#have been something about disliking it but at least Wanting to believe in the potential of inherent goodness etc etcetera

[firelightmlpoc]

Hey, just wanted to say good on you for standing up against the completely batshit accusations that have been thrown around the fandom lately. I cannot fathom how anyone believed those screenshots for even a second. I doubt you’ll get an answer, since the harassers are stuck in an echo chamber of validating their actions and will likely just stick their heads in the sand and pretend they can’t hear you. It sucks ass, but seeing that there are at least some people who will publicly question this bullshit is refreshing.

Of course. There’s a reason ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is something that’s supposed to be a baseline for an accusation of actions that have caused harm. After all, if someone makes a false accusation that then is treated as true, then another innocent person gets harmed, & then the waters get muddied for any other accusations thereafter.

After all, if someone lied about harm done & then makes another accusation, who’s to say that accusation isn’t just another lie? Something-something, ‘boy who cried wolf’. Then it also makes any other accusations in the nearby vicinity seem lest trustworthy because people don’t want to be wrong again.

Some people solely jumped on this hate-train specifically because it was against Pansear Doodles, & wouldn’t have interacted with this accusation at all if it didn’t center around someone they didn’t already dislike.

You want proof? Easy.

Look at the accounts saying ‘I always knew that Pansear was bad! Good to get proven right…’ and then look at their accounts. Almost always, they’ve been bashing Pansear (and other artists who do shipping of Slugcats & other similar art) because they just didn’t like the topic. And, instead of just acknowledging that they don’t like that content & moving on, they internalize that dislike & then try to find a reason to attach said dislike to the author. Then, they look for anything the author did wrong (be it true or not) & suddenly cry out:

‘I was right all along for hating this person!!!’

There’s an account that replied to my earlier post which REALLY clearly shows this in action.

@hourglass-meadow .

This reply is what they said.

An ask they responded to directly about Pansear. (Long-winded, yadayada.)

Their response:

And their first response to seeing Pansear gone.

Now, you know how many posts they made about Pansear potentially being a problem? None, except for the ArtiHunter comic, which has nothing actually ’problematic’ within. What about an ‘I hope the victim can find peace…’? Nonexistent.

These people don’t care if these allegations are true or not.

They don’t care who else gets hurt in this mess, as long as it isn’t someone in their circle.

They just want to see a ‘bad guy’ who is someone they don’t like get punished.

They want to claim their righteousness for all the world to see, as they cast judgement; a lynching in the court of public opinion.

And all of this targeting, IF this is fake, is more-or-less because people didn’t like seeing Pansear & others making /shipping/ art.

Because they saw someone else making something that THEY deemed ‘weird.’

There’s something to be said about the current political climate here, be it the Puritanical aspect of eliminating anything ’other’, ‘weird’, or ‘disgusting’ from sight no matter how innocuous/harmless it is;

the ‘Guilty until Proven Innocent’ mindset going around that makes actual victims more liable to not out their abuser out of concern for what will happen to their abuser (As, statistically speaking, abusers tend to be someone close to the abused, before abuse starts.)

Or even just the fact that people are simply emboldened to be as shitty as possible while they believe they’re anonymous online, because they’re of the mindset that they’re immune to consequences because they aren’t being directly known by these internet people in-person.

Don’t believe me? Look at every account celebrating Pansear’s self-eviction from the Rainworld community. Look at their actions & words from before this accusation. And then check what I said again. Cross reference this shit. See that the majority don’t care if there was a victim, much less if the potential victim is ok now or not; they just wanted someone they didn’t like, for one arbitrary reason or another, gone.

Cruelty was the point of many people’s actions against Pansear here, & by jove did they get what they wanted.

Remember folks! Remember this well:

No matter how much you align with leopards-that-eat-people’s-faces, the leopards won’t think twice about your face being next on their dinner plate.

That’s enough words from me for the time being, however.

[vellichorom]

I really like your headcanons for Cori and totally agree with them!

And if you don’t mind my asking, what did you dislike about the recent episodes of Chikn Nuggit? Because personally I dislike a lot of it too…the whole shift to lore has been kind of jarring for me and I also think things were resolved too easily.

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH, THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY!

& OMG THANK YOU FOR ASKING because god i've been pissed. with one episode they made me hate that stupid yellow dog

HERE'S THE THING, RIGHT. i don't even mind the shift from slapstick shenanigans in youtube short format to something that illustrates a bit more lore. in FACT, i thought the way they were going about it was very interesting! having chikn realize his ultimate power & being due to a moment of vulnerability & having been manipulated some by bezel therein,

however,

this is all cheezborger's fault. for some fucking stupid reason

LET'S BACK UP A MINUTE. cheezborger got the girl! she's all excited about it & prioritizing her girlfriend above all, as i think we all do when we're excited; we make whatever we're excited our entire worldview for a bit, it happens!

chikn, at least from my perspective, sees this - sees that all of his friends are busy doing stuff without him or have their " significant other " where he does not - with cheezborger, his best most important friend, caught up in the moment, & he feels left out. he feels like a " third wheel " &- with all of his friends occupied with something or someone else, he's all alone & feels bad. i've been there a few times, i get it. in that moment of vulnerability does bezel take advantage & PUSH chikn to realize his power & potential, to control his friends or control the world & make things how he wants them to be.

suddenly the plot goes from " chikn suffering from third wheel grief " to " chikn coming to terms with the fact that he's a god & his powers have unintendedly warped his friends. we're taking all the nonsense seriously suddenly " okay. interesting. so chikn ascends to god form & starts fucking up the whole world because he believes that's what he's MEANT to do. the conclusion of his spiraling is realizing that he was meant to cause chaos & rip apart the world? ok. i think we jumped a bit far, how & when did he decide that

now we're leaning really hard into the ' i have to do this because it's my DESTINY ' trope. okay. did you come to this conclusion after deciding you don't need your friends? or realizing that you're the god of everything & therefore such menial things don't matter? did bezel coach you more than we see through the shorts? i don't remember there being an episode dedicated to chikn's sudden snap of character, thus we just never find out where that leap in logic came from.

so the world's ending but fwench fwy & iscream manage to trap chikn for 5 seconds. chee intervenes & tries to get through to him, despite all his bullshit ramblings of " go away i'm a god this is my destiny, " this WORKS. chee pulls him from his divine spiral & all's fine now.

except chikn, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE MIND YOU - NOT IN PRIVATE, blames cheezborger for it. he's like " you ditched me & that wasn't very nice, you need to make time for all your friends "

LIKE OH OKAY. BUZZFEED YOU JUST KILLED THE VIBE.

cheezborger's excitement for her new girlfriend might have been the tipping point & the technical catalyst of this all, but not at any fault of her own. she did not do this maliciously or purposefully & i hate the way chikn says she " ditched " him. no she did not you horrible mutt she politely declined your offers to hang out because she was busy with her girlfriend, & YES IT CAN BE UPSETTING WHEN YOUR FRIEND CAN'T HANG WITH YOU BECAUSE THEY GET CAUGHT UP IN SOMETHING THEY LIKE, BUT SHE DID NOT DITCH OR ABANDON YOU SHE JUST GOT BUSYYYY

it's circumstances. chee didn't do anything " wrong ", things just happened & chikn couldn't take being apart from his friend or not having what all his other friends had & downspiralled + got manipulated by bezel.

chee gets called out in PUBLIC for " ditching " chikn when she really didn't & this is turned into a big lesson about " managing all your friends " ( kiss my ass buzzfeed your usual social lessons aren't going to fly with this one ), in essence blaming chee for the apocalypse despite the initial start of the arc having gone unaddressed since the beginning.

OH & GET THIS, we blame chee for being excited but bezel, THE ONE PUSHING FOR TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD & ACTIVELY MANIPULATING CHIKN TO DO IT, gets a literal slap on the wrist chikn nor anybody else calls him out for being a gigantic prick, he's just like " i fowgive u let's be fwiends " & we leave it at that apparently. are you fucking for real. that straight up smells misogynistic & straight up shitty regardless. this COMING from the stupid little youtube shorts series all about validating everyone & equality & being kind to people too just feels a PARTICULAR kind of rancid.

& yeah whatever it's a rinkydink silly buzzfeed show where every character is named some woobified or joke rendition of a food product ( chikn nuggit, cheezborger, fwench fwy - so on ), BUT I FEEL LIKE THEY WERE DOING A VALUABLE SERVICE & DOING PRETTY GOOD FOR BEING A RINKYDINK SILLY YOUTUBE SHORTS SERIES !!!!! they had such good intentions & good lessons in mind...

& then this happens. it just puts SUCH a bad taste in my mouth now, you know? & it's honest to god so disappointing! & INFURIATING

that ending was a total BUST & relaying it back now, THE PLOT OF THAT ARC IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. it can't at all decide what the point of itself was & ended SO poorly. i'll forgive the pacing because this is a youtube shorts series MEANT to be done relatively quickly & chikn nuggit isn't necessarily a show you're going to expect a masterpiece of, right. it's endearingly imperfect

but god that ending. this entire arc. fuck it all man fuck that dog

oh wow i wrote down a lot but YEAH. VERY UPSETTING. hopefully this was an entertaining read or i just look insane to my friends

THANK YOU FOR ASKING! been LOOKING for an excuse to be upset on main

[yrlocalghost]

chara being The Favourite is so frustrating because in this silly little haha game with so many goofy, endearing characters 15 year old me decided that the favourite should be God’s Most Suicidal Baby who's entire story exists near entirely as subtext and surroundings

[lumi077]

X-Men HCs

A/N: my hyperfixations are not very hyperfixating rn. literally they’re changing so fast. But take some nice little relationship headcanons, and the next Chapter of Winters’ Servants is coming soon!!

Characters included: Logan (Wolverine), Scott (Cyclops), Kurt (NightCrawler), Jean

Warnings: potential OOC, nothing else really. kept it nice and light.

Logan (Wolverine):

Logan would absolutely, if you use them, stretch out your new hairbands for you. If you express that you dislike using them unless stretched, he’ll offer to wear them on his wrists for a day or two till they’re stretched to your liking. It could be the most girly hair ties and he’ll proudly wear three on each wrist. When asked, he’ll happily tell them “Just stretchin ‘em for my woman/man/partner”

Scary dog privileges? Scary dog privileges. He adores making you feel safe enough to wear the most skin revealing or feminine clothing. You want to wear something revealing/very feminine but tell him you're scared? He’ll instantly assure you and tell you to wear anything you want. If someone says something, he won’t hesitate to shut them up before you even hear.

There’s going to be a point in your relationship that you’ll realize he absolutely doesn’t care about any of the gross stuff you do. Burp, Fart, don’t shave? He really doesn’t care in the least bit. Definitely the boyfriend that will go, unphased, into the bathroom while you're on the toilet and brush his teeth or shower without a care in the world. If you are comfortable that is, and he secretly preens when he realizes that you're comfy enough to do that stuff around him lol.

I wholeheartedly believe that when he realizes he wants you to be his forever partner, he’ll gift you his dog tags. His past is very personal to him, because he could never remember it for a good part of it. His dog tags are only second to him getting down on one knee. 

Speaking of getting down on one knee, sorry for all the people who want it to be a surprise, but he won’t make a big deal and will tell you about his plans beforehand. No surprise engagement, and no public one. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he wants to make sure you’re ready and want it too. He doesn’t put much on marriage because it doesn’t change much, and doesn't want you to feel pressured to say yes because there are people there. He’ll love you the same married or not, but he does note how pretty you look with the ring he bought you on your finger.

I personally believe he would be more likely to get in a committed relationship with another mutant. I just think a lot of the X-Men would want to be able to relate to their partner and have their partner relate to them, and Logan is going to live a long life so…I can't truly see him with a normal person. 

If you are apart of the X-Men, while he won’t baby you or anything, he finds himself keeping an eye on you the most. There have been a fair amount of times that you find yourself having a Logan shield on the field, and even more often if you are susceptible to projectiles. 

Dates are a norm at this point, Fridays are always the day he takes you out. It’s usually the same place, but he thinks it’s nice. 

Flowers are also a norm, if you mention you like them. 

He doesn’t do much on Valentine’s day because he already does all the normal valentine’s day stuff it weekly or bi-weekly. Does get cheat food so you guys can eat it and watch stupid rom com movies though. 

Scott (Cyclops):

First and Foremost Scott is such a golden retriever. Anything you want, he obtains quickly and with 0 thoughts of you getting him something in return. He just wants to see his partner happy and healthy, with a smile on their face as often as possible.

He is very big on PDA, likes to hold your hand, or slip an arm around your waist, put his hand in the back pocket of your jeans, etc. Overall he just likes touching you, and just because you're in public doesn’t mean anything.

Adding on to his liking of PDA, I feel like he’s possessive. Like in the one X-Men movie, when Logan goes into the past and stops bad shit from happening and goes to touch Jean and he blocks him? Yeah he does that with you but with everyone. He likes people knowing your his and what’s better than you two being attached at the hip in public?

He likes when you wear his things as well, not so much for people knowing you’re his like mentioned above but just because you're adorable in it. Want his sweatshirt? He’s giving it to you even though it's negative 5 out. His cologne? Just take the whole bottle, even though it’s brand new. He’ll get another one!!

When he’s on missions and away, he gives you so many shirts and even a pair of sweats. Sprays the stuffed animals he got you with his cologne, same with your pillows. He will expect the same if it’s you going away for a long time. Or you’ll come back to him sleeping on your side of the bed where it smells the most like you, his face stuffed in one of your pillows that has one of your shirts on it. 

He is very vocal about being your boyfriend, and you being his partner. Everyone in the world knows, yet no one asked. He’ll gush about you to whoever will listen, the rest of the team is so done but they do admit his devotion to you is adorable.

All the ladies and gents and nonbinary pals who want an over the top surprise proposal, this is your man. It’s super romantic, he pays for your nails if you wear them, getting your hair done, and a new outfit. And you can’t even tell it’s because he wants to propose because he does this all the time. Then he takes you to your fav restaurant and pops the question.

Make no mistake though, he has to be 100% sure that you want him to propose to do so. He’s so attuned to you and your likings he gets your dream ring without having to ask everyone close to you first. Which also assures him no one can spoil the surprise.

He is one of the few ones who probably doesn’t care if you're a mutant or not, because his love is 100% blind. He would probably want a mutant partner, but once he falls he falls hard.

He also won’t baby you if you’re in the X-Men, but if he happens to laser them first? Not his fault.

Kurt (NightCrawler):

He is a very shy partner at first. But once he falls for you, and you make it obvious you have fallen for him it all goes out the window. He is a completely different person around you, confident and flirty. He is just so in love. 

Teases you almost constantly, he’s a teaser with everyone but he loves to see you blush and squirm from his words. 

Loves if you run your fingers through his fur, and almost emits a low purr when you do. If you brush it for him, especially if he doesn’t ask you but you WANT to, he swears he is going to marry you one day. 

He takes you places you told him you wanted to go to when you guys were in the talking stage. Paris? Done, let’s get some baguettes for back home! The Bahamas? Pack a bathing suit, and make sure to bring the detangling brush.

He loves non sexual acts of intimacy, like taking baths together!! Your fingers feel like heaven on his scalp when you massage the shampoo and conditioner in his hair. He also loves touching your body, he’s always careful with the fact he has claws but he would never dream of hurting you.

Big on cuddling and all that stuff in private, but I feel like he would want to keep it behind closed doors. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands on you otherwise. 

Long missions with him are never a problem, he’ll just teleport to you wherever you may be and spend time with you before heading back. 

He’s your call bird, and the gossip you two are able to share with one another? It is divine. He seems to know everything, and you know the most obvious stuff but he always makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes when you tell him things he already heard and was going to tell you about. Which is why he always makes you spill the tea first lol.

For marriage and proposing, I can see him accidentally proposing on a mission. Tensions are high, and he’s worried that one of you won’t make it home to the other. The thought alone makes him dread the upcoming battle, but he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes and states with all the conviction in the world “We’ll get married after this.”

You brush it off, after you both survive the battle, that he didn’t mean it. He just wanted you to know how much he loved you. But oh how wrong you are when you walk into a room with all your close friends and family, Kurt in the middle down on one knee and asking you to marry him. Your face was priceless, and lucky for him everyone took pictures. 

He definitely carries around a photo with you wherever he goes, and when he prays he takes it out and not only asks that God protect him, but you as well because there is no life beyond you. Even if you’re not religious he’ll still do it, just for the peace of mind. 

Jean:

She’s the black cat of the relationship for sure. I mean, she has a lot of issues but she always makes you her first priority. 

She keeps tabs on you constantly. What’s your mood, why? She’ll talk to you in your mind when you’re anxious to calm you, and let you know that she’s there with you. She’s probably an anxious persons’ best friend. You don’t even have to talk, she knows what you mean and changes accordingly. 

