#he’s always been my personally favourite conductor

[127lovegalaxyperson]

I AM STARTING AN WELCOME HOME THEORIES (YAY)

due to my hand cannot draw bc too painful, so I start some theories

well.........since I cannot get into the welcome home page(idk why),I got to the welcome home wiki and check sth

(I like MUSIC AND ARTS,so it might be related to them)

the reason why I do this is because of these

Warning:mostly about the relationship between Eddie and Frank but THIS IS JUST A THEORY OF MINE

IN ARTS

the welcome home character's favourite colours

Wally-red

Sally-orange

FRANK-YELLOW(I cannot find the colour )

Poppy-green

Howdy-teal(I cannot find the colour )

Barney-blue

EDDIE-PURPLE

Julie-pink

(I capitalize Eddie and Frank bc my theories related to them)

I suppose everyone (artists)may be familiar with this

This is a color wheel

if you guys notice Frank's and Eddie's fav colors

they are the opposite side of the wheel

this is called an opposite color (ig,my art teacher taught me but I forgot the name) ,meaning that they aren't meant to be tgt

For example:red is opposite to green and blue is opposite to orange(you can see it on the wheel)

so I have been thinking........Frank and Eddie aren't meant to be tgt but they do love each other (the giveaway is that Clown uses "Esperar pra Ver" by Evinha to describe the relationship between Frank and Eddie and in that time,LGBT was forbidden so they separated them in the workshops ,but Clown sometimes shows their relationship outside of the Welcome home page)

and if you look up the personalities of these two favourite colours:

Yellow was meant a joyful,*kind* and had a funny sense personalities

Purple was meant royalty, full of passion and imagination, great in art(creative),*but the personality is quite sensitive so it's quite hard to know their true personalities.*

the personalities in these colors that they liked were meant to be each other.

Eddie is a helpful, kind person (in yellow)and he is great in arts and crafts(this is in purple which some of them represented his personalities )

Frank always frowns but if someone becomes his frds(like Julie ),He showed them a warm,KIND and quite JOYFUL(in yellow) personalities(and you can say he HAS a funny sense for A PAIR OF SOCKS), just like the description in purple as well(meaning that he is quite sensitive to show his true personalities to anyone but his friends)

They packed up each other's missing personalities (For examples:Frank's sensitive personalities (no offense)matches the purple personalities which was the only thing Eddie didn't have,Eddie's ultimate kindness (I know Frank might have but not as much as eddie)matches the yellow personalities which Frank MIGHT not have that much)THEY ARE LITERALLY LIKE A PUZZLE WHICH IS A PERFECT FOT FOR EACH OTHER

Eddie and Frank cannot not be tgt in the Welcome Home cartoons (just like the opposites of yellow and purple) but they would always love each other as in a relationship(fixed each other's missing colour personalities ) and this might be a unfinished love story due to the cartoons actually showed their love for each other(not that obvious )but we all know that something might happened to Eddie in the next update,just continued to be the opposite sides for each other like yellow and purple.(Frank actually sang a song which is a metaphor of him being alone in the end,meaning that Eddie won't be with him anymore)

In music

I IMMEDIATELY PUT ALL MY LOVE ON THEM ONCE I KNEW THEY COULD PLAY DIFFERENT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS INSTEAD OF JUST RANDOMLY SAY THEY PLAYED PIANO,VIOLIN OR STH.

what the Welcome Home character's played

Wally-mostly none but he will play the drums just for fun

Sally-singer and a concert conductor

Frank-Bassoon

Poppy-vibraphone

Howdy-triangle

Barney-trumpet and trombone

Eddie-violin

Julie-saxophone

these aren't actually a great group of musical instruments when it comes to group tgt as an orchestra (tbh,I would wonder how Sally will do and conduct music with these instruments, I tried but failed) .For an example, in Eddie and Frank,they won't be a great duet between those two instruments (they might but when I tried to find ONLY those two tgt,I only found a few)

At first I didn't pay much attention of these,but I might have watched too much Game Theory during these time which made me think of sth--does this actually meant about their friendship at the end.(Eddie was underrated and ignored,almost being controlled by home if it wasn't for Frank's help while Barney bullies some of the cast in welcome home,Frank began to sent help by sending videos for us to know about what happened in it,Wally is already being controlled and maybe something will happened to Julie due to the next update was related to her) their relationship almost like the instruments they played now-- some of them were not always matched or played well tgt.Their great relationships they had is beginning to corrupted due to Wally was in 'the control of Home'(I thought about that),making me feel like they are not the same as the original ones in their cartoons

'BUT HEY!THAT'S JUST A THEORY! '

-Game Theory

who knows what might happened in welcome home in the future,this is just a theory of me,a person who only watches the homepage by watching others watching it,theorize it.But through the Welcome Home Wiki,I would never actually made these in the first place.By knowing what happened and the fun facts in it,not all of the people will actually ended up searching clues in the wiki lol

[from-izzy]

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon

» ​PAIRING: tbz kevin moon x gn! reader (proofread but lmk if i missed anything!)​ » TROPE/AU​: childhood friends 2 strangers, highschool and slight uni au!, non-idol au!, idol au! (just kevin towards the end) » GENRE​: once again...angst, fluff and comfort from the flashbacks, kevin being an extremely supportive friend, you're also an extremely supportive friend!, platonic 'i love you's being said, you both met at church, choir and ensemble singing!, you both are shy introverts that are only chaotic with each other » WORD COUNT: 4179 (2k word limit who?) » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~15 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of Christianity (not sure if it's a 'warning' but i felt like it should be mentioned!), swearing (b-word), mentions stress relating to: academic (high school), music and performing » PLAYLIST: you never know - HSMTMTS, you better know - red velvet, reflection - christina aguilera, steal the show - lauv, try everything - shakira navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist

my second story for my project! this may be my favourite story ever ❤️‍🩹

ahhhh this got so personal so quickly 🥹 performing has always been for leisure for me, and for the same reasons in this story, i got so burnt out last year. writing this really made me realise how much i miss the stage. going from about 7 performances a year to only about 1 is to put it simply, heartbreaking.

but i learnt that there are opportunities. i learnt that i'm satisfied with just getting my voice out to the world whether it be through choir, the internet or on the streets. i think things will work out; time does help sometimes 🫶

for those who may not know, kevin's representative number is 16 🌙 and the meaning of this number is explained in this video! i did some research and found that it's from 1 Peter 5:6.

to my readers who are followers of God: I pray that you will always be filled with hope and joy as you advance in your daily endeavours. Believe that God has the best plans for you and that He will never leave you behind, especially when you are at your lowest. Confide in Him and love Him as much as He loves you.

“Can I sing this part with Kevin?”

The question is new to everyone who heard it. Did you just ask to do a supposed solo with someone else? No, you were not a greedy performer though you understood why most people would think that. The choir conductor looks to the other side of the ensemble where the group of altos stood. Including the older woman, all the children including the said boy stood there surprised at the request you asked for.

You’ve been singing in the church youth choir since you were ten and you were incredibly gifted. For example, you landed most of the solos and smaller ensemble parts whenever there was a chance. At first, you didn’t want to be in this church because you were shy (incredibly shy) and you never made a lot of friends in school and most definitely, outside of school. Needless to say, your parents were pretty worried but at the very least, they found that when you were asked to go to church events, you were able to talk with people, smile, and laugh but then you would go back into your shell.

Your parents met at this church through singing and performing together as part of the choir and the band. The children were around your age but you found that your interests mainly conflicted with them and it was hard to keep up with their conversations.

So, when a certain Moon family moved into your area and started attending their local church, Kevin, who happens to be a boy who is incredibly gifted in music, joined the choir with that unique, radiant, excited smile on his face. With a simple and friendly “Hello everyone. My name is Kevin, I’m fifteen and am very excited to be here!” Contrasting to his introduction, you found that Kevin was just as introverted as you were and with your courage to finally approach someone, you made your first friend. School life became better as well when you found out that Kevin attended the same school as you.

Going back to the first dialogue though, the duet did happen and the church community knew that you both were the perfect musical partners for each other. Your softer soprano voice complimented Kevin’s deeper alto voice easily. You both found yourself auditioning, performing, and showcasing your team work together in a bunch of school, church, and even the larger community-based musical events. 

Now, after eight years of joining the choir, three after meeting Kevin, you were both in a state of uncertainty, distress, and frustration with the piles of sheet music that scattered everywhere to the point where it was almost covering the surface of your room’s floor. Your hair strands were everywhere and you were sick with the school uniform that you’ve had on since seven in the morning. You both have been secluding yourselves in your room, going back and forth with the arrangement of your final high school piece that you are going to perform with Kevin within less than a week.

The current situation in one word: messy. 

It’s all a mess. About a week ago out of nowhere, your voice decided to have its own mind and leave for about a week. Kevin had a sudden test that his teacher thought would be fun to assign at the last minute. You also had this assignment that you were going to do but you found a mistake in the written arrangement, a note that was about a tone and a half out of your range, and since Kevin was better at rhythm, arrangement, and using the composing software, you could only sit next to his left in the corner of your room as he groaned at how the app was not doing what you both wanted to do.

So yes…it’s a mess, and it’s been around three hours.

“This is impossible.” A few more of your tears manage to trickle down your already red, puffy cheeks, “Okay you know what, I’ll just sing it. It’s fine. It’s not even two tones above what I usually sing in AND I’ve done it befo—”

“Lost your voice and felt lightheaded after.” Kevin cuts off your panicked rambles. No doubt, he’s feeling all the things that you are feeling right now but the only reason why he’s still able to muster up a smile and just ‘inhale, exhale’ through it all is because at the very least, one of you should be able to stay grounded, “We’re not going to put out a performance that we’re not proud of, okay? Especially when this is our last high school performance together.”

“We also said that we wouldn’t do any performances that were out of our capabilities.” At these words, you were both reminded of the promise you made to each other in front of your melted ice creams. It was an ‘oath’ that was made when you both realised you would be standing on the same stage, at the same time more often:

We will finish every performance to the best of our capabilities. We will focus more on quality rather than quantity.

At the new educational path that you were about to embark on, automatically closing this one that you’ve been on for just about six years, you were both starting to get greedy, wanting more than anything now to be on stage. With you both turning eighteen, you both couldn’t sing with the youth choir anymore. Taking music as a subject in high school meant there was a certain prerequisite in terms of how many stages you would have to perform; you and Kevin always exceeded this regardless with solos, duets, or larger ensembles. With graduation, however, the granted opportunity to perform would be taken away from you both and you were getting restless.

You were both greedy, forgetting almost all the other priorities that you had set out, and raked the internet for any chances to perform on stage. For the last two months, both of you have been juggling between your heavy study load, auditioning, composing, arranging, practising, and bowing at the end of it all. To the untrained ear, they could have probably missed the way you were momentarily out of tune or the way that Kevin missed his entry due to his fatigue. The greed consumed you both and most of the stages that you performed were nowhere near satisfactory for any standards that you both set for yourself. After the first performance that you were bashing yourself over, you rationalised that you would need to do another one to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one. That you NEED to go to another stage to make up for the ‘loss’ from the previous one.

That cycle is deadly and it keeps going for a while.

“Kev…I’m tired.” It feels like after a whole three years of back-to-back, almost seemingly non-stop performances in addition to the sudden addition from the past two months, you have finally hit a wall that you never wanted to admit. Kevin didn’t need verbal words to know the reason behind the lack of enthusiasm and the way the lyrics sing are no longer as projected and emotionful as before; because it was the same way to him.

“I know…” Kevin sighs. He finally relieves the downward strain on his neck, pulling it back up to rest against the wall. Offering you both comfort, he wraps his arm around the back of your shoulder, his palm pulling your left forearm to get you closer to him, “I’m sorry, I can’t get this right.”

“No, don’t say that.” You finally give in, plopping your head on his left shoulder in defeat, “I’m sorry. You’re doing your best.”

You let most of the silence fill you both, the hints of the trackpad clicking and the way the note that Kevin clicked would play out of his laptop’s speaker to audibly confirm the note that he just readjusted on the musical lines. Kevin’s left hand is maneuvering on the trackpad while his hand pats on your head that rested on his left shoulder, humming comfortingly while you calm your racing thoughts.

“But hey.” Kevin finally speaks up, “I just wanted to say that I like how busy this is making me.” Nodding to his own words, “It makes me forget the other subjects for a while.”

You exhale, knowing how much Kevin has been having a hard time with the other core subjects but still wakes up every day and chooses to smile courageously, “But this isn’t the right way. To forget other things, I mean.”

“I know, I know.” The boy lets out a little ‘aha’ when he finally finds the rhythm that you both wanted, playing the bar again and again, tapping his index finger on his thigh as he follows the 4/4 count, “But hey, thanks for accepting this performance even with all the final year-end exams. Or else I would REALLY be overthinking that recent chemistry test.”

“Love you, bro.” Reminding him thoughtfully to calm the noise in his head, “I’m always here for you.”

“Love you too, sis.” Playfully, he makes a fist and gently taps your forehead with his knuckles, emitting a laugh from you, “Just take a rest, okay? I’ll just,” Kevin adjusts his slouching posture, straightening his back fully against the wall so that his shoulders are higher and more comfortable for you to lay on, “be on another war with this app. You would expect I know all the tricks after using it for a year but guess not.”

So yes, it was a bit of a mess but on the bright side, you are both extremely proud of that final stage together as high school students. It earned a huge round of applause from the audience and many thankful regards were given by all the teachers in the department of music. It was a bittersweet feeling to see the head of music cry at the realisation that he would never see his two best students attend his class anymore but he made you both promise to visit once in a while.

But the performance being an open event, neither of you realised the opportunities or the types of people that would attend the concert. And so here you both are in an educational setting but with casual clothing unlike the blazer, tie, and the one hundred percent cotton blouses that you were forced to wear.

