#he has pathetic man swag

[raffinthebox]

Behold! The party's favourite NPC!

Tenue Versor (he/him) Professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts

Head of Slytherin house. Versor hides a lot of secrets, but you don't need to uncover them to know the man was born to be a teacher. Even so, the party is working hard to unveil the mysteries around him by traumatizing him at each meeting.

Campaign: A day at Hogwarts Mastered by: @all-unwoven

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

[nervosims]

gunnar roque is so fine and i'm tired of pretending he's not

[red-black-aesthetic-bout]

it's so funny that nobody is meaner to quattro bajeena than people who seem to like him

[numberonepartyboy]

mmm dad ronin.

[weaponizedducks]

poor shiro cannot catch a fucking break can he. first he gets a crippling disease he's got two years to live. then an angsty wattpad breakup with his boyfriend then he gets kidnapped by aliens and pumped full of alien weed then he crashes on earth with so much walking midlife crisis energy that he gains the skinning puppies to make a fur coat hair, and then he immediately gets shot right back into space by his shittass little brother and weirdo friends with the literal matt clone. then this poor man is made the leader of an alien war, becomes a father to four fuckass teenagers through accidental child acquisition, is forced into the kim kardashian lifestyle by a ginger on drugs, gets kidnapped again, gets cloned, fucking dies, somehow comes back (yeah I'm not really clear about this) then this pathetic wet cat of a man, this stressed jean valjean father of four, experiencing his fourth midlife crisis and millionth mental breakdown, gains that senior citizen swag at twenty five. you could colour match his hair with a polar bear. then he witnesses a walking loreal ad (derogatory) get melted alive, watches a castle get blown up, loses three years in a space time jump and then finds out his ex- fiance who broke up with him right before he left has fucking died in a purple thumb invasion before he got to marry him. but oh no no no that's not the end for this poor sad man. poor guy doesn't get a second to grieve before he is visually assaulted by a less cunty sue sylvester ripoff and her gang of bitchy cheerios (this is admiral s*nda), and yet again made a leader against his will, and shot right back off into space again. then he watches the only other responsible adult in this entire franchise (hot badass space princess who like shiro did not catch a break) sacrifice herself and is left a struggling father. ends up marrying some random fucko. all while suffering through his shitass hot topic brother and blueberry disaster's doomed yaoi romance. oh yeah and he's only got one arm. give the guy a BREAK. FREE my man he doesn't deserve this 🔥🔥

[serialadoptersbracket]

Bonus Round: Elric Brothers Custody Battle (aka “mod’s brother is going to kill her”)

(As before with the Narumitsu edition, winner of this custody battle gets the kids)

Submitted kids:

Izumi Curtis, Roy Mustang: Edward and Alphonse Elric

Propaganda under the cut!

Izumi Curtis:

“#Are we really leaving teacher in the dust here #The things she did for the elric brothers' world view #Also mine. As a young child who would grow up into a big strong lesbian #Her and her husband sig? I'm sorry to say but this too is yuri #Goals. I look at sig Curtis and I go. My God. I have to get butcher #Ba dum tss #G. Get it #Because he. Because they run a b. A butcher shop he's a butcher”

Roy Mustang:

1. “This pathetic cringefail loser of a man managed to raise and guide two traumatized children into becoming well-adjusted adults. He also gets bonus points because those kids end up saving the world from disaster.

Also he's hot sometimes”

2. “He has two(2) sons!!!!! Weird little traumatized children!!!! He's also soooo dad shaped(a mass murderer)!!!! He such a loser too!! I love him so much I wanna chew on him <3”

3. “ok i'm not into fma buts its a popular source and my oomfs r into it and i hear a lot about them. like top five things i hear about whenever i hear them talk about fma. hashtag war criminal family swag”

[treeba-rk]

a small collection of shit the tumblr treebark community has tagged about cc!renchanting. Everyone feel free to contribute, many of these are pretty recent (from the infinite pining era), not from old posts!