She is big on communication for sure. If you do something that bothers or hurts her feelings she will sit you down and talk to you about it. And she has this certain way of doing that doesn’t make you feel guilty. She’s just letting you know what she does and doesn’t like and won’t tell anyone else. These things are very private to her. And she expects you to do the same, and her feelings are never hurt by it. 

Jean’s type of love is selfless. She would put herself in danger tenfold just to keep you safe. Mutant or not, she would be the one to baby you if you’re a part of the X-Men as well. There’s always a kind of bubble around you, that not many but you notice. Hence, people think you’re indestructible because you’re the only one who came back uninjured for the fourth time. 

She wants to be independent, but also loves when you do stuff for her. She will never ask, but her heart warms so much when she sees you did something for her because you wanted too and not because she asked. 

She plans your dream proposal. She is almost a roommate in your own mind, she knows what you like and don’t like. 

Small extra blurb: imagine giving telepathic hints that you want a proposal. She thinks “Why are they broadcasting their ring si-ooooh. I see.”

She is so gentle with you, almost afraid that you’ll break and it’ll be all her fault. The way her hands gently caress you or how she holds your hand is so incredibly gentle.

[queenshelby]

AMERICAN GIRL (PART THREE)

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace's Stepdaughter!Reader

Warning: Grace is a bully, infidelity, taboo

The following day, Tommy had, indeed , arranged for a tutor to come to the mansion and work with Emma and, much to the dislike of Grace, he had offered you a position in one of his many legitimate establishments where, unbeknownst to you, he could keep an eye on you.

Usurpingly, he did not trust you yet, seeing how Grace had betrayed your father by sleeping with him. As such he believed that you were nothing but a wildcard, a force that could not be calculated, and therefore potentially presented a threat to him and his livelihood. 

And yet, despite himself, Tommy found himself intrigued by you nonetheless. There was an allure about you that could not be ignored and, moreover, there was a quiet strength in your eyes, a fiery spirit that he found incredibly attractive.

The work that you had been assigned to do under supervision was simple enough - organizing and cataloguing items in one of his stores down in Birmingham - but the time you spent there was never mundane.

One of the women who worked there with you for the time being was no other than Ada Shelby herself, Tommy's sister who was clearly there to spy on you until you could be trusted. Yet, despite the hidden animosity between you two, you quickly became friends.

Ada was a woman of few words but much wit, a firecracker hiding beneath a quiet, steely demeanor. Her dark eyes held a thousand stories, most of which she would never openly share with anyone and you respected her for that.

Ada had a child of her own, but no man by her side to help her raise her young son Karl. Her husband Freddy had passed on several years ago and a tragic loss like this was something you both shared in your lives. 

Just like she looked after her son, you were looking after your sister and  , therefore the two of you found a strong bond between yourselves.

Unlike Ada, you were not shy about sharing stories from your life with her, although they weren't many and, in turn, she spoke about her brother Tommy, about whom you happened to have many questions, none of which she refused to answer.

You wanted to know what kind of man he was and when Ada told you that he did bad things to a good end, you couldn't help but feel intrigued by his many motives. It was during those long hours at work that Ada shared the story of Thomas Shelby and his family, painting a vivid picture of his past that you couldn't help but find utterly captivating.

You learned that Tommy had been in France, and, in spite of his achievements, he threw his medals in the Cut. He was a tunneller during the Great War and, when he came back home, he had seen too much to be able to return to the man he was before.

The war had changed him fundamentally, and this did not surprise you. It had changed your father too, and you remembered, as a little girl, witnessing the way the man you loved dearly had returned from the trenches of Europe battered and emotionally destroyed. 

Ada told you how her brother had started Shelby Company Ltd. with his brothers, how they had built it together and turned it into a formidable force that controlled large portions of the city's trade without giving away the family secrets. Tommy was at the helm of all this, and you could understand why Ada once said that she saw both heaven and hell in his eyes.

He was capable of immense cruelty and merciless violence, but the kind heart he reserved for those closest to him remained hidden behind the tough and unyielding exterior.

You worked at the shop three days a week and, at least once every day, Tommy would come by to check on you before, occasionally, visiting a woman by the name of Lizzie Stark at her nearby lodging. 

You followed them once and found out that Lizzie Stark was a prostitute who worked for Tommy. She was, as far as you could gather, rather smitten by him. It was obvious to you that her and Tommy regularly engaged in intimate relations with each other but, even so, there was something distant in the way he looked at her, as though he was always preoccupied by thoughts far beyond his current reach.

Lizzie didn't seem to notice this while, yet she considered you as her biggest thread and, in spite of your better judgment, you found the thought amusing more than anything else. After all, it should have been Grace who she was jealous of, not you but then again, perhaps she knew as well as you did that Tommy didn't love either of them. As he had told you himself, he didn't have the capacity for love, or so it seemed. 

The first time you saw Tommy with Lizzie however, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of something akin to disappointment. But you weren't disappointed about the fact that he was unfaithful to Grace, but rather , you were disappointed in the way your own heart reacted when you saw them together.

Eventually, four weeks had passed since you started working at the shop, and you've had ample opportunity to observe Tommy's interactions with Lizzie and others. She wasn't the only one he had been seeing and, for some reason, even despite his misgivings, that strange fascination you felt towards him kept growing, albeit slowly.

You couldn't put your finger on what it was that made him so magnetic. His brooding nature and hardened exterior were part of it, but there was more to it than that.

He was a man of many contradictions, and that intrigued you.

That same night, just like many others, you passed him inside the corridors of the large house you were now living in, giving him a knowing glance as if to say 'I know what you did today' without uttering a single word. And he always returned the look with an exasperating half-smile that both maddened and thrilled you. He knew that you knew about his infidelity and, yet he did not seem to care. 

You didn't hate Thomas Shelby or any of the members of his family, but you despised Grace with every fiber of your being.

The day your father died, your whole world had crumbled before your very eyes, leaving you and Emma at the mercy of a woman who couldn't bear the sight of you. She made no secret of this hatred and had been eagerly waiting for your father's fortune to be handed down to her hands.

As such, you really wanted to tell her about her partner's unfaithfulness. You wanted to rub it in and let her know that he was doing to her what she had done to your father all long. But yet, something stopped you.

Some unspoken code of honor, perhaps, or maybe just the small sliver of compassion that still lingered within your wounded heart. You pitied Grace and feared her in equal measure, and you couldn't bring yourself to interfere and risk your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of your little sister Emma who, only in the past week, had started sleeping in her own room. 

Besides, Thomas Shelby was not your concern. He was a grown man who made his own choices, and it was not your place to pass judgment on him. But somehow, you found yourself doing it anyway.

Occasionally, Tommy kept you company when neither of you could sleep and it were those nightly interactions that slowly, almost unknowingly, began to brew a forbidden chemistry between you and him.

Leaning against the banisters, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief as he puffed on his cigarette, you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter when he asked you about your day.

His gaze followed your every action, lingering on the gentle curve of your waist or the crook of your neck as you spoke. It was that same raw intensity that made your skin tingle and your breath hitch - a silent conversation of want and need.

You would meet by chance most nights, either in the library or outside, by the stables, after Grace had gone to bed and whilst your interactions were innocent enough, your conversations were deep and meaningful.  You found Tommy to be intelligent and well-educated, with a passion for literature and fine art, topics that you would discuss at length, fuelled by the desire to learn more about him - and yourself.

Occasionally, you would catch him outside the lavatory in the staff quarters, listening intently as you sang while having a bath or shower. This was something that had always irritated Grace, hearing you sing, but Tommy seemed to enjoy it - or, at least, he never let on if he didn't.

One late night, as you were making use of the large piano near the library,  Tommy entered the room. You hadn't heard him come in, but you felt his gaze on you, watching intently as your fingers danced across the keys.

You paused for a moment, turning to face him before continuing your musical journey with another melody.

"You have a quite a talent for music,"  Tommy commented, his gaze cast downward to the floor.

Tommy leaned against one of the tall, mahogany shelves that lined the room. The soft amber glow from the fireplace illuminated one side of his face, granting him a certain warmth in his usually stoic features.

"I learned from my mother," you stated simply, continuing to play. Your gaze remained focused on the falling notes you were creating on the piano, not daring to turn your head and meet his gaze.

But, oh, how you wanted to! His presence made you feel all kinds of things, some you'd never experienced before, like unsettling excitement and an irrepressible craving for that forbidden fruit.

"I sometimes come to the staffing quarters just to hear you sing in the shower," he  murmured, his eyes locked on yours as he confessed.

You felt your cheeks heat up, your pulse quickened as you continued to playing the piano, the melody now more dramatic. You couldn't believe what you were hearing; he must have been joking, being so direct but if this was the game he wanted to play, then you would oblige.

"I have noticed, and so have the maids. You should be more cautious," you teased, a soft chuckle escaping your lips as the corners of your eyes crinkled with amusement.

Tommy pushed off the shelf, moving closer to you, the space between you shortening rapidly. He leaned on the piano now  , effectively entrapping you between him and the instrument. You could feel the warmth emanating from his body, and it made your heart race.

"Perhaps I wanted you to notice," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze bore into yours, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"And perhaps I wanted you to listen,"  you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

The tension in the room grew thicker, filling the air with a palpable energy that neither of you seemed capable of breaking. The only sound in the room was the gentle strumming of the piano keys beneath your fingertips.

Tommy leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel his chest rise and fall with each shallow breath he took, his eyes never leaving yours as he leaned over you and turned the page on the book in front of you.  You were acutely aware of the proximity between you, the way his body seemed to align perfectly with yours as if you were two halves of a whole. The thought sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a spark that threatened to consume you whole.

"Can you play this?"  Thomas asked, his voice barely above a whisper as he pointed to the new sheet music. His proximity still had your heart pounding, the wild beat echoing in your ears.

"Yes, of course I can. I can play anything," you winked  playfully before turning your attention back to the music sheet, your fingers dancing gracefully over the keys. You felt Tommy's gaze on you as you played, his presence making your heart race.

You continued to play, the melody filling the library with its enchanting sound. You could feel the weight of Tommy's gaze on you, and it sparked a fire within you that you couldn't ignore. Your fingers moved faster over the keys, your body swaying gently to the rhythm of the music.

Tommy watched you in awe, your talent and beauty captivating him completely until, suddenly, the door swung open .

Grace swept into the room, her eyes narrowing at the sight of Tommy standing so close to you, his hands hovering near yours.

"What is going on here?" she demanded, her voice tight with anger as Tommy stepped away from you.

"I am listening to Y/N play the piano," Tommy replied smoothly, his eyes never leaving yours for a moment. 

Grace's gaze flicked from you to Tommy and back again, her jaw tightening as she clearly struggled to maintain her composure. "I can see that, but I wonder why? Why are you listen to her play the piano at this hour?" she  pressed, her voice dripping with suspicion.

Tom's eyes remained locked onto yours, a silent message passing between you, a promise of something unspoken that only the two of you could understand.

"Because she plays beautifully, Grace. And, as usual, I can't fucking sleep, eh" Tommy replied, his nonchalant tone grating on Grace's nerves. She stared daggers at him, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"Well, wrap it up, because I cannot sleep either because of it," Grace said, her voice tight with anger, causing Tommy to look at her with a mix of irritation and mild amusement before standing up.

"I will see you tomorrow, Y/N. Have a good night," he told you, ignoring Grace's outburst and leaving you in a state of confusion and frustration.

You watched him leave, his presence leaving an ache in your core that took you by surprise while Grace told you to be quite and to go to bed. You didn't object, you knew better.

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[anakirui]

so i had this crazy idea (theory time?)

i'm pretty sure this person is actually just straight up xander. which has various implications that i will elaborate on below the cut

here's why this person could be xander

first off, the bloody fork in the background reminds me of xander's eye wound, which i have provided a photo of here;

the claw marks made to gouge his eye out look like they could be done by a fork, if enough force was used by the assailant. the wound also seems fresh, and xander doesn't remember where it came from.

second off, the fact that the mystery character talks about a person using she/her pronouns attacking them. i believe this person is teruko, based off the fact that they're the only character the mystery character namedrops, especially since teruko uses she/her and this character was very recently attacked (as in, them holding a grudge for their injury would make sense).

these ideas are also supported by this scene, also at the very beginning of the prologue;

xander's wound reopened when teruko bumped into him, showing how recent the injury must be, as well as potentially foreshadowing the fact that she is (most likely) his assailant.

and also, this person has the same convictions that xander shows prior to his death; to end the killing game (and later, to kill teruko).

so... what about the note? who gave xander the note telling him to kill teruko, and if he is the prologue character, why would he even need a note telling him to kill teruko?

as of right now, i believe that xander actually wrote the note. at least, whatever xander from the circumstances of the prologue did. xander, as we know him normally, has the same memory loss as all the other students, so it's possible a note would have to be written for him so that he would remember to carry this out.

i think the answer as to how xander wrote this note for himself at a different time than the present is related to the nature of drdt's killing game; in other words, i don't have any concrete evidence, unless if anyone wants to hear my speculation on how this killing game might work.

however, we must also address the elephant in the room;

this line.

this line suggests that someone else has told xander to kill teruko, which i think is why we've all been focusing on who could've convinced xander to kill her.

the trick to this question is that i don't think that's how it's supposed to be answered; it's unlikely anyone else besides xander could, except for maybe the mastermind (which creates more questions than answers)

after all, xander hasn't known anyone there for more than 3 days, except for david (parasocially), so i sincerely doubt anyone in the killing game cast could convince xander to kill teruko (based off what we know so far).

and contrary to popular opinion, i don't think david wrote the note. in my opinion, this contradicts david's characterization, especially in the recently released ch2 ep12. this whole time, he's been justifying and excusing xander's actions (something he's done since the chapter 1 trial), wholeheartedly believing that xander must have had a "good reason" all because david was a fan of him prior to them meeting. i also think xander's ideals are too strong for him to instantly believe a note that david wrote, and he'd most likely become disillusioned with david and begin to dislike him; most likely believing in the rumors he's heard about him prior as well.

but... if xander himself wrote the note, and if xander knew it had to be himself who wrote it based off whatever information was in the rest of that note; then he'd be compelled to follow through with his own judgment, regardless of his own doubts. this is why when he starts talking to himself after stabbing teruko, he's asking why "you" (himself) asked him to kill teruko. it's self-directed to someone who has to be him but that he can't fully understand because of his lost memories, hence why xander almost seems to separate himself from the situation.

idk how well this will hold up in the future but yeaahhh

[brittle-doughie]

Top 10 most obsessive/possessive Cookies in your opinion, go! (excluding White Lily because she would be at the top lmao)

Bro, you did WL dirty lmao.

10. The Tears of the Ocean - Sea Fairy Cookie

While not as easy to aggravate compared to the other Y/N Cookie club members, Sea Fairy is still a legendary and can easily sweep away competition if she chooses to. Fire Spirit is the only cookie she’ll be quick to get aggressive with.

9. Loyal Until the End - Caramel Arrow Cookie

Being a watcher meant Caramel Arrow couldn’t bring herself to harm others so easily, she’s instead incredibly protective of you and WILL draw her bow at threats. Laying a hand on you is a sure fire way to catch a arrow from her. Affogato Cookie is on-sight.

8. Protective Judgement - Dark Cacao Cookie

Like Watcher, like king. Dark Cacao will always have you by his side, he insists. There was something about you that he held dear, something that he needed to protect. He won’t tolerate any mistreatment from you, it’s a quick punishment for the perpetrator. You have your own spot in his quarters, it was a more preferable option to him then having your own room.

7. The Persistent Priestess - Pomegranate Cookie

Pomegranate Cookie’s secondary objective is you, to bring you into the darkness. Your soul was nothing she’s seen before, it was pure, it…was precious. She’ll curse any cookie that gets in her way of having you on the same side, she’ll take anything from you that she can get, with or without your knowledge.

6. The Dancing Danger - Lilac Cookie

Do not be surprised if the cookies you know start falling ill, it may be a sign that Lilac Cookie is watching. He’ll always say it’s for your protection, you never know when these cookies might turn on you, he’s just dealing with a problem before it becomes one. He’s only making them sick, it’s not like he’s straight up crumbling them….yet.

5. The Alluring Beauty - Kumiho Cookie

Normal: Not really being affected by her charms made you a breath of fresh air to Kumiho Cookie, she took a major interest in you with this fact and will try whatever she can to get your attention. Just don’t mind the cookies around you missing their cookie livers, it just meant they were getting too close to you. :)

Heartbreak Route: Kumiho is much more persistent, she had never felt true love until you had been honest with her that day. It aches her heart to know that she passed on your feelings, believing it was because of her charms. She’s more volatile like this, taking any interaction you have with others as potential threats to her goal. Has particular dislike for Blueberry Pie Cookie.

4. Your Best Pal - Croissant Cookie

She has stuck by your side since your first day at the TBD. Croissant Cookie was so happy to see you earn your honors as a handycookie, it meant that you two could spend time together as you fixed things alongside her engineering prowess. It…really blinded her to the fact that other cookies like Coffee Candy or Baguette Cookie had taken a liking to you too, something that she aims to fix by being your best and ONLY pal. Keeps you away from Timekeeper Cookie for obvious reasons.

