#he also said skibidi five times

[dalemon]

Time asked the waitress if Wind had "rizz"

[hopemariposa]

My Random Ducktales Headcanons!!!

this is another post where… no one asked for this. but my past Ducktales post did good so I give the people what they want

(I crave the validation of others)

I also sprinkled in goofy screenshots for a little bit of extra seasoning

Dewey like… ate rocks as a kid. just for fun

Huey told Dewey that Dodos ate rocks and Dewey internalized this, thus, Huey is responsible for Dewey eating rocks

Donald had a panic attack when he saw his nephew (that he is a legal guardian for) wolf down like… three rocks at one time for the plot

Louie had a collection of various historical coins (they’re his special interest)

Donald regularly has nightmares about being attacked and killed by a bear (same bro)

Dewey taught Webby the words “rizz” “gyat” and “skibidi toilet” and it became everyone’s problem

this lead to Scrooge exclaiming that “he does not have any rizz” (this is a lie, he is rizz lord incarnate)

Mrs. Beakley is a Pintrest Board Mom™️

she also can’t cook. she just has an assortment of Pinterest recipes that everyone despises but eats so she doesn’t feel bad

Storkules has beaten up Andrew Tate. Mixed martial arts? more like mixed Greek salad served by a hunky demigod.

Storkules is also a feminist. that’s not a headcanon, tho, that’s a fact.

so is Launchpad. fight me on this.

Launchpad and Storkules are also besties. they’re both himbos with too much game.

Launchpad has illegally smuggled contraband into the country before. whether it was sniffle snacks or an exotic animal we’ll never know, but smuggling is on his transcript.

LP unironically uses the pet name “pookie”. he don’t know what it means but he heard Dewey said and Dewey’s his best friend so that makes it cool

he also has a five step hair care routine

Scrooge regularly pays off several press stations to write wack stories about him because they make him chortle.

Scrooge also uses the term “square”… in daily conversation

one time he called Mágica a “square” and it personally offended her for life, ripped open several wounds, and destroyed her emotional well-being for the rest of her days

Mrs. Beakley’s guilty pleasure is watching trash tv. Real Houseives? yes. Dance Moms? she quotes verbatim. The Bachelor? it’s her personality.

Mrs. Beakley watching these tv shows also got Della invested. now they throw a hissy fit if the other watches ahead of them

Webby cries over Bluey episodes on the daily.

Webby also related immensely to Bingo Heeler— it has awoken feelings in her she preferred to keep hidden

this is less of a headcanon, more of a fact, but Huey, Dewey and Webby (and more Im not thinking about) are so Neurodivergent it’s not even debatable

Della is a gym rat. she just is.

thats all thanks

[unsleepingtales]

Oh boy those content warnings look fun. Mismag episode four time?

(Excuse the lack of excitement please I’ve had a shit day and this promises yet more emotional damage) (I know I’m choosing to watch this I promise I’ll turn it off if it feels like it would be bad for me to keep watching)

Not the long back

Oh god

He has every right to be saying this but ouch

Okay so this is reasonable and devastating

SAM

That’s the thing that gets Brennan to break

Oh god Sam is a child of divorce and her saying that HITS

K. K. This is not it? Maybe?

Where’s Brennan’s mic bc it sounds a bit weird

Ooooh cool shadow stuff

Oy.

Disturbing!!!!

Is there a conspiracy about my ass happening in the group right now?

Yeah Evan there is 100% a conspiracy about your ass

Cool cool. So that was jokey but definitely implied K is still into Evan

His BODY

Uh

Maybe it’s the book he picked up?

UH

Hmm! Upsetting.

This is not great for my mental health 😐

Is Carlos doing this live or did they have him record new stuff in between episodes?

