#he was always coddled and protected from everything. he's never had to figure anything out himself. everyone always did everything for him.

[running-in-the-dark]

I know it would be a really bad idea to do this (really bad), but I'm starting to think I should reach out to my brother (the one that physically attacked me a couple months ago... like I said, bad idea.)

I keep telling myself not to do it but it's just so hard. I hate being in this position. I just want to get along with everyone. But I've always had to be the one who reaches out, the one who apologises, the one who forgives everything, the one who makes themselves smaller so that everyone else is comfortable. And I'm done. I don't want that anymore. If he won't come to me to explain himself (and apologise!), fine, I guess we won't talk again.

[chuulyssa]

prince!gojo somehow knows exactly when you need him.

tw nightmares + mentions of a horrible past, angst

the hallway was dark, save for the faint glow of the moon seeping through the cracks in the curtains. most of the house was asleep, and it was so quiet that you could hear the crickets chirp from even the closed windows. you were lying in bed, trying to shut out the unease that gnawed at your insides. it had been like this for weeks — these strange, suffocating hands gripping at your throat, your hair and your feet, pushing you into a cage that was slowly inching towards a floor filled with lava, in front of which sat a large crowd of chattering people, no doubt enjoying the scene of torment. and then the place would evaporate again, showing an old kitchen, burnt food in a plate and torn and stitched hand-me-downs, until you grew tired of the images and forced yourself to wake up.

you squeezed your eyes shut after waking up this way for the twelfth time that night, waiting for sleep to come again, but it didn’t. instead, you only felt the shadows in the corners of your room grow longer, and the whispering voices growing louder, cold fingers brushing the back of your neck. you shook your head vigorously as if to push the ghosts of your past away, but they always came back.

and then, you heard it.

the soft tap-tap of footsteps down the hallway, just light enough that anyone else would have missed them. but you didn’t. you knew those footsteps. they were the ones that always came, no matter how late it was, no matter how much time had passed since you last heard them. the door to your room creaked open quietly, and there he was.

satoru.

he didn’t say anything — he never did — but you felt the familiar warmth of his presence before he even stepped inside. even you could never figure out what dream you would have the next day, but somehow satoru always knew. and you never questioned it.

his steps were quiet as he made his way over to your bed, and you could hear the soft rustle of his clothes as he sat down beside you. he was close now, so close. you lifted your head up to greet him and he saw your moist cheeks. wiping them gently without a word, he tugged the covers back, slipping in beside you. his arm came around your waist, pulling you close, and for a moment, you could breathe again.

“go to sleep. don’t worry about these things, i’m here now,” he whispered softly.

you wanted to argue; you didn’t need to be coddled like a child. but the words never came. you didn’t want to push him away. not now.

you could hear his breath steadying beside you, the rhythm of it calming you. the weight of his arm around you was solid, like it could protect you from anything. and for the first time in the entire night, the nightmares seemed a little less real. the shadows weren’t so dark. the whispers were drowned out by his steady breathing, and him. everything about him. from the scent of his hair to the softness of his palms. it was all him you could think about right now.

“close your eyes,” satoru whispered again.

you nodded against his chest, your fingers curling into the soft fabric of his shirt. his thumb stroked small circles on the small of your back, and you felt your body relax into his. his arms, always so strong, were so gentle around you. 

but then, the years passed.

it wasn’t a sudden change, not at first. it was more like the gradual fade of a dream when you wake up in the morning. when one night, you found yourself lying awake, needing him, but the door didn’t creak open.

when you waited night after night for the gentle sound of his footsteps, but they never came. for the way your bed would softly sink when he climbed up on it, but you never felt it again. when you needed him, but he never came.

you couldn’t understand why. was he busy? were the two of you too old to do this anymore? now he had his own life, his own friends, his own world outside of you. but you hated it. you hated the looming shadows laughing at your pathetic prayers to reach him. you hated the hushed whispers that asked where he was now mockingly. you hated the emptiness in your bed more than any nightmare.

and the morning would come, and you would go to school, but he would never talk about the darkness under your eyes. he knew. and yet he never came.

and you missed it. you missed him.

but satoru didn’t come anymore.

[luminouslywriting]

Heeyyy so I saw that you had a scary surgery?? Ur so brave and get better soon!

I was wondering if maybe you could do a pregnancy HC with any of the BOB boys?? :)

Nonny, you are so sweet 🥹🥹 thank you!! And yes, I’d love to do this one for you! Reminder that my requests are open and I don’t mind spam! More below the cut, cut for length, light spice sprinkled in:

Dick Winters:

-He’s absolutely thrilled to be a father. The minute that you tell him about it, he’s practically giddy like a little kid haha. -A family is always something that he’s wanted and settling down is honestly a dream to him. Especially with you! -Winters thinks that you’re even more perfect pregnant and definitely gets even more of a praise kink during pregnancy. Service top who???

-Doesn’t coddle you but definitely spoils you a little bit and tries to make sure that you have everything you need/want so that things go smoothly. -Loves getting to talk baby names with you and gets really into your self care routine while pregnant. -Probably cries the first time he holds the baby.

Lewis Nixon:

-A wreck. I’m sorry, there’s just no way that this man is NOT panicking about you having a kid bc he feels like he’s already messed things up before and doesn’t want to do that again. -Might need a little bit of space initially to figure out his feelings and pull himself together. But then once he does, he’s all in. I’m talking going to doctors appointments with you, doing additional reading, and researching best ways to cure morning sickness type of guy. -Send him out for cravings, he likes to feel useful while you’re growing a baby haha. -Waxes poetic about the ability to grow life inside of you and pretty much views you as the center of his universe from this point onwards. -Absolutely has sympathy labor pains, I can’t explain that one at all

-Does not let you lift anything heavy or do anything strenuous the entire time you’re pregnant.

Ronald Speirs:

-Gets this really soft expression the minute he hears the news from you and is almost scared of the thought—but he’s ready and he’s super tender about things. -Definitely develops a breeding kink during this time and is so attentive to anything that will help you feel better, including orgasms. -Shows up one day from work with just a TON of baby stuff and maternity that he’s splurged on because he wants you to feel loved and special

-Loves holding you at nighttime and definitely will never admit this, but he talks to the baby and has so many plans

-Foot massages from him and he’ll try to hold the baby weight for you by holding up your stomach once the pregnancy progresses

-Is so protective and lets a few tears shed when the baby is born—he never left your side the entire time. His love for you has multiplied exponentially.

Buck Compton:

-Is the type of man to laugh excitedly and pull you into a fierce kiss that sweeps you off of your feet

-He’s immediately voting on a little boy and starts referring to the baby as Junior. -Is very attentive to you and wants to put the entire nursery together himself. Gets pretty far in the process too! The paint job could be better, but that’s okay! -Likes sharing showers with you and lotions your stomach afterwards with a sweet kiss to the swell of the belly. -But he also lays awake pretty anxious about being a dad and not being the same as he used to be. He wants this kid’s life to be absolutely perfect. -Gets sweetly emotional throughout the pregnancy milestones, including the baby kicking and the first time he hears a heartbeat.

Carwood Lipton:

-The grin on this man’s face will never be matched. He’s so thrilled and so excited about it! -He definitely treats you like precious cargo from there on out; a hand over your stomach when you’re walking in public, a hand in yours during drives, he’s constantly watching out for you. -Loves the way that your body changes and grows to accommodate the baby and thinks that stretch marks are sexy. BODY PRAISE KINK maxed haha. -Very into compliments and he wants you to know how much he loves you each and every day. -He is already good with kids and so he practices by babysitting his nieces and nephews. Watching him with kids is probably a turn on tbh. -Gets oddly into cooking since you’re tired and comes up with the best craving dishes at your request.

Joseph Liebgott:

-Shocked, bamboozled, shooketh, and the softest dumb smile on his face when you tell him. Asks you a million questions immediately following. -This is also followed by the sweetest sex wherein he praises and serviced you to the point of you literally falling asleep haha. -Literally tells everyone he knows because he’s so excited about the entire thing! -Is taking bets with the men in easy on the gender of the baby (he thinks girl haha)

-Also develops a lactation kink during the midst of all of this lol

-Coaches you through labor with support and a hand hold that nearly broke his hand haha

Donald Malarkey:

-An excited soft bean who immediately kisses your stomach in excitement

-Wants to go shopping with you for ALL of the baby things immediately. Please explain that there’s a whole nine months of cooking to him. -Is literally in shock and amazement at the changes your body undergoes as he learns more and more about pregnancy. He is wowed by you and expresses this daily. -Literally the most gentle he has ever been while you’re pregnant and Lowkey a mother hen who doesn’t want you to fall or do anything like lift something heavy. -Probably has a ton of lullabies memorized from his own childhood and starts dusting them off immediately. -Is the most vocal support during labor and encourages you like your life depends on it.

Eugene Roe:

-A flurry of excitement, French words, and light kisses all over immediately

-He’s already ruminating on baby names and trying to imagine how things will go. That being said, he’s best for morning sickness and pregnancy bleh energy. -Knows a ton of wives’ tales about pregnancy and how to help with natural remedies, which he awaits to try out whenever you’re ready

-Bath sex together during this time

-He gets good at doing your hair for you when you’re feeling especially worn out or tired

-Is so soft and sweet the minute you go into labor and stays by your side until the entire thing is over. 10/10 a great dad.

Bill Guarnere:

-Has to blink several times and ask you to repeat it and make sure that he heard you correctly the first time. But once he’s sure, he’s the most excited person ever. -Calls everyone he knows to tell them the news….and he wants to name the baby after Joe Toye if it’s a boy. -Takes the mood swings with a grain of salt but will try all of your cravings with you. He likes a few of them as actual snacks haha. -Gets creative in figuring out positions for sex so that you can be more comfortable

-Sometimes gets nervous about being a dad and kinda retreats within himself. I promise that one good flash of skin will remind him that everything is fine. -Is a wreck during labor but super calm and chill the minute he gets to hold the baby.

Joe Toye:

-Immediately kisses you like you’re his last breath of air. If he was in love with you before, that’s nothing to how he feels now. -Has some insecurities about how he’s going to be a dad with his injury, so hype him up as a dad. -Does all of his own research on the growth of babies and pregnancy. Will recite these facts randomly to you during dinner. -Loved getting to lay with you at nighttime and just talk to you about the kid and all of the hopes and dreams you both have for them. -Probably acutely aware of the cost of pregnancy on your body and is so in awe…he wants more but definitely leaves that in your court since it’s your body. -Also really great with dealing w/ postpartum depression and understands in a different way than most men.

George Luz:

-Goes to make a joke, gets told you’re pregnant, and is rendered totally speechless. Congrats reader. You did that haha. -Immediately starts suggesting names for the baby and starts planning out a whole gaggle of kids on the spot. -Is extremely horny while you’re pregnant and his sex drive rivals yours tbh

-HYPE KING OF COMPLIMENTS and reassuring you that you’re perfect and not a swollen penguin. -Would definitely walk around with a watermelon to feel sympathy for you haha. -Is afraid he’s going to drop the baby but never would ☺️

[stillfrownyclownlol]

I will also talk about Tyler because he's also not normal about stuff 🫠

Right from the start you get these signs he's protective to a detrimental level lol

(BTW Aidlyn scene cuz I'm not normal about them ❤️ The way he literally wraps his whole body in front of her sent me lmao. Mans got his leg around her and everything 🤡)

He's pretty much like this with Taylor in all their scenes. In the Sorrel House he puts his arm in front of her when they see the phantom (that he does not think is real, considering his reaction).

He also has a tendency to drag Taylor away from situations with out asking for her opinion on it 🫠 He just kinda assumes she will want to go with him. Like when he drags her out of the house after saying the phantom was just a prank.

Sir. PLEASE. Kinda possessive of you-

I don't think Red did this on purpose because like. She hasnt really brought up their culture/heritage or anything in the story so far lmao (I'm crying). But idk like just this behavior reminds me a lot of the guys in my family 🙃 I think Latino boys get kind of socialized to be more aggressive and protective of their families at their own expense. He definitely seems like the kind of brother to impose a curfew- He has control issues like. We all see it right? He's a control freak.

Obviously his dad dying has a lot to do with this. His mother took it extremely hard, so then Tyler "stepped up" to take care of both his mom AND his sister, he's been parentified since a very young age (he doesn't look older than 10 imo). I think he feels a need to "be the man of the house" so to speak. He genuinely does not seem to have any hard feelings towards his mom even tho she...you know, fucked up. if any of you know the "latino boys are mama boys" cliche, but.

yeah.

(I do think Taylor has more mom issues because she kinda resents how Tyler has been parentified and she's allowed herself to be angry at their mom for leaving them to fend for themselves)

Sidenote: It looks like his family is very isolated. Like, its strange that nobody came to help Marianna after Ethan died. This isn't always the case but usually Latinos have large families (my mom's family had to push together eight beds so all the cousins could sleep in one room lol) WHICH probably means Tyler's branch of the family is, so far, the first and only to have immigrated to the US. He's probably already a second or third generation tho, his mom has only one surname and he and his sister never seem to speak Spanish, so I don't think they learned it (probably some basics). I don't imagine they've ever been to Mexico except MAYBE when they were very young (its kinda rare to visit...since...it's so hard to get out of there in the first place...🫠 I dont think my parents have been to Venezuela in more than 20 years...but also Venezuela is in way worse condition, so...)

But yeah like. His protectiveness of Taylor is something that actively works against her and something she dislikes. She always looks upset when he drags her out of a situation or tells her what to do. She just wants to help :(

BABYYYYY 🥲

Ofc she never says anything because for most of her life Tyler has put himself in a position of authority and is her caretaker. It's hard to speak up to somebody when they constantly say "I'm doing this for your own good, for your own safety, for-" Whatever. Taylor always believes Tyler does everything for her own best interests, so... even when she doesn't feel good about something, she'll still listen to him. It's a veryyyyyy slippery slope that can quickly become toxic, if it isn't already. Because besides being her brother, he's put himself as her parent figure as well.

He does the thing. You know. Where parentified kids try to overcorrect so they kind of coddle their own children and don't let them do anything because they're scared to death something is gonna happen to them 💀

I don't really know what the point of this was I just wanted to talk about how possessive Tyler can be and how unhealthy his attachment style is 😭 If I write Tyler and Logan angst tho just know it's gonna involve Tyler being overprotective and Logan being Not Cool TM about it 🫠

[sepublic]

As I try to dig into Harumi's whole mindset, I think her revenge logic can be boiled down to idol worship. She doesn't blame Pythor (as much) for the Great Devourer, because Pythor is the designated bad guy, that's what he's supposed to do, he can't let her down if she never had any expectations for him.

But the ninja? Harumi, in her childish wonder, idolized the ninja, practically worshipped them; She had an understandably juvenile understanding of Good VS Evil, of Good always prevailing, of conflict always being black and white and glamorous and in the end, justice wins. Everything is tied up easily.

