#he’s not Sonic trash like me so this is hilarious

[e-vay]

Making the husband celebrate Amy’s birthday, even if he’s a day late!

[tenebraevesper]

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (My Thoughts)

Before I start with anything, I just have to let this out: I ADORE THIS GAME!!! It has no right to be so good and I genuinely want more of these kinds of games where we get to interact with more of the Sonic cast. All of them were written so well, with their own little quirks and the game is just pure fun. Honestly, I could probably go on and on about this, but I’ll just do a quick summary of some of my favorite character interactions before moving on to one character I had been anticipating the most. Spoilers are ahead!

The player character, whose name is apparently Barry the Quokka, is really fun and I adore his cave-loving and trash-searching quirks. Not to mention the ways of him dealing with “this group’s unhinged way of thinking”, trying to just go along with all the weirdness and fanboying over Sonic.

I also love his dynamic with Tails, who is the most adorable detective I’ve ever seen. Honestly, this whole thing gave me a lot of Ace Attorney vibes and I’m living for it.

...

Well, most adorable next to another of my favorite detectives:

If you never watched Detective Conan, I strongly suggest you do.

I gotta say, Tails’ reaction to Sonic being “murdered” is kind of raw...

...and then it crosses the line with Amy being excited that someone “murdered” Sonic.

Next, another character who really looks good in his outfit - Knuckles! I love that they gave him the cowboy hat, even if it’s not the same as the Sonic OVA (progress guys, progress) and he actually commits to the bit of a sheriff, at least for Amy, only to just drop it when Tails and Barry arrive. Oh, and him and Vector for the high score at the arcade game and Knuckles just punching it in frustration when Vector beat him. Honestly, who wouldn’t do that?

Following up, Espio and Vector. I loved how committed Espio was to his role as the poet, even if his poetry wasn’t exactly... the best (not to mention his outfit looks so fitting!). He really has this “He’s a bit confused, but he’s got the spirit!” vibe going on. Then there were other bits like the fact that Espio actually speed read through a book just to spoil the ending for Knuckles.

Then there’s Vector just defending Espio when he gets accused. Let’s be real here, Vector is Espio’s Dad and no one can change my mind.

Next are Blaze and Rouge, and I found it so hilarious that Rouge managed to rope Blaze, Tails and Barry into her heist of stealing the Fabergé Chao Egg and Blaze just goes along with it because it’s part of her character lore card.

Not to mention the whole bit with them thinking the egg is a bomb and trying to figure out what to do with it (spoilers!: it’s not a bomb). Superb comedy!

Next, we move on to Shadow, and I had been really anticipating how he’d be written in this story. My thoughts? Goddamn, this was the kind of character writing I’ve been begging for ages!

In the story, Shadow is quite suspicious due to locking all the doors in the train, with Amy, Tails and Barry interrogating him and Amy believing he “murdered” Sonic. Well, as it turns out, the reason he was locking the doors was because he was trying to keep Amy out of the Lounge Car (while also handing out keys to everyone else). Why?

He was just trying to use the computer and buy Amy concert tickets of her favorite band, Hot Honey, for her birthday. Like, how adorable is THAT?!

Shadow then admits that he had trouble with it, printing out the Hot Honey website on accident and that he isn’t the best with computers. He then proceeds to explain:

So to recap, Shadow really cares about Amy and he put effort into trying to get her a nice birthday present, even if he didn’t succeed. Not only that, but he had also agreed to come to Amy’s birthday party (dressed as a Starbucks Barista; yeah, we all know the joke) and even helped out Knuckles and Vector with the arcade game they had trouble figuring out (also signing his high score with “Ultim”).

Now tell me, with the way he had been written in the Sonic IDW comics...

...and the whole SEGA mandates thing going on, do you really think Shadow would act like that? Honestly, I don’t think so, which makes me believe that, even if it’s for a spin-off game, maybe they’re finally loosening up on Shadow’s character. Evan Stanley did mention that they want Shadow to be written more closer to his game counterpart and if they’re fine with him being characterized as he is in this spin-off game, then I’m all for it!

Also, seeing Shadow being flustered over being invited to the concert is frigging adorable... and maybe a reference to the Twitter Takeover? I mean, both are apparently Taylor Swift fans. Oh, and speaking of references:

I rest my case. I also had to screenshot this because... com’n!

I said it once and I’m saying it again, Shadow is so cute in this game!

Anyways, Shadow tags along with Tails, Amy and Barry to the Conductor Car, where they solve the mystery, calling everyone to hear what happened, but when they go to get Sonic, they realize that something is wrong.

When Sonic doesn’t respond, Shadow and Espio are the first to jump in to help him. Once again, this is the kind of writing I really wanted to see when it comes to Shadow’s character. He really cares about his friends.

Speaking of friends...

Yeah... I wouldn’t want to be Amy’s target when she’s in this kind of mood.

Speaking of target, it looks like Espio isn’t the only one who’s about to commit “murder”. Yes, spoilers for those who hadn’t played the game, Espio was the one who “murdered” Sonic, albeit by using a blowdart and drugging him. However, there is a twist to this mystery.

Yeah, as it turns out, not only is the train a Badnik, but everyone is en route to be delivered to Dr. Eggman.

Honestly, this is getting rather creepy, especially with the train holding everyone hostage like this.

The train then locks everything up, throwing Sonic and Barry into the Dining Car, with Eggman calling in and explaining this was all part of his plan. He promised that he would reward any Badnik who could deliver him Sonic and his friends, and the train Badnik took it upon itself to fulfill that.

Okay, can we just talk for a moment how Eggman has managed to make a train Badnik without anyone noticing? This is disturbing.

After Eggman turns the call off, Barry starts blaming himself for not telling anyone how he noticed that Sonic was genuinely injured, because if he did, this whole story could’ve been avoided.

Sonic cheers him up, pointing out how it is easy to question the decisions that got you to the end of a road, but you should let those negative thoughts pass and keep living. Honestly, it’s the kind of advice everyone needs.

He and Barry then blast through each train car, eventually reaching the Badnik and the conductor.

The train Badnik then reveals how it just wanted to be forever friends with the conductor and was enraged when it realized that the conductor “abandoned” it, so it decided to deliver Sonic and co. to Eggman to get its reward - being forever together with the conductor. 

Damn, this game makes me actually feel bad for a train.

Sonic has none of it, calling the train selfish for doing this at the expense of everyone, and with the help of his friends, he manages to hit the train, allowing for Espio to grab the Flicky and Amy to smash the train.

Once things calm down and everyone’s outside the train, Sonic reveals the cake he had bought, with everyone wishing Amy Happy Birthday.

As for Eggman, he figures out that his plans have been foiled once again, but more importantly - SAGE CAMEO!!! And she and Metal Sonic are wearing “Let’s Go Dad!” T-shirts, that’s so adorable! (I suppose this also means this story takes place after Sonic Frontiers.)

So, yeah, this was The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, and it’s amazing! My only complaint here is that Silver is missing, but otherwise, I love it. Like I said before, we really need more games where we get to interact with Sonic’s friends.

#Sonic Cyber Revolution Analyzer (Masterlist)

[robsterskellington]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Oh, boy. Okay, this will take a hot minute, but thank you, I appreciate the question. None of these are in order, they're just my favourites.

1. Bungou Stray Dogs- Confession: I grew up hating manga and anime because in high school, I had friends obsessed with them, and they tried forcing me to watch them and read them, then they got angry when I had no interest. But with BSD, my younger cousin just needed someone to talk to about it, and I wasn't about to be rude, especially when he made it sound so interesting! I got Covid and had to take some time off work, so I gave it a shot- the characters were interesting, the dialogue was hilarious and the story kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. I caught up with the manga, and thankfully got into the franchise in time to watch seasons 4 and 5. I'm also working on a couple BSD fanfics with my cousin, they're just taking a while lol

2. Hollow Knight- I don't take recommendations for anything, like if someone tells me "You should watch ****", or "I recommend ****", my mind goes "Well, I know what I'm avoiding for the next several years!" Hollow Knight was a little different because my best friend spoke highly of it, and said that it would definitely be my kinda game. He was absolutely right, I have well over 550 hours on it, and I'm really good at the game. Still haven't beaten the Pantheon of Hallownest, though. The art is beautiful, the music is phenomenal, and I love the challenging Boss fights.

3. Sonic the Hedgehog- while I'm absolutely aware that a lot of the games are trash, the comics can be a bit of a mess, and the shows are... actually no, the shows are pretty good and I LOVED the movies, really looking forward to the third one. I binge watched Sonic Prime yesterday and loved it. But Sonic is what got me through high school, I love the fast paced gameplay, the stories were always interesting to me, and the characters were always able to make me smile, even on the worst days. Admittedly, though, I tend to like the games that people hated most: Sonic Unleashed would be my favourite Sonic game, because I loved the fast day stages, and I loved beating the everloving life out of enemies at nighttime. I enjoyed all the stupid glitches in 06, and I actually really liked playing as Silver because I had a better grip on his controls. Because I grew up playing on my DS the most, Rush, Rush Adventure, Colours DS and Chronicles were the Sonic games I played most, and Chronicles was easily my favourite, I liked the RPG style and the larger cast of characters to use.

4. Mario and Luigi/Paper Mario- since both of these are in the same franchise, I'll stick these two together, especially since I like them for near enough the same reasons. Each new villain that the games brought out always made me grin, I have a soft spot for both Fawful and Dimentio, though I love Antasma as well. The stories were really good, like Super Paper Mario made me cry quite a bit. I loved the RPG gameplay that most of these games had, I've always been great with my timing unless it's a Boss, in which case I always screw up somehow. The music is amazing, the stories are incredible and I love the humour. For both, my favourites would be Bowser's Inside Story and Super Paper Mario.

5. The Case Study of Vanitas- okay, so while BSD is absolutely my favourite anime, it wasn't the first one my cousin got me invested in, that would go to this one. The story was fascinating to me, I loved all the characters (except Moreau, he can die painfully, please), and it inspired another fic that my cousin and I wrote together. I enjoyed the character interactions and how much each of them grew in their own ways, as well as just how they all know how to do things while trusting each other. Does that make sense? Probably not, I'm ill and I'm rambling lol

6. The Nightmare Before Christmas- I never watched this movie until I was in college, and I only knew the basic premise because of Kingdom Hearts, but when an ex-friend of mine lent me her DVD of the movie, I was in love. The story was simple, but interesting. If I'd watched it as a child, Oogie Boogie would have absolutely scared the living daylights out of me, I still have a bit of a phobia of bugs and I can't understand why when they're relatively harmless where I live. This was the only Disney movie where I had actively learned to sing ALL of the songs. I haven't watched the movie in a while, so I should get back on that. Oh, and if anyone asks "Do you watch it on Halloween or Christmas?" The answer is both: it is both a Halloween and Christmas movie, though you could also watch it on Easter if you wanted to, just use the excuse that the Easter Bunny makes a brief cameo, making it an Easter movie for a few moments.

7. Five Nights at Freddy's- this was something a lot of my high school "friends" tried forcing me to like by making me play it without giving me any context, but I ended up liking on my own by watching YouTube videos in my own time away from them. I understand that the timeline is so convoluted that even MatPat seems to be struggling to make it all fit, but I've always found the overall mystery fascinating and the character designs are really cool. Springtrap used to make me more nervous than any of the Nightmare Animatronics, although that could just be the knowledge that the Nightmares are an illusion while Springtrap had a rotten corpse inside it. Obviously I know that the newer games are a bit more broken, but I still love them. After all, without Security Breach, we wouldn't have Sunny and Moon, and I'd argue that a few people on Tumblr's lives have gotten better from their existence alone.

8. Bendy and the Ink Machine/Bendy and the Dark Revival- this is the only series of horror games I can play without having a full on panic attack, so that gives it a few points. I'll ignore whatever nonsense is going on with the books and a will remain unnamed co-creator, because I am the sort of person who will separate a creation from creator. I won't let someone ruin something I love for any reason. Anyway, I always found that the premise was interesting, I liked the artstyle and loved the characters. The voice acting, character models and the little combat we had were all excellent. I do like how Dark Revival took the story, but I admit that I haven't played that yet, because I'm hoping it'll come out on the Switch eventually, since that's what I played Ink Machine on. Oh, and I'll be honest when I say that when the pandemic first started, I read a lot of the fanfics people created on this franchise, and it was because of them that I got this Tumblr account in the first place.

9. Kingdom Hearts- this was actually the first game I ever played on a console that wasn't handheld; my older half-brother came to stay with us when I was really young and he wanted to bond with me, so we played Kingdom Hearts together. I sorta remembered the game in college and watched all the games on YouTube before buying a PS4 with my first work paycheck and then buying the Final Mix games. Again, convoluted story, but I don't care. I love the characters, all the different worlds you can explore, how different the battle system is. I never played or watched any of the Final Fantasy games, so I don't know much about their characters, but Cloud has always interested me for some reason? Anyway, I loved the bond that Sora, Donald and Goofy (in that order), have together, and being able to watch them grow as friends and as a team, saving all the Disney worlds makes me feel like a child again.

10. Spy X Family- this anime, I actually did watch on my own, purely because I saw an ad for it and thought "This looks cute, let's see if it actually is!" And yes, it was. My cousin was so happy that I watched it because he wasn't sure if I'd like something relatively soft, compared to BSD, and I unintentionally got my best friend to watch it, when I talked to him about it. Now we're all looking forward to the new movie and new season! The characters are all quirky in their own ways, the story doesn't take itself too seriously while also fitting in dramatic moments and even some emotional ones. Anya is a precious cinnamon roll and literally everyone should protect her.

TL;DR, if I had to pick a top 10 things I like, in no particular order, it's Bungou Stray Dogs, Hollow Knight, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario and Luigi/Paper Mario, The Case Study of Vanitas, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Five Nights at Freddy's, Bendy and the Ink Machine/Bendy and the Dark Revival, Kingdom Hearts, and Spy X Family.

Okay, thank you for that question and I'm so sorry if you regret asking because I have no idea how to shut up when I start lol

[unforeseen-idiot]

Shovelwarewolf Season 2 Review

Shovelwarewolf Season 2 Electric boogaloo, or the season where stuff finally goes down. I love that the story and production value jump in quality with each other in this season.

Sonic 06: Great episode to open with, we meet Susan (who definitely knows more than they're letting on), a cool season theme, acknowledgement (however brief) of the whole arm thing, and an Escape From the City parody, what's not to love.

Goldeneye: Solid episode, I think it has some of SWW's best one liners (Hell's Angels, The Mafia, GAMESTOP!). I learned to never insult Judy Dench, and that I should probably watch a James Bond movie.

Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Another fine episode, Ivan mimicking the glitch was pretty funny. I don't have a whole lot to say about this episode so I'll just write here that Ivan and Susan have a great banter, and that Susan was just a great addition to begin with, but I'll get to that later. Oh and Test Your Patience was a good capper on the episode.

Duke Nukem: Just getting this out of the way, this game is pure trash but SWW's reactions are too funny. I also like the character development at the beginning with Ivan and Susan, she really was just the only one who was nice to him. Also I don't know why this occurs to me, but the company described the next game as, "A console with a Zelda game" I just remembered that the Switch came out with Breath of the Wild in the same year as this season, I don't know how that's relevant, I just thought it was cool.

Legend of Zelda Wand of Gamelon: Oho what an episode, great gameplay, great story, and great one liners. Susan got to be really cool in this episode, which leads me to believe that she definitely planned this in advance and the therapist bit was an act (she went from running from the room during a transformation to bursting in and rescuing Ivan/SWW without batting an eye in the same day, no way that just happened). I also just love this game's stupid clips and the SWW one liners to go with them: "(Recorder noise) THANKS, (same recorder noise) THANKS...FOR NOTHING" "You've killed me, GOOD. Dang, that's savage, who knew Zelda was such an OG" and "Link gave them to me. GASP! YOU KNOW LINK, LIKE OMG" such good writing. and The Shovelwarewolf's a Running is amazing.