3. His Only - Fire Spirit Cookie

Fire Spirit Cookie has butted heads with Wind Archer and Sea Fairy Cookie when it comes to you, he needed you more then they did. Fire Spirit..isn’t exactly that popular with other cookies, so having you as a friend was a godsend to him, that a cookie like you would want to associate with him. It’s something he treasures deeply, but tries to pass it off as him going easy on you. Wind Archer and Sea Fairy Cookie can try all they want, but he’ll be extinguished before he’ll allow you to be pried from him.

2. Stinging Shock - Scorpion Cookie

Lilac Cookie at least doesn’t end cookies right away and gives them a chance to regret their decision to be close to you, Scorpion Cookie…won’t be giving them that luxury. If she deems a cookie too much of a hassle, she’ll just remove them from the equation. By the time the cookie has realized what hit them, it will all be too late as she watches them crumble away…she dabbles in poisons, not cures after all. So cookies can have fun finding that cure, if there is any to begin with…

1. Baroness of the Sea - Black Pearl Cookie

Normal Route: Why would Black Pearl Cookie want to sink a cookie so…precious looking? Normally, she’d have you at the bottom of the sea by now, but…she couldn’t bring herself to do this to you…what was this about you that has her feeling like this?! This confusion only makes her frustrated, so she’s keeping you with her until she can pinpoint this feeling. She hopes you enjoy your new home in the depths with her…

Heartbreak Route: “You hastily closed the door before locking it, you knew it would do little to protect you from her, but you needed all the security you could get. You avoided the window, there was no telling if you looked out that window, that two glowing eyes would be staring right back at you in the waters. You could hear the faint sound of crying in the distance, the waters were unhappy, she was unhappy. She knew you were here, it was why she hadn’t just annihilated the Lower City already. She was just waiting for the right opportunity to drag you into the darkness of the water’s depths with her…”

At least Black Pearl Cookie is limited by the water, if she wasn’t, she’d be a true cookie to fear for the readers

But since it wouldn’t complete the ensemble today, there’s at least one cookie that will stop at nothing, absolutely nothing, to make sure you’re hers.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

You saw it coming

0. The Undying Flower - White Lily Cookie

I had to do it to ya, I’m sorry Anon

Escape Difficulty: Impossible

You sealed your fate after spending time with White Lily Cookie regardless of AU, she’s your biggest cheerleader and unofficial girlfriend who’s quick to poison rivals at the mere chance of them getting friendly with you. She’s near impossible to lose and tends to just appear somewhere close by whether you’re on your own or with other cookies.

She’s an ancient cookie for a reason, few cookies will survive a fight against her, so it’s for the best that your so called “friends” back off from you before she taints their very strawberry jam.

Her only limitation is her other ancient friends, but they’re on thin ice before her paranoia gets to her and she joins in on the conversation. She has earned the title of Y/N Cookie cult leader for a reason.

[antianakin]

i saw that you put finnrey as your “most potential” ship and i was just wondering what makes you see them as more romantic over a platonic relationship? especially considering the finnpoe presence lol

and to be clear, definitely not judging you or saying everyone has to prefer finnpoe, i just haven’t seen very many people talk about finnrey as a romantic pair, or at least i haven’t interacted with it, so i’m curious for your take :)

I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: I do not dislike Finnpoe at all, I actually quite enjoy Finnpoe as a ship, I think that Finn and Poe's dynamic in the movies is (mostly) enjoyable, and I do think there is an obvious foundation for the interpretation of them as romantic based on what we see in the films.

Finnrey are pretty obviously set up as a future romantic couple in TFA, to the point that the person who wrote the novelization has said that that is how he wrote them because it seemed REALLY REALLY OBVIOUS that that's where they were going with that relationship with what he had seen of it and he was pretty surprised when future films didn't follow up on that. There is arguably more explicit set-up for Finnrey in the first film of their trilogy than there was for Han/Leia (and also Luke/Leia since their sibling relationship wasn't established yet when ANH came out) and even for Anidala in their respective first films together.

It's Rey that Finn goes back for, fulfilling a place in her life that she's been waiting on for literal years, becoming the first person Rey feels like she can trust. Finn gets jealous when he thinks that Rey is going back to a boyfriend on Jakku. There's an entire running gag that is about the two of them holding hands, something usually pretty connected to romantic couples. Finn only joins the Rebellion because he cares enough about Rey to want to go back to save her (and he also answers his call of destiny by doing so, as visualized by him being given and then using Anakin's lightsaber as part of that decision). Rey answers her own call to destiny when she calls Anakin's lightsaber to her, something she only does in order to save Finn after Kylo has injured him. The two of them impact each other's storylines in a way that NO ONE ELSE DOES.

I also personally feel like Finn and Rey were originally built as CO-LEADS in TFA, neither one was supposed to be "the main character" over the other. They were BOTH intended to be Force sensitive, BOTH intended to become Jedi, BOTH intended to be the awakening in the Force. Their connection was the whole heart of the story in TFA. Allowing them to be love interests for each other just helps cement that. Finnrey being allowed to remain love interests throughout the Sequel trilogy could've helped keep Finn from being sidelined, it could've helped keep REY from being sidelined, it could've allowed Kylo Ren to remain a villain, it could've helped keep some of the more interesting themes of TFA from being completely and utterly dropped.

By comparison, Poe was supposed to die in TFA. He and Finn share maybe 2-3 scenes total with each other, which are split up between the very beginning and the end of the second act of the film, leaving a LOT of time in-between where neither we as the audience nor Finn in universe even SEE Poe (and he mostly disappears when the third act on Starkiller Base starts up, too). Giving Finn a love interest that isn't Rey also opens the door for him to be sidelined in favor of Rey. This is something we can actually see done intentionally in TLJ with Finn and Rose. It pulls focus from what was set up as the focal point and heart of the narrative in TFA (Finn and Rey's relationship) and provides an excuse for why Finn isn't taking part in the bigger storylines with Rey.

And last but not least, I don't personally believe that there was ever a snowball's chance in hell that Finn and Poe were ever going to become an canon couple in a Disney Star Wars movie (it wouldn't have happened in a Lucas-run Sequel Trilogy either, but that's not really the point here). Finnrey could've. You can even argue that it SHOULD'VE happened and that it WOULD'VE happened (if Rian Johnson hadn't come in and decided to ignore everything that was set up in TFA). And Finnrey theoretically still HAS a shot at being made canon. It seems a LOT more likely that if they continue to explore the characters in the future that we'll see Finn and Rey get together romantically than that we would see Finn and Poe get together romantically.

So while I like Finn and Poe, I don't feel like there was real potential that actually got squandered in the films when they didn't happen, whereas there was ACRES of potential for Finn and Rey that got completely thrown away, and doing so really hurt both of their characters and the trilogy as a whole.

[gegengestalt]

Thinking about Mitya and Ivan

I think a lot about the unexplored dynamic of Mitya and Ivan. There is so much potential there, yet we only have the pieces.

Imagine being Ivan and meeting your half brother for the first time. You didn't know he existed until recently, he's practically a stranger. His manners are rough, he drinks, he makes scenes, he's debauched, just like your father, who made your mother suffer. He throws around money when you have to work to sustain yourself. It saddens me, but I can understand why Ivan dislikes Mitya so much.

But Mitya is no buffoon: he holds respect for Ivan and sees him as superior to him, even if part of it comes from his own self- pity. He's not the brightest, but he appreciates education and smarts when he sees them and wants to know what's on Ivan's mind.

Mitya is most likely eager to make a connection, but the obstacle is exactly the source of the personal pain in both of them and the only thing they had in common from the beginning, their father. Ivan pushes away those he cares about, but he can't escape Mitya, who will keep seeking attention from people and taking them for granted even when he knows they don't like him. And Ivan is too proud to not put up with it. This dynamic is a goldmine.

Ivan's relationship to both Pavel and Mitya is the answer to why although his idea has not been refuted, him as a person with prejudices had his downfall. In Mitya is the bestial man who was once one of those weeping children.

Mitya, a body aware of the mind, and Ivan, a mind aware of the body, as some critics say. Mitya, who would love God from the depths of Hell, and Ivan, who returns the ticket even in the face of salvation.

Perhaps they do have more in common than they think. I believe readings of Ivan as the rational one are very reductive, when his rejection of harmony is a question of his feelings towards the suffering of the innocent. His passions are bubbling under the surface. Both grapple with the tension between their pathos in front of reality and their unexplainable love for life, they have questions about sin and salvation expressed in different ways. Ivan presents the idea that if there is no God, everything is permitted, and Dmitri echoes it as a question that receives no answer. Even when Ivan became a representation of the intelligentsia and "Westernised" himself, he knows the eternal questions still plague his mind. Mitya barely thinks about God, loving God seems natural in him, and Ivan may think about God more than anyone else.

Despite their not- so- perfect relationship, it was Ivan who in the end dragged himself to court and claimed to be the guilty one, it was Ivan who came up with an absurd plan to free Mitya, and doing so he showed that he cared more than any of Mitya's relatives, who did absolutely nothing to help him (except for Alyosha, who could at least offer emotional support). It's almost poetic: the culmination of a relationship that was damaged from the start, as "Free the monster!"

Note: Their relationship to Katerina is also an essential piece to their dynamic, something that takes even more to explore and that I hope to see more clearly in future chapters of my fic, as well as the Ivan- Mitya dynamic I talked about here.

For now this is all I'll say about them.

[nalyra-dreaming]

About DM, having read som theories and speculations of yours and others I would love to add some of my thoughts and hear what you and @virginiaisforvampires and @cbrownjc thinks - if you are interested :)

1. Armand clearly reacted to Louis offering Daniel the Dark Gift, and reacted even more strongly to Daniel basically saying “No, thanks”. On the surface it seems in the latter instance that he was just offended by Daniel’s verbal barb, but I’m sure this is actually clever obfuscation by the writer/director/actor, no?

2. Given 1) and the foreknowledge of DM, Daniel responding ”A cure for Parkinson’s” when Armand (as Rashid) asked if Danial has everything he needs could be an unfired Chekhov’s gun…?

3. What really is/will become Armand’s endgame? I actually believe that it is as it seems, that Louis is the driving force behind this second interview. And that Armand actually be still be somewhat angry/resentful following the (presumed) breakup of DM. I think you speculated that Daniel might have wanted to leave to live a life since Armand refused to make him a vampire? While Armand might have wanted to spend the rest od Daniel’s mortal life with him? This would explain the charade, it being a way for Armand to either try to stop Daniel’s memories from resurfacing (per his request?) as well as Armand’s attitude in season one (as he seems annoyed with Daniel at times). Daniel’s terminal illness might be changing Armand’s mind however (á la DM), as previously suggested. Honestly? A part of me want to see some sort of fucked up Dracula situation, where it becomes clear gradually in a terrifying manner to Daniel that he is trapped by this ‘monster’ who claims to know him better than he knows himself/knows what’s best for him. The latter seemingly being a version of the dynamic playing out between Armand and Louis currently.

4. How will Daniel feel about Armand following season two? I think Daniel’s view of life and of the vampires has been shown to be quite different than to back in the 70s. His view of Armand must surely also be influenced by hearing of Louis’ bloody history of him? As he will presumably get to know Armand chiefly from Louis’ story and be quite critical of him - even viewing him as quite sinister as he realizes and gets Louis to realize the part Armand has played in tampering with their memories and Claudia’s death. Of course Armand is participating in the interview so his perspective will also come to light, and Daniel seems according to the trailers at one point be talking to Armand one-on-one. So he’s open to listening. I believe that Daniel’s view of Armand will be quite negative - even following the return of his memories, at least initially. That putting these memories and feelings together with his current view of life and view of Armand will be anything but simple. I would guess at this point that the romantic nature of their relationship is something that will be revealed very late - maybe even be a cliffhanger for the next season (together with other stuff).

5. A more nuanced view of Armand. However it wouldn’t completely surprise me if Louis, and possibly Daniel, somewhat consensually agreed to have some of their memories tampered with. I think Louis on some level after Claudia’s death might, due to his intense grief, wanted to emotionally “run away” so to speak. And that this series basically began with him for some reason or another now feeling ready to confront the past. So Armand’s seeming malevolence as a mind-manipulator will potentially be tampered by these facts. However Daniel will now presumably together with Louis find out about the role Armand played in Claudia’s death. Daniel’s empathy for Claudia is somewhat limited though, understandably as he has the human perspective and does, quite rightly, not excuse her murderous ways. But he might dislike Armand due to the self-serving aspect of the trial? Or maybe not?

6. At this point, I don’t think Louis and Daniel have been in a serious romantic relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if they hooked up or something similar but Louis seemed very genuine and definitive in welcoming Daniel as a friend he met once/or a few times years ago recording the tapes. If he was hiding a past history and/or romantic relationship from Daniel I think he would behaved differently. Of course he could also not remember, but I don’t think that’s the case here.

7. I guess what I’m most curious about is what kind of dynamic will take form between Daniel and Armand during and immediately following season two? I would love to hear your thoughts. Also the Dracula comparison was not my idea but something I’ve read somewhere here. So sorry for long post! Love your blog!

Hey!

Glad you like! <3

Sorry this took a moment (the answer is also a bit longer^^)

He did. And yes, it might contain obfuscation, but mostly… I think Armand was almost afraid that Daniel would accept the gift from Louis. Maybe Louis offered before, maybe he did not, but Armand surely didn’t. And… Armand loves Daniel. Ultimately Daniel will be his only fledgling. There is a level of possessiveness to that, of course, and also to the not-healed bite marks on Daniel’s throat, which more than likely did not just stem from Louis’ attack (because Armand would have needed to heal Daniel there at least a bit, and over the following 12 years he bit Daniel often). I think there are a lot of things at play. For the book readers it is a nice little easter egg on various levels (both Daniel’s and Armand’s past together and also Armand’s personal past being referenced), but also something more hinted at, something we have not been shown yet. Though, given the title of that music part (Alice is in her third trimester) a while back - maybe we will get to see it. Something must have happened to make Armand let Daniel go, and the repeated refusal in the books served to open a rift between them. I could easily see that happen here as well. That said, it would mean that we will get a LOT more DM in s2 than thought so far… and I’m not sure that will be the case. What I could easily see is Daniel reminiscing (or getting memories back) about the moment he “got his shit together” as he called it in s1 - but I do not think we will get all of what that entailed yet.

Most certainly :) I think he’s already getting it. Fareed is not there to play around after all^^.

I have speculated that the aforementioned rift that developed through Armand’s repeated refusal to turn Daniel will lead to Daniel seeking other … comforts. But I think it would actually need a big reason (like a baby…) to make him struggle for real - and I could see someone else then decide to end that struggle. Put an end to the hunt/relationship because it was not good for Daniel, ultimately, and because Armand could not be moved. As per Armand… I think Armand did acquiesce to Louis’ wishes to have Daniel redo the interview, and he likely was not happy about it. I mean, imagine how it would be to see the love of your life... and said love of your life does not remember you. Verbally throws things at you. It must be a wild mix of feelings for Armand, from annoyance over helpless love to utter devastation. No wonder he tried to literally hide from it. I do think Armand was already aware of Daniel’s sickness - the aforementioned medicine by Fareed he is getting - that had to be prepared. Planned, designed. Researched. Whatever it is they are giving him is not what they claim it to be (the side effects don’t match), and… given Daniel is not stupid he might hone in on that pretty soon. Now, in the books there is a pharmaceutical empire that is led by a powerful ancient vampire, Gregory, and he and Seth (who is Akasha’s son and Fareed’s lover/maker) are roughly on the same level. Seth, but mostly Fareed, builds whole research centers for the vampires. There is a LOT of potential for the show to hook into that, and I actually think both the more physical sex and the absent death sleep during the day are thanks to Fareed. If that will ever be spelled out? No idea, but the first is something Fareed already makes happen in the books and the second is something he plans to remove… so I do think that is connected. I think whoever is orchestrating behind the scenes (coughs prime minister coughs) wanted to help Daniel to live long enough to maybe reconcile Armand and Daniel. And for that Daniel needs his memories back. If that is Armand though… the show will tell :)

Well, I think it will be the same as in the book when the memories come back - Daniel will realize that he “loved this thing”, this monster, despite everything. Despite knowing what Armand has done. That is part of the horror, that the lover overshadows everything he knows, and that he is, in a way, helpless against that. Oh, I’m sure there will be a development of feeling, of course. But ultimately Daniel will realize that he loved Armand - absolutely, totally - and then eventually he will realize that he still does. And that will make him just as confused and vulnerable and hurt, and emotional as it makes Armand.