So then why are her parents dead, why has Harumi lost everything, while everyone celebrates and acts as if the day is saved? It is very much NOT saved in her eyes, how is everyone able to just move on and invalidate her trauma?!?

Harumi idolizes the ninja, she expects them to be perfect heroes because if she can't believe in them, she can't believe in anything; It's why she makes a cult. A cult of personality. She latches onto the idea of Lord Garmadon as someone who can save her, who can accomplish what needs to be done, someone who is perfect and who will never fail her, and maybe you can link this to Harumi missing her parents as steady, dependable figures in her life she can rely on.

She's a stunted child; Harumi still expects for there to be someone to save her, to protect her, to coddle her. Most children grow out of this in a healthy, reasonable way, but Harumi's circumstances were anything but that. And you could tie that into how Lloyd was also forced to grow up fast... except in Harumi's case, she did not survive the crucible, she did not emerge 'stronger' for it.

Looking into her diary, Harumi idolizes Lord Garmadon, but when he becomes chill and more like the ninja who failed her, that's when Harumi becomes disappointed in him. This isn't the Garmadon SHE wants, she wants someone who she can rely and trust on, a Big Brother figure that makes her feel safe through any means possible.

That's why she brings back Garmadon as Lord Garmadon, while ignoring his human side, because Harumi explicitly hates that. She is someone who projects all of her hopes and needs and desires onto someone else, and when they inevitably fall short because they're human (for lack of a better term), Harumi feels personally insulted that she wasted all of her faith on them.

So Harumi's motives aren't just revenge, even if that does factor a lot into it; It's also a very unhealthy approach to life that involves a leader to take care of everything. A perfect savior, a Chosen One even, which pairs well with Lloyd being raised as one; A lot of his trauma and abandonment stems from his expected role. If Lloyd is the one who bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, Harumi is the one he is supposed to save, who expects him to handle it perfectly, and blames him when it doesn't turn out as it should.

It's a very childish and simplistic way of viewing the world, obviously. It also makes Harumi sympathetic to dictatorship and fascism, because there needs to be a strong, concentrated ruler who decides everything for everyone, and destroys the designated bad guys as they're supposed to. So with all that in mind, it does make sense that Harumi would pledge allegiance to the Overlord; He promises strength and security, he doesn't hesitate at all.

Harumi isn't just vendetta-fueled, because otherwise she'd be going after the Serpentine, just as much; If she just wanted revenge on the ninja, she wouldn't have bothered with Garmadon specifically, wouldn't have worshipped him so fanatically. It's about stability and structure for her, and she hates the ninja for not doing what they should've done long ago. Her being raised by the Emperor and Empress of Ninjago may have also influenced Harumi's beliefs; Her adopted parents being merely symbolic may have been a source of frustration, as like many kids, she'd buy into the fantasy of the noble king who has the divine right and can be trusted to handle everything. So experiencing the ineffectual, performative reality this role has become would've enraged Harumi.

Both the ninja AND the Emperor/Empress have failed her; Now what? Harumi isn't simply short-sighted revenge like Aspheera is, she actually IS ideological, now that I think about it. She has actual goals, a continuous endgame for how society should function afterwards. Harumi hates the ninja because they're so close and yet so far, they ARE in that position to end it all, but they just won't go far enough yet! She's like those people who get really salty over why Batman won't kill the Joker or anyone else, except this all real life stuff with real life ramifications.

Harumi is toxic, she's codependent, she latches onto people in the most unhealthy way, as we see with Lloyd. She's a worshipper who needs a God to follow, someone to tell Harumi what to do and how to live her life; Because she's still that scared child who lost her parents before she could grow independent of them, and needs someone else to provide that same sense of security.

Harumi does care about people in a twisted, misguided way; She helps that girl and her parents whom she finds uncomfortably familiar. But conceptually, I think it does make sense that in Crystalized, Harumi continues to latch onto someone like the Overlord, and continues to resort to these extreme measures for safety. She might let go of the rage, but Harumi is still scared and desperate for a way to resolve the strife and conflict perfectly, which is where the Overlord steps in.

Her actual arc, in practice, could've been handled better though; In particular, it'd have been nice to see Harumi realize that the very idea of worshipping an idol, even a literal god like the Overlord, is doomed to fail, and it's not just a matter of needing the right person in the position for it. The system itself is inherently broken; The dictatorship, the blind worship. There is no perfect solution/ending, Harumi's just gonna have to keep fighting and accept her fear. So in addition to realizing the Overlord doesn't fit the role either, Harumi realizes the role itself shouldn't exist either.

[purpleandstarlight]

Dadbastianweek 2023 day 2: Identity

Demons, you will understand, are fickle creatures. They are nothing, but they're also anything you can think of. While naturally malicious, they can also be as sweet as honey if that's what you desire. A demon's job is granting people's wishes after all - for a price. The highest price of all - your immortal soul, your place in Heaven. But why would someone give you their best if you won't promise the same to them?

His Young Master knew that, but -while he still demanded too much of him, and used his inhuman skills for his own benefit every day- he never requested any kind of coddling from the demon. Wich was quite peculiar, to say the least. The butler found himself musing about this during an unusually peaceful moment at the Manor. Bardroy had -surprisingly- not set anything on fire yet, and Mei-Rin and Finnian had caused no trouble either. That gave him some anxiety, but he was busy preparing the house for important guests at the moment, so he paid it no mind and hoped that those three useless idiots had finally grown a braincell.

When he first met the little Lord, he was little more than he was a Lord (though he hadn't grown much in size since then). He was a frail child who had seen too much for his human mind to take. He was crouched into himself, in search of some kind of protection, eyes wide and full of tears as he looked around in shock while the demon dangled his dead brother's corpse right in front of him. He had officially lost any caretaker he had, his older sibling (who had always defended and protected him before his death) now an empty shell with no soul, his parents killed and burned to ash a month before that. It would have made sense for the child to wish for some familial affection. However, as soon as their contract had officially been formed, he'd shown no hint of desire for a familiar figure. Mayhaps he was just hiding it like he hid everything else, if the way he clinged to Mr.Tanaka like a man lost at sea would cling to a lifeboat during their first meeting since his tenth birthday was of any proof, but then again, the demon noticed, himself and his Sebastian persona weren't all that different. While he did have to hold his tongue a lot of the time, and his body wasn't his preferred form (though the decision he had to make himself look like the child's own father amused him enough to ignore it), he was still free to tease his master and show some of the more awful sides of him without having to keep up a sickeningly sweet act. While the idea of making someone grow fond of you only to be the one to kill them later on was quite humorous, the Demon found himself liking the way he didn't have to hide his true nature for the entirety of the contract.

Sebastian was everything his Young Master could wish for - A reliable asset against his enemies, a skilled butler who could do anything you needed him to do flawlessly, someone who would take care of his master's needs without ever abandoning him for the rest of his human life. But at the same time, Sebastian was also himself, a centuries old demon who toyed with people and emotionally tortured them just for fun. He didn't need to make up a completely new identity - his Young Master didn't want his future assassin to pretend to care for him.

Maybe that was the point.

The Phantomhive needed someone he could call an enemy right away - without the weird plot twists of "innocent person revealed to be a twisted serial killer" or "suspicious person turned out to be innocent" that human beings often brought to the table. He needed someone he could blame and turn his rage on without feeling guilty about it - and who better than a Demon straight from hell with the intent of eating your soul to do just that?

"How interesting..." mused the butler clad in black, delighted at his new discovery.

That was when a loud boom filled the house, followed by three very familiar shouts.

Figures. Peace was never meant to last long at the Phantomhive manor.

[six-of-brides]

Vale: The King Of Pain

@x0-emoidiot-x0

Prophet

"'I mean, It's not like you care about this group anyways."

"You are the one that lead the teams to their deaths, spare me your criticism."

These past few weeks have been an absolute disaster. We’ve had multiple small battles in the past two weeks, five if I’m not mistaken, and we’ve lost every single one. We’ve had no time for training because we just keep getting ambushed. It’s been a constant stream of burying the dead and then running away because of another ambush. We’re barely surviving and no one knows how they keep finding us.

"Everyone, please just shut up!" Mourner says. "You'll wake up Mystic!"

Mystic is currently sound asleep on Mourner's lap. He had another grand mal today and we're trying to let him rest as much as possible. Mourner is playing with Mystic's hair as he sleeps.

"You two are so adorable…and so fucking clueless, I swear to god." I mutter.

"Bitch, that idiot can sleep through everything, stop trying to coddle him!"

Destroyer and I hold onto Mourner so he doesn't attack Deviant.

We've been here all night. I’ve been trying to plan out a strategy to at least protect us if we get attacked again. I have ideas for what might work, but Deviant doesn’t agree with me. 

"We need to plan-" I begin saying.

"What's the point?! All of your ideas are stupid and useless, anyways."

Me, Deviant, Mourner, Mystic, and Destroyer are in Deviant’s tent right now, just trying to figure something out, anything that will help us make it out alive if we get attacked again. 

"Excuse me." I say for what has to be the 15th time since I crawled into this wretched bedroom.

After vomiting my guts out, I crawl back in, and my stomach feels sick again.

"Why does this always happen when I'm near him?"

We can’t afford to lose anyone else, we’re already on our last limb here and honestly we’re just lucky to still be able to keep going. But I know that our luck will run out if this keeps up.

At the moment, I’m just trying to get Deviant to listen to me. He keeps shooting down every idea I have. And of course he’s not at a loss for cruel insults. The entire time I’ve been here, begging for him to at least give me suggestions on what we can do to prevent more casualties, he’s just made fun of me for being so naive and blamed me for all of our shortcomings.

"Deviant, despite what you may wish, you are not the leader, so could you please listen to Prophet and what he has to say?"

"His ideas-" 

All of Deviant’s insults and comments during arguments will include the most personal jabs he can come up with, and while after years of hearing them from my parents before knowing Deviant means they don’t hurt me as much, they might absolutely shatter anyone else, so I’m trying to take all of it before he says these sorts of things to them too.

"Maybe they wouldn't sound so idiotic if you just listened to them." Destroyer says

"He was stupid to make you second in command. I should have your position. I don't crume into a ball when I hear someone clap. He shouldnt lead us. He's a soft minded idiot."

He makes comments like this all the time, but never in front of other people. He’s never humiliated me like this before. And I’ve fucking had it.

I know I need to try to keep a cool head with him, even though keeping cool isn’t something I’m good with in the first place. 

"Deviant, if you don't like Me so much, then find another team."

Knowing myself, I could absolutely snap any second now, so it’s best that I don’t stand around outside and potentially make a spectacle of myself if that does happen. So I go into my own tent. As soon as I’m there, I practically collapse into a pathetic pile of anguish. Why does he keep trying to get me to step down? 

"What does he want with this team anyways? He never has any ideas, he just shoots down mine."

Time and time again, he always makes sure I know that he’s better than me in every way. Despite the fact that my power literally involves predicting the future, he always seems to be right. I guess he just knows how to fuck with me like that. 

"Or maybe I’m not as powerful as I thought."

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised, he’s made me question my sanity, my memory, and my ability to lead, so why would my own power be any exception to what he wants to make me second-guess?

I know he wants to destroy me, and at this point, it’s working. He’s ruined almost everything for me, and I feel like I constantly have to look to him for reassurance over everyone else despite the fact that I know damn well that all he’ll do is put me down. 

"So why do I keep looking for his approval? Why aren't the other's approval enough?"

He's the oldest.

"Are you guys happy that you taught me to always obey my elders?" I speak, hoping that my parents can hear.

If I looked to Destroyer, Mystic, or Mourner for that same reassurance, I would get it. And if they saw something wrong, they would just tell me without insulting me. But what would happen then is that Deviant would go after them too. That’s just how he is. 

"You have to protect your friends. He'll attack them. If he tries to get after Mourner or Mystic, the other will rip him to shreds."

And Destroyer? He's never been good around Deviant.

If that’s truly his goal here, then he’s certainly achieved it. He’s made me completely miserable and I would rather step down as a leader and go off into the desert on my own than continue to live with his foot on my throat at all times. 

Maybe I’ll go back out and at least try to talk to Destroyer again. Other than Deviant, he’s the first I go to for everything related to this kind of thing. He’s helped me a lot with strategies because he knows a lot of the inside secrets relating to FEAR that can help us, which is why he steps up when I need help. That is, when we can get Deviant out of the way.

But I’m scared that Deviant will still be there. He’s probably waiting for me to come out so he can make some nasty comment about how I’ll never be good enough to lead the Wild Ones. I’m not ready for that. Until I can find either the courage to potentially face Deviant or the confidence in my belief that he went away to torment someone else, I will be staying right here…

Destroyer

God fucking damnit, what am I supposed to do now? Deviant made a nasty comment about Prophet. Again. I take it that this is a common thing for him to do. 

“Deviant..” Mourner says, rubbing his eyes. Mystic is still sleeping like a baby.

“What? Can’t take a little criticism, can he?”

“What you did was cruel. If you have a problem with his ideas, fine. But maybe share those opinions respectfully.”

I’m sick of it. I hate seeing Deviant repeatedly get away with the things he says to everyone else here, especially Prophet.

Since I’ve met Deviant and seen him arguing with people, I’ve seen him make fun of every single trauma the people here have gone through. Prophet was raised to believe that he would never be good enough, and not a moment goes by where Deviant doesn’t toy around with Prophet’s internalization of that belief. 

“You know what he’s been through. You know that it’s hard to let go of beliefs that have been hammered into him so thoroughly. You don’t attack someone who has that history in the way you just did.” Mourner says. He is so calm about it.

That’s the one I see the most, and it really pains me to see, because I think Prophet is a great leader, he’s doing the best he can, which is pretty damn good, and he would be more confident in that if Deviant would stop making his childhood trauma seem like some funny ongoing joke.

I’ve seen him make some particularly low blows at Mourner and Mystic’s past that also hurt a lot to hear, because the things he pokes at are very obviously things that they’re very sensitive about. Mourner has had loved ones killed by FEAR, and I’ve heard Deviant go as far as to insinuate that it was Mourner’s fault that their deaths took place. Meanwhile Mystic’s parents abandoned him when he was very young because he’s epileptic.

“And why are you coddling Mystic? It’s like you’re in love with him? You know his ‘disability’-”

He doesnt get to finish his sentence before Mourner is hitting him.

“You want to talk like that do you? Try to say that it’s his fault?”

I pull Mourner off of Deviant before I have a murder to answer for.

“Deviant, go to your tent, and don’t return until you can find some human decency. I won’t even dignify a response. Go.”

He does as I say/

Knowing how Deviant is towards all of them makes me try to avoid interacting with him as much as possible. I don’t know what he knows about what I faced at the hands of my ex, and quite frankly, I don’t want to find out. I just want to be able to heal in peace without the wounds being reopened, and if I can do that by avoiding any contact with Deviant, then I will.

