#he really only uses placeholders like uh and um | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foxys-fantasy-tales · 2 years ago

Note

Made to taste?

Here's a bit about the WIP Made to Taste! Only a month or so before I enter a full read through and edit, then final edits. This doesn't take me near as long as drafting does, so the book should make its October 2023 release date!

Made to Taste (WIP)

Made this placeholder cover in Canva, may or may not be final cover

(critique of racial relations and capitalism, LGBTQIA+ Rep, monsters and mayhem, dark boy and maybe not sunshine but optimistic girl, meet cute, Terrible CEO villains, small business owning woman protag, magical races in modern day, first kiss, ferris wheels, cute confessions and fluffy moments mixed with helping one another during awful ordeals, they were roommates)

Status: Possible series in the works. Book one draft is complete and editing begins soon. Book two draft in progress as well.

Genres: Urban fantasy, Romance, Paranormal Audience: Adult, maybe YA Length: Not yet complete - Book One possible in 2023

When Lyra Morley accepted a rough and tumble new hire from her bar, she didn't think he would end up her new roommate in a week. Noel Akatash brings his own debts, and the people holding the accounts aren't to be trifled with. Magical home invasions aside, Lyra is more worried about her business serving the city nightlife any food she can handle all made to order.

Cooking with a halfbreed's sense of smell comes with its perks, and one of them is that she can hide her skills in the kitchen so no one is any wiser about her true nature. The night-only diner called Made to Taste is meant to be a haven for those the city would rather keep buried. Lyra, the pacifist and abstinent dhampir, would fight to keep it safe. Good thing Noel knows a thing or two about being scrappy.

Now that you know about the story, I'll choose to share an excerpt.

He was close enough he felt her shiver. He was going to make the IV upset, but he pulled out what was in his arm. His jacket was draped across Lyra before settling back in. "If that's not enough I'll get closer to you," he said bluntly. He shut up the alarm and settled. No one wanted to deal with the crazy demon that near caused a shootout in the hallway anyway.

"You did drive the doctors away, and likely the nurses too." So no new supplies until they had to. Noel had that partially covered. She watched him reach through the void at their mutual boredom and retrieve one of her romance novels from home and a thermos full of soup.

She slapped the spine of the book on his leg. "I thought you said the void didn't like you much? You still use it a lot, even with the effects."

"Just cause it doesn't like me doesn't mean I can't smack it around," he replied. “A little blood and headache is nothing." He wiped off red from his nose. “Though I won't use it to like, uh... fight the gods or anything. It's a very delicate balance."

He didn't get so much as a chuckle. A bookmark was taken from the middle and laid on the blanket between them as she continued her tale from their bookstore reading session. Her blood pressure and heartrate fell low again, enough so the machine started to complain.

As it beeped, it drew the demon's concern back to her. He looked up to see if anyone else was coming along. "Um. Lyra, I know books are relaxing, but fuck. Are you sure you're okay?" He glanced back at the monitor. It beeped once every few seconds it seemed. "That seems wrong," he said nervously, eyes locked to the small mountains that jumped up in too few motions.

She looked up. Oh no. "Uh, it's, it's fine, really. I um, usually run low."

He hummed at it. "There's almost definitely something wrong with your circulatory system then. I know you don't have insurance but Rowan's bankrolling this. We should really get you to see someone."

"R-Right." She couldn't very well deny the virtue in that, if she hadn't tried it once before herself only to get stupefied looks and bills that took her years to pay down. Noel didn't know a lot about the norm for human vitals, not that it would actually help in her case. He couldn't know. No one could.

The hesitancy bothered him. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm your roommate not your keeper."

"I'd really rather not." The words rushed out much too fast, but she couldn't care. The relief was palpable. "I've tried before and it was nothing but bad." She nearly ended up a research participant.

The flare of her Fade was awful splinters of cold blue fear struck through the flickering yellow of her base. Yellow. It was always a color that meant happiness to his eyes. Whatever weird thing Roseanne did, he was still feeling some of the after effects, or maybe it was the morphine dripping through him. He saw what the nurse put in. They all wanted to make him docile. All it did was make him relaxed and vaguely affectionate. He wanted to say more for some reason. Instead he asked, "What happened? I told the docs that you were hesitant about doctors. I just kinda figured that from the fact that disabled people tend to be as a rule. Was there anything um, specific I guess? Anything I should be worried about or know?"

"Disabled? I'm not, well..." She closed her eyes to the blinding white of the room and tried to relax. "They told me the facts of what the tests said, but they couldn't tell me why after so many trips, so many needles, and so many hours just waiting. Then, they wanted to put me in studies for more of the same, all the while saying 'maybe' this will lead to something. Maybe we'll find some weird drug to help, but nothing ever truly did. I got tired after years of it. I just... I couldn't handle the disappointment anymore, the stares, the people annoyed, disbelieving, or overly intrigued by me."

"Yeah. There's a word for that," he chuckled. "Disabled. When you're sick and it won't get better, and no one seems to know why is a common bonus. Especially for Nightkin. Bastards... I guess I get it though. In my own case, you get a drop of demon blood and suddenly every witch in the tri-state area wants a piece," he sighed and shrugged. "Nothing your parents can say either about it?"

"N-No. I said I didn't have a good um... Mom died when I was five and I haven't talked to dad at all since I turned eighteen. He sort of kicked me out,” she said with a diminishing shrug.

"Oh. Bitch," he scoffed before a light flicked in his brain. "Ah. That's why you took me in." He grinned.

"Huh? It's not a negligible reason I guess. I never thought of it that way. I just wanted to help out.”

"Course you did. You've had a rough go of it and you wanna make sure no one else does. It's a remarkably fleeting quality in your species." He stared at the panels on the ceiling. He tried to reach his hand up to stretch, but it fell back to his side. The void still had him exhausted. "But not like we're much better. Kindness is universal, as is cruelty. I dunno. I hit my head really hard. I'm not speaking like I'm used to. I kind of feel....younger almost." Noel took a deep breath. Whether it was due to the presence around him or the meds still floating within, in either case he felt lighter. "Anyway. I'll be out of here first probably. I'll make sure the ship's ready for you."

A smile twitched onto her lips. Her species, right, whatever that was. In the end, she was alone in that too. Lyra rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "I appreciate it, really. See? You give right back. Not a charity case at all. You're too stubborn to be."

He chuckled and nodded. "Damn straight. I have too much in me to just take. I have to give back. I'm immortal, powerful, and was at one point wealthy. When you have gifts it is your duty to share them, I say. Listen to me. Sounding all educated."

"You certainly sound less like the man who walked in bloody off the street and scowled at me for giving him extras on his fries for free,” she teased.

He scoffed and settled back in the bed, trying to muster up his fury, his rage, his indignant purpose. He found none of it. Instead there was only a soft feeling that he imagined to be yellow in him as well. Anger ignited in his breast again. How cruel it was to be able to see all the colors in the world except his own. Rage died as he looked back at her. "When you're not being a pain in my ass, you're surprisingly calming I guess. I've only known a few people like you before who have this effect on me. Rowan's one of 'em." He shifted his focus to the TV. "I've now decided you can't die." Lyra's chuckle cut over a kiss shared on screen. Music swelled, but she wasn't paying any attention. It did cut off the sound of the monitors enough that she felt normal for a moment. "I don't know if you're that powerful, but I appreciate not dying yet. Thank you for helping me." Her eyes were starting to droop again from all the medicine in her system. Drips from the IV were few and far between. They would be shooting her up with more soon, surely. As she slumped, her head ended up on his shoulder. "Take as good care of...Sheryl and...Rosie. The captain will be back on ship soon. I promise."

#long post #wip excerpt #made to taste

2 notes · View notes

gaoau · 1 year ago

Text

eminence

it's the color of recognition.

is there color in your world? warnings — none. word count — 1.7k

prev. — next.

"what's that?" rintarou pointed subtly towards a girl a few desks away.

[name] lined her vision with his, finding the scrunchie he was looking at. she hummed in thought. "hm, burnt umber."

a chuckle fell and his shoulder bounced. he turned his eyes to another student at the same table. "what about that?"

"her phone thingy?"

"phone case, yeah."

"uh, mint cream?" her brows furrowed, her lips puckered as she bit the inside of her cheeks. "um, extremely light spring green, ta play it safe."

"why can't you just say blue-green like a normal person?"

she threw a playful slap at his shoulder. "hey, we had this conversation before. it's spring green, i don't make the rules."

"yet you enforce them." his elbow poked into her gut. he didn't need to remind himself she wasn't one of the twins anymore.

atsumu smirked, pleased at the sound of laughter and giggles. his brows danced amused as he set his lunch down on his self-assigned seat. his brother settled beside him.

rintarou nodded towards osamu. "what's osamu's hair color?"

"i'd say… spanish grey, maybe? greys're tricky, specially when they've a little hue, i needa see 'em up close." she used her fingers to reel osamu into her. it was funny how he simply leaned in without questions; [name] worked like bait for dumb fish sometimes.

"i think you mentioned something like that." had he said that before? probably. he always kept her babbling safe in the corner of his mind to stay on the same track as her.

she blew a raspberry while squinting at osamu's dyed hair. "can i touch it?"

"what?"

"yer undercut."

"sure?"

her fingertips pressed against the short hair behind osamu's ear. she snorted to herself at its particular feeling. before rintarou could jokingly ask—out of spite—how soft osamu's undercut was compared to his own hair, the one she actively played with almost every morning, [name]'s attention returned to him.

a content smile pulled at her lips. "s'a warm grey, somethin' along the lines of stone grey, maybe even cinereous."

"choose one."

"uh, cinereous."

"final answer?"

"final answer, sir."

ginjima joined just in time to hear their exchange and wonder what exactly went on in [name]'s head. he wasn't one to question his friends' choices, but seeing rintarou with someone like her, as nice as she was, simply didn't make much sense. he shared a glance with the twins, equally as clueless when it came to her words.

"then what's atsumu's?" rintarou motioned his chin towards atsumu.

"oh, a terrible choice, really. 'm glad i can't find a name for it 'cause that color ain't flatterin' on anyone."

"hey!"

everyone collectively cackled at atsumu's expense. the grin tugging at the corner of his lips betrayed him as he choked down his own laughter. ginjima kicked his previous thoughts into the trash; he could see why rintarou liked this girl.

"and gin's?"

"i'll stick with spanish grey for 'im; spanish grey with a yellow hue-shift."

"okay then, if i'm black and white, and atsumu is flirt, what are these two?"

[name] hummed. her teeth trapped the inside of her cheek. "well, 'samu-kun gives me eminence vibes. an' i'd say gin-kun's, uh," she drew out her pondering. the gears in her head creaked with rust. "maybe i should get ta know 'im better."

rintarou raised a brow at her as she burned holes into ginjima's hair. what was the criteria? she had dubbed the student council president as a cyan typa guy not long after meeting him, yet poor ginjima only brought endless thinking and hesitation. whatever, he really didn't care much.

"but for now, i think wild blue yonder fits? s'patented by crayola, so works as a placeholder."

he allowed his thoughts to dissolve into a joyous smile. "you really don't like crayola."

[name] shrugged animatedly at him, mirroring the gesture on his face. just as quick, her eyes darted back to ginjima. "on that topic, could either gin-kun or 'tsumu-kun tutor me in math?"

"whaddaya mean topic?"

"[name]? we're literally in the same class."

she glanced between rintarou and osamu. "well, yeah, but… y'know." her features scrunched into a grimace.

"least i know what the retina is"

"'twas a genuine question, 'samu-kun! i forgot!"

"let's go back to colors, you seem to be good at that."

"fancy way ta say i'm dumb." she struggled to etch a frown onto her brows.

rintarou mocked her with a flash of his teeth. "thanks, i'm here all week." [name] huffed. he chuckled to himself. "enlighten us, what's eminence?"

her pitiful attempt at an offended scowl vanished into nothingness; it wasn't meant to stay with her for long. her eyes flickered to osamu as if he hadn't just reminded her of the stupid questions she asked in class.

"s'a shade of purple. less magenta than flirt, so i think it fits more." her palms waved in the air towards both twins. "eminence means recognition in a particular sphere. at first glance, i woulda given it to 'tsumu-kun, but then i realized he was bolder than that, hence, flirt." her phone slid out from the sleeve of her shirt and she tapped away at her screen. her nails clicked against the glass with every letter she typed.

as a background whisper, atsumu asked, "what's flirt? why am i flirt?"

rintarou lifted his head from [name]'s phone to the—debatably—better twin. he locked eyes with atsumu. his own less saturated, watered-down shade of jonquil, moral yellow eyes dug into whatever color atsumu's were.

"here, this is eminence." [name] swiped one last time at her screen before raising it for osamu to see.

"i like it. thanks for the compliment."

"oh, yer welcome."

she felt rintarou's elbow stab her side as he piped up, "what's yours?"

"my what?"

"your color."

[name] blinked. her expression shrank into blankness. her pupils seem to dilate like those of a cat. rintarou cringed at the knife she drove into his chest with eyes that glared off at something only she could see. silence seeped into the atmosphere and overflowed under their skin.

when she blinked again, a weightless smile crawled onto her lips. her shoulders rose and lowered in a loose shrug. "i dunno." she averted her gaze down to her locked phone and sucked air in through closed teeth. "yikes, i gotta go meet with the student prez. see ya, guys."

rintarou could only catch a blurry image of her waving fingers. he nodded out of reflex, muttering, "see you?" he turned to his friends to see the same confusion plastered across their faces.

"that was… interestin'."

osamu nodded to ginjima's words. "didn't expect that answer."

"no, but why am i flirt?" atsumu held his head in his hands. everyone considered decking him.

#is there color in your world?#Haikyuu #Suna Rintarou #Suna Rintarou x Reader #Suna x Reader #Haikyuu x Reader

1 note · View note

laineverse · 2 years ago

Text

first post I'll set up the blog later but here's the forbidden kyo and kit lore (copy pasted from a discord message sorry for the formatting) also ableism tw for mental illness (specifically psychosis)

so kyo's original story is that he's just Some Guy who has amnesia and lost his memories right. so he decides to join the military to get them back because. I was a fullmetal alchemist fan. anyway he gets a special gun that's actually a possessive demon in disguise. this demon decides to talk to kyo but only when they're alone to fuck with kyo and make him convince himself that he's psychotic and hallucinating which slowly descends him into a paranoid state. kyo decides to name them "it" becaues they refuse to give a name and he doesn't respect them <3

anyway it ends up possessing kyo and the form that they take is kyo but with grey eyes. and it was like. woah. I'm NOT hallucinating. holy shit. so now they have this connection thing where they can feel each other's physical pain and have telepathy and now kyo has cool demon powers and the contract can only be ended through killing kyo

I end up changing it to so that they're twins and this is where it gets real fucky. I get rid of the army concept and decide that Kyo is a guy who's been locked up in the insane asylum because he keeps hallucinating the ghost of his twin (still named It I will get to their name later) and he's like "guys I swear I'm not schizophrenic please" and as it turns out kyo was the only one who could see it because. sighs. in codorverse lore to become a demon you have to lead a life full of sin as a human and when you die you get sent to hell and then come back as a demon that matches your life as a human. kit however...... died in a car crash in the womb. so I don't know why they're a demon? but I'm gonna go with they tried to absorb kyo in the womb.

the run because uh oh!! it turns out that hospital was actually being used for GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENTS TO BE USED TO HUNT DOWN DEMONS!!!! also kyo still has amnesia at this point and kyo is not his real name, at this point kyo's name is matthew and kit's name is brandon. the names are because of two storm chasers I really loved but we won't get into that now I eventually decided to introduce a... second? demon that can possess kyo however they can actually possess BOTH him and kit. their name was mr. psycho. I ended up getting rid of them but I brought them back as luca a couple years ago

Um yeah that's og codorverse lore circa 2013 but they went through different backstories since then hope you guys enjoy <3 btw I wrote this when I was like 11

OH RIGHT KIT'S NAME kyo and it were placeholder names. I did not change kit's name to kit until 2020. I ended up keeping kyo.

