#he'd beat up fate himself tbh

[safyresky]

Hair: Lit

Middle Fingers: Out

Vows: Said

Fate is forcibly removed from the Royal Wedding

I have a PROBLEM

[rocksteadydeadboy]

📻🙾 [charles as ska/punk lyrics] 🙾📻

playlist [ here on youtube ] or on desktop view of this blog! just some random lyrics that remind me of the lad (not 100% ska or punk songs but for the most part!)

[ 📀 for songs i think fit best / my faves, 💿 for the rest lol ]

📀 The Selecter - Washed Up And Left For Dead

[ basically the entire song lol ] but I like these in particular:

He was washed up and left for dead Nobody told him he was just not wanted It got so cold after midnight

Night after night he's out biting the pavement Hurt his hands clapping for the group He can't dance, but he can certainly cause trouble

📀 The English Beat - Tears Of A Clown

[ full lyrics ]

Now if there's a smile on my face It's only there tryin’ to fool the public But when it comes down to foolin’ you Now, honey, that's quite a different subject

📀 X-Ray Spex - Germfree Adolescents

[ full lyrics ] a song for edwin!

I know you're antiseptic Your deodorant smells nice I'd like to get to know you You're deep frozen like the ice

[His] phobia is infection [He] needs one to survive It's [his] built-in protection Without fear [he'd] give up and die

📀 Amanda Lear - Follow Me

[ full lyrics ] tbh just here so i could have a song for the cat king. entire lyrics apply i love this song

I'll sell you dreams and new desires, I'm trading hopes, I'm open late

Unbelievable, maybe / You'll have a new identity For a second of vanity, I want to change your destiny

I'll give you wings, I'll sell you fame, merry-go-round maybe to Hell I am the key to your problem, so follow me, just follow me

📀 The Specials - Hey Little Rich Girl

[ full lyrics ] a song for crystal (and david the demon)

You left for London When you were nineteen Had to pull off your nice clothes Just living on dreams A man in the bright lights Took all that you own Now he's taken your freedom For a fate unknown

📀 The Business - Another Rebel Dead

[ full lyrics ] another charles gets murdered song :(

They say he killed himself But it was someone else His name was on their list And now he don't exist He didn't stand a chance Upon his grave they dance They were determined to blow him out

📀 Madness - It Must be Love

[ full lyrics ] another edwin song codependent king

As soon as I wake up every night, every day I know that it's you I need to take the blues away

I've got to be near you every night, every day I couldn't be happy any other way

📀 The Specials - It Doesn't Make It Right

[ full lyrics ] 'these cases have to matter', etc

Just because you're nobody It doesn't mean that you're no good Just because there's a reason It doesn't mean it's understood

It doesn't make it alright It doesn't make it alright It's the worst excuse in the world And it, it doesn't make it alright

💿 X-Ray Spex - I Can't Do Anything

[ full lyrics ] this one is a bit on the nose

I can't read / And I can't spell / I can't even get to hell I can't love / And I can't hate / I can't even hesitate

💿 The Toasters - Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down

[ full lyrics ] mostly here for vibes

I'm living in a world where I don't really fit Every day walking through the same old shit I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared I'm not impressed and I'm not scared

💿 Fishbone - Everyday Sunshine

[ full lyrics ] a bit of a niko song as well

I wish everyday the sun would shine Take me to another place in my mind Where everything is beautiful

If we could fly away on wings To a place where all could be true And the skies were blue And love was true

💿 Special Interest - Don't Kiss Me In Public

[ full lyrics ] charles & crystal song #CuteDistraction

Why don't you kiss me in public? And smear your lipstick all on my cheek Boo hoo won't cry for heartless cinema Boo hoo don't cry for you and me

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never Return To Hell

[ full lyrics ] another overly literal pick lol

Never return to hell Hey boys, quite enough to fulfill the final blow One day all your games will come to an end

💿 Tamar-kali - Boot

[ full lyrics ] another charles & crystal song, i just like this line

She is sweet tasting fruit whose juice is bitter tears

💿 The Oppressed - Do Anything You Wanna Do

[ full lyrics ] mostly for the vibes

Why don't you ask them what they expect from you ? Why don't you tell them what you're gonna do You get so lonely, maybe it's better that way It's not you only, 'cause you got something to say Do anything you wanna do

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never 'Ad Nothin'

[ full lyrics ] also just here for vibes!

I'm gonna go up in a puff of smoke I wanna go up in a puff of smoke (2x) If I'm goin' out I'm takin' some of you fucks with me!

💿 The English Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom

[ full lyrics ] that's right another codependent payneland song

Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free The door is locked, just you and me Can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables? You can watch yourself while you are eating

💿 The Specials - Do Nothing

[ full lyrics ] lastly! another depressing one lol. perhaps charles thoughts on being dead in ep 4

They're just living in a life without meaning I walk and walk, do nothing They're just playing in a life without thinking They talk and talk, say nothing I'm just living in a life without feeling

[sorry-mom-ive-sinned]

since we are hikakao posters brothers in arms i was curious to ask, a lot of scenarios for hikakao have kaoru fall in love first which makes sense, but what if it was hikaru? how do you think hikaru would act/do knowing he was in love with kaoru and would kaoru figure it out?