Lately, however, avoiding direct contact has been getting a lot harder. And after he insulted Prophet to the point that he retreated to his tent today, I think some form of direct conversation is going to be inevitable. But first, I need to talk to Prophet and see how he wants to go about that.

Obviously Prophet isn’t going to be too keen on the idea of talking to a guy who probably just drove him to tears, so I want to know if he wants us to talk to him, and if so what he wants us to say. So, I’m going to his tent now to ask him and see if I can at least be of some form of comfort to Prophet at the moment.

Walking into his tent, I find him laying on the ground. I can hear him crying, and I’m already stumped on what the right words to make him feel any better would be. So, I just kneel by his side.

"Hey man. Are you okay?"

Of course he’s not okay, you fucking bozo I think to myself as soon as the words leave my mouth.

Prophet tries to insist that he’s fine, but I know damn well that he’s lying. Regardless, I’m not about to pry the truth out of him, because I already know it. I just need to know if he wants us to say anything.

“Do you want us to say anything to him? Mourner already tried to murder him.”

He just shakes his head before saying that he doesn’t want him to attack us. 

Honestly I can’t even argue with that, as much as I’d love to be able to get back at Deviant for hurting Prophet, it would just hurt me more in the process and Deviant would walk away unscathed because he’s unfortunately just like that.

Clearly I’m not going to be able to just walk up to Deviant and beat his ass yet, so in the meantime, I start making fun of Deviant a bit. 

“Remember when he started freaking out while Mourner and Mystic started describing every single broken bone they had suffered?”

Prophet falls top the ground in laughter.

“Oh my god, yes!”

Sure enough, the more I make fun of Deviant, the more of a smile I see forming on Prophet’s face and the less tears I see falling from his eyes. Now that I’ve calmed him down enough that he’s laughing, I start trying to brainstorm how we could actually confront Deviant. 

"How are we going to talk with him about this?" 

He may be an asshole but he’s not stupid, so using reasoning and saying that his ass could be left behind at any time could probably get to him more than any bit of pleading him to stop could actually do.

"He can probably be reasoned with. I have to believe that he can be reasoned with."

"That would require him to have a soul. Which he clearly doesn't."

We decide that we’re going to go and confront him now rather than wait any longer. So, we stand up and go outside, going over what we’re going to tell him and who’s going to say it. 

Then we look around to see where he is. We can’t see where exactly he is, which is never a good sign.

"Ummmm…" Prophet starts to shake.

"I have a very bad feeling about this.

Prophet and I start looking around and asking anyone around us if they’ve seen Deviant around. One person finally says that they saw him going into one of the tents. When we ask which one, they point to Mystic’s tent. Right away, I know that he has no good reason to be in there, especially since Mystic just had a grand mal seizure and should be asleep right now.

We look in and automatically find Deviant prodding Mourner. I can see in Mourner’s eyes that he’s absolutely enraged but is trying not to snap, probably because he doesn’t want to wake up Mystic, who is asleep with his head in Mourner’s lap. 

I can tell that it’s going to get very ugly for Deviant soon if he doesn’t get out of there. I swear, this guy never learns. 

When Mourner refuses to answer Deviant’s questions, Deviant shrugs it off and claims that if Mourner won’t give him answers that Mystic will. He then grabs Mystic and starts shaking him in a clear attempt to wake him up. At that exact moment, Prophet and I both glance at each other, knowing that Deviant screwed up big time.

Without making a sound, Mourner grabs Deviant by the neck and squeezes his throat until Deviant begs for mercy, promising to knock it off. This leads to Mourner dropping Deviant and kicking him in the back as Deviant crawls away. 

When Deviant crawls in our direction, he asks what we’re doing here. That’s when Prophet takes a deep breath and says that we need to talk. Deviant clearly isn’t going to be enthusiastic about this, but he knows that it’s in his best interest right now, considering that it’s pretty much either that or he sticks around and continues to waste his life trying to get answers out of Mourner, which will probably lead to him getting beaten to death before it leads to him getting any real information.

Once the three of us are outside once again, Deviant stands up and brushes the sand off of his jacket before asking what we need to talk about. Prophet looks too scared to really say anything, so I think it over for a second before I tell him. “Listen, I get that you were born without a heart, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it out on everyone else. Stop being an asshole.”

He’s trying to come up with something to say to me that will hurt me to hear, I can see it on his face, so, I just tune out the words coming from his mouth. I’ve learned to tune words out by now so they can’t hurt me, and this is no different.

He’s getting upset that I’m not reacting, and while I’m glad that he’s not experiencing the pleasure of getting a reaction from me, I also know that I should probably step back before he gets in my face. I know damn well him getting too in my face will leave me crying on the ground, and I cannot give him that satisfaction.

Eventually, he asks what’s going to happen if he doesn’t stop acting the way he does. I can tell from the smug look on his face that he thinks we’re not going to say anything. That’s why it brings me even more joy to see that stupid smirk disappear when I say that his failure to comply with what I’m saying now will result in him being left alone in the desert for the vultures to devour, reminding him that no one is surviving on their own out here.

From the look on his face, I can tell that it’s probably been a long time since anyone’s spoken to him like this. For all I know, he’s never been talked down to at all, and this is the first time he’s been confronted in his life. That could very well be the case, given the absolute shock he’s expressing over being confronted one time. 

I can tell that Deviant is trying to come up with something to say about me, so I just turn away before he can say anything. Prophet then does the same, and we walk back to his tent together. 

Hopefully he backs off for now, knowing that he’s not immune to the criticism he hurls at us nonstop. He probably won’t, but it’s nice to know that we can get a reaction out of him too at the very least. Maybe now, Prophet and I can actually focus on work that will benefit us instead of having to worry about one asshole weighing us down constantly.

Deviant hasn’t come after us, so that’s a good sign, but for now, I’m staying right here so if he tries to come for Prophet, I’m here with him. If he tries to go for Mourner and Mystic, they both have each other, and either one of them could see to it that Deviant is a mangled pulp within seconds under the right conditions. So for now, I’m not really worried about Deviant, but I am worried about if he’ll ever actually stop trying to destroy us…

Mourner

My entire body is trembling with rage. I keep trying to breathe and tell myself that I don’t have any reason to be angry, but then I realize that I’m lying to myself. How dare Deviant think he can just come in here and treat Mystic and I like that? Our relationship is none of his business, he is not entitled to know shit about either of our sexualities. 

"And Mystic's straight anyways, how would that piece of info do anything for him?"

On top of that, he decided that it would be okay for him to try and shake Mystic awake. He said that if I didn’t answer his questions that Mystic would. Meanwhile Mystic is getting some much needed rest and doesn’t need some idiot trying to wake him up to ask intrusive questions. So, I grabbed him by the throat and almost strangled him. He was right where I wanted him, his throat was in the palm of my hand, if I could have only squeezed a little harder…

Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Yes, I hate Deviant, but am I really on the level where I want him dead? 

"Get off of me! Get away! Oww! What the hell did I do this time!"

It takes me a while to realize that Mystic is talking in his sleep.

"Hey, Mystic." I lightly shake him, which seems to do the trick.

"What? Where am I? Who-"

"Shhhh, Mystic. It's just me.

"Oh thank god." He tries to gwt up, bur it takes him a whike.

"Why is everything still sore?"

"Isnt it always like that?"

"Goid point, but it still isnt fun." He looks at me. "There's aomethinh on your mind. What is it?"

"Do you want Deviant killed?"

He bursts out laughting, even though it clearly hurts.

On one hand, he’s a nightmare for Prophet, Destroyer, Mystic, and I to deal with. On the other hand, most people here adore him and if we got rid of him by any means, they would be upset with us and that would screw everything up. 

"Umm.. yes? Is that even a question?"

"I.. might have almost strangled him to death."

"You what?!" He says with the biggezt grin on his face.

"Almost

I didn’t wind up stranging Deviant, he begged me for mercy and I was dumb enough to take pity on him, because for a split second I thought to myself that maybe he would change. But as soon as I let him go, I regretted it. 

"For a split second, I wondered if maybe he could change his behavior. In any case, I don't think he's gonna mess with us again anytime soon."

Now I just want to find him wherever he is and beat the living shit out of him. But that would make me the bad guy, wouldn’t it?

Mystic hugs me. "God, you're amazing." 

It feels nice.

"He tried to get at you."

"Really?"

There’s very few things I truly hate more than Deviant and the anger he makes me feel. I don’t even think I’m that justified in hating him as much as I do, but when he goes after Mystic like that, I just burn up from the inside.

I nod my head. "Yeah. He was asking some… very personal questions. I wouldn't answer, so he started shaking you.

I’ve never felt so violently angry over anything until he did that. And the thoughts just won’t go away.

"Was there a time that he wasnt such a jerk?"

"Why are you asking me?" Mystic says.

"You were here for a month before I was."

I’d do anything if it meant he would be out of our lives once and for all, but there’s nothing at all I can do except sit and wait for his downfall to happen.

"No. No, he was always like this."

Suddenly through the cracks of the tent, I see him stumble by. I can’t even control my urge to get up and go outside just to see what he’s doing. When I go out, I see him stumbling around still. His throat is black and blue. With that, I laugh at him. I feel so guilty for expressing this amount of schadenfreude, but he deserves it for how he’s acted today.

When he hears me laughing, he redirects his stumble over to me and looks at me with that stupid smirk on his face, indicating that he has something dumb to say. 

"What are you gonna do, bitch? Try and attavk Mystic again?"

"And if I do? What, like I couldn't destroy your little boyfriend right now?"

"We. Are. Not. Romantically. Involved."

I spit directly on his face. He looks shocked that I would dare to do that. 

“Why don’t you just go back in your tent? I was out here minding my own business, and besides, I’m sure your boyfriend misses you.” 

He laughs at his own crude statement, and with that, I just take my leg and kick him in the back of the knees, causing him to fall face first onto the ground. Before he can get back up, I go back inside.

"Say one more word, and I. Will. End. You."

He leaves, but not for long enough.

When I hear footsteps passing the tent, I hold my breath, hoping that he doesn’t decide to come back in. My heart skips a beat when I see him looking in. Thankfully though, he keeps moving. 

"Dont. You. Even. Fucking. Dare."

"Soooo protective over your boyfriend, huh? Can't have anything bad happen to him, can we?"

I have fucking had it with him and I hope he eventually decides to leave and never come back. He gives us all a bad name and I am ashamed to say that he is one of us.

Unfortunately, I still have to work with him at the end of the day. No matter how much I hate him, no matter how hard he makes things for me, he’s still one of the leaders, and I still have to figure out how to work around every single setback he causes. I’m sick of it, but there’s nothing I can do to make it stop. Nothing I say or do will ever change the nightmare he’s created for us. 

"Mystic, do you ever wonder what life would be like if just one tiny thing changed?"

"Like the Butterfly Effect?"

"Yeah. Exactly."

"I kind of try not to. Every scenario is a happier existence than what I have now, and it just makes me sad."

"I get that."

I know that in an hour or so I’ll probably have to leave this area in order to try to talk things out with everyone else so we can figure out how to keep everything working right. I don’t want to have any discussions today, I just want to stay here with Mystic, but unfortunately if we don’t work constantly, we lose. 

"Mystic, do you-" I'm interrupted with a snore. I look down, and Mystic is asleep on my shoulder.

Sometimes I really get tired of fighting all the time, but I know that if I ever want to live my life properly, I have to fight. At the end of the day, I have to remind myself why I still continue to fight. I will fight until the day I die to avenge the souls of my mother and of Mariah, not to mention to protect the right to my identity. 

As far as discussing things with the rest of the group goes today, I really don’t want to wake Mystic up. I don’t want to bother him. But I know that if I don’t wake him up that someone else will, and that someone could wind up being Deviant. I don’t want to take that risk, because I know that if Deviant does that, he’ll seriously upset Mystic however he can.

"Mystic? Mystic, come on. Mystic, let's go back to my tent."

"Hm? What?" He says, opening his eyes.

"Come on, I don't want Deviant trying to mess with you again."

He doesn’t say anything, he just grabs my hand and leans on me. My heart flutters and I go completely speechless. He’s never done this before, and I can tell that he’s still tired, so maybe he’s just trying to lean on me so he doesn’t fall, but my god I don’t know what to do.

"Mystic, Deviant might say something."

"Let him talk."

After a moment of him holding onto my hand, I decide to just let him keep holding onto me. If Deviant has anything to say about it, I’ll break his nose. So, I continue leading Mystic to Prophet’s tent, where we agreed to meet so we could talk about battle strategies in the near future. 

We go inside and right away, I see the look in Deviant’s eyes. He wants to say something, anything that will embarrass both of us. So I look right back at him. 

"Not today, Satan." I whisper.

I have no clue what my face looks like right now, but I’m trying to send a message to him that will inform him that if he messes with us, he’s getting knocked out.

Surprisingly, he stays silent. He continues to stare at us, but he doesn’t say a single word.

"Glad everyone could make it." Prophet says.

"Where's Destroyer?" Mystic asks, slurring his speech a little.

"Jesus Christ, have you been drinking?" Deviant asks, giving both of us a look. Honestly I don’t care if he stares at us, he can stare all he wants, but he if says anything, that is when I will go after him again.

"No, just tired."

As we start speaking, Mystic and I continue holding onto each other, and thankfully no one says a word about it. The only one who seems even remotely concerned is Deviant, who continues to shoot us antagonistic glares. I just glare right back at him.

When we finish talking, Mystic and I go back, and Deviant follows us. I’m trying to ignore him, but he seems to be making that difficult on purpose. We go inside, and he stays out there, staring at us. I am trying my best to pretend he isn’t there, but it’s nearly impossible.

Eventually, Mystic notices that he’s out there, and it starts feeling like the two of us are both facing off with Deviant. None of us are saying anything, but there’s clearly a lot being exchanged from glances alone. 

"Come on, Mystic. Just ihnore him, he'll go away." He's still wrapped in my arms.

"It's hard to ignore him when I feel like Im in a horror movie!"

I laugh.

One wrong move and I will wind up fighting Deviant again. As he continues to stare at us, I find him getting harder and harder to ignore. I do not want to get in another altercation with him, but I feel as if I don’t have a choice…

Mystic

I’ve been basically attached to Mourner all day. All I want to do is go back to sleep, I’m still tired, but Deviant keeps trying to fuck with us. He keeps staring at us through the cracks of the tent. 

“Do you think you could snap his blood vessels now? I’d really appreciate that right now.” Mourner says, head resting on top of mine.

“Too. Tired.” I mumble. My powers go haywire when I’m not well rested.

“What kind of a friend are you?” I know he’s joking, but it takes me a moment to settle down.

He’s making me so mad, all I want to do is go back to sleep and he can’t even let me have that. He keeps harassing Mourner and I relentlessly and no matter what either of us do, he never stops.

