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#he said that in canon. fact.
homkamiro · 10 months
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The winter is coming
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yayll · 17 days
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~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~
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Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.
You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.
"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."
You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.
"What is it?"
"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"
A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.
"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.
You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.
"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."
"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."
He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.
You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.
"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"
He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.
"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."
He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.
"Sit, please."
You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.
Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.
When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.
"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.
You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.
"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."
He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.
"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."
Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.
"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."
His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.
"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."
Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.
"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."
He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.
"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"
He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.
"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."
Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.
"Every single night after?"
"Every. Single. Night. After..."
"As if we were together?"
"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.
Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.
His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.
"Please— don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."
"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.
His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.
"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be together— Is this too much?"
You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.
"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."
He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours
"... I know you would. You always do."
You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.
"Do you know something I don't?"
He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.
"I know everything, silly.~"
The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.
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kittenscookie · 2 months
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Okay, have we as a fandom ever stopped and properly acknowledged how fucking smart Stan is? Like the level of not just social but also mathematical intelligence Stan seems to possess is fucking INSANE! Because he had to maintain that portal until he got the last book. He had to keep that thing in functioning condition until he could get Ford back. And I'm pretty sure Ford didn't have that vending machine door when Stan got there—I don't think people sell something like that. Let's be real he probably had to make that thing! He managed to fake his identity for THIRTY YEARS with everyone being none the wiser—that means he managed to evade the IRS!
That man is EXTREMELY intelligent, science and mathematics just don't interest him like they interested Ford—if they did he'd probably be working for NASA or some shit.
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helaenadream · 2 months
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the hotd fandom’s reaction to gwayne hightower has been nothing short of baffling to me so far. it’s no secret that people’s love to hate criston cole has been prone to making them miss the point in a major way but this to me is kind of a new level. the idea that he is “slay” or “serving cunt” or even that he legitimately sees through criston and resents him for being a bad person is a stunning misinterpretation of what the show is obviously saying. which is that gwayne hightower is racist. he talks to criston that way because criston is brown. and poor.
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imaybe5tupid · 6 months
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Falin in the Isle of Wa
ft Benichidori and Hien 👯‍♀️
Part 1 of my postcanon dyke drama cinematic universe
Part 2
Interlude
Part 3
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puppyeared · 1 year
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personal character design headcanons + brainrot
Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol
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#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH#I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF#I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect#him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least#based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein#the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that#I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this#makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible#the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol#and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸#I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between#physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin#so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the#first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo#I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles#god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god#my art#doodles#lmk#Lego Monkie kid#Monkie kid#lmk au#re-bound!au#rebound au#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#lmk xiaotian
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bunnieswithknives · 23 days
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So, was that tag mentioning "fairy deer lycanthropy" /j or /srs ?
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oshiawaseni · 2 years
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Remember when Kacchan complained about Izuku obviously skulking around with All Might and how they need to be less conspicuous about their connection with each other? When you think about it, no one cared that much what the heck Izuku was up to… except for Kacchan himself. And in hindsight, that interaction is just so freaking cute. Just because this guy is always hyper aware of Izuku and the people surrounding him and absolutely concerned with his business, he thinks others will be too.
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Take Season 2 for example at the sport festival… How did he even come to eavesdrop on Todoroki in the first place? By following and being invested in what Izuku was doing with him because Kacchan got so jealous about Todoroki declaring war on his shitnerd 😩 he couldn’t stand the idea of them going off alone somewhere together.
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Stop the cap. You were there because you followed Izuku, Katsuki. 
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Kacchan’s always overly concerned about Izuku and on top of that, he was jealous of Shouto taking his rival nerd from him. So when he got curious seeing them go off somewhere alone, he followed them and eavesdropped.
And another time he eavesdropped on Izuku in Heroes Rising.
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He’s so focused on whatever Izuku’s doing or saying, he tunnel visions like hell. Here he forgot about his icey and it melted off the stick. 
Not only does he always give Izuku his undivided attention, he definitely wants it returned.
