#he does look so fantastic in your style its just got such a good solid weight to all your characters
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So. Got back from Thor: Love and Thunder a while ago. Have… opinions.
THE GOOD
Christian Bale is fantastic as Gorr. Completely steals the show. Dominates every scene he’s in, delivers a powerful performance that is, frankly, too good for the movie. It’s like he’s in a completely different film then everyone else. That is also a negative more on that later.
Most of the acting is good in general. Chris Hemsworth continues to do Thor well, Natalie Portman is wonderful, Tessa Thompson sells her feelings, Russel Crowe manages to get some of the few genuine laughs, everyone is doing their best with what they were given.
Action scenes are very good. There aren’t enough of them, honestly, but what action scenes there are are pretty awesome.
The core story arc the film is built around is a great premise. This whole idea of Thor going on a spiritual journey of self-discovery while stopping Gorr’s deicide is a strong idea for a movie. Execution… is lacking, again more on that later.
Visuals are great. Yeah, it’s Marvel Studio’s usual overuse of CGI, but they DO manage to get the visual style and aesthetic of the proper Marvel Comics universe down really well. Eternity especially looked absolutely amazing just as he should.
Jane Foster with Thor’s powers was handled infinitely better then in the comics, not that it’s Jason Aaron’s crap run is a high bar to clear. She has an actual character arc, is genuinely likable, and they even had the balls to let her die and stay dead in Valhalla. Kudos.
The resolution of the story with Gorr’s daughter and all that was good. Powerful stuff, or it would’ve been in a better movie. Again, the idea was solid. Thor as a dad is good growth.
Soundtrack is nice. Hair metal and Marvel Thor go together like bread and butter.
THE BAD
Pacing is breakneck and godawful. Nothing has any room to breath. Everything is rushed. Everything meaningful or good or fun is crammed into little spaces to make room for the jokes. Speaking of…
The humor just does not work. There is far too much of it, disrupting and undermining the larger narrative, and most of it just does not land at all. It’s “self-aware” quippy humor at its most obnoxious and terribly executed. Some good gags here and there but drowned out by crap. Even good gags are dragged out and beaten to death; the fucking goats were funny the first two or three times and never again after that.
Tone is all over the fucking place. Christian Bale feels so much like he’s in a different movie it’s laughable and destroys any drama. It’s like a character from Schindler’s List stumbled into Animal House. Every somber moment is interrupted with cringeworthy gags. The “80s adventure movie” vibe is inspired and perfect for Thor, but not this specific story arc; perhaps if they had done something like Beta Ray Bill it would’ve worked better.
While the visuals are good in how they LOOK aesthetically, it’s also still Marvel Studios CGI-everywhere barf. Very little has weight. You can tell everyone is just standing around in green screens, no idea they’re even supposed to be reacting to.
Despite the good premise, the story is a mess. Clumsily executed on so many levels. The deck is constantly being stacked in Gorr’s favor with no attempt at nuance or counter-argument… but the film chickens out at last minute and refuses to commit, which is somehow almost more insulting and offensive then if it HAD gone all in with its “religion bad” undertones. Either throw the punch or don’t raise your hand at all.
Missed opportunities to do more abound. Like many of Marvel Studios’ work, there is no real effort to faithfully adapt stuff from the comics. Most characters are wasted as plot devices, especially Eternity. Arbitrary changes hurt the story. And again, the lack of depth and nuance is palatable; I thought they would go for “Jane gets sick but finds strength in faith and hope, while Gorr’s loss of faith and hope poisons him physically and spiritually” which would’ve been beautiful. But nope, “Gorr is right”.
Dialogue was terrible. In addition to all the awkward attempts at self-aware jokes, even serious dialogue struggled to sound right.
It feels like they couldn’t decide an audience. The premise, themes, violence, and risqué parts make you think they’re going for adults but on the whole it is very much a kids movie, in a bad way. Constant STUFF happening like jingling keys to entertain a kid which is probably what they were going for. Scared to ever get dark while having a paradoxically grim plot.
The representation and LGBT+ stuff is embarrassingly shallow and desperate “look at us aren’t we so progressive!” stuff. It’s all either done as a joke or in a quick, easily-edited out manner.
All in all… very disappointing, especially from Taika Waititi. Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, and Moon Knight made me think the MCU still had value. Love and Thunder and Ms. Marvel have disabused me of that notion, and even made me look back on those three with a more critical eye.
Saw someone muse that this may mark Waititi’s transition from “beloved indie darling” to “just another Hollywood insider” and yeah. I think so.
#thor love and thunder#thor movies#thor 4#love and thunder#mighty thor#Thor love and thunder spoilers#love and thunder spoilers#tlat spoilers#marvel spoilers#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#marvel mcu#marvel comics#mcu criticism#taika waititi#movies#movie review#hollywood
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So I just watched the Batman and felt like doing something to celebrate so here is a non spoiler idea of what the film is like and just general thought (all subjective) so let’s go (go to end for brief thoughts)
SO,Robert Pattison delivered probably one of the most interesting and engaging performances as the Batman in all media. from the way he carry’s himself throughout the movie and how he grows as a fully layered character is genuinely amazing. is soft spoken voice and detective monologues give a great insight into Bruce and the Batman(although in this the line is really not that existent so no playboy Bruce if you like that then it ain’t here from you) but you can tell he more inexperienced and angry but is thankfully not an angsty mess and Pattinson executed this perfectly from his presentation to his character interactions.Pattinson has truly won me over to this interpretations the dark knight (9/10)
Zoe Kravitz does a great job as Selina Kyle/catwoman in the Batman having a great chemistry with out dark knight but has a interesting chat outside of him improving this performance which is exceptional Kravitz can go from sultry to rage filled then cold to breaking down and you believe this and overall is just great a great performance and the character is open for the future so who knows where this goes now but I’m excited (8/10)
Paul Dano as the riddler HOLY CRAP THIS GUY IS SCARY.yeah dano knocked the riddler out of the park with his zodiac killer like style but love of riddles and sick games never gone.one of the best parts of his performance is I can’t tell what’s more terrifying him with the mask on or off he’s a genuinely horror inducing psychopath and it’s a great reimagining of the riddler (remember when people said this movie would suck with a PG-13 rating well riddler showed up and turned the movie into freaking zodiac killer and it’s horrifying) so yeah riddler is great (9/10)
So these fine fellas all got a good amount of similar screen time (I’m lazy so I grouped them together) Jeffery Wright as Jim Gordon is amazing in every scene and his partnership with Batman is really well done and you feel that in the movie so great overall he didn’t do too much but still has an absolute impact (8/10).Colin Farrell as the penguin is a feat of makeup artists on its own but his personality and interactions in the movie give this bird life and he’s a joy on screen (8/10).John turturro as Carmine falcone is freaking fantastic (absolutely redeems the scrotum joke from revenge of the fallen) falcone feels like a treat and Carries that level of respect and intimidation also scared the shit out of me so awesome job John (8/10)
Andy serkis gives us a really solid Alfred in the movie giving off heavy earth 1 vibes with good old fashioned British butler brilliance and just being a great emotional core for Bruce so for the short time he is on screen he gives a great impact and just some funny and tense scenes despite the little we see of him (7/10)
Well right off the bat yes I’m giving the batmobile as spat because LOOK AT THIS MASTERPIECE ITS GORGEOUS (this is all subjective if you don’t like it that’s your opinion and I respect that)the Chase scene you’ve seen in the trailers is so damn good I honestly love this batmobile it’s look,sound and just feels so powerful just mwah (10/10)
All in all the Batman is a beautiful paced 3 hour noir style mystery with heavy horror themes and moments so if anything like that don’t suit you I wouldn’t watch but if you don’t mind long but we’ll paces movies then the Batman is a great pick to watch for you the style and tone of the movie feels so in touch with Batman’s world , all of the cast are phenomenal with no phone ins and the plot is a well constructed reimagining of the Batman’s world and the action is amazing if not constant but be warned this is a movie that takes it self seriously so not your typical mcu like fair and lacks a lot of jokes but is never boring despite this and if all of that is ok for you then you’ll enjoy The Batman .
#the batman#bruce wayne#catwomen#alfred pennyworth#jim gordon#the penguin#the riddler#the batman movie#non spoilers#subjective not fact
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So. Being a fanfic writer can be interesting sometimes. Today I got an interesting ‘review’ (and I use the word review with humor). Apparently this particular fic of mine, so offended someone’s sensibilities they had to tell me all about it. I’m not kidding. This person is also a fanfic writer and over a decade ago I read a Dawn-centered Buffy/Power Rangers fic of theirs that I adored.
Gonna have to rethink that opinion and I’ll probably never re-read it. Still, their ‘review’ had me laughing. Omigod ya’ll, I’m not even joking. This person wants me to rewrite my fic, to suit their tastes and sensibilities. They got their feelings hurt over a fic. Its like they’ve forgotten what fanfiction is all about. Fic writers write fics to their own specifications, unless its a gift fic.
I know its hard to read in the screen shot so here’s the text:
I’m not sure how to react to this one, so I’m going to try and break this down.
I do like “Real Family” stories. It’s a touch cliche these days, but it gives a solid reason for the characters to interact and has some real dramatic potential. Your use of it with Diagnosis Murder of all things is brilliant. So points there.
But the motivation for getting Xander out of Sunnydale is… unpleasant, ugly and out of character. Now Xander’s parents getting murdered is one thing, but Spike assaulting Xander like that is… just wrong. Spike’s entire motivation at this point in the series is Drusilla, his only goal is to return her to full strength. Buffy, as the Slayer, is an obstacle to that. We’re she not he would not be interested in fighting her (at this point). Despite having control over the Vampires of Sunnydale he’s trying to keep a low profile (something he fails at, multiple times over the show).
Attacking Xander, especially in this way, is utterly pointless and against his goals. As he says later “…Leaving gag gifts in her friends beds is just going to result in one incredibly brassed off Slayer!” He wants Buffy out of the picture, Xander (and to an extent Willow) aren’t even on his radar. He doesn’t care about them. He does know, however, Buffy does and ticking her off will only cause massive problems later.
Next up is the method of his assault. Now I’m not going to get into semantics with you, but whatever else he is Spike is not homosexual. He’s not bi-sexual. He has no interest in boys (that way). While an attempted rape is horrible in its own right (regardless of genders involved) this is both out of character and utterly repulsive. We’re it possible I would heavily suggest not including this, instead look to another option.
Spike capturing Xander and giving him to Dru, only for her to torture Xander instead until he escapes. For example. You could hit many of the same beats with this, without going out of character and making this significant miss-step.
Next up Xander leaves Sunnydale. Great, fantastic, good move and I hope to see how it turns out… remembering that Demon troubles always seem to find Xander at the worst possible time. It’s going to be interesting to find when that’s going to be!
What I have a concern about is the shopping trip. I understand the principle behind it, but it feels like the Sloane’s (and by extension you as the writer) are trying to make Xander into something else. A feeling made all the more acute with the firm slamming of the door between Xander and the rest of the Scoobies. Another decision that may harm the story in the long run.
So this is certainly an odd story to review. You’re writing style is strong and I have found it a good read, but these problems are jarring me out. As a result I was driven to write this review.
Put simply; I should be enjoying this idea, but instead I keep finding a creepy undertone I can’t shake.
This person literally wants me to change the fic, because they think I wrote it wrong, according to them. Its not written to their tastes, so its wrong. XD I’m rolling. Best laugh I’ve had all day. I’ll probably respond in a couple of days.
Bwhahaha!
The fic in question is New Song, Same Tune. Its a Xander-centered fic that crosses over with Diagnosis Murder. Its not for everyone, obviously, but I enjoyed writing it. Its just the way I want it. Its been finished for months, and nothing is gonna make me rewrite it because someone else thinks its WRONG.
My god. I’m laughing. Pfft.
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Love Cuts Deep
Chapter 8- Bastards From Space
Summary: These past couple years in Wakanda with Bucky have been the best. Who would have thought some aliens would be the thing to ruin it all.
Warning: violence, angst, reader being a bad bitch, things get intense
Masterlist
Today had started as normal as ever, you woke up with Bucky’s arm slung over your face, his body practically covering you like a human blanket. Then you two got out of bed, did your usual morning routines, and started your day with helping the Wakandians with whatever tough job needed done for the next however many hours.
Which as of now happens to be chopping wood; you sit comfortably on a spared thick log while Bucky smashes the Vibranium axe into another chunk of wood while you watch him with a mischievous smirk playing at your lips. “You’re doing a fantastic job with that by the way.”
Bucky sets another one down as a smile pulls at his handsome face, “Oh yeah?”
“Yes, your form is just...amazing.” You applaud, making a chefs kiss motion with your fingers as he chuckles before splitting another hunk in two.
“You know..” Starts Bucky as he sets the axe against his shoulder while you rest your knuckles against your chin, “this would go a lot faster if you helped me.”
“Then I wouldn’t be able to watch you doing your thing....and by the way you look real fine, did I mention that already?” You add with a click of your tongue while he throws you a humored glare of affection.
“I could use your help.”
You point to the wagon seated next to you, “I did, I threw all these bags and split wood in here so now I’m taking my earned break that I obviously get because I finished my job. You on the other hand don’t deserve an earned break.”
Bucky huffs, deciding to ignore your little bout of sass that so unmistakably is targeted to rile him up, so instead does he mumble out something incomprehensible just for himself to hear, “Yeah, and if we were in that hut I’d show you an earned break.”
Snickering, you cross your arms while studying Bucky’s concentrated face; his dark mane is all wet and unwashed, clothes a bit dirty and unkept with some sweat stains marking them from when you two sparred each other that morning. But God if you don’t think he’s the most beautiful creature to have ever walked this earth in your lifetime. How did you ever get so lucky?
He’s been a true beacon of hope and refuge since Romania, and you’re for certain that if not for one another’s found love. You’d both be much lonelier people.
“What’r you thinking about?” Mutters Bucky while you return from your drifting thoughts. Though soon you’re alerted to the sounds of walking in the grass that draws your attention to the hillside. “Why the fuck is T’Challa here?” You move to stand and a moment later King T’Challa and a couple of the Dora Milaje are walking down the grassy hill with something in their arms to greet the two of you. The king of Wakanda appears a tad bit distressed, face unusually more serious then what marks his features most days. You immediately know something is wrong.
Bucky shares a wary glance with you as the king greets you two with a nod, “Mr. Barnes, Miss. Valerious.” One of his guardsmen unclasps the long black case only to reveal a Wakandian styled metal arm.
Bucky purses his lips as he looks down at the new appendage, “Where’s the fight.”
King T’Challa gives the two of you a hard expression, “On it’s way.”
——
After learning about some angry aliens on their way to take the mind stone from Vision, and that a good portion of the rouge Avengers are on their way to Wakanda. You and Bucky knew deep down something wild must be stirring in the universe for something as big as this to happen, something very bad indeed.
You just have no idea what.
Clasping your black armored top together, you move to put on the Wakandian black leathered Vibranium gauntlets that were gifted to you for this special occasion, not that it’s really that special, but you do look cool. The new armor feels solid and stable against your forearm as you focus on tightening the clasps when suddenly you can feel Bucky’s eyes on you.
“I know you’re looking at me.” You muse, side eyeing him.
He smiles, eyes never leaving you as you lock in the armor to your forearm. He studies the brilliant dark attire that’s laced with a vibrant golden hue, “You look like a warrior.” Admits Bucky almost in awe of how you’re currently looking.
You nod, “I’d feel a little out of place next to the Dora Milaje....but uh, this suit is nice.” You add with a shrug, “Comfortable and practical, they really know how to size right.”
“Yeah....” Mumbles Bucky with a breathy laugh while you focus on the task at hand, oblivious as to where his gaze wanders all over your vessel and the parts your new attire ever-so-slightly accentuates. He just thinks you’re so beautiful no matter how you look, and right now, in Bucky’s head you’re one fine specimen.
“How’s the new arm?”
Bucky’s wandering eyes soon shift down to the new dark plated Vibranium and golden laced metalwork, “Feels light. Like it’s apart of me you know? I still can’t believe how amazing their tech is.”
“I know right..” You pause for a moment, glancing warily over to the clock, “Well, guess we better get moving. Okoye said they’ll be here soon.” Bucky nods before zipping his jacket up the rest of the way and walking over to your side. He stops to buckle down the left side of your Wakandian styled black vest while you happily let him. Enjoying how close he is to you and the adorable way he sticks his tongue out when fully focused on a task.
Once done, Bucky takes a look at his handiwork, reaching to clasp your one hand with his. He smiles though a sadness hides behind those beautiful blues, “To battle?” Whispers Bucky.
Reaching a hand up to place a soft touch against his stubbled cheek, you smile fearlessly, “To battle.”
Soon the two of you are outside of T’Challa’s palace, standing off to the side as the king and his warriors greet the approaching Quinjet as it lands on the stone landing pad. A minute later, you catch the sight of a bearded Steve, a blonde haired Natasha, Sam, Bruce Banner, and lastly Wanda and Vision as they walk out side by side.
Vision looks hurt, and Wanda has a scar above her brow. Wonder what brute did that?
T’Challa welcomes the team before he nods and turns for them to follow, Vision and Wanda walk past you two as you finally see them clearer through the parting crowd, “How we looking?” Asks Natasha as she follows behind the king, Steve to her immediate right, the others following close behind them.
“You will have my Kingsguard, the Border Tribe, the Dora Milaje, and...”
“And a semi-stable 100-year-old man.” Quips Bucky as all of you finally come face to face with one another, Steve immediately smiles as you walk next to Bucky. “Plus whatever the hell I am.” You jest as the two of them go in for a hug.
Natasha gives you a smirk as they part, “How you guys been?” Asks Steve, blue eyes flickering between you two.
Bucky looks over at you and shrugs, “Uh, not bad...”
“....for the end of the world.” You deadpan, causing Bucky to chuckle as well as Steve and Natasha.
“Well, it’s nice seeing you guys again...” Adds Steve as Natasha takes a step forward towards you. “We gotta stop meeting each other like this.” Quips the ex-assassin.
You snort at the little inside joke between the two of you, raising a brow at them, “You know, you guys don’t have to visit just because some aliens are threatening our entire existence. Couldn’t we have saved a reunion for a wedding or something?”
Steve sighs, “Yeah, that would have been preferred.”
“Too bad none of you invited us.” Smirks Natasha as she looks between you and Bucky with a raised brow of her own, his stubbled face growing a small shade of pink while you awkwardly cough, eyes darting elsewhere.
“Yeah, we’re getting there, Nat.” You mutter while rubbing the back of your neck, the thought of marrying Bucky has never actually crossed your mind. You love him, its just, you two married? Actually married? Would he even want that? You have no idea, maybe talking about it before the alien situation would have been helpful in the long run. Too late for that now, guess another time then.
“Alright, come with me upstairs my friends, my sister will see what can be done for your friend.” Adds T’Challa as he takes a step back, Steve, Natasha, and Bruce all following suit and through the doors they go inside to assess the Vision situation upstairs. Leaving Sam and Rodney.
You watch as Natasha’s body disappears behind the dark glass before turning around to meet a smiling Sam as he wanders closer to you and Bucky. Undoubtedly about to give you two a proper Sam-like greeting, “Nice to see you two weirdos again.” Chuckles Sam as he takes in how much or little you and Bucky have changed since a couple years ago.
“Can’t say the same.” Muses Bucky as you snicker at Sam’s half-offended reaction.
“I guess.....maybe....possibly.....it’s nice to see your annoying face, again.” You add, voice dripping with sarcasm as he nods, “Better then you coming to try and arrest us.”
“Alright, I’ll take it.” He smiles, “At least someone cares about me after all this time.” Side eyeing Bucky as he holds back a laugh.
“Never said that.” You mutter while shaking your head at him, “Definitely did not miss you at all.”
“You were thinking it.” Points Sam, “So was Bucky.”
“I wasn’t.”
About ten minutes later, after fully catching one another up on the happenings missed by the distance and time apart, the hair on the back of your neck pricks with the sound of something large and unfamiliar breaking into the atmosphere above. Soon a smoking metal ship crashes into the forcefield high above your heads, an explosion of fire and debris blasts in its wake as the destroyed object slides off the sides.
“God, I love this place.” Mutters Bucky as the three of you look to the sky.
“Yeah, don’t start celebrating yet, guys. We got more incoming outside the dome.” Announces Rodney on the ear coms as your face falls when more blasts crash against the protective outer barrier of Wakanda.
“Fuck......I’ve never met an alien before.” You mumble as they look to you now, your eyes wide and fearful as you stare up at the sky, “And I don’t think I want to.”
Soon more glaring fiery balls come racing past high up in the clouds headed straight for the Wakandian forcefield, violently crashing against it though nothing pierces through much to your great relief. Not even a minute later T’Challa and the rest of the team are on ground level with the rest of you. Urging everyone into the advanced Wakandian vehicles, you file in close to Bucky and Natasha as the driver begins making haste for the huge fields beyond.
Wind flies wildly past your face as you observe the growing smoke rising up from the broken and burning forest from where the aliens have landed, where they’re preparing for battle far behind the protective forcefield.
The hover vehicle reaches its destination on the knee high grass, immediately everyone files out; your boots fall into the soft ground as you find yourself on the field positioned in between Steve and Bucky while the rest of the Wakandian army keeps strong from your left, right and rear.
It’s a small comfort having everyone so near but it still feels like a false protection; Bruce is held in the Hulkbuster suit standing high and strong above the rest, while Rodney and Sam keep to the skies as they circle around in anticipation for what’s to go down.
You wish you felt better about this, but you’d be a lying fool if you claimed to feel dangerous and fearless, you’re not fighting against mortal men this time. These are beasts from a whole other world with no intention of sparing a life, they don’t care for human problems, they’re here for one single goal and that’s to take the mind stone.
Heart beating nervously in your chest, you turn a worried glance over to Bucky who’s holding a large machine gun in his left arm, he sends you a reassuring nod as T’Challa walks over to speak with Steve.
“There’s two by the perimeter, what our next move?”
“We’ve met the female one before, I guess we’ll go see if they can be reasoned with, though I’m afraid of their answer.” Begrudgingly replies Steve, eyes set ahead at two figures approaching the forcefield. One a tall broad scaled being and the other a half pale faced woman with two dark horns rising upward from her temples.
Steve, Natasha, and king T’Challa collectively decide to walk the distance to face them while everyone else remains in suspense. They speak for about a minute before walking back to the rest of you as the giant alien machinery shifts and rises with strange movement.
“They surrender?” Mutters Bucky as Steve takes his place by your side.
“Not exactly.” Well that sounds fucking promising.
Your body begins shaking with adrenaline as loud thunderous rumbling emits from the forest, a second later, large dog-like creatures race madly out of the tree line headed at a dead sprint for the forcefield.