“Well, he’s really just doing this to get a rise from us.” Mourner says.

“He’s doing a pretty damn good job of it.”

“That’s my point. Just ignore him, and he’ll leave us alone.”

So we just stay wrapped in each other’s arms. It feels nice. Really nice.

After a few minutes of silence, we hear footsteps moving away from the tent. Both of us have our eyes still fixed on the cracks of the tent, looking for any sign that he’s still there. When we find nothing, he starts talking to me.

I don’t really know what Deviant was doing while I was asleep, but clearly Mourner is infuriated by it. He’s red in the face and his tone is different than usual. Part of me wants to ask what’s wrong, but I don’t want to annoy him more. Then he’ll leave and I don’t think I can handle that right now.

“What happened?

For a moment he goes silent, and my head is completely flooded with anxiety. Did I make him angry? Is he annoyed with me? He’s definitely not acting like himself and it’s freaking me out. He’s usually not an angry person, so why is he so angry right now? I keep trying to run through every interaction with him lately, looking for some way I could have upset him that would explain why he’s so upset.

“He… started verbally insulting you. Trying to say that we were coddling you, then he said that the epilepsy was your fault..”

As Mourner continues rambling about Deviant, I get just as angry.

“And then he tried to say that we were… romantically involved.”

Oh god, I can feel my cheeks turning bright red. “What?”

“Yeah. Like, as if there was something wrong with that.”

“Aren’t me and him the only straight people on the team?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if he actively dorsn’t like the queer community, or he’s just… trying to tease us.”

“He’s never really been ‘one’ with the group, has he?”

“Yeah.”

We start bringing up all the instances we’ve seen him almost killed by our own people because he was a little too close to FEAR during battle. Rumor has it that he’s even been seen conversing with them. 

It’s scary to think about, because that honestly does sound like something he would do. I’d love to believe he wouldn’t stoop that low, but we all know that he would. Any time that someone tries to humanize him and think that he wouldn’t do some disgusting action, he goes ahead and does it. When Destroyer first showed up, we all hoped that he wouldn’t harass Destroyer because it was so obvious that he had been through horrific trauma. We all told ourselves that Deviant wouldn’t stoop that low, but he did. Within days, he was constantly prodding Destroyer and going out of his way to trigger him.

I know that Mourner and I are making fun of Deviant as a way to make light of everything he puts us through, but it gets scary sometimes because we all know that Deviant would absolutely do everything we speculate him of doing. He just keeps getting worse and he answers to no one, so no one can stop him without killing him and we all know how that would go.

“I honestly want to see him dead.” I mumble into Mourner’s chest.

“You shouldn’t say that about another fighter. We need all hands on deck if we want to defeat these bastards.”

“No one knows if he’s even one of us. And don’t act like you don’t hate his guts.”

To be fully honest, at this point I think that the four of us at least all want him dead because he’s such a danger to us. He ruins everything and at this point I would rather see him die than accept that he’ll continue to be a part of us.

“While you were asleep, after… everything else, he, umm… he tried to say other things, and.. I just lost it.”

“What does that mean?”

“I put him in a chokehold. I let him go.”

I’m in shock. While I know that we’d all love to do that with Deviant, that’s the first I’ve ever heard of anyone actually doing it, let alone Mourner, who’s usually super relaxed.

For the rest of our conversation, I can barely focus because I’m still stuck on the fact that Mourner actually did that for me of all people. He actually snapped because Deviant started harassing me. I would never expect Mourner to snap like that, let alone to protect me.

The more I think about it though, Mourner has always been really protective over me. I mean I’ve always been protective over him too. Whenever anything happens during a battle, Mourner is the first person I look for to make sure he’s okay.

“You know you really didn’t have to do that.”

“You’re my best friend. Of course I’m going to protect you.”

Everyone else knows this too. I guess Mourner and I are just closer than everyone else. But that doesn’t make sense because we’re all pretty close out here, we don’t have much of a choice given our scenario.

He yawns. “God, I’m tired. If he tries to bother you, just wake me up.”

“Will do.” I say, but he’s asleep by that point.

Mourner has always been my best friend since the moment I met him out here. Ever since we became friends, we were inseparable. And while I’m close with Prophet and Destroyer too, my bond with them is nothing like my bond with Mourner. I can’t really describe it other than saying that I don’t see myself in the future without Mourner, no matter what the circumstance may be. 

I think I’d even go as far as to say I’d want to marry him…but I’m not into guys like that…right? I don’t think I am at least. I’ve never put any actual thought into my sexuality until now. I spent the entirety of my life being told that it was a dirty and evil thing, especially if you felt that attraction towards someone of the same gender. If you lived in the city, they could kill you if they found out about that. At the very least, if they found out, life as you knew it was over.

Not to mention that in the asylum, there were some people sent there because their families found out that they had lovers of the same gender. I always felt so much anger and fear for them. And for the longest time, I’ve always figured it was just because they were in the same situation I was just because of who they loved.

But if I do actually like guys…I don’t like Mourner, do I? I mean, my bond with him is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced with anyone else. I don’t feel the way I do about Mourner towards anyone else I’ve ever met. He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, the most amazing person I’d ever met, and I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him in my life. And I would absolutely marry him if he asked.

What the hell do I even do about these… feelings? I’m not going to tell him, he would never think of me that same way, he would just be disgusted and not want anything to do with me anymore. My heart sinks just thinking about that. I don’t think I could live without him, he’s my everything. I’d do anything to make him happy, and that’s going to mean not telling him that I’m into him.

My god this night has been a disaster. I’m going to feel like such a fake pretending that I’m not in love with Mourner the way I am. It feels weird, we’ve been close for years and just one confession could ruin that. I don’t know how I’m going to stay quiet, but it looks like I’m going to need to learn now…

[userautumn]

Hope this scratches the itch!

"Eddie, I'm fine."

"I didn't say you weren't fine, I said you had soot under your eyes. Now stop moving. You're worse than Christopher when he gets his shots."

Eddie turns Buck's face toward the dying sunlight, twisting his chin this way and that so he can see the extent of the smear. Were he slightly more Buck's Platonic Best Friend and slightly less Hopelessly in Love, he would let him walk around with soot on his face until Buck inevitably figured out he was wearing their last call on his skin. But Eddie is nothing if not a bleeding heart romantic -- nothing if not so deeply, completely, and pathetically in love with him that it makes him sick. So instead of doing that, he's doing this.

Buck sighs loudly, full of exaggerated exasperation, but he stops moving, opting instead to lean against the truck so he can let Eddie fuss.

Good. He should know by now: resistance is futile.

Eddie licks his thumb and glides the pad of it across the swell of Buck's cheekbone. He wonders what it says about them that Buck doesn't wince at the slick feeling of his saliva, that Eddie didn't even think hey, he might think this is gross before he did it. But then, there have been a lot of moments like that between them lately. So many that Eddie has lost count -- moments that should give them pause, make them question, but haven't.

It's been almost a year since Buck died. Eddie thought the impulse to hold him, touch him, and extra gentle with all his fragile softness would go away once Buck recovered, but it never did. If anything, that desire increased ten-fold. He's always wanted to protect Buck, always wanted to put himself between Buck and harm's way in order to keep him safe, but now he finds himself craving and acting upon the small stuff too. Now, he fluffs the throw pillows on Buck's side of the couch so they're soft before he sits down. Now, he throws Buck's laundry in with his own and makes sure his favorite cup is clean when he comes over. Now, apparently, he uses his thumbs and his spit to wipe the soot from underneath his eyes.

What's more is that Buck lets him. Buck, who is always the one to throw himself into danger, to light himself on fire to keep others warm, lets Eddie fuss over him. It feels like it means something, though what that could be, Eddie isn't sure. He knows what he wants it to mean, but wanting something and actually having it are two different things. He does wonder though, because sometimes, when he looks at Buck, he thinks he's not alone in this. He thinks that, instead of pining helplessly for someone who doesn't want him back, that they might just be standing on the precipice of something together.

But he's never sure.

Even now, as Buck watches him with a faint trace of amusement in his eyes, looking safe and happy and pleased underneath it all, Eddie isn't sure.

One day, he'd like to be.

"You're a mother hen." Buck's voice is soft, teasing. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"You're forgetting I have sisters."

"So, what, does that mean you're like my brother?"

A beat passes.

Eddie looks Buck.

Buck looks at him.

They both cringe at the same time.

Eddie doesn't know how to define his relationship with Buck but brothers they most definitely are not.

Ew.

"What it means," Eddie says pointedly, "is that I learned to coddle. Mom was busy and Dad wasn't home. No one else was going to do it."

Buck's mouth spreads into a wide, slow smile. "You're soft."

Once upon a time, Eddie would have taken those words as a challenge to prove his own masculinity. Now, he just shrugs.

"I am. And I like taking care of people. You're people. That means I take care of you."

There's more to it than that, of course. Eddie would fight God and win just to be able to take care of Buck, but Buck doesn't need to know all that. Not right now.

Eddie drags his thumb over the warm skin of Buck's face, blunt fingernails careful around his water line. He's got beautiful eyes. Everything about him is beautiful, but when the golden hour haze hits his face and his skin is warm and his eyes are illuminated, he looks like something out of a painting.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

He doesn't mean to say it, and he's not sure when his brain-to-mouth filter went on vacation and decided to make his inside thoughts outside thoughts but he doesn't take it back. It's true. Buck is gorgeous and Eddie's heart hurts with how badly he wants him.

Buck's cheeks go pink, his eyes widening. "Oh."

"Oh?" Eddie teases.

"Oh," Buck confirms. But his face softens like melted butter, his cheeks flushing even more. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Hey!" Chimney's voice punches through the air like a fist, shattering the bubble they've created around them. "If you two are done making mooney eyes at each other, it's time to roll out!"

Mooney-eyes? Eddie is going to kill him.

But he's not wrong. They have to leave because technically, they're still at work and technically, Eddie can't spend all day smothering Buck with affection, so he finishes wiping the soot away and takes a half-step back. The forced distance feels like a bucket of cold water dumped over his head.

Right. Back to the real world.

"There you go," he says, "Right as rain."

"Thanks," Buck murmurs.

He still looks soft and open and sweet and Eddie wants nothing more than to swoop in and kiss him, drag his hands through Buck's hair and taste him, finally fucking taste him. The way Buck is looking at him, Eddie thinks he would let him. He almost knows it.

Buck opens his mouth as if to say something, his body swaying closer. He looks beautiful and hungry and desperate and Eddie wants. But then someone honks the horn, the moment passes, and Buck's mouth closes with a snap. He shakes his head like he's physically clearing his thoughts, clears his throat, and nods over his shoulder.

"Come on. We should head back."

Eddie's heart hammers in his chest. He's surprised Buck can't hear it.

"Lead the way."

Buck smiles, small and sweet, and heads back to the truck, and Eddie aches, and aches, and aches.

Eddie using his thumbs to help Buck brush the off soot from under his eyes is living rent free in my head now

[slasherhaven]

If you have time and if it hasn't been done before, maybe slashers with a blind s/o? :O

The Slashers with a Blind S/O:

Thomas Hewitt

Main form of communication is touch. It’s certainly difficult at first, since Tommy isn’t much of a talker and you can’t see his nonverbal gestures, and he wouldn’t even think about touching you and making you uncomfortable. It had been your idea, holding out your hands and telling him to touch them in certain ways to communicate. Eventually it just started to become natural for you both, learning how to understand each other. He swears that you can just sense when he’s in a bad mood, he doesn’t even need to let you know. You both work well together.

Letting you touch his face for the first time. He has to admit that you being blind has helped him relax a little, he’s been able to remove his mask while he’s with you since you couldn’t see the scarring that he was so insecure about. You obviously didn’t care about what he looked like and had never even asked, but you had felt the mask and asked about that. Eventually he decided that you were going to end up feeling the scars one way or another, so why not now? He was nearly tearing up as you gently touched the scarring on his face, getting used to the feeling and trying to figure out what could have caused it. He relaxed when you smiled, leaning in to give him a light kiss.

Very protective and worries about you. Oh God this house is not exactly safe for your average person, never mind somebody who can’t see the ever changing hazards. He knows you’re not incapable, and he would never claim you were, but he worries so much about you tripping or cutting yourself on a new obstacle. Whenever he’s around, he’s always watching you like a hawk, and is by your side as much as he can be.

Michael Myers

Takes the mask off a lot earlier than he normally might. The mask isn’t just to hide his identity, everyone knows who he is, it’s more of a safety thing for him (even if he won’t admit that). So it’s still on quite a lot of the time, and you had questioned him about why he was wearing a mask when you were the only one in the house and you couldn’t see his face anyway. He didn’t answer. But without the added pressure of revealing his face to you, the mask comes off more than it might if you could see him.

Eventually starts to ‘announce’ himself. This man has snuck up on you more times than you can count, something purposely but most of the time by accident. For such a tall man, he moves absolutely silently. When he realises that his habit keeps making you jump, he starts to make you more aware of his presence. Shutting doors a little louder, making his footsteps a little heavier so you can hear them. It’s the little things that count.

Secretly very protective. Being stoic and not caring is to be expected from Michael but he does care about you, he wouldn’t be around if he didn’t. He already sees you as needing to be protected, so your blindness only adds to that. 

Jason Voorhees 

Communication can be a little hard. You’re blind, he’s mute. You can talk and he can hear you, but he can struggle with expressing things to you. But you become an expert and being able to read him just when he’s with you, being able to feel what he’s feeling or get the general idea of what’s going on. He uses a lot of touch to communicate but he nervous about doing so at first, worried about startling you or making you uncomfortable. It all gets easier as time goes by. 

Letting you touch his face for the first time. Jason wants you to know and understand everything, and you do for the most part. You know who he is, what he’s done, and why he’s done it, and you’ve stayed through all of that. The last thing he wants to be honest with is his deformities, so you know exactly who you’re in relationship with. It’s all very sweet and tender as you smile, caressing his cheeks. You adore him the way he is and you fell him that.

Brahms Heelshire 

Honestly, impressed by you. He and his parents had been unsure when you first arrived for the job, but you seemed confident in your ability to do the job and he had taken a liking to you. So you got the job. You go about your chores just like you were supposed too, you followed the rules perfectly, and that’s good enough for Brahms.

Likes to mess with you. You have lost count of how many times you had scolded Brahms for moving things around or purposely scaring you, his little pranks given away by his own giggling. But he always apologises, wrapping his arms around your waist and whispering apologies against your neck.

Letting you touch his face for the first time. You accepted Brahms happily, but were surprised when you touched his cheek for the first time and touched cool porcelain. You had accepted him for all he was, questioning the mask but moving on quickly. Eventually he removed the mask, all because he wanted a proper kiss, and he warned you about the burn scars. You just smiled, kissing both of his cheeks before kissing his lips. You didn’t care about some scars, you loved him. 

