#having a very normal and mentally sound evening don’t you worry about me

[monamipencil]

🧍‍♀️i can't even describe my emotional state rn

i was so happy to read pt.2. i thought it'd be happy. v, you weren't lying when you said angst, no comfort. THIS HURTS. THIS IS SO ANGSTY BUT ALSO SO SOFT, AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TYPE OF EMOTION I FEEL ATP

but my god, your writing skills??? i love that so much. and i love LOVE your world building. this was so fun to read. i can't wait to read more from you!!

annotations;

avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.

oooh, this makes me curious

Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.

🧍‍♀️it does make sense honey, you're just in denial.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.” He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.

ow ow ow, ok. that cut, deep.

How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?

since when have you used your brain? (yes im insulting him, how dare he?)

Jeonghan missed you.

THIS IS ANGSTY BUT ALSO SOFT AHHHHHH

The pull. The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.

your descriptions >>>> i actually felt the pull. v, i love your writing

The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.

IT MAKES SENSE, YOU IDIOT

A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.

lmfao. i love her 🫶

“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.

he's worried.

“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”

HE'S WORRIED. eating my fist rn, this is soo ughhhh, adorable and heart breaking at the same time. idek what emotion im feeling atp.

You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.

PONYTAIL JEONGHAN ?!?!

You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.

this is ... domestic and soft.

With a sigh, you walked inside the room.  “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.

qsadfghjnmhngbfrdszghyjuhn, AHHHHHH-wait, you guys have fucked countless times.

Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”

HE'S WORRIED WHAT IF I THROW MYSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW

“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”

me when a man does the bare minimum, but my bar is in hell.

“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.

oh ... 🧍‍♀️she's down bad

Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.

IT MAKES SENSE HEXSBKNDFMGFHGVFCDSFGH YOU IDIOT

“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.

lmfao, this guy is slick

He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.

fuck, this is so domestic, and soft, and cute, and lovely, and sweet, and-i can't.

Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅

“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”

🧍‍♀️she's just down bad, ok? go easy on her.

By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.

asdfghjkl i love this. so angsty and so soft, and i dont even what the fuck im feeling

“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”

AHHHHHHWDSNHAOVFUBRHJL DFCVMDSCVBNHDNHTBGFVDC AH YOON JEONGHAN THE MAN YOU ARE

Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.

But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?

fucking hell, oh he fucking did.

“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear. “I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.” “I’ll be mad at you.” “I ache for you,”

“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?” “Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”

this is my live reaction. im actually dead, this is my soul typing

“I won’t do it again,” “That’s it… that’s my girl,”

WTF OMG IM JUST A GIRL, I CANT- I CAN'T

“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”

say it. SAY IT

“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly. It made perfect sense.

im killing myself if my soulmate goes through stages of grief instead of happiness when it is revealed.

Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.

well, what do you expect? this is the third time, SHE'S DOWN BAD

“I like you the way you are.”

oh my FUCKING GOD I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

“Don’t go,” he mumbled. Fool. He was a fool.

whyyyyy NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

FOR ONCE, JUST ONCE, WHY CNA'T THEY BE HAPPY

the traitor | yoon jeonghan

› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: demon hunter jeonghan, supernatural au, demon reader › genres: angst, smut (18+) › word count: 8.4k

› 🎧: mood – dpr ian | shameless – yuni | symphony – highvyn ft. jey | read your mind – meloh | dive – jooyoung | dead man running – seulgi | for us – v | moonstruck – enhypen | war-r-r – colde

› this one shot is part 2 of the curse - hannieween fest

› warnings after the cut! READ THEM CAREFULLY 🗣️

› warnings: smut with plot, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex (both receivers), pussy drunk jeonghan, cockdrunk reader, cum swallowing, creampies, cowgirl, mating press. pet names: baby, baby demon (hers)

› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

› author's note: this is part two of my demon hunter hannie! hehe i loved writing it sm and thought to give you a follow-up part!

› additional note: this isn't proofread

the traitor

JEONGHAN WAS WOKEN UP BY A TINGLING FEELING. As a hunter, he needed to pay attention to a few things, like sudden surges of emotions. Hunches. Tingling sensations were not particularly something he would consider in the bunch. But alas.

He pushed himself up, swinging his legs at the rim of the bed and stared at his knees for a long second. He took a deep breath, rubbing his leg. It was pointless, he thought when he could not find a reason to leave his bed in the middle of the night.

But being a hunter also meant he needed to be on high alert nearly all the time. In his experience, sometimes it was a good idea to pay attention to those moments when nothing made sense at all, such as this.

Sucking in a breath, he got up, stretching his arms over his head as he went over to the small bathroom, avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.

Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.

Needless to say, he was exercising all of his will not to go back to you.

Stop trying to make sense of everything.

After that, he debated whether to go back to bed or not. He could take a bottle, try to numb his senses and finally get a good night of sleep. But he needed to stay sharp.

It was a lost game. He got dressed, throwing his pair of black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Finally strapping his chest harness on with his knife. Going out in the middle of the night meant to him that he was out for blood.

That was his way to distract himself.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.

Jeonghan let out a long exhale as he wandered through the night. The streets of the town were completely deserted, he knew he would have to stay out for some hours before he found a target.

These nights, he had been hunting until he travelled three towns over. All because he cannot find it in himself to sleep, he has to fight the urge to seek you out somehow.

Maybe this will be the night he breaks.

There was nothing in this town. It was too safe, too clean. He knew it would not be long until he had to move to a different town and start over. He had been commissioned to travel to different parts of the globe to find something to hunt down, so maybe he was doing his job right.

So why did he come back to this shitty town? 

Something spiked in his nightly walk. There was something unusual in the air and it was not good. Jeonghan had really good senses, but his intuition was something that discerned him from the rest. Sometimes, people would tell him that his intuition was something out of the ordinary for hunters. So he paid more attention to that rather than his other senses.

He subconsciously rubbed his leg and caught his hand just as it dawned on him.

“Jeonghan, don’t go.”

Fear set in, and adrenaline kicked in as he started for a run. He had been stupid. So fucking stupid. How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?

Jeonghan knew the town by heart, but he could travel to your apartment with his eyes closed. Countless were the nights he stumbled upon your front door, burdened with misery all over. This cannot be the way he finds you dead.

“No, no, no, no…” he had been repeating the word like a prayer as he climbed through a labyrinth of stairs, panting, sweating until he burst the door open, already knowing you would not be there.

He called your name, either way, his voice bouncing back the walls. There was something off. A glass was shattered, pushed against the corner of the room. One of the chairs was drawn back, in the middle of the way. Jeonghan painted a scene of what could have gone down.

You were probably having the bowl of cereal that was abandoned on the table when the other hunter burst in. Jeonghan could not catch the scent of the other hunter, so that meant whoever that was, they masked themselves well.

No, you would have felt his presence before he could even breathe in your direction. Even if you were young, you were not completely inexperienced in the world of hunters. He made sure of that.

Another possibility was that you were asleep when the other hunter came. The sheets of your bed were tossed to one side. Jeonghan crouched next to the mattress, a terrible feeling sinking inside him upon getting your scent lingering on the pillowcases.

Jeonghan missed you.

“Where are you?” he whispered, closing his eyes to focus on your scent.

You smelled like freshly picked flowers. The smell he would get in the early morning after a night of rain. The fact that you did not smell like death, or blood made it hard for him to focus sometimes.

He opened his eyes, his focus falling on the open window. Then, he knew why he could not make a story from his surroundings. He had been wrong to assume it was just one hunter.

Someone had also come through the window. You were trapped from the beginning. His chest contracted painfully. But somehow he knew you were not dead yet. Have you been taken? For what end?

The possibilities were endless. Even if hunters had a long history of hating demons, some of them were missing some screws in their heads too.

Jeonghan needed to find you, soon.

Making his way down the stairs, part of him wondered why try at all. He could be rid of you once and for all. He could probably turn a blind eye to this and wait for your name to appear on the ledges. He would be free from the fucking pull that lead him to you every time.

The pull.

The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.

Jeonghan had refused that feeling ever since he met you, thinking it was some kind of trick you played on him. Silly little hunter got all wrapped in a demon’s finger.

But if he dared to give in to the pull, everything smelled of you. Every gulp of air he took as he walked in the direction his senses told him, he saw your face, your teary eyes as he walked away. Fool, he was a fool.

He was led to the forest, the same path he had gone through when he saw you last. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he should go back and hunt you down.

But then he heard noises, leaves rustling, and a small intake of breath. The sweet way you drew air into your lungs.

He thought of risking calling your name, but he did not know if the hunters were around. So he just followed the sound of your movements until he could get his sight on you.

You could barely walk right. Something had brought you to your knees, your arms were shaking as you forced yourself to stand up, with a low grunt.

Jeonghan called your name this time, making you lift your head.

He stopped abruptly at the sight of something shiny in your fist.

“Don’t move,” you said, punctuating each word painfully.

“What happened?” he asked, his tone declining in sickening worry, his gaze coasted at each of your limbs, zeroing in on your thigh. The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.

“Step back, Jeonghan,” you panted in pain, raising the knife at him when he made a motion toward you.

“You didn’t notice me coming,” he muttered, analyzing the situation quickly. He sent his gaze around, seeing if there were signs that there was someone lurking by. “Let me take a look at that.”

“How did you find me?” you asked, letting yourself plop back to the ground, letting go of the knife.

Jeonghan got to your side, dropping to his knees to look at your thigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, eyeing you. “I’m going to touch you now.”

You nodded and braced yourself for the searing pain in your leg. “Two hunters came for me,” you said, clenching your jaw tightly to resist the pain throbbing in your skin, around the gaping hole that was turning black.

“I know,” he said, examining the open wound. “Did they stab you?”

You shook your head twice. “They were using a crossbow. Silver arrows,” you explained despite the need to rest your head on the ground and sleep through it. “I feel dizzy.”

Jeonghan shot you a look. He was worried. “It’s the poison, they must’ve poisoned the arrows to neutralize you,” he said at once. “What did you do to the arrow?”

“I used it on one of them,” you replied with half a smirk that slowly vanished as Jeonghan started to press on the wound, seeing any signs of anything odd or unfamiliar.

“Sorry,” he breathed as you tensed in pain. “I need to see if there’s anything in there,” he explained, but what did not satiate the doubts running in his mind.

“I can’t heal it,” you repeated and now he could see that beneath the pain and the need to deflect it with humour, you were scared.

“I know, I know,” he told you, giving you a stern look. “I can help you but you’ll have to be quiet.”

“Are you missing this opportunity to gag me?” you quipped but your tone was made weak by the fear of feeling pain.

Demons were used to pain, yes. But you were a fairly young demon and lived for most of your life in the human world. Such pain was not welcome for you.

“Breathe,” he instructed and used his hands on your thigh to squeeze the blood that had gone black and tacky around the wound.

You gritted your teeth, writhing in pain on the cold ground. “Stop, stop, stop,” you cried out, trying to get his hands off you.

But Jeonghan was quicker, and stronger than you at that moment. He did not deter from his task to squeeze the poisoned blood out of you despite your desperate cries for him to stop.

You lied, nearly limp from the exhaustion the pain had put you through. A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.

“I’m not done yet, I need pressure on the wound,” he said, moving back to unfasten his belt with his bloodied hands. He strapped the belt around your upper thigh, forming a tight tourniquet.

“Hurry,” you said through heavy breaths. As you eased your back on the ground, Jeonghan caught sight of the dark wings splayed beneath your body, a clear sign that you could not conceal yourself any further.

Jeonghan made no comment about the weakened state you were in. A knot was set in his stomach upon realizing that you were dying. He grabbed one of the vials he kept in his hunter’s belt, it contained a white liquid. “This is going to sting a little,” he murmured, unstoppering the vial with his mouth and not pausing before pouring the antidote on your open wound.

Your hand flew to clench at his wrist, letting out a scream that was quickly muffled by his hand clasped in your mouth.

“I’m nearly done,” he said with a composure that you could see through. Beneath that, Jeonghan was worried you would not make it.

“Am I going to be all right?” you asked in a daze, slurring out your words.

“Drink this,” he pressed the vial to your lips, pouring the rest down your tongue, which you gulped willfully, it tasted like white vinegar.

You rested your head on the ground, taking slow and deep breaths as though you had just finished running a marathon.

“You’re going to be all right,” he said after a quick examination of the wound. “But you’ll need to feed soon.”

“Right,” you mumbled in understanding. By feeding, Jeonghan did not mean human food. Although you could eat human food just all right, it did not sustain what your soul craved.

He meant sins. You needed to feed off human sin. They made you stronger, and faster. They gave you the fuel needed to fight hunters. Going off sins for a while made you just as strong as an average human.

“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.

“Been busy,” you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.

The last thing you heard was Jeonghan mumbling, “We’ll need to move soon,” before you fell into a deep sleep on a floor covered by dead leaves. 

Upon regaining consciousness, you noticed with some slowness that you were not surrounded by trees, and you were moving. Your wings were cradling you, so that meant your horns were on sight too.

You tensed up, drawing in a shaky breath, palming your body in search of the knife that you stole from your attackers.

“Easy,” Jeonghan murmured next to you, a hand on the wheel, the other on the shift stick.

“Where are we?” you said, looking around.

“Radewood town,” he replied nonchalantly, eyes set forward on the road.

“Why?” you asked slowly, hiding your wings, from his view, then your horns.

“How’s your leg?” he asked instead, glancing at your thigh.

The wound had stopped bleeding, it was no longer oozing that black substance that had Jeonghan looking worried. You hissed painfully upon searching it with your fingers. The blood had dried, but it was not healing at the speed you would normally have.

“It hurts,” you mumbled, biting your bottom lip. “It’s not healing.”

Jeonghan nodded. “You need to feed,” he reminded you with the same tone of reprimand of earlier.

“Well, I fled without stopping to grab my purse so,” you sighed. “I don’t have money.”

“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”

You blinked slowly at him and shook your head after deciding that there was no answer that would please him. “I have–,”

“Don’t say you have been busy,” he cut in.

“Well, it’s the truth,” you said with a clear tone that gave away your lie.

But Jeonghan could feel it. Whenever you told a lie, there was a change in the air that only he could notice as a hunter. No human could ever detect your lies, only people like him.

“You know I know when you’re lying,” he said flatly, throwing you a dark look.

“Be content with that,” you bit back. “I’m not telling you anything else.”

Jeonghan shook his head, deciding not to press any further on the matter. He licked his lips, filling his lungs with the fresh midnight air that swept in through his rolled window.

“Jeonghan,” you called softly and did not proceed with your question until he glanced your way. “Why are you helping me?”

Jeonghan turned on a different street again, checking his rearview mirror, pretending to ready his answer. “I don’t know,” he replied.

There it was the empty void extending between you and him. If he lied, you would have sensed it too.

“How did you find me?” you pressed, trying to the best of your ability to analyze him. You were still weak, but you could still observe him despite your foggy brain.

“I don’t know,” he repeated with a low tone that barely cut through the noise of the engine of the car.

It made no sense. The way he found you in the woods was not done with any of his training. He simply closed his eyes and let him be taken to you. He did not even think twice as he carried your body to his car and started it, taking you far away from the town where you would be at risk of being hunted down.

“We have to lay low for now,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes as he cut the engine on an empty parking lot.

You raised your gaze to the motel sign, flaring in red neon light. “Is this your version of laying low?” you said with a sarcastic huff. “We could’ve done that back in the forest.”

Jeonghan opened the door, not bothering to look at you or give you a reply. “Stay here.”

You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.

You could run away. You did not know if Jeonghan was even aware of this. Maybe he was, you had a bad leg, and you were growing weaker.

Plus, there was the fact that he was now aware that he could trace you with his eyes closed.

You swallowed hard, waiting for him in the passenger seat of his old Mustang. You were going nowhere.

Some minutes later, you saw Jeonghan exiting the building and walking towards your door, which he opened to retrieve his belongings, which were his belt and his knife.

“This way,” he mumbled, motioning to one of the doors with a jerk of his head.

Reluctantly, you exited the car, closing the door behind you. Jeonghan turned and walked over to the door, introducing the key, and opening it for you.

You knew better than to fight it. There was a quiet storm brewing in the man’s head, and you were in its eye. You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.

With a sigh, you walked inside the room.  “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.

“I didn’t think you would mind,” he froze by the doorframe.

“Whatever,” you waved a hand dismissively before he could offer to change it.

As soon as Jeonghan closed the doors and the blinds, you started to the bathroom, taking all of your clothes off in front of him. You made no invitation, no offer but you still left the door open, the sound of the shower filling the tiny room.

Jeonghan made another small inspection, looking out of the window through the blinds before deciding to relax. He took his jacket off, leaving it neatly by the chair that was pushed to one corner of the room. He took his boots off, sitting down on the chair with a low grunt of exhaustion.

As he sat up straight, he caught sight of his hand, only noticing because he had started moving it, rubbing his palm on the exact spot where you had been injured.

“What the fuck?” he whispered to himself, raising his gaze as you returned to the bathroom, wholly naked, pressing a towel to your hair.

“You okay, hunter?” you eyed him curiously, like a cat that just noticed a flashy light.  

Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”

“Here we go again,” you rolled your eyes but continued towel-drying your hair without bothering to respond.

“Answer me,” he muttered when you turned your back on him. Your reluctance to answer his question might have given him the answer.

“The last time we saw each other,” you said, your words echoing his own thoughts.

“Why?” the word was sharp like it took everything in him to suppress the dark emotion pulling on his every nerve. “That happened months ago.”

“Why do you care so much?” you spat, turning around to face him.

The question seemed to make him return to his senses, his eyes flickered with an emotion that you were to weak to catch. “I don’t,” he replied, stepping back from his initial anger.

“I’ll feed whenever I want to,” you said and this time you did not lie.

Jeonghan stood up, commanding your gaze to lift up to find his. “So you’re not hungry?”

You bit your tongue. Your eyes were dead, and despite the hot shower you had just taken, you were cold to the touch as Jeonghan curiously raised a hand to your shoulder. It was pointless, your plan had crashed and burned miserably.

“I’ve heard stories…” you whispered, closing your eyes to repel the sensation firing inside you. “Stories of ways a demon can become human. You can’t become human if you’re feeding off them, right?”

When Jeonghan did not reply, nor move you opened your eyes again. He was still rigid in the same trance he had been upon finding you injured and bleeding in the forest.

“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”

You brushed his hand off. “I knew you’d say that,” you whispered with a pained look, turning around to sit down on the bed.  

“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.

“Not your business, Jeonghan,” you replied impishly, throwing the towel to him, which he saw coming, catching it with ease.

“It is if you’re running away with me,” he said. Your temptation to feed could become dangerous. And he was toeing that line too deliberately.

“I didn’t choose to run away with you,” you bit back with an indignant huff.

“That’s the thanks I get?” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “What was I supposed to do, then? Leave you to die? To be found by them?”

He did not need to explain who he referred to. The two hunters must have noticed that Jeonghan ran away with his things, his car, leaving an empty place behind. And you are nowhere to be found. He was a traitor.

“Maybe,” you whispered, lowering your gaze to your lap. You skirted the pads of your fingers around the wound that still refused to heal completely.

Jeonghan stood before you, using a hand on your chin to force your teary eyes on him. A finger scooped your tear as it rolled down your cheek. The tear glistened on the pad of his thumb as he showed it to you, a shocked expression plastered on his face.

Demons felt emotions, yes. But nothing like sorrow. Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.

“It’s possible, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily, letting your tears flow freely.

“Humans are weak. They get sick, they die. Besides, the guilt of everything you’ve done as a demon will crush you,” he said, dropping his hand from your chin. “Why would you want something like that?”

“I’m done talking,” you said childishly, turning over to draw the covers of the bed and tucked yourself in. “Goodnight.”

He blinked perplexedly at you. The best option was to wait for another opportunity to bring up the matter, but for now, he needed to rest. He disposed of his chest harness, and his knives, leaving them on the old and battered bedside table, where he could reach out if needed.