“What the fuck.” You mutter, brows furrowed in confused bewilderment as the foreign creatures slam violently against the forcefield with little regard for what its doing to them.
Natasha hums, “Looks like we pissed her off.”
You nod as some of the beasts force their way through the guarded perimeter, they scream in fury and pain while their bodies and limbs get phased by the power of the giant shield protecting Wakanda.
“They’re killing themselves.” You can hear Okoye mutter in fearful bewilderment as the screaming creatures push through their violent assault, soon about a dozen break through, racing furiously over the shallow river and across the large battlefield to where everyone is standing.
King T’Challa shouts the battle cry as his army calls their technologically advanced shields to arms in an instant. The alien creatures thunder across the grass, getting closer and closer as the army around you begin shooting them down as fast as they can.
Bullets fly past your head as Bucky begins aiming for the beasts, shooting them down with great accuracy as you breath heavily from your growing adrenaline. Sam and Rodney shoot from the sky; you watch more fall but a plethora of others begins running off to the sides as they attempt at searching for an alternative way around the forcefield.
T’Challa realizing this, calls for the opening of North-West Section Seventeen, which is the one right in front of you all. Well this is it then, you think nervously. Dreading how the events of today may play out within the next hour, or ten minutes for all you know.
“This will be the end of Wakanda.” Mutters M’Baku as the section is lifted.
Okoye nods, face stoic and fierce, “Then it will be the most noble ending in history.”
T’Challa steps to the front lines before valiantly shouting, “Wakanda forever!” And with that does the warriors cry with courage and might as everyone including you begins a dead sprint across the grassy field, pumping your arms hard, you feel a thrill of strange excitement pulsing throughout your entire vessel as your boots thunder against the ground in tune with the beasts that charge onward.
Steve races inhumanly fast, you right on his tail as T’Challa makes ground to your immediate right. The rest of your fellow warriors keeping up as best they can. You don’t remember ever unsheathing your claws, or when they sliced violently into the thick skin of the first alien you met.
But soon your hands are covered in the warm inky blood of the creatures you’ve killed as you don’t have time to think, only kill and survive is all your mind is on. You’re practically on autopilot as the beasts thrash and slash at everyone in sight.
Suddenly one of them traps you between it’s bear paws and the rough ground, sharp daggered teeth chomping at your face as you drive your fist straight through it’s jugular and back out again, instantly a spurt of sticky dark purple blood sprays onto the side of your face as you turn away from the gory scene.
Shoving it off of you, another one punts you into the rocky earth, in retaliation you throw a clawed fist right across its shoulder. Making sure to sink it in deep when you reach its stomach. Screams of pain are all you hear as it dies, going still as stone while you jump right back into the action.
Without warning, about three pin you to the ground while you grunt and groan from the weight and their knife sized claws digging into your armored sides, damn you’ve really had better days. Shoving your Adamantium talons right through it’s exposed chest, it immediately goes limp as it’s two friends strain to reach you while it’s annoyingly bulky vessel pins you to the rough ground.
Your lungs struggle to take in a decent breath when suddenly a crack of lighting sounds throughout the battlefield, a second later the large alien bodies are thrown off of you from the force of bright white electricity, killing them instantly.
Sucking in a deep breath of relief and general oxygen, you jump to your feet only to take notice of a blonde man in some type of royal armor with an axe in one hand and sparks of lighting in the other. Oddly enough, a raccoon and a walking humanoid tree to either side as he scans the horizon before turning around and belting out, “Bring! Me! Thanos!” Before taking flight as more electricity sparks and shoots all around him.
Yeah, alright that’s normal. At least they’re on your side.
He lands and a giant plethora of white hot lighting emits all around him, killing many of the alien creatures where they stand. Though there’s no time to celebrate this small victory when giant circular machines of war burst forth from the ground, many going in different directions, but these couple begin heading straight in yours.
Eyes widening in fear, you book it in the opposite direction as T’Challa yells for his men to fall back for the tree line, your heart races a mile a minute as you force yourself to keep running through the exhaustion and slight pain in your left thigh from a heeling bite mark.
But just as the razored metal closes in behind you, a bright whispy red halts it in its place. Turning towards the source, you’re almost comforted to find Wanda at the hands of the machinery’s demise. She yells, throwing her hands back as the metal clashes across the battlefield, killing the beasts as they go.
And she was up there this whole time?
Turning to face more foes, you look over to notice as the female alien stalks across the ruined battlefield towards Wanda at an alarmingly hefty pace, dark rusted yellow eyes set and predatory as she reaches her oblivious prey. Smacking her armored fist across Wanda’s head, the Sokovian tumbles into a ditch, horned lady alien trailing after her.
Shit, you should do something.
Taking out another beast, you book it over to help Wanda, jumping into the wide trench behind the woman, you catch the end of her heated threat to Wanda, “He’ll die alone. As will you.” Venom tripping off of her every word, God why are they so angry?
“She’s not alone.” You growl, face painted with inky purple blood, claws shimmering in the sunlight as she whips around to face you. Her eyes trail over your body as she scowls in deep irritation, before handing her an unfriendly smirk, “Come on you ugly fuck.” You growl.
She lunges at you, weapon drawn as you dodge her deadly blow by the sharp thin blade. She quickly whips around and is kindly greeted by your claws that rips the dull white flesh of her lower face. Blood seeps out as she screams, face flaring a fierce anger as she powers through and thrusts her blade into your left shoulder. Fucking bitch!
You’re immediately greeted with a sharp stinging pain that rips violently into your body from the assault. A boot rudely kicks you backwards onto the hard earth as Okoye smacks her dagger across the woman’s back, distracting her from trying to end your life. Like that would work.
Blood pools hot and angry out of your opened flesh while Okoye and Natasha handle the horned bitch from behind you and Wanda. Your hands push you off the gravely earth as Wanda shares a fearful glance with you, giving her a pursed lip grin. You jump to your feet and assess the escalating situation before you; Okoye is breathing heavily on the ground as Natasha holds back the woman with her shocking stick while pinned on her back, straining to keep the opposing blade away from her throat.
“Hey!” You shout, causing the woman to lift her gaze from Natasha to you, she doesn’t even have a second to react as your clawed fist slashes a deadly blow across her face. She immediately stumbles back in shock as blood spirts wildly out of her deep cuts, her eyes going wide as saucers when you land a powerful kick into her lower torso, sending her body flying upwards only to be mauled by one of the circular razors rolling past.
Blue blood marking your already dirty face, you turn to look down at Natasha as she glances between the three of you, face dotted in blue blood just the same, “That was really gross.” Grimaces the blonde as you give the others a once over before jumping back out into the action.
Minutes fly by as you fight your way to the tree line closest to the Wakandian palace, suddenly Steve’s voice is heard in the coms, “Everyone, on my position. We have incoming.” And with that do you follow Bucky and T’Challa as they race into the woods where Steve, Natasha, Sam, Bruce, and Wanda is protectively holding Vision as they keep seated on the grassy earth.
Collecting your breath, you walk over to Bucky as everyone feels a soft hunting breeze blowing the trees around, “Something’s not right.” You mutter worriedly as he shares a nervous look with you.
“I know. Just stay close to me.”
You nod before giving him a weak reassuring smile, a moment later a strange anomaly of purple, blue, and dark grey clouds present themselves a small distance in front of you all. A tall figure of great stature and physical strength walks out from the odd whispy mass, he’s larger then anyone you’ve ever seen before, skin colored purple and golden laced armor of another world.
“Cap. That’s him.” Announces Bruce as you heart begins racing once more, oh shit oh shit oh shit. Fuck he’s really big.
Steve raises his two arm shields, “Eyes up. Stay sharp.” As he starts walking in the direction of you’re assuming is this Thanos everyone has been talking about.
Hulkbuster thunders past, but as Bruce reaches Thanos, his body turns a transparent blue and falls right through the purple alien before lodging himself in the rock of the ascending cliffside.
Steve’s next as he throws himself at Thanos, the titan uses his golden gauntlet when a sudden purply wisp of energy throws Steve into the trees. T’Challa lunges, but is swiftly stopped when Thanos’ giant hand wraps around his throat. He’s then thrown him down like a ragged doll; Sam is next, wings fold in on themselves and soon he’s down too.
Rodney right after as Thanos uses the gauntlet to crush him from within his suit, he’s promptly thrown to the side like a rock. Bullets fly violently through the air as Bucky fires shot after shot at the purple titan to no avail, he’s thrown across the ground like nothing.
Terrified yet too much full of rage to think, you race for the bastard titan as he pushes Okoye to the side, Natasha left disabled when tree roots throw themselves around her. He quickly takes notice as you jump on the roots, heading straight for him with an animistic rage flashing through your eyes.
His fist rises as he calls more roots to action, you skillful dodge their grip as you make a desperate jump for the titan below you now. He’s fast, but not fast enough to evade your clawed fist, the middle razor slashes a clean line right across his left eye as you tumble to the ground behind him, finding your footing in an instant.
Yourself now between him and the mind stone that’s currently getting destroyed by a tearful Wanda from behind you, though you’re not paying enough attention to fully realize what’s going down, you breath heavily while eyeing up the bulky man.
The pissed off titan whips around to meet your courageous glare, left eye missing, dripping with warm purple blood that trails like an ugly waterfall down his scared cheeks until it spatters to the forest floor. Face now visibly angered and very much in pain as he stares you down.
He takes a threatening step forward as you take a cautious one back, eyeing you up, he nods, “A clean hit, I’m afraid this one won’t heal for me unfortunately...nonetheless, I am impressed by your valor small one, but your bravery will be in vain.” Speaks the titan as you stare up at him with shaky breaths.
oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
A second later the power of his golden gauntlet sends you flying into the trunk of a thick tree, knocking you out on impact.
When you awaken with a jolt, your nose is wet with drying crimson that trails across your lips and chin. Nothing hurts anymore but your body feels incredibly weird, taking in a deep breath, you stand on shaky legs. Eyes scanning the area only to find a confused Thor who’s looking rather dreadful and lost.
Steve quickly runs up to him, eyes searching around for Thanos who’s nowhere to be seen, “Where’d he go?” Wonders Steve as you slowly walk over to them, “Thor....Where’d he go?” Asks Steve more urgently this time, blue eyes looking around to no avail. Thanos is gone. Just like that.
But how?
You quickly catch movement to your left, but it’s just Bucky walking over to the three of you. Heart filled with relief, you start walking over to him as he locks eyes with you, a confused expression crossing over his features as he looks over at his left arm.
You follow his puzzled gaze and watch as his arm begins to disintegrate like ash on a windy day. Bucky finds your concerned face; panic, confusion, and fear flashing through his stormy irises as he takes another desperate step to reach you, “Y/N?” Is all you hear as the rest of his body begins turning to dust right before your very eyes.
His gun falls to the ground with a thud as the rest of his body disintegrates to nothing more then ash and dust upon the grass. You freeze, it feels like your heart as just been frozen in ice and smashed with a steel sledgehammer without remorse.
You swallow, walking on trembling legs to where his ashes remain, you slowly kneel. Hand touching the area as delicately as you would hold a newborn, this isn’t real this is just a shitty dream and you’ll wake up any second with him right by your side.
It’s just a dream. But you know, it’s not.
Steve wanders to your side before kneeling down and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. Biting your bottom lip to hold the lump back that’s building in the back of your throat, you turn your head to meet him, your eyes glossed over with unshed tears.
He lowers his head in defeat as you stare bitterly back down at the ground where Bucky once was, lip quivering uncontrollably as you fight back a waterfall of hidden tears. The pain in your heart almost too much to bear. “Sam! Where are you?!” Shouts Rodney, a voice to bring you back to the world.
No, not the others too. How many did he take?
Blinking hard, a couple stray tears patter onto the brown ashes as you rise, Steve doing the same, you watch as he walks over to Vision who’s void of all color and taken of all life, a small crater marking the demise of his life force, the mind stone.
He kneels down to meet the body as Natasha runs into view, she quickly halts once her gaze falls onto Visions corpse, mouth agape in shock. Bruce, Rodney, that little raccoon, and Thor coming to from behind them as you amble closer to the distraught six, though your legs feel like they could give out at any moment.
“What is this?” Wonders Rodney as he looks from Steve to you and then over to Thor, “What the hell is happening?”
Tears stream silently down the sides of your cheeks now, they make a clean line from all the other dirt and blood that marks your skin. Breathing heavily, Natasha looks over to you, “Y/N?” She asks, voice wavering as her eyes trail over your mournfully stoic face.
He can’t be gone, not Bucky, not him.
-
Tagged: @diegos-butt @minigranger @bibliophilewednesday @holyhumorliteraturelight @lilacs-lavender @a-girl-who-loves-disney @starkssnarks @vikingqueen28 @bizarrebibitch @atomicpersonacheesecake @jmstz @staygoldsquatchling02 @marvelbros-oneshots @shawnartmendes @mischiefmanaged71 @jckie94 @iamasimpingh0e
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#the winter soldier#the winter soldier x y/n#the winter soldier x reader#the winter soldier x you#marvel x y/n#marvel x reader#marvel x you#marvel#marvel imagine#fanfic#fanfiction#tfatws#tfatws x reader
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just curious, what’s your favorite and least favorite character design? my least fav for sure has got to be female byleth for reasons i don’t want to get in to yep ok have a good day 😁
IOops this accidentally became a rant, sorry
Okay so, to preface this all, I’m not a character designer and I’m actually pretty bad at it, but my rule of thumb with really unappealing or fan-service outfits is whether or not it makes sense character-wise and how much it tells the player about the character. For example, I think we can all agree that there’s quite a bit of fan-service elements in Hilda’s design. Boob window. However, it’s not unrealistic to imagine Hilda picking out those clothes for herself. Her costume tells you almost everything you need to know about her character on a visual level. She’s confident, pretty, attention-grabbing, and high maintenance while the gloves and laced girdle give a nod to her Viking-maiden roots.
Taking it to female Byleth, I don’t think that her outfit works on either front. Her design is definitely my least favorite and it’s not helped by the fact that you have to look at her at all times. Whatever. The huge, solid mass of boobs, the buttoned bib, the big eyes, the feather hair, the bellybutton, the ripped tights, the booty shorts. She’s a merc out in life and death situations with an accessible, pale, tacky 2000′s “stab me” stomach cut out and a wedgie. Which could be excusable if, like Hilda, there was reason to believe that that her costume was character choice. But she doesn’t really have much character, and what there is gives the impression of a very stoic, dry, blunt person. I have no idea why they’d have gone that route when the sexual appeal of more “utilitarian” costuming (aka, form fitting armor that at least pretends to be functional) for characters like her is scientifically proven AND would say more about the singular personality trait she possesses. Okay, well, I know why they didn’t do that and I think it’s lame. This dysfunction of “character designer wanted a sexy girl but it’s kinda random and just shoved in the game without any thought” actually reminds me a lot of Xenoblade 2′s leading ladies, Hikari and Pyra. Although considering that their bad designs led to a lot of people hating the game for superficial reasons while accepting female Byleth’s design, I guess I’m just bitter. Jumping to a different comparison, then, look at 2B from Nier Automata. Her design is fine as hell which is kinda hypocritical of me considering that it's explicitly fan-service, but I think it also shows the most damning thing for female Byleth. Her whole look, despite having a dozen different element thrown in, is boring. Maybe it’s the colors (dressing her in all black and white would have been really interesting considering the colors of the three lords are so heavily emphasized as a part of their characters) or maybe it’s just the way the desperate elements come together. But, like I said, I'm not even slightly knowledgeable about character design and I know that despite Three Houses being mostly separate, they had to appeal to a larger aesthetic brand to which I have little experience with. And, ultimately, a lot of people find her cute or sexy which...To each their own, I suppose. I don’t pretend that fan-service doesn’t work on me (2B... Cloud’s arms in the remake... Seph's shirtless Smash skin...) but when it’s this obviously inserted in by the character designers rather than feeling organic in any way AND looks bad I'm just not super interested.
The other worst designs for me would be all four of the Ashen Wolves post timeskip. I don't think it's controversial to say that they didn't try with the clothes, even if I love their designs from the neck up (Yes, even Balthus. He looks like the type of guy that would let you sit on his shoulders at a rock concert so you could see the stage). While there are other designs I think are unappealing, those are for purely aesthetic reasons and so I can't maintain the opinion that they're actively bad or that I even truly dislike them.
As for favorite looks... I actually have a few so sorry you're getting all of them because despite the shit I'm talking, I actually really really love the character designs in Three Houses.
Ferdinand's post timeskip is one of my favorite designs, if not my favorite. The hair, the coat, the armor, the spurs, the colors. You know exactly who Ferdinand von Aegir is just by looking at him. He’s wealthy, handsome, confident in his appearance, a hero, a princely type character, his battle form is mounted combat which is traditionally aesthetically reserved for nobility and leaders... I love it. The only reason I cannot say he IS my favorite is because of the three Lords. But before them, my honorable mentions include post timeskip Hilda, Dorothea, Lorenz, Felix, and Hubert. Granted, I could make a case for why I like almost all of the student’s post timeskip looks.
For the Lords, I obviously have to start with colors because, weirdly enough, Persona didn’t invent primary colors but are actually used as shorthand. Blue is the color of honor, loyalty, sincerity, sadness, and depression. Something I’ve always found very interesting is that blue is very rarely found in nature. To me, that’s always made it seem more lonely which, at least in this case, is thematically relevant. People call Dimitri boring pre timeskip and while I won’t defend his hairstyle (okay, actually, I probably would because he tucks it behind his ears and idk why but that’s one of the cutest things ever) I really like how unassuming he is. Bland. He’s supposed to be the plain shortbread cookie to caramel deLite Claude and strawberry meringue Edelgard. It is not in his character to draw attention to himself or stand out. To me, he kinda looks like an old Barbie prince, like he should have been named Dominic. Also I love the blue eyes/blonde hair thing and his more angular features. It really helps to sell him as the fakeout chivalrous prince type. Post timeskip, Dimitri's black armor is amazing. I love the fact that it’s a lot more intricate up-close with the different little shell-like pieces and the fact that his boots are furry. I love the big cape and the black and white fur around his shoulders. It’s really cool how they used his costume to change the shape of his in-game model to match the bodily proportions of the character art. It’s easier to see when you change his costume into the DLC ones, but the fur and cape build up his shoulders and chest look more broad while keeping that tiny little waist. The choice to give Dimitri an eyepatch is probably my favorite thing about this design. It’s genuinely inspired. Such a simple detail yet it tells the player everything they need to know about adult Dimitri when they see him post timeskip, in one frame the player can begin to understand the extent of his loss over the past five years. The subtle shadow under his eye in the first few Azure Moon chapters and the messy long-ish hair really help to sell the feral prince aesthetic as well, as it’s from those small cues the player gets that he’s exhausted (in more ways than one) and doesn’t maintain himself. None of these things are intentional choices by Dimtiri, they’re the result of what his character has been through.
Yellow is an intense, energetic color. Mostly, people think of it as being warm and inviting, the color of the sun and positivity. That intensity can be overwhelming, though, too visually demanding when compared to its primary counterparts. Don’t stare at the sun too long. Buuuut, it’s okay to stare at Claude. Claude not wanting to wear tight pants in either of his costumes is not only a mood, it is iconic. Pre timeskip, the softer lines of his silhouette makes him look kinda slouchy, kinda lazy. Like he’s not too concerned with appearances. But those adorably messy curls, the little braid, the clearly tended eyebrows, and earring make it clear that he DOES care about appearances and is very aware of his allure. And that’s before he even starts winking. It is honestly so in character that as many people picked him first on the basis of being thirsty, that feels like an intentionally Claude thing even if it was inserted by the designers. The contrast of his complexion with his seagreen eyes is gorgeous and instantly adds a kind of mystery and intrigue to him considering the setting... but it’s sf funny that nobody looked at bronze god Claude among a sea of white faces and thought something was up. Post timeskip, they used the same trick like they did with Dimitri to change Claude’s in-game model to match his canon appearance. The way they designed his uniform makes him not look as twink-ish, like he’s actually muscular and imposing and has the strength he’d need to shoot a war bow with a 120lbs draw weight. Also like Dimitri, you can instantly tell what Claude’s been up to. Like, he was very pretty pre timeskip but when he shows up in the Goddess Tower after those five years in all that gold, he demands your attention. Like a gentleman general with the excessive aesthetic ideals of the Alliance and details to imply his heritage. The quilted pants are amazing from both an aesthetic and practical standpoint. He’s a mounted unit riding a creature with scales, of course he’d want something on his legs for protection. And the chinstrap. I love that so much, it definitely makes him look more adult. He’s got such a cute soft baby face, it’s fun imagining him experimenting with different styles during the five years to get the most desired physical reaction to him as a leader.
Frenchfries, meet forehead. No, actually, Edelgard’s design is really fantastic. Claude and Dimitri both have realistically colored eyes and hair and then there’s Edelgard. Dimitri shrugs off attention physically and Claude shirks it with a wink but Edelgard commands the players attention from the very start. Although I’m sure there’s a lot of things to associate with white hair and purple eyes, my first thought was Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Otherworldly beautiful by with an edge. Red, of course, is The power color. Strong emotions, love and hate. Red is also associated strongly with blood, which is very important to Edelgard’s plot. Granted, I think the red and black association is even more powerful than JUST red and red is the cheapest play to make in regards to displaying villainy (I mean, there are some pretty universally recognized associations with red and black and it led to people making some unfair comparisons between Edelgard and a famous dictator) but I think it was effective and well used and I genuinely enjoy its use in her case. Anyway, if I had a major complaint about her design it would be the weird ashy color of her hair whereas Lysithea’s hair is pure white. Which doesn’t even matter with the AMAZING hair horns. Ram horns can actually symbolize quite a few things, but their association with power and strength is pretty universal I think. They’re also used in demonic imagery. I love that THIS was her alternative to a crown. Edelgard views herself as a force of war and power before she thinks of herself as royalty. She also mentions that she isn’t super vain, but she loves to do her hair, so the hair being the most elaborate part of her look is entirely in-character. Edelgard’s ensemble is, like Claude, very militaristic. I love that they kept her in a dress that embraces femininity without showing skin as that wouldn’t really suit her Also, again, Edelgard demands your attention. She’s dressed all in bright bright red waving around a giant axe. She is a symbol as much as she is a combatant, someone to follow. I didn’t really mention their secondary lord costumes, but a girl in sexy armor is literally everything and I love that they had the balls to put their main sexy waifu girl in full body armor.
Okay I’m sorry I realize this was excessive and probably didn’t need explaining and I’m not sure I even articulated my thoughts properly but anyway I love their designs so here is the positivity I’ll put into the world.
