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childofhelios · 4 years ago

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NCT AS DIMENSION 20

okay so firstly, this is very niche but its been on my mind for literally ages now. im mostly gonna be focusing on fantasy high characters because that’s the one im most familiar with(d20 release free episodes of crown of candy already ;-; ya girl is suffering) i think i might write a fic or a couple more posts based off this concept but im not sure yet lvfksdvsk let’s get startedddddddd:

so i believe that 2000 line would be the most accurate for fantasy high main characters. i WAS gonna have dream at first but there are 7 members and there are only 6 mcs. so 2000 liners are pretty much perfect for this.

okay idk if it’s me or renjun gives off the extremely polite vibes at first? like thinking of early dream era where he seemed really quiet and chill. buuuuut then i also flashback to him putting chenle in a chokehold in like mfal era which makes me think of the cafeteria scene. i dont think renjun is as anxious as adaine. hes def more confident and more forceful but i think he has that ethereal factor adaine has. renjun would absolutely be a high elf because he would be NOTHING less and he deserves it. i think wizard class fits him really well! also his tiny little elf ear may have convinced me to make him adaine....

so jeno is literally the most like gorgug and it makes me wanna cry kjfnvlsdkl they’re both such loveable sweethearts that are too good for this world but then sometimes???? they just get super intense and fucking insane and it scares me sometimes holy shit. gorgug deals massive damage in battle and can fucking wreck people and jeno,,,,,,lets not talk about it. ALSO i do think jeno would absolutely act like gorgug does with zelda(probably more likely when he was gorgug’s age but oh well) gorgug can be very ditzy(himboish if that’s a better word) but he gives really good advice.and i feel like even though jeno is so foolish, he is supportive and is a wonderful friend. i just fucking love them so much

HAECAHN IS LITERALLY FIG I FUCKING SHIT YOU NOT: in this essay i will explain why lee haechan is actually fig in disguise. not ONLY does he give a lot of affection/flirt with basically everyone, he’s literally the perfect definition o f bard. like come onnnnnnn. also he’s VERY mischievous and gets the gang into 90% of the trouble and somehow gets them out of it. the “makes problems on purpose but solves them by accident” type. it’s not just because i wanna see him play a bass and jeno on drums bc that would be sexy of them noooooo absolutely not. if you ever see haechan in an outfit similar to fig’s, just know i’ll be literally laying in a grave just know this. STYLISTS PUT THIS MAN IN FISHNETS IMMEDIATELY FOR SCIENCE PURPOSES. bitches be emotional and then say theyre closed off,,,,, literally haechan at both the last dream show with mark and the dream show before they would have graduated

HES A JOCK DWEEB DO I NEED TO GO FURTHER?? okay so i know that jaemin is pretty introverted and quiet at times bc he likes to chill and im the same way, but when he’s out of his shell or with people who share his energy HES LEGIT LIKE FABIAN. my man’s was a SPEED SKATER, which is so fucking surprising but not the point. im saying that he’s also pretty lean and quick when he wants to be and that makes him good for the type of fighter fabian is. not to mention the weird relationship both fabian and gorgug have and also jaemin and jeno’s relationship. a l s o fabian straight up punched gorgug and then started becoming his friend after being spending time in detention and stuff. jeno and jaemin legit joined at the same time and were seatmates in school and stuff like that.... but this aint about those two. also jaemin’s intonation is fucking funny sometimes but other times i AM willing to fight him bc he wont talk normally (this is a joke vksjdkjs) but the same goes for fabian. the confidence they both have is literally unmatched, its actually kinda scary

first of all look at how spiffy they look, its actually adorable. second, look at my gremlin childrennnnnnnn i love themmmm(yes i know riz is a goblin no i dont care) okay shotaro is literally a child and he’s kinda still new so he’s a bit shy. but he ACTUALLY terrifies me with how talented he is. like in the recent relay when he learned the dance in like an hour. my guy is so quick at picking things up, he’s the perfect riz. also his korean has gotten so good in just like 3 and a half months so that just showssssss how hardworking he is. i dont know, i feel like shotaro is hiding some feral energy and we just need to wait it out and he’ll be foaming at the mouth or smth. shotaro is a liiiiiiitle too cool for the Ball but they both kinda have that dorky feeling to them. like the kid brother whose hair you ruffle all the time. but all in all i just think he’s neat :]

okay the photos dont match that well but thats because i was trying to find him in the pink takeoff outfit and i couldnt find a good screenshot but that’s not the point. now you’re probably thinking “helios, yangyang cant be kristen. make him the Ball or fig or anybody else.” ohoho quite the opposite my friend. i think yangyang is the most like kristen purely bc of the untapped chaotic energy these two have. i literally remember both my first impression of kristen and yy were that they were mostly harmless and then somehow they started speaking and holy shit im terrified of them now. it also makes yangyang being a healer very interesting. they’re both really caring and outgoing, but some of the shit they say literally makes me head fucking spin bc it’s so ridiculous.

Honorable mentions:

Taeyong is Prinicpal Aguefort bc he is one of the only ones who has that chaotic yet majestic energy he has.

Johnny is either Johnny Spells or Jawbone. Johnny Spells because he hangs out with the kiddos a lot and i just think of the “johnny spells fucks” bit and it makes me laugh so hard. but also Jawbone because he’s our emotional support werewolf basically. he also gives great advice.

Doyoung is Sandra Lynn because of how much of fig/haechan’s shit they have to put up with. also i think the dynamic’s are really funny and similar

Chenle as Torek,,,,,do i need to explain any further

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 #NCT #nct 2000 line #nct dream #nct x dnd #hopefully one of many #kpop x dnd #helios writes #huang reonjeon #prince lee jeno #fellow sunshine hyuck #loml na jaemin #taro taro shotaro #yangyangeth

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church-of-lavorre · 4 years ago

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(Ignore this ask if the "only one of these types of questions per person" rule is in play) 6, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 for the Tiberius/Caleb/Essek poly ship please cause I love these dorky spellcasters as a ship.

ask as many times as you’d like! i love writing headcanons and Tiberius/Caleb/Essek is a fun dynamic!

6) do i have any fankids for this ship?

well, until your first ask i hadn’t really thought about it! shadowgast didn’t feel like the sort of pairing where they’d want children, the two of them being more focused on study and research than family but with the inclusion of Tiberius i can definitely see them as parents! as of right now, i have 2 fankids for WidoStormHand, a boy and a girl. the little girl is named Kiva and has a mowgli-jungle book-esque vibe about her, she’s a baby half-elf druid that they stumbled upon one day while researching some ancient ruins. Tiberius couldn’t stand the thought of her being out in the world all alone so he got Caleb to use Frumpkin to calm her down; Essek allowed Caleb and Tiberius to bring Kiva home but kept saying that she couldn’t stay with them and that they’d have to find her a family soon that could take care of her properly and give her a childhood. of course, it never actually happened and it was only when Kiva was 14 that Essek realised that he’d never actually made true on his threats to give her to a family that could take care of her and, at this point, he loved her too much to bear the thought of sending her away. being a druid, Kiva’s magic was at the other end of the spectrum to Tiberius and Caleb’s so she spent most of her days learning magic with Essek or Caduceus when he could spare the time. she calls Caleb ‘Papa’, Tiberius ‘Dad’ and Essek ‘Father’. the boy’s name is August and he’s a human sorcerer; Caleb went to the empire for a short period of time to sort some things out and, while in Rexxentrum, had August attempt to pick his pocket. used to how sticky fingered Veth is, Caleb recognised the tug of someone going through his coat and caught August by the hand. Releasing a burst of bright light directly into Caleb’s face, August ran for it but Caleb soon tracked him down and asked where he’d learned to do that. August explained that he didn’t know, Caleb asked where his parents were and August admitted that they’d abandoned him so Caleb offered for August to come back to Roshona with him, the little boy agreeing. Essek and Tiberius hadn’t been expecting their boyfriend to come home with a child but the way that August clung to Caleb’s coat and looked at the two shyly had them warm up to him almost immediately. Kiva was confused as to where this little boy had come from and why he now had the room next to hers but she soon got used to the idea of having a little brother and they proceeded to steal any shreds of sanity their parents might have had left. when Caleb brought August home, Kiva was 12 and August was 5.

12) who brings home a bunch of rescue animals and who has to send them back?

Caleb, with his love of cats, once adopted 17 cats from the local animal shelter and tried to convince Essek that they were all the same cat, just really fast and of the faerie variety like Frumpkin. Essek knew that something was up but didn’t question it because Tiberius had yet to realise that not only did they have 2 children but they had an over abundance of cats. it took 2 months for Tiberius to realise the cats, but only after he tripped over one while reading and sipping a mug of coffee, spilling the coffee down his robe and all over his book. Tiberius loved animals, after all he had traveled for quite a while with Trinket, but once he’d become aware of the cats it was hard for him to ignore the way their fur stuck to everything and the incessant, never ending meowing so he put his foot down and said that they had to go. Caleb tried desperately to convince his boyfriends to let him keep all the cats but his pleas fell on deaf ears because Essek had long since gotten sick of the cats.

14) who gets cold and who offers them their jacket?

Caleb, being the fragile human that he is, often forgets how cold it gets in Roshona. Essek is used to plummeting temperatures and Tiberius has a naturally high core temperature, it comes with being a red dragonborn, so neither of them are as bad with the cold as Caleb. out of the three of them, Essek is generally the only one wearing cloaks to spare, Tiberius almost always forgetting to put one on before leaving because he’s so scatterbrained but also because he’s always warm, so he has to lend them to Caleb when the human starts to feel the chill. on the rare occasions that Tiberius actually has a cloak, Caleb prefers to steal his because it’s already very very warm from the dragonborn’s body temperature but taking Tiberius’ cloaks always end in a long lecture from the dragonborn about human body temperatures, fragility, the human immune system, weather patterns and meteorology. Essek doesn’t mind when this happens but Caleb sometimes does as all he wants is the cloak and Tiberius hasn’t given it to him yet because he’s talking so passionately.

15) who tucks who into bed after a long night of studying?

Essek and Tiberius are able to study for hours without needing sleep, though Essek as an elf always outlasts Tiberius but Tiberius can stay awake for a disturbingly long amount of time. Caleb always falls asleep first, his boyfriends letting him nap on the books as they keep studying for a little while before Tiberius gets excited about something and his voice raises considerably, almost shocking Caleb awake. at this point, Essek carries Caleb off to bed and tucks him in with a kiss on the forehead before returning to Tiberius in the library. they’ll spend a while discussing Tiberius’ find before Caleb appears in the doorway, hair sleep mussed, and demands that the two of them get their asses to bed because he’s cold.

16) who organises most of the dates?

Tiberius! Tiberius likes doing nice things for his boyfriends and always goes to great lengths to organise the best dates possible whether it be the three of them going on a picnic or getting Beau to let them into one of the Cobalt Soul libraries through a transportation circle and some fast talking. no matter what they do or where they go, Tiberius always makes sure to include elements of discovery and learning things in the dates because nothing is more fun than a little debate between himself and two of the most beautiful magical minds he’s ever met.

17) who gets them banned from their favourite restaurant and why?

this one was both Caleb and Tiberius’ fault though neither of them will accept that they had any part in it. sick of cooking, Essek made a reservation at their favourite restaurant in Roshona, at their favourite table overlooking the koi pond, and had both his boyfriends dressed nicely by 6:30 so they would arrive on time. they got to the restaurant, sat down and Caleb, unintentionally, summoned Frumpkin who was set purring around his shoulders. a waiter came over and notified the trio that animals weren’t allowed in the establishment and if they would be so kind as to remove it they could continue their evening. immediately, Tiberius stood up, throwing his chair back into the pond and demanded to know what the waiter’s issue was with the cat. the poor waiter just tried to explain that this was a restaurant and they could get shut down for having animals in there; still not understanding what the waiter was saying so the waiter went to get the owner of the restaurant. the owner tried to explain to Tiberius why Frumpkin couldn’t be in the restaurant, Essek behind him with his face in his hands and a tomato red Caleb. eventually calming Tiberius down, the owner went back to her work and so did the waiter. Caleb dismissed Frumpkin and the trio ate their meal in relative peace. as they were leaving the owner of the restaurant came up to them and politely asked that they never come back, Tiberius was furious but Essek immediately shut him up and replied with “trust me, we won’t be, i am so sorry”. Caleb then may or may not have bamfed Frumpkin into the kitchen of the restaurant and set all hell loose.