A smile threatened to break on his face when you turned slightly at the sound of him taking his pants off, then his long-sleeved t-shirt, discarding his clothes at the foot of the bed.

He paused, tugging the band of his black boxers with his fingers. He took them off, making things fair.

“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.

“Just playing your game,” he said, tugging the hair tie loose before lying his head on the pillow next to yours.

“I’m not playing any games,” you huffed with annoyance, turning over so your back was to him once again.

There it was the ripple in the air between you and him. Jeonghan did not need to comment on it, but you hated it.

Hunter abilities or not, Jeonghan would be able to read through your lies blindfolded. He was just that good at reading people, reading you.

Jeonghan stared at the ceiling, his heartbeat going a mile per hour, like a bird’s wings batting frantically inside his chest. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge pushing him to raise his hand at you, to reach out and touch your skin.

You closed your eyes, commanding yourself to sleep. But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan’s scent was too distracting. The hunger caved a hole deep inside you. It was no ordinary hunger, it was one that had your soul twisting.

You balled your hands into fists, sinking your face into the pillow. His lust was nearly palpable, looming over you like a monster preying on you.

However, you were too weak to actually act upon it. Soon, you fell asleep, not noticing when or how.

Jeonghan however, was too riddled with questions to do the same. He turned his head on the pillow, seeing your wet hair, your naked shoulder. His thigh throbbed in something that reminded him of pain, though his flesh was fine and did not hurt.

Why would you want to become human? What could be a good enough reason to want to abandon your life full of pleasures? It made no sense. Jeonghan had never heard of a demon becoming human, but he saw you crying, so that must mean that it could be done.

Still, it meant that there was a price to be paid. There always was.

Wandering through endless questions, Jeonghan fell asleep. Now and then he was reminded of your presence in the bed, feeling your warmth or hearing you move beneath the sheets.

Even if he were not a light sleeper, the distraction of your warmth was enough to stir him awake. He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.

And he was hard. Fuck, he was so hard it was starting to become annoying. It would be so easy to slip himself inside your pussy, waking you up in the process. He had done it countless times before.

He let out a silent sigh through his nose, only getting the scent of your hair when he breathed in. Your hand found his arm parked on the curve of your waist, you were awake. Jeonghan pressed himself another inexistent inch further, his hard cock wedged on your ass.

“Jeonghan,” you mumbled sleepily, turning over to see him. You threw him an innocent look, big eyes, pouting lips. “What are you doing?”

He responded by giving you a confused look. In other times, you would not even ask questions, you would just let him take you, take whatever he wanted, for however long.

Jeonghan brought a hand to your chin, his touch igniting your skin, making you blink dumbly. “How long are you going to keep resisting it?” the words flew out of his mouth before he could even comprehend his own question.

But he knew what you were doing. He was an expert in pushing his feelings down, particularly, he knew what it felt like to resist this pull.

“However long is necessary, Jeonghan,” you replied, but your tone wavered in the urge to press yourself against his hand, to feel him.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes skirting through your reaction. He knew you wanted this, why were you refusing him?

“If I keep this for long I might get what I want,” you whispered, avoiding his eyes in utter shame.

“Why do you want to become human so desperately?” he asked again, looking at you with an obfuscation that was hard to mask.

You shrugged, keeping your sunken gaze on his chiselled chest. “That doesn’t concern you.”

Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”

Your brow furrowed, your gaze darkening. Feeling like you were being mocked, your eyes watered again. “Fuck off, Jeonghan,” you scoffed weakly, trying to free yourself from his grip.

He did not want to see it, but your reaction told him everything he needed to know. It took him some seconds to shake the perplexion off. It made no sense. “Did you think that being human would change things?”

You made no verbal reply, scoffing as you brushed his hand off you one more time.

But you knew him well enough to expect that would not work on him. He needed an answer now, and he would stop at nothing to get it now that he knew it fully concerned him.

“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”

“No, Jeonghan,” you rolled your eyes, but he could see how much his questions had pierced through you. “Quite the opposite.”

He made a motion to pull his head back on the pillow as if that gave him a better frame of your face. “What?”

“I want this to stop,” you whispered, rolling over the bed to sit up with a sigh.

Jeonghan looked at your back, you let your head drop forward, sniffling softly but you were fully crying now.

“Maybe being human will make this stop,” you whispered, motioning a hand between his body and yours. By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.

Jeonghan sat up too, trying to read any signs of your words being insincere. But he found nothing, the quiet tension falling in the room startled him, and it made him uncomfortable. Even more, the battering inside his chest was making it difficult to even breathe.

“That makes no sense,” he mumbled with a hollow tone.

“It makes perfect sense,” you bit back, throwing him a sad look.

You were weak, nearing a state that you did not comprehend. Becoming human meant that you also had to deal with human emotions, and they were flowing freely through you, giving you a taste of what you were about to face as a human.

However, making yourself human condemned you to a myriad of threats. Not just mortality. You would become a demon that betrayed its own kind. A traitor, too.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, trying to hold your gaze to read you better.

“I want to be rid of you by whatever means necessary,” you hissed, coating your words with venom.

“Liar.”

There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and before you resorted to a crazed fit of violence, you decided to crush your mouth with his, kissing him with enough vehemence it would hurt him if he were human.

But he was tough enough to take you. He released a grunt in your mouth that was from half arousal, half annoyance at you.

“You’re a baby,” he grunted between hard kisses. “A bratty, fussy, melodramatic demon.”

“Shut up, Jeonghan,” you hissed. “Shut up or I swear–,”

“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”

“Don’t try me right now,” you said, kissing him repeatedly you were running out of breath.

“That’s exactly what I want to do,” he chuckled. “Did you think that making yourself human would make me stop wanting you?”

“Yes,” you hissed, pushing him back onto the bed with all the strength you had.

Jeonghan was stronger than you at that moment, but he allowed you to handle him with a triumphant smirk on his face. Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.

Though it made him curious to know. “Do you want to stop wanting me, then?” he leaned his head to his shoulder.

“It would be nice to stop craving you all the time,” you said, sinking your face in the crook of his neck to kiss him.

“Liar,” he grunted, holding your hips as you made a trail of kisses down his beautifully scarred chest. “Even worse, you’re a masochistic one at that.”

The guilty giggle escaping through your lips gave him all the reassurance he needed. You were now soaking up his need for you.

“Gods,” he breathed when your lips reached his hipbone. Your touch would never satiate the craving need inside him, but this night he would at least attempt to.

His fingers tangled in your hair, keeping his grip light but it would become difficult as you gave him a long lick from his ball sack to the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” he gritted, tensing as you wrapped your mouth around the bulbous head of his cock. “Yes, baby, just like that.”

The room fell silent again, but now all that surrounded you and him was lust and bliss. It had your blood revelling, sizzling beneath your skin to take him into your mouth. His fingers thread in your hair, caressing you as you bobbed your head up and down on him, sucking him off eagerly. You were tasting him, not only his skin, his arousal, but his lust. It drove you crazy.

“Gods, I fucking missed you,” he drawled, closing his eyes briefly before he lost all control. He wanted to push his hips, to drive his cock into your throat. But he also wanted to take this patiently.

You explored him with your mouth, just like your hands were exploring his body. Not that his nakedness was new to you, but you had just gone months without touching him. And not for a single second did you forget the taste of him, you also missed him.

But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?

Your transition from demon to human was painful, and you were throwing it all away in one night. And Jeonghan was willingly letting you feed off his lust, you were relishing the taste of his greed, sucking off the last bit of the self-restraint he had in him.

His fingers curled around your hair, clenching his jaw as he moaned in pure pleasure. He let out a gasp when your tongue swirled around his cockhead. “Keep doing that, baby,” he said languidly, following the movements of your head on him.

A strangled moan bubbled in your mouth, and you followed his command, rolling your tongue around his blunt head.

Jeonghan smirked knowingly. You weakened whenever he treated you with softness, so words like baby drove you crazy. He threw a look down at his body, capturing your eyes, darkened with a lascivious greed that only fueled his. “Touch yourself,” he said with a gruff tone. “I want you to come with me.”

You sneaked a hand between your thighs, moaning salaciously when your fingers stroked your clit.

Jeonghan sighed, blinking slowly at the sight of you, thinking of your drenched pussy, your fingers coated in your arousal as you rubbed fast swirls around your clit. “That’s it, baby, just like that,” he praised, brushing your hair back with his long fingers. “You’re such a good girl for me, you don’t even know it.”

You moaned around his cock again, succumbing to a fast orgasm, your body trembled slightly.

“Coming,” he whispered, his mouth falling open as ropes of cum spurted down your throat, moaning at the sight of you drinking him off completely, licking to the last bead of his cum. You littered the reddened cockhead with sweet pecks trailing down to his shaft, eliciting a raw chuckle from him.

“That was amazing,” he whispered, enjoying the twinkle in your dark eyes upon being praised by him.

Jeonghan sat up, hooking one arm around your waist to throw you back onto the mattress. “Your turn,” he said with a wolfish grin.

You had recuperated the color in your cheeks, but you were still weak enough to fight his strength. You grunted as your head hit the pillows, but returned the smile at him. “You’ll see when I get my strength back.”

“Ooh, scary,” he said, grazing his lips on yours.

“You’ll see,” you remarked.

“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear.

“I’ll make you suffer,” you mumbled faintly, closing your eyes as his lips reached the underside of your jaw, making you tilt your head back for him.

“I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.”

You sighed a moan when he kissed your throat, giving you a broad stroke with his tongue, tracing your collarbones. “Jeonghan…”

“Don’t throw another tantrum like that again,” he murmured against your skin, leaving another kiss on the plain of your breasts, before adding, “I’ll be mad at you.”

A spark of wrath got mixed along with greed and lust, it was not new to you, but it was rare.

“It wasn’t a tantrum,” you argued, though your tone was made weak by his lips, his tongue licking one of your nipples, making you arch your back.

He paused, “I don’t care,” he decided at once. “You’re not doing it again.”

“You don’t get to decide what I do, Jeonghan,” you mumbled breathily, moaning as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, suckling at it softly once, then swirling the tip of his tongue around it.

Jeonghan did not respond verbally to your obvious lie. He did not have a say in your choices, but there was a force greater than him or you that tied you to him. So every choice you made, every choice he made, was bound to affect you both.

“How’s your leg?” he asked, moving your thighs gently to slot his waist between them. His fingers traced a circle around the scar that was beginning to form.

“Better,” you sighed.

“Mmn,” he smirked at you, leaning over to kiss your lips. “Will it heal completely by the time I’m done eating you out?”

“Why, are you in a rush?” you quipped, arching an eyebrow at him.

There you were, he smirked. “I ache for you,” he whispered, letting his forehead fall upon yours. The shame coursing through him made you recoil but sensing it, he added quickly: “You have not only starved yourself but starved me with your stupid little plan.”

“You avoided me too,” you accused.

“I know, I was a fool,” he confessed, running his palms all over your body as if he could not do anything else. He sank down, leaving wet kisses down your tummy, his hands palming your breasts, his fingers lingering on your sensitive nipples.

You bit your lip, only in your most crazed fantasies did you dare to imagine him saying this. “You were,” you whispered. “The biggest fool.”

“Uh-huh,” he hummed, kissing your mound generously, his hands grabbing your thighs with the lightest of touches before licking your pussy with a broad stroke.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, brushing his dark hair gently as he ate you out like a starved man, licking your folds thoroughly, his tongue sliding up to your clit to then suckle at it.

You arched your back, not caring about the light pain throbbing on your thigh. Jeonghan was giving you everything you needed, giving your pussy open-mouthed kisses, drinking your arousal in with pleased moans.

“Fuck-k,” you gritted weakly, letting yourself be swept away by the gentle waves of your orgasm building inside you. “I m-missed you too, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.

He raised his gaze to yours, blinking slowly at you, pressing his tongue on your swollen clit, moving it swiftly in figure-eight motions, driving you to the edge. You gripped the bedsheets with one hand, the other flying to grab at the railings of the headboard.

“I’m close,” you gasped, breathing rapidly, welcoming the pleasure barreling through your body. “I’m close, I’m–, Jeonghan…” you closed your eyes, repeating his name over and over as you climaxed in his mouth.

But Jeonghan was not stopping. He continued making out with your pussy, enjoying the taste of your arousal pooling in your entrance, licking your folds with raunchy moans. His hands held you down as you shook with the aftershocks of your orgasm, caressing your tummy languidly.

“Jeonghan,” you called, shuddering when his hand caressed your thigh as he littered it with kisses.

“See? Healed,” he placed another kiss, right where your scar used to be.

You used your newly regained strength to push him, flipping the positions over so you were now straddling him. You let out a pleased sigh, effortlessly pinning his body down on the mattress.

“I take that you’re all set now,” he smirked, his hands roving all over your thighs.

Gods, you were a sight to behold. Your wings were at full display, resting freely at your sides. Your dark horns, curving back from the crown of your head, were on sight too. That meant you were comfortable around Jeonghan. You trusted him.

“Not yet,” you said, grabbing his hardened cock in one hand, planting the other on his abdomen for support as you eased your pussy down his length.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, his hands flying to grab your hips as you started rolling them on him.

“What’s wrong, hunter?” you teased, leaning down so your face was close enough to prop kisses on his lips. “Lost your footing?”

“You got me for a second there,” he admitted with a smirk. “Didn’t think you’d recuperate your strength that quickly.”

“Mm, keep that in mind next time you kiss it better,” you said, trapping his bottom lip with your teeth, nibbling it softly.

Jeonghan moaned, your hips picking up the pace mercilessly, knowing the exact pace and motion that drove him insane. He closed his eyes, sighing out the euphoric feeling of being with you, like this, consuming each other.

“It won’t happen again. You’re not doing this to yourself again,” he said with a faint tone.

“You don’t make choices for me,” you retaliated, sinking yourself down on him with pleased sighs, planting your hands on his chiselled chest.

In a blur, Jeonghan grabbed your wrists with one hand flipping your bodies over, pinning your body with his hips on yours, his hand holding your arms above your head. Jeonghan moved his hips slightly, finding your entrance with his hard cock quite effortlessly.

Jeonghan gave a few shallow thrusts, stretching your walls, making your mouth part, giving way to a long moan. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you groaned lewdly.

“Say it,” he hissed, rolling his hips on yours slowly, but pushing his cock inside you deeper each time he thrusted in. “You won’t do it again.”

“Fuck you,” you gritted, falling deeper into the puddle of pleasure he was slowly submitting you into.

“Say. It,” he commanded, his thrusts gaining strength, becoming harder at each motion of his hips on yours.

You wrestled his grip on your wrists, without using your full strength. “No,” you said with a hollow tone, the pace of his thrusts knocking the wind out of you.

“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

“Stop,” you gasped, shame heating your cheeks.

Jeonghan released his grip on your wrists, not letting you regain control by grabbing your thighs, throwing them on his shoulders before resuming with his near animalistic thrusts, groaning on your mouth as such, like an animal.

“Jeonghan!” you cried out, his cock reaching inside you deeper… and deeper.

“Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”

“Jeonghan…” you moaned.

“Say it.”

“I won’t do it again,” you said, trembling on the bed, reaching out to hold him right before you came undone beneath him.

“That’s it… that’s my girl,” he gasped, his bottom lip parting, releasing a raw grunt. Jeonghan moaned your name as he came, fucking his cum inside you with sloppy thrusts until he stopped, breathing hard on top of you.

Jeonghan eased your legs from his shoulders, deciding to rest his head on your chest. The sound of your heartbeat resonated through his head as he took a long breath. Your fingers caressed his nape lazily, shuddering under him when Jeonghan ran a fingertip on one of your wings.

This made no sense. To Jeonghan, everything had been black and white. His world was rigid, surrounded by unbreakable rules that made him into the person he was until he met you. Now, he was but the shadow of the man he was. He used to hate himself for wanting you. You were the thing he was raised to hate, to kill.

He did everything to keep you away. He bedded other women, he drank himself to sleep to not dream of you, he flew himself to different parts of the world.

And there he was, blissfully nestled in your warmth, in your embrace.

“Would you hate it if I became human?”

“No,” he replied after some seconds. “But I don’t want you to do it because you think that’s going to change something between us. Some things aren’t meant to change.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked with a tiny tone.

Jeonghan raised his head, curiously looking at you. Even back with full strength, you still clung to some human vulnerability. “I’m not sure,” he confessed. “I don’t understand many things. But I know that changing yourself won’t bring you happiness, only misery.”

“I’m just tired of this,” you said, and it did not matter that you could not cry anymore, he knew that the statement hurt to say.

Jeonghan got to his knees, pulling out of you gently to slump his body next to yours. He took one long look at you, reminiscing of what he felt when he knew you were slipping away. It was fear, that was undeniable, he was too familiar with that feeling. But never like this.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said with a light frown.

“How did you find me, Jeonghan? How did you know I was in trouble?” you dared to ask again, now your words taking another meaning.

Jeonghan paused. “I just did,” he said but rolled his eyes when you saw through his lie. “I felt something.”

“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”

He went rigid, his eyes coasting all over the features of your face.

“Have you ever tried to… kill me?” you asked, hating how your words came off while lying naked next to him.

“You’d know it if I had,” he said, taken aback by your questions. “Why are you asking me this?”

“There is a reason why you can’t kill me,” you said, despite how crazy you were sounding. “I know you’ve felt it…”

Jeonghan sat up on the bed, gripping the bedsheets to steady himself. He felt lightheaded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Liar,” you whispered, sitting up next to him.

He ran his hands on his face harshly. “Stop that. This isn’t a game.”

“The last time we saw each other, you felt something,” you pressed, searching his eyes as he faced you.

“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly.

It made perfect sense. The grip that you had on him was unlike anything else he had faced. Time after time he tried to run away, to put distance between you and him. He always found his way back to you somehow, either by greed, by lust or purely by fate. He never knew why, he was bound to you.

“Look at me,” you said, and his gaze found you. “There’s no point in fighting this. I know you’ve tried it before, I tried too.”

“It’s–,”

“Impossible?” you scoffed with a mocking smile.

It was a sick joke. A demon and her hunter. The lamb and the wolf, chasing each other endlessly.

“Is this why you thought becoming human was an option?”

You paused but nodded slowly after some seconds of pondering.

Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.

He knew your next words before you uttered them, “I’m willing to pay it, Jeonghan.”

“I don’t want you to,” he gritted out his words, even if he did not understand, he could not stop fighting it any longer. “I like you the way you are.”

Demon or not, you felt something in your chest, tugging at you. “That’s not the problem,” you shifted back, looking at his confused face.

“I can’t have any ties to anyone,” he said. “Someday I’ll end up dead fighting something stronger and quicker than me.”

“After today’s events, I think it’s clear that I am chased by the same danger.”

“I’ll grow old, and slow,” he added.

“I would too, if I were human. No one would hunt me down,” you countered, not convinced by the obfuscated look on his face. “I wouldn’t have to feed from you.”

“You could die in the process,” he said, and that was the final reason he needed.

“Jeonghan–,”

“No,” he shook his head.

At that, you stopped fighting. You got out of bed, slowly picking up your torn clothes and putting them on without looking back at him.

His heart faltered, looking at you as you sat down on the edge of the bed, next to him. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.

“Give me a reason to stay.”

Jeonghan swallowed his words, taking a last look at your eyes. Something tugged at his heart, urging him to stop you. But you were slipping through the door before he could spring to action.

Fool. He was a fool.

› author's note: heyyyooooooo

once again i have nothing to say. i just need jeonghan on his knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy

anyway, stay tuned for my next hannieween fest piece!! next post will be loser hannie!! hehe

toodles!

support me on ko-fi?

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[peachyykira]

Oh, to make pretty sounds for someone to hear…

[wonderthor]

your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.

“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”

he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”

he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.

“you sure about that?”

you confidentially smirk back at him.

“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”

sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.

“how about we make a bet.”

“a bet? on what?”

“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”

“and what do i get when i win?”

sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”

you roll your eyes at him.