I mean that’s fair you did earthquake him

Aabria looks surprised so I am gonna guess Carlos was doing that live

There’s a lot of rules for sleeping outside

That is disturbing buddy

LEVITY THANK GOD

Are you gonna do a scrubbbbb

I love the editing on this

The face dropping the minute you get off the call is SO real

Oops oh no

UH OH

ERIKA WHAT

The very model of a modern chipmunk animal 😭

Awwww them

This is fun

Oh nooooooo

I love him SO much

That is. An ADHD symptom.

Hey babygirl what are you doing

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Ok so maybe that was prerecorded because they just had that projection ready to go

You’re gonna shoot a cocaine spell into your MIND

They can help now!

What’s a fun cocaine movie 😭

I just watched Aabria’s eyes light up at challenging Erika lmao

Okay her art is pretty

I love table acting. I think every actor should have to play a ttrpg and learn how to act and communicate within the confines of a table and it will be helpful!

Well at least she’ll have something in common with Tabby

GET FUCKED sorry that was a gut reaction to a British person using the American version of a word because I have been slowly infecting my British partner with Americanisms and our friends and their family never let them hear the end of it lmao

Cocaine!

Hello?????

Oh my GOD how did we get here

What?

A skrillion!

Lemli! Hi!

Brennannnnnnnn

Incredible. Five questions. You rock.

Evan!

That’s soooo unsettling.

Discomfort is a great place for everybody here to be and we can all bump up the paranoia by one!

Iconic tbh

HI!

I don’t have the strength to explain skibidi toilet 😭

Ooooh boy oh boy

The matrix crossed with Glinda’s bubble that’s really cool

Oh for fucks SAKE

Another dc 40 for Erika whyyyyy

Oh god

Oh FUCK HER

Holy shit that’s hot. Sorry but. Oh my god that’s hot.

What’s the smallest most efficient effort that makes a living person a dead body? I’m sorry but that? Is hot.

Evan immediately no hesitation snapping his wand to kill the person who attacked someone he loves. HOT.

Oh my GOD that’s terrifying. Hot. A silent custodian walking through the halls of her mind turning off her lights.

Art!

FUCK.

Listen I didn’t claim to be okay ever.

Oh this is interesting also

Sorry I’m. Fine.

Oh this could go so wrong.

Hey nobody look at me for a minute I’m gonna be in the corner processing my reaction to Brennan’s facial expressions just now.

This is FINE I’m not gonna rewatch that scene what are you TALKING about.

We’re fine we’re moving on we’re processing.

Sam not to be weird but yeah why the fuck would you put yourselves through that again for someone who did try to kill you and also just tried to break your shit and hurt your friend.

Attacking someone I love around me gets you dead. Yeah that’s it.

The bad part of cocaine!

Oh god. Oh that’s so horrifying. Oh Aabria you’re so good at what you do.

That’s heartbreaking and terrifying oh god.

Fuck.

A moment of peace. Okay.

Yeah Jammer hasn’t said anything in a While he doesn’t look like he’s having a good time

Glad I’m not the only one who thought that was fucking TERRIFYING

They’re friends!!

God. This is why he left.

Aabria. FUCK.

So next episode looks. Fun.

[sirbarnb]

Jackpot Review

In the near future, a 'Grand Lottery' has been newly established in California -- the catch: kill the winner before sundown to legally claim their multi-billion dollar jackpot. When Katie Kim (Awkwafina) moves to Los Angeles, she mistakenly finds herself with the winning ticket. Desperate to survive the hordes of jackpot hunters, she reluctantly joins forces with amateur lottery protection agent Noel Cassidy (John Cena) who will do everything in his power to get her to sundown in exchange for a piece of her prize. However, Noel must face off with his slick rival Louis Lewis (Simu Liu), who also seeks to collect Katie's commission at all costs.