#kyo #kit #ableism tw #codorverse lore #welcome to my blog this is the first impression. sorry

1 note · View note

whumpzone · 3 years ago

Text

Linden & Colton - 19

(masterpost)

CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation

Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.

Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.

lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day

are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something

you know you miss me!!

Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.

fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc

That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:

Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.

Vik replied almost immediately.

yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!

He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.

He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”

“Hey, big man. You alright?”

“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”

“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”

Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”

“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”

“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”

“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”

“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.

“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”

“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”

“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.

“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”

Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”

“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”

“See you, Pet man!”

Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.

. . .

He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.

He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.

Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.

“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”

Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.

“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”

The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.

“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”

He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?

Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.

But-

The next day-

It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-

Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.

All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.

The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”

. . .

Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.

“Col?” he said. “What is it?”

“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”

“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.

“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.

Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”

“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”

Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.

“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”

Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.

“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”

He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”

“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.

“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”

“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.

“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”

Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.

“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”

“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.

“Well�� actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”

“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”

“The ladies love it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”

. . .

Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.

Before that, though-

Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.

Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.

The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.

“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.

“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”

He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.

. . .

Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.

You see, see what I mean? See how he is?

Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.

I’m sorry.

Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.

He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.

“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”

He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.

“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”

As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”

It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.

The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.

first half of the taglist!

@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread

@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate

#linden and colton #pet whump #noncon tw

332 notes · View notes

nagito-kissmaeda · 4 years ago

Text

Mr. Komaeda’s Lesson

THE FILTH ARRIVES

Summary: You should really proofread your assignments before submitting them... AKA: Professor Komaeda fucks you over his desk (literally my dream) Word count: 4258 Contains: she/her pronouns, explict sexual content, unsafe sex, professor/student relationships, gentle dom nagito (he’s very gentle i swear) Read on AO3 ミ☆ Please send me a DM or an ask if you’d like me to write something for you!

The soothing smell of camomile lemon tea wafts around the small office. The blinds are half open, casting the orange light of the setting sun across the smooth leaves of a peace lily that resides in a pot hanging in front of the heating unit. The warm air rocks it gently back and forth. The atmosphere in the room is light and pleasant, but it does nothing to ease your nerves.

“Do you want some?” Professor Komaeda asks as he pours himself a cup of the aforementioned camomile lemon tea. He has a little teapot sitting on his desk, it’s very cute.

You clear your throat, fidgeting in your seat, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

“Okay, let’s get started then, shall we?”

You’ve been dreading this meeting for weeks now. Your professor had been very insistent that this wouldn’t be a discussion about the quality of your work, but more about what he could do to help you maintain focus in lectures. There was also a brief mention about your most recent assignment, he said that he wasn’t concerned, but did want to run through a few things with you.

He was very polite about it, which makes the true nature of your distraction only more reprehensible.

“So, first I want to start with a simple question. How are you doing?”

“Uh, fine?”

He nods and takes a sip of his tea, “No problems outside of our classes? You don’t need to answer if you aren’t comfortable.”

“No i- uh. I’m fine outside of classes too.” You fidget again, twisting your hands in your lap, “I’ve been...tired? But that’s my fault, I stay up too late.”

He hums thoughtfully and rests his chin on the palm of his hand, “Could that be having an affect on your focus? I can see that you have been distracted in our most recent lectures and just want to make sure it isn’t a fault of myself or my material.” He laughs a little to himself, “I know I can be a little boring sometimes.”

Professor Komaeda is not boring. He’s probably the most engaging lecturer you’ve ever had, passionate about his subject matter and very enthusiastic about class participation. He also wears really tight trousers and has long dexterous fingers that you can't help imagining inside of your-

“I mean, being tired could be the problem?” A bold faced lie.

“Well in that case there isn’t much more I can suggest than a good night's rest.” He gives you a long look that makes you squirm in your seat, “I only graduated a few years ago myself, I understand the urge to make the most of your day, but you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.” He takes another sip of his tea, a drop misses his mouth and rolls down his chin. He catches it with his thumb, which he then brings up to his lips and sucks. You swallow deeply, tearing your eyes from where his lips are meeting his skin. Your knee starts bouncing. Nerves.

“Would it help if you sat a little closer to the front of the lecture hall?”

It wouldn’t. Especially not on warm days when he loosens his tie and undoes the first three buttons on his shirt. You spent a whole lecture transfixed on the dip of his collarbones once. Not great for your note taking, “maybe I’ll give that a go next week” you say. Another lie.

“Okay, try that out and let me know if it helps.” He gently sets down his teacup and starts working his white hair up into a bun. His fingers are so delicate as he combs through the strands, pulling his hair up and away from his pale throat, exposing the length of it to your hungry eyes-

A noise escapes from your mouth. Almost a whine, but not quite. Professor Komaeda doesn't say anything, but his intense eyes meet yours for just a moment. You clench your thighs together.

“Are you ready to talk about your assignment now?” He asks, picking the teacup again. It’s decorated with sunflowers, almost criminally cute, “No reason to be nervous. I want to make it clear that this matter hasn't had any affect on your grade, just some advice for next time.”

You nod shakily. Despite all of his reassurances, you are still very nervous. Partially because you wanted a good grade, partially because you had worked on that essay day and night with the intention of impressing him. So stupid.

He gives you a pleasant smile and rifles through his desk for a moment, pulling out what you quickly recognise as a printed copy of your essay, “Take a look, i want to see if you can figure it out first.”

“Um...okay…” You skip past the title page and into the meat of the essay, reading through all of your points and making sure there weren't any obvious spelling mistakes. There wasn't anything that you could see, “Sorry...um...what page is it on?”

His teacup clinks when he sets it down again, leaning forward on his elbows and resting his chin on his hands. You can feel your heart fluttering in your chest, your palms are getting sweaty, “It’s on the title page actually. I’m surprised you didn't notice it.”

You shoot him a quizzical look and flip back to the first page. Your stomach plummets.

Titles have never been your thing, summing up an entire essay in just a few words isn’t easy, so you usually use a placeholder right up until you submit it. You remember changing it, you remember triple checking it was changed before you emailed it through. But something must have gone wrong because in big bold capital letters, the title of you assignment reads:

ESSAY SO GOOD PROFESSOR KOMAEDA WILL FUCK ME OVER HIS DESK

Your hands are shaking, the edges of the paper crinkling under your tight grip. You are going to fail...you are going to be expelled...you are going to-

“Ah. I see you’ve realised your mistake, hm?”

Your head shoots up, forgetting for a moment that he is still sitting across from you.

“Professor...I-I’m...obviously I’m…” you can’t get out a goddamn sentence, your mouth has all dried up, “I don’t even...I can’t…”

You are taken aback, when Professor Komaeda giggles. It’s a light little sound, he covers his mouth with a hand, “You are very bold, aren’t you?”

“I….”

“No need to worry, I’m not reporting this to the dean or anything like that. I see no reason to expel you over a silly little mistake like this one.”

“You...You dont want me to drop you class?”

He laughs again, you shrink under the intensity of his green eyes, “I’m not going to make you, no. If the situation isn’t going to make it even harder for you to focus during lectures, you can still come to class. I won't stop you, it is your choice.”

He is being remarkably cavalier about all of this, it’s almost unsettling, but you don't want to drop his class so you can't help being grateful, “Thank you so much, I...I promise i won't do this again.”

Professor Komaeda hums aloud, eyes half lidded as he looks at you from across the desk, “Won’t do what again?” he asks, though honestly its more of a purr, “Won’t think about me fucking you, or wont make the mistake of writing it down?”

Hearing the word fuck drop from that perfect mouth of his sends you into overdrive. Your thighs are clamped so tight together that your legs are shaking, you can feel yourself breathing hard, “I...uh...I....” you swallow, “I won't do...either?”

“There's no need to lie to me.” He breathes, standing up from his chair and rounding the desk. You can feel yourself quivering in his shadow, he towers over you. Your breath catches in your throat when one of his hands makes contact with your chin, slowly lifting your head up until you meet his eyes. His expression is positively hungry, “I want to make something very clear. This is your chance to leave, if you do we will never speak of this again. If you don’t, well…”

All you can do is stare at him, mouth going dry with realisation.

“Your essay was very good, by the way.” He leans down until his nose is almost pressed against yours, you can smell the tea on his breath. You can feel the warmth of his skin, you can count his eyelashes, “Good enough that i’ll fuck you over my desk if you still want me to.”

In a moment of hungry lucidity, you grab him by the tie and tug his lips down to yours. Colliding in a positively ferocious kiss. You feel him laugh against your mouth before he slips his tongue in between your lips and traces your upper row of teeth, his tongue is wet and warm, your thighs are rubbing together as you grow desperate for any sort of friction. Professor Komaeda must be in a similar state, because he grabs you by the waist and tugs you up to your feet. Pressed firmly against him like this, you can feel the evidence of his arousal through his slacks, a moan escapes you when you feel his hips buck.

He laughs again, pulling away from your mouth to press a hot kiss to the side of your throat. You feel his long fingers toying with the hemline of your skirt, slowly slipping up underneath it, “These pretty little things…” he whispers, tugging on the top of your thigh high stocking and releasing it with a snap, “do you wear them for me?”

There’s no point lying anymore. You can’t stop shaking, “I...yes…”

You feel him moan against your skin, sinking his teeth into the join between your neck and shoulder, “Did you really think I wouldn’t take notice? Of the way you undress me with your eyes in class, of these tiny little skirts you started wearing?” He grabs a handful of your ass and you squeal, “you’re so gorgeous. You could have anyone in that class if you wanted, but here you are with me-“ he grinds up against you, cock warm and hard through his slacks, “-I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this.”

His voice is so soft and gentle, even while he’s palming your ass and grinding his hips against yours, he still talks like he’s giving a lecture on historical literature. It’s hot, how easily he is able to maintain his composure while you are little more than a quivering mess beneath him, but still...you want to see him come undone.

You hear more than feel your knees colliding with the wooden floorboards. Professor Komaeda is unable to give little more than a surprised look before you have his slacks and boxers shoved halfway down his thighs and his cock in your mouth. He lets out a shocked little moan, burying his long fingers into your hair as his hips stutter forward. Now that was the reaction you wanted.

“Oh...ohhhh-“ he whines, slowly moving himself in and out of your mouth as you tease his head with your tongue, “ahh...your mouth feels so good, angel.”

You were not expecting him to call you angel. It’s like a bolt of lightning to your cunt, your hands jump up the dig deep into the meat of his thighs as you moan downright salaciously around his cock.

“I can feel you moaning.” He whispers, “I can’t believe how much you’re enjoying this” you look up at him through your lashes and see his cheeks are red, his perfect lips are swollen from his biting them incessantly. You moan again just from the sight of him, he hisses and his hips cant forward deeper into your mouth, “wow. You...You really like doing this don’t you? Wrapping your perfect soft lips around my filthy cock?”

Filthy? That makes your eyebrows jump. You could always tell that your professor had some sort of inferiority complex, but you didn't realise it was...this intense.

“S’pretty.” You managed to slur around him, “Tastes good.”

He laughs again, it explodes from his mouth and shakes his shoulders. Unbridled, almost wild. He grins down at you, “I’m sure it doesn’t taste as good at you.” He purrs, tucking your hair behind your ear, “get up on the desk.”

Well, you weren’t going to say no to that. You give his cock one last long lick before standing back up from the floor, just before you hoist yourself up on the table, Professor Komaeda grabs you by the wrist, “Panties off, please.”

You feel yourself turn crimson, but dutifully shimmy out of your panties and let them drop to the floor. He smiles at you, hands curling around your waist as he leans into your ear, “that’s my girl.” He whispers, and lifts you up onto his desk. His hands are cold on the bare skin of your thighs peeking out from the top of your stockings, your stomach twists and curls as he slowly edges your legs open, and drops to his knees between them.

“Oh my god…” you squeak, he’s staring up at you with a look that is downright sinful and he doesn’t break eye contact, even when one of those perfect fingers slips inside you, “agh!”

He chuckles warmly, gently thrusting his finger in and out of you, “you’re so wet, angel...I can’t imagine why someone like me is making you so aroused, but I’m not complaining.”

His finger curls inside of you, and your hips jolt, “Mmph! Pro-Professor I-“

He smiles saccharinely as a second finger pushes its way inside you, “Nagito.” He corrects, pressing a hot kiss to the inside of your thigh, “We’re well beyond the need for formality. Don’t you think?” You cover your mouth to muffle a squeal as he adds a third finger. Your knees are wobbling and you can barely breathe, he’s just sitting between your legs and grinning at you, “Now let’s see if you taste as good as i imagine, hm?”

He pulls your clit in between his lips and sucks. You have to bite down on your hand to keep yourself from screaming, “F-Fuck...Nagito...I--hng!”

“It is after hours, you know.” He whispers, you can feel his breath on your cunt and you shiver, “There’s no reason for you to restrain yourself.” He licks your clit again and moans, “Haa...It may be selfish of me, but i want to hear you. If you’ll let me.”

“Oh god-” You hiss out when his tongue starts circling around you, “-keep doing that, and you’ll hear me alright.”

Nagito giggles and peers up at you, “Then I suppose I'll get back to work.” He hoists your thighs over his shoulders, and starts eating you out in earnest. You lean back on your elbows, and watch his soft white hair bob between your thighs as his tongue works it’s magic, he alternates between running the flat of his tongue up the length of you and focussing directly on your clit. Your toes are curling, mouth wide open with a constant stream of moans and whimpers that you have no hope of stopping. It feels so good, you had dreamt about this alone at night in your bed and even in those fantasies it hadn't felt this good.

His fingers slip out of you, but before you even have a chance to complain, they are replaced with his tongue. You moan so loudly that it rumbles through your chest, your hips rise up to meet his mouth and his hands curl around the soft flesh of your thighs, tugging you even closer. He groans. The wet muscle is slowly thrusting in and out of you when he presses down firm on your clit with his thumb, “I--mmph...Nagito m’gonna cum…” your hips are grinding relentlessly up against his face and you can feel your hair sticking to your forehead with sweat.

“Cum for me, angel.” He whispers, thumb rubbing your clit in brutal circles, “I want to feel you squeezing around my tongue.”

You throw your head back in a howl as his tongue slips back inside, the desk rattling with the force of your quivering hips. You can hear the slick sounds his mouth is making against your cunt, the way he is panting and moaning just from the taste of you. The tightness in your stomach grows unbearable, then he curls his tongue upward, and it snaps. You see whiteness behind your eyes, thighs shaking with the intensity of it. You can feel the vibration of Nagito’s moan inside of you and his fingers dig tight into the meat of your thighs. He’s enjoying your orgasm almost as much as you are.

When he finally pulls away from you, the lower half of his face is glistening with your wetness. He gives you a pleased smile, eyes half lidded as he brings his wet fingers up to his mouth and licks them clean, “I knew you would taste good.” He whispers, wiping the mouth with the back of his hand, “Think you can cum again, angel?”

Just watching him suck on his fingers is enough to get you going again, “Yeah, I definitely can.”

He laughs and stands up from the floor. His cock is flushed red and dripping, you suddenly realise he hadn't touched it that whole time, he must be painfully hard at this point. You lick your lips, you can't help it. He follows your line of sight and smiles, “Be a good girl and bend over the desk for me, please.”

You slide down off the desk, ready to follow his orders but quickly stop yourself, “Oh. One second.”

“Hm?”

You grab the teapot from the desk and quickly rest it on the windowsill, “Sorry. That was a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Ah, yes. You’re right.” His hand slips up to your cheek, thumb resting on your lips. He smiles when you pull it into your mouth and suck, “I’ll have to thank you for saving my carpet. Unless you see any other hazards, i would still like to fuck you.”