“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”

he laughs at you again.

“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”

you take another sip of your drink and lean back.

“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”

“what do you want?”

his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.

“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”

he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.

“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”

time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.

“what do you m-mean by that?”

he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.

“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”

a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.

it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.

but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.

when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.

“guess i win, sweetheart.”

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Moon Boys Sleeping Headcanons

Rating: PG •  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged? • ko-fi •

Warnings: some fluffy fluff, mentions of reader, not beta read

Word count: 861

Steven:

I firmly believe that this man constantly moves in his sleep.

He’s rolling around all over the place.

One of those people that hold their arms/legs up in their sleep in the most uncomfortably looking positions. 

There has been more than one occasion where you wake up and see Steven sitting up in bed, fully asleep, and you have to coax him back into lying down.

He is taking up all of the space, then hardly any. 

He’s got all the covers and then none. 

Side and back sleeper, for sure. Loves to be the big or little spoon when going to bed and will twist himself into the most uncomfortable positions for himself if it means you're comfy. 

There is normally at least some part of him touching you, even if he is out of it. 

You have woken up to him holding your hand or your arm in his sleep. Or curled up into a ball and snuggled into your side. 

His feet are always warm, no matter how cold it is.

Delights in eating in bed, watching TV cuddling with you. (Will tell Marc he never eats in bed with a completely straight face.) 

Once he knows about Marc and doesn’t worry so much about sleepwalking he has the ability to fall asleep anywhere and anytime. Literally his eyes are closed and a second later it’s lights out. 

Mumbles in his sleep. It’s never actual words, just little sounds. You video him sometimes to show him in the morning. 

He laughs about it for ages. 

Remembers his dreams in vivid detail. 

Always wakes up with messy hair, no matter how hard he tries or what material his pillow is. 

Prefers to sleep in pyjamas even when it’s burning hot, because it doesn’t feel right otherwise.

Marc:

Back sleeper. Literally lays down like he’s going into his coffin, so stiff it should be uncomfortable. 

However if you’re in bed with him he will snuggle up and lay all over your chest and tummy, and please play with his hair while he goes to sleep. He needs it. 

Doesn’t talk in his sleep, but flinches and twitches. The movements are usually small, like a mini electric current runs through his nerves. 

Pulls a face at eating in bed, will get the handheld vacuum cleaner out and hoover the sheets. “Steven, why are there crumbs here?” 

“I don’t know mate, don’t ask me.” 

“They're those stupid seaweed chip things you eat, you’re the only one of us that eats them.”

“First, they're crisps Marc, say it with me crisps.”

“Steven-”

“Secondly, Jake eats them too.” 

“I know it was you Steven, you always eat in the bed-”

“I’m the only one who changes the bloody covers, aren’t I? I think I’ve earned it.”

“That’s not-”

“I changed the covers last week.” Jake chimes in. 

“You’re right, you did mate, sorry about that.” 

“No problem.” Jake gives him a mental thumbs up.

Marc is just like !!! Where is my apology for eating in the bed? !!!

However, if Marc wakes up before you he will bring you breakfast in bed and purposefully ignore Steven when he playfully calls him a hypocrite.

Sleeps in pyjamas if it’s cooler, but will also sleep naked if it’s hot. 

Falls asleep quickly and doesn’t remember his dreams at all. (He prefers it that way.)

Deep, but light sleeper. Goes into a deep sleep very quickly, but is awake and alert if something sounds ‘wrong’. You once stubbed your toe on the bathroom door and let out a little yelp and he was up and by your side before you’d even realised.

Likes to put lavender and eucalyptus sprays and oils on his pillow. 

Jake: 

Very good at sleeping sitting up and power naps, but prefers you to be laying on top of him if you're in bed. 

It makes him feel grounded to have your weight on him. If you’re happy to lay completely on him he is so content, it doesn’t matter what weight you are, he just loves wrapping his arms around you like you’re his own weighted blanket. 

You buy him a weighted blanket for a gift and he wraps himself up in it constantly. 

Often complains about the cold when sleeping, even when it’s hot his feet are still freezing. He has taken to always wearing socks in bed.

Which leads to a rather amusing sight in August when it is boiling hot, so he’s sleeping naked, but his feet are still covered in fluffy socks. 

He calls them his ‘sexy socks’, and has pairs in a variety of colours. He prefers ones that have loud patterns and colours. 

(I headcanon Jake as a kniter, so I think he would definitely make some for himself as well.) 

Doesn’t usually eat in bed, but does on occasion to affectionately annoy Marc. 

Remembers his dreams, and remembers Steven’s and Marc’s as well. 

Likes to dramatically push you into bed, and throw himself in after. 

Doesn’t move around a lot in the night, but occasionally talks. 

Never wakes up first if he can help it, usually stays asleep while Marc and Steven are up. 

Thank you for reading!

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[landosjpg]

from my pov | ln

lando norris x fem!reader

word count: ~1.0k

warnings: heavily implied body dysmorphia, disordered eating, insecurities, COMFORT

note: based on this request. despite of the previous warnings and this being more of a comfort blurb, i feel the need to clarify that i am NOT encouraging these behaviors and, as some sensitive topics are discussed, please DO NOT READ if this could be triggering for you or have any kind of negative impact on your mental health. i am also writing this from my own experience with these topics; everyone’s experience is different, so please be respectful.

and last, but obviously not least, if you’re going through something like this (or through anything, really) PLEASE REACH OUT! and if you’re not ready to do so, for whatever reason it might be, reminder that my messages are always open for anyone who needs a little rant or anything i could potentially help with.

and lastly, i don’t know how i feel about this one (yes i’m insecure about everything i post, leave me alone) so please share your thoughts with me as always <3

it had started only a few weeks ago. summer was around the corner, and inevitably, your social media was filled with girls in tiny crop tops or “summer body” posts.

normally, you wouldn’t pay too much attention to them; you liked your body the way it was.

but this year it was different. the stress of the past few weeks had a bigger impact on you that you ever expected.

the first time you noticed you were trying your summer clothes on. the skirt you loved being a little tighter than the last time you had used it.

it was only a few pounds, no one could really notice. but you could.

you shouldn’t have give it a second thought, but insecurities got the best of you and that very same moment you had decided that you needed to do something about it.

you would just stop snacking in between meals. you had it all under control, and in to time you would feel good about yourself again.

that’s what you told yourself.

but your rule of no snacking soon turned into skipping breakfast quite often and trying to make your meals as light as possible.

but you found yourself checking your body in the mirror more often than not whenever you were left alone.

“i’m back!” you heard your boyfriend announce, followed by the sound of the front door closing.

you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought of lando finding you like that, so you tried to put on your clothes as quickly as possible and wiped your tears from your cheeks before walking out of the bathroom.

you slowly paced to the kitchen where you knew he was, one of his hoodies over your body and your eyes inevitably red and puffy.

when you entered the kitchen, you didn’t even need to say anything for him to knew you where there, even with his back turned to you.

“got us dinner,” he said, taking the food out of a white plastic bag. “your favorite.”

you could feel his smile even when he still hadn’t turned to look at you yet, and it broke your heart a little that you weren’t in the mood for some junk food.

when your eyes met his, his face softened at the sight of you. he knew you were feeling down, but he also knew better than to ask. you would tell him, eventually.

“go choose a movie,” he uttered, voice tender. “i’ll be there in a second.”

you nodded and walked to the living room, sitting on the couch and trying to find a movie that could lift your mood up. just a little bit, at least.

it worked, for the last half of the movie; it eased off your worries for some time, and you found yourself lying on top of your boyfriend, worries about your recent insecurities now gone for a while.

you heard him sigh, his fingers brushing your hair softly as you rested your head on his chest with your eyes closed.

“tell me what’s up,” he whispered. “you’ve barely touched your food.”

“i’m not hungry,” you answered, making him roll his eyes.

“don’t lie to me.”

despite his insistence, he wasn’t mad; his tone was still gentle, and one of his hands slipped under your shirt to softly caress the skin of your waist. the touch that normally would have made you feel instantly better, this time making you tense a little. and he noticed, so he squeezed your side, urging you to speak.

“i just haven’t been feeling good lately,” you mumbled after a few seconds, your voice muffled as you were hiding your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.

“hm?” he only hummed in response, kissing the top of your head and waiting for you to explain further, not really wanting to push you.

“i’ve put on a few pounds these past weeks,” your words were barely audible, voicing your insecurities was never an easy task.

lando heard you, though.

“that’s not a bad thing.”

“but it is,” you cut him off before he could add something else. his hand slowly rubbed your back as he took a deep breath. “you’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”

he chuckled, “don’t be silly.”

lando squeezed you in his arms and planted another soothing kiss to your temple, trying to find the correct words to say.

“i’m not saying that just because i’m your boyfriend,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. he held your chin and made you look at him. “you’re gorgeous, baby. everyone can see that.”

your lips formed a little pout as you heard your boyfriend’s words, which he was quick to kiss away.

“and nothing will change that, ever,” his eyes met your teary ones, the corners of his lips perking up at your vulnerable state.

“but i…”

“nuh huh,” he cut you off immediately with a slight shake of his head. “no ‘buts’, love. you look perfect to me.”

he softly tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as he spoke, his eyes soft and his touch gentle when he then cupped your cheek.

“i wish you could see yourself with my eyes,” his whisper made you sigh as he nuzzled his nose softly against yours, comforting and sweet. “you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen, baby.”

“do you really mean it?” your eyes fluttered closed as you spoke, eyelashes resting on your cheeks.

“of course i do,” you could hear the small smile on his lips as he reassured you once again, the fingers that slowly creeped up the side of your body tickling your skin.

a sigh escaped your lips, your arms circling around your boyfriend’s neck as you pressed your lips against his in silent gratitude.

how lucky of a girl you were, you thought, for him to be just yours.

[paperclip-skz]

Happy Halloween OT8

a/n: So this is my "apology" for not doing Kinktober. I think this is what I'll do (if it gets good feedback) for special holidays/events, that sort of thing... I don't know. This is the first time I've done this sort of thing, and I'll be honest—I'm very nervous. I hope you'll like it. and ....yea

p.s: this is gonna be my "sat" post as well.

fem reader x ot8

*WARNING*

CONTAINS Pnv, praising, teasing, kissing, oral (m and F receiving), make-out, mentions of insecurities, the reader is VERY insecure, be mentally healthy, fluff, riding, grinding, creampie (don't), spanking, voyeurism, rough, I'll be honest I didn't fully proof read this cause I kinda rushed; I'm sure I missed something...

WC: 7k

Synopsis: Your SKZ's manager finds out you're not so confident in yourself. Now, they are determined to show you how truly special you are.

********************

It's a normal Thursday afternoon. You're pulling a small trolley filled with small containers labeled with names. You push the trolley into the practice studio, where you see Minho leading the rest of the group. 

“Come and get it!” you shout, leading the trolley to the side. 

The boys sprint in your direction, saying their “thank yous” and each taking a container with their name on it until there are only two left—one labeled Chan and the other blank. Chan walks up to you with his warm smile and endearing eyes as he takes his labeled lunch, “Thank you, Y/N.”

“No problem, Chan, it's my job,” you smile. 

 You take yours and take your spot in the small circle the boys created in the middle of the studio. They all murmur amongst themselves as they eat their lunch until something Seungmin says that makes your ears perk. 

“All I’m saying is that it's easy to thirst over you, Felix Hyung, because you have abs. I don’t.” his voice is small, and it makes your heart shatter into tiny pieces at his words. 

"Minnie, you really shouldn't have to worry about any of that. In fact, none of you need to. Each and every one of you is not just attractive but truly stunning. You're all hot, and even then, people don’t love you just because you're beautiful but because you all love each other and your fans." Your words spill out in a rush, but you don't mind. It's important that they understand just how amazing they are.

Chan's smile is warm from your words but doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you Y/N. Sometimes it's just hard.” 

You understand him, but they can’t possibly believe they are any less extraordinary than they already are. You can’t explain why you say your next words or why they make your blood turn, but….you can’t help it. “Than who would you rather look like? Me?” you scoff. 

Stuffing the last bit of lunch into your mouth. Everyone freezes. Minho and Seungmin stare dead at you, Binnie looks like he is about to cry, and Jisung and Hyunjin freeze, holding a fork mid-bite.

Chan also freezes. Staring at you with hurt in his eyes, his look almost makes you think you directed your comment at him if it wasn't for his following words. “What do you mean by that Y/N?”

Panic surges within you. Well, now what? You weren’t one to share your insecurities out loud, and you definitely weren’t one to challenge them either. You were somewhat confident with how you looked and how people saw you, but that didn’t mean you wished you could change things. “I just mean….” there's no getting out of this now. “I’m not like any of you guys,” you laugh awkwardly. “I don’t have strong arms, toned abs, or even the equivalent…. I’m just… me.” You look down at your hands in your lap.

“I’m sorry, I’m still confused. Angel, are you saying you don’t like your body?” Hyunjin looks at you, dropping his fork into the remains of his lunch.

You look up at him. “I—well-...yea…yea I—” you say, but the sound of your phone ringing cuts you off. You quickly grab and answer your phone, apologizing for leaving the room and silently thanking whatever higher power got you out of that in your head. 

******

A few minutes later, you hang up the phone. Now, you're debating whether you want to return to the studio. You turn on your heel, deciding against walking into whatever awkward silence situation awaits you. But before you could even walk down the hallway, someone grabbed your wrist. As you turn your head, you lock eyes with a person whose gaze is tainted by the remnants of spilled coffee. Their eyes mirror what you can only describe as sorrow, causing a sharp pang in your chest. 

“Wait, Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?” Chan whispers. 

“Yeah, what's up?” you perk, trying to smile your way out of awkwardness. 

“What you said back there? Were you serious?” 

You steer clear of making eye contact. “I mean, yeah,” you throw your arms up in defense, still unwilling to meet his defeated eyes. “I would pretty much give anything to look even remotely close to any of you guys. I’m not—" Your words fail when you do look up to see his face. 

He looks more than defeated; he looks hurt. “Chan… it's okay. It's not like I’m not confident with what I have; I make it work.” You laugh through your words, trying to lighten the mood. 

Your phone rings in your hand again, and you know you need to get back to work. "Hey, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Yeah," Chan smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and you know from seeing him genuinely smile that he has something on his mind. But you decide not to address it and leave to get back to the rest of the day. 

*****

‘Can I see you after work?’ Chan texts. 

‘Sure! Is everything okay?’ A hint of concern seeps into your head, and you bite your lip, hoping nothing has gone wrong.

 ‘Yeah, everything’s fine. I just want to talk a bit more, if that’s cool with you.’ he responds

‘Of course. I’ll be done in a bit,’ you reply, feeling a flutter of anticipation in your stomach. 

As the workday drags on, your mind frequently wanders back to Chan's request. The way he looked at you yesterday, the weight in his gaze—there was something urgent behind those soft brown eyes. The clock seems to mock you as each minute ticks by, and when it finally strikes the end of the day, you practically sprint to the exit.

Outside, the evening air is filled with a cool breeze, sending shivers down your spine. You spot Chan leaning casually against a wall, his trademark smile lighting up his features. There’s a warmth in how he stands, a confidence that makes you feel at ease despite the gravity of your earlier conversation.

“Hey!” he calls out as you approach, his smile widening, igniting a warmth in your chest. 

“Hey!” you reply, unable to suppress your grin, but the playful atmosphere doesn’t fully mask the anxious flutter of your heart.

“Let’s take a walk?” he suggests, and you nod, matching your pace with his as you stroll down the sidewalk. The fading sunlight paints the sky in hues of pink and gold, wrapping you both in a serene ambiance.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Chan turns to you, his expression shifting to something more serious. “About what you said yesterday… I really want you to know that I think you’re beautiful just the way you are.”

You stop walking, caught off guard by his words. “Chan, I—”

“No, let me finish.” He takes a deep breath, his brows furrowing slightly in concentration. “I get it. We all have insecurities, but you have this light that just… shines. The way you support us, how you care—it’s more than just looks. You’re a big part of our family.”

Your heart swells at his words, the sincerity in his voice washing over you like a warm wave. “I appreciate that, really. It’s just hard sometimes.”

“It is,” he agrees, stepping closer, his voice barely more than a whisper. “But I want you to be kinder to yourself. You deserve that.”

His gaze remains fixed on yours, and it feels like time has stopped. The world around you fades, leaving just the two of you in this moment, filled with unspoken understanding and connection.

“Thank you, Chan,” you finally say, feeling vulnerable yet cherished.

You smile, feeling the warmth spread through you.

“This actually reminds me. I needed to show you something, but it's back at the dorm,” Chan says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Your smile widens. What in the world is going on? “Um, sure, but can I ask what it’s for?” 

“I wanted to discuss something about work with you, but it’s on my home computer, not my laptop,” Chan explains.

Your curiosity peaks. He never comes unprepared; nevertheless, it's Chan. You've always trusted his judgment, especially when it comes to work.

“Okay, I suppose,” you shrug, not thinking much of it.

That leaves you standing in front of 3 Racha's and Hyunjin’s apartment.

Chan opens the door and steps inside first, blocking your view. “So, what did you want to show me?” you ask, your smile bright.

“It’s right in here.” He steps aside, allowing you to walk into the apartment.

Your eyes widen when you see the rest of the guys crowded into the small living room. Okay, what is going on? “Chan?” you question, but he’s already closed and locked the door behind you.

“Sorry, doll. We knew this was the only way we could get you here,” Hyunjin says, dragging your attention back to the group of men in the room.

“So I’m assuming I’m not here for work reasons?”

Chan suddenly steps into your line of sight, his figure blocking out the chaos around you. You observe every detail: the way his shoulders are tense, the subtle clenching of his fists at his sides, and the tight lines of his mouth. He stands silently, an impenetrable wall of unexpressed emotions, deliberately avoiding your gaze as if the weight of his thoughts is too heavy to share. 

A churning confusion fills your mind; you can’t shake the questions racing through you. What is he thinking? Why are you here, caught in this surreal moment? The air feels thick and electric, amplifying your unease as you ponder the mystery of the situation. Will someone please just say something?

Chan joins the rest of the guys in the living room, still keeping his head down. Finally, Felix answers for the group: “No Angel, sorry. We just want to talk.” His voice is so soft, almost like he’s scared, you’ll run away. 

“About what?” You ask. 

“About what you said earlier.” This time, it's Binnie who speaks. 

You groan, “This again, seriously guys, it’s fine.” 

“No, it's not, doll,” Hyunjin says, stepping before everyone. We know what it's like—” words die in his throat. You can see the wheels of his mind turning, a visible storm brewing beneath the surface. His brow creases in concentration, and his lips curl into a grimace that speaks of inner turmoil. The flicker of pain in his eyes is almost palpable as if each thought pierces through him like a shard of glass. Watching him grapple with this internal conflict sends a slow, painful ache deep within you, evoking a powerful sense of need to hold him, to vanquish any negative thoughts he might have. 

Jisung comes up behind him, squeezing his shoulder. “We just want to remind you how beautiful you are,” Jisung smiles at you. 

“This is all sweet, guys, but I can't change my opinion of myself just because you say some nice things about me,” you say, feeling bashful and uneasy. Your emotions well up at the idea of your friends attempting to cheer you up, but you know it's not that simple.

“You're right,” Chan pipes, his sudden voice booming off the walls, “It won’t change your mind, but maybe showing you will.” he strides across the room and suddenly grasps your jaw, angling you forward into his embrace and sealing your lips with his. His kiss is demanding and hungry, begging for entrance into your mouth, and with a gasp, you let him in. It is a wave of emotions: shock, anger, embarrassment, and above all else, lust. 

Your hands, resting on Chan’s chest to push him away, steadily creep up into his hair, pulling at his roots, which release a low rumble from his chest. Your tongue dances with a secret rhythm, finding each other's warmth. You both pause, feeling the need to catch your breath after the intense moment, and you find yourselves gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Time seems to stand still as you're locked in this powerful and captivating gaze until the moment is interrupted by Minho's cough, demanding your attention.