(Context: Last week, me and few of my favourite people were planning to travel the beautiful countryside of Yorkshire. But got lazy and watched some movies at my Best Friends house instead)

My friend reommended this movie after about 8 minutes of searching through movies to watch. It was difficult to find the right movie for the FIVE of us. But one of our friends, that none of us trust to take us the right way around her childhood home town nevermind trust her to pick a good movie. Said "My Dad was watching this and it looked good". Oh how wrong she was

Anyway, now to the actual serious review. It wasn't as bad as I'm making it out to be (I'm being fr, this isn't sarcasm. Or is it?????). Jackpot was a very mid movie. It's the kind of movie you watch with your friends in Primary School during a sleepover. Your Batman and Robin, your Disaster movie. For the more younger audience, they probably watch Madame Web and Morbius nowadays and tell everyone how skibidi the villain is and how Baby Gronk rizzed up Sydney Sweeney (god help us all)

John Cena was one of the highlights of the movie. His acting is consistant throughout his movies, he's not reeling in the energy for the paycheck. He genuinely seems to enjoy these kinds of movies and I'm all for it.

The action is the true highlight of the movie. I wanna know how much they paid the choreographer for this movie because they were genuinely really creative with the fight scenes. And it really helped move the story along from one predicament to the next that you would expect from a movie like this. The pacing was only so good because the action was good. Simu Liu, I wanna see more of in terms of a villain. He kind of somehow brought this calm creepiness to his role I think he could translate to a well scripted, doesn't take itself too serious horror movie and excel at it. This may be the bias talking because I have liked a lot of the projects he's been a part of.

Now, the negatives. There is a lot.

First of all. The concept was fucking stupid; *plot is about to be explained* You buy a ticket to a jackpot that is worth billions because the economy is fucked for the working class. But the twist is that if you kill the winner of the draw you can win the money yourself. Why not have it where at the end of 24 hours, whoever has the winning card, wins? You can have all the rules of the game and everything. It just then makes it much more interesting, cos it's longer, more difficult and it makes more sense in terms of the universe you have actually set up originally. Rather than just to help the plot?

Katie just screams the entire time. She's a modern day Kirsten Dunst. She has no arc, she's goes from being scared and terrified. To bold and brave, straight back to scared and terrified. What was the point of her other than to tell Noel (an actually interesting character)'s story. I feel like she could have had more of a part to play in the entire thing than what she actually had. What if her mother was the previous winner we saw at the beginning? And was hunting her own daughter to win the bigger prize? Or what if her mom is the one running the competition in the first place. So she has to wrestle with accepting her mom as a fucking psycho. Whilst also partially benfitting from all of this in the first place. Her mom just dying at the start of the movie doesn't do anything, doesn't help, at all.

*spoilers for the ending* How long does the competition last? Is it 24 hours, 2 hours? 8 hours? The plot states "the randomly selected winner must survive until sundown" but at no point of the entire movie, is it going dark!! It's noon, the entire movie. Also the final 2 minutes last about 6 minutes. Katie falling of the rocket takes about 2 minutes, even tho the fall is about 30 feet, at the least.

The final act is just messy. The comedy doesn't land most of the time. Katie's 'roommates' are just stupid and fucking insane for the sake of being insane. They could have explained that, but they didn't. Literally one piece of dialogue would have been fucking nice.

Overall, the movie is a messy comedy, that sometimes isn't really comedy. But it is fun and the action pays off for the bad writing. I would recommend this at a sleepover or movie night with friends.

5/10

[literaltrashforeverything]

obnoxious songs they blast while picking you up | pt. 1

Ft. Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Hinata, Kuroo, Yaku, Oikawa, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Daisho

Warnings: Language, dorky boys, some songs are 18+ lmao sorry kids

A/n: I don’t really know where this idea came from. I was just vibing and listening to music and had the epiphany that I listen to obnoxious shit and decided to put some of them into writing and then it turned into this lol.  I feel like half the boys in this show are petty as fuck and would do this just because of a small fight.  This is also published to Ao3 and there will be a part 2!

Daichi – Bad Boys from COPS

This fucker probably pulls up to your job in a police car, windows rolled down, and blasts this song. Everyone in the general vicinity is just staring.  You are too, but you’re staying in place because your husband is the worst human on earth.

He points at you and motions for you to get in the car, smirking.

You can’t even see his eyes. He’s wearing the classic cop aviators.