“Gosh Kev, you’re so funny!” Kevin smiles nervously, biting on his bottom lip as he refuses to look at you at all. You continued to laugh a little bit more, the tears in your eyes and the stitch on your abdomen growing with each breath you took. It’s when Kevin doesn’t laugh along or show any indications of joining in that you raise your eyebrows, some sort of nervousness in your eyes, “Wait, you’re being serious?!”

“It’s crazy, I know!” You just stare at him in shock, your mouth hanging wide open at your best friend next to you, “I think I’ll take the chance and university can wait. People can apply to university anytime but this?” He is finally telling you his worries and thoughts that have been running endlessly after two months of keeping it in, “It’s kind of time crucial.”

"Yes,” You understood his worries, knowing that the life of being a celebrity or an idol is quite limited. It has never been said explicitly but at least for Korean companies, there is a reason why there is always a certain age limitation when auditioning, “I get that but Kevin, are you sure? I get that you've always been into music and you've always been good at it! Trust me, I know! But you've always wanted to be here as well! You never really wanted to be a musical artist."

"That's why life is crazy right?"

You just finished your last class of the day and surprisingly Kevin shows up, waiting for you, looking conflicted and stressed about a subject that you obviously did not know about. His tired smile told you everything, you being able to read him easily like an open book. Kevin realises this, his shoulder slumping in defeat with how you look at him in concern and he feels your hesitation to keep the conversation going.

“Your ‘passive-aggressive tiger parents’ are good with it?”

“Well,” Reminded of the day that Stella convinced their parents to let him go with his path and to support his desires, “I guess so? They let me do everything and introduced me to music so it ain't my fault!" He finally turns to you for the first time after the laughing fit, "You’ll support me right?"

"Of course I will!" You confirm incredulously, both your eyebrows raising and the volume of the sentence rising with each word, “Damn we only met a bit over three years ago but it really does feel like we’ve been friends since birth.”

Kevin shrugs, happy with your genuine response to his uncertainties, “I’m just cool in that way.”

A roll of your eyes is your only response to him, “So, when’s the last time that I’ll see your ‘slay’ful face?”

He grimaces at the way you worded the adjective, “Ew, what is that word?” But then the truth had to be dropped someday; that being right now, “Y-Yeah about that.”

“Kevin Moon.” You frown at the way he just whistles to avoid the subject, an obvious action to buy time, “Kevin.”

"Not too soon! Like…like five days…"

Comedically, the crows on the campus made their signature noise and you took in the information slowly.

"WHAT THE BLEEP DUDE?!"

"OKAY IN MY DEFENCE I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! YOU KNOW HOW INDECISIVE I AM!"

"OKAY BUT YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL ME?!"

"I'M SORRY!"

Smiling at the obvious decrease in the stack of papers that needed to be marked, you decide to stretch your limbs and take a breath of fresh air before your energetic third graders arrive at school. You really left it to the last minute and you can’t wait to finish the last day of the week so that you can chill until another week starts. The weather was strangely gloomy, possibly due to the rainfall and the colder wind. You kind of regretted coming out, especially since the steam from your coffee no longer had that hypnotising white swirl in the air.

But you didn’t leave.

Instead, you even lean over the balcony’s metal railing. Even with the long sleeve covering your elbows, you enjoyed the contrast between your still-healthy body temperature and the icy surface. You weren’t sure why either but you just wanted to bask in the cold air and you can only pray that you weren’t going to get sick. The weather causes your shoulders to tense, bringing them towards the centre of your body to try and conserve some heat. It didn’t work that well but you were still feeling some sort of comfort with the morning weather. 

You didn’t realise the time that passed by faster when you were practically doing nothing. The driveway, parking lots, and walkways eventually fill themselves with the diverse colours of school bags, shoes, and hair accessories. Mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead, you prepared your ‘teacher smile’, trying your best to hide your fatigue from the seemingly long week. 

"Teacher, teacher!" 

You finally lean away from the railing, giving a slight nod to the parent of your most energetic student, and the gesture is returned straight away. Crouching down to match his eye level, you put your palm out to him and he slaps his palm on yours, "Wow. Looks like someone had too much sugar."

"Teacher! Do you know K-Pop?" Your body froze just like the raindrops that didn’t make it to the floor, hanging solid on the rooftop’s overhang, "It's a huge thing right now!"

Oh, if only he knew…

"I can hear your rumbling thoughts like an open book." After his flustered state and a string of apologies that led you to put him in a joking headlock, Kevin grew quiet once again, letting his thoughts fill in the atmosphere between you both, "What's up? And don't lie because you know you suck at it."

The boy attempts to change the subject again, "If it's a book then wouldn't it be read instead of heard?"

"...ok smartass." You stare at him unimpressed with his attempt, "But no seriously, what's up? You know that it's okay not to be okay."

"It's just that…" He ponders, a sad smile on his face as he thinks about his current life situation, "My life is fine as it is right now. It's all great: I'm going to a good university, studying the course I want and I'm looking forward to being a teacher." An eyebrow slowly raised on your side, prompting him to continue, "Why is this happening now? Why is this happening when everything is going fine?" Kevin's facade finally breaks, his eyes pooling with tears with the many unanswered questions, "Why didn't this opportunity come earlier? Maybe when I wasn't in university? I can't even get a refund now…"

"Hey…" Kevin rarely cries in public. For one, you've only seen him cry twice and both times were because he dived in too deep with his plans, making him depressed and lost. You realised once again, with the tears that fell on his jeans that Kevin is not the happy-go-lucky guy who he displays himself to be most of the time. He's human above everything else and even though he always tries to see the best in every situation, it's moments like these that you see your best friend in a different light than the rest of the world, "Money is not all to life, you know? What's the point of stacking up money when you can't even do what you want?"

"But then why would people be so money-crazed then? People work for money…"

"To use it on what they love and need. Some people don't even feel like work is for money." Even though Kevin just stares down at the floor, swinging his legs in the air, you know that he's taking in everything you're saying, "But that's beside the point right now, okay? If making the stage your usual routine will lead you to happiness, then I want you to take it." 

"But…why?" The clause can never be fully answered and Kevin knew that despite his multiple endeavours to rake for answers, "Why me? When everything is going well?"

"Because God has different plans for you." Inhaling the colder air, you told yourself to remember this moment between you and him, "I'm not saying you're pretending to be someone you're not. But the moment that you stop pretending, the moment you accept that something out there is better for you, I think will be the moment when you finally accept yourself."

"Are you positive that it'll come?" His voice decreased, along with the final bits of his self-confidence, "The journey of self-acceptance, I mean."

You both have been talking in hushed whispers, as gentle as the whistling wind. But you decide to finally add confidence into the conversation.

"Hey Kevin." The said boy looks up to you, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand…"

"...that he may lift you in due time." He finishes the biblical passage that he has been fascinated with for the longest time. 

Satisfied, you nod, proud of him, "I can't answer your 'whys', Kevin. To be honest, I don’t think anyone can." You finally voice your opinion, knowing now that your time with him is limited, "But just know that even though you would have strived here in university, one of God's greatest gifts for you is your musicality."

Your words relieve Kevin of his headache, heartache, and the shirt that he has been clamping since the start of the day. You chuckle when Kevin asks for a hug, opening your arms wide to offer him the best comfort that he will forever cherish and be thankful for. Soothingly, you sway your body side to side, humming the melody to the latest (and last) song that you performed together. Kevin joins in with his harmony which has always left people in awe and starstruck.

"Maybe you're just meant to be up there and twerk in front of the camera and not just to our friends." You comment when the song comes to an end.

"Wow, alright." His sniffles didn't cease even when he dragged the final 'w' and 't'.

"You'll be okay, Kevin." The light but secure taps on his back prove your reassuring words, "I know you will." 

"Surely…right?" It's the final question that he would ever ask you about this subject, "As we know, not everything we see on the screen is real. I just feel like I'll lose myself because the idol world wants us to be a certain way."

"No, I don't think you will." You pull Kevin away, pouting at his flushed cheeks and tired face, "I know it's stressful to keep up with society but I hope you know that there will be people that will love and support you. And if you make a mistake? If you lose yourself in shape, way, or form? Then you fight. You fight for your rights and fight for them righteously. You’ll fight because like you always say: learn from relationships. You learn the do's and not do's and still keep the relationship genuine."

“You have that much faith in me?”

“I do.” You tilt your chin high in the air, confidence finally reaching him in the form of a bright smile, "And for those who don’t,” You shake your head, flipping your hair back sassily, “those bitches can walk out the door."

You remember the memory somewhat fondly. To be honest, you found it a bit funny because you lost your best friend over music. You would learn after his departure that you would never find a friend like him ever again. Ironically, it was music that brought you two together—yet it was the same thing that drifted you both apart. 

It took a while for you to bounce back. You grew bitter about doing music especially when Kevin no longer answered any of your messages anymore out of nowhere. When you bumped into Stella while grocery shopping, you found out that it was because of his phone ban as a trainee. You remember going home that day, feeling guilty that you blamed him, not considering his external situation; especially when you knew that Kevin would never cut someone off without an explanation. Yes, it’s been lonely; you did lose your best friend after all. At first, you regretted letting him go, you resented him for not texting you back and you avoided the stage because it reminded you of him.

But God had a different plan for you too. Because when you accidentally clicked on one of the recommended videos on your page, the satisfied smile, the happy tears and the relieved exhale showed your real feelings that you were merely in a phase of confusion. All the hate, all the resentment, all faded as soon as you heard the slightly changed vocal timbre that you unfortunately are no longer used to. You found peace with the person who dances happily underneath the flashing, colourful lights with ten other boys.

“Teacher?” The boy’s innocent head tilt pulls you back to the present time and he seems pleased with the way you nod to his question, “I like K-Pop too! I found this group! They’re called THE BOYZ!”

You were amazed at the stars that the topic put to your student’s eyes and you nodded intently to his excited story. It’s not long after when the mother pushes her child in, sitting him down so that you can get on with your priorities. You straighten your knees, standing back up, pushing your hips out side to side to stretch from the unexpectedly long conversation.

“Damn, Kev…” Your shoulders and chest rise at the deep breath and your hands find their place on your hips,  “And after all these years…you’re still able to make me smile?”

The starting bell rang just in time for your last student to arrive just before you closed the glass door to block out the outside background noise. With the final student ready and set up, you stand in front of the electronic board that displays the first class of the day. Your mind begins to wonder again, particularly about the boy that you once shared a dream with. Routinely, you rhythmically clap to grab everyone’s attention, and surely enough, the conversations between the students die down, and you give back the fond look that your students gave you. 

“Shall we start music class?”

The enthusiastic response answers your wondering thoughts and the question you asked yourself outside the classroom.

“Guess that’s just you, Kevin. That’s just who you are, Kev.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

[clementineskesh]

rambly thoughts on psd 20

i like the way the story is going, i love whatever scary shit is happening on the moon, that crew is delighting me i love what's happening.

on a personal level i think it sucks that keith is sick of phrygian and actively trying to get rid of them bc idk if i like how that impacts the story, but conversely i know exactly how badly it impacts the story to be playing a pc you dont want to be anymore, so i come out sad and kind of feeling shitty but ultimately hopeful it will work out. i hope he gets a new pc. i know its unlikely but it doesnt make sense to me to have leap back and also to be with Blue Channel, under Brnine and Gucci.

Overall the stakes and the fear are working for me. I LOVE the sequence of trying to sneak to the Stellar Combustor, Plight, the heat conductors getting fucked…like just on a story level, these stakes and the way theyre going about it delight me. im excited to see how it works. i know its basically certain that with the soldier move they succeed and phrygian dies, but i think knowing that doesnt detract from the journey of getting there, for me. i get why it would for others, but ive always been more about the journey, which so far rules. Especially in RPGs, in which the narrative and mechanics necessarily feed into each other. Seeing the bones and wires is my favourite part of actual play.

however i do think the gathering information in which keith said he was trying to ditch phrydge and bring back leap is the kind of spoiler that makes things worse for me. but other than my feelings about phrygian, im a big fan of how this is playing out

[ahenvs3000w24]

07: The Most Captivating Composer

Hi all!

We have had a short break in conversation, but I am back today to discuss the role of music in nature and where we can find it. One of my favourite aspects of spending time emersed in the natural world is pausing to hear all the elements surrounding me and my senses. When you become still, the world continues to move around you, and you can appreciate the smallest details. Music serves a social, emotional, cultural, and cognitive purpose that can connect us to each other and to nature regardless of socioeconomic status or other potential barriers (Hookyaas, 2024). The period in which music is produced provides context into the state of the world at that time and provides the listener with context (Beck et al., 2018). Often music is a vessel that indirectly informs us of the world without the need for a lecture or reading (Beck et at., 2018). The compilation of sounds can connect all our senses and encourage us to feel something that has been left unsaid.

So where is music in nature?

Some of the greatest musicians and conductors rely on a diverse set of instruments to convey emotion through their sounds. The orchestra that nature has assembled relies upon various components and species to produce a symphony. The waves that crash upon the beach and exposed rock at impressive speeds are the percussion. They provide a base line for the remaining components to layer themselves upon. The wind provides a soft but noticeable melody with powerful acoustics as it whisks amongst the brush and trees that line the beach front. At dusk, you may hear the rustling of small creatures, scurrying about to return to their burrows providing depth to the ensemble. 

I am most familiar with music in nature and have always been an observant listener, however nature in music is something I am not as familiar with. In an interview that I once watched with Finneas, Billie Ellish’s brother and co-collaborator, he explained his producing technique. He discussed his efforts to be a mindful creator and explained he often sources his beats and sounds from the world around him (Youtube, 2020). An example of this is the funky beat in the song “Bad Guy” which is part of a traffic light in Australia (Youtube, 2020). Creators such as Finneas are innovative and are exceptional interpreters of the world around them. In several Jay-Z songs such as “No Church in the Wild”, animal sounds are used for stylist purposes and make for easily identifiable songs (Jay-Z, 2011). Mainstream radio stations that play these songs are providing a platform for subtle nature interpretations. I intend to delve deeper into true nature songs and listen to how creative some songwriters are.