i like to entertaining the thought occasionally that even if kaoru were in love with hikaru also, he may try to turn his brother down because he knows it isn't a good thing for them to be together. it'd (probably) cause a lot of issues down the line and kaoru would probably feel like it would stunt hikaru's growth as a person, making him dependant on kaoru again...and to kaoru, that is a fate fuckin worse than death so he'd rather make himself (and by extension hikaru) miserable for this notion of "the greater good". but i ALSO like the idea of kaoru giving in and being "selfish" and accepting his brother's confession and furthering their relationship, but being guilt ridden and beating himself up for it later.

the fact i started this off asking about hikaru and it still became about kaoru....lmao

Okay so I definitely have a lot of throughts lol. Firstly, I like to think of Hikaru as not as oblivious as he may seem, especially not when it come to Kaoru. He doesnt understand/doesnt know how to deal with his own emotions, but he is like at least aware of them or that they exist. So if he fell in love first, I definitely think he'd hide it, and tbh hide it better than Kaoru would. Because I imagine Kaoru all in his head about it like "I can't bring my brother down with me I must try to hide this and preserve what we have I can't let these feelings show" all dramatic like which Hikaru would eventually figure out, while I imagine Hikaru is more "Huh. I'm in love with Kaoru, my brother. Probably shouldnt share this." then like. Just doesn't. I definitely don't see him having as much of an internal struggle about it and is able to act much more normally then Kaoru would.

Which is in part because I like to think that in Hikaru's mind, if they were like Together not much would change, so he thinks whats the point in causing unnecessary strife for Kaoru when he's fairly content with how things are. I think the main issue would be maybe more sexual feelings? But still I dont think he would have too much of an issue hiding those, since he's used to being physically close with Kaoru and is able to separate out his sexual feelings when its at inappropriate times. Wait actually I think the main issue would be genuinely deep signs of physical affection. I like to think Hikaru has a soft spot for hands, like he would want to just hold and fiddle with Kaoru's and stuff, and whenever Kaoru initiates hand holding in a genuine way he combusts a little lmao. And when Kaoru gets hurt ofc. Because he reacts in a way where he can barely contain himself with all his rampaging emotions, so I think in those moments is when it's the closest to being revealed, but Hikaru is too much of a mess to form coherent thoughts and words so it doesn't.

I don't think Kaoru would figure it out tbh, not only because I think Hikaru is fairly decent at hiding it (I say decent cause I think the host club would come to figure him out) but also because I like to think of Kaoru as a bit dense when it comes to things about himself too. Like even if he got an inkling, he'd be like "no theres no way why would you even think that about him" with a hidden "he wouldnt love me in that way i'm probably projecting".

And I completely agree with you about Kaoru either rejecting Hikaru if he confessed, or accepting "selfishly". They'd have a lot to work through whenever a confession happens. But tbh I like to think that any confession that happens is because of Kaoru's feelings. Either Kaoru himself tells him because hes bad at lying or its a heat of the moment type thing, or Hikaru picks up on it and confronts him about it. So as long as Kaoru is oblivious to his own feelings, nothing progresses on that front basically.

So lets say Hikaru has been pining since they joined the host club right (I chose this time because I like to think the more time they spend around others the more Hikaru comes to appreciate, crave, and love Kaoru's presence as someone he chooses to love, not just his identical twin thats his only companion) and Kaoru doesnt start realizing and having a crisis until their second year of highschool. I think on Hikaru's end he would notice Kaoru's feelings shortly after Kaoru himself does due to Kaoru not hiding things well (from Hikaru), then be conflicted if its right for Kaoru but trusts in the end that Kaoru will be honest if he talks about it with him (which he is wrong about, but he will be able to tell anyways because cmon they can read eachother like a book when their thinking clearly), and decides to give Kaoru some time to figure things out and come to terms with his feelings before he says anything.

Kaoru on the other hand realizes his feelings, then just "oh shit oh shit oh shit" and spirals. Thinking that Hikaru would never want this, he deserves better, as you said thinking it would make him dependent on him again and ruin all his growth. Ect. Not realizing that Hikaru realizes he loves him in this way Because of his growth and the more he grows rhe more he loves. But, Kaoru keep spiraling and then lowkey tries to push Hikaru away a bit. In a "it whats best for him" kinda way.

Then it all culminates with Hikaru confronting him like wtf why are you pushing me away. And they argue and Kaoru in the heat of the moment admits to his feelings, causing Hikaru to just. Lose it. Like hes yelling and laughing and pacing and rambling like "I cant believe it. You really think this? What is wrong with you, how could you ever think its best for me to be without you? You really haven't noticed? Its been years now of me being in love with you. And when I realized you felt the same way, because I picked up on it months ago by the way, I was so, so happy. I love you and you make me a better person. But if all I do is make you feel like this. Make you feel worse. Then maybe it wouldn't work out anyways." Like. Straight to the gut. Not really understanding that Kaoru is like mentally ill in ways Hikaru can't understand.

Then ofc Kaoru is like "You don't make me feel worse. You make me feel like I'm precious and like nothing else in the world matters more. And that fucking terrifys me. Because you deserve better than me holding you down. I want you to grow and be able to be happy without me. I feel like I tricked you into feeling like this. Its better that you become independent and find someone else thats better for you."

Then the response "Why do you think I would ever even want to be happy without you? Im not shackled by my feelings for you. You're not forcing or tricking me to do anything. You can't even trust me enough to know that I know my own emotions? I love you. I enjoy loving you. I choose to love you. I am my own person, and I have the autonomy to choose you. You can't decide for me whats best for me. Theres nothing you can do about how god damn much I care, and always have."