I can easily see Louis saying something like “I want the pain to stop” or something similar, and then Armand taking that as his cue to interfere. The thing is, Armand back then… is not the Armand in Dubai. DM happened in-between and it changed him. So when Armand likely “tinkered” with Louis’ mind back then it was more to serve himself - when he “tinkered” with Louis’ mind later on it was likely to help Louis. However he did and what that tinkering might entail. So yes, Daniel might challenge him on his part in it all, of course. I am counting on it, actually. Because Daniel is there to pull the truth out of Armand - that is (part of) why the interview is being redone. And of course that will shape Daniel’s view of him further - only the feelings won’t care for that view when they come back. Armand was quite the “villain” in the earlier books - that changed a bit with the later ones. But he is still a coven master, and Lestat calls him “ruthless” in the books. The show will present both Armands to us in direct confrontation - and I bet the emotions of the audience will be just as tumultuous as Armand’s and Louis’ and Daniel’s own are by this confrontation.

Oh, Daniel and Louis… probably got along really well and even intimately during those 12 years. I think Louis definitely has a personal connection to him, much more than in the book. It’s a weird relationship triangle they have there, and soon Lestat will be added to the mix - and I bet it will be revealed that Daniel has met Lestat before (as well).

I think after s2 Daniel will still be an old man, still be the interviewer, the chronicler. But remembering much, much more, and therefore challenging whoever else is on that couch then (I expect Lestat) a lot more as well. For example wrt episode 5. I would bet real money that we will get episode 5 in s3 from Lestat’s POV. Because by now I think there was nothing random, or unplanned about it. This show is a puzzle, and we have had only a few pieces. I think Armand and Daniel… will be very … raw with each other. Emotions are high, vulnerability as well. There will be intimate moments, but also rejection. Daniel’s view on eternity will change at some point, and probably rather rapidly with the memories coming back. There will be anger at the meddling. Daniel is no pushover. He will challenge them, and especially Armand. At some point he will realize that he does not need to ask - he can demand, to an extent at least. And that will change the dynamic once more.

It will be very, very interesting to watch^^.

[hakugin0]

So that new Levi card, woah boy(positive). I get how setting is slightly dubious but unfortunately my brain stopped at the ‘childish jealousy’ part and yeah childish was the perfect word he actually is throwing a bratty tantrum about MC talking about their time with Minhyeok WHILE THEY'RE NOT EVEN NEXT TO HIM. Levi, babey, you're not beating the Tsundere allegations.

Also the part about the sins was very interesting ‘cause it kinda puts in perspective why he feels like there's no King he's close to. Or at least that's my read on that part, all their sins have some positive parts while his is the only fully negative one so of course he couldn't feel close to them. (Personally I do think that part is his viewpoint on their sins and it would be interesting to see the other Kings’ too, Satan in particular since I feel like his sin and depressive mood swings do go hand in hand)

Now for the read more aka wiiiild speculations because he didn't come home in the reduced ten pull aka see you in 3 months bae when I have 500 pulls and you still refuse to show up(looking at you bath Satan), fair bit of character analysis and slight canon divergence(???) plus personal MC involvement.

GONNA PREFACE THIS BY WAVING NY ‘LEVI SIMP’ FLAG UP HIGH, IF THE CARD STORY WAS OFF PUTTING TO YOU OR YOU DISLIKE HIS CHARACTER IN GENERAL THEN MORE POWER TO YOU BUT PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST! IT AIN'T MEANT FOR YOU HOMIE (it's meant for me first and then anyone else who wants to witness my 3am insanity)

Aight? Aight! Here we go gamers

Gonna start this off by saying that when they dropped the first teaser for the card my expectations for the story were jelly Levi wants to replace minhyeok and thus enters MC's memories except surprise surprise it was actually some corn set in a high school (don't pretend those aren't a thing, we're all adults here, and with MC’s track record in that game it would not be surprising) in part because the story had to get spicy at some point.

Personal belief is that what we see in the prologue of Levi is the closest thing to a ‘normal’ him aka a version of him that got to experience a normal childhood and not have all the trauma of… ya know… HIS WHOLE PAST. The way he expected an attack when MC initially trips breaks me in a very particular way, he has never known peace, he expects everything to be some sort of attempt on his or his people’s life. The one time he wasn't as uptight ended up with him heavily injured (Bloodshed card).

There is also him ascertaining that they had different starting points. Now this could refer to a lot of things but to me one thing that does is put a definite line between them. To me it sounds like he's reasoning with himself that because of their very different lives they would be incompatible (combined with that thing about his sin being the only negative one it shows he always separates himself from people he would otherwise form bonds with)

Now he's still not nice, far from it, but he can be accommodating and look out for MC when he is not thinking 24/7 about possibly being attacked. Whether he reasons that it would endear himself more to them or out of pure instinct he looked out for MC, those were not Minhyeok’s actions he mimicked but his own.

So yeah, average Levi is horrendously bad at emotions and frankly probably the one who understands his own emotions towards a potential romantic partner(since tbh that is what MC is) the least. (This is a whole other can of brainworms about how aside from Solomon he probably has not been attached to anyone in that way until MC based on something he says in his H-Scene, but that can of worms shall be opened later) please get some therapists in Hell, clearly everyone would benefit from it.

There is also something impossibly endearing to me about seeing Levi in a high school setting even for a bit because that's not something he ever experienced and I wish his time exploring that part of MC and Minhyeok's past was a bit longer. I want to believe MC gets to ask him later in the story how he felt about it.

---

If you were only here for the character analysis then thanks for reading, have a lovely day/night/evening, we are going into wild speculation territory and some personal things regarding my MC Jin in that particular scenario.

tl;dr: After Jin's parents were killed she pretty much secluded herself in their home doing most of her studying through online courses and only showing up physically at school for a couple of days.

I choose to believe she was aware of stuff from the start but in that way you're aware you're in a dream while you sleep, she can tell things are a bit off but not fully what is wrong. She knows the person with her is not Minhyeok, she also knows who Leviathan is, but there's a certain disconnect when trying to piece it all together, but the further the dream goes the more she ‘realises’ and ‘awakens to the truth' if you will.

She cannot help but pity Levi’s situation even if she knows if she ever said that she'd probably get insta-hanged, so a part of her cannot help but wonder if he wanted to experience some normalcy for once. (She's not the brightest tool in the shed so the fact that he wants to replace Minhyeok would not pass by her singular braincell) (I love her I swear, being mean is my love language)

So I imagine after the whole dream thing is over and she next visits Hades she doesn't raise any questions about that event. She seems annoyingly unbothered and not curious at all. If anything this just makes Leviathan more angry because she can't be that unbothered after everything and pretend nothing happened, he should've been the only thing on her mind and yet she still sometimes mentions that detestable human. Oh how he should hang her for it. And then one day she has a conspicuously familiar candy in her mouth. “Was the experience at least a bit pleasant?” She's soft spoken anyway but she sounds almost apologetic. Why yes the experience was quite pleasant if Levi had to be honest but he'd never praise her openly… and then it hits him. She's not asking about that, she's asking about how he felt in a normal human high school.

When she gets no answer she stammers and starts speaking again, trying to fill the void. “I didn't exactly… go there often…” The pauses are plentiful and her shoulders droop almost in shame. “... so I imagine whatever you saw was rather lacklustre… aside from… my pathetic display-”

“It wasn't bad.”

A short sentence and it was enough to make the human girl perk up instantly. From anyone else that would be considered nigh an insult, but with Levi's temperament that was the highest praise she could hope for. By the time Jin was next to his desk after he'd beckoned her with a wave of his hand her visage had brightened significantly. ‘Stealing’ the lollipop from between her lips was ‘child’s play’ after that, the girl clearly took stunned to speak and becoming redder by the second.

“Yes, not bad at all.”

[cloudysarts]

All right I take the bait. Why do you believe Manel should have accompanied Pacifica at the party

AHHH THANK YOU IM SO EXCITED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF (in reference to this post)

ok. northwest mansion mystery is a great episode obviously. but HERES why i think the episode would've been even better if mabel was in dippers spot!!!!!! its kinda a lot so i put it under a read more

so this episode is sort of the middle-ish of season 2 i think, right before the ford reveal!! its not a super long show anyway so theres not a ton of pacifica appearances, anyway. BUT in EVERY SINGLE OTHER PACIFICA EPISODE, her energy has been bouncing off of mabel!!! from their meeting in double dipper, to irrational treasure, to golf war; they have been established as the main dynamic here. golf war is especially important here, because this is the very first step in pacfica's redemption arc! mabel saves her in this episode, the pines give her a ride home, and it seems like pacifica is going to start being a little more understanding of mabel because she had misjudged her, hence why she was treating her so poorly. it looks like theyre gonna establish a friendship between them!

and then. they dont. they basically never interact again. because the next time we see pacifica, she goes straight to dipper in northwest manor mystery. the cold open implies that the northwests wanted dipper specifically because of his knowlege of how to deal with the supernatural but IN MY OPINION that DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE because we NEVER see dipper fighting these monsters on his own? hes ALWAYS with mabel. at the very least, i think it shouldve been BOTH of them??? we see a brief shot of a newspaper clipping where dipper is fighting a vampire bat or something and i just. when did this happen. where is mabel

that would be a fine argument for it being both of them instead of just mabel so heres one of my bigger points thats gonna come back a lot in this breakdown: dipper. does not like pacifica. he STRAIGHT UP HATES HER. every single interaction theyve had has been negative!!! its even massively negative at the beginning of this ep!!!! though mabel often dislikes pacifica, she TRIES REALLY HARD TO LIKE HER. mabel has a lot of love in her heart, and if she could, shed want to be her friend!!! its always been pacifica whos been rejecting those advances!!! golf war was the start of pacifica understanding that about mabel, and it nmm wouldve been the PERFECT time to wrap up that arc, rather than leaving it!!!

and i would argue that could STILL LEAD INTO A DIPCIFICA ARC, if thats what the showrunners/fans wanted? most of why dipper hates pacifica to begin with is because shes so terrible to mabel. he only agrees to go to the party in canon because MABEL wants to!!! imo, i think the lead in to them being a couple would be a million times better if that massive problem in their relationship was solved first

i dont PERSONALLY like dipcifica but im trying to stay unbiased about this if you cant tell

i would also argue that like. dipper just seems really out of character. the reason i picked some of the scenes i did for my redraws, was because they were scenes that i think his behavior would fit mabel a lot better. examples:

why do the northwests have a suit in dippers size anyway. he literally doesnt even like wearing it sjkfhkj in a potential re-write of this ep, i considered that mabel would come in wearing her super extravagent home made dress, and it would 'violate dress code', so she would be forced to wear one of pacificas we could still have that cute dress-up expo scene that we do AND have some fun commentary/symbolism about pacifica being nervous about having her in the dress because its NICE and TOO GOOD FOR HER and she looked FINE BEFORE ANYWAY

mabels empathy is a recurring theme in the show. shed WANT to give pacifica the benefit of the doubt, and would be VERY betrayed when finding out her and her family already knew about the ghosts and knew what he wanted. i understand that dipper was so upset because it seemed like pacifica was changing for the better just to find out that she wasnt, but i think this fits so much better with mabel, because shes always WANTED to believe that shes secretly a good person. she would be glad to see her turn a corner, and would be upset when finding out she was 'wrong', and that she really was mean deep down. whcih would obviously lead to her comforting her later/finding out the truth about her etc etc. on the other hand, dipper literally never believed she had good in her. from the first interaction we see of them, he thinks shes as terrible as her family. he ISNT as interested in giving her the benefit of the doubt and if it wasnt a life or death situation i dont think he wouldve forgiven her. IDK i just think its more in character for her

the dancing scene!!! honestly this works fine as is (i can see both dipper and mabel being excited to make a mess on a fancy carptet) but idk i just think it carries so much more weight if its these two girls. silly moments for mabel!!!! pacifica getting to really be a kid and not just a sparkly prop!!!!!!! pacifica finally indulging in her sillyness that she mocked in irrational treasure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok moving on. one of the bigger things that bother me about it being dipper here instead of mabel is one teeny tiny (honestly really irrational) scene at the party. in it, dipper is confronted by fiddleford, who tells him he has big news about the author/the laptop and the towns in danger and its vitally important and dipper just. shrugs him off???!!?!?!?! i cannot even IMAGINE. in alex hirschs words "the first season is about dipper being in love with wendy, and the second is about him being in love with the author" meaning that. those are the TWO things that dipper is completely and totally obsessed with. hes clearly not over wendy (as we see in later episodes) and this is not long after sock opera/society of the blind eye so youd THINK hed be more depserate for answers than ever!??!?! this child was willing to sell out his great uncle and raise the dead and stay up for several nights in a row for answers, and the second he is offered some (from a man who WORKED WITH THE AUTHOR btw) hes like like 'whatevr'?!?!?! it is so out of character and it drives me fucking nuts every time. i know hes starting to like pacifica now but as we see in the comics (if you chose to think those are canon) HE DOESNT EVEN SEEM TO LIKE HER THAT MUCH!??!?! hes STILL convinced shes vain, and mean, and selfish!!!! he DOES start to have a little arc with her but jksdfjksf IDK i just cant in a million years see him passing up the chance for answers to the biggest mystery in gravity falls to hang out with a girl he tolerates

but yknow who i CAN see doing that? MABEL!!!!!!!! mabel would be concerned when mcgucket comes up to her, and starts talking like this!!!! i can totally see her suggesting that he relax for a little while and enjoy the party like dipper did, and then forgetting to come back to talk/not running into him later!!!! ESPECIALLY since i can see mabel WANTING to spend time with pacifica where dipper just. really doesnt seem to want to MOST of the time

ok ill admit that this last one is sort of a personal opinion. but i just. i really dont like the B plot of this episode with mabel and the girls. IDK its just so annoying and pointless to me to have a plot where its just a bunch of girls turning against each other over a guy. im not gonna say its mysoginistic bc i know little girls can be boy crazy but i just. dont see why there was a need to make them fight/turn against grenda briefly??? even when they rekindled and it was all ok in the end its just. in comparison to the A plot its so. Nothing.

in my head i have a rewrite of this episode and how it goes is that pacifica approaches dipper and asks for help and he turns it down (like he does in canon). mabel suggests that they do it anyway, but he refuses, as he wants nothing to do with her. when dippers gone, mabel agrees to help (and pacifica begrudgingly accepts bc it seems like the only option) and so she steals the journal when dippers not looking. she goes to the party, and events go pretty much the same?? only major difference i can think of is that the B plot is replaced by one where dipper realizes mabel and the journal are missing, so he sneaks into the manor/sneaks around the house trying to find he rand get it back (and its so massive he has no luck). the reason i think THAT works is because we can even still have the scene where dipper turns to wood like shifty prophesied!!!! and i would even argue it makes more sense this way because wasnt shiftys warning that "if you keep digging so deep into the secrets of gravity falls, this will be the last form youll ever take" ?