Home Alone: Finally we've reached the finale, pretty great all things considered. First I just want to acknowledge this little scene from Death's narration, "With the help of his therapist" while panning on cool bada** Susan, just funny to me. I'd also like to acknowledge Ivan's TV playing AJ and Nate's weird Spider-Man and Batman Save Christmas Movie, wish they'd finish that someday it looked cool. I love the Home Alone parody for the cool ways it adapts the theme, like the Gamecube trap. Santa just having 180 in terms of character and going on a full fledged villain arc is so hilarious. The game itself is weirdly a cool take on a Home Alone game, like most licensed games at the time would take tons of liberties with the source material but this one was pretty accurate, even if it still sucked. Susan got to be cool again, but at the cost of a very forlorn scene. Oh boy now we get to meet our dude Biffalo Bub, simultaneously RE's most stupid but also most realistically scary villain. That silent clip montage at the end still unsettles me.

Music Rating:

Season 2 Opening: One of the best, that opening bass riff is still so mesmerizing. And the violins, and the soft piano, and the synth, oh so good. This opening feels a lot like a triumphant return for the character.

Season 2 Transformation: Conversely this variation of the transformation doesn't really do it for me. I like the way it closes I guess, but I just don't love it. It also has this weird repeating note that just bores into my skull.

SHOVELWAREWOLF! (Test Your Patience): Pretty good parody, I love the recap of the games he's played so far (except Goldeneye for some reason).

Shovelwarewolf's a-Runnin': Great parody, it introduced me to the Werewolves of London. I love it's use in the show and the vocals.

This is My Safehouse: Great composition for the Home Alone episode. Seriously AJ really flexed his composing powers here. The synth is really great, I love the little incorporation of the transformation theme.

Sleigh-Riding Sleazebag: Not much to say on the song other than the title, and it's use of random Christmas carols, but evil.

Couch Gag: I love this gag, Ivan dubbing over game footage is so funny. Like the last one it makes me think of him being so bored he just does stuff like this to pass the time. This time I'm happy he didn't have one for Wand of Gamelon, I feel like the dialogue in that game stand on its own.

The season is so good. It gave us a great SWW mask, a great character in the form of Susan, and excellent story development. And it only gets better from here. In addition, while others have described it better than me, this season has interesting symbolism in obsession and trauma.

[nomariafantasies]

You started this

Oh let me put you into a reality check here:

You are the one why said "i dont care about powerscaling, as long as good writing exist", You are the one who keep aswering unintelligently to my tweet every single time, you're the one who brought powerscaling to real world.

All i did is answer your question, but you stubbornly denied everything i talked and even said isekai is trash and pre genesis is trash because you do not want to understand my point. I already said this before, pre genesis archie sonic is filled with drama and nonsense but the lore is consistent, and isekai is filled with harem cliche but the powerscaling are lore are consistent. But you clearly forgot that there are plenty of good isekai stories out there.

I remember the cute moment between krillen and ssj goku, well if thats true then why can Goku's base form tank bullets and not get hurt yet he got by a rock while in a ssj1 form?

You also blocked me after with all of this denial you posted on twitter, why? because you lost against me and feared that Ian Flynn is getting critisized as if he is your idol.

Just stop and accept this fact, this is the reality check you and flynn really need here.

It's Day 4 and this incel is still making whole essays about how mad he is that he can't powerscale, that powerscaling is only for people who having negative media literacy, and that his wish-fulfillment isekai is actually fucking terrible. Like, amazing. "Isekai is garbage with no appeal but Self Insert-kun can beat Goku so it's good".

He talks so much shit but he's too scared to even post this in public, it's hilarious.

[lunas-slave]

Okay gonna post this here cuz I don't think anyone I know here and irl will care, and I don't think I gave anyone my Tumblr this weekend. So ima rant under the cut about a boy I met this weekend that I fell in love with

So this weekend I went to sonic temple, a music festival in ohio. First day, this guy compliments my outfit (cuz I was looking bangin) and we ended up talking about a few things and before I knew it, my next band started to play at the stage one over. So I run over cuz I love these guys, and the crowd is huge and I won't be able to get up. So I accept that and go back to the guy and his friends cuz I can still hear it but now I can be with people and talk. I tell him I'm sad I can't get closer and he just smiles and says "you want in? Come with me", holds out his hand, and drags me into the middle of the crowd. We stays with me and were jumping and dancing and he doesn't know this band but he's vibing. And then they play a cover of Everytime We Touch. He looks at me "they are not". I laugh cuz he's so shocked "they are!" We both start scream singing the lyrics and it's amazing. The band ends their set but I don't wanna leave the guy, he's real nice and cute too. And he let me tag along for the day.

His friends wanted to see other things so me and him kinda went off on our own for the rest of it. We ended up sitting for the last band of the day (Disturbed) and talking and he says "I don't wanna sound like a dirtbag, but do you wanna make out?" Ofc I say yes, cuz he's cute as fuck and we just rocked out to Judas priest together. It was a really fun way to listen to disturbed, gotta say. Really hard to stop myself from singing along. At one point he pulls away and in the softest tone possible at a metal show, goes "woo" after a song ends. It was adorable and hilarious. I did make an offhanded mention of not smoking (bitch lungs) or drinking beer (cuz of the taste), so he gets a fucking white claw so he doesnt taste like beer when we kiss. Considerate asshole. We end the night at the car he came with his friends in, and I got his insta and we had a kiss goodbye with a promise to hang the next day.

The next day, we find each other and it was spent with the friends a lot more but they still let me tag along, and I was super grateful. They were trashed and I helped the guy look after them and we had a lot of fun seeing the different bands and talking between sets. At this point I'm like 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘈𝘋𝘏𝘋 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩, 𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘢 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘪𝘵𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘺𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 but that didn't work because that night we saw The Misfits, a band he loves, and he was so damned cute jumping around and singing and head banging and I couldn't stop smiling and watching him. He went crowd surfing and I just watched with a smile and I couldnt even see that well but my eyes were looking for a glimpse of him over the tops of the mass of people. Full blown crush at this point. By now we already established that he's poly and some flavor of fruity thats attracted to my flavor of fruity so my delulu little brain said 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, no bitch it can't. Anyway, after the crowd surf, we find out one of the friends lost the guys wallet. We look and ask, but no luck. The friend feels awful and works herself up so bad she throws up. We talk it over, we'll look at lost and found and check in the morning too. We go to leave and this time the friends offer to take me back to my hotel so I go with them. Me and the guy spend the whole time making out in the back seat (after he asked if they minded). It was so fun. A very fun time was had.

The next morning I check the festival app and they have the wallet, I message the guy and he's so relieved, we don't know whats in it but the ID at least since his name is listed. I'm already there and he's out tailgating and when he says he's on his way in, I meet him by the L&F and he gets his wallet back (with everything in it, we were so amazed, metal and rock fans are so damn good) and he grabs my face and kisses me and calls me an angel and I just ☺ I died. It was great. We don't meet up with his friends right away, we go to a different couple places, kiss a few times, the day goes on in a similar way of me following him to where he wants, except for when I wanted to see sleep token. He doesn't listen to them I don't think but he stayed with me even though we had a small group of other people at this point. I was really happy. (And my delulu was feeling validated). Again, they take me to my hotel after a late night drive thru snack, and I get a sweet little goodnight kiss. I'm floating at this point, full adoration.

Last day of the festival, I'm bummed cuz this is my last day to make out with a fucking hottie. But so excited cuz fucking slipknot was the final act and you can't be too bummed when you're gonna see fucking SLIPKNOT. So we again, spend the day walking around, drinking, kissing. Slipknot starts and we're in a thinner section of the crowd when he lights a cigarette. He was blowing the smoke up, to be considerate again, and he was been looking so damn hot all day, and I was a little drunk at this point. He puts out the cigarette and I grab him and aggressively kiss him, like, I was not able to resist his stupid little face. He seemed a little taken aback since he 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 put the thing out and I lean up to say (arguably the hottest thing ive ever said) "I said I didn't smoke, I never said I didnt like the taste". I think I killed him for a second, and if that didn't do it for my ego. We aggressively made out for like half a song before getting pulled by the friends deeper into the crowd. The music was great, the people were loud, we were dancing and singing and screaming. The one friend just fucking takes off so we go running after her and she finds the pit. We join in. Some more than others. The guy hands me his glasses. He's off. A second pit joins, people are doing figure 8s between the two and I see him running and pushing people and laughing and my heart is so fucking done over this guy. The band ends their set, the crowd disperses, we make our way to their car. They can't take me back this time (NBD) and this is my last goodbye with this guy. We softly kiss and hug and hold each other and say how happy we were to have met each other, how thankful he was that I helped wrangle his friends, how much better he made the experience for me, sappy shit like that. And off they went.

Now, why is this such a sad thing? Just date the guy! Well I would but he lives in Canada. As I have stated before on my page(I really don't think anyone is reading this wall of garbage it's just for me) I live in Indiana. The USA. I have not traveled more than one state away, let alone another country. I'm weak dude, Ill die. And also, LDR don't work with ADHD. But then I discovered, he's aro! So like, does he even date? Idk and I'm too scared to ask cuz this wasn't anything serious and I don't wanna make it seem like I misunderstood what he was looking for. I knew from the start. This is his slut boy summer and I was just a fun start. But still my damn brain decided to latch onto this one. I know I could have been up front about the obsession forming and let him decide on his own, knowing that I was gonna be weird about it in my head. But I didnt wanna deal with possible rejection, so I kept it to myself, knowing fully well that it would hurt me in the end. And it is hurting. I miss him. I'm glad it happened tho.

I just didn't have anywhere else to put this so im just gonna shove it out for the world to see. (And if he sees this like he saw the message I sent him instead of my discord lamenting how it was my last day to kiss the cutie and I needed vibes, I will perish)

[skaruresonic]

"Sometimes, pure good heroes kill" - so you agree, the heroes kill sometimes.

I don't know why people keep adding the "only when it's necessary" qualifier as if it matters. Dead is dead. The beings Sonic killed can't un-die just because his hands were tied.

Also, I wonder if they realize their argument essentially boils down to the slippery slope fallacy. Once Sonic starts killing, he'll somehow become addicted and won't stop, as if he has no reason or restraint. This is the same dude who didn't even notice Dark Gaia's corrupting influence because he's so pure of heart and strong of will. You're seriously arguing that he'll become hooked on killing once he gets a single taste.

Yeah. Okay.

We know the notion is bullshit because despite IDW's insistence that Sonic is trigger-happy when it comes to Eggman robots, Games!Sonic doesn't automatically trash all of them the moment he claps eyes on them (see: Battle, where he assumes Emerl is an Eggman robot but his first instinct at seeing it washed up on the beach is to ask if it's okay and can walk).

It's hilarious that they used the example of Superman and not Games!Sonic, because they don't have any examples of Games!Sonic to provide, because Games!Sonic doesn't act like this.

---

"...but what if they did do a storyline in which they meet an alternate version of Sonic that DID cross the dreaded line and became pure evil as a result, then they'll be glad that THEIR Sonic didn't cross said line."

1.) Pure evil, eh? Not like. Morally gray, an antihero, or even 60/40 evil/good. Killing once will forever and irreparably stain your immortal soul.

Also, you just got done arguing that even "pure good" heroes kill out of necessity, but now you're saying a Sonic who "crosses the line" will turn "pure evil"? Consistency whomst?

2.) Games!Sonic doesn't mind playing the role of the villain every once in a while, so your point is moot.

3.) They already tried this. He's called Scourge, and he fails as Sonic's foil because he does not accurately reflect Sonic's character and nothing about his backstory makes sense. He hails from a world where allegedly everybody is born evil - which renders the idea of a Sonic who had "one bad day" automatically moot - and despite killing his own father out of boredom, can't muster the balls to kill his enemy's father because he said some mean things to me uwu. Peak insight into Games!Sonic's psychology, 10/10 would principles again

4.) Okay, so IDW!Sonic never crosses "the line." Reflect on this for a moment. Do you really think the other characters worshiping him for his morals will do anything except feed that awful God complex of his? He already believes that there's "a problem" with giving people a choice. He already thinks he's the supreme arbiter of what people are allowed to do.

Proving him right by having the other characters justify his behavior with slippery slope fallacies will only make him dig his heels in and continue to feel righteous in treating his friends like crap over his principles.

Sonic might not ever cross that line

Except he does and has. Watch the video before commenting, idiot.

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in May

Sadly, I kind of skipped writing a post for April. It was a mad month with so much going on: lots of emails sent and lots of stress. I started a new job so I’m getting to grips with that... and even then, I still watched a bunch of movies. But this is about what I watched in May and, yeah… still a bunch. So if you’re looking to get into some other movies - possibly some you’ve thought about watching but didn’t know what they were like, or maybe like the look of something you’ve never heard of - then this may help! So here’s every film I watched from the 1st to the 31st of May 2021 Tenet (2020) - 8/10 This was my third time watching Christopher Nolan’s most Christopher Nolan movie ever and it makes no sense but I still love it. The spectacle of it all is truly like nothing I’ve ever seen. I had also watched it four days prior to this watch also, only this time I had enabled audio description for the visually impaired, thinking it would make it funny… It didn’t.

Nomadland (2020) - 6/10 Chloé Zhao’s new movie got a lot of awards attention. Everyone was hyped for this and when it got put out on Disney+ I was eager to see what all the fuss was about. Seeing these real nomads certainly gave the film an authenticity, along with McDormand’s ever-praisable acting. But generally I found it quite underwhelming and lacking a lot in its pacing. Nomadland surely has its moments of captivating cinematography and enticing commentary on the culture of these people, but it felt like it went on forever without any kind of forward direction or goal. The Prince of Egypt (1998) - 6/10 I reviewed this on my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. For what it is, it’s pretty fun but nowhere near as good as some of the best DreamWorks movies.

Chinatown (1974) - 8/10 What a fantastic and wonderfully unpredictable mystery crime film! I regret to say I’ve not seen many Jack Nicholson performances but he steals the show. Despite Polanski’s infamy, it’d be a lie to claim this wasn’t truly masterful. Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Admittedly I was half asleep as I curled up on the sofa to watch this again on a whim. I watched this with someone who demanded the dubbed version over the subtitled version and while I objected heavily, I knew I’d seen the movie before so it didn’t matter too much. That person also fell asleep about 20 minutes in, so how pointless an argument it was. Howl’s Moving Castle boasts superb animation, the likes of which I’ve only come to expect of Miyazaki. The story is so unique and the colours are absolutely gorgeous. This may not be my favourite from the legendary director but there’s no denying its splendour.