Then that leaving Kaoru in fucking shambles because that shatters literally everything his brain has been telling him for not just since he realized his feelings, but since he first discovered what guilt felt like.

I think things overall would probably go a bit smoother if Hikaru fell first tbh. Like it would one big confrontation putting everything out in the open, then slowly dealing with their issues to be better as partners from then on. Vs when Kaoru falls first I think of it as much more miscommunication takes place, because Kaoru is spiraling And Hikaru is confused, leading to more issues worked out over a long period of time, since Hikaru is too busy figuring out his own shit to correctly read Kaoru right away.

Anyways that became so long omg, I have so many thoughts on them rattling in my brain all the damn time. Tysm for the ask I love love love barfing up my thoughts about them. And especially this because i'm getting more and more interested in exploring Hikaru's side of it all, which I feel is a bit less.

[charlesrptheme-test]

📻🙾 [charles as ska/punk lyrics] 🙾📻

playlist [ here on youtube ] or on desktop view of this blog! just some random lyrics that remind me of the lad (not 100% ska or punk songs but for the most part!)

[ 📀 for songs i think fit best / my faves, 💿 for the rest lol ]

📀 The Selecter - Washed Up And Left For Dead

[ basically the entire song lol ] but I like these in particular:

He was washed up and left for dead Nobody told him he was just not wanted It got so cold after midnight

Night after night he's out biting the pavement Hurt his hands clapping for the group He can't dance, but he can certainly cause trouble

📀 The English Beat - Tears Of A Clown

[ full lyrics ]

Now if there's a smile on my face It's only there tryin’ to fool the public But when it comes down to foolin’ you Now, honey, that's quite a different subject

📀 X-Ray Spex - Germfree Adolescents

[ full lyrics ] a song for edwin!

I know you're antiseptic Your deodorant smells nice I'd like to get to know you You're deep frozen like the ice

[His] phobia is infection [He] needs one to survive It's [his] built-in protection Without fear [he'd] give up and die

📀 Amanda Lear - Follow Me

[ full lyrics ] tbh just here so i could have a song for the cat king. entire lyrics apply i love this song

I'll sell you dreams and new desires, I'm trading hopes, I'm open late

Unbelievable, maybe / You'll have a new identity For a second of vanity, I want to change your destiny

I'll give you wings, I'll sell you fame, merry-go-round maybe to Hell I am the key to your problem, so follow me, just follow me

📀 The Specials - Hey Little Rich Girl

[ full lyrics ] a song for crystal (and david the demon)

You left for London When you were nineteen Had to pull off your nice clothes Just living on dreams A man in the bright lights Took all that you own Now he's taken your freedom For a fate unknown

📀 The Business - Another Rebel Dead

[ full lyrics ] another charles gets murdered song :(

They say he killed himself But it was someone else His name was on their list And now he don't exist He didn't stand a chance Upon his grave they dance They were determined to blow him out

📀 Madness - It Must be Love

[ full lyrics ] another edwin song codependent king

As soon as I wake up every night, every day I know that it's you I need to take the blues away

I've got to be near you every night, every day I couldn't be happy any other way

📀 The Specials - It Doesn't Make It Right

[ full lyrics ] 'these cases have to matter', etc

Just because you're nobody It doesn't mean that you're no good Just because there's a reason It doesn't mean it's understood

It doesn't make it alright It doesn't make it alright It's the worst excuse in the world And it, it doesn't make it alright

💿 X-Ray Spex - I Can't Do Anything

[ full lyrics ] this one is a bit on the nose

I can't read / And I can't spell / I can't even get to hell I can't love / And I can't hate / I can't even hesitate

💿 The Toasters - Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down

[ full lyrics ] mostly here for vibes

I'm living in a world where I don't really fit Every day walking through the same old shit I'm gonna get my gun, gonna get prepared I'm not impressed and I'm not scared

💿Fishbone - Everyday Sunshine

[ full lyrics ] a bit of a niko song as well

I wish everyday the sun would shine Take me to another place in my mind Where everything is beautiful

If we could fly away on wings To a place where all could be true And the skies were blue And love was true

💿 Special Interest - Don't Kiss Me In Public

[ full lyrics ] charles & crystal song #CuteDistraction

Why don't you kiss me in public? And smear your lipstick all on my cheek Boo hoo won't cry for heartless cinema Boo hoo don't cry for you and me

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never Return To Hell

[ full lyrics ] another overly literal pick lol

Never return to hell Hey boys, quite enough to fulfill the final blow One day all your games will come to an end

💿 Tamar-kali - Boot

[ full lyrics ] another charles & crystal song, i just like this line

She is sweet tasting fruit whose juice is bitter tears

💿 The Oppressed - Do Anything You Wanna Do

[ full lyrics ] mostly for the vibes

Why don't you ask them what they expect from you ? Why don't you tell them what you're gonna do You get so lonely, maybe it's better that way It's not you only, 'cause you got something to say Do anything you wanna do

💿 Angelic Upstarts - Never 'Ad Nothin'

[ full lyrics ] also just here for vibes!

I'm gonna go up in a puff of smoke I wanna go up in a puff of smoke (2x) If I'm goin' out I'm takin' some of you fucks with me!