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Izuku’s always looked at his back, right? Whether that was walking behind him in the woods, or being seated behind him in class... I think at some point Katsuki came to crave his gaze on him and secretly loved his praise too and that feeling was exposed in the joint training arc with his “Keep your eyes on me, Deku” 😂
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Oh Katsuki don’t lie ❤️
You knew he’d be watching you like this with his big and shiny doe eyes didn’t you ;)
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Turns out you’re allowed to be obsessed with Kacchan, Izuku. He was just being a hypocritical tsundere whenever he said stuff like this:
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Remember when there were a bunch of Kacchan apologists that victim blamed Izuku for sticking around when he was told to leave him alone? What if I told you Katsuki never truly wanted Izuku to leave? Because if he did leave, then who would Kacchan stalk? 😂
Honestly!!! Kacchan’s Izuku complex and how he projected it onto him like Deku is the only one who’s obsessed, is one of my biggest sources of amusement with this ship. Heh. 🤭 They are true equal partners in a lot of ways…
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Between all the “Did I do better than Deku?”, 
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the eavesdropping
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and every single time Katsuki targeted him, if you’re able to describe all of this as nothing other than PURE UNADULTERATED OBSESSION...?
DING DING DING. You’re damn right it is!
Then you flip the hate around because it turns out he was wrong to hate that person in the first place after all, and what does Katsuki’s obsession start to look like? Maybe a little something like this.
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They’re obsessed with each other and always have been and this is perfectly fine. It used to be very antagonistic attention on Katsuki’s end but his attention has since become all soft and gentle because now..? Now he’s just in love. ❤️ And that’s the tea~ ☕️
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chiropteracupola · 10 months
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A very fine captain, and a finer friend.
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paimonial-rage · 23 days
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talks of the past - zhongli
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ship: zhongli x reader
synopsis: in which the wangsheng funeral parlor’s consultant tries to restore your faith in rex lapis
notes: 1.7k words, chapter 7 of bookkeeping!verse; with ties to various chapters in the series
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It was yet another day you found yourself traveling with Zhongli to Qingce Village. Objectively speaking, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was high in the sky without a cloud in sight, the birds were chirping, and the temperature was nice. Really, there shouldn’t have been anything there to get you down. And yet…
There you were walking with your head down and a faraway look in your eyes. Had you been more aware, you would’ve noticed your companion speaking a few times. You would’ve seen the concerned look in his eyes as he peered down at you. But you were lost in your thoughts, uncharacteristically troubled and insecure.
If you had noticed, you would’ve felt a bit of pity for your companion. It was not often that you were seen in such a depressed state. Really, despite your temperament, you were generally alert and sociable. He often enjoyed the banter that would come about between you two. Truly, you were a dear friend to him. That being said, it wasn’t often you shared your concerns with him. He wasn’t sure if you even would if asked.
He cleared his throat.
“First, is… there anything that’s bothering you?”
It took a few moments for you to respond, almost prompting him to ask again before you let out a long sigh.
“Zhongli,” you began, looking up to him imploringly, “Can I talk to you about something?”
He couldn’t deny the slight start of his heart that came with your question. You’ve brought up your concerns to him before, but those were often accompanied with glares and opinions regarding his financial decisions. This time, however, exhaustion was evident in your voice with dark bags under your eyes. He could not recall doing anything that’d result in your loss of sleep.
“Sure,” he began, careful to keep his wariness absent.
“It’s not a big deal,” you began in a way that implied the opposite. “I’m sure you know how much I revere Rex Lapis. Even though he passed, I still greatly respect the legacy he left behind.”
“Yes,” he replied with a nod. “You’ve mentioned this to me a few times in the past.”
A bit too many, he would add. And with your way with words, it never exactly was… pleasant. At the very least, he was relieved your lack of sleep wasn’t with anything he did as Zhongli.
“It’s just… Lately, I’ve been talking to Madam Ping in my free time, and… I feel like my faith is beginning to be shaken…”
He frowned.
“‘Shaken?’ In what way?”
“I…” You bit your lip as tears welled in your eyes. “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I…”
You hesitated.
“I’m beginning to think he was actually a complete weirdo.”
A… A weirdo?
He cleared his throat, feeling if not just a little attacked.
“In what way?”
You sighed, glancing away with your guilt-ridden eyes.
“In… in every way.”
‘Every way?’
“For instance, take into account Mora…”
Of course, it had to do with Mora.
“Well, I once heard a story that Rex Lapis created the first home out of Mora. I always thought it was metaphorical or just a silly children’s tale, but… Madame Ping confirmed it to be true. When I asked her why he chose Mora, she said it simply was because it was available. He didn’t have any deeper meaning to it.”
He frowned. Ignoring the sense of déjà vu he felt regarding this specific topic, he didn’t see any problem with his actions.
“Yes, it only makes sense. To the God of Wealth and Commerce, what material is easier to get than Mora?”