18) AUs i’ve seen for this ship?

i haven’t actually seen any AUs for this ship but i hope i start seeing some soon! if not, i’ll have to annoy some people until they do!

19) AUs i have for this ship?

i really like the idea of a college/university AU for Tiberius/Essek/Caleb. Caleb being brand new and in his first year of uni while Tiberius is a teachers assistant and one of the RAs in Caleb’s dorm. Essek is this genius student who is studying like 20 degrees at once and struggles with social interaction, Tiberius is completely unaware that Essek is in his form until he’s helping Caleb move in, opens a door and finds Essek sitting in almost complete darkness reading the biggest damn book he’s ever seen. for the first couple of months, no matter how hard he tries to interact with Essek, Caleb just can’t breach the other man’s walls. they have a couple of classes together and it turns out that one half of Caleb’s degree is the same as one of Essek’s. the entire time, Essek has been unable to communicate with Caleb because he goes into gay panic™️ whenever Caleb opens his mouth. still at a loss for how to make friends with Essek, Caleb goes to Tiberius and starts venting his concerns, the dragonborn trying and failing to provide emotional support. it’s fine though because Caleb finds this endearing. just before winter break, when caleb is planning on going home, Essek musters enough courage up to ask Caleb to get a coffee with him but he’s so awkward that he ends up inviting Tiberius along too, the dragonborn having been in the hallway at the same time to make sure anyone who needed to catch a train off campus was ready to go, having recognised him as the dorm RA and Caleb’s friend(?). the three go and get coffee, all of them very awkward at first until Tiberius starts rambling on about baking and chemistry and the importance of using the correct flour. soon, the three of them are in a deep conversation about molecular biochemistry (1/2 of Caleb’s double degree and one of Essek’s degrees) and quantum biomechanics (Tiberius’ degree and the other half of Caleb’s degree). from there the three of them fall in love! i just love the idea of that as an AU for them because they’re all so smart and i just wanna see the three magic boys as uni students! also, a hogwarts AU would be amazing! Essek and Caleb as Slytherins with Tiberius as their delightful Hufflepuff!

#the church of lavorre #critical role #dnd #the mighty nein #critical role campaign 2 #critical role campaign 1 #vox machina #caleb widogast #tiberius stormwind #essek thelyss #widostormhand #answered asks

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dwagon-pwince-blog · 5 years ago

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what is tinker’s personality like?

i started typing out the LONGEST theory post on what tinker’s personality is like but i got tired and forgot where i was going so here’s a much shorter post on why i think tinker will be more quirky than the moonshadow assassins (it is not just the fact that he isnt an assassin)

my prime piece of evidence is rayla. as observed by her behaviors, she’s a bit dorky! she runs like naruto. she made a sailor moon reference. her human impression. her snarky sense of humor. where did she get it from?

may i dare suggest, tinker!

based on what rayla said of her parents, they were on the more serious side (yknow, dragonguard sounds like a HARD, NO NONSENSE job) or weren’t around much for her to take after. there’s runaan, but from what we saw of him he’s also quite serious, maybe there’s some humor in there but he also seems like he isn’t the type to be a jokester or someone who has that sense of humor we see from rayla. so who’s left? sure, maybe rayla adapted her sense of humor and her dorky habits on her own, but wouldn’t it make sense if she got it from someone else? some who also (probably) raised her or was in her life a lot? someone like a certain craftsman?

i’ll wager that rayla adapted a lot of her quirky mannerisms from tinker! think about it, one of the only other (as we know) adults in her life, who many of the fandom has hypothesized is already a bit softer than runaan is (based on his face when making runaan’s pendant, his overall appearance feeling more casual, the fact that he’s (i THINK) the only adult moonshadow elf we see crying), and tdpofficial also very lovingly dropped a tinker fact for his birthday that he adds swirlies into all his pieces. imo that shows he’s less uniform, much more of a person who doesn’t conform exactly to what society will want (again, moonshadow culture seems a bit... strict. bleak. cold.). maybe things arent like that for him as a craftsman, but we cant know for sure until we get more info on the moonshadow culture. as far as being an absolute dork goes, thats totally up to my observations on rayla. she’s a dork, i figure she must have got it from someone else, my only idea of who that someone is would be tink.

i really hope tink is a bit of a goof, but of course is still the responsible, thoughtful, and detail-oriented person that you would expect the craftsman for a high level assassin should be. even if he doesnt at all turn out that way, i’m still so excited to see him! cant wait for season 3 gang !

#i hope this post makes sense #tdp #the dragon prince #tinker tdp #tdp theories #tdp theory #theories #tinker elf #my post #feel free to add on with your own ideas!

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apiratecalledav · 6 years ago

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More tropes and clichés of high fantasy medieval worlds that The Dragon Prince smashes with a hammer:

In anything else, Claudia would be mysterious and alluring with little-to-no sense of humor and a fondness for giving speeches about the seriousness and importance of her craft. “This isn’t a game!” would be her catchphrase. This show? She’s a bit dorky and quirky. She laughs hysterically at lame jokes and snickers about bodily functions that most fictional teen girls would say are embarrassing or gross. She uses dark magic to make pancakes extra fluffy. And while she can cheerfully crush all manor of disgusting things with her bare hands, she also went totally bananas for how cute baby Zym is.

Soren felt weird about attacking Rayla because she was unconscious. Not because “I can’t hurt a girl!”

People actually tell each other “I love you.” Out loud. And not just in the romantic sense. It makes me want to tear my hair out when characters go off on these dangerous adventures and the last thing they say to their sibling/parent/spouse/child is “I’ll be back... hopefully.” Sorry, I’m one of those sappy people who insist on telling you “I love you” multiple times a day because it’s so important.

Callum didn’t rush to help Rayla when she nearly got swept away by the storm. Even though saving her life would have been an easy opportunity for Callum to be heroic, as well as an excuse for him to hold on to her and really “break the ice” in regards to touching each other/physical affection. But his first priority was his brother (rightfully so) and this was something that Rayla had to do for herself.

Not so much a fantasy thing as a thing in general but it’s too good not to highlight here. When the kids are hiding from the leech worm thing, Callum and Ellis and Ava are separated from Rayla and Ezran. During this scene, both Callum and Rayla open up about their insecurities and get encouragement from their new young friends. It would have been so easy for Callum and Rayla to have this conversation together and give them a chance to bond but no. Because their characters don’t revolve around each other! Also, it was really nice to see two cute little kids be kind to awkward teenagers without it turning into “how sweet, the kid has a crush.”

It acknowledges that ruling a kingdom stinks and that being kind and wise doesn’t mean that it’s all going to be happily ever after. Harrow is a good person and a good ruler. But he still struggles about what to do. Because there are times when there aren’t easy choices. There are times there aren’t even any good ones. I know “heavy is the head who wears the crown” is a little more popular theme these days, but that’s usually more aimed at adults.

I feel like the king always is completely unaware that his advisor is up to something shady or that anything is amiss in their friendship. In this show, it’s clear that Harrow knows that something has been decaying for awhile in his friendship with Viren.

Not one wise, old mentor with a long white beard and a funny hat.

Two seasons in, and there appears to be no indication that Rayla is an elf princess. Or any kind of nobility. Please stay that way. 😬

Rayla has shoulder length-ish hair! Warrior type ladies always have very short hair (understandable for practical reasons, even though there are usually plenty of dudes with shoulder length hair) or stupidly long hair ('cause she has to still be girly and pretty). Maybe it’s not a huge deal, but I appreciate seeing something different.

It seems that elves don’t age really slowly, considering Rayla is 15 and looks like it. It’s nice that there’s no depressing implication that one day Rayla will look 25 when Callum is 80.

Corvus actually being understanding of Ezran’s and Callum’s friendship with Rayla, not just grudgingly tolerating it. This is a guy who probably grew up hearing horror stories about elves all of his life. That can’t be an easy thing to just shake off. But he never once says anything about how they need to be careful or not to trust her too much. He even kind of treats her as Callum’s proxy while Callum is unconscious by promising her that he will bring back Ezran. Then he trusts her to keep Callum safe when they part ways. Typically, she’d need to heroically save his life to gain that kind of respect from him.

Some variety in the weapons besides magic, swords, crossbows, and bows and arrows. Corvus’ grappling hook (Kaginawa to be more specific, I believe?) is sweet.

Part 1 of tropes/ clichés that TDP breaks.

#rayllum #rayla #callum #tdp corvus #tdp claudia #king harrow #harrow #tdp soren #the dragon prince #the dragon prince spoilers #tdp spoilers

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dragaoel · 5 years ago

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Jun'ichirō, aka Jun (- Silverdell)

the volume of the radio slowly dwindles down and only static noise is left to be heard

"those are dangerous words"

"not for him " Anja replies, her head laying on her outstretched arm that's on the table , her whole posture the embodiment of laziness. "loved ones always have it easier here"

"Not always" Jun says grimly and glances out of the window" it's because he's an outsider that he's allowed more freedom than any of us"

"aren't you a loved one too?"

Jun sighs deeply and turns towards the albino girl. For a second ,pain , frustration and a hint of panic can be seen in his eyes before it vanishes. He lets out a bitter laugh.

"and you saw where that lead me to,half dead in a ditch"

INTRODUCTION JUN :

half japanese half black

has waist long black thick hair and brown skin

has a ‘’prince in anguish’’ aura but masks it with him being over the top ridiculous and dramatic

is 5′11

born 12th october (libra)

‘‘the risk i took was calculated, but man, am i bad at math’‘

Jun is my favourite character, i made him on a whim as a side character in a old story and then i started using him more and more as a background character until i realized the potential he had. He's also one of the character whom i put into a lot of different aus, the most favourite one was where he was a vampire who loved laying in the garden and eat roses all day

Rukiya (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘i have dreams about them’‘ Rukiya says and plucks a string on her bass. The deep note rumbles through the room and her short curls moves along as she drops her head lower

‘‘i'm high in the sky, looking down onto a land that seems oh so familiar, with people screaming at me asking me to help them’‘

‘’do you understand them? ‘’ a band member asks

‘‘weirdly i do’‘ Rukiya answers ‘‘ it seems to be in my native language but also not, as if it was way before everything happened, you know, the ancient time’‘

INTRODUCTION RUKIYA :

Out of the both of them Rukiya is the older twin by 4 minutes

she’s also the artsy one than her sister whos into sports

wears black literally 24/7 and has dark circles despite sleeping enough

is 5′9

is black (kenyan)

mole on the left side of her cheek

fluent in her native tongue kiswahili

Majors in Film

loves anything that has to do with space nd aliens

born 24th january (aquarius)

has a sweet tooth

*cocks gun* ‘’basements haunted’’

i like the idea of twins that are completely the opposite of each other. Rukiya just like Imara have a big chunk of my personality in them, it's just that i lean more towards Rukiya than Imara.

Akiho (-Though the god’s have left)

Kneeling down, she cocks her head to the side, her eyes cold and her lips pressed into a thin line ‘’ dont think your actions won't have consequences’’ she sneers ‘’ the next time i see you harassing another girl again i'll make you wish you were never born’’

Akiho dusts herself , picks up the bat , glances one last time at the boy laying on the floor and walks away, the echoes of her shoes the only noise to be heard

INTRODUCTION AKIHO :

is 5′4

majors in theater

her fashion style is y2k

is the other one of the dumbass duo

has freckles on her nose

is japanese

doesn't like sweet things usually eats traditional sweets made by her mom or things that are sour/bitter, but salty food has to be spicy asf

born, 14th april (aries)

her side teeth are really pointy

has long peach colored straight hair

‘‘I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip’‘

Akiho comes from a family of 3, she's the youngest sibling and she has that energy. She likes to play with her oldest brother children, doesn't want any on her own though. will fight anyone who is disrespectful, esp towards women

Hyunjin (-Though the god’s have left)

The tall girl slumps her body onto her girlfriend shoulder, watching her fry the fish in the pan into charcoal. Hyunjin wrinkles her nose in a attempt to push the glasses up without having to actually touch them, before she sighs deeply.