To wrap up my thoughts today, music makes us feel. Many of us turn to music in times of sorrow or when we need a pick me up while getting ready to play a game. Music can transform any space it enters and create an ambience that cannot be ignored. It is also the purest form of nostalgia. A personal example is the song “Home,” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, 2009). It is my camping trip anthem. Within the first few seconds, I am transported back to hikes under the hot sun, diving into the cold lake, and early morning wakeups. It is a song that represents the outdoors, family, and is ever-present in some of my fondest memories. I have included it if you are unfamiliar and in my slightly biased opinion, I think it is a must add to your summertime playlists! 

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: for a better world: Chapter 10 Arts in interpretation. Sagamore Venture.

Hooykaas, A. (2024). Unit 7: Nature interpretation through music. University of Guelph. https://courselink.uoguelph.ca/d2l/le/content/858004/viewContent/3640018/View

Jay-Z & West, K. (2011). No church in the wild [Song]. On Watch the throne [Album]. Def Jam Records.

Sharpe, E., & the Magnetic Zeros. (2009). Home [Song]. On Up from below [Album]. Vagrant label.

YouTube. (2020, February 4). Finneas reveals everyday sounds hidden in “Bury a friend” and “Bad guy.” YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-zeJRjP6xA 

[chloedoesart]

what got you simping so hard for the conductor in the first place.

This reads like you asking me if I am insane, so let me just clear one thing up before we begin: yes. I am.

cracks knuckles okay anon, you asked for it. You get the whole story. I'm not holding back.

It all started when a dear friend of mine began playing this little indie game called A Hat in Time—you may have heard of it—and posting a lot of content from it in our discord server. One of the characters stood out to me, and I quickly learned upon asking her who he was that this character checked all of my boxes.

And by that I mean boxes for kinning, not simping. That comes later.

Even before I knew of AHiT's existence, I was on my way to working in the film industry. One of my goals in my career is to create a western on par with the classic Sergio Leone films. I grew up riding horses and traveling in the wilderness, so westerns are naturally close to my heart.

On top of that, I have been associated with knives, fire, and my general chaotic nature for many years. Birds of prey have been my favourite animals since I was very young, and I grew up in love with trains of all types (Thomas, ridable miniature railways, the Polar Express, etc.). Someone even told me that they thought I was Scottish before they'd heard my voice.

My point is, Conductor was immediately on my blorbo list. Of course this grumpy Scottish bird movie director with a huge knife and a chaotic alignment was going to be my favourite character! How could he not?? I actually ended up buying AHiT for the DBS chapter just because I was so excited to have a film studio represented in a video game.

Well.

Little did I know I would fall for this guy in a different way barely a month later.

I've always had a big ego—cough cough like someone cough you get my point—so it's no surprise that I'd fall in love with one of my kins, aka someone that's just like me. However, what I wasn't expecting was for it to happen so fast and so much. I rarely simp for characters, and when I do, it usually takes me a while to get to that point.

I remember the very first time I got a lil flustered and had that terrible thought of "oh no, do I simp for this guy?" with Conductor. My friend and I had made a little kinnie AU with our sonas as the Hat characters we kinned, and she at one point drew my Conductor sona (which eventually evolved into my current bird sona) with canon Conductor doing a funny Team Rocket pose, for fun! Right?

Wrong. Because what she'd unintentionally done was drawn Conductor and I holding hands. And when I saw that, I thought about how I want to hold his hand and oh gods wait do I like him???

And it was all downhill from there.

It didn't take me long to accept my fate and start pondering all of the ways I liked his character in a new light. My friend's constant support only sped things along, really. What's funny about me is that I sort of grow attracted to a character's traits and personality first, and only months later find the actual physical attraction. I think that has a name, but I don't really like labeling my orientation or fitting myself into a box.

I hope that very long story helped kind of lay the foundation for what my simping has become today, AKA nearly two and a half years of self-insert nonsense and a nearly 433,800 word roleplay.

Maybe you're still wondering why I like him, to which I must respond, so many reasons. That's a whole separate post worth of material. I love his fearlessness, his passion, his tough yet deeply caring nature. I love his detail-oriented brain and his over-confidence in himself. I love how he tries so hard to win, every year, just to maintain his place on top. He values himself and his creations, and I admire that. I want to nerd out with him about movies and trains while we sharpen our knives and drink whiskey. I love how he's old fashioned, like me. And so much more.

If you're curious as to how I think our relationship would line up, I did do this shipping meme last year that is still fairly accurate and fills in a lot more of the details. Really, it all comes down to two nerdy chaotic people who have large knives and way too much confidence.

[4th-make-quail]

1. 12. 22. and 28 for the fic ask ✩

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? I wrote a fic in first person! And for a very difficult (to me) canon as well. I think it turned out pretty good, and I actually found it a lot easier to write in than I thought I would! I wouldn't write for that canon again because it was VERY difficult to get specific aspects of it right (still anon so can't say what lol)

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? GOD I honestly think it was the same fic from 1 sdlkghfg it wAS SO HARD!!!! I did finish it tho, so fuck yeah!!!!

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene Sorry, this is a long one, but this scene from Sanctified, where Omeluum and Blurg share memories of each other is my favourite!

Omeluum cocked its head, and its eyes seemed warmer somehow, as it sent him an image of - oh! - of himself working, hunched over his wooden desk in the Underdark, cataloguing his samples. Yes, there was the ormu, and that particularly splendid sample of nilhogg’s nose he’d found. Some of the hair had come out of the little knot at the back of his head, and the grey strands fell about his face, framing it. The image was tinged with warmth, almost soft about the edges, and Blurg noticed that the air about him almost seemed to shimmer.

“Is this how you see me?” He cannot help but speak the words into the air, as though it would make the vision - the memory - more real.

-Yes.-

“I-” Blurg buried his face into Omeluum’s palm, flushed to his very ears. -Omeluum!-

-What is this feeling? Did I upset you?- Omeluum’s confusion was evident in his mindvoice, and Blurg looked up, sharply.

-Quite the opposite. Here, let me show you.- He allowed his mind to unfurl, selecting a favourite memory: Omeluum sat down on a wooden crate, watching as Blurg gestured excitedly about a nightlight he’d managed to harvest without dimming its natural light. He’d been expounding about the properties of such a delicate specimen, about how one must use the lightest of touches, and Omeluum had watched him with solemn interest, asking intelligent questions about the nightlight’s life cycle. Once it had all the information it had needed, it had raised one hand and made a gesture beautiful in its simplicity, accented with a delicate claw, and then a perfect ghostly rendition of the nightlight had appeared before them, glowing gently blue in the dimness of the Underdark, and perfect in every aspect.

-You listened to me,- he said, ears and cheeks hot. -And then you replicated the information I gave you perfectly, with beautiful motions like you were, oh I don’t know. An artist of some sort, a sculptor. You captured the essence of the nightlight, and ever since then…- He looked to the side, eyes soft with the memory. -Ever since then, I’ve loved to watch you work your magics. You use your claws like a conductor, Omeluum.- ---

28. How did you recharge between fics? HAHA I actually don't like to do this! I like to finish one fic and then move onto the next one. Usually I'm writing to deadlines for exchanges or events, or having to finish a personal enjoyment fic in time to start the next exchange or event! I think if I need to recharge, I will always read (books though, not other fic), because it refreshes my creativity, but generally I prefer to continue with my daily (or as near to daily as I can manage) writing routine!

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!!! <3333

[yestolerancepro]

Tolerance Project  Extra John Williams  A Fans Tribuite

Introduction

Today the 28th June marks the end of one of my favourite composers film careers to mark the occasion I have decided to release an updated blog that was  first published last year with a load of new material,

At the age of 90 and according to Google the man who composed over 600 pieces of music for film TV and classical works has announced his desire to retire from the film world. His final film he will write music for will be the  5th and final entry in the Indiana Jones Franchise. Indiana Jones And The Dial of Destiny to watch a trailer for the film click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQfMbSe7F2g&list=PL17vqAEJv6CXTpRdOfQdpiOim4ammXiwX&index=11

John Towner Williams (born February 8, 1932 is an American composer, conductor and pianist. In a career that has spanned seven decades, he has composed some of the most popular, recognizable and critically acclaimed film scores in cinematic history. Williams has won 25 Grammy Awards, seven British Academy Film Awards, five Academy Awards and four Golden Globe Awards. With 52 Academy Award nominations, he is the second most-nominated individual, after Walt Disney. His compositions are considered the epitome of film music and he is considered among the greatest composers in the history of cinema.

Click on the above link to read another article on how John Williams retirement marks the end of an era for film music this article comes from the RTE website https://www.rte.ie/brainstorm/2022/1130/1339123-john-williams-composer-retirement-jaws-et-star-wars-indiana-jones-harry-potter-jurassic-park/

Also this article from the french Lemonade website tells us how John Williams composers unforgetable soundtracks https://www.lemonde.fr/en/culture/video/2023/06/25/how-john-williams-composes-unforgettable-soundtracks-from-star-wars-to-harry-potter_6037212_30.html 

Also the AV club lists his top 20 soundtracks of all time  https://www.avclub.com/john-williams-greatest-film-scores-ranked-1850567897

Williams has composed for many critically acclaimed and popular movies, including the Star Wars saga, Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Superman, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, the first two Home Alone films, the Indiana Jones films, the first two Jurassic Park films, Schindler’s List, and the first three Harry Potter films. Williams has also composed numerous classical concertos and other works for orchestral ensembles and solo instruments.

Speaking as a personal fan of John Williams I was first introduced to his work when I bought a double CD version of his music for the first star wars film for my birthday. I loved it but it took me a while to get the other soundtrack in the series. I didn’t get round to buying Empire and Return of the Jedi till the special edition Soundtrack releases in 1997.

I loved those as well and I have since bought all of the Star Wars Soundtracks that John Williams worked on.

Williams like John Barry before him had a magical talent for making the music come alive in my head to create scenes and adventures that I never saw on the cinema screen.

The music become the star of the film itself John Williams did this in many of his great film scores 2 of the best examples being Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind both of these films were directored by Steven Speilberg Both John and Steven explained how they made music the star in both of these films in a recent interview you can see it by clicking on this link https://boingboing.net/2023/03/10/steven-spielberg-and-john-williams-on-how-music-became-an-actor-in-jaws-and-close-encounters.html

His excellent score for the first Indiana Jones film the Raiders of the lost ark also had the same effect on me and because of that its always been a film I have enjoyed re- watching seeing it several times over the years.

Williams music has also helped me to enjoy films that I don’t really like these include his scores for both Superman the movie and E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial being a good example.

His music also opened up the doorways to other worlds like his work on the Harry Potter films I never read the books and wasnt really interested in going to see the movies till I was persuaded to by a good friend and thanks to her I saw Harry Potters first two adventures on the big screen John Williams main theme for Harry Potter was magical no pun intended.

John Williams The Tolerance Project connection

When we decided to make the Tolerance film in 1999 we decided the best way to approach the film would be through the medium of a dramatic comedy this we would do through a series of film spoofs the first one was the most obvious was Star Wars if you talked to any child of my generation who grew up in the 80s Star wars was the big one with its space battles Special effects and that music by John Williams for the Tolerance film we used the blockbuster main theme to tell our story

Jaws is a 1975 American thriller film directed by Steven Spielberg, based on the 1974 novel by Peter Benchley.It stars Roy Scheider as police chief Martin Brody who, with the help of a marine biologist (Richard Dreyfuss) and a professional shark hunter (Robert Shaw), hunts a man-eating great white shark that is attacking beachgoers at a summer resort town.

Jaws was the prototypical summer blockbuster, regarded as a watershed moment in motion picture history, and it won several awards for its music and editing. It was the highest-grossing film until the release of Star Wars in 1977

We used the Famous Jaws theme called Main title/First Victim which runs to just 22 seconds,is used twice in the Tolerance film.

 First when Robert played by David Smith on his way to a job interview norrowly avoids being run over  He is saved by a passer-by, played by Dan McTiernan, who was also our first Assistant Director. When Robert is about to be run over you can hear the Jaws theme for the first time. You hear it again when Robert meets the infamous Mr Grosenberg. To learn more about the making of the original Jaws film click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7jjHLJlDZo&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=275

Thank you John Williams for introducing me to the world of movie magic

Update

John Williams announces he is not retiring after all to read this news story click here:John Williams Cancels Any Retirement Plans - Dark Horizons

 Pictures The Man himself

Posters from the various films his worked on Jaws from 1975

One of the original Star Wars Posters from 1977

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones

Artwork for Harry Potter

Poster for Superman the Movie 1978

ET 1982

John Williams music as it appeared in the Tolerance film

Our Star Wars crawl which tells you about the Tolerance project and what your about to watch

Jaws theme

Robert is saved from being run over by a passer by Jaws theme used again to introduce Mr Grosenberg played by Actor Tony Green

If you have read this blog and want to help Tolerance click on the link below https://gofund.me/5cf25de4

Thank you to Wikipedia for the information on the life of John Williams and the film Jaws

Also thank you the Minty comedic arts Youtube page for the videos on Superman the Movie Home Alone Home Alone II lost in New York Close Encounters of the third kind Indianna Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark And ET The Extra Terrestrial Thank you to the Oliver Harper Youtube channel for his retrospective video reviews of Raiders of the Lost Ark and  Superman The Movie

Bonus content

Documentaries

To learn more about the making of Close Encounters of the third kind click here

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQFCEuJrtmw&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=277

To watch a video called 10 things you didn’t know about Superman the Movie click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDPl1eCIFvo&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=278

To watch a video called 10 amazing facts about Home alone click here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNA1-lgphkk&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=279

To watch a video called 10 amazing facts about Home alone 2 click here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm5FD-ZrsMk&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=280&t=3s

To watch a short film called 10 amazing facts about Raiders of the Lost ark click here

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyb1Gm43Dfc&list=PL17vqAEJv6CXTpRdOfQdpiOim4ammXiwX&index=9&t=18s

To watch a film called 10 things you didn’t know about ET click here

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKwtCb5zWpU&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=258

To watch a retrospective review on Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost Ark from the Oilver Harper YouTube channel click here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngyfP84wZiI

To watch a retrospective review of Superman 1978 the movie from the Oliver Harper YouTube channel click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEtID1kJ_Ho

To watch a retrospective review of Home Alone 1990 from the Oliver Harper Youtube Channel click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iMXXrptBFI

Trailers

Superman The Movie 1978  click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOkb8pxtTfk&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=277&t=45s

ET 1982 Click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZNInG8kSiA&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=278&t=23s

Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the lost ark 1981 click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xQSIdSRlAk&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=279&t=34s

Harry Potter and the PHILOSOPHER'S STONE 2001  click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNgwNXKBEW0&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=280&t=6s

Star Wars 1977 Click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g3_CFmnU7k&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV3Y85xphI3YrPVq3Q5wI_7&index=23&t=11s

Further reading

the Collider film website published a list of his most iconic film scores ranked you can read the list by clicking here there are some on there that I have heard of before now https://collider.com/john-williams-most-iconic-movie-soundtracks-ranked/#39-indiana-jones-and-the-raiders-of-the-lost-arc-39-1981

The Mary Sue film website also published a list of his 12 best film Scores you can read that by clicking herehttps://www.themarysue.com/best-john-williams-scores-ranked/

[requiem626k]

Today’s this lovely man’s birthday, and I wasn’t even aware of it until now. Thank you for providing your light to the classical music world, both with your immaculate conducting and wonderful works.