“Exactly!” You exclaimed suddenly, nearly causing him to flinch. “Only a simple-minded man would come up with such a simple-minded conclusion.”
“S-Simple-minded…”
You nodded.
“Just because he had all the access in the world to Mora didn’t mean the common folk did. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to make the first model home out of materials available to everyone?”
He coughed.
“Perhaps.”
You sniffled.
“It’d be fine if that was the only thing, but Shitou from the Jade Mystery told me that once Rex Lapis stopped by his family’s shop in the past and purchased a spoon made of fine Noctilucus Jade to sample the culinary delights of Liyue Harbor.” You buried your face in your hands. “Why would he spend that much Mora just for a simple spoon?”
“W-Well…”
“I know, I know. As the God of Wealth and Commerce, he had easy access to Mora. And I’m sure it made him happy to contribute to the wealth of Liyue Harbor’s commonfolk, but for someone who spent so much time around his people, it’s like he had no concept of his own creation’s worth! It’s shamelessly extravagant! I didn’t think he was such a wasteful person…”
In the back of his mind, Zhongli had the urge to disagree, to stand up for the good name of Rex Lapis. Really, he wasn’t so shameless as you made him out to be, at least he didn’t think he was. But before he could respond, you continued.
“That’s not all though…” you started again.
Oh no.
“A while ago, I told Meng and the Ferrylady that Rex Lapis wasn’t a self-absorbed narcissist, but…”
Oh no…
“I was talking to Sir Yun the other day of the Yun-Han Opera Troupe? I always knew that Rex Lapis enjoyed the troupe’s shows, but did you know he starred in a few of them? As a warrior, she said. And as you know, Rex Lapis is known as the Warrior God. So that means he basically played himself in operas singing songs about… himself. Can you imagine doing that? How…”
Tears came to your eyes.
“Cringe.”
He resisted the urge to clear his throat.
“Though records say he may have taken part in those operas, I can’t recall Miss Yun stating he starred as himself,” he began. “The assumption he did so is mere conjecture at best.”
That last part slipped from his tongue before he could rein it back in. You never took kindly when his opinions differed from yours, and yet… Well, perhaps he was feeling if not a little attacked. The Yun-Han Opera Troupe had a long history, after all. They certainly would not be more the wiser if some tales became embellished over the years. He thought out of all people you would be more aware of that than most.
Thankfully, much to his relief, you were. Instead of taking to anger like you usually did, you nodded obediently.
“That’s true. I hope you’re right,” you replied with a hopeful smile. “Madame Ping said that not even the great Cloud Retainer watches operas about herself. It’s too embarrassing.”
He did clear his throat that time.
“I suppose not everyone enjoys hearing tales of their past,” he finally let out.
You nodded.
“I’m glad at least she agrees with me that only weird and abnormal people do things like that,” you let out with a bit of relief. “I was getting worried I’m the only person that feels that way…”
He only smiled in response, ignoring the fact that Cloud Retainer only said that it was “embarrassing,” not “weird” or “abnormal.” You really did not hesitate to deal your blows, did you?
“You know what the worst thing is, though?” You asked, looking up at him imploringly. “Legend has it that the gods are able to change their physical forms. There are even tales of Rex Lapis taking a female form. But… out of all the records, there are no depictions of his female form, only that she had amber eyes.”
Zhongli frowned in thought. Though he heard and understood your words well, he didn’t know what was the wrong in what you said. The tales of Rex Lapis were often embellished, especially in the way they painted him as the type to change his form often. The truth of the matter was far from that. Not that he could tell you that, of course. But before he could respond in any way, your eyes became filled with tears.
“I mean, he obviously didn’t mind leaving evidence of his male visage. And as I told you before, he made sure he looked good in every one of them. So if he was narcissistic enough to do that, why not leave anything behind of his female form? You… You don’t think… she was UGLY, do you?” You cried in pain.
If his brain didn’t shut down before, it definitely did then. But not noticing, you continued on.
“That’s the only reason I can come up with. Rex Lapis shares his beauty with everyone, after all, so she must have been so ugly that a narcissist like him couldn’t bear for others to see!” You sobbed.
Every word that left your mouth felt like a blow to his ego. Was this truly what you thought about him?
“So do you see why my faith has been shaken? If we try to view him as a person, Rex Lapis was a simple-minded conceited weirdo that was so ashamed of his female form he wiped any and all traces of her depiction out of existence.”