‘‘Just-’‘ she starts and softly takes ‘‘let me do it, otherwise you'll burn the kitchen down like last time’‘

Praveena puffs her cheeks up ‘’that actually wasn't my fault, it was the gasherd-’’

‘‘i know i know’‘ Hyunjin chuckles and kisses her cheek ‘‘but i have a exam tomorrow and i would like not not have an indigestion’‘ she frowns and flips the fish over and sighs. It seems the fish can’t be saved anymore.

INTRODUCTION HYUNJIN :

korean

has short dyed blue hair, but the back part is longer than the front part.

is ‘5′10

majors in engineering technology

born 14th may (taurus)

has literally no sense of style and wears glasses cause she has a slight astigmatism that you can't really see

has a mole next to her right eye

‘‘a financially unstable mess but at the liquor store they call me ma’am’‘

honestly out of all the characters i draw hyunjin the most. In the beginning she had shoulder length but then i shortened it because i liked it more. She's an only child and her mother runs a bakery while her father works in a office. She's the calm type that's constantly tired because she never sleeps

Praveena (-Though the god’s have left)

She shuffles the cards and lays them out on the table. The customers sees the fool, the moon and the star. Praveena touches them with her fingertips ‘’ you seem to be either at the beginning or at the end of a new journey ’’ she pauses and thinks ‘’but either way you're prepared for what is to come’’

The customers nods ‘’i'm soon moving away from this city’’

‘‘I see’‘ Praveena counters and points at the next card ‘‘the moon indicates that you’re hesitant and fearful in your decision, there might be something from the past that is holding you back and influencing you in the present and possibly the future

the customer tenses up, her eyes fixed on the card and her lips tight

‘‘though’‘ Praveena continues ‘‘at the end you’ll be at peace and glad that you pushed through all the turbulences

INTRODUCTION PRAVEENA :

tamil ,dark skin with long wavy violet dyed hair

Hyunjin’s girlfriend

has calm energy but is also very erratic

loves astrology & tarot

majors in psychology

5′5

born 20 july (cancer)

has droopy eyes

‘‘god cant help you now’‘

i made praveena cause i wanted a harmonious wlw couple, that have that ‘’old married pair’’ plus out of all the ocs those two are the ones that i drew first. Praveena has the tendency to blow things up how though is a mystery and hyunjin always has to clean up everything.

Imara (-Though the god’s have left)

‘‘no listen, it doesn't make sense why would you wear a bra and some tight ass pants knowing you’re about to fight people who have knives and GUNS?’’ Imara asks perturbed.

‘‘Cause men are horny’‘ Rukiya retorts and raises an eyebrow

‘‘still doesn't make sense like wow!, some fucking boobs, like really? really? is that what gets you going? just some breast pressed up in a bra that is too damn tight and a flat stomach on a skinny ass girl that has absolute no muscles despite the training she went through?

Rukiya sighs ‘’ is this about-’’

‘‘lara croft yes’‘ Imara interrupts and slams her finger on the table ‘‘and im going to die on this hill that men shouldn't be allowed to create games!’‘

INTRODUCTION IMARA:

plays games a lot, esp the loz series

has curly dyed blonde hair that's mostly tied in a ponytail or a bun because she cant be bothered with it, though rukiya helps her all the time cause she never really learned how to deal with curly hair.

Is on a baseball sponsorship because she's that good (she's a pitcher)

is totally tone deaf unlike her twin

isnt good with crows ie: strangers crowding around her after her team won a game

is kenyan

5′9

has a mole next to her upper lips on the left side

loves 90's rnb & hip hop music

‘‘he proclaimed his undying love and asked me to do the same, i had to overcome my desire to laugh’‘

Imara does have a slight complex about being a twin because she feels like Rukiya is the cooler one despite people loving her too. She's loud and boisterous basically a chad, but better. She's dorky and literally spends her free time gaming but she doesn't just play any game shes v specific when it comes to that. Her mom always has a headache because of her but thats okay but in the end her mom loves her to death.

Ava (-Though the god’s have left)

‘’do you you know how much it's sucks that at the end of all of this , i'm the one waiting for them?’’ Ava exclaims ‘’that i'm the one who will have to watch them go through the door to be evaluated? that i'm ultimately the end?

‘‘you’re not all alone-’‘

‘‘you don't understand’’ Ava interrupts, as she points at the short girl ‘’ i will have to watch my mom, my family that raised me go through that door and know that that will be the last time i will see them in that body!’’

INTRODUCTION AVA:

She’s haitian

keeps her hair in a short chin length dark blue bob

majors in sociology

she and akiho are the ‘’comedy duo’’ of the group

is 5′6

born 4th november (scorpio)

‘‘my only crime was that i was down to clown’‘

When i make akiho i felt like she needed a companion so i made ava, both of them were inspired by the early 2000 shows characters. Although Ava likes to goof around she's also very studious and serious about her future. She comes from a family of 6 and she’s the second oldest. She and her older sister fight constantly

Nïrnaya (Dawn over the horizon)

‘‘Magic’‘ the elf stars, her tall stature hunched over the herbs ‘’ is in the nature we’re surrounded in, in the mountains that stand high and the rivers that flow into the deep sea’’

she straightens up and walks over to Nïrnaya ‘’ we might lose everything.’’ She pokes the girl on the forehead ‘’but magic will forever stay with you because its the core of your being‘’

INTRODUCTION NÏRNAYA :

shes a mischievous 15 year old

has black curly long hair that are mostly braided

does not want to do this whole adventure thing because of how it reminds her too much of the ‘’chosen one trope’’ and thats too much responsibilities

born during the year of the earth dragon

‘‘snacking between meals is the least, but tastiest, of my problems’‘

i came up with this story and character because i wanted a book where a black girl for once was the main character, where she could experience the same thing as other mc (ie eragon etc) basically i wanted black representation in a medieval-esque world but with my own spin because the world itself is not very western like

#writeblr #character introduction #original character #writer #hua's word #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #character intro post #oc moodboard

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heoneyology · 6 years ago

Text

for @yooyonqha! a (kind of) little get to know monsta x post! ❤️

monsta x is a 7 member group who debuted with trespass on may 24th, 2015! they were formed through starship entertainment’s survival program no mercy (I didn’t watch it bc I wrote off survival shows after yg’s win but I hear it was intense and really harsh). their music style now is very versatile but they started off with a lean toward hip-hop.

their name monsta x comes from mon (“my” in french) and “my star” and combined means “monsters conquering the kpop scene.” the x in their name symbolizes an unknown existence. their fandom name is monbebe which literally is the french mon + bebe = “my baby.”

idk if this is going to help you learn them at all but I hope it does, either way it was fun to write c:

shownu

leader, main dancer, and lead vocalist

his animal representative is a bear 🐻

you can recognize him by: his eye smile and... muscles... he has broad shoulders and is one of the tallest members

one of his nicknames is “shownubear” that monbebe often call him

count on the stylists to almost always have him basically half naked, or during big events like mama make him take his shirt off

has the husky voice!!

actual husband material, considered the “dad” of the group

he’s quiet and shy, sometimes comes off as awkward, weird, and dorky, but is a sweetheart and is very down to earth and genuine

when the members were asked if they had any complaints about shownu as a leader or if he had any faults, the others complimented him and said they don’t think anyone else would be fit for the position and that he’s the best

isn’t a strict leader, and some people think it’s strange he’s the leader because he doesn’t seem to have much “presence” because he’s quiet, but mx adore him and listen to everything he says

boy can dance! and he participates in helping with mx’s choreography (x / x)

he recently has been referring to himself as “nunu” and also he has a mukbang on M2 going on

wonho

lead vocalist, lead dancer, and the visual

his animal representative is a rabbit 🐰

you can recognize him by: narrow nose and big elf ears! also muscle man, his pecs are huge...

another member you can count on the stylists to have either half naked or completely shirtless

former ulzzang and appeared on ulzzang shidae season 3

considered the caretaker of the group (but not the mom, he just likes to care for his members)

he has a fear of heights, a baby :(((

his image in mx is the sexy, confident guy, which he upholds quite well... lots of lip biting, fan service, ab-flashing, winking, etc.

but... in actuality, he’s a dork, he’s shy, and also a bit awkward too and is very soft and soft-spoken, and caring. giggles a lot. like, not laugh, giggles... it’s adorable!!

also the most sensitive (and temperamental) member, he cries the most easily (and gets upset the most easily) please protect him

gets teased by the other members a lot and ends up complaining that they don’t respect him as an elder

also teases the other members a lot, though, mostly hyungwon, changkyun, and kihyun

he likes ramen. he calls it his “soul food”. feed him.

minhyuk

vocalist & visual

his animal representative is a puppy 🐶

you can recognize him by: his square face, sharp cheekbones and jawline, and unchanging hairstyle through the eras

beagle/mood maker of the group, he has a funny personality and cracks a lot of jokes

really really really wants to be an mc and tbh he’d make a great one

literally never shuts up... I don’t think?

overall has a very energetic, outgoing, and upbeat personality talks a loooot

his hairstyle has changed the least during every era so he’s pretty easy to recognize after time; hair color has changed but cut hasn��t

husky voice number two!!

actually when he speaks his voice is kind of high pitched? but when he sings it gets raspy it’s... pretty attractive...

fangirls are jealous because he has a tall and lean build, thin legs, and sharp features. he’s a pretty boy.

on no mercy he was one of the trainees that everyone kept saying wouldn’t make it to the final lineup

one of the clingiest members... not sure if he loves skinship or not but you can always see him hugging or touching his members

despite being clingy and so energetic, he’s a good listener and deeply cares for the members

kihyun

main vocalist

his animal representative is a hamster 🐹

you can recognize him by: his nose? idk... he has a wide nose to me so that’s how I learned him. monolid and has thin lips and a heart-shaped face with a very deep/pronounced crease between his lower lip and chin.

also he is the tiniest member. he smol...

actually doesn’t like being a hamster, said it “doesn’t suit him” even though the boy literally is as cute as a hamster

HIGH NOTES!?

he has cheek dimples!!! like... cheek bone dimples? they are tiny and are higher on his cheeks and they usually show when he’s laughing

favorite food is chicken. so much so that when mx went to the beach, instead of choosing to eat fish when they had the chance, he chose chicken. shownu has a grudge against him for it.

voted by the members as being the most maknae-like in personality

lowkey is a savage, highkey passive aggressive. he has a very sweet personality and is kind but sometimes gets snarky and blunt with his members and it’s hilarious

also has a death glare and literally the worst at controlling his facial expressions, especially when confused or disgusted

mom of the group; he nags like no other!

hyungwon

lead dancer, vocalist, visual

his animal representative is a turtle 🐢

you can recognize him by: his well-known, very full and luscious? lips; also always looks Perpetually Tired and that’s a Mood

he is a living, breathing meme because of his infamous bitch face... even starbucks knows who he is (he’s actually referred to as “the meme guy” sometimes)

boy got moves (he, too, can dance!)

he’s the tallest member, he’s got the gangly model body

used to be a popular model before joining mx, participated in a lot of fashion shows

he DJs now and his stage name is h.one

sleeps like the dead, according to himself. according to other members, he’s the most difficult to wake up and will often fall back asleep after being woken (what a mood)

Absolutely Detests Aegyo

the quietest member, tends to not talk much during interviews or variety shows

100% will Not Put Up With His Members’ Shit (you can physically see his soul leaving his body when he’s judging them)

sighs a lot... also a Mood

laughs with his entire body like an adorable dork and claps like a seal it’s endearing and hilarious

joohoney

main rapper & vocalist

his animal representative is a honeybee 🐝

you can recognize him by: DIMPLES!!! FOR!!!!! DAYS!!!!!

recently changed his stage name to “joohoney” from his name jooheon because the character for “heon” is often mispronounced as “hun” and he was trying to make it easier for fans (also stated he always wanted this as his stage name, he’s actually a Big Softie)

absolute love of my life just kidding that’s not an actual fact

Aegyo King

considered the best rapper among starship trainees

he speaks english pretty fluently (some may argue otherwise but under pressure and on the spot he properly used “well” instead of “good” like I’m not even that decent at english)

very high energy personality but is also very gentle and easygoing, kind of roll-with-the-punches and very protective of his members

loves skinship and is definitely the most clingy member

had so much energy as a kid that his pastor stuck him up on stage to perform with his church's choir and that’s how he discovered he wanted to perform

helps to write, compose, and produce mx songs

he has a dog named sanche and two kittens named yoshi and gucci that have their own catstagram

thought of as the scariest member, is actually the most easily scared member

favorite food is dumplings. considers himself a dumpling expert. has stated if he were a food, he would be a dumpling.