His interpretations have always been my usual go-to whenever I discovered a new orchestral piece, and they will always be.

Happy birthday, Maestro. 🤍

Leonard Bernstein, 25 August 1918 – 14 October 1990

[leggerefiore]

{Chatting}

First off, love Emin. He is the best and sweetest husband and we all would kill for him.

If you wanted something for him to write moten letters about, you wrote a thing once, I think? Where Emin and the reader were childhood friends, moved in together, and then confessed their mutual feelings.

So Emin could have written love letters he never meant to send during all the years he spent pining, just to get his feelings out do he didn't explode~

~Spark💥

emin induced amnesia. i did write a piece where he had a childhood friend romance lol

Bestest friend,

My mom said that being honest is verrrry important! So, I'm writing this to be truthful! Like Reshiram! I like you! A lot! You're my favourite person! I want to spend aaaaaall my time with you and be your favourite person, too! I want to play fun games like tag and house until we both pass out in my bed! I think I love you! Please write me back or meet me at recess or outside school!

— Emin

~

The ten-year-old reread his letter again and again before sighing. His Klink hovered by him and gave encouraging grinding. He shook his head and hid it in a toy train.

~

My crush,

I have no idea how to tell you this, but I love you. No, wait. That's not right. I do love you, but I also want to tell you why! We've been friends since kindergarten, as you took care of him in a way to help with my horrible shyness. Every time I think of your smile, I just feel warm. Happy. Content. I love you, as I said. You talk with me even when I have a mood of not wanting to speak much. My lonely childhood faded the minute you entered my life. I love you. I want to marry you one day!

No, once again I'm getting ahead of myself. I just want to thank you, especially for being my friend and caring for me. Doing homework and hanging out with you have become extremely important parts of my life. I want you to always been in my future. Being separated from you seems sad. So…

I love you!

— Emin

~

The teenager flushed at his letter and tossed it into the bin beside his desk quickly. His Klang made harsh sounds at his cowardice.

Later.

He'd definitely try again later.

(Klang sneaked the letter out and hid it in a toy train he still held on to.)

~

My beloved,

Where do I begin? You're my closest friend and person whom I rely on more than any other. How often do you scold me to take time off and care for myself? How often do you visit me to give me friendly company? I can't even begin to count. You continue to take care of me and be my friend even after so many years of knowing one another. I truly doubt that I would be the same without you. Your encouragement to pursue my dreams of being both a conductor and pokemon trainer helped immensely in getting me where I am now. There are not enough ways to thank you, truthfully.

Many times in the past I have written letters like this one in order to confess my feelings to you, but all have been tossed away. Once again, I write to tell you that I love you. Your companionship is something I desire much more than I could ever truly admit aloud. I want to make up all your kindness by being the most caring, adoring boyfriend I can be. Of course, that's only if you are alright with that! No pressure. I respect any boundaries you want or need as always.

Though… I wish I could tell you just how verrrry beautiful you are. I adore your smile. I love seeing you pop in at the station and gift me a lunch… Your sweetness has fully entrapped my heart. I doubt I could find another after you…

I love you. Completely.

— Emin

~

The Subway Boss tossed the paper into the bin again as he buried his bright red face into his grey coat sleeves. Foolish! He was verrrry stupid! Love you? He should be content to just simply remain your friend. He swallowed dryly.

Klinklang took the paper again when their master had left the office. Into the train once more.

A train the pokemon presented to you during a visit to Emin's office.

[alstublieft]

Circle of Love - Sobbe

30th July 2021

“Robin, look!” 

“No, there’s no way..”

“Please...pretty please.”

Robbe let out a deep sigh and eyed his boyfriend’s large green eyes and adorable pouty lips, he couldn’t say no when Sander looked at him like that - it was near impossible. 

The couple had decided to spend their Friday afternoon at a Funfair that was set up in their local park, to celebrate their 20 month anniversary which was technically yesterday, but they were both too busy to really celebrate. Walking around each attraction their hands clasped tight, they laughed in sync, bodies buzzing with alcohol in their veins. 

Striped red and yellow tents were dotted around the park, each one containing a different amusement, the park was filled to the brim with friends and family, the sun shone bright and it really was the perfect day.

Sander had fed Robbe pink clouds of candy floss and with each bite he’d watch his lover lick the sugary confection from the sides of his mouth, missing a crystal or two.

Later on, Robbe had spent more money than he’d like to admit on ‘Hook a Duck’ but eventually won a plush shark toy which he gifted to his Bowie-loving boyfriend, earning him a sweet kiss to his cheek. Robbe watched lovingly as Sander immediately took the toy, hugging it close to his chest. 

But now, as Robbe looked up at the Ferris Wheel that Sander so eagerly pointed out, it’s circumference alone sent shivers down his spine. It had bright neon lights that glowed at the entrance and the seats looked way too unstable to sit on. Nevertheless, one look at Sander’s pleading eyes and he was a goner.

“Okay, let’s go then.” Robbe gives in, trying to hide his nerves with a dimpled smile. 

Sander let out a high-pitched squeal and dragged the smaller boy to the queue, he babbled on and on about how he’d love sitting right at the top watching the rest of the world below and how he loved how the air’s density decreased the higher the ride took him and how he felt ‘on top of the world.’ Robbe loved listening to Sander, he would often rewatch the lockdown walk videos he had sent him when they were unable to see each other, getting lost in his deep voice; it was like a lullaby. 

Finally they paid for their tickets and stepped onto the metal platform and made their way to their seats, Robbe’s nerves increasing as the seat rocked slightly, he reached out and gripped Sander’s light denim jacket, fingers curling into the material like a lifeline. 

Sander, who had stepped on with ease, chuckles and helps Robbe to his seat, a steady arm wrapped around his waist.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re fine Robbe.” Sander reassures, his warm breath hitting the side of Robbe’s face and travelling down the length of his neck.

“Dank je” Robbe whispers, as they sit side by side in their cosy carriage. Robbe’s eyes wandered along the ride, ensuring each screw was tight and the bar to hold them in went all the way down and locked into place. 

On the other hand, Sander was bouncing with excitement as a worker came and checked they were buckled in securely, wishing the conductor would pull the lever and start the ride.

As if his mind had been read, the carriage swings back squeaking, evoking an endearing yelp from Robbe who has somehow gotten closer to Sander in their tiny seating area. 

“Sander, oh my god, oh my god, we’re moving!” Robbe shrieks.

“I know! Isn’t this sick?” Sander places his large hand on Robbe’s thigh, squeezing from sheer joy, his toothy grin could be seen from miles away.

Slowly they drift through the air, catching sight of their friends below who waved and cheered in excitement. Robbe looks up at Sander, analysing his facial expressions, the way his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, the mole on the side of his face which Robbe would always kiss twice because ‘it’s extra special’ a thin layer of sweat shone from the tops of his cheeks, glowing like embers of gold; truly magnificent. 

He loves him. He loves him wholeheartedly. Robbe would gladly step onto a million ferris wheels if it meant seeing Sander like this, so carefree, so joyous, so alive. 

Sander turns to face Robbe, catching his stare, a radiant smile makes its way to his face, brighter than the stars. They had glided higher, still not at the highest point, but significantly higher, butterflies erupting in their bellies and Robbe had to stop himself from looking down.

“Baby, look out there, you can see the mural.” Sander points with his arm, his voice getting caught in his throat, emotion getting the better of him.

“I still can’t believe you did that.” Robbe says in awe, squinting a bit, seeing himself across the park on a big wall in intense colours. Sander’s declaration of love really was for all to see.

“Why? You’re so beautiful, everyone had to know.” 

Robbe moves his eyes away from the mural to look at Sander, his chest filled with warmth, he reaches down and takes Sander's hand on his lap, slotting his fingers between the gaps - a perfect fit. 

Their eyes don’t leave one another’s, green melting into brown, brown melting into green. It’s as if the rest of the world went on mute, and it’s just them two alone, on a ferris wheel, sharing the same love. 

They don’t need words to communicate, they have longing looks, and the softest of touch; their souls are so intertwined, it would be paradoxical to try and tell them apart. 

In the midst of their love-struck haze, their carriage had reached the very top of the wheel, halting to a stop, lightly swinging back and forth, the sudden momentum breaking their adoration. 

“Happy 20 Month Anniversary, My Love.” Sander says, voice like melted honey, words ooze out of his mouth effortlessly, drawing Robbe in completely.

Robbe fixes his eyes on Sander’s mouth, the sides curling up into a grin, pearly teeth just peeking through. “Happy 20 Month Anniversary, My King.” 

Sander uses his free hand to cup behind Robbe’s neck, fingers tangling in his auburn curls, bringing his love in for a heated kiss, head tilting, breathing out through his nose. Robbe kisses back with just as much passion, wrapping his lone arm round to hold onto Sander’s shoulder. 

He's starting to understand why Sander loves being so high up, the atmosphere up here instantly eliminates the noise around them. A dingy carriage, on a rusty ferris wheel, at a funfair in the late afternoon. A haven for two.

**************************************************************************************************

This is dedicated to my favourite person @debussyatmidnight

Millie, my light, my love, where would I be without you? I love you so much and wish you the happiest birthday...<3 

I know this is nowhere as good as the gifset you made me, but i promise, as soon as i learn how to create gifs - i’ll make you as many as you want xxx

love, aamana

[turnaroundroundround]

Opera References in Musical Yuukoku no Moriarty Op. 2

Some thoughts of mine after re-watching Morimyu Op. 2, regarding Irene's arc A Scandal in British Empire, about all the opera references and some random thoughts that come to mind during this arc. Obviously there's a lot more to Morimyu Op. 2, for instance The Two M's and Mycroft's solo (which I often refer to as "the Mycroft Anthem" lol), the entire Baskerville arc, and the train arc, and so on. And there's a whole lot of other things I'd like to discuss about them as well, but maybe just save it for another time. I don't know if anyone has discussed these references before, and I am not entirely a pro in music either. All I have is some basic knowledge on opera and harmony, so these are just some personal impression that came to mind when I watched this arc, so please keep it in mind.

A SCANDAL IN BRITISH EMPIRE

Okay, so the biggest motivation for this post is, obviously, the music throughout the entire Scandal arc. It is heavily influenced by opera, partly because Irene herself is an opera singer, partly also because the masquerade ball itself is also a perfect stage for an opera to be shown. And the opera was not simply brought in to make the music sound good, but also utilising the plot of the opera itself to create more depth and color to the musical. About Opera during the 19th Century Some side notes. Opera has originated and developed from various different kinds of stage ever since the Greek and Romans. I'm not going into details but anyway, by the 19th Century, it's still somewhat of a luxury that is mostly meant for nobles and people with high status. There are millions of stories about nobles coming to the theatre only to enjoy the music and not the play itself, or not really watching anything but waiting to see their favourite opera singer. Like when the other things in the play are going on, they stay in there box or hang out with other nobles, playing cards and all, and when their favourite singer makes her debut, they come to the front of the box and watch her. Then they return to their games when she exits. All the luxuries. Opera is really something that is meant for nobles and those with nothing but time and money on their hand back then. And another thing is (with an image that I quickly searched on Google just now lol) back them before any stages there is always a pit for the orchestra to be in. They are just below the stage so that the music can still reach the audience as equally, but also low enough that they aren't in the way of the audience's view.

By the way, the role of the conductor and stage director back then was somewhat a blur (if I remember it correctly), as the music writer would very often himself direct the entire stage and become the conductor on the performance day. In case something goes wrong, such as actors need more time to adlib, then he knows how to direct the orchestra to play accordingly. It's quite a small detail, but in Op. 3 Liam also refers to himself (yes this is still about Yuumori lol) as the maestro, somewhat very similar to the role of the conductor himself. This reference, as we can see, shows Liam's role behind the scene conducting all the plots and instructions. It's quite a small detail I think, but also quite interesting

By the way, the leading singer, or Prima Donna (as they call Irene), are always sopranos. And the same goes for Irene Adler, all of her songs were written to highlight her soprano voice, like in 大作戦ーDaisakusen or her song with Ms. Hudson

An example from a song that I was reminded of when listening to Cecile!Irene. Of course there are many other songs we can talk about, this is just one of the examples.