He couldn’t do this anymore.
“While the tales of the past may be rooted in truth, it’s important to realize they are only that. Tales. Nothing more. As it is, we simply do not know how much we can take as fact. So I would not let it bother you too much, First,” he stated in a matter-of-fact manner.
Though you looked as if you had more to say, you slowly nodded once, then once again with more surety.
“You’re right. I guess I’m looking far too into this. Surely if the great Rex Lapis was revered by so many, even the adepti, he must have been worthy of the respect. I just need to remember that,” you replied bashfully. “I’m sorry to have piled this all on you, Zhongli.”
He shook his head with a chuckle.
“It is alright. I am glad to be your voice of reason.”
Laughing in return, you nodded.
“Yes, thank you. And well, I guess it could be worse, I suppose. Madame Ping was always respectful to Rex Lapis in her stories. She could’ve said that he was the kind of person with… I don’t know. No common sense or something. Like could you imagine if he was the type of person that thought it was a smart idea to bring square cups instead of circle to a party?” You asked with a laugh. “Now that would be horrifying.”
……
Yes, you certainly had a way with words.
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heartless-curr · 3 months
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something that i feel like goes suprisingly underacknowledged in the twewy fandom im regards to the final game between neku and joshua is that, in a sense, neku has to choose between himself, and between joshua. he had to choose between their worlds and existences — not just in regards to what happens to shibuya.
the loser *should* have been erased — the only reason neku wasn't was because joshua changed his mind. this wasn't just a battle about who gets the right to do what they want with shibuya, it was a battle for who gets the right to *exist*.
if i'm being honest? in that moment, i highly doubt that neku was thinking of shibuya — how could you, when you have a gun pointed at you by your friend who you had related to more than anyone else, you're thinking about the fact that you've been betrayed and you're in a life or death situation and fuck am i really supposed to kill him???? i can't do that. how am i supposed to do that. neku mourned joshua, neku grew from it, neku blamed himself for it (survivor's guilt × 2. new achievement unlocked!) only to now figure out that he was alive.
that's the beautiful thing about neku's character development, however. the neku of w1 would have killed joshua. hell, even the neku of w2 probably would have killed him — and joshua knows this.
the neku at the beginning of the game would have NEVER chosen joshua over himself, he would have never given up his world — his very existence — for someone else — much less someone who annoyed him as much as joshua did. and joshua actively tried to push him further into this sort of mindset during week 2 — encouraging his self actualization loop, because he didn't think that neku (or himself, really), was capable of change. joshua wasn't in shibuya during week 3 to see how beat changed neku.
joshua wouldn't have been able to guess that neku wouldn't have taken the shot.
that's the beauty of the writing and of the ending. the player and joshua expect neku to take the shot. we saw what he did to shiki week 1. but he can't. neku sakuraba went from "fuck the rest, you keep your values, and i'll keep mine, i don't need other people", to willingly letting someone kill him because he valued them too much to kill them.
yes, in the larger sceme of things it's about the fate of shibuya (which is a whole other topic when you consider how shibuya is essentially a reflection of joshua but i digress), but on a more personal level, it's about what neku values more in that moment. does he value his friendship with joshua more than he values his own life.
neku by all means should have chosen himself over joshua, but he didn't.
i think that's why it touched joshua so much.
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jtl-fics · 10 months
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Fluent Freshman - Part 45
PREV
Renee Walker stands next to two of her best friends in the entire world holding up a hand drawn sign. There's an, admittedly crudely drawn, Fox on the sign that Allison had made up.
Renee had seen it and smiled from across the airport as she made her way over to where Dan and Allison were standing waiting for everyone to come. The team had managed to coordinate their flights to land all within about two hours of one another and Allison had exactly zero desire to go back and forth from the airport so her driver was waiting out at a nearby cellphone lot to come and get them once everyone was there.
"Is it nice having a driver again?" Dan asks Allison.
"I sometimes miss driving around in my car but it's a lot easier to do my makeup with him driving." she says with a shrug as they continue to catch up. Renee is holding up the sign since Allison had complained that she had lost so much of the muscle she had previously had.
"Yeah, New York City seems like a major pain in the ass to drive in too." Dan agrees as her phone buzzes. She pulls out her phone and looks at it before a huge smile fills her face, one that means she's talking to Matt, "Oh! They just landed!" Dan says confirming Renee's suspicions.
Allison looks at her watch, "Wow, 20 minutes early. They must have gotten through boarding quickly." she comments.