I.M

lead rapper, vocalist, and maknae

his animal representative is a wolf 🐺

you can recognize him by: the eyebrow piercing he recently got (funnily enough it was just an aesthetic in the jealousy mv then the boy went and actually got his eyebrow done) also has a wide nose and it’s insanely straight; soft yet sharp features?

fluent in english, lived abroad because his dad is a scientist and work demanded travel (he lived 3 years in boston and 4 in israel)

was disliked by fans for a while and had a really rough time on no mercy because he joined halfway through the series (also the only to join late and make the final lineup)

is closest with jooheon, who was the first to befriend him on no mercy

helps jooheon with writing lyrics for mx

husky voice number three!!

has a... habit... of playing video games naked... in the dorm...

has a cheeky personality and no one can convince me otherwise. he’s an evil maknae. also an illegal maknae. he’s a little shit. I’d like to personally fight him.

tbh though he’s super sweet but he’s also a huge flirt and says things sometimes that definitely have double meanings (cue: changkyun you’re on broadcast please stOP)

had a hard time finding his place in the group so even though he seems very outgoing, he’s actually quiet around people he doesn’t know and kind of comes off as cold or aloof at first

he’s weird once he opens up

#this was... fun to write #i feel like i gave jooheon too many facts oops #monsta x

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bmwiid · 6 years ago

Note

Are you still taking prompts? Who would be DM in a D&D campagne in the house? Ransom and Holster? Who would be a bard?

So I legit think that a Haus D&D sesh would be Holsters idea - Dex doesn’t want to be involved because he’s not a NERD, but Chowder is so excited to try that he feels bad and plays anyway.

Holster wants to play, not be a DM, but it was his idea so he’s a little bummed out - but he asks Lardo if she’ll make him a cool map and shes SO INTO IT that she builds this whole world around it and Holster casually suggests that she be the DM because her word is law anyway...

Holster plays a halfling rogue. He’s small and sneaky and nothing like the blond giant he actually is - he enjoys it a lot. He was worried that no one else would like it as much as he did but then after the first game everyone was asking when the next would be and he was so happy.

Rans (who went along with the idea because his best bro wanted him to) went for a wizard because Harry Potter, right? only he’s super into it after the first game and ends up with pages of back story and he changes her race from human to gnome so him and Holster can trick people with the two ‘small’ races in a trench coat move. They play best friends. No one comments on the flirting between the two characters because they are pretty sure the boys don’t even know they are doing it.

Shitty is a Paladin. Human female. He spends his game ‘teaching’ the word of his god by beating the shit out of all the assholes Lardo makes and he refuses to play when he’s high because he takes it seriously and he thinks his character would be disappointed in him if he did.

Dex picked a bard *just* so Nursey couldn’t. He’s a ‘hot elf guy’ and he takes the piss out of things that Nursey has done or said by folding them into his character. He deliberately made Dex his lowest score so he always fails those checks and Lardo gleefully makes him fall on his ass all the time.

Nursey (pissed at Dex) made a dumb jock Goliath who loses his temper at the slightest thing. He pretty much did it just to take the piss out of Dex, but now he’s super invested and protective and that wasn’t supposed to happen...

Chowder is a Druid and he only did is for beast shape because he now gets to be a fucking SHARK and he’s so into it!!! He’s a female elf and no one wants to point out that he modeled her 100% on Farmer because they are pretty sure he hasn’t realized it himself.

The rest of the team don’t play, but Bitty makes the snacks and loves to watch them play, he’ll sit on the floor and hand Lardo the maps and minis as she asks for them. He makes themed snacks and bought actual tankards that the boys can use which Dex thought was kinda dorky but it’s now the only thing he’ll drink out of.

Jack watches when he’s there. He’s pretty quiet because he once made the mistake of pointing out that ‘true historical battles...’ he didn’t get much further before Lardo glared him into silence. He really likes the way that the boys get really creative with what they want to do and although he doesn’t play himself, he’s really invested in the story.

The rest of the team either watch or steer clear of the living-room when the game is on. It’s not on a planned schedule - maybe once a month if that, but when they do play, it’s an epic 8 hour + session. Once they played for 23 hours before Chowder passed out on the couch and Bitty called it a night.

And thats what I think!!

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theradicalscrivener · 7 years ago

Text

60th Street Part 2: Jingle Bed Rock

Kris and Nick are back for another adventure, and this time it’s Nick who goes to visit Kris at his place, but visiting the North Pole isn’t as easy as visiting the suburbs. In a land as steeped in magic as the North Pole, there’s bound to be some side effects for visitors.

[First Chapter] || [Character Art Gallery]

Nick had been wired and jittery the entire flight. Normally he didn’t mind hopping in a jet and zooming across the country, but this was a different experience altogether. His current vehicle was careening across the sky at hundreds of miles per hour, and Nick was along for the ride without so much as a roof nor a seatbelt to hold him in. To make matters even more bizarre, Nick’s pilot was a two-inch tall elf who was singlehandedly holding the reins of all eight of Santa’s reindeer. Yet despite his unusual travel accommodations, what truly had Nick so on edge was the fact that he was going to be meeting his boyfriend’s family for the first time. Meeting a lover’s family was always an awkward experience, but Nick’s already overactive anxiety was kicked into hyperdrive by the fact that his boyfriend’s grandpa was none other than Father frickin’ Christmas himself! In fact, even though they had been going steady for very nearly a year now, Nick still had trouble wrapping his head around the fact that the cute guy he was dating was none other than the currently active Santa Clause.

Kris was a far cry from the Jolly, old, fat man that graced every postcard and promo around Christmas time. Kris was as lean and lithe as they come, and didn’t look a day over twenty. He could have just as easily been one of Nick’s classmates instead of the acting chief executive of a global gift-giving operation, and that wasn’t even touching on Kris’s choice of attire. The bulky, red, fur-trimmed Santa suit was a thing of the past. Kris instead opted for a bright red ensemble of knee-highs, booty-shorts, and a crop-top.

Just thinking about his adorable boyfriend was enough to get Nick excited in yet another way. He could feel his dick chubbing up in his pants. Nick was very glad for his custom-fitted Kringle Corp. boxer briefs because had it not been for those, his boner would have been visible from miles around. As much as Nick loved having a cock that dwarfed the rest of his body, he wasn’t too keen on sprouting a noticeable stiffy in front of his elfin pilot and was even less keen on having a massive wood when he arrived at the North Pole to meet his boyfriend’s family.

Nick tried to direct his attention towards anything other than how hot his boyfriend was. Fortunately, there was no shortage of breathtaking sights to take in. The sleigh was currently careening over the Pacific Ocean, and down below Nick could make out large chunks of ice floating amidst the waves and seafoam. There was no doubt about it – they were getting into the frigid northern climes, and it wouldn’t be long til they reached the fabled North Pole. Nick had no idea what to expect when he got there. His mind was flooded with images of various Christmas specials and Hollywood movies that portrayed the North Pole as an ambiguously European town that was covered in snow and draped in sparkling lights, but he knew better than the trust Hollywood’s interpretation.

“We’re beginning our final approach,” The pilot said. His voice was surprisingly clear and crisp especially given how tiny he was. It sounded almost as if his voice was being relayed directly into Nick’s ear via a Bluetooth headset or some such device, but Nick was wearing nothing of the sort.

Nick glanced around, but try as he might he could not catch a glimpse of the fabled North Pole. He was just about to give in to disappointment when the sleigh came upon a rise. As the sleigh approached the top of the hill, a magnificent sight came into view. The landscape opened up into a large, polar basin, and in the center of the lowlands was a massive, glass dome. It looked almost as if there was a snow globe right in the middle of the frozen wasteland! The globe shone and glimmered with thousands of sparkling lights, but it was tough to make out specifics through the frosty glass. It wasn’t until the sleigh had finished its approach the Nick could begin to make out what he was seeing.

The sleigh passed through the glass wall as easily as if it had been the skin of a soap bubble and not a five-foot-thick layer of reinforced plexiglass. As soon as he was through the layer of glass, the landscape before him was clear as day. In fact, it was day. It had been so dark in the tundra that Nick had forgotten that it was merely mid-afternoon in his time zone. But inside the bubble, the sun shone bright in the sky. The sun wasn’t the most amazing thing about the view though. Before him was a sprawling city scape. There was a veritable bustling metropolis contained within the dome. It seemed impossible that such a huge city could exist within the glass bubble he saw as he approached, but as the sleigh continued its descent, things started to fall into place.

The sleigh coasted to a stop. When it finally came to a halt, Nick began to exit the vehicle, but he was cut short before he could even get one foot onto solid ground. “NICK!!” shouted a very familiar and very excited voice. Nick managed to look up just in time to see the red and white blur of his boyfriend leaping at him like a pouncing tiger. Nick ended up toppling backwards right back onto the seat he had just gotten up from. Nick found himself lying flat on his back with his boyfriend straddling him and grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat.

“H-hey…” Nick murmured awkwardly. They had seen each other no more than a few weeks ago, but somehow Nick had forgotten just how cute Kris was, and seeing him so unrestrainedly happy was almost too much to bear. Nick could feel the blood rushing to his face as well as heading down south. Nick’s face burned bright red, and his dick steadily chubbed up.

It took a second, but the daze steadily began to fade. Nick was just about ready to say something more – something less dorky than just a stammering ‘hey’, but he was cut short by his boyfriend’s lips against his own. The kiss was more fantastic than even the magic city around them. One kiss led to another which lead to another. Neither lover was really sure who had started to use tongue first, but by the third kiss they were Frenching harder than the entire cast of Les Mis. The two of them could have kept at it for hours, and in fact, they could have taken things even further. Kris’s hands had already found their way towards Nick’s fly and were beginning to fumble with the top button when another voice cut in to snap them back to reality – however fantastical said reality may be.

“Ah, to be young again…” said the kindly voice of an older gentleman. Kris quickly sat up and looked back over his shoulder, and Nick did his best to prop himself up on his elbows but couldn’t do more than that with his boyfriend sitting on his stomach.

“Gramps!” Kris shouted happily.

“Gramps…? Gramps!?” Nick sputtered. He sat up so fast that he practically launched his boyfriend off of him. Nick hopped to his feet and found himself standing face to face with a smiling older man. The person was not at all what Nick was expecting. Sure, he had the rosy cheeks, the full figure, and the flowing white beard, but his outfit was all wrong. The guy was wearing khaki cargo short, an awful Christmas socks and sandals combo, and the ugliest Christmas sweater Nick had ever had the misfortune of seeing, but even with the tacky getup, Nick knew that this was none other than Father Christmas himself.

“omigoshit’ssanta,” Nick blurted out.

