#he'd still kill people who pissed him off

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

[fic: double-blind] Ok i dunno if this is too much of a hypothetical/meta question or not, but if it's ok, i would like to ask sim!Tony from the previous ask (kidnapping AU, i think?):

Say, somehow, through magic or time travel or whatever, your Peter, your actual son makes his way back to you, alive. And the first thing he does is he asks you to take a serum that reverses the effects of extremis. Would you do it?

I... yes. Yes. I would do anything for him.

[officiallycake-blog]

Am I an unreasonable and self-centered pc? Or are my brothers argumentative for no good reason?

[gremlingottoosilly]

Readed with shitty parents getting into an arranged marriage to Pushover!König

It's like two puppies being set up for breeding. Konig is a colonel, at his young - considerably, he is still in his thirties - age, and a complete and total pushover everywhere except the military. No wife, no girlfriend, not even a pet - maybe your parents took pity on a family friend, looking at how lonely he was with all his wealth sitting in some bank account while he was barely home to spend even a quarter of it. Maybe, your parents just knew some of his weirder tendencies and wanted to push you away into the lion's den - you don't know. Clutching the shitty flower boquet in your hands - not even a proper wedding one, all the preparations were over in a few days before the wedding itself - you don't know if getting out of your parent's house is a mercy or cruelty. Maybe, it's both. Konig wouldn't even kiss you on your wedding - and he seems pissed off through the whole ceremony, this marriage being set up to a failure from the start. You trembled, not sure how to even start talking to your husband - you barely knew who the fuck is he. Barely wanted to know, really. He is, however, soft. In bedroom, although he didn't even ask if you want to start with your marital duties so early, he still brought you to bed. Tried to be gentle as he unwrapped the cheap wedding dress and asked if you want him to be over as soon as possible or if you want something soft. Sweet. You didn't want the pain - so you curled down on the bed, letting him cover your body in kisses and all of his roughness slowly slipping away as you trembled under him. He is weirdly soft for a man of his status, weirdly gentle for a guy who kills people for a living. He put a pillow under your hips so it would be easier for you to take him all in. He is a softie for you - if you ask him to do something, he will do it, even if that means spending the whole day outside of the house, working on a pool because you wanted to swim during summer and didn't want to drive to the nearest lake. If your happiness means him cuddling with you for hours because you're touch starved and want connection, he will let you cling to him like a coala as he does the chores around the house. Konig is trying his best to be a good husband whenever he is at home - and he'd be damned if he won't let his wife have the best possible life.

[writersdrug]

For the alpha/omega one, forced proximity on one of his missions he gets sent on, and she is basically standard issue along with his weapon. She’s around his stuff/in his bunk 24/7, her sent slowly permeating everything, eventually his mask, driving him crazy/rut if that’s interesting. She gets captured, he starts to realize how much he’d unconsciously relied on her, goes feral, tears enemy base apart and she nurses him back to health? Hehehehe I love feral könig

Oh, he's pissed.

Warnings: mentions of violence, attempted sexual assault (very minor and brief, guy gets what's coming to him)

When Ridgeback had informed the team that they had a new assignment, König was sighing in relief. Finally, a moment away from that damned omega. A chance to prove that he didn't need some weak, not-so-self-sustainable thing to "improve his performance" (if anything, you were just making him grumpier, with how often you complained about the standard-issued nesting material. He already said he'd buy you some new blankets, ok?!).

But then, Ridgeback announced that any partners belonging to the soldiers would be included on the deployment. Meaning omegas. Meaning you.

You weren't happy, either. You thought you were going to get an entire two weeks to yourself, including the entirety of König's room and bathroom and a chance to roll around in his clothes and scent uninterrupted. You'd get to chat it up with the sweet beta corporals that accompanied you to the mess hall in your Alpha's absence. But now? Being flown out to god-knows-where with König, a.k.a. Chuckles? With even fewer nesting materials of an even lesser quality? Great. Just perfect.

König hated how you were everywhere. He hated how your scent, ocean breeze and warm sandalwood, had clung to every article of clothing he owned. He hated how you built your (rather lackluster) nest in the top bunk with a literal wall of pillows around you - he wasn't even in there with you, why were you adding insult to injury? He hated that you were even here in the first place. Who's idea was this?! Now he has to growl at anybody that approaches his table in the dingy cafeteria where the two of you eat in silence, or sit in in the briefing room with you squished to near death in the corner, just to keep you away from other alphas. Not to mention, projecting his scent to cover yours is very inconvenient, you should really stop smelling so nice.

It was a breath of fresh air when they finally landed at the objective rally point for the mission - but the gunshots and acrid smell of blood did little to drown out the thoughts of you. What were you doing without him there to scowl at you? He didn't like the idea of some random beta from this random base taking you to meals, but it was better than an Alpha, he supposed. Your scent clung to his mask, and although it made his senses keener and sharper, he really wished it would just go away, so he could stop thinking of you and focus on the mission. Thankfully, it didn't last too long.

Thank goodness he was still in overdrive when the heli touched base, though - because he quickly found out that you were not where you should be: in his room. He'd have half a mind to think you ran off to do your own thing, if it wasn't for the sour scent in the room, rather than your usual sweet, slightly angry notes. You didn't leave intentionally.

Everyone was instantly on edge when he burst out of the room, nostrils flaring and pupils shrunken in his rage. Horangi rushed after him as König stormed throughout the base, following the trail of your scent (he has to make sure his friend doesn't kill anyone - innocent, that is). He hadn't claimed you yet; a decision he was regretting more and more by the second. What kind of Alpha was he? Leaving you alone on a foreign base without a nice, toothy mark on your neck. No, he didn't need you (🙄), but you were his. He should have made that clear. He didn't like it when people tried to take his omega.

It didn't take long before he heard you - some idiot Alpha had dragged you into the back of a humvee, and König could see your limbs kicking and scratching underneath the man (who had a decent, bloody scratch on his face - good on you). Your snarls and hisses echoed through the cracked windows - which König promptly shattered as he smashed his arm through it, grabbing the sergeant by his collar and pulling him out through the broken glass. You suddenly froze at the sound of the man being punched relentlessly, smelling a familiar cinnamon, woodsmoke, and earth, combined with the smell of blood. König's scent smelled like straight blood when he was angry, and it was terrifying, even to you.

Horangi was quick to interject König and his death sentence to the sergeant, pulling him off of the smaller Alpha - a bold move, even dangerous, but their pack bond was thicker than iron, and König wouldn't mistakenly swing on his friend.

Horangi shoved König back, muttering a quick "get your omega", before pulling the now-unconscious sergeant up by his armpits. "I'll do something with him."

König took a moment to clear his head, breathing in deeply and exhaling through clenched teeth. He then moved to the other side of the car with stride, yanking open the back passenger door and reaching in. You made a sound, a frightened squeak, still alert and cautious, as he promptly dragged you out from the back seat. After a quick brush of your clothes with his hand, making sure there's no lingering shards of glass on you, he tossed you over his shoulder with a grunt and made back for the barracks, leaving Horangi to deal with the soldier.

You assumed you're in deep waters with him now. König didn't say a word to you, just stormed through the halls and huffed at anyone he passes. You were a bit embarrassed by the whole ordeal: you had been dragged out, kicking and screaming (and gave a proper, internal fuck you to the surrounding personnel that did nothing) from the barracks, and now here you were, being dragged right back in - just without the protest.

He reached your shared quarters and shoved his bulky frame inside, kicking the door shut behind him. You were about to explain yourself when he slipped you off of his shoulder and put you back on your feet - then promptly leaned down and shoved his face into your neck, inhaling rather obnoxiously while gripping you by your arms. You whined at the sudden, atypical behavior, gently pushing against his chest to get away from the behemoth of a man. He ignored it, picking you up again and carrying you into his bunk bed. He drags you in between himself and the wall, chuffing when you fit so nicely against his frame. Had you always been so comfortable? Why didn't someone convince him to hold you like this sooner?

You, on the other hand, were not as comfy. This wasn't your nest - you didn't have that stupid, grey, felt blanket that was five feet too long, nor the extra pillows you had stolen from the empty room across the hall. You didn't have your border, your flimsy wall of protection against the rest of the world. You squirmed in König's grip, shoving against his taut abdomen and trying to climb over him. He growled, a sound that had you bristling for a moment, but you pushed past it.

"Gimme a sec-"

"Schatz, please-"

"Just a minute!"

He huffed and let you go; you scrambled over him and out of his bed, the thick, muscular cords of his abdomen tensing as you used it to support your weight. He lay on his back and sighed. He just saved you from some cocksure, weaker Alpha - weren't you thankful? I mean, really - this was truly insulting. Here he was (oh, look, his fist was bleeding from smashing the car window, didn't that show you he was a good protector? A good mate?), fresh off of deployment, fighting the demons of the world just for you, and you had the audacity to turn your nose away from him and shuffle back to your precious little nest. How sweet of you. Very appreciative, liebe. Why don't you-

He was torn from his thoughts when a blanket was tossed over him. He pulled it back, confused, as he felt you shoving pillows into his side. You tucked them around him, forming a barrier around the side of him that was closest to the edge of the bed. He watched as you fussed for a bit, beating and fluffing the pillows until they were just right. You then tossed one more onto the bed - one that was wearing his shirt as a case, which had him melting - and climbed overtop of him again.

His chest rumbled with an affectionate sound as you took a damp bathroom towel and began wrapping it around his busted hand. You held it against your chest as you curled into his side once more, not protesting or scrunching your face when he wrapped his other hand around your waist and rubbed your back. He preened when he felt the reverberations of your purr against his hand, your sweet scent filling the air and causing him to relax his shoulders and neck muscles. It permeated his brain and made his Alpha sigh with relief, happiness, and satisfaction. Your scent was finally untainted by that bitter, angry note that you usually had.

"Thanks for... today." you said, deciding to leave the details unspoken. "Sorry about the-"

"Don't be sorry." he rumbled, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your lower back. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"You couldn't be."

"Well, now I am."

You sighed, letting your eyes flutter shut. He's not so bad... getting sent off by my family to some random military company was bad, sure, but... my Alpha's a good one. This could be good.

"You're purring very loudly, schatz."

"Shut up."

[obsessedwrhys]

Can we have a part 2 Deadpool reader with the boys and maybe soldier boy too❓❓ if you want to of course

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader's origin will be explained underneath, reader is still an asshole lol that comes with the character, mention about killing,death,gore, weed, drugs, Reader is gn!!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the seven, kiss kiss <3

Origin:

Quick summary, when you were born, your parents had agreed with Vought to have you be pumped full of Compound V so you could grow up and be a hero working under them, but the problem was when you were around 7, they changed their mind so Vought ended up sending several people to come to your house to settle the matter.

Your whole family was massacred in the living room during thanksgiving and when they tried to capture you. You were able to run away. Homeless and living on the street, you grew up in a life of crime, depending on nobody but yourself. Make sense? No? Good! Let's start now.

BUTCHER

To him, you were like a fly that won't leave him alone.

How he knew you was through Mallory, she thought you were okay and fit for the job since you hated Vought just as much.

Obviously he didn't like you once you were introduced to him and the two (M.M and Frenchie)

"No way am I lettin' a supe join us"

":("

Though after what happened to Mallory's grandchildren, the gang pretty much dispersed but wherever Butcher went, you followed. Since he was the only person you trusted... and also enjoy annoying the shit out of.

He'd head inside a club, relieved he hadn't seen you for the past few days so he decided to grab a drink by the bar to unwind.

"Whiskey" He said with his eyes looking around, paranoia shown on his face.

Once his drink was served, he would look back to find your eyes smiling at him, you were wearing a bartender disguise over your red suit.

"Did you miss me?"

"Oh christ..."

When you heard word that he was gathering back the team, you had to be there. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't?

Undoubtedly he had to admit, there were times where he was grateful to have you on the team but there were also other times he regretted it.

For example, that time when you guys needed to sneak into a lab to get something and the goal was to stay quiet but even that simple rule was hard for you to follow.

"Room's up ahead. (Y/N) I need you to—"

"Heads up!" You said as you threw a bomb at the metal door.

The explosion causing the alarm to turn on and it had the whole lab now on high alert. You shrug innocently when Butcher glared at you like he wanted to tear you apart.

Also, you enjoy constantly pissing him off. You can't die so you don't really care if he'll kill you for it.

"Maybe, if you didn' press the fuckin' button, we wouldn't have to come bac' to save yer ass from the guards"

"OOH GOD SAVE THE QUEEEN!! Please, cry me a fucking river. I got us the target didn't I?"

"He's dead"

"Well you weren't being specific when you said to capture him"

But it's fine, all his frustration will be solved once he uses you as bait. He knows you can't die but hey, it makes him feel slightly better watching you get shot at.

Despite your ups and downs, he appreciates you. When the team would turn against him on his insane journey for revenge, he always found you the only one still standing by his side. You're loyal and he likes that.

Compatibility? 75%

HUGHIE

You treat him like a child.

No seriously you baby talk him sometimes and it annoys him

"Awwwww is little hughie angry?"

"Stop..."

"Does baby want his milky?"

Since he's pretty much the only person who isn't that exposed to crime as the others, he's terrified 100% everytime when he's paired up to do any dirty work with you.

"Now listen buddy, you better start talking or I'm gonna shoot" You said, gun raised at the man who seemed to be begging you to spare his life in a language you didn't speak.

"I don't think he speaks English"

"Ah shit... ENGLISH!! SPEAK!! ABCDEFG??!"

"How is shouting in English gonna make him understand?"

"Eh, you're right"

BANG

"WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM??!"

"Well did you expect me to pull out Duolingo and start taking classes?!"

You had to admit, it was a pain in the ass each time he starts giving you the cold shoulder whenever he gets mad at you for doing something terrible. It was like his way of guilt tripping you so you always try to apologise in your own ways.