"Or some good tailwind." Renee offers.
"When are Neil and Andrew due up?" Dan asks looking at Renee who smiles back at her friend.
"Andrew said they're going to take a break halfway here so they'll be here tomorrow morning." Renee says.
"Get it Neil." Allison nods and it had been a wonderful thing last year to watch Andrew and Allison make peace with one another. Their mutual desire to dress Neil up a bridge towards....maybe not friendship but camaraderie.
It warms Renee's heart to see her friends get along.
"The plane got tailwind, Neil's getting tail." Dan jokes.
"I'm looking forward to meeting the new kid that I've heard about." Renee says gently moving the topic on from their friends getting together. It didn't bother her at all, but she knew that Andrew would prefer no one talk about what he and Neil got up to.
"Oh! Yeah, uh..." Dan visibly buffers.
"Dan, you're the only one of us that's met the kid. His name's Smith." Allison says with eyebrows raised in judgement.
"Look, when Coach and I went to recruit the kid my brain was like 90% on the fact that I needed to go to my interview." Dan defends herself.
"So he wasn't that memorable for you?" Allison asks.
"Yeah, I'm surprised that he's getting along so well with the guys." Dan says. "Getting stabbed over Thanksgiving feels more like a Neil move than the quiet kid Coach and I met." she adds.
That had been an interesting phone call from Andrew. Renee hadn't even realized that she had become Natalie describing the best way to get rid of the body until Andrew had clarified that it'd been an accident and Smith was alive. Renee had been a little ashamed.
She was excited to meet the kid who Andrew had spoken to her about. Glad that their strange found family was growing just a little bit bigger.
They wait around continuing to talk about plans for the break together. Allison wants to go shopping and she wants to do it once Neil and Andrew are back. Dan wants to skate at the Rockefeller center. Renee would love it if they could do Christmas Eve Mass.
They're sure that Kevin is going to want to check out an Exy game. They're mostly sure that Matt will want to check out the LEGO store in downtown manhattan and that Aaron will be as excited for that as Matt is but pretending not to be. Nicky wants to catch a drag show and has made it clear that he will be going regardless of what anyone else wants to do. Andrew and Neil will probably just want to be alone when they have the chance though Neil had expressed some prior interest in the EXITES superstore and Andrew will more than likely enjoy the day Allison has planned to go shopping since she wants to update Neil's wardrobe.
The new kid, Smith, will be a mystery, but they're more than willing to be flexible.
Eventually they hear the tell-tale sign of most of the boy's arrival. "Babe!" comes from across the airport and Dan's head shoots up and spots the sight of Matt Boyd approaching his arms out wide almost clotheslining four different families on his way to Dan.
Dan is not much better as she rushes to him arms as wide.
They embrace like they always do whenever they have to spend time apart from one another and Renee knows that part of the reason that Dan took her job as assistant coach where she did is that the Washington State Congress Team had been looking at Matt the year prior to scout him.
She looks beyond the passionate reunion and sees Kevin, Aaron, and Nicky. She frowns brows furrowing...
Weren't they going to bring-
Nicky throws his arm out and it wraps around a kid she hadn't even realized was there. She blinks startled by his sudden appearance and blank expression as Nicky was pointing them out. He points to her and he can see her name on his lips she gives a wave and a smile.
Smith nods back in greeting.
He seems quite nice.
***
Renee is at the end of her proverbial rope.
This kid is a threat and she doesn't understand how she's the only person who can see it.
Being a threat isn't really an issue when you're a Fox. It's almost a given that there's some part of you that can be dangerous when backed into a corner but no one seems to be treating him like a threat.
She watches as Nicky and Matt throw their arms around him. As Kevin pushes smoothie after smoothie into his hands as he blankly sips. As Andrew and Neil sit with him quietly. As Dan pinches his cheeks. As Aaron ribs him for being bad at MarioKart.
She can't feel anything from him, no joy, no anger, nothing.
She can't even track him.
Renee has always prided herself on her ability to keep track of those around her. Spacial awareness was incredibly important when you're in a fight and it had always been one of her strongest points. She always knew where she was in relation to everyone else.
Except Smith.
The kid had given her no shortage of heart attacks as he appeared and disappeared seemingly at random.
She had finally gotten Andrew alone to ask, "Smith's quiet, non-intrusive." Andrew says with a shrug.