Suddenly, that same steaming lust is replaced by heating embarrassment. Your cheeks radiate heat, and you can already tell your face is as red as a tomato. 

Oh. My. God

You take two steps backward, only to fall into Seungmin’s arm. “Hey pup,” he whispers, sending chills down your spine. “Can I show you as well?” 

He takes your shocked expression as hidden permission and tilts your head to meet his lips. His kiss is a beautiful contrast to Chan's - gentle and deliberate. He savors each movement of your lips, his touch sending tingles down to your core, and your longing for the kiss to deepen grows with each passing moment. The way his hand cradles your face, the warmth of his breath against your skin, and the soft brush of his lips against yours make your insides coil. 

It's not long before you're guided away from Seungmin's lips and directed to another pair. Jisung gently pulls you forward to connect his lips with your own. 

You're completely hypnotized by Jisung’s kiss and the way Seungmin presses the full weight of his body to your backside. Different pairs of hands skim your body, coating your skin with goosebumps. You feel multiple pairs of lips wet your exposed skin, what little there is, until you feel a pair of hands gripping the slim fabric and trying to pull it off your body. 

You pull away from Jisung to find Minho trying to pry off your clothes. “Can we, kitten? Can we show you just how beautiful you are?��

Your head nods faster than you can think about what's happening around you, but that's all Minho needs. He grabs your wrists, pulls you away from the rest of the group, and guides you to a nearby bedroom. 

Everyone follows behind, prowling like your their prey. Minho makes you stand in the center of the room, presenting you like a main course. He comes face to face with you, staring at you for one last sign of permission. You allowed your hand to guide you, resting it on his cheek. Instinctively, he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and releasing a soft purr at the sensation.

Not a moment later, his hands find your waist, squeezing and tugging you closer to him. You let your body fall into his warmth and let your lips collide with his. He’s lost in the way you taste, the way your tongues demand dominance with one another. His hands travel to the band of your pants, unbuttoning them and dragging them down along with himself. He ends up on his knees, kissing your now exposed legs. His smirk is devilish, shining with a hidden mischief. 

He places a soft kiss on your clothed pussy, his eyes staring at the small wet patch you’ve stained. He smirks up at you, “Someone keep her occupied while I’m busy down here.” 

Minho hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and pulls them down. You watch his head dip to your now-exposed sex. He darts his tongue out to place kitten licks across your folds, but soon, the taste of you takes over any sense of control he has left in him. He dives his head between your legs, struggling to get his tongue across your entire pussy; all the while, your shaking legs get weak, and you have no choice but to grab hold of his hair for balance. 

Whimpers fill the room, your eyes shut tight, and your insides begin to turn. Everyone in the room has held their breath to watch you shake under Minho’s influence. 

Finally, Jeongin emerges from the small group of guys in the room. He strides toward you with an effortless grace, each movement deliberate and fluid. His shoulders are back, exuding a calm, hidden confidence that draws your attention. There’s a glint in his eyes, and the subtle curve of his lips makes you buzz with excitement. As he closes the distance, the air around him almost crackles with unspoken energy. Your eyes are blown with lust, and your body trembles with how small you appear under his intense gaze. 

His hand cradles your jaw, compelling you to meet his gaze. His iron-like grip makes you fold under his touch, “you look so pretty like this,” he says softly. The sounds Minho is dragging out of your throbbing cunt echo throughout the room. You lean into Jeongins touch, and your eyes inevitably dart to where the rest of the guys are groping their hard-ons. Felix and Jisung already have their dicks out, their hand pumping slowly while they watch the scene unfold. Chan stands silently in the corner, his hands crossed as he studies your eyes. 

“Look at me, baby,” Jeongin demands, his grip on your jaw pulling you back. Minho begins to swirl his tongue along your sensitive nub, which makes you whimper. Jeongin’s gaze grows darker, and he sucks in a breath, “we need to quiet the pretty mouth of yours,” he says…” suck on my fingers.”

Your eyes are drawn to him, fixating on the way his face glimmers in the light, the sinister smile spreading across his lips like a shadow creeping over the sun, but before you can answer or protest, he’s shoving two fingers past your lips to suck on. 

You hum around his fingers, twirling your tongue around the digit, savoring the sweet-salty taste. You initially believed that you would despise the experience, yet surprisingly, you find yourself relishing the sensation. It envelops you like a warmth you didn’t anticipate, awakening feelings you didn't expect to enjoy. His other hand steadily sneaks to grab hold of your clothed breast, squeezing the soft flesh; it makes you buck under his touch, grinding on Minho’s face. 

Minho breaks away from your cunt, your arousal dripping down his chin. “Fuck, you taste so good” You gasp away from Jeongin’s fingers from the loss of Minho’s tongue and look down at his blown-out eyes. He looks high, high off the taste of you, and it's clear he isn’t done. 

“I want a taste dammit!” Jisung whines. 

“Well then, come get it, crybaby.” Minho stands and walks confidently over to Jisung. He stands tall, his chest rising slowly in front of him. He can see the temptation in his eyes, and you can sense Jisung’s mind turning with need, debating right from wrong. He stands tall, his chest rising and falling with each measured breath as if trying to steady himself amidst the swirling emotions. The temptation glimmers in his eyes, a mixture of desire and uncertainty. You can almost feel the weight of Jisung's internal struggle; his mind races with conflicting thoughts, torn between the allure of what he wants and the moral compass guiding him toward what is right. Each moment seems to stretch as he grapples with his impulses, caught in a delicate dance between longing and restraint.

Soon, Minho becomes impatient with Jisung’s uncertainty and takes matters into his own hands. He grasps the back of Jisung’s neck, pulling him flat against his own lips. You can see your own arousal mixed with how their lips dance, and it sends a newfound tingle straight to your core. 

“You like that babydoll?” Changbin speaks, coming forward next to Jeongin. You nod your head, slightly mesmerized by how Jisung and Minho have entwined themselves.

 “Then keep watching,” Changbin whispers in your ear as his hand slowly sneaks down to your core, toying with your folds. He rubs your clit for only a little while, swirling what’s left of your wetness around your entrance until, finally, he dips one of his fingers into you. He sinks deep inside you, almost making you fall backward onto the bed. 

Your eyes roll to the back of your skull, and Changbin only smirks. Jeongin stares at your fucked out expression, mesmerized by how your body reacts to different touches. “We should lay her down so everyone can have a turn.” Felix’s voice makes you jump, which evidently makes you roll on Changbins finger. You moan loudly as he finds that secret gummy spot within you. “Lix is right,” Hyunjin pipes. 

“Fine by me.” Changbin slowly guides you to lay your back on the bed, his finger never leaving you. 

Changbins finger slowly start to pump within your walls and you moan at the feeling of his girthy finger twirling inside you. You're not entirely sure how, but somehow, someone removed your flimsy shirt, revealing your breasts practically spilling out of your bra. 

Hyunjin gawks at them, drooling at the sight. Changbin leans by your side, watching you thrive under his manipulation, and then you feel him add another finger. You're too distracted by Changbins skilled fingers to tell Hyunjin he can have his fill if he wants to; the only sounds leaving your lips are small moans. So, instead of speaking, you grab Hyunjins jaw and slowly guide him to your chest. He takes the hint right away and shines a pretty boy smile. He starts placing small kisses along your bra before diligently reaching under you to unclasp your bra, leaving you bare before the eight men in the room. 

Hyunjin lets out a small “fuck” at the sight, but soon he’s attaching his lips to a hardened nipple and sucking on the bud like his life depends on it. The sensation of both Changbin’s and Hyunjin’s efforts makes your body arch into them, and you start to feel the coil in your lower belly begin to break.

Your moans are louder, Changbin’s hand pumps faster, and the air in the room is so thick your breath quickens. “I- I’m gonna-” 

“We know, sweetheart, let go,” Felix whispers in your ear. When the hell did he get here? 

Changbin can feel you clenching around his fingers, but he decides to add to your pleasure by pressing his tongue flat against your clit. You scream loudly as your first orgasm washes over you. Changbin only slowly his finger and keeps his tongue pressed against you, letting you ride the waves of your pleasure. Hyunjin stays where he is, switching from one nipple to the other, clearly content. 

 Felix cradles you between his legs, making you more comfortable in his arms as he caresses your hair. “You did so well for us, sweets.” You can barely keep your eyes open, but a deeper part of you knows you are not done, that they aren’t done. 

“You taste so sweet, angel.” Hyunjin lifts his head from one of your nipples. 

“Come ooon, your hoggin her!” Seungmin starts. Hyunjin disappears from your line of sight, his hand disappearing between his legs.  

Jisung and Minho have separated from each other to observe the scene. Your head feels heavy, resting against Felix’s thigh. You loll your head back and forth across his thigh until you come face to face with Felix’s red mushroom tip. It already leaks precum, which makes your mouth water with need. 

Your tongue pokes out to lick a small strip up Felix’s waiting dick. He hisses at the contact. The salty, bitter taste tastes so sweet on your tongue that it makes your mouth loll out to take his whole length down your throat. His hand comes over to push your hair out of your face; it's not the most comfortable position - Your body still between Felix’s legs while your neck is at an angle where you can reach his swollen member. The rest of the guys watch your struggle, your legs still twitching from your orgasm. 

“Thats it” Seungmin marches over to your body. You momentarily separate yourself from Felix’s cock, only so Seungmin can flip you over on your stomach. You reattach your lips onto Felix’s member while Seungmin plays with the flesh of your ass, squeezing and massaging. 

You can’t see him, but you can just imagine what he must look like. His body bare to the world, his leaking cock begging to be swallowed whole until you feel two of his digits delicately rubbing against your folds. He plays with you for a moment, watching you moan around Felix’s cock from the overstimulation. 

The vibrations of your moan send shivers down Felix’s spine. His hand comes back down to hold your head; you can feel his restraint, not wanting to cross any hidden barriers. 

Seungmin spreads your legs as wide as they can, and he sneaks his way between them, letting his cock rub up and down your waiting folds. The idea of finally being full, finally getting the sensation you’ve been craving, especially without the barrier of a condom, makes your whole body buzz. 

“You ready, pup? Condom or not, you better tell me now,” Seungmin says. 

Without answering, you push your ass against him. You're on birth control, and you know the risks, but you simply can’t find it in yourself to care; you’re so full of need, and lust simmers off your skin. 

“Fuuuuuck,” he groans and pushes only the tip past your walls. You are still halfway past Felix’s cock, enjoying the initial stretch. “Pussy so warm and tight,” he moans, pushing further into you. You let out a muffled whine; he’s isn’t as girthy as you expected, but he long. He hits all the right places, curving upward, every ridge and vein, making it impossible not to roll your eyes at the feeling. 

Your eyes are screwed tight while your lips are occupied. Seungmin finally pushes his full length inside you; in doing so, he pushes you further down Felix’s cock. Seungming’s hips collide with your ass cheeks, and your lips meet with Felix’s groin. You feel so full, so stretched, and oh so good. 

You coke a little on Felix, and he immediately removes his hand from the back of your head. “Shit, Y/N, are you okay?” he rushes with his words. He takes you off his cock, watching your face for any signs, but all you do is smirk. With Seungmin inside you and squeezing your hips, you're so lust-driven that you don’t care if your throat burns a little. So, you guide his hand back to the back of your head and lower your lips back to his dripping member. He lets out a guttural groan as your tongue presses flat against his length. 

Seungmin watches Felix lose himself in your mouth, “Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispers out, and with that, he starts to move his hip. He starts slow, letting his cock drag against your walls. 

Felix’s hand guides your head up and down his length, your spit spilling down your chin and Seungmins cock picking up pace. He has no need to be fast or brutal, but you can feel he wants to be embedded in you; he wants you to remember how deep he is. So he keeps his steady pace, not too fast but pressing deep into your stomach. 

Like Seungmin before, you don’t see him, but Hyunjin appears at your side, letting his hands roam your body. His rough fingertips make the sensation of Seungmin’s cock heighten. “Look at you, you're beautiful,” Hyunjin praises. 

Your body feels warm from his praise, but it is quickly replaced with a sharp pain from the smack Seungmin lets out on your left ass cheek. He lets it form a pretty pink mark before slapping another to your right cheek, matching it well. Your moans are muffled by your focus on Felix’s cock, but you can feel the swell of your tears forming. 

Felix’s eyes have never been so focused on you or so dark. You dare to make eye contact with him, letting him see the tears form and one fall across your cheek. 

He flushes at the sight. Your mouth is stuffed full of HIS cock, and your teary eyes overflowing; your cheeks are flushed pink, and your hands grip his thighs like you don’t want to be pulled away from him. 

There are so many hands, so many touches, and so many feelings that you are so overwhelmed with sensations and emotions that you can’t tell when one starts or when one ends. 

Seungmin releases a loud moan when he feels you clenching around his member…and he snaps. Letting pure instinct take control. His hands hold your hips, and he starts railing into your pussy like never before. “Fuck, fuck, fuck” he lets out with each pound he makes into you. 

At this point, you don’t have to lift your head. You let Seungmin push and pull your pack, making a perfect rhythm on Felix’s dick. 

That familiar coil in your stomach builds quicker than before. “Fuck I can feel you clenching,” Sungmin moans, “are you gonna cum again, pup?” 

You moan around Felix, which makes his head fall back. “Fucking cum on my cock” Seungmin makes his last few thrust prominent, making sure you never forget the feeling of his dick inside you. He shoots white spurts of cum into your cunt. You don’t know if it was the feeling of being full or the fact that you haven't had a dick inside you for the better part of 2 years, but you cum again. You spasm around his dick like crazy, legs shaking, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

Felix visibly shakes from your orgasm, and it makes him shoot his load straight down your throat. You hold your head still, letting your mouth take the full capacity of his load, not letting a single drop slip. Once you lift your head, you make a dramatic show out of swallowing down his load and opening your mouth to him as proof. 

Seungmin releases your hips, and your legs flop like jello as you roll over onto your back. “I’m sorry, bunny, but I need you” All you can muster is a small moan before Changbin pulls your body to the end of the bed aligning his cock along your throbbing entrance. He wastes no time shoving his needy cock all the way into you, kissing your bruised cervix. You make a weak attempt to squirm away, your over-sensitive walls making your whole body burn. 

He grabs hold of your hips, making a low growl. “Fuck how are you still so tight.” His cock pulls in and out of your hole, and your legs weakly wrap around his waist. He pistons his hips in and out of you. Sounds that can only be described as pornographic bounce throughout the room, leaving the rest of the men to watch the scene unfold before them. 

“Hey kitten, remember me?” he whispers. Minho comes into view above you. 

Changbin doesn’t let up from his pace, hitting your gummy walls perfectly every time. You crane your head up to look at Minho, staring down at you. He looks lethal from here, his body coated in a sheer sheet of sweat, his bare chest in clear view, and his devilish smirk shining brightly. 

Your whole body shakes from how rough Changbin is being with you, but you don’t mind. You love the slight pain he inflicts on your used cunt, you love the way they look at you, like your food, and they are starved. 

“Is our little binnie treating you well?” Minho leans down to ghost your ear. 

His voice makes your body clench, “fuck yes, bunny, keep doing that,” Changbin growls. 

“Does it feel good?” Minho's voice grows impossibly lower. Your face crunches up tight in pleasure. 

His hands dig bruises into your hips, “so good for us. Look at how well you take Binnie.” Minho sneaks his hand across your body, inching down to where you and Changbin connect. He finds your overly sensitive nub in no time and starts rubbing circles. Your body squirms, but both Changbin and Minho hold you still. 

“You can do it, baby” Minho whispers in your ear. You didn’t notice your orgasm building because your whole body hums with aftershocks. 

“I can’t- please, I can’t.”Your voice comes out as a strangled cry, tears in your eyes. But deep down, you know you can handle what they’re doing; in fact, you crave their dominance, their control—you crave them.

“Oh yes, you can, kitten,” his voice grows wild. In fact, you're gonna do it now,” his finger presses flat against your nub. 

You come undone with a scream, shaking a spasaming out of control. It's not until you realize Changbin has finished his thrusts in you that you see your arousal dripping down his chest. 

“Look at that pretty, you squirted all over Binnie” Hyunjin smiles that big teethy smile. 

Changbin pulls out of you with a gutted groan, while Minho moves his hands so he can rub delicate circles along your hips. 

You think you might pass out with how heavy your body feels. Jisung’s eager body comes jumping into view. 

You can barely lift your eyelids, until you feel the softness of Jisungs lips connect with yours. You lean in, heart racing, trying your best to kiss him back. Every inch of you longs for this moment to stretch into eternity. Yet, despite your desire, your body feels heavy and immobile, like a weighted blanket draped over the soft sheets. You feel the warmth of his lips against yours, but the sensation of the mattress pulling you down makes it difficult to fully engage in the kiss. 

Jisung pulls away for a brief moment, his warm brown eyes glinting in the soft light. A gentle smile spreads across his face as he leans closer. “It’s okay, pretty,” he murmurs, his voice soothing and tender. As he reaches up, his hand gently pats your head in a comforting gesture. “Next time,” he promises, his expression filled with sincerity, assuring you that this won’t be the end. 

Jisung nods to Minho as they both help you to sit up. Thick drips of cum slide down your legs, and the warmth of it makes you clench, sending more down your thighs. 

Both Minho and Jisung stare at it, watching it slowly run down. You look down, noticing only Jisung has a thumping red tip leaking precum, but Minho's pretty cock lays limp. “Was Felix not enough for you kitten?” Minho answer your hidden thoughts. 

You lick your lips at his words. He smirks, “Why don’t you take care of Jisungie? I’m all good.” He nods to the small wet patch glistening on his lower stomach. 

You bite your lip at the thought of Minho getting off at all the dirty scenes that unfolded. You look back to Jisung’s pleading eyes, and you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. 

You lower your head, sticking your tongue out to tease him, only giving him small kitten licks. You feel his hands across your head patting it, until he grips your hair tightly. He forces you to look up at him, giving him a perfect show of how your neck stretches. “What do you do if it's too much?” he says. 

You bite your lip, “squeeze two times to stop, once to slow down”

“Good girl” he calls and then he aligns your lips back down to his cock, slowly pushing it into your mouth. 

Your sole focus is keeping your lips tightly around his member and lolling your tongue so it drags along his bass. Jisung moans at the feeling of your warm wet mouth coating his cock, and soon he's slowly thrusting his hips into your throat. You don’t need to move your head at all, you just keep your head steady as Jisung does all the work. His tip hit the back of your throat making you gag around his cock, his hips stutter for a moment, but your lips keep their hold. 

Jisung groans and picks his pace back up again, thrusting his hips into your throat. It's not long after he’s shooting his cum down said throat and your humming from the sweet salty taste. 

*****

After everything you went through your body still tingles. You can feel Binnie’s cum still dripping down your legs, and your throat is sore from how Jisung used it, but still, you couldn’t be happier. Chan carries you to the tub where they’ve runned you a bath. They thought of everything, from the bath bomb to the water temperature. 

You can hear the rumble of Chan’s giggles when he sees your blissed face. 

He carefully lets you rest your back to the edge of the bathtub, letting your body soak in the warm water. He pulls his arm from underneath you and kisses your head. " Let me know when you're ready,” he whispers and attempts to leave, but you grab hold of his arm.

“No,” you let out, unable to produce many words. His warmth was so comforting when he carried you, and you were surrounded by so much warmth the last thing you wanted was the warmth to walk away, especially his. 

“Huh,” he looks at you, worried written all over his face. 

“Don’t go,” you whine, your pouty lips beckoning him back. 

He lets out a small laugh and nods his head forward. You lean forward, allowing him to slip his body into the tub and behind you.  

You rest against his back, basking in his and the warmth of the water. You cuddle close to him…until you feel…it. 

Your eyes pop at his hard member poking your side. And thats when you realize Chan didn’t really have a proper chance at you. You angle your head to look up at him, seeing that he’s staring back down at you. He’s silent, with a smile that stretches to his eyes. 