#fe3h#ferdinand von aegir#claude von riegan#edelgard von hresvelg#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#haha i htae byleths design this was all just to justify my abject disgust for the way she looks#nobody sent me anything about dimitri's dick so this is what i've been reduced to
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OiHina Headcanons #1
Some Brazil/TimeSkip OiHina headcanons that became a little bit of a fic, I'm not sorry:
Oikawa is definitely already operating a what happens in Brazil stays in Brazil mentality before he even runs into Hinata again.
The first time Oikawa sees the tangerine he's playing beach volleyball as Oikawa and the rest of his team take a well earned day off.
Oikawa wouldn't be sure it even was Hinata if not for the way he still managed those freakish jumps on soft sand.
However the first time he speaks to Hinata the two are in a club, both celebrating different things, a few days later.
Hinata spots Oikawa and beams, grabbing a second drink and taking it over to him.
Hinata starts recalling all the things that happened in high school, what he'd learnt and continued to learn, even mentioned a few things about Iwaizumi.
Oikawa smiled, drinking in the praise and the alcohol. And really who gave Hinata the right to look so damn precious.
The first night both are adamant that it's a one night thing, they both have people waiting on them in Japan of course. But they don't lose contact.
Hinata somehow worms his way into the hearts of Oikawa's team and therefore their practices. He claims as much as he loves beach volleyball and how much he's learning from it, he misses the solidity of the court beneath his feet.
Soon enough Hinata starts joining in Oikawa's practice and vice versa, both picking up skills that are beneficial to each of them.
It becomes more at some point, the two start hanging out, showing each other their favourite cafes, shops and parks. Hinata talks about everything and anything, he actually keeps up with everyone back in Japan so Oikawa knows that Iwaizumi is coaching, Kageyama is still playing competitively, Kenma is a very successful gamer.
Oikawa also knows that the Karasuno coach and teacher supervisor got married. Hinata very quickly shut his mouth, covering it and blushing wildly trying to back track. Oikawa laughed and said it didn't bother him, he wouldn't tell, but was also trying to conceal his staring at the flustered boy.
The second time it happened they were both drunk, both sad and both missing their exes. It hadn't been like that first night where the adrenaline and surprise had ruled. This one had be slower, softer, closer. Both of them desperately trying to replace something they hadn't quite lost.
Hinata stays. He sleeps on the sofa, but he stays. He makes Oikawa breakfast in the morning, cup of coffee in hand, saying they needed to talk about this and where it was going.
'I like you, Oikawa. I just need to know whether this is just going to be a thing or not?'
‘I think it could be a thing. A friends with benefits kind of situation, right?’
'Ok, from now until I leave.'
That was another thing. Hinata would be leaving. Oikawa knew he wouldn't stay forever, part of staying in Brazil was to try and find himself outside of his past. He never expected Hinata would stick around. He never expected himself to want Hinata to stick around.
They work out they have around a month and a half before Hinata heads back to Japan and they make the most of it. Sure there's a lot of fooling around, but the pair seem to take the friends part seriously too.
Hinata reveals how scared he'd been of everything in high school. Feeling like the whole team relied on him. Sure he'd built himself up to be like the Little Giant but the pressure that came with it often tried to drown him.
Oikawa admitted the problems he'd had. The reason he'd nearly punched Kageyama in middle school. The stupid knee injury that he still tests the limits of. The panic attacks that still hit him out of nowhere.
By the time Hinata has to return, neither one really want him to leave. Oikawa reminds him it was always supposed to be temporary, Hinata likes to say the friends part will always be permanent.
Neither admit it but they both cry at the airport as Oikawa sends Hinata off with a soft forehead kiss and tight hug.
Time passes, Oikawa is selected for the Argentinian national team. Iwaizumi begs him to come home, but Oikawa isn't finished.
They stop talking for a while, but Hinata fills the space with random anecdotes about his new teammates, about how Kageyama is suffering on the same team as Ushijima. And, when Hinata knows Oikawa is in a good enough mood, updates on Iwaizumi.
There's one day, in a cold November, that Hinata facetimes Oikawa at an unreasonable hour in Japan. Oikawa's just on his way to practice but he accepts the call.
'Why are you awake?'
'I needed to make sure you'd be with people. It's about practice time in Argentina right?'
Oikawa is shocked that Hinata even remembers, and then he realises.
'What do you mean with people?'
'Well, Kags and I made the Japan national team. We also broke up so things haven't been so great.'
'Ok, that's fantastic about making the team though. Can't wait to kick your ass at the olympics.'
Hinata laughs: 'yeah.'
'What?'
'Well, we had our team dinner where we met our coach and his fiancee...it's Iwaizumi-san.'
Oikawa hung up. Tears brimming in his eyes. Hinata was the one to tell him Iwaizumi was engaged. He broke. Didn't show up at practice, claimed mild food poisoning. He just needed a day.
Of course Oikawa didn't really expect Iwa-chan to wait for him forever. They hadn't spoken in a year or so, but he thought Iwaizumi would have told him about his engagement at least.
He shoots off a blunt 'Congratulations' text. Quickly followed by an 'I'll be ok' text to Hinata.
Oikawa really tries to put the engagement out of his mind but the Olympics roll around and of course the first person he bumps into is Iwaizumi.
'I hope you'll be very happy together.'
It's all he says, it's all he allows before running to find his original destination.
Hinata opens the door to a red faced, puffy cheeked Oikawa who's trying his best not to fall apart in the corridor.
They don't talk, Hinata just holds Oikawa close, being the big spoon until he falls asleep. Iwaizumi knocks once, but the cursing out Hinata gives him is enough to scare him away. Hinata may like his coach enough but he liked Oikawa more, he was the priority right now.
Oikawa woke up to Hinata scrolling through his phone, he peeps at the screen seeing pictures of Hinata and Kageyama, obviously taken when they were a couple.
'I was so stupid to think it'd be the same once I came back.'
'We both were. I'm stupider, cause I thought he'd wait forever.'
'Do you still love him?'
'Not like I did, doesn't make it hurt less though. Do you still love Kageyama?'
'I don't think I did before I even arrived back in Japan.'
That was a loaded sentence. Oikawa sat up straight, searching Hinata's face for any kind of sign.
'Once more for old times sake?'
'Does it have to be only once? I'd like to do it a lot, and all the other things that come with it. Like dating, yeah, that, um cuddles too I guess...' Hinata was losing it, Oikawa noted down that he would have to keep making the younger boy flustered.
'I would like that too.'
'Shōyō.'
'Tōru.'
Hinata nodded. They both laugh awkwardly before Oikawa leaves for his actual room, promising to meet him back on the court.
When Japan wins their match Oikawa rushes Hinata, kissing him square on the lips in congratulations. Kageyama frowns as Iwaizumi leads him away from punching Oikawa square in the jaw.
Oikawa moves back to Japan for Hinata. Which says something. He didn't ever think of moving back specifically for Iwaizumi. It's coupled with him retiring from volleyball finally. His knee was really starting to give him trouble a lot more often, much to Hinata's frustration.
Hinata continues playing, and Oikawa finds a job in the fashion industry. As much as he'd liked to have been a model he finds that working as a photoshoot stylist has it's benefits. One of them being seeing a few old friends of his.
The main benefit of course is having time for a relationship. Hinata and he get their own apartment together a year into dating, and it's cosy and homely and everything Oikawa had always wanted. It's warm.
Oikawa did most of the decorating, even though Hinata definitely sneaks a few volleyball posters in. He also snuck in a framed collage of Oikawa's first ever shoot he styled solo. Oikawa announced he loved him that day.
Hinata said I love you first the day that Oikawa announced he was retiring. He'd say he just wanted Oikawa to know, that he didn't expect him to say it back, but Oikawa knew Hinata had been in love with him since Brazil, a part of Oikawa had been in love with Hinata then too.
Oikawa proposes. Much like their first kiss at the Olympics, its four years into their relationship. They'd been speaking about it. Hinata was talking about finally retiring and it was his last competitive match.
His team had won and as their friends and family swarmed the court Oikawa blended in, reaching Hinata and sliding down onto one knee. It was a private moment just for them, the team hiding them from the crowd.
Of course Hinata said yes.
I might do a part two to this of OiHina and their disgustingly domestic married life, haven’t quite decided.
#oihina#hinaoi#hinata shouyou#hinata shōyō#hq oikawa#oikawa#oikawa tooru#oikawa torū#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu drabble#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu headcanons#oihina headcanons#hinata headcanons#haikyuu time skip#hq hinata#oikawa tohru#hinata shoyou#oikawa x hinata
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Spring 2021 Anime Season
Mars Red is one of two series this season set in one of my favorite periods, the Meiji era. It’s a vampire series that deals a lot with the politics of war as the Japanese military is attempting to establish a vampire unit, supposedly to compete with the British vampire unit (because of course that’s a thing). It focuses on a human military officer named Maeda who is charged with recruiting and managing vampires. Maeda is the type of character I really enjoy. Handsome, a little older than most anime protagonists, chain-smoking, overly serious, and voiced by Junichi Suwabe (who has to have the sexiest voice in all of anime). The series has a classic, romantic feel to it. Its take on vampires is somewhat traditional (they evaporate in the sun, drink blood, sleep in coffins, have super strength and speed, etc.). If it brings anything new to the table, it’s the concept of vampires having different ranks, from S-class down, and how lower ranks naturally fear higher ranks. Still yet, the classic vibe works in the show’s favor. Combined with the historical setting, it gives the show a certain charm. The art is lovely, from the backgrounds to the character designs, and the music is a high point. It easily has the best ending theme of the season.
Fumetsu no Anata e (To Your Eternity) is a unique series. I’ve seen a lot of people comparing it to Mushishi, but with an overarching plot, and that assessment is pretty accurate. The show follows an entity that comes to be known as Fushi. It begins as an orb, and as it makes contact with other objects and creatures, it learns from them and can possibly take their forms. Among the forms it most often takes are a white wolf and a young man. Originally, it’s a somewhat empty shell, incapable of communicating, but as it meets different creatures and learns, it develops a personality and begins to speak. The series is, overall, about Fushi’s journey through this world and all the experiences it gains, both wonderful and tragic. There’s a subtle beauty to the series, with an early focus on nature, but it also has scenes of trauma and violence. The animation is fluid and the facial expressions are amazing. There’s an overall natural feel to it that, like others have pointed out, reminds me of Mushishi (though it’s definitely faster paced than Mushishi). The show also likes to make you cry, so keep that in mind.
Joran: The Princess of Snow and Blood is the other series set in the Meiji era this season, albeit an alternate version of it that has a strange form of technology. To be honest, I’m a little fuzzy on some of the details, but it seems to be about a group called the Nue who work for the government to fight against a growing rebellion. The main character is Sawa, a member of Nue who has some sort of special powers involving her blood, which allow her to transform and battle monsters, or whatever else stands in her way. Her goal is to get revenge for the death of her entire clan (implied to be wiped out because of their power). Sawa is a decent heroine, a woman who craves vengeance and is determined to get it through any means, but is, at her core, a compassionate person who would rather live in peace. It’s this internal conflict that makes Sawa compelling (even if it’s not entirely original). The other characters are interesting, particularly Tsuki, whom I won’t talk much about because it would involve spoilers. The plot and details can get a little convoluted, but the action and animation are solid. When Sawa transforms, the art style changes, and it’s a really cool visual effect. The music is also nice.
Shaman King received a remake this season. I was a huge fan of the original, and so far I’m enjoying the remake, but to be honest, I’m having trouble seeing the point. The art is almost the same (just a lot shinier), the voice actors are the same, the plot is the same. Maybe it’s just that it’s been so long since I saw the original, I’m unable to remember the details and so I can’t tell what’s different. But to me it feels like I’m just rewatching the show. Which is fine, because I loved it to begin with. Maybe it gets different later on. Maybe it more closely follows the manga. I’ll keep watching to find out. For anyone new to the series, it looks like the remake is a solid place to start if you want to get into it. I won’t go into plot details for a story this old, so I’ll just say it’s a top tier shounen fighting series with a unique art style and some very memorable characters. If you like that sort of thing, and missed the original (or you just want a refresher), definitely check it out!
Godzilla Singular Point is a true delight. I’m a huge Godzilla (and kaiju in general) fan. I’ve watched every single Godzilla movie, as well as all the related movies (the Mothra films, Rodan, etc.), but I never watched the previous Godzilla anime that was on Netflix a few years ago. It just didn’t sound like something I’d like. Singular Point, however, is right up my alley. Set mainly in a small seaside town that’s suddenly attacked by bird-like monsters known as Rodans, we have two geeky protagonists using their intelligence to figure out what’s going on while more and more monsters appear. Mei and Yun are excellent heroes. They rely on their wits rather than physical strength, which is a refreshing approach. It’s also interesting that they have little to no face-to-face interaction. Instead, they chat with each other via text as they work separately. They often challenge each other with science questions. It’s adorable. The show’s overall feel is fairly upbeat and energetic. The colorful art and peppy character designs by Kazue Kato (who did Blue Exorcist) help with this feel. It should be noted that Godzilla himself doesn’t fully appear until halfway through the series. It says a lot about the quality of the show that I don’t actually mind that at all. Some of the science stuff does go over my head, but the general plot is easy enough to follow and the action is very well done. It also has fantastic music, with my favorite opening theme of the season. Even if Godzilla isn’t your thing, consider giving this series a shot if you like nerdy science types as heroes.
Burning Kabaddi is a sports anime about an unsual sport. I’d never heard of it before now, and if people in the comments were not talking about the very real sport, I would have assumed it was made up for the anime. The show is aware that the sport is obscure, so it takes great pains to explain the rules and details so that we can all follow the action. The story centers on Yoigoshi, a soccer prodigy who decides to drop all sports once he gets to high school due to all the drama and angst that surrounded him (mostly due to his teammates being jealous of his talent), and pursue a career as a streamer. All the various sports clubs at the school want to recruit him (especially the soccer club, of course) because they’ve heard of his skill and he has an athletic build. He rejects them all, but the Kabaddi club is strangely relentless. He ends up being manipulated into joining (the vice captain of the team straight up blackmails him by threatening to show his online streaming account to the whole school). Despite this rocky beginning, Yoigoshi actually starts to enjoy playing Kabaddi, and more importantly, begins to bond with his new teammates. It’s pretty fun stuff that doesn’t take itself too seriously. The art is serviceable for a sports anime and the music is fine. The series isn’t going to blow your mind, but it’s a fun way to spend twenty minutes every week. Worth a watch if you have a weakness for hot blooded sports anime.
The World Ends With You finally got its anime adaptation and I was so excited. The game is one of my all-time favorites. So far the anime is pretty good. The art is a near perfect replication of the bold, thick-lined art of the game. The battles are exciting and cool. Best of all, the anime often uses music from the game. This is important because the game has one of the best soundtracks, ever. Every time I recognize a song from the game, I almost squeal. If I had a complaint, it’s that the pacing feels a little off at times. It feels like the anime is rushing through the story, but that’s understandable. In the game, it took longer for everything to happen because you were walking from place to place, fighting battles along the way, stopping to scan NPC’s, shopping at stores, spending time in menus, etc. The anime has to cut most of that out, so naturally things are going to move faster. The result is that you don’t get to spend as much time with these characters, and so you feel less attached to them. Anyone watching the anime who didn’t play the game might feel like the emotional beats are lacking. I feel like this anime is definitely meant to be enjoyed by fans of the game, rather than newcomers to the story. But if you are a fan of the game? You should be watching this every week. It’s an excellent refresher on the story, just in time for the second game to come out this summer. Super high on my watch list.
Boku no Hero Academia has a new season. To be honest I don’t remember what number we’re on. This season, so far, focuses on a tournament-style competition between the two main hero classes. I would much prefer the plot to move on to something more exciting involving the villains, but I suppose they have to throw arcs like this in every so often just to remind everyone of which characters have which quirks. The plus point is that instead of being an individual competition, it’s team-based. What this ultimately means is that characters that are viewed as weaker or having more obscure quirks actually get a chance to shine. These are characters who definitely aren’t going to win one-on-one battles. In an individual tournament, it’s pretty much a given that characters like Deku, Bakugou, and Todoroki are going to win most of the matches. But in a team, everyone has to work together. The end result is that the lady characters, all of whom have fairly weak or situational quirks, finally FINALLY get to actually do stuff! Even better, in several of the match-ups, the girls have taken the lead in planning and strategizing. It’s been pretty nice to watch. The girls from the other class have been very proactive as well. I really wish the girls could do more in “real” battles with villains, since it’s clear that they can step up when they need to. Who knows? Maybe this is a sign of good things to come.
86 is a new mecha/sci-fi anime based on a series of light novels. The setup is fairly cool: In a country where everyone has silver hair and eyes, the people live in what looks like a utopia. There is a war going on outside their protected land but all combat is performed by automated robots, so there are no human casualties... or so the government would have the people believe. In reality, there is a district that exists on the outskirts of the country called 86, where people who don’t have silver hair and eyes are sent to pilot the robots and fight to protect the country that shunned them. Most of the pilots are children or teenagers. The mortality rate is high. Only a few people in the government know of their existence, mostly military types that include “handlers”. These handlers each take on an 86 unit and communicate with them through a system called “para-raid”. Using this, they monitor the battlefield from their safe positions and issue commands. Naturally, most handlers view their units as nothing more than tools in the war, and most 86-ers view their handlers as privileged snobs who know nothing of actual battle. The real plot kicks in when Lena, a young Major, becomes the new handler for a particular 86 unit. Lena is sympathetic to the people of 86, but it’s going to be hard getting her notoriously rough unit to accept her. The plot is a bit complicated and the show deals with some weighty themes (racism, privilege, war, child soldiers, death). Lena is a likable enough heroine and the members of 86 are all interesting and fairly well written. The music is fine. The art... well, it’s pretty to look at, but it feels a bit generic to me. A bit too shiny. The mecha designs are great, but I’m not crazy about the character designs, which feel like they could be from any other modern anime. I also find it sad but hilarious at the same time that the women’s military uniforms are clearly designed for fanservice (they include mini skirts, thigh-highs with garters, and a short jacket that opens up just above the chest to show the tight shirt underneath) while the men’s uniforms are just totally normal military wear. To be honest it’s just too stupid to actually be offensive, so it comes across as comical. Thankfully, the interesting setup and plot carry the show, making it good enough to overlook the generic visuals.
Moriarty the Patriot has a new season... maybe? I think it’s technically still season one, but with a split cour. Regardless, it feels like a new season so I’m treating it as such. The series focuses on famous Sherlock antagonist Moriarty, here represented as a trio of handsome brothers (though one of them is clearly the protagonist and the leader of the group) who work as “crime consultants” and basically help the lower classes wage class warfare against the nobility. This season shifts the focus away from the individual crimes Moriarty concocts and instead focuses on larger-scale conflicts that involve government conspiracies, corrupt cops, etc. We’re also treated to a lady James Bond (finally!), fixing one of the very few complaints I had about the first cour (that it lacked strong lady characters). The show remains very compelling, with beautiful art and excellent new opening and ending themes.
Best of Season:
Best New Show: Godzilla Singular Point
Best Opening Theme: Godzilla Singular Point
Best Ending Theme: Mars Red
Best New Male Character: Maeda (Mars Red)
Best New Female Character: Sawa (Joran)
#Anime Reviews#Spring 2021 Anime#Seasonal Anime Reviews#Seasonal Anime#Anime#Text#Godzilla Singular Point#Mars Red#moriarty the patriot#Fumetsu no anata e#Burning Kabaddi#86
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Call Her Back
Probably already a post with this title from the Let’s Play but it’s appropriate.
Thoughts on Replicant up to Ending A (and change):
This game is pretty. I guess it didn’t really hit me because I’ve always thought that the original NIER was pretty, but this game can be very pretty.
This in particular just kind of struck me as I was going across the Northern Plains. It had been dominantly gray, overcast skies up to that point because Part II of the game is meant to be. You know. Bleak. But I walked out onto a bright, sunny day with an expanse of blues skies, the mountains in the backgrounds, the ivy a burst of green growing up the rusted sides of the train tracks and it just kind of hit me that the game can be very pretty.
(Then I got punched out by a Shade.)
It’s definitely not a matter of massive graphical overhaul. The models look much better (getting a good look at the Twins during the finale, they really are beautiful) and I’m sure the environmental poly count is much higher and just overall smoother, and there are little touches here and there and just the capacity for better atmospheric lighting... I mean it all helps. But NIER is a game that’s always had fantastic art direction, making the most out of its budget through atmospheric tuning. There’s something uniquely beautiful about its muted palette and the way it uses its spaces that elevates it beyond the its actual technical limitations. It doesn’t look like an end-of-generation PS4 game, but that’s not an insult; it looks very much like itself from ten years ago, with its solid art direction, but touched up where it matters.
Does the sidequest grind seem... better...? I haven’t really dug into the BEST part of the game (spending 30 hours grinding out weapon upgrades) but I mentioned before my theory about how the sidequest grind is supposed to be carried out across multiple playthroughs and that’s why it sucks. To my surprise I finished Ending A missing only one sidequest (your friend and mine, Life in the Sands), with all of the other ones being more or less... pretty natural? The only thing I really needed to go out of my way for was Memory Alloy but all the other components didn’t really give me the kind of grief I remember from my playthroughs of the original. ‘Grief’ of course being relative to getting the platinum trophy, but my first time through the game I gave up finishing a few outstanding sidequests (specifically, fixing the lighthouse broke me-- I could not find 10 Mysterious Switches!)
Maybe I just got lucky, especially with the Machine Oils. Maybe some weird muscle memory kicked in. I feel like there were a few purchasing options that weren’t open originally, too, to ameliorate some of the grind, but it might also be a case of those options being cost-prohibitive so I just didn’t really acknowledge them... whatever the case the sidequest grind felt overall pretty painless. I dunno!
I really need to know how to manipulate events. For literally seven playthroughs straight of the latter half of the game I always did the keystone quest as Junk Heap (start) - Forest of Myth - Junk Heap (end) - Facade - Aerie. It wasn’t until I did a run with my college roommates and Popola gave me the Aerie letter before the Facade in invite that I realized the Aerie wasn’t actually programmed to be the last event.
Absolutely blew my mind, and ever since I became aware of it, it feels like the game goes out of its way to make sure the Aerie always comes before Facade. When I did my Let’s Play of NIER I kept a save file from the start of the kystone collection so I could re-do the events in case they went ‘out of order’ (according to my headcanon)... which they did. I replayed the latter half of the game again in order to get things the way I wanted them to be, same order, and fortunately it cooperated the second time, but I still don’t understand what the trigger is, if there’s a way to manipulate it, or when the determination is even made.
And then they throw the Little Mermaid into the mix, which I wasn’t expecting (that is, I knew it was added, but I’ve been mostly avoiding spoilers -- and happily, the changes have largely been a delight, I’m so excited for the subsequent playthroughs -- but the way it was posted about made it seem like it would happen after and apart from the keystone quest. Not so, my friends).