💿 The English Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom

[ full lyrics ] that's right another codependent payneland song

Mirror in the bathroom, please talk free The door is locked, just you and me Can I take you to a restaurant that's got glass tables? You can watch yourself while you are eating

💿 The Specials - Do Nothing

[ full lyrics ] lastly! another depressing one lol. perhaps charles thoughts on being dead in ep 4

They're just living in a life without meaning I walk and walk, do nothing They're just playing in a life without thinking They talk and talk, say nothing I'm just living in a life without feeling

[amethiosspouse]

Yeah we Explorer fans get crusts shdhfnsns

Ngl I mostly read Shovelbug for my fics,, I highly reccomend his stuff !!

Also like- so many people like tall dudes. Onyx is the tallest Explorer!! What's not to like abt him??? (Apart from the fact that he's a major red flag and probably can break you in half. I'll take those odds.)

Don't feel sorry abt spaming my DMs,, Idm it at all shsjsj,, I'll actually be able to reply on time,

Also that is true, Zir does look like the type to drink protien powder and does 10 push-ups before calling it a day,,

Also that meme is so accurate.

Ngl for me Zir just gives off the vibes that he'd live off of (or just like) protien powder and creatine (I think he reminds me of my brother to an extent, so that might be another reason),

I have a screenshot where my friend says smthng like "He (Onyx) looks like the type to gym, feel sad, and lay down on a bench" somewhere in my camera roll, but I can't find it-

OMG YEAH !! I think I remember someone recommending Shovelbug to me on my side blog (ever since that day, my life has changed) and i think i was scrolling through one of their fics when I came across one of yours (i think it was the amethio hcs one) .

Tbh, I feel like if you were somehow to get w Onyx, he wouldnt be much of a red flag. Just...expect a few fights every so often here and there. STOP I JUST HAD AN IDEA. It's linked w Onyx training and stuff but like I just have this feeling that if you were to have some rival, Onyx would like slap their face onto a punching bag and beat the shit out of it 😭😭😭He gives off "If my bae's got opps, they're my opps too" sort of man.

STOP OK ANOTHER WEIRD SCENARIO TIME: Ok, in my home country, we mix milo (yes the powder) and rice as a snack (PLEASE DONT JUDGE HELP) and i can just see Zir doing the same thing. Like he mixes protein powder in with rice or steak or even his salad cuz its "eating healthy". Conia and Amethio just look at him weirdly but he doesnt care.

STOP BAHAHAHAH

NO CUZ IMAGINE ONYX MID BENCH PRESS JUST BEING HIT W A MIDLIFE CRISIS AND THEN THE WEIGHT JUST FALLS ON HIM.

Sango finds him laying down on the bench half an hour later cuz she was looking for him to open up a pickle jar or smth, and even through her screams, HE DOESNT HEAR HER.

Speaking of Onyx, I have this little theory for him:

He seems to be walking with an arched back and I feel like thats part of his character in a way. Like you said, he's the tallest Explorers member and his build is quite strong so I think that he suffered a similar fate to Grusha. (being injured from sport and being put into hospital for some time) But unlike Grusha, he never got the mental and physical therapy so instead, he turned to other means of getting better and thats how he joined the Explorers. One of Hambers grunts or Hamber (or even Gibeon himself) promised Onyx that he would regain his strength overtime if he helped them. Another thing that you said was that he seems like the type of guy to have a dislike for protein powder and stuff like that and it gave me another theory, the reason why he doesnt like it is because he ended up using some form of drug thats similar to try and get himself back to his original health.

I COULD BE READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS BUT ITS JUST INTERESTING

[elmaxlys]

started to put it in the tags but you get it here instead because why the hell not

i don't think arima wants a better life for ghouls but rather for the garden kids

which is why i'm so mad at kingneki and hirako btw

which is also why i think eto and he should have allied themselves with furuta

even if furuta preferred to have them (entire washuu clan) all killed for his plan

because all of that translates to sticking it up to v

(see both of them lying straight to kaiko's face)

(but also both of them maintaining appearances: furuta seemingly obeying while actively but indirectly wiping them out + managing to make them believe the washuu clan (their main soldiers supply) was better off dead, arima carrying out their orders perfectly <- killing shachi and giving rize back)

but also arima made a conscious decision to ally himself with fellow v hater eto

and that meant allying himself with aogiri (and its ideals) by extension

and yeah he's just like tatara in that respect: doesn't care all that much for aogiri's primary goal, just here for their own stuff and if ghouls can have it better by the end of it then good

i don't remember the point i wanted to make

but giving rize back to v was. the opposite of what arima's shown to want (not killing, getting away from v, better life for garden kids)

and also like the whole not killing thing, re the butterfly panel.. i know it's for symbolism and the poetry of seeing it fly away etc etc but. the impact would have been so much higher if he let ghouls go. if he let rize go.

hell even furuta, rize's main captor, let rize go when they were kids because he didn't want that fate for her

we saw where that lead but anyway

all arima spared were a butterfly (symbolism) and kaneki (also symbolism, but conscious on his part. which is infuriating for me. he failed with kaneki. failed to make him a decent successor. failed to make him a proper symbol of hope for having killed arima (considering that after that he didn't kill a single investigator as king). hell he even failed to train him to beat him.)

not his family, not the people he wanted to protect, not even the ones he, as the oek, should have spared and helped. no, he spared a potential symbol.

and also lmao rotfl etc but seeing arima constantly shown on corpse heaps and then furuta making a parade out of same corpse heaps...

arima saying i hate killing and then mass murdering everything he sees and furuta going i want super peace while making tokyo a warzone...

smoochies.