"Hey..." You said, handing him ice cream.

"...I uh... I don’t like Strawberry ice cream... I thought I told you that"

"God you're so ungrateful!!"

Since he was such a scaredy cat, you try to tone down your craziness a bit. For the sake of him not going into cardiac arrest.

"(Y/N) STOP!! She has nothing to do with this!! She was tricked" Hughie grabbed you by the arm to pull your gun away from the innocent woman.

You turn your head to look at him, then at the woman, then at him again, then the woman, then him again.

"Ugh finnnne... you're boring..."

However, he does appreciate you trying to be a better person. Even you had to admit, after you met him and became friends. You noticed yourself being less brutal than you used to be. The thought keeps you awake at night and it scares the shit out of you.

But oh well, how could you ever say no to those scared little puppy eyes?

Compatibility? 55%

FRENCHIE

He's like your hype man which is concerning.

Not because you're not afraid to get the job done but also because you always have his back.

"Well... I need some gunpowder but I've run out of them" Frenchie said, telling Butcher that the plan was most likely not gonna happen.

"Hold on" You said with the typical comical ☝🏻 gesture before heading into a different room. Everyone exchanging confused glances at what you could possibly be doing.

After a few minutes you'd return with a bag of gunpowder while struggling to zip up your pants with the other hand.

"Don't tell me how I got it. It almost tore me apart" You said, rubbing your ass.

On stressful nights, you guys would enjoy smoking weed together by the sofa and share stories of your traumatic childhood. It's how you guys bond and it's oddly wholesome.

Also when he needs a shoulder to cry on, you were always there for him. You two shared a type of relationship that even Romeo and Juliet couldn't compete with. To be fair they're dead so they actually can't fight.

"Hey reader!! If you're gonna keep reading then you might as well give the post a like or a repost. C'mon, pleassssseeee pleasepleaseplease"

"Ma cerise, who are you talking to?"

Although he doesn't mind your behaviour sometimes but he won't tolerate it if you ever cross the line on something. He's like the owner who sprays water at his pet cat when they don't listen.

"What are you mad at me for?!?!"

"You damn near tried to get us killed!!"

"Hey! You're the one who said it would be a suicide mission so I made sure it was a suicide mission!!"

"WHAT?"

There's no way he can deny how curious he is about where you get your guns and things. He once went in your room to find boxes of dynamite and a RPG just placed against the wall like furniture.

Like do you have a supplier or are you your own supplier?

Compatibility? 99.9%

M.M

Everybody deserves second chances.

He always tells him that to calm himself down everytime you managed to fuck up a thoroughly planned mission.

"What did I say about pressing buttons (Y/N)?"

"Honestly I stopped paying attention after you said 'Listen here'."

M.M has to be the only person you fear to the fact you try very hard to avoid him, this is because his long ass lectures are such a pain to deal with.

"How many times do I have to remind you? You can't just go around doing shit like that. You gotta consider the amount of danger you'll put everyone in..."

"(Blah blah blah... he's still going... uggggh... make it stop...!)"

Unable to handle the lecture any longer, you ended up shooting yourself in the head.

"(Y/N)!" His tone more disappointed than concern since this wasn't the first time you did this to escape his talks.

You know that russian dollhouse he tries to build in season 2? Well you'd constantly be found standing or sitting near him when he's trying to finish the set.

Since you're aware of his OCD, you like to edge him on by sometimes rearranging the parts or stealing some of it so he ends up searching high and low for the missing parts.

You had to admit it was entertaining to watch him accuse other people for touching his stuff when it was you behind all the schemes.

I'd like to think that after every mission when you happen to die, he'd be the one in charge of collecting your remains so you'd grow back.

That's why it comes naturally that his job is to make sure you don't do anything extreme.

"Where are my bombs??!?!" You'd shout, storming around the place looking for them.

"I sold them. Thought it'd do us more good knowing you won’t accidentally blow us up"

"WHAT?! GOD! It's like the writers of the show couldn't afford another explosion for this season so they had to use this DUMB of an excuse!!"

Though he does see some good in you through the messed up parts, he once saw you give his daughter a cute teddy bear when they've been burned by Vought.

She still has the bear and M.M likes to think that maybe you have a soft spot for kids since you never had a proper childhood. That's why he chooses to understand you rather than just being ignorant about your behaviour.

Compatibility? 80%

KIMIKO

She finds you a little odd but she doesn't mind once she realises how everyone is used to you being like that.

Whenever you're bored, you'd come to see what she was up to. Just imagine you sitting on the sofa like a curious kid as you watch her write alphabets on the book.

She also tries to communicate with you since she thought maybe your fucked up mind would understand her better in a way. Like how in season 2 she was repeatedly writing 'boy' to Frenchie but he didn't understand, so she came to you.

"Woow... watching you try to talk to me is like watching a baby take it's first breath..."

"😐"

"It's beautiful..."

Turns out her theory was wrong, you had a harder time understanding her compared to the rest.

Since you're the only two people in the group with powers, most of the time you two are sent on dangerous missions together. It's a nightmare for her because everybody knows communication is key but one is mute and the other doesn't listen.

"(Be quiet! There's people in the other room!)" She'd sign to you but you were busy humming a song while throwing around the enemies equipment.

"Oooh, what's this?" You held up a Homelander figurine which made you laugh as you show it to her.

"Hey look! 'I'm Homelander, I'm God's favourite. I play golf with Jesus every Sunday."

"(Can you please take this seriously?)"

"You're right, you gotta stop messing around Kimiko! We have a target to kill here" You said and you threw the figurine away which apparently clashes into a stack of boxes that came crashing down. The sound making everyone inside the building grab their weapons and began cornering you two in the room.

"😡"

"Okay that wasn't me that was gravity"

For the boys, you were plan A and she was plan B. That's because you always end up rushing into a fight first which most of the time resulted in you getting dismembered, which she later comes in to save you.

For example when Stormfront had stopped you guys, your bright ass thought it was a good idea to charge at her even though everyone was signalling you to stop. Next thing you know you were just a head being carried by M.M, you ended up watching as Kimiko fought Stormfront with the help of Starlight and Queen Maeve.

"That's my girl!! Now can anyone lend me a hand? I think I lost mine"

Compatibility? 97%

Bonus +

SOLDIER BOY

You know the scene where he walks out of his containment with the gas surrounding him? You swore when you watched him step out butt naked, you could hear angels singing and trumpets playing inside your head.

Shockingly enough, he was the only person who appreciated your humour. Could be a generation thing. He's just relieved not everyone has gone soft over the years.

In a way, you feel like you've become his babysitter. Everytime Butcher and Hughie left to do some business, you were in charge of making sure he doesn't blow up anyone. You kept him entertained so he didn't mind. That's why on the hunt for his former team members, he immediately chose you to be by his side.

"I'll take red with me"

"Red as in the american flag or the russians?" You asked which had him do the typical boomer laugh.

"I like you, you're funny" He said with a strong pat on your shoulder.

Butcher doesn't mind you with him cause he trusts that you can keep him under control. Hughie on the other hand isn't sure if you can even keep yourself under control.

"Shhh... wait... do you hear that?"

"Ah shit, did I accidentally said my dirty thoughts out loud? It's just you look breedable in that suit"

Another thing he likes about you is that you're okay with killing pretty much anyone, just try not to overstep cause that could potentially piss him off.

"I told you he's mine" He said as he had you pinned against one of the trees, apparently you had shot Mindstorm in the head when he literally made it clear to you minutes ago that was his kill.

"Quite possessive aren't you? I can recommended a therapist I know. Her names Martha—"

"You shut your mouth before I shove my shield up your ass"

"Gasp don't you DARE threaten me with a good time!!"

At the end of Season 3, you would obviously side with Butcher when everyone started to turn against Soldier Boy. He had to admit he was kinda hurt though, he expected you to be on his side.

"So what? You're crawling back to him now? After what we've been through?"

"Sorry big daddy, but Butcher has been my day one and I also happen to love him veryvery much"

Cue Butcher rolling his eyes out of disgust.

Compatibility? 100% but after the betrayal? 0% 😔

[pastorpresent]

Since Logan moved in, it was finally deemed that their singular double bed was an unrealistic sleeping arrangement for three people. It had barely worked when it was just him and Al, but Logan was fucking huge and most of the time the older mans attempts at sleeping on the lumpy, cocaine stuffed couch would end up with him on the floor and aching the next day.

Wade saved up and managed to find a sofa bed that would actually fit in their tiny living room (which he only did so Logan would stop bitching, obviously. He only worked an extra thirty hours ish because Logan was pissing him off with his moaning, and Wade was prepared to kill anyone who suggested otherwise).

Originally, it was supposed to be for Logan - but him being the annoyingly gracious gentleman he was, he offered it up to Al since it was now the most comfortable sleeping option going. (Wade once tried to tell him to give it up, that Al didn't have a good side to get on, but then he'd been proven wrong by the fact that Al was fucking smitten by the bastard. Wade was convinced they were conspiring against him.)

It left them both sharing the double bed and, again, Logan was fucking huge. Even if Wade made every effort to restrain himself and lie strictly on the very edge of the bed, nine times out of ten he'd wake up the next morning curled around the big hunk of muscle.

It felt... so fucking good. Wade wasn't a cuddler, funnily enough, but there was just something about it being Logan specifically. He'd genuinely never felt safer than he did wrapped up in his arms, listening to the quiet snores of the older man and feeling his heart beat right up against his own.

And it's not like it was a conscious thing he was doing - he was literally asleep! Plus Logan never objected, and he always cuddled back, and sometimes there was a tiny and disgustingly hopeful voice in the recesses of his mind asking if their position was due to Logan pulling him in rather than Wade's unconscious and persistent disregard for personal space.

They'd had this unspoken, completely-undiscussed-for-any-period-of-time-whatsoever arrangement for about two months when one night Wade woke up to agonising pain.

He blinked blearily, brain still half asleep as he struggled to comprehend what was going on, and his first thought was Logan. If someone had broken in, what if he was hurt too? What if they'd found a way to kill him? It felt like he was dying, with the horrific sharp stabbing in his sides scratching his heart and popping both lungs like balloons, leaving him unable to breathe properly as his chest sucked inwards. What if he was truly dying? And worse still - what if they'd found a way to kill Logan?

There was a soft growl that tapered off into a small whimper just inches from his face, and he forced himself to calm down and focus.

They were locked in their usual embrace, but when Wade looked up at Logan's face, it was screwed up. He was shaking his head rapidly, breaths coming out short and laboured, his eyes still tightly closed.

It was then he realised what the source of his own pain was. Six adamantium claws piercing through both sides of his body, ripping up his organs into gruesome confetti.

Shit.

Logan thrashed a little, his claws deepening, and Wade cried out a little at the explosion of pain. He lifted an arm and clamped it down onto Logan's forearm to not only steady himself, but to try to get the man to wake up from whatever nightmare he was having. Wade knew too well about how violently real they could feel. It really wasn't a stretch or exaggeration to say that seeing the frightened look on Logan's sleeping face, usually the only time he got to look some sort of peaceful, was more hurtful than any of the physical pain Wade was currently experiencing.

When he gripped Logan's arm, he was shaking like a leaf.

"Logan," he called, struggling around his rearranged insides, tightening his grip on the man's arm in an attempt to ground him.

Logan snarled, embedding his claws deeper until they were peeking out the opposite sides of Wade's body, his warm fists pressing against skin, and if Wade could bring himself to focus on anything other than the blindingly white shot of pain or the emotional turmoil on his best friends face he may of mourned his now tattered Hello Kitty sleep shirt.

Logan's claws hurt sinking into him even when he had the suit on, but he'd never experienced their wrath without it - and it was much worse.

"L-Logan," he called out, coughing up blood and chunks of flesh onto the already destroyed bed sheets and yeah- he'd probably need to change them now, considering he was bleeding out most of his body's blood all over them. He just hoped the mattress wasn't completely fucked, because his paycheck probably couldn't stretch to new sheets and a new mattress.

Logan let out a sound halfway between a moan and a sob, and there was a wetness beneath his lashes. Ok no - this needed to end now.

"It's W-Wade, Logan. M' right here, you're s-safe, 'ts ok," it was getting really difficult to talk, especially loud enough for Logan to hear him above his own sounds of distress.

He ran his fingers up and down Logan's arm, scratching lightly. His own body was feeling dangerously weak, and he knew he was about to die from blood loss probably - which usually took a good few hours to regenerate from.

He couldn't have that. He couldn't leave Logan like this, so he needed to pull him out of it soon.

He hesitated for only a second before inching himself closer, gasping and writhing at the agony it caused, and let his head drop against Logan's, moving his hand upwards with a soft grunt to stroke a hand through his hair.

"T's me. L-Logan 'ts ok, y-you're ok," he has to turn his face away to cough wetly into his shoulder, wincing at the metallic taste of blood.

"Lo, please," he pleads quietly, and he isn't sure what does it, but Logan wakes up.

His eyes shoot open, and dart around rapidly, chest heaving, and then they zero in on him. On the bloody mess of their bed, and their current position, and Wade really is getting tired now. His eyelids feel like they weigh a thousand pounds, and he let's the hand he was running through Logan's hair go limp, allowing it to fall against the older mans pillow.

"G'd job, big guy. K-knew you'd come back f'r me," he slurs out, his head lolling back despite wanting nothing more than to keep it pressed against Logan's. He can feel himself slipping.

"Wade. WADE! Fuck, Wade!"

The claws retract out of his body suddenly, and it feels like a punch to his insides. Logan screams, or maybe he does, he's not sure anymore.

He wants to comfort Logan and tell him it's fine, that he'll be healed up and ok in an hour or two, that it wasn't his fault, because he already knows the man will blame himself for this which is beyond fucking stupid.