There's just something about him that makes the hair on the back of Renee's neck stand on edge and she hates feeling like she's the only one. She hates it even more that there's no real evidence that there's something amiss with this newest Fox.
So she settles in to watch.
They're out shopping and Allison is doing her best to get Neil a proper wardrobe with Andrew's considerable help, AKA nodding in approval when Neil comes out. She's not skimping on any of them but Neil is her main focus.
"Smith, what's a color you like?" Allison asks as she's looking at hoodies.
"I like purple." Smith answers and Renee barely manges to stop herself from flinching as his voice comes from right next to her.
"Pass." Andrew says as Neil comes out in a charmingly orange sweatshirt.
"I like it!" Neil argues.
"You have 10 sweatshirts that are that exact shade of orange." Andrew dismisses. "Try the blue one." he says pushing Neil back into the dressing room.
"Which one?" Neil asks.
Andrew sighs dramatically in a way that lets Renee know that he's doing exactly what he wants to be doing, "I'll show you." he says going into the dressing room with Neil.
"I still don't know how it took Baltimore for me to realize they were together." Nicky says as he's holding up two different purple sweatshirts to Smith's body. "You look good in a more purpley purple." Nicky says putting the more indigo colored sweatshirt back on the rack.
"Pants are coming up next, I'll get a lay of the land. I know everyone else's but Smith what's your height?" Allison asks.
"Five feet, nine inches." Smith answers as Nicky pushes him towards the dressing room. "Nicky it's a sweatshirt, I can put it on out here." Smith says.
"I know but I need an excuse to go back there and make sure Neil and Andrew aren't defiling a dressing room." Nicky says with a grin that implies he'd be more happy if they were.
"Gross." Aaron says as he takes a picture of himself to send to Katelyn to approve of the new outfit that Allison was pushing for him to get. "Wait," he pauses turning to where Allison was looking through various men's pants, "you know our heights? Like you've memorized them?" he asks.
"Yeah." Allison says looking at a pair of black slacks. "Everyone's measurements." she says nodding to herself.
"Even bust sizes?" he asks, voice not as quiet as he likely thinks it is.
"You're such a boy." Allison laughs not even looking up from the very different rack.
"How much longer are we going to be here?" Kevin asks with a sigh.
"Well, at least the time that it took you to ask that longer. We'll be done when we're done Kevin." Dan says long having given up on stopping Allison when the woman is on a spree.
"She knows that EXITES closes at 5 PM right?" Kevin asks.
"More importantly," Matt leans in, "that the LEGO store closes at 8 PM right?" Matt asks.
"How is that more important? The LEGO store is open later?" Kevin asks.
"Because we're not going to EXITES today, but we are going to the LEGO store." Matt says.
"If we don't spend the whole day here we can do both-"
"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Dan says with a sigh.
"But-"
"We're not going to EXITES today Kevin." Renee says with an apologetic smile.
"But-"
"Kevin, we're not going to EXITES today. Just sit down and let me find pants that'll make your pin-up days look tame in comparison." Allison says.
"That's not what those posters were!" Kevin argues with a blush on his face.
"Sure." Allison dismisses
***
Renee is quite happy with the sundresses she found even if they won't do her any good here in New York City during the Christmas break. Their next stop on their shopping day is over to the LEGO store where Matt makes no attempt to hide his enthusiasm as Aaron very valiantly does try to pretend like he's not utterly entranced by the sets and builds.
Renee thinks it's all very charming.
"We could have gone to EXITES." Kevin says with a frown as he looks at a build of an Exy racquet. "Can you take my picture with this?" he asks but he's not quite looking at Renee.
"Sure." Smith says from beside her, where he had apparently been.
"Thanks Smiths." Kevin says and stands next to the Exy racquet of LEGOs and crosses his arms and leans back.
"Kevin, stop posing like this will be for the cover of a Forbes Magazine." Andrew says with a sigh as he comes to stand on Renee's other side.
"Shut up, it's a picture for me!" Kevin says and continues to stand with his arms crossed.
"Oh, can you get a picture of me next Smith?" Neil asks coming up eyes shining in excitement as he looks at the racquet.
"Sure. As an apology for letting Nicky-"
"Don't talk about it." Neil and Andrew say at the same time.
Kevin gets his picture and then Andrew hands his phone to Smith for Neil's since Neil had broken the lens on his camera ages ago.