“Retired, but yes,” Santa said. “But there’ll be plenty of time for introductions later. You must be exhausted from the long flight. Let’s get you out of the cold and set up with a nice, warm bed.”

“Yessir. Right away, sir.” Nick murmured in awe.

“Relax. Relax.” Santa said softly. “You’re our guest. We want you to feel comfortable here.”

“Yessir. Right away, sir.” Nick blurted out once more.

Santa gestured for Nick to follow and then turned and headed down the main thoroughfare towards the center of the city. It took Nick a moment to collect his wits enough to even attempt to follow, but fortunately he had some help getting on his way. Kris was at his side and ready to give him encouragement.

“You’re such a dork,” Kris said sweetly. He leaned over and gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek before taking off after his grandfather with Nick’s rolling suitcase in tow.

Nick was too flustered from his awkward first meeting with his childhood hero to really take stock of what all had just happened. He was only vaguely aware that Kris didn’t need to step up on his tippy toes to give Nick a quick kiss like he had in the past, but he chalked that up to the boots that Kris was so fond of. As Kris bolted forwards, Nick could get a quick glance at the soles of Kris’s boots, and sure enough the layer of rubber on the bottom was at least an inch thick, but Nick didn’t spend too much time checking out his boyfriend’s boots – especially not when his boyfriend’s cute booty was tightly packed into his little shorts and was wiggling for Nick’s viewing pleasure.

Nick regained his senses and set off after his hosts. It didn’t take long for his sense of wonder to overtake his embarrassment from his first meeting with Santa. The city of the North Pole really was a fantastic sight. Not only was it a bustling metropolis that would have made New York City look tame, but it was so small to boot! The elves that scrambled through the streets were only inches tall, and the entire city was built to scale. Even the tallest buildings only reached up to Nick’s nose. He felt like King Kong in the middle of Manhattan, but fortunately his visit was nowhere near as destructive as it had been for the king of the apes. There was a narrow footpath that cut through the center of the city and led from the landing pad all the way towards a small cottage in the center of town.

Small was a bit of a misnomer. The pathway was narrow and the cottage was small only by human standards. By elfin standards the ‘narrow’ pathway would have been wider than an eight-lane interstate, and the ‘small’ cottage was as wide as ten city blocks and three times taller than even the most massive skyscraper the elf city had to offer.

Just exploring the city could have taken a full day unto itself even at Nick’s comparatively titanic size, but he didn’t dare stray from the walkway nor did he want to fall behind his hosts. Nick tried his hardest to keep pace with his boyfriend, but it seemed like with each step he took, Kris got ever so slightly further ahead of him. Even when the entire entourage finally reached the rustic cottage the other two seemed strangely distant and yet closer than before, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what he was experiencing. Nick chalked it up to the jet lag and lack of sleep catching up to him. He had been so wired during the days leading up to his trip that he barely slept at all. The smell of warm cider and cinnamon coming from the cozy cottage seemed to amplify his grogginess. Nick shambled up beside his boyfriend and groggily nuzzled up against him. He was so sleepy that he hardly even realized that his head didn’t even reach Kris’s shoulder.

The last thing Nick heard before he finally succumbed to exhaustion and the soothing aura of the cottage was Santa saying, “Looks like you better get the little guy to bed.”

Nick had no idea how long he was out of it. When he finally awoke it was because he could feel something bumping against the side of his face. He couldn’t tell what it was. It was far too huge to be anything ordinary. It was like taking a battering ram to the side of the face, only the battering ram had just enough give to it and was only gently nudging him so it didn’t hurt at all.

“Hey… Wake up, sleepy head,” Nick could hear Kris softly calling to him.

“Whuh…? What’s going on?” Nick murmured groggily.

“Hehe, good. You’re awake. Buddy said you were a little high strung on the flight up, so I thought I would prepare a little something to help you unwind, but it looks like it was a little too strong. You conked out before we even got you in the door,” Kris explained.

“Hmm? Oh… to be honest I haven’t been sleeping much lately. I was too excited to get see you again and too nervous about meeting your family,” Nick explained. He yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was, but he was so comfy even with the ridiculously thick and stiff blanket that covered his lower body.

“I guess that makes sense, but there’s no need to be so worried. They are all great people and I’m sure they’ll love you,” Kris replied.

“I hope so… when will I get a chance to meet them anyway?” Nick asked.

“Soon, I hope. It’s so busy this time of year and everyone has their own task to take care of. Even I only have a few minutes to spare before I have to go prep the sleigh for tonight, but I had to see how you were taking the changes before I left you alone for the evening,” Kris explained.

“Handling the changes…?” Nick asked. The grogginess that hung over him vanished in an instant. He sat bolt upright in bed and glanced around the room. The bed in question stretched on around him for what seemed like miles, and what he mistook as an oversized comforter was actually his own t-shirt which had pooled around his diminutive body. “What… the… fu-,” Nick began to say, but before he could finish the statement his boyfriend’s colossal fingertip pressed against his lips effectively silencing him. Even just the tip of Kris’s finger was bigger than Nick’s whole head.

“Language, little guy. Wouldn’t want gramps to hear you. That’s a fast pass to the naughty list for sure,” Kris said with a chuckle.

Nick tried to shove the giant finger which was bigger than his whole body away from him. Thankfully, Kris was happy to oblige and moved his hand out of the way. “What did you do to me?” Nick asked.

“Me? Nothing, but I may have mentioned before that the only people who can stay in the North Pole are the Kringle family or elves.” Kris explained.

“So, does that mean… I’m an elf?” Nick asked in awe. His hands shot up to his ears and he began feeling the tip of his earlobes for proof. Sure enough, his earns had become pointed at the top just like the rest of the elves.

“How long am I going to be like this?” Nick asked.

“Only as long as you’re in the North Pole. You’ll revert to normal when you leave.” Kris explained.

“That’s a relief,” Nick said with a sigh.

“Hehe. I dunno. I think it’s a good look for you,” Kris said. He began to gently and playfully poke Nick’s face. “Haha. You’re so cute and cuddly like a little teddy bear. I just want to hug you and play with you.”

“Come on. Cut that out,” Nick grumbled and swatted at his boyfriend’s colossal finger, but despite his grumbling, it was clear he wasn’t entirely annoyed by Kris’s antics. For starters Nick had a huge grin on his face and an even larger bulge forming in the fabric of the shirt which pooled around his lower body.

Kris’s eyes darted towards the forming tent in Nick’s shirt. “Oh my. You’re enjoying this more than I thought.” Kris said. There was a devious tone to his voice that matched the glint in his eye.

“Well, since we’re both here, and I’m already ‘up’ think we can have a little fun?” Nick asked.

Kris thought it over for a second. “I dunno… I only have a few minutes to spare. I really have to get back to work.” He explained.

“But what about your time powers? Can’t you just stop time for a bit?” Nick asked.

“My powers are tied to the holiday. They’re not nearly as strong today as they will be tomorrow. Why do you think I have to visit all the kids in one night?” Kris explained.

“So that’s a no?” Nick pouted.

“Not necessarily… I won’t be able to stop time, but it is Christmas Eve. I should be able to slow time enough to give us time for a little bit of fun,” Kris explained. A devious smirk was slowly forming at the corners of his lips.

“I guess that means we better hurry,” Nick replied. The smile on his face was just as devious as the one on Kris’s.

“You betcha, little man,” Kris replied happily.

Kris hopped up from his perch on the edge of the bed. The motion caused the tiny Nick to bounce what felt like a few feet into the air before landing back down on the plush mattress. The jostling caused Nick to slip even further out from underneath his enormous discarded shirt. Now the collar of his shirt no longer covered his legs, but that didn’t mean his legs were exposed. His dick had shrunk alongside the rest of him, but his cock and balls were still massive enough to eclipse his lower body. His cock, which had once been upwards of twenty feet before his conversion to elfdom was now almost a solid foot of fat cock. His dick would look impressive on a porn star, but on an elf who was merely a few inches tall it looked absolutely monstrous. Nick’s cock dwarfed his entire body. Even just one of his massive testes was bigger than his whole body. Had it not been for Nick’s custom-fitted Kringle Corp. shorts, he would never be able to get around on his own, but those shorts, much like the rest of his clothing, had fallen off of his dwindling frame during the shrinking process.

“Ooooh. Loving the view,” Kris said playfully. “Now then… let me return the favor.” Kris winked seductively at his tiny little lover and then began a saucy striptease. He pealed his skin-tight crop top off first revealing his lean, lithe upper body for his tiny boyfriend’s viewing pleasure. Then he kicked off his boots and slowly began to peel off his tight little booty shorts. As the waistband of his shorts slid down his thighs, his own massive cock steadily spilled into view. It was a view that Nick had seen many times before and yet one he would never get enough of. He loved watching his boyfriend’s massive cock spilling out from behind those red shorts. Each inch after fat inch of cock slowly came into view until there was more than a foot of fat cock hanging out, but still there was more to reveal. Kris’s beach ball sized nuts had barely fully come into view and his shorts were already down around his shins. Even once Kris’s shorts were down around his ankles, his cock was still not completely revealed. It wasn’t until he kicked off his shorts that the last foot of his phenomenal phallus finally spilled into view. Kris’s cock was a solid four feet long, and it was still in the process of chubbing up. Even now Kris’s cock looked to be the size of a double decker bus to the diminutive Nick, and it was sure to get even bigger as it stirred fully to life. Nick knew he would love every second of the show.

“Hehe. You look like you want to play with this,” Kris said playfully. He reached down with both hands and gripped the sides of his colossal cock and began to stroke it all the while keeping his eyes intensely locked on Nick’s own. Nick was so overwhelmed with how huge and sexy his titanic boyfriend was that all he could do was nod in awe.

Kris moved around to the foot of the bed and slowly started to climb onto the bed. His cock reached the mattress a few feet before the rest of him did, and by the time Kris had gotten his knees onto the end of the mattress his nearly five feet of cock were name aimed directly at his little lover. His dick was so massive that even just the slit was longer than Nick was tall. It was like staring down a cave instead of a cock – a cave that Nick had half a mind to go spelunking in had it not been for his own massive nuts which were sure to bar his way.

“Like what you see?” Kris asked seductively. Nick nodded in awe, but even had he not made an effort to show his appreciation, his rapidly hardening cock would have done the job for him. He was already flying at well past half mast, and his foot-long cock was quickly reaching rock hard status.

Kris was soon straddling his own cock atop the bed. The bed creaked under the weight of the slim dude and his five feet of fully boned cock and enormous nuts, but showed no signs of giving out any time soon. Kris’s grin grew even wider as he stared down at his tiny boyfriend. Nick looked so adorable down there, that Kris couldn’t help himself. He had to feel the little guy in his hands. He reached forward and scooped his tiny boyfriend up into his hands as if he was holding a hamster or some other small pet. Nick was so tiny that he easily fit in the palm of one of Kris’s hands, but the addition of Nick’s full foot of cock made things a bit more difficult. His nuts spilled over the edge of Kris’s palms, and his huge cock stood straight up at attention. His massive nuts were so heavy that they threatened to send him toppling over the edge, but Kris was quick to work out another solution. Kris slipped one hand underneath Nick’s nuts. Nick’s balls were so big that even to the colossal Kris, they were the size of grapefruits. They were too huge for him to hold in his hand without spilling over the sides of palm, but he was able to at least steady them enough that their weight wasn’t going to send Nick sprawling to the mattress below.

Kris wrapped his lips around the tip of Nick’s cock and began to suckle the head of his lover’s huge dick. It wasn’t long before Kris wasn’t satisfied with just the tip. He began to slide his mouth back and forth along the length of Nick’s dick. With each pass, Kris took more and more of his lover’s cock into his mouth. It wasn’t long before Kris had the entire shaft in his mouth and down his throat. His chin dug against Nick’s huge nuts and his nose poked against his little lover’s body.