#omg just call him hes not your ex   #i think about this so much. bro really was just like man that guy was weird. i think i’m in lo— #also this was very heterosexual of martyn. #relationship goals (they are not dating) #I hate them so much I fucking hate them #MARTYN WHEN I CATCH YOU MARTYN #can martyn like get a job #is this real?? #never a boring day following martyn on Tumblr #once again im reblogging the gayest ass mcyt fanart from none other than martyn in the little wood #martyn this is a really gay post to reblog /silly #its the single pathetic bisexual dogboy swag # everyone say thank youse to false #theyre having gay sex in that box. ok! #this is why joel betrayed dogwarts right at the start #fellas is it gay to do Whatever this is #treebark in the eyes of those around them is apparently horrifying #the server has chemicals in the water that turns the fucking ccs gay for Ren diggity Dog #Jesus christ #martyn intheliitlewood what are you doing in my falafal #I almost went full crazy insane treebark fangirl in the tags until I saw martyn inthelittlewood official reblogged it #SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA ENTER YOUR SLUT ERA AND THAT IS FINE TOO #fuckin slay martyn go kiss men Now we just pray he doesn't find the smut artists and find out people assume he's a bottom #he broke into our house and won’t leave :( turns out he’s the one who built the house? i think that’s why we let him stay #‘classic treebark bait’ MY ASS #martyn that shit is straight out of a fanfic #i think martyn can lurk in treebark tag if he wants #martyn once again outing himself as a renboy #shoutout to cherri for the renchanting propaganda god bless #WTF REN YOU CANT DO THIS TO US #they make me homophobic #mans woke up in a cold sweat checked his tumblr askbox wrote That and then fucked off for the rest of the day like nothing happened #the m in martyn stands for manic pixie dream girl #people be normal in the tags challenge: failed #why is martyn writing fanfiction and putting it on my dash at 3 am? #Top 10 Signs You Should Dm Him:#Number 1: you're writing fanfiction in tumblr ask box answers

this is an incredible collection and i am flabbergasted by how you keep track of this. treebarkblr is hilarious

<3 <3 <3

[cpu-gpu-smackdown]

P03 (Inscryption) Five Pebbles (Rain World) VS Hera (Wolf 359)

About P03: WEIRD OLD MAN!!! Look at his faces!! His design!! This thing has the energy of a computer who has gone though a divorce and only drinks energy drinks mixed with coffee and orange juice!!! He was also a weird stoat (???) and may or may not be a hacker (just like a certain cat expect P03 just hates everyone also he isnt swag) HE IS PATHETIC!! HE HAS A CRANK TOO LIKE THOSE OLD FUCKING FLASHLIGHTS AND UIJKBUYDGHAIJMKLDNBHVBGUK

About Five Pebbles: He's an asshole, he's a giant history nerd, he's THAT guy on discord, he's suicidal, he also doesn't want to die, when he tried to create a creature to override his programming so he could kill himself he hogged all the water basically killing his older sister and when she begged him to stop he messed up the whole thin and now he has terminal brain cancer that hunts and eats creatures, he also cares for said older sister very much. There is more but i don't have the strength or time to write it all out rn

About Hera: I love her. She's my favorite character of all time. Her creator gave her disabling anxiety so she wouldn't be able to escape and gain her freedom. She spends her time trying to think around her code and come up with ways to kill her human crew, but every time she accidentally nearly gets them killed she freaks out. She's best friends with the laziest and least motivated of her crewmembers. She sees All. She comes up with names for the colors the star emanates but that humans can't see. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

[scarletmeer]

The reason Vergil is my favorite DMC character is because he’s a pathetic sopping wet cat of a man. He’s that bitch and men and women alike wish they had his swag. He’s a mass murderer. He is the storm that is approaching. His ptsd has ptsd. He has canonically fucked. He’s terminally maidenless. He ripped his own son’s arm off and left him to bleed out on the garage floor and may have to have a relationship with Nero in spite of that. The Yamato is cool as fuck. He probably spent a few years in a jar in Agnus’s basement. He dresses like an old man. He’s responsible twin-coded but has fucked up more and worse than Dante ever will. He’s babygirl.

Nero is a close second because he <3

[punkeropercyjackson]

Dark Percy hoes:Percy is the PiNacle of REAL masculinity,,,,,,he'S the big man in charge and puts all the inferior s in their place,,,,,,,,he's MACHO and A WOKE REVOLUTIONIST!!!!!!!!

Me:Percy dresses like Mabel Pines but punk and she's a trans monoracial afrolatina with long princess hair and has a vegetable garden and a ceramics collection and listens to Mcr and she's a misandrist who killed Luke in Tlo and scared the gods into fixing their shit and Jason is her boyfriend she's down bad for over his trans team dad ex-wolfgirl turned boydork swag and he calls her babygirl and thinks she's the ultimate goddess because of how human she is and worships her to the point it's pathetic and she's basically Nico and Hazel's mom and nurtures them like one but also teaches them to be punk asses

[charactersmashorpass-2]

"His loser swag has captivated me + a really cool design as a hero + he's a good kind man at heart despite outside appearances. Who doesn't love a pathetic looking dark-haired guy who's actually pretty badass?"