That word again. It sounds doubly filthy when he says it, the way his lips mold around it is downright sinful. A shaky moan drops from your mouth as you turn around and do as he asks, your breasts are squished up against the sturdy wood, and the desk is a little too tall for you, your feet are dangling just above the floor. You’re shaking with anticpation, and it grows even worse when you feel the warmth of Nagito’s palm caressing your ass, “For my own peace of mind…” he whispers, his other hand running a finger up the length of your sex, “When do you graduate?”

You laugh, “It’s a little late for that, isn't it, Professor?” you feel his hand still on your ass and you clear your throat, “Uh, this is my last semester. A few months.”

He sighs pleasantly, “Ah, that’s good. This has been very fun, though i'm not sure we should do it again.” You feel the head of his cock kiss your entrance and hiss through your teeth, “At least...not for a few months.” You can hear the smirk on his face.

“I’ve waited this long.” You say, grinding backwards into his cock, “I can wait again.”

He leans down until his mouth is right beside your ear, “Good girl.” He whispers, and finally thrusts inside of you. It feels so good, he fills you so well. Your cheek is pressed firmly against the hard wood of the desk and a pathetic little mewl escapes your mouth at the feeling. You cunt already dripping from your last orgasm, you take him so easily, so smoothly. It feels like he is meant to be inside you.

You feel a hand on your lower back, pushing you further down onto the desk and Nagito hisses through his teeth. Pumping slowly and deeply inside of you, like he is savoring it, “You’re doing so well, angel. I--fuck...You’re so warm.” his breathing is laboured, the rhythmic sound of his hips hitting your ass is echoing around the room, “I still can’t believe you’re letting me do this to you. I must be the luckiest man alive.”

“Please...more!” you whine, trying to force him deeper inside of you with the movement of your hips.

Nagito lets out a strangled moan and starts pounding faster, one of his hands slipping down between your legs to circle your clit, you cry out at the extra stimulation, toes curling inside of your shoes. The desk is shaking with the force of his thrusts now, there's a cute little statuette of a frog that falls down to the carpet with a clatter, but he doesn't stop.

“You feel so good, darling...I--I don't think i can-” a groan rips through him and you can feel his thrusts growing sloppier, “-you’re so good for...so perfect...I can't hold--ah ahh” he swallows, “Please, angel, i want to feel you cum again.”

You’re close, mouth raw from panting and moaning, legs going numb from behind suspended in the air. Then, the finger on your clit presses down firm and his cock grinds up against your g-spot. That is all you need, you come unraveling under him, the walls of your cunt clenching impossibly tight around him.

“Ah, yes!” He cries, grabbing your hips and pounding you desperately, relishing in the feeling of your hot, tight cunt. Milking him dry, “Good, girl. So good for me.” Then, he cums, you feel his cock throb deep inside of you as his hips stutter and slow.

It is only now that you are hit with the realisation. You just fucked Professor Komaeda. Holy hell.

All you can do is lay there while he slowly pulls himself out of you. Wincing a little at the wierd feeling of emptyness. You manage to roll yourself over, laying flat on your back with your legs still dangling from the desk. Nagito laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, “Are you alright?”

You laugh weakly, “We’re going to get in so much trouble.”

“Not if no one finds out.” He tucks some of your hair behinf your ear, “Don’t worry about it, I’m very lucky with this sort of thing.”

“I just dont want you to get in trouble.”

He giggles, “That’s very kind of you, but this was as much my choice as it was yours.” he runs his fingers down your cheek and gives you a gentle kiss on your lips, “I meant what i said, about meeting up again.”

You manage to pull yourself up until you are sitting upright, you give him a sleepy smile, “Yeah, me too. I like you a lot.”

“How very sweet of you to say, angel.” He presses his forehead to yours and tangles your fingers together, “Let’s get you cleaned up now, hm? Can’t have you walking home like that”

To be honest, you aren’t sure you can walk at all.

____________________________

A few months later, you are sitting in the local cafe and applying for some jobs on your laptop. You did well on your final assessments and graduated with flying colours. It’s only a few more days before you need to officially move out of the dorms, and finding a new apartment (along with a job to pay for it) has not been easy so far.

You huff and push your hair back from your face. Your phone pings, and you ignore it. It’s been pinging for the past few minutes and you are not in the mood to check it. The job you are currently applying for made you retype all of the information in your resume even though you just uploaded it, and you are not happy.

The phone pings again and you groan, grabbing it and flipping it over. It looks like it’s just the group chat, as loud as always. As you go to close the message notifications though, you see one from about ten minutes ago that isn't from your group chat. Your heart is racing.

Hello!

I still have your number from when you asked for an assignment extension at the beginning of last semester. I hope you don't mind me using it. It’s been a few months, I'd like to see you again, if you wouldn't mind.

-Nagito

Oh shit. Your heart is beating a rapid tattoo in your chest. You had been so caught up in the job hunt and apartment hunt that you had all but forgotten about...this. You swallow and manage to force your shaky hands to type.

Oh hey!

It’s nice to hear from you. I’m free this weekend if you want to meet up, I still live in the dorms though, so it’ll have to be your place.

It's only about a minute before you get a reply.

Lol! I was thinking we could start with coffee, but I'm not going to lie and say i wasn’t hoping it would end up in my bedroom.

This weekend works for me. I can pick you up around 11?

You smile at your phone, cheeks turning crimson.

Sounds good. I’ll see you then.

You quickly update his contact details in your phone from Professor Komaeda, to Nagito <3.

#komaeda x reader #nagito x reader #komaeda nagito #nagito komaeda #danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa fanfiction #sdr2 #super danganronpa goodbye despair #FILTH

261 notes · View notes

theemperorsfeather · 3 years ago

Text

Suddenly remembering something I saw repeatedly my first year or two with All This, which was commentary about the dangers of living out a myth, or the dangers of living mythically, or something like that. "Know what myth it is you're in," I think? I don't remember any more. Anyway. The ways in which whatever-it-is you're in WILL play out once you're deep enough in it.

Kind of thought I knew which one I was inextricably connected with but a) apparently I was wrong about the deepness of the "inextricable" and b) also it clearly wasn't the only archetype that I kept getting whacked with/drawn to and c) regardless of the inextricable it's clearly A Theme, so fuck you. The New Strange has been making all of that stuff, um, also more so. It's connected the dots (hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa). This -and- that, all at once, hints of a different mythology than I'm most familiar with but - I don't think it IS precisely that one? (I know that most myths are hints and tellings of bigger archetypes that sizes and frames them to where they can be understood in a more casual manner; they're facets of a bigger something. But I know which ones I know well enough.)

I also do not know Who the New Strange is. There is a name he's had me use but it's mostly a placeholder. Something more than "hey you," you know.

It is impossible for me to believe he's not known as a god by someone(s) somewhere. He uses human forms too easily for me to believe otherwise. Most fae and land beings who aren't "gods" in my experience, can do this BUT their fae-ness usually ends up showing more and more over time, or they just simply feel really really weird. And he doesn't feel weird like land beings do. (The weirdest thing is how .... not-weird he feels. What the FUCK is up with that, how is that even possible. Oh god oh no what is this.)

I kind of don't want to know, even though knowledge is power and knowing what myth(s) you're in is a survival skill and usually I am annoyingly persistent about trying to figure out Who is messing with me now.

I've been feeling more and more certain that when I do learn whatever well-known name(s) are out there for this guy, my reaction is going to be volcanic (which would be appropriate, considering what connections he's shown me he has, but) and yeah. I'm uh. Avoidant and also pre-emptively angry about the upcoming "everything you know is a lie, part 3 or 10 or whatever the fuck we're on now." It feels like it's going to be worse than just "Surprise! That pantheon you thought nothing of is here and BOY are you beyond 'up to your eyeballs'!"

#angst and woe #it is of course far too late to run away #oh god have i been running from this asshole without knowing it and now uh #i mean there was recent running-away-from but i was fully aware #please for fuck's sake just get it over with #doom #DOOM!#venus is stationing direct today isn't it #yes. of course.

7 notes · View notes

caracello · 4 years ago

Text

um ok . grimdark (my ninj.ago s/i, any pronouns alternating) is the elemental master of deceit and the main antagonist in a fake season between hands of time (season 7) and sons of garmadon (season 8) . his elemental power of deceit allows them to take on the appearance of any person she wants to . grimdark also has an undercover identity as ceri lennox (she/her), an assistant to cyrus borg who would be introduced in season 7 when cyrus borg got kidnapped . um i havwnt actually figured out grimdarks motivation for being Evil but as a placeholder im just gonna say shes angry at wu bc everyone has had a grudge against master wu at some point .

at the end of the hands of time season krux and acronix r thrown into an infinite time loop so in order for the uh selfship to actually happen theres maybe an after-credits scene at the end of s7 where acronix wakes up on the ground and you dont See grimdark but they tell acronix to stand up and that hes not dead yet or smth . acronix becomed indebted 2 grim for saving him and becomes his evil minion even if in the beginning he is a little bitch abt it

grimdarks 'plan' essentially is to stage her own villainy as if the time twins had survived the time loop and were back for revenge which i s why he needed one of them. she could only save one (didnt have enuf time to save both) so they chose acronix bc they thought hed be more useful . umm they need a hostage at some point and he actually has kind of a soft spot for cyrus borg bc of how closely he worked w him before so she decides to 'kidnap' ceri which will allow acronix 2 pretend he has a hostage without actually. kidnapping anyone

i think umm i want to like show as the season progresses that grimdark doesnt really...want to kill anyone and is a little bit wimpy when it comes to actually playing her cards . he chose to save acronix bc he thought hed be useful but then acronix is useful , and they actually talk to each other and grim pushes for nix to stand up for himself , and so she gets attached and her ultimate downfall as a villain is her inability to sacrifice her greatest pawn (acronix) in order to see their plans realized

anf then idk they live together happily ever after i havent really thought past that

#I JST NEEDED TO TYPE ALL OF THS OUT SOMEWHERE i gotta sleep now . *immediately ragdolls*#⏳.gush

6 notes · View notes

dakotacrisis · 5 years ago

Text

Deal’s End (12)

One final wish.

(Read on AO3)

---

Months rolled by as Marinette moved on with her life without Felix. It took some getting used to waking up and not having him around. She had even avoided saying his name as much as she could. Everyone at school figured that he moved away but didn’t give it much thought beyond that. The only other people that seemed to note his absence outside of Marinette were Adrien, Alya, and her parents.

Alya was Marinette’s rock during the beginning when she was most broken up about it. A number of sleepovers that ended in cartons of ice cream and a box of used tissues.

And then there was Adrien. Marinette’s now official boyfriend. She insisted on taking things slow when they started. She was in no proper headspace to be a normal girlfriend and wanted to distance herself from the new relationship for some time before she was back to normal. Adrien didn’t question her and said that he didn’t want to rush her into anything she was uncomfortable with. So a lot of their quote unquote dates were casual lunches and hand holding in the park.

After the first month Marinette was as normal as she thought she was gonna get. Her dates with Adrien branching out to more traditionally romantic and a few kisses exchanged. The first time they kissed there was a small fluttering in her stomach but not much beyond that. It wasn’t the spark that Marinette had heard Alya talk about when she had her first kiss with Nino.

Summer had come and gone and autumn had officially began. The trees burning in colors of orange and yellow and red. It was chill enough to break out the fluffy sweaters and warm drinks but not enough that it was uncomfortable to be out. It was a picture perfect backdrop to a romantic season.

After school one day Adrien invited Marinette over to his house for a study date. There wasn’t a lot to work on but she was happy to spend some time with him outside of school. When it came to go Adrien walked her out to the front door.

“Do you need to get home anytime soon?” Adrien asked after they stepped out of the house.

“No. Why? What’s up?” She asked.

Adrien came up to her, his wide green eyes tenderly watching her. “Marinette, I wanted to talk to you about something that may not be the easiest thing to talk about. But I care about you and if one of us isn’t happy then it should be addressed. Don’t you think so?”

“What are you getting at?”

He held her hands, “Do you love me?”

“What kind of a question is that? Of course I love you. You’re my boyfriend.” She tried to laugh it off.

“I believe that you love me as much as say you love Alya.” He continued, “You love me as a friend. But not more than that.”

“What makes you think that?” Marinette backed up an inch.

“Marinette, I do love you.” Adrien held her hands tighter, “You’re an amazing person and I am so happy spending time with you. But we both know that whatever this is between us isn’t working and it is because we’re trying to force romance into what is meant to be a friendship.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Her voice broke a touch.

“Are you happy with me?” Adrien asked, “When you look into the future is it me you’re seeing? Cause I don’t think it is.”

“I am happy with you. I love hanging out with you and if I were to look into the future I would hope that you were there with me.”

“I may be there and you may be happy with me but are you happy with me as a romantic partner?”

“Adrien…”

“We both know who it is you really want.” He stared down at their interlaced hands, “I thought that maybe I could be what you wanted. But with how sad you were when he moved away and how distant you’ve been since we started dating I couldn’t keep going on. Not when I knew that whatever this is between us was only hurting you more.”

Marinette started to break down completely. There was no use pretending now. “I never meant to hurt you or use you.” She whispered, “I thought you were what I wanted. What I needed. But in the end I was using you. You were the kind and handsome placeholder for all the emotions and love I wanted to give to someone. Then he showed up and little by little everything changed. I told myself that it was just a phase. A passing fancy. That I was your girlfriend and my feelings for him would drift away as a pleasant memory. I squashed them down and left them to wither and die in my gut. But they just wouldn’t.” Marinette sat down on the steps. “I led you on because being with you was better than being alone.”

Adrien sat down next to her. He held her close and rubbed her back gingerly. “It’s alright, Marinette. I’m not upset if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“How can you not be? I--I--”

“You’re hurting and if being your boyfriend helped you not to hurt then I’m okay. But you are still hurting. All I want is for you to be happy. You’re my friend and I love you and I want to help you however I can. But I think what is best for the both of us is if we stop pretending and go back to what works best for us.”

“You still want to be my friend?”

“Do I still want to be friends with the kindest, smartest, funniest, most talented, and bravest girl I have ever met? I think I’m gonna have to say, duh!” he said. Marinette laughed a bit.

“I love you. I really do.” Marinette leaned her head on his shoulder, “As my friend.”

“I love you too, friend.” They sat on the steps watching cars and people go by. Their relationship as a couple officially at an end. What had she done to deserve someone as great as Adrien in her life?

Upon returning home she collapsed onto her chaise and let herself have a good cry. She had put herself through all this pain and for what? Breaking up with Adrien wouldn’t bring Felix back. She had given up years of her life for a relationship she ended up not really wanting. Now all she had to show for it was a heart more broken than before.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the note Felix had left. The last thing he had ever given her. She held it close, a stray tear hitting the paper. “I wish you were here.” she whispered.

All of the sudden she felt a hand on her back. She turned around and saw her mom kneeling next to her. “Oh sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“Mom.” Marinette hugged her tightly. “It hurts so much.”

“What does? What happened?” She asked.

“Adrien and I broke up.” Marinette muttered.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Her mom held her closer, “I’m so sorry. It’s gonna be okay.”

Her sobs grew louder and her dad came up to check on her as well. Both her parents held her in their arms as she let out all the pain she had been bottling in for months. They thought it was all for Adrien and she was fine to let them believe that. The reality hurt much worse.

Marinette went to bed early that night. She was too exhausted to see the note on her desk until she woke up in the morning. Picking it up her heart leapt into her throat. It was the paper from her sketchbook. The one with Felix’s sigil on it. She hadn’t seen this since she signed it.

Quickly turning it over she saw the contract was there with large black letters that read: VOID, stamped across it. One hundred percent satisfaction or your years of life back guarantee. Just as soon as she read it the paper caught fire and burned up in her hands leaving nothing but a puff of smoke in its wake.

Her five years had been returned. She called it a small victory.