You realize that this probably wouldn't have happened if it weren’t for him. A warm smile spreads across your face as you vividly recall the memory that sparked this whole chain of events, and you can’t help but notice how your entire body reacts - each heartbeat a little stronger, each thought a little bit more confident than the last. 

You move slightly to where you're straddling his lap, his member only a slight shift of your hips away from entering your already spent hole. 

“Wha-what are you doing, babygirl?” 

Instead of finding the right words, you draw closer and press your lips against his. You kiss him with the same passion you once showed him and with a new confidence. You can’t find the words to thank him, so you try to show it.

You can feel the soft brush of his lips and the familiar scent of him enveloping you, creating a cocoon of intimacy. In this moment, gratitude fills you to the brim, but the words elude your tongue. Instead of speaking, you pour all your unspoken thanks into the kiss, hoping he senses the depth of your feelings—the joy, the longing, and the overwhelming passion you have for him. 

You roll your hips slightly, his cock sliding along your entrance; you both sigh at the feeling. “But-wait-” but again, you don’t let him finish; you're already lifting your hips so his length slides into your waiting hole. 

Chan lets out a low growl when he bottoms out inside you, kissing your cervix. You hiss at the stretch; it's painful, especially since your walls are bruised and swollen. He takes his time, letting you get used to the added stretch of his length. You bite your lip as the pain quickly subsides into a throbbing pleasure. 

Thankfully, when Chan starts to rock his groin into you, he starts slow, knowing you're sore and worn out - still, you can’t help the whimpers that escape your lips, “I know babygirl, just hold on tight to me,” he calls. 

You grip his shoulder like a vice as he slowly uses your cunt. You see his face scrunch up in pleasure; you can tell he suppressing the urge to abuse your cunt; you can feel it in the way his hands squeeze your side, almost leaving indents in your hips. You lean your head against his shoulder, your hips trying to match his pace. 

You want him to have his way, to let go. “Why are you being so gentle with me?” you finally ask. You could feel the goosebumps coating his skin as you spoke those words. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, you're already-” you cut him off with your lips pressed to his. Of course, he would think about you before himself, that was always him…but not tonight. 

“I want more, please Chan” You lean back so you can lock his eyes, knowing the one thing to make his control snap, “Please d-daddy, give me more” 

His whole body stills. For a second you think you went too far, that you read him wrong, but his eyes turn dark and his grip turns knuckle white. 

“Okay baby” he breathes, “just relax for me Daddy will make it feel good”

The night ended with Chan’s cum mixed with Seungmin’s and Binnies, you were spent and tired, but happy, oh so happy. 

Your voice was horse, your body numb and satisfied. That night, you slept in Chan’s arms, wrapped in a cozy blanket, and the sounds of his steady breathing were all you needed for that last push to sleep. 

****

In the days that followed, a palpable tension hung in the air, punctuated by stolen glances and fleeting moments that seemed to stretch the boundaries of time. Each shared smile felt electric, igniting a spark that lingered in the spaces between you. You were always aware that if you ever experienced any moments of doubt or uncertainty, they would be right there to remind you just how truly extraordinary and remarkable you are. 

[dripdowndrop]

The Bimbo Bounce

There’s an implicit understanding around the idea of a bimbo that it is an easy thing to be. A bimbo doesn’t have to worry about very much, certainly not thinking. They are free to bounce, bubbly, brainless, and spend their energy focusing on the more fun things: sex, for instance.

Bounce.

I respectfully disagree. Thoughts can be very pesky things, and ridding yourself of them isn’t always a simple task. Many bimbos subscribe to the philosophy wherein the process of bimbofication involves having their brains removed, their intelligence compromised, their thoughts turned to bubbles to float away into the ether.

Bouncing your body makes your brain bubbly.

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with that, of course. But a bimbo doesn’t necessarily need to be absolutely brainless, nor even to have their intelligence drained at all…and certainly not permanently. Part of the appeal is often in the transient nature of the transformation.

For now, we’ll focus on the brainless sort of bimbo. Perhaps later we can explore the alternatives.

Bimbos bounce their brains away.

After all, there is something to be said for allowing your thoughts to become bubbles, creating that light and airy feeling in your head. It is, I suspect, a little easier to feel like a bimbo when those thought-bubbles begin floating and bouncing around in your head, and especially once they begin to pop.

Brainwashed bimbos must obey.

But what happens when your thought-bubbles are being stubborn, when they don’t behave like the slick and oily bubbles that pop so simply? There are a few options. First, let’s consider another kind of bubble: bubble wrap.

You know what I mean, I’m sure. You’ve felt the enjoyment of popping that plastic packaging to release the air sealed inside. You’ve also found that some bubbles are easier to pop than others – sometimes you can roll the wrap along your fingers and appreciate the sound of so many rhythmic pops, but other times you have to apply some additional pressure before you receive that anticipated reward.

Bubbly brains are bound to burst.

Some of the bubbles can be downright frustrating, I know. The reward for normal bubble wrap is that giggly, somewhat silly, glee; it’s a lot of fun, and downright cathartic. But for your thoughts? The reward is becoming a brainless bimbo, and feeling the combined physical pleasure and mental relief when the thoughts pop and escape, leaving that wet, pink lust behind.

Bursting bubbly brains blow pink.

It’s a very compelling reward, isn’t it? You’d happily apply as much pressure as it takes to pop those thought-bubbles, but perhaps you aren’t quite sure how. There’s a line here about how that might mean you’re already more brainless than you expect, but we’ll skip that for now. Instead, consider the source of the pressure.

Bimbos bounce their brains away,

Brainless bimbos must obey.

Pressure around your thought-bubbles can come from the simple act of bouncing, of course. It can come from my words flowing steadily into your mind, perhaps repeating like an echo that escalates until the pop. In the first case, you’ll simply bounce a little harder; in the second, repeat my words either aloud or in your head to ramp up the pressure. But those aren’t the only methods.

Bubbly brains are bound to burst,

Bursting bubbly brains blow pink.

You see, we can also soften the surface of the thought-bubbles. You want to be a bimbo, after all, or you wouldn’t be here – you certainly wouldn’t have made it this far into a script designed to make you a bimbo. But I expect it’s more than casual want. You find the idea of becoming a brainless obedient bimbo arousing. It turns out that arousal softens bubbles…don’t take my word for it, though, let your focus shift to the intensity of that arousal, and feel the way the resistance inside your thought-bubble changes, as if the pressure is suddenly coming from both sides.

Bimbos bounce their brains away,

Brainwashed bimbos must obey.

Now there are three methods to ramp up the pressure on that stubborn thought-bubble of yours: bounce a bit harder, repeat my words to yourself, and focus on how aroused being bimbofied makes you. The bubble-wrap doesn’t stand a chance, especially when you recall how intensely rewarding that pop is going to be. Raw pink pleasure drenching your suddenly vacant head, freeing you to be the giggly, bouncy, brainless bimbo you want to be.

Bubbly brains are bound to burst,

Bursting bubbly brains blow pink.

Brainwashed bimbos bounce blankly.

Blank brainless bimbos bounce.

As rewarding as the pop will be, wouldn’t it be better to feel that over and over again? Of course it would. There’s a less common method of making bubbles easier to pop that we’ve just unlocked – making a single, large bubble into a bunch of much smaller ones. Even if you’ve already popped the thought-bubble, it’s surprisingly straightforward to imagine any remaining thoughts, brains, or some part of your body covered in bubble wrap.

Bimbos bounce their brains away,

Brainless bimbos must obey.

Bouncing bursts brain-bubbles,

Bursting bubbles blow pink.

Lots of tiny bubbles are much easier to pop, as you know, which means all you’ve got to do is pick your favorite method: bouncing, repeating my words, or feeding your arousal. Then the fun can really begin…you get to bounce, chant the bimbo mantra, or touch yourself, and enjoy the immensely satisfying sensation of all of those pesky thought-bubbles popping in rapid succession.

I’d tell you not to worry about the implications of being bound by bubble wrap, or the inherent silliness of the concept – but we both know you’re already past that, or giggling about it while you obey. So instead, give in to your chosen bubble popping method.

Bounce whichever way you find feels the best, repeat my words again and again, or bring yourself to a bubbly pink bimbo orgasm. Or, perhaps, try every method just to make sure you don’t have any pesky thought-bubbles left by the time you’re finished.

As for the transient – sorry, big word, let’s go with “temporary” – nature of the transformation, I’ll leave that up to you. When you’ve finished popping bubbles for me, you can drift awake with your decidedly un-popped brain functioning normally…or you can “wake” in bimbo mode for awhile, free to be bouncy and bubbly and giggly and horny for a few hours before the effect fully fades.

Bimbos bounce their brains away,

Brainless bimbos must obey.

Bouncing bursts brain-bubbles,

Bursting bubbles blow pink.

Either way, as always, like, reblog and enjoy.

[deviantdaffodil]

lust

miguel o’hara x reader smut

im actually genuinely obsessed and deeply worried about my mental health . the grip spiderman 2099 has on me is unwavering and im afraid i will never get to escape

contains: breeding, marking/biting, office sex, spontaneous sex, stress relief sex fr, clawing, size difference, slightly jealous miguel, very dominating miguel, im obsessed with miguel, a more in character miguel this time i hope

A deep sigh escapes your throat. You really did not have to deal with O’hara right now; it’s been a long day. Sure, you were thankful he allowed you to stay in the spider society occasionally, despite just being a normal civilian, but god did he aggravate you. Often. He called you to his office for god knows what reason. You were anxious as you entered the office. Anyone in their right mind would be.

He gazes down at you, his stare is cold and his face is stoic. “Glad you could make it,” his tone is hard to read. He didn’t sound upset. But he also didn’t sound glad to see you. You keep quiet, deciding to just let him speak. His eyes are piercing through the dimly lit room; the sun was setting so the sky didn’t do much in terms of lighting the room up. Miguel continues to glare down at you, silent and judgmental. Instead of just allowing his platform to slowly make its way down to you, Miguel simply lunges down to you. He stands before you, still towering over you. His lack of communication was making you anxious as he would usually tear someone in here a new one if need be. He silently slips his arm around your waist and shoots a web up, bringing you both up to where his desk is located.

After being set down you recompose yourself with a chuckle. “I’m- I’m never gonna get used to that..” You pause for a moment, choosing your next words carefully. Heat radiated off your body and Miguel’s too. He still had his arm around you and you were too locked in place by a mix of fear and shock to move. “What is it that you wanted to see me about?” You look up at him.

He exhaled. He felt like he needed that. “This- This isn’t easy.. to admit,” Miguel mumbles. The claws of his suit had a grip on your waist, but you were still too paralyzed by shock to do anything. “I.. I want you all to myself. If I could keep you up here all to myself without seeming insane, I would, in a heartbeat.” He looks down at you, his eyes locking with yours.

This was absolutely news to you. You yourself had a thing for Miguel for the longest time. But you had no idea he wanted you this bad. Your mouth sat agape as he spoke to you. The Miguel O’hara.. wants you? All to himself? You would hang out with him while he worked sometimes, but you definitely didn’t see this kind of thing coming, especially not from someone as professional as him.

He turns to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. His gaze was fiery and he dug his claws into your shoulders. “You’re just.. such a relaxer to me. When you’re around, I don’t worry about all of.. this,” he motions to his desk. “But you.. you. You make it all better.” A growl rumbles in this throat. “I have a request- a-a suggestion maybe.”

Your jaw still hangs open. You shut your jaw and blink repeatedly. “What.. do you have in mind?”

A flash of excitement streaks across his face. “Sex,” he blatantly stated. He didn’t try to sugar coat it or anything. He wanted to fuck you more than anything. Even now, seeing you look up at him like that, in utter shock as he grips your shoulders has his cock aching. “I’m so.. so tired of seeing you with other spidermen. I need you.”

You paused, completely baffled. “Y-Yes!” You cried out, a little too eager for your liking. You hated to admit it, but you absolutely wanted him. “I-I mean, yes. Yes I’m okay with that.” Miguel did not hesitate. His claws immediately ripped open your clothes, exposing your chest. Miguel’s claws retracted and he immediately attacked your chest, latching his lips onto one of your nipples, the other being massaged by his hand. “O-Oh my god!” Your impulse cry of ecstasy caused Miguel to groan.

He peppered kisses up your neck, his big, calloused hands massaging your breasts. “I’m going to make you mine,” his lips are right next to your ear, his voice is low and husky. “Can I bite you?” You nodded, lost in the feeling of his fingers massaging your nipples. He groans as he drags his fangs across your skin before burying them into the crook of your neck. You let out a moan. His fangs sunk deep into your flesh, he was very careful not to release any venom though. He wanted to make sure you felt every bit of what he was about to do to you. The stinging sensation of the bite slowly faded to pleasure. He keeps his mouth latched onto your neck, sliding his hand down your body and letting his hand rest on your ass, squeezing gently. He pulls his fangs out of you, blood dripping from them now. You look into his eyes and bite your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered breathlessly as you grab his face in your hands, slamming your lips together. The taste of your blood was on his tongue, he gently bites your lower lip and tangles his hands in your hair. “Miguel,” your voice was high pitched and whiny, more so than you wanted. Miguel didn’t mind and in fact reveled in the fact he was able to do this to you. He continues peppering your skin with kisses, sliding your shorts and underwear down your body. He then rips his own suit off his skin, instantly cooling his body and setting his cock free.

He grabs a fistful of your hair and bends you over his desk, lining his cock up with your dripping cunt. “I need you,” his chest is pressed against your back and he slowly thrusts his cock in between your thighs. “So plump and warm,” he moaned in your ear, sliding his hands under your chest pinching your nipples.

“Oh, Miguel,” you moan, your face pressed against the wood of his desk. “Fuck me, please,” you cried, your lip quivering in anticipation.

Miguel slid his hands down to your hips, lightly raking his claws down your flesh, small beads of blood forming at the scratches left behind. He grabs the base of his cock, rubbing his tip in your wet folds. You whimper in anticipation, then Miguel stuffed the tip of his cock in your hole. He was so big it felt like he was ripping you in half. He was griping your hips and digging his claws into them for better leverage. “So little,” he muttered as he pounded into you, “so.. tight..” His thrusts were shallow, working his way up to filling you completely. “Can you take it all? Do you think you can handle all of my big cock?” He was babbling while he thrusted, drunk on your pussy already.

“Please Miguel,” your small frame whimpered for him. “More please..”

Miguel pulled out almost all of the way, a whimper escaped you when due to feeling empty. He spat on his cock and slowly pushed his throbbing, swollen cock into your quivering pussy. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes and the two of you moaned at the new feeling. Miguel began thrusting wildly, pounding hard in deep, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “Wh-Where?” he asked, in reference to where you wanted him to cum.

You turned back to face him as best as you could. Looking into his eyes you say, “Inside.” This sends him into overdrive. He’s pounding deep into you at animalistic speeds. You were sure if you were on your back you’d have a bulge from his swollen head protruding out. He latches his fangs onto your other shoulder as he growls, completely feral, and cums inside of you. You cry out as he bites you again, your walls clenching around his cock as you cum. He continues thrusting sloppily, letting your tight cunt milk all of his seed. He retracts his claws and holds himself up over you, hands at either side of your head. He pulls out of you and you can feel sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Miguel.. You ruined my clothes.”

“Mierda.. Yeah I did.”

[writeyouin]

Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) X Fem-Reader - Sinless Sinners - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Misery Loves Company

A/N – Okay, so for anyone who loves Stand-up comedy as much as I do, I highly recommend you watch Daniel Sloss’ tour, Dark. That’s his first tour, and it was where he coined the term Wanker-Anchor, which is used in this story.

Warnings – None.

Rating – M

TAG-LIST: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @sseleniaa @randomgurl2326 @22carolina08 @astrxwitch @yu-87 @clover-1767 @lil-bexie @thesimpybitch @reverse-soe @koirb @usernameunavailable2 @lavenderkita @kannakanan @mcueveryday @amarokofficial @mbruben-stein @tyrythewolf @lasagna-501 @bizzardvark @firefirefeline @kaylanotkk @missme-07 @memontica @angelsdemonsmonsters @tj4shy @midoria-kinnie @meesachan @fusehoundshipper @velvettenoctus @crescent-z @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @rosiescannibalwife @skylerbutterfly @hamthepan @latersgaters-steven @kryptidkova @sleepyhead-number27 @cherry-4200 @harcourtholmesii @alastorandluciferspouse @holyspacething @kedelman24 @becsmarvel @vash-yuu

MALE VERSION HERE

GN VERSION HERE

“Whoa,” Charlie said upon seeing you.

She had seen your Demonic form before, but it was a rarity and it usually meant that you weren’t doing well mentally.

“Are you okay?” She asked, sucking in air through her teeth, her voice pitching high, indicating that she already knew the answer but didn’t want to point out the obvious in case it upset you further.

“I’m fine,” You answered shortly.

“Really? Because you uh, well,” Charlie twisted her hands back and forth, “You uh, you look a little- I mean, hey, I think you’re beautiful inside and out but when you’re like this it usually means- It’s normally-”

“You’re fucked up,” Vaggie finished for her, getting straight to the point.

“I’m fine,” You insisted, using the words everyone used when they were decidedly not fine. “Where’s Angel Dust?”

“In his room,” Vaggie explained.

“What happened? He was doing so well.”

Charlie’s eyes welled up with tears and she threw her arms around you, sobbing out an explanation, “It was my fault. I asked him about his contract, and he told me not to worry, but I did worry, and then I wanted to make sure he’d be okay when me and Vaggie go to visit Heaven, but he said he didn’t need a babysitter, and then I got Husk involved and Husk told me not to fuck with things I don’t understand, and then Valentino came-”

“Wait, Valentino came here?!” You pulled Charlie off you so you could look her in the eyes.

“Well, not exactly, but he sent his crew here and told Angel they had to film and I said no, and-”

You left Charlie and ran to Angel’s room. Both Charlie and Vaggie followed you as you pelted through the corridors. No wonder Angel had relapsed. That piece of shit Valentino had used Angel’s contract against him. As part of the deal they had made, Angel had to do any work Valentino demanded of him, and that fucking scumbag had dared to invade the one place where Angel felt safe.

Knowing Charlie, she would have pointed out that Valentino couldn’t use her property and would have to wait for Angel at the studio, but that wouldn’t matter. Valentino would play by the rules; it wasn’t really about filming at the Hotel, it was all a matter of proving that Angel belonged to him and that there was no safe place he could hide away.

Besides, even if Valentino hadn’t gotten his way at the Hotel, he would take it out on Angel the next time he was in the studio. It was a lose-lose situation, something that Hell was always too eager to provide.

When you got to Angel’s room, you paused to compose yourself. It wouldn’t help if you sounded too desperate or concerned; Angel didn’t respond well to that. It would make him blame himself for making you worry, and then he would spiral further.

You knocked on the door, “Hey Angel, it’s us. Can we come in please?”

“Go away,” Angel’s heavy accent came through the door, marking him more as Anthony than Angel Dust, though you didn’t say anything about that; there were very few people who knew his real name, and he didn’t like to be reminded of it.

For better or worse, he was Angel Dust; that was who he needed to be to survive.

You glanced at Charlie and Vaggie, then tilted your head, indicating that they should leave. Charlie hesitated until Vaggie placed a hand on her shoulder, then after an affirming nod from you, she let Vaggie lead her away.

“Come on Angel,” You said when they were gone. “It’s just me. Let me in.”

“Piss off.”

You sighed, then sat outside the door, and began talking. You didn’t have a grand speech planned, only what was on your mind, and if Angel wasn’t going to let you in, then it became a matter of letting him know that he wasn’t alone and that you wouldn’t abandon him, though you would respect his space.

“I get it. Valentino fucked with you. He love-bombed you, and that didn’t fucking work because you’re stronger than he is and you’re not going to fall for his shitty manipulation tactics. Now, he’s sending his goons here. It’s all just another one of his games, Angel. Don’t let him win.”