Bāhubali: The Beginning (2015) - 3/10 The next morning I watched some absolute trash. This crazy, over the top Indian movie is hilarious and I could perhaps recommend it if it weren’t so long. That being said, Bāhubali was not a dumpster fire; it has a lot of good-looking visual effects and it’s easy to see the ambition for this epic story, it just doesn’t come together. There’s fun to be had with how the main character is basically the strongest man in the world and yet still comes across as just a lucky dumbass, along with all the dancing that makes no sense but is still entertaining to watch. Seven Samurai (1954) - 10/10 If it wasn’t obvious already, Seven Samurai is a masterpiece. I reviewed this on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, so more thoughts can be found there. Red Road (2006) - 6/10 Another recommendation on episode 30 of the podcast. Red Road really captures the authentic British working class experience. Before Sunrise (1995) - 10/10 One of the best romances put to film. The first in Richard Linklater’s Before Trilogy is undoubtedly my favourite, despite its counterparts being almost equally as good. It tells the story of a young couple travelling through Europe, who happen to meet on a train and spend the day together. It is gloriously shot on location in Vienna and features some of the most interesting dialogue I’ve ever seen put to film. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Tokyo Story (1953) - 9/10 This Japanese classic - along with being visually and sonically masterful - is a lot about appreciating the people in your life and taking the time to show them that you love them. It’s about knowing it’s never too late to rekindle old relationships if you truly want to, which is something I’ve been able to relate to in recent years. It broke my heart in two. Tokyo Story will make you want to call your mother. Before Sunset (2004) - 10/10 Almost a decade after Sunrise, Sunset carries a sombre yet relieving feeling. Again, the performances from Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke take me away, evoking nostalgic feelings as they stroll through the contemporary Parisian streets. There is no regret in me for buying the Criterion blu-ray boxset for this trilogy. Before Midnight (2013) - 10/10 Here, Linklater cements this trilogy as one of the best in film history. It’s certainly not the ending I expected, yet it’s an ending I appreciate endlessly. Because it doesn’t really end. Midnight shows the troubling times of a strained relationship; one that has endured so long and despite initially feeling almost dreamlike in how idealistically that first encounter was portrayed, the cracks appear as the film forces you to come to terms with the fact that fairy-tale romances just don’t exist. Relationships require effort and sacrifice and sometimes the ones that truly work are those that endure through all the rough patches to emerge stronger. The Holy Mountain (1973) - 10/10 Jodorowsky’s masterpiece is absolute insanity. I talked more about it on The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) - 10/10 Another watch for Grand Budapest because I bought the Criterion blu-ray. As unalterably perfect as ever. Blue Jay (2016) - 6/10 Rather good up to a point. My co-hosts and I did not agree on how good this movie was, which is a discussion you can listen to on my podcast. Shadow and Bone: The Afterparty (2021) - 3/10 For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed the first season of Shadow and Bone, which is why I wanted to see what ‘The Afterparty’ was about. This could have been a lot better and much less annoying if all those terrible comedians weren’t hosting and telling bad jokes. I don’t want to see Fortune Feimster attempt to tell a joke about oiling her body as the cast of the show sit awkwardly in their homes over Zoom. If it had simply been a half hour, 45 minute chat with the cast and crew about how they made the show and their thoughts on it, a lot of embarrassment and time-wasting could have been spared. Wadjda (2012) - 6/10 Another recommendation discussed at length on The Sunday Movie Marathon. Wadjda was pretty interesting from a cultural perspective but largely familiar in terms of story structure.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) - 2/10 A truly terrible movie with maybe one or two scenes that stop it from being a complete catastrophe. Tom Green tried to create something that almost holds a middle finger to everyone who watches it and to some that could be a fun experience, but to me it just came across as utterly irritating. It’s simply a bunch of scenes threaded together with an incredibly loose plot. He wears the skin of a dead deer, smacks a disabled woman over and over again on the legs to turn her on, and he swings a newborn baby around a hospital room by its umbilical cord (that part was actually pretty funny). I cannot believe I watched this again, although I think I repressed a lot of it since having seen it for the first time around five years ago. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 - (2011) I have to say, these movies seem to get better with each instalment. They’re still not very good though. That being said, I’m amazed at how many times I’ve watched each of the Twilight movies at this point. This time around, I watched Breaking Dawn - Part 1 with a YMS commentary track on YouTube and that made the experience a lot more entertaining. Otherwise, this film is super dumb but pretty entertaining. I would recommend watching these movies with friends. Solaris (1972) - 8/10 Andrei Tarkovsky’s grand sci-fi epic about the emotional crises of a crew on the space station orbiting the fictional planet Solaris is much as strange and creepy as you might expect from the master Russian auter. I had wanted to watch this for a while so I bought the Criterion blu-ray and it’s just stunning. It’s clear to see the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspiration but Solaris is quite a different beast entirely. Jaws (1975) - 4/10 I really tried to get into this classic movie, but Jaws exhibits basically everything I don’t like about Steven Spielberg’s directing. For sure, the effects are crazily good but the story itself is poorly handled and largely uninteresting. It was just a massive slog to get through.

Darkman (1990) - 6/10 Sam Raimi’s superhero movie is so much fun, albeit massively stupid. Further discussion on Darkman can be found on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Darkman II: The Return of Durant (1995) - 1/10 Abysmal. I forgot the movie as I watched it. This was part of a marathon my friends and I did for episode 32 of our podcast. Darkman III: Die Darkman Die (1996) - 1/10 Perhaps this trilogy is not so great after all. Only marginally better than Darkman II but still pretty terrible. More thoughts on episode 32 of my podcast. F For Fake (1973) - 8/10 Rewatching this proved to be a worthwhile decision. Albeit slightly boring, there’s no denying how crazy the story of this documentary about art forgers is. The standout however, is the director himself. Orson Welles makes a lot of this film about himself and how hot his girlfriend is and it is hilarious.

The Mitchells vs. The Machines (2021) - 4/10 More style over substance, Sony’s new animated adventure wants so much to be in trend with the current internet culture but it simply doesn’t understand what it’s emulating. There’s a nyan cat reference, for crying out loud. For every joke that works, there are about ten more that do not and were it not for the wonderful animation, it simply wouldn’t be getting so much praise. Taxi Driver (1976) - 10/10 The first movie I’ve seen in a cinema since 2020 and damn it was good to be back! I’ve already reviewed Taxi Driver in my March wrap-up but seeing it in the cinema was a real treat. Irreversible (2002) - 8/10 One of the most viscerally horrendous experiences I’ve ever had while watching a movie. I cannot believe a friend of mine gave me the DVD to watch. More thoughts on episode 32 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast. Don’t watch it with the family. The Golden Compass (2007) - 1/10 I had no recollection of this being as bad as it is. The Golden Compass is the definition of a factory mandated movie. Nothing it does on its own is worth any kind of merit. I would say, if you wanted an experience like what this tries to communicate, a better option by far is the BBC series, His Dark Materials. More of my thoughts can be found in the review I wrote on Letterboxd.

Antichrist (2009) - 8/10 Lars von Trier is nothing if not provocative and I can understand why someone would not like Antichrist, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. After watching it, I wrote a slightly disjointed summary of my interpretations of this highly metaphorical movie in the group chat, so fair warning for a bit of spoilers and graphic descriptions: It's like, the patriarchy, man! Oppression! Men are the rational thinkers with big brains and the women just cry and be emotional. So she's seen as crazy when she's smashing his cock and driving a drill through his leg to keep him weighted down. Like, how does he like it, ya know? So then she mutilates herself like she did with him and now they're both wounded, but the animals crowd around her (and the crow that he couldn't kill because it's Mother nature, not Father nature, duh). Then he kills her, even though she could've killed him loads of times but didn't. So it's like "haha big win for the man who was subjected to such horrific torture. Victory!" And then all the women with no faces come out of the woods because it's like a constant cycle. Manchester By The Sea (2016) - 6/10 Great performances in this super sad movie. I can’t say I got too much out of it though. Roar (1981) - 9/10 Watching Roar again was still as terrifying an experience as the first time. If you want to watch something that’s loose on plot with poor acting but with real big cats getting in the way of production and physically attacking people, look no further. This is the scariest movie I’ve ever seen because it’s all basically real. Cannot recommend it enough. Eyes Without A Face (1960) - 8/10 I’m glad I checked this old French movie out again. There’s a lot to marvel at in so many aspects, what with the premise itself - a mad surgeon taking the faces from unsuspecting women and transplanting them onto another - being incredibly unique for the time. Short, sweet and entertaining!

Se7en (1995) - 10/10 The first in a David Fincher marathon we did for The Sunday Movie Marathon, episode 33. Zodiac (2007) - 10/10 Second in the marathon, as it was getting late, we decided to watch half that evening and the last half on the following evening. Zodiac is a brilliant movie and you can hear more of my thoughts on the podcast (though I apologise; my audio is not the best in this episode). Gone Girl (2014) - 10/10 My favourite Fincher movie. More insights into this masterpiece in episode 33 of the podcast. Friends: The Reunion (2021) - 6/10 It was heartwarming to see the old actors for this great show together again. I talked about the Friends reunion film at length in episode 33 of my podcast.

Wolfwalkers (2020) - 10/10 I reviewed this in an earlier post but would like to reiterate just how wonderful Wolfwalkers is. If you get the chance, please see it in the cinema. I couldn’t stop crying from how beautiful it was. Raya and The Last Dragon (2021) - 6/10 After watching Wolfwalkers, I decided I didn’t want to go home. So I had lunch in town and booked a ticket for Disney’s Raya and The Last Dragon. A child was coughing directly behind me the entire time. Again, I reviewed this in an earlier post but generally it was decent but I have so many problems with the execution. The Princess Bride (1987) - 9/10 Clearly I underrated this the last time I watched it. The Princess Bride is warm and hilarious with some delightfully memorable characters. A real classic!

The Invisible Kid (1988) - 1/10 About as good as you’d expect a movie with that name to be, The Invisible Kid was a pick for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 34. Babel (2006) - 9/10 The same night that I watched The Invisible Kid, I watched a masterful and dour drama from the director of Birdman and The Revenant. Babel calls back to an earlier movie of Iñárritu’s, called Amores Perros and as I was informed while we watched this for the podcast, it turns out Babel is part of a trilogy alongside the aforementioned film. More thoughts in episode 34 of the podcast. Snake Eyes (1998) - 1/10 After feeling thoroughly emotionally wiped out after Babel, we immediately watched another recommendation for the podcast: Snake Eyes, starring Nicolas Cage. This was a truly underwhelming experience and for more of a breakdown into what makes this movie so bad, you can listen to us talk about it on the podcast.

[medea10]

My Review of Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni GOU

(a.k.a. When They Cry Gou)

I know what you’re thinking. Why the heck am I reviewing this anime again? I’ve already written a review in 2009 and re-polished it in 2016. (Here it is BTW) I’ve made my point on who I like, hate, what ships are worthy, and poked fun at all the deaths that happened throughout the series. I think some time has passed that I should say some thoughts on this…um, story. After all, Higurashi is one of my favorite animes.

STORY: Ah shit, here we go again!

Higurashi or When They Cry is about a boy named Keiichi Maebara who recently moved to a place called Hinamizawa. And ever since moving to this town, he’s found his days are filled with fun mischief with fellow friends Rena Ryuuguu, Satoko Hojo, Mion Sonozaki, and Rika Furude. But little does Keiichi know that there’s a little murder mystery that surrounds the town. During a town festival known as Watanagashi (or Cotton Drifting), there’s usually one or two people that go missing or turn up dead. And this year, Keiichi is next. So let’s relive the horrors that plague the town of Hinamizawa and…

One episode later.

Wait, what the…?! It’s episode 2, why are we seeing Hanyuu? I don’t remember that in the manga. The visual! THE VISUAL! WHAT THE FUCK?! ISN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A REBOOT? WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY IS THERE AN ADULT RIKA?! WAIT, IS THAT ADULT RIKA OR BERN? IS THIS GOING TO BE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE TO THE WITCHES OF UMINEKO?! THE SHADOWS IN THE OPENING ARE TOO FAMILIAR FROM OTHER WORKS! Ryukishi07, you magnificent, fucking troll master for keeping this hidden until the second episode’s air date!

Many of us did not see this coming. When they announced a new Higurashi series that was going to be done by a different studio, many of us speculated whether this was going to be a reboot or a sequel. But then we got the PV trailers and it looked like we were going to get a reboot to correct the mistakes Studio Deen made years ago. Rika’s head doesn’t look like its gonna snap off because her body is so small in comparison. Improvements! I mean, they showed everything we were already used to like the yandere girls, the original soundtrack, the original freakin’ cast, and death by baseball bat. Hell, the first episode ended with an Eiko Shimamiya song! It was on track to being a reboot! A better looking reboot!

Here in lies the sequel aspect! After episode one, we get a scene that isn’t usually seen until the Kai part of Higurashi (a good 4-5 arcs away). And they give away the secret that Rika Furude is repeating the timeline of June 1983 over and over because she keeps dying. And as the series progresses, you notice little things different from the original series. Many of the well-known storylines end much differently than what you remember. Instead of Keiichi killing Rena and Mion with a baseball bat, you’ve got Rena going psycho on Keiichi. And Rika’s fate is somehow worse than the stories of the original series. So let’s head back to Hinamizawa to hear the cicadas cry and watch a murder mystery unfold.

THE SUB: All the original voice actors have returned to voice their respected roles. Perfection in a nutshell!

LICENSING: You’ve gotta be shitting me!

As I’ve mentioned years ago in my review, the original Higurashi anime went through a turbulent time being licensed in the states. It was originally licensed and dubbed by Geneon. But once Geneon collapsed, FUNimation licensed it and did absolutely fuck all with it. Geneon could only manage to squeak out one season. At this point, FUNimation was picking up titles that Geneon used to have before it fell under including Familiar of Zero, Kyou Kara Maou, and yes, Higurashi. All of these titles mentioned here were done absolutely nothing with despite having cult followings, second seasons, and OVA’s.

A year or two after licensing it, the license expired for Higurashi. For nearly six years, the only copies you could get were out of print and estimating at $500 at the very least for a full collection. Single DVD’s could be found in rare shops, but it would take like 13 years to complete the fucking collection if you did it that way. And that was only for the first season. Second season, the best all of us could do was bootleg DVD’s from Japan Town or fansubs with glaring errors for the best season to Higurashi. We had to deal with this shit until Sentai Filmworks licensed and released the first 2 seasons and the Rei OVA’s.

AND NOW YOU’RE TELLING ME FUNIMATION IS CLAIMING HIGURASHI ALL FOR THEMSELVES?!

Where the shit was this love 10 years ago when we were asking politely to release Kai? People ignorantly blew Higurashi off for years because season two was never released in the states until 2016 because they thought the damn anime ended after Rena held up the school. I’m already irritated with FUNimation after the Interspecies Reviewers debacle and I’m still quite butt-hurt over them re-releasing Nichijou with a dub to make a quick buck. Licensing Higurashi just brings back old anger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy Higurashi is legally licensed and can be seen on at the very least Hulu. It’s just that I hold grudges and this was a big one.

THE DUB: Holy…um, okay! This is a rather big gulp to take in. As I’ve repeatedly mentioned in past reviews, the Higurashi dub was a mixed bag of okay, bad, and oh gasperts kill it with fire. So, not great! The good folks at Geneon (before bankrupting in America) dubbed the first season with a good chunk of folks that put their fake names to the credits. Again, not great! To me, there were some aspects of Megan Hollingshed, Mela Lee, and Grant George’s performances of Mion, Rena, and Keiichi that were okay. SOME! John Snyder and Karen Strassmen as Ooishi and Takano were the best out of that dub. Everything else was just irredeemable! It needed a redub, an overhaul, and a spit-shine. For years, I’ve wondered who would be the dream cast. Sentai Filmworks unfortunately never dubbed the remaining seasons when they released them. Would Luci Christian be the heavenly voice to do Rika Furude? Could we get Hilary Haag to do Satoko? Okay, that never came to pass.

This dub is a breath of fresh air. Rika doesn’t sound like Mihoshi. Satoko doesn’t sound fake, Keiichi doesn’t sound like a weird Sonic the Hedgehog. It’s perfect. ESPECIALLY BRITTANY LAUDA AS SATOKO! I knew the second she was cast as Satoko that she was going to excel the fuck out of this role. And I was not disappointed! The only voice I’m still not quite used to is Michelle Rojas as the Sonozaki twins. Probably because I was somewhat okay with Megan Hollingshed’s voice in the 2006 version that it’ll take some time! And we FINALLY got a voice for Hanyuu. I am super excited that Xanthe Huynh is the voice and I know she’ll do great with this role! With all of that said, here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

*Keiichi is now played by Khoi Dao (known for Kiriyama on March Comes in Like a Lion, Murata on Demon Slayer, Chaka on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 3, and Iskhan on SAO: Alicization)

*Rena is now played by Emi Lo

*Mion/Shion is now played by Michelle Rojas (known for Shizu Delta on Overlord, Touka on Assassination Classroom, Minase on Psycho Pass, Kanan on Love Live Sunshine, and Kusakai on Keijo!!!!!!!!)