Getting ready for school was a chore. But she felt lighter somehow. Like a weight had been taken off her shoulders and she could finally move forward. Walking into class she said hi to her friends. They were all sympathetic about her break up with Adrien but she assured them it was fine. Maybe under different circumstances they could have made it work but she was happy to have him in her life as just a friend.

In all honesty not being a couple helped a lot since they could just hang out without any expectations. She’d tag along to some of his photoshoots and make funny faces at him to break his concentration. He’d come over to play video games at her house after school. They’d study together and cracked jokes and made dumb puns. It was nice.

There was still that aching feeling in her chest when she thought of Felix. She missed him and often times found herself doodling his sigil in the margins of her notes. And she would be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted to try and summon him again. In the end she talked herself out of it. It was too big of a risk.

One day Adrien was over at her house studying what with exams on the way they could use all the study time they could get.

“UGH!” Marinette snapped her textbook closed. “I can’t focus.”

“Video game break?” Adrien suggested.

“No. I think I just need some fresh air and some snacks. You wanna come?”

“You go on. I’m still copying down the notes I missed.” Adrien gestured to the notebook Marinette had lent him.

“Alright, I won’t be long.” Marinette headed downstairs and stepped outside. The cold wind snapped her senses back into focus. She took a few minutes to breathe and people watch before she went back in and grabbed a couple snacks before heading back up to her room.

“I have macarons and juice.” Marinette announced. A small shiver went down her spine upon entering the room. “Adrien? What are you doing buddy?”

Adrien was half off the chaise and his eyes were wide. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. “Oh uh hi there.” He waved at her.

“Hey yourself.” she tossed him a juice bottle. “Why are you so squirrely?”

“There was a um...a spider. It’s gone now.”

“Freaking spiders.” Marinette sighed, “Remind me I need to vacuum up the cobwebs in here this weekend.”

“Will do.” Adrien was kinda restless the rest of the afternoon they were working and Marinette decided to call it off early. He wasn’t focused and her brain was going to melt if she kept trying to cram information in it.

“We still on for group study in the library tomorrow?” she asked before he left, “Alya and Max are bringing flashcards.”

“Yeah. Sounds good. See you then.” Adrien said before turning around to his car muttering to himself.

“Weirdo.” Marinette chuckled as she went back inside and got ready for bed.

The next day at school Marinette shuffled inside and placed her things in her locker. She had trouble falling asleep last night and was still sleepy when her alarm went off in the morning. What she would have given for another hour of blessed sleep.

Upon walking into the classroom she received a jolt that woke her up instantly. A figure in black jeans and a red hoodie was sitting in her seat with their feet propped up on her desk and their hood up. She rubbed her eyes but the figure remained.

She felt her feet moving beneath her without any sort of command from her brain as she neared her desk. “You’re in my seat.” Her voice was quiet.

They looked up, pushing the hood back off their head, revealing grey eyes that sparkled like silver and mussed blonde hair. “Surprised to see me?”

“Yes I am.” She took in a shaky breath. “Felix...what…”

“Come here, love,” he stood up and took her out of the classroom. They passed Adrien in the doorway who gave them a knowing smile.

Felix dragged her down to the now empty library. They stood apart from each other as Marinette tried to settle all the emotions in her head. Felix was here. Why was he here? How was he here? Was it because her wish had been voided?

“Marinette,” Felix spoke first, “I--”

She rushed him in a hug. His arms closed around her molding her to him. She was shaking and crying but god help her if she could stop. “There, there, love,” Felix whispered as he tried to soothe her, “Cry it out. It’s alright.”

“I’m okay.” Marinette broke out of the embrace abruptly. “Sorry. I got overwhelmed.”

“Don’t apologize.” He smoothed out her hair. “I can imagine that this is a bit of a shock.”

“A bit of a shock?” Marinette stepped further away from him. “A bit of a shock!”

“Oh boy here we go.” Felix braced himself, “I’m ready let’s have it.”

“I haven’t seen you in months!” Marinette shrieked, her whole body filling with anger and sadness, “I was left alone on a dance floor trying not to cry my eyes out the last time I saw you. I entered into a relationship I ended up not even wanting because pretending to be in love was better than being alone. All I had left was this note in my fridge to remember you by cause all the pictures you were in mysteriously vanished. I was finally starting to accept that you were a strange and heartbreaking moment in my life and was moving on from it.”

She rushed up to him jabbing a finger into his chest. “Now you’re here and I don’t know what to think or what to feel. I’m angry and upset and happy and confused and worried and hopeful and about a billion other things. So yes, seeing you in my seat like nothing has happened was ‘a bit of a shock!’”

She turned away taking several deep breaths to calm herself. This was too much to deal with this early.

“Marinette,” Felix touched her shoulder but just as quickly withdrew it when he saw her glare, “What do you want me to say? You want me to apologize for leaving? You want me to say that I should have stayed and damn the consequences? Cause we both know it wouldn’t have helped. It would have just made everything worse.”

“Then why are you back?” Marinette rounded on him, “Why are you back? Is it because my contract was void? Do we have to strike a new deal or something? I am not in the mood for games, Felix. I don’t want any roundabout answers or riddles. I just want a straightforward answer.”

“It has nothing to do with your contract. We don’t need to make any new deal. Your years of life were returned. That was the end of it.” Felix explained calmly.

“So what is it then?”

“I was summoned.”

“Not by me.”

“No, love, not by you.” Felix reached into his notebook and took out a piece of paper before handing it to her.

“My chemistry notes?” She scanned over the paper. “How did you get this?”

“Because of this.” He pointed to a doodle in the margin. A smear of dried blood on it. “Funny what a little paper cut can do.”

“But if it wasn’t me then…” the realization started to dawn on her. “I gave Adrien my notes to copy. I went downstairs for snacks and…”

“When you came back up he was acting weird?” Felix nodded with a crooked smile. “Yes.”

“He…” Marinette’s hands flew to her mouth. “Adrien! Oh god, what did he wish for? What was the price? I swear if you took his soul--”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” Felix eased her, “He’s fine. No soul reaping here. I promise. I understand your worry but there is nothing to be worried about. Everything is fine.”

“Has he made a deal with you yet?”

“Yes.”

“No!” Marinette was pacing again, “Oh god this is so bad!”

“Marinette, love, will you get ahold of yourself for five minutes and let me explain?” Felix grasped her by the shoulders to stop her movement. “Can you give me that? Can you give me five minutes?”

Marinette nodded. “Okay,” he let her go, “Let me start from the beginning when Adrien first summoned me.”

“A good a place as any to start.” Marinette took a seat at one of the tables. “I’m listening.”

“When I first showed up in your room I was panicked because I thought you had gotten incredibly stupid and conjured me again. When I looked around though the only one there was Adrien. He was startled and confused as to why I was there and how I had appeared. I knew you would be back any second so I quickly explained that I had never been a transfer student and was actually a demon that you had accidentally summoned that one day you got hit in the face with a dodgeball. I begged him not to let you know I was there and that I would explain everything once we were away from your house.”

“Why didn’t you reveal yourself to me when you were in my room? If anything I think I could have helped explain to Adrien what you are.”

“Given your reaction to seeing me just now I am gonna say that you would have not been any help at all. If you knew I was there it would have been extra gas on the fire and that was not going to be good for anyone.”

“That’s fair.” Marinette relented. “Go on.”

“So after we left and went back to Adrien’s house I explained the situation more and I had to tell him about our deal and how he had factored into it. He was good about it. I swear that he is one of the most understanding people I have ever met. He really does take everything in stride. He didn’t even get mad when I told him it was I that cut the air conditioning in your house that one day.”

“Felix, you’re drifting.” She said.

“Sorry. Back to it.” Felix cleared his throat, “After we got all of that out of the way I told him that since he summoned me, accident or not, we had to make a deal or else I could never leave. So we made a deal.”

“And this is where my worries come in.” Marinette said, “I fought you for a week before striking a deal. You’re alone with Adrien for one night and he’s quite literally made a deal with the devil. So just tell me what it was he did wish for.”

He reached out a hand and gently stroked her cheek. “He wished for the brute to be a gentleman,” His voice broke a touch, “or in my case, human.”

Marinette shot to her feet so fast the chair clattered to the ground behind her. Human? Her throat felt dry. “He can wish for that?”

“Apparently so.” Felix chuckled.

“But why?”

“Because he loves you. And he’d do anything to make you happy.”

“And he thought that was you?” Marinette joked.

Felix scoffed, pretending to be wounded. “Was he mistaken, love?”

“How much did that cost if not his soul?”

“Turning a demon into a human is seen as a punishment where I was from. My bosses were already pissed at me for how much time I spent up here, complaining about me going soft. They were going to punish me somehow but in their eyes Adrien did that for them. So they may have let the price slide just this once.”

“How is being human a punishment?”

“Loss of immortality and you are now under the sway of god again which you had fallen from before. It’s basically seen as a betrayal to your fallen peers.”

“I have so many more questions about the logistics of this. I mean, do you have a soul now? What happens when you die? What is your DNA? Do you even have a place to live?”

“In order: yes, I don’t know, I don’t know, and no. That being said, can I stay your house for a couple weeks? I have literally nowhere to go and no money.”

“I’ll talk to my parents. Maybe you can take the photographer’s advice and become a model. He said he knew an agency.”

“A model? I can see it. I may be mortal but I am still hot as hell and devilishly handsome.” Felix laughed. The sound filled Marinette with warmth.

“On second thought I don’t think you need your ego fed anymore.”

“Too late, I’m already imaging.” He started making ridiculous poses.

“Okay cool it, Jojo.” Marinette rolled her eyes. She approached him, resting a hand on his chest. “Are you really human?”

“Yes.”

“Are you here to stay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you…do you…” The question was stuck in her throat.

“I do.” Felix cradled her face in his hands. “It isn’t much and I’ve a lot to learn still but that’s half the fun of love isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She was crying now. Felix gently wiped away her tears and waited patiently for her to calm down.

“So, are you happy?” He asked.

“I am. I thought I’d lost you forever.” She hiccuped.

“You think you could drive me off that easily?” He pressed his forehead to hers, “You couldn’t shake me when I was a demon and now that you’re my girlfriend you’re never getting rid of me.”

“Girlfriend? Jumping ahead of ourselves don’t you think?” She laughed, “Shouldn’t you take me on a date first?”

“Was extinguishing every light in Paris so we could watch the shooting stars not a good enough first date for you? Cause I hate to tell you but I’m not gonna be able to top that now without any powers.”

“How about dinner?” Marinette suggested, “Then dessert at Andre’s.”

“Sounds perfect.” he leaned in closer. “But first I am going to drag us back into the far stacks of the library to make out because that is all I have been thinking about since that night we watched the stars.”

Marinette stood on her toes and pressed her mouth against his. Her hands balled in the fabric of his hoodie. His hands wove into her hair pulling her closer still. Butterflies, fireworks, bouncy balls, everything was going off inside her as he kissed her deeply. This was what it was supposed to feel like.

He wasn’t letting her go any time soon either. One kiss followed another more desperate and hungry and loving than the last until they were both out of breath. “I love you,” She whispered against his lips. “I love you, Felix.”

“I love you too, Marinette.” he kissed her again. “I do have one little condition though?”

“And what would that be? More eclairs?” She giggled punctuating her words with small darting kisses.

“Well yes, obviously, but more than that I want to make one last deal. An official end to my demon dealing ways.” He looked at her with so much love and adoration it threatened to strangle her. “I’ll trade you the rest of my life for the rest of yours. Sound fair, my love?”

Marinette laced her hand with his, “It’s a deal.”

THE END

---

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)

---

(tagged)

@sannsibarr @miss-mysterys-blog @maribug-adrienoir @mermaidreject @corabeth11 @goblinwhoships @symwinter @dreaming-being @yourgeekysister

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #felix #felinette #demon au #writing

47 notes · View notes

stardust-and-blades · 6 years ago

Note

Klance 21 please

*sticks leggy out* Of course

21. Things you said when we were on top of the world

Takes place two, maybe three years after season 8 bc ouch

“So, how is farming life treating you?”

“Alright,” Lance replied, swishing around the wine in his glass. “But I gotta say, Juniberries are hard to grow. I never knew Allura’s favorite flower would take so much steps to living.”

Keith chuckled, taking a bite of the Spanish rice on his plate, still dressed in his galran suit. He had returned from a mission that lasted six months, all of the retired paladins contacting him and demanding he visit. Lance, of course, was the most vocal, and invited everyone to dinner at his place with the help of his mama. They ate and told stories, asking questions about the other planets and Pidge mentioning their breakthrough in halfing the time it takes to travel from New Altea to the farthest planet known to man. They had already left, claiming they had some more work to do and that they will return the next day for a day out in the public. Though Keith could not help but notice Pidge and Hunk whispering to one another while Shiro shook his head. Lance and Keith had a lot of catching up to do, so they ate slower than the rest. But neither minded, Lance’s parents and siblings in bed to give them privacy.

“Altea had people who knew the climate well, you’re going based off of instinct, so it’s natural for you to experience trial and error.”

“I know,” He groaned. “If only Allura was here, she would be able to help me.”

“She is. In spirit. She probably is still laughing at the time you slipped on the manure and face planted.”

“How rude! Allura would never laugh at the ruining of this beautiful face.” Lance acted as if he were flipping his hair back, eliciting a laugh from the stoic ex paladin.

“Whatever you say.” Keith placed his hands in the air, mocking surrender.

“What about you? Miss combat and bored of peace?”

Keith shook his head, a small smile on his face. “No. I mean, I was good at it. But it’s nice to bond with my mom and the others. With the change in the Blade’s purpose, I see different faces compared to during the war.”

‘Hmm…Must be nice.” Lance commented, turning his head to the window to their right. His gaze, filled with mirth just before, somber. His bright blues dulled into a calm azure, his head leaning against one hand as his food is forgotten. “It has been, what, two years since the end of the war?”

“Yeah, about right.”

Keith expected Lance to continue; veer off into another subject like they had been doing before. But nothing came. Lance just stared at the stars, the white, twinkling faraway explosions reflecting back in his eyes. Lance hasn’t talked about Allura or space much since then, sticking to random topics. But now, for some reason Lance is bringing them up; vocally recounting the days of naive flying in Blue, their humorous training sequences, and the exploration of different planets. Lance used to be so bright eyed during those times, bursting with curiosity anf surprise despite missing his family. And while there were hard times, he was always smiling a huge grin.

Now, his smile is watered down. It isn’t quite sad, but neither is it gleeful. Keith wondered if them being on top of the world is really a victory, or if it is just a placeholder for his real feelings. For the fact that he is happy to know his home and other planets are no longer under the rule and threat of a tyrant, yet wishing for more in life. Something besides staying on Earth and farming, looking back on the boy who wanted to explore various galaxies rather than stay home for a mundane life. Lance is a lot of things, but he isn’t mundane. If anything he is bursting with raw energy. Once concealed by grief and heartbreak over the loss of his first love, cracks began to scatter across his morose aura.

He won’t ever forget Allura. Will not forget her sacrifice and her wishes.

But he also cannot forget the dreams he held so close to his heart, just as he did Allura.

And Keith wondered if there is a chance he could change it. Maybe Lance will never love him the same way Keith loves him, but the least he could do is try and bring those dreams back. To awaken the spark that made Keith and Allura fall for the shining young man.

So Keith reached a hand out, hoping Lance would take it, hoping he would acknowledge the part of him clawing to be acknowledged. To be heard.

“Lance?”

“Hm?”

“I…I have another mission coming up in two weeks. Delivering products and medical aid to a healing planet. It will probably take up to half a year to reach, since Pidge will be putting out their new technology. And the mission itself is believed to pan out for an additional year.”

Lance raised his eyebrows, confused. “Okay?”

Keith scratched at his neck, his nerves shaking him. He wasn’t professing his undying love, why is he nervous?

Nonetheless, he forced himself to make eye contact.