The reason for this is just the emotional escalation of each factor of the quest. The Forest of Myth is weird and little else (at this juncture, of course). The Junk Heap is a personal tragedy, but the actual tragedy has already occurred and you’re just experiencing the fallout. Facade is a powerful and personal tragedy that deserves to be experienced later on. The Aerie is a terrible place and nobody misses it it’s an enormous loss and profoundly traumatic for the party, and it feels like the appropriate apex to basically force them to go to the Castle and finish the fight, having already lost far too much.
Also it’s just super weird to me that they see that devastation, they literally wipe an entire settlement off the map, and then the next day everybody’s super excited to go to a wedding.
It also becomes even weirder that you go to Popola post-Aerie and nobody mentions ‘yeah that didn’t go so well’ but coming out of Seafront they have a legitimate conversation about the loss of the ferryman and the people they’re never getting back. I guess that guy had a personality but I still think maybe somebody should mention the smoking crater where people used to be.
Then again it’s legitimately funny to me how basically everybody is just agreed the world is better off without it.
This might also just be an issue of familiarity. Maybe if I’d always ended on Facade, or actually known that they could be swapped out as they are, it wouldn’t feel so weird. I definitely got used to the pacing with the Aerie at the end and I feel like I got into a debate with somebody about how it’s more appropriate for Facade to come last so this might just be a personal thing. But it’s still a personal thing and I’m still vaguely irritated I can’t figure out how it works.
Anyway I blew up the Aerie So that’s that problem taken care of.
I feel like the ambiance surrounding Wendy was a little creepier this time. I swear I heard that good stock creepy child laughter in the background.
Then the ferryman left This was a nice bit of foreshadowing; following the Aerie events I wanted to hop over to Seafront to take care of an extant sidequest only to find the ferry dock in the Northern Plains empty. I thought that maybe this was just a weird way of railroading you to make sure you went through the Village first, even though there were no scenes that would trigger just by being in the Village.
Alas.
Not gonna lie, when the couple was first introduced I thought for SURE it was going to be the wife who wound up dead. I guess it’s because the guy had a purpose as an NPC so yeah, I was tricked. Good design decision; the ferryman is talkative and bright and definitely difficult to forget and even though he was kinda obnoxious there’s a definite void where his dialogue was. It’s clever too that you’re forced to use the ferry at least once so you can’t escape the dialogue that you’re presented with, meaning that even if you don’t really make use of the ferry you’ll always have that contrast between him at the start of Part II and the other guy (his brother, maybe?) taking over the job and just not really talking to you afterward.
Episode Mermaid First of all, to be clear, I’ve not done the Route B playthrough yet. All I know about the Little Mermaid is what’s presented on the surface, what can be gleaned from there, what I remember reading in the Grimoire NieR short story. This is very much just an impression and reaction to the first encounter and it’s pretty cool.
I like that they managed to go into yet another genre style aping a point-and-click adventure.
I like the atmosphere of the wrecked ship. It really brought me back to the ‘ghost ship’ level archetype with its little hints of spookiness.
I appreciate that it ties subtly in to the Haunted Manor (technically the Part I Seafront dungeon) with Weiss’ utterly irrational fear of ghosts.
I love every excuse they find to get Kaine and Emil (and especially Kaine) out of a situation. It’s almost a running gag that Kaine keeps getting knocked out of dungeons and boss fights. None of them are quite as great as her getting Rules Lawyer’d in the Barren Temple, but there’s something delightful about “Let’s get you some fresh air, we’ll be right outside, be careful!” and then bookending it with Kaine and Emil just chilling at the end like “Well yeah there are a lot of holes in the hull we just popped in.”
(I forgot to go backward to see what happens if you try to take them into Seafront proper, gotta remember that next time.)
Interesting thing when you find some of the dropped apples is that Nier and Weiss talk about the dinner they had with the couple. This was actually a really sweet and oddly emotional conclusion to the added sidequest between the bickering couple-- entirely missable. I would assume the dialogue just doesn’t trigger if you didn’t do the quest but it was a nice touch.
I appreciate the use of dead bodies in the hold.
(That’s a sentence.)
But for the game’s focus on violence and excess of blood it’s very selective in how it uses actual corpses. Any time you see a dead body it really emphasizes the seriousness of the situation. The corpses in the hold and the blood spatter -- especially compared to how bright and clean Seafront as a whole is -- was surprisingly effective. Again, just good atmospheric buildup.
Bit of an anticlimax as a boss, though. It is a really cool boss, between the environmental buildup to the fight and then actually unveiling her, but for how big and scary she is the fight itself went by fairly quick, and the actual finale (the postman whacking her hand telling her to go away she’s groooooss) felt a bit weird in comparison to the way the boss fights in the rest of the game usually play out. Of course, I don’t have context of her dialogue (I can take my guesses, her holding out her hand to Hans as he freaks out and attacks her is already a palpable tragedy) and by the way the scene was framed I suspect the Route B reveal is where the most important part of the scenario lies.
And the seals came back! It’s the little things.
“I wish I was Fyra.” So in the original Replicant the conversation between Emil and Nier before Sech’s wedding was apparently an implication that Emil had a crush on Nier and wanted to marry him. It was ambiguous enough that people had to ask for clarification and some players interpreted it as a weird, childish expression of looking up to and respecting Brother Nier. It was clarified in the Grimoire NieR that Emil is gay and crushing hard on Brother Nier, and this line of dialogue here seems to have been... not made explicit, but changed even between RepliCant and ver. 1.22 to make the implication a little clearer, at least insofar as he isn’t interested in girls. (It winds up missing the implication that he’s into Nier specifically, though.)
...which is funny, because it colors his introduction to the King of Facade somewhat differently. These two meeting is honestly really sweet on a few levels (Sechs recognizing him from Nier’s descriptions, which implies that Nier’s been visiting Sechs regularly and so proud of his interactions with Emil he told the king of another nation all about him, and the King is legit excited to meet him) but then a couple of minutes later Emil is all ‘I’m so jealous of Fyra’. He isn’t crushing on Nier, but he is totally crushing on Sechs.
Endgame At this point in the game the distinction between Brother and Father has become mostly lost and the final charge is pretty much the same as
wait what’s up with the music in the Lost Shrine? This is Snow in Summer.
Or an arrangement thereof. That particular track level from Snow in Summer winds up getting used in a few new places and it has this kind of weird, vague sense of dread that makes it work pretty well. Utterly threw me off in the Lost Shrine, though (I think it’s appropriate given its connection to the Shadowlord/Gestalt Nier so slowly re-introducing it in the climb is pretty cool). It also builds insanely as you climb, which is a very cool effect but, um, I’m just here to pick up some sidequest items right now this feels like a little much.
There isn’t much to say regarding any impact or differences in the large part of this area of the game. It’s a good final dungeon, it carries good momentum, it works as well as it ever did (that is to say, rather well). The emotional beats are great and translate equally well between the protagonists, although I have to give the nod to Papa Nier during a lot of this just for the imagery of such a big, powerful man becoming so broken the further he goes in (and Kaine being strong enough to toss him around like a rag doll anyway).
The final flashback with Nier and Yonah also feels better with Papa Nier. I always read it as, of course, Papa Nier having his moment with Yonah, giving her the flower, and as he lays back down Yonah does the same big sigh like she’s trying to emulate her dad and it’s really sweet. This is another one of those moments where it’s not something that feels wrong in Replicant, but just having that comparison in the back of my head is something that I just can’t help.
Is Papa Nier still Best Neir? Yes.
But there’s room in my heart for Brother. I’m glad the bizarre marketing decision happened and both of these characters can exist.
...and then we reload the save. Okay, okay, so-- so here’s the thing-- I figured that’s a good place to conclude a session, right? Get to the ending, prepare for the next run. But I also know that Route B starts with Kaine’s unskippable novel segments. I’ve read them, of course, so I figure I’ll just reload into Route B so I can make a save after the novel sections, really get into the meat of Route B when I’m fresh.
So skim through those--
Beat up the Knave--
Skim through the rest--
Educated Warrior... didn’t pop...?--
Wait what’s this camera angle--
Why am I outs--
oh my god
oh my god
KAINE AND EMIL HAVING GIGGLY GIRL TALK AROUND THE CAMPFIRE OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING
THERE’S MORE.
THERE’S. MORE.
I legit short-circuited. Going in I knew they added the Little Mermaid. I knew they added Ending E. Those were things I suspected would be added and went out to specifically confirm; beyond that I’ve been keeping myself completely spoiler free.
I had no idea there was more. I had no idea this was happening.
I’m so excited.
And a goofy thought for the road
“I polished you with a special cloth, I poured warm water on you--”
“Wait, you poured water on me?”
/imagines Emil running blindfolded eight hours across the Southern Plains with an 8oz plastic water cup, getting to the library, splashing it on Kaine, waiting expectantly
/nothing happens
/walks dejectedly eight hours all the way back to the Manor
#NieR#NieR Replicant#Musings#Ramblings#OH MY GOD WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS#I AM SO GLAD NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
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Sweet Pea//you’re too hard to forget
Request: Hey!! Love your writing! Are you able to write a song imagine for the song lie to me by 5sos and Julia Michaels.. for reader x sweet pea when they broke up and seeing other people but still think of each other? Thankyou!! 🧡
hey! i looooove this song and i loved writing this! also it’s very angsty so be warned i hope you enjoy!
Red Rose Hall is everything Toni and Cheryl hyped it up to be. High ceilings, bright white walls, soft gold decor, chandeliers, candlesticks that are definitely made out of solid gold and enough room in just the entrance to fit at least half of Riverdale’s population in.
It seems half of Riverdale’s population is here tonight, as well as at least another 100 people that Sweet Pea has never met before. But what else does he expect from Cheryl and Toni.
The invitation he’d received for their engagement would probably fit in as decor here, and he clutches it tightly as he walks through the large wooden doors.
An older man in a suit offers him champagne and he takes it gratefully, suddenly feeling underdressed in the only suit he owns. He fiddles with his tie, trying to hide the ketchup stain that he can’t quite get out.
“This is amazing.” A voice says in awe and suddenly he remembers that he isn’t here alone. “And this is just their engagement party?” Cece asks, her dark hair falling straight down her back and over her pale blue dress.
“Er-yeah.” He says, handing her a glass of champagne. “Cheryl is very...out there.”
“You’re telling me.” She laughs and takes a sip. “Holy shit, is that an ice sculpture?” Her eyes widen and Sweet Pea follows her gaze until they’re both staring at a huge sculpture of Cheryl and Toni.
“That is-”
“Wonderful!” Cheryl’s cheery voice makes both Sweet Pea and Cece jump before turning around to face her. Toni stands beside her, and her and Sweet Pea share a look.
It’s been well over a year since they last saw each other, but they don’t even have to say anything to know what the other is thinking.
“Yes. Thats what I was just about to say.” Sweet Pea says, glancing quickly at Toni who stifles a laugh. “How are you Cheryl?”
“Fantastic.” She replies. “Me and my future wife to be have been enjoying engaged life.”
“You don’t need to tell us about that.” He interrupts and Cheryl hits his arm, sending him a sharp glare.
“Not like that...but thats been great too.” She smirks and nudges Toni. “Are you going to introduce us?” She asks, staring straight at Cece.
Sweet Pea sighs and braces himself for the grilling he’s going to get. Toni won’t be as bad, but Cheryl was more your friend than his, and now he’s brought a new woman, he’s definitely going to have to watch his back.
Speaking of you, he wonders if you’re here. Of course you are. You’d never miss this, but the room is so big and he feels so small compared to it. He used to always be able to find you in a room, it was a secret talent of his, or maybe it was you just drawing him to yourself constantly. Tonight however, he can’t see you anywhere and he doesn’t know if thats a good or bad thing.
“This is Cece.” He says and gestures to the woman holding onto his arm. She waves awkwardly at Toni and Cheryl and they both smile back at her. Cheryl’s is a lot faker than Toni’s but thankfully she doesn’t notice. “Cece, this is Toni and Cheryl.”
“It’s really nice to meet you both.” Cece replies, a sweet smile on her face. It’s no where near yours, but that’s what Sweet Pea likes about her. She’s the complete opposite of you and thats just what he needs. “And congratulations.”
“Thank you.” Toni says sincerely.
“Yeah. Thank you.” Cheryl adds. “It was lovely seeing you again Sweet Pea, and nice meeting you Cece. But there’s lots of people here and we need to talk to everyone. You can put your gift on that table over there.”
“We didn’t bring anythi-”
“Money is fine.” She cuts him off, calling over her shoulder.
“Sorry.” Toni mumbles before following Cheryl.
Despite Cheryl’s grating personality, it’s nice to know not everything has changed since the last time he saw everyone. Cheryl is still as rude as ever, Toni still apologizes for her and they’re both still very extra.
“Do they really need anymore presents?” Cece asks and points to the large table in the corner of the room. Its stacked full of gift bags and huge boxes and Sweet Pea’s eye widen at the sheer amount of stuff they probably already have.
His eyes scan the room, looking out for anyone else he knows. Hopefully Fangs is around somewhere and three of them can sit at a table near the back until it’s acceptable to go to the very expensive rooms they’ve been forced into paying for and staying in tonight.
He does find Fangs, standing with a grin on his face and two champagne glasses in hand as he talks to a guy with curly brown hair, glasses and a suit that looks like Sweet Pea pulled his out of the trash.
His eyebrows furrow in confusion, he doesn’t remember Fangs mentioning a new boyfriend the last time they text. But when he looks at the guy properly, he notices he’s also holding two champagne glasses and now he’s even more confused.
That is until he see’s you, approaching the pair of them with another girl walking beside you. You both stop the conversation you’re having to greet Fangs and the mystery guy and they hand each of you a champagne glass.
The other girl stands beside Fangs and he quickly realizes its Jade from school, he then chuckles quietly to himself, momentarily forgetting about you and whoever he is, because can you imagine Jade and Fangs together? They are definitely not each others type.
His smile disappears however once he see’s you reach up and press a kiss to mystery guy’s cheek.
You brought someone else.
Okay, so did he, but that’s beside the point.
You look good, but different. It’s been a year since you saw each other so he’s not surprised you’ve changed, he’s just surprised by how much.
You look like a completely new person. Like you changed over night. Your hair is longer, your makeup and style different and you look confident. A lot more confident that the last time he say you. You still capture an entire room when you walk into it, but now its like you know you’re doing it.
He feels frozen, everything about you is so different, yet it feels so familiar to him and he can’t stop looking at you. Even when you throw your head back in laughter at something Fangs has said and when you look around, acutely aware that someone is watching you. Even when you notice him looking at you from across the room, Sweet Pea still doesn’t look away.
You send him a polite smile before turning your attention back to your new boyfriend. Sweet Pea continues to watch, hoping that you’ll glance at him again, but you don’t. You don’t even attempt to look at him again and he feels his heart sink.
“Sweet Pea? Are you okay?” Cece asks, pulling him from his thoughts and his heart sinks even further at Cece’s worried expressions. He doesn’t deserve her and neither did you, which is why you’re both here with other people instead of each other.
At least you look happy. Or at least you’re trying to. Your smile reaches your eyes, but it doesn’t make them light up like it used to. He wonders if he did that to you or if its because of the new guy you’re with. He hopes it wasn’t him, but he can’t shake the gut feeling that it was.
“Yeah.” He nods, finally dragging his eyes away from your figure. They settle on Cece and she smiles at him warmly, but he can tell she noticed. There’s just a hint of disappointment resting behind her eyes. “I’m fine. Do you want to find our table?” He asks, wanting any excuse to get away from you and him.
“Yeah okay.” She replies and grabs his hand, weaving him through the mass of people.
He sits down, the gold chairs with large white cushions on them help him sink further into the depression he’s already falling into, purely because he knows the chairs alone probably cost more than his rent last month.
He tries so hard to loose himself in having a good time with Cece, but he just can’t. He looks at her but ends up looking straight through her and back at you again. As Cece takes in the the small details of the large hall, Sweet Pea takes in the smaller details of you.
You stand a little differently that how you did a year ago. Maybe its because whoever your new boyfriend is closer to your height than he is Sweet Pea’s, or maybe its the new found confidence you seem to have since Sweet Pea left.
This time two years ago, both of you were staying in Cheryl and Toni’s New York apartment. It was a welcomed break from the busy jobs you were both desperately trying to hold down in order to keep your flat.
You’d only been in New York for 2 days, but it was the best 2 days of your life. Toni and Cheryl had showed you around the city, the four of you doing some sightseeing and just enjoying seeing each other again.
But just before going to bed on the second night, Sweet Pea got a phone call from his work saying they needed him in tomorrow morning, despite the fact he’d booked the week off.
You’d only just managed to go to sleep, finding it difficult due to the loud roads and bright lights outside. You may have also moved to a busy city, but it was no where near as busy as New York, and so Sweet Pea tried desperately to pack as quietly as possible.
You still woke up though, either sensing the empty space beside you or hearing the large thud of Sweet Pea tripping over his suitcase in the dark. You’d asked what he was doing and he felt so bad as he told you he had to go home.
You were of course disappointed and his heart ached at the sight of you trying to hide it. He said you could stay and spend the rest of the week with Toni and Cheryl, but by the time he finished his sentence and multiple apologies you’d already changed your flights and were starting to pack.
“We stay together remember.” You’d whispered in his ear on the plane. You then lay your head on his shoulder and even though he was tired and pissed beyond belief at his boss, he knew he’s got it right. You were definitely the one.
Or at least thats what he thought.
“Holy shit! Pea. I didn’t know you were coming to this!” Fangs is more than excited to see his best friend. He practically jumps on him and it causes Sweet Pea told jolt out of his thoughts at the weight of his friend embracing him.
He returns the hug, a little too late but Fangs doesn’t seem to notice. He’s too busy introducing himself to Cece. She smiles in surprise at the energy of the stranger stood in front of her, but she shakes his hand anyway and introduces herself.
“Don’t mind him. He’s had far too many ‘choni’ cocktails.” A voice deadpans from beside him and he sends the girl it came from a glare. “Hi Sweet Pea.” She waves at the tall serpent and he sends her a smile in return.
“Hey Jade. How are you?”
“Not good. I’ve been put on Fangs babysitting duty.” She huffs and takes a seat opposite the couple. Cece looks at Sweet Pea hesitantly before looking at the purple haired girl opposite her.
“So how long have you and Fangs been together?” She asks in a small voice, but its met with loud laughter from Fangs, Jade and even Sweet Pea.
“Babe, they’re not a couple.” Sweet Pea forces through laughter.
“Well how am I supposed to know that. It’s not like you tell me anything about your friends.” She replies through a gritted smile and Jade and Fangs share an uncomfortable look.
Sweet Pea coughs and stares at the napkin on the table, his finger traces the pattern gently and the four of them wait for something to change the sudden dull mood.
A distraction comes, but it’s not a welcome one and Sweet Pea thinks he’d much rather snide comments from his girlfriend than whatever this is.
“Hi guys.” You smile and wave at the small group. Your boyfriend stands behind you with a hand on your hip. He pushes his glasses up his nose before quickly moving to pull your seat out for you. You smile and sit beside Jade, giving her and Fangs a warm smile. Your boyfriend, who Sweet Pea still doesn’t know the name of sits on the other side of you, and he decides he doesn’t want to know the name of him.
“Ryan, have you had one of these?” Fangs asks, trying his hardest to break the now awful atmosphere surrounding your table. It only makes it worse, because Sweet Pea knows his name and he hates it.
Cece stares down at the silver bracelet dangling around her wrist, she plays with the charms and tries her hardest to will away the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Sweet Pea seethes silently, glancing between the table, you and Ryan every so often. Fangs gulps, and plays with his hands, trying desperately to help his friend but nothing comes to mind.
Jade sits back in her seat, sipping on her drink to try and hide a smile as she watches everyone silently. You sit awkwardly, your chin resting in your hand while you think of how to get out of this situation, and Ryan sits beside you, holding your free hand under the table and glancing at Sweet Pea nervously every so often.
“No, I-er I haven’t no.” He shakes his head, gaining the attention and eyes of the five of you.
“Good.” Jade replies. “They suck.”
“How dare you.” Fangs glares at the girl but she just looks at him bored.
“I’m sorry but if you name a drink after your ‘ship’ name, it automatically sucks. It could be the best tasting thing in the world, but as soon as its got a stupid name, it sucks.” She replies making Fangs huff. You and Sweet Pea stifle laughs at her sudden outburst and the two of you make brief eye contact before the moment is gone.
“You’re so fun at parties. Did you know that?”
“I did. Thats why I was your plus one.”
“You were my plus one because we both got dumped right before thi-” He stops himself mid-sentence but the damage is done. You force yourself to look at Sweet Pea and are surprised to see he’s already looking back at you.
“Well that got awkward fast.” Jade says, taking another long sip from her drink. “I’m getting another one. Anyone want to come with?”
“I will.” You and Sweet Pea stand at the same time.
“Its fine you go.” You say and sit down again.
“No, no. You go.” He replies, also sitting back down.
“Are you sure?” You ask.
He nods quickly before starting a conversation with Cece. Cece talks about how pretty your outfit is and he nods along, not really paying attention.
The only thing he can think of is you.
And how he wishes the two of you never met.
The thought makes something twist in his gut, but it’s true. When you met, he remembers thinking how lucky he was to have been in the right place at the right time. He knew he’d never forget you from the moment you met. And he was right. You are too hard to forget, no matter how bad he wants to.
It doesn’t help when there’s little reminders of you no matter where he goes. A certain smell reminds of of your perfume, a certain taste and he’s taken back to your first date eating Pop’s takeout in the parking lot because there wasn’t enough seats inside.
When you left, he tried to erase every part of you. Every trace of you was taken from the apartment you’d shared. He was angry at you of course, you’d argued and shouted just as much as he did, but he was more angry at himself for letting you go.
He’d cleaned the shattered glass from the floor, caused by you slamming the door a mere five minutes earlier, and he learnt later that you’d gone to a co-workers house for ‘support’ and ended up in his bed.
He knows you don’t love him anymore. Why would you? He said some of the worst things anybody had ever said to you, kicked you out of your home and ignored you for a year after. But he hopes if he asked, you’d lie to him. ----
It’s 3am and you’re still awake. The last of the guests have only just gone to bed and you can hear them stumbling and giggling as they pass your room.
The moonlight streams in through a gap in the dark curtain and it casts a soft glow over Ryan’s bare chest and face. His lips are parted and soft snores echo around the room making you feel even more alone.
You pull your legs up to your chest and wrap your arms around yourself, resting your head on your knees.