Obviously, Irene's song aren't entirely like classical opera songs. They were all arranged to both highlight the opera feature, but also to suit the form of the musical and all the while showing Irene's elegant and gracious manners of a prima donna, and also showing her playful side especially during her duet with Sherlock.

YAMI NO OPERA - DON GIOVANNI BEHIND THE CURTAIN

To understand Don Giovanni references, it's essential to understand the story behind the original opera by Mozart. That being said, the actual plot of the story is quite long and contains so many details it's almost impossible to fit all of them into one post while also comparing them with the one in Morimyu, so this is a link to a more detailed synopsis of the opera. Or you can also read more on wiki. I'll just give some basic details that are referenced and discussed in this post. Overall impression: This opera revolves around a playboy that flirts with women, but lacking in loyalty and commitment to keep any of his promises to them. By the end of the play, after all the sin he has committed, Don Giovanni is engulfed in hell's fire, and punished for his sin. It is very much similar to the story in Morimyu, nobles relying on their wealth and status and have the freedom to do anything as they want, without having to worry about having to bear the consequence. Because of the difference in power and status, it is almost impossible to punish all of them, therefore having a need of a "demon" to punish them with powers that no human have - the role of Moriarty gang within the play.

In this arc, Liam is "directing" a play that is inspired by Don Giovanni. His audience is Irene Adler (and of course us who is watching the entire thing), and the main character is Lorinson who ends up being punished for his crime. Mozart's Don Giovanni is being performed on stage, but at the same time Liam's "Don Giovanni" happens, in the back stage. What we are watching as the main stage is actually the "back stage" of the real story.

In the original play, Don Giovanni was a playboy that flirts with many women. At the beginning of the play, he flirts with a woman called Donna Anna, and her father tried to defend his daughter. They got involved in a duel and Don Giovanni killed the man. Donna Anna mourns and wish to avenger her father.

In Morimyu, the story of Lord Lorinson (pardon me for not knowing both the translation of his title and his name) is added in spite of the original plot in the manga. As far as my Japanese comprehension goes, the story is that Lord Lorinson is also one that uses his status to abduct other women to his pleasure, and ends up treating them poorly.

At one point, a woman came to the Lord of Crime, saying that her daughter has been murdered by the noble and mourns her. She wishes for revenge, and Liam proceed to do so.

Don Giovanni - Act I Finale

During Moran and Louis' fight with Raymond(?), in the section behind the stage we can see the opera theatre with the Finale song going on. The ensemble is still singing as the fight goes on behind them.

In the Finale of Act 1 here, the section that was insert into Morimyu was rather short, and was meant for a dramatic effect than actually showing what's happening in the original opera anyway. But anyway, we can see that as the fight proceeds, the curtain behind also slowly closes, ending the first Act of the opera.

It's clearer here. We can see that as they are fighting there is an entire opera going on at the back. The fact that the ensemble has their back to the audience emphasises how everything we're seeing are all in the backstage, but at the same time it proceeds alongside with all the events in the "mainstage". It's quite a powerful image.

At one point in the opera, Don Giovanni attends a party where he met one of his previous lovers that he betrayed. Then there's some talking and such and more betrayal, and somehow he then decides that he would also flirt with his ex's maid.

There isn't much that I have to say with this reference in the play, only that it is actually Fred disguising as a maid for the purpose of carrying out the plan and scared the sh*t out of Lorinson lol

I couldn't catch all the details from their conversation, but apparently Fred did some kind of stand-in again as the victim who was murdered by Lorinson, also to provoke him and lead him into Liam's trap?

At the end of the opera, Don Giovanni was cornered by the 'devil', drowning him in the flames of hell. However before that happens, the women that Don Giovanni once flirted with (as well as Donna Anna whose father was murdered by Don Giovanni) gathered, chasing after Leporello - Don Giovanni's servant - who exposed him of his guilts and sins.

The song that the women sung in this scene is "Ah, dov'e il perfido?", and there is a very small section at the end of the song that was kind of re-arranged and added to Morimyu. In Morimyu, this is the scene when Lorinson is exposed of what he is done, after that being "punished" by the devil. There is also a scene in the play when Liam mentions 地獄の炎 - Jigoku no Hono (The Flames of Hell) which is a direct reference from the original Don Giovanni. In fact, what he has been telling Lorinson is the story of Don Giovanni and how he ends up being punished - only that when Lorinson realised that, it's already too late.

(A reference from the song in the original play, the section that is used in Morimyu is actually quite short, only starting from around 5:40 within the song in this video)

In Yami no Opera, the song is arranged with Liam's part of the melody above the entire harmony. So it is indeed a proper opera that "Liam" has based on re-arranged to carry out his plan.

While Don Giovanni is happening on stage, there is also another "Don Giovanni" being punished by the devil - Lorinson. We hear part of the original song from the ensemble in the background, and also Liam's version of the punishment along with Lorinson's struggle. And at the same time the ensemble does seem to be focusing on "Don Giovanni" - all of them looking towards Liam's and Lorinson's position. A really impressive scene.

And after that very short section, the play goes on, returning their focus back to Irene Adler and Albert's conversation. There is no "Flames of Hell" erupting in any ways except for Liam's really strong section of the Yami no Opera song. And there's no need for it, I think, as Lorinson has never been the real protagonist like Don Giovanni. Liam only made him a temporary "protagonist" and not solely for the purpose of exposing him, but only as a mean to show Irene the true identity of the Lord of Crime. So there is no point making it more dramatic than it already is.

So...

That's pretty much all that I have to say about Don Giovanni and opera's reference, I think?

Well another thing, maybe, is how much I love the instrumental arrangement for violin and piano in Morimyu. They don't have the privilege of having an entire orchestra, but instead they did as much as they could for the instruments so that they recreate the original opera vibe as well as they possibly can. And the result is, just, extraordinary.

Anyhow, I've heard many of my friends comparing the songs from Op. 2 and Op. 3, seeing that Op. 3 has more of a "flow" in between the songs as all of them were written with harmony such that they have a certain connection to each other.

Not that Op. 2 doesn't do the same thing. However the second Opus does feel more separated, I think, since the music in the 3 different arcs are much more different. For instance the Baskerville arc has a "hunting" vibe to it, describing Moriarty gang's plan to bring down the nobles' game of hurting children, while the final Scandal arc revolves around an opera singer and mostly happens within a masquerade ball. So there is a big difference between the scenes, and obviously a big difference in the music brought to them as well.

Aaaand, that's pretty much all the details I've picked up (and remembered lol) up to this point.

Anyway, I've been watching and re-watching all 3 Opus of Morimyu many times, each time firguring out something else that I haven't noticed before. So if I end up realising some other details within this arc, maybe I'll come back and add to this post.

Thank you for reading ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

Also, thank you @rikaaki for these beautiful gifs(☆▽☆)

[crazybutgood]

International Tea Day!

(Drarry tea blend by Ela Spearlot)

International Tea Day is celebrated on 15th Dec in many tea-producing countries since 2005. Apparently, the UN changed the date to 21 May this year and I didn’t know until recently :( Oh well, I’m still going to celebrate it today, and I thought I’d use this opportunity to do something using two of my absolute favourite things: tea and Drarry. Here are some lovely fics involving tea that will warm you up like a good, steaming cuppa <3 (special thanks to @curlyy-hair-dont-care for her great feedback and for helping me put this together, and to @sitp-recs for your helpful tips and kind words)

Bite-sized:

Tea at three by @dorthyanndrarry​ (T, ~8.9k)

Draco Malfoy is the head potion brewer for the Ministry's onsite supply. Every day at three he goes to the nearest break room which coincidentally happens to be the auror break room, where he always seems to run into Harry Potter, who might also be waiting just for him. It's most certainly not the highlight of his day and he certainly doesn't hold anything other than friendly feelings towards Potter. It's just tea. Nothing more than tea at three.

A sweet fic where these two dorks finally get together with some help from their friends. Warnings for blood and injury in one scene.

A special blend of you and me by germankitty (T, 4.5k)

Draco finds a bunch of letters in Professor Snape's effects that were written by Lily Evans to her best friend at school, Marlene McKinnon. He passes them on to Harry, who consequently starts his own correspondence with Draco. (inspired by Tea and Lost Letters: Lily to Marlene by Kikimay)

A charming epistolary fic, featuring a great selection of teas, snarky and amusing letters that become progressively less formal and more intimate, and a delightful surprise by Draco at the end.

Portkey for Tea by @lettersbyelise (T, ~1.8k)

Draco is doing a two months residency at a Wizarding hospital in San Diego. Harry misses him too much to wait for him to come back to England.

How far would you travel for a special someone a cup of tea? Lovely established relationship fic with the two missing each other and Harry doing something about it.

Red Roses and Rousing Rumours by @dracogotgame (T, ~1.4k)

Draco's taste for rose water tea puts him in hot water.

A super cute one-shot where a misunderstanding on Harry’s part leads to Draco snagging a date with him (after being asked out in the sweetest way!)

Prompts: I love you - Over a Cup of Tea by @cibeewastaken (G, 362)

(this was my ask lol) Short one-shot of soft moments and tea flowers.

Prompts: I love you - On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair by @cibeewastaken (G, 745)

Another lovely one-shot with sun tea and little Teddy trying to cheer Draco up. Featuring Teddy’s sweet innocence, shy boys in love and a confession that will warm your heart.

Why Is Our Teapot Wearing a Hat? by @ladderofyears (G, microfic, 50)

Adorable microfic based on the prompt ‘cosy’.

Rotten work by @prolix- (T, 792)

You start to cry after the war.

You tell Ron and Hermione that it's nothing, that it'll pass. You're just exhausted. It’s more than that, of course it is, but they don't question it. And you learn to hide the fact that you can still be found hunched over your kitchen sink after a party, fat tears rolling down your face, years after the war has passed.

He knows better.

Heart-achingly beautiful fic with lovely tea metaphors. Featuring sad yet tender moments between the boys, healing and hope. Warnings for implied/referenced PTSD, angst, crying and hurt/comfort)

Curl up with a cuppa to enjoy these longer fics:

Where There is Tea by @bafflinghaze (T, ~12.6k)

Somewhere in London, overlooking a garden, sits a little tea room. There, Harry finds tea, distraction, books, conversation, inspiration, himself, and Draco Malfoy.

Featuring Tea Master!Draco and Writer!Harry, this is a heartwarming story of supportive friends, coming out, self-discovery and a lovely buildup of friendship between Harry and Draco that blossoms into something more. Lots of amazing and familiar teas to look out for that you wish you were tasting along with the patrons at Draco’s tea shop.

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_hoop (E, ~70k)

It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always. At first, though, the time loop seems liberating. For the first time in his life, he can do anything, say anything, be anything, without consequence. But the more Draco repeats the day, the more he realises the uncomfortable truth: he's falling head over heels for the speccy git. And suddenly, the time loop feels like a trap. For how can he ever get Harry to love him back when time is, quite literally, against him?

Draco’s stuck in a time loop until he figures out what he has to do to get out of it — learning, growing and becoming a better person with much help from his mother, Hagrid, and Harry, and conversations over tea.

Headlights in the Snow by Saras_Girl (M, ~71.6k)

What’s big and purple and smells like tea? Harry is about to find out. 

Advent fic 2016.

Harry has bizarre adventures with Knight Bus conductor Draco and the lovely passengers. A cosy Christmas advent getting-together fic featuring fun bus rides and on-board tea.

Special mention of fics that I associate with tea also kind of in order to remember them:

For the greater good by @jadepresley (E, ~62k)

When Harry and Draco discover they’ve been bonded to one another, neither one of them is prepared for the secrets they slowly begin to uncover.

Together, they learn that they can’t escape their past, or the things that have been left hidden there, and that sometimes the only way to move forward is to look back.

An accidental bonding fic that I absolutely adore

Malfoy rolls his eyes. “I’m not a monster, Potter, you arsehole. Though I do think you’re delusional if you think the whole wizarding world doesn’t love you.”

Harry shakes his head. “No. They love the idea of me. They love the stories. But they don’t… they don’t know how I take my tea in the morning, do they?”

“Excuse me?”

Harry flushes. He hadn’t meant to say that. Bloody Firewhisky. “It’s just this thing I believe. And Emmet — my ex — never knew. It’s… nevermind, you’ll think it's stupid.”

“That’s definitely possible,” Malfoy agrees seriously. “But you should tell me anyway.”

“You’re a prat, you know,” Harry tells him. Malfoy just smirks, making Harry sigh. “Fine,” he concedes. “It’s just... The way you take your tea is one of those small details about yourself that no one else would really know unless they asked. But... someone who really gives a shit about you would know — they’d ask or they’d notice — because they’d care enough to want to know. And Emmet... well, he just never cared enough about me to learn how I take my tea.”

I love that this fic uses this idea, partly also because this is something I’ve thought of too, not just for romantic relationships but relationships in general, and I was so happy to see it used in this fic.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by @firethesound (E, ~149.5k)

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Discovering this fic was one of the best things ever. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Harry and Draco eventually go from polite coworkers, to tentative friends, to lovers — of course with a lot of drama and angst in between. These two bicker about so many things. One of them is how Harry never makes the tea hot enough, and it’s used throughout the fic in many important and special moments of their relationship.

Happy reading!

[lenskij]

The costumes in the apple Onegin

Mariinsky-2, June 2015, costume designer: Irina Cherednikova

What I love about this recording, in addition to the fantastic voices, is the stage design. It’s tastefully sparse, with a dramatic dark backdrop, which sets the characters into focus. Since the first time I watched it, I was impressed by the costumes, so I though to write a little something about them.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about costuming! In fact, literally everything I know about clothes and fashion comes from Karolina Żebrowska’s videos. In all fairness though, what matters is what I feel when I see the costumes, and ether way, a regular opera-goer doesn’t have a historical database to reference in order to understand the “accurate” story told by the costume designer. Therefore, this will be an entirely personal observation, told with love for the opera and absolutely no research. The pictures in this post are screencaps from the recording, and they don’t necessarily show the costumes that well - but instead of apologizing for the low quality, I’ll urge you to go watch the entire thing :)

And so, without further ado, a little and non-comprehensive ramble about the costumes in this Onegin:

Act 1

The design tells us what the text doesn’t. What we need to know about the Larin family is that they’re living in the countryside: it’s an idyllic, simple and domestic life, far from the glamour and excitement of the big city. They’re in harmony. The peasants we see in the background are dressed in a mix of styles heavily inspired by Russian folk clothing. 