“Would you like to join me? I know you have your farm to tend to, and you would miss your family a lot. But…um…” Okay, now he was losing his train of thought. What was he going to say? Where was his eloquence? Geez, if only Shiro were here. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel as if Lance’s gaze was going to burn him.“Um…I figured–you kind of look sad, so I figured–you like space–uh…shit,” his head bended down, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. Shut up Keith. Just shut up and stop digging yourself into a deeper hole. “Nevermind, I don’t know why–”

“Keith.”

Keith perked his head up, swallowing as he feared meeting Lance’s eyes. But he is met with a kind gaze, a genuine smile blossoming on his lips. “Are you offering me a place in your elite ranks?” He joked, but Keith can hear his growing excitement.

“Uh…yes. Yeah I am. I mean, it really isn’t elite–”

He is interrupted by a hand covering his on the table, callous fingers touching soft flesh concealed by elastic.

“I would love to.”

He meant it.

Lance will always love Allura. But both knew he couldn’t linger in the past. And something tells both Lance and Keith that Allura would be proud.

She fought for them to be happy.

It is time Lance honored that.

send me a ship and number and I’ll write a mini fic!

#shania writes #klance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #VLD #voltron #post-season 8

18 notes · View notes

ourmisadventures · 6 years ago

Text

Tired // d.j.

@racinghiggins was talking about how absolutely perfect tired writer!davey is and i just couldn’t help myself. i hate the ending but when do i not hate the endings.

also fun fact i finished this around 2 a.m. so basically I am davey jacobs

---

"What's the emergency?" She asks after answering the phone, pushing her hair out of her face.

"Should there be an emergency?"

His voice sounds scratchy, but a different scratchy than what it would be if he was sick.

"It's seven a.m. on a Saturday," she responds, stifling a yawn as she continues, "why else would you be calling?"

"Shit, I didn't really register how early it is," he mumbles, worry evident in his tone. It makes her smile.

"S'okay, Davey," she reassures, "what's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go get some coffee," he says, and she can faintly hear some typing in the background, "I've been up all night working on my manuscript and really need some caffeine. Or some adderall, but caffeine's cheaper and not illegal for me to get."

"You need sleep, I can see the dark circles under your eyes already," she teases, getting out of her bed, "just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you can stay up to all hours."

"Thanks mom," Davey groans, "now am I gonna have the pleasure of your company or not?"

"I suppose so," she smiles, "pick me up in twenty."

—-

"So, this manuscript," she says, hands wrapped around the warm cup as she sits across from him, "any chance I'll get to read it?"

Davey blushes, sipping at his drink before he answers.

"I uh, I guess so," he says, "once I finish, no guarantee when that will be."

"Oh c'mon," she whines dramatically, causing the boy to smile, "let me like, what do they call it...beta a few chapters. I'll be kind, I promise. What's it about? I know it's a romance, right?"

Davey swallows nervously, tapping his fingers against the coffee cup as he nods.

"Yeah um...it is, essentially," he looks down at his hands, avoiding her gaze, "it's kinda about...you, I guess? I named the main female after you, so..."

"You..." the girl smiles, hint of a blush creeping up on her cheeks, "Davey that's-"

"Stupid I know," Davey shakes his head, words tumbling out of his mouth, "originally I just used it as a placeholder but I got like half way through and never changed it and by that time I was kinda tied to it, I'll change it if you want me to."

"Davey, no," she laughs bit, "that's not what I was gonna say. It's really sweet, I'm flattered," she smiles, and Davey's pretty sure his heart melts, "who's my co-lead?"

"Well I..." his mind races a hundred miles a minute, "um, me, I suppose. I'm terrible at naming characters and uh...write what you know, as Kath says."

"And what do you know, Davey?" She asks gently.

Davey locks eyes with her, searching her face for some sort of hesitation or disgust. He finds none.

Cautiously, he reaches out and tangles their fingers together, heart beating against his ribcage.

"I know how I feel about you," he practically whispers, laughing at himself, "actually, no I don't. I know that I feel something for you, and I know that whatever these feelings are...I like them and I don't want them to go away anytime soon."

"I think I can get behind that," she smiles, "if I would've known all it took was asking you about your book I would've brought it up months ago."

Davey laughs, for real this time, and squeezes her hand.

"Come to my place tonight," he says, "I'll make dinner, we can watch a movie. It'll be romantic, but not too over the top."

"David Jacobs, are you asking me on a date?" She teases, heart fluttering at the man in front of her.

"Only if you say yes," Davey replies.

"Yes, god, yes," she breathes, and the two fall into a small fit of laughter, "I'll come over around six? Give me time to get some work done and get changed before hand."

"You don't need to change a thing," Davey speaks automatically, words he'd so often wanted to say spilling over his lips before he can realize it, but he cherishes the smile they cause to appear on her face, "I-I just mean th-"

"I know what you mean, Davey," she cuts off the start of his rambling, "we should get going, I actually do have some work I need to get done if I'm gonna make this big date I have tonight."

He drives her home, and somehow everything feels the same and different at the same time, and it's a feeling Davey never wants to go away.

Following her up to her front door, he twist his hands together to try and wring out the nerves.

"So uh...do you want me to pick you up tonight or..."

"No, it's okay," she smiles, "you drove this morning, and I'm coming to your house, I can take myself."

"Okay, I'll um," he smiles a bit, wistful and unbelieving, "I'll see you then, I guess."

"Yeah, guess so," she says, hand resting on the door knob.

Davey shoves his hands in his pockets, his tired brain trying to come up with something else to say before she interrupts.

"You're so oblivious," she laughs, "how can you be a writer if you're this oblivious?"

"I-I don't understand..."

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Davey stares at her, mouth hanging half open as she smiles. He tries again to come up with words, but instead takes the half step forward and presses his lips to hers.

She cups his jaw with her hand, fingers brushing over the slight stubble coming in; a sign that he hadn't shaved in a day or two.

"Wow," she breathes as they pull away, "you're uh...you're pretty good at that."

Davey smiles, trying to hold the feeling in his mind he could go home and write about it.

"You're not so bad yourself," he says, cheeks red and eyes bright despite the exhaustion running through his body, "we can uh...pick this up tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiles shyly, and Davey feels himself go soft at the sight, "see you tonight, Davey."

---

The sunlight streaming through the half opened blinds is what wakes him up in the morning, eyes blinking as his vision focuses.

The weight on his arm pulls his attention back towards his bed, and a sleepy smile stretches across his face as he looks down at the girl curled into his side.

Softly, sleepily, he pulls her even closer, settling his chin on the top of her head as he closes his eyes once more.

"Why the hell don't you close your blinds all the way?"

Her words are muffled by his chest, but Davey hears her clear as day. He lets out a puff of laughter, moving so his body shielded her from the sunlight.

"Usually I get up as soon as I can to do some writing," he whispers, "but this right here? No where else I'd rather be."

He feels her smile against his skin, and she presses a gentle kiss to his chest.

"Y/N?" He asks after a few minutes of silence, swallowing back his nerves.

"Hmm?"

He can tell she's still half asleep, but he can't stop the words from coming out.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

She doesn't miss a beat, and something about how sure she sounds makes Davey's brain go fuzzy.

"You didn't even have to think about that at all," he laughs a bit, kissing the top of her head.

"Course not," she says, "we've been together four months, Davey, I've practically moved in here...if this isn't love then I don't know what is."

He brings her closer to him - as if they could get any more entangled - and he's grateful for the soft morning light making her look more beautiful than he ever thought was possible.

He tries to memorize the moment, the way she looks, the way he feels, anything he can hold on to to use for his writing later on.

Once he decides he can let her out of his arms, of course.

---

"Davey?"

Her voice is quiet, but he jumps all the same, looking up from his lap top at the girl standing at the door way to the living room.

"Hey baby girl," he says, half smile on his face as she rubs one of her eyes with the back of her hand, "sorry, was I too loud?"

"No, you just," she shrugs, "you weren't there. The bed felt weird, felt empty."

Davey swears he melts into a puddle at her words, and the fact that she somehow looks ridiculously radiant even though it's well past one a.m. doesn’t help either.

"God you're perfect," he whispers, shaking his head, "I'm sorry love, I was just gonna finish this chapter and time got away from me."

"S'okay," she smiles, making her way over to the couch.

She lays her head on his shoulder, eyes squinting at the white light emanating from the laptop.

"You writin' about us?"

"Always," Davey responds, "it's my favorite thing to write about."

She hums happily, nuzzling her face into his shoulder.

"Go back to bed, love," he whispers, "I'll be there in a few."

"Not without you," she mumbles, eyes closing, "wake me when you're finished."

He smiles again, and continues typing gently on his computer. Soon enough, the sound of even breathing and a few soft snores come from the girl on his shoulder.

He shakes his head in disbelief, both at the fact that she's there and the fact that she's his, and he shuts the device.

Awkwardly, but gently, he lifts the girl off of the couch and into his arms, slowly making his way to their bedroom. He sets her on the mattress, taking a moment to let the sight of her - effortlessly beautiful and unknowingly perfect - make permanent residence in his mind.

He pulls off his shirt, leaving on the sweatpants and climbing under the covers next to her. He switches off the lamp, pulling the girl into his side and letting his eyes slip shut. He plants a kiss to her hair, long and gentle and loving.

"So perfect."

---

taglist: @blytheandherbrain @thebroadwayaesthetic @racinghiggins @yes-above-the-fold @bencookisagod @suddenly-im-respecsable @disneykidafi @racescoronas @currrdleeeedddd-cooooffeeeee @seasickdolphin @theys-a-joke

#i need me a davey so fucking bad #thank you for this kirsten #davey jacobs #davey jacobs x reader #davey jacobs imagines #davey jacobs imagine #newsies #newsies imagines #newsies imagine #newsies x reader #newsies fic #newsies fanfiction

127 notes · View notes

buoyantsaturn · 6 years ago

Text

Don’t Take The Money (1/1)

summary: “Have you never done this before?” Will asked.

“No. Have you?”

“Had an awkward first date, or whatever this is? Yes,” Will said, trying and failing to break the ice between them. “Had a sugar daddy? No.”

word count: 7506

read on ao3

Will had made the mistake of arriving to the coffeeshop an hour earlier than he was supposed to. Thankfully, he’d brought a textbook and enough cash to buy himself a couple of coffees, but after the hour had passed and all that caffeine had sunk in, he was even more jittery and anxious than he’d been before.

He was supposed to be meeting someone there, someone named Nico who would be wearing a silver ring in the shape of a skull. He’d wanted to get there early so that he could find a good seat to watch the door for when Nico arrived, and so every time the bell over the door sounded his head shot up, only to sink back down to his textbook when he didn’t spot a silver ring.

At long last, the door finally opened to reveal who Will could only assume to be Nico - close in age to Will, about twenty-five or so, wearing a button-down shirt and nice pants, anxiously spinning a ring around his middle finger.

Will had thought long and hard for the last hour about how he would introduce himself to Nico, but when his eyes landed on the other man across the room, he didn’t stand up to introduce himself. He didn’t smile and wave Nico over. Instead, he ducked his head once more and stared down at his textbook. What the hell did he think he was doing? Why did he think he could just meet up with some stranger and ask him for money? Why did he have to be cute?

The clearing of a throat nearby had Will slowly looking up from the book to see Nico standing beside the table. “Are you...Will?”

Will nodded frantically and closed his textbook. “And you’re Nico?”

“Yes.” Nico slid into the seat across from Will. “Um. I should buy you a drink, right?”

“No!” Will said, louder than he intended. “Sorry, uh, no, I’m fine. Thank you. I had one while I was waiting.”

Nico frowned. “You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

“Oh, no. Not at all,” Will lied. “Ten minutes, maybe. But you’re right on time.”

Nico nodded slowly. After a beat he asked, “How much was your drink?”

“What?”

“Your drink,” Nico repeated, and then stared down at the ring he was still twisting around his finger. “I came here prepared to buy you a drink, so I want to pay you back for the one you bought.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Isn’t that the point of this? I’m supposed to buy you things?”

“Have you never done this before?” Will asked.

“No. Have you?”

“Had an awkward first date, or whatever this is? Yes,” Will said, trying and failing to break the ice between them. “Had a sugar daddy? No.”

Nico winced. “Can we, uh, not use that term?”

Will let out a deep breath. “Oh, thank god. I was terrified that you were going to insist I call you daddy all the time, or something. Wow, I feel so much better already.”

“Good for you,” Nico muttered.

“So, uh, how did you come to need a sugar ba-- Um. A...companion?” Will finished awkwardly.

Nico hesitated, and though he finally stopped spinning his ring, he still didn’t look at Will when he spoke. “I was homeschooled as a child. I guess you could say that I never learned how to make friends. I don’t...communicate well, but I just inherited my father’s business. It doesn’t look good to have a CEO that can’t hold a conversation with his employees.”

When it didn’t look like Nico was going to continue, Will nodded. “Okay, so you’re just looking for someone who you can spend time with and who can help you feel comfortable talking to other people. Did I get that about right?”

Nico nodded, finally taking a few seconds to look Will in the eyes.

“Well, um, I’m in my last year of undergrad - I had to start school when I was twenty because I had to save up money to pay tuition, but now I’m almost completely out of savings, and it’s almost impossible for me to find someplace that will hire me with my class schedule,” Will explained. “My sister pointed me to the website that we met on - and I really don’t want to know what’s she’s doing on there - but I kind of figured this was my last resort.”

“What do you need help with?” Nico asked. “Specifically. What are you looking to get out of this?”

“Money,” Will said bluntly, and winced at how greedy he sounded. “I don’t want to be spoiled or anything like that, I just want to know that I won’t get kicked out of school for not paying my tuition, or evicted because I can’t pay my rent. I’m happy to spend time with you and be your friend if that’s all you’re asking for, and all I ask in return is that you keep me from getting crushed under the weight of my debt.”

Nico nodded again. “That sounds...fair.”

“So...we should set up some kind of ground rules, right?” Will suggested. “Like, we have to spend a minimum of so many hours together each week, and in return, you...pay my rent, maybe.”

“We could meet for dinner,” Nico said. “Twice a week, we have a meal together. I’ll pay for your meal, and I can cover your rent.”

Will’s eyes widened in surprise. “Woah, uh, I meant that as more of a placeholder, you don’t actually have to--”

“I want to,” Nico insisted. “I want to help you to the same extent that you’re going to help me. So I’ll cover your rent. What else?”

“What else...what?”

“What else can I pay for? Cell phone bill? Electricity or water bill? You’ll need textbooks next semester, right?”

“I… Yeah, I mean, all of that, but you don’t have to,” Will tried again. “If you’re going to offer to pay for more, then you have to give me something else that I can do for you.”

Nico’s mouth opened like he wanted to argue, but snapped shut right after. “You--” He huffed, slouching in his seat and glancing out the window next to them in thought. “Can you be a...buffer?”

“What do you mean?”

“At...work parties or social events. Can you be a buffer between me and people that I don’t want to talk to?”

Will smiled, laughing softly. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Then I can pay your bills.” Nico straightened, growing serious once again, and Will missed seeing him looking so relaxed already. “What if I need to talk to you when we’re not already planning on seeing each other? Can I call you over on short notice, if it’s some kind of emergency? I can pay you for that, too. Maybe...ten dollars an hour?”

“That’s not--”

“Not a lot, right? Does fifteen sound better?”

“No--”

“Twenty.”

“Nico.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to pay me for that.”

Nico narrowed his eyes. “Twenty-five. And if you tell me no again, then I’ll make it thirty.”

Will’s mouth snapped shut so quickly that he heard his teeth click.

“That’s everything I can think of,” Nico told him. “If there’s nothing else that you need--” Will shook his head frantically, and he thought he saw a ghost of a smile on Nico’s lips. “--then I guess that’s it.”

“Thank you,” Will blurted out. “Really, thank you so much, you’re so much more generous than I was expecting. This is amazing, honestly, I don’t think I can thank you enough.”

Nico ducked his head and started twisting his ring around his finger again. “You can thank me by not thanking me anymore, please.”