Ryan had pressed gentle kisses up and down your neck while the two of you slow danced, his hands had wandered along your body and he’d whispered words in your ears that made you blush and look around, making sure no one else was looking.
Nobody was, not even Sweet Pea and you felt a familiar twang of disappointment at that. But nonetheless, you said your goodbye’s to your friends, thanked Cheryl and Toni for the invite and told them congratulations for probably the fourth night, before Ryan had you pinned against the elevator wall, kissing you like his life depended on it.
Now you sit awake, to busy thinking about Sweet Pea holding onto somebody else the way he used to. Sweet Pea could always sense if you were awake, it was like a weird gift he had. If you couldn’t sleep, he knew. And he would pull you tight to his chest and stroke your hair gently while whispering nonsense in your ear.
Ryan sleeps through anything, which means you’ve spent a lot of lonely nights looking up at the moon. It’s seems the two of you are friends now, but tonight she’s taunting you and you sigh deeply.
This was supposed to be a happy occasion, a chance to see all your friends again. But you feel anything but happiness.
Your mind wanders to last year, and the way you stared at the moon back then. Only it didn’t end with tight cuddles and sweet whispers. It ended in a fight, a break up and the biggest mistake of your life. You walking out and giving up on you and Sweet Pea forever.
You were thinking about New York, and how you should go go back sometime when Sweet Pea stirred beside you, asking the same sleepy question of ‘are you okay?’
‘Yeah’ you’d replied, settling into his arms and letting your eyes flutter closed. ‘Just thinking about when we could go back to New York.’
You honestly hadn’t meant anything more of it. Literally just wondering if you had any weeks off. But Sweet Pea was tired and stressed and took it as an attack. You tried to tell him you didn’t mean it like that, but he wasn’t listening and so you gave up trying to reason with him.
You fought, cried and then you stormed out, not bothering to look back.
You ran, even though it was right.
You have a deep need to do it again. The rooms seems to be slowly suffocating you and you need to get out asap. You grab your dressing gown and slip some shoes over your feet before slipping out the door and into the dimly lit corridor. It’s a welcome quiet to the thoughts screaming in your head and you take a moment to take in the beauty of the place. It might only be a corridor, but it’s a damn pretty one.
With no destination in mind, you start to wander around the large hall. Eventually settling on a window seat right in the corner of the building. It looks out into the garden and the moonlight casts it in a fairytale like glow. It looks magical and you feel yourself calm down a little. Your heart rate goes back to normal and your breathing slows. Thats until you feel a presence beside you and the cushion your sat on dips as another joins you.
Pulling your gaze away from the window, they settle on a pajama clad Sweet Pea and your expressions softens.
“What do you want Pea?” You ask, the easiness of the nickname surprises the both of you.
“I woke up a while ago and couldn’t get back to sleep. I figured you were awake somewhere.” He shrugs, leaning his back against the window and you watch a shiver crawl up his spine at the cold.
“How do you know I wouldn’t be in my room?” You ask, turning your attention back to the sky.
“I dunno.” He shrugs. “But I remember after a while, if you couldn’t sleep you used to get up and wander.”
“Oh.” You say quietly and look back at him. “I never did that with you.”
“You did. Once when we first got together.” He replies.
“I don’t remember.”
“I do.” He shrugs. “Why do you think I used to wake up? I didn’t want you wandering the streets at night.”
“Thank you.” You say sincerely, looking him in the eye. He clears his throat and looks away.
“Its whatever.”
“Its not whatever Sweet Pea.” You say making him look at you. “Its really sweet.” He looks away as soon as you make eye contact and the two of you are left to sit in silence.
“Do you ever wish we never met?” You ask and he quickly looks at you.
“I er-” He stutters, unsure of what to say. Because he does, but even now he doesn’t want to hurt you.
“I do.” You reply and he feels himself shatter. The whole illusion that he’d built you up to be, what you’d be doing now that you’re no longer in his life has been broken.
“Thanks.” He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. A small pout makes its way to his lips and you roll your eyes at the sight of it.
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same.” You argue. “I saw the way you looked at me before. There was more regret in your eyes than there was when Fangs ate all of those out of date pies.”
“That was funny though.” Sweet Pea chuckles.
“Yeah.” You join in. “Up until the hospital visit.” You add and the two of you frown.
“You’re impossible to forget you know Sweet Pea.” You say out of nowhere and his eyebrows raise.
“You too Y/n.” He replies, sadness lacing his tone and the two of you both stare out into the garden.
“But I have to.” You stand suddenly and he looks at you confused.
“What?”
“We have to try and forget each other.”
“Y/n, our best friends are getting married. I’m the best man and you’re maid of honour. We’re always going to be in each other’s life. It’s going to be pretty impossible to forget each other.”
“Well, maybe if someone hadn’t have dumped me for no reason then we wouldn’t have to do all this awkward shit.” You snap, a years worth of feeling bubbling up to the surface.
You’ve had enough. He did this, he started it and now he doesn’t want to end it.
“Excuse me?” Sweet Pea asks, his voice raising as he also stands. “You’re the one that walked out.”
“Because you told me to! Whatever Sweet Pea. I’ll see you around.” You huff and storm off into the dark hallway. “And so hi to Cece for me.”
“Only if you say hi to Ryan for me.” He calls angrily after you.
He watches you walk away and curses himself for letting you do that again.
“Babe? Where have you been?” Ryan’s voice is groggy as he turns his head to face you.
“Do you love me?” You ask suddenly and slip into bed beside him. The moonlight still shines in through the curtains, but the glow it casts into the room is cold.
You know he doesn’t, he knows he doesn’t, but it doesn’t matter. You’d rather a sweet lie than a bitter reality. So he takes a deep breath, his hair falls into his face but you don’t bother moving it, not wanting to ruin the fabricated moment you’re desperately trying to believe in.
“I do, yeah.”
#sweet pea#sweet pea imagine#sweet pea x reader#sweet pea x you#sweet pea x y/n#riverdale#riverdale imagine
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I read more books this month than I anticipated. I should probably wait before doing a February book round up, but I already feel like I’m struggling to decide which ones to cut from my list so I’m doing it this weekend instead of next. If I read much next week I’ll bump ‘em up into March’s round up
Asterix and the Missing Scroll / Chieftain’s Daughter
I got the last two “new” Asterix books out of the library so I could officially say I had read them all. Over all my opinion is… they’re fine! None of these would ever become one of my favourites, but they’re all fine stories. The art is good, it is completely in-line with the original, and the stories are… fine. I liked The Missing Scroll quite a bit more than The Chieftain’s Daughter but I never find a ~hurr hurr teenagers~ plotline that interesting, whereas I do enjoy seeing Romans get chased down by unicorns so that’s probably not surprising. There’s some spark I can’t put my finger on that the new Asterix books just seem to be missing though… a bit of humour or cleverness or something. Still, they’re fine reads if you’ve been hungry for more Asterix and I’m glad I read them. (Though the library gave me the American translation of The Chieftain’s Daughter, something I didn’t realize until I started reading and realized that this is wrong??? I’ve been reading these books since I could read and I know this is wrong??? What the hell is happening??? The I realized the publisher was different and I simmered in fury the whole time I read it — WHY ARE YOU CHANGING NAMES AND WORD CHOICES IN A WELL ESTABLISHED SERIES THAT ALREADY HAS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION YOU ANIMALS WHY ARE YOU DUMBING DOWN THE LANGUAGE AAAUGH
The Bride Was A Boy
This one was cute! The Bride Was A Boy is an autobiographical manga written by a transwoman recounting her experience with transitioning, meeting her boyfriend, and eventually getting married. It’s mostly done in a 4-panel style and is interspersed with lots of information about the LGBT community, particularly in Japan. A lot of it was stuff I was already familiar with, but I still found it adorable and a very worthwhile read. it would be a fantastic book for young queer people who are looking for more of an introduction into international queer space
Cul de Sac: Children At Play
Cul de Sac is just a weird, fun newspaper comic series about the children who live in a small neighbourhood. It fully taps into the children-as-semi-feral-chaos-agents, and there’s something hilariously nostalgic about the whole thing. Lots of times when stories try to portray children there’s always something… wrong about it, something that doesn’t mesh with true childhood, but in this comic I can see glimpses of my grimy, dirty-covered self as a preschooler running around the pages. I would definitely recommend trying them!
The Cremation of Sam McGee
I reread The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew and man, they don’t stop being buckwild. These are two really famous Canadian poems that were then illustrated by equally famous Canadian artist Ted Harrison. Harrison’s style is gorgeous and distinct and given what strangely grisly stories these poems are they fit the mood perfectly. Everything feels just a little tilted and wrong and unsettling. If you enjoy an occasional poem (especially ones that are super fun to read out loud) and haven’t read these before, I would recommend them! Or do what my teachers did, and read Sam Gee to a young child in your life and watch them be baffled and concerned and horrified.
There are strange things done / in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold...
The Gryphon’s Lair
The second book of the Royal Guide to Monster Slaying series written by Kelley Armstrong; I’ve been eagerly awaiting this book! It’s a very cool fantasy series because it really leans into environmental stewardship and the importance of studying animals and conservation so you can find ways to live alongside a healthy ecosystem. In this book Rowan is officially accepted as the Royal Monster Hunter, which means a whole new set of trials and burdens. She has to contend with a baby gryphon that is becoming increasingly large and dangerous, plotting family members, doubt about her abilities, a potential curse, and a daunting quest deep into the mountains in order to set things right. If you’re looking for some very gentle high fantasy, this series delivers.
Hogan’s Heroes comics
What to say here. Anyone following this blog has suffered the knowledge that I’ve been rewatching Hogan’s Heroes lately. When I found out that there was a short-lived, shitty comic series in the 60s? Of course I had to hunt them down. And so I’ve read them! And they sure were a shitty comic series from the 60s! They were, shall we say, of wildly varying quality. Some were actually really funny (like #5, it easily had the best art and best jokes imho), others were a slog, and most were fine and amusing enough to read the whole way through but not much more.
If you don’t know what Hogan’s Heroes is about: it was a 1960s sitcom that took place in a WWII POW camp, in which the Allied prisoners trapped there had a massive, complex sabotage/spy ring right underneath the camp. The whole show is about constantly outwitting the bumbling Germans while keeping up the pretense that they’re all just normal prisoners. The show is hilariously funny and I would recommend that, even if I can’t say the same for the comics unless you’re like me and are just really thirsty for more content...
Magic Misfits: The Fourth Suit (Ripley)
The final book of Neil Patrick Harris’ middle grade series, The Magic Misfits. In this fourth book, the group is fragmented and forced to meet in secret to avoid notice from the mysterious and powerful Kalagan whose cruel machinations have already turned the quiet little town on its ears, putting people’s lives in peril and destroy Leila’s fathers’ magic shop. The Misfits are going to need all their skills to finally unmask this sinister magician and break the mesmerism he seems to have placed over the entire town before it’s too late to save no only the town, but their friendship and trust.
Super charming series, and the illustrations are gorgeous.
Marsupilami
HOUBA! I watched a very bad TV adaptation of this as a kid that still managed to find a place in my heart, and so I decided to finally try reading some of the original comic! On one hand: it was exactly what I had hoped! The art is cute, the marsupilami is so dynamic and fun to see on the page (and has a way better characterization than he does in the show), and it’s really funny! Unfortunately! It is also pretty racist! Yikes! That seems to be a reoccuring downfall for some of these older Belgian comics... I also tried reading the first book of Les Tuniques Bleues and aye ye ye… I couldn’t actually get through that one. That being said, these were older volumes and frankly, North American media was also real fucking racist at that point so I’m not gonna write them off either. I really liked most of this book, and will probably try to get my hands on one of the more recent volumes of both Marsupilami and Les Tuniques Bleues to see if they get better with time. (If you’ve read either of those series and have volume recommendations hmu)
The Pagemaster
I’m a sucker for novelizations, I have no excuse beyond that. I recently rewatched The Pagemaster and decided to read the chapter book. And it was a solid little adaptation! It’s about Richard Tyler, a young boy with a head for statistics which unfortunately means he lives in constant fear of (in his opinion, statistically likely) injury or death. However that fear is put to the test when he gets caught in a horrible thunderstorm and has to shelter in a nearby library with halls and shelves that stretch beyond the imagination and with untold perils hidden among the pages of the books. Richard, with only his library card and three novels that hope to be checked out, has to venture through the different genres and horrors housed int he library if he ever wants to find the exit and get home to safety.
Pumpkinheads
A very charming little graphic novel. Cute art, and really loveable characters. Josiah and Deja work every year at a local pumpkin patch, and are best friends during those weeks. However this is their last year working there before going off to university and as the last day at the patch comes to a close they realize that they both still have regrets. Deja sets off on a mission to avoid work, eat all the interesting snacks around the patch, and get Josiah to find the girl he’s been crushing on every year and has never worked up the nerve to talk to.
After being deprived of human contact for almost a year, this book really hits you right in the heart.
The Screwfly Solution
A deeply upsetting scifi/horror short story! I read it on the recommendation of a friend and, yes, can confirm that this fucked me up a bit. I honestly don’t even know what to say about this that wouldn’t spoil it, but frankly with everything being as it is, this hit a little bit too close to reality. (That being said, it was very well written, like this is a very good story on a literary level and it does exactly what it sets out to accomplish.) If you feel like reading twenty pages and being really disturbed, give it a go! Otherwise go and read any number of the much happier books on this list!
The Whipping Boy
This was a book I remember reading as a lit circle book back in elementary school and really loving. After telling myself I’d reread it for years, I finally sat down with it again. If you somehow got through school without reading this one, it’s about a brat of a prince and his whipping boy — since it would be unspeakable to strike a prince, when the prince misbehaves it is Jemmy who gets whipped. Unsurprisingly, there is no love lost between the two of them, because the prince is always intentionally causing problems that Jemmy has to suffer for. Things begin to change though when the prince decides to run away and drags Jemmy along with him. On the run, being chased by highwaymen, and desperately trying to hide their identities, these boys go on a fast-paced adventure beyond the castle walls. It wasn’t as special as I remembered it being as a kid, but it’s a fine little chapter book.
#book review#book reviews#canadian literature#canlit#queer lit#the boy was a bride#asterix#asterix and the missing scroll#asterix and the chieftain's daughter#neil patrick harris#magic misfits#the whipping boy#screwfly solution#pumpkinheads#marsupilami#hogan's heroes#dell comics#pagemaster#kelley armstrong#a royal guide to monster slaying#the gryphon's lair#ted harrison#the cremation of sam mcgee#chatter
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March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (Review)
Is “quaint” a good word here?
Maybe its the beautiful backgrounds, maybe it’s the stylized designs that make me think of Christmas specials, maybe it’s the faithful take on a classic story that I loved as a kid, but...I dunno. Quaint’s the first thing that comes to mind here for me, for whatever reason.
All I know is that I did enjoy this movie well-enough...even if it’s not my favorite. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a great story, and I do love the original Tolkien tale very much...but I don’t know if I can say this was my favorite adaptation or not.
Now, it got some things right that the Jackson movies didn’t, at last as far as I’m concerned. Thorin’s pretty good in this film, Gollum is great (as always), and it accurately sums up the story in a single movie without too much omitted (I do miss Beorn, though). But here’s the thing: the things that I think Jackson’s movies did wrong outnumber what this film did right.
You know, the weird addition of Tauriel and Legolas, the added Lake Town plot with fuckin’ Alfrid, the entire Azog thing, the fucking NECROMANCER thing, Rada...well, actually, I like Radagast. He was fun.
And that’s not to say that Jackson’s movies did nothing right. Quite the contrary! I mean, Martin Freeman is a PERFECT Bilbo Baggins, and basically everybody is perfectly cast, to be honest. And that includes what I think is the best part of the films: Smaug, as portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch. And yeah, that motion capture footage is hilarious, but it pays the fuck OFF, what can I tell ya? I mean...come on.
Smaug in these movies is fucking AMAZING, and I genuinely love him. And...well, you know what, let’s actually get into the Review. Enough navel-gazing here. Here’s the Recap (Parts 1, 2, and 3), if you’d like to read that first! OK, let’s get this done and Reviewed!
Review
Cast and Acting: 7/10
Given that this is an animated film, this is an interesting category to grade. I’ll be doing so based on their vocal performances, and...eh. For a Rankin-Bass movie, the vocal performances are a little standard. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some standouts. Orson Bean plays a kind and contemplative Bilbo, and while I don’t know that I like him quite as much as Martin Freeman, I do still like his performance. John Huston is likewise good as Gandalf, although Ian McKellen is...well, Ian McKellen, even in The Hobbit films. And then...there’s Brother Theodore. And, boy oh boy, do I love his Gollum a lot! I think he’s legitimately fantastic as this version of the character, and specifically as this version of the character. Andy Serkis is still the better Gollum, I think, but I do think that Theodore handles Gollum’s last line in this film better than Serkis did. However, I can see Serkis becoming the devious little monster he eventually becomes a lot more.
Also, Hans Conried plays Thorin, and all I could hear was Captain Hook, like, the entire time. There are actually a lot of voice actors from the time period in here, like Don Messick, Paul Frees, and Thurl Ravenscroft, and they’re all fine. There’s also Richard Boone as Smaug, and...he’s OK. Not saying he’s great, but...he’s all right. His deep booming voice does work well for the role, and some of his line deliveries are pretty goddamn solid, but...I dunno, he just doesn’t bring the same gravelly gravitas that I expect of, well, a goddamn dragon, let’s be frank here.
Plot and Writing: 9/10
What can I say? It’s Tolkien! And they’re pretty exact with their adaptation of the original work, as adapted and written by Romeo Muller. And yeah, Muller does a good job...but he also writes this similar to how he wrote all of the other Rank Bass specials. If there’s any problem, it’s that. But even then...I don’t know if I can call that a real problem. Still, I’ll take a point off for it, even though it’s really closer to half a point. If anything, I’m upset that Beorn was completely absent. You coulda worked him in, Romeo!
Directing and Cinematography: 7/10
This is essentially judging the storyboarding, and how shots were positioned in the artistic process. And yeah, it’s...mostly good. Unfortunately, true to form for Rankin-Bass production, it often feels just a little too stiff in places. Makes sense since Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass are the directors. Not as bad as some of their other productions, but still definitely a notable quality of the film. So, points off for that, but the rest of it is honestly fine, especially for animation of the era. What came out from Disney that year?
Oh, damn, the Rescuers? Yeah...shit, yeah, that looked WAY better, and that wasn’t even one of Disney’s best looking film up to that point. Although, different budgets should probably be taken into account. OK, moving on.
Production and Art Design: 8/10
I like the backgrounds in this film a LOT, lemme tell you. They were done by Minoru Nishida, who’s done a hell of a lot of animation stuff, but was also the art director for Kill Bill Vol 1! Neat! But yeah, the backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous here. How about the rest of the art design? Characters were designed by Lester Abrams, then redesigned a bit by the Topcraft guys (specifically Tsuguyuki Kubo), giving it the very stereotypical Rankin-Bass style that the movie is known for. And does it work? I mean...kinda. The good news is that the different races of Middle Earth are pretty goddamn distinguishable from each other, and creatively designed at that. The bad news...sorry, I never did get used to Smaug, I genuinely don’t like his design in this. Like...why the dog head? By all accounts, Smaug was a stereotypical wyrm-style dragon, with the reptilian features and I. I just...I don’t get it. Sorry, but Jackson’s Smaug wins here, hands down. But that said...I do like Gollum. It’s different, yeah, but I think his design works pretty well. After all, according to Tolkien, we’re not really supposed to know what Gollum is. And I think it works pretty goddamn well!
Music and Editing: 7/10
Glenn Yarbrough. I love ya. I SWEAR, I do actually like you and your main contribution to this movie, The Greatest Adventure. But if I have to hear that song ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME in this movie, I swear...because they chop up the song and use it in EVERY AVAILABLE INSTANCE with Bilbo. And I guess it’s his leitmotif, but they use that song...A LOT. And not instrumentally, I mean with the goddamn lyrics. Just...tone it down a little, OK? But OK, what about the other music, by Maury Laws? I like it! There are some songs in here that are very catchy, and I might actually get “Down, Down, to Goblin Town” on my playlist. Not that it’s all great, but it works for the setting and for the tone of the movie. And what about the editing? Eh. Visual editing is pretty good, bu7t the sound editing is...it’s 1970s animation editing. Hell, even the Rescuers sound editing wasn’t amazing, when I think about it. It’s fine, but it isn’t great most of the time.
Y’know...I think I can gel with a 76% here.
Yeah, I know, it’s low, but that’s because this movie was...good, but OK. I’m not necessarily saying that it was better or worse than the Jackson movies, because I think they compliment each other in some weird ways. I like Thorin as a character more here, but Smaug MUCH more in the Jackson films. While there definitely don’t need to be three Jackson movies...I’ll admit that I think this one is too short, coming in at only an hour and 18 minutes. And I gotta say, I love the fact that it’s animated...but the live-action films also look fantastic, I can never fault them for how they look (except for Dain...ugh). I think they’re similar, but different, at least for me.
But OK, here’s a question: is it just because it’s a property that I really like, and I have my own internal vision of it, which might be influenced by the live-action films? Entirely a possibility. Watch this movie yourself, make your own score! See what you think. Meanwhile, I’m going to try an experiment.
Fantasy movie, same production company, same directors, same animators, also based off of a fantasy book. And, uh...I dunno, a unicorn, maybe?
March 2, 2021: The Last Unicorn (1982)
#the hobbit#the hobbit 1977#j.r.r. tolkien#rankin-bass#rankin bass#orson bean#bilbo baggins#hans conried#thorin oakenshield#john huston#gandalf#otto preminger#cyril ritchard#glenn yarbrough#fantasy march#user365#365 movie challenge#365 movies 365 days#365 Days 365 Movies#365 movies a year#userakaysa
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Nonnie, this is quite possibly one of the funniest prompts I’ve ever received. I actually, legitimately laughed out loud when I read it, and I definitely had to find the original post to read it all. Not gonna lie, I’m totally rooting for that poor girl.
I hope you enjoy this version of such a crazy little tale 😘
on ao3 | here | if that’s more your style
-/-
Her back is absolutely killing her. There are bones in positions they are definitely not supposed to be in, and she has to wonder where the hell David and Mary Margaret got their couch. Emma secretly thinks that when she asked them if she could come stay with them for a few weeks – days, weeks, months, who the hell knows at this point – they got rid of their old couch and replaced it with one that they found on the side of the road that’s full of extra springs and the smallest amount of cushion stuffing on the planet.
David and Mary Margaret are too full of kindness to do something like that, but she knows that if her sister – if she had one obviously – called and said she lost her job and her apartment and needed a place to crash for a little while, she would definitely make the stay as uncomfortable as possible.
If the couch crasher isn’t comfortable, it means they won’t stay as long, right?