Honestly, fuck this guy.

You’re head is lowered as you shamble toward the car, face red, before getting in the passenger seat.

“I’m never asking you to pick me up again, Daichi.”

“Awe, you love it, babe. Plus you’re riding in style.”

This isn’t what you’d call style, especially when he blasting this particular song.

He even has the audacity to turn on the sirens and the lights as he drives away from your workplace.

You’ll have your revenge. . .

Sugawara – Can-Can by Offenbach

You think the person pulling up in a car that’s blasting Can-Can is a genius while also being extremely annoying, until you realize that’s your genius but annoying ass husband.

Sugawara rolls down the window and smirks at you. He’s trying to look cool, doing the whole single-hand on the steering wheel and one arm out the window thing.

And really, he would look cool if he wasn’t playing Can-Can.

“Twerk for me babe.”

You pull the hood of your jacket up and awkwardly walk to the car.

Your face is bright red, but let’s be real, the second you are both in the car together you’re headbutting your asses off to Can-Can because it’s an amazing song.

Fuck y’all if you disagree.

(Jk I love you anyway)

Yeah, he blasts Can-Can a lot at home just because it's amazing.

Usually he does it before cleaning the house because it's very motivating.

Tanaka – Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

First off, this is the best song that’s ever been created in the history of music.

You can fight me on that.

Anyway-

Tanaka pulls up in your guys’ mini van because it just had the oil changed, and as payback for making him drive a mini van, he thinks he’ll be a little cooler if he just blasts the most badass song ever.

It’s really not. . .

Everyone is staring at Tanaka because for some reason your mini van has hella bass so it’s just vibrating everything in the general vicinity.

You stare at him, smiling, but internally raging. Your husband stares back, smirking widely and very mischievously.

He even dares to lean over the passenger seat and open the door for you.

“C’mon, baby. Get in and be cool with me.”

Hinata – Fur Elise by Beethoven (Klutch Dubstep Remix)

He’s not even trying to be embarrassing. He’s just legitimately vibing with this song when he picks you up.

He probably just got out of volleyball practice, too, so he’s in a tanktop and shorts, sunglasses on his head, and looks like he’s on top of the world as he waits for you to come over to where he’s pulled up and he’s literally headbanging to the song.

It takes you like a whole minute before you realize that’s literally your husband.

You’re like *surprised pikachu face*.

Just let him vibe. . . Don’t ruin his vibe. . .

You just go to the car and get in the passenger seat quietly. He doesn’t even notice because he’s vibing so hard.  He’s doing hand movements and everything, as if he’s the one playing the piano.

When the song ends and he sees you sitting there, his face just lights up.

“Hey, baby! How was work?”

You smile and go on to tell him about your day. You don’t bother to tell him that your entire workplace just witnessed him aggressively headbanging to Fur Elise.

Kuroo – WAP by Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion (but the Rihanna S&M mashup)

You and your husband had a fight earlier that morning. It was over basically nothing (it was about you not making him breakfast because you woke up late -.- This petty fucker—), and you did not apologize to him.

Never let a fight linger with Kuroo’s petty ass.

You watch your husband’s car pull up to the curb, where you’re waiting for him. The music could literally be heard from three blocks away.

Kuroo rolls down the window, smirking, and turns to you.

Deadass, this fucker is shirtless, and wearing aviator sunglasses that he casually pulls down to look at you from over the rim.  His hair is even slicked back and he looks hot.

His arm is dangling over the steering wheel and the song is just blasting.

“Hey, kitten~”

Your face is absolutely burning. Everyone in the general vicinity is staring at this shirtless, attractive motherfucker who you unfortunately chose to marry.

“I’m not making you breakfast for a week, Kuroo.”

You don’t even call him by his first name even though you literally have the same last name as him.

“What!? >:(“

This is probably how he picks you up everyday until you make him breakfast.

Yaku – S my D by Blood on the Dancefloor

This is another case of the man being a petty bitch because of a minor fight.