[animentality]

My friend doesn't understand why I'm so obsessed with Gortash and she's like he's ugly, though, you know that, right?

And I was like maybe he's ugly but have you considered just how fucking hot that is?

In the words of Tumblr.

Exceptional ugliness has become divine.

He could be a fucking Genshin faced anime boy, or a Final Fantasy twink baby man, or some boring ass Ryan Reynolds mocap motherfucker, but I would be significantly less interested in him if he was.

You don't understand me and you never will.

I love him for his soul. His evil horrible twisted rotten villainous soul that is bad and so not good.

I love him for his pathetic sad boy wet kitten ways.

I love him for his pathetic cunty swag-less bitching and complaining and his pompous arrogant thick head and his stupid emo boy hair and his horrible yet effective drip.

But mostly I love him because he's beautiful. Step off.

That man is a work of art. You might not appreciate him, but I do.

You just wish you could love the way I do, wholly and delusionally and without reason.

[muffin-man-marq-lynch]

The thing about that post-match promo is that it's absolutely brilliant but kind of hilarious too

1001% a fantastic angle to take on Swerve's character as a whole as well as the Wembley match, I was talking about how Hangman's arc as the only one to call out that the emperor has no clothes is great, where MJF had a bit of the same thing when he had his heel turn again but Swerve? Swerve is on another level. Generational Champ level. Make the crowd chant Swerve's House as you break into someone else's house. Make the crowd chant 'Yes' for you while you beat the snot out of Wheeler Yuta when there was a famous Ramp up of people screaming for Yuta as the fan fave almost overnight as the underdog. Beat fan fave Ospreay. Snap arms as a finisher. Drive the OG beloved mascot of the Franchise to Insanity, obsession, and near heel status. Swervemania just grows by the day. They just love you more.

Is it the song? Nana and the dance? The athletic skills and variety in the ring? Attention to character detail? Just the killer swag and (let's be real we see it) massive dick with accompanying BDE? Whatever the star power we have The Derangement and they're playing with it.

MJF and Hangman and others have made the audience the villain this season. It's great. We've ruined things, but they need us and our approval so they're stuck. But where does that leave Swerve?

I have this thought, this recurring quote from Rick and Morty actually: "Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer." I'm thinking about the inverse of that effect. How if nothing you do is now tied to any threat of social failure or success... You start building your own metrics for success, or you have a meltdown when you realize that the void is meaningless.

Jericho and the Young Bucks are having the time of their lives revamping themselves as Heels doing whatever they want as often as they want pretty much. Swerve has spoken about how he came in and identified Hangman as the main character of AEW, now living without conflict after resolving his arcs, happy and loved by all at the Top. Bryan is at the end of his career as possibly the GOAT, preaching his 'i'm just here having a good time, so mentally healthy, proud of my kids and #grateful for every moment' philosophy.

If Swerve understands he can do no harm, or cannot fail / be killed in any way that truly matters... That's boring. There's no fight, no challenge, no real opposition no matter who steps up that week.

So if there aren't any storebought, make your own.

Breaking Hangman psychologically until he becomes as mutually obsessed as Swerve was, then more so when Swerve reverses on him to ignore him when he comes back, desperately screaming that he lost Everything to Swerve for no reason, and we love Swerve for it... Yeah. He's right.

Now we're taking another legend that can't be bothered with more than just phoning it in despite what he says, whom the audience can't turn against in any way that really matters, absolutely just fumbling around until we finally flick that switch in Bryan's brain from '#blessed' to 'i am no longer having a Good Time, call PETA and have them revoke my lifetime membership already because I'm going to beat you up and down this road like the 4H cow placing last at the country fair on the way to the slaughterhouse'. He's been full on Vibing all night, and suddenly the pale blue shirt isn't just Dadcore for cheering Yuta on but doing that thing where his Icicle Eyes are full blast.

And I'm recognizing this switch is hot AF and intense and I am Much more hype for Wembley, but also I'm just thinking about everything from Swerve's POV and laughing because so many things about this evening and promo are just a little ridiculous:

Yuta just being Jobber for the stars but man he isn't allowed to do much more than be pathetic

Hey babe I heard you and your gang like complicated intense submission holds that hurt like a motherfucker and you're still pretending not to notice me when I stand in the corner and flex my tits at you every 15 seconds so I invented one that's so complicated and cool looking the announcers are flabbergasted into stopping interrupting the match with exhausted repetitions of the PPV card at the bottom of the screen. You like it?