they're the same (but furuta's efficient about it because he knows how to play that game, he knows when to reveal which card and to whom. also he knows how to act with his allies and not parallel to them.)

also like, furuta being extraordinarily good at fighting but hiding it to the point he's rank 1 and known as a poor little bureaucratic meow meow needing protection when hairu, younger than him, is first class... arima should have taken notes.

anyway i'm still mad about rize and shachi

i had something else to say but i forgot

i don't even know if any of this makes sense

and i know they had v to be mindful of and all of them are allergic to honesty, but soooo much bullshit would have been avoided if arima and souta had one (1) conversation

also souta, arguably the most childish one here, had three tons of back-up plans that allowed him to deal accordingly to 1) kaneki = oek 2) eto not going with kaneki 3) kaneki refusing to ally himself with him (and like. furuta tried, okay. he'd have tried with arima and eto if they'd fucking. told him.) 4) about anything thrown his way tbh i mean the dude had roma and shiko in his fucking office - so you can't tell me genius writer Takatsuki Sen didn't have at least a dozen

all that to say she should have gone with goat, killed kaneki herself and taken up the oek mantle like god intended

she wouldn't have stood for his shit and neither should have anyone

OH RIGHT I REMEMBERED

i also really fucking resent the fact that it's hirako who killed kaiko and not arima, furuta, matsuri or eto. like. fucking hell. what was the point of saying "oh btw she survived decapitation and kakuhou manipulation :)" if not to make her kill kaiko????? but instead faint right after and never to be seen again?????

Arima's plan was so stupid like the dude was completely unbeatable and instead of fighting V on his own with also unbeatable Eto he?? left his title and life dream to some guy that could barely touch him in combat??

The impact from having THE ghoul investigator teaming up with ghoul would have been soooo much more, for the humans especially, than whatever Kaneki had going on. Especially paired with the Takatsuki is a ghoul reveal and her new book release. As for the ghouls, all Arima had to do was. stop killing them.

And instead of that, he killed Shachi and gave Rize to V and then made Kaneki his successor like???

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Slenderman 5 stages of grief please!

It is finally dad's time to feel the release of grief. Tbh he probably handles it as one of the most mature and normal people

Denial:

He's drifting. He feels as though he's flowing along in a spring's breeze, drifting through life, empty, no longer feeling the light and joy that you had bestowed upon him through all of the years you were together. He knows there's no denying you've passed on, and he feels no need to try and think otherwise. Doing so would be a disservice to you and the pain you suffered through in your final moments. Thus, Slender tries his best to come to terms with the fact that you're no longer here.

Anger:

His anger and frustration are directed at himself, and himself only. He blames himself heavily for not being able to save you, not being able to stop the fate that took you away from him. He's angry that he was helpless to do nothing, and he spends a lot of nights mentally beating himself up, slimming his doors and his hands onto his desks as he shakes his head, holding back tears and wishing for the pounding ache in his chest to go away. He never takes it out on anyone else, but everyone can tell what he's going through during this time. 

Bargaining:

In his bargaining phase, he spends most of his time reconnecting with his family, quite honestly. They get him better than anyone else, and he spends most of his days in the company of his brothers and his mother. He even spends a bit of time with his father, with whom he has a rocky relationship at best, seeking comfort and advice. They are the ones to talk some sense into him, to comfort him, to remind him that all will be alright in the end. All he can do is push forward, and they are there to take every step with him as he wades through the swamp of misery without you beside him. 

Depression:

His depression phase isn't too bad, in his opinion. After all the emotions he's already been feeling, he's not daunted by the empty feeling rising within his chest. When he's depressed, he thinks of you. Of your smile, of your laughter, of the ways you would bother him during working hours when he begged you not to, not that he really minded. It's those times that he misses most, that give him the most painful twinges in his heart, the nights where you'd creep into his office when he was up far too late when you'd poke and prod at him until he'd give in and eventually return to bed. He feels the saddest without you there to reinforce such behavior while he spends his nights alone surrounded by his work. 

Acceptance:

Perhaps acceptance was the first thing to come to Slender, in the end. In reality, he's accepted that you won't be coming back earlier than anything else, however, he supposes that true, gleaming acceptance comes soon after his depression. It drifts over him every morning, as the sun blooms and the birds sing, reminding him that all will be okay. That you will always be looking over him, and that he has nothing to fear. That despite your warmth no longer accompanying his side, it now blossoms within his heart, where you will remain for the rest of time. He'll always think of you, even if he can no longer physically take hold of you, you will always take hold of his mind and heart. 

[taecnoal]

Hi!

Anais lore when 🔫

HI SYKE!

OOOOOOOOOO i could like, kiss u rn i think. as a friend but. kiss u nonetheless. pardon my jumbled thoughts ive been trying to write his lore for 3 days straight so im just. putting down wht comes to mind.

edit: THIS IS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE WAAAAAA

tags: @caniscreamintoanabyss, @ozzagi (bc i say so)

CW: child abandonment/neglect (just in case)

Anais was born in Liyue (One Parent was from Natlan and the Other from Liyue). But he didn't really have a home? His parents just kind of wandered around with him in tow.

They didn't really care much for him either.

So surprise surprise! He was abandoned when he was five during one of Liyue's harshest winters. They didn't leave him with much, just some herbs.

(In my selfship AU he is rescued from freezing to death by the Adeptus Lynn (@chickynn) and dropped off at Bubu pharmacy.)