Here’s a shot of the Larin girls’ dresses - simple, for the country life. In the background, you can see their neighbor Lensky’s sharp riding costume.

Here’s a better look. Note the stripes, they show that Lensky is in love. Look out for when you see a striped scarf again...

[The apples! They are telling us a story! But we’re not talking about the apples now...]

At first glance we see Onegin is a dandy from St Petersburg. Sharply dressed, hat and gloves, buttoned up - unlike his friend Lensky, who’s already opened his heart to the Larins and has his coat unbuttoned. Under this first visit, Onegin doesn’t unbutton his coat, and he carries his riding rod with him - closed off, in control. Meanwhile, Tatiana is shaken...

During the letter scene, Tatiana wears her white nightdress, which we’re used to see in almost all productions. I have nothing new to say about this scene’s costume, but the rejection scene....!

Look at Tatiana! She’s dressed up - her dress is much more fancy, and although you can’t see it here, she’s also changed into nicer shoes than the boots she wore until now.

And. Look. At. The. Scarf! She’s wearing it, but when Onegin starts speaking, she takes it off and fiddles with it. It’s her heart she wears on her sleeves, and holds in her hands - but Onegin doesn’t reciprocate.

Onegin wasn’t rattled at all by this all. He’s wearing the same outfit as before, but he did unbutton his coat. He opened up by his own confession, yet he remained sharp and collected.

Act 2

I love the design for Tatiana’s party! The Larin home looks so, well, homely, and I love the rural feel of the partygoers’ dresses - they’ve dressed up their best, but haven’t upgraded the clothes according to the latest fashions. The nuggets of fashion history I know give me the feeling that Tatiana and Olga have new dresses for the party - they seem the most modern - while everyone else have a mix of older fashions. The servants were dressed in simple but nice clothes, and my favourite detail was the sofa where everyone’s coats are piled up - they don��t have any proper wardrobe, it all goes on the Chair!

I love how Triquet looks like he’s been tucked away in an attic somewhere since the 1700s, only being taken out for parties once a year. 

The most important - and my favourite - clothing choice of this party is how Onegin’s dressed:

Here he is greeting Larina - dressed in a black tail coat. You immediately notice he’s overdressed for the party - certainly very suitable for a ball in St Petersburg, but no-one else has a black tail coat in the village! I adore how it immediately marks him as the outsider. Everyone in chorus noticed him too, and started gossiping about this dandy.

Painnnn..... Another important detail: Lensky is wearing the same clothes he wore the night before - he’s been up all night, sleepless. Meanwhile, Onegin has been at home, getting a change of clothes, presumably a little sleep as well.

Act 3

After his years of travel, Onegin is back in St Petersburg. He’s yet again in a tail coat, but I notice it’s a slightly different cut: he’s upgraded to the latest fashions. This ball he’s ended up on is completely different from Tatiana’s party: here, it’s high society. There are many officers in uniform, and those uniforms are so decorated, his black-and-white formal wear seems almost underdressed. The ladies don’t have uniforms, but they are uniform: the dresses are of a similar cut, and it appears blue is the colour currently en vogue. The servants, of course, are wearing fine livery.

Here’s a snap of the ball, and in the background - could that be... Tatiana? That same girl Onegin met in the village, so regal, so beautiful?

Tatiana’s dress is a nice black velvet piece (and, notably, she’s wearing a малиновый берет, a crimson beret, which is always sung in the text but rarely seen on stage). It’s starkly different from all the other dresses. That simple yet very fine design sets her apart from the crowd, what prince Gremin appreciates in his aria about her. She’s a part of this high society, and yet a bit of an outsider. Her scarf is white: she has the utmost respect for her husband, even if it’s not romantic love.

After seeing Onegin again, Tatiana is shaken. And when we see her again, she is dressed in white. Just like in act 1, back in the village - she’s turned into the girl she was!

And. Look. At. The. Scarf!!!!!!! IT’S THE SAME ONE AS BEFORE - but now she’s wearing it inside out, the bright part outside, the dark part inside - their situation has inverted! Now it’s Onegin asking for her love, and Tatiana is doing the rejecting!

I love this production so much... The artists are amazing, from Goncharova’s Tatiana, to Bondarenko’s Onegin, to the maestro Gergiev at the conductor’s podium. It’s visually sharp, too, I loved the backdrop. I can wax lyrical about this production until the end of time, but for now, I’ll stick to the costumes. There’s probably a lot more they tell! Maybe I’ll notice it on my next rewatch...

[dreaminpetals]

I love how you write Andrew, could I have a little mermaid au where his s/o is a mermaid and it follows the events of the disney movie?? Or it can be a normal mermaid fic if you're not familiar with it, no pressure. Keep up the great work <3

🌊 the little mermaid // andrew kreiss

you had always been fascinated with human culture, particularly the people that lived above your aquatic kingdom. the castle you lived in was located directly under what your friend bonbon called a railway. everyday a train would zoom past, full of humans with different lives and destinations. you longed to grow legs and ride a train yourself. alas, you were stuck under the sea with seahorse drawn carriages as your main mode of transportation.

bonbon had been teaching you about conductors, the brave humans who controlled the trains, before you realized you were almost late to see your favourite train fly by. it was going to arrive any minute now and you needed to see it.

unfortunately, when you swam as fast as your little tail could take you to the railway, embers and rubble were scattered throughout the terrain as far as the eye could see. the train had... crashed?

your first instinct was to search for survivors of the wreckage. after digging through heaps of metal and ash, you found a man struggling to stay afloat. "i've got you!" you yelped, battling the debris with your tail and bringing him to the surface to rest atop a loose seat from the train.

when you got a good look at the human you saved, it was as if cupid struck you with one of his arrows. he was a man with skin so pale it was almost grey, and beautiful white hair despite looking so young. it was unlike anything you've ever seen before, did all humans look like this? his eyes fluttered open and met yours. they were a coral hue and absolutely breathtaking. looking up, you recognized his hat from the stories bonbon rehearsed to you... he was the train conductor! oh, you were so glad that he was safe.

merfolk were meant to be kept a secret from the humans lest they be hunted for their scales, so once a spotlight flashed over the man you returned home, giggling all the way back. you got to touch a human and it was a handsome one too! you couldn't wait to tell your sisters about it.

arriving at the castle, you were instantly greeted by two of your sisters, emily and vera. they both wondered why you were covered in soot.

oh yeah.

you were a bit dirty from rescuing that train conductor.

they washed you up with some soap while you gushed to them about the boy you saw, but none of them were very impressed with your actions.

"humans are the reason we lost our father, he was killed by pirates, do you not remember?" vera scolded you as she massaged soap into your scalp, "there are plenty of mermen for you to choose from so please, please stay away from the surface. i don't want to lose a sister," if she wanted to nail guilt into your head then it certainly worked, you felt awful. was saving him really that heinous of a crime? you couldn't simply ignore someone if they were about to die, human or not.

emily scrubbed at your tail and tut-tutted you, "humans are dangerous creatures and only wish to hunt us down, i'd advise seeking mental help if you find yourself attached to one... please y/n, we only want the best for you."

halfway through her speech you suddenly became dizzy. you heard the sound of a young girl cackling in your ear, and you swore you saw a flash of purple swimming away, right outside your window...

*

the sea witch, yidhra, let out a boisterous laugh when she learned of your current situation. a mermaid has fallen in love with a human? oh, this was too good!

yidhra specialized in making deals with unsuspecting merfolk, she collected their souls like an oyster would collect pearls. young lovestruck girls were the most vulnerable of targets, she could see herself winning big off of you. the daughter of miss nightingale, ruler of the seas? you being a princess in love meant you could hand over the key to the kingdom if you could spend just a day with your beloved. dangerous schemes swam through her head, this was going to be the deal of a lifetime.

meanwhile, above the surface, the train conductor who nearly tasted death was going nuts thinking about you. hushed whispers of townsfolk taught him that mermaids were ravenous creatures who only sought to lure sailors from their ships to consume their souls, but a mermaid had saved him. nobody believed andrew; they insisted he had been pulled from the wreckage by one of his crewmates and merely hallucinated a mermaid. a mermaid would never save him, they would only drag him down further.

their words ate away at andrew. were mermaids as misunderstood as he was? his entire life, andrew had been cast away as a monster. rumours circled around that his lack of pigment was caused by sucking out the souls of his train passengers for nutrients. the mystery girl he saw wouldn't leave his mind, every waking moment he heard her voice, a melodic chirp that promised to save him... if only he recorded her appearance, he couldn't remember what she looked like if he did try to find her. only her voice. he longed to meet her. he longed to repay her, nobody deserves to endanger themselves to save andrew kreiss of all people.

*

when you stirred, all of your sisters were gathered around your clamshell bed. frantic whispers filled the room as you sat up and placed a heat compress on your head. it felt like someone hexed you.

"she has a slight fever, but i trust that y/n will make a full recovery with some rest," emily explained to tracy, your youngest sister who was beside herself with worry. "she likely went into shock from seeing a human up close. fret not, demi is preparing some medicine as we speak."

soon enough, their voices fizzled out and were replaced by a ghoulish group of whispers in your ear. it sounded like several children and an old woman speaking all at once. "come to yidhra's domain, sweet princess. you will meet your human love if you follow my instructions." your human love? your ears perked up the moment you heard her mention the train conductor you had fallen for. suddenly gaining a burst of energy, you told your sisters you were going to take a breather in the castle garden and swam off. they were left dumbfounded.

before you raced to yidhra's domain, you told your feathered friend bonbon what you were up to, just in case something happened. you had no idea how much this would pay off later on.

yidhra's domain intimidated you the moment it came into view. it was a serpent shaped cave made of bones surrounded by gardens of disembodied, broken souls. they moaned and weeped as you swam past them. miss nightingale warned you about yidhra, insisting that you never make a deal with the sea witch. however... she wanted to reunite you with the train conductor, she wanted to help you! none of your sisters understood how you felt, but yidhra did.

"is yidhra here?" you called out to an empty room lined with bookshelves and potions, a cauldron brewing in the centre. then, a pale blue woman with a serpent's tail emerged from the dark.

"sweet princess, have you come to make a deal with me?" she purred, tilting your chin up with a bony finger. you nodded. "you'd go against mommy's wishes for a human boy?" this time her tone was more condescending, but you nodded anyways.

"he's a train conductor, a brave man... oh yidhra, he's perfect, you'd know if you met him!"

yidhra snickered, slithering back to her bookshelves and carefully removing a contract with a floating pen. "what if i told you that you could see him again, dearie?" she used magic to teleport the contract into your hands, along with the pen. "if you sign this contract, you will become a human for three days. if the boy gives you true love's kiss by sunset of the third day, you'll stay as a human forever and fall in love, yadda yadda,"

you nodded, it sounded like a perfect deal. who knew yidhra could be so generous?

she gave a deafening clap of her hands. "hush. i'm not done." then a devilish grin corrupted her features, "if he doesn't kiss you, then you can kiss you and your kingdom goodbye. i will replace miss nightingale as ruler of the seas and you'll be the prettiest soul in my patch. deal?"

silence enveloped both of you as you thought this through. three days was plenty of time, all you had to do was kiss. he was your true love, your soulmate, it was a naive thought but you had never felt so much for another person before.

"silly me, i forgot to mention," yidhra stifled a cackle, "you won't have a voice, sweetie. you'll be a mute. will this conductor still fall for you when you can't chit chat with him?"

damn her, of course there had to be a catch.

you gave a shaky nod, mumbling that it was a deal. the laugh she let out was unlike anything you've ever heard, what was so funny? she couldn't stop howling as she dropped various potions into her cauldron, steam and green flames overriding your senses. "sing! sing for me, you foolish girl!"

singing a lullaby you grew up with, you signed the contract and felt your voice fade away along with your consciousness.

*

when you rose, you were on the shores of a freezing cold sea, the conductor staring down at you in disbelief. thank god for the seaweed covering your shivering form.

andrew blinked at you, visibly concerned. "i ah... i... i noticed you," he reached out a trembling hand which you gladly took to hoist yourself up. your feet buckled under you. wait. feet? looking down you noticed that you were a human, you had legs and feet! you could hardly contain your excitement, yidhra was helping you! your attention shifted back to the man in front of you, pulling you close to his chest so you wouldn't fall. "you washed up on the... shore. are you okay?" he was fumbling over his words and seemed so uncomfortable around you, like he wasn't used to the skin to skin contact.

you tried to answer but your words were caught in your throat. she wasn't messing around when she took your voice, you couldn't produce any type of sound whatsoever.