*Rika is now played by Apphia Yu (known for Rio on Assassination Classroom, Marie on Black Clover, You on Love Live Sunshine, Victorique on Gosick, Natsumi on Danganronpa 3, and Laki on Fairy Tail)

*Satoko is now played by Brittany Lauda (known for Riko on Made in Abyss, Meidri on Interspecies Reviewers, Lessar on Index III, and Ichigo on Darling in the FranXX)

*Hanyuu is played by Xanthe Huynh (known for Menma on Anohana, Haru on Persona 5, Hanayo on Love Live, Hidomi on FLCL: Progressive, PallaPalla on Sailor Moon Super S [redub], and Sachi on SAO)

ANY CHANGES IN YOUR HATE-O-RADE:

Okay Medea, let-a-rip!

*inhales and exhales*

Teppei Hojo is trash. He is ultimate trash. This fucker needs to be murdered in every timeline. He is a turd in a Glenn Quagmire shirt. Him and his wife are trash. And when this pile of trash is cheating on that pile of trash, he sleeps with peak trash named Ritsuko. Teppei Hojo needs to die in every timeline. Whenever Keiichi bashes this cum-burger’s head in with a blunt instrument, I scream at the top of my lungs, “DIE SCUM, DIE”! And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING will change my opinion of Teppei Hojo.

Episode 23.

Oh, fuck you Higurashi Gou!

MUSIC: Okay, thank you for proving me wrong. I did not despise the opening theme. Having Higurashi with no Eiko Shimamiya is like having Pokemon with no Rika Matsumoto. Or Rozen Maiden with no ALI PROJECT. But this new opening is fine by my standards.

That’s right, get the niceness of the review before I get angry down below.

THESE TIMELOOPS: Rika tries to find solutions to end her time-loop in June 1983. Much like the original series, we follow stories from the Onikakushi-hen, Watanagashi-hen, and Tatarigoroshi-hen arcs (the first three stories to Higurashi, although now these have different names). However, all of these arcs have different endings. And after a positive turnaround with Satoko escaping from her abusive uncle, shit goes south when Detective Ooishi, who up to this point has never suffered under the Hinamizawa Syndrome or died a painful death goes on a murderous rampage. Higurashi style! That means, he’s after Rika Furude, will slaughter anyone in his way, and scratching his neck because he sees maggots (part of the hallucination effect).

What the shit? Ooishi for the most part has been a great guy. With the exception of the Tatarigoroshi-hen storyline, he was a nice guy! In the limbo with Hanyuu, Rika now remembers who has killed her. Every time Rika dies up to this point, she never remembers who was the cause of her demise. Hanyuu implanted that power to remember the deaths and a clue for Rika to use and then she disappears.

Now seriously, imagine Rika’s plight here. She has been repeating the month of June 1983 for over a hundred years. And each of these times she repeats, she’s horribly murdered. Rika got the shit-end of the deal in the murder department in the original series, including being dissected on while alive. Then, leaving her bloody, naked corpse out in the open of the Oyashiro altar! She’s tired of this shit! She wants to live a happy life away from Hinamizawa. She wants to grow older, become a teenager, and have fun. And this series made it worse by having her die four times in one episode. Not just that, but murdered by the most unexpected people including Akasaka, Chief Kimiyoshi, Mion’s mother Akane, and Keiichi. Keiichi has never killed Rika in any of the timelines up to this point. He has killed Mion and Rena, but never Rika. Keiichi loves Rika! Welcome back to A Million Ways to Die in Hinamizawa.

I’ll just add decapitation, drowning in a lake, set on fire, drowning in a sewage pipe, and death by…um…

Alexa, play Chandelier by Sia.

ENDING: We all know by now that in the original series, Miyo Takano is the betrayer and the reason behind all the murders during the Cotton Drifting Festival. This time, it’s someone closer to Rika that’s causing Rika so much pain. After we watched the worst kinds of murders happen to Rika, the episode after gave us our answer. Satoko, Rika’s friend and confidant is not happy that Rika is turning her back on Oyashiro and Hinamizawa. All the while pulling out her intestines!

Oh Higurashi, don’t stop being gory!

Yes, Satoko is aware of past timelines much like Rika and is almost on a god-like state. So what the hell happened to her? I know Satoko’s past has been a cluster-fuck of horror with her brother disappearing, her parents dying, and every form of abuse from her uncle. But she was able to prevail after all that. After surviving 1983, a lot has changed in Hinamizawa. The three big families of Hinamizawa put an end to the Cotton Drifting Festival and claiming there is no curse of Oyashiro. Mion and Shion moved on and are going to high school. And Rika decides she wants to move away from this village. By attending St. Lucia! And she wants to do this with Satoko.

Oh, if you don’t recall St. Lucia, Shion attended this academy until she escaped during the Meakashi-hen arc. It was also the same school that Ange from Umineko attended. But of course Ange attended it in the 90’s and we are clearly in the 80’s. Moving on!

Rika and Satoko studied their butts off for years and their hard work paid off as both were admitted into St. Lucia. Now Rika was able to prevail and fit in with everyone. Satoko on the other hand couldn’t do the same as her grades took a dip, her manners are atrocious, and she doesn’t seem to fit in with anyone. And this caused a drift between Rika and Satoko! And so during a trip to Hinamizawa, Satoko went to the old shrine where she ended up getting sent to that limbo place Rika and Hanyuu were at many times before. There, she meets Eua (God, I hope that really isn’t her name). She’s much like Hanyuu except a lot more condescending. Oh, and she’s that mysterious shadow during the opening theme. She bestows the power to Satoko of reviving on death and returning to a certain point in time. In the hopes that Satoko is able to stop Rika from going to St. Lucia! But Rika is not going to budge. She wants out of Hinamizawa no matter what. And Satoko just wants to be with her friend no matter what. Satoko is even shown Rika’s past and still no dent in…Okay, this is bugging the fuck outta me. Pause the Ending portion!

MY GRIPES WITH SATOKO: Satoko, girl, the fuck is wrong with you?! I know Rika is like your main chick and everything, but for fuck’s sake loosen the grip you have with Rika. This season has changed you and not for the better. You made a connection with ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS from Hinamizawa. Big connections! At least in the original series you did. Look at your moments with Keiichi and Shion. Are you just going to shove them off? And what really sets me off is that Satoko literally had the opportunity to learn about Rika’s hundred year’s loop of death. And feels nothing about it! Only that it’s a challenge to break her herself! God damn, at the end of season one, Keiichi learned the truth and he was remorseful. This bitch doesn’t care that her friends were murdered in such a way. And Rika’s been shot in the head, had a live dissection performed on her, and other forms of torture…AND IT DOESN’T FAZE SATOKO!

I know in my original Higurashi review, I felt sorry for Satoko as she did seem to get the short-end of the stick living in Hinamizawa. I mean, her parents died right in front of her, she suffered abuse from her uncle, abuse from her aunt, ostrisized by the town for years, and a myriad of all types of shit to befall her. But Higurashi Gou has ruined this character. Rika didn’t really do anything wrong to Satoko. She didn’t snitch on her when Satoko got in trouble. She offered help to Satoko when she thought her grades were slipping. Satoko just held onto this petty vendetta. Satoko acted like Rika sexually assaulted her and have two other people gang rape her while drugging her. Okay, that’s a call for revenge, not your petty shit.

YOU SEE WHERE I’M AT WITH YOU SATOKO?! Your actions are so bad that you have me siding with the protagonist from Redo of Healer.

REDO.

OF.

HEALER!!!

I’m done with you! Girl, bye! We now return you to my talk about the ending already in progress.

BACK TO THE ENDING: Sorry, had to get that off my chest. Yeah, Satoko is leaving a bad impression on many of us who have been following the Higurashi story for years. And it just gets worse as she uses her new power for petty shit and abusing it at that. I mean, we saw Rika use her power in order to find a way to live past June 1983. Satoko is just using that shit to win some games and have things go her way. What else could this series bless us with? How about an epiphany from Teppei Hojo?

What?!

Teppei changes for the better.

What?!

Look, I admit that these moments with Teppei and Satoko were tame compared to the shit she’s pulled in the last several episodes. But this is Teppei Hojo! The same guy that used Satoko as his personal punching bag! The same guy who fleeced Rena’s father! The same guy many of us who cheer every time we see him on a moped because we know someone’s going to bash his head in with a baseball bat. Even my best friend knows how I am with this guy. When she gave me Higurashi free swag, I took everything except for Teppei. I don’t take trash. So seeing him so remorseful makes me…conflicted.

So now Satoko’s got things turned around for her. Her uncle has…changed?! Add to that, her God-like power. Satoko decides to change the past for her own advantage. This includes changing one of the biggest stories in Higurashi Kai with the kids vs. Miyo Takano. If Rika doesn’t experience the pain in those timelines, she won’t think about leaving Hinamizawa. And if she doesn’t leave Hinamizawa, she’ll stay with Satoko forever.

Oh what a tangled web of crazy Higurashi Gou was! I gotta tell you, Higurashi got me excited all the way up until we learn it was Satoko. And then it went straight to Hell. They turned Satoko into a straight-up selfish monster. Totally unlike the Satoko we’ve all grown to love in the original series. Yes, Satoko had those moments where, yeah, you would want to throw a chair at her and beat her ass with it. But that was only temporary! You would always see the good in Satoko despite that mischievous laugh and those episodes in Higurashi Rei. And God help me, I was a shipper of Rika x Satoko 10 years ago. Not a big one, but a supporter of it. Now, I would rather support Amourshipping from Pokemon than root for this. And I despise the living fuck out of Amourshipping. That should tell you something!

If original Satoko were bestowed the powers from Eua, I think things would be different. Satoko would probably use her powers to prevent all the bad stuff from happening to her friends and to her brother Satoshi. I mean, my goodness, not once did I see her think, hey maybe I should find a way to help my ailing brother. Change a few timelines, make him all better! And of course, feel sympathy for Rika’s plight. Do it for Rika’s sake, not your own selfish desires! Rika has died horrificly for hundreds of years. And I seriously just can’t get over Satoko’s reaction to that when she learned the truth. Instead, she wants to treat Rika like a caged bird. Best friend my ass!

Now can Higurashi SOTSU fix the hot mess of Satoko? Time will only tell! And good on them for having Higurashi air in the summertime. Summertime is for Higurashi! Autum is for Umineko. Speaking of, it’s been since 2009. Any chance you want to give Umineko the old reboot or sequel it sorely needs? Oh forget it! My likeness for this season is conflicted. I was annoyed by it, but I didn’t fully hate it. It’s just that last arc with Satoko really burned my beans. And I’m sure a lot of you all feel the same way.

Guys, if you want to watch Higurashi Gou, do yourselves a favor and watch the original series first. Let that swirl around your heads for a while. I know the creator tricked us at the beginning of this series thinking it was going to be an honest-to-God retelling. It is not! It is a sequel. And a sequel that isn’t based off a game or manga of all things. So fans are jumping into this with eyes closed! And if you’re a fan of Satoko Hojo, I’m sorry. I’m just sorry.

If you want to check out Higurashi Gou, it is available to watch on FUNimation and Hulu. But please, if you haven’t watched the original series, go to HI-DIVE now and watch “When They Cry” and “When They Cry Kai”. I think you can manage without watching any of the OVA’s.

I’d rather watch that Kira OVA where the fanservice is thin, you can practically lick off the whipped cream from the Sonozaki’s tit.

That should tell you something if I’m starting to say something nice about Higurashi Kira.

See you in a few months when Higurashi SOTSU comes out.

[solalunar-eclipse]

Scars You Can’t See - Chapter 5

Chapter title: Ready to explode

Word count: about 3800 words (whoa)

Author’s Note: I think it’s about time I gave a shoutout to @teamxdark! Their comments have gotten me to start planning out some of the later chapters (and giving me a lot of inspiration), so I figured they deserved some credit!

And thank you to everyone who’s read this fic so far- every note I get is incredible and I hope you’re all enjoying the ride :)

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Sonic stared blankly at his phone screen for the fifth time this morning. The old texts and the name at the top of the messaging app blurred slightly as his eyes unfocused. He was waiting for...something. What, he wasn’t sure.

That was a lie.

Truthfully, he was hoping that the three little dots showing that someone was typing would appear like a miracle. He knew that wouldn’t happen, though. The hedgehog on the other end of the messages had turned off his phone entirely. Heck, Shadow was literally in hiding. There had been exactly one post on Chatter (which he and Tails totally hadn’t read over and over searching for hidden messages) and that was from Omega.

But chaos, how Sonic wished for just five minutes to talk to him. He hadn’t even realized before now how much he normally texted the hybrid in a day. The hero honestly just messaged whenever he saw something or found a funny joke that he thought Shadow would like. In dealing with his new absence, though, Sonic had come up with an idea to write down whatever it was he’d seen that he figured Shadow would enjoy and save it for later.

He was forced to stop this when he wrote nearly two thousand words’ worth of moments in half an hour.

Sonic cursed all the times he’d taken Shadow’s near-constant presence for granted. The hybrid had always been a punctual texter, despite Rouge’s repeated attempts to convince him that he didn’t have to answer right away. Even when the other hedgehog had been off on a mission, Sonic still had an idea of how long he needed to wait before he could start texting. But now, it could be days, weeks, or even months before he could talk to Shadow freely again.

What if you’ll never hear from him again? a nasty inner voice whispered. What if that call was the last time you got to hear his voice?

Sonic felt his stomach fall through the floor at that idea, before swallowing the sensation and shaking his head. He couldn’t doubt Team Dark like that! They were guaranteed to pull through, and kick G.U.N.’s butt in the process.

Speaking of which…

The hero was pretty angry at G.U.N., and that was actually a big deal for him. Sonic didn’t get angry, except sometimes at Eggman. Even when a bitter detractor had posted a lengthy essay on Chatter explaining exactly why Sonic was (supposedly) a terrible person, he hadn’t reacted in fury- or even close. He’d had his friends’ support, and honestly? He’d pitied the person more than anything. Anyone who was trying to tear others down had probably been hurt pretty badly themselves.

Sonic had even made a meme out of their misspelling of his name- “Sanic” was now a worldwide joke with a hilarious drawing to match.

But now, all he really wanted to do was beat someone up- some robots, some evil agents, whatever- and trash the whole organization until they were all falling over themselves to apologize. The fact that G.U.N. had dared to treat Shadow’s obviously painful past with no kindness whatsoever really got on his nerves. The hybrid had suffered a hundred times over, lost his memory, and even died to save the world, yet he still didn’t get the respect he deserved.

“Uhhh, Sonic? Is everything okay?”

The blue blur jumped, startled out of his spiraling thoughts. He heard a growling noise, and his eyes widened when he realized it was coming from him. Sonic could feel his lips curled back into a snarl and quickly straightened his face out, blinking and clearing his throat. “Yeah! Sorry, Tails…” he said, embarrassed at having been caught in that kind of state. The fox eyed him skeptically. “Really, I’m fine!”

“Are you su-”

“Yeah!” Sonic exclaimed, grinning reassuringly. No point in upsetting others with his own problems, after all. “Everything’s good here, buddy!”

“If you say so…” Tails muttered. He didn’t seem convinced, but accepted it despite this. “Anyway, what I came over to say was: we’re out of groceries- can you head out and get some? I made a list of everything we need, it’s right here!”

Ordinarily, Sonic would’ve complained loudly and with much drama about having to do something so menial as a grocery run when he was a hero, for chaos’ sake. But that wasn’t the case these days. “Sure thing!” Sonic agreed, feeling better already. With a distraction to keep his worries and negative thoughts away, he’d be back to normal in no time. “See ya soon!”