Baizhu nearly straight up fainted. he was way younger and sicker here, so he didn't really know if he would b able to properly care for a child.

Tbh he considered giving anais to someone else but Gui scolded him for it. So while he originally kept anais out of obligation, that quickly faded.

He would help out around the pharmacy or even help take care of Baizhu when he really needed it. Also came out around like 12. (he didn't want to alter his body, just wanted everyone to stop calling him a girl!!!)

Around this time also, Baizhu and Anais found Qiqi while herb picking - from then on he was a big brother <3 (Baizhu did not see himself taking care of two children but they both grew on him n he's v proud of them)

Anais started getting jealous around age 14-15 becaus Baizhu and Qiqi had such pretty visions! He would hold them in his hands sometimes and dreamed about having a vision of his own.

Not much later, while he was herb picking with Qiqi a mitachurl attacked them - he was granted an anemo vision while protecting his little sister :D

The way they both raced home to show Baizhu, who beamed at him with pride and told him to take care of it.

(Elsewhere, the Adeptus Lynn is also smiling proudly! The boy she saved all those years ago was growing up so fast!)

Around his later teen years (17-18) anais wanted to start adventuring but baizhu forbade it. and he would've rebelled too, if baizhu didn't faint so easily.

once he hit abt 19/20 baizhu realized he couldn't keep him there forever! he gifted him a shiny, new, expensive looking catalyst for his birthday (though anais is skilled with all weapons, he prefers catalysts).

anais started adventuring not soon after that. he'd never been out of liyue harbor except to go herb picking, and even after that he couldn't really take in much scenery, since baizhu wanted him home before dark.

It took him a while to explore the entirety of liyue until he was satisfied. after that he moved on to mondstadt, the neighboring country.

(he reunited with Lynn here, who was returning from Inazuma)

Anais didn't really have a job while he stayed in mond. he didn't know if he was planning to stay or not, so he went around doing odd jobs for money.

ONE FATEFUL DAY he decides to hang at the esteemed Angel's Share. He seems to catch the attention of the red-haired bartender when he orders a nonalcoholic drink *wink wink*

He does get attached to Diluc and eventually goes back often to see him. which results in diluc working more shifts bc he also wants to see anais.

He also befriends kaeya during this time, since his teasing was relentless when it came to the two of them.

(diluc is actually blackmailed into confessing his feelings. "give me a free drink or i tell him how you feel" - lynn)

anais decided to stay in mond when he and diluc got together, joining mond's adventurers guild

(went back to liyue to tell baizhu he planned on staying. and that he also caught the eye of one of teyvats richest and most eligible bachelors. baizhu fainted.)

!! anais goes to liyue w/the traveler to act as a guide of sorts. befriends childe while he's there. beats his ass after he nearly drowns the harbor.

OTHER AUS TO CONSIDER!!

Harbinger!Anais AU

In this au he became a harbinger instead of going to mond.

one of the youngest harbingers alongside childe.

is best friends with childe and rivals with dottore + scara.

(dottore actually denied him harbinger status for a hot minute. would give him weird liquids and tell him to drink. anais does not trust him)

absolutely adores the tsaritsa. between him and childe it almost seems like a competition as to who can better gain her favor.

he uses a pyro delusion + sword, as well as his anemo vision + catalyst.

if he does get with diluc in this au its a double edged sword (?). they both only got with the other for information, but actually fell in love along the way. oops?

In Which He's With Itto + Sara, Not Diluc

he still ventures to mond in this au, but doesn't get with diluc.

he visits inazuma when lynn returns. as company :D

walks into itto, looks up, and quite literally faints. (emotions too strong maybe? exhausting trip? who would look at that hunk of a man and NOT faint???)

anyways thats how he met itto :D started hanging around him and his gang more, since itto was hellbent on making sure he didn't faint in public again.

met sara during one of her and itto's rematches. he actually stepped in to fight in itto's place because he was being careless. sara commended the way he fought which made him grow red in the face.

he showed up to every rematch after that.

[tinycurlyfry]

I wanna hear your One Piece blorbo, scrunkly, scrimblo bimblo etc list (and if you feel like doing it for the brOC, that'd be absolutely hilarious)

jhgskldfgj doing it for brOC IS hilarious, you're absolutely right. I'll go ahead and do both lmaoo

ONE PIECE (*Note- I'm currently in the middle of Skypeia)