'And you know Yuta's tough he's no Punk' Tony I can't tell if that was a CM Punk joke or a genuine comment lmao

The walk back to medical taking so long

Claudio is in the building and Swerve said he wanted to feast on the rest of the BCC but he's already booked with Okada for Cardiff so they locked him in that same room Will Ospreay was in and he couldn't come out and watch or help carry Yuta

Yuta isn't allowed to say things he's 100% in dead cat mode and you can see him fighting it in the promo while they walk down 8 halls or something which is supposed to build tension but is like two aisles too many

Danielson shooting the cameraman the dirtiest look before he starts talking and ending with 'now get the fuck out out of here' like damn what did the cameraman do

Yuta slowly crawling off the cot on hands and knees as soon as Bryan is talking exit stage left

Actually I'mma headcanon the cameraman was Prince Nana sent to get a statement that's funny

Once again 'he's like a son to me' yes ok Bryan you were cheering enthusiastically and encouraging Swerve to beat the crap out of your 27 year old son at ringside you're sending mixed signals here

'CHECK. What happened to the last person who broke into my house.'

Love it. So we're still in the 50/50 space but it's been escalated to 'Retain / Peak Insane Automatic Violence.'

I don't have a comment here I just love that this is how he has always spoken and that he followed through.

Imagine being the other guy. You get back to your gang of likely other felony warrant holding criminals, and they say 'Where's the loot? And where's Sosa?

And you have to turn to them and deadly serious say 'I think Daniel Bryan killed him. I wasn't stopping but I could swear I hear him whispering something about cowardice, his kid, and cardiovascular health into his ear before Sosa's eyes closed.

[dizzybizz]

rahghhh ok hi 👋 farmer ramble time

this is my meanie nyx he kinda sucks 😚 he has a scary face and cold demeanor (ive been wanting a mean farmer for a while.. remy was originally supposed to be a scary guy but i poured too much autism awkward and scared swag into him whoops) he lowkey gives sickly vampire whos also sick of everything.

i always interact with the trash cans when i walk past them, right, n i decided that instead of rummaging through them. nyx just. kicks them. hes a petty pathetic fucker ok.

he's gonna have so many dinosaurs one day. his second one is on the way atm. man fished up a dino egg n his whole life shifted trajectory. his first dino is named neo btw. he has a black cat named nyponsoppa n a horse named laurel. he got another pet bowl set up but then choked at the price of actually getting another one.

he nearly cried at the fair after losing a lot of tokens to that dumb wheel goddammit. he nearly stayed a few extra hours to see how many tokens he could get and to glare at the guy running the stall, if you can even call it that. he did win the grange display but he gambled and lost all those tokens.....

my plan for the future is to get krobus to move in,,,,, and for the two of them to have many dinos.

jj is another silly little guy farmer but hes an actual clown. i think he might be a failed comedian or smth. hes from a co op farm with @deathianartworks n @witchkittymeow. n boy is every person on that farm . incompetent. <3 theyre a trio of three short gays with some anger issues and zero braincells and names all starting with j. so much stupid shit goes on there, im concerned for the animals tbch.

he has stolen a lot of decorations from his fellow farmers. and he will continue. his collection of borrowed goods include: two decorative bowls, a window and a painting.

he doesnt trust the tv and its fortunes.... "spirits are very happy!! *infested floor in the mines n has to give up bc sword sucks so badddd* (next day) spirits are very happy..!! *infested floor in the mines n has to give up bc sword sucks so badddd* (later that day) digs up a geode from the museum trash can, goes straight up to clint n watches as the clock turns 4pm* he hasnt really been the same since that happened. 😔

and oh uh shit its 1am

pls feel free to send asks n whatnot abt them n my other farmers tho (PLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS (ilvoe my farmers sm))

[orpheuslament]

ik i talk about lestat a lot bc his pathetic blond man swag has bewitched me body & soul but louis de pointe du lac.... my beloved louis..... with eyes like a church window.... whod rather sit & read a book by the fireplace..... who is not only dealing with his immortality & morality but his sexuality & race..... who still decides to care about his family even though its futile...... who loved his brother more than anything in the world...... who refuses to turn away from humanity..... who is a gay black man before hes a vampire...... saint louis.........