The blue blur dashed out the door- before returning a second later, a sheepish grin on his face. “Forgot the list,” he explained, rushing out again.

With the wind in his quills, it was almost too easy to forget everything that he’d been thinking about just moments before. Sonic grinned properly as he raced across fields and through side streets. This was his element, after all!  He made his way to his and Tails’ favorite grocery store, bounding over obstacles and pulling a few awesome parkour tricks he’d picked up over the years. Shadow had always gotten on their case for not supporting a more local store- this one was a big name, after all- but Sonic had--

He shook his head, walking into the building. No more thoughts like that! There was only so much ruminating on bittersweet memories a guy could do in a day.

His presence here was relatively common, so he didn’t do much more than turn a few heads as he stepped through the automatic doors into the air-conditioned halls of the large grocery store. Sonic forced himself to walk through the aisles (instead of sprinting through them and accidentally whipping half the items off the shelves in his wake). As he did so, though, he began to hear people talking. And they weren’t just talking about the latest viral video, or boring politics, or any of those things, either.

They were talking about them.

Of course, everyone would always change the subject when he walked by, chatting loudly about their dog or their kids or whatever. It was almost as though they were saying, “Don’t look at me! I didn’t say anything about your friends! I’m just here, minding my own business!” But of course none of them really had been.

He recognized that he was spiraling down the path of thinking about it again, even though there was nothing he could do. And now no matter what, the thoughts of some of his closest friends were tainted. Which totally didn’t frustrate him at all. 

It didn’t help, he thought irritably (not noticing the mild scowl that had appeared on his face), that G.U.N. was basically screaming in all the op-eds and information releases the organization could get their hands on that they weren’t in the wrong. They didn’t say that specifically, of course- that would be too obvious. Instead, they just published the same old news over and over again: Team Dark had stolen classified files and then run away. 

This had all begun to grate on Sonic’s nerves a little, particularly when pundits and newspaper writers alike began to spout wild conspiracy theories about Team Dark having been spies for ‘the enemy’- whoever that was- or that one of them had finally lost it...or even all three at once. The most frustrating, however, was when once avid supporters of the former G.U.N. agents completely disavowed them and distanced themselves from the team as much as possible. It made him want to pull a Knuckles and punch a wall- how could people turn on the team so easily?

The hero pulled himself back to reality to realize that he’d been staring at a can of soup for the past few minutes. And were those dents where his fingers had been? He put the can in his shopping cart, took a deep breath, and continued on, giving himself a little ride on the back of the cart as a treat. Normally, he’d remember his various accidents and restrain himself, but lately the hero had needed to clear his head. He deserved this.

A few minutes later, a chime on his phone let him know that Tails had sent him a message. Sonic opened it up and read the text: 

milesperhour: Sonic, I think you need to see this. Take a close look at paragraph 5. https://www.centralcitynews.com/team-dark-update

Sonic clicked the link, sighing, and began to scan the article. Another one? Really, he’d had enough of-

Oh boy. Oh wow. Okay.

They’d made a move. G.U.N. didn’t release much in the way of information- all they’d done was declare an official alert asking people to keep a lookout for Rouge, Shadow and Omega. And to tip G.U.N. off at a hotline that they’d provided for this purpose.

Sonic had learned how to read between the lines over the last few days, though, and on his second read-through, he saw what most would not. 

...are in possession of multiple classified files…

So they’d stolen more info? That must’ve been what Omega’s post was about! Sonic began to squeeze his phone hopefully. Maybe this was it, maybe soon this whole nightmare would be over!

He practically flew through the rest of the store at the thought. Team Dark would give G.U.N. what for, the organization would apologize, and then everything would be fine!

Sonic checked out in a hurry, rushing home as fast as he could. Slamming open the door, he yelled out, “Tails! Did you see- oh right, you sent me the article. But still! Things are looking up, buddy!”

Tails had a slightly lopsided grin on his face, making the hero’s heart sink. “What’s that look all about?”

“I don’t know- it’s probably nothing! After all, Team Dark can handle any situation they come up against...just, G.U.N. has a lot of resources, you know?”

Sonic’s smile returned in full force. “Sure they do, but they also owe me for saving the world, like, a million times over! Once we’ve got the Edge Gang back with us, I’ll go talk with the commander and get them to straighten everything out!”

“That sounds like corruption, Sonic…” Tails said, a wicked smirk appearing on his face.

“Dude, what?! No! I’d never-! I just meant I was gonna see if I could talk some sense into them- hey, get back here!” Sonic screeched, seeing Tails run off with the groceries...including the donut he’d bought for himself.

…

Later that afternoon, Sonic was in the middle of finally enjoying said donut after wrestling it from Tails’s (evil terrible Sonic-and-sugar-hating) claws. It was a little squished, but it was still great- he wasn’t complaining!

That was, of course, when he heard a loud, sharp knock on the door.

He jumped up and zipped over to the entry hall, pastry still in hand. Whipping open the door, a shocking sight greeted him- one that made all of his battle-honed senses immediately scream danger danger danger. Two impeccably dressed G.U.N. agents stood before him, a human and a barn owl. The human seemed pretty awkward, wearing slightly rumpled slacks and overall looking a little messy. The owl, however, despite being about the same height as the blue blur, exuded an air of steely discipline that would make everyone she faced feel about two inches tall.

Everyone except Sonic, that was. He was secure in the knowledge that his friends were not wrong, and he maintained his usual relaxed demeanor without a hitch. The hero smiled fake-pleasantly at the two agents, ignoring the fact that he had sugar glaze at the corners of his mouth and all over his glove. “Sorry, guys, I wasn't really expecting guests.” He gestured to himself as an obvious example. “Anything I can do for ya?”

He didn’t offer to let them inside, though. These agents were hunting down his friends, he was absolutely sure of that. Sonic refused to help them in any way, not when Team Dark was still out there and being threatened by their organization.

The barn owl gave him a look that nearly pierced through his very soul. “Sonic the Hedgehog. I am Agent Toya, and this is my colleague, Agent Jones. We have a few questions that we would like to ask you. Inside.” Her voice was cold and clear, with no trace of an accent.

Sonic felt a chill run down his spine, but kept his smile up regardless. “Sure thing!” he chirped, despite very much not wanting to let them in. “The living room’s right this way- make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be back there in a sec.” He honestly didn’t think he could have refused them entry without...complications.

The hero zipped over to Tails’s workshop, flinging open the door with a little more force than he’d intended. The fox jumped up in a fright when it smacked against the wall, staring at Sonic. “G.U.N. is here. Two agents.” he said quickly. The imminent sense of danger in the back of his head wouldn't leave him be, despite the fact that he was one of the most powerful people alive.

...Despite this, don’t let G.U.N. take you or anyone else anywhere. You might not come back…

...These people aren’t crazy geniuses- they’re ruthless destroyers…

“Oh, chaos.” Tails breathed. “I’ll wait nearby, okay? Then I can do something if they start getting too intense.”

Sonic nodded, before speeding back down to see the agents sitting on his couch. “Hi! So whatcha guys want?” he asked perkily, burying his thoughts for now.

“Hello to you too, Sonic.” Jones said politely. “How are you?”

The hero tugged slightly at the cuff of his glove. “Pretty good!” he lied through his grin. “Been chilling around the house for most of the day- how ‘bout you?”

“Not bad,” the human answered. “Work is work though, you know?”

“Yeah, sounds pretty rough.” Sonic said, a little unconvincingly. Before he could stop himself, he thought of all the late nights Shadow and Omega had spent working on paperwork and various odd jobs for G.U.N., and the times when Rouge had to cancel her dates with Knuckles because she was just too exhausted from work to do much of anything. His smile became slightly strained as he worked to keep his frustration on Team Dark’s behalf under wraps.

The owl gazed at him silently for a moment, having watched this whole awkward transaction with a calculating look in her eye. Then she spoke. “I’m certain you have seen the news lately.”

“Uhhh...kinda, I’m not big on newspapers, but I try to keep up, yeah! Always nice to see an article about yours truly, hah.” He played it off, deciding to act dumb for now.

Agent Jones shifted in his seat, looking cautious. “Yeah…” he said, offering up an incredibly fake smile. “I’m a bit of a fan, myself.”

Sonic knew exactly what was going on. It was almost so classic he had to laugh- the old good cop/bad cop scenario. The human was clearly trying to play the good cop, and not enjoying it either. The hedgehog had to wonder, though, was he just a better bad cop or uncomfortable because he was helping grill a hero?

Oh, right- Agent Toya was talking again. “We know that you have seen the articles published about the betrayal of Team Dark. Even if you do not read the news, one of your friends will have told you by now.”

The hedgehog’s eyes narrowed a little. “And what’s that supposed to mean? What do you want outta me?”

“You. Know. Something.” she said sharply. “That team- in particular Shadow the Hedgehog-” He tensed at her flippant use of his name, as if they weren’t hunting him down like he had legitimately gone bad. “-trust you. You are very close with them. They would not have left you with nothing.”

Sonic shook his head, trying one last time. “I don’t think so, lady. I know about as much as you- if that. It’s not like we’re besties or anything.”

Agent Jones shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know- it looks like you guys are pretty close to me. Not that that’s bad, I mean-!!” he amended rapidly, realizing his mistake. In addition to having blown his role as the ‘good cop’, he was now being stared down by a very irritated pair of green eyes. The look he was being given contrasted sharply with the grin plastered across the hero’s face, and the agent began to sweat slightly and avoid his stare.

Meanwhile, Sonic turned his attention back to Agent Toya, sitting up straight and squaring his shoulders in preparation for more. He was a fighter, after all.

It seemed that the barn owl came here ready for a fight as well, because her own eyes flashed and she straightened her G.U.N. uniform. “Sonic. We need information. Our organization has been compromised. Twice. We are in a crisis and we are ordering you to tell us what you know.”

That did it.

“As if!” the hero exclaimed, jumping to his feet. “You think I’m the kind of guy who’d sell his friends out and watch them get carted off to jail- or worse?! I don’t know as much as you think I do, and if I did, I wouldn’t tell you!” He had probably blown any semblance of ignorance up now, but Sonic couldn’t find it in himself to care.

The owl agent stood as well, glaring at him. “If that is the attitude you are going to take, then we have no choice but to take you into custody.” She began to reach for the Taser on her belt at the same time as Jones grabbed the gun from his holster. Sonic’s eyes flickered between them both- the human he could take on, but he wasn’t completely sure about Toya’s skill with the Taser.

Could he get around them? Sure, but not without breaking something...and he hated to bust up his house just because a couple of agents showed up on his doorstep and pulled weapons on him. He’d handled worse odds, hadn’t he? But then he and Tails would constantly be on the run, and that was no way for a nine-year-old to live…

A loud crash resounded in the kitchen. Jones shouted and jumped up, Sonic’s head snapped around so fast he tweaked his neck, and Toya took a step backwards.

Rubbing his neck and wincing, Sonic yelled out, “Everything okay in there?”

Tails dashed into the room out of nowhere, crying out, “Sorry! Sorry! I was just working and wanted a drink- and I heard- I heard-” 

The fox then began to cry, sobbing and clinging to Sonic’s chest. “You’re not gonna take him away, are you? I need my big brother…” he sniffled. “Sonic, everything’s gonna be okay, right?”

The hero was trying his very hardest, meanwhile, to keep his jaw from hitting the floor as he watched his brother, a brave, intelligent sidekick and someone he was proud to fight beside, put on the most incredible show he’d ever seen. “I…I dunno, buddy…” he said honestly, uncertain about how to react. 

This seemed to be a pretty good move, as Tails immediately began to bawl harder and gasped, in between sobs, “Please don’t take him away from me!”

It appeared that Toya would not feel comfortable using force against Sonic (or even resuming her interrogation) when the young fox was around. Instead, she gave him a very pointed, piercing look, before declaring, “We will be back at a later date to continue this conversation.”

She stalked out the door, Jones shoving his gun back onto his belt and following sulkily behind her. As soon as she had gotten into her car and driven off, the hero sagged into the couch and let out a loud sigh. “Welp.”

Tails flew out of the room immediately afterwards, whispering a quick “Wait there and chill for a second I’ll be right back” before he exited. Once he returned, the fox crawled around on the couch next to Sonic before letting out an “Aha!” and holding up what appeared to be a tiny piece of metal.

“It’s a shame to have to do this, but…” he muttered, before vanishing with it. A couple minutes later, a very loud noise boomed from Tails’s workshop and made Sonic panic before blasting in there at top speed. 

“What was that?!” he shrieked. 

“Just destroying this camera that human agent left in our couch.” the engineer replied lightly.

“Wait- what??” Sonic gasped. “He did what?”

“I thought they’d be crazy to leave without planting one, so I checked the camera feed, and it was pretty obvious! He must be a new recruit.”

“Wait- you have a camera? In our living room?” the hero asked, feeling slightly creeped out.

Tails shrugged. “Well, I didn’t until recently, but I figured that G.U.N. would have to show up at our place eventually, so yeah.”

They both stayed there in silence for a minute, before making their way back down to the main house. 

“Well, what do we do now?” Tails wondered. 

“I dunno- you’re the smart guy, pal.” Sonic replied quickly. “I just don’t want to have to escape from them! I like running, but not away from people. Especially bad people.”

“Well...does it count as running if we’re hanging out with Knuckles?” the fox suggested hopefully.

Sonic sighed. “I guess not...it’d be cool with him, too, since Angel Island is a pretty safe place and all. I still hate the idea of hiding from them, though.”

“Maybe you won’t have to!” Tails said, trying to be cheerful. “After all, I don’t think people will buy it if G.U.N. says you’re a...traitor…” He trailed off, remembering a particularly eventful moment from their past.

“Yyyeah.” the hedgehog said dryly, having thought of the same thing. “That’s exactly why I didn’t have to ride through the streets of Central City on a piece of helicopter.”

“Let’s not think about that for now though, okay?” Sonic asked. “ I don’t like the idea of being scared all the time.”

Tails nodded in agreement. “Besides, we’ve handled them before! We can cross that bridge when we come to it anyway.”

Sonic grinned. “How about we watch some TV for now, take our minds off things?”

“Sure! But I’m definitely gonna tell Omega- or whoever calls us next- about this. They deserve to know.” the fox answered.

“Okay…” the blue blur said. He felt a little guilty that he could just turn on a movie and forget about G.U.N. for a while- Team Dark didn’t have that luxury. Quickly, though, he added, “Anything on there you’ve been dying to watch?”