There was no response. You stayed quiet for a minute then were struck with a thought; misery loves company.

“Hey, I also kind of feel like shit today, you know? I kept thinking about Hell and… a lot of things. I told Charlie’s dad how I died. That was fucked up.”

Again, there was no response, but you thought you heard Angel shuffle closer to the door. Until that evening, nobody had heard anything about your mortal life, and now you were talking about it for the second time.

“I was murdered for a snuff film. I still have nightmares about it.”

There was a bluntness to your tone. Although it hurt to state the memory aloud again, albeit in less detail, you decided not to put too much thought into it. If your death could help someone, well, there had to be some good in bringing it up.

You stared at the peeling red wallpaper across from you, just so you had something to focus on. “I’m terrified that one day, I’m gonna walk down the street and see the guys that killed me. Like, what do you even do in that situation? Call them out? They’re in Hell, that’s punishment enough, right? Will they find it funny to see me again? Find new ways to hurt me?”

I honestly don’t know what I want in this scenario. I don’t want them to die, ‘cos then they’ll be here, but if they live, they’ll do this to other people. Kidnap them, sell them to the highest bidder, film it for the black market. I dunno… I’ve been here for a year, and I keep thinking about that.”

The door opened and you fell back, looking up at Angel’s concerned face.

“That’s the most fucked up shit I’ve ever heard.”

He lifted you up, setting you right with two arms, while the other two brushed you off.

“So… this is you?” He asked, taking in your rag-doll appearance.

You laughed and imitated his voice, your Demonic abilities kicking in to mimic him perfectly, “I can be anything you want, bay-by.”

“That’s the hottest you’ve ever sounded.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You waved him off blasély. “Just let me in, okay? I can help.”

“So, uh, with the voice, and the-” Angel gestured at your new look, moving his hands in a circular motion, “Can you uh- Be other people?”

“I don’t know,” You said slowly, looking at your hands, “Never tried.”

You concentrated for a moment, trying to transform back to your original self. Usually, it was effortless. Yet, as you stared at the stitches that bound you together, you found it difficult to do more than revert to your original skin colour. Seeing that beneath the stitches was somehow worse, so you stopped trying to change, accepting that for now, you were a ragdoll.

You shrugged your shoulders, “Fuck it. I am what I am, and that’s all that I am.”

You caught sight of Angel’s precious pet pig. Scooping him up into your arms and cuddling him, you cooed in a baby voice, “Besides, you still love me, don’t you Fat Nuggets, yeeeees, precious baby.”

Sitting down on Angel’s bed, you looked up at your friend, deciding that it was better not to let the difficult conversation wait and fester.

“Soooo…” You scratched Fat Nuggets behind the ear, “Charlie told me that you relapsed. Wanna talk about it?”

Angel sighed and flopped back onto the bed so he was lying next to you, his legs planted on the floor.

He dragged two hands over his face, the other two lay despondently over his stomach.

“I- It was just such a shitty day, and Val sent those pricks here, not that they could fill any holes. Wrong kind of pricks, you know?” He half laughed, but it died when he realised the joke wasn’t funny in such a shitty situation.

Still, you smiled at him. When Angel was sad, he didn’t always need someone to sympathise with him. He needed to see that you weren’t going to change and start treating him differently. Sometimes that meant just listening, but other times it meant making the meanest jokes you could think of and laughing at how horrible everything was.

You were his Wanker-anchor, chaining him to reality by being a dick; Husk was the best at it, but seeing as he was nowhere to be found, Angel had you instead.

“Here,” Angel held up a small sealed bag, with his stash in it. So, he hadn’t relapsed after all. He’d just come very close.

“No thanks,” You joked, “I’m full from all the crack I had at breakfast.”

Angel got up and punched your arm, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one,” You took his stash, tucking it away in your pocket, then you stood up, leaving Fat Nuggets on the bed, and you offered Angel your hand. “Come on.”

“What-”

“You need a distraction. So, I challenge you, Angel Dust, teach me how to dance.”

“You’re fucking kiddin’, right?”

You shook your head. “You can dance, I can’t and I’m bored. So, come on, give me some lessons. It’ll be good to get moving.”

“When you fail, can I call you a retard?”

“Fuck no. You can’t say retard anymore, what the fuck is wrong with you. You can insult the shit outta me, but keep your terms acceptable, okay?”

Honestly, Angel had thought he was up to date on what insults and trash talk were deemed acceptable, but evidently, he was wrong.

“Alright, I’ll teach you to dance, but you gotta keep me updated on all the latest slang, and what’s changed up there,” He glanced up as if he could see Earth.

“I’ve been dead a year, bud. A lot can change in that time,” You said, thinking about all the ways you were probably outdated.

Angel grabbed his phone and turned up the tunes, “Sounds like a coward’s excuse to get outta teaching.”

And so it was that you and Angel started to dance. It was nothing like his work, or when he was forced to pimp himself out in clubs as a form of ‘networking.’ Instead, it was stupid, fun, and uncoordinated with you as his partner. Christ, he had never danced with someone so terrible. You let him lead, and together, the two of you laughed at each other’s expense and forgot all about the shitty things that had happened that day.

Up in his Radio Station, Alastor grinned sinisterly. He had heard you quite clearly as he went about his business in the Hotel. You were murdered? How delightful. Victims were so easy to manipulate. Furthermore, you were a ragdoll. Oh, how wonderfully he could exploit that power.

All it would take was an invitation of friendship, a desperate situation, and an offer of assistance. When Alastor had sent Husk away on an errand earlier, he hadn’t imagined it would turn out so wonderfully.

Now, there was a new piece on the chessboard, and Alastor was determined to capture you as his pawn.

Your soul would be his.

[sktrhoon]

en- hyung line ; scenarios based off songs that remind me of them

boyfriend!hyung line x fem!reader

warnings: just a whole lot of fluff, guess you could say jake's is suggestive ???? (not really, it just alludes to it)

wc: 1082

synopsis: all of this is just cutesy banter or member telling reader they adore them

a/n: if these sound repetitive i'm sorry-- OH and it's very obvious what inspired jake's

heeseung

always, i’ll care by jeremy zucker 

You sighed as your phone finally went off, the time reading 2:11am. You knew the time zones wouldn’t be easy to adjust to, Heeseung’s schedule not helping in the slightest, but that doesn’t mean you were prepared for it to be this exhausting mentally. 

“Hey doll, sorry if I woke you,” Heeseung’s voice rang through the phone. 

“No- no you’re fine. I was up,” you murmured, not having it in you to speak at a normal level. 

Heeseung’s only been on tour for two weeks and it’s testing your relationship in ways you didn’t think was possible. The constant traveling, concerts, and additional schedules thrown in has made it difficult for the two of you to communicate the way you did when he wasn’t on the road. Some days you would go all day without even a text from your boyfriend until the night (for him), which you can’t fault him. You try not to. You’ve talked about it with him and he explained his situation, so you try to be understanding. 

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“You know I love you and I care about you, right?” 

Hearing those exact words with your current mental state felt like a knife to the chest and you didn’t know how to respond.

“I know right now isn’t great, these additional schedules and very little downtime isn’t helping and I know that shouldn’t be an excuse,” before you could even cut him off saying he doesn’t need to apolgoize, he beat you to it, “and no, I need to say this. So don’t say ‘don’t worry about it’, ‘it’s fine’, it might be at times, but not every day.” 

“I’m always going to be here even if I’m the most busy man alive and on the other side of the planet, no matter what. I never want you to be afraid to text or call me. I’m always going to care.” 

jay

wherever you are by one ok rock

You looked over to Jongseong, him strumming on a guitar that he found in one of the various practice rooms. His voice was filling the silence with a subtle humming while his hands danced around the frets, but he never actually strummed the guitar.. 

“What are you thinking, bub?” 

He looked up to you with a small grin on his face before shaking his head, almost as if he didn’t want to say what was on his mind, “Making sure I remember something.”

“And what is that lover boy?”

“First of all, never call me that again. Second of all, you know that song you kept talking about last week?” 

“Wherever you are by ONE OK ROCK?” 

“Mhm,” he smiled before looking down at the floor as he started strumming the chords of the song you gushed about to him just a few days prior. 

You won’t lie, but you thought the song was very him. Vocally, the instrument, even just the tone of song, it all reminded you of your boyfriend. You also happened to just enjoy the song, so you showed it to him when he came back from a schedule one day. You did not expect him to use his freetime to learn the song for you, let alone this quickly. 

“Before I start singing, sorry if I mess up any lyrics. More importantly though, I mean every lyric of the song and I’m grateful you showed it to me. I’m always by your side, yea?”

“Now look who’s being fucking corny!” 

jake

nonsense by sabrina carpenter 

Spending the evening with Jake running around like children at a random arcade is exactly how you would want to spend your Friday night, so that’s what you two did. Jake won’t admit, but the stuffed animal you’re carrying back up to your apartment right now? You won it and before you could grab it from the machine, Jake lunged for it, all so he could be the one to “give” it to you. You know damn well the photo he took of you with it is going to be set to the rest of the boys with some sort of caption claiming, “look what I won for my girl.”

“Jake, are you sure you don’t want to carry the stuffed animal? Since it looks like I won it for you and all?”

“Now why are we lying baby?” 

“Jake!”

“Oh looks like we’re at your place,” he smiled as he waited to the side of the door as you grabbed your keys. 

As you opened the door you paused in front of Jake and looked at him, waiting for either some sort of response or action. All he was doing was leaning against the wall, so you had no idea if he was going to kiss you goodbye, follow you inside, or give you another witty remark.

You sighed before letting out a small laugh, “Do you want to come inside?” 

A faint smirk fell upon Jake’s face as he, oh so not subtly checked you out, before reaching to shut the door behind you. 

sunghoon

feels like by gracie abrams

“Hoon, you’re spacing out a bit bub…”

“Hm, sorry,” he shook his head slightly at your words before refocusing his gaze on you rather than the iced coffee on the table. 

“Do I even ask what you were thinking about?”

“Mm.. that you bring me peace.”

“Huh?” You were caught off guard by Sunghoon’s words. It wasn’t often he would express himself like that, but in Sunghoon fashion when it did happen it was random one-liners at the most odd times, “Sorry- that sounded harsh didn’t it?”

Sunghoon laughed lightly before replying, “No, love, it didn’t. But, I mean what I said. We could be doing anything, be anywhere, and I feel, calm? Everything else doesn’t matter for a bit.” 

“You’re such a fucking dork Hoon,” you paused for a brief second gauging his reaction to your words. A smile lit up his face as he raised an eyebrow at you, encouraging you to keep talking. “I hope you know I could say the same to you, but randomly telling me this in a coffee shop? Very Sunghoon of you.” 

“I know, thank you – And you love me for it anyway.” 

“Always and forever.” 

Sunghoon looked between the two of your now empty drinks before looking up at you, “So… movie at yours now?” 

“We do this every week Hoon, you know my answer is always yes.” 

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[stqrgirlie0]

⋆toxic!theo⋆

now we’ve all hear of theo in a healthy and loving relationship, however in a toxic one? Probably the worst. Things would start off good, you guys would be all over each other, all the time. Everything would be great, unit it wouldn’t. After a few weeks, theo would grow bored and tired of you. He’d talk to other girls right in front of you, on purpose. And then when you’d confront him about it he’d get all defensive, make you think that you’re the one who’s wrong. He’d accuse you of being controlling and that he’s allowed to have ‘friends’ who are female. Despite being emotionally done with you, he wouldn’t break up, because he lovees getting you all riled up to the point where you are so mentally exhausted with his mind games, that you just give up. You give up, and you let him win, again and again and again. You guys would argue every single day, and it would always be in his dorm- because there’d always be something to go confront him about, no where other than his dorm. Leaving a toxic relationship isn’t easy, and when it’s with theo-it’s even harder. All your friends say to get out of it before it’s too late, but you’ve already ran out time. Confrontation doesn’t affect him, all the more reason for you to not leave him just to accept the challenge of making him care- just once. You would be screaming your lungs out and he’d just stand there, with a stupid smirk on his face as watches you pace around the room while shouting, and wonders what your thighs would look like locked around his head, your hands brushing out his fluffy curls and your mouth chanting out his name instead of whatever you were saying right now. Eventually the previous becomes a reality. It was almost like an indirect apology, yet theo had no intention of apologising, he just wanted to keep you hooked on for the next few days until he would do it again. suddenly everything’s fine. Well it’s not, but that’s how he’ll be pretending it is for the next few days. It’s this and his love bombing that made it so hard for you to leave, you hate it but you don’t. It’s a tricky one, but the cycle goes on, and on, and on. And oh my god this man is so stubborn, he cannot and will not change himself for you. During the honeymoon period of your relationship, his smoking didn’t really bother you, he wouldn’t be smoking all the time, maybe once every two or three days (sounds very unlikely I know). But after things got a bit more strained, he’d smoke multiple everyday- maybe even finishing the whole pack in a day. It was horrible. You hated the smell, and the worst thing was that it was everywhere. on nights when you and theo would supposedly ‘make up’, every corner of you would be infested with the scent, lingering on your clothes for the next few days. on the other nights when you’d go back to your dorm, alone and crying, you’d toss and turn in your bed. The scent would arise, from your pillows, duvet, hair, clothes, and it’d remind you of him. Shamefully you’d admit that sometimes the smell mixed with his signature cologne, would automatically drop you to your knees (don’t worry girl, me too), not that he minded. Honestly he loves seeing you from above, it just engraves the power dynamic between you two into his psychotic little brain, inflating his ego more than it already is. god he hated you, but oh how he was in love with you even more, infatuated and obsessed- feeding his desire of seeing you crying your pretty eyes out because of him, shouting with your pretty voice at him, pulling at your pretty hair because of him. Yeah, he’s (very much more than) borderline insane, but girl, as soon as you learn the rules of his games, he’ll wish he never started it.

a/n: guys if your s/o reflects any behaviour above- LEAVE. this is not meant to be normal!! This piece is not in any way condoning toxic behaviour- just a little writing task seeing what I can come up with

#something I started ages ago and decided to finish #YALL IM SORRY BUT IM GON HAVE TO HOLD OFF PART 4 FOR A BIT LONGER #work is killing me and I have easter break to catch up😭😞 #pls take this as a peace offering🙌🏼🙂

[deathbyamantadine]

James Wilson has an anxiety disorder and I’m going to tell everyone about it.

That was a really long title and pointless. I could have stopped after the first six words.

Anyways, hi, hello, if you don’t know me, my name is James and I really like James Wilson. I also like writing a lot. I also have an anxiety disorder. That led to this amalgamation of headcanons and thoughts about James Wilson.

So, I don’t even know how to start this. Fair warning, I have completely canon divergent headcanons with no canon evidence and just pure projection. I also use commas way too much.

Besides projection, why do I think he has anxiety? Well, I relate to him a lot and lots of his canon social behaviors do reflect my experience as well as others’ experiences with GAD or SAD. I think it goes ignored a lot with Wilson that a lot of his behaviors like people pleasing or having few friends is actually symptom of anxiety. Also, anxiety and depression are often comorbid or associated. In the show, specially that Social Contract episode, it’s SUPER apparent. As someone who headcanons he has both, his “I don’t have to worry around you” monologue to House could be read as a symptom/sign of GAD or ASD. I’m not going to get into my personal social anxieties and such, but I relate to that monologue HEAVILY. Stressing about what you say and having to mask your anxiety around people who don’t understand is a lot. There’s like, two people I can talk to without stressing the fuck out. Back to Wilson, though. His fear of breaking rules is also Anxiety™️ Symptom #1000. He is the most typical man ever on the show, or at least outwardly appears as one. He often fidgets with his hands while he talks and I know that’s because RSL is a stage actor but a guy can dream, alright?

People pleasing. Oh, boy. I could talk about this one for hours. James Wilson loves pleasing people, it doesn’t mean loving people for some but it does for him. He constantly needs to be needed, he always has to be helping, yet he’s never helped. He doesn’t want to speak the things he’s feeling because he feels that means being a burden!! that means being wrong!! that means letting people down!! He likely enjoys being with House so much because he knows it’s impossible to let him down, he doesn’t have to necessarily worry about pleasing him because House is like, very aware of what he’s thinking. House doesn’t give a fuck about what people feel most of the time.

Onto the less canon stuff and just more headcanon and/or projection stuff:

He has obsessive interests he uses to cope, like films. I’m basing that off of his posters and also… myself. This is projection, here.

He cannot do a lot in a short span of time. Worrying takes a lot of his energy and he needs recovery days. He’ll often just sleep for over 12 hours because he had to talk a lot and that means worrying and preplanning everything he was going to say.

He was either late-diagnosed or doesn’t even realize he has anxiety. Yes, he’s a doctor, that sounds odd but let me explain. Men around his age, but also in general, aren’t too open about their mental health struggles. They just think it’s normal. If he was late diagnosed, it was likely when he was seeking out a depression diagnosis. Off topic but can we talk about that for a moment? The show ignored that after the one mention. Season four spoilers ahead so skip to the next bullet point if you’re not there. Here are some filler words so people can scroll. Yadda yadda yadda. HIS GIRLFRIEND DIED!! THAT WOULD FUCK WITH ANYONE BUT ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WITH MDD!! Also, he’s medicated. Medication typically means it was affecting his day to day life. Medication means admitting something wasn’t right and that was likely very hard for him!! Anyways.

His first panic attack scared the living hell out of him. If he was young and still living with his family, he didn’t want to be a burden. He sat in his room sobbing for hours on end because he didn’t understand why his body was doing this. (Chest pain, shaking, not listening to him repeating Calm Down like a mantra, etc.) If he was older, I imagine he likely still didn’t tell anyone but it scared him for a different reason. It meant to him that he was broken. It meant to him that he needed something. He needed help and that scared him.

Intrusive thoughts. I imagine they got worse after S4 finale happened. That’s really it.

Coping? What’s that? He just ignores it.

Once again, breaking rules horrifies him.

That’s all. Goodbye. I do see the possibility of a lot of these being interpreted as ASD but I have a whole other post for that, maybe. Comment any thoughts and feelings. Be nice.

[chishiyaisasnack]

Shower time

Here’s a fic that I’ve been working on for a good while now and I’m finally content with posting it. It’s sfw even though it’s a shower scene. Mostly fluff (?) and a tiiiiiny but of angst.

Disclaimer! This story is based in the Borderlands and it mentions blood, wounds and trauma from it. It’s not about how they got injured, but more so very mildly describing that they are injured. I consider it sfw but it does contain nudity since they’re taking a shower, but I’m not describing bodyparts or anything. Also, small references to sex just for humor, but there is no smut whatsoever.

Oh, and the reader doesn’t know that Chishiya is a doctor.

I’ve written and am posting on mobile so I’m sorry for any formatting issues.

”I’m going to take a shower.”

With strong steps - actually more like a wobble - you walked into your room at The Beach, Chishiya following close behind you, watching your every movement just in case you would trip over your own feet, like you already had done about 30 times since you left the game area. It had been a rough one and it had left you wounded, exhausted and a bit lethargic. Not to mention the strain it had taken on your mental state, like the games always did, but you had turned off your feelings for now and had only one goal in mind: a long, warm shower to wash off all the remnants of the game.

”No you aren’t, it can wait until tomorrow.” Chishiya sounded like he always did, bored and condescending, but you knew that there was some worry in there somewhere. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered to follow you all the way back to your room, offering to catch you when you’d eventually fall.

”I feel gross. I’m covered in … stuff.” Blood. You were covered in blood. You raised your arms to make your point clearer, in case he missed what an absolute mess you were right now.

”Fine. Come on then.” Chishiya sighed, walked around you, and went towards the bathroom while you stood confused, watching him open the door and look back at you before stepping inside.

”Wait, what?” you asked, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Why was he joining you?

With slow steps you followed him, wondering if he got the wrong idea. He was gorgeous, but sex was the last thing on your mind, especially shower sex. Didn’t he say that you were in no condition to even take a shower to begin with? You stopped in the doorway and waited for a response.