“Oh!” Will felt himself blush in embarrassment. “Right, sorry. Um. Let me give you my number, and we can figure things out from there.”

For the next month or so, Will and Nico met for lunches and dinners and the occasional weekend breakfasts when their schedules couldn’t otherwise line up. Will gradually started to notice a change in Nico’s behavior, that he seemed to open up and get more and more comfortable with Will the more time they spent together. He’d gone from careful questions about Will’s life to complaining about the assholes that worked for him in the span of a few weeks.

Will even became aware of a change in himself after a short while, growing slightly self-conscious when he noticed that he’d gained a little bit of weight. It took him no more than a few hours to discern that the only reason for it was that he was no longer starving himself just to pay his rent.

Suffice it to say their relationship had truly proved to be mutually beneficial. Nico was taking full advantage of the fact that he had someone he was truly comfortable talking with, having Will meet him not just at restaurants but asking him to visit Nico in his office sometimes in his free time between classes. Sometimes they would sit and talk like usual, other times Will took the opportunity to have a quiet place to study.

They’d gotten close, they were friends. Nico knew that he was paying Will to like him, but he genuinely liked Nico. Right?

Will could never get to bed at a decent time on Sundays. No matter how early he knew his class was the next morning, he was just never tired until practically the middle of the night. He had changed into pajamas, brushed his teeth, and was getting into bed when his phone started ringing. Normally he would ignore a call coming in that late at night - unless it was his mother - because he friends knew that he appreciated what little sleep he could get. However, when he looked at the screen and saw Nico’s name flashing up at him, he didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Hey, Nico,” he said, but there was no immediate reply. “Nico?”

He heard a puff of breath - something he’d learned as Nico’s tell for when he was frustrated but couldn’t voice why - and then a whispered, “Shit,” before the line cut out.

Will called him back right away. “Hey, are you okay? What was that about?”

Another huff. “It’s stupid. I had a nightmare. It doesn’t matter. I thought-- never mind. It’s nothing.”

“Nico,” Will said softly, the way he did whenever he tried to coax the words out of the other. “Tell me what you thought.”

“Can you come over?” Nico asked.

Will glanced at the clock beside his bed. By the time he got to Nico’s, it would be past one in the morning. “It’s--”

“It’s late, I know, but please? Spend the night here.”

Will looked back at the clock before sighing. He wouldn’t be getting to sleep any time soon, anyway. “Send me your address. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He heard Nico say, “Okay,” and the line went dead once again. A moment later, Will received a text containing Nico’s address.

He grabbed his backpack, checking inside to make sure he had everything he would need for class the next day, and then stuffed a clean t-shirt and pair of jeans inside the bag as well. Will opened up the Uber app on his phone - Nico had made him download it and use his account so that Will didn’t have to take the bus or a cab when Nico asked him to stop by. He plugged in Nico’s address and called for the ride before leaving his apartment and heading down the four flights of stairs to the lobby of his building and out the front door.

It was easy to assume that Nico lived in a nicer part of the city than Will did, but Will didn’t realize just how far on the bad side of town he lived in - really, it was the only place he could afford on his own. The ride was just over twenty minutes long, which would have made it an hour at least at any other time of day, and soon Will found himself standing in what looked like a fancy hotel lobby, uncomfortable in his old, worn sweatpants and t-shirt.

“May I help you?” the receptionist asked, judging eyes scanning Will’s ratty clothes, and he was sure the receptionist was seconds away from pressing some kind of silent alarm on him.

“Yes, hi,” he said, stepping toward the desk. “I’m, uh, visiting?”

The receptionist raised an eyebrow and asked, “Who are you visiting?”

“Nico di Angelo,” Will answered, and slipped his phone out of his pocket to read Nico’s apartment number. “Apartment fifteen-A.”

“Is he expecting you?”

“Yes.”

The receptionist seemed to hesitate for a moment before gesturing down a nearby hallway. “Elevators down the hall, on your right. Have a...nice night.”

“Thank you, uh, you too,” Will said, and turned down the hall. When he got in the elevator he learned that fifteen was the top floor, and when he stepped out of the elevator again he learned that there were only two apartments on the floor - one at either end of the hall.

He knocked on Nico’s door and, like he’d been sitting there waiting for Will to arrive, Nico opened the door almost instantly.

“I’m sorry,” Nico said, instead of a greeting.

“You don’t have to be,” Will told him, and Nico let him inside. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nico shook his head, leading Will further into the apartment. Just the living room was larger than Will’s entire apartment - twice the size, probably. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I-- Normally there’s someone here that knows how to deal with me, but my sister moved away and Jason is on a business trip, and--”

“You don’t have to explain,” Will said. “You need help, so I’m here. How can I help?”

“We never talked about you having to sleep here,” Nico reminded him. “I can pay you double.”

“What? No, you’re not paying me anything for this,” Will said. “You asked me to come here to sleep, didn’t you? You’re not paying me to sleep, that’s crazy. So, do you want me to sleep on the couch and you can wake me up if you have another nightmare?”

Nico shook his head again. “Would you mind...sleeping in my room? With me?”

For a second, Will wished he’d heard that wrong. Sleep with him? In his bed? Next to his very attractive, very platonic sugar daddy? Waking up next to his hot sugar daddy?

“Uh, no, no problem at all,” he managed to get out. “Lead the way, I guess.”

Nico turned and walked through a door. On the other side, Will saw a bed so big that he didn’t think it would fit inside his apartment. Nico climbed into the bed, crawling under the covers, and stared at Will expectantly until he closed the door behind himself and made his way to the other side of the bed.

He dropped his backpack beside the bed and pulled his t-shirt off over his head, stuffing it in his bag before sitting down on the edge of the bed. He turned and got under the covers, finding Nico watching him as he did so. They laid down on their sides, facing each other.

“So, um,” Will started, voice soft like he didn’t want to disturb the quiet of the room around them. “I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of a cuddler.”

“Oh. Um. Yeah, me...too?”

Will smiled in the dark. “You really sound like it,” he teased gently. “You’re probably, like, an aggressive cuddler, right? Big spoon or little spoon?”

Nico huffed, though instead of sounding frustrated, Will thought it might just be his way of accepting the teasing. “Alright, fine, I’m not a...cuddler.”

“I kind of realized.”

“But...little spoon, probably.”

Will’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Are you saying that you want to cuddle?”

Nico hesitated. “Not if you’re going to be weird about it.”

“No, no, not gonna be weird. Just a little surprised,” Will told him. “So, can I…?” He scooted closer and carefully draped an arm around Nico’s waist.

He felt Nico stiffen momentarily before relaxing, and he even shifted slightly closer.

“Is this okay?” Will whispered, and when Nico nodded, Will felt his hair brushing against his chin. “You’ll wake me up if you have another nightmare, right?” Nico nodded again and pressed even closer. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“Night.” Nico rested his forehead against Will’s collarbone. He felt like he could barely breathe, though he wasn’t sure if it was the position they were in or his sky-high anxiety level. He could feel Will’s chest moving with each breath and feel each puff of air in his hair. Slowly, Nico matched his breathing to Will’s, finally relaxing completely and drifting off to sleep.

Nico woke up feeling warm and content with a comfortable weight against his back and wrapped around him. There was a noise that he didn’t recognize, but that must have been what woke him up, and suddenly the weight and warmth and contentment disappeared as legs untangled from his and the mattress moved under the shifting weight.

Nico rolled over onto his other side, chasing the warmth but unable to find the source until he opened his eyes. The noise stopped when Will tapped on his phone, and then he was pulling a shirt on over his head.

“What’re you doing?” Nico mumbled, wanting to reach out for Will but not wanting to sacrifice his arm to the cold air outside of the warm sheets. “Where’re you going? Come back.”

Will spun around to face him. He knelt on the edge of the bed and brushed the fingers of one hand against Nico’s cheek. “I have class,” he whispered. “Go back to sleep. Call me later, and I’ll come back, okay?”

“Okay,” Nico replied, and felt something soft against his forehead - lips, maybe, like Will had kissed him. He might have panicked about it if he wasn’t already asleep once more.

Will changed out of his sweatpants and into a pair of jeans, picked his backpack up off the floor, and sneaked out of the room without waking Nico a second time. He desperately needed coffee after only getting a few hours of sleep, but he also didn’t know how long it would take to get to class now that he wasn’t leaving from his own apartment, so he would have to suffer through his first class without.

It wasn’t until he was sitting down in his usual seat in his Monday morning lecture - third row from the front, fifth seat from the end closest to the door - that his morning finally caught up to him. He...kissed Nico. He kissed Nico. On the forehead. He kissed him goodbye and then told him to call him later, which meant that Will only had a few hours to feel perfectly normal again.

He could barely focus through the lecture, only taking a half-page of notes instead of his usual two or three, thinking instead about the feeling of holding Nico in his arms. Thinking about the way that Nico’s bedhead made him look so much softer. About how he’d asked Will back into bed with him. How he’d sighed so contentedly when Will kissed his forehead.

Class ended and people started packing up around him. He scrambled to shove his pencils and notebook and handouts into his backpack so that he could run out of there and get to a coffeeshop before his next class started. He hoped that some well-needed caffeine would keep his mind on track and focused on class, and while he managed to stop replaying that morning in his head, his mind decided to start creating new scenarios that had never and probably would never happen: lazy mornings waking up next to each other, holding Nico close in bed and kissing every bit of skin he could reach, climbing on top of him and crawling in between his legs and--

Will’s phone buzzed in his pocket, making him jump in his seat. He slid his phone out of his pocket, holding it out of sight so that his professor wouldn’t see, and opened the text from Nico. He was asking Will to stop by his office after classes that day. Will knew that Nico had a copy of his class schedule, so he would know that Will was avoiding him if he didn’t go straight after the end of class - which was in less than an hour.

By the time that his class finally ended, Will had come to terms with the fact that he was just going to have to face Nico. He was practically asleep when Will left, anyway, so he probably didn’t remember that Will kissed him! He might not have even realized that Will kissed him! There was nothing to be worried about, he was just going to sit and hang out, maybe review everything that he hadn’t paid attention to during his class.

He Ubered to Nico’s office building as soon as he was out of class, smiling at the receptionist in the lobby and nodding politely to anyone he came across on his way up to Nico’s office. He could hear whispers and feel stares following him as he made his way through the building, mostly mentions of Nico’s name and he could make out a few snippets of conversation where people tried to discern why Will might be visiting so frequently.

He did his best to ignore them as he made his way to Nico’s office, knocking lightly on the door before walking inside, like Nico had told him to do from the beginning - he shouldn’t worry about interrupting any conversation Nico might be having because Nico probably didn’t want to be having that conversation in the first place.

Nico smiled at him when he walked in, and Will felt himself relax instantly at the sight. Nico was finishing up a phone conversation, so Will shut the door quietly and made his way to the couch up against one of the walls. He didn’t know why Nico had a couch in his office, but it was a nice place to sit and study that didn’t make him feel like he should be getting scolded for sitting across the desk from someone important.

Will could hear Nico sigh when he hung up the phone, but then he was smiling at Will again and saying, “Hi. How was class?”

Will shrugged because, honestly, he couldn’t remember. “You know, the usual. How’s...here?”

“The same,” Nico replied. “Did you have lunch yet? I’m starving. I’ve been wanting sushi all day.”

“You’ve been awake for four hours, maybe,” Will joked.

Nico rolled his eyes. “And I’ve been wanting sushi for all of those hours. Should I order you something, too?”

Will shook his head. “No thanks, I’m not all that hungry.”

“Are you sure? I can order from someplace that has more than just sushi, if you’re not in the mood for that.” Nico raised an eyebrow at him in between searching his phone’s delivery apps.

“Really, I’m good.”

“Okay.” Nico focused his full attention on his phone, taking a few minutes to order his lunch before turning back to Will, suddenly much less confident than before. “So, um.”

“Do you want to sit over here, so we’re not just talking at each other across the room?” Will suggested, and Nico nodded. He got up from his chair and sat next to Will on the couch. “Alright, what’s up?” Please don’t mention the kiss, please don’t remember the kiss.

“I’ve got this...thing, coming up,” Nico started. “A work thing. Like, a party? An office party. And I don’t really want to go, I especially don’t want to go alone, so can you come with me? I’ll buy you a suit, and I can pay you extra for it.”

Oh, thank god. “Nico, I would be happy to go with you to this work-thing-office-party. And you don’t have to offer to pay me for stuff just because you think I won’t want to do it, or whatever. I’m happy to help whenever you need me.”

Will was expecting Nico to huff at him for refusing the extra pay once again, but his frustrated look suddenly turned to confusion. “You didn’t say no to the suit.”

“That’s right, I didn’t,” Will said. “I don’t have suit money, so I’m fine if you want to pay for that.”

Nico laughed, and Will thought his heart might have stopped. “Alright, I’ll look at your class schedule and make an appointment at a tailor for you for sometime this week. You’ve got a test coming up soon, right? So I’ll make sure to schedule it for after that so you don’t miss out on study time.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Nico texted him an address before he walked into the lecture hall to take his test. He said to meet him at that address after class, and wished him good luck on his test. Will smiled as he read the text, shooting off a reply before shutting his phone off and heading inside the room.

He managed to finish the test with about twenty minutes to spare, so he texted Nico when he left to let him know that he would be early. Nico told him that he was already there. Will took an Uber to the tailor’s shop, finding Nico already inside and looking at the suits on display. Will walked up beside him, and before he could even say hello, Nico turned to him and said, “Which do you like best? I like this blue one, I think it would bring out your eyes, but I think it would be more practical for you to have a black suit. That gray one on the end is nice, too, though.”

Will looked over the blue suit in front of him, peaked around the displays to check out the gray one, and glanced around at the various black suit displays throughout the room. “I guess I would say--”

“You could get all three,” Nico cut in. “You should. You can’t have just one suit.”

“But I don’t need more than one suit,” Will pointed out, though Nico didn’t seem to hear him. Or care, probably.

“Yeah, get all three, and we can decide which one you’ll wear once they’re all made. Come with me, we’ll go talk to the tailor.” He wrapped a hand gently around Will’s wrist and started leading him through the shop. When they found the tailor, he introduced himself to the two of them, and Nico explained the different materials and styles of suits that Will needed made. Once everything was handled, Nico left Will to the fitting while he went back out into the shop, this time turning his attention away from the suit displays and toward the accessories across the room.

He looked at ties and pocket squares, taking a few ties that he thought would go well with the suit colors he’d picked out and pockets squares to compliment them. He went back to Will to show him what he’d picked out and to see if he had any opinions on them, though Nico caught himself more staring at Will in the half-made suit than he did listen to what Will was saying. When he tuned back in, hearing Will say something along the lines of, “those ties are fine,” Nico excused himself back out into the shop.

He scanned over the various accessories once more, finding whatever he could think of that would show Will just how much it meant to Nico that he was willing to go to this work party with him. Will deserved nice things, and as much as he hated it when Nico spent so much money on him, Nico just couldn’t help himself. He took a watch off of one shelf, a pair of cufflinks off another.

It took about an hour for Will’s fitting to be done, and the tailor said that he could make the other two suits using the first as a template, so the two of them were free to leave. The suits would be done and ready for pickup in about of two days.

As the two left the shop, Nico turned to Will and asked, “Do you have a shirt to wear?”

Will glanced down at the shirt he was wearing. “What do you mean?”

“A shirt to wear with the suit. Do you have one?”

“Oh!” Will’s face pinked up as he thought about it. “Uh, no, I guess not. But you’ve already done enough, I can go buy one myself.”

Nico frowned. “I’m the reason you have to get it in the first place, so I’ll take care of it. We can go now, if you’re not busy? It shouldn’t take long.”

Will looked like he wanted to argue but figured it wouldn’t get him anywhere. “Alright, fine. But just one shirt, okay? I don’t need an all new wardrobe.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because not only did Nico buy him five nice shirts, but he also got belts and shoes, even new jeans and t-shirts when Nico had his driver take them to another store - Will learned that Nico only ever used Uber when he was out of town or his driver wasn’t available.