Nick could feel his boyfriend’s mouth wrapped around his dick. He could feel the warm wetness of Kris’s tongue against his dick – a tongue that was longer than Nick’s entire body. He could feel his boyfriend’s throat wrapping around his massive cock. The sensation was beyond anything Nick could have believed was possible. It would have been an amazing blow job had his proportions been normal, but having his cock which was several times larger than his whole body serviced in such a fantastic fashion was too amazing for him to fathom. They had barely even begun their fun and already Nick felt like he was close to creaming. Part of him really wanted to just throw caution to the wind and just blow his load right then and there. His massive cock just felt so fantastic and he knew that Kris needed to get going soon, but at the same time, it felt so amazing that he never wanted it to end. It was so fantastic that Nick felt his heart sink when he felt the tip of his cock fully slide out from his lover’s mouth. He was sure for a moment that this was it for their fun for the time being. He’d have to wait until after the holiday rush before they could finish their festivities, but when Nick opened his eyes and saw the devious glint in his lover’s eyes he knew that his fears were unfounded.

“You know… I’ve been thinking,” Kris mused out loud. Nick was about to ask what Kris meant, but he didn’t get the chance. Kris quickly continued his train of thought, and it quickly became clear just what that devious expression of his was about. “It seems our sizes are now reversed… so let’s try flipping the script in other ways,” Kris explained.

Nick didn’t even need to ask. He already knew where this was going, and when Kris flopped forward so that he was lying directly atop his cock with his chin resting on the ridge of his puffed-up cock head, Nick knew he had guessed correctly. Kris maneuvered his little lover so that Nick was once against staring down the maw of the colossal cock. The pre-oozing slit was as massive as it was inviting, and Nick was on a collision course with it.

Nick’s cock slipped into the slit of Kris’s massive dick. It felt amazing. Kris’s cock was so warm and it gripped the length of Nick’s shaft. It wasn’t long before Nick’s dick was buried so deep inside of his boyfriend’s own cock that Nick’s body was pressed against the pre-drooling slit of Kris’s cock. Nick was getting slathered in his boyfriend’s pre. The warm, slick liquid coated every inch of his body and seeped into his mouth. The slightly bitter taste was like ambrosia to him. He needed more. He needed to feel it wash over him and he needed to feel it cascading down his throat, but before he got the chance to drink his fill he felt himself once again being lifted up and out of his lover’s cock.

Nick wiped the pre from his face and looked up questioningly at his titanic lover. Kris’s billboard sized face grinned impishly back at him. “It’s a little loose, don’t you think?” Kris asked. Nick was about to ask what he meant, but Kris once again didn’t give him the chance. Kris opened his free hand to reveal a familiar looking powder on the palm of his hand. Whether he produced the stuff magically or managed to sneak it into his palm via some top tier sleight of hand, Nick wasn’t sure, but what he was sure was what would happen if he came into contact with that glittering dust. There was no way Nick was going to protest to what Kris had in mind, but even had he wanted to, he wouldn’t have been given the chance. Kris quickly blew a puff of air into the palm of his hand which sent the powder billowing into the air and wafting over towards Nick’s tiny body. In a matter of seconds, Nick was coated in the stuff. The powder quickly sunk into his skin and vanished from sight. Nick could feel a familiar warmth and tingling in his cock, and he knew exactly what it meant and was excited to see how huge he would get from this dosage.

Kris wasted no time in resuming the fun. He flopped back down atop his cock and once again aimed his lover’s dick towards the eager hole of his own humongous cock head. It was a tighter fit this time as Nick’s cock slid into his own. It felt so great that Kris couldn’t even stifle his own moan of pleasure as more and more of his lover’s fat cock slid into his own. His dick was soon filled to the brim with his lover’s cock. Kris had never felt something so amazing before. His cock was so stimulated that it felt like he was already cumming, but he was just getting warmed up. There was no way he was going to let him cream so soon. Kris quickly settled into a motion of sliding his lover’s cock deep into his own and then pulling back until only the tip remained imbedded in his own enormous cock and then once again slide his lover’s cock deep within his own.

Kris and Nick were both moaning in ecstasy with each pass. Nick could feel his already massive cock steadily creeping up in size by the second. With each thrust Kris’s cock gripped his own tighter and tighter which just made the sensation all the more intense. Nick had never felt anything so amazing before in his life. It felt so fantastic that he was close to being overloaded with euphoric bliss. It was all he could do to keep from shooting his load straight down his lover’s cock.

Kris was in a similar boat. As his lover’s cock steadily swelled within his own, the need to cream became more and more intense. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. With each pump of his lover’s cock, Kris’s grip became shakier and shakier and his breathing became shallower and shallower. Sweat dripped from his brow. His whole body trembled with the need to cum, but still he fought it for as long as he could. Eventually he lost the battle against his own body. His soft whimpers and moans gave way to a low, load moan. His massive cock bucked and lurched with his little lover along for the ride, and then the dam broke. Cum spurted from his cock and sent Nick flying through the air.

Nick landed with a damp splat against the pillow at the end of the bed. The impact was not enough to hurt but it was enough to break his concentration just enough to let his need to cream get the better of him. As his lover’s massive loads splashed against him, his own cock started spurting cum into the air. Huge ropes of jizz were flying in both direction coating both lovers in each other’s cum in the process. Nick’s tiny body was completely coated in cum in the initial blast, and it wasn’t long before Kris’s face was equally jizz-soaked. Eventually, their torrents of jizz tapered off. Nick collapsed back onto the pillow and Kris flopped onto his own massive cock.

It took a few minutes before either one of them caught their breath and came down from the afterglow enough to speak. In the end, it was Nick who was the first to speak up. “Woah… that was amazing…” He murmured.

“Yeah…” Kris agreed breathlessly.

“And you say I’ll shrink down like this each time I come to visit?” Nick asked.

“Well… at least until you officially become a part of the Kringle family,” Kris said with a wink.

[First Chapter] || [Character Art Gallery]

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#hyper #hyper cock #macro #macrophilia #gay #story tag

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chocobroscrossing · 7 years ago

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Christmas Festivities: Dino Ghiranze

A/N ok so the time now 8:21 am. I am so not a morning person but I typed this on my phone in less than 30mins. I blame my good friend Mao for this! She made me fall for this dork! XD

Anywho, I left the link of the song we have our boy singing.

Tagging: @mandakatt @blossattic @kayterschmater @xalexanderxkozachenkox @misaki-kurenai @crown-city-moogle @sonsoflucis @xalmasyx @afaye1999 @vaporwraithing @major-artery @obsessivelystrange @indigochocobo @insomniacapples

Dino: I’ve got my love to keep me warm

From the kitchen you watched him dance around the fire with his elf socks and ANOTHER cup of eggnog. With the Christmas party done he stayed behind to help you clean. His version of help included eating the rest of the hors d'oeuvres and finishing off the eggnog, which Gladio spiked.

You shook your head as you placed another plate in the dishwasher. A particular tune began to play and you heard a happy resound from your drunk party guest. You hummed the happy tune only to hear a certain journalist turned jeweler sing along. He had a really nice voice surprisingly! You peeped your head out to listen and watch him dance again.

Dino was not as drunk as anyone assumed. He swapped out the swamp nog for some high quality stuff from Insomnia. He always knew he had a crush on you. Since he was given his own little shop thanks to King Noctis he always noticed when you came. His heart would flutter and one of two things would happen. He would talk WAY too much or clam up. It didn’t help you were the most gorgeous girl in all of Eos! Well, to him anyway. As the music continued he could only see you warming his heart this holiday season.

Did your ears deceive you!? Did you hear this man correctly?? As the chorus resounded again you heard him say it again.

‘I’ve got my love to keep me warm!’

This time you listened closer and watched his lips. Just like you suspected! He added your name after my love in the chorus! Is this a non-confession? With the song over and his solo dance piece he grabbed some trash bags. You tried to look busy but you knew! He noticed you as he walked into the kitchen.

“Got anymore trash bags, Doll?”

“Sure, give me one second to get them.”

You went into the pantry and sure enough there were trash bags. You climbed the small ladder to grab them only to be attacked by a lone dust bunny. You yelped as you misstep when coming down. Luckily, Dino was right there to catch you.

“You ok, Doll? If I didn’t know any better I say you were fallin’ for me.”

He gave you his usual dorky smile but you gave him something more than a smile. You leaned in and kissed his lips. He hummed a bit in your shared kiss until you pulled away and stood to your feet. His cheeks were blushed as he was not expecting such a sweet gesture.

“If I get that for catching you then what do I get for burying us out of here when that snow hits again?”

“Well, you’ve got me to keep you warm so does it matter?”

The poor guy choked on his spit. When did she hear that!? You laughed at his expression and dragged him to the couch by his tie. You could have sworn you heard him moan and/or purr as he was being led. Keeping him warm was the only thing on your mind.

#Dino Ghiranze #Christmas Special #Final Fantasy 15 #FFXV #Love this dork

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binghvm · 2 years ago

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pcrfectstorms:

steve’s head shakes at her laughing, as she dug herself into an even deeper dork hole, the idea of her playing dungeons and dragons makes him laugh, he could only imagine how much the boys irked her, but it was sweet though, how she’s just fallen so neatly into their weird little motley crew of hooligans - as much as she protested steve had the feeling she loved those little shitheads as much as he did. “yeah you’re not helping yourself, total nerd – an elf? yeah that checks out, you’re kinda short.” he teases, she wasn’t really that short, but he can’t help but bait her knowing it’ll get a reaction.

“What are you gonna do about it? charge me a late fee?” he quips back, grinning at her smug at how fast he’d been with that one. “uh - i am not a peeping tom! that’s more byers M.O not mine – long story” he laughs brushing it off, “i wasn’t laughing – much.” tongue poking out at her playfully, feeling a little giddy as the high from the weed soaked though him, feeling his whole body relax, which for steve was a rare occurrence, he’d spent the last three years on edge.

“never? – huh, I figured you’d have had some big dorky boyfriend back in Utah.” but her explanation made sense, he remembers dustin telling him how suzie would be dead if her dad found out she had a boyfriend, never mind a boyfriend who wasn’t a mormon. “wait – you were a cheerleader?” laughter bubbling at the idea of eden donning a pair of pom poms at a pep rally, “oh man i’d pay good money to see that –” did she really expect him not to comment on this revelation, “so you like jocks huh?” he’s grinning head shaking as he moves to where she is, feet dipping into the water, giving her a playful little nudge, “i’m just fucking with you – that sucks though, grounded for a month? man, maybe its a good thing my folks are never around.”

she knew she was doomed from the start, and maybe that’s why she didn’t try to beat the DORK allegations that have been thrown against her. whatever. what did she care for anyone’s opinions anyway? and why was she so giving a fuck about what steve harrington of all people though of her? disgusting. “kinda SHORT?” she finally asked with a huff, rolling her eyes and moving to take another hit of her joint. that was enough of THAT for now, lest she turn herself into a stupidly high fool. she very carefully pressed it into the concrete beside her to put it out before placing it back in her small plastic bag and tucking it away in her backpack. with the beer, she was pretty sure that she wasn’t going to need being put under more influences. steve’s was bad enough.

“maybe. i’ve been keeping a personal tally, steve -- you’re up to owing me ten bucks. i put on an extra fifty cents every time you say something absolutely ridiculous.” her eyebrow arched up curiously at the mention of jonathan, but eden knew that a story like that couldn’t possibly be her business. “oh, you so are. i should start changing with my blinds closed now since i know this about you.” she needed to start doing that anyway since the other night when she glanced outside and happened to notice steve changing his shirt. just that image alone made her cheeks burn so bad she thought the blush would never disappear.

eden realized her misstep immediately, groaning as eyes squeezed shut. she never should have said a WORD. “yeah, yeah, yeah -- laugh it up. i was it all. cheerleader, student council, junior prom queen. it was disgusting. you would’ve hated me.” a pause, suddenly she smirked. “nah, you probably would’ve loved it. you seem to have a thing for perfect girls anyway.” she knew nancy, ADMIRED nancy -- the wheeler girl was strong and smart and... perfect. she was trying to ignore the strange nagging voice in the back of her mind, refusing to pay it too much attention as it quietly reminded her that perfect was something she could never be. her attention snapped back into focus at feeling his shove though and she returned it in kind. “fuck oooofffffff,” she finally pleaded, moving and aiming to flick him right in the cheek in a feeble effort to get rid of his merciless teasing.