OK IM SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG im probably forgetting points too so i might edit it later but THANKS FOR ASKING

tldr: pacifica and mabels friendship plotline was left on a total cliffhanger after golf war and if mabel replaced dipper in nmm it would've been a good resolution to it

edit: check the reblogs if youre still interested! i added another list of reasons i think this (mostly in response to people disagreeing)

[two-braincells-in-total]

SPOILERS FOR THE GRANDEST GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off, I want to say that I liked this more than I expected. I don't usually vibe with spin-offs, I just don't like it when I get attached to characters amd then they become side characters in the next book, but this book surprised me in a good way

Let's unpack the characters:

Lyra: Don't come for me, but I must admit that I expected more from Lyra's character. Don't get me wrong, I still like her, but it was a little disappointing. Maybe a reason for it is that her POV wasn't as packed with action as the other characters' POVs, but either way, she has potential, so I'm having hope for Glorious Rivals. I don't know if I want her to win the game, because on one hand, hse deserves it, but the other hand, I really want Rohan to win

Gigi: her character hit very close to home, but in a good way. I saw myself in her, specifically tye dedication and the way no matter what she does she's never the best, the way she thought she was too much, which is also a reason why I was just as hurt at the end of the book. I was very sad when she got eliminated from the game, she was the third person I was rooting for (the first being Rohan, the second Lyra) and I know she was using the game as a way to prove to herself and the others that she is good enough, and I know from experience the devastation that comes when you fail. I really hope we have her POV in the next book, too, because I NEED to know why they kidnapped specifically her and how she's going to escape

Rohan: I didn't like him in The Brothers Hawthorne, but I LOVE him here. He was flirty and sassy and clever and I really enjoyed reading his perspective. I'm kind of disappointed that we didn't see much about his past, his POV was mostly focused on the game, unlike Gigi and Lyra, who we got to see as teenagers with trauma, but we got some crumbs, so I hope we get to see more of it in the next book. I really want him to win the game, because as much as I dislike the concept of the Mercy, it's the only live he has, he doesn't even have a last name outside of it. I don't know if I want him to decide that such lifestyle isn't good for him and attempt to start over, or deal with it, because the Mercy is a part of him, so for now both options work for me

Grayson: I have to admit, out of the good characters in the other books, he was my least favourite. I believe that there are two kinds of relatable characters - 1) the type that makes you feel seen, so you love them and 2) the type that points out all of your flaws and insecurities, so you dislike them. For me, Grayson is the second kind. In this book, however, it's obvious that character development has been done and I actually liked him. I still don't get why they decided to make him a player, what are they planning with this? And isn't the point of the game to give money to someone who needs it, why would they give him the chance for it and lessen the chances for winning of the other players? I really hope they explain it in the next book

Brady: I felt something was off with him from the very beginning, but I still fell for his lies and everything. It was exactly what Gigi needed to hear, and if I'm being honest, what I needed to hear, so I didn't see the traps. I spent a huge part of the book fighting with myself about him, because some part of me wanted him to be Gigi's love interest, while another part said that he's too good to be true and that's exactly what it was. I felt Gigi's hurt at the end of the book, especially when he accepted to continue the game, even when most of the game was solved by Gigi (who I applaud for the choice to accept her loss, even though I think she should've accepted the extra chance). I figured out that he wasn't what we thought he was around the time of the power cut off, I felt that he was going to betray her, and even though he didn't exactly do that, I still think there's more to him than what we know now and I highly doubt it's good

Knox: I had complicated feelings about him the entire time, up until the end. Part of the negative feelings about him were cause by the comparison with Brady and, now that I know who Brady is, I think the positive feelings overruled. He was just cautious and I think Gigi grew on him at the end. I really hope we see more of him in the next book, there's still a lot of stuff about him left unanswered

Odette: I think she's the only player beside the POV characters and Grayson that I actually trusted and turned out to be right. She was kind of just there, though the whole thing with Tobias was a juicy secret. I'm still caught on the questions she didn't answer though

Savannah (help, it autocorrected it to Satan, I'm dying): She's on thin ice. She already wasn't one of my favourites, but the whole revenge thing isn't doing her good. I admit that I'm biased, Avery is my favourite character in the whole saga. I'm pretty sure that Eve told her (because where else could she find that information? We also know that Eve was planning to contact her in the epilogue of TBH), so she might not know the whole story, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. She has chances to get on my good side in the next book, but for now I'm 50-50 about her

Avery and the rest of the Hawthornes were iconic as always

The relationships:

Lyra and Grayson: It's definitely a very cute ship and it's going somewhere, but I expected it to be more interesting. I loved the dinamic and banter in the beginning, but things got a little bit boring as the book progressed. Still, it has SO MUCH potential and I hope we see more of them in the next book. For some reason, they didn't feel like the main ship. I don't know why. Maybe because we got multiple POVs and all relationships are kind of main, but I felt like they aren't the main ship, just how Lyra didn't really feel like the protagonist (because, correct me if I'm wrong, the protagonist is one, the character who has the most page time, even if there are multiple main/lead characters). I didn't track how much page time each character/relationship got, but even if they did get them most, it doesn't really feel like it. Honestly, I was expecting them to be more angsty. Maybe part of my expectations for them was the fandom and predictions before it came out (which is still weird ,because I purposely distanced myself from lyrason posts to avoid disappointment but oh well). I'm still not giving up on them, though, I liked them a lot!

Savannah and Rohan: they were probably my favourite ship from this book. THE TENSION!!! I was squealing every time Rohan called her love. Honestly, I was squealing every time Rohan. Period. I was thinking "kiss, kiss, kiss, KISS MFs" the entire time. As of nicknames, I loved "love" and I find "British" cute (even though I've seen many people say they don't like it), but idk what to think about "Savvy". Because, it was fun while he used it to annoy her, but it's kinda cringe when it became an actual nickname. Either way, I LOVE how smitten Rohan was the entire time. Like, they're solving a riddle and he's like "Savannah is another riddle, wait, FOCUS, but Savannah, FOCUS" it was adorable. I really enjoyed watching him lose his shit internally every time they touched. The scene with him brushing her hair is officially my favourite from the whole book, it's embarrassing how much I'm obsessed with it

Gigi and Brady: I spent some time thinking that he was the love interest, but as I said, he was too good to be true. And even before the reveal, I was still doubting it, because Slate was already mentioned and he called her "sunshine", so obviously, I, being a sucker for nicknames, lost it. I spent most of this book rooting for Gigi and Brady, but now I think it's unfair to her. Even if what he said to her about his brain liking A lot and the other stuff, he admits that he still loves Calla (who btw, what is the whole thing with her??? We were teased about it the entire book and we got nothing!), so it's AveryGrayson all over again, but worse, because Brady did it all intentionally. Now, I'm really hoping that I'm correct about Slate being the actual love interest and I hope we see more of Gigi and Slate in the next book, because it sounds promising

The AveryJameson crumbs were SO CUTE

NASH AND LIBBY ARE HAVING TWINS I'M DYING I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM

Now, some specific plot points:

What was the power cut about??? I'm still confused and concerned about what happened while the power was off

Wtf does Eve want???

The whole thing with Alice is kinda confusing, but so very interesting, I need to know more about it

What's the whole thing with Calla about???

All in all, I enjoyed this book a lot. I'm excited for the next book and I hope my questions get answered

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

It’s been made pretty clear by the fandom, not just Buddie Shippers, that we aren’t really fans of who Buck and Eddie end up with in the finale.

The biggest issue I have with the pairings is that they weren’t worked up, they kind of just showed up and we have no reason to care about them.

If these women are supposed to be endgame, at least give us ample reason to support the choice.

Natalia: They really screwed up her character because there was so much potential in making her interesting and someone we would like to get to know. She’s a death dula and Buck died. Instead of having her tell Buck that it’s so “cool” that he died they could of had her play an active role in having him process his death. I mean they still have the opportunity to do that but after they gave us a cringe date, a recycled story line, but with less depth, they gave us too many reasons to dislike her as a character for me to even see that play out.

They made the same mistake they made with Lucy. Instead of having Natalia be a friend to Buck they force her to be a love interest which adds nothing new to bucks character.

But imagine Buck’s character development if Natalia was a friend. He would have gone from Buck 1.0 ( The guy who only does hook ups), to Buck 2.0 (the guy who just ends up in relationships) to Buck 3.0 (the guy who chooses himself and is able to be friends with a woman).

We can also address the fact that there is a lack of chemistry between Buck and Natalia. The kiss in the finale was awkward and not in a cute endearing way. I will say, I love that she doesn’t look like she could be related to Buck. I’m willing to see their relationship play out during season 7, but I just can’t see it being the end game.

Marisol: Where did she come from. What do you mean this is the girl that has Eddie acting like a middle schooler. She came out of nowhere and we know almost nothing about her, besides the fact that she fixes her brother’s mistakes.

I rewatched Season 6, Episode 5: Home Invasion, where we are first introduced to Marisol and after watching the episode, I believe the fan theory that her brother’s rescue was originally written as a boyfriend being rescued. But after the scenes where already filmed, the writers decided she’d be the love interest so they re-recorded the audio of the scene. I’m serious go back and watch her emergency, there is something off about it.

Marisol to me feels like another Ana. No substance, no reason for me to care about her. They both barely interacted, so their phone call makes less sense the more you think about it.

The same episode where Eddie is told he can’t look for love, he finds what he’s “been looking for”. This feels like Eddie is again only doing what he thinks he is supposed to do. Instead of processing his feelings of loneliness, he’s doing what he thinks the world expects him to do and date someone. He married Shannon because he felt like he had to. He stayed with Ana because he thought it was best for Christopher. And he’s settling for Marisol because he doesn’t want to be alone. None of those reasons are good reasons to pursue someone for a serious relationship.

It’s one thing to have Eddie date because he wants to be outside his comfort zone, meet people, and have fun. It’s a completely other thing to have him date because he feels like he needs to.

The only way to make Marisol a good character is by having her be a person that helps Eddie figure that out. She helps him realize that it’s not just about the end game, but his ability to just enjoy her company and not so worried about what the end result. She can just be someone he dates because she was fun to date. A relationship that shows him that you can have someone be an important part of your journey, but not your end game. Like a summer fling.

Given the fact that the actress who plays Marisol recently reposted a transphobic meme and couldn’t even attempt a sincere apology, I hope we don’t get to see her at all in season 7. She can be explained away by Eddie mentioning her once and just saying it felt promising but she just wasn’t the one. I have no interest in see their relationship play out.

Buddie: In my opinion, the best match for Buck and Eddie will always be each other. The writers have their relationship set up as the perfect slow burn, friends to lover scenario. And even though they screwed up the finale a bit, they can easily correct their wrongs. Buck and Eddie’s chemistry is undeniable and having them end up together would play into their individual story lines so perfectly.

I need this relationship that has developed organically to flourish in Season 7.

I will continue to manifest Buddie and let me use this moment to state couch theory is not dead. Buck will just need to get rid of another couch.

[kirarafelis]

Character biographies part 1.5 + art!

DUNCAN

Name: Duncan 

Likes: Wild events. 

Dislikes: His given daily schedule and responsibilities. 

Known for: Being the only one not interested in any sort of justice within his family.

Why TDI?: To get something new and different out of life.

Duncan comes from a long line of cops. His dad is a cop. His mom is a cop. His uncle, aunt, grandma, and cousins are cops. Unlike them, however, Duncan isn't that interested in that end of the spectrum; he'd rather get some enjoyment, and he's the type who probably shouldn't be trusted with any sort of authority anyways. So Duncan's parents decided to just throw random hobbies at him to keep him from doing anything too mischievous, such as but not limited to: fashion, knitting, and sewing. He's already gotten some warnings, which his mom had to talk out. He's also been put into boarding school after several school hops and pretty much well indulged by his dad to keep him from screwing up their family line reputation. Duncan doesn't necessarily care enough to get the full learning experience from boarding school, though, in his words, he'd rather do an "innovative, creative" break in to show his artistic skills than go through another art class. He also has street smarts and isn't afraid to use them. Despite his cocky nature, the therapists who have worked with Duncan will say he has potential and wants to do good for the world; it just isn't shown exactly through his exterior. When Duncan isn't being put through excessive work or lectures, he looks for ways to curb his boredom, like signing up for Total Drama Island. Duncan figured it couldn't be much worse than a day at boarding school. and, who knows, it could be fun to mess around there. It's not like he's doing anything else this summer.

GWEN

Name: Gwen

Likes: Hosting mold breaking parties from the norm with her little brother.

Dislikes: Following trends.

Known for: Putting beef bouillon cubes in the Community Pool

Why TDI?: To have a good time and the money would really help her mom.

The daughter of a single mom, Gwen was a latchkey kid who grew up taking care of her brother. That's cool with Gwen, because she likes helping out her mom and has tons of fun with her brother, too.

Like the time they put a bunch of beef bouillon cubes into the community pool. (At least the neighborhood dogs were happy!)

The only other thing that Gwen is REALLY passionate about is organizing parties. She believes they can be a substantial form of self-expression; she's been told plenty of her uniqueness for it, and she herself hopes to make the most norm-breaking party ever gain traction without having to go by a single trend for it. One day after all, the last thing she'd do is follow a trend. Maybe a Trent, but never a trend. (wink wink!) Although she's pretty popular for her parties, she is the loner at school. At the same time, she isn’t seen much with others; she spends most of her time instead watching and generating new ideas. But ask someone, and they will say that for a loner, she is a pretty rad one.

Gwen heard about total drama from her brother, and after looking into it, she decided it's just what she'd be looking for in an island retreat. Activities, fun, and relaxation.

Plus, if she wins the $100,000, it would sure make life easier for her mom. Gwen may seem tough as nails on the outside, but when it comes to her family, she's as soft as... well, a marshmallow.

GEOFF

Name: Geoff

Likes: Art, camping, and hanging out at the beach.

Dislikes: Parties that get too wild and shallow superficial people.

Known for: Always drawing in his free time at school.

Why TDI?: A experience different from the typical partying, if not that there’s camping.

Geoff grew up in a party town on the west coast. Spring break, long weekends, summertime—people came from all around to party in his town. So it's not a surprise due to the fact that Geoff isn’t exactly the biggest partygoer; he ended up coming across as an odd one out, or just quite literally an outcast. Now Geoff has seen, at a young age, how to really party. REALLY. He's the oldest of five brothers, but being the oldest also leads to the most responsibilities. Usually, when a party is over, he takes on the job of cleaning up the mess. (One time, almost the entire floor was flooded with fruit punch!) Now he doesn't hold any grudge against his brothers or parents for this, though; it is his duty as the eldest, but he isn't exactly happy about it either. And he thinks that at times the parties start to become too repetitive and similar. Even if Geoff says he hates the idea of doing parties entirely, thanks to his bohemian parents (who met, married, and conceived Geoff on a beach), Geoff still has chillaxin' party-hearty DNA in his blood, even if not apparent. He's the star quarterback on his high school football team, and they’ve scored plenty of wins, but the thing that truly highlights Geoff is his passion for art. A fair share of the cool kids are pretty interested in his art and hang out with him for it. He couldn’t care less about if they were “cool” or not, though; he’d hang out with anyone regardless of where they lie. Geoff's goal is to take a bit out of life and chew it until there's nothing left but seeds that he can scatter into the wind to start with a canvas all over again. His eventual plan is to become a professional artist who brings emotion and laughs with his works. He thinks that would be the most awesome career ever. He can't even imagine how great that would be, and he would definitely ace it, too. He wants to be able to make people feel together. Geoff also enjoys spending time at the beach or in the woods on weekends and sketching on his pad. Now, being real about it, Geoff wasn't exactly expecting to be on Total Drama Island this year; his brothers just thought he totally should give the show a try, so eventually he gave in and auditioned. He was surprised to actually be picked though he didn't actually expect to be spending his summer on a reality TV show. He doesn't mind too much, though; it might be fun.

BRIDGETTE

Name: Bridgette

Likes: Strummin’ on her ukulele

Dislikes: People who aren't kind to Mother Earth

Known For: Her sense of humor and creativity

Why TDI?: To spread the message of cosmic love through music.

Bridgette grew up in a small west coast town, and it shows. She’s always enjoyed the simple things, from the rhythm of a waterfall down to the melody of a bird. She’s an expert at riding bikes too; she first learned to ride one before she could even walk! When she’s just on a stroll, though, she's kind of klutzy. She's done her fair share of lead-outs. (And they were all on foot!) Luckily, she's also got a healing touch. Bridgette's strongest attributes are her sense of humor and her creativity. She's a pretty laid-back, go-with-the-flow girl, and her best friend is her mom. They both love flowers, crystals, and everything else that is part of Mother Nature's beautiful bounty. Bridgette's mom is proud of her not only because she's a giving person, but also because she's also on the honor roll at school. She’s also considered pretty cool for her ukulele-playing skills. People will say she can play it in a unique way you don’t see every day. Bridgette signed up for Total Drama Island because she always tries to open herself up to new opportunities. She's already biked off a hill in Peru, helped build houses in a third-world country, and spent a summer making rugs in a monastery in Nepal. Bridgette's goal is to keep the vibe flowing in a good way. That's why she always uses her ability to make soothing music to raise money for charities. She can be seen on social media or performing on the street, but no matter what, she makes sure she stores the money to be put to good use for good causes. Bridgette hopes that her time on Total Drama Island will spread the message of music to communicate nature and cosmic love to a larger audience.

TRENT

Name: Trent

Likes: Collecting seashells as well as everything else the shore has to offer… in pairs of nine.

Dislikes: His dad telling him to become an accountant.

Known For: Being a cool guy.

Why TDI?: It sounded like a good way to spend the summer

Trent is a guy who is very interested in the ocean and he believes it has spiritual secrets if you look deep enough. That’s why since he could barely walk he’s been exploring the shore. In fact He’s proud to call himself the most knowledgeable kid concerning the local beaches. Eventually, Trent's goal is to have his own full fledged rockin’ artifact collection. Trent is also peculiarly good at surfing in edition to that all. Trent has never gone out of his way to "get" people to like him. He'd just rather chill and get a good view of everything going on in the world. He's a straight shooter who tells it like it is. He would never say he's the "cool guy." Trent is the kind of guy who gets girls and has the other guys admiring him. He's just too likable to hate. His surfing and scavenging skills seal his status as one cool compadre. In his junior high graduating class he was voted as "Most Mysterious and Irresistible." (It was later discovered that the Voting Committee was comprised completely of girls, all of whom dated Trent.) Despite his good looks and easy going matter, Trent is smarter than he's given credit for. Though his grades don't reflect it, his IQ is well above anyone's expectations, including his own. His Dad wished he would follow in his footsteps and become an accountant, to which Trent has four words... NOT - IN - THIS - LIFETIME! Trent auditioned for Total Drama Island because it sounded like a cool way to spend the summer...and $100,000 would make a nice funding for that scuba gear and other

Footnote: Wow, this was harder than it should’ve been for me to make… if I had to say out of all of them here, Geoff took the longest to come up with. Even then though I feel like I could do better tried as hard as I could though for right now anyways, anddd I’m hoping to not take as long with future batches. Also I’ll definitely draw very cool shots for Tyler, Courtney, and Lindsay later on the future as well even if I already did their biographies.🤩

[chackyxyooj]

You Believed You Weren't Enough

No Manga Spoilers Present! - High School AU

Potential TW: Verbal Suggestive Harassment (Stupid High School delinquent type stuff (Not from any of the named characters) - please be weary if you get extremely uncomfortable with stuff like that)

WC ~ 13,000

“If you knew something bad was going to happen to someone, wouldn’t you try to stop it from happening?”

