#haven't even gotten to lance yet and keith has already gone insane love that for him

[thek1ngtalks]

Keith scowls down at his phone, where he just got into another fight online about the validity of the moon landing. It ended with another account banned.

"People are so dumb," He (does not!) whine to Pidge. "They don't even notice what's right in front of them. And then when I point it out they get all upset because they think I'm calling them dumb---which I am!--- and they keep reporting my blogs."

"That's rough, buddy," Pidge says, unhelpfully.

"I keep saying there's no real proof that the moon landing was real but no one cares," Keith throws himself backwards onto the couch, Pidge barely pulling their laptop out of the way when Keith lands mostly in their lap. "It sucks."

"Keith," Pidge finally says, short tempered, "They're not wrong. If you can't believe them with no 'real proof' then neither can they."

Keith frowns, chewing at his lip. After a second, he hits a brilliant idea and Pidge instantly says, "No."

"I didn't even say anything!"

Pidge meets his pout with a deadpan eyebrow raise, "I know you Keith, that look means nothing good."

"I'm just reflecting on what you said," Keith is not technically lying. "You're right. I can't make them believe me with no proof."

"Ri–ight," They draw out slowly, curious and mildly hopeful. "So you're gonna give up on this whole 'reveal the truth to the world' plan, right?"

Keith smiles, delighting in the way Pidge immediately shudders, "Of course not. I'm going to go back in time and get proof!"

"Why," Pidge slumps back, eyes closed and hands in praying position, "Do I ever bother."

{《☆》}

Let the record show that Keith did not bribe Pidge into helping him. Let the records show that Keith is also a master manipulator and blackmailed them instead.

"I hate you," Pidge says for the fifth time that hour. "I hate this stupid time machine too."

"You love how it's testing your genius, you mean," Keith, running on 2 hours of sleep and 5 battery-acid Redbulls in his system, would never forget to snark at Pidge. "You haven't even started a new nerd project since we've started."

"Keith, I don't have the energy for another project," They grumble, though they don't deny the first bit. "Just be glad you're not the one experimenting with space time. I've never had to create an entirely new element before. I hate you."

"You're the best, Pidge," He says, going back to the Questionable Universe Interupter Zealously Navigating A Chaological Keystone or Q.U.I.Z.N.A.C.K for short, aka the very device that's going to keep them from tearing their bodies apart cell by cell trying to time travel. It's very reliant on Rover, the element Pidge made and honorarily named after their old pet roomba.

Keith had very smartly decided to work on the physical machinery, knowing perfectly well that Pidge would kill him before she took on another task. He also just kinda enjoys building things, even if it's a good 4 feet taller than him, 3x wider and requires so much heavy lifting that his arms might just fall off.

All in all, a worthy sacrifice for a time machine.

"So," He says, faux randomly, "When do you think we'll be done?"

Pidge doesn't look up, her eyes narrowed. "I swear Keith, if you try using this without testing first I may just leave you in however many pieces it tears you into."

"Noted," Keith deflates like a balloon that lost all its helium. Then slowly, he smiles.

"Oh no," Pidge says, looking up from the screen to groan. "No, no no—"

{《☆》}

"I hate you," Pidge says, delighted. "This is the worst idea you've ever had and I think you're absoloutely insane."

"I'm a genius," Keith says, fixing the camera they put on Platt, one of the mice Allura trained for them. Chulatt already has his camera on and is sniffing at Pidge's hand for treats. "If this works, we can have real recorded footage of future mice in the past!"

"Or we can rip Allura's poor mice to shreds," Pidge says, finger stroking down Chuchule's spine. Plachu tugs at her tail, jealous. "Everything's been fine so far for inanimate objects but what if—"

"This is gonna work," Keith says and it ends there. Pidge may be nervous, but they've spent weeks planning this, calculating for every possible failure. If it doesn't work now, it never will. Keith knows it has to. "Beginning countdown," Pidge wipes at their glasses, "We're set to go in 3, 2, 1..."

Keith watches silently, breath held as the mice blink out of existence. The live camera footage cuts out and he eyes the screen warily.

After a few moments, Pidge reaches over to the screen and they wack it. The screen fills with noise before it clears and in a shaky but live capture, they can both see the bottom half of a muscle car.

"Holy shit," Keith murmurs, watching as the mice stumble their way through 1969's version of Texas.

They managed to capture a majority of footage of shoes, some old buildings they recognized (old to them, pretty shiny new here) and a disgusting number of pests crawling around the streets.

"Do you know what this means!" Keith scrambles to Pidge's side, grabbing their shoulders and shaking them wildly.

"We are singlehandedly the greatest scientific minds of our generation and our discovery could change the world forever?" Pidge asks, like a fool.

"No!" Keith says excitedly. "I can finally prove the moon landing was faked. This is great!"

"Oh, great," Pidge says, very much not excited. "I was kinda hoping you gave up on that."

Keith eyes them oddly, "What? Of course not, you're crazy."

"Oh yes," Pidge nods, "I'm the crazy one. Obviously, the crazy one is me."

Keith throws his arm over their shoulder and gives them a noogie. They scowl and he releases them before Pidge gets aggressive. Know your limits, Keith, know your limits.

"Now we just have to bring them back," Keith says. "And then we're golden."

Pidge cracks their knuckles and they both get to work.

{《☆》}

i don't know why but sudden inspiration hit me like a frickin truck. no clue if I'll continue this but damn would it be fun to, the crackfic vibes are great.

Keith is a sceptic who believes the moon landing was faked so he does what any normal person would do; He builds a time machine to see it for himself.

Lance is just a poor, poor nasa employee trying to win the space race.

And then they fall in love.