“grass is always greener on the other side,” eden remarked. she wished her dad was around less, hated he way he was constantly breathing down her neck. their house was STILL full of old photos of her, of the way she used to be with her ponytail and pom poms and wide, toothy smile. she just wasn’t that eden anymore. but she didn’t want to talk about her stupid dad anymore, nor did she want to talk more about steve’s perfect ex girlfriend or the fact that she has never even had anything like it. “well, i’m not going to just sit here and waste this precious pool,” she finally said with a mischievous grin. it was quick for her to stand, shirt already pulled up and over her head before making quick work to toss away her shorts. she might not have been smart enough to grab a bathing suit, but underwear was fine -- RIGHT? besides... there was a sick part of her that loved to embarrass him. and it took all of two seconds for her to jump in the water right next to him with intent to splash him before her head popped up out of the water. “you comin’?”

#pcrfectstorms #PS || STEVE HARRINGTON.#WHAT YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR HAS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME. [DYN. PCRFECTSTORMS]#i wrote a novel and i am So Sorry about it #also sorry that she's a shit

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hopeisxverything · 8 years ago

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Desperate Housewives Season 1 Sentence Meme

Feel free to change pronouns, etc. if you want!

“I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf.”

“I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas.”

“We all have moments of desperation, but if we can face them head on, that’s when we find out how strong we really are.”

“It tastes like it’s burnt and undercooked.”

“I’m very big with the under five set.”

“Ease up you little vampire.”

“Every time I’m around that man, he tries to grab my ass.”

“Apologize now I am begging you."

“You’re the one always acting like she’s running for Mayor of Stepford.”

“Not now, honey, Mommy’s threatening Daddy.”

“Tell me again why I fought for custody of you?”

“I just can’t live in this… detergent commercial anymore.”

“It was the sound of a family secret.”

“I’m not feeling the grass!”

“She’ll find a way to survive. We all do.”

“She may be trash, but she’s still a human being.”

“And silverware. Remember silverware?”

“I don’t even have time to wash my face.”

“It’s like a high five on the lips.”

“People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw soda cans.”

“We are raising little terrors, you know that, don’t you?”

“Don’t worry I’m not packing heat.”

“To live in fear is not to live at all.”

“You better get over there. She’s wearing cotton.”

“They’re six years old, make them.”

“She always overcompensates when she’s stressed.”

“You burned your rival’s house down. If that isn’t desperate, then what is?”

“Thank you, that’s the nicest way you could’ve said that.”

“Get her out of here, she’s killing it for the rest of us.”

“Why do I even let you out of the house?"

“I hate that I’m turning you into a little thief.”

“I got a sunburn the other day washing my car.”

“Keep going. I’m mad at you for about 7000 other things.”

“When can I have my door back?”

“Just know that inside, I am quietly but decidedly hating your guts.”

“They won’t make it to their later years if I have to spend all day with them.”

“If another sacrifice has to be made, I think it’s your turn on the merry-go-round.”

“Mom when this is over we need to talk about your parenting skills.”

“Sometimes evil drives a minivan.”

“Perhaps he should shove your head into a locker.”

“I always assumed I’d have sex for the first time before you had it again.”

“What do you know. It’s eighty degrees outside and you’re wearing fur.”

“Oh my God. I just want to slap and shake you.”

“Slow down you jerk! This is a residential neighborhood!”

“I’m going to have to burn every sheet you’ve touched.”

“You look old in that.”

“You’re never gonna be a sailor, what do you care?"

“If you came in here to judge me, you can just leave.”

“Lassie would’ve had a firetruck here by now!”

“I love my kids so much. I am so sorry they have me as a mother.”

“I am so tired of feeling like a failure.”

“Treachery never goes out of style.”

“When I was your age, my pen pal lived on a farm in Ohio, not a mental institution.”

“Our last version of normal had me popping pills. Normal is a bad, bad plan.”

“He hung out in your womb for a few months back in the 80s!”

“If you were my mom I’d smoke pot too!”

“I guess he does sort of have a dorky charm.”

“It’s a constant battle between the better angels of our nature and our inner demons.”

“Sometimes the only way to ward off the darkness is to shine the light of compassion.”

“Fine, fine, be 3’8” for the rest of your life. See if I care?”

“I’m not a mutual fund!”

“She didn’t like worrying. She felt it gave her wrinkles.”

“Trust is a fragile thing.”

“She’s like a roach.”

“We’re not like other families are we?”

“Why couldn’t he have embezzled like other white collar criminals?”

“Please don’t mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection.”

“You kissed me as though that would end this conversation and it so won’t.”

“My husband won’t admit that he has lust in his heart.”

“It will snow on the hills of hell before I ever

“A more eel would seem safe after you.”

“Well we’re not negotiating my uterus.”

“I hope someday you have lots of children.”

“You’re the man of the house? You can’t even leave it!”

“You know the house isn’t that big, you’re going to have to stop avoiding me.”

“Memories lie.”

“Every once in a while even I want to do the right thing.”

“A lifetime of responsibility isn’t always easy.”

“Sooner or later, we must all become responsible adults.”

“Most mothers will tell you their children are a gift from God. Most mother will also tell you there are some days you wish you could return them.”

“The only reason you have anything in your life is because you’re pretty!”

“That place is so pretentious. I’ve been dying to go.”

“Guys, my hands are tied! Thieves get spanked. That’s just the way it works.”

“Do you know what psychological warfare means? No? Well too bad for you.”

“Let’s just say I’ve put those feelings in a box and I don’t plan on looking at them for awhile.”

“After a few decades whiz by, I’m sure I’ll find a way to forgive him.”

“We’re WASPs. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best.”

“No offense, but you’re getting up there in years you probably forget where you put things.”

“Nobody in my family knows or cares where your stupid clock is.”

“I may be stupid enough to shoot myself, but I’m not stupid enough to walk away from you.”

“He’s a teenage boy! We could take away his penis, he’d still try to have sex.”

“Guys, this isn’t a hockey league could you take it outside?”

“I forgot how fun you are when you’re bitter.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower. Jail’s kinda gross.”

“My daughter is considering giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn’t take it.”

“You know I’ve been broke many times in my life, but I’ve never been poor. Because poor is just a state of mind.”

“Throughout even the most respectable of neighborhoods, you can hear the sound of scandal.”

“Awwww, I miss how we used to steal things from each other.”

“Oh sweetie, they didn’t abandon you because you’re a whore. You weren’t all that nice to begin with.”

“I was on vacation. It made sense at the time.”

“What the hell kind of street do we live on?”

“Good friends offer to help in a crisis. Great friends don’t take no for an answer.”

“Everyone loves a scandal. No matter how big or how small.”

“We all honor heroes for different reasons.”

“You talk to him all you want. I’m gonna check out the place with the electrified fence.”

“That sounds kinda formal for a burrito and a soda.”

“You know I so much wanna like you, but you just won’t let me.”

“You have to hand it to the Catholics, they do Greek better than anyone.”

“Would you like a glass of water and maybe an excuse to talk to me?”

“That’s me. Never afraid to create a scene.”

“I used to have all these questions about how you got to be the way you are. They were all just answered.”

“Today I have a chance to rejoin the human race.”

“I know, baby, it hurts to lose.”

“This is the place where good taste goes to die.”

“And tonight, whatever you do, don’t call me beautiful.”

“Some dreams are just too beautiful to come true.”

“I could explain to you what might happen, but I’m a lady and I don’t use that sort of language.”

“I would love you even if you were a murderer.”

“Could you please at least wait for desert before calling our son a sodomite?”

“Honey, I’m hating you a little bit right now.”

“Half of life is obligations.”

“You just threw rocks in her mother’s face!”

“She sorta thinks you’re evil.”

“You’re basically a predator. I need your advice.”

“You’re such a Republican!”

“I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t have love in your life!”

“You are so far out of your league that you’re playing a completely different sport.”

“I can’t have donuts and juice it’s unnatural.”

“Why did you hit the lawn boy?”

“Maybe after lunch, we could talk about your leather beanbag chair.”

“I’m pregnant, caveman, remember?”

“For the last time, I won’t bring my daughter to stalk my boyfriend.”

“If you don’t want to talk to me, fine! At least have the courtesy to hide!”

“Not everyone gets a happy ending.”

#ᴀʟʟ ʏᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʜᴇʀᴇ [ meme ]#long post #{ SEND ME THESE #also blame kelly for this existing }

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garden-ghoul · 8 years ago

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fellowship of the bloggening, part 5

“I think Frodo is going to get stabbed”

A KNIFE IN THE DARK

ooohohoo I wrote that blurb before I even looked to remember what the chapter title was. Fate. So we rejoin Freder... Frickerick... Fredericton... Fredegar! Mr Fredegar Bolger, who wakes and finds a thin, menacing voice at his door telling him to “Open up, in the name of Mordor!” Sorry that’s really dorky. Anyway Fredegar books it like a mile to the nearest house and lies on the floor wheezing “I don’t have it!” until people figure out someone’s after him and sound the alarm. The Nazgul leave Buckland; “Sauron will sort out the little folk later.” Holy shit.

That same night, Frodo wakes and finds Strider looking curiously alert in the corner of the room. Does he... sleep? Do Dunedain not have to sleep? Or has he trained himself to not sleep because The Enemy is constantly setting traps for him? Anyway they all get up and go check on their room (I guess they are sleeping in Strider’s room) and yep, someone has definitely been there trying to murder them. Also, their ponies are gone, and since as Strider says they can’t count on getting anything to eat between here and Rivendell (??? you’re a ranger dude, can’t you HUNT?) they need to find a horse SOMEWHERE to help them carry. I’m hoping Tom Bombadil’s fairy pony is still lurking somewhere. Waiting. just so you all know I picture it as this awful thing.

‘How much are you prepared to carry on your backs?' [asks Strider]

'As much as we must,' said Pippin with a sinking heart, but trying to show that he was tougher than he looked (or felt).

Aw Pippin. Oh, great, the ponies actually did end up following Fatty Lumpkin home, and Tom Bombadil eventually brought them back to the innkeeper, so all’s well that ends well. Meantime our heroes have to make to with a very expensive and unhappy pony sold to them by Bill Ferny, aka that guy who’s probably a spy of The Enemy. And they set off under the eyes of the entire village, since they’ve made such a spectacle of themselves what with Frodo’s vanishing act, everyone’s horses getting stolen, and the mysterious Strider joining their party. Even Bill Ferny comes to sneer at them; Sam hits him in the face with an apple. That’s our Sam!! He’s so petty, I love him. It’s a waste of a good apple, though, he says.

We veer off the road and take a shortcut through a marsh to throw off pursuers. Strider is very good at knowing where to go! He says some paranoid stuff that makes Sam anxious, blah blah, small chance of ever meeting Gandalf on Weathertop Hill, more sheltered approach, blah blah bird spies.

Pippin declared that Frodo was looking twice the hobbit that he had been.

'Very odd,' said Frodo, tightening his belt, 'considering that there is actually a good deal less of me. I hope the thinning process will not go on indefinitely, or I shall become a wraith.'

'Do not speak of such things!' said Strider quickly, and with surprising earnestness.

He is afraid Frodo will Succumb to the Ring and become a Nazgul... He mentions the history of the old fort on Weathertop (Amon Sul) and Sam recites a fragment of a poem about Gil-galad, translated by Bilbo. Apparently in poems whenever you say ‘Mordor’ you have to then remind everyone that it is ‘where the shadows are.’ When you’re not reciting a poem, though, don’t say Mordor! (Strider urges). I don’t know what he thinks is going to happen. The bird spies weren’t paying attention until they heard the name of Mordor but now, oh boy!