Admiration and jealousy - two emotions that are awfully different yet a little too similar. To admire someone is to regard another as worthy of respect due to their achievements and advantages. Jealousy is to envy someone for the very same achievements and advantages we admire. Hence is the reason why admiration and jealousy can so easily be mistaken for one another; especially in regard to someone we deem better than ourselves.

What is the turning point in which admiration turns to jealousy?

If someone could change themselves to be more akin to the person they admire, wouldn’t they?

Is it, after all, such a horrible thing to want to be like the person we admire? If jealousy is just a single misstep away from adoration, how can we be certain about which emotion we truly feel?

Sunlight streamed into the room, making it perfectly clear that ‘tomorrow’ had become ‘today.’

While you were never particularly fond of waking up, your body felt awfully different this morning. It wasn’t the groggy or heavy feeling someone feels when they’re sick, nor was it a reluctance to get out of bed. There was just something off about today. When you peeked open your eyes to search for your phone, you suddenly found yourself somewhere equally unfamiliar as it was familiar.

Instead of waking up in your apartment in the city, you found yourself waking up in your childhood home. Although the answer of ‘where’ was rather obvious, there were a lot of questions that currently raced through your mind.

Why were you back home? How did you get here? Did someone bring you here, or did you bring yourself here? Why did you need to pee so badly?

You rushed out of your room and to the bathroom. Between all of the strange questions that still played in your mind, you could at least find solace in the fact that you had woken up somewhere somewhat familiar instead of somewhere completely unknown. A strange silver lining to be sure, but a silver lining nonetheless.

As you finished with your business, old habits began kicking in and you quickly found yourself twisting across the bathroom the way you had when you were younger. Perhaps it was just being in the house that made you feel younger, but you couldn’t deny that you kind of… felt younger.

The water you washed your hands with was just as cold as the realisation that you didn’t just feel younger, you were younger.

You must have looked ridiculous - dashing from the bathroom to your bedroom while wiping your damp hands along the front of your shirt. Before you knew it, you found yourself staring at your phone in disbelief.

Today was ‘today,’ but the ‘today’ three years in the past.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

If you were to describe your life so far using a single word, you’d likely use the word adequate. It wasn’t as if you disliked the life you lived, neither did you think that your life was significantly better than the average person. You of course had your fair share of highs and lows, but you’ve always believed that things could have been far worse. Hence is the reason why you simply describe your life as adequate .

You never really considered yourself as someone who looks back at their highschool years with fondness, however, you never really disliked them either. To be honest, you found that you could only deem your highschool experience as adequate. That wasn’t to say that you were looking forward to reliving your entire highschool experience.

A part of you hoped that you would wake up and realise that you were dreaming this whole time. Still, there was a part of you that knew that wouldn’t happen - the part of you that vaguely knew why this was happening in the first place.

In any case, waking up three years in the past isn't necessarily the worst thing that could have happened. You considered yourself lucky for waking up at the start of your first year of highschool. The path you had chosen post graduation wasn’t really something you were passionate about, so you would take this strange phenomenon as a blessing in disguise.

As the bell rang for the final time today, you collected your pencils and notebooks into your bag. You may have said goodbye to these familiar walls and seats once before, but now you were back. Nothing about the school was unfamiliar. Even if you hadn’t travelled three years back, it had only been a few weeks since graduation. You doubted that you could easily forget the place you spent so much time in.

You quickly fell back into old habits - weaving through crowds and getting to your locker as quickly as possible

Despite how you’ve seen everything here before, it was just… different. It was strange to recall such vivid memories of the future for things you would usually consider mundane. It was as though you were constantly filled with a feeling of deja vu.

The front entrance of the school was nostalgic.

The meticulous cracks that ran across your path home were as endearing as ever.

You even found the cherry blossom petals that were scattered across the road oddly charming.

You felt inclined to retract your earlier opinions about your highschool experience. Perhaps highschool wasn’t nearly as adequate as you’d made it out to be. Perhaps all it took was walking through these familiar sights that made you remember why you never really minded walking to and from school by yourself.

Though, to say you were walking by yourself right now would’ve been a generous statement.

As you made your way home, you couldn’t stop checking over your shoulder. You weren’t sure why, but someone had been following you for about three blocks now.

Despite your follower’s intimidating frame (and frankly, their overall delinquent-esque aura), they were also wearing a middle schooler's uniform. You couldn’t recall someone of your “follower’s” stature living in your area, but it wasn’t as if you usually noticed these kinds of things anyway.

Your curiosity suddenly turned to panic when the footsteps of your ‘follower’ sped up.

It would’ve been easy to assume that they were just trying to pass you, but the way their pace frequently slowed and sped up again didn’t give you too much hope. You did your best to keep a steady pace, hoping that the boy would back off or make up their mind to pass you. Weren’t these ‘delinquent’ types supposed to be cold and rude? This boy just seemed indecisive.

Despite your better judgement, you turned on your heel and faced your ‘follower.’

“Do you need something?” You questioned. You were surprised to see such a young boy suddenly standing across from you (though perhaps not entirely since he was wearing a middle school uniform). The moment you made eye contact, the younger boy redirected his gaze to the floor.

“I… umm… is this…?” the boy muttered.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear what you’re saying.” You stepped closer to try and make out what he was saying, only for the boy to step back.

“Ah… it’s just that… I…”

“Sorry, I still can’t seem to understand you.”

The boy suddenly took a deep breath and reached into his pocket. Before you could properly react, the boy took your hand, placed something in it and then ran off.

Bewildered, you watched the boy run down the street until he was out of sight.

Everything about that interaction was certainly weird, but there was never a point where you genuinely felt threatened. As you looked at what the boy had handed you, you quickly realised two things.

First, the boy had returned your student card. Obviously, you must have dropped it without realising that you had dropped it in the first place. It was nice of him to bring it to you, even if he was rather sketchy while doing so. You almost felt bad for thinking he might’ve been some sort of delinquent, but only almost.

Secondly, when the boy had handed you your student card, he accidentally handed you his student card as well.

A strange feeling suddenly sprouted in the pit of your stomach as you read the boy’s name.

It’s not as though you knew who this person was. You couldn’t even recall having many friends younger than yourself back in highschool, let alone friends that could easily be mistaken for delinquents or something. Still, you needed to do something about the young boy’s student card. He’d gone the extra mile to return your student card to you, after all.

Against your better judgement, you began running in the direction you had watched the young boy disappear. You had to stop a few times to ask passersby if they had seen the boy in question. Your concern over having the boy’s student card led you farther and farther away from your own home. Just as you were losing hope, you spotted a familiar silhouette walking up a driveway a few houses down.

Seeing as you’d already come this far, you ran after the boy. 

“Excuse me!” You tried to call out to the boy, but his movements only seemed to quicken. You scrambled after him in the most non threatening manner you could manage and stopped at the edge of the driveway. Out of breath from running, you huffed between each word. “Hold on… I have something for you!”

The young boy looked toward you but never met your gaze.

You held up your pointer finger, buying yourself some time to catch your breath. Just as you were about to pull the young boy’s student card out of your pocket, a hand roughly latched onto your wrist. Your eyes immediately shot up to meet with a new, unfamiliar pair.

“The hell do you think you’re doing?” The newcomer, a boy with white hair, scowled. You gently tried to pull your hand away from him but his grip was awfully strong. “Well?”

If you thought the young boy before looked like a delinquent with his mohawk, then the person who stood in front of you now was almost undeniably a delinquent. Even if it wasn’t for the older boy’s white hair, the glare in his eyes certainly made you feel uneasy. Needless to say, if looks could kill, you would’ve died.

“I have his student card…” The words you wanted to say got caught in your throat as the boy continued to stare down at you.

“Why? You steal it or something?”

“Of course not! I came to return it to him!” You blurted, earning another stern glare.

“So you followed him all the way back to our house? Creep.”

“I- okay yes, that was definitely not my brightest moment but-” You paused. Why had you followed the boy all the way back. Returning his card is fair enough, but why not just bring it to his school? Surely that would’ve been a safer and a marginally more effective way than following the young boy all the way out here, so why put in so much effort?

Was it because you wanted to do something nice? Ensuring that the boy’s student card somehow got back to him was essentially the bare minimum, but why go this far at all?

You suddenly found your gaze trailing toward the white haired male in front of you.

Was it because of him? You hadn’t realised it before, but the older boy was wearing the uniform of the same school that you currently attended. Staring at him now, there was definitely an air of familiarity around him.

The heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach returned as your eyes jumped between the pair of boys.

It is often said that memories are one of the most precious things in the world. Humans can do so much in a single day, yet not every single moment can be recalled at will. Generally, it’s only certain experiences, moments which elicit strong emotions, that can be recalled vividly. Past traumas, fleeting moments of joy and long periods of grief are many of the first things to come to mind when one brings up strong memories. It’s these kinds of memories that tend to shape people into who they are.

However, to say that people can only recall memories linked with strong emotion would also be incorrect. Sometimes, things we once perceived as unimportant can suddenly rush back when faced with some kind of trigger.

In this case, a trigger had gone off in your brain due to the name on the boy’s student card.

Genya Shinazugawa.

Shinazugawa.

While Genya wasn’t a name that immediately rang any bells, his last name, Shinazugawa, certainly did. Back when you were in highschool (the first time), you recalled the name Shinazugawa circulating around your school. Apparently he was a well known delinquent type who was rumoured to frequently get into fights. You never had the chance to confirm for yourself whether or not the rumours about your upperclassman was true - early on in your first year, news of Shinazugawa’s death spread like wildfire around your school.

You could feel a wave of adrenaline beginning to take over your senses, providing you with enough strength to pull your hand, along with the young boy’s student card, out of your pocket. “He accidently handed me his student card earlier and ran off before I could return it to him. I shouldn’t have followed him all the way here, that’s my mistake, but since I’ve already come all this way I might as well return it.”

There was a curious glint in the older boy’s eyes for a moment, but he turned away from you before you could confirm if what you saw was real.

“Genya! Get your ass over here!” The young boy, Genya, sheepishly made his way to the older boy’s side. “You better thank her for coming all this way.”

Genya turned his body toward you but kept his eyes on the ground. “T-thank you...”

“When you thank someone, look them in the eye for crying out loud.” The older boy berated, causing Genya to stiffen. “And speak up. What good is saying thanks if no one can hear you?

The young boy slowly lifted his gaze to meet yours, but no words came from him.

The silence between the three of you was awfully stiff, so you quickly filled it with words of your own. “Umm… don’t worry about it. I was simply returning the favour. How about you take your student card and call it even?” You put on your best smile, but it only made Genya turn his gaze away from you again.

Having had enough of the young boy’s attitude, the white haired male took the student card from your hand and slapped it into Genya’s hand. “The next time you do something nice for someone, make sure you don’t inconvenience them, dumbass!”

Not wanting to cause any more of a scene, you stepped away from the two boys. “I’m glad everything has worked out. I’ll be taking my leave now.” You turned away from the boys and began walking the way you had come, only to stop dead in your tracks when you met eyes with a small group of boys across the street.

They were wearing highschool uniforms, but not ones that you immediately recognized. Then again, it would be hard to recognize any school’s uniform when worn as improperly as what you were seeing right now.

The group of boys stood staring at you and the two Shinazugawas as they muttered something amusing to each other.

“What’s so funny? I got something on my face?” The white haired boy scowled.

You could feel your heart beginning to race and not in the cute kind of way. You felt like a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any sudden movement. You nearly jumped out of your skin when the white haired boy was suddenly standing right beside you, let alone when he pulled you back so you were standing beside Genya.

You weren’t really sure what to make of the situation. The whole time the older boy was staring down the other group of boys, you could only think about how you ended up getting yourself caught up in something like this in the first place.

All you wanted to do was one nice thing. Why did stuff like this always have to happen?

Just as you felt the last of your self restraint slip away, the group of boys began walking down the street. As the group turned the bend, you finally felt your body relax. You barely had a moment to relax though, since the moment the group was gone the older boy was back to scowling at you and the younger boy.

“Alright, it’s great that you went out of your way for my dumbass little brother, but you shouldn’t be seen around the likes of us.”

“Why?” You asked, your own curiosity getting the better of you.

“Why? Cause those shitheads are bad news, that’s why.” The older boy groaned. “Look, it’s better that you don’t get swept up in the wrong crowd. Just cut your losses and be on with your life already. We don’t need your pity.”

Pity, huh?

You abruptly turned away from the two boys. “You’re right. Pity is for the pathetic, and you certainly aren’t, so you don’t need it.”

“That’s great, are you done now?”

You could feel words bubbling up inside of your chest, but you ultimately held your tongue. To argue with a fool would simply make you a fool yourself.

You could hear Genya addressing the older boy as his brother as you walked away, but you didn’t bother turning back. You didn’t want to hear anything that the white haired boy might’ve had to say. Even if you did hear what he had to say, you were sure that it would only irritate you even more. What was so important about these two anyway? They were just strangers to you. 

That’s right, nothing more than strangers.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

As night came and went, and tomorrow became today, you found yourself stuck in the past. At this point you just had to accept that this was reality. You went through the motions of life just as you had before - wake up, breakfast, go to school, learn. It was the very same way you’ve always lived, but today something felt off.

This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had an ‘off’ day, but something in particular was lingering at the back of your mind.

Had you been too harsh to the white haired boy yesterday? It wasn’t as though you said anything particularly insulting, but it wasn’t like you had been that great of a person either. There was no reason that you were obligated to apologise. You didn’t know them and they didn’t know you. What should it matter to you?

Still, there was little doubt in your mind that the boys you had met, the older one in particular, were the Shinazugawas. It wasn’t like they were the most unruly people you’d ever met. To be honest, the boys didn’t come off as bad people. A bit quick to jump to conclusions at times, sure, but that didn’t necessarily make them bad people.

Now that you really thought about it, hadn’t the older boy protected you? As rude as he may have been, he hadn’t left you to fend for yourself. That was worth something, right?

Thoughts from the ‘past’ nagged at you from the back of your mind.

…found dead… Shinazugawa… tragedy…

Could you really call yourself a good person if you knew someone was going to get hurt and didn’t do anything to stop it? That wasn’t the kind of person your parents raised you to be. It wasn’t the kind of person you wanted to be.

If only your parents weren’t abroad right now. Your mother has always known how to address these sorts of things. Life was always so much better when they were around, but unfortunately for you they weren’t around often. Still, this wouldn’t be the first time you’ve had to solve your own problems and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Perhaps the next time you saw one of the two boys, you would try to befriend them.

The school bell rang and informed all that it was time for lunch. Just as you were about to pull out your lunch, a familiar figure walked past one of the windows of your classroom. Before you knew it, you were slipping through the crowds of people as you made your way outside. It seemed like doing things despite your better judgement was becoming something of a trend.

You weren’t sure what the older Shinazugawa was doing outside, but due to the way your classroom was positioned it seemed like he was heading toward the main gate. Was he cutting class? It would certainly fit the delinquent-esque persona he had accumulated.

As you scanned the courtyard for the older boy, you couldn’t help but curse the sun for being unreasonably bright today. This was making things unnecessarily difficult. Should you just give up and look again later? It wasn’t like you didn’t know where they lived - not to sound creepy of course! On second thought, perhaps it would be better to approach the older boy at school so as to not arouse any suspicion.

So caught up in trying to find the white haired boy, you didn’t even realise that you had neglected to change your shoes. By the time you realised it, you were already falling.

You braced for impact but instead of hitting the ground, someone had caught you.

“Umm… are you alright?”

For some reason, you expected to meet a golden gaze when you opened your eyes. Instead, you were met with a pale shade of purple.

“It’s you!” The words accidentally slipped from your lips. You pulled away quickly when you realised you were clinging to the very person you were trying to find. The moment it seemed that the older boy recognised you, he turned and started walking away. A bit panicked, you grabbed the boy’s sleeve. “Wait, I need to speak with you!”

The older boy stopped walking, but neither did he turn to look at you.

“I umm… I want to apologise for the way I acted yesterday. It was rather immature of me to do and say the things I did, so I sincerely hope that you don’t harbour any ill will towards me.”

“Oh… it’s fine.”

“You’re certain about that?”

“Uhh…”

“What’s going on?” A newcomer suddenly asked.

You and the older boy turned towards the newcomer - none other than the young boy, Genya. He had an oddly tense expression on his face as he looked at the two of you in what you could only describe as irritation.