Tails smiled happily, and Sonic decided that this was totally worth it. “Well, there is this one documentary…”

[zoocross0vers]

HERE WE…GOOO!!!!🦔💨

Sorry for not posting this sooner, I had some problems with scanning and lighting but I’m glad that is finally done. Here are some doodles of Sonic/Zootopia crossover from my 2 favourite movies. Those two movies are complimenting each other. Remember when I told you how Tom👦 and Maddie👩🏾 (these are names of those characters from Sonic movie) remind me a lot of Nick🦊 and Judy🐰? Well, after I watched the movie (10 times in cinema, 15 times at home after pandemy, don’t judge me!), it turns out that they have lot in common indeed that I thought. Those are my favourite moments from movie with Nick and Judy as Tom and Maddie and so does other characters from Zootopia (I really enjoy also that scene akward conversation about shooting Sonic with tranq-gun, that is hilarious for me). Wish I could include more but unfortunately after I drew I realized that my paper is not big enough, dang it! Thankfully I was able for example including at least 3 important moments like Sonic looking at happy couple behind window wishing been part of company, because of fear of him all alone forever, which it saddening him (😢 „sniff“ can someone please give that kid a hug?!😭), Ozzy licking Sonic’s face (awwwwww :3) and of course “THE FINAL BATTLE WITH ROBOTNIK” (at least the confrontation). The only thing I didn’t include was Longclaw and echidna tribe, since they had small screen and I small space (dang it!). Which is bummer because I really like Longclaw, she is really interesting character and wish we could see more. There were only two scenes of her, the one from begging of the movie and the deleted where she end up in earth with Sonic for some time but died from s-sicknes-ss “sniff”😢 (I’m sorry for that but this moment always makes cry every-time I watching it😭, it’s just really personal for me for certain reasons.). I guess you questioning the Ozzy licking Sonic’s face scene considering there are no domestic animal, including dogs and Zootopia is world of anthromorphic mammals, so I thought I would use Yoshi as Ozzy as a cameo from Mario (you know because of friendly rivalry between Sonic and Mario) and also as a gift for Yoshifan, especially after seen many pictures of Nick and Yoshi who’s calling him “Mama Nick” and I found it pretty funny. After I started drawing I realized there are some obstacles that would be problem like (aside from Ozzy) raccoons, bear-head from Piston Pit, chilli-dogs (considering what meat they put on these things if, IF it is a meat), the Sonic’s shoes (the old and new ones) and of course Robotnik himself considering I don’t want to change him into some mammal. Like I said before Robotnik works better as human and he doesn’t need to change to an animal considering he put animals from Sonic’s world, anthromorphic and normal, always in danger or abuse (like making them into badniks, or robotized them). So, how are gonna fix it you ask? Well I have some idea. Like I said before for Ozzy I choose Yoshi for that role (and honestly I don’t have any other options, heheh. BUT you must admit that it is adorable 🥰), raccoons were a challenge so I came multiple ideas for example:

Instead of raccoons we use gerbil jerks from Zistopia concept art

Raccoons will be anthromorphic teens who like mess with Nick while eating from trashcans (like Mr. Big said, evolved but deep down still animals)

Since mammals are sentient how about use non-mammal “trash pandas”(lol, I like that nickname) like birds as ravens, crows or pigeons (pigeons are also known as “flying rats” – thank you Spies in Disguise)

Those are mine options, if you have other in mind I’m listening.

Then there’s taxidermy bear-head. Considering that pouching would classified as not just illegal but also as psycho (still not get over that taxidermy Moose-head from Sly 2. Yeah I know that was part of mission to blend in to not rise a suspicion but seriously, WHY those Moose have that head, did they just-…you know what let’s not think about it😖) I came up with idea instead of taxidermy bear-head how about some mask of unusual mascot like the manticore from Onward, eh eehh? (Or it can some dino but I rather prefer manticore). As for those motorbike gang at first I want to suggest those Ranger Scouts. That would be delightful punishing them that way (evil chuckle😈). But then I remembered the trash gang from Zootopia comic “A hard day’s work” and to be honest those characters are ideal for those roles: wildebeest could the black cowboy, elephant as the belly guy (oh come on, like you didn’t think same nickname after seen Sonic sprung out of his belly) and hyena with green Mohawk as of course the Bear-head jerk. But if you want combine them be my guest.😁

As for chilli-dogs since are Sonic’s favourite we cannot left them behind. Thankfully I was watching on YouTube where there mentioned Tails been vegetarian and one comment that said “Chilli-dog: Am I joke to you?” that made conversation about mobians been vegetarians. So in that case since Zootopia is filled birds (and sometimes bugs), and synthetic meat, proteins, probably tofu, we can assume that there are Chilli-dogs made especially in Zootopia universe (and honestly we do not really know, what exactly hot-dogs are truly made of).🌭

👟The shoes were honestly a very hard obstacle for me considering mammals don’t wear shoes since they are still animals, like our directors said, BUT that doesn’t mean they don’t exist in Zootopia.

Evidence 1: Gazelle – she’s wearing high heels from Preyda

Evidence 2: Poster of (parody) movie Cinderellephant, with elephant-size glass slipper

Evidence 3: Judy Hopps – she wears half-sockets in her police uniform (that still does count as a foot-wear)

So I came with headcanon that only celebrities and patients with sensitive feet wear shoes as a luxury or medical protection (I mean we have a lot of animals that can’t live on different area with their conditions, come on have someone of you seen a polar bear live in Sahara Square?) and in this case it’s the latter (plus there is in this story a human character that needs his own footwear) since Sonic is wearing his running shoes considering that his speed is high enough to burn his feet (ouch🤕).

And finally with Robotnik, we use that orphan idea and certain headcanon from Sonic X about planets that once were one until they divided and made their own time and space alterations, prof. Gerald Robotnik (Eggman’s grand-father) could study Mobius for finding cure for Maria, creating Shadow, G.U.N. etc. It could be three worlds (Sonic’s world/Mobius, Robotnik’s world/our world, and Zootopian’s world) or just two (Mobius and Zootopia), what works better.

As you can see there are some characters I included in in certain scene (aside from Yoshi), I present to you Judy’s niece named Cotton and one of Judy’s (many) sisters Violet Hopps. No, those are not an OC from any fandom, those are official characters from Zootopia universe. You already actually know Cotton but for those who don’t know who is Violet, she was introduced in Zootopia Graphic Novel in comic named “Brothers & Sisters” and considering how she is very overprotective of Judy (like any other Hopps) I thought she would fit perfectly for Rachel role (I don’t think she’s Cotton’s mother so don’t ask), and also she’s the only official Hopps sibling with name we know. I wanted also include another characters into this doodles but I like I said before I didn’t have enough space on one paper. So here are my character ideas: Clawhauser as Wade, Bogo as Major Bennington, Mayor Lionheart as Commander Walters (no surprise). For others like Crazy Carl and Agent Stone I had some problems.

For Crazy Carl I first thought about who would fit perfectly and I came up with a lot of ideas: first I thought about Duke Weaselton, since he has face for that crazyness but then I declined since he doesn’t fit on the character, then I thought about Pop-Pop Hopps but that was questionable considering in movie he had a huge aversion of foxes (red as devil) and comic he’s not biased but then I thought who could describe Crazy Carl better than well-known concept crazy theorist Honey Badger am I right?

As for agent Stone I had no idea what to do with him. I could let him stay as but that would make questions of humans and I didn’t want to put Bellwether into this position. If she was unhappy of been unappreciated and humiliated by predators then I don’t think she would really want to work with someone who is full of himself more than her and only see humanity as an excuse of stupidity and “herd of useless sheep (get it?)” and only relay on machines. And characters from Zootopia Crimes was not an option and Jack Savage was out of question no in my point. Not saying that Jack Savage could be a great option but I don’t think fans would appreciate another bad guy role for Jack and I already have something different for him in my mind. Then it came another that would fit for Stone and that is a certain platypus Dr. Starline from Sonic The Hedgehog IDW comics. He admires Eggman and his evil genius (questionable) and in comics he’s working as partner/assistant for him. But since he is mobian as Sonic we could use idea that government knows about it (partially) but does not tell and he thinks that he is an unusual zootopian platypus (after all he does wear clothes and looks “more” normal unlike Sonic) and we could do the same with Robotnik considering his past about grand-father and project Shadow if Jeff Fowler would follow some headcanons (I wouldn’t surprised if some government keeping some secrets even from employers). But then again we could use also Tony, a bunny from Zootopia Crime Files since he is shady and bland at once and already wear a suit, like agent Stone (great, now I don’t know which one to choose again).

You know what, I’ll give you an option who would fit for role of Agent Stone:

1. Dr. Starline, a platypus from Sonic The Hedgehog IDW comics

2. Tony, a bunny from Zootopia Crime Files

3. Jack Savage, a jackrabbit from Zootopia concept art/Savage Seas (you don’t have to take that third one too seriously, but just in case)

DONE (pass out from exhaustion). Haahhh so much work, editing fixing hands, oohh boyyy. You have no idea how hard this was for me to finally made it. I wish I could do more. But for now I’m so glad that I was able to draw at least some of my favourite moments because I feel they’re important for storytelling: first the introduction of main characters, their struggles, interactions and how they greatly compliment to each other (both Sonic and Zootopia). I mean you can’t just see Judy call Nick and Sonic cute and not imagine that, or there was also moment where Sonic dry like dog so his fur and quills(?) go puffy and Nick would look mesmerized by fluffiness. Come to think of it Sonic has lot in common with Nick and Judy that he would actually fit for the role as their son. You’re not believe? Well here are some examples.

Similarities between Sonic and-

-Judy🐰:

1. heroes in blue (get it?)🌀

2. pretty fast (Sonic more faster than Judy but still…)

3. impatient😤

4. first act then think (always put themselves into danger)

5. thing for get into trouble

6. sense for justice

7. never give up

8. preys but not rodents (that’s right hedgehogs are not rodents)

9. became a friend with fox (their natural predator, that was bullied in past, huh strange, just as strange as hedgehog be taken care of by owl that is also his natural predator)

-Nick🦊:

1. sly smile😏

2. mischievous trickster

3. green eyes

4. omnivores (hedgehogs eat melons, watermelons(what’s the difference?), berries (blueberries headcanon!) and insects, snails, frogs snakes🤢- uhhh I think chilli-dogs works better thank you)

5. cringy sense of humor😒

6. thing for nicknames (by Nick: Carrots, Buffalo Butt, Yakity yak, Flash Hundred Yard Dash, by Sonic: Donut Lord, Pretzel Lady, Eggman, Knucklehead, Super Observant Carl)

7. loyalty (they never left their friends behind)

8. never let them see they get to you (despite suffering a lot of emotional damage, thanks a lot SEGA)

9. smooth talker with heart of gold

-both🐰 🦊:

1. traumatic past

2. sacrifices for others

3. fight for what is right

See they had a lot in common. Anyway I am still glad I was finally able to finish this. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it.

But I guess, that I made it hard for you with those moments so how about this we use the final moments like in your fanfic Carcass Bride: FINAL BOSS BATTLE SONIC VS. ROBOTNIK because honestly this moment is epic (wish I could make it bigger), it would start Sonic running from Robotnik, like we’ve seen in beginning of the movie, get shot retelling in short whole story, like in movie only less detailed and faster the confrontation between Nick and Robotnik (Sonic would unconscious but still hear them and had a self-doubt like Naruto in first chapter/episode if you what mean until he hear the important words that’ll give him boost), the final battle and then epilogue (Sonic with his new family) with open ending (you know the Eggman in Mushroom planet and then Tails’s introuction). As for what kind of universe all of them would be I have another suggestions:

1. Sonic movie universe in Zootopia (but still happening in Green Hills only Zootopia would be San Francisco and Transamerica could be Palm Hotel like in Zistopia storyboard) and Night Howler Case never happened.

2. Night Howler case happened Nick and Judy are still cops, but later decided to live in Green Hills

3. Night Howler case happened but was solved instead of Judy and Nick by Jack and Skye who later became agents and don’t like Robotnik for his ego:

a) Nick come from Green Hills (Wachowskis live as police in GH for 50 years), but suffered from Ranger Scouts move to Zootopia became “shifty fox” until he’s saved by childhood friend Judy from Bunnyburrow (from wrong decision and targeting to become savage) and the return to Green Hills become sheriff along with his new wife.

b) Both Nick and Judy just heard about it in Green Hills.

I guess the first and third are more interesting.

Okaayy now I realized that this became more ambitious that I planned but I guess that happens when you try balancing two franchises so it can make sense (enough for headcanons). But I’m not saying that I’m proud of myself. So I’ll leave you the rest (the options and writing) so I can’t wait for one-shot fanfic good luck. And also (even though it’s late but still better than never) Happy birthday Sonic, this is for you! GOTTA GO FAST!🐰🦊🦔💨

#GottaGoFast🦔💨

#LongLiveWildeHopps🦊🐰

#StaySafe😷

#AlwaysRemember (this is for late actreesses that they will alway be remembered and in our hearts❤️)

....

Oh wow! This is really great! You put a lot of scenes from the film, this is awesome!I also see that you gave Yoshi a cameo, lol! @yoshifan30​ will definitely love that, lol! I like the collage look you gave the whole thing. Also, I just realized, is that supposed to be Cotton? Judy’s niece? Thank you so much for this! I will reblog this soon so I can read it more thoroughly and discuss anything I may have missed :) And once again, this...is...INCREDIBLE!!! <3 Fantastic Job Guest! You’re really talented! :D

[cdelphiki]

“This is slander,” Damian shouted, right in the middle of the checkout line.  Making even Dick cringe just a little from the shrillness of his voice.  

It was past midnight, and despite the darkness of night, the stillness of the late hour pressing a hushed atmosphere in the Walmart they’d wandered into, Damian continued to be as loud as humanly possible. 

Perhaps that’s what happens when nocturnal children are forced to take a night off.  They don’t get how to actually act in public at night.

“Inside voice, kiddo,” Dick hummed, not looking up from the word puzzle he was doing on his phone.  Anything to keep himself entertained.  “Hey, what’s an eight letter word for thief?  Third letter is an ‘R’” 

“What?” Damian said, then scowled, demanding, “Why are you not outraged by this?  They are soiling your good name and spreading false rumors.”

“Mmm, no.  That’s too many letters,” Dick said, smirking at how Damian’s scowl turned into a glower at the comment.  “What is slander?”

Dick didn’t have the chance to glance at the celebrity gossip rags sitting on the shelf next to him before one was shoved right in his face, much too close for him to read.  

All he could see was an image of himself walking, one arm around Damian as the kid was mid-sentence, clearly passionate about whatever he was saying.  Dick knew Damian had been talking about the movie they’d just watched.  A war dramatization.  Damian had been explaining every single detail that was wrong.  Right down to the buttons on the coats, which ‘would have been copper, not plastic, Grayson.  It’s basic knowledge.’

Without context, though, and without knowing Damian, the picture just made it seem like he was looking up at Dick in admiration.  Actually, it was an awesome picture and Dick wondered how difficult it would be to get his hands on a clean copy.  

Surely he’d be able to buy the picture off the Inquisitor, right?  Or hack into their servers and just take a copy?  How illegal was that, anyway?  It’s not like he would sell it.  Just frame it and put it in his living room.

“Grayson,” Damian snarled, snapping Dick back to reality.  That was when Dick finally read the headline.  ‘Is Damian really Bruce’s grandson?  Insider spills on Grayson’s secret teenage scandal.’

“Oh my God,” Dick said, grinning wide as he started laughing, loud and hard.  “I was 13,” he eventually said, wiping the tears fro his eyes.  His outburst drew more attention to them than Damian’s, and Dick wasn’t even sorry.

“This is not funny.”

“It’s kind of funny,” Dick said, tossing the magazine on the belt with the various art supplies and junk food they’d come to get in the first place.   Damian just had to have some titanium white paint for the portrait he was working on, and with it being nearly 1, only Walmart was open.  

Which was cool with Dick.  Walmart had Cheetos.  The Manor did not.

“Don’t support them,” Damian exclaimed, snatching the magazine up to put back.  

Dick just smiled and said, “excuse me,” to the woman behind them in line so he could grab the rest of the magazines from the rack.  

Letting out a horrified sound, Damian shouted, “Grayson!”

“Damian, kiddo, no one believes these rags.  Don’t worry.”

“But they’re suggesting-”

“And no one will believe it,” he said, setting a hand on Damian’s head and turning him forward, pushing him in that direction, so the person behind them could start loading her groceries onto the belt, “I mean, come on, kid, you’re the spitting image of your dad and since I’m quite famously adopted, it makes no sense that you could be mine instead of Bruce’s, okay?  You just gotta learn to ignore these things.”

“Then why are you purchasing six copies?”

“Want to show everyone,” he said absently, putting the divider down behind his giant bag of Cheetos and four bags of gummy worms.  Alfred was going to kill him if he found out. “And it’s a good photo.  You look happy.”

“I was happy,” Damian said petulantly, crossing his arms.  Acting as if this were somehow a point for him and not Dick.  