He can't do or say any of it. His insides are trying to heal, but they'd been so torn up it wasn't all that fast.

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, Wade stay awake, alright? Keep your eyes open, you asshole. I'm so sorry, so fucking sorry," Logan's panicking, he can hear it in his voice. He's really panicking now, and Wade can't figure out how to communicate that he will be perfectly ok soon enough.

"Baby, please. Please, I'm so sorry."

Did Logan just call him baby? He must really not look great.

He manages to lift that shaking hand off of the pillow behind Logan's head, and lifts it enough to cup the back of his neck, stroking his thumb over the shorter hairs there. Logan wraps his arms around him like he's about to dissapear, pulling him in flush against his warmth, all but cradling him, and he can't tell if the wetness on his shoulder is Logan crying or blood.

Blood seems more likely. The beds covered in it. Wade's covered in it too, and he feels like he should be trying to push Logan away so he doesn't get covered in it as well.

It's the last thing he remembers before the world goes black.

//

When he wakes up, it's daylight - which isn't all that surprising. Regenerating your bodies blood cells was a right bitch, and he'd never had to do it on this big of a scale before.

He blinks his eyes against the harsh lights, and goes to sit up only to be stopped by a soft, perfectly manicured hand against his chest.

"Easy, Wade. Just stay lying down for a minute until your brain catches up," Vanessa advises gently and - Vanessa? What was she doing here?

"Where's Logan?" He blurts, not quite caring if it's rude. He needs to see him. He'd been trapped in that shitty nightmare and then had nobody to talk it over with, since Wade's stupid body decided to give up on him.

He hates the brief look that flashes over Vanessa's face. The twist of anger and disgust, and he doesn't fucking get it which only makes him hate it more.

"What?" He demands, and as much as he was healed up, his lungs still burnt a little when he sat up, brushing her hand away.

"You don't need to worry about that now, Wade. He can't hurt you again. He's gone," she hissed, and Wade had heard her be less seething with grabby customers at the bar.

Her words made his stomach plummet, and his newly generated blood flow went cold.

"What the fuck do you mean 'gone'?! Where the fuck is he?"

The TVA had always offered to send his Logan back to his own timeline. Everytime Logan had dismissed it, said this was his universe now. The idea... fuck, the idea of him back in his own? Where everyone calls him the 'worst wolverine' and he spends all his time alone, shunned by everybody for reasons he's more than made up for... no. No, fuck, please say he didn't go back there.

"Wade, calm down-"

"No! I don't want to fucking calm down! Where's Logan?!"

It's loud and harsh, and he startles himself a little bit because he's never, in all the years he's known her, yelled at Vanessa - but he feels so off balance. Like everything around him is just... wrong, somehow, and he needs to understand why in order to fix it. He needs Logan.

Vanessa removes her hand, mouth opening then snapping shut. Her expression goes from shocked to tight and hard in an instant, but she only holds it for a moment before deflating entirely, shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't know. He called me upset and said he'd hurt you really badly and that you needed help. By the time I got here you were starting to heal but... it was really slow. We patched you up and Logan told me what had happened and... and I lost it, I told him to go and to stay far away from you. No ones heard from him the last couple of days since he walked out," Vanessa looked somewhat guilty, but it didn't quell Wade's anger.

"Hang on - a couple of days? How long was I out?"

"Three days. Colossus said you'd pretty much lost all the blood in your body, and ended up putting you on a drip to help your body regenerate it faster," Vanessa explained, and Wade swallowed.

Three days? He must've been worse off than he'd thought. He knew he couldn't die from it, but to be on the brink for so long sounded... unpleasant. He did feel a pang of sympathy for her then, dealing with that. It's not like his immortality came with a guide book, and so for him to appear so very close to actual death for so long it was likely more than unsettling.

"Look, it wasn't Logan's fault-"

"Wade-" Vanessa tried, her voice exasperated as if she'd been anticipating this.

"I'm serious. Logan didn't mean to do it, he didn't even realise," Wade argued.

"If he knows he could be dangerous he shouldn't of slept in the same bed as you! He- he shouldn't of been doing that anyway!"

The room went painfully quiet after her explosion. There was far too much to unpack in the meaning of her words, and frankly Wade didn't have the time or the energy.

"I'm going to find Logan."

She didn't argue with him when he got up this time.

//

It didn't actually take long for Wade to track him down. With his past history of profession, tracking people down was sort of a specialty at this point.

Didn't hurt that Logan was hard to fucking miss, and even harder to forget. Wade would know a thing or two about that, maybe.

He was just relieved he hadn't high tailed it back to his own universe, even as he pushed his way into the seedy bar and well - if even Wade would describe it as fucking seedy...

He spotted Logan immediately. Hunched over the bar on a tatted bar stool, adorning his old leather jacket ('why don't you get a new one? This ones like, peeling.' Logan had shrugged, adjusting the fabric on his shoulders, 'I like this one.')

The bartender was refusing to serve him another shot, and Logan was begging in that sort of gruff but all together desperate kind of way, promising to leave after this one.

It was so fucking nostalgic of their first meeting that Wade almost wanted to go over there and pull his gun, just for nostalgia sake.

It was equal parts depressing too, because Logan had come so far. In terms of coping with his shit and the alcohol, and yet here he was, back to a literal caricature of square one, ground zero, and it only made Wade that much more pissed at the whole situation.

"You know I won't kiss when you have whiskey breath, peanut," Wade made his presence known in the only way he knew how. Obnoxiously.

He slid up to the bar next to Logan, taking the unoccupied seat to his left.

Logan stared at him for a long moment, eyes scanning over the entirety of him frantically as if he was checking for non-existent damage.

"I'm fine, big guy. Sheesh, you think you're the first to try bleeding me dry? I still don't shut the fuck up for long," he joked, because joking just seemed easier. Nevermind the fact that it was mostly a lie - no one had ever tried that method of murder yet, or at least not purposefully.

Logan was still looking at him with that pained look. It was one he recognised - much akin to the expression he wore the night when he had told him all about the xmen of his old universe and what had happened to them.

"I'm honestly okay. Look," he reached out to grab Logans hand, bringing it to his clothed side to prove he was still all in one piece, but when Logan realised he yanked his hand back so harshly he stumbled off his stool, his face utterly horrified.

"Logan-"

"Don't, Wade! I can't touch you. I can't," Logan stressed, eyes wide.

"It was an accident! Fuck, you were asleep! You didn't mean to do it, and I've healed up completely!" Wade emphasised, but Logan ducked his head to avoid his gaze, swallowing thickly.

"I... I can't fucking risk it, alright? Not again. Jesus, we didn't think..." Logan tapered off, his eyes growing distant, "we didn't think you'd come back from it, bub. I really thought I'd... I'd killed you for good."

Logan wouldn't look at him, but even the emotion in his voice had Wade's newly repaired heart shattering all over again.

"But you didn't. Give me your hand."

Logan frowned, "Wade I'm fucking serious, I can't touch you again. I shouldn't even be anywhere near you after what I did," he argued, and Wade scoffed.

He unholstered one of his guns, relieved that the place was rough enough that doing so barely earned him a sideways glance.

Logan watched him wearily.

Wade jabbed the barrel of the gun against his own torso, turned upwards for a direct shot to his heart.

"What the fuck are you doing?! You're barely healed!" Logan blanched, trying to grab for the gun. Wade clicked the safety off in response, stopping the older man dead in his tracks.

"Let me have your hand and I'll holster it. If you don't, well... I'll just need to shoot to prove I'm not some delicate damsel. I know I have the looks to qualify as a Disney princess, but they won't take me, so you're stuck with me. And that's gonna be a lot fucking harder if you're going to go the running away and avoiding touching me like I'm some sort of plague route, sweetness."

There was a few beats of silence, and Wade really hoped Logan would just take the first option. Lodging a bullet into himself right now sounded fucking painful.

"You're fucking crazy, bub," Logan muttered in disbelief, but reluctantly held his hand out in offering.

Wade put the gun away, grabbing the large, calloused hand in his own scarred one. Logan's was scarred a little too, the only place on his body to show any sort of lasting damage. Little white scratches across each knuckle where the metal retracted out of his body repetitively.

('Does it hurt?' Wade asked one day when they were sat watching mindless TV, staring down at the marks between Logan's fingers. Logan doesn't ask for clarification, or even glance away from the screen, 'everytime.' Something in the way he says it upsets Wade so deeply his chest literally aches for a moment.)

He takes Logan's hand and snakes it beneath his shirt, (he can't even bring himself to make a stupid innuendo about it) guiding it over his healed skin.

Logan flinches, eyes shutting momentarily, breathing slightly shaky, and Wade can feel the tension in his arm, wanting to pull away but not. Trusting Wade, even if he doesn't trust himself.

"It's okay, see? There's nothing there anymore. Feel."

He let's go of Logan's wrist, and the older man gently, so annoyingly gently, runs his finger tips over his sides that were once leaking out oceans of blood between them.

"It doesn't change the facts that I did it. I did it again, and I lucked out again, but if you didn't have your powers..." Logan went to pull his hand away again, but Wade held it firmly in place, searching his face.

"But I do, so we're not worrying about anything else."

He wants to ask what Logan meant by 'again'. He wanted to know everything about the man in front of him, but Wade knew the secrets would come with time. Or not at all, and Wade could make peace with that too if it's what Logan needed.

"I'm really glad you're ok, bub," Logan murmurs after a beat of silence, his gruff tone softer.

Wade smiled, "I'd be better if you'd come home and continue our marathon of keeping up with the kardashians."

Logan side eyed the bar, before turning his entire focus back to Wade, nodding wordlessly.

They left the bar together, and while Wade continued his usual tirade of adhd fuelled conversation, Logan just watched him with a secret smile he'd later swear wasn't there.

And if he occasionally brushed an arm against the mercs side just to make sure he was truly still in one piece, Wade didn't say anything.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

ꭱꭺꮪꮲᏼꭼꭱꭱꭹ ꮮꮖꮲ ꮐꮮꮻꮪꮪ 【 𝙻𝚘𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝖧𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗍 】

A/n: more Logan content 🙂‍↔️, was thinking about writing a part 2 with a more happy ending 🤭

You and that damn raspberry lip gloss.

When you first joined the team Logan swore he hated it, hated you for applying that shit constantly to your lips. What was so damn special about it anyway?

It became a daily routine back at the mansion, he'd smell it first. The strong scent of raspberries followed by whatever chosen scent you picked as your perfume but it was your smile that pissed him off the most.

Because you were always smiling, you were always smiling at him and he hated it because deep down he knew he didn't deserve it.

Logan didn't deserve your smile, your kindness, your laughter, your love and he defiantly didn't deserve to taste that damn raspberry berry lip gloss.

He realized his love for you far too late, he knows that now but it did not mean it still didn't hurt.

It was supposed to be a routine mission, something simple but then again nothing is ever simple with him. Mind controlled, he could not believe he let that happen.

But it did and because of that you were killed, it happened too quick for anyone to even react. His claws buried deep in your belly. The spell broke the moment it happened, his mind clear of the fog as it dawned on him what he has done.

You were struggling to breathe, blood pouring from your wounds as he pressed his hand down hard hoping to stop the blood but you were smiling at him through bloody lips.

You were fucking smiling at him as if his whole world hadn't just come crashing down on him. He could feel you place your hand against his cheek as he prayed, begged for you to live. He couldn't lose you, not now. Not when he finally had a glimpse of happiness in his life.

But it didn't happen, your wound didn't close, you didn't spring to your feet claiming you were fine. No, instead he could see the light fading from your eyes, the warmth leaving your body.

"Kiss me...please Logan."

He obliges of course, he could never deny a request, never from you any way.

He tasted the blood, that metallic taste and of course that damn raspberry lip gloss.

Logan left the team after your death, after he killed you. The team didn't blame him of course, it wasn't your fault they said.

But it was, they just didn't understand. Now sitting in some bar in a town he couldn't care to remember Logan let his thumb slide over the tube of your lip gloss. He knew it was wrong but he didn't care it was the one thing he had left, the one thing that reminded him of what he could of had.

He didn't even noticed the murmurs of people until whoever it was opened his mouth.

"I think this may be the one."

Gripping the gloss in his hand he finally turned his body to spot a man in a red jumpsuit.

"Who the fuck are you."

[weirdthinkingdragon]

(Big neuvillette spoiler)

What if with the genshin SAGAU, you do get targeted as a fake by most, EXCEPT Nahida, the enemies, and the sovereign dragons. And Nahida helps you get to Fontaine, where you'd likely be the safest for the time being.

Neuvillette instantly senses and knows who you are, and is even more pissed at the archons from all the injuries you have, how you're terrified of everyone and everything, and how you scarfed down whatever food was laid upon you no matter how great or small. As if you had to bolt at anytime and unsure when you'd be able to eat again.

His protectiveness gets cranked up to a 12+ with being around you. He becomes your shadow and isn't afraid to shut anyone down or hurt anyone that even TRIES to hurt you. The only ones allowed near you is Furina and Wriothesley. They were given a... rather strict warning. Especially Wriothesley.

Good luck even going to the bathroom or sleeping alone. At the bare minimum he lets you sleep at the end of the same bedroom. You also are forced to go with him everywhere (yes, even to the bathroom as well. It's very awkward to you)

He acts like at any moment any of the archons are going to try to come for you, and you wouldn't doubt he'd willingly die fighting them off if it came down to it.

Even when it eventually all blows over, his glare is darker and harsher than the abyss when the archons even try to come near you to apologize.

It becomes very suffocating, but you never get far from him having the Fontaine people on his side, and a much faster swimmer than you could ever be. He's also the fucking reincarnated sovereign of water. No way are you escaping that without some serious powers.