“Oh, Shinazugawa-kun! It’s you!” You pulled away from the older boy and turned your attention to the newcomer. “I apologise for the inconvenience I caused you yesterday. I hope you don’t-”

“I really don’t care.”

You were taken aback by the young boy’s sudden quip, reduced to having a blank stare on your face. It’s not like you really knew the kid, but you’d be lying if you said that his response hadn’t come from left field.

To be honest, something about this entire interaction has rubbed you the wrong way. Both of the boys were acting so different from how they had yesterday, but their actions weren’t entirely foreign. It was like… almost like they had adopted each other’s mannerisms and habits overnight. But things like that don’t happen normally.

As if you could describe what you’d gone through as normal.

You’ve heard rumours about strange things happening to people for reasons that couldn’t be explained - you had become especially curious about it back when you attended high school the ‘first’ time; back when one of your childhood friends had… passed away. From all of your research and questioning, you’d managed to find something that seemed to fit: Adolescence Syndrome - a mysterious syndrome that only affects those who enter puberty. Then perhaps…

By the time you returned to your current situation, the two boys were walking away from you. Panicked, and not entirely without ulterior motives, you called out to them.

“Genya-kun!” Where most people would’ve expected the younger boy to turn first, it was actually the white haired boy who turned to face you. It wasn’t a big difference in timing, likely just a second or two, but the look on his face told you more than enough.

“What?” The younger boy was glaring at you now.

“I wanted to ask why you decided to return my student card to me yesterday. You could’ve left it alone - or just given it to Shinazugawa-senpai to give to me for that matter, but you didn’t. I think it was very nice of you to do something like that. You’re a good person.”

The two boys exchanged a look between each other, making you feel oddly self conscious. Finally, the younger boy broke the silence. “Is that all you came here to say?”

“Well no, but-”

“Then we’re leaving.”

As Genya turned around to leave, the older boy quickly grabbed hold of his brother’s sleeve. “Sanemi, you’re being too harsh.” The moment the words left his mouth, the older boy had slapped a hand overtop of his own mouth.

“The two of you…” You started, the two boys turning to face you. “You’re experiencing Adolescence Syndrome, aren’t you?”

A look of confusion formed on the face of both boys, but the younger boy’s expression quickly shifted. “The hell are you talking about?” The young boy suddenly spouted, causing you to reel back in surprise. His expression was complicated. Even so, there was an underlying softness that reminded you of someone else.

You quickly shook the notion away and returned to the issue at hand. “Adolescence Syndrome isn’t really something that you can explain with logic. It’s not even something I understand myself, but can what happened really be explained away by logic? Whatever happened to you two isn’t normal.”

“Is that right?” The younger boy asked sarcastically but you quickly cut him off.

“But I think I know how to help you.”

“Wait, really?” The older boy suddenly piped, “You can make us go back to normal?”

“I can’t guarantee anything, but I want to try to help in any way I can.”

“Why?”

You paused for a moment. Once again, you were brought back to the ever looming question of why. Why help these people when you barely knew them? Why put in so much effort for people who you’ll likely never see again after this day? You turned your eyes to meet the older boy’s gaze. You admired the softness on his face. It was such a stark contrast to what you’d seen yesterday. To be frank, it was different from what either of the boys had shown you yesterday. It was so familiar though. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how you’d feel if someone with such a genuine look ended up dead.

Wouldn’t it make you a bad person if you knew someone was going to die, and let them?

“I guess… if you knew something bad was going to happen to someone, wouldn’t you try to stop it from happening?” A sad smile unconsciously pulled at your lips as you turned your gaze toward the younger boy. “That’s the very reason why you intervened the way you did yesterday, isn’t it, Shinazugawa-senpai? ”

The younger boy opened his mouth to spit a snarky reply, but stopped as he met your gaze. “Whatever…” The boy eventually mumbled. “Just don’t go causing us trouble or anything.”

A tight feeling suddenly enveloped your chest, but you smiled regardless. “Of course! I look forward to helping the two of you!”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Back when you attended high school the ‘first’ time, you were a volunteer at an animal shelter. You had found that aside from studying, it was the best way to bide your time as exams came and went. With that in mind, you understood why Shinazugawa-senpai was mildly familiar. You hadn’t realised it a few days ago, but the older boy had a part time job working for the very same animal shelter you used to (and currently) volunteered for. Then again, you couldn’t really expect yourself to recognize him since… well, he and your time at the shelter didn’t coincide for very long.

In any case, you were going to change that. Not with any ulterior motives obviously! You didn’t think you could handle more people in your life at the moment. Not when their presence in your life would be so uncertain, and especially not people who’re also-

“Umm… (Y/n)-san, would you mind helping me?”

You turned your head towards the newer, meeker version of Sanemi Shinazugawa. As far as the three of you understood, Sanemi and Genya had swapped bodies. There was no obvious rhyme or reason for the swap, but you hoped that by spending time with them you could narrow down the cause of their Adolescence Syndrome, let alone return them to normal.

“Of course, Shinazugawa-senpai.” You replied, glancing at the bags of kibble that still had to be put away. “Just give me a minute.”

The first hour of conversation between the three of you had certainly proven to be the most confusing. There wasn’t an obvious way for you to address one brother or the other. Eventually, having had enough of all the confusion, the three of you agreed on two things: First was that in private, you would address Sanemi and Genya by their first names relative to who they were, and not whose body you were addressing. Neither boy preferred the respect of honorifics over convenience, so that was that. In turn, the boys could call you whatever they deemed fit so long as it wasn’t insulting.

Secondly, out in public you would refer to Genya as Shinazugawa-senpai, and Sanemi as Shinazugawa-kun. While the two boys might not have minded, you thought it best if you referred to the boys how you would on any other day. This way if you saw them again after this whole ordeal, assuming that the switch back would eventually happen, it wouldn’t be weird for you to refer to them as if they were acquaintances.

Despite everything, they would likely remain nothing but acquaintances. For your own safety, it would be better if you didn’t become too familiar with them. You were here to help them, not to make friends.

“(Y/n)-san, please hurry…”

“I’ll be right there!” You called back, tucking the last bag of kibble into the cupboard. You quickly made your way over to Genya. “Okay, what seems to be the-'' The moment you turned the corner, you couldn’t help but grin. Genya, in Sanemi’s body, was being overrun with more animals than he could hold.

“(Y/n)-san, please help me!” Genya pleaded with you, a desperate look in his eyes. You wasted no time in helping the poor boy. The animals seemed a bit sad to be pulled away from the older boy’s form, but Genya seemed heavily relieved. As soon as all of the animals were placed back into their respective pens, Genya wasted no time in letting out a deep sigh.

“It seems that you’re quite popular with the animals in this shelter, Shinazugawa-senpai.”

“No, not me. Animals don’t really like me, they like Sanemi. I just happen to be the one in his body.”

You shook your head. “No, I can tell they like you. They seem more gentle than usual. It must be because they can sense your gentle heart, Shinazugawa-senpai.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do!” You insisted. “You should come back to the shelter when you’re back in your own body. I’m sure the animals would love it.”

“I don’t know. I don’t really think I should.”

“Why not?”

“I umm… I’m not very useful around here. I’m sure I’d only get in the way.”

“Who knows? You just might…” You admitted, poking a finger into a nearby cage. The animal inside approached you slowly before rubbing the top of its head against your finger, making you chuckle. After a moment, you turned your eyes toward the boy. “Even so, I wouldn’t mind helping you out. After all, I really do think that you’re a good person, Genya.”

Genya looked at you and you instinctively smiled. Though the boy initially averted his gaze, he eventually returned your gaze with a soft smile of his own. It looked kind of strange to see Sanemi’s face with such a soft expression, but you were slowly getting used to it.

Unconsciously, the smile on your lips finally reached your eyes.

“You have a really pretty smile, (Y/n)-san.” The boy across from you blurted, taking both of you by surprise. The moment Genya fully processed what he’d said, he began stuttering and panicking in an attempt to relieve himself of his own embarrassment. You were certain that the look on the older boy’s face wasn’t one he’d make on his own, but you could easily imagine Genya’s own face making this kind of expression. At that, you couldn’t help but want to laugh.

“Thank you, Shinazugawa-senpai. I’m certain that smiles don’t look half bad on you either.” You replied, watching as your companion slowly began recomposing himself.

By the time either of you realised it, it was time to head back. It wasn’t much, but you felt like you were beginning to better understand the younger of the Shinazugawa brothers. Talking with Genya had become significantly easier. Admittedly, the fact that Genya wasn’t afraid to talk to you anymore was a big help. You only hoped that things would go this smoothly with the older of the two brothers.

As the two of you continued on your way back to where you’d meet Sanemi (in Genya’s body), you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that had begun building inside you. Regardless, you did your best to suppress the feeling.

“Are you okay, (Y/n)-san?” Genya suddenly asked.

“Of course.” You quickly replied, hoping that the smile on your face would put him at ease. “I think helping out at the shelter has drained away a significant portion of my energy, but I’m certain that I’ll be fine as soon as I get home and sleep.”

“Oh, okay then…” the boy shrugged, “just make sure you don’t forget to eat something before you head to bed, okay?”

“I didn’t think I’d get a lecture from you so soon, Shinazugawa-senpai.” You teased, causing the older boy’s face to erupt in bright pink.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you, (Y/n)-san! It’s just that-” Genya’s apology was quickly cut short by a group of boys who now stood in front of you.

One of the newcomers clicked his tongue in an amused fashion. “Well well, what do we have here?”

“Funny seeing you here, Shinazugawa.” Another of the boys voiced.

You glanced to see what Genya might do in response, only to realise he was in just as much fear as you were - and unfortunately for you two, it wouldn’t take a genius to realise that the ‘Sanemi’ beside you wasn’t a fighter. Genya didn’t know how to exude any of his older brother’s mannerisms, and goodness knows the three of you tried. Not like any of that really mattered since you were outnumbered 4 to 2.

You didn’t want to force Genya’s hand, so you decided to put your big girl pants on.

“It must not be that funny if nobody’s laughing.” You explained bluntly. “Come on, Shinazugawa-senpai. Let’s go.”

“Hold on, leaving so fast?” Another of the boys said, blocking your way past. “You his girlfriend or something?”

You ignored the remarks from the boy, grabbing hold of Genya and pulling him along. You could feel the piercing gaze of all the boys as you pushed your way through the small group, leaving you to comfort yourself with the fact that the sooner you faced them, the faster the two of you could get away.

“You’re gonna walk away just like that, huh?”

“I told you he was all bark and no bite!”

“What a loser.”

All of a sudden, Genya stopped in his tracks. From the look on his face, you could tell something unsavoury would happen if you didn’t intervene.

“Don’t listen to them, Shinazugawa-senpai. They’re just trying to get under your skin.”

“On the contrary.” One of the boys jeered, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away from Genya. “Why would I wanna get under this loser’s skin when I would much rather… get on top of someone else?” The boy leaned down to whisper. His breath sent all kinds of alarms off in your head, making you reel back and shove the creep away.

He ended up stumbling backwards and landing on his back, making two of the other boys laugh. Now irritated, the creep stood up and raised his hand to strike you.

You shut your eyes, but the blow never came.

Any relief you felt quickly disappeared when you opened your eyes. Though you had hoped that Genya would be the one standing in front of you, he wasn’t. No, the one who stood in front of you was another of the delinquents. The air around him was significantly different from the other three. It made the terror you’d felt before pale in comparison.

“Were you really just gonna stand there and do nothing?” This fourth boy, someone you could only assume was the leader of this little delinquent squad, quipped. The way his eyes looked straight through you sent chills throughout your entire body.

You opened your mouth to reply but no words formed. Everything you might’ve wanted to say was caught in the deepest part of your chest.

“It’s pitiful to simply watch, Shinazugawa.” The boy continued, his cold eyes now trained on who he thought was Sanemi Shinazugawa. “Cowards like you piss me off the most. You and this harlot aren’t even worth our time.”

As the group of boys began walking away, you could sense unrest stirring inside of Genya.

You grabbed onto the boy’s sleeve and tugged lightly. “Come on, Shinazugawa-senpai. I don’t want to get into deeper trouble.” You could still hear the group of boys making fun of yourself and Sanemi as they walked away, and you were certain Genya could hear them too.

“Take it back.” Genya muttered.

One of the boys, the creep in particular, turned around with a smug grin. “What was that, shitty-gawa?”

“I said to take it back!” Genya huffed. “All that shit you said about (Y/n)-san and Sa- me. Take it back.”

“And what’re you gonna do if we don’t? Cry about it?”

“You-!”

“What? You tryna say that you’re more than a useless coward?” The leader of the boys laughed. “Fine by me. If you wanna prove you’re not all bark so badly, you can meet us by that shitty bar tonight. You know the one. I’m sure you and your baby of a brother have been there on more than one occasion.”

The small group of boys walked somewhere further into the city and out of sight. To be honest, you felt a great weight fall off your chest the moment the boys were out of sight. When you turned back to face Genya, you couldn’t help but notice the look in his eyes.

A pang of sadness etched at your heart, but you shook it away. “Shinazugawa-senpai? Hey, are you okay? Can you hear me?” You spoke gently, trying to call the boy back to reality. “Genya?”

The boy finally directed his gaze towards you, but kept his mouth shut.

It really was such a sad expression.

Finally, you breathed a sigh. “Come on then, let’s go.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The walk to your designated meeting spot was, for the most part, a quiet one. You’d tried to strike up a few small conversations, but it seemed that all of the ease of conversation had disappeared without a trace. You never liked forcing conversation, but you kept trying regardless. If you didn’t it would be as if you were admitting that some part of you didn’t mind the distance. Admitting something like that probably made you a bad person, right?

“Navigation complete. You are now at your destination.”

You breathed a sigh of relief and closed your navigation app. When you looked up from your phone, you were surprised to be standing in front of a Kendo studio. You hadn’t taken Genya as someone who partook in many physical activities, but you also wouldn’t take Sanemi to be the kind of person who worked part time at an animal shelter. In other words, you would have to keep more of an open mind for these kinds of things.

“Should we wait outside for Sanemi or should we go inside?” You asked.

Genya shrugged. “They’ll probably be a little while longer, so we should head inside.”

You nodded and the two of you promptly went inside.

The studio was nothing too large. There was a reception desk to the left of the door that served as the main barrier between the lobby and the main area. Looking past the desk, you could make out about a dozen or so people in the room. Of the people there, the only one you could recognize was Genya - well, Sanemi in Genya’s body, anyway.

You weren’t particularly familiar with kendo, but you could tell that Sanemi was good. Each of his actions appeared to naturally flow into the next. There was barely any wasted motion or any missed beats. Above all else, there was passion.

You’ve always been aware that being good or talented at something can only bring a person so far. It was clear that Sanemi was skilled, talented even, but there was also passion. It sparked a sort of effort that not every person has the chance of experiencing in their life, and it was something you suddenly found yourself admiring about the older boy.

As you turned to face your companion, you couldn’t ignore the look on his face. You thought it looked familiar, but why?

Suddenly, Genya turned and looked straight at you. “(Y/n)-san, I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Before you could ask if he was okay the boy quickly scurried off in some unknown direction of the studio.

You felt a little sheepish by the fact that you had been caught staring, but you didn’t think that Genya would hold it against you. He was such a kind boy, after all.

A deep fear suddenly pulled at your stomach as the thoughts of the Shinazugawa death taunted you. Now that you really thought about it, you wondered if the boy’s death was related to the body swap that had occurred. Could it have been Genya’s consciousness that died in Sanemi’s body that night? Would getting them to swap back be the only way to prevent Sanemi, no, Genya’s death? But how would you even go about doing something like that? And how would you even know for sure if-

“Hey.”

You yelped as the newcomer tapped your shoulder. You could feel your face beginning to warm when you turned around and came face to face with Sanemi (in Genya’s body). “Oh, sorry Shinazugawa-kun. I wasn’t expecting you to approach me so suddenly.”

“I thought it was pretty obvious that I was heading your way.”

“Was it really that obvious though?”

Sanemi gave you a skepitical look but didn’t question you about it further. “Whatever weirdo.”

“I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t call me by any insulting names.” You frowned.

“Being weird ain’t an insult.”

“Well I don’t particularly see it as a compliment. Especially when it’s from someone I hardly know.” You watched as Sanemi shrugged off your comment. You weren’t sure whether you should be insulted or not.

As you were thinking of something witty to reply in response to Sanemi’s indifference, one of the boys who’d been training alongside Sanemi walked over to the two of you. “Wow Genya-kun!” The newcomer smiled. “You were really good today! Have you started doing something new between this class and the previous one?”

Sanemi, in the younger boy’s body of course, shrugged. “Nope.”

“Really? It almost felt like you were an entirely new person today! Are you sure nothing’s changed?”

“Yup.”

“Oh, I see…” The newcomer looked between you and your companion. His gaze was rather curious but the boy kept any questions he might have had to himself as he walked away.