They wander around and Kevin finds a set to build the National Court that he grabs without a second thought. Neil and Andrew find a little LEGO man of Kevin that they buy as their 'preferred Kevin'. Kevin of course threatens to buy their LEGO figures once they have them and refer to them as his 'preferred Andrew and Neil'. A threat that neither of them comment on but Renee does buy the little Jean Moreau she finds. She'll paint it Trojan colors and send it over to him as a little gift.
As she continues to browse with her purchase in hand she hears Nicky, "Smithy, if you like it you should get it!" Nicky insists.
"Is it the price?" Allison asks.
"Yeah, I don't want to spend that much." Smith says with a nod expression still worryingly blank.
"When's your birthday? It can just be an early or a late present from me." Allison asks.
"March 1st, but really I'm fine not getting it." Smith shakes his head. "It's not that I'd like it just my little brother liked trains." he says and Renee watches Nicky's face turn from joyful teasing to intense determination.
"We're getting this set." Nicky says grabbing it and marching over to the counter even as Smith followed after him.
Interesting.
***
They finish off their day with some ice skating.
Matt, Aaron, Andrew, and Kevin all fall into the 'challenged' category.
They get on the ice and all four immediately fall. Renee stifles her laughter as Andrew and Aaron scowl. "Are you okay?" Smith asks and Renee almost loses her balance as he skates by her.
"Why the fuck are you good at skating?" Aaron asks scowling even as he takes Smith hand. Renee skates over and offers a hand to Kevin as Matt and Andrew are being helped up by their respective partners.
"Oh," Allison says skating by, "have you been up to Canada or something often?" she asks.
"I've been to Canada a few times. It's more that there was a rink I would go to every once in a while." Smith answers before turning back to Aaron, "I can help you keep balanced." he says offering his other hand.
"Smith, I don't want to hold your hand. That's kind of gay." Aaron huffs letting go of Smith's hand only to immediately beef it again when he tried to move forward.
***
Skating was fun even if Aaron kept blushing as Smith helped him skate since he never really got his 'ice legs'. The rest of them all more or less skated on their own by the end or, in the case of Andrew and Matt, seemed fine to keep skating while holding on.
Renee was warming herself by the fireplace in Allison's home enjoying some hot chocolate as Allison took a seat next to her. There was a lot of commotion in the kitchen as the team was working to make dinner together. Renee had excused herself after Smith had startled her while she had a knife in hand and she'd almost stabbed him on instinct.
She's just relieved that no one seemed to notice the near murder.
"You okay? You seemed tense in there." Allison asks.
Well, almost no one.
"Yes, I'm fine." she smiles and hopes that Allison will believe it.
Allison looks at her and Renee does have the benefit that Allison is slightly drunk since she was told firmly not to help with the cooking since she'd paid for the majority of the day.
"I'm glad I got you alone, there's something I want to hear your opinion on." Allison says deciding, apparently, to let it go for now.
Renee relaxes smiling at her friend, "What's that?" she asks wondering what purchase or thing unpurchased Allison was regretting.
Allison looks at Renee, expression utterly serious. "Don't you think there's something...weird about this kid?" she asks.
Renee straightens up glad that Allison had also felt like something was off with the kid that her friends had brought along. "What do you mean?" she asks wanting to hear what Allison thought.
"Look, he seems really nice. I mean a little too nice to be a Fox to be honest but I mean I guess you're a Fox as well so..." Allison rambles slightly taking another sip of her wine.
"Yes, go on." Renee nods.
"Yeah, he seems nice and Matt said he's got his own stuff even if he didn't wanna go into what that stuff was." Allison continues and it's a good thing Allison is drinking white wine considering the white carpet and her gesticulations. "But...it's just.. okay you can't make fun of me. Even though this is about to sound crazy." Allison says.
"I would never do something like that." Renee swears.
"Promise me." Allison says expression grave as she lifts up a pinky.
Renee smiles despite herself and hooks her pinky with Allison's, "I promise to not make fun of you." she swears other hand over her cross.
"I think he's Justin Bieber."
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
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skeletal-butterflyy · 3 months
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OH MY FUCK WILL IS A WIZARD!
Stay with me now, I made a post a month-ish ago analyzing D&D in stranger things (which I recommend you read *winkity wink*), specifically addressing the party’s characters. We all know that Mike said that Will is a cleric in s2 to Max. BUT, it can be confusing because will’s character is named “Will the Wise” and he is dressed like a wizard. One might be able to argue, “well his name and clothes don’t mean that much to his class” well yeah you’d be right. But one thing that DOES showcase the class of a character is the moves they are able to make.