Besides, a part of you doesn't really want to, still traumatized how you were nearly murdered how many times? You lost count after the 600th attempt. A deep, rooted fear of them changing their mind and try to kill you again forms, making you latch more willingly onto Neuvillette and oddly enough Wriothesley.

Even when you see the disheartened glances from the archons and some of their people (such as Diluc and even Ninguang), you hide more behind Neuvillette from mistaking it as more hatred.

Neuvillette may be strict, but at least he does let you talk to some people. At least he doesn't fully lock you up. He also makes sure you get some sunlight.

...why does it still pour sometimes when he looks at your scars?

[lunar-serpentinite]

"harry wasnt that powerful, he literally only knew 3 spells and had a horcrux in him and he wouldnt have survived without-"

listen to me, LISTEN TO ME

the boy was in survival mode for literally all of his life. almost all of his defense teachers tried to kill him. he was more worried about surviving the next voldy jumpscare. his "mentor" was raising him to die.

do u think he had the time to learn and master an arsenal of spells when everyone who was meant to help him are either dead or keeping him in the dark ? do u think he had the time to train when hes getting into life or death scenarios practically every year ?

he was a growing teen who had to deal with a murderer going after him, a world who thinks hes just off his rockers, adults who rarely take him seriously, the natural hormonal teen years, and the typical fights between friends who have vastly different life experiences but arent emotionally mature enough to address those yet . i dont think he even had that much positive reinforcement from everyone around him

stop calling harry james potter a weakass fuckass just because he doesnt have a shiny arsenal of weapons and the mind of a master strategist . thats literally a child and then a teen who keeps on getting retraumatised over and over and over, and you keep on taking the piss on him because he doesnt react like a levelheaded YA protagonist who has everything under control ?

hes just a dude who had to practically raise himself, who tries his goddamn best but fucks up constantly and is always haunted by his fuckups, and who still manages to get the job done at the end

AND EVEN AFTER THAT the people still put more responsibilities on his shoulders like "he couldve redid society with his influence" "he couldve done this he couldve done that" "he couldve done more"

how much more of himself does he have to give before society is satisfied ? why cant the adults take charge for once and rebuild the system that THEY broke ? why's it all on harry's shoulders ALONE ?

"he couldve used his influence-" did u conveniently forget how the wizarding world showed him over and over how easily their views and treatment of him cld change at the flip of a coin ? do u think he'd trust them to listen to him after all this time ? NO

like i get it, "chosen ones" have the influence and the responsibility . "chosen ones" should be powerful and their skills and abilities varied by the end of the series . they could do more and many chosen ones have done more . but harry's just part of the subset of chosen ones that is just tired and beat down at the end of the it all .

idk give him a break, hop off his back, let him retire to the countryside

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

AkrhamKnight! Jason Todd

-----------------------------

Sensitive Topics: descriptions of a toxic relationship and mentions of physical abuse (none actually written)

AK! Jason Todd who you're not even sure what you have with. Every time you try to refer to him as your boyfriend or yourselves as together like you did before his death, he pulls away and gets defensive.

"There isn't an 'us,' sweetheart. I ain't letting shit from before that fucking clown got to me matter now."

But if you try to walk away from the situation or start talking to somebody else, he gets so incredibly jealous.

"Oh so you really need two guys' attention now? What a fucking whore..."

AK! Jason Todd who, if you couldn't tell by now, is so incredibly toxic in whatever situation you have. He cant stand to see you walk away but it kills you inside every time you come back to him and his baggage.

"Come one, sweetheart... It was just a mistake. We all make 'em, right? Don't you go leaving me over some petty shit like that."

AK! Jason Todd who absolutely loathes you going out at night. Even when he's there with you, it still puts him on edge to see you walking the cold, dark Gotham sidewalks when you could be safe in his apartment or the base instead.

AK! Jason Todd who just gets so mean with you for no reason. Well, not for little things like forgetting to pick up plastic wrap at the store or something. More like walking alone in Gotham without him knowing you were even gone. He hates the thought of something happening to his precious little thing.

AK! Jason Todd who would never physically harm you. Are insults thrown around like confetti? Absolutely! Is there a scream fight almost every week? You bet! But has he ever raised a finger against you? No. And he would never even think of it.

AK! Jason Todd who's absolutely pissed whenever somebody even looks at you for too long, nevermind making comments. You'd be surprised just how many of his soldiers he's gotten rid of just for telling him to "put his bitch in her place," or for telling you to "cover up, slut."

AK! Jason Todd who can't open up. He knows what he's doing is horrible. He knows that everything he does affects you in one way or another. But what about the horrible things other people have done? What about what the Joker did to him? What about Bruce letting the Joker roam free afterwards and replacing him with another goody two shoes? Jason wants to talk to you, he really does. But he just doesn't see how you or anybody, for that matter, coyld ever understand him or what he's been through.

AK! Jason Todd who found himself crying in the dark shadows of your shared apartment when Bruce first came along to stop his ridiculous plan to take over Gotham with Scarecrow's fear toxin. Jason loved Bruce. Bruce was his only family. But family means that nobody gets left behind and Bruce sure as hell broke that rule.

(This is actually kinda cannon: in Akrham Knight, one of the conversations you can overhear between a few of the gaurds mentions Jason crying after encountering Bruce for one of the first times)

AK! Jason Todd who truly does love you, in some way. He doesn't think he can be in love with you, but that doesnt makw him care about you any less. You're his person, and you've been there for him whether he likes it or not.

AK! Jason Todd who would absolutely lose it if anything were to ever happen to you. He never wants to see even a hair on your damn head hurt if he can help it. If one of his guards were to be responsible for an injury you sustained, they'd be out the door and probably six feet under in a heartbeat.

AK! Jason Todd who, no matter what your situation or relationship is like, refuses to let you see his chest. Yeah, his entire body is covered in scars, both from the Joker and other things he's experienced. But the 'Y' shaped scar on his chest is strictly off limits. If you were to ever accidentally brush your hand across it while laying with him or something, he wouldn't lash out, but he'd certainly guide your hand away by gently grasping your wrist.

AK! Jason Todd who never wants to see you involved with anything he does or his plans. He thinks that his activities are far too dangerous for you, even if you do happen to be somebody who's capeable of holding your own in combat or other high-stress situations.

-----------------------------

Masterlist

[empresskylo]

ghost headcanons?!! 🙏🥹

headcanons involve reader being referred to as "she" and afab.

♡ it took you a while to even realize simon was interested in you. the man does not communicate well. my guy would stare at you and you’d think he’s pissed off, but really he’s just trying to get your attention. he’d tease you during missions and you’d just assume he’s being kinda mean. he'd roll his eyes at stupid remarks you'd make, not knowing he was smiling under his mask. he seemed to avoid any direct training with you and you assumed he didn't think you worthy of his time, but really, he just wasn't sure what he'd do if he was forced to be that close to you... touching you.

♡ it isn’t until one day when you’re sparring with soap that ghost steps in. you’re busy tackling soap to the ground, both of you bursting out into a fit of giggles as you straddle him. when simon enters the room his fist automatically tightens. when soap looks up, he immediately stops laughing and shoves you off of him (affectionately). later that night, johnny approaches simon. “hey, Lt. just so you know, there’s nothing between me and—“ “why is that any of my business?” johnny looks at him, his eyebrows quirking upwards. “you know why.” simon grumbles something and storms off.

♡ the day you actually realize ghost likes you is when you’re walking around base in far less clothing than usual. Normally you were either all geared up, covered head to toe, or in a more relaxed sweat attire for relaxing around base. But today there was a heat wave. your hair was down, clinging to your face from the sweat, your abdomen exposed as you walked by him in a cropped tank, your small spandex shorts riding up. ghost did a double take. you teased him (not thinking anything of it; you would have teased any of the men.) “like what you see, Lt.?” ghost glared at you, unable to say anything. your eyes widened. shit, he actually did like what he was seeing.

♡ he is a very, very jealous man. he's not insecure or anything like that, he just can't help but seethe when he sees you acting a little too friendly with anyone else. he wants that side of you all to himself. he also can't stand watching other men come onto you, or acting a little too handsy. he's often ready to chop a man's hand off just for even thinking about flirting with you.

♡ one day as you're just strolling around base, heading to the gym for some training, gaz spied you, looking you up and down. he nudged ghost, who was standing beside him, in a check-her-out gesture; y’know, typical guy stuff. when gaz looked up, ghost was already glaring down at him, not nodding in agreement like he thought he would be. gaz choked, extremely uncomfortable under Lt.‘s death glare (no one likes when ghost had that fury in his eyes). “don’t look at her like that ever again.” gaz raised his hands, a bit panicked, not sure what he did wrong. “okay, shit.” “i’m serious, gaz. i will fucking kill you.” (always the dramatics with ghost.)

♡ you were rather close with soap, and so was simon, but it still bothered him seeing you two together. simon watched as your face visibly blushed at some remark soap made. that alone infuriated him. But then the two of you burst into giggles, your hand reaching out and grabbing soap’s forearm as you leaned forward, laughing. shortly after, you found your way to simon brooding in the corner. “what’s up your ass?” you asked teasingly, but simon wasn’t feeling the same humor as you were. “oh, i’m sorry,” he said with sarcasm, “should i be smiling and jumping up and down with joy as i watch my girlfriend’s face flush as she sits there giggling with another man?” you were surprised—not because simon was acting jealous, but because it was over soap of all people. you and simon both were friends with johnny. “simon…” you said breathlessly, getting him to look down at you, his eyes immediately softening as he looked at you. he sighed, “i know, i know,” he said raising his hands to rub the back of his head. “i just can’t help it. i hate seeing you respond to others like how you respond to me,” his hand came out and cupped your jaw, his thumb resting on your lower lip. “i jus' want you all to myself.”

♡ ghost is needy (-: he’s just a big brute of a man who likes leaning into your chest as you cradle his head, running you hands through his hair, relaxing him. nothing wrong with that.

♡ i mean, this man has some serious trauma, so it’s safe to say the first time you ever comforted him, he was… surprised. unsure of what to do or how to react. he wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction from you. and at first he was put off. he didn’t need that kind of coddling, he was supposed to be an anchor for you, not the other way around. but he succumbed to your soft touches and gentle words, eventually tearing up, hiding his face in the crook of your neck, your lap, or your chest while you would run fingers through his hair or rub his back, caressing him as much as you could. and eventually, that became something simon craved. sought out. dreamt about. god, he never would have thought he’d be the type of person who would seek out your comforting hugs, wanting to hold you close against his chest as your fingers danced across his skin. or when you’d lay next to him in bed, you’d stroke his jaw, run your thumb over his lips, rest your hands on his chest right above his heart, and simon would shut his eyes, feeling his own form of safety in your arms.

♡ and yes he loves to cuddle and hold you close, but sometimes it felt so fucking good to be held by you. if you were laying on the couch, he’d crawl on top of you, stopping to rest his head on your chest, his heavy body squishing you, his arms coming up to wrap around you as he lay on top of you, your hands twirling strands of his hair.

♡ but he also loved to hold you in his arms and comfort you. there was something so powerful in feeling needed by someone else. he both loved and hated it. but mostly loved it. he liked to be the big spoon, pulling you against his chest, curling into you, literally engulfing you. his favorite thing was when you would sit on his lap though. sometimes you'd lay in his lap, like if you were watching tv, and sometimes you'd come to him, straddle him, and he'd wrap his arms around you, letting you nuzzle into his neck while he traced circles on your back under your shirt.

♡ simon, as much as he attempts to act all stoic and emotionless, is actually very emotional and passionate.

♡ i mean, just by seeing how jealous he gets says a lot. but he also feels other strong emotions. like anger and love.

♡ when ghost realized he loved you, it ate him up from the inside. he had this burning, heady love for you and he didn’t know how to show it. everyone around him seemed capable of expressing their feelings, so why couldn’t he? he just wasn't used to it. he suppressed emotions close to him for so long, it was hard to let them back out again. he would usually profess his love for you when he's had too much to drink. or late at night while you were curled into him after a long mission. it was always after long and difficult missions that he wanted to tell you how he felt the most. he'd usually whisper it in your ear, reminding you how much he cares for you. you'd tell him that you're not going anywhere and simon would squeeze you tighter in response. just those few simple words meant so much to him. he couldn't stand the idea of losing you.

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐖

♡ size kink! size kink! size kink! he's very comfortable in his stature and he is so obsessed with being bigger than you. he loves how tiny your hands look in his. loves having to look down at you, especially when you're mad at him because having to look up at him made you feel silly while you were trying to yell at him. and his stupid smirk didn't help.

♡ and i'm just gonna say it, my guy has a big dick. like the energy matches what's in the pants. and he really enjoys watching you squirm under him while he bottoms out. it always takes a bit to fit him inside and he never gets over that. the way you whimper every fucking time drives him mad.

♡ praise kink!!!! yes sir. he loves to praise YOU. its his favorite thing. its so crazy to him that when he's balls deep inside you, his cute little comments about how good you feel or how pretty you are, makes you blush/get all shy. "you're being so good for me, baby." "god, you feel so fucking amazing." "you're so damn tight." "good girl." "just like that." "fuck, the sounds you're making are so hot." "i'm not gonna last much longer if you keep doin' that, love."

♡ he also likes to call you such cute pet names. it's a nice juxtaposition to the dark, rough exterior he presents. especially when he likes to tease and make crude jokes with the guys. but then he'll whisper something to you so no one else can hear and he'll call you 'princess.'

♡ his favorite names to call you: pet, princess, love, sweet girl!!!! god damn, just hearing his thick accent calling you those names has me swooning. his favorite to use while you're having sex is pet and sweet girl. "gimmie those eyes, sweet girl." "gettin' shy on me now, pet?" other names he likes to call you, just not as regularly: "baby, baby girl, little *insert cute animal here* (little fox, little dove, little doe), sunshine.