Bo Sinclair

Assumes you’re incapable of nearly everything. Whether he actually believes that you’re incapable or just says that to bother you, you’re not sure. Either way, you prove him wrong every day, he’s almost impressed. Almost. And he’s jokingly tell you that, but will never admit that he was wrong.

Likes to scare you. He will sometimes try to sneak up on you and surprise you, just getting a sadist enjoyment from watching you yelp and jump in shock. Other times he’s not as quiet as he thinks he is, always muttering to himself when you don’t get surprised, just telling him to try harder next time.

Is more able to be vulnerable around you? He feels like he can let his mask fall every now and again because he thinks you might not notice because you can’t see it. He often found himself looking at you, just fondly watching you without you catching him. He’ll never admit that to anyone though, not even to himself.

Vincent Sinclair 

Frets about you. Ambrose is a dangerous place and Vincent is so worried about you accidently getting hurt. He cleans up his workroom more than ever, making sure there are no sharp objects lefts out, nothing on the floor for you to trip other. It seems like he’s coddling you a bit but it’s just to ease his concerns and give him peace of mind, so just let him tidy up even if you’re not going to die just because he left some tools out on a table. He’ll slowly realise that and relax, don’t worry.

You can still admire his art. His heart skips a beat when you examine a small figurine he made, complimenting him for the intricate work and telling him how impressive it was. He focuses on creating more of those intricate figures so that you can enjoy his art.

He doesn’t worry about his mask so much. The two of you can actually eat your meals together because he doesn’t have the worry about revealing his face. You can always be by his side, even when the mask is off or needs some repairing. It just takes away some of his insecurity while you’re spending time together.

Letting you touch his face for the first time. He was so nervous to let you know exactly what his face looked like. You already knew that he had scarring and you knew why, you just hadn’t felt it before. But you caress and kiss his cheek, just to assure him that it doesn’t bother you in the slightest.

Lester Sinclair

Hates the idea of you wandering around Ambrose. The town is so dangerous and he knows that Bo isn’t going to do anything to make it any safer for you. Lester just frets about you, whether you’re blind or not he worries about you being in town.

Doesn’t underestimate you. Despite all his fretting, Lester doesn’t underestimate you because of your blindness, he knows you’re perfectly capable. You have proven that many times around the house. You won’t get any babying from Lester. You might actually get him forgetting about your blindness for a moment...but it’s okay.

Jokes that you can’t see how dirty he is. When he comes home from a hard day, covered in dirt and...roadkill? he jokes that at least you can’t see the grime. But you retort with ‘yeah but I can still smell it’, making you both laugh.

Bubba Sawyer 

Worries about you. The Sawyer household is chaotic and dangerous, with sharp objects randomly scattered around the house, and debris always moving around. Bubba is so worried about you getting hurt, he’s always following you around, watching over you and babbling his concerns.

But he’s constantly impressed. You navigate the house with ease once you get used to it. It’s like you’re aware of the chaos, always watching out for new debris and usually avoiding it. You’re surprisingly good at avoiding Nubbins and ChopTop running around, handling them both well. You fit right in at the house and Bubba loves you for it.

Billy Lenz

Gives him bad ideas. As soon as he realises his, his mind runs wild with thoughts of being elsewhere in the house without you noticing. If you could see him, maybe he could even be in the same room without you noticing if he was quiet enough! He even hints about it during his phone calls, it’s a little unsettling.

Loves to mess with you. Billy can be pretty playful and when he’s in a playful mood he often enjoys trying to scare you, but he’s not always as quiet as he thinks he is. You’ve sometimes even pretended to have been surprised by him, just to hear him laugh like that.

Asa Emory (The Collector) 

Doesn’t underestimate you too much. Asa isn’t an idiot, he knows that you’re perfectly capable of everyday things despite being blind, even if you have to do things a little differently. So, he won’t underestimate you. For the most part, he treats you no differently.

There is still no way you’re going to the hotel with him. All of that being said, and being true, he will not take you to the hotel with him. He’s already reluctant to take his s/o to the hotel and he’s even more reluctant with you because he knows you can’t even see the traps and dangers of the run down building. If he does take you, you will not be leaving his side for a second, forced to hold his arm the hold time. At least it reminds you that he does care about you.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

Likes to guide you even if he doesn’t need too. He knows that you don’t need his assistance but he enjoys guiding you around. Maybe it’s just an excuse to have you hold his hand or his arm, or for him to keep a hand on the bottom of your back. It’s a little possessive, a little protective. He also likes when you put the trust in him to just follow his lead.

Text to speech is a must have. You’re communication relies heavily on text to speech and touch, since Jesse is mute. He becomes good at communicating to you through touch but more complex thoughts need to be spoken though his phone. He makes sure that you have a phone that has a text to speech function for when he goes on business trips, so that he can text you (since phone calls aren’t great for a two way conversation in his case).

Otis Driftwood

More protective than he likes to admit. He knows you’re not helpless but he’s protective over his s/o and he’s very protective over you. Always glancing at you, hovering around you in some way. But he gets defensive and huffy if anyone dares point it out.

Likes to keep you close when out of the house. Otis likes to keep his s/o close when outside the house anyway but he uses your blindness as an excuse to keep you close. You don’t want to get lost or trip, do you? You always roll your eyes, knowing you’re perfectly capable of going to the bar with him without his arm around your waist, but why would you tell him that?

Is ready to kill anyone who makes fun of you. The family doesn’t exactly hang around establishments filled with polite people, it’s possible that a joke or two will be made at your expense. Don’t worry, if Otis can kill them, he will. He’s gotten into a lot of arguments and fights on your behalf, even if you hadn’t been all that bothered by the initial comment.

Baby Firefly

Really doesn’t bother her that much. Some times it can be a little difficult to keep up with the family when you can’t see what’s going on but you figure it all out pretty quickly, with Baby’s assistance. She also likes to surprise you with hugs and kiss, loving when you gasp and laugh when you didn’t expect her attack of affection.

Jokingly complains that you can’t see her. When she gets all dressed up, she pouts about you not being able to see how pretty she looks but she’s just joking with you. Still, you always grin and compliment her, telling her that you don’t need to be able to see to know that she is beautiful.

Yautja (Predator) 

Let’s you do a lot of exploring. The first time you touched it, it was fair to say that you were surprised despite him having told you he wasn’t human. Plus, it only made you more curious about him. So, he lets you explore at your own pace. He understands curiosity, he’s a curious creature himself, so he lets you sate the curiosity patiently. He loves seeing the little faces you pull, intrigue and confusion on your face followed by a pleased smile as you formed an idea of his appearance.

Impressed by you. You are clearly a capable human, a brave one too, and that’s all he needs to know. He doesn’t care if you’re blind, and you certainly aren’t letting it hold you back!

Still watches over you. He’s overly protect of a human s/o anyway, it doesn’t matter who you are, it’s just in his nature. No matter what, he’s going to be watching over you, making sure no harm comes to you. 

[thenovelartist]

Boys as Dads - Tears of Themis Headcanons

I've been sitting on this for days, writing it after @luke-appreciator mentioned the boys as dads and henceforth planting the idea in my mind.

Luke

LOOK! Luke is living past his three year “time limit” goshdarnit! He gets to see his kids grow up!

And he has several of them with his MC (I’m thinking four or five.)

They were all mostly planned. (They were just rolling with however many they were blessed with until they decided to stop.)

When his first child was born, he cried. He didn’t think he’d get this opportunity, but now he’s a dad and feels overwhelmed by the blessing.

He is as involved in his kids’ lives as he possibly can be.

He’s the dad that will teach his kids how to fix everything.

Totally the hands-on dad of wrestling and headlocks and ruffling their hair.

Yes, even his girls, but in a slightly different context. Uses those moments to teach them self-defense. (Yes, he’ll do that to his boys, but he’s more concerned about his girls.)

That said, he’s very protective of his kids and wants to give them all the knowledge he can to make sure they can keep themselves safe.

Will try to get his kids into Sherlock Holmes.

One of his kids is named John after John Watson. It was actually MC’s idea, much to Luke’s surprise and delight.

When he’s away on mission (which already makes him sad because he doesn’t like being away from his precious family), he hates it when he has to go full dark mode. Because he’d at least like to call them and tell them good night if he can’t be there.

The king of pictures.

There are cameras scattered throughout the house so he can easily steal a picture whenever he wants to.

Will put together scrapbooks upon scrapbooks of photographs for all kinds of events. The kids get in on these activities, and it has become a bit of a family event to arrange the pages together.

Not a day goes by he takes for granted. Does not matter if he’s cleaning up diapers or one of his kids is sick or he’s having to do damage control when something gets out of hand. He cherishes all of it.

Vyn

I see Vyn having one or two. Both were totally planned.

Mostly, he just sees children as patients, but now, he’s got two children he actually raises.

And the moment his first child is placed into his arms, he realizes with sickening clarity that his actions have a direct impact on their lives.

While he knew that beforehand, there was a moment it clicked, and Vyn felt himself change that day.

He strives to be the best father he can, minding everything he does to lead by example.

He didn’t have the greatest childhood, meaning he does everything he can to make sure his kids never have to experience the things he wished never happened to him.

He’s a bit of a helicopter parent despite knowing he needs to not be. All he wants to do is protect his kids, is that so wrong?

However, because of that, he happens to understand and sympathize with parents more now. His kids wrecked him in ways he didn’t think possible.

It’s a bit of a learning experience for him to allow his kids to learn on their own. He knows so much and wants to just tell them everything they need to know, but realizes that he can’t do that. He has to let them learn and grow in their own ways.

He wants to give his kids the best, from quality schooling to extracurricular activities. But he’s also is more than happy to teach them their way around the kitchen and garden as well as play games and do puzzles with them.

Also really enjoys reading them books at bedtime. A habit that will linger around for surprisingly long while.

He’s the dad that is glad to help with homework whenever they need it.

Always offers to listen to them and talk them through things. It would be pretty shameful if the psychiatrist couldn’t help guide his own kids through their own mental hurdles.

And he knows he did something right because his kids are comfortable talking with him about a lot of things, even in their teenage and young adult years.

Ends up the dad who has the best life advice that his kids eventually learn to always listen to even if they don’t appreciate it when they’re younger.

Artem

Ends up with a large family, both adopting and raising his own.

Probably two of their own, and two or three (or four… maybe five) adopted.

The kids they had were planned; the ones they adopted… not always. It tended to be a “this one grew on you unexpectedly” situation.

Loves all his kids equally, whether they’re his own or adopted.

Super supportive dad. Probably spoils his kids in praise and hugs.

That being said, he won’t coddle them. He’s all for supporting them, but knows when to allow his kids face the negative consequences of their actions. He’s an attorney, after all. This is his “justice” side showing.

But he’s fair. He will guide them the best he can but will let experience be the teacher if he needs to. And if experience is the cruel teacher of the day, he’ll be there, whether to pick them up, dust them off, and offer hugs or to talk them through how to best navigate the consequences and avoid the situation next time.

His schedule revolves around any and all events in his kids’ lives. Which, considering the size of his family, is a balancing act.

Days off are sacred. That is his time to spend with his family.

Nightly family dinners are a big thing in the Wing household. Game nights on weekends are even bigger. And louder.

He’s the dad that can go from tutus and tea parties to action figures and lego sets. Whatever his kids are up for, he’ll gladly participate.

Every year, for each kid’s birthday, will spend one-on-one time with them and do whatever they want to do for an entire day. With a big family, especially with the adopted ones, he knows it might be easy to feel lost in the crowd and doesn’t want any of his kids thinking that.

Once a year, they go on a week-long vacation somewhere in nature. No phones, no technology; this is family bonding time and time for kids to just run around and be kids.

All in all, grade A dad.

Marius

Ends up with two or three.

The first one was a surprise, and likely one more after that was not planned, either.

But the moment he holds his first child, a switch goes off in his mind and Marius matures, knowing he’s got not only his girl to protect and keep safe but now a helpless little one who’s wholly dependent upon him.

He’s probably the second most hover-y of the boys behind Vyn. And that’s less because he’s a helicopter parent and more because he knows he’s a target for people and is very concerned for his kids’ safety. So he’s hypervigilant of everything, including what school they go to, who they’re friends with, where they go, etc.

Their house… oh my…

He’s an artist, and he will inspire that in his kids. There’s paint, stickers, crayons, and markers freaking everywhere.

Oh, and art taped to practically every wall. And a few in his office.

Marks every major event down on a calendar. His assistant knows there will be hell to pay if there’s a scheduling mishap.

Never let him help with homework (unless it’s art). Because he’s the guy who will teach his kids the smartass answers to some questions, even if it gets his kids in trouble.

(Spoiler: his kids never mind and instead pick up his bad habits.)

(Much to MC’s chagrin. Will make Marius go sit in the corner, much to his children’s delight.)

Will put his kids into any extracurricular activities they want growing up.

Totally spoils them in that way.

But the minute they turn into little shits about their wealth? Say good bye to your technology for the next few days. Marius is all about spoiling his kids, but not rotten. Even he hates snotty rich people he has to deal with, and he’s not gonna let his kids be like that.

Loves spending time doing things with his kids. Up for anything from the midday ice creams when mom told them no to spontaneous adventures. Oh yeah, he’s that dad.

[angelofthequeers]

I really love how this show tells a story without explicitly saying so, especially with how that pertains to Chloé

She can’t be redeemed yet because she doesn’t want it. She hasn’t hit rock bottom quite yet because she’s still got support if she wants it...but she doesn’t want it. She’s pushing everyone away and ‘Queen Banana’ uses a nice parallel to show this.

Adrien once again tries to reach out to her, to convince her to improve herself and stop being so nasty to everyone. But unlike in ‘Despair Bear’, she’s not even willing to pretend, because she was Queen Bee and that means she’s Good and therefore can’t possibly need to change and it must be everyone else who’s the problem. So she just straight up rejects one of the only two people she’s ever been nice to and cared about in her life.

“You’re not my Adrikins anymore, you’re my Adri-no one!”

She claims he means nothing to her, just like she did to Ladybug in ‘Miracle Queen’ after Ladybug stood her ground and didn’t cave in to her demands to take the Bee Miraculous. She literally cannot handle being told no and when Adrien does so with finality - with a gentle force that she knows she won’t budge - she lashes out and pushes him away.

Just like she later does to Ladybug in a parallel of her words to Adrien.

“You’re not Ladybug, you’re Lady-nonexistent!”

Because this episode showed that to Chloé, life is a movie for her to direct. She’s the star, she gets everything she wants on demand, and when people finally stand up to her and firmly say no? She lashes out and insists that they don’t exist in her perfect world where everything goes her way and she gets everything she wants.

In her perfect movie world, she’s the stunning hero Queen Bee who revels in the attention of being a superhero and saves her Adrikins while Ladybug gushes about what a great superhero she is just like in her documentary back in ‘Malediktator’. When things go off-script, she demands that the entire script be re-written to once again centre her as the star; as the queen. She calls on people with the power to give her what she wants, like her father...or Shadowmoth.