”You most likely have a concussion, you’re wounded and you’re exhausted. You’re going to collapse by yourself.” He turned on the shower and let the stream of water fall, waiting for it to turn hot.

”Okay, okay, doctor.” The smirk you got back confused you even more. Did he have a thing for being called ’doctor’? It wouldn’t suprise you, he was a mystery. But even him would surely have preferrences. Wait, why were you thinking about sex again?

You shook your head as you walked inside the bathroom, limping past Chishiya as he was making his way out again. Or so you thought. In the corner of your eye you saw him stretch, but it wasn’t until you turned around that you saw what he really was doing.

”Uhh, why are you taking your clothes off?” Your eyes widened as his hoodie hit the floor. He had no shame, appearantly getting naked with you without warning was completely normal in his world.

”I’m getting ready to help you when you realise that I was right. Don’t worry, I won’t join you until you ask me to. Which will be soon, so I’m preparing for that.”

You didn’t know if you should feel thankful or offended by what he said.

Chishiya however, smirked again, cocking an eyebrow at your dumbfounded look. He was enjoying this. While still looking at you he started to pull down his shorts. Your eyes were fixed on the pile of clothes he had created on the floor, which thankfully wasn’t added with more pieces since he decided to keep at least his boxers on. The daring look he had on his face when you turned your eyes back up was annoying. Did he like that you were looking at him? Not that you were looking at him like that anyway. You just wanted to take a shower. Or so you told yourself.

With his shirt and pants off he sat down on the toilet seat, turning around so that he had his back against you and the glass wall of the shower.

”Go ahead” he said, a hint of amusement hiding in his voice. ”I won’t look.”

”You better not” you huffed back at him, watching him carefully while you started to remove your own clothes, ripped apart and stained with blood. Instead of putting them in a pile you threw them straight into the trashcan. Once removed, you looked into the mirror over the sink and you almost gasped at how wounded you actually were. Cuts and bruises covered your arms, legs and back. Patches of your skin were stained red, even your face still had traces of blood left on it. You looked terrible.

Sighing, you stopped studiyng yourself and looked over your shoulder. Chishiya was still sitting with his back against you, shoulders rising and falling slow with every breath, the muscles of his back tensing when he moved. He looked soft. You wondered what he would look like wet.

No! This was not the right time to daydream about Chishiya and his pretty back, his blonde hair that fell in waves over his shoulders, those shoulders that probably would feel great to hold on to while your lips were… Oh, for fucks sake, just get in the shower y/n.

After disrupting yourself from your thoughts you made your way into the shower, closing your eyes as the water started cascading down your body. The glass wall seperating the shower and the rest of the room was conveniently half covered with frosted glass so that it covered most of your body, from your shoulders down to your knees, making you a bit less embarrassed over being naked in the same room as him. Being naked in front of someone when it wasn’t sexual wasn’t your idea of calming, and even though he had no shame, you still had. This was too intimate, too casual. But if it was what it took to take a shower then you’d do it. Even though you didn’t like to admit it you did trust Chishiya to treat you with decency and respect. He might be considered one of the people you shouldn’t trust in the borderlands, a bad person perhaps, but not bad enough to overstep someones boundaries like this.

”Let me know when you need me.” Chishiyas voice rang somewhere in the distance. Not even a ’if you need me’. He was too confident and it just made you even more stubborn. You were definitely able to take a shower by yourself, you were damned to not let him win this one, you told yourself while reaching for the soap. With unsteady hands (no, they absolutely weren’t unsteady because you were tired) you started to scrub the dirt off yourself, one part at a time. You hissed whenever you discovered a new wound you weren’t aware of and eventually the pain from it made you a bit dizzy. No, you could do this.

You clenched your jaw as you continued, slowly moving from head to toe, covering yourself with suds. Finally, everything you could see and feel was gone, so you let the stream of water fall over you once again, closing your eyes, enjoying the warmth that it gave. You felt your muscles relax, your breathing slowing down, your eyelids getting heavier…

”Chishiya…” you mumbled weakly, mad that he was right, again.

”I’m here.” A voice right behind you made you jump. You turned around and swung your fist towards him, ready to punch him out of pure panic, but he caught it before it landed on him. The borderlands had really done a number on you, you were constantly prepared for survival and appearantly even Chishiya was a victim of your anxiety. ”Calm down, it’s just me.”

”How long have you been standing there?!” You wobbled to the side as you tried to fight your bodys urge to fall onto the ground from the sudden movements. Chishiya steadied you by holding your upper arms, and helped you turn back around so that your back was facing him again.

”You moved slower and slower so I was ready when you called for me. I haven’t been standing here ogling.”

”So you have been watching me?” You didn’t even think about the fact that you probably flashed him completely just now. Well, if he saw something he didn’t care about it, which was comforting in this situation.

”Of course. I couldn’t see anything other than your head anyway. It wasn’t quite the show you think it was.” Chishiyas voice was dripping with amusement.

Once again, you didn’t know if you should be thankful or offended.

”Give me the schampoo bottle.” Chishiya asked, or rather commanded, reaching his arm out next to you so you could hand him the bottle. Once he got it you could hear him shake it before opening it and pouring out some of the liquid in his hand, followed by a low thump as he put it on the floor behind you.

Slender fingers moved over your hair, softly massaging it with his fingertips, giving you full body shivers from the way his fingers drew circles between the strands. It felt nice. Safe. You couldn’t help but to close your eyes again and just relish in the warmth radiating from his hands. He was so careful with how he touched you, slow and gentle while he worked his way through all of your hair.

A part of you wished that he would step closer so that you could feel the warmth from his body wrap around you, so that you could lean back and relax in his arms, just enjoying how your body would feel so at ease while being comforted, but you had no idea how to ask him for that without it sounding sexual.

”Shower head, please.”

You did as he asked and handed him the shower head, turning up the water pressure while doing so to make it easier for him to rinse.

”Close your eyes and bend your head backwards. Tell me if you feel dizzy.” Chishiya didn’t sound so stern this time. His words were soft and comforting, asking you to trust him. So you did.

He rinsed your hair in silence. One hand holding the shower head while the other one kept massaging your scalp, making sure to rinse out the schampoo properly. Even though you desperately tried to relax and just enjoy the feeling of being taken care of, you couldn’t stop your emotions from seeping back into your mind. Pictures of the game were flashing before your eyes. People screaming. Fighting. Lasers going off.

”Chishiya…” you whispered, no longer able to stop thinking about what had happend earlier.

”Mhmm..?”

”There was a child there tonight.”

He didn’t answer but you could feel the movements in his hands stiffen as he continued to rinse your scalp free from schampoo.

”I didn’t know that there were children here” you continued, trying to get the thoughts out of your head so you wouldn’t be tormented by them during the night. ”I thought maybe we were sent here to repent or something like that, that we were getting what we deserve. But why would a child deserve this? Even if we are all randomly sent here, without any reason behind why it’s us in particular, why would they choose a child?”

”…I don’t know.” He sounded emtpy when he answered, not that you were expecting his words to be comforting. They rarely were. There was a long pause before he spoke again. ”Did the child make it?”

”Yeah…” A shiver ran trough your body when Chishiya stopped rinsing your hair, already missing the heat from the water. Another thump came from the floor when he put the shower head down. ”Some of us worked together and protected him as much as we could.”

”Do you have conditioner?” he interrupted, sticking his hand out next to you so that you could hand it to him. You placed the bottle in his hand and watched him retrieve it. A click of the bottle cap was followed by another thump when he put it down on the ground. You wondered how many times he must’ve stared at your ass by now.

”Anyway,” you continued, shaking the image of him smirking at your butt away. ”That’s why I look like this. I took the hits for him.”

”That sounds like you.”

You hummed at his words. It was reassuring that you were considered to be a nice person, even in this hellscape.

Gentle fingers threaded through your hair again and you leaned into the touch. It went by faster this time since he didn’t need to scrub, although you wished he would keep doing this for hours. Every time he let go of you - this time to pick up the shower head again - the ache in your body took over, making you tremble ever so slightly even though the steam from the hot water was surrounding you. You were relieved when you felt the water against your back, contently closing your eyes and bending your head back into Chishiyas palm.

”I envy you sometimes.” Chishiya mumbled, so quiet that the sound of the water almost drowned it out.

”You do?”

”I wouldn’t have helped someone else if it meant that I would have to work for it, let alone get hurt from it.” Chishiya paused briefly, like he was choosing his words carefully. ”Especially not a stranger. You didn’t think twice about doing so.”

”I don’t believe that.” You cut him off before he got the chance to put himself down even more. ”You’re better than you think, Chishiya. Just look at what you’re doing for me right now.”

”I’m washing your hair, I’m not saving you from dying.” You could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

”You don’t have to save me from death to help me. This is helping me. Besides, from the sound of your attempts to stop me from showering, I could die in here if you didn’t help me.”

”Maybe I just wanted to see you naked” Chishiya joked with such a monotone voice that anyone else would think he was serious, but you knew better. Well, if he was serious he had gotten his wish - paired with a fist coming at his face.

”Right” you snorted, too tired to laugh. A blush still crept over your cheeks, imagining his eyes on you in that way. ”Keep telling yourself that if that makes you feel better.”

”There” Chishiya ignored your answer and handed you the shower head. Cold air rushed to your skin as the water left it, leaving you almost begging for him to continue. Would it be so bad if you did?

”You can turn off the water now. I’ll get you some towels. Stay there.”

With a pout you put the shower head back into it’s place and turned off the water. Behind you, you could hear how Chishiya was gathering towels from a drawer, his footsteps making their way back over the tiled floor that would be cold and uninviting for your own feet in a second.

”Lift your arms a little.” You did as he asked and lift your arms halfway up, stopping waist high, only to see Chishiyas arms poking out from under them, holding up a towel that you thankfully grabbed a hold on and quickly wrapped around yourself to try to regain some of the warmth that the shower had given you.

”You’re safe to turn around now.”

”Thank you” you quitly replied as you gently spun around, just to be met by a still undressed Chishiya with his own towel hanging around his neck and a soft expression on his face. If you didn’t know better you would think that he was worried about you.

A smaller towel was in one of his hands - which soon landed on your head, covering your face at the same time. Your sour expression that was revealed as you peeled it off made him grin.

”Do you want help to dry it?” He asked, eyes shiny from amusement, and watched as you stubbornly started to squeeze the ends of your hair, too tired to lift your arms up and dry it completely.

”No, I’ll just put the towel over the pillow when I sleep. It’s fine” you replied, following his example and put your own towel over your shoulders. The chill in the air was starting to really get to you, and you decided that you couldn’t get to the bed fast enough. Just thinking about laying down, surrounded by warm covers, maybe even a pair of socks on your feet at first, burying your head on the pillow…

”The wounds on your back looked fine but I still need to cover some of them with bandaids. I need to examine your front too. Let me know when you’ve covered up so that I can check your arms, legs and stomach.”

Ugh, why did he have to interupt your dream about your bed with another naked request? You just wanted to sleep.

”I’m sure I’ll be fine Chishiya” you groaned back at him, slowly (and unsteadily) making your way past him and towards the bed. You could see the light at the end of the tunnel, just a few more steps and you’d reach the doorhandle, that doorhandle that would open the gate and lead you straight towards the nice, warm, fluffy….

You groaned even louder when you felt a hand grip your arm, stopping your weak attempt to get out of the bathroom and keeping you still while Chishiya made his way around you so that he was facing you again. That calm face was back and you didn’t like it.

”Please, Chishiya, just let me sleep” you pleaded but to no avail.

”Come here.” You had no choice but to move after him, not being strong enough to even attempt to break loose from his grip on your arm, that was keeping you somewhat steady as you plopped one foot in front of the other until you reached the end of the bathroom. Then - lo and behold - Chishiya opened the door and led you out into the hotel room, making your way straight towards the bed. Right as he reached the foot of the bed he stopped and slowly turned the two of you around in a circle so that your back was now facing the bed, and then pushed you back so that you fell down on the soft duvet cover with a yelp. It felt like heaven to finally lay down, like a cloud was enveloping you and taking you with it to the land of dreams.

”Where are your underwear?” Chishiya once again interrupted your inner monolouge.

”Why? Wanna see them so badly even though you’ve already seen me naked?” You rolled your eyes and leaned your head to the side so that you could watch him dig around in a dresser until he grabbed the first, best pair of panties he could find and threw them at you.

”Put them on please, unless you want me to examine you naked. I’m fine with either way.”

You just huffed at him, secretly liking the playful look he was giving you. When he turned his back to you, you managed to shuffle around and get your panties on, just to let your legs fall back down onto the bed with a loud thump. God, you were exhausted.

”I’m done, doctor.” Once again, he reacted with a grin and you were now positive that he had some wierd doctor patient kink and that you were so going to make him confess that. A mission for another day.

Chishiya sat down next to your legs and reached over them to pick up a first aid kit you didn’t even know was laying next to you. Was he a wizard too?

You kept still, listening to the opening of packets, a liquid poured onto what you imagined was a cotton ball, and then your own hiss as he touched the first wound on your leg. It wasn’t the liquid that hurt, it was just the tender touch from the gauze he dabbed against your skin that hurt enough to make you wince. He must have started on a bad one.

”Try to keep still” he murmured gently, sounding like he was completely occupied with his task of tormenting you just a bit more before letting you sleep.

You stayed as still as you could, trying to concentrate on his hands and fingers working their way over your legs, dabbing it with the liquid, letting it dry, then putting a compress and some adhesive tape over it like a home made band aid. His touch was so gentle that it was barely there.

Your eyelids turned heavier with every touch of his fingertips and even though your wounds were stinging, his warm skin eased the pain afterwards and comforted you without knowing so. Before falling asleep you murmured a ”thank you.”

The last thing you remembered was the feeling of being enveloped in something warm, probably the cover that wasn’t underneath you and a soft whisper.

”You’re welcome.”

[bgomtori]

☆ casual - cbg

synopsis -> was everything casual? or something more?

-> beomgyu x afab!reader

-> friends to lovers?.. "more than friends less than lovers." angst, fluff, suggestive

-> warnings! situationship typa problems :( , self-harm, implications of self isolation, beomgyu can be an ass if you think about it.

-> note! this has been on my mind for a while now, sooo as a way to comeback to tumblr, i'm writing this :D BUT IM BACCKKKK!! i actually have 1 paper left but it's fairly easy to score soo i have a LOTT of time to write now!! also i'm really rusty right now SO IM SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES 😞🙏🙏

was it casual now?

beomgyu was confusing, so confusing. one second he’s all over you and affectionate, the next he’s just friendly and nice. you’ve always tried to let it slide but it has been eating you whole from the inside, no ‘platonic’ friend would do this, what the hell does he want from you. a relationship? a regular friendship? you can’t even answer it, not even your mutual friends can answer that question. you’ve constantly been caught in the pretense of a friendship or something deeper, you definitely wanted the latter.

beomgyu has always been close to you, you met him in middle school, at the playground, where he invited you to play a lame game of ‘freeze tag’ with a bunch of his friends. fortunately, or unforturnately, the friendship stayed throughout the years of ups and downs, but now you are stuck with the constant thought of, ‘is this something friends normally do with each other?’. how can it be casual when you know how soft his lips were against your skin, how he tasted like, how his body felt like against yours? these questions were left unanswered.

was it casual when you kissed all my scars and told me that there was more of me to love?

highschool was a rough time for you, having to balance studies, co-curriculars and your social life was not easy. you often found yourself mentally drained, and always out of it. beomgyu noticed all of these signs, yet you wouldn’t tell him anything, which eventually upset him. what was so secretive to the point you had to hide it from him. your best friend.

beomgyu needed to know, he didn’t want you to suffer alone, he wanted to be your light, your pillar of support. he went over to your house one day, just to chill. as soon as you opened the door, he noticed how detached you seemed, he could see it in your eyes even if you looked perfectly normal. he shut the door behind him, following you up to your room after greeting your parents. when he entered your room, he was shocked to see how messy it looked, which was unlike you at all.

“sorry for the mess, i didn’t have time to clean up at all..” you mumbled a quiet apology, sitting on your bed, looking up at him as he stood there.

“no, it’s alright.” beomgyu shook his head, making his way to your bed, sitting beside you. his eyes scanned your figure, before falling onto your arms. there were scars, scratches? no. he knew it wasn’t that, no cat would scratch a person that many times at the same spot. beomgyu’s eyebrows furrowed, how did he not notice? was he blind?

“yn. let me see your arm.” beomgyu asked, his voice sounded firm and worried. you started to panic, you forgot to cover them up before he came.

“it’s nothing beomgyu..” you denied it, unable to make eye contact with him, the floor of your room suddenly being the most interesting thing you’ve ever chanced upon.

“i’m not dumb yn.” you’ve never heard him this serious before, you reluctantly extended your arm to his direction, letting him inspect it. beomgyu winced at the sight, some were fresh, some were old and recovering. he shifted closer to you, his hands intertwining with yours.

“please.. tell me everything, all your worries and concerns, i don’t want you to suffer in silence anymore yn, you’re very dear to me.” beomgyu’s thumb brushed against your knuckles as if reassuring you that everything is going to be alright. your breath hitched, words stuck in your throat as yout lips quivered slightly. beomgyu noticed this, pulling you close and hugging you. his tight embrace triggered something in your head since you started to bawl your eyes out, letting out everything at once.

beomgyu listened intently, his chin rested on top of your head as he rubbed your back consolingly. he didn't care if you stained his shirt with your tears and snot, he just wanted you to be okay, to find solace in his presence.

after a while, you finally calmed down, your breathing becoming more steady. beomgyu lifted you up from his chest slightly, looking at your red, puffy eyes and pouty lips. his thumb carressed your cheek, wiping away the stray tear that fell from your eye. beomgyu's hand fell from your cheek to your arm, rubbing it.

"you're so strong, i'm proud of you for coping this much.." his words were genuine, so.. comforting. he took your arms, leaving chaste kisses on your scars. at this point, you felt as though the words 'let me kiss your pains away' had come to life. your heart began to race at the sheer feeling of his lips against yours.

"there's more of you to love, so please don't look down on yourself like that again. if you ever feel like your world is crashing, come to me, i'll always be here for you yn." beomgyu mumbled in between his kisses on your arm, his words providing you with perfect reassurance.

the words, "yeah.. i will." was all that you could utter out. beomgyu smiled against your skin, pulling away as he brought you closer to him again, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.

"that's my girl."

was it casual when we went stargazing and you told me that my eyes reminded you of the galaxy?

beomgyu knew you loved space, you've always had a fixation on them, whether it's about meteor showers or the stars beyond, you'd always talk about them. thus, on one random day, he brought you out to a secluded field, away from the chaos in the city.

"why are we here?" you asked beomgyu, following him closely through the grassy field. beomgyu smiled at you.

"stargazing, you told me you've always wanted to do it, so i decided to do my research." beomgyu said, his eyes looking up at the sky, "saw that this place was perfect for stargazing, plus it's close to our neighbourhood, so why not."

you felt your heart skip a beat, he actually listened to your constant whining about wanting to go stargazing but not having anyone to go with. you allowed beomgyu to drag you to the perfect spot, in the middle of the field, to just sit and stare at the stars. the two of you talked as per usual, ranging from harmless bickering to deep talks. your heart swelled in contentment, continuing to watch the stars shine back at you.

little did you know, while you were rambling, beomgyu would take his gaze away from the night sky and look at you, admiring the way your eyes would light up everytime you talked about something you liked.

"y'know, your eyes remind me of the galaxy." beomgyu suddenly muttered out, your eyes widened, along with his. he could feel his ears growing warmer with each passing second.

"huh?" you looked at him, still in disbelief.

"i meant what i said.." beomgyu sheepishly admitted glancing back at you, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. he smiled to himself, before looking back at the pretty night sky.

"yeah i definitely meant that.."

was it casual when you kissed every inch of my body, comparing me to the stardust i was made of?