-Blorbo (Favorite, Character that consumes my thoughts) Zoro. Without a doubt. This fucking guy I SWEAR. He has my mind in a fucking death grip -Scrunkly (my "baby", character that gives me cuteness aggression) I mean, Chopper. He's the definition of being "So shaped" I feel gjsklfdg. -Scrimblo Bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) I know I just need to actually search for him and I'll find content on here of him, but I really dig Smoker and in going through One Piece art I haven't seen him come up once. I actually might do that after writing this up lmao. Him telling the people he works for to “go to hell” because they gave him the credit for saving Alabasta and wouldn’t acknowledge that it'd been the straw hats? Even though he'd gone after the Straw Hats himself before? Iconic. Had me roaring. You tell 'em, King! -Glup Shitto (Obscure Background favorite) hmm hard to tell just because I don't know who doesn't become a really big character at some point in this long ass show but I wanna say Zeff? He made me cry the way he wanted to ensure Sanji got out to see the world and that he chased after his dream and didn't stay at the restaurant because Sanji felt indebted to him. Between him and Smoker does this just mean I like the angry but caring dad vibe characters? Maybe. -Poor Little Meow Meow ("problematic"/pathetic fave) Usopp rant activated I apologize in advance that this is long jgslkdfg. Okay, so I really love Usopp's character but I do think One Piece over does it in making sure he comes across as the pathetic coward sometimes. They need to give him more shining moments without beating in the 'Haha, Usopp was useless again' horse. And they might! I've heard heard good things about Water 7. And I don't actually mind his frequent over-reactions and his loud nervous interjections/lies he makes to make himself sound big and tough. But, I didn't like that they said he made Nami's weapon a party prop primarily and only eventually did OP go "Okay, but actually this thing IS a very useful weapon and it works really well with Nami's strengths". My (maybe) controversial opinion? I LOVED the Syrup Village Arc. I think Usopp's writing in that arc was amazing. He literally is the bravest warrior because he's fucking terrified (as he honestly should be) of most of the stuff that crosses the crew's way but will put his life on the line to keep people safe and has put himself between a bad guy and innocent people to get the enemy to attack him instead. Also, it is... unfortunate the way one piece draws him and other poc characters ;>> Usopp is a favorite character that... I wish was in the hands of someone else writing-wise if that makes sense. I would never call Usopp my poor little meow meow lmaoo but I'm going to say Usopp fits here. - Horse Plinko (Character I would torment for fun) Oh, so many of them tbh but Zoro and Sanji both. These two need to be bullied for how ridiculous they are when they're trying to one-up each other. - Eeby Deeby (Character I would send to super hell) Sanji Kidding, but I just can't stand him sometimes jgkldfg. He gets sent to superhell for his painful and annoying straight act despite clearly having a bi awakening in meeting Ace lmaoo.

BrOC (For my other followers this was a big dnd roleplay event between amazing people in the Strings of Fate Discord)

-Blorbo - Beif. -Scrunkly - Honestly? I think Fili and Edmund are tied here -Glup Shitto - Look at me and tell me Nony doen't deserves the title Glup Shitto lmaoo -Poor Little Meow Meow - Ammon. I wouldn't call him pathetic but everyone would agree he was problematic and boy oh boy did he need friends and hugs and to be aggressively smothered in love against his will - Horse Plinko - Duniq but I'd feel bad about it jgkslfg It doesn't take much for Duniq.exe to stop working, but he's doing his best I'm sure. - Eeby Deeby - Ilven. For just, so many crimes. Stinky.