“Chloé, we don’t want to change everything again!”

“DADDY!”

And when people finally refuse to play along with her script, she erases them from her life so she can keep clinging to her fantasy. She denies that they’re her sister, tells them she doesn’t need them, turns them into bananas...and so on.

‘Miraculer’ proved that she could resist if she wanted to but, well, she doesn’t want to. She’s not going to get the power and prestige from being Queen Bee, so she’ll get it from taking down the person who’s holding her back from that glory. Ladybug, who only existed to boost Chloé’s image as her “best friend”, then ceased to exist when she went off the script that Chloé had constructed in her head.

She’s not out of character for regressing. She never has been. It’s always been about the attention and stardom for her and when she couldn’t have that, she reverted back to her old ways. Why should she bother improving herself if she gets nothing out of it? Like she said in ‘Sole Crusher’ (which people slam for being too cartoonish without taking a closer look at it), there are winners and losers in life and she’s a winner. If she’s not then that makes her a loser. Queen Bee is a winner, a powerful figure standing next to Ladybug with Adrien fawning over her, and having that taken from her makes her a loser. So...she doesn’t acknowledge that. She doesn’t acknowledge Ladybug. She doesn’t acknowledge Adrien pointing out her promise to change. If she does then she’ll have to face some very hard truths about herself, and I do believe she’s got the self-awareness to know that those truths are there even if she staunchly refuses to acknowledge them.

And I do believe that’s where Zoé will come in. Zoé is taking everything that Chloé sees as rightfully hers: the attention and love of others, a relationship with Adrien (as Chloé so explicitly pointed out last episode, Adrien is hers), her role in the movie, her father’s attention...even her superhero mantle. Twice now, André has stood up to Chloé when he never has before. And both times pertained to her behaviour towards Zoé. He even explicitly called her out the second time, because he’ll give her anything she wants except hurting her own sister. But Zoé’s explicitly said that she loves Chloé, even if no one else will, and she’s the only member of Chloé’s family to genuinely love her without taking her crap.

“And I’ll always love you even if the whole world hates you...sister.”

Zoé will be the catalyst that Chloé truly needs to improve herself and stay that way. Chloé needs tough but tender love, which she can’t get from the people who have already tried. Adrien doesn’t have the power to make her keep her promise because if he’s nice to her, she just takes that as a reward and permission to stop acting since she actually wants to know him and have a relationship with him. Ladybug’s job isn’t to sit there and coddle her and hold her hand and if Ladybug can’t make her special then, well, she’s useless in Chloé’s eyes. Ladybug tried once, and Chloé did acknowledge the truth about herself and apologise, but her change of heart didn’t stick. She had no one to consistently hold her accountable and call her out when she stumbles, and no real reason to want to change. But Zoé is in a unique position as her family, as one of the only people she literally cannot refuse to acknowledge, and I believe that Chloé will at least have her footing back by the time the show comes to an end.

The name Zoe means ‘life’, while Chloe means ‘green shoot/fertility/blooming’, and I feel like this describes how their future dynamic will unfold. Zoé is the healing power who believes the best in everyone, even Chloé. Chloé is the angry, destructive power who hates everyone and lashes out because she feels that they ruin her world and don’t deserve to even look at her. But just like in the start of the episode, once Chloé stops trying to force the story to cater to her and lets herself break for good, Zoé will be there to help her get back up and stay up; to blossom and grow by giving her new life. And now that she’s got a charm to protect her from akumatisation, she can safely fall and break and process this without being preyed on by Shadowmoth.

I just...really love this show and its storytelling, is all.

[allthingsarmin]

Hello, can i please request an armin x reader but it’s a modern au where armin is a nerd and the reader is popular, feel free to ignore if you don’t like the idea :)

Thank you for your request, anon! I really hope you like it, and I can always rewrite it if it’s not the way you imagined. Also, sorry it is a little long - I think I got carried away with this prompt haha.

The beginning might be a little angsty, but the ending is cute ^_^

GN!Reader

Warnings: one cuss word, mentions of self-doubt, kissing

Word Count: 2,346

-------------------------

Things change - sometimes for the better - like how Armin finally cut his bob-length hair and now has a handsome undercut that suits his jawline and like how you are finally growing taller since it seemed like forever that Armin was the taller one.

Things change - sometimes for the worse - like how you and Armin used to be so close in grade school, but now in college, your relationship is made up of awkward smiles in the hallways, small waves when passing each other in the library, and unfinished conversations on SnapChat.

Things fade - relationships come to an end, people move on, and that’s just life. Look at you now, from a quiet person to a popular student known for your humorous remarks, angelic facial features, a delightful sense of style, and your beautifully color-coded notes. You capture hearts with your smile, and you never fail to make anyone laugh with your stupidly funny puns and nonsense. To put it simply, Armin is a bit different - well, you could say nerdy. Quiet, polite, and has as much passion for the world as he does intelligence. Always heavily invested in school and studying as you could almost always find his nose in between the pages of a book or study guide. Poor Armin - not known for his sweet personality or his above average intelligence. Definitely not known for his sense of style but always comes to class dressed in a rather dashing blazer and keeps a couple Kleenex tissues in his left pocket. Armin barely has any friends, - if any - but he always makes sure to hold the door open for strangers, smile at teachers when entering the classroom, and send you a “Happy Birthday!” text every year.

Some things don’t fade - like Armin’s feelings for you even after you two grew apart and he was forced to watch you from the sidelines. How could he not be so deeply in love with you? When you two were close, you coddled up with each other and read books about the ocean, learning about sharks and so naively believing in the theory of Atlantis. You stayed over at each other’s houses and studied together as well as comforted each other if one of you didn’t do as well as you expected on a test. You used to braid his long blond locks as he told you stories about his grandfather. During the summers, you would use chalk to draw a picture of you two on the blistering sidewalks outside his house, and he would give you handmade bookmarks as a present. Even though you two have grown apart, he is still in love with you, watching you laugh from far away. The way your eyes squint out of happiness and the sound of your hearty laughter makes his body heat up and his cheeks rosy. The way you sometimes send him “Good luck!” texts for when there’s a big test in a class you both are taking makes him smile with teary eyes since it seems that you have in fact not forgotten about him and his intense anxiety when it comes to test-taking. The way you ran up to Armin and gripped his arm when you unexpectedly saw him in the campus coffee shop that one time sent a euphoric tingle throughout his body that made him forget how to breathe properly. How could he not love you when you were always there for him, when you remembered every personal detail he told you during late-night childhood sleepovers, when you tried your best to make him love himself? Armin wants so badly to tell you how important you are to him, how he wants to protect you from everything bad in the world, how he wants to wrap his arms around you and listen to your heartbeat… you are just so hard to reach. He is a nerd, a loser, and you are so popular, surrounded by endless amounts of friends… he’s sure your contacts are completely full and DMs flooding with people who are interested in you and are a lot better than him. What was the point in even trying?

Luckily for Armin, you feel the same way. To be honest with yourself, your stupid jokes, loud laughter, and wide smiles were really just a cover-up for how deeply sad you are. No matter how many friends you have or instant messages you receive from strangers online, you feel incredibly alone because none of them are him. Popularity doesn't matter to you anymore - you just miss your best friend so terribly. You missed walking on the beach together, splashing each other with the salty waves, making study-flashcards together, and being able to touch his beautiful blond hair whenever you wanted. Armin’s birthday is coming up, and you want to make your move and do something big for him that would let him know how special he is to you. This time, it wouldn’t involve loads of friends or a loud party with that overly social and fake personality of yours.

You text Armin: “Hey Armin! We haven’t talked in awhile, but your birthday is this Saturday, and I would like to meet up with you. Are you free to go to the beach on Saturday? I want to give you a present, and I just want to catch up with you. I miss my friend!”

Armin read the text with relief. Even if he couldn’t have you the way he wanted, he still wanted more than anything to reconnect with his old friend. “It’s good to hear from you, y/n! I have no plans for Saturday, so of course we can meet up… around 7pm if that’s okay. I want to watch the sunset! And I miss you too…”

Saturday:

It is November, which means it’s cold. At the beach in November? Even colder, so you make sure to dress warmly.

It is 6:59pm, and you trudge through the moist sand, the harsh wind bearing itself against your face making the tip of your nose turn a bright pink as you grip your hoodie close to your body. In the distance, you see Armin sitting on the sand, shoes off and wearing a dark green sweatshirt with a black beanie. Sitting next to him was his backpack - of course he was the type to bring his school work with him while you always brought your violently vibrating phone with you everywhere.

You release a tired breath as you sit next to him in the sand, setting the bag of presents down beside you and keeping your cold hands in your hoodie pocket. A big smile is on your face as you ask him: “Aren’t you cold, Armin? Why don’t you have your shoes on?!” Armin laughs as he turns his face toward you. At this point, you can see how red his cheeks really are, and this is really the first time you’ve noticed how handsome he actually is. The softness of his blond eyelashes beautifully contrast with the sharpness of his jawline. His smile is soft, and his deep blue eyes pierce into yours. “Hahaha, I don’t know. I just haven’t been to the beach in a long time…” he trails off. “It’s ‘cuz you’re so popular now that you don’t have time to hang out with me,” he states in a playfully butt-hurt tone though you can sense that he is indeed a little upset about it. The waves hitting the shore fill the awkward silence between you two. “I know,” you softly say, “but I think about you all the time. I miss you, and I hope we can be close friends again,” you confess. Armin feels his heart flutter when you say that you miss him. He wants to tell you he loves you and wants to reassure you that he’d always be there for you, but instead he pats you on the back. “It’s okay! I was just joking,” he awkwardly laughs. “Of course we are friends, and I hope we can be even closer too.”

He glances to your side. “What’s in the bag?” he inquires. “Oh!” you exclaim, seemingly as if you forgot about it. You rush to give him the bag and shove it into his arms. “It’s just some stuff I got you for your birthday.”

He rummages through it, going through the endless amount of tissue paper on the top. He pulls out a light blue sweater first.

“It’s almost winter, so I figured I’d give you something warm. I think this color…” you pause and hesitantly reach up to adjust his beautiful blond bangs, “... would look good on you.”

You both make eye contact for a second and quickly look away from each other. “Haha, it’s beautiful, y/n. Thank you!” You are just about to say ‘no problem’ before he is quickly taking off his green sweatshirt and replacing it with the light blue one, his very toned abs peeking through the plain white t-shirt he had on underneath the sweatshirt. You feel your cheeks grow warm and instantly look away. Armin notices and chuckles to himself. He would honestly never mind if you wanted to look at them or even touch them.

“Now, onto the second one,” you say, trying to change the subject. Armin pulls out two matching, homemade bracelets that feature a seashell on both of them. He looks at them silently and intently.

“I made matching bracelets!” you say proudly. “They’re like friendship bracelets, so we both have to wear them all the time! You aren’t allowed to take it off!” you joke.

“They’re so pretty, y/n,” he whispers as he stares at the shells, a sparkle in his eyes. He immediately puts it on and gently takes your wrist to put yours on.

“There,” he says contently, carefully placing your wrist in your lap.

You two sit silently next to each other, shoulders brushing against one another and watching the waves as the sun casts a dull orange and purple glow across the sky. The sounds of waves crashing against the shore and the squawking birds in the sky cancel out the noises of Armin softly crying.

Once you notice, you quickly snap your head around. “Armin, are you okay?” you ask, extremely worried.

“Thank you for the presents, y/n,” he sniffles. “You have always done stuff like this for me,” Armin continues as he gets flashbacks of you two running across the beach and gawking at beautiful seashells, telling jokes to each other in grade school when it was supposed to be reading time, and making funny drawings of each other. “I’ve never told you thank you - for being there for me and comforting me all those times, and just letting me be myself. It’s been such a long time since we’ve done anything together. I miss making you laugh, and I miss going to the library with you and asking you about your day.”

At this point, you feel like crying too because you feel the exact same. You spent so much of your life wanting to fit in, and you finally became popular but at what cost? You nearly forgot about the most important person to you, the one person that actually cares about you.

“I love you,” Armin suddenly blurts out, a tear running down his face. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine,” he says so quietly that it’s borderline pathetic. You swear your heart stopped when he said that. You feel a burning sensation all along your body as you forget about the cold air hitting your face, and you feel your breathing stop. The uncertainty you felt that kept you awake every night about whether Armin thought of you the same, all the self-doubt, all the guilt about leaving your friend behind, had been erased in an instant.

The silence between you two is unbearably awkward, and with confidence you seemingly pull out of nowhere, you throw yourself onto Armin’s lips, your arms enclosing his broad shoulders, and both of you falling sideways into the wet sand. Armin, at first shocked, passionately kisses back and links onto your soft lips. The tips of your noses are cold, but you both eventually succumb to each other's warmth. You both pull away to catch some breath. Armin gently wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him as you bury your head in the crook of his neck. Even after all this time, he still smells the same - vanilla and cedarwood. “I love you too,” you softly say. Noticing that you both are practically wallowing in the sand by now, you apologize. “Also, sorry I ruined your new sweatshirt. There’s sand all over it,” you laugh.

“Oh, it’s okay,” he reassures, shyly placing a kiss on your forehead. “Want to watch the sunset with me?” You nod your head enthusiastically, a smile you couldn’t help leave your lips.

“Oh, fuck,” you quitely exclaim.

“What’s wrong?” Armin asks in a concerned tone.

“I forgot I have an essay due at 11:59 tonight.”

Armin busts out laughing - a sound you wouldn’t mind hearing for the rest of your life even though he’s laughing at your poor planning.

“When the sun finally sets, we can go back to my dorm, and I can help you with it if that’s alright with you,” he politely offers.

“Sure!” you happily reply.

You both sit up and face the horizon. The sun was almost gone, and the sky was a heavenly pink color while the sea began to look indigo. Your hands were linked with Armin’s, and for the first time in a long time, you felt warm despite the air getting cooler.

Getting ready to go to Armin’s dorm, he grabs his backpack and his dark green sweatshirt. You get up and check your phone, not at all caring that you have nearly fifty missed text messages and missed calls asking why you didn’t come to the weekly campus party.

You finally have all that you need.

-----------------------

I really hoped you liked it! Requests are open ~ I have another request that will be posted soon.