They were loaded down with shopping bags by the time Will finally convinced Nico to leave - filling the trunk of the car almost halfway. Just when Will thought he was home free, Nico asked his driver to stop at the nearest grocery store.

“Please don’t buy me groceries,” Will said.

“It’s for me,” Nico told him. “I’m out of paprika.”

Nico dragged Will into the store with him anyway, and soon enough Will was pushing around a grocery cart with eggs and milk and bread and cereal and plenty of other things that Nico insisted that Will needed. Finally, when the cart was almost too heavy to push, Will reminded Nico that they’d really only gone in for paprika, and so Nico paid for everything and they left.

After six trips up and down the stairs in Will’s apartment building, all of the bags were finally sitting in Will’s one-room apartment, taking up all the counter space in the kitchen even after Will stuffed all the cold and frozen goods into the fridge and freezer.

Will watched as Nico took in the small space around him that was now even smaller with all the bags cluttering the room. “I’ll admit that I may have gone a little bit overboard.”

Will rolled his eyes. “You think?”

Nico folded his arms over his chest, hitching his shoulders up slightly. “You sound mad.”

“I’m not mad.” He shook his head with a sigh. “I appreciate all of this, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just not used to...being spoiled like this, I guess. My whole life, I’ve had to work for anything I wanted and I just don’t feel like I’ve earned this stuff, so I guess it’s making me feel a little bit uncomfortable. Sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry,” Nico told him. “I should say sorry to you. You tried to tell me not to buy all this stuff for you but I didn’t pay attention to that. I’ll do better to listen next time.”

“Thank you,” Will said. “For saying that and for everything you got for me.”

“Of course,” Nico said softly. He stared down at Will’s shoes for a silent moment before he said, “I should, um. You probably have studying to do.”

“Right, yeah,” Will replied. “I should...do that.”

“I’ll let you know when the suits are done, since they’ll probably want you to try them on in the shop,” Nico explained. “So...I’ll see you then.”

“Sounds good.” Neither of them moved for a moment, and Will wondered why this goodbye seemed so much more awkward than usual. He had the strange urge to hug Nico, maybe even kiss him on the cheek, but that was totally unprofessional, right? So he stepped around Nico and opened the door for him to walk out. “See you later.”

It was the night before Nico’s work party. The suits had been picked up from the tailor - they all fit perfectly, and it was decided that Will would go with the classic black, like he’d expected. They’d talked about what time Will would show up at Nico’s apartment so that they had plenty of time to make it to the party.

Will was getting ready for bed - he was always exhausted by the end of the week - when Nico called him.

“Will?” he said softly, almost in a whisper.

“Nico, is everything alright?” Will asked. “Do you need me to come over?”

“No, I’m fine, I just--” He huffed, and Will allowed him time to gather his thoughts. “Is this okay? Are you sure you’re okay with going to this thing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I realized I never asked you if you even wanted to go and just assumed you were okay with it,” Nico clarified. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to.”

“Nico, I’m happy to go with you,” Will told him. “That’s what friends so, and...that’s what we are, right? Friends?”

Nico didn’t respond right away. “Right. Friends.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?” Will asked. “You sound like you could use some company.”

“No, I’m fine,” Nico insisted. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

He hung up before Will could tell him the same.

Will was dressed and ready to go by the time the Uber arrived at his apartment building to take him to Nico’s. He hadn’t spoken to Nico since the night before and he would admit that the was pretty anxious to see him again. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he walked up to Nico’s door.

Nico seemed just as anxious as Will felt, and as soon as he opened the door he looked ready to run.

“Are you ready to leave?” Nico asked, closing the door behind himself. He probably would have booked it to the elevator had Will not caught him by the arm.

“Woah, hang on,” Will said. “We’ve got, like, ten minutes before we need to go. Can we go inside for a second?”

“Why can’t we just leave?” Nico tried again.

“Because you seemed weird on the phone last night, and I want to make sure you’re okay,” Will told him. “Please?”

Nico sighed and walked back into the apartment, leaving Will to follow him in. Will took a seat on the couch, waiting for Nico to join him, but he stayed standing, arms crossed, facing Will but not looking at him.

“Nico,” Will said calmly, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Will pressed. “You don’t seem fine. You can talk to me, you know. That’s what I’m here for.”

Nico folded in on himself somewhat, his shoulders curling in, and suddenly Will was reminded of the uncomfortable Nico he first met at that coffeeshop months ago.

Will got up off the couch and went to stand in front of Nico, practically forcing the other to look at him. “I’m here for you, Nico. If you need me to take care of you, you just have to ask.”

“I don’t need taking care of,” Nico replied.

“Then tell me what you’re thinking,” Will said, stepping closer and setting his hands comfortingly on Nico’s arms.

Nico still wouldn’t meet Will’s eyes. “I want you to come with me to this stupid work thing because I might die if I’m let alone to my own discomfort.”

Will smiled. “That I can do.”

Nico looked up at him through his lashes, and Will felt his heart jump at the sight. “Can we go now?”

This time when Nico tried to leave Will didn’t stop him. They both got into the backseat of Nico’s driver’s car, and they started moving. Nico sighed and leaned against Will’s side.

“I hope nobody tries to talk to me,” Nico started. “You know how much I hate smalltalk, especially when there’s no alcohol involved. It’s so unbearably boring, but I think it’ll be better since you’re here with me. You like smalltalk, right? So you can protect me from all the assholes who try to talk to me.”

Will laughed. “Of course, just use me as your own personal human shield.”

Nico tipped his head up and smiled at Will. “I knew I could count on you.”

The party was held on the rooftop patio of Nico’s office building. Already the place was full of people in suits and cocktail dresses, standing in clumps throughout the space or sitting around tables.

Will allowed Nico to pull him into the party, expertly dodging crowds and fighting to get to the other side of the room.

“Mr. di Angelo?” someone said, stepping in front of them and effectively blocking their path. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting to see you here. I mean, there’s just so many people here. Oh, and who might this be?”

Nico took a step back, bumping into Will, who easily slipped one hand around Nico’s waist and held his other hand out to the man in front of them. “His fiance, Will Solace. Nice to meet you, but we have to go, uh, over there. Now.”

With the hand around his waist, Will steered Nico around the man and toward an empty table near the far wall. They dropped into two of the chairs, and immediately Will grabbed Nico’s hands and said, “Shit, I’m so sorry, I just said the first thing that came to mind. I realized that we never talked about, like, who we’re supposed to be to each other. Like, in public, you know? I didn’t want to say friend or boyfriend because that sounds childish, but people would know if you were married, right? So I couldn’t say husband, either. Fiance was the first thing that popped into my head, and I’m so sorry if I messed something up.”

Nico squeezed Will’s hands. “Don’t worry about it, it’s my fault. I should have thought about that. Thank you for thinking so quickly, if it had been up to me I would have frozen until he walked away. God, that guy’s such a condescending asshole, I hate him.”

Will sighed, dropping his head down in relief. “Oh, thank god. Just...let me know if any more condescending assholes are coming over here, so I can continue being your human shield, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Will looked up at him and smiled before looking over Nico’s shoulder and seeing a tall blond man heading right toward them. “What about, uh, Blond Superman? Is he an asshole?”

Nico laughed. “Yeah, he is, but I can handle him.”

Will tried not to stare as Blond Superman walked up to them, setting a hand on Nico’s shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, Neeks, I didn’t think I would see you here tonight. Who’s this?”

Before Nico could respond, Will was on his feet, shaking the man’s hand and introducing himself once again as Nico’s fiance.

Blond Superman, still shaking Will’s hand uncertainly, raised an eyebrow at Nico.

“Uh, Will?” Nico said. “This is Jason, the friend who showed me that, um... dating website. Jason, this is Will, who I met through the site.”

Will’s eyes darted between the two of them. “Oh!” He dropped Jason’s hand suddenly and stepped out of his space. “Sorry, um. I’m not...actually his fiance.”

Jason snorted. “Yeah, I got that.”

Nico sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead. “I need a drink.”

Suddenly, there was a flask dangling right in front of his face with a smiling Jason attached to it. “I figured you would say that.”

Will left the two of them to have a conversation while he got drinks for himself and Nico. As he walked through the crowds, he was reminded of his high school’s dances, except the people were more intimidating and better dressed. There was a table set up against one wall with finger foods and drinks, so Will snagged a couple cans of coke off the end and headed back to Nico. Nico was already drinking straight out of the flask by the time Will returned.

They were there for just over an hour, Jason leaving at some point to talk to some of his coworkers and abandoning his flask with Nico - who insisted that Will drink with him so that he wasn’t drinking alone. By the time the flask was empty, Nico was leaning heavily against Will’s side as they sat and watched people throughout the room - making fun of too-short slacks or bad haircuts or Nico commenting about some of his least favorite employees.

Eventually, a lull fell in the conversation. Will draped an arm around the back of Nico’s chair. “You know,” Will started, leaning in to whisper in Nico’s ear, though he wasn’t sure if he actually whispered or if the buzz in his head made him think he did. “We don’t have to stay here if we’re just going to sit around like this. You showed the assholes that you can survive a party full of people, but if you’re not enjoying yourself, then we can leave any time you want.”

Nico tipped his head up, looking up at Will so close that their noses almost brushed. Will could feel Nico’s breath puff against his lips before he asked, “Will you come home with me tonight?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

Nico was holding Will’s hand in the backseat of the car. He was leaning against Will’s side and claiming all of Will’s attention for himself - not that Will wanted to focus on anything else. They were silent for most of the ride, save for a single whisper of, “Will?” that brought his gaze down to Nico, who swooped up and pressed his lips to Will’s.

Will kept the kiss soft and under control as Nico pressed for more, pulling away completely once the car had reached Nico’s apartment building. They hurried to the top floor, finding their way into Nico’s apartment, then the bedroom, then Will was sitting down on the edge of the bed and Nico was climbing into his lap.

Will was just drunk enough not to think about it when Nico pushed his jacket and shirt off his shoulders. He found himself kissing a path down Nico’s neck as his fingers fumbled on the buttons of Nico’s shirt, though he paused when he felt hands at his waist, tugging at his belt.

“Oh,” Will said, mind working slowly as he tried to figure out some way to get Nico to stop or slow down or something. “Wait, Nico, maybe we should...not.”

Nico pulled back, removed his hands from Will’s belt, and cupped Will’s face in his hands. “Will, please,” Nico breathed, his lips grazing against Will’s with every movement. “Take care of me. You said you would. You said you’re my fiance, right? Let me be your fiance, just for tonight.” Nico pressed their lips together once, twice, five times before Will finally pulled back, hands on Nico’s waist to hold him away. “Please.”

“Okay,” Will whispered. He wrapped his arms around Nico’s back and twisted around until he could lay Nico down on the mattress. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.” He lowered his full weight onto Nico, connecting their lips again.

Nico woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, though it was immediately eased slightly when he felt a pair of lips on his forehead.

He cracked an eye open to see a smiling Will sitting next to him on the bed, holding out a glass of water and a couple of painkillers.

“Good morning,” Will said quietly so as to not aggravate either of their hangovers. “Can I tell you something?”

Nico nodded before swallowing the pills and drinking about half the glass of water.

Will leaned in until their noses bumped together. “Are you awake enough to remember what I’m about to say?”

Nico rolled his eyes with a smile. “I’m awake.”

“Good,” Will said, and kissed the tip of Nico’s nose. “I like you. Like, really like you. Like, I want to be with you for real, and not for pay.”

Nico sat up and rubbed one of his eyes. “You don’t...want me for my money?”

“No, stupid, I want you,” Will told him.

Nico looked between Will’s eyes as if searching for the real truth behind his words. “I...like you, too.”

“So, you’ll date me? And not pay me for it?” Will asked.

Nico frowned. “I’ll still be paying for dinner, or whatever.”

Will’s smile grew. “Of course you would say that.”

thanks for reading!

buy me a coffee | more (solangelo) auctober stuff

#mine #my writing #solangelo #will solace #nico di angelo #auctober

73 notes · View notes

flameontheotherside · 3 years ago

Text

Never Enough

Guess I'm PMS-ing something so awful (doesn't mean my feelings are invalid) that I'm feeling the urge to walk 2 minutes to 7-11 just to pick up a few bottles of whine. I know it sounds mellow dramatic but my cramps hurt, booze helps it and I'm just feeling like shit about myself. I guess I'm doing what I said I wouldn't do and dwelling on the likelihood that Erik would have been like ever garbage guy I ever liked in my life.

I was so rejected. Literally just always was either a placeholder for someone better, when I wanted a serious relationship I was just to be used, when I didn't want a relationship they would belittle me, I was cheated on and lied to.

Never once believed in Twin Flames.

Never thought about soul mates like they were the only person for you. Never bought into the There-Is-Only-One-For-Me-Club. Never believed in love at first sight. My long distance relationships were for looking for some guy I knew didn't live in the same state as me. To protect him. From what? I don't fucking know.

All I cared about was him and finding him. Turns out according to a psychic just a few months before Erik's suicide, the guy I was looking for would...die. How is that for a nice fuck you in my face or in my ear? For years I was in denial he was really dead. I had to believe he was still alive for the sake of my sanity. Hahaha right? Fucking hilarious (I hate my life).

My love life was always a sick joke to be honest.

But in spite of that I still had hope in my heart and with a break in 2007-8, I tried. Until my lifelong buddy called My Intuition told me the psychic was right. I've been shutdown ever since. Bitter. Angry. Hurt. It took over 15 years and 3 abusive ex's to have Rick. I should be greatful to have Erik (even though he's dead) and Rick in my life now but I'm not. I'm not okay. Nope, especially not now.

Oh! And uh, Matt used me too...

He's dead now. No, not because of that, I don't want to know how he died. It would upset me. While we were both homeless together he used me to get back to Texas while we were in FL. Bought us both tickets. I got him a phone plan and a new phone. We were more than friends. He sent me a text breaking up with me after so much I did for him. All I asked was that he was honest. He told me he wanted me to be his gf (even begged me) and I believed him. No, I was just money to him. He apologized for everything shortly before he died. Nah, I don't really forgive him. I'm pretty solid on the pissed off right now. Not really in a forgiving mood.

Jokes on me he broke up with me through text. Then tried to cover it up by saying it was just a prank on his ex to persuade her to keep his stuff safe with her in FL. OH YEAH! I let his ass have it. I was furious. So fucking tired if men taking advantage of me. People just seeing me as some loser push-over.

How can I assume Erik would be different?!

He left me out to dry in our 3 lives. How would this be different? Because from where I sit, he left me out to dry by killing himself when if he only fucking waited, I would have found him! How fucked is that? What am I supposed to think or feel? I feel worthless and used all those years.

I'm gullible and naive and...on the spectrum. Funny thing is so was Matt and a few guys I dated who fucked me over. After every relationship I swore to God I'd become a nun. Funny thing is in one past life (yes, with Erik fyi) I did that after getting tired of prostitution.

Turns out my life of prostitution wasn't over!

Nooooooooope! My bf kindly reminded me that for the last 3 ex's I was basically a housing prostitute. Um...what? All because I had nowhere to go, homeless and vulnerable. Had no idea about shelters or shit like that until 10 years later when my ex left me while I was recovering from and OD. Yup, he pack his shit up, left mine with my brother, and made me homeless for a year. If that's not fucked up, I'd like to know what is and why someone like Matt would fuck me over after I told him that was how I became homeless?! His situation was kind of similar! His apology can kiss my brown ass.

So yeah technically I didn't love any of those shit holes. I made myself believe I loved them just so I could have a roof over my head. Went from asshole to asshole for a roof over my head. Being with Rick, am I doing it again? Idk I felt like I could trust him and he's loved me for 10 years. Knowing he's changed I told him I'd give us a try. It's been almost 2 years. He's not an addict at all and he's never been an asshole to me. So I think I'm doing something right?