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: 😢💔 Carly: treats not tricks Ali: Baby Ali: You can't say seeing Drew shit himself was anything but a 🍬 Carly: ha Carly: hide & seek? Carly: goldie's gonna b too sad to play unless ur sister steps up her comforting tho Ali: fun Ali: or manhunt Ali: and not a fate I'd wish on anyone, that Ali: he can be on our team, stop him pouting too hard Carly: let him hunt u & he couldn't be happier Carly: even if i offered to take off clothes each time i got found Carly: but you want his boy bestie to find you yea Ali: so telling Ali: Lene would have a field-day Ali: ain't no one's prey, baby Carly: nah hes urs Carly: sweet enough to eat Ali: nah Ali: no one's sweeter than you 🍓🍯 Carly: aw Carly: 🐅💙 Ali: I mean it Ali: you be captain, you pick Carly: cos u havent tasted him yet Carly: u pick & then tell me whos sweetest after Ali: do you want me to or don't you Carly: u wanna Carly: he does Ali: I'm asking what you want, though Carly: i want you to have fun Ali: I am Ali: with you Ali: you don't need to worry Carly: its k & so am i Ali: promise? Carly: ur cute & u dont need to worry Carly: hes just a lad Ali: I know he is Ali: like I knew he'd be a good fit for this trip, that's all Carly: idc if u wanna fuck him on this trip or when we get back is what i mean Carly: u can like him if you don't like him as much as me Ali: I don't like anyone as much as I like you, Carls Carly: is that a truth or a dare? Ali: it's the truth Ali: I don't need to be dared into nothing Ali: I want you Carly: u wanna make me cry i reckon Carly: being 👼 Ali: not even Ali: like you said, if either of us wanted to go there with anyone else, it's a bridge we'd cross as and when Ali: I'm not gonna do anything behind your back, trust me Carly: u don't have to Carly: u can do anything u want Carly: not ur ex Carly: cute as she is its v intense Carly: im letting ur wings stay open Ali: you don't have to be the anti-her, you know Ali: just be you Ali: I care about you, what you want and what you think, just tell me that always Carly: ha what would the anti her b? Carly: ur sister mayb Carly: or drews Ali: either way Ali: not what I'm after Ali: 😬 Carly: idk drews sister is cute Carly: & hed b so mad about it Ali: world's most confusing boner, you mean Carly: 😂 Ali: not looking to blow either of their minds Ali: again, in his case, of course Carly: he's the cutest when he don't know what's happening Carly: like a baby 🐕 Ali: if I was being a bitch I'd say that was always Ali: but I've already wounded his ego too much today Ali: bless him Carly: ha Carly: never heard a boy scream w out being touched Carly: learning things this trip Ali: 😂 Ali: stick with me, babe Carly: 🏫 Ali: not 'til Monday Ali: 👎 Carly: im not gonna go Carly: say it was 👽 Carly: snatched for being this sexy soz Ali: good thinkin' Ali: if they're too squeamish to ask about sickness and diarrhoea, they ain't gonna deepdive into probing, like Carly: or 👻have taken over my body Carly: brb after the exorcism 😈 Ali: shame we ain't kicking it catholic Ali: they'd do it for the fun of, beats a normal day of Carly: @ my gma Carly: shes 😢💔 i dont want jesus inside me Carly: he's too nice like Carly: not my type Ali: could always go for Judas Ali: #hotfriend Carly: o true Ali: plus Iscariot is an amazing last name so Carly: baby we gotta get divorced rn Ali: 💔 Carly: dont b sad Carly: ill b back w a great name u can take Ali: hold you to that, girl 💍⛓ Carly: u can Carly: i love u more than any biblical figures Ali: even Mary Magdalene? 😍😍😍 Carly: dont tell her Ali: keep it between you and me Carly: 💙👼 Ali: you're so cute Carly: you're cuter Ali: nope Ali: I 👑 you the cutest Carly: aw Carly: if it goes to a vote youll win tho Ali: nah Carly: yea Carly: ur sister & ex dont like me Carly: the boys like u more Ali: they ain't got the good taste I do Carly: thats putting yourself down! Carly: they all love u Ali: but I love you Carly: i love u Ali: let's go be alone Carly: yea Carly: shoo the 👻s away for us baby Ali: 🔫🔫🔫 Carly: my hero Ali: you know it Ali: not to be my ex about it either Carly: she did rescue me too first night ever Carly: & shes not that bad Ali: 😒 why don't you marry her Ali: 😉 Carly: too straight Ali: 😂 Ali: we'll show her how straight you are Carly: she invited now? k then Ali: maybe not SEE then Ali: hear Carly: if she hears they all will Carly: sure u want that? Ali: let's deliberate Carly: what does that mean? Ali: that we're gonna start and then I'll see how I'm feeling Carly: o Carly: thats a dare isnt it Ali: if you're up to it, baby Carly: u kno i am Carly: & i can make u be louder than me Carly: if u wanna double dare it Ali: you know I do Carly: yea Carly: i can 👀 Carly: ur eyes r really blue & ur cute face is really pink Ali: it's the 🔥 Carly: nah its me Carly: hotter Ali: not gonna disagree Carly: not what i want u to say Ali: go on then, you 👀 Ali: what do you wanna 👂 Carly: more fun to make it happen Carly: if i tell u course youll say it to be sweet to me Ali: okay, let's play then Carly: where? Ali: don't think we'll be able to stop Marlene coming through if we desecrate her car so Carly: so cute Carly: take our chances w the dead then Ali: you aren't scared anymore, are you? Carly: ive got u to protect me y would i b Ali: and I swear, all treats Ali: or you know, the fun kind of tricks only Carly: ive missed u so much Carly: ur here i kno but scooby gang r too Carly: & yea drews the 🐕 Ali: 😂 omg too real 'cos Caleb is clearly Shaggy Ali: you can be Daphne, babe, I'll allow it Ali: but we can be alone all day Monday, yeah, I promise Carly: which 1 is the hot nerd cuz if its ur sister thats awks boo Carly: soz she loves me if she's the scarf wearing fashionista still tho Carly: ur ex coulda got away w it if it weren't for us pesky kids 😠 Ali: we'll let Meena and her duke it out who wants to be who Ali: I'll have to be Scrappy and I'm not even mad tbh Carly: aw ur that cute Ali: 🥊 Carly: thats y id go anywhere w you even ur exs car Carly: so safe w my baby Ali: always boo Ali: I've got you Carly: hold my hand not cuz im scared Carly: dont let go til u have to Ali: that's a challenge isn't it Carly: if it feels like 1 ill have to b that bitch & throw ur 💍 @ u Ali: 😂 Ali: you know how holdable you are Carly: dont leave me yet k Carly: its so loud in my 🧠 & 💙 how much i dont want u too Ali: I'm not leaving you ever Carly: im not saying u gotta promise me so hard Ali: but I am Ali: 'cos I'm not Ali: I love you now, no matter what Ali: I'm gonna be here for you Carly: i kno u mean it Carly: ur 👼 energy is always around me now Carly: but he's a nice lad who likes u thats not coming around much so don't forget Ali: I'll try not to take that personally, babe 😜 Ali: but I know what you mean Carly: do u cuz being w u is like its still summer @ a party where pretty girls keep telling u ur pretty & the lads who r rides wanna get u drinks & u kno every song thats playing Carly: like being high but w out chasing it or any of the shit u have to do to get 💊 Carly: & it lasts the comedown dont get u Carly: idk its hard to explain cept ive never met anyone like u cuz there isnt Carly: but theres girls & lads same as me everywhere Ali: baby Ali: that isn't true and you've given the proof right there Ali: you've got a poet's soul Ali: you're so special and you don't even know it Ali: that makes you more Carly: ur really magic Carly: im sorry Carly: dont b mad at me Carly: or sad Ali: I'm not Ali: why would I be Ali: like ever Ali: but especially right now Carly: idk Carly: i wasn't ur go to girl for pranking every1 Ali: not because you did something wrong Ali: not because of anything Ali: if I thought about it at all I was just trying to involve everyone, you know Ali: make sure everyone's having a good time Carly: jk 👼 baby i kno ur intentions r pure 💙 Carly: y ur 👑 leader Ali: okay you got me back then Ali: 💚 Carly: ha im full of tricks & treats Ali: 😏 come show me Carly: k