[helion-ism]

let’s talk about elucien

there are so many reasons why I love elain x lucien and why I think these two would not only be amazing together, but also why they belong together. one of those reasons is lucien’s sassy personality, which we already got a glimpse of in acotar (and that I miss terribly btw), and which is, in my opinion, exactly what elain needs in her life. we’re talking about lucien “your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold” vanserra. we know he’s got quite a big mouth, that’s how we got to know him, but we also know that mouth is exactly what’s gotten him into trouble before. case in point: the eye incident. lucien doesn’t mince his words and yes, that is one of the reasons why elain really needs to spend some more time with him. 

she has been coddled by not only her father, nesta, feyre, but also the entire inner circle, which has allowed her to live her life passively. yes, she killed the king of hybern, and good for her, but she did it because nobody else could have done it at that point in time. ever since the war ended, elain has not actively contributed to any plot matters, whether by choice or because someone else took the choice from her. azriel said in acosf, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that elain should not be exposed to.” even amren pointed out that elain is capable of defending herself, but for some reason, nobody let her even though elain said she would try to find it: “then I will find it. I might require some time to … reacquaint myself with my powers, but I could start today.” and yet,  by the end of the book, elain’s been barely in it and has not contributed at all. (I know some people claim there’s certain things already happening in the background, but honestly, I’m not satisfied with that development happening off page, so I can’t wait to finally go on her journey and actually see her do stuff)

this moment is crucial:

does it look like she is happy with the way the others treat her? not really. when nesta snapped at her, elain started laughing. that signals relief to me because nesta, the one who has always tried to protect elain the most (nesta baby Ilysm), is the one who suddenly lost her patience. elain needs somebody like lucien, somebody with a big mouth and sassy attitude, who can coax her out of that paralysis she’s been stuck in, a bit like nesta in this scene. additionally, the banter would be top tier. I want another “if I offer you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?” moment, please. god please. (elain blinks. “and where would you like that kiss?” — and lucien just loses his mind.)

another thing that lives in my head rent free is the fact that lucien has travelled almost everywhere and could introduce elain, who wishes to see more of the world (see: “elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers”), to the different courts and the continent. I refuse to accept that we will not get to learn more about the other courts, for my sake, but also for elain’s sake. I want her to see the spring court at least once. I want her to go and see those tulips she’s dreamt of. I want her and lucien to discover the day court as a new home, which brings me to the next point. 

elain has been craving sunshine for some time now. there’s several quotes that emphasise her connection to sunshine/light, here are a few of my favourites: 

I marveled at it, actually — that those years of poverty hadn‘t stripped away that light from elain.

the suite was filled with sunlight. every curtain shoved back as far as it could go, to let in as much sun as possible. as if any bit of darkness was abhorrent.

she had been always so full of light. perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. to fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. and now nothing remained.

what can I get you, elain? — sunshine.

elain doesn’t belong into the night court. feyre has found her family there, with rhys and the inner circle. nesta has found (or should I say accepted) cassian and found gwyn and emerie, her chosen sisters. but elain?

elain is somewhere in the background hiding with the twins and tending to gardens of the citizens of velaris. you can’t tell me that is satisfactory to you. she is currently ignoring her seer abilities, and the members of the inner circle are basically encouraging her to do so. the only time she’s been confronted lately was during that conversation with nesta and her reaction was not exactly what any of us readers would have expected, was it? that tells me there’s much more about her we don’t know yet, and I’m convinced we won’t know until she finally leaves and finds her own people, finds herself again and start dealing with everything that happened to her. elain must leave the night court, i.e. the darkness, behind in order to grow.

the same goes to lucien: he’s not at a place where he can just jump into a relationship or mating bond. he’s got so much stuff going on. lucien was forced to abandon his home and his abusive family, his “father” killed the fae he loved in front of his eyes, his best friend is an abusive pos who never appreciated him anyway, and neither has anyone in the night court. lucien is used because of his connections and because of the mating bond that ties him to elain, whether he wanted it or not. feyre knows he would never turn away from elain unless she explicitly wishes him to, and so she and rhys and the others use that to their advantage. it is smart, of course, but at the same time, they also keep important information about his own life from him that could change many, many things. so he’s spending his time with mortals in the human lands — a place where he as a fae really does not belong. 

lucien being the heir to the day court, well, to me, it feels like sjm is practically screaming it into our face: how could he find a home in the night court, the literal opposite to the day? darkness vs. light. and what about elain “he’d never once in the two years he’d known her found elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … it sucked the life from her” archeron? just looking at the symbolism, not only do the quotes from above indicate that the night court cannot possibly be her home, but also very recent quotes from the latest book. elain is a side character in the night court. and so is lucien. they both need to leave in order to become main characters — and it doesn’t even matter that both are already crucial to the further plot of the series because how can they possibly contribute to it in a place where they are both kept down? 

mor said in acofas: “stay out of it. she’s not ready, and neither is he, no matter how many presents he brings.” and “let him figure out where he wants to be. who he wants to be. the same goes with her.” mor’s power is “truth”, whatever that means. but there you have it. they’re not ready to be with each other yet, and that’s okay. 

[elain and lucien are also connected not only because of the mating bond, but also because of the plot. lucien must know quite a lot about her and her sisters simply because of all the time he spent with their father. the father who made a bargain with koschei. koschei who put a spell on vassa. lucien is therefore tied to both papa archeron as well as koschei and vassa. elain, we know, is a seer, despite her not using her abilities (or is she, and we simply don’t know?). elain is (obviously) connected to her father, but also to koschei and vassa (remember those visions she had).]

now let’s get to the mating bond stuff, and I need to say this loud and clear: elain has always had and will always have one (1) true mate. there’s no such thing as “false mate” or even multiple mates. there has been no indication whatsoever. lucien is the mate the cauldron had given her when she was born. and elain is the mate the cauldron had given him when he was born. even when she was still human, they already belonged together — tied together by strings of fate. absolutely nothing will change this fact. should elain reject the bond, lucien will remain a part of her life/her soul forever. should lucien reject the bond, elain will remain a part of his life/his soul forever.

when she was still human, lucien had already felt a pull between them and tried to save and protect her from hybern. when elain was already fae, when it came to protecting her, azriel clapped cassian’s shoulder and left (is this the true mate they’re all talking about?). it’s unfair to lucien, elain, AND azriel and this comparison alone is enough to disprove this theory.

the thing is, lucien has been nothing but respectful, kind and caring towards elain. when he arrived in velaris in acowar, he could immediately sense what she needed and said, “she needs fresh air” (vs. the response “we’ll judge what she needs”) and “take her to the sea. take her to some garden. but get her out of this house for an hour or two.” (I’m gonna make another post about this because I have a few thoughts on this)

of course, she doesn’t owe him anything, but elain herself doesn’t wish to be treated like a child, she maybe she should start acting like an adult because although she doesn’t owe lucien an apology or explanation, she has to have a conversation with him, like two responsible adults. there is no way feyre or anyone in the inner circle hasn’t told her that she can reject the bond and move on with her life. but just like her powers, this is another thing she chooses to ignore. I’m not blaming her because I know she has to work through her trauma first and heal, but by the end of the series, she has to acknowledge that at least.

in acosf, elain says “I am not a child to be fought over” when they discuss the dread trove. I wonder what she would say about the fact azriel threatens to challenge lucien to the blood duel because of her? based on literally everything we know about lucien, I can say with certainty that he would not physically fight over elain. if she only had a conversation with him and told him to move on and leave her alone, lucien would do just that. he would leave her alone and try to move on as best as he could (which we know is difficult for males). but he would never act as entitled to her as to demand a blood duel and fight to death. it goes against his principles. 

to finish this off, sjm summing up everything I just said:

[captainkurosolaire]

Prompt #20 ~ Counsel

A distant nerve inducing clock pendulum swung. Sharp vibrant nail's and a pen teetered on a clipboard. Incense's of lax inducing scent burned through a coral aromatherapy diffuser. Lounging was a discomforted Seeker struggling in giving confession impulsively wanting to bail. A melancholy sweet-voice on the other-side of the board in supervising, "just relax. We don't have to get into anything too traumatizing. The first-step, was to get help... How is the relationship with your daughter fair?" Patiently exhibiting a soothing sound the part of the ship accompanied in aquarium's and sea. Gentleness echoing in trance. The Eyelids of the patient shuttered, "Dandy... Assuming our last conversation went with a few quip's and a skirmish yells, think she made it stated, vividly clear, she quote 'hated me' so I feel that's a feeling ov' endearment." Sarcastically speaking aloud, it was like dealing with an angsty teenager. Her frustration came to him when hearing about him losing control, furthermore, participating in a deathly battleground she didn't approve of his coddling or protective nature, but also, she also, was protecting him too.

Writing down, "Did it give you pain?" Asking to elaborate and make him feel confined to open up, "If being earnest, I prefer it. I'm not th' type of long-term consistency, I'm a fleeting breath ov' enjoyment. I even bought this book, 'How to be a Grand-Standing: Father as a Vile Bastard.'" He'd waver up with a young journalist documenting some poor choices of parenthood from the Garlean culture, or otherwise less than stand-in, models to follow-after. Effort existed although surprisingly. "...I... wasn't far from th' same. What I dislike is how old I feel around her. All of a-sudden, I have urges t' be... responsible." Disgusted and almost wanting to vomit from the uttering. He grabbed an assortment of snacks of lobster sized bites, packed in perfect temperature. While not only being a therapist of the sea-vessel, it was practically important, to also stabilize and emotionally have a mental-safe place. The allured voice of a Sea Wolf, also served as the Chef aboard. "Does it make you see perspectives differently, now in the presence of someone who was identically like you? Rebellious and strong-willed?" The fairest maiden asked with a siren-tone. A crude loud exhale came. "Maybe, cutting off the arm ov' my old man, was a bit too drastic... Compared to her reasoning, is above anything of mine. Her potential b' like sea, an infinite abundance. Although her remaining n' my orbit spells, unfortunate taint to that water. I don't want her t' get caught into me, or even dare suffer, I'm th' baddest example, idol's lie especially pirate ones outmatch all wrong. I see more appreciation now, though fer my ole' man... Perhaps, I should reach out again and get them convened." This open-room to talk gave clarity, allowing him to rediscover. Her entire presence and empathic nature, made everything feel adjusted to her patient's allowing them easier to connect, only up to them to allow their bottle to be uncapped. "Why don't you offer to share a hobby with her, or exercising a training course, Captain? Or try figuring out what her interests are, and support them. Though, I believe it wouldn't be terrible for her to learn about her Grandfather either. It may awake much for you too." Giving implore to idea's of sparks. Scheming idea's came to the deviant, he was clearly an escapist personality. Though by his lighter-nudges, it was obviously recently he was on a path of growth; change of maturity. Remaining silent into the reflection, worth absorbing. Sat up from his lounge, "Aye... aye..." Scratching his stubble. This was another venture and exploration too, attempting to seize understanding and communicating. She shared in blood, but also now was Crew too. Angling things like that felt a lot less complicated and stressful. "Everything is never how it seems. There's always more isn't there? Just cause we know th' Depths exist, doesn't mean we know what lurks... I was wrong about ye too. I violently came after you believing only instinct alone, you were an incarnation of evil, I went to war against in the past... That whole event served less than delightful n' colorful..." Remaining vague and between them. "Here we are now." She paid presently, with an earnest smile. Despite Captain's sensational irrationality of once, he wasn't wrong from the marker, she was also more to than what represented before him currently a sign of petrichor. He couldn't allow the weather of strictly his intuition or ego, nor instinct to jeopardize what could be, more. This individual person, showed a matron like kindness, aboard who had self-sacrificially unconditionally loved, cared or provided for not just him, but everyone with listening alone. Although few Crew had little trust of it, she still didn't sway before them, with a pleasant aura, control, and consistently unwavering.

He couldn't forget was indeed above all others capable of being strictly; wrong. It was time to give Klethera, his estranged daughter, a harder gander, of entrusting her into and accept the outcome, she wasn't him. Wanting to believe, she was indeed supremely better. As many others on this Crew proved. "I'll see you like this n' seven suns." He'd grumbled out, showing his effort to routinely return despite dreadfully uncomfortably not being used to this, definitely something he could find and improve on continuously doing this, discovering and reaching out. His open-mindedness and charting the often unexplored, was something that he hadn't yet done enough, it was a process to feel and be real -- maintain normality while being condoned and cursed to his seas. Maybe, he could salve forgiveness with himself. The future had many stone's.

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 2

Backing Up 

B.Barnes x Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis: y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter summery: just some backstory really

warnings: none

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

THEY nodded along to the music, head bopping side to side, up and down, along with the beat. Back in Black by AC/DC blared through the workshop, bouncing off the walls and rattling about the various parts left lying around - ready to be used at some point.

Y/n's head was bowed, eyes trained to her hands as she mindlessly picked at her nails, flicking a bit of dirt away and sparing a bored glance over to where her dad and Peter sat, laughs echoing from them in a sickening, unaware torment. Or maybe they were aware, and simple didn't care that y/n sat on her own with nothing to do, no one to talk to yet nowhere else to go every minute of every day.

The laughter haunted her, kept her awake at night. Y/n's soul was crushed over and over with every realisation that her own dad preferred his stupid protege - a boy just younger than her that happened to be bitten by  a radioactive spider - to his own daughter, her.

It made her hate the boy, it really did. Y/n was constantly left out, never included in 'family' meals, never taught anything in the workshop and certainly never given any gifts unless it was Christmas or her birthday, but even then Peter's gifts would greatly outweigh her own in price, size and value.

It was infuriating, to say the least. At the age of 11, most girls are close with their fathers - spending quality time with them, going shopping or ice skating or going to the cinema. And if their dad was busy they'd have a mother who would coddle them and love them enough for both of them.

But that was the other thing that made y/n's life so much harder, and, her neglect acne so much more heartbreaking.

She was adopted.

Tony paid to have her, and yet he spent more time with some boy he'd know for barely a year. Y/n wasn't stupid though, she knew exactly why this was. Peter had superpowers, something to develop and be proud of, and she was plain old boring normal.

There was nothing special about her, to put it simply. She wasn't inhumanly strong, she couldn't shoot lasers out her eyes and nor could she climb walls and swing from building-to-building. And on top on this, she was neither insanely pretty like most of the girls she saw around her dad's house nor was she extremely intelligent like her father. It was crushing, really, to be so average in a house of the remarkable.

So when HYDRA took her, the whole bloody world was shocked.

And yet no one came looking for her. Since she had been taken, she had heard of zero attempts at rescuing her. You could say that this was the reason she barely put up a fight anymore, simply obeyed.

Her old life still played through the girl's mind, of course. How much her life had changed - and was it really much worse now?

No. That was unfair. Being neglected was no match for what HYDRA put her through. They had taken her from her own home when Tony and Peter were working on something, chained her wrists up in shackles and gagged her with a mostly old cloth found on the floor of their quinjet. Then they were off, taking her to some remote HYDRA base in a country she didn't recognise with people she didn't know.

The painful part was the testing, though. That was the tough part. It took them months to figure out what they were doing, and when the last doctor finally stepped in, they got it.

She was an attempt at another supersoldier, to put it simply.

But it wasn't simple, not at all. No, they had altered her in ways she realised not even they expected, being unfamiliar with the technology and all. So now here she was, yet another ruthless killing machine - programmed so dangerously even her voice could kill.