Dick just grinned and pulled Damian in, planting a quick kiss in his hair before he was forced to let go, due to Damian’s two finger jab straight into his kidney.  

“Hi,” Dick said to the cashier when she greeted them, trying his best to stand up straight and not whine at the pain Damian had just inflicted, but also not keep laughing at how hilarious it all was.  Because Damian was standing by the bags, arms crossed, an adorable little pout on his face.

“Find everything you need,” the girl asked, smiling at their antics, Dick assumed.

“Sure did!”

“Tt.” 

“Let’s go, kiddo,” he said, after he paid.  Dick took the bags and tried to hand Damian his, the one with the random paint brushes and tubes of paint they didn’t need, but the little punk spun on his heels and stalked off, toward the store exit.  “Let’s go get some milkshakes.”

Damian ignored him, of course, but did eventually ask, “Where would we get milkshakes at this hour?” just as they reached the car and Dick was tossing their bags into the back seat.

“Drive thru, duh.  Sonic is still open, pretty sure.”

“Tt.” Damian slipped into the passenger seat and waited for Dick to get in, then said, “I want a McFlurry.  Reece’s cup.  We have to go to the McDonald’s on Montgomery for that.”

Dick smiled to himself, letting the car fall into silence, all the way to McDonald’s.  He ordered two Reece’s McFlurries at the drive thru and parked so he could eat his without being pulled over for ‘distracted driving.’  Because apparently the police considered using both hands to eat ice cream dangerous and stupid.  That had not been a fun ticket to explain to Bruce when he was 16.  

He had hoped the ice cream would cheer Damian up, but no matter how much of it they ate, Damian just seemed to get more and more agitated as he clearly stewed in his anger about the gossip magazine.

“You’ve got to just laugh at this kind of stuff, D,” Dick eventually said, once they were about half way through their ice cream, “It comes with the territory.”

Damian frowned, staring down at the cup in his hands.  “It does not bother you at all?”

“This one?  Nah.  They’ve been calling me… promiscuous since I was 15.  Just the result of being good looking and Bruce’s kid.  I’m over it.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” Damian pouted, setting his ice cream down in the cup holder between them so he could cross his arms. 

“No, it doesn’t,” Dick said softly, turning to face Damian, “but this time they’re accusing me of being the dad of a wonderful kid.  I can’t find it in me to be insulted.”

And that made Damian’s lip twitch as he looked away.  “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

Dick finished off the last of his ice cream and tossed the empty cup into his trash bag on the backseat, then dug out a pack of his gummy words to eat.  “Besides, I looked pretty hot in that picture, don’t you think?”

“Shut up, Grayson.”

“Yeah, the lighting was great.  And my hair was that perfect level of messy, where it looks like I tried to make it look that good without being-”

“Imbecile.  You look like a zombie that hadn’t slept in four days or showered in ten.”

“You sure you aren’t thinking about how you looked?”

“Tt.”  Damian picked his ice cream back up and took another bite, then abruptly said, “Arrogate.”

“What?”

“Eight letter word for thief.  Arrogate.”

“Oh,” Dick exclaimed, fishing his phone out of his back pocket to check.  When the word was accepted, he reached over and ruffled Damian’s hair.  “You’re the best.”

“I know.  You’d be lucky to have a son like me.”  

Grinning, Dick dragged Damian over for a quick hug, trying his best to avoid injury doing so.  “Son or not, I am pretty lucky to have you, aren’t I?”

All Damian did was smile.  The entire way back to the manor.

[hiddenbeats247]

West Coast Spotlight - Edge

Here at Hidden Beats, we are taking advantage of this time by serving you a number of unique artists on a silver platter through our new Spotlight Q&A interviews. Our first West Coast Spotlight - Edge. Amidst this pandemic, time is in abundance — offering music lovers the ability to dive deep into the ever-growing pool of talented Canadian musicians and making it easier than ever to bolster your musical roster.  We are highlighting Edge, a 23-year-old up and coming Hip-Hop artist and producer, based in British Columbia.  Influenced by everything from his Nigerian roots to modern pop, reggae and rap of all eras (most noticeably Tyler the Creator), Edge is carving out his place quickly within the world of hip-hop by creating a unique sound all his own that is laced with details of his experiences thus far.  Get to know more about this budding artist below!

Photo by Justin HIll How long have you been creating?  Since I was about 13-years-old. What got you started in music?  My friends in middle school. We started  a group which consisted of four members including myself. We did it for a Christmas program at school and from there it just kinda grew into something else.  I found myself saving lunch money to purchase studio time to go work on music. Is Edge your given name? If not, what made you decide to go with it?  Funny enough it’s not, I might add it someday. I don’t recall who gave me the nickname, but I’ve always had it since I was little. I was also into WWE when I was younger, and the wrestler “Edge” was cool at the time, so I didn’t mind the nickname. At what age did you move to Canada? How do you feel the move impacted you?  I came down to Canada when I was 18. It was interesting being on my own for the first year or so. I would still say I’m still feeling the impact of the move seeing that all the people I grew up with, I have not seen for the past 5 years now.  But I’ve also met a lot of new people here who have more than added an experience to my journey. So, it’s give and take. You mention in your bio that your home country and world music has impacted you. Is there anything in particular that you feel often comes up when you’re creating? Well not consciously I guess, when I create, I pull on the sounds, sonically and production wise from music I’ve listened to and I enjoy.  I also think of what sounds (like sonically sounds good) good, then I try to recreate that sound I’m hearing from my head. Growing up, were you always surrounded by hip-hop or R&B? What were some of the other genres around you that you feel have inspired your art so far? In my earlier years I was surrounded by church music, but as I grew up, I noticed my dad playing different music around the house, he played reggae, 2face, face, Asa, Michael Jackson, he was in love with Lady Gaga, played Flavour (also a Nigerian artist).  I really grew up with Nigerian music, from afro-beats to Nigerian Rap. Then started listening to the radio so whatever was popular on there, I would tune into a station called Cool FM to listen to Rick D’s show. And I’d watch loads of movies and look for the sound tracks off there, and that gave me access to rock and indie pop. And finally, Limewire. My music is kind of a refined mesh of all these things. Do you think it’s important to explore different genres outside of your own when it comes to creating? Why?  Yes, most definitely, but then again, I don’t only just make one genre. If you truly love music, you can’t limit yourself to just one genre. You can definitely tell that Tyler the Creator has had a large influence on you. What is it about him in particular that captivated you?  The rawness of his music to begin with. Like when I was younger and just hearing him say all that wild sh*t, I was listening like “yo are people allowed to speak like this?” At a second listen he was super expressive and honest in his music and he didn’t really appear to give to fu*k about what anyone thought.  I thought that was cool af. Secondly his character was funny, I found him hilarious. But also, being that young and being able to create different platforms in which he could express his creativity, from music to tv to fashion to a festival, that was cool. A lot of times, artists create their music for the masses, as perhaps a way to gain rapid success. Why do you feel it’s so important to create music you care about and also would like to listen to?  Because I would like to be able to listen to and enjoy my own music if it ever got big. I don’t want to be stuck listening to trash music made by me. Why did you learn to produce and how long did it take you to learn?  Well, when I got to Canada, I didn’t have access to a studio where I was, so I went online and bought the equipment I needed to record myself.  At the time I would send music out to producers to help mix and master. But after a while I wanted to be self sufficient, and there were also different sounds I wanted to try out for myself. So, I went on youtube and started learning how to mix vocals. Took me about a year or so to learn so, but till date I’m still learning a lot, you can never really be done learning. You say you like to “create vibes”. Is this purely lighthearted vibes that people can relate to or do you try to use your platform to relay messages you feel are important? Why or Why not? My music a lot of the time is lighthearted, I don’t go into making music with an agenda, well I mean that’s a lie, my agenda is to make sonically pleasing music to myself. But beyond that I don’t go in thinking I want to relay any messages. I make music based on how I’m feeling at that moment. How I view my platform though is through myself and my actions. I want anyone watching me to understand where I come/came from and how I got to where I am/going to, and understand that it’s possible for them to take the same steps and create something of themselves.

Photo by Justin Hill You can listen to Edge’s most recent releases on Spotify And follow along with him via Instagram

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[orangestar1]

GET UP AND KILL! Original Release

A little over 48 hours ago, it was not my birthday in Sweden, where Vargskelethor ( A.K.A. Joel from Vinesauce) uploaded the VOD featuring the Doom WAD I submitted for his contest. It was my birthday during that time here in The States. Time is fun.

I told everyone when he finally played it I would upload it for everyone to enjoy, and here it is, and then some.

Get Up And Kill! (Colloquially known around by me and my friends as “Guac” like Guacamole but pronounced by Joel as “GWEK” so I guess it’s “GWEK” now) is a single Doom level made with the intention of feeling like a semi-retro mod that could’ve been made with PrBoom+ and some DeHackEd patches.

More info + Release under the cut.

Features

Neon color Industrial-Punk aesthetic (Described by Joel as “Birthday Shake”)

Over-the-top enemy placement and humor

5 original 3D weapons and tons of replacement color-coded pickups to match (that look bad because I was strapped for time)

Grading system that goes from A, the lowest grade, to XXX EX GRAND MASTER, the highest.

New Zombiemen sounds from Ghost Squad (Wii)

Quadruple bass pedal drums that I liked but everyone seems to make fun of

Semi-Nonlinear level design

Transparent Swimmable 3D Floors

Dynamically lighted explosions

Easy difficulty for accessibility

Cooperative player starts

A finishing gauntlet featuring two cyberdemons and a boss battle with a double-health Spider Mastermind and his Arachnotron cohorts. Especially difficult if you’re going for 100% kills!

Known Bugs

If the Status Bar’s scaling options (Options > HUD Options > Scaling Options) aren’t set to 1 or using the defaults like this then your HUD will be ridiculously huge. This bug was introduced in the very version of GZDoom that Joel ended up using for the contest. Thanks, Graf.

Autosaves only trigger once, so it’s possible to use up an autosave and then not go through the portion it was intended for.

The invulnerability sphere was supposed to have been edited to have a golden colormap (seen here after applying a quick patch) but instead I appear to have uploaded and backed up the wrong wad so it’s the default inverse colormap which looks like hell on the neon-soaked textures.

I forgot to render the Handcannons with a right hand holding them so only the left hand is visible.

The title “Get Up And Kill” is incorrectly attributed to Bruno Mattei’s Hell of the Living Dead, a film about rats that transmit an infectious zombie virus. The line actually comes from Bruno Mattei’s Rats, a film about rats that transmit an infectious zombie virus.

Sometimes the EFX explosions will damage you. I don’t know why.

You can continue to control your character after winning. Using the console command Spynext will change the camera back to your player so you can see yourself. This does not change your ending stats.

The sound effect that plays when you get a secret is actually unecessarily long because I forgot to trim it, so after getting a secret you’ll still hear some really quiet crowd cheering noises and instrumental breaks.

Due to miscalculation on monsters in the level, you can only achieve a XXX rating for Demons Trashed by waiting for Pain Elementals to spawn over 30 Lost Souls or by killing any respawned demons on Nightmare!. (The level has 217 monsters on normal, and there are three Pain Elementals which will generate at least an additional 9 monsters. XXX grade requires you to kill 257 monsters.)

Onto the actual release, I actually have three versions of Get Up And Kill to give you today. Championship Edition, Director’s Cut, and Original Mix.

Championship Edition

CE is the warts-and-all WAD that was submitted directly to Joel’s contest. It features everything you see in the WAD as it showed up on the above-linked VOD and everything Joel missed as well. Untouched and preserved for archival and interest.

Get it here!

Director’s Cut

Obviously, I can’t say I made a patch and then not release it, right? DX is GUAK with a few post-release quirks mitigated and fixed, though still a little rough around the edges. Differences between CE and DX:

The bugs listed above that are in italics are fixed.

References to the “Chat” and other things specific to Vargskelethor’s Twitch stream have been removed.

Leftover debug code has been cleaned up and removed.

Deathmatch spawns and weapons have been added to the map, as per Joel’s suggestion.

Scripts have been tweaked to run automatically when a Deathmatch game is detected.

Leftover DECORATE actors and their corresponding sprites that were not used in the final product have been removed.

The unused Titlemap has been removed.

The requirements for achieving a XXX grade for Demons Trashed has been reduced to accommodate how many demons are actually in the level. (This is one of the italicized bugs but I wanted to elaborate.)

Grades for time have been sparsed out somewhat. While you are still required to achieve a time under 2 minutes for a XXX rating, most play sessions are usually 6 and a half minutes or higher: Far exceeding the lowest grade requirement (400 seconds or 6.6 minutes for an S).

Obviously these fixes actually make GUAK-DX smaller in filesize than GUAK. I highly recommend it.

Get it here!

Original Mix

The final version of GUAK is a very special one. During the video, Joel mentioned that he’d love to play through the entirety of Doom 2 with the weapons. Well, now you can. The WAD was designed from the start to easily mesh with other Doom wads because I’m insane, and Original Mix allows you to mix GUAK weapons with almost any level you desire. Some discrepancies between GUAK (DX), GUAK OM, and Doom 2:

In GUAK, Zombiemen and Shotguys dropped Jury Rifles (the Pistol replacement.) Since this was done by replacing the actors entirely, in GUAK OM they simply drop boxes of scrap (Clip replacements) and Scrapshoots (Shotgun replacements)

In a desperate attempt at balance, Scrapshoots and Handcannons will spawn differently from normal Shotguns and Chainguns. You’ll get used to it.

Boxes of Pistol ammo will instead spawn 2 charges of scrap and 2 charges of rounds.

Scrap charges give you 20 ammo instead of 10.

Since there is no Fusion Coolant equivalent for the Big Cell Packs, Big Cell Packs now just spawn a bunch of Fusion Coolant.

There is no BFG replacement. The BFG spawns as is and still uses its own ammo that does not spawn anymore, so you only get charges for your BFG by collecting other BFGs. Use it wisely.

The Scrapshoot now uses more ammo.

The Sonic Emitter will give you 5 charges on pickup instead of just 2.

The Fusion Rifle will give you 50 charges on pickup.

Guns now leave decals on walls.

The default status bar is used.

There is no Titlemap or M_DOOM replacement. Sorry.

GUAK OM should work with most level packs, and anything that doesn’t rely on changing the guns at all. If you find any bugs while playing it, please let me know! I’d love to make this playable in all kinds of level packs if possible.

Get it here!

If you’re wondering why I haven’t put it on the ZDoom forums... well they kind of have a rule against posting WADs with other people’s resources. This is listed as being only for people from the ZDoom community specifically, but since I used audio from Ghost Squad for Wii by Sega, a sound from Rockband 2 by Harmonix, sprites and textures from Duke Nukem 3D by 3D Realms, and graphics from Revolution X by Midway, I don’t want to take my chances. If this is fine to post please let me know and I’ll go ahead and do so.

In closing uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, I think it’s funny that Joel referenced Meteor, one of my favorite DOS freeware games, when he first saw this wad. That’s really hilarious.

That’s it! That’s all! Please enjoy this thing I spent a lot of time on and tell all your friends.

[nightcoremoon]

I love horror, I just have impossibly high standards

anyway some of my favorite is the kind that is totally normal from the start, there's nothing off kilter or weird, everything is fine. it's mundane. but then maybe something strange happens and it's less mundane, maybe it's more colorful or lively. but it's not like it's scary or anything. maybe it's a little left of center but it's still fine. life goes on as normal.

but then suddenly it's not fine.

and it recontextualizes everything up until now and you realize oh my god it wasnt mundane at all, it was just pillars of foreshadowing and you realize this is the most terrifying thing you've ever encountered.

maybe it goes on with the weird scary shit and things resolve themselves later, but that gives you time to breathe and get accustomed to the horror.

maybe it just ends. maybe it's just suddenly "surprise, shit is fucked!" and then ~fin

that would be ideal. like, in the sixth sense, you find out Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, you see him making peace with his death, and then the movie ends. except without all of the overreliance on shock horror and the visually disturbing (for the 90s) shots of the entire rest of the everything.

but if the twist happens at the halfway point and things stay absolutely horrible for a while that's also good, like coraline. started off pretty normal, got a little weird, and then suddenly boom ITS HORRIFYING OUT OF NOWHERE.

a perfect example of the last line twist would be the girl with the green ribbon on her neck. aww the boy likes the mysterious girl and they fall in love and get married, really normal the entire way. and then oh surprise HER HEAD COMES OFF. simple yet effective.