♡ he likes when you call him pet names even though he might pretend to hate it. loves specifically being called: my love, handsome, bear, cutie (he'll give you shit for this one, but he always has a shit-eating grin on under his mask when you call him that), big guy.

♡ he's dominant. like so dominant. he likes to be in control. he likes to watch you whither beneath him. he likes to know he's the one doing this to you. the only one. "tell me i'm the only- fuck -one. tell me I'm the only one who makes you come like this."

♡ enjoys missionary a lot because he can look at you in the eyes. he definitely likes to be making eye contact while he fucks you. which is super important to him, especially considering how fucked up his past is, he needs this kind of trust and closeness when he's fucking you.

♡ doggy style is fun, and his hands always leave bruises on your hips. but usually when he takes you from behind, you're both standing. that or he has you bent over something.

♡ he likes to fuck you from behind while standing, his hand gripped around your neck, pulling you up to him so he can see your face and kiss your neck.

♡ he is very much a tease. he likes to torture you all day, making you beg for it at the end of the night. you on your knees is his favorite sight. "tell me what you want, love." "you're gonna have to ask nicer than that." "beg for it."

♡ simon had you on your knees before him, your pants missing but your shirt still in place, your hands twisting the hem of it as you looked at him. his hand came out to stroke your chin, tilting it towards him as he rubbed his thumb along your lower lip. "what do you want from me, pet?" he asked, tilting his head as he appraised you. you gulped. "you." your words were whispered, a cynical smirk forming on simon's lips. "you're gonna have to be more specific than that." you were about to just demand he fuck you, you were getting so impatient, but you knew he only would if you asked sweetly. your face felt hot, shy all of a sudden. simon knew you got shy when he made you beg, and fucking hell, he loved seeing you like that. "i want you to fuck me, simon." he smiled, kicking up a brow. "please," you added. "well since you asked nicely," he said undoing his belt. "but first, you'll have to earn my cock." he lowered his pants and freed himself, his tip already glistening in precum. his hand slid down your jaw and pushed fallen strands of hair behind your ear. "open up that pretty little mouth of yours," he cooed.

[honeykaes]

do robots dream?

boothill x wife!reader II 3.4k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, fem!reader, heavy angst, major character deaths, creampie, praise, marking, call back to boothill’s story, gave a name to boothill’s adoptive daughter, also gave jade some fake lore, also gave boothill an apache name, mention of killing, unedited

synopsis: boothill’s luck ran out and he finds himself captured by jade and the IPC. jade can only smirk at the galaxy ranger, preparing his sentence in an unexpected way.

“Bullets may fly round, but I’ll lay down”

It seems like bad luck was something Boothill should have gotten used to but wasn’t. 

His arms were suspended, and locked shut, keeping him vulnerable in whatever lab he was in.

He grinded his steel-sharpened teeth. He shifted his wrist to see if he could break against the clamps of his imprisoned arms. He sighed, thankful his hat was still on his head to cover his expression.

Boothill didn’t know how long he'd been in there. It was supposed to be a simple job, nicking one, silly IPC worker who made their way on a hitlist. Before he had the opportunity to pull his gun out, he was surrounded shooting electricity into him before his robotic body gave out momentarily.

This stupid cold, robotic body of his.

His ears perked up hearing shoes click along the ground. He chuckled already, knowing the one woman who would love to serve his head on a platter. Boothill lifted his head, eyes calibrating as his target-assist eye focused on the woman’s face as it flashed red. She had a smirk on her pale face, cigarette holder dancing slightly at the mused strumming of the Heartstone member. 

 She leaned in close, blowing the smoke over his face.

”Did I catch you at a bad time, space ranger?” she cooed. Boothill scoffed before his lips tugged in a cruel smile.

”No no, course’ not. Please go on. Each time you piss me off, I’ll just have another bullet to lodge between that wide forehead you got,” he replied. Jade simply chuckled, leaning away.

”How many am I at now?” she asked, amused at his threat.

”30,” he grunted.

Jade sighed, her finger grazing the cold metal arms restricted in the air. He couldn’t truly feel it, as if it were a faint glimpse his mind was giving him of the time he did have skin, but he couldn’t help balling his fist up having that woman touch him.

”It is such a shame you had to be such a pain for the IPC. You would’ve made a wonderful member,” she chimed, gazing at the various metalwork that made up his body. Boothill rolled his eyes, scoffing.

”You destroyed my planet. Killed my daughter. And killed my fudgin’ wife. On top of making me into this. You’d be bat crap if you even think I would’ve considered it,” he barked back.

“Well you’re alive now, aren’t you? Shouldn’t that be a blessing for our dear Amber Lord,” Jade shrugged, taking a huff of her cigarette. 

Boothill scoffed again at her laissez-faire attitude. That was the issue with all these IPC members. They didn’t even see the hurt they would cause people. It was always profits over people with these guys.

“Seeing those mushroom clouds cover everything I cared about and loved, is a blessing now? Maybe I should find the people you care about and do the same, huh?” Boothill murmured.

Jade remained stoic, that smirk still on her face. Boothill flashed a toothy smile, extending his neck as much as he could.

”Huh, Eve? Would your two boys Cain and Abel like to meet a space ranger in the flesh,” he patronized before he roared in laughter.

”Oh wait, I forgot. One killed the other one, right? And the other killed himself out of guilt huh? Lovely family I suppose, besides being cursed with your genes,” he cruelly laughed. He had remembered when he stumbled on the information typically locked tight. He may not do much physically, but at least he could relish in the mental games with this snake.

A flash of anger erupted in Jade’s pale blue eyes, before she closed them, trying to compose herself.

”It seems that we underestimated your intelligence,” she murmured. Boothill hooted before laughing.

”Intelligence? Sister, I ain’t very bright. But when it comes to dealing out debts….” he murmured. His face soon darkened, target dart flashing in his bloodthirsty eyes again 

“Trust and believe me, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure folks get what they’re owed,” he threatened. Jade turned around from this gaze, tapping her foot on the ground.

”And that’s the problem with you. You won’t stop until everyone else is dead. So, the Heartstones, on behalf of Diamond, were tasked to reign you in. It’s for the prosperity of the IPC you see,” she revealed. Boothill rolled his eyes. 

“What? Kill me? Decommission me? For all I care, use me up for scrapes. But whatever comes next, I’m going to drag y’all down with me,” Boothill yelled, with a crazed smile.

Jade turned her head to him, her sly smile appearing once more.

”You don’t fear death? What about the dead?” she asked. Boothill furrowed his brow. He didn’t know what he was getting out. There was nothing in his life that they had leverage over him. He purposefully had no ties.

”Why the fudge, would I?” he grumbled.

Jade turned her whole body to face him before Boothill’s eyes widened feeling something slither in against one of his inputs, in snap into one of the units as his eyes flashed with colors and binary he didn’t understand.

”The fudge is this! Huh? Woman?! What are you doin’ to me!” he shouted. Jade smiles as Boothill struggles to keep his gaze on her as pop-ups on his system interrupt his visuals. She walks over, digging her lit cigarette into his once gleaming metal chest.

”Achieving your wish of course. Night, night, ​​Káh Dił’tush.”

Boothill grumbled hearing the faint voice of yelling as his head pounded. He clamped his eyes tighter, massaging his forehead. The noise continued to remain loud as muffled laughter followed

“Who the fuck is making all the noise…” he grumbled. His eyes opened, trying to adjust the light of the room. He could barely see still. He covered his eyes, trying to navigate the room and his pounding headache. All he knew was he was in some wooden shack.

He got up from behind, trudging towards the location of all the noise. He squinted his eyes, leaving the room and heading to the hallway. Something felt eerily familiar about this place, vision still splotchy. It was as if his body even knew where to go.

”Someone needs to shut all the fucking yappin’. It’s too damn early for this noise!” he yelled, rubbing his eyes. A younger voice gasped, as an older one scoffed.

”Káh! What did I tell you about cursing in front of your daughter!” a familiar voice roared back. Boothill clicked his tongue, unamused.

”Daughter? I ain’t got no daughter and I can’t curse anyway from that stupid censor—” once his eyes adjusted once more, his heart fell to his chest. He saw his adoptive daughter, gazing up at him with curious eyes. 

His wife stood there, arms fashioned on her hips with a spatula in hand.

”No daughter? So who is she then? The person we have been raising for 5 years now? Hm?,” you asked sarcastically. “What I don’t want to happen is that she catches her daddy’s bad habits and ends up cursing up a storm too.”

You sighed, massaging your furrowed brow.

”Look, honey, I know you’re tired and all and were patrolling yesterday but this ain’t it. Especially when I’m cooking your ass breakfast with our daughter,” you grunted. Aaboli looked up at you with a smile.

”You said ass,” Aaboli cheered. You sighed and turned around cursing and noticing you’d burn the bacon.

”Crap! Aaboli, sweetie, go take care of the grits. This batch is too bad,” you sighed. Your eyes flickered in anger momentarily as you pointed your spatula at Boothill.

”And you! Go in the bathroom and fix yourself up. You got drool all over the side of your face,” you huffed. Your daughter giggled pointing at him before she went to work on the grits.

Boothill’s gaze focused on you two working on breakfast as if his feet were cemented to the ground. How was this happening? How was he back here? Was this a dream? A memory.

He sucked a breath in, pressing his head to his forehead as a sharp pain erupted. 

Every time he tried to think about what he was doing before, he’d get a killer headache that won’t go away until he stopped thinking about it.

”Don’t stand there sulking because you were scolded. Hurry up and clean yourself up. Breakfast is ready and Aaboli has school today anyway,” you called out.

”Gonna get all smart and help you patrol the town one day, daddy!” Aaboli chimed. 

He forced himself to turn away from their bodies and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door tight. He turned the faucet on, water pouring out of his before flashing on his face.

”Get a grip. Get a fucking…”

Boothill paused, realizing you were right, he could properly curse now. No goofy censors were prohibiting it now. He looked up at the mirror, pressing his hand against his face.

His skin was as brown as mocha again, teeth normal and white, eyes brown with no weird codes analyzing or doing whatever in his vision again.

He could feel his fingers, calloused from doing work and riding his horse. His hand made its way to his bare chest, pressing hard at the warm skin. He could feel his heart. An actual heart beating and pumping blood.

He was himself again.

He was Káh Dił’tush, not the galaxy ranger, Boothill

Boothill had the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. He almost forgot how he looked before he was robotized. He wiped a lone tear threatening to cascade down his cheeks before he touched his long hair, without any white streaks from the stress of that damn experiment.

He slowly began to braid it, before he walked out.

He had heard the front door close, and you grumbling under your breath before your eyes made contact with his.

“A half hour…? Took you that long, really? You know how much convincing Aaboli needed to head off to school without you being there to see her off too!” you scolded. 

Boothill smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist. You rolled your eyes, trying to fight the smile on your lips.

”I’m sorry darlin’. I had a weird dream. When I woke up, I thought I was still dreaming…” he lied. You clicked your tongue feeling his hands move up from under your shirt, feeling that warm of your skin again.

God, he missed it.

”You’re gonna need more than that for me to forgive you for acting like an asshole this morning. Wasting my food, scaring Aaboli with all that yellin’,” you murmured, feeling Boothill press his face against the nape of your neck.

He could feel your heartbeat again, warm, and strong. He pressed his lips on the artery letting it pulsate against it. You chuckled at the sensation.

”Insatiable… What are you up to now?” you asked. 

Boothill leaned away and kissed you. He couldn’t help savoring the way your lips molded onto his. His thumbs pinched against your hips as you began to chuckle.

”I shouldn’t be giving into this from how you were behaving earlier,” you murmured, leaning your head away. You pressed your hand against his cheek, as his gaze softened.

”You’re lucky you got a pretty face, cowboy,” you murmured. Boothill grinned before lifting you on top of the wooden counter.

”You’re right. I am a lucky guy,” he murmured, kissing you once more.

His hand wandered beneath your long dress, cupping your sex as a moan broke the kiss with him. He could feel your panties dampen from his touch, watching your hips shift and grind.

”And you called me the eager one”

”Oh shut up you!”

His name breathlessly escaped your lips, feeling the flat of his thumb press against your clit, rubbing small and deliberate circles on your clothed clit. He moved his head against, toward the nape of your nape, peppering kissing along the sensitive skin; however against your pulse now and again.

Boothill soon tugged on the panties clinging onto your cunt, and slick with your essence, slowly riding them down your legs and tossing them to the side.

His thumb pressed against the bundle of nerves, the digit vibrating friskily as it flicked it. You wrapped your arms around him, clinging onto him tighter as you ground against his touch once more. You gasped feeling his digits beginning prodding at your entrance, spoon dipping themselves into your velvety insides.

Another gasp escaped your lips feeling his digits curl inside of you, continuously pumping.

“Ah, fuck…ah!” you called out as his tempo began to rise. Your nails harpoon against his back, beginning to scrape down as Boothill grins. He could feel the sharpness of proper pain again. Your touch. Your warm skin against him. Your breathy moans by his ear caused goosebumps to erupt throughout his body.

He didn’t realize how much he missed this.

You cursed loudly as your leg squeezed against your arms, back arching and reaching your high. He continued to pump his two fingers, riding your high out until you whined from the sensitivity of your burning clit. He moved up from his position of your nap, admiring the red blotches he had made on your skin.

A remnant that he was there. You looked tired, eyes half-lidded as you looked at him.

”Fuck, ​​Káh…I don’t know the last time I came that hard,” you admitted. Boothill whistled and smirked.

”That seemed like a backhanded compliment darlin’,” he replied. You gave him a look, and he couldn’t help but smile. It was always this unamused look you gave him whenever he was right about something but you didn’t want to admit it because of your stubbornness.

Annoying at times, but a trait he found endearing all the same.

You slightly jolted, feeling his fingers slide out of you as he lapped up the taste of them.