It’s July, and she’s been on their couch since the end of April. So much for that theory, obviously. But hey, at least she’s not stuck still living with Neal because if she had to sleep in the same apartment as her cheating douchebag of an ex, there is no guarantee that she wouldn’t murder him in his sleep.
Small blessings and all.
Emma raises her arms above her head and interlaces her hands together, stretching her body out and loosening up her limbs, before she moves her legs and starts running. She’s never been much of a runner. She always thought it was some kind of voluntary torture. Back in Boston, she had a kickboxing gym she went to every day, but there’s not one of those in Storybrooke. There’s one gym here, and it’s got out of date equipment that definitely aren’t cleaned every day. There’s no way she’d ever pay for that when she’s already short on cash to begin with.
So running on the beach it is, even if it makes her calves feel like they are legitimately on fire.
There’s no one on the beach this morning. Sometimes tourists will get here early and mark their space with their chairs and their umbrellas, but today, it’s blissfully empty so that she can run up and down the sand without being bothered. Music blares through her headphones, and it propels her forward every time that she wants to quit. She’s never been one to want to stare at the ocean and soak in its beauty. It’s never calmed her, but now, when her days are spent going between having a bad back, serving drinks to people who don’t know how to tip, and wondering if her life is always going to suck this much, she thinks that the ocean isn’t that bad.
It’s calm and beautiful, and right now, it’s as blue as the…what the fuck?
Emma stops jogging, sand kicking up around her, and her breath escapes her as she squints and looks out onto the ocean past the pier.
Is there…is there someone out there?
About forty, fifty feet out in the water, there’s some kind of floating figure. She can’t really tell from here, but it looks like there’s a man floating on his back, his head tilted backward.
Oh shit.
This area has been full of scuba divers this summer, but they’re usually in groups and only go in the afternoon with some kind of instructor. This guy – or girl, she can’t really tell right now because she doesn’t have her contacts in and can’t see that far away – must have been a dumbass and gone on his own.
Her stomach is heavy, like it’s full of wet sand, and when she looks around, she’s reminded that there’s no one around.
Shit, shit, shit.
This isn’t what she’s trained to do. She’s not even technically trained to do anything. She’s only really ever worked in food service besides her boring as hell office job in Boston, and none of that would have ever prepared her for something like this.
“Oh, what the hell?” Emma mumbles to herself as she pulls her tank top off before tugging her leggings down, kicking them off with her socks and shoes. She drops her phone and her headphones into her shoes. She’s in nothing but a sports bra and a pair of underwear that literally has little animated penises on it from Mary Margaret’s bachelorette party, but that doesn’t really matter when this guy (girl) might be dying.
The water is cold when she first dives in, and salt gets up her nose so that her throat is itching, but she manages to swim out to the water as quickly as possible. Now that she’s closer, she can see that it’s definitely a man, and Emma closes her eyes as she closes the final strides and reaches for him.
When she opens them, he is staring directly at her, blue eyes blown wide in what she can only assume is confusion.
So, he’s not dead. That’s good to know.
“Are you okay?” Emma blurts out, salt water still in her mouth that she hacks up.
The guy nods and slowly removes his regulator and his mask. One eyebrow raises before they both furrow together. “Aye.”
Great. He thinks she’s a lunatic. She probably is.
She just tried to save a man from drowning when he wasn’t actually drowning.
This is all Mary Margaret and David’s fault because they own the most uncomfortable couch in existence, and she obviously is suffering from poor decision making because of a lack of sleep.
“I thought you were dead!” Emma explains as she starts treading water and hopes that a shark doesn’t show up any time soon. That would really be the cherry on top of her day. “But you’re obviously not dead.”
“No, love, I don’t think I am.”
“What’s going on here?”
Emma stops treading and dips under the water before she rises back up and sees another guy floating a few feet away. As she looks around more and more keep popping up, all of them deadly silent, and if she had any air in her lungs right now, she would scream.
What the hell has she just walked…swam into?
And then, when she comes to her senses, she realizes that they’re all laughing at her.
The bunch of assholes.
(She probably deserves their laughter, but she won’t admit to that.)
“Alright, alright,” the non-dead guy says, raising his hand in the air, “leave the lady alone. She is a real savior, okay?” He flashes her a pearly white smile and nods back to the shore. “Do you want to go back and get away from these assholes?”
What she’d like to do right now is drown, but there seems to be none of that going around today.
“Yeah, I would. I don’t need you to take me back though.”
“Good because I’m not going to. I’m simply going to happen to be swimming to the shore at the same time that you do.”
Emma nods and then turns around and starts swimming back. He stays at her heels while his friends whistle out words she’s ignoring behind them, and while Emma considers herself to be in good shape, she is not a swimmer. The adrenaline from her run and from her not-so-daring rescue are wearing off, and she can feel her breathing getting heavier and heavier. Is the shore getting further away? That would be impossible.
“You’re so lucky you weren’t actually dying back there because there was no way I was going to be able to drag your sorry ass back to shore.” He chuckles, and she cuts her eyes back at him. “I’m glad you find this funny.”
“I find this hysterical, love. You need a tug to shore?”
She does, but there’s no way in hell that she’s going to accept that.
“Absolutely not.”
Eventually, after what feels like ages, she steps foot on solid, if sandy, ground, and the early morning air nips at her skin as she emerges from the water. She tries to shake it off while walking toward her clothes, but she knows that there’s no way that she could possibly get her leggings back on.
That would be torture of an entirely different kind.
Holy shit. She’s wearing underwear with cartoon dicks on them.
This day could not get any worse.
Except when she turns around, she sees the guy stripping out of his gear, only the wetsuit left on, and this is the first time she gets a really good luck at him. He’s trim, like he spends a heck of a lot more time swimming than she does, and he’s got dark stubble across his jaw that she imagines would feel fantastic brushing against her skin. His eyes also seem to be bluer now, and she definitely didn’t think that was possible.
Okay, so maybe her day could get worse.
Or a little better.
Then she watches his eyes tail down her body, just for a moment, but it’s long enough that she knows that he’s noticed her unfortunate choice in underwear.
“So, do you go about saving people every morning or is this just a one-time thing?”
“Definitely a one-time thing since all of my effort was apparently useless.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. That’s the most entertainment me and the boys have had in weeks. I don’t think we’re going to forget about this for a long time.”
Emma nods and bends down to get her tank top. She pulls it over, and it immediately clings to her skin. So much for getting a little coverage. “You lead that boring of a life then? All diving all the time?”
“Lately, yeah.”
“Is that so?”
He shakes his hair out and runs his fingers through his locks, and she is not distracted by that at all.
(She is definitely not thinking about the fact that she hasn’t had sex in several months.)
(She just embarrassed the hell out of herself in front of him, so that shouldn’t even be a though going through her mind.)
(Even if these were normal circumstances, that wouldn’t be a thought that went through her mind this early in the morning.)
“We’re training for diving school for the Navy,” he explains. “We’ve got a few weeks off that we’re spending up here for the incredible diving spots, but then we’ll be in Florida for four months.”
“Well, I hope you won’t need any saving while you’re there.”
“It won’t be you, so I’m not sure that it’d be quite as enjoyable.” Emma rolls her eyes, and she has to try her hardest not to let herself smile. That was a bad line. She will not smile at it. “Killian Jones, by the way. And you are?”
“Emma Swan.” She reaches out to take his hand to shake, but instead, he pulls it up and brushes his lips across the back of her hand, never breaking eye contact.
“It’s nice to meet you, Swan. You wouldn’t happen to know a good spot around here to get a beer, would you?”
Emma looks down at her feet, kicking them in the sand, before she raises her head and smiles. He’s flirting with her. She just embarrassed the hell out of herself, interrupted a military training exercise, and he’s flirting with her.
What’s wrong with him?
“I actually work at the Crab Shack down by the pier. Don’t let the name fool you. There is only a small possibility that you’ll get crabs if you shack up while there.”
Okay, what is wrong with her?
Killian cocks his head to the side and chuckles as a water droplet falls from his hair and streaks down his face. Why is that so distracting? “I’ll see if the boys and I can stop by tonight. You know, to celebrate the woman who saved me.”
“Alright, alright,” Emma laughs, holding her hands up and bowing her head. “I get it. I’m never going to live this down.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
-/-
David and Mary Margaret are both at work when she gets home, so she thankfully doesn’t have to explain her appearance. Her heart is still racing and her clothes are still soaking wet. Her leggings were pretty much impossible to get on, so she walked through the streets of Storybrooke in nothing but sneakers, a tank top, and dick-covered underwear. She takes a shower and tries to wash away the embarrassment of the morning. She never thought that she was one to embarrass easily, but she guesses that was not some kind of normal situation.
Why is she such an idiot?
Is this just a new low point in her life?
She’s not working until after lunch, and while she would usually take this time to clean up around the loft to show her appreciation for David and Mary Margaret for letting her crash here, she doesn’t do that. Instead, she spends a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide what to wear to work, like she’s not going to wear her regular cut-offs and a tank top. That’s exactly what she puts on, and if she decides to add a lacy bralette, well, that’s just because all of her other bras need to be washed.
Eventually, she heads to work, clocks in, and starts helping to serve the few tables and the people at the bar. It’s pretty slow, though, and when there’s only one guy in a booth in the corner, she tells Ruby about her morning.
Considering Ruby literally starts choking from laughing so much, Emma thinks maybe that wasn’t her best idea.
“You were wearing the underwear from Marg’s bachelorette party?”
“It was clean! I have to do laundry!”
“This is the best thing to ever happen to me,” Ruby laughs, leaning forward and resting her face on the countertop before she pops back up with wide eye and a wolfish smirk. “Wait. Did you say that he’s coming here tonight?”
“Mhm.”
“Is that why you have on mascara?”
“I wear makeup sometimes.”
“Rarely.” Ruby places her hands on her hips, and okay, maybe she definitely shouldn’t have told Ruby. She probably wouldn’t have noticed the Navy guys coming in. “Oh, is he cute? Are you going to sleep with him? Is that what’s up with you looking slightly put together. Emma Swan, have you gone and found yourself a man in the most ridiculous way possible?”
“I am not going to sleep with him.” Ruby raises her brows and then winks, and all Emma can do is shake her head. “He’s in the Navy. He’s about to go to Florida for four months and then who knows where? What would even be the point?”
“That sounds like the perfect excuse to sleep with him. There are no strings attached, and I’m sure he knows that too. I mean, you’ve got to get over that douche eventually. Why not do it with a hot guy who is going to leave, no strings attached?”
She’s only known Ruby from when she’s come to visit David, but they’ve managed to be pretty close friends over the last few months. Ruby is fearless and crass, and there’s never anything holding her back. Emma often wishes she was like that.
The girl is right, unfortunately, not that Emma would admit that to her. She would never shut up about it.
“He’s probably not even going to show, Rubes.”
-/-
He shows.
His entire crew doesn’t. It’s just him and two guys named Robin and Will, and they all settle down at a booth, ordering burgers and drinks and taking the piss out of her every time she brings them something. Will is the main culprit, and she’s pretty sure that he’s the one who scared the shit out of her earlier by silently popping up out of nowhere.
It’s weird seeing them all out of their gear and in their civilian clothes. Killian is in a pair of dark jeans that hug his legs – not that she was staring or anything – and a short-sleeved gray t-shirt. A tattoo peaks out underneath his sleeve, and she’s curious as to what it is.
She’s not going to sleep with him, though. That’s not…that’s not happening.
“So, I have to ask,” Ruby says after Emma’s been chatting with them on and off for an hour, “did you manage to get a good look at the panties this girl had on earlier?”
“I’m afraid I didn’t, love,” Killian tells Ruby before looking at Emma and winking.
Oh, she might be in trouble if he’s going to do things like that..
“Really?” Ruby asks, disappointed.
“I’m afraid that I was too busy being thankful to be saved to pay any attention to what my savior was wearing.”
“I call bullshit on that, but whatever. You really missed out too. They were the greatest pair of panties in existence.”
Little by little, the bar fills up with people, mostly tourists, but a few locals come in. Will and Robin start talking with a few guys they happen to know, but Killian comes to sit at the bar across from her where she learns that he’s originally from California but that his dad was in the military growing up and they moved around a lot. His mom was British, and they spent the majority of his early years in England, which explains the slight accent, and he has an older brother who lives in Denmark with his wife. At twenty-four, he’s only three years older than her, and he says that he got a bit of a late start to being in the Navy, messing around too much and not knowing what the hell it is he wanted to do with his life.
Emma gets that more than he could probably ever know. She’s literally sleeping on her brother’s couch and working in a place called the Crab Shack.
They don’t even sell crab most days.
He gives as good as he gets with being teased, and she finds that he’s always quick to give back an insult or a jab whenever one comes from Ruby or from his friends.
Or from her.
It’s easy talking to him, laughing and sharing a drink and some fries, and as the night goes on, it’s even easier to forget that she hasn’t flirted since Neal and that the man smiling across from her was the witness to one of the most embarrassing moments of her life.
Killian kisses her against the wall in the hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and the storage closets. It’s dark, the music from the bar dimmed, and the only thing she can focus on is the warmth of his mouth and the expert sweep of his tongue as chills scatter across her body before warming her everywhere, from her toes to her cheeks but especially in the pit of her belly. She hasn’t been kissed like that in quite some time, if not ever, and getting lost in it is as easy as anything she’s ever done.
She doesn’t sleep with him, though.
She desperately wants to, aches for it really, but he mutters something about being a gentleman, which she protests against, but he reassures her that he is, indeed, always a gentleman.
Making out with her in the hallway of a bar doesn’t really allow that theory to hold up, but she guesses he’s going to play the gentleman card.
He promises he’ll be back, though, asking her if she’s working tomorrow, and when she says yes, he kisses her again and then walks out the door.
-/-
Killian comes back the next day.
And the next.
And the one after that.
And then he asks if he can see her outside of work, take her on a proper date or something, and the only reason Emma says yes is because she knows this is temporary. He’s going to leave soon, so it’s okay for her to get to know him and laugh with him and make out with him in the backseat of her car until her lips are kiss-swollen and every part of her is flushed.
It’s okay for her to get to know how he likes his burgers and what his favorite drink is and that the tattoo on his arm is in honor of his mom who passed away five years ago. She learns more about his brother and his apparently shitty dad, just as she tells him about David who he apparently had some kind of run-in with on his first night in town, and little by little, she starts to know all of these pieces of this man she never should have met.
If she were a romantic, Emma would say that this is like something out of a movie, a summer romance that passes by in montages full of laughter and good times. She’s not a romantic, though. She knows that this is the real world where things don’t work out like that, but even so, the weeks pass by, and when she goes to bed at night, she finds herself thinking of blue eyes and a kind but mischievous smile.
Oh.
Oh, okay. Maybe she’s gotten herself in too deep of waters without knowing the way out, and this time, there’s not going to be some idiot running along the beach who dives out into the ocean to save her.
Despite her thoughts starting to attack her, her heart aching even when she tells it to stop, she continues to see him whenever she can. And a week before he leaves, they manage to find a time when no one is home but the two of them, and while she doesn’t intend for it go that far, once his lips brush across her neck and liquid heat blazes over her skin, there’s no stopping them as they shed their clothes.
“No dick-covered underwear today, love?” Killian whispers against her bare stomach as he kisses her in such a way that her stomach ripples.
“I’m afraid those have been retired.”
“A pity that.”
They don’t talk much for the next few minutes, not more than curses and instructions and repetitive words of pleasure, and as her heart races while Killian drives her absolutely mad with his movements, it also aches, the ticking time bomb she wants liked suddenly something she’s dreading.
She likes him.
Honestly, truly likes him.
He’s kind and funny and has a mouth on him that matches hers in curses and in banter. He asks her about her day and listens to her when she talks, which Neal nearly never did, and while she finds that what’s between them is physical, there’s something more underneath the surface, so damn close to breaking through.
When he leaves, she doesn’t want to say goodbye. She’s never been particularly good at those, but Killian still comes to the bar, sits with her at the counter likes it’s not his last day, and when he has to go, he takes her hand and pulls her outside, the wind whipping around them and the smell of salt permeating the air.
“There’s not a day will go by I won’t think of you.”
Emma nearly makes some kind of sarcastic quip, but instead she leans up on her toes and slowly glides her lips over his, savoring the softness and undeniable warmth of them one last time.
“Good.”
-/-
Emma wakes to a text the next morning.
KJ: So, I have some time off in January. Do you think I could take you to dinner?
ES: I think that could be arranged. I don’t know if I’ll recognize you all bundled up to live through Maine’s winter weather.
KJ: I’ll bring a red rose, just in case.
Emma rolls over on the couch and buries her smile in her pillow.
ES: I am looking forward to it.
-/-
Emma sees Killian for the first time – FaceTime not included – on January third, four months and a week after they said goodbye. He’s standing outside her apartment – one she shares with Ruby, each of them with their own, actual bedrooms – dressed in his Naval dress uniform with a red rose in his hand.
His hair is shorter, his usual stubble a little bit more trimmed, his skin tanned, and even with his uniform, she can see that his shoulders are broader than they were this summer.
“Hi,” Emma whispers. She thought she was yelling it, but it definitely only came out as a whisper. “You’re not supposed to be here until tomorrow.”
He cocks his head to the side, smile bright, and God, she has missed that smile. “Ah, well, you see, I had an opportunity to see the woman I love one day sooner, and there was no way in hell I was going to pass up that opportunity.”
“The woman you love, huh?”
“Aye.” He steps closer, and it takes everything in Emma not to tackle him to the ground. “She’s this fiery lass who is beyond brilliant and witty. And, I’ll have you know, that she is so brave that she’ll dive into the ocean to save a drowning man. Would you happen to know anyone like that?”
Emma rolls her eyes and closes the distance between them. It was once 1,500 miles (she may have looked it up), but that is no longer. And it feels damn good. “I might have an idea where you can find her.”
“Good,” he says, her own word from so long ago echoing back to her, before pressing his lips to hers in a deep, slow kiss that feels like it never stopped.
She has never been so thankful for David’s shitty couch and how it inadvertently led her to this.
#the one where emma goes underwater#cs prompts#cs fic#cs ff#cs fanfic#captain swan fic#captain swan ff#captain swan fanfic#Captain Swan
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cumulonimbus ix
Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Harry Potter, Sirius Black x Remus Lupin, Hermione Granger x Ron Weasley
Summary: When asked about how Harry's life got turned upside down he's going to blame a Farrah Fawcett poster, a second magical diary, and Draco Malfoy in that order.
Word Count: 1873
[Part One: Mid Day] Part Two: July 2nd, 1998: Early Morning
It’s well past midnight and Harry is still loitering in Sirius’ old bedroom; the dinner Kreacher placed on the nightstand has been left cold and untouched. Instead of eating like a normal functioning adult, Harry decided to stare at the ceiling. The face of Farrah Fawcett and her red swimsuit still beaming down at him as dusk fell into night. He’s not quite sure why he’s just sitting here… staring at the pearly white smile of the blonde bombshell above him. Maybe if he stares long enough he’ll find some divine intervention on what the hell he’s supposed to be doing. It’s only been a few months since the battle of Hogwarts, and Harry feels as if he’s running out of time. He always feels like he’s running out of time. As if he’s late for something important, or there's a deadline that’s just a few days away, but for once in Harry's life he doesn’t. He has absolutely nothing to do.
“Except clean this bloody house” he says to two dimensional Farah, as if she’ll respond to his complaints. Harry groans, running his calloused hands over his sticky face, dried sweat clogging his pores. The result of hours of grueling labor stains him. It’s something he should be used to by now but isn’t, and probably never will. After staring at the American actress some more he’s come to the conclusion that he’s completely mad. It’s the only explanation really. Why else would he decide cleaning up this mansion, alone, was a good idea? Why did he think breaking up with Ginny was a good idea? Why did he think that when the moonlight hit Farrah’s hair in just the right way it reminded him of...
Yep. Definitely madness. A one way ticket to the Janus Thickey ward if it pleases the court. Harry flipped over on the bed to bury his face in the dusty satin pillow, anything to not stare at the Hollywood starlet again. When Harry thought about it, it makes sense that madness would take him in the end. You don’t survive the killing curse twice without it screwing something up inside. He could see The Daily Prophet headline now: “THE CHOSEN CRAZY ONE!”
No, Rita would definitely come up with something more clever. “THE BOY WHO WENT OFF HIS ROCKER: THE TELLING TALE OF HARRY POTTER’S QUICK DESCENT TO INSANITY!” That sounds better, more Rita.
Harry supposes he’s had a good run of it all. Nearly eighteen years old, a war hero, wealthy beyond his needs, half a virgin. It’s been a life. Better to be done in by an army of dust bunnies and outdated aristocratic decor than Voldemort. At least now it’s quiet, he can let his mind slowly slip away into the unknown without the stress of his friends and loved ones getting hurt. Maybe he should eat the dinner Kreacher left, at least it’ll be something else to do.
Harry accios his wand that fell to the floor at some point in the evening and heats up his kidney pie. He eats it slowly, trying to forgive its mushy texture and cold bits. He’s never been that good at cooking spells. Harry begins to take inventory of the room as he eats. Sirius’ style in decor was much better than the rest of his family, especially considering it was decades out of fashion. One solid wooden king size sleigh bed that Harry was currently sitting on, with Gryffindor red sheets gently stretched across it. A bookshelf to his left filled to the brim with old Hogwarts textbooks and muggle literature with the covers removed. A large wooden nightstand to his right with a few girlie magazines stuffed inside the drawer, something Harry refused to touch in fear of them being much more solid than magazines ought to be. In front of him was a window that was charmed to display a dense forest at all times, with large thick black curtains that shrouded the room in darkness when closed. On the other side of the room laid a desk with an antique stationary set resting on top, and a yellow record player beside it. The walls were covered with pictures and posters like the marvelous Miss. Fawcett, splattered around with no rhyme or reason, and shelves to display a fantastic classic rock record collection. It looked like a muggle teenage boy’s room, and that’s just how Sirius liked it.
Every part of this room screamed Sirius Orion Black, and that just made Harry miss him that much more. He wished his godfather was here to help him renovate the house, but he knew that would never happen. One thing Harry knew for sure was that he was going to keep this room exactly as it was, a time capsule of Sirius’ youth. Deep down he knew that his godfather would appreciate it, even if he’d never admit it if he was here.
Harry sighed as he placed the half eaten kidney pie on the nightstand, too exhausted to finish it. He laid back down to stare at Farrah some more, he understood why she was so popular in her day. Her smile was bright and beautiful, and people tend to like bright and beautiful things. Harry didn’t see a lot of that in his life, and now he can say he finally has. A bright and beautiful... poster. Yes, undeniably mad.