Clerics are able to cast spells based on the domain they occupy/the god they serve. To my knowledge, wizards don’t really have this problem of needing to be in a certain domain to cast a certain spell.
In s1 ep 01 Will casts fireball, a spell that can be cast by a Wizard or a Cleric, if they occupy the light domain. Recently I saw a post that showed this screenshot from s2
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And I noticed the spell that Mike was talking about in his story. Fog Cloud is a spell that can be cast by multiple classes but most notably by Wizards and Clerics in the Water Domain.
It’s not very practical for a Cleric to occupy multiple domains for storytelling aspects but also, it makes the Cleric’s gameplay just a little overpowered.
So basically, Will probably isn’t occupying two domains and is more likely a Wizard. Which begs the question, why did Mike say he was a cleric?
TLDR; Two spells specifically mentioned in the show to be casted by Will can only be casted by him if he is a Wizard or Cleric occupying multiple domains, which doesn’t really make sense.
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zuiz41 · 2 months
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Happy Birthday to Our Dearest Setter! <3
He's 30** this year, can y'all believe that?
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feroluce · 5 months
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Connecting dots tonight (didn't connect shit, I've connected them, etc) because of this post about item descriptions to do with Sampo I saw a few days ago and! I feel like there are so many interesting things that could be implied from this!! Because the recipe for the High-Tech Protective Gear is given to you by Bronya (before the IPC invaded Belobog!), who says this little interesting tidbit about it:
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This is an item from before the Eternal Freeze, 700 years ago. Even to the rest of the universe, it would be SORELY outdated. It cannot be made in Belobog anymore due to the loss of entire eras. It is effectively useless; this recipe had to be somewhere gathering dust, kept around solely for archival purposes. There is no reason for Sampo to know about this item or have any idea how it works and yet. AND YET. He's just running around selling knock offs!!
He shouldn't even know how to make these, but the fact that he does means Sampo either
had the blueprints from off-world before he came to Belobog (most likely but also most boring answer)
broke into Qlipoth Fort and copied down the blueprints (completely plausible - he's possibly shown doing exactly that in his splash art)
found another copy out in the ruins of the old world (also completely plausible - Sampo is astoundingly resilient against both the Fragmentum and the cold, as noted by Lynx haha)
Meanwhile, the Inferior Protective Gear recipe comes from an NPC in the underground, and when she gives it to you, she talks about building robots and the robot fighting scene sorry about the quality I didn't have screenshots for her dialogue so I had to use wiki
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Which makes me feel like it's safe to say that the inferior gear is mostly being used in the underground, especially by the vagrants and their robots for fights, because...well, who else would use it? Cocolia has made it illegal to explore too far into the Snow Plains, and besides, it's way too dangerous for most civilians even WITH gear. The Silvermane Guards are funded by official sources, they have no reason to rely on Sampo for armor. So it makes sense for an underground mechanic to know the recipe; there's probably not as much market for it up in the overworld.
And if you look at the descriptions, you can see why this probably wasn't something that could be made in Belobog anymore; it requires a charging system of some sort.
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We know it's not a problem with the basic materials because all three ingredients can be found right in the administrative district. But the underground only has two of them; somehow, despite being in the planet's crust, and literally crawling with robots...there is no metal down there. It isn't found anywhere, sold by anyone, or dropped by anything. And metal just so happens to be the one ingredient Sampo replaces in his knock off version.
The Inferior Gear uses trash instead, something which, going by the words of that same mechanic, is MORE than abundant in the underground- any good quality parts are extremely difficult to come by down there.
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Anyway, all his shadiness aside, I love the implication that Sampo is smart enough to be able to take this item that no one else on the planet probably knows anything about, and was able to figure out what he could replace, and how, and with what, in order to make it easily accessible to the people of the underground, even without access to overworld resources. Because his version DOES work! It literally gives you the exact same amount of defense boost as the IPC one!
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Someone should absolutely still knock him around for it, though, world's most slappable face fr fjkdsjfdkjafk
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satsuha · 2 months
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wait how could i forget... literally drew tmhk AA au bc it wouldn't stop eating at my brain
i didn't think it through too much but the way the games really emphasize the defense's mindset of "always believing in your client" vs many of the prosecutors' methods of always aiming for a guilty verdict... i can see tmhk thriving in those respective roles
i think it's also nice that they both have information-gathering path actions but both coerce and bribe are pretty shady in this context LOL
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