”Shit might just be better than breakfast,” he joked. You rolled your eyes, unimpressed.

”You didn’t even eat, Káh,” you barked. Boothill chuckled regardless.

”Yeah, yeah…” he murmured. He pulled his pajama bottoms down, revealing his aching cock. He might’ve not admitted this out loud, but he did miss his manhood. His brown tip nudged against your slit, tapping against your overstimulated clit as you sucked a sharp breath in. 

”Quit teasing me already!” you grumbled.

The tip of his cock nudged against your overly clit one last time before he finally slid back down and began to slowly sink his cock inside of you.

As he reached deeper inside of you, his grip on your thigh grew, fighting the urge to succumb to his urges right then and there and spill instead of you.

With a grunt, he finally bottoms out before lifting your dress to see how much his cock disappeared instead of you. Moving his hands to part of the globes of your ass, he slid out before jetting his hips back into you, cock pumping inside of you.

He watched your puffy folds, gleam in your arousal as his cock glistened in the fluid as well. You grabbed one of your breasts, squeezing the mound as his pace grew faster. His eyes lapped up the way your body rippled to the beat of his rhyme.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, allowing him to plunge even deeper inside you as you pressed your forehead against his.

”That’s it, that’s my good girl. Go’on. Show me how good you're taking me,” he huffed, with a grin. His pace grew as his blunt nails dug into your thighs, trying to ground you as your body squirmed against his touch.

”Fuck…fuck…!” you cursed, voice raising octaves in pitch. Boothill pressed his lips against your own, muffling your loudest moan as his tip brushed past the spongy spot inside of you repeatedly. 

Your walls fluttered down— signaling your climax—as your eyes shut tight. You shivered in pleasure as Boothill continued to plow instead of you. 

His hips finally bucked, as a throaty grunt wavered in your ear. Ropes of warm, thick cum shot inside of you as Boothill’s hips slowly jerked, coming down from his high. You leaned over kissing him as he closed his eyes, savoring the feeling.

”I love you. I feel like I don’t tell you that enough,” Boothill admitted. Your gaze softened, brushing a bit of his hair that clung onto his sweaty forehead.

”You don’t need to. I know you do,” you whispered, moving gently to kiss his eyelids. Boothill slid out of your cunt, momentarily admiring the cum leaking out of you. He tucked his softening cock back into his pajamas and moved the bottoms back on his waist properly.

Just as you were about to jump down from the counter, Boothall patted your thigh in defiance.

“Nah, let me clean you up. It’s the least I can do for pouncin’ on you so early,” he murmured. You simply smiled and leaned against the wall as he walked over to the bathroom to get a rag. He quickly came back with it, moving to wipe you down.

”Thank you. Now, for your actual penance, you’ll need to clean the kitchen up after you eat your cold ass food. When you’re done let me know. Maybe we can go to the market and pick up some stuff for dinner.”

Boothill, grabbed your waist to help you down from the counter, smoothing your dress down too.

”Any bit of time with my girls is good. Plus I’m going to have to get something nice as an apology to Aaboli,” he chimed, wrapping his arms around you once more. You quirked your eyebrow up, he knew you were silently wondering why he was so clingy, but he didn’t care.

Whatever miracle this was, he wasn't going to pass this up.

”You sure are. That girl is more like you than you realize.”

Jade smiled as she petted her snake's head with a smile, before hearing a knock at the door.

”Come in,” she called out, not paying much mind. One of her underlings hesitantly opened the door, shyly looking down as they approached her.

”Lady Jade. I have a few concerns about the Boothill project…” the worker admitted.

”Oh? Do explain” Jade smiled, leaning up from her position. The snake slithered, soon making its way to her chair as it wrapped around her shoulders. The worker gulped loudly, slightly shaking as her eyes fell slowly on them.

“How is making a virtual world where he is back with his wife and kid a punishment? That seems like we’re giving him peace than the payback he deserved,” the worker chimed.

There was a pause as Jade’s eyes sized up the lowly worker. The worker yelped and looked back down on the floor.

”A-Apologizes for speaking out of turn. I-I just want to make sure he suffers for his crimes, is all,” they stammered. Jade sighed, smiling.

”Don’t worry, he is. The program we have him in will slowly build down his defenses as our researchers study him, his body, and where we went wrong,” she revealed getting up from her seat. The snake hissed at the worker as they jumped in fear.

She walked up to the worker, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Once that is done, bit by bit will be pulled away from his body, until he can’t properly function anymore and dies. We had a feeling if we didn’t do this, his system would attempt to attack us in some way,” Jade revealed.

 The worker gapped loudly, trying to sputter a response.

”W-What?! How is that possible?” they asked. Jade laughed loudly in amusement. She witnessed firsthand the galaxy ranger’s scroll slowly morphing into a peaceful expression. 

”We already detected a dirty bomb inside of him. I’m sure he was prepared to blow himself up and take me down along with this ship. But he was foiled,” she chimed, beginning to walk by the door, opening it once more.

The worker turned around as she waved her hand, to signal them to leave.

”He wanted his wife and kid so badly, and now he’s with them. Just as hatred clouds the system, love can do the same.”

“I feel safe and sound, on solid ground.”

[simpjaes]

enha is desperate horny losers 🔛🔝

i know you probably didn't ask for this but idc

hyung line being desperate and horny

warnings: one mention of piss, virginity loss, mdni

★ heeseung:

sure, he can be desperate. an utter mess, really. eyes empty, cock so fucking hard just looking at you anytime you're around him. as if you don't know he wants you, him knowing you fucking do.

you tease him so aggressively and it pisses him off knowing he can't have you. he's not allowed, or some shit. fuck bro code. he could give less of a fuck that you belong to sunghoon right now, by next week it'll probably be some loser like jake or something.

never him though, for some reason.

he's so tired of going home all alone, fucking his fist right up against his apartment door because he can't manage to make it to his own bedroom before needing the touch. so desperate for you. so goddamn horny out of his mind that he genuinely thinks he might just fucking kill himself if you don't spread your legs for him for real within the next three minutes.

always trying to lure you, always always always wanting you to break before he does. after all, anyone can see you want him too. you just like to play games and he's sick of it. perhaps he's willing to lose this time, if just to get your legs spread around him.

it wouldn't really be a surprise to you by the time you make your way to his place yet again, in that same outfit that you know drives him up a wall. you know you're walking into a lion's den when you step inside. he's already hard, staring at you with narrowed eyes.

"you know exactly what you're doing walking through my door dressed like that." he'd comment. "you think i won't do it, don't you?"

you'd laugh. you'd brush him off. you'd ignore every passing comment thinking you can still tease him, thinking you can still walk away like you're doing nothing to him at all.

it's not a game to him at this point though, because he made himself very clear throughout the day with little comments. little aggressive touches. little degrading remarks. and by the time you think you're safe to leave? oh, no no.

"where do you think you're going?" you'd hear him rush up behind you. "i told you."

he did tell you, and you still stayed.

"Sunghoon's going to kick your ass for acting like this, you know."

"Still trying to make fucking jokes?" He'd rumble the words in a tight voice, slipping his hand straight between your legs from behind and feeling the mess you hide from him time and time again.

"You always this soaked for me or did you just piss yourself in my kitchen?"

"Sunghoon-"

"Fuck Sunghoon." He'd say as if it's the last words you'll ever hear. "This-" he grabs your cunt, his fingers pressing your panties into your hole. "is for me, isn't it?"

☆ jay:

it's not even embarrassing anymore. with the way you know jay wants you and you still pretend like he doesn't. like this friendship is normal and not at all filled with an immense amount of sexual tension.

like you didn't makeout with him at jake's party last weekend, whispering drunken words over what you'd let him do to you.

honestly, it wasn't anything more than a simple friendship before that happened. he isn't sure whether to curse the strong drink or thank it.

you've acted like it never happened since that night but he, oh, he can't stop fucking thinking about those filthy words you whispered up against his ear. "come on, jay, all those study sessions? i keep my legs spread just enough for you to slip your fingers down-" and "could take me to the bathroom right now and do whatever you want."

he's pissed that he didn't do it. then again, you were drunk and so was he. he probably wouldn't have been able to make his way to the bathroom that night without crashing his head through a wall, in all honesty.

oh, but now. as he sits during another study session with you plus two other people who could give less of a shit. you were right in saying you always keep your legs spread for him. he never noticed it too often before, but considering he can feel your thigh pressing against him? maybe you really do want him to slip his hand down. maybe you really do want his fingers.

goddamn.

he hasn't gotten his dick wet in months.

still, you act like what you said at that party never happened at any other time. still, you sit like you hope he remembers it. and, well, he's desperate enough at this point to at least try. right there in front of the group.

his hand slips to your thigh, and his brain is no longer focused on formulas. instead, he's entirely in his head about the little shocked jolt your body does in response. he almost pulls his hand back but he can fucking feel your skin prickle under his palm. it's enough to keep his hand there, petting up, up, up.

his hands are shaking when he looks at you, cock twitching and weak in his pants just like his brain every time you make eye contact with him. you spread your legs a little more as he looks at you, urging him to keep going. unfortunately, the poor guy looks like he's holding back due to the, uh, situation regarding the two other friends in the room.

you're quick to jump up on your feet. fucking finally he's picked up the hints.

"i'm going to the bathroom." you say as you lay a hand on his shoulder, only directing the words towards him at first before looking up to your unsuspecting study group.

jay isn't going crazy right? that's an invitation, right?

and, well, he doesn't fucking care at this point to make himself look a fool. he stands up before you even close the bathroom door and dead-pans at the poor souls about to hear him lose his goddamn mind on you.

"I'm gonna, uh, you know-" he starts, pointing his thumb to the bathroom and watching the curious onlookers swap their faces to something that is...knowing.

"yeah." he admits now, standing with a proud hard-on and rushing his way straight the bathroom and opening the door.

There you are, already up on the counter with your pants fucking gone. He's so fast to slot himself between your legs, not thinking twice before attaching his lips to you in a desperate attempt to quiet his thoughts.

"took you long enough," you'd chuckle into his lips, feeling his desperate hands fucking tear your panties off of you before sliding in without so much as a moment of foreplay.

you both were anticipating this though. and god, did the wait make it feel so much better.

★sunghoon:

sunghoon will never defeat the allegations of being "too polite". which fucking sucks because no girl will come for him unless they're looking to get married within the next six months.

god, it's such a fucking issue. his scene isn't exactly to go out and hunt for girls to fuck but at this point he might just have to. fuck all those people who talk so highly of him. (literally, if he could at this point.)

"oh! sunghoon is such a good guy! he'd be the perfect boyfriend!"

"don't even waste your time trying to sleep with sunghoon, he's too serious to play around like that."

"he's too nice to fuck you the way you want, really, go for someone like heeseung."

because of all that praise towards him, he hasn't gotten laid in close to a year. no party he's attended has yielded results, no study sessions with pretty girls even when he tries to make a move, no pussy is willing to spread for a man who seemingly would treat it right.

fucking rude.

"jay, please."

the roommate rolls his eyes, grimacing at the very idea.

"why her?" jay shoots back, holding his phone so tightly, all while sunghoon grips his wrist as if he's gonna rip it clean off his body.

he needs that fucking phone.

"you said she was a real slut, i need this. please. I won't even clean her up after."

jay can see the desperation in his eyes, though he didn't entirely need to considering his roommate has been parading around with a desperate boner for the better part of six months.

"she's my ex girlfriend." jay scolds, ripping himself from sunghoon's grasp.

"exactly!" he shouts back, trying to plead his case. "she had like, what? six dicks not including yours when she was with you? why can't I just-"

"what makes you think i'd help you now after saying that?" jay rolls his eyes again, but he knows well enough how it feels to have heavy balls and no girl to empty them into. "anyone but her."

sunghoon's eyes light up when he looks at his friend, and it's not even a full ten minutes later before he's got a list of potential fucks recommended by jay himself. sunghoong does have to ignore the hateful looks after the fact, but decides he'll just apologize later for...you know, trying to go for jay's ex.

why he didn't do this sooner though? well, he really thought he'd be able to get some girls to come to bed with him on his own by now, unfortunately, he's grown far too pathetic to keep trying on his own.

jay's truly a great friend. just yesterday sunghoon was jerking off a solid eight times just to satiate the need and now he's got four of the six girls texting him back.

god, he was so gross about it too. barely even introduced himself, just sent a selfie and a small line of "been looking for a pretty girl to hang out with, jay say you might be interested."

going from 0 choices to 4 choices felt insane, honestly. sunghoon nearly cums in his pants at getting a "yes" from the prettiest one. and it only took an hour for him to hear jay greet you awkwardly. like he didn't have his dick in you just last week.

and goddamn is it great for him. he barely lets you into his room before his hands are just fucking....going. straight up your shirt, his lips go straight to your neck, cock immediately on your thigh and pulsing.

you're not too upset about it, really. you both knew what this was gonna be, and there was a reason you didn't wear panties. then again, who would? you saw his selfie, that alone was enough to get you to meet him pretty much anywhere.

and that desperation in him really showed. it bubbled up in the form of frantic, hard, fast thrusts. he chased and chased the pleasure, not at all giving you much love through it. not that you needed it, the guy gives good dick. It's all you can really ask for during a hookup.

and he keeps going, and going. so much cum to give, so much stamina. to the point that after the second session of sex, he starts to feel more like himself.

the sex gets better, less frantic, and he's more careful about how he's already made you sore. his hands are softer, he starts talking, he starts playing with you, appreciating you for letting him use you previously.

and by the next morning, not getting a single second of sleep, you're shocked when he asks for your number. you're even more shocked when he texts you later that day with more appreciation, asking to go to fucking lunch.

and that's when sunghoon realizes all those nice rumors about him are fucking true. because why the fuck does he want to make you his girlfriend without so much as learning your favorite color?