You may or may not have called your husband short earlier this morning, and you both laughed it off after he scolded you for calling him short. You genuinely thought it was over with until. . .

. . . he’s picking you up for work.

You didn’t even know this song existed until this exact moment, but the lyrics are so vulgar.

Yaku has all the windows down and is screaming this song as it blasts from the speakers.

You deadass just turn around and pretend you don’t know him.

You’re literally five seconds away from just walking home, honestly.

“Isn’t that your husband, Yaku-chan?” one of your coworkers asks.

You glance at the car where your husband is still jamming.

“Hm, nope. Don’t know that guy.  What a weirdo.”

Yeah, everyone knows you’re married to that lunatic but no one says anything.

Oikawa – I’m a Barbie Girl by Aqua

Why wouldn’t he? This fucker probably thinks he’s a living Ken doll.

Jk, but seriously.

You guys had a fight a whole week ago about his haircut. All you said was that he should cut it a little because it was growing into his eyes and he gasps like you’ve just murdered his whole family.

Yeah, he’s dramatic.

So, the next time you ask him to pick you up from work? Well, he’s obviously playing this song and he’s actually jamming to it.

He’s wearing sunglasses and staring at you like he’s staring into your soul.

He only sings the Ken parts and points at you at the Barbie parts like he expects you to actually sing back.

You’re so embarrassed because everyone is staring.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows the obvious implications of the song so all the older people around are mildly horrified.

“C’mon, Barbie. Let’s go home,” Oikawa says, winking.

You’ve never wanted to murder your husband as bad as you do right now.

Matsukawa – Skibidi by Little Big

First off, go watch the music video if you haven’t.

. . is this even a surprise?

Your husband is chaotic and he probably forced you to learn the dance with him. You both will randomly turn it on at inopportune moments and fully expect the other person to start the dance (someone do this with me).

You shouldn’t be surprised when your husband pulls up, looking innocent, before beginning to blare the song with all the windows rolled down.

Suddenly he looks like a maniac with the way he’s grinning.

Your jaw drops to the ground and you just stand there for a moment in shock.

Your face is bright red but you’re smiling stubbornly as you begin the horrific dance.

Matsukawa laughs. He literally gets out of the car and starts dancing with you like an idiot.

Everyone is watching in awe and honestly they should be jealous that you guys have so much fun.

Best husband.

Hanamaki – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers

This is probably a common occurrence honestly. This bitch is chaotic as shit so if you think he wasn’t going to be harassing you every time he picks you up then you’re wrong.

At this point it’s just a challenge to see how far he can go.

Pulls up blaring this song and rolls down the window revealing him to be wearing a beach-themed button up (ya know, the classic dad ones) and he’s smirking like a fucking maniac.

Points at you just before the chorus.

You’re smiling like an idiot because he’s just so stupid and lovable.

“I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE~!!”

He’s screaming so loud that you can’t believe his vocal chords haven’t snapped.

Maki starts doing the rope-pull thing and you play along and go to the car.

Yes, you guys sit in the parking lot screaming that song together until it ends.

Honestly, everyone at your workplace just thinks your husband is the coolest guy ever.

Daisho – Daddy by PSY

Probably thought he was the funniest guy on the face of the Earth when he pulled up to your job blaring this song. He looks like a real cool guy, too.

Sunglasses, short-sleeved shirt to show off muscular biceps, slicked hair.

Ya man has the whole shebang.

You just stare at him, jaw dropped when Daisho turns to you with a smirk. He’s nudges his sunglasses down a little to look at you over the rim.

“Hey, babe,” he greets, too casually for your liking.

The music is so loud that you barely even hear him.

His smirk only stretches wider when he sees your growing embarrassment.

“C’mon, you like my body, just admit it!” he calls.

You get into the car before he can keep talking. You quickly roll up your window but the other three are still down and you know in your heart that there’s no escaping your husband’s will to embarrass you.

“I’ll get payback.”

“Sure you will, babe.”