"ah, you're... you're scared of me, aren't you?" andrew tried to hide the hurt in his voice, "so scared you can't walk or talk. well, run off to your family now. go tell them you saw andrew the train conductor, that he tried to eat you... i know you're thinking it," andrew. your love's name was andrew!

he tried to drop you and turn on his heel to leave, but the moment you hit the grass he had to turn back around to check if you were alright again. he couldn't leave you.

you pointed to your throat as you stood up, knees wobbly. you made an 'x' shape with your arms and shook your head. andrew had an unreadable expression, but slowly began to nod in understanding. "oh, you can't speak? i'm... sorry for assuming, the people around here are... they're... not the kindest. they're wolves."

his eyes flicked to your body and saw the seaweed barely clinging to you. did you fall overboard or something? he wanted to respect your privacy so he stared at the water beside you as he set his coat over your shoulders, still averting his gaze. it was cozy and smelled like mint. the fur lining on the inside warmed you right up. "you would have froze in that. i'm not sure where you're... from, but... ah, just follow me," you gave him a grin and he walked you back to his home which wasn't far. it was right beside the grand railway you loved observing. it felt like a dream to visit it while andrew had his arms around you, even if he didn't know who you were.

he saw your jaw drop at the sight of the railway and the parked train. "that's my family's train, folks here aren't too... nice to me, but... they appreciate all our hard work," from what you could gather, he seemed to be an outcast. you related to that.

once you arrived at his house, he dashed upstairs to what you presumed to be his mother's room, because he returned with a stunning, sequinned dress. it was the same colour as your mermaid's tail!

after you were dried off and dressed, he sat down at the dinner table with you. for dinner you two ate some beef stew, one of his favourites. it was so amusing to him how you tried to brush your hair with a fork before the meal. he wanted to make small talk with you, but what would we say? it wasn't just the fact you were mute, but he's never eaten dinner with anyone other than his mother before. she passed years ago and he was left to fend for himself in their shared house, he's been entirely alone since you turned up. what could he say..?

"may i guess your name, miss?" andrew asked after swallowing some carrots, his voice as shaky as usual.

you gave him a playful thumbs up.

"great... hm, you strike me as a galatea."

thumbs down.

"violetta, then?"

thumbs down.

"ahh, okay... strike three, you remind me of a y/n."

thumbs up, and a bright smile on your face!

"n-no way, y/n? well, y/n... i'm sure you don't want to live with a monster for the rest of your days, so... i'll contact rescue... you'll be home by tomorrow morning,"

that made you flinch. tomorrow morning? you had to kiss him within three days! you vigorously shook your head and he tried to decipher what you meant.

"do you have a home? memory loss?"

you shook your head to both.

"ah, so you... saw your home get destroyed when you washed up. i'm sorry y/n." he stirred his beverage to break the silence, but the look he gave you was nothing short of heartbroken. how would you ever tell him you were a mermaid? "a similar thing happened yesterday... a train i was on crashed, and... a uh, mermaid saved me. nobody believes me though, but i felt her tail, heard her voice..."

his words made you freeze.

"you're the only person i can say this to, but... i think i love her."

you fainted.

*

after tucking you into his mother's bed, andrew headed outside for some fresh air. the salty smell of the sea would always help steel his nerves. running his calloused fingers through his hair, he reflected on the chaotic past two days he was being dragged through.

a mute girl who lived on a ship crashed and landed right in front of his home. he could barely handle the pressure of caring for you. you were adorable, charming, and the kindest person he had met, but he wanted to find the mermaid who saved him. he wasn't sure if what he felt for you was love or not, all he could think about was the mysterious mermaid.

then, as if fate hadn't been unpredictable enough, he heard her voice coming from a few feet away. an ethereal woman emerged from the sea, silky black hair matching her pitch black dress. she looked so mysterious, but her voice was all too familiar to andrew.

"oh, my sweet conductor, i became human out of love for you... please, let us marry as soon as possible!" the woman spoke in that relaxing, life saving voice. he could listen to it all day. he didn't know that she was hijacking his mind with a powerful love spell, he would become infatuated with more than her voice very soon.

"m-my name is andrew kreiss, miss... miss...?"

"tomie yidhra. but oh, how i yearn to be tomie kreiss! i don't view you as a monster in the slightest, i only wish to nurture you and love you for the rest of my days... you're the strongest and bravest man i know, please marry me! marry me andrew!"

how could he say no to those words, dripping out of the air like honey? no, really. he couldn't say no.

"i would love to."

"the day after tomorrow, at sunset... let us be wed, andrew."

*

the next day, you woke up to the sight of andrew looming over you again. you saw him give a silent fist bump when you sat up, he must have been ill with worry all night.

"oh! you're awake, that's good, miss. miss y/n, i have something unbelievable to tell you..."

you tilted your head to a curious angle, silently urging for him to continue.

"do you recall my story of a mermaid who saved me? she grew legs last night and visited me... tomie yidhra, we'll be marrying tomorrow... i would ah, love for you to come,"

you tried to scream but it was silent.

that bitch.

that wicked, evil bitch.

she took advantage of the fact andrew only recognized your voice and impersonated you. you needed to give him true love's kiss before their wedding. he was planning to marry yidhra. yidhra would kill him!

fueled by the fear of losing him, you bravely draped your arms around andrew's neck and gave him the deepest, most desperate kiss you could possibly give. he immediately pried his lips off yours and rubbed the back of his neck in humiliation.

"y-y/n! you're... you're great and all, but... i love tomie. please don't be hurt..." it was so strange and tragic, every time he spoke yidhra's human name it looked like he was under some kind of hypnosis, he wasn't his usual self. why would closed off andrew suddenly decide to marry her? tears brimmed at your eyes thinking of how foolish you were. "i have to leave now. work. i hope i didn't... ruin anything." he hurried out the door, giving you one last sad look before leaving you alone.

silent wails and shrieks of agony were caught in your throat, glass burrowing itself inside every inch of your body. your sisters were right. bonbon was right. miss nightingale was right. you should have left andrew alone, he wouldn't be tricked into marrying a sea witch this way. you ran outside, back to the shore you washed up on, and tried to swim back home, in case it gave you a tail. it didn't. you were still a human. you wanted nothing more than to reach yidhra's domain and strangle her yourself.

*

as you writhed in despair, bonbon flew overheard and recognized you. he saw the wedding boat being prepared and assumed your dreams were coming true, was andrew already engaged? he hoped not, and headed to the wedding boat to investigate.

there, he saw a woman with raven hair taking her makeup off and preparing for bed. except her reflection... her reflection showed the wicked sea witch, yidhra. then, in your voice, bonbon heard her shout for room service. this woman andrew was marrying... it was that vile witch, disguised as the woman who selflessly saved his life.

he flung some of his fecal matter through the window out of spite, and yidhra shrieked in your voice. yup, there was no doubting it, he has to interfere.

*

the next day, wedding bells rang and all you wanted was to drop dead. none of the guests even liked andrew and of course nobody knew who yidhra was, they were only attending his wedding out of curiosity. they were curious what ill woman would marry a demon.

you dabbed away the tears with your handkerchief and noticed that andrew was looking anywhere but you as he hooked arms with the bride. they were giving their vows, seconds away from kissing, until a starfish shot out of the water and hit yidhra square in the face.

then a dolphin flopped on deck.

then several octopi stuck to the crowd.

just what was going on here?

you began to recognize some of the creatures that made their way on the ship, and if you weren't mistaken, you could hear bonbon's voice in the distance... he was shouting 'attack'?

finally, you saw your sisters emerge from the sea.

"don't marry tomie, andrew! she's a witch! y/n was the mermaid who turned into a hu-"

before martha could finish, you felt a dull pain in your legs. oh no. casting a horrified glance to the horizon, the sun was setting.

"stupid girl!" yidhra transformed back into her serpent form, and spoke in her usual vile voice. "you may have found me out, but you didn't get your true love's kiss! andrew chose ME!" she gave her usual boisterous laugh, and with a stomp of her tail, the ship flipped overboard.

"andrew!" you called out, searching for him once again. your voice was back, you couldn't believe it. he was floating on a seat, just like when you saved him for the first time. "andrew, it's me, i'm sorry... i was so stupid," a gloved hand wiped the tears from your eyes, and he gave a content smile when he heard your voice. it fit you much better than that raggedy witch.

"it's okay, y/n... so, it was you all along...?" he gave a sad laugh when you nodded. you leaned in to kiss him and he gladly reciprocated, he was actually leaning into the kiss this time and it felt magical. the moment was quickly killed when you saw yidhra holding miss nightingale, ripping off her mask and placing it on her own face. this was terrible news. that mask helped her maintain balance between all the creatures of the sea, it was her main source of strength and wisdom. if it fell into the wrong hands, the results would be catastrophic.

and it just did.

yidhra grew ten times her usual size and towered above everyone scrambling for land. storms brewed in the sky and the aura of the evening changed, everyone was in grave danger.

"idiot girl, handing off her kingdom for a boy... why don't you kiss one last time before you sleep with the fishes!" yidhra bellowed and you couldn't take it anymore. you scooped up andrew and swam to a docked sailboat with a large wooden spike at the front. andrew wasn't a violent person in the slightest, but he was the only one who could kill yidhra right now and save the sea.

he began steering, a bit rusty, and reached yidhra's blindspot. he could sense the worry in her voice as she called out her followers. they were the ones who sent you those messages, they were working under her...! andrew steered straight into them and you had to look away. what you saw horrified you even more. miss nightingale was slowly being transformed into one of those soulless creatures from yidhra's garden, and judging by the sudden jolt of pain in your tail, the same would be happening to you very soon. "andrew, please hurry!" you cried out to him.

in the blink of an eye, causing a whole lot of trauma for andrew, he crashed the ship into yidhra's snake body. she howled in pain before andrew dealt the final blow with his shovel. yidhra disintegrated into what looked like confetti, hideous scaly confetti. the sky returned to normal and from it fell miss nightingale's mask. the soul stealing process ended quickly for you and miss nightingale. she retrieved her mask and freed all of the other soulless merfolk in the garden, as well as moving andrew to the shore where he could rest. he appeared to have passed out.

hours passed and all you could do was sit on a rock across from andrew's sleeping form, watching him intently. you had one chance with him and you blew it, you were a mermaid again. he looked so serene when he slept, but the scars littering his body told you that he's fought battles you couldn't even imagine. nothing has ever been so close to you but so far.

andrew finally opened his eyes and saw you. his face lit up when his gaze met yours, but quickly returned to a frown when your tail flicked towards him. you wouldn't have legs ever again.

as you two stared in disbelief, your family rose from the water. "y/n," your mother hummed as she placed a hand on her mask, "you've grown so much."

in a flash, your tail began to sparkle and shift, but it wasn't painful like how yidhra treated you. your mother's powers came from loving you, not tricking you. your tail slowly split into two, into...

two legs.

no words could describe how you felt, your head snapped around to your girls who were wiping their eyes in awe. "go on, sweetheart. be with him." electricity filled your veins.

they finally realized how wrong they were about humans.

taking a tentative step onto the shallow ocean floor, you felt the sand squish between your toes and collapse under your heel. in a bout of pure glee, you sprinted towards andrew. he caught you in his arms and twirled you around, staring lovingly into your eyes. neither of you could believe this was happening.

"let's go home," you cooed.

"yeah. let's."

this time, when andrew walked back home with you, his butterflies were caused by complete adoration for you, not because he feared for your safety. he felt so free now that yidhra wasn't controlling either of you. he was looking forward to the life he'd be spending with you, his little mermaid.

[marlowe-the-sprout]

My name is Emily —— ———- —————. My middle names are that of my aunts, as per family tradition: girls named after aunts, boys named after uncles. I don’t have any uncles by blood.

I am 9 years old and get called out for reading during class. I find a new hiding spot to read in during library hours. We paint tiny self-portraits on the wall next to the Crucifix. Every red and white flag is hung below a man executed for disrupting the peace among a strict state.

I am 10 years old and when pressed for which boy I have a crush on, I choose one of my friends to get them off my back. The other girls assure me that he likes me too.

I am 11 years old and want to be around one of my classmates more because I related a lot to him. I interpret it as a crush and against my mum’s suggestions, I send him a love letter and have a friend of mine deliver it in class. I contemplate just not signing it, and I’ll regret signing it in years to come, when my difficulties in interpreting my sentiments cause a running joke.

I am 12 years old and I am wearing fitted leggings at practice because they are warm, comfortable, and stay out of the way. I am suddenly aware of every single middle-aged man in the small crowd in the stands.

I am 13 years old and I have read PJO cover to cover multiple times, and every piece of Rick Riordan’s mythology series. I give in and read Harry Potter in the span of a few months between the school library and my dad’s copies on the bookshelf. My best friend introduces me to AO3, and my life will feel like it has never been the same. I read of familiar characters, new OC’s, magic and time-travel and alternate universes and the exploration of every “what if…?”.

I am 14 years old and I have accepted that I will never be heard in a class discussion. I am a pleasure to have in class, though I seem to have trouble staying on task in Maths. I am praised for my maturity and volume control by the conductor.

I am 15 years old and would rather read than live. Hairdressers are impressed with how thick my hair is and I hate my body. I dye my hair pink and purple and like the green it fades to.

I am 16 years old and I have accepted that my best friend will never like me back. I black out when I stand up from bed. I contemplate the existence of God as I pick at split-ends.

I am 17 years old and I haven’t eaten a proper breakfast in years because it makes me feel sick. I have accepted my back acne and my english teacher is my favourite because she makes me feel heard. My first car accident is labeled as a hit-and-run because I donn’t hear the metal scraping as I backed into someone’s bumper and drive away. I accept a friend’s confession and immediately regret it on two unique occasions.

I am 18 and my graduation dress never touches a stage. Maisey dies a few weeks into quarantine and I have to explain it to M. Gaudreau. Our grad photos are up around main street to satisfy the parents, and though I am faced with my perfectly curled hair every time I pass through the roundabout, I put more energy into ignoring the anti-mask rally facebook posts.

I am 19 and my hair is cut progressively shorter; to my collarbone, shoulder, and then ears. My septum is pierced and I admire my small breasts and soft waist, until I don’t anymore. I tell my mum that I think I’m autistic, and she says she “doesn’t see” me being autistic. I wonder how much of my personality is performative. I go to work at the openly LGBTQ friendly cafe. I can only stand drinking at home and hardly leave my dorm.

I tell my friends my pronouns are they/them, and my closest friend says that I’ll always be their little sister. It was meant to be reassuring, I think. I read of wings and fae and shapeshifters and found family until 5 AM.

I realize that the others in my friend group seek out dates and want to have sex with them. I start playing minecraft on my laptop in my freshman year of University. I lose my first worlds between updates, and I’ll never see that pocket of universe ever again.