Literally.

The closet thing she could be described as is a siren. With her voice, she could bring down armies, but the second she lost that, she was simply the girl forgotten by Tony Stark. Her voice enchanted, at least that's what they told her. In reality, it was explosive.

Again, literally.

The pitches in her voice created some sort of deadly wave, so when it reached the ears of her victims it exploded their brain. Sometimes.

Other times, she could control it - a certain pitch had a certain outcome. So most of the time, her power became mind control, so the sound would infiltrated the minds of others and she could make them do as she pleased.

That's how she found herself where she currently was, eyes wide as they took in the best of a man that was staring back at her, mouth incarcerated by the band of metal that stretched over it and around the back of her head, the technology designed specially to keep her fro  using her powers on the HYDRA agents and scientists.

The was a big man, with bulging muscles and shaggy dark brown hair. His eyes were blue - a strange blue that seemed to change daily. A gritty stubble lined his jaw and framed his surprisingly pink lips. He was always clad in leather - apart from his right arm, with wasn't flesh. It was metal, with a red star adorning the side. She also knew his screams to be heart wrenching.

When not in use, her and the Winter soldier were kept in bulletproof glass cells. He was strapped down by vibranium restraints to a metal chair whilst y/n was kept mute by her vibranium band. The two had often sought comfort in the sight of each other - something familiar about seeing the same person every time they returned seemed to calm both of the assassins.

Whenever y/n was in her cell and the soldier was not there, she felt lonely and vulnerable. With his cerulean eyes watching over her she often felt safe, protected. After a full year being HYDRA's personal slave y/n still feared them - the idea that she was enhanced and they still pulled her strings a sickeningly terrifying thought. Especially for a 15 year old with barely a grip on the world.

She yearned to learn more about the Winter Soldier. Why he never seemed to age. Why he could completely change with the uttering of a few simple words. Why he had a metal arm. There were so many things she didn't know, and yet his mere presence was enough to calm the girl and bring her back down to earth, no matter how scared she was.

But one day, everything changed.

[secondhand-trash]

All Hands On Deck

Kinktober 2020 — public sex

A/N: Heart of the Ocean was the favourite fic I’ve ever written and I’m so glad that I get an excuse to revisit him for kinktober uwu

Pairing: pirate!Dabi x reader

Description: You seek reassurance from your love when you woke up from a dream where he wasn’t here anymore.

Warning: public sex, fingering, vaginal penetration, creampie, slight degradation, Dabi is Touya

Word count: 3030

this is a continuation to Heart of the Ocean, but you can read this on its own too;)even though I recommend reading that one for maximum enjoyment;)

-

It was always the sound of waves that calm you down when you wake up in cold sweat.

You blinked, trying to force out the feeling that was looming in your head and making it hard to breathe. Your chest heaved as you slowly steady your breaths, letting out a heavy sigh when you looked around to see that you were in the cabin you had fallen asleep in instead of the dreadful place you saw in your dreams.

You were back there again, at that pier during those god awful years when the love of your life was gone missing. You kept telling people that he was alive, that you needed to go find him but they just kept shutting you down. The panic when they dismissed you by saying that you were not thinking clearly after your fever was far too real that you could feel the suffocation in your chest. The ache at the back of your throat making your words came out as nothing but sobs as you tried to open your mouth to prove yourself but failed.

There was a moment when you thought that it was all real. and your reunion with him was just your subconscious protecting your shattered heart from the reality with a beautiful fragment of your dreams.

The ceiling you stared mindlessly at swayed softly, the gentle creaking of the wooden floor coaxing you down as silent tears ran down your face. 

Thank god, you were still here.

The light was filtering in through the small window at the far corner of the cabin and you rubbed your eyes to accumulate to the illumination. You had no idea what time it was, you didn’t really need to know when you were not asked to follow any routines anyway. 

You protested the way he coddled you at first, claiming that you wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that everyone else would start working at the crack of dawn, but was unable to win over the absolute authority he had on this ship. You got along with his crew just fine, but none of them would dare to defy the captain’s order no matter how hard you try to convince them.

The pirate Dabi held treasures more valuable than most people could ever begin to measure, but the only possession he had that truly mattered was you, and god have mercy on the fool who makes a scratch on you.

“The only work you need to do,” he kissed the center of your palm when you brought it up to him on one of the nights when you first boarded the ship while he was sliding his hand up your chemise, "is to be here, in my bed, by the time the sun sinks. Don’t worry your pretty little head over all the other unimportant things.”

“But Touya...” you whined, pushing yourself off the bed so that you could press up against him. He groaned he felt the softness of your breasts and the way his old name rolled off your tongue so naturally. The fearsome pirate had set his mind to leave his old self behind years ago, but had allowed you to reminiscence on the simpler times when you were under the intimacy of being alone.

You always managed to crack the front he put up for years with just a flutter of your lashes, but he was determined that he wouldn’t let you have your way this time no matter how sweet your voice was as you panted by his ear.

He had always been somewhat protective of you, but it had only gotten worse after he experienced those years that probably tormented him as much as or even more than it did to you. It pained you every time when you imagined what he had gone through away on the high seas as the lone survivor on the ship he sailed out on and you poured all the tenderness in your heart into each of your lingering touches against his torched skin. The consequence of that was he now knew how easy it would be for him to lose you again and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

He promised that he would treat you like a princess and he had all the intentions to keep the promise.

“No ‘but’s,” he cut you off short by pulling you onto his lap, his hands digging into the side of your hips as he rode up your chemise. You tried to protest but the speech you had prepared in your head was replaced by a lewd whine when he thrust up to grind his clothed erection against your bare cunt. 

If there was anything you could say about Dabi, was that the years of surviving in a world where the strong devour the weak made him a much more domineering man than Touya ever was.

You never brought it up again, knowing that he could be very stubborn when he made a decision. It was nice to be taken care of sometimes and you slowly settled into your role on the ship as the captain’s girl. You had managed to find ways you could help around the ship too, and getting your hands dirty helped made everything feel a bit real.

But occasionally, when you woke up shaking like you had this morning, there was still only one thing you could think of that could shake the fright in your mind away.

You picked up the woolen shawl that was draped over the nearest chair mindlessly last night and wrapped it around your body, covering up the low-cut collar of your linen shift. The floor was cold as you crawled down the mattress with your toe touching the wooden boards first, sending shivers down your spine as you searched for your felt slippers that were shoved to the side. You could hear the sound of people shouting above your head and you slipped out of the cabin door, knowing exactly where your love would be.

It was probably early in the morning, you had noticed that there was still a hint of the pink and orange burn left by the sun at the edge of the skyline. You greeted the men of the crew with a murmured good morning as you walked along the side of the ship, the smell of salt in the breeze evoking your senses as you paced towards the helm area at the very front.

You slowed on your feet as you got closer and closer to the figure standing in front of the wheel, letting out a soft breath as you stared.

The helm was supposed to be handle by a man specific for that position, but it didn’t stop Dabi from getting down to the deck in the early morning to take control. His back looked broader when decked in his long coat and the silver accents of his sleeves glimmered under the morning sun. A long, curved blade was strapped onto the side of his waist, tapping lightly against his thigh as his hands held onto the handle of the helm.

What a man, and he was yours.

“Love,” he muttered when he felt your hand on his arm, glancing at you as you leaned your face on his shoulder, “why are you up?”

You sighed at the warmth that was lingering on his coat, rubbing your face against the leather. “Got waken up by a bad dream.”

He stiffened under you. He knew what it was about. Of course he did, whenever you two woke up with a shudder, it was always over the same thing. 

The worst nightmare for you both was to wake up to find the other person gone again.

“Come here,” he held your hand gently, tugging your arm so that you were standing in front of him with you between the helm and his chest, “didn’t you say you want to learn how to work the wheel? Since you’re here already, might as well teach you a trick or two.”

He swelled at the light chuckle you let out when he threaded his fingers through yours, holding the wooden wheel over your smaller hands. He crouched down so that he could lean his jaw on the nape of your neck, His arms caging you in as he stared at the sea the ship was sailing ahead.

“It feels more like you’re just finding an excuse to feel me up.”

“Such big claims, you know I don’t need an excuse for that,” his breath fanned at the little patch of skin that was exposed with your shawl sliding down your arm and you felt goosebumps when the rough texture of his scarred lips brushed past your neck. His hand gave you a warning squeeze when he felt you tilting your head back, “now eyes on the sea, princess.”

You whimpered when he untangled his fingers from your hand and slid up your arms, the graze of his hand had shivers tingling down your skin. He darted his tongue out to lick at the delicate skin where your neck connected to your shoulder. A soft hiss slipped past your lips when he bit down, just hard enough to leave a mark, before sucking and licking at the sore spot alternatingly. Your shawl had fallen to the ground, pooling at your feet as your hand gripped tightly at the helm and trying hard to make sure it was stable instead of giving in to the weakening of your knees.

His arms now snaked around the side of your ribcage, taking advantage of how little obstacles there were with your open arms. He licked a long strip up along the pulse on your neck, stopping just below your ear as his hand pulled down the collar of your shift. Your breath hitched at the cold wind that brushed past your bare chest, your nipples standing up for attention under the sudden chill.

“Better focus on the helm, so no one will know what we are up to,” he nibbled at your earlobe. He pushed your tits up with his palms, giving them a squeeze before rolling the two perky buds between his fingers.

You could still hear the talking down on the deck. If any of them bother to look up and took in the way he held you there, there was no way they wouldn’t notice that your knees were bucking together while he continued to bite down on your neck. Each pinch and pull at your chest had you all the more aware of the wetness that was starting to seep out of you. You tried to rub your thighs together to ease the burn but he was one step ahead of you, shoving his knee between your legs to force them apart.

A silent whine fell short on his ears when he smoothed his palm down from your chest, bunching up the pale linen of your frock in hand and yanked it up to your waist. You lost balance when the calloused pad of his finger brushed past your clit, frantically latching back onto the helm when the ship had a sudden shift from its track.

You grimaced when you heard the confused murmurs of the crew, people looking around from the shake of the ship. Dabi let out a wolfish chuckle, parting your folds to collect the juices leaking out of you before bringing it to rub against your sensitive bud.

“Is everything alright, captain?”

“No worries, everything is dandy,” he replied with a yell, not turning around to face the men as he peered down to watch your cunt sucking his fingers in, “everyone resume your positions.”

Your lips hurt from how hard you were biting down, desperate to keep your voice down as he slowly pumped his digits within your velvet walls.

“That was close,” he grumbled in your ear, licking his lips as the bob of your throat when he scissored his fingers, “you’re getting careless..."

He let out a mocked gasp and you squeaked when he glided his fingers in and out of you at an increasingly fast pace, “Or did you do it on purpose? Do you want my entire crew to know you’re getting fucked on deck?” he cackled when you whimpered, unable to say anything in fear of other sounds slipping out too, “Do you want people to watch you cum on my fingers?”

Your cunt clamped down on his long digits at the sneer and nothing could stop you from whining out loud at the sudden emptiness when he pulled out. He pushed your upper body forward with a forceful shove until you were laying on the helm. He gripped onto the side of your hips, leaning back slightly to take a good look at your clenching hole that was now on display. 

“Suck,” you took his fingers that were dripping with the clear essence of your arousal into your mouth obediently, the saltiness expanding in your mouth as you tasted yourself on him. The sound of his belt buckle rattling had you arching your back and he snickered at your eager form as he pulled his cock out of his pants.

“Ass up.”

You complied, a soft moan rolling off your tongue as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth with a pop. He kneaded your cheeks roughly as he lined himself up at your entrance, rubbing the leaking tip along your pussy to spread the wetness around.

You latched onto the helm for dear life when he hilted in you with one push, your lips parted but no sounds came out as he slowly dragged his cock along your walls until his tip was barely inside of you.

“Fuck yourself on my cock.”

Your slick gushed out from his earlier teasing, but your face still burned at the thought of humping him right on the open deck with everyone just a platform below.

A soft tuck at your scalp had you clenching around nothing but his tip dipped in. “Or would you prefer to let the entire ship behind me see my hips thrusting up against your slutty cunt?” he asked, surging his hips forward just a little and smirking at the sigh you let out, “because I’m not letting you get down here without cum dripping down your legs.”

He let out a shaky breath when you slowly pushed your hips back, the plush flesh of your mounds pressed up against his pelvis as your hands clawed at the wooden wheel you were holding onto. Your walls pulsed to accommodate the stretch, and you started rolling your hips when the itch in your core was too much to bear even with the concern of ears all around you in mind.

You were cautious of the squelching when you slammed yourself down on his length at first, but bit by bit you lose your restraints to the tides that were starting to rise up in the pit of your stomach. Dabi gave you an approving squeeze on the side of your waist as you started throwing it back faster and faster, pants falling off your lips as his cock rubbing against your walls set your body on fire.

“I always know you are no princess behind closed doors but it seems like you have no issue acting like a whore in public too,” you mewled when he unexpectant thrust up, shocks of numbing pleasure jolted down to the tip of your toes when his cock slammed right against the spongey spot deep inside of you. 

His fingers dug into your sides as he took over, viciously slamming you down on his length as your body trembled on top of the helm. He pushed your shift further up to get a clearer sight of his cock disappearing inside of you with each thrust, your essence coating his shaft and running down your thighs. You buried your face onto the helm when you cum, muffling the moans you could no longer hold in as your cunt clenched around him. The burn spread all across your body and you were practically holding yourself up with the support of the steering wheel he was fucking you on and his arms propping you up.

“Not that I mind,” he let out a choked laugh, the staples on his face feeling like they were about to pop off with how wide his grin was at the sight of your shaking figure. He threw his head back slightly when the muscle in his stomach tightened up, “not when you are my whore...”

Dabi held you still, burying his cock deep inside you as he came with a shudder. His lips parted, a low moan coming out as a purr as ropes of his release filled you up. You whined at the warmth, scratching down on the helm as he pulled out. The sudden emptiness had you clenching around nothing and he leaned back to watch his cum seep out of your abused cunt.

You instinctively pressed your thighs together to put a stop to the sticky substance from trailing down the root of your legs and he chuckled, throwing his arm around you before pressing your back against his chest and pulling your collar back up.

“Feels real enough for you?” he whispered, his thumb rubbing at your collarbone.

You nodded, turning your head back when he tilted your chin to place a soft peck on your lips.

“Good,” Dabi let you go from his grip, giving your ass a light smack and earning a glare from you, “now I want you back on the bed and get some rest. I’ll come down once I have time.”

“Aye, aye captain...” he huffed at your playful tone, watching as you saunter away after picking your shawl up and wrapping it very tightly around your chest.

He spotted the faint marks that peaked out from it on your neck and hummed to himself in satisfaction. He turned his eyes back to the sea for once, sighing as the blue waters expanded out to the sky with no end.

Today seemed like it would be a good day.