☆ jake:

jake loves you. he loves you so, so much. your virginity was never an issue, truly it wasn't.

emphasis on wasn't.

when he asked you to be his some two years ago, it wasn't an issue. a year into the relationship, it got a little difficult but he communicated that to you well enough. to the point that you were more than happy to compromise and offer a little bit of something to him. you got plenty out of it too, of course.

so, for a year now he's been surviving off of dry humping. that's it. just...grinding, humping, and messy jeans. time and time again, he knows it's all he's gonna get but fucking hell you're so...

god, you make him so horny. and perhaps you being just out of reach sexually only amplifies that but he can't help it at this point. sure, he cums every time you guys start grinding and kissing but more often than not you'll find him secretly in your bathroom shortly after with wet palms trying to stimulate himself in a way that he really needs.

in a way where he isn't rubbed raw and in pain the next morning.

he doesn't want to push. he won't push you. after all, you said you'd tell him when you're ready.

at this point, as he sits in his room sliding his palm up and down his sore length, he's unsure if you'll ever be ready and he's faced with the fact that he isn't sure if he can spend his life with someone who would never want him to-

his eyes roll back at the thought of all the things he'd like to do with you. for you. fuck, you'd look so pretty getting off. and it's the fact that even as he lays here thinking of you like this, he can't imagine what your tits would look like because he hasn't fucking seen them. he can't imagine what your pussy would feel like because he's only ever felt it over a thick layer of pants.

have you ever even gotten wet? if you had, he's sure you would've wanted it by now.

and so, he cums like that. very very upset. a very bad orgasm. one that didn't satisfy him in the slightest and one that definitely won't help him last through this fucking sleepover he has with you tonight.

he's unfortunately right about it too. because not even an hour passes before his cock is leaking against his pants and he's having to keep from moaning just from a simple shift of his leg as he walks around your apartment.

you note his difficulty in being around you today, and you're very aware of his hard on.

"jake, do you want me to sit on y-"

he groans before you can even finish asking. the sound is more frustrated than he's ever sounded towards you and it kinda...makes you feel bad. mostly because it's not like you don't think about it. you very much want to experience your first time with him. unfortunately, you've kind of had it hammered into your head that sex=bad. so, you've been a little afraid of it. though, after all the dry humping and stuff, orgasms aren't....so bad.

they're great, actually.

"no." jake answers you shortly, avoiding eye contact with you probably to keep his own sanity as he flops down on your couch. "i just need to cool down."

you walk over to him, unaware of how literally anything you do makes him want to push you to the floor and just fucking........take it.

"jake, you know you can ask. just let me sit on it." you offer, trying to straddle his lap for another session of not-enough.

"no, no." he pushes you away from him, moaning at the small pressure you did manage to press against him. "i think i just need, like, more than that right now. i'm gonna go to the bathroom."

and he does. he doesn't even kiss you before he stands up and makes his way in there. his tone sounds so focused on something that isn't you that it actually kind of hurts.

and this whole time you know he masturbates but you're never aware that he does it when you're here. he blatantly admitted to needing to go do it himself instead of letting you??? what the fuck??

and it kinda clicks in your head that like.....why is it that the fear of all that sex suddenly disappears when you think about the jake is probably going fucking insane right now? he's possibly losing interest in you, even. oh my god, what if he's going to go find someone else that'll ....

you rush to the bathroom, finding the door locked. you press your ear against it, feeling a pang of jealousy over nothing more than his own hand.

you hear the slapping of it, his palm hitting the base at a frantic and desperate pace.

you knock once. "jake?"

you hear him moan, the slapping only intensifying.

"jake, open the door. please?"

and he doesnt. he finishes before he even considers looking at you again, more for your own safety at that point rather than his own sanity. after all, had you of walked in and looked at him in the midst of a lust-stupor...well...

anyway, he opens the door and looks at you out of breath. instantly that softness is back in his eyes and you're already aware that it's time for a fucking talk. a make it or break it talk.

and hours pass as you talk. you explain, he explains, and you come to realize that jake truly is a person willing to do just about anything for you. he'd suffer for you, he'd lock himself in the bathroom just to cum so he doesn't have to ask you over and over again, just so he doesn't have to beg you or guilt you.

that's all it took really, to want to give him everything he needs too. two years of close to nothing and you never once realized how badly he needed it until now?

and the fear isn't there when it's with him. you see him struggle with his control when he finally sees your naked skin for the first time. you know he wants to go fucking insane on you but he knows he can't.

and he doesn't. he shows you that all those fears were useless. nothing hurts. his fingers are soft on you, in you. his tongue is warm and loving when he uses it all over you. and even when he slides into you for the first time, he contains himself. shushing you, letting you adjust, and then not needing to lose his mind because you do it for him.

working him about as quickly as he would have for you, never once did you realize how much you needed to feel full while enveloped in his arms. he just let you too, sliding back and forth, wiggling around on his cock with no rhyme or reason to how you move.

it feels so fucking good for him. to see you, feel you, watch you, fuck you. god, if he knew just this morning that this is what he was missing?? on god he would have had to tie himself up to just keep you safe from the lust that would've poured from his soul.

thankfully, he doesn't need to be tied down now. not with your legs practically doing it already, moaning for him, asking him for more.

he loves the words he truly thought he'd never be able to hear you say. honestly, all he can do is let you go insane, as if you've been the one needing this for the past two years. after all, now that it's happening, he's sure he'll have you like this again if the way you move your body on him is anything to go by.

[snakewithawitchhat]

Bill Headcanons

I have enough of these to fill up my guts whatever that means

Includes: Normal, readerxbill platonic, readerxbill romantic, freaky stuff he into

Normal

He definitely said skibidi once because he had no idea what it meant or where it came from

He would probably honest to god enjoy interacting with an iPad kid because he thinks they're fucking funny

Tea person over coffee

Probably reads books on the randomest subjects. Mostly they all have human psychology in common, though. Or anatomy.

His favorite kids movie is Wreck It Ralph, favorite adult movie is Shawn of The Dead (He doesn't believe British people are actually real and finds the movie funny), favorite horror movie is probably something really obscure and is just plain goreporn or something like that.

(In my opinion) I feel like if he had a more anthropomorphic form (legs and arms and body) it would probably be something VERY weird core or something like that. Like, extra limbs, weird ass colors, and random effects. He'd probably keep the triangle imagery, though.

Would definitely just say random ass shit to freak people out

He has a thing for teeth. Not, like, a weird thing or a sex thing. He just really thinks they're cool.

If he had an iPad... he'd spend all day either being your standard reddit user or an iPad kid.

Probably like King from The Owl House sometimes.

Speaking of TOH, he met The Collector once. He thought the kid was neat and played a few games of chess with him before leaving. Probably one of the inspirations for The Collector's insaneness

He also met The Core from Amphibia. Or at least knew the core existed.

His favorite human color is either red, yellow, or orange. It's really everything on the hot side of the color wheel tbh.

Platonic X reader

Dream invasion time-- He would SO rummage through your mind if you made a deal with him.

If you pissed him off, he'd probably jab a fork in your arm while possessing you. He wouldn't be as insane as he was with Stanford's body, though. He wants yours to work properly.

Dream demon or not, he probably had a Drea- NIGHTMARE... it was SO a nightmare... about having more fun with you if you built the portal.

Would be touchy. Not in a weird way (if you ask, he'll stop) but he'll just, like, pat your shoulder or something like that.

If Weirdmageddon 2 happens he is SO finding you and inviting you to his party. You're coming, too. You don't got a choice. Womp womp.

If one of his friends were to eat you, he'd probably be disappointed as all hell, but it really depends on how close you are with him. Besties? He'd kill that monster and resurrect you with the parts left. Just acquaintances? Who are you again?

Would still possess you even after he gets a physical form. (he likes to prank you)

Romantic X reader

Clingy bastard. If your insert is mortal, he'll be by your side 24/7 if Weirdmageddon is happening. Even if your insert ISN'T mortal.

Would be even MORE touchy.

He'd set up boundaries and be clear with his own while probably ignoring yours. (he isn't a great partner)

It's probably a toxic one-sided relationship at first. Bill is NOT a good person at ALL. He always had a goal in mind. He sees his romantic interest of you as a little thing that just ALSO happened.

Probably gets flustered by affection really easily if you're the one showing it.

He won't know much about human affections, so you'll probably have to show him the ropes.

Before you do THAT, though, he'll probably just bite you (with his freaky fucking eyeball mouth thing). Not even as a sexual or possessive thing. He just likes to bite you. It's like an awkward thing he can't control. Get too close and he can feel your warmth? Bite. Bite. BITE. It's not light stuff, though. It's always hard enough to draw blood. Purposeful or not. (It's not on purpose)

He doesn't get JEALOUS, but he does get a little insecure if you start getting infatuated with someone else.

If you're hurt from someone, you BEST know he's overprotective as fuck. Your puny mortal body is pathetic, but if you lose it, he loses you, too.

You aren't aging ever again. You aren't DYING ever again. No. He won't let you die ever. Body is giving out? Here's a new one. Forgetting...? No, he'll plant more memories in your mind. He's too late and you're dead...? No you aren't... You'll always be conscious. Whether your body is rotting around your mind or not.

Sex junk

Sadist. 100% all the way. Not even light things, like slaps. No, if you consent, he will full on break your bones.

He doesn't feel sexual gratification like humans do, so it's more of just something he'll do to either please or displease you. Whichever one, it's almost always about how you feel.

He doesn't have a dick, so you'll be on the receiving end always. Unless you REALLY want to give.

He has a giant eyeball on him. He definitely likes to watch.

Always tops because there isn't much you can do to dominate him. He'll try to let you if you really wanna, but it probably won't be the easiest.

Blood kink. That's it. He thinks it's so pretty on you. Especially if it's yours.

[stxrr-strxckk]

Thinking about work rivals to lovers with Carmy...

You don't know how the hell you got here. A few months ago, you were fresh out of culinary school, and now you're working at a fancy New York restaurant with not one- not two- but three Michelin stars?

Sure, you didn't have the most important job- you were just staging. That's basically a glorified intern, but still with the shit pay. A normal day on the job consisted of shadowing a team of people so in synch it was like they were one big machine. You being there was a cog in the gears.

None of the chefs wanted you there, and you could tell. Some hid it better than others, but you could see it in their eyes. They saw you as less than. A worm they could crush with the heel of their shoe without giving it a second thought.

They weren't outright mean to you, of course, but there was always something- a little slip up, a break in the mask of professionalism that would show how they really felt about you. A single eye roll, a sneer, maybe a scoff or sarcastic remark behind your back that they thought you couldn't hear- but you were always listening. Always.

It honestly pissed you off. Why spend so much time beating around the bush, acting like everything was fine? If they really had such an issue with you being there, they might as well just say it to your face. Still, none had the guts to actually do it.

None, except Carmen fucking Berzatto.

No one in that damn kitchen hated you more than that curly-haired bastard. To be fair, he was like that with everyone. His first thought when a new person entered the kitchen, whether staging or not?

I'm gonna smoke this motherfucker.

He was the same way with you, just ramped up to 100. You rubbed him the wrong way. He didn't know what bothered him so much, you were like every other stage he'd ever worked with. But maybe that's what bothered him. There was just, nothing special about you.

You were extraordinarily ordinary. And that was the most confusing piece of the puzzle for him.

How did you; an up-and-coming chef in the New York area just trying to get by, staging at any restaurant that'll take you somehow ending up here?

God, in the beginning he couldn't stand you. Even just being stationed near each other was enough to drive him insane. Any chance he got to leave, he would. His smoke breaks ramped up, and so did his amount of volunteering to leave on errands.

You were pretty much the same. Snide remarks, comments, eye rolls and scoffs were most of your vocabulary around him. Everyone in the kitchen knew of your disdain for each other, and it became a bit of a game for them. Let's see who pops first: Carmy or the new kid? How close can we get them before a fight starts? How long until they either kill each other or hook up?

Still, as time went on, the other chefs learned to accept you, Carmy learned to ignore you, and you learned to deal with his bullshit.

Carmy also learned that he might have a staring problem.

It was little, at first. quick glances at you at your station. Just to make sure you aren't royally fucking up per usual, right?

But it became something... More.

Glances turned to looks, and looks turned to stares.

The more he stared, the more he noticed about you.

The more he stared, the more he noticed about himself.

Like, for example, your laugh. It was loud. Loud enough to break his focus every time he heard it, which was often because you just have to find everything so damn funny. Still, there was this warmth to it. It became familiar, comforting even. He found himself quietly chuckling, wondering what joke had made you laugh like that so he could replicate it and tell it to you later.

And as the weeks went on, it was harder to not stare at you every time you entered the kitchen. Maybe it was those ridiculous outfits, that made you look straight outta Brooklyn, though they did have a certain charm to them. Maybe it was your perfume, unbearable at first but after a while addicting. Or maybe it was just you. Maybe it was just the fact that Carmy wasn't just staring at your outfits, or listening to your laugh, or smelling your perfume, he was staring at, listening to, and smelling you.

He hated to admit it, but that little voice in the back of his head was right. The one that told him maybe he didn't hate you. The one that told him maybe you weren't the worst chef he'd ever met. The one that told him maybe he was issue, you were fine- amazing, even, he was just too dense to realize.

He didn't listen to that voice often, but as time passed the voice got louder and it was harder to push down his feelings like that. He knew, sooner or later, that he would explode and tell you how he felt. How he really felt.

Maybe that would be tonight.

Carmy could feel his jaw tense just looking at you, gripping the countertop so hard his tattooed knuckles looked pale in the fluorescent kitchen lights.

Somewhere else in the kitchen someone yelled out an order, but he wasn't paying attention. He was busy watching you. You were preparing lamb with a mint jelly, but the jelly was runny and the lamb undercooked. God, it almost made him feel sorry for you.