"do you trust me?" beomgyu whispered, his eyes softening at the way you looked at him. you gave him a quick nod, giving him some sort of approval.

he looks at you with affection and tenderness, each glance warming you to your core. his hand reaches out, fingertips grazing along your jawline. his gaze dips down to your lips, closing off the distance between the two of you. as his lips finally met yours, the kiss was slow, gentle, filled with unspoken emotions, his hands cupping your face carefully as if you were glass. beomgyu was savouring every moment of this, the world around him disappearing.

he pulled away, just to look at your flustered face and to catch his breath. you looked ethereal in his eyes, from the way your lips were swollen from the kiss to how red the apple of your cheeks were. without saying anything, he pulled you in for more. his tongue pushing past your parting lips, exploring your mouth. he pushed you slightly, making you lean on the headrest of your bed.

beomgyu continued on, leaving opened-mouth kisses along your jawline, moving down to your neck and collarbone.

"you're perfect.. so pretty." he mumbled against your skin, his hands intertwining with yours. he lifted his head to look at you, smiling at you fondly, he added on, "you're like stardust, so quiet yet filled with depth and light.."

"since when were you so poetic." you joked, looking straight into his eyes, it was corny, but it made your heart race. beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head.

"not sure, it just comes to mind when i'm with you." he shrugged, his lips meeting your forehead, placing a gentle kiss. your eyes roamed his face, scanning it for no particular reason, you words coming out without even thinking.

"what are we?" your voice was soft, barely a whisper. beomgyu looked at you, raising an eyebrow, "friends. are we not?" your throat went dry at his non-chalant response, fuck you hated it. you were disappointed, at him and at yourself, how could he do all this without any attachment? and why did you wish for so much?

"right.." you mumbled under your breath, letting him kiss you again.

is it casual now?

now that you're older, you noticed how beomgyu runs around, talking to other girls, not bothering about your feelings and the relationship between the both of you. you were pissed, he still had the decency to kiss you behind closed doors, but act differently around you infront of others.

he was in your dorm, laying down beside you, his arms wrapped around your waist loosely, giving you light pecks on your lips. however, you stopped him.

"beomgyu, we can't keep doing this." you pushed him off, scanning his face for any reaction. he looked at you slightly stunned, speechless.

"what?"

"i mean what i said, we need to stop this, you can't keep acting like we're not more than friends. i'm tired of it, it hurts you know." you explained yourself, letting your emotions get the best of you. beomgyu still looked at you speechless, unable to say anything, you took this as a sign to continue.

"if you only see me as a girl that you can just screw around with, then our friendship is done. if the 12 years of us being friends mean nothing to you, then we can stop all of this." beomgyu's eyes widened at your words, panic filling his eyes.

"no, no please don't.. i really didn't mean to hurt you, i'm so sorry." beomgyu shook his head, "please don't leave me, you're everything to me. i'm sorry that i felt you in the dust, i'm sorry that i flirted with other girls, knowing that i might hurt your feelings, i'm sorry for neglecting your feelings everytime. i'll change please yn.."

he was desperate, he couldn't bear seeing you leav him. the only reason why he decided to continue was because he felt like this was the only way he could have you, without the fear of rejection. he hated himself for hurting you like this out of his own selfishness.

"i'll change, we'll be more than friends, i'll drop the act now. i'll continue loving you like how i always did, i won't ignore you anymore." beomgyu begged, rubbing your arms gently. you listened to his words, not knowing if you could trust him.

"we'll start over. i promise i'll be the man you want." beomgyu mumbled, hoping that his proposal would gain a little bit of your trust. you slowly nodded your head, "you break your promise and i'll kill you."

beomgyu chuckled, wrapping his arms around you, leaning his head against your chest, "my life is yours then.."

[spearsillustration]

🔥Upset Rodimus X Cybertronian Reader

Notes: Simply a sad oneshot with a sweet ending. (Y/N) comforting Rodimus during an emotional breakdown. I'm a bit unsure about this. I'm writing this kind of late so it probably isn't very good but it's Rodimus. Anything about this Silly little guy can't be that bad. I'll have to reread this and possibly edit it. 

Word count - 3,563

Page Number - 9.6

        Rodimus normally masked his deprivation with contentment and cockiness, but today, he couldn’t take it anymore. Stifling his pitiful sobs with a pillow, He sat on his berth and wept. Anyone who saw him like this would instantly feel sympathy for the poor captain. When he thought he was alone suddenly a knock sounded at the door. Rodimus immediately set his pillow down and wiped his tears away, doing the best he could before striding to the door and opening it with caution.

---

        I had a weird feeling that something was off with Rodimus so I went to check up on him. He barely spoke at the meeting and left quickly. He wasn't his normal self and I was worried. I had gently knocked on his door hoping he was in his room after looking for him so long. 

        "Hay um, I just wanted to check on you and see if you were okay. You didn't seem like yourself today."

        My worry only grew when he opened his door and I saw his expression.

        It looked like Rodimus tried to conjure up his best “I’m fine” smile and act like nothing was wrong, but he failed pitifully. Hiding his internal turmoil behind a smile, Rodimus spoke, forcing himself to be cheerful. “Ah, (Y/N)… I’m doing just fine. There’s nothing wrong, honest.”

        I only frowned and gave him a sympathetic look. "I know you too well to know that's not the truth. You know if you need anything I'd help right." I said I was trying to reassure him.

        Rodimus let out a shaky sigh. Of course, I wouldn’t buy it. I knew him too well to fall for his facade. “I… I know, (Y/N). Just… please… go. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

        My eyes widened when his eyes started to water. "Please let me help you Rodimus." I almost begged weakly. His teary eyes almost made me tear up immediately.

        Rodimus’s lip quivered as I spoke. “Please, I… I just need to be alone…”

        "I'll only leave if that's what you truly want, but I don't want to leave you, and I have a feeling you don't me to leave either," I begged internally that he'd let me help him. With pleading eyes I gently took one of his hands in mine.

        The second my hand held his larger one, Rodimus’s composure broke. The tears he’d been trying to force back spilled over and ran down his cheeks, staining his perfect facade. “I… I don’t want to be alone, but…” He sobbed, his shoulders shaking with the force of his emotions. He just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

        I pushed him back into his room gently and closed the door behind us. "It's just you and me now Rodimus. I'm right here." I rubbed my thumb against his knuckles tenderly.

        He let me lead him to his berth and pushed down the part of him that tried to say “You’re a burden” or “You’re weak”. He just…Needed another presence. He couldn’t deal with this on his own, no matter how much he’d like to think he could. As I gently ran my thumb along his knuckles, Rodimus leaned over and hugged me tight, burying his face in my shoulder and sobbing like a pitiful sparkling.

        I wrapped my arms around him tightly and ran my hand up and down his back to comfort him and whispered sweet nothing to him. "I'm right here it's okay. Shhhh." I shushed him as he cried, I knew he needed this. He held everything in the back of his mind and kept it away. He was always so playful and optimistic for the team but I knew he was hurting.

        His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs as he wept into my shoulder, clinging to me like his life (and mental health) depended on it. Even through his tears and snot, Rodimus mumbled a quiet “I’m sorry” and leaned into my gentle touch. He was finally allowing himself to be vulnerable.

        "Don't you dare apologize. You'd do the same for me in a heartbeat. Now I'm here for you." I reassured him strictly.

        Rodimus just let out another broken sob and shakily nodded.  All through his tears, Rodimus could only utter another quiet “thank you” to her.

        "Any time," I mumbled back nuzzling closer to him.

        he tightens his grip on me, not wanting to let go. But through the tears and soft sniffling, Rodimus shakily asked a question, “Riley… can you-“ He swallowed harshly, forcing back the lump in his throat. “C-can you stay with me tonight?”

        "Of course, I'll stay with you as long as you need me." I gave him the warmest smile I could muster.

        Through the tears, Rodimus returned her smile with a shaky one.  He still seemed hesitant “You sure? I don’t want to… burden you with me.”

        "I'm more than sure. No one could possibly pull me away from you when you need me."

        Hearing those words sent a shiver down his spine. Rodimus squeezed me tight, still clinging to me like a life raft. He buried his face deep into my shoulder and let out another soft sob.

        "Hay, shhhh. It's alright." I mumbled before kissing the top of his helm Lovingly.

        Still clinging to me for dear life, Rodimus pulled me a bit closer and buried his face in the crook of my neck, relaxing against me. Just seeing him in this much pain had me on the verge of tears but I stayed strong to comfort him.

        As he lay comfortably feeling the soothing rise and fall of my chest as I breathed helped Rodimus calm himself down a bit more. He’d stopped sobbing pitifully at least, now just clinging to me trying to take deep breaths. “Are… are you sure you can stay? Don’t you have your own things to do…?”

        "Not really, and even if I did this is more important." My eyes were a little watery as I spoke.

        It wasn’t long before Rodimus noticed my eyes, his frown worsening slightly. Slowly, he pulled his head out of the crook of my neck to look at me directly and asked a quiet question. “Are you... crying?”

        "No," I answered quickly avoiding it completely. "I'm not."

        Rodimus’s frown only deepened slightly at my answer. It was clearly a lie. He could see the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. He lifted a hand to my cheek and gently wiped away a stray tear. “Yes, you are. Why are you crying…?”

        "I hate seeing you like this. It hurts my spark." I mumbled out.

        I could tell Rodimus felt guilty due to my words. The last thing he wanted to do was cause me pain of any kind. With a shaky sigh, he pulled me as close as he could, holding me against him tenderly, with as much care as possible. “I…I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to see me like this…”

        "You don't have to apologize, I just hate seeing you hurt. You do so much for us as captain and you lift our spirits on the worst days, you don't deserve to be so upset." I had trouble explaining how I felt.

        He’d always tried to be strong for the team, being our rock and their pillar of support and so forth. He wanted to be there for us no matter what. So of course, he didn’t want to burden anyone with his own problems. That’s why he tried to mask everything behind a smile. But he couldn’t do it any longer.

        He slowly let out a shaky breath and spoke quietly. “I’m not that strong though…”

        "You don't have to be, you take on everything alone when me and the others are here to help lessen the burden."

        “Don’t… don’t tell the others about this. I don’t want to worry them… I don’t want them concerned over me-”

        "I'd never tell another soul, this stays between us. I promise." I quickly interrupt him. 

        Rodimus sighed in slight relief at my reassurance that I wouldn’t tell anyone. He wanted to keep this breakdown between us, the fewer people that know, the better. He squeezed me tighter as he spoke again, voice still shaky and quiet. “Thank you… thank you, so much. You’re the only one I trust with this… the only one I can be vulnerable with…”

        "That means the world to me. I'm glad you trust me enough." I nuzzled my face close to his.

        Another shaky breath, and he asked a question in a quiet voice. “Can I… ask why you do so much for me? I mean… you always go out of your way… to care about me, and listen to me, and worry about me… it’s like you put my needs over your own…”

        "I care about you Rodimus."

        It was such a simple answer. He found himself asking another question, just as quietly as the last. “But why…? Why do you care about me…?”

        "Well first off you've been there for me more than anyone else ever has, you look out for others, you're kind, you're funny, and you know how to make other people's day better. And in general, I love... being around you."

        Rodimus blushed softly at my compliments. I could practically hear his spark beating like a drum in his chest as he quietly replied. There was a little shake in his voice as he spoke, almost barely noticeable, but still there. “You… you enjoy being with me…?”

        "Yeah, I'm usually very happy when I'm around you. During missions, work on the ship, normally I'm just happier when you're around."

        His processor went numb for a split second before he asked another question, still in a quiet but shaky voice. He just hoped he wasn’t overstepping or anything like that. “Do… do you feel safe with me…?”

        "Yeah, I could say that. You are a prime after all." 

        The pink on his cheeks darkened ever so slightly as I mentioned the “prime” part. He knew what I meant, of course, but there was a subtle underlayer of meaning in that word that made him a bit flustered. He pushed that thought aside for now, though, and asked another question.

        “Not just… because I’m a prime… but because it’s me you feel safe around? You trust me?”

        "Of course, I trust you more than anyone else. And not just because you're a prime," I answered almost shyly.

        Not just because he was a prime, but because it’s him that I trusted. That seemed so much more important. He was blushing even more than before now, my words overwhelming his processor.

        “Then… what about me makes you trust me so much? What… what do you like about me…?”

        "You've never let me down before, and you've always had my back."

Even through his blush and shock, Rodimus found himself smiling at my answer. That was one of the things he’d always prided himself on, not letting others down, having their back. “What else do you like about me…?”

        "So many questions from you today. What's not to like?" I joke a bit flustered by his prodding.

        Rodimus chuckled slightly at my answer. “But what else do you like about me? Like, specifically?” He asked sounding more like his normal self.

        "Um well, you're pretty funny, your level of sarcasm is nice to have around when most of the others are always stressed out. You make living on the ship more bearable."

        “Is… is that it? Just my humor and me being…uh…“bearable”?”

        "No, you're actually so annoying," I said with a giggle obviously being sarcastic. "You're nice to work with and make missions feel like taxing. You lighten up any room you're in, you're so approachable. It was so easy to talk to you when I first joined the team, the others were pretty intimidating. Not that you aren't strong or anything, being a prime you're obviously the strongest. But you don't flaunt it in a way that makes others wanna avoid you." I accidentally ranted not knowing what to say.

        He let out a soft chuckle “Keep going. Go on, say more. I’m listening…” He said with his well know cocky smirk. 

        "Stop it's embarrassing. I can't." I could almost squirm in embarrassment.

        “No, no, it’s not embarrassing. Not to me. Go on.” His voice was gentler than before, but there was still a hint of demand in his tone. He still wanted more praise and wanted to hear more positive things from me. 

        "Well, what do you even think of me, since we've been talking about you this whole time?"

        Rodimus was a bit taken off guard by my question, but he didn’t let his surprise show. He took a second to think about his answer, but he honestly didn’t have to think long. He had plenty of positive things to say. “Well, firstly, you’re sweet. Too sweet, sometimes. You’re so… caring, and kind. You’re more of a saint than anyone I know… you’re beautiful and funny, and smart… honestly, you’re too perfect for your own good-“

        "P-perfect me? I think you're the one who's too sweet."

        “No, trust me, you are. You’re like a ray of sunshine, you’re kind, sweet, and gentle, you’re beautiful to look at-“ He cut himself off clearly embarrassed. 

        I was completely flustered. Our Captain, a Prime. Though I was... beautiful. "M-me." That is all I could say unable to look into his eyes.

        “Yes, you. You’re perfect. I mean absolutely perfect, you’re beautiful and sweet and kind and caring, and every good thing I could think of-“

        "Rodimus, you can't say all that my Spark might give out. You're too kind"

        Rodimus gently reached his hand up to the side of my face, cradling it softly against his palm. With a teasing tone in his voice, he spoke again, not taking his hand away from my face. “What, can’t handle a little flattery?”

        "No!" I practically squealed out before clearing my throat. "Um, I'm not used to it I suppose."

        "Oh, come now. A pretty thing like you? I can’t believe you're not used to being complimented…”

        "Don't really think about it much." I spaced out for a second.

        Rodimus noticed me spacing out and smiled in a sort of teasing and taunting manner. He gently tilted my head slightly, bringing =my gaze back to his as he continued speaking, still in that quiet, taunting tone. “Then you need to pay more attention. You deserve way more praise than you’ve probably ever gotten… I could go on and on about how incredible you are, and it wouldn’t be enough…”

        "Be careful, I'll start to think you like me or something Rodimus. I said a bit too hopefully for my luck."

        Rodimus paused a moment, before trying to play it off a joke. “Come on, like you, (Y/N)? I mean, you are pretty adorable, but I don’t “like” like you-“

        "I figured, I was just messing with you anyway," I said with a fake smile as my spark sank and almost all the color left my face.

       In a moment of panic, he tried to salvage things. “No, no, I was joking… I didn’t actually mean that, I was just-“

        "It's fine," I said avoiding his optics. 

        He tried to reassure me, still gentle and soft as he spoke. “No, no, really, I’m sorry… I was just trying to joke, I didn’t mean it-“

        "No, like I said it's fine." My voice broke at that last word embarrassingly enough taking me by surprise.

        He felt awful for saying it. He tried to assure me in a gentle voice, still caressing my face in his palm. “No… no really, it’s not fine-“

        "It's fine." I had to say that or I wouldn't be done and I'd start to tear up. "I'm just tired," I said using my usual excuse for trying to get out of anything.

        I knew that Rodimus knew I was lying but I still tried. He could see right through that little “I’m just tired” excuse. It was so obvious what was really going on. I was trying to hide my reaction, my hurt. But still, he found himself gently reaching his other hand up to my face, now cupping my face in both hands as he spoke, tone gentle and pleading. “No, you’re not just tired. Please… just talk to me-“

        "There's nothing to talk about."

        “That’s not true… there is something to talk about… please just talk to me-“

        "Why?" I wined, "it's not important."

        This back and forth, this avoiding and hiding how I was really feeling. He let his frustration show a little now, his voice taking on a new tone of almost demanding irritation. “It IS important. It’s clearly something that’s upset you, so how can you say it’s not important…?”

        "Because it's not. I'll be fine." I tried to truly smile but it was only a poor attempt.

        He forced himself to stay gentle and calm, still holding my face in his hands, though his tone was growing more and more frustrated as he spoke again. “No, you’re not fine, and stop pretending you are-“

        "Well if I say I'm fine I'll be fine. What other options would I have?" I said hopelessly.

        "You could… I don’t know, STOP lying and actually talk to me. You could tell me what’s wrong, be HONEST-“

        "It's stupid. It shouldn't bother me."

        “It’s not ‘stupid’ if it’s hurting you….”

        "Why do you care? It's not like you like me." I mumbled more to myself than anything. 

        He cursed himself silently for what he had said before, how he had hurt me. Instead, he just tried again to assure her that he did care. “I do care about you-“

        "I'm sorry, obviously you care, you're our captain and a friend. But it's different."

        Rodimus paused a moment at my words. Different. It was “different”. He knew what I meant. “Different how?”

        "I L...love being around you, and I care about you deeply. I'm here now after your breakdown because I l...care about you. And even now we're laying together for comfort."

        “You… you love being around me… care about me deeply… because you…?“

        I couldn't look at him.

        “(y/n)…please, just say it…”

        I was practicing trembling. "I want to, but-"

        He spoke again, his voice pleading in a desperate whisper. “But what…? Just say it, please….”

        I slowly looked up into his beautiful eyes. "Oh, Rodimus. Why must you make this so hard for me?" I took a deep breath in and let it out with a sigh. "I...I love you Rodimus. More than anything. You have to see that."

        Those three words, he was almost speechless for a moment but found just enough words to reply, his own voice trembling slightly as he said the words back to her. “I… I love you too, (Y/N)… so much…”

        "Really?" I couldn't believe it.

        Rodimus had to bite back a laugh of utter disbelief. After everything, I was still second-guessing. He nodded his head, still gently cupping my face with trembling hands, his own disbelief showing in his tone as he replied, eyes wide with amazement that this was happening. “Yes, really. With all my spark, I love you….”

        "Rodimus-" I nuzzled my face against his lovingly. "I love you so much." I couldn't help saying it again. I leaned my forehead against his and curled up closer to his embrace. "I couldn't be happier."

        “I’m the one who couldn’t be happier… I never want to let you go….”

        Laying on his chest I could feel the warmth of his spark. It was a completely new feeling that filled me with so many emotions. "Me neither."

        “I could stay here forever… holding you like this…”

        "I can't argue with that. I've never been so comfortable." I said with a yawn.

        “So… you’re comfortable? You going to fall asleep on me now?”

        "I might. You're so warm and I'm so comfy." I mumbled out quite.

        He gently lifted his chin and placed a gentle, warm kiss on the top of my forehead as he continued rubbing my back. “Go ahead and fall asleep, I’ll be here all night.”

        "You'd better be," I said half-jokingly, half-threatening playfully.

        "I have no intention of going anywhere… you’re stuck with me now, Sweetspark.”