Harry slammed his fist on the wall behind him with a groan. Stupid Farrah, stupid Hermione, stupid Sirius. He could be doing so much with his life but he’s just sitting here! Harry got up and began to pace around the room. Shouldn’t he be thinking about his future? Shouldn’t he begin thinking about a career? Dating? Getting a life? And why does all of that sound so much more monumental than fighting a facist overlord? He wants to do nothing, but needs to do something. The contradictions of his life were wearing on his psyche and he just... needs. He has this major need deep within himself and he doesn’t know what to do with it all.
Harry could feel his magic begin to overwhelm him, a feeling he hasn’t had since he was eleven and could barely control his magic. Before he knew it books were flying off the shelves and Farrah had fallen off her post. When Harry opened his eyes to see the mess he created he slumped with exhaustion.
“Great more bloody mess” Harry said to himself. He began to levitate the books to their rightful place, making sure they weren’t out of order. He noticed Farrah was lying limply against the wall as if she was as tired as Harry was. Madness . When he went to pick her up Harry saw a loose floorboard at his feet.
“Think there’s something underneath it Farrah?” as per usual, Farrah didn’t respond. Harry levitated her back to the ceiling where she belonged with a sticking charm, and went to work on the floorboard. The corner of the dark wood lifted up at the edge, and squeaked when Harry put pressure on it. After some finagling the board finally gave way. Inside was a large cigar box, an old crown royal bag, and small metal tin. Harry decided to check out the tin first, he blew off the dust and pried the rusty hinges apart. Inside were a pack of matches from a place called The Beaver Dam and some joints. Harry went to smell one of them and it nearly disintegrated in his hands.
“Better off. ‘ Mione would kill me anyway,” he thought to himself. He could almost hear her commanding voice now: “Do you know what drugs could do to your brain Harry? It can affect your memory, your lungs, your libido! Marijuana just makes you okay with being bored and that’s not good for your mental health either!” A walking D.A.R.E program that one. Harry could remember back in sixth year when she caught a couple of Hufflepuffs hotboxing the greenhouse. Hermione went on and on about how it could damage school property, or damage their bodies, or worse get them expelled. Harry himself was too obsessed with watching Malfoy’s name on The Marauder’s Map to listen to her speech. His mates gave him endless flack for it, but he turned out to be right in the end.10 points to Gryffindor.
Harry opened up the crown royal bag next. Inside was an array of seemingly meaningless knick knacks: a mood ring, an old coke bottle cap, an empty carton of clove cigarettes, and a plain brown tie. Harry was curious about why Sirius decided to put in the effort to hide this pile of junk. It all seemed harmless enough, but knowing Sirius each item probably had their unique own story to tell; the sentimental oaf.
The cigar box was the last item hidden away under the floorboard. The box itself wasn’t that magnificent, it was a faded yellow wood with the King Edward Tobacco logo imprinted on the top with the royal crest repeatedly stamped along the borders. When Harry opened the box his stomach plummeted to the floor. Inside this innocuous box was an old leather diary, reminiscent of the one that made his life hell in second year. Harry immediately shut the box and tossed it across the room, begging his heart to stop hammering in his chest.
“It’s just a diary. Not every diary is a trojan horse attempting to kill you. Sirius would never keep a cursed item in his bedroom. Just breathe.” Harry repeated to himself. He found himself staring at Farrah once again, breathing slowly as his heart rate returned to normal. Her once brilliant smile appeared to be mocking him, panicking over a silly little diary, such a childish thing to do. Harry steeled himself once again, he wasn’t going to let some dusty book get the best of him. He defeated the darkest wizard of the century at seventeen. Dust bunnies were one thing, but a dumb diary? Harry refused to be bested by this nonsense. He stood up from his fetal position on the floor, puffed up his chest, and stalked towards the worn tobacco box.
“Nothing to worry about, just an old diary” Harry said as he opened up the box, pretending that his hands weren’t shaking as he did. As he held the well loved leather diary in his hands, Harry questioned whether or not he should open it. This could easily be Sirius’ diary, and that would be a major invasion of privacy. Downright disrespectful. What kind of godson would he be if he just nosied his way through all of Sirius’ belongings? Nothing cowardly about respecting boundaries.
“Scared Potter?”
Harry flinched as a certain blonde haired git’s voice buzzed in his head. He was not scared. He could read this diary if he chose to. No problem with it all. In fact he was going to sit down and read the entirety of this diary… tomorrow.
Harry hastily placed the diary on the nightstand and fled out of the bedroom towards his own. He was in desperate need of sleep if he was hearing that voice in his head.
#sirius black x remus lupin#draco malfoy x harry potter#hermione x ron#wolfstar#wolfstar fanfic#wolfstar fanfiction#wolfstar fic#drarry#drarry fanfic#drarry fanfiction#drarry fic#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fic#draco malfoy fanfiction#draco malfoy fanfic#draco fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter fanfic#harry potter fic#sirius black#remus lupin#draco malfoy#Harry Potter#hermione granger#ron weasley#fanfiction
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Love Blooms
Summary: Princess Emma and Lieutenant Killian Jones have been together for three years. They’re deeply in love and an engagement is imminent. There’s only one problem: His brother doesn’t know about them, and Killian isn’t sure how to tell him. So when Liam finds out by accident, all that’s left is for Emma and Killian to fill him in on the story of how they met.
This is that story.
(a prequel--and sequel--to Error 404: “Little” Brother Not Found)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @mariakov81!!! My lovely, brilliantly talented Masha, you are a pure delight. Your gif responses make me laugh and your art makes me cry. Your enthusiasm and love of fic is so inspiring and your encouragement is one of the reasons I’m still writing. I love you lots. 😘
You mentioned that you’d like to read a meet-cute, so I hope this one pleases you. Have a FANTASTIC day ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Rating: G Words: 4.3k Tags: Lieutenant Duckling, Modern Lieutenant Duckling, Modern Royalty AU, Brothers Jones, College AU, Meet-Cute
On AO3
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Love Blooms:
It should have worked, really. As risky plans go, it was a pretty solid one. It should absolutely have worked.
Princess Emma was easily recognisable, of course. As the only royal child and heir to the throne she’d been photographed extensively all her life, and those photos disseminated throughout the kingdom. But they were always taken in controlled situations, with her hair carefully styled and her clothing precisely engineered to invoke a very specific image. Her parents made absolutely certain of that.
After the attempted coup by the queen’s stepmother on the day of the princess’s birth, the king and queen had taken decisive action to protect their only child and to ensure that no one but trusted personnel had access to her. On the rare occasions when she left the expansive palace grounds, no paparazzi followed her and none of Misthaven’s citizens so much as snuck a sneaky pic with a cell phone. Emma was to have protection and privacy until she came of age and officially took on her royal duties. That was the deal her parents made with the press and the people, and they enforced it rigidly.
It should have worked. Emma’s most recognisable feature—her long, bright gold hair—was dyed a temporary dirty blonde (her mother nearly cried) and her green eyes shielded by large glasses. Most days she pulled her hair back in a ponytail and wore no makeup. She dressed in jeans and t-shirts, like any other college kid. It was a good plan. It should have worked.
She hadn’t reckoned on Killian Jones.
She’d known him for a few years, sort of. For several months of the summer she was sixteen while his brother served as a member of her personal guard, Killian had hovered around the edges of her world, thin and gawky and usually with his nose in a book. The one time they were introduced he’d gulped visibly and made an awkward bow, then got away as soon as he could. But not before he’d made an impression.
She wasn’t sure what it was about him that caught her eye—possibly the way he seemed to be trying so hard not to catch it, or the size and variety of the books she saw him reading, or the way he would smirk and roll his eyes whenever he heard something he thought inane (which happened fairly frequently; polite conversation at court was not exactly scintillating). Possibly it was just those eyes, the bright, clear blue of them and the intelligence and humour she was sure she detected in their depths. Whatever it was it made butterflies dance in her belly whenever she saw him, and though they exchanged no more than a dozen words in the months he was at court she couldn’t seem to get him out of her head.
“What does your brother do?” she’d asked Commander Jones one afternoon, as casually as she could.
“He’s starting at the university in the autumn,” the commander replied, pride audible in his voice. “Going to study physics and engineering.”
“Wow.” Emma wished she didn’t find that so impressive.
“He’s a smart lad,” said Commander Jones with a grin. “He’ll change the world, mark my words.”
Emma marked them, though she asked no further questions. It wouldn’t do to appear too interested.
That was August. By October Killian Jones was gone from her life and so was his brother, the elder Jones off to serve on Misthaven’s flagship and the younger of course, to the university. And that really should have been the end of it.
Her desire to go to university herself had nothing to do with Killian, it truly didn’t. She hadn’t forgotten he was there, exactly, but her determination to attend had far more to do with her status as heir to the throne and wishing to be as prepared as she possibly could be when she became queen.
“But your tutors have given you the best education you could have,” her mother pointed out. “You’ve studied the history and political structure of Misthaven and all its allies and enemies. You’ve read all our country’s great books and know the history of our art. You speak six languages. That’s far more knowledge than I had when I became queen. What else are you looking for?”
“I want a chance to get to know the people I’m going to be ruling,” said Emma. “That’s one thing you had that I don’t. I’ve spent my whole life in the palace, and I know you kept me here for my own safety but I’m nineteen now and I want to meet people. Real ones. Ones who don’t know I’m the princess.”
“Emma—”
“Just give me a year,” she pleaded. “Just a year to go to college and live like a normal student. I’ll wear a disguise and go by a different name, you can even plant guards around me if you must but please, please just let me do this.”
In the end her parents relented. Her mother, despite her tears at the new hair colour, had been unconvinced that the small changes Emma made to her appearance would be enough of a disguise, but Emma insisted they were plenty and her father backed her up.
“Do you know why no one figured out Clark Kent was Superman?” Emma asked, as King David nodded approvingly behind her. “It wasn’t because putting on glasses was such an intricate disguise. It’s because the idea of Superman working at a newspaper was so completely absurd. No one saw a superhero in an ordinary reporter and no one’s going to see the princess of the realm in an ordinary literature major. People see what they expect to see.”
And they had. All of them. All except Killian Jones.
She really hadn’t reckoned on him.
She settled in well to college life, though it was not the easiest transition going from her own suite of rooms in the palace to a tiny dorm shared with another student, a bright, chatty girl called Ruby. Ruby was easygoing and outgoing and always going. She loved to party and whenever she went out tried to coax Emma along as well, and though Emma really had gone to college with the intent to study, she reasoned that her main aim in being there was to get to know her people, and what better way to do that than at a party?
Which is how she found herself two weeks into her first semester standing in the living room of a run-down student house, sipping valiantly at some locally-brewed ale and trying to remember the names of all the people Ruby introduced her to, and trying to remember that when they said ‘Anna,’ they were talking to her.
She was chatting with a boy called Walsh who had a supercilious smile and, she soon realised, a very high opinion of himself, when her flagging attention was caught by shrieks of laughter coming from the other side of the room. She glanced over in search of their source then immediately looked again, blinking rapidly to keep her eyes from bugging out of her head.
There across the room, surrounded by a largish group of people—one of whom, Emma noted, was Ruby—stood Killian Jones. It was him, she was sure of it, sure that she would recognise him anywhere, but oh, the changes time had wrought on the boy she’d known. She wasn’t sure if he really was any taller but he looked it, standing straight with his shoulders squared. There was stubble on his jaw and hair on his chest, clearly displayed by the undone buttons of his henley, and his eyes—so much brighter when not hidden behind thick glasses—twinkled as he delivered a quip that had everyone around him exploding in fresh peals of mirth.
She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, staring so hard she could see the exact moment he sensed her gaze and turned, his own eyes widening immediately in recognition. Of course he recognised her, Emma thought, he would; however older and cooler and hotter he might be now he was still the smartest boy she’d ever met and Superman’s disguise could not fool him.
He stared at her for the longest moment of her life and then he winked—the worst excuse for a wink she’d ever seen—and turned his attention back to his crowd. Emma breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to blow her cover.
She realised with a start that Walsh had kept on talking this whole time and she hadn’t heard a word he said. He seemed to realise that too, finally, and scowled at her.
“Hey,” he said. “Earth to Anna.”
“Sorry.” She offered a polite smile. “My mind wandered.”
“Well, wander it back over here,” he said. “I was telling you all about my Reddit subgroup I started, and you weren’t even listening.”
“Sorry,” she repeated. “Though actually, would you excuse me, I—”
“Are you kidding me?” he snapped, his scowl darkening. “I bring you a drink, come all the way over here to talk to you. All I ask in return is a little bit of attention and you can’t even give me that.”
“I—”
“I’m a nice guy, you know,” he continued, moving closer. “I’d treat you right. Don’t think I didn’t see who you were looking at just now. If you think those guys would treat you better than I—”
“Look, Welsh—” Emma interrupted, bristling at his presumption and his tone.
“It’s Walsh.”
“Yes, sorry, Walsh. Um, I don’t know what you think this is, but we only just met. We’ve been talking for ten minutes and it’s basically been you monologuing about Reddit the whole time. If you’re really looking to connect with people it might be better to ask them something about themselves instead of dominating the conversation.”
“Oh, right, because it’s all about you, isn’t it?”
“That’s not what I—”
“You’re not even that pretty, you know,” he sneered. “Glasses are really unattractive on a woman.”
Emma began to sputter with indignation. No one had ever spoken to her in such a way before and she was outraged to learn that there were men in her realm who felt that it was acceptable to insult women as long as they weren’t royalty, apparently. Walsh smirked as she struggled to find words vile enough to express her opinion of him, and then a deep voice spoke from just over her shoulder.
“Perhaps you’re the one who needs glasses, mate, if that’s what you really think.”
Emma didn’t even need the butterflies leaping up in her belly to know that the voice was Killian’s. Her heart began to pound in time to the butterflies’ dance as she turned to find him standing just behind her, glowering darkly at Walsh. “I’m certain the lady told you she’s not interested, so why don’t you bugger off back to whatever rock you crawled out from under?” he snarled.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” blustered Walsh.
“And yet I just did.”
“Who the hell do you think you are—”
“He’s my boyfriend.” Emma jumped in before the scene could escalate, blurting the first thing that popped into her head. Walsh gaped at her, so astounded that he failed to notice Killian’s own slack jaw and bugging eyes. Killian recovered quickly, however, and casually looped an arm around Emma’s shoulders.
“Aye,” he said. “I am.”
Emma slipped her own arm around his waist, leaning her head against his shoulder and doing her best not to faint. He was surprisingly sturdy and he smelled so good. She wanted to bury her nose in his neck and just breathe.
“So stop trying it on with my girlfriend and piss off,” he said, tightening his arm to tuck her more securely against his side while also managing to loom over Walsh through the sheer force of his personality, despite them being more or less of a height.
Walsh glared at Killian and then at Emma and then back to Killian again, and when neither of them budged he reached out and snatched the cup of ale from Emma’s hand.
“I’ll be taking that back, then,” he huffed, and marched away.
“Thank goodness,” said Emma. “It was not pleasant.”
“Dwarf ale,” remarked Killian. “Not for the faint of stomach.”
Emma chuckled and looked up at him, into those bright blue eyes that had never faded from her memory. He grinned back at her, a grin with an edge it hadn’t had three years ago, and she caught her breath.
“Killian—” she began, then his eyes went wide with horror and his ears flushed bright pink. He pulled his arm away so quickly she stumbled and stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck. “Bloody hell,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry, Em—er, Your High—”
“Shhhh,” hissed Emma, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a quiet corner. “Careful or you’ll blow my cover. My name’s Anna now. Anna Swan.”
His tense expression relaxed and he raised an eyebrow. “Swan, hmm? Interesting choice.”
“Yeah, it’s a—well, it’s a story. Kind of a long one.”
He smiled, the eager, interested smile she remembered so well. “I have time. If you’d care to tell it?”
He got her a drink, a sweet, fizzy one this time laced with just a few drops from his cup of Glowerhaven rum. They stood close together in the darkened corner and he listened intently as she told him about her childhood fondness for the palace swans, their elegant beauty and terrible manners, and how she’d loved reading the tales of the Swan Princess and the fable of the Ugly Duckling, and how her father had taken to calling her his little duckling after she’d demanded he read her that story at bedtime for three months straight.
“So it just seemed appropriate,” she said with a shrug. “Meaningful, but also it doesn’t give anyone a clue as to who I am.”
“And it suits you,” said Killian. “Swan. Beautiful and fearsome, just like you.”
“I’m not fearsome!” she protested, scowling to cover the blush that heated her cheeks when he called her beautiful.
“Aren’t you?” he asked earnestly. “You terrify me.”
“I do? I don’t wish to.”
“I’m sure it’s unintentional,” he said softly. “And more to do with me being timid.”
“You’re not timid,” she scoffed.
“Much less so than I used to be. And yet—” he took her hand and held it to his chest, just above his pounding heart. “You see?”
Emma gulped and her mouth went dry. His chest was firm and the hair on it rough beneath the fabric of his shirt, his hand covering hers so warm.
“Mine’s the same, though,” she whispered, taking his other hand. With hers still on his chest she could feel his sharp inhale and his heart racing even faster when she laid his palm flat over her own frantic heartbeat.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. Their eyes locked, his looking dazed and very dark, the colour high on his cheeks and his breaths audibly harsh.
She licked her lips and his eyes followed the movement, his fingers tightening around hers, his hand on her chest sliding up to curl around her neck. He leaned his head down and she tipped her chin up and their lips were barely a breath apart when a crash and a shriek sounded from the kitchen and they both jumped. Killian squeezed his eyes shut, swearing viciously under his breath as he released her hand and neck and stepped away.
“It sounds like things are winding down here,” he said gruffly. “When glassware starts to shatter, that’s your cue to leave. Bit of advice.”
Disappointment tasted bitter, Emma realised. Bitter and crushing and achy and she hated it. She never wished to feel it again. She nodded in response, unable to speak.
They stood silently for a minute, then Killian sighed. “So, um, may I see you home?” he asked, rubbing at his neck again.
She smiled despite herself. “We’re not at court, Killian.”
“Perhaps not, but I’d still like to walk you back.”
“Yeah.” Her smile came more easily with the next attempt. “I’d like that too.”
He kept his hands in his pockets as they walked the short distance to her dorm, but she was acutely aware of him and how near he was and the faint heat she could still feel from his body. When they reached her building he turned to her and smiled.
“Well, Swan, I hope it won’t be another three years until I see you again,” he said.
“It’s a small campus and I’m here until next summer, so I’d guess probably not.” Not if she had anything to say about it, she thought.
“You’re only staying for a year?” he asked.
“It’s all my parents would permit.”
“Ah. I’ve only this year remaining as well, actually, until I graduate.”
“Graduate? But—in three years?”
He shrugged. “I’ve worked hard.”
It was more than that, Emma knew. He was clever and ambitious and determined to make something of himself. To change the world, just as his brother had predicted. She didn’t know the precise circumstances of the Joneses’ life before they found refuge in Misthaven, but from the few hints Commander—now Captain—Jones had dropped they hadn’t had the easiest of beginnings. That they had already made such a success of themselves was deeply impressive, and Emma suspected they were only just getting started.
“Do you—have far to walk to get home?” she asked, a bit wistfully. It was late and she was tired but she didn’t want Killian to go. She wasn’t ready for their time together to end.
“Just to the other side of campus,” he replied. “I’m here on a military training scholarship so I live with the other cadets. When I graduate I’ll join the navy as a lieutenant.”
“Like your brother.”
“Aye,” he agreed. “Possibly even on his ship.”
“That would be amazing.”
“We think so.”
They were standing close again, in a shadowy recess just to the side of the door, and Emma’s heart was pounding, not again but more like still; it had barely rested since she’d laid eyes on Killian. He was looking at her with a gaze so intense she could swear she felt it caress her lips and gods she wanted him to kiss her. If only she had paid more attention to the gossip among the ladies at court, or even to Ruby’s chatter the past two weeks, then she might have at least some idea of how to make that happen. How exactly did one go about letting a man know one wished to be kissed without actually saying ‘please kiss me’? Maybe she should just say it? Or, as the princess, did she need to kiss him first? What was the protocol here? She was royalty damn it, she couldn’t do anything until she knew the protocol.
Instead she just stared at him, feeling hot and itchy and increasingly desperate until he swallowed hard and drew a deep breath, then stepped back. Again.
“Well. I imagine I’ll see you around, then, Swan.”
Don’t go, Emma’s body screamed, even as her mouth said “I hope so.”
He smiled and gave her a small nod, then headed off down the path away from her building, and from her. She watched him go, simmering with frustration. She should have just grabbed him, she thought, and protocol be damned. Grabbed him and kissed him, because damn it she was not going to be able to sleep tonight for wondering what that would feel like, and wishing she didn’t need to wonder.
With an irritated huff she went to the door, taking her keys from her pocket and sorting through them in search of the correct one. She’d just managed to locate it when a warm hand took her by the elbow and tugged her back into the privacy of the shadows.
“What the—” she exclaimed, and then Killian’s lips were on hers. The keys slipped from her fingers and fell unheeded to the ground as her knees went weak and she grasped at his shoulders for support. He walked her back until she was pressed against the wall, his arm firm around her waist and his fingers tangling in her hair as he kissed her, soft and slow and deep and gods.
Emma whimpered, clinging to him, yearning for things she couldn’t articulate. His hand flexed against her jaw at the sound and just for a moment he pulled her flush against him, insistent yet so gentle, like he wanted to consume her and also never let her go. Then, ever so softly, he broke the kiss.
“Go out with me,” he murmured, leaning his forehead against hers and stroking his thumb across her chin.
“Hmmmm?” Emma struggled to think through the spinning in her head and the frantic thrum of her blood. “Go where?”
He chuckled. “Let me take you out to dinner. Tomorrow.”
“Like—a date?”
“Aye, Swan, very much like a date. An actual date, in fact.”
She blushed at the gentle teasing but the butterflies in her belly were performing an elaborate pas-de-deux and she felt like she could fly along with them. “I’d like that,” she said.
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. Um.” He cleared his throat and stood straight, though his hand remained on her cheek. “I’ll come by here to pick you up. About seven?”
She nodded. “I’m in room 3017. You can call me on the intercom from down here.”
“3017,” he repeated. He stepped back with a swagger in his hips this time, and bit his bottom lip in a way that made her want to drag him up to her room now, no date required.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, love,” he said, his voice dripping with promise, and she smiled.
“Tomorrow.”
~
“And that’s how it happened.” Emma concludes. “More wine, Captain Jones?” She smiles at Liam who’s gaping at her, slack-jawed. Slowly he inclines his head and pushes his wine glass slightly forward on the table. The three of them are sitting in the small dining area of Emma and Killian’s apartments at the palace, sharing dinner as they fill Liam in on the story of their relationship. As Emma refills his wine glass, Liam turns to Killian and punches him squarely in the shoulder.