I rebuild at the start of sophomore year. I find villages, screenshot coordinates of pink sheep, build a base in a flower field among spruce and snowy mountains. I expand, making an apiary, a greenhouse, a barn(filled with cows and chickens). I sit mining for hours, cautiously avoiding large caves and lava pools. I acquire stacked armour, develop my home village, and brew potions. I explore thousands of blocks out, and finally think to build a tower that will always lead me home.

I cry to songs because of animatics of fanfictions of fictional characters; I cry over lost minecraft worlds; I cry when I miss my mum and dad; I cry because I miss my cat; I cry when I get into an argument with my grandma; I cry after my first hands-on MVC.

I do not cry when my best friend says that I will always be her little sister.

I do not cry when my Mum tells me that I’ll always be her youngest daughter.

I do not cry when my sister decides it is time to ring herself out of PRFD.

I do not cry when I freeze up around exams and barely scrape past.

I do not cry when a potential friend reacts negatively and yet still attempts to be polite about the pronoun question.

I haven’t ever had a regular period, and I’m scared. If I take birth control, will my body change? Will I lose my facial hair? Will my breasts get bigger? I hate my body enough as is, thank you.

My ankles and knees almost constantly hurt to some degree.

I take a RAADS-AD test and score a 157.

I find it difficult to fall asleep without something to hug and a weighted blanket.

I delete my Tindr profile, as if I ever truly felt the need to pursue any matches romantically.

I wonder if I’ll ever show my true self unapologetically. I wonder if anyone will ever accept my most authentic person, including myself.

I wonder if I’ll ever view myself as anything more than a burden to carry.

I hate looking at pictures of myself, because I have none that are recent enough to be accurate.

I am 19 years old and browse names with my sister in our shared apartment. I like the name Emmett, or maybe Adrian?

I think about neopronouns. It would be cool, but anyone whose opinions matter wouldn’t bother or make time for it. They’d debate things like the dictionary definitions, as if dictionaries are rule books, not records. They’d debate the use of “they” in singular form, saying that they just aren’t used to it; they aren’t willing to change. They won’t be willing to learn about identities without me being their personal LGBT2SQ+ tutor. They won’t be willing to learn about what exactly it means for someone to be genderfluid, for their identity to be more flexible than they could ever fully comprehend.

They will call me daughter, niece, sister.

But my name is not Emily; my name is Marlowe.

I am 20 years old, and I am a person.

[thepermanentrainpress]

THE PERMANENT RAIN PRESS INTERVIEW WITH AJAY FRIESE

Victoria’s Ajay Friese is a performer, in more than one aspect of the arts. An actor, musician, dancer, songwriter, he’s always looking to challenge himself as a creator. While Friese is continuing to build an impressive resume of film credits, last week marked a different memorable moment – the release of his debut EP, Light a Match… Then Run.

You’ve said that an orchestra conductor was the first “thing” you ever wanted to be. What are some of your earliest memories of music in your life, and how did that passion evolve?

I insisted on learning the violin when I was four – those little child violins are so cute when you look at them now – very tiny. Then I announced the following year – no lie – that "I was retiring". My parents still laugh at that. Another memory is watching the Avril Lavigne tour DVD with my older sister when I was 6. That shit was awesome. When I picked up the violin again I was 9, and I remember an instance with the BC Fiddle Orchestra where I messed up during one of the songs, accidentally changing the key to a minor, but then people thought it sounded cool and funny, so we actually ended up performing it like that at a later show, hahaha.

You played the Phantom in a high school production of ‘The Phantom of the Opera.’ That’s an intense role! What did you take away from that experience, and what was your favourite song to perform?

You know, that was the first time that I realized what it really meant how to act. I’d been in 8 or 9 shows, but you're right - this one was intense, more so than any earlier one. It required the most preparation, and after all that prep, I found I was able to just forget about everything while on stage – it was like the audience wasn’t even there, like I wasn’t self-conscious, like I didn’t even have any Ajay thoughts. Now that I look back, I think it was actually one of my first times experiencing the flow state.

Your debut EP Light a Match… Then Run is out October 8th. What are you most proud of with your forthcoming release, and tell us about your journey to get to this point?

I’m really proud of the whole thing. I just put so much heart and work into it, believe it or not it's the work of an entire decade – which is a long time for someone my age! I wrote “Blackberry” in grade 7, “Beauty’s So Raw” in grade 12, “Jasper” during my gap year, and “Your Eyes” during quarantine… I've been writing for a dozen years, but this project represents some of my favs so far.

Your sound doesn’t hold itself to one specific genre, you’ve ventured to alt-rock, folk, and pop/EDM territory. Is experimentation something you’ve always enjoyed in the process?

Yes. I think a lot of that comes from acting – even when it’s just an audition, you get a lot of experience playing different types of roles, and you begin to realize how versatile and adaptable you are. My whole life I've listened to many genres – movie scores, classical, my dad rocking out in the basement, my parents’ old Buena Vista Social Club, my older sisters’ favs. There are so many things to appreciate in music – and I think that comes out in my songs. In a way, I think ‘personality’ is a myth – as in, the concept of some invisible walls that we operate within is maybe self-imposed – or at least not universally true. I pull from all sorts of influences. I sort of just do whatever I think would sound cool for the track, whether that’s an EDM hook, little lullaby bells or a John Mayer-esque guitar solo.

A recurring theme of this EP will be ‘love’. What can you share about how the tracks carry this overarching theme, and how they will differ?

I wrote these songs over the past 10 years, so naturally, given my age (I’m 23), love is going to be a recurring theme, but they're definitely not all happy love songs! Or angsty teenage love songs either. I’ve curated the EP to start out happy and end sad… kind of the path of most relationships at my age. I want people to experience that journey as they listen.

You’ve worked with a number of collaborators on this EP, including your producer Everett Bradley, Lucienne Nahrwar (“Higher Stakes”) and Michael Tessier (“Your Eyes”). Tell us about your team, and being able to create together. Did you share the same vision?

Everett is an old friend of my dad's and is so talented – a Grammy nominee in fact. He's played with Bon Jovi, Hall and Oates, and Stevie Wonder, to name a few amazing acts. I was stoked when he took an interest in my music. And even cooler (I mean what could be cooler than recording in NYC?!) – was that he connected me to other world class musicians, who had played with Madonna and The Black Eyed Peas, for example. That was so surreal and such a privilege. And Lucienne and Michael are both good friends from my hometown who are insanely talented – the songs I wrote with them happened organically, and then I was like, this is cool, I should put this out!

It’s become common for an artist to already be working on new material, while promoting a new release. Have you already been conceptualizing or writing for a second EP (or debut album)?

Haha I’m glad you asked, because it never stops, and I'm really excited about some new stuff. Over quarantine I met a producer named Vinay Vyas (Nicki Minaj, David Guetta), and we had an insane connection. We really value the same musical elements – believing that while polish and modernity are so important, it’s vital to maintain that real, raw, genuine emotion in the recordings. We experimented a bit with some songs and it is sounding great, so I’m headed to Portugal in a few weeks to begin working on my next project with him.

Your friend and Lost in Space co-star Mina Sundwall directed your music video for “Blackberry.” How did this come about, and what was it like working with Mina on a project so close to heart?

It was super fun to do the “Blackberry” video with Mina – she is really talented. I played “Blackberry” for Mina when we were filming season 3 of Lost In Space. We’d chatted briefly about the back story: about how I wrote the song in middle school, after having accidentally set fire to the hill behind my house; about how I lied and kept quiet about it all summer long until I finally confessed by writing my mom a letter and tucking it into her dresser. I told Mina about the release that came with revealing that secret. After showing the song to Mina, she called out of the blue months later, not just with a vision, but with a fully detailed treatment for the music video, exploring the themes we’d discussed. It was great to work with her because I really trusted her ideas and vision, and I could tell she cared about the project just as much as I did. Plus, we got to hang out in California, and I hadn’t been much further than my backyard for a year and a half, so that was dope.

Having a platform of fans from both your acting career and now with music, how has it helped in your reach? Do you ever feel pressure to focus on one or the other, or have you found a good balance between both art forms?

I’m still exploring the balance – sometimes I get soooo into music and just want to forget about acting for a few weeks, and other times I get so inspired and passionate about acting and a couple weeks pass without picking up the guitar. The wonderful thing about the two is they really feed into each other in so many ways – not only in the collective fanbase but also creatively and emotionally. I also am lucky to have such a varied fan base, which I hope enjoys getting exposed to both aspects but also which gives me great feedback!

We always see you tagged in fan art and edits for Lost in Space! They are so passionate about the show! What message do you have for them, and their support?

I can't express strongly enough how much it means. Not only to other fans of the show, but also to the cast and crew. I spend hours watching fan edits and art on Instagram, and I’ve seen some stuff that has blown my mind! No matter what it is, even a simple meme… it means a lot. Thank you!

You filmed Season 3 of Lost in Space during the pandemic. You’ll return as Vijay Dhar in the show’s final season. What can you tease about what’s to come?

Well… as you know I personally love to both act and sing…..hint hint! :-) 

What has been your favourite scene to be a part of over the 2 seasons, and is your all-time favourite scene still to come?

Without a doubt, my favourite scene has been the Penny-Vijay trash compactor scene in Season 2, an homage to Star Wars. However, my all-time favourite scene IS still to come, which means, I'm sorry, my lips are sealed. I can tell you that I prepared for it for 10 days. I was working hard and anxious about it, resulting in only 4 hours of sleep the night before (not on purpose of course). When the time came however, it turned out really well. Can't wait for everyone to see it – and guess what the scene was!

Tell us about filming, and your experience on-set. Was it difficult to adjust to, with the constant Covid testing, face shields, and physical distancing?

First and foremost, I was just so happy to be seeing people in real life every day. It was a bit of a hassle getting tested 3x a week, but then again it was pretty amazing to be on a set full of people who you know are likely Covid-free. We did wear masks when not filming and I missed seeing people’s facial expressions. Mainly though, I was just super happy to be back at work.

The cast (and crew) has become like family! Was your final day on set very emotional?

You know, it was, but it felt right. I was feeling weird about the show ending for months, but right after I filmed my character’s final scenes and completed my arc, I was surprised to feel a real sense of closure, and happy pride. I think it’s gonna be a really magical season.

Tell me about your relationship with your co-stars, in particular the Robinson children – Mina, Maxwell Jenkins, and Taylor Russell – and your father Victor (portrayed by Raza Jaffrey)?

Well as you know Mina and I are good friends, as well as collaborators on my "Blackberry" music video! Max is a good buddy, we even watched Borat 2 together (which Max is too young for, but his mom let him, so oh well. Yay for us!) Taylor is so inspiring to me - I marvel at her talent and poise, and Raza is just the best… he has been very dad-like as someone to go to for advice, but different from a dad in that he is also a peer. I am lucky to be able to call him a mentor, both on acting and on life. I can chat with him about anything, he’s really one of the best people I’ve met.

Aside from Lost in Space, you’ve also worked on series including Riverdale and Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Is there anyone you’ve worked with, who you’ve been starstruck to share the screen with? What’s been your favourite photo op from a set?

I remember standing across the circle from Elijah Wood (in Dirk Gently) with the director and a few other actors, and we were reading the scene we were about to film. I was trying to concentrate on my lines but really it was more like "woah that’s Frodo, he’s 2 meters away". I was a bit in awe, but we chatted later and somehow he just has this way of immediately making you comfortable and coming across like a regular person. While still starstruck – how could you not be – I became much more at ease.

You’re still a student, currently at Quest University (in Squamish). Tell us about your program and what you’re enjoying about it so far?

I’m in the Quest University LEAP program, which is geared towards elite athletes and performers, but allowing us the flexibility to continue to work or train while going to university. Since the school runs on a block system (classes run one-at-a-time, a typical year consisting of 8 consecutive classes), the LEAP program affords us the ability to study at Quest during our months off – which is so great because most of us still want to pursue a post-secondary education. Not to mention that the classes are great and capped at 20 students, and the school is located in breath-taking Squamish, BC, which allows me to get to Vancouver for an afternoon audition, and go climbing or hiking when there's time off.

As a Victoria local, what are your favourite spots to visit or eat at on Vancouver Island?

For food – KUMA Noodle is a strong ramen place in Victoria (one of the few hahaha). For bars – Bodega, Wind Cries Mary, and Cenote are my favourites. And for places to adventure – all of lower Vancouver Island, which is on the territory of the Coast Salish people – is stunning. My best friend and I hike in East Sooke Park, and the rest of the island is loaded with incredible beaches and pristine forest. We are so lucky!

What’s your favourite ‘old Justin Bieber’ song? Who else can we find on your fall playlist?

This is probably the hardest question in this interview!! Hahahaha. To be honest I’ve always kept up with the Biebs, ever since “One Time”. I even 'attended' his New Year’s Eve party last year (ok, virtually, with like the entire world… but still.)

My fav is probably “All That Matters” from Journals. And for my fall playlist – I really couldn’t tell you what I’ll be listening to tomorrow or even later today for that matter! It changes all the time. But recently I’ve been enjoying Noah Cyrus, Lil Nas X, Tokyo Rat, KJ Apa’s new album, Quarterback, Ed Sheeran’s recent stuff, and the Folklore and Evermore albums from Taylor Swift.

And our signature question – if you could be any ice cream flavour, which would you be and why?

Moss.… I feel like someone could make this taste good… right? Any ice-cream flavourologists reading this?

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A tremendous thank you to Ajay for answering our questions about music, acting, and everything in-between! Light a Match...Then Run is out now, so be sure to purchase and stream the EP on your favourite platform. The third and final season of Lost in Space drops on Netflix December 1st. 

Follow Ajay Friese on Twitter and Instagram to stay updated with his new projects! 

Photo credit (header image) to: Cody Briggs for Homebody Creatives Special thanks to: Strut Entertainment