An aside, with all this talk of ancient history. I’m wondering why Tolkien decided that all the ancient ancient history should have happened on another part of the world entirely, now sunk under the sea. I think it would be really neat to have, like, 6000 year old ruins/settlements. That sort of Rome feel where you’re going about your business in the city, or taking a train through the countryside, and you pass something so old it would take an archaeologist to guess what it was. And then you pop into the CVS next door or whatever for a pack of gum. Pipeweed. Whatever.

On top of the hill they find evidence of an enormous fire, and a stone that probably has G3 scratched on it in runes, indicating that Gandalf was here on October third. It kind of ruins my immersion that they have October on Middle Earth... Strider comes to the conclusion that Gandalf was attacked here and left in a great hurry. One assumes that he retaliated with fire, since it’s kind of his thing. We spot some Nazgul on the road and decide to hunker down in a cave on the hillside, since moving would only make us more vulnerable and visible. Sam tries to tell more of the lay of Gil-galad, but Strider tells him it’s not the place or time for it (???) and he should wait til they get to Rivendell (???). And so he tells a bit of the Lay of Leithian instead. Interestingly, he doesn’t sing the Lay, but chants it. I’m not sure if lays are supposed to be sung normally and he just doesn’t think much of his voice. That would be cute characterization. He’s kind of shy.

He talks a little about how Luthien was Elrond’s uhh great great grandmother (or whatever, I didn’t count) and absolutely does not mention that he is also descended from her. Frodo thinks his voice sounds rich and deep and I am inferring he also thinks Strider looks very beautiful is he is telling ancient lore that no-one else knows.

But black riders show up, and though Frodo resists he is Compelled to put on the Ring. He sees the Nazgul in great detail, and manages to take the Ring off, get out his sword, and mumble Varda’s Sindarin name as they lunge, before he faints. Good multitasking, Frodo!

FLIGHT TO THE FORD

We learn that the Nazgul have been somewhat driven off NOT by Frodo attempting to stab the Witch King but by him muttering the name of the light Vala. Now they’re lurking. Oh Frodo has a cursed wound now though; the Nazgul are expecting it to incapacitate him completely soon. BUT Strider knows some medicine, slightly magic medicine, which he explains in endearingly complete detail.

Anyway they put Frodo on the pony (who has recovered from Ferny’s ill treatment somewhat!) and run for it. Frodo is stoic in his pain; everyone else is edgy, tired, and miserable. They make it to the bridge over the Hoarwell River, where Strider was expecting to encounter Nazgul. He finds a beryl (also known as an elf-stone, puzzlingly), and takes it as a sign that it’s safe to cross. Maybe some elves are looking out for them? Frodo asks about the ruins they are riding through (destroyed by Angmarians) and Strider tells that he learned a lot of his lore at Rivendell: “I dwelt there once, and still I return when I may.There my heart is; but it is not my fate to sit in peace, even in the fair house of Elrond.” Aw. You got some kind of a prophecy complex there, Strider? Also, even Strider gets lost sometimes, when taking extra sneaky paths to throw off pursuit. Frodo can hardly move but has to walk anyway; our heroes are off-course and nearly out of food. They’re so off-course that they come upon the trolls Bilbo fought during his adventure--I don’t think this will be very important, but it gives a nice sense of continuity, and a reminder that hobbits can go on adventures and come out all right.

Later that day they meet Glorfindel, lately of Rivendell, on the road; turns out he was the one who chased the Nazgul away from the Hoarwell bridge. Elrond has been sending out riders to look for our party. He gives Frodo his horse, for speedy getaways. Frodo, the darling, tries to say he doesn’t want to get away and leave his friends behind, but Glorfindel points out that he’s the only reason they’re in danger, and if he gets away they’ll be safer. Frodo shuts up. They almost manage to reach the ford at Bruinen before the Nazgul come upon them; Frodo rides hell for leather but some of them are lying in wait!

'The Ring! The Ring!' they cried with deadly voices; and immediately their leader urged his horse forward into the water, followed closely by two others.

'By Elbereth and Lúthien the Fair,' said Frodo with a last effort, lifting up his sword, 'you shall have neither the Ring nor me!'

My boy! So the river surges up and carries off the Nazgul (all nine!) while they’re trying to cross (later we learn Elrond has total command over the river; sick). And I realize Arwen isn’t going to be in this at all. It’s weird that they turned Glorfindel into her for the movies.

HEY NOW IT’S TIME FOR BOOK 2! And the first chapter:

MANY MEETINGS

Frodo wakes in a warm comfy bed, and Gandalf is there to tell him what’s going on. Since we already know, I’m omitting most of that, except this part:

'I am glad,' said Frodo. 'For I have become very fond of Strider. Well, fond is not the right word. I mean he is dear to me; though he is strange, and grim at times. In fact, he reminds me often of you. I didn't know that any of the Big People were like that.’

HAH. He is dear to Frodo. They will learn to understand each other. And then they will tenderly hold hands. Anyway Gandalf gives some more exposition, ho hum. Frodo wakes later SO READY for feasting and stories; Sam comes in.

He ran to Frodo and took his left hand, awkwardly and shyly. He stroked it gently and then he blushed and turned hastily away.

`Hullo, Sam!' said Frodo.

`It's warm!' said Sam. `Meaning your hand, Mr. Frodo. It has felt so cold through the long nights. But glory and trumpets!'

Oh noooo that’s super gay. Sam is such a sweetheart, MOSTLY with Frodo. I get the impression he has had a crush for a very long time. Frodo and Sam find their other hobbit pals; Pippin is filled with sass and sarcasm, as usual, and they are both very glad to see Frodo alive and well. And just in time for the feast, too! We go to the feast, and hear a bunch of physical descriptions of the people sitting at the high table with Frodo (Elrond, Glorfindel, Gandalf, and Arwen). We learn, in a kind of ambient information way, that “Elladan and Elrohir were out upon errantry: for they rode often far afield with the Rangers of the North, forgetting never their mother's torment in the dens of the orcs.” Holy shit what? I don’t remember anything about Celebrian getting, uh, kidnapped and tortured?

Frodo is actually sitting next to Gloin, which is cool! He is described as a dwarf of great importance, princely, with white hair. Frodo is very curious to hear any news he can give, and Gloin is happy to get the chance to infodump to such a polite listener! What brings him here is rather grim, though--three of his friends are missing. He declines to say more; I expect we’ll learn of it during the council. After eating everyone goes to the fire/storytelling hall, where Bilbo is huddled up real small composing a song (apparently Aragorn sometimes helps him compose songs, very cute). After a while Bilbo sings the song they were coming up with (it’s about Earendil) and then gets indignant when the elves can’t tell whose parts are whose. “Sheep look different to other sheep!” they say. Rather insulting, although I’m sure elves never mean to be especially condescending.

And now, because I am very curious and haven’t totally worn myself out for the day, let’s read

THE COUNCIL OF ELROND

There are lots of weird people at the council! Representatives from several elf settlements as well as Gloin and his son Gimli, and Boromir who is simply from “the South.” The first news we hear is of what happened to Balin, Ori, and Oin--they took a party of dwarves and went to try to reclaim Moria, feeling that they were very prosperous where they were in Erebor. AND that messengers from Sauron came, asking for the friendship of the dwarves (offering rings of power), and their help catching a certain thief. They fear war on their eastern border, and that the human king nearby might yield to Sauron’s wishes; so they have come to seek advice, and to warn Bilbo.

Next Elrond tells the history of the Ring... “but since that history is elsewhere recounted, even as Elrond himself set it down in his books of lore, it is not here recalled.” A few things of interest: we used to have Minas Ithil and Minas Anor, yes--Minas Ithil was taken and became Minas Morgul, the tower of sorcery. Minas Anor became Minas Tirith (II), the tower of guard. I don’t think they mentioned that in any of the third-age supplementals. Boromir is sort of indignant at the implication that Gondor’s strength and splendor are waning; he would like everyone to know that Gondor is the chiefest bulwark against Sauron in the south, thank you very much! Also he says that his brother had a prophetic poem dream that said to go find Elrond at Imladris and seek advice. Because it was too dangerous for his brother and he wanted to protect him, Boromir came on his own, a journey of almost four months! Brother mentions in his speech: 3. Bilbo gets defensive on Aragorn’s behalf and recites his own poem (“all that is gold does not glitter...”). It’s like a really low-key rap battle. Aw and Aragorn is down on his appearance again, he says he doesn’t look much like the beautiful statues of Isildur and Elendil. Darling we’ve got to do something about that low self-esteem.

Gandalf then tells of his quest to figure out what ring Bilbo truly had. Secret library science! The most thrilling kind of quest! Aragorn puts in a bit about how he found Gollum and brought him to Mirkwood so Gandalf could question him, and the Mirkwood elves hold him... which leads us to Legolas’ reason for being here--Gollum has escaped!

‘We had not the heart to keep him ever in dungeons under the earth, where he would fall back into his old black thoughts.'

'You were less tender to me,' said Glóin with a flash of his eyes.

They kept bringing him outside to climb trees, so he could get a little exercise, that’s so good of them. BUT he was better at climbing than elves, oops. So while they were waiting for him to come down his guards were attacked by orcs, and when the battle was over he was gone! Meanwhile, Gandalf was sent for by Saruman, via their fellow wizard Radagast the Brown. He goes to Orthanc and is immediately greeted with great rudeness and contempt by Saruman.

'I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours. and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.

' "I liked white better," I said.

Lmao nice Gandalf. Anyway they stick him on top of the tower, and he realizes only now that Isengard is full of wolves and orcs and nasty smoke. Really, dude? Thankfully Radagast is still sending messengers to Orthanc with news; one of them is Gwaihir the current king of eagles, who is able to bear Gandalf away. I love how extra that is, sending the king of eagles as a courier to tell someone the Nine are riding around the Shire. Gwaihir takes Gandalf to Rohan (which apparently pays a yearly tribute of horses to Mordor!), where he finds that “the lies of Saruman are already at work.” The king still tells him to take a horse, though he wants nothing to do with Gandalf; this is how Gandalf gets Shadowfax, a horse with chameleon abilities who is also very fast. Boromir very much doubts that the Rohirrim would buy their lives with horses, but Gandalf and Aragorn sort of condescendingly tell him not to be so sure. It’s interesting how Tolkien is setting up Boromir as this naive guy who thinks his kingdom is the only one helping people and that things are still going well. This in contrast to Gandalf and Aragorn, who find the current situation extremely dire.

I also want to talk about Elrond’s editorial comment on Saruman: “It is perilous to study too deeply the arts of the Enemy, for good or for ill.” Once again, even having knowledge of how Sauron works is corrupting. I’m not sure if this is a thing Sauron does by magic, or if Tolkien is suggesting that knowledge and study are inherently a corrupting force! We can see it parallels the way Sauron traditionally swayed people to his side--through crafting knowledge. But in this case he wasn’t even there to earn Saruman’s trust. Saruman was Too Wise (or really, Too Clever and Not Wise Enough). Tolkien’s bias seems to be toward those who don’t seek knowledge, and rather take action. That’s a little simplified but it’s the best I can do right now, since I’m a little fatigued from spending like 3 hours on this liveblog. We’ll be done soon.

Now we are discussing what is to be done with the Ring; Glorfindel briefly suggests giving it to Tom Bombadil, since his domain is impenetrable and the Ring has no effect on him. But he doesn’t care about it, and he’d just lose it. I love that this is a solution they considered. Elrond eventually decides that they have to either destroy it or send it to Aman--and Valinor will not have a piece of evil that belongs to Middle Earth. Boromir, naturally, wants to use it, but in the end they decide they’ll have to cast it into Mount Doom. Bilbo volunteers (we all know why) and is shot down. Frodo volunteers, and Elrond says to him,

'I think that this task is appointed for you, Frodo; and that if you do not find a way, no one will. This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great.’

I like this image a lot.

#blog of the rings #heads up this is a long one

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