He watched as you wiped sweat from your furrowed brow, a concentrated look on your face with your tongue slightly sticking out of your mouth. It was kind of endearing to see you trying so hard. God, was he smiling? At the thought of you? He'd tried to push these feelings down, he really had. He just wasn't strong enough.

Carmy quickly went back to being straight faced, trying to focus more on his job of prepping vegetables for a side dish. Still, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop stealing glances to your station. It was a mess, in all honesty. How you hadn't been screamed at yet, he had no idea.

A thought appeared in his head. He tried to ignore it; shake it off and focus on the food that needed preparing. But it was consuming his mind. Finally, he couldn't take it. He set down his knife, glancing at your station.

"Chef!" he called out. You were the only person nearby, so of course you turn and look at him. You felt yourself grimace. God, what does he want now? To yell at you, insult your undercooked lamb and mint jelly that was turning more into a mint sauce every minute?

You didn't know why you were so off your game today; maybe it had something to do with all the staring from Mr. 'I'm too good for the rest of you' just one station away. Those piercing blue eyes had been boring a hole through you for far too long now.

Even still, you made sure to smile and nod. "Yes?" you replied, with a sickeningly sweet tone.

"Yes, chef." Carmy corrected, and you scoffed. "Come over here."

You obliged, although hesitantly. Why did he need you at the garde manger? Not to mention, you were sure he would never work with you willingly. If he had it his way, you'd be out on the streets begging for spare change.

"You're cooking the lamb all wrong," Carmy began. You rolled your eyes. Of course he's calling you over to critique you. That's the only thing he finds pleasure in doing. He can see your disinterest, and quickly snaps his fingers in front of your face. "Hey, listen to me."

"Okay," you grumble.

"The only thing you should be saying is yes chef. Not okay, not yes, not some bullshit complaint about me not fuckin'- bein' all nice and shit, just yes chef. Capiche?"

You raise your eyebrows. "Yes chef." You were used to Carmen getting pissy, throwing his temper tantrums, but not like this. This was different. This, was hot.

"Good." Carmy's reply is short and sweet. A moment of silence fills the air, the tension evident.

"So, for uh- for the lamb." he sniffs, grabbing a cut of the animal and his good knife. "You're not- you're starting the lamb on medium heat and just keeping it like that, the whole way through, right?"

You nod, watching him cut a piece to the right size. You never noticed how strong his arms were until now. You'd seen them, sure, but never in this light. Muscles, some veins popping out, you can't look away.

"Well- you're supposed to start it on, uhm, medium high. Yeah. Not medium, that won't cook it well enough without burning it and making it look like shit. So, you start on medium high, then around halfway through, you turn it down to medium and just keep it there until it's done. Yes?"

"Yes chef." you nod. You had to admit, he knew his shit. Carmy was a good chef, no doubt about it. And watching him work? It was like magic.

"Great. Here, lemme- lemme show you how to do it, first, so you don't fuck it up like you did last time. That was- that was bad. Fuck." he cringes at the stutter in his voice, reminding him of the childhood he spent too afraid to speak thanks to that debilitating stutter. It was gone now, mostly. Except for when the nerves got the best of him.

He walked to the stovetop, turning the heat to medium high and pouring olive oil on the skillet. The lamb made a hissing sound as he tossed it into the pan, the crackling and popping of the oil growing louder.

"See, and now this- this is when we turn down the heat, and you just change the side every few minutes until it's brown, and uh- yeah. There ya go. Perfect lamb. Yeah." he explains, wiping his hands on a nearby towel. He starts to walk back to his station, but you stop him.

"What about the mint jelly?"

He stops and turns around. He never thought he'd see the day where you- the annoying stage who hated him almost as much as he hated you, would ask for his help. He can't help but smile. He doesn't know why. Maybe it's the satisfaction from the unspoken confession that yes- he is a better chef than you- or maybe it's because you actually want to spend time with him. You're asking to learn from him, and you don't even sound mad about it!

Maybe he's smiling because this stupid little workplace crush may not be as one-sided as he thought.

A/N: Holy shit I kinda love this. Might make a series of work rivals to lovers with Carm cus he's my husband fr fr <3 we share a name for a reason!!!💯💯💯

wordcount:1,868

[baby-tini]

Yandere ADA!Dazai alphabet plase? You don't have too do them all, just D, A, Z and I

TW- Physical Abuse, Psychological Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Manipulation, Controlling Behavior, Victim Blaming, Threat With A Gun, Love-Bombing, Talk Of Murder, Isolation, Implied Murder, Implied Torture

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? Dazai is very intense when it comes to affection, he's very clingy and you are very rarely away from him, but even when you aren't with him, he'll call and text you a lot, constantly checking up on you and he would even bug your phone with a tracking device or at the very least, he'll hack it too find you. But he does really well with playing it off as if he's being playful or that he's just concerned for you, afterall, he's a detective, he knows the uglies of the world.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? He's willing too get messy, very messy and he's more then willing too kill for you. But what he's willing too do and what he can do is very different, especially while he's in the agency. He won't kill if he can't get away with it. But also, he doesn't need too kill, especially with his level of intelligence, if there's someone that he doesn't like that's flirting with you, he'll just frame them for a crime. Because who's the police gonna believe? A detective in the ADA, someone who's helped them with cases before, or a suspected criminal who all the evidence points back to?

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? ADA!Dazai wouldn't abduct you, simply because he can't. Mainly because of his job, especially if you also work for the agency and you go missing, the agency are going too look for you and Dazai knows this. So, he would mostly stick to isolation and not letting you go out too much, or, he'll make up excuses as too why you can't go somewhere or hang-out with someone, which will then cause you too lose all of your family and friends. I do think he would mock you, but only when you're pissing him off, he'll talk about how you have no friends, no family and he'll even threaten too leave you, when you go against him, because then you'll have absolutely nothing and he knows that.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? He would. Absolutely he would, because what you want doesn't really matter to him. Now, I don't think ADA!Dazai would go as far as too noncon you, but I do think he would give you forced affection. Whether you want too be touched in an affectionate way or not, doesn't matter to him, if he's in the mood too just lay and cuddle with you, you're going too lay and cuddle. So, basically, you have no say in pretty much anything, ever. If he wants something, he's going too have it, it doesn't matter if he has too force it.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? Not much honestly, even if he is obsessed with you, he still keeps his secrets. He doesn't want you too ever feel comfortable enough too make you think that you can exploit him in anyway. Now, sure, he'll have his vulnerable moments, he is still human after all, but he's really good at playing it off as if it was a joke and he wasn't very serious.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? He'd be quite amused actually, he'd find your whole show quite the entertainment. But also in perfect Dazai fashion, he'd make you feel like you're doing too much, as if you're getting so worked up for no reason. If you ever did get so angry to the point where you attempt too get physical with him though, he wouldn't be so amused.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? Yes and no. Yes simply because that's who he is, he likes too play mind games with literally everyone and he takes an immense amount of pleasure in fucking with peoples head. But also no because he does have a genuine interest in you, whatever that may be and he doesn't want you too think that he doesn't care for you at all. As for escaping, there's no real escaping simply because he's not holding you hostage but he does hate when he doesn't know where you are, so no, he doesn't.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? The worst experience you ever had with Dazai is when you tried too break up with him. It was when the two of you had a really bad argument, and again, he was trying too minimize the situation and that pissed you off even more and the words just came out. That's when you saw his eyes just go dark and become empty as he stepped towards you, the air noticeably becoming thicker as he stared you down. You found out just why Dazai was a torture specialist in the mafia that night.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? Dazai just wants too be happy and not constantly worry about you leaving or getting hurt, his ideal future would just be you being with him. He wants a happy life, he doesn't want too constantly dwell on the negatives of his life; if it's with you, he doesn't mind what kind of future.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? Jealousy isn't really a big thing for Dazai, he's a very confident person. Now, playfully he'll act jealous and become all clingy if your attention is directed at someone else. But, if he were too become genuinely jealous, well then... things would get very ugly as he stares the person down, his eyes lacking all emotion as he pulls you away with him. If he's angry enough though, you might just see a news story about them, reporting his mysterious death.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? He's very loving with you, very touchy and sweet overall. You guys look ideal out in public, it's just behind closed doors when things can get a little ugly. He does have a reputation out in public so he makes sure too keep himself in check when there are people around, but when you get home, he does a complete 180, especially if you were, in his words, misbehaving in public. But, besides that, he's a pretty good boyfriend.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? Love-bombing. He's very affectionate, very quickly, never leaving you alone, at all. He's constantly showering you in compliments and giving you gifts, telling you about how you're the first woman he's ever felt this way about, which is true, but he said that the first week of being with you. How the love of his life and he quickly engulfs your life and he gets you too move in with him very soon after being with him, everything happens so fast that it's overwhelming for you, but again, he makes everything feel like it's natural and that's he's just so in love with you that you don't really question him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? Yes, they are extremely different. Dazai is very two-faced and puts up a lot of facades. When you met him, he was so sweet and loving and intelligent.. but then his true colors came to the surface and things turned ugly. He started too become controlling and very psychologically abusive. But, that's just how he is in general, he's a manipulator and a very good one at that.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? You're already in a constant punishment with how much he keeps you isolated, but, he doesn't punish you very often, surprisingly. Simply because anytime you're pissy with him, he won't take you very seriously and he'd much rather cuddle with you then dish out punishments, he's lazy. But when he does, they're very calculated and impactful, he's more focused on breaking you down mentally then actually putting his hands on you, but he'll still spank your ass or give your hair a nice harsh little tug when he needs too.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? A lot, if not all of them. He becomes quite the controlling boyfriend, he's always asking you where you are and who you're with. He checks your phone constantly, you have no privacy whatsoever, he is in control of your whole life. He tells you what you can and can't where, he talks for you, he orders food for you, he'll bathe you. You will have sense of independence in this relationship, he doesn't even let toy think for yourself, anytime you have an idea he'll shut you down and tell you what he thinks you should do instead.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling? Dazai is a very patient person and it takes a lot for him too actually get to the point of being genuinely pissed off. He can tell when you're purposely trying too piss him off, he knows what you're doing. Sometimes he'll playfully feed into it and pretend too be upset, but again, he can tell what you're doing so he won't feed into all the time.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? First off, there is no leaving or escaping him, there's no where that you could go and him not find you. He is quite literally a detective, his whole job is finding people, you are no different, he will find you. If you do die though, it would break him quite a bit and he'd drink even more then he already does. It would actually frequent his suicide attempts and they wouldn't be like something like, jumping in the river, no, he'd desperately want too die and be with you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? Again, he wouldn't abduct you, he can't. Now, if he over did it with his little mind games and you were genuinely mentally exhausted, he may feel guilt and comfort you. But, usually he doesn't feel guilt because he sees it as something that needs too be done. Letting you go though? No. He would not, he doesn't care about how much you beg and plead for him too let you just be by yourself, and let you go out. Because it's not gonna happen.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? Loss really. Dazai has lost a lot of people in his life and he's tired of it. So if he has too become a little controlling too keep you safe, so be it. He only wants too keep you safe and he doesn't care what he has too do in order for that too happen. You'll understand one day that he's doing all of this for you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? It depends on the reason why you're doing all that, because you'll get a couple different reactions from Dazai. If you're crying because of a punishment, he'll just shrug you off, and tell you that's what you get for misbehaving. If you're screaming because you're frustrated with him because he never listens to you or lets you do things for yourself, he will minimize the problem and make you feel like you're acting over-dramatic. Isolating yourself though, that will not work, if you for example, lock yourself in a room, that's not gonna do anything for you, because he can pick locks and he's quite skilled at it.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? Sort of, since we're talking about ADA!Dazai, he won't kidnap you. Mainly because he can't, because of his job, especially if you also work for the agency and you go missing, the agency are going too look for you and Dazai knows this. So, he would mostly stick to isolation and not letting you go out too much or he'll make up excuses as too why you can't go somewhere or hang-out with someone.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? None really. I would say physically, but even then, Dazai can fight, he was in the mafia. No his martial arts aren't as good as that of someone like Chuuyas, but he can still take care of himself in a physical fight. Also, baby he has a gun, and he's shown time and time again that not only does he know how too use said gun but also that he's not afraid too use it. Mentally though, there's no winning there obviously. He is far too intelligent too be thrown off by some meaningless little comment.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? Yes, he would. I do think he would mainly be psychologically abusive instead of physically abusive. Now I say mainly because, I do think he would still hit you, but Dazais whole thing is mind games, plus people can't see psychological scars like they can with physical scars. Also psychological trauma lasts longer then physical trauma, because scars and bruises will heal. Being psychologically broken down will be much harder too bounce back from, and Dazai understands that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? Too win you over, he's pulling out all of the stops, cranking up his charm by tenfold. He'll take you to all these cute places and get you little gifts too charm you. Worshipping you though? If Dazai is in deep enough, he'd see you as like a landline of sorts, and would make sure that you're safe. Probably not to the point where you're a reason for him living, but to the point where he actually starts too enjoy life, because he gets too be with you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? Pretty long actually, like I said, he's a very patient man and he can wait. It's a pretty slow thing, especially with all the love-bombing that he uses. He knows you won't just automatically cling to him and go out with him, so he's willing too work for it, but even he can get impatient, especially if you reject him. He will snap and he will become very confrontational, to the point you become scared of him and are only with him out of fear.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? Not really, and also not fully, it would be more like him getting rid of things that he doesn't like about your behavior because he would find no pleasure in you being a broken shell of your former self. He'd actually find it quite boring in all honesty. If it was something like you constantly challenging him, which would piss him off, he'd correct that behavior. But he wouldn't break you completely because there's a reason that he likes you and once that reason goes away he'd get bored.