I don't mind if it starts out the gate with being seven levels of fucked. dead space 2 opens up with nicole, narratively speaking just moments after she end jumpscares you in the first game, so we're already off-put. then 60 seconds in we see isaac in a straitjacket being questioned and in the background there's flashes of being on the ishimura and nicole's ghost walks up to you and slavsquats and her eyes light up and she whispers, then SUDDEN WHITE oh cool it's ok look it's franco from dead space ignition that's cool aww he's saving Isaac oh wow it's a really creepy atmosphere OH MY GOD IS HEAD IS GETTING STABBED AND HIS FACE TURNS INTO A GODDAMN ZOMBIE HOLY SHIT THEYRE EVERYWHERE RUN BITCH RUN CHAOS LOUD MUSIC BLOOD GUTS FEAR QUICK MASH THE A BUTTON OR DIE!!! oh everything is quiet now. good job you survived, now walk down the corridor to the next intense scary part. lather rinse repeat.

I like horror when it's well executed or creative and not schlocky and relying solely on savini's gore or unnecessary carnage.

friday the 13th is like, oh wow that person just got an axe in their forehead, I sure am quaking in my boots. oh wow the tall stuntman picked up a sleeping bag and slammed it into a tree, this sure is realistic. oh the scantily clad teen girl is running slowly through the forest while cain hodder slowly walks towards her, and he somehow catches up and stabs her with the machete. wow the effects sure look like foam core and wax got cut in half and is squirting ketchup everywhere. the music is sonically engineered to force my pulse to increase and I guess this is horror? oh look someone else got murdered. oh look another murder. I'm sure glad we spent the first 45 minutes of this movie getting to know the shallow garbage characters before they all get merced. wow crispin glover sure does know how to shake his head when a prosthetic attached with fake blood is on his head. oh look a dead body with arrows in it, the scream queen is piercing my eardrums, I guess this means I should be scared too. yawn. it's so fucking boring just watching people die over and over again. at least the later installments were either hilarious or batshit crazy. punching a dude's head clean off was the funniest thing I've ever seen in a movie given the context, and JASON GOES TO SPACE is the dumbest shit in any film but that's what makes it awesome. it had a stupid fucking robot fight. yet everyone hated it, so they rebooted it and surprising literally nobody it was the same shit but with more cgi so it looked even less real (not that it did in the first place). yet this franchise made hundreds of millions of dollars in ticket sales alone. nowadays there are people who see hockey on tv and ask "why the fuck is that guy dressed up like jason voorhees".

tell me why a free swedish gold source mod with blocky graphics and muddy textures and the worst lighting engine in 20 years and some bad questionable design choices in an almost direct ripoff homage to silent hill 2 and resident evil 2, crammed with bugs and bad collision and hard crashes if you die in a specific level while holding a flare which you literally need to always have lit because that's the mechanic the entire level was built around, by a team of like 6 people (half of whom were the voice actors and navmesh modelers), is still one of the best and well-crafted pieces of horror media I've ever consumed, while trash like the fucking craven-less elm street remake gets its dick sucked by everyone else because OH WOW ITS SO SUBVERSIVE AND EDGY AND GORY WOW COOL THIS IS REAL TRUE HORROR!

of course I'm approaching this from a purely american lens. japan's horror is phenomenal. mainly because it's not built around buckets of blood and literal pig carcasses and abusing actresses and actual rape scenes (although it's funny that people are totally okay with all of the graphic murders because killing people is okay and indulging in torture porn is fine but oh, god forbid a film shows something skin-crawlingly uncomfortable for the sake of making you feel disgusted and wanting a cold shower, no, the line is drawn there, you can stab a naked girl with a power drill or drop a chainsaw on her body and that's fine but if a snowman slams her body into a wall while his carrot nose is inside her hoohah that's when it's going too far? seriously? whatever I've beaten this dead horse). but eurocanadamerica's obsession with gore porn in horror and blumhouse's shitty jumpscare factories have reduced it to just... loud noise, stabbing, loud noise, stabbing, lather rinse repeat. this is horror now I guess.

nobody takes coraline seriously as horror. nobody takes the green ribbon seriously as horror.

the monster chasing you isn't horror. it's terror. horror is when you step on a bear trap while the monster is chasing you. the monster chase without the bear trap has no impact, it's just "watch this person fear for their life and die". yeah, if I wanted to watch a snuff film I'd look outside of mainstream markets. "oh but if it's just a movie it's not real" so says the people who suicide bait cyber bully and harass teens who ship a 17 year old with a 19 year old, or two people who work with batman, all over fictional alleged pedophilia and incest. because it's all bad unless it's violence. only sex is bad but not violence.

the violence cannot stand on its own. it needs to have narrative purpose. resident evil, all of the zombies and monsters were bioweapons being manufactured by a corporation. silent hill and cry of fear, all of the monsters are just the embodiments of the protag's inner demons. dead space, the batshit crazy religious cult wants to turn everyone into the undead since that's their idea of heaven, and you have to fight them and stay alive so you can prevent the universe from getting omnomnommed by the blood moons. f.e.a.r., a little girl with some psychic powers is studied, tortured, abused, and :/ raped (at least you don't see it) and she naturally responds by lashing out at the ones who hurt her and trying to reunite with her baby, who is... you! (spoilers).

what is the plot of friday the 13th? dumbass kids get drunk and have sex and let a little kid go missing and his mom has a psychotic break and starts killing them all, then they kill her and the kid kills more people and then he kills more people and then he dies and comes back and kills more people and then he dies so someone else starts killing people and then jason comes back again and kills more people again and he gets arrested and they try to execute him but he won't die so they cryogenically freeze him until he kills people in the future, and in a different timeline he kills people and fights freddy krueger. it's pointless. popcorn. drivel. there is no narrative purpose, it's just murder for murder's sake. and that's scary???

like I said. impossibly high standards.

I love horror. but holy shit is a lot of horror bad.

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny’s Top 10 Mainstream Country Songs of 2020

playlist

tl;dr: A selection of script excerpts from a video on Franny’s YouTube channel called “My 10 Favorite Hit Country Songs of 2020″. This isn’t everything she had to say about those songs ofc, just excerpts. I ain’t writing all her thoughts lmao

tw: mentions but no detailed discussion of death and abortion

INTRO: Susadei*, hello, and welcome to my channel, where I, Franny Sor Robinson, share my opinions about music on the internet.”

*susadei is the informal way to say hello in Khmer, Franny’s first language

TOPIC INTRODUCTION: It is almost Christmas, which means! It’s time to start my end of the year roundup. I made videos every December talkin’ about my top 10 favorite...fill-in-the-blank. This year, we’re going to start with my Top 10 Hit Country Songs of 2020. And before you start typin’ [cuts to Franny wearing Cornelius’ glasses and one of Laszlo pretentious artist scarves, black and white] “Ew! I came here to find of hipster shit!” [cuts to Franny wearing one of Petunia’s jackets, black and white] “Where’s the BANJOS!?” [color restored] that’s the one I’m recording next so hold on.

As always, this list is in no particular order, because I believe that music isn’t something you rank on a linear bad, worse, worst, good, better, greatest scale. 

RULES: Now, the rules!

The song can’t be one I had a part in “So if I co-wrote it, if it’s my song, or I featured on the track, it’s out.”

No carry-overs “If I mentioned it in my 2019 list, it can’t be on this list.”

Spread the love

“Only one artist repeat is allowed, I get one double dip but other than that, it has to be a new artist.”

Beyond those rules, that’s really it. So without further ado, let’s get into it.

 10. Love You Like I Used To by Russell Dickerson

 Number ten on the list is one that, actually, surprised me. To me, Russell Dickerson is...well. I’m all about positivity on this channel, talkin’ about other artists. But. He’s solidly part of mainstream Nashville, y’all know my thoughts on the Nashville music industry. 

 It’s still -- I mean, it's a mainstream country song and was always meant to be, so it still follows the formula but it’s creative. It presents like a breakup song at first but right before the first chorus, you find it’s actually a love song. The first verse starts with

‘I've always loved you, oh, but something's changed’ but in the chorus you get [and she plays it on her piano, that her camera and microphone are set on and sings it] ‘I don't love you like I used to, this gets better every time you kiss me like this, it's stronger the longer I'm with you-’ and I think that’s a creative thing to do with a song.

 Like I’ve said before, I don’t hate every single pop country song, and I think there is value in and a place for, pop country. What I do hate is the vapid, formulaic trash that Nashville keeps pushing. So when a song like this that has the made-for-Nashville-radio arrangement but actually does somethin’ creative lyrically, I see it for what it is. And it’s good. It’s good.

 9. One Night Standards by Ashley McBryde

 I’ve actually had the pleasure of co-writin’ a song with Ashley before, so seeing how well this song’s done this year-- how well she’s done this year -- it’s been great. 

 This song’s about a woman laying down the ground rules for a one night stand and I love. this. song.

 A lot of people find this song sad, but I don’t think there’s anything sad at all about a woman owning her sexuality. I think this one line, ‘can’t you just use me like I’m using you’ makes people think it’s a sad song. Maybe it is! But like...I had casual sex all the time in college. I was absolutely using my one night stands for some meaningless, easy sex, and I knew they were using me for sex, and it was fine.

 It’s fine, that’s what a one night stand is. And to me, it sounds like she’s just here for some sex, and the guy’s like, trying to have conversation and do things “right” like offer his phone number, and she’s like, in the words of the great philosopher, Ke$ha, ‘just show me where your dick’s at.’ And I appreciate that.

 8. I Called Mama by Tim McGraw

 It might be because I’m seven months pregnant, and my son is starting university next fall, and my mother lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, but this song has started to make me cry so I can’t really, like, listen to it very often. But I think it is one of the most beautiful, honest songs on country radio this year. It’s a gentle ballad about not putting things off until it's too late, that starts off with a friend calling the narrator to tell him about the death of a friend, which leads to a phone call home to the narrator's mother.

 This song makes me think about myself, and my mother, and one day when my son is living on his own, my son and old lady me.

 The part in the second verse, ‘I can always hear her smile when I call, I just called to tell you that I loved you, I was missin' you and dad, and home, that's all’ -- I cry 1 out of 3 times. Probably. I miss my parents a lot. And I hope my son will miss me and call just to say he loves me and his father when he’s all grown up. The song makes me think about my family and my place in it.

7. Starting Over by Chris Stapleton

 This is another one that I feel on a personal level. It’s this positive ballad featuring his wife, Morgane, talking about how much they love each other and their desire to go through life’s bullshit together. And it just makes me think about my husband, and how much I love him.

 It’s another one I can’t listen to often, I get all misty-eyed. I can’t listen to love songs even when I’m not pregnant, I just call my husband like “I love you” “are you crying” “No!”

6. What If I Never Get Over You by Lady A

 This was one of my honorable mentions of 2019 so it doesn’t count, it’s allowed. Charles Kelley and Hilary Scott’s voices together are just - ugh, god, they’re chef’s kiss, perfect. And I...think this song is just about as good as Need You Now as far as their longing, breakup songs.

 I like how there isn’t a big beat-you-over-the-head climax moment because this song does not need one, it wouldn’t be right. Like, there is one but it’s not like ‘BAM’ there’s the climax! It’s very natural. It was a return to the rich, smooth sound of the band’s earlier hits and that’s the Lady A stuff I really loved. Even their fun stuff like Lookin’ For A Good Time and Love Don’t Live Here, from the earlier days, I prefer those to the overproduced kind of….made-for-radio stuff that snuck its way into their catalog over the years. Sonically, it seems like they’re returned to what makes them great together and I’m happy to see it.

 5. Bluebird by Miranda Lambert

 At number five on the list is Bluebird by Miranda Lambert. This whole album was on my best albums of 2019 list, and I am thrilled that Bluebird became a single. Miranda is a modern day legend in country music and this album especially just keeps proving it.

 Musically, lyrically, everything about this song works. The twists she makes on common metaphors in the English language like ‘when life gives you lemons’ instead of making lemonade she mixes them in her drink, they’re clever. I adore Miranda, it ain’t a secret, I’ve said as much to her gorgeous, gorgeous face, and it’s great seeing the songs from this album, including Bluebird, get the love it deserves.

 4. One Beer by HARDY and Lauren Alaina

 One Beer is a song about a teenage pregnancy, which. We all know my experience with that, but if you don’t, click here [points off to the side, and a card pops up that will link you to a video titled I Got Pregnant When I Was 14 #shoutyourabortion #endthestigma]. It kind of reminds me of Kenny Chesney’s There Goes My Life from...2000...2004? Is it? Wow, I’m old.

 Lauren Alaina’s voice is flawless, as always, and HARDY’s word play strikes once again. For my followers that didn’t grow up with English as their first language -- is this a thing in other countries, or is this an American thing? My UK, New Zealand, et cetera followers, comment down below if kids did this where you’re from too.

 Anyway, if a boy and a girl were so much as friends in like, first grade kids would tease you with this specific rhyme like, Joey and Sarah sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage --- and in the song, HARDY plays on that with ‘A boy and a girl and a three on the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes lust then a shotgun marriage, six months later comes a baby in a carriage’ and just love that kind of clever wordplay shit.

 3. I Wish Grandpas Never Died by Riley Green

 I first heard this song when I was in The States, driving around with Dan[iel Maitland] and it was on the radio, I thought it was some breakup song. But then the last line of the chorus hit me ‘I Wish Grandpas Never Died’ and I just start bawling and Daniel’s like ‘don’t get your tears on my new car seats!’

 Love you too, Dan.

It’s a beautiful song. Sad, but you can also tell he really loved his grandfathers, who’ve both passed away. He’s written several songs inspired by one or both of them. It’s a good song, good writing, I like how lowkey it is musically. And it’s honest songwriting that I wish country radio still had more of.

 2. Gaslighter by The Chicks

 After over a decade away from the music scene, my queen are BACK! Gaslighter was an amazing return and the rest of their album did not disappoint. Now, I don’t think the album was purely a country album, which I talked about in my full album review you can find here [points to the side, where a card pops up linking you to the video], but it is an album that I thoroughly enjoyed that included country songs. They experimented with this album, I love to see it. Let artists experiment without shaming them 2020! Anyway, the album does have lots of country songs and Gaslighter is one of them.

 Natalie Maines’ vocals are, as always, everything one would hope they’d be. They all looked great in the music video. It was a great middle finger to Natalie’s ex-husband, Adrian Pasdar. God, I bet it was fun to write.

 I love writing songs about Dan’s divorces with him since I don’t have one to write about. Keep getting divorces Dan, endless content. [cuts to a video of Daniel Maitland acting like she said that in person to him and he goes ‘rude.’]

 Stream The Chicks. Natalie, Martie, and Emily could stab me and I’d apologize to them, but the thing is, they never would. They’re too nice. They’re so nice. Collaborate with me again please, please, I love you. [mouths call me]

 1. Die From A Broken Heart by Maddie & Tae

 This song was another one of my honorable mentions in 2019, and I’m kicking myself for never properly talking about it until now. I’ve loved Maddie & Tae since Girl In A Country Song and Die From A Broken Heart is just -- god, it sounds so familiar.

 Like, it sounds like I did talking to my mother about getting my heart broken when I was younger. It’s honest, vulnerable songwriting that I can’t get enough of.