“Oi!” Killian cries. “What was that for?”
“I can’t believe you just kissed her like that!” Liam exclaims. “What were you thinking?”
Killian shrugs. “I was thinking I wanted to kiss her.”
“You can’t just up and kiss the princess!” Liam sputters.
“That’s what I was trying to tell myself,” says Killian. “I walked away cursing who she was and reminding myself I had to treat her appropriately, and then I thought but why? If she’d been the normal girl she was pretending to be, I’d have kissed her at the party. So I turned back and, well, you heard the rest.”
“I’m glad he did, too,” says Emma. “It saved me the trouble of hunting him down and kissing him myself. Didn’t help me sleep that night though.” She shoots Killian a saucy look which he returns in kind.
“All right all right, bloody hell,” Liam grumbles. “Could you stop doing that, please?”
“Doing what?” asks Emma innocently.
“I’ve no idea what you mean, brother,” says Killian.
Liam groans and lets his head fall into his hands. “Where’s that wine?” he says.
~
When dinner is over Liam takes his leave, and Emma offers to walk with him as far as the door to the inner courtyard. They stroll slowly through the wide corridors and Liam waits, knowing she must have something she wishes to say.
“I’m glad you finally know about us.” Emma glances up at him with a rather apologetic smile. “Killian’s been wanting to tell you for ages. He couldn’t say anything at first of course, because no one outside my family and our closest advisers knew I was at the university, but since we began living together he’s felt awful keeping it from you.”
“I understand why he did, though,” Liam replies. “And I’m truly sorry he ever felt that he couldn’t confide in me.” They walk in silence for a few minutes. “Do, er—” he clears his throat. “Do your parents know?”
“They do.”
“And… how do they feel about it?”
“They’re delighted,” says Emma gently, and Liam feels the tension in his shoulders recede.
“Truly?”
“Truly. It was a bit tricky at first, but they adore Killian and they’re happy I’ve chosen someone who will be a true partner to me when I take the throne. They know how essential that is.”
They are approaching the doors to the courtyard, but Emma stops just inside them and turns to face him. “Liam,” she says. “May I call you that?”
“Of course.”
“Liam, I just want you to know that Killian—” Her voice breaks and she blinks rapidly, looking faintly embarrassed. “I—I just—I love him so much,” she chokes out as tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. “Oh, gods I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, lass.” Liam withdraws a crisp handkerchief from his uniform pocket and offers it to her.
“Thank you.” She takes the handkerchief and dabs at her eyes. “I’ve never found it easy to talk about my feelings,” she says once she’s calmer, “and the stronger they are the harder it is. But I need you to know that Killian’s heart is safe with me. As I know mine is with him.”
Liam nods, his chest too tight for the words he wishes he could say. He contents himself with a simple “Thank you.”
Emma smiles and gives him his handkerchief back, squeezing his hand as he takes it. “You’re welcome,” she says. “Brother.”
—
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Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers
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It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father. So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?
While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.
So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.
The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled
A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.
The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.
Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,
“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”
The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”
I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.
It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around.
Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman
Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character.
As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners.
The Rural Location
Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.
Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.
The Different Character Dynamics
Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.
The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.
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Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.
Ham Is Gay And I Love Him
Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!
To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”
Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”
Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”
It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!
Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.
Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town?
It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up.
Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character
Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.
Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.
The post Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers appeared first on Den of Geek.
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Pokken is probably the biggest Pokemon let down in the history of Pokemon let downs.
I'm a passionate guy. I love and hate things pretty hard for many reasons and those reasons usually run deep even if they are only a few words. However, sometimes I'll have a passion so deep that it is specifically against the common consensus and will be viewed as "flawed" or "wrong" or "stupid" or "something I should get over". The point is this is one of those things that every time I explain it to my friends who like Pokken that they get defensive and tell me I'm wrong. Thankfully most of the times opinions can't really be wrong now can they? Firstly I would like to express I am not a game designer in any way and my opinions are just that. My opinion and if you don't like it that is fair. We can all live in the same space and not have to come to blows over these things. So why is Pokken the biggest let down at least for me in the world of Pokemon games? That's because Pokken is not what I expected and what it could have been. When I say it could have been better and possibly better than almost every single fighting game known to man as well better than even Smash than you can only assume my expectations were so high on this game that you could say it is my fault for putting them on the highest level and then being sad when the game doesn't even come to half of what I wanted. Let me take you back to the first time I saw a Pokemon fighting game. For many of you, you already know or have seen the game but maybe don't know the name. That game is Pokemon: Type Wild. Type Wild is basically like every single other fighting game in that you get a roster (9) of different fighters who all fight in their own style. Simple enough to get where anyone can pick it up but few could master. It is a simple game that strikes desire into the heart of fighting game lovers. Which I happen to love fighting games. I may not play the greatest amount of them but I am ungodly at Bloody Roar 3 to a point where picking up a controller is like riding a bike. Short side story. My first time drinking I played a drinking game with friends where if you win you take a shot of hard liquor. We had 4 different types of hard liquor such as Sake, Vodka, Whiskey, and something else I can't remember. Eventually I had won so many games that not only was I shit face to the point of barely able to sit up straight, but I drank so much alcohol that by the time I was half way through the roster people quit because I was still winning and they haven't even felt a buzz yet. We ran out of liquor that day. Point is I love fighting games so I for years hoped that we would get a solid fighting game either like a 2d styles Street Fighter or a 2.5d style in the styles of Tekken or Bloody Roar. Instead we got Pokken. So I'm sure you would ask "what is wrong with the game. I like it." and that is just fine. You can like whatever you want and we can again have different opinions. Hell even if you like a thing people think is bad or a guilty pleasure that's also fine. I love infomercials and they are stupid as hell. You are allowed to like bad things. Let's be honest though. Pokken even if a good game does have flaws. It's not perfect by far and in those flaws I find that I don't for its own merits actually like the game. This again does not make it bad. Here are the things I find bad with the game in no particular order. Fights are too short I hate the switch style of fighting and it tends to make certain characters like machamp unrealistic in that he now needs a ranged attack like everyone else thus he becomes like everyone else. This is bad because you have no choice when it'll switch styles as it sometimes happens randomly (or so I assume, it has been a hot minute since I played but I'm pretty positive it happened without me "triggering anything) It's all style and no real substance. It looks pretty but it is kind of just a flash in the pan when you've seen all the moves over and over and over again. As stated before, all the characters are pretty much the same. What I mean by that is all have a long ranged move and basically feel the same. Yes there is some rock
paper scissors but when machamp needs a long ranged move and you just make it punches then it feels more tacked on and the characters don't really shine much. The roster looks alright at best but since there are 2 mewtwos and 2 pikachus it just feels lack luster. Also the dog and the chandelier don't seem to fit. The little support Pokemon don't seem like they add that much. Lastly and the most important part is that the game seems to lack real actual depth like Pokemon games do. That's the real problem for me. You have the biggest franchise in the world and finally make the biggest spin off for it and you make it lack substance? You might be thinking "well what would you do to make the game better?" and I'm glad you hypothetically asked in this scenario I just made up and forced upon you. There are 2 ways to make a good Pokemon fighting game. One is a rip off and the other is my own creation so to speak. The first is simple. Just make another smash. Make the Kanto region its own smash areas with instead of pokeballs and items and so on (you could cut down on all the extra stuff) and focus on making a pokemon with its own move sets. You could give them each their own moves and just make them fight like they would in smash. Is it a unique game? No, but the roster would be gigantic and it would look dope having a person fight as magikarp against a giant group of people. Also think of the amount of Amiibos they could make. The game wouldn't end there. It would get DLC for each region with new pokemon every time. The problem with this is the roster would be 1000 large and counting. So making this, as fun as it would be, seems unrealistic. So let's instead go with my idea. My idea is more or less the same as the actual game but with fighting in it. What that means is you would take every main important mechanic and throw it into this game. Then you would take the game and make it into a fighting game with those mechanics. Let's start small. First we need a story to get the game rolling right? Let's make it simple. It is a fighting tournament where fighting types can come together and fight in the arena. You know, like the episode of where Ash had primeape fight a bunch of dudes. Instead of in general fighting in a ring, they would have a stage where fights would be held. The story is this is where whoever shows up wants to be the best. Let's say each character is going to also be it's own "person" with it's own personality. That way we can have entry comments when they start the fight because they are talking to each other. You can make rivalries happen, you can also in general say these are the best fighters of their kinds. You have options to make this into a grander stage than the original did by making this the first ever tournament of its kind. That's the setting but we need a roster to fill the game out. So the game could start small in that it generally would have a roster specifically of only fighting types. This means that at most we would if only using final evolutions have without different forms, and megas about 32 different characters. Suddenly we now have a larger roster compared to the actual one we got. sure it is only fighting types but if we only have fighting types no one can complain about not getting their favorite. However, I'm not gonna lie, the roster looks like it lacks main villains and leaving out legends kind of ruins the whole every fighting type and lastly, with what happened to dexit I'm sure people would be mad if they can't use megas as well. So let's instead change that roster to have EVERY single fighting type in the game. (only last evolutions though. Don't need no babies and first forms in here) Now we have a total of 52. Let's also say for fairness sakes that some characters have non fighting forms. Let's add those in if they are before a mega evolution changes them. That's 3 more for a total of 55 in the roster. Now let's also have to force a couple more in there for "reasons" such as it is Pikachu who has to be in every single game. So now it is 56 total and since in general
arceus can every type the roster would be a total of 57 characters at the end of the entire thing. That puts the current roster to shame. Sure we miss out on fan favorites but in the end 57 unique characters? That is one hell of a difference. Yeah they are all fighting types but still. It is 100% better than what we currently have. Also this can be done. There are fighting games with over 60 characters and I'm not talking about a roster of "forms" like in dragonball z games where you can change your move set that is basically the same as other peoples. I'm talking about games such as smash with 58, tekken tag tournament 2 with 59, mortal kombat armageddion with 62, def jam fight for ny with 72, naruto ultimate ninja storm with 119. Suddenly you're up there with the big boys. (at least numbers wise) Some people might say that the game would probably have bad graphics and to that I say it has a simply solution. Make the game 2d. Many people would probably say that the best thing about Pokken is that it looks "tight as fuck" or something in that regard but we all know that 3d doesn't make everything better. Old school Street fighter games look pretty good with smooth animations and also fantastic backgrounds and a lot like anime compared to now which just doesn't look the same. Good in its own ways but different. You can have more things in a game with less "graphics" while looking super great while doing so. It wouldn't lessen the game and would make future versions of the game able to add more into the game as well. It would also add for many more things to be added as well. Which is really good since in general the game is supposed to be deep and not taking the game to look amazing means you can add more into it and allow for more cool things. Let's not get into the nitty gritty just yet because there are a few things I'd like to add. Let's take a step back to the roster. Let's say that they started off with just the first gen leading us to have a total of 9 different characters on the roster. That's not bad. This leaves us open to a ton of DLC and also alternate "costumes" to make our characters look better and more in line with who they want to be. The rosters itself would also have 9 unique characters with different strengths and weaknesses compared to a generic roster who is small but also kind of the same. You could also allow for a stage for every single type to shine through aesthetically. Sure we got some nice looking stages but imagine if we had one based on each type. A normal stage on a beach where it is sandy and has a nice tropical sunny feel to it. The only thing that would make that better is if the beach had some interaction to it. What matters in the game is the style of play. Pokken allows for arena battles as well as side to side battles. Both are fine but would make you have to specifically have one main style of art and dimensions. I think that side to side is better in 2d while arena I believe can only be in 3d. This to me means that we would have a side to side fighter but if for example we did get a 3d arena match then we would get hazards on the field. There was a play at doing so in the actual game where there would be spots where vines and other explosions pop up from the ground but imagine an actual 3d arena where you can get thrown into trees, or walk on hot lava spots or something akin to that. Imagine all the actual things you can do with moves such as spikes, or actual entry hazards. The game would take on more depth and allow for cooler fights. Even then having things in 2d isn't that bad. Having the ability to actually fight in a beautiful place with the character you want there allows for better visuals. The real shame is we could have gotten a battle area for every single type of Pokemon as well as a call back to the ???? typing where it would randomly choose a place to fight. This is all visual things that would make the game pretty but the real depth of it comes from how the game is constructed. That is by it being like actual normal main stream games. So what does it mean to
be a main stream game? Let's quantify to some degree what Pokemon is. It's a jrpg with the largest party roster ever. It's a simple one on one battle style but in essence you got the fighter, the ninja, the mage, and probably a few other things. They just sometimes look like eggs or a dinosaur. Either way roster is huge. The second thing is the simplicity of type matchess and even added abilities. Stats are also a part of the game while equipment and moves that you can customize out of a set list are also there. Personalities and breeding make their way into the game. There are so many things that you can do with normal Pokemon that just allows for the most unique playthrough of the game in any way you want and matches against real people have strategies and styles you might not find everywhere else. That is unless you're not playing random children and are playing adults who use the same stuff over and over except that one guy who used pachirisu but that guy is a maverick. So how would all this work? Simple. Just do the stuff they already do. Let's look at Pokken itself real quick. You have the attack and defense stats that in general make you deal or take less damage. You have your ultimate gauge and your support gauge. Pretty lack luster stuff seeing as we get more in the regular stats of Pokemon compared to it. We have special and regular attack. Special and regular defense. Speed and Lastly HP. That's where Pokken ends in customization. Lackluster in comparison as well when you look at all the stuff you can do in regular Pokemon to build a bond with it. So how do we build into the ultimate experience that we never got but wanted? Easily. Again just do like the game. Pokemon has a couple things that it does for you to customize your single little buddy to take on anyone. Let's look at those things. You have levels, types, items, breeding, evs/ivs, abilities, unique movesets, specific stats. That doesn't seem like much but having 8 different things to do with their own large amount of things is huge. To start with lets go with levels. Levels will be exactly that. They will increase the more you use a specific Pokemon. Not to say that the character would change and then have you start at a lower level, but in general you have the 100 levels and the stats on the character would grow to be that of what you finally get. You would also in PVP be matched up to an enemy of an equal level since you would have played that character and at least that long for that level to exist on the character you are using. This means that stats would also come into play. Stats would act like they normally do however moves would dictate that thing. Normal attacks would work with attack strength while special moves that you add onto your character would use the special stat. Not moves that are special attacks but any and every move. So extreme speed and thunderbolt would both use the special stat while a normal punch or kick would be your attack. This would make moves matter and make you want to make the move set how you would like it. Moves and customized move sets would be next on the list. This would allow for you to actually help your character and yeah this would mean that some characters are more optimal in some ways. If you wanted a move based machamp over an attacker than you have the choice and sure, some characters would be horrible with special attack but in the end all moves are special and would allow certain characters who are long range attackers such as Sirfetch'd who has a sword have to get closer to a machamp who uses focus blast to hit. This would allow for actual move customization too so that things such as toxicroak who uses poison moves to really shine since if we are making the moves than we would in general also wanna add the typings into the game as well. Types would allow for certain Pokemon to shine through more. Yes ghost fighting types would be busted, but thankfully there is only one and that would mean that you would want some anti ghost stuff on your character or it would make for you to have to actually
do normal attacks with a special attacker as they are even if named normal attacks not normal type. As in regular punches and kicks. Things like typing would also come into effect because that means the moves would be of the type and you can get added bonuses such as poisoning people and flinching and so on. Which means that abilities would be handy to fight certain people. If you play toxicroak then you are going to poison people with poison point. Which would go back to typing as an important thing since lucario is part steel. You could slow the opponent with electric moves. You could flinch enemies and so on. You have so many abilities to disrupt the enemy. This will make people go and make a huge deal on trying to perfect their roster of dudes they like to not only get skilled at them but also in general make them better. This is good because items and breeding are going to be a thing in the game. If ev's and iv's are in the game with breeding then that means you can actively max out a pokemon in ways you like. You can get points by winning fights and throw them onto a pokemon and just have like levels unlocked points for that pokemon. That way when you get good stuff for the process of breeding a new version of the character you get it in a way that actually benefits you when you choose a new nature and instead of having to grind even more each time you can just in general work hard while reasonably doing so. How would you get these items? That's simple. Either through constant grind which you are already doing or through mini games. Like the ones they had back in Pokemon stadium. People have wanted those again for such a long time. Even if they are small ones where it is training based it would be something fun to do to set off the monotony of grinding a better character all the time. So since everything is unique in that way how would the roster themselves work? It's big and it seems like we wouldn't be able to make them all 100% unique and as true as that is there is one thing to set them apart like you would in a normal fighting game compared to what it seems Pokken does. EVERY POKEMON HAS A UNIQUE FIGHTING STYLE BECAUSE THEY ARE FIGHTING TYPES. If we looked at the roster some of them are going to be in general a little strange but take it from the guy who is passionate about this idea that I can in some ways write down a style for each of them and that's just what I'm gonna do. Pikachu - Let's get the first and most obvious one out of the way and the most blatant problem in the only fighting type roster. Let's just say Pikachu libre was raised by some fighting types. Hawlucha to be exact and it got let in as an honorary member. It would be a fast attacker and have some good jump attacks. Primeape - A berserker style fighter who attacks very well but lacks real use of the special moves. It can still do them, but it may be open to failing. Like the trip mechanic in Smash cause fuck you it's funny. Poliwrath - A heavy hitter who does big attacks. Poliwrath doesn't have a style so much is just a big beefy dude. Would probably make him a little better at doing specials because of his lack of finesse and real inability to kick well. Machamp - Based on body builders and "able to know every fighting style" kinda makes machamp a little bit of an "eh" choice. Instead of making him fully aggressive and E Honda someone with 1000 punches we could also make him have special button inputs to pose and get power ups. This would make him actually stronger on specials if you wanted to do a special attacker or something else of the like. Hitmonlee - A kick boxer style where he would hardly use his hands. He would still be able to do special moves like the punches but in general this would mostly mean he would just kick normally and have extra blocks with his arms. Hitmonchan - If they can make steve fox do dodges with his feet then they can make hitmonchan the exact same way. Galarian Zapdos - Look, it's stupid that it is a fighting type but it is what it is. So let's just roll with it and say he does a lot of kicks.
Like can't really punch but would use his beak for pecks. They wouldn't be flying attacks but in general would allow for a little long range. Mewtwo - Our first non fighting type (not pikachu) to hit the scene and a real boss. See as much as Zapdos is a boss, Mewtwo would also in general be like the larger boss at the end. A real contender for difficult since his stats would push him a little over. The real threat is when you look at his mega form which would not require an item on the boss in the game and would allow him to not be stopped from this form. He also has a different move set meaning he is just in general a different fighter as well. You could also have it to where they don't even need the players to need to mega evolve and they just choose him. Heracross - This would be a little tricky as beetles generally just fling their enemy. He would probably have moves that did that while also being able to grapple well. His mega form would allow him to hit better like he normally does with multi hit moves and would probably have a better grab based move set. Hitmontop - Being short is its own special thing since he would be harder to hit with high attacks but he also has capoera style. Blaziken - Blaziken seems like it would be another strong boss in that it literally gets faster as the battle goes on and his mega does the same thing. It also has muay thai style fighting. Breloom - It's literally a kangaroo. It punches, it kickes really hard with its tail as support. It's a kangaroo. Hariyama - Besides Ehonda strikes it is also a sumo wrestler. So throws would be a thing it can do. Medicham - One of the more difficult to place styles. Its mega form would allow for also easy punch combos but I think this would be one of the more wonky styles of fighting. Each fighting game has a yoshimitsu style of fighter and I'm sure this would be it. Infernape - Monkey style kung fu. Loppuny - Loppuny is strange in that it is not a fighter. So it should have a generic not that strong looking style of fighting but when it mega evolves it learns Tai Bo and generic defense class style. Lucario - Also strange to place but could have something like Tai Chi or something of the like. Toxicroak - A dirty fighter and probably like that of a yakuza. Gallade - Would be really good at counters and uses a gentlemans style of fighting. Arceus - I don't know man, it's a horse. The people making the game would figure it out. Just steal the horse style from the JOJO fighting game or something. Emboar - Based on chinese symbols and also wrestling. This could be a grappler as well with a greco roman style and theme. Conkeldurr - This would have range over most of the others as well as strength, it would be slow moving but could swing fast. It also uses centripital force. Throh - It knows judo and would be good at grapples and blocks. Sawk - It knows karate and would be really good at strikes and counters. Scrafty - Would use headbutts and kicks. Nothing other than what it says since inner city youth generally don't have a fighting style. Mienshao - Shaolin style kung fu. Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion - Each would have the same style of fighting. The difference being is Cobalion would have average speed and attack while terrakion and virizion would be slower or faster while weaker and stronger. Keldeo - Would have a style like the others but with some variations to it. It would be kind of bad in comparison as it is not as old and skilled but it's resolute form would make the style come together and make it better. Meloetta - Would have a buff system like Machamp but could also change style to allow it to do better at fighting but lose the ability to make buffs Chesnaught - It's a noble knight. Give it a graceful style that doesn't fit its huge armor or make it a power house. The choices are up to the developer at that point. Pangoro - Big punches and wild swings. Like Poliwrath but handles different. Hawlucha - Luchadore style wrestling, but has a high jump allowing for aerial attacks. Crabominable - Just punches. It
can't do anything else but it should have strong hard to stop punches. Bewear - Based on bear wrestling and bear hugs. It is your modern wrestler. Since we won't have incineroar in the game this would be the closest we get to WWE style of wrestling. Passimian - Tackles and moving. It's a football player. What else would it do? Kommo-o - Honestly this one eludes me since it just is a fighting type and I don't think it was inspired type wise by anything. Buzzwole - Just like Pangoro and Poliwrath. Would just be a big buff fighter. Pheromosa - Would be a kick fighter like Jenny from Bloody Roar 3. Marshadow - Since it mimics it would just be the random fighter each time. Grapploct - A grappler. Sirfetch'd - Uses his spear/sword for doing long range styles of poke. Shield would help block better. Also is small. Falinks - What could it do? I have no idea. Zamazenta - It has a normal non shield form, and it has a shield form. It could be slower in non shield mode but also when in shield mode be harder to hurt. Urshifu - Urshifu has 2 forms. One which would be single strike which is precise and accurate trying to end the fight in as few hits as possible meaning dealing more damage or something like that while rapid strike form could just be an unending combo like Maxi does in Soul Calibur 2. The real thing to know is that in general certain pokemon could have unique abilities not explained. Such as better blocks where they take less damage to no damage compared to other fighters or even more damage even if at the same number or other things like that, This would also make the boss battles more unique. That's mostly how the game would be made. At the end of the day we lost out on what could be the most deep fighter ever made. What saddens me more is that had we gotten this game it would have probably made Nintendo do better with their online services. Either way we will never know what truly could have been.
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