Idk at this point I'm convincing myself that I'm unworthy of anything.

Even Erik. Wtf is he doing with me of all people? Why does he have to be my TF? Why couldn't he have just fucking waited? I'm so angry. I just don't understand why my life is a fucking joke. I get that I'm socially awkward and I'm not an Instagram model but I'm talented. That's it!

People tell me not to change and there's nothing wrong with me. They don't know the struggling I've been through. Over and over it's been shoved in my face that I'm nothing and that I should be ashamed of myself. What the fuck did I do to deserve it? Seriously it's something I could never figure out. Nah I can't really tell the difference between good and bad people because I'm naive and gullible....or maybe I just try to see good in the wrong people expecting them to be different when they are the fucking pieces of shit I should have never given a fuck about.

I'm not in the mood to talk to Erik. I'm so livid that I just might cry myself to sleep feeling bad about everything.

😘💕 Good night

1 note · View note

fanficsandfluff · 7 years ago

Text

Dear Evan Hansen: Enough

Connor and Evan are going through the process of becoming friends. And it looks like things are working out.

Words: 3,035

Hanging out was a phrase almost unheard of to both Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy. But since signing his cast, the duo felt some type of connection. They were one in the same lonely spirit. So maybe they could use a bit of time together.

They walked home together the first time. Clouds drifted overhead, causing the sun to play hide and seek with the world as it ducked behind the clouds every now and again. Evan was looking up at the sky and at the trees while Connor remained staring down at the floor. Two different personas. If only they could meet in the middle. Evan wanted to initiate a conversation. But every time he opened his mouth and took in a breath to speak, the words got caught in his throat and he cleared it nervously. His hand scratched away at his stomach, one of his many ticks.

Not many words were spoken that walk. But when they reached the point they had to split up to go their own ways, Connor looked back at Evan and asked, “Hey. Do you wanna... you know, do this again?”

Evan gazed back at Connor and he let out one of his nervous placeholder laughs, nodding wildly, “Y-Yeah. Yeah, that’d be great.”

Connor nodded, “See you,” and he went left down one of the streets. Evan took a breath and went right.

The second time was more of an attempt. Even though the outdoors never agreed with him much, Connor offered that they take a walk to the park. Evan did perk up at the mention of it, figuring he could spring some of his tree knowledge on Connor. Maybe he’d impress him.

“How are you?” Connor asked Evan as they walked down the neighborhood streets.

“Me? Oh, I’m fine. How’ve you been?”

Connor nodded, weighing his choice of words, “Could be worse.”

“I feel that,” Evan glanced at Connor, “Y-You know, this park is the only one in the state to have a majority White Oak trees in one concentrated location.”

Connor rose a brow, “Oh? Um, cool.”

Evan laughed, scratching behind his head, “I-I worked here over the summer. That’s how I know about the trees.”

Connor started putting pieces together, “So, this is where you broke your arm?”

Evan glanced around before nodding.

The long haired one looked around at all of the tall trees lining the path through the park, “Which tree was it?”

Evan looked shocked that Connor would even ask that. Sure, this happened last summer, and his cast was long gone. But still. Who was he kidding? He couldn’t forget the spot he was stuck in for ten minutes. Just laying there.

Evan pointed, “Over there by the water fountain.”

Connor looked and turned, “Come on. Follow me.”

Evan walked faster to keep up with Connor’s lanky legs and wide strides. They tried a few trees before Evan disclosed which was the one he really fell from. Upon seeing it and the spot he fell in, he grabbed his once broken arm.

Connor threw his bookbag down on the ground and looked up at the tree. He looked back at Evan, “I can’t believe you fucking fell from a tree.”

Evan blushed and he shrugged, “Wehell... you know. I’m not exactly strong or athletic or anything like that.”

Connor went close to the trunk and he raised his arms to grip it, finding a foothold in its streaky body. He started climbing up it, “You coming?”

Evan practically shook in his shoes, just seeing Connor go up the tree. But hey, this was his new friend. He had to impress him and show him he wasn’t a wuss. When Connor was some ways up the trunk, Evan climbed on. He lost his footing once and slipped down to the ground. Connor quickly looked down to make sure Evan was alright. Luckily, the blonde wasn’t far from the ground when he slipped. Still, it gave him a fright and his heartbeat raced. But Evan persevered.

Connor held onto a strong branch and swung from it before going higher. Evan kept his eyes pointed upwards, not looking down. He wasn’t looking back. He kept going upwards into the thick branches and leaves of the tree. He held onto a branch and paused, having one hand gripping it and the rest of his limbs hugging the trunk.

Connor watched from a little ways above, sitting on a branch. It was something to watch Evan climb this tree. But he was nervous. One thought ran through his mind. Don’t let go.

Evan got his wits back about him and hoisted himself up onto that branch in order to pull himself up higher on the tree. He looked up at Connor and observed, “Bohoy, you got up there quick.”

Connor smiled softly for the first time being around Evan and he shrugged, “I guess I’m better at this than you.”

Evan chuckled anxiously and he continued climbing up to the very thick branch Connor was already sitting on. Evan panted when he was almost there, and he saw a hand reach in front of his face. Looking up, Connor had extended his hand to him to help pull him up the rest of the way. Evan took it and they were soon sitting side by side on the branch, way up in the tree.

“You made it,” Connor stated.

Evan smiled. It was true. He made it. And he didn’t do it alone. He seemed to keep looking between the ground way below them and Connor. Connor glanced back to Evan and he grinned, nudging Evan’s side and pointing right out in front of them.

Evan turned his head and his eyes widened. The view from up on that tree was once in a lifetime. It was a sea of blue sky and spots of clouds. The sun was just peaking from the left through a bundle of leaves. It looked endless.

“I doubt you ever got to enjoy the view last time you were here.”

Evan was slowly coming to terms with all of this. How did Connor know so much? It was like he was speaking from his own recollection. Evan held his arm again, thumb brushing against the healed skin. And the two sat there in a content silence, staring out at the world below them.

Connor soon yawned and he stretched, nudging Evan, “C’mon, my ass is going numb,” he grinned and climbed over Evan to start the trek down the tree.

Evan swallowed and chewed on his lip. Connor, again, seemed to read his mind when he said, “And this time, don’t fucking plummet to the ground. I’ll be right under you.”

Evan huffed out a laugh and he swung himself onto the trunk again, taking deep breaths. He shimmied his way down, afraid to look anywhere but side to side, making sure his arms were securely around the tree. He thought he slipped a few times, but he just held on tight and didn’t move. After some time, Evan finally reached the ground and turned around to see a smiling Connor.

“Congrats. You conquered the tree,” Connor gestured to the giant they just mastered.

Evan looked back at it and he giggled in disbelief, “Yeahah...” his arm was suddenly yanked and he jolted forward, seeing Connor had grabbed his arm.

Connor had rummaged through his bag for a sharpie and he started writing on Evan’s wrist. Evan watched him, smiling and jerking once because it tickled. When he was finished, Evan saw that Connor had written his name though not as big as when he had it on his cast.

“I figured you needed a better memory about this tree and this park,” Connor explained, shrugging. Evan smiled wide, not believing it.

Connor slung his backpack over his shoulder and began walking, “Wanna lay in the grass? That seems like a thing you’d do.”

Evan practically skipped with happiness to catch up with Connor, “Yeah, I guess it does, doesn’t it?”

Connor smiled at Evan. He knew everything he was doing was helping Evan. And that, in return, made him feel better. They laid in the grass together, staring up at the sky, and pointing at clouds. They talked more now. About little things. Music they liked, foods they hated, funny stories. And that was enough.

Now Evan and Connor were acting more like friends. They’d pass by each other in school and even walk to each other’s classes. A week or so after the park trip, Connor invited Evan to his house. Evan was both excited and terrified at the invitation, but he accepted.

After school, they walked to Connor’s house together. Along the way, Connor was running ahead to show Evan how to click his heels together in the air. He’d spin around and bow at Evan after completing each one. And while Evan never did try it himself, it was enough for Connor to make Evan laugh after each heel click.

“I brought Evan over,” Connor announced when he entered the house, not really wanting to interact with anyone anyway.

Mrs. Murphy came out and she smiled, “Hi! You’re Evan? Connor’s talked all about you!” and she walked forward and hugged Evan. Evan could see Connor blushing slightly. He talked about him? How often? Was he really conversation worthy?

“Alright, let him go. He doesn’t need you suffocating him,” Connor cut in, “We’re gonna be in my room.”

Evan smiled at Mrs. Murphy when she let him go and he nodded, “T-Thank you for letting me come over!” and he walked after Connor.

“Your mom seems really nice,” Evan said once they were in Connor’s room and the long haired one closed the door.

“Hmph. Yeah, when she has guests over.”

Evan looked around the room, not having ever seen the inside of it before. Hell, he’d never even been in Connor’s house before. And it was nice!

Evan set his backpack on the ground and he looked at Connor attempting to tidy up, “So you talk about me?”

Connor froze and he cleared his throat, “Well, I mean, sometimes. Only if we did something and my parents actually cared about where I was. Which was basically never.”

Evan smiled softly, still touched. Connor brushed off his hands and he flopped down onto his bed, “Sit. I’ll put on a movie.”

“What happened to doing homework together?”

Connor laughed derisively, “You thihink I actually do homework?”

Evan shrugged, “No, yeah, you’re right. I mean... whooo cares?” he held up his hands and chuckled awkwardly.

Connor stared at Evan and nodded slowly, “Uh huh.”

Evan quickly sat down on the bed to erase more awkward tension and he watched Connor’s laptop screen as he tried picking a movie. Once they settled on one, the two sat and watched it together.

Connor was picking at his nail polish absentmindedly as the film went on, and he glanced at Evan’s nails, saying, “Hey, would you mind if I paint your nails?”

Evan was caught off guard by the question and he held up his hands, “I-I dunno, I guess it’s fine. I’ve never had them painted before.”

Connor stood up and shuffled around through some desks before pulling out his equipment, “It’s relaxing for me to paint nails.”

“How’d you learn to do it?” Evan asked, scooting to face Connor when he sat back on the bed.

“Ihit isn’t rocket science, Evan,” Connor smirked.

“Did you ever paint Zoe’s?”

Connor’s face fell slightly but he quickly recovered, “Not since she was really little.”

Evan nodded, unsure where to put his hands. Connor pulled them into his lap, one on each knee.

“Don’t I get to pick the color?”

Connor grinned, “I already know what color I want to give you.”

“Oho great. I’m sure it’s a perfectly boyish, badass color.”

Connor giggled at that and applied the base coat first. Evan tilted his head to watch the movie as Connor concentrated on painting his nails.

“There,” Connor said suddenly, as if no time had gone by.

Evan lifted up his hands and gave a crooked smile. They were a deep blue. Not yet navy, but it was a nice color.

“You’re always so bleh so I figured I’d give you blue. Plus, all the clothes you have are somehow blue,” Connor poked Evan’s stomach.

Evan giggled and jerked, “Wehell, it is my favorite color.”

Connor smiled, “Want me to do your toenails, too?” he grinned, “So you match?”

“No, you don’t have to,” Evan said, shaking his head.

“Come on, this shit’s therapeutic for me,” Connor leaned down to take Connor’s socks off, but the blonde giggled and kicked his legs out.

“Hehehey! Would you stohop doing that? It... you know.”

Connor smiled at Evan, “It what?” he skittered his fingers on the socked sole, once again making Evan squeak and jerk his foot, “It what, Evan?”

“Ihit tickles!” Evan pulled his knees in on himself.

Connor sat up, surprised with the sudden playful atmosphere in the room. He hadn’t felt this mischievous in a long time. And this teasing nature.. where the hell did that come from?

“You shouldn’t move around too much, your nails have to dry,” Connor instructed, but he pinched Evan’s kneecaps.

Evan squeaked again and his legs lowered enough for Connor to mount him and grin down at him as he straddled the blonde. He placed his fingers on Evan’s belly, not yet moving them. But Evan was already a giggly mess, jerking in anticipation of the whole affair.

“Keep your arms up,” Connor smirked before digging into Evan’s soft belly.

Evan shrieked and he bucked. He didn’t remember ever being tickled. Perhaps his mom did when he was little, but only quick bursts to get him to smile. Nothing ever as prolonged as this attack. Even though it tickled like hell, Evan still kept his arms pulled into his chest, not wanting to move them and ruin the nail polish, like Connor instructed.

Connor was impressed by Evan’s self restrain, “Do you like this or something?” he danced his fingers up Evan’s sides and ribs, up and down like a piano.

Evan blushed and he shook his head, “Nohohoho! AHAHAhahaha! Connor!” he snorted when Connor slid a hand up under Evan’s polo, scritching his nails away at his sensitive skin. Connor dipped his pinkie finger into Evan’s belly button, eliciting another squeal from the young man.

“Dear Evan Hansen,” Connor began a new wave of teasing, enjoying himself a little too much, “Today’s gonna be a good day, and here’s why.... My best bud Connor is gonna tickle me silly!”

Evan curled up as best he could, his arms now starting to unfurl and push at Connor. The blush on his cheeks was as red as any tomato, and all he could do was laugh.

Connor smiled and he pinched at Evan’s hips, seeing his laughter drop down to giggles, but his jerking escalate.

“Nohohoho mohore! Cohonnor, plehehease!”

Connor chuckled and he shot his hands up under Evan’s arms. He wiggled into the unsuspecting hollows and Evan’s arms clamped down over them. Now that his fingers were trapped, Connor had free reign over controlling Evan’s laughter.

Evan shook his head back and forth, “I CAHAHAN’T! PleheheHEASE! Cohohonnor, I cahahahan’t tahahahahake it! HaHAHAHAhahaha!”

Connor didn’t want to let up. Evan was happy! Just look at him! Look at his unabashedly happy smile, his deep laugh, his crinkled eyes. Still, the guy needed to breathe. Connor relented and he hopped off of Evan, looking at him.

“Ohoho my fuhucking god....” Evan panted, still giggling.

“You’re really ticklish,” Connor pointed out, smiling.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Evan rolled onto his back and he smiled now, wide and unrestrained. He held up his hands to check if the paint was dry.

Turns out it was and Evan sat up now, eyeing Connor, “What about you? Is the moody Connor Murphy ticklish?”

Connor tried his hardest to refrain from blushing, giving Evan an almost convincing huff and a shake of his head, “Ohof course not. It would clash with my persona.”

“Then can I test it out anyway?” Evan leaned closer to Connor, clearly nervous about his request and what he was about to do. Having this much physical interaction with one person was a new experience, and Evan didn’t know how far he should push it.

“Fuck no,” Connor ducked backwards when Evan simply leaned forward.

Evan smiled and he chuckled delightedly, quickly reaching out a hand and pinching Connor’s skinny side with it. Connor squeaked and batted the hand away.

“Fuhuck! Don’t!”

But Evan was already sucked in by that laugh. He tackled Connor and scratched his fingers all along the other’s torso. Connor laughed louder than Evan, it seemed. Evan was probably more reserved simply because he didn’t know how ticklish he really was and didn’t want to scare Connor off. But Connor Murphy was one ticklish guy.

Eventually having tuckered themselves out, Connor and Evan lay side by side in the twin bed, both breathing heavily. Both had smiles on their faces. A good day can rear it’s face out of any situation. An average school day can lead into laughter and nail painting in a flash.

“You can--You can stay over if you want,” Connor offered bashfully, unsure if he was moving too fast for Evan or not.

Evan turned his head and he smiled, “I’d love to.”

They were both tentative, neither wanting to lead the budding friendship and relationship. But they worked slow. And as long as it took them, it was okay. They knew they had each other, and they were enough.

#ticklish!evan #ticklish!connor #dear evan hansen #deh #dear evan hansen fanfiction #evan hansen #connor murphy #evan and connor

121 notes · View notes