“He’s not wrong, you know.” You stated.

“About being a different person? Yeah, no shit.”

“Well yes, there’s that, but I was thinking more along the lines of ‘you were really good today’ and whatnot.”

Sanemi scoffed. “You don’t gotta patronize me.”

“I’m serious. I don’t know very much about kendo, but even I can tell at a glance that you’re good.” You smiled. For the first time, Sanemi let the young boy’s face shift from his usual scowl to something softer. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping my bounds, but it seems like you’re passionate about kendo. Why haven’t you joined the club at our school?”

An irritated look suddenly spread across the younger boy’s face. “Cause I have a job, obviously. Unlike you and my brother, I don’t have that kind of time.”

“I’m sure that the boss would let your schedule be a bit more flexible since-”

“I already told you, I can’t. Just leave it at that.”

“Oh…” You mumbled awkwardly. “Apologies for prying.”

The two of you stood absorbed in a tense atmosphere for a moment. You questioned your resolve to help these two boys for a moment, but questioning your resolve immediately made you feel worse than the atmosphere did. How could you even be so selfish with someone else’s life on the line?

You could feel the words in your throat beginning to stop in their tracks. There wasn’t even a reason why you should be feeling this way! You really hated this feeling. You really wished that you were stronger, like him.

Something about your expression must’ve given your true feelings away because as soon as Sanemi saw your face, there was a change in his demeanour. “Look, I didn’t mean it to sound like I was telling you to shut it or anything, so don’t look so sad. My situation’s just… fucked up.”

“Sorry…”

“And stop apologizing so much. You’re starting to sound like my brother.”

“Sorry.” You replied. Sanemi gave you a look, but it wasn’t nearly as menacing as before. “Hey, anytime anyone tells someone else to stop apologizing, they immediately apologize. Besides, is a genuine apology such a bad thing?”

“Course not, but apologies don’t stop people from getting hurt.”

You gave Sanemi a curious look. “Is that supposed to comfort me?”

“Well I’m not trying to threaten you or nothing but speaking from experience, apologies don’t mean shit if the other person is just looking for a fight.”

“Are you speaking from experience, Sanemi?” You asked, genuinely concerned. The young boy’s face became tinted as though he’d said more than he meant to. Or perhaps he reacted that way because of something else? You weren’t sure because the boy quickly started steering the conversation in a different direction.

“Look, this isn’t the kind of place I wanna say that kinda stuff. Let’s just get out of here. Where’s Genya?”

“Oh, Shinazugawa-senpai is…”

“Sorry I took so long, but I’m ready to go if you two are.” Announced Genya as he reappeared.

“What the hell took you so long?”

Genya winced at his brother’s sudden tone. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised by his sudden shift in tone as well. “Sorry… I just wasn’t feeling that well.”

“You’ve been in my body for less than a day and you’re already getting sick? You’re hopeless.” Genya opened his mouth to reply but Sanemi cut him off. “Whatever. Let’s just go home already.”

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Sanemi had basically marched out of the kendo studio which left you and Genya to chase after him. A few short exchanges later, you were walking in stride with Genya while Sanemi walked ahead of you both. You did your best to spark some idle chit-chat between the two brothers, but nothing was really working. Most topics ended with Genya giving a curt reply or with Sanemi saying something a bit sharp to Genya. Either way, it wasn’t going well.

You let out a sigh. It’s not like you were an expert with this ‘Adolescent Syndrome’ thing. To be honest, you hadn’t even believed such a thing really existed until recently. No matter how much you wanted to help these boys, that didn’t mean that you could.

You examined the features of the boy who walked beside you - Genya in Sanemi’s body. His gaze was trained on the ground as the two of you advanced. Deep in thought, perhaps? It seemed like Genya did that quite often. Actually, it wasn’t all that different from how you were; perhaps how you still are, even.

“How much further till we reach your house?” Sanemi suddenly asked.

You looked at him inquisitively. “Why? Trying to stalk me or something?”

“Course not.” The boy snapped. “I’m just tryna make sure you get home safely.”

“You don’t have to worry about me too much, Sanemi. I’m a big girl. I can get home on my own.”

“This area of town ain’t what I’d call safe for a girl like you. If you’re really that scared about us knowing where you live then we’ll walk you to the school. At least the people over there give a shit if there’s a ruckus.”

“Well, it is starting to get dark outside. I suppose I wouldn’t mind the company.” You admitted, smiling. “Still, won’t your parents worry about you two if you aren’t home at a reasonable time?”

“Probably not.” Sanemi shrugged. “The only one who gets on our case is Sumi.”

“Sumi?”

“Our younger sister.” Replied Genya.

You turned your gaze to the boy walking beside you. “There’s more than just the two of you?”

“There’s seven in total including the two of us here, actually.”

“Woah. That sounds… really nice.” You stood staring at Sanemi’s face with wide eyes. Although the boy’s expression was initially one of confusion, unsure of how to interpret your reaction, it shifted to something softer upon hearing your words.

“It probably sounds nicer than it actually is.” Genya replied, now averting his gaze. You couldn’t help but admire the soft look in his (though technically Sanemi’s) eyes. “There’s barely ever a peaceful moment in the house! At least one of our siblings will be screaming for me or Sanemi at any moment of the day. It gets pretty tiring, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”

“Quite a family boy, huh Genya?” You teased, earning a flushed look from the boy. “It’s admirable how much you care about them - how much you both care about them.”

“You think so?”

“Of course!”

“Less talking, more walking.” Muttered Sanemi from in front of you. “We’re never gonna make it back at this rate.”

“Please, you’re as much of a family boy as your brother, Sanemi. You just don’t like showing it.”

Sanemi turned around and shot you a stern look. “What would you know about me?”

Though you opened your mouth to reply, the words refused to leave your chest. As much as you wished you hadn’t noticed, and you really wished you hadn’t noticed, a certain group of boys happened to be loitering in the alley that you’d just passed. You could tell by the way the older boy’s body tensed that Genya had noticed them too. You just had to hope that they hadn’t noticed you.

But of course, fate wasn’t that kind.

“Yo! Chicken boy! Where do you think you’re going?”

All three of you stopped in your tracks. For a moment, the world stood still. Should you run? That would be the safest option, right? Someone like you probably wouldn’t stand a chance in a street fight, but what about the other two? Would they stay? If that was the case, shouldn’t you stay too? You already knew the ending to this story, so wouldn’t it be foolish of you to run at such a moment?

Footsteps approached your little trio. You had to fight the urge to flee. Survival is a natural human instinct, after all.

“Look what we have here!” A newcomer, the creep from earlier, turned the corner and examined you all. “It’s Mister Talentless and his coward of a brother. And you even brought your girlfriend along… perfect!”

“She’s not my- his girlfriend!” Sanemi snapped. “Why don’t you fuck off before something bad happens to you?”

The creep turned his gaze over to Genya (in Sanemi’s body). “First you let your girlfriend talk for you and now your younger brother? How you’ve fallen, Sanemi. I bet you weren’t even planning on defending your honour. How pathetic.”

Sanemi suddenly turned to you and Genya. “The hell’s he talking about?”

A fierce silence suddenly enveloped the air. Your chest became stiff and you felt like you were going to suffocate under the young boy’s gaze. You looked to Genya for an explanation but he looked just as nervous as you were.

“We umm…” You took a deep breath but it didn’t calm your nerves. “We ran into a bit of trouble on our way to the studio.” You finally admitted.

“A bit of trouble? I thought we were just having fun!” The creep jeered. “You see, Mister Talentless, your cowardly older brother wouldn’t even protect his own girlfriend. He was just going to watch her get hurt. Then again, I guess that’s better than hurting her himself, ya know?”

The look on both of the boy’s faces left you in confusion. It was obviously an insult, but even you could tell that you were missing some context here. The creep on the other hand, grinned. He’d managed to strike quite the chord. Seemingly satisfied with the amount of misery he’d caused, the creep turned and began heading in the direction he’d come from. Just before he turned the corner though, he spat one final remark. “It’s no wonder you two are brothers - you both share your father’s nasty blood.”

The wordless look on the younger boy’s face abruptly shifted. Sanemi started marching after the creep but you quickly stopped him.

“Don’t touch me!” Sanemi snapped as he pulled away from your grasp. “There’s no way I’m letting an asshole like him get away with saying shit like that to me. He needs to learn his fucking place already.”

“What about Genya? And the rest of your siblings! They’d be devastated if Genya-”

“This body ain’t gonna die from a few measly punches.”

“That’s not what I was implying, but…” You trailed off. There was no way you were going to be able to talk him out of this. You’ve only really spent about a day’s worth of time with the boys, but that was more than enough time to realise just how serious Sanemi was about this. You could feel your stomach turning as you watched Sanemi march after the creep. You couldn’t get the thought of the Shinazugawa death out of your head.

Because of confidentiality, the true identity of the body hadn’t been released to the public. You never saw Sanemi at school after the death, but you also never went to their funeral. Why would you? You didn’t know them back then. Still, who was to say that Sanemi was the one that died? Could it have been Genya’s body (and Sanemi’s consciousness) that had been lost during your previous ‘today?’

Was Sanemi fated to die tonight?

Why did it matter whose body and whose mind died? If someone was going to get hurt - if someone was going to die - you should do your best to make sure that it doesn’t happen! That’s the kind of thing that’s expected from good people, right?

“Genya, please help me talk Sanemi out of this!” You looked at Genya with expecting eyes only to be met with nothing. You couldn’t make out a single thought Genya might’ve had because the older boy’s face hid everything. It’s not like Genya was a super expressive boy, but his current lack of clear emotion made you feel uneasy.

Genya muttered something that you couldn’t understand. He took a step toward you, but his eyes weren’t looking at you at all. “Please go home, (Y/n)-san.”

“What?” You stammered. “But what about you and Sanemi?”

“I don’t think Sanemi would be happy with me if I let you chase after him here, but I’d never be able to live with myself if I made Sanemi deal with any more of my problems. He doesn’t deserve a brother like that.”

“But even so I-”

“Please (Y/n)-san.”

“No.” You said firmly. “Why would I ever leave someone to get hurt if I know something bad will happen to them? People like us don’t do that kind of thing. You know that already, don’t you Genya? If you’re worried about me getting hurt then… well, don’t. I promise I’ll stay out of harm’s way, but I’m staying.”

Metal clanging came from the alley you’d seen Sanemi and the creep disappear into. Despite all of his hesitancy, Genya let you follow after him as he dashed toward the noise.

As you ran deeper into the alley, you saw that two of the four boys from earlier were already laying on the ground. They were extremely roughed up. Sanemi had managed to do all this in that short amount of time? Where even was Sanemi?

A little bit away from them, you noticed Genya’s body on the floor. The creep from earlier was standing over the young boy’s body and was kicking him in the gut. He was laughing and mocking the boy, clearly unaware that the one he was mocking wasn’t who he thought it was. Although you had stopped in your tracks at the sight, Genya had kept running toward the boy. Just when the creep realised Genya was running toward him, Genya struck him across his face and sent him tumbling onto the ground.

“That was a real cheap shot, you fucking coward.” The creep spat.

Genya ignored the creep as he pulled his brother up to his feet. Sanemi didn’t look pleased in the slightest to be seeing his brother, but you also thought he didn’t look mad.

“I’m surprised you showed up, Sanemi.” The leader taunted from behind the creep. The very sound of the leader’s voice made your body stiffen. “I thought you were just gonna high tail it outta here like the coward you are, but you didn’t. I’d say that you’re almost worth respecting. Almost. Your face still pisses me off.”

As the creep moved to stand up, the leader of the little delinquent gang stood in front of him. Your eyes locked with the leader’s own for a brief moment. In that brief moment alone, it felt like his entire presence was suffocating you.

“Those are some strong words from someone with such an ugly face.” Sanemi spat.

“Not everyone gets to be blessed with a strong figure like you, Mister Talentless. Still, my hideous face is also a blessing.��

“Nothing about you is a blessing. You’re nothing but a fucking curse.”

“You might be right about that!” The leader’s laugh was a sickening sound. Still, he held himself with pride and grinned at the two boys. “But at least I’m not a coward. Not like your ‘dear older brother’, or like your drunkard father. Better hope you don’t turn into him someday.”

Genya clenched his fists and muttered something.

“What was that, you coward?”

“I told you to get lost already!” Genya finally exploded, lunging toward the leader with clenched fists.

The leader quickly dodged under the boy’s fist and landed a blow directly in the boy’s gut. Genya paused for a moment, but he very quickly turned around and attempted to hit the leader again. The leader managed to move just around the boy’s fist only to get clocked by Sanemi. Where you thought you’d see frustration, the leader of the delinquents only grinned.

“Weak. Did those kicks really sap that much strength outta you?” The leader then struck a blow across Sanemi’s (in Genya’s body) face. “That’s what you call a punch.”

“I was just holding back for your sake, dumbass.” Provoked, Sanemi cracked his fingers. “But if that’s how you wanna be, I’ll gladly beat your skull in.”

“Don’t!” Genya suddenly shouted. “This isn’t your fight, Genya.”

“Looks like the coward is finally gaining some courage.” The leader snarked. “Well then, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Anything Sanemi might’ve wanted to say to Genya, he didn’t. Instead, he was left to watch the fight without interfering. It’s not like he didn’t believe in Genya, but this was his brother. If anyone knew his brother’s limitations, it was Sanemi. Still, Sanemi couldn’t deny that his entire body was heavy. That bastard was right; his punches had gotten pathetic.

The older boy, stuck in his younger brother’s body, was reduced to a spectator.

Every part of his, well, Genya’s body, wanted him to step in. He wasn’t the type to let others fight his battles! But he had to remind himself that this was his battle. This was Genya’s fight as much as it was his own, and he should respect that.

Still, with every passing moment and every blow exchanged, Sanemi was becoming more and more restless. If this went on any longer, someone would surely-

“Sanemi!”

A hand, your hand, pushed the boy and caused him to stumble forward. As Sanemi turned around to tell you off, he saw that you were trembling. All of the information came flooding to him at once.

The troublemaker from earlier standing in front of you with a small shiv in his hand.

The police sirens approaching from the distance.

The rapid scrambling of the four other boys.

His own voice ringing in his ears.

The blood that dripped from your hand that held onto his own.

Everything was such a blur, but one fact rang clearly in his mind: just then, he’d almost died.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Three years ago, before ‘yesterday’ suddenly became ‘tomorrow,’ you read the headline of an article depicting a tragic death.

Young Boy Found Dead Due To Stab Wound: Another Shinazugawa! Tragedy Or Fate?

The recollection of that article that you’d read the ‘first time’ around made you feel sick. It was clear to you now that the boy who’d died back then wasn’t just Genya, but Sanemi who was inside of Genya’s body. Still, how could they have posted such a tasteless article back then? You were glad this wouldn’t be the case this time around, but still, after everything that happened, you began to recall what the article detailed.

The reason why the article was passed for publishing was because no information aside from Genya’s death was revealed. In fact, the article mostly detailed the death of their father: someone the article called a perpetually drunken scumbag. It wasn’t much, but it started to shed some light about why and how this case of Adolescence Syndrome came to be - but knowing how it happened and fixing it were two very different things.

Adolescence Syndrome only causes strange and abnormal things to happen, but that doesn’t mean that it stops bad things from happening. If anything, it made situations go from bad to worse.

You turned off the stove and grabbed three bowls from the cabinet. You subconsciously placed your hand onto the counter as you placed the bowls down, causing you to jerk away from the countertop. You were glad that you stopped the knife with your non-dominant hand, but that didn’t make the pain any better. If only you’d been a bit faster, you could’ve grabbed the attacker’s wrist and not the knife itself.

You made a mental note to get the wound checked out as soon as possible, but you’d have to let your parents know so that they could fill out the paperwork. You really hated inconveniencing them, but this was probably just the consequence of your own actions.

You sighed deeply, pushing all of your current worries aside and focusing on the task at hand.

While you’d initially tried to grab all three bowls of congee at once, your wound quickly made it obvious that you wouldn’t be able to do that. Instead, you took one bowl and headed off in the direction where Genya had decided to tend to his wounds.

You knocked on the door lightly before letting yourself in.

“You haven’t fallen asleep, have you?” You asked as you entered the room. Genya was holding an ice pack against the side of his face (technically Sanemi’s face) to prevent swelling, but seemed okay otherwise. You slowly approached the boy and set the bowl of food down beside him. “I made some congee, so please eat it. I’d be sad if all my hard work went to waste.”

Genya gave you a small nod but didn’t make any attempts to say anything. In fact, he hasn’t said a word since coming to this room.

The first thing either of the boys did when you arrived was help tend to your wound. As luck would have it, you and Genya were both properly educated about first aid. Sanemi wasn’t completely unaware of what to do either, but his first aid was something you’d describe as street knowledge versus something you’d learn from a class.

After the wound was addressed, you had changed and washed your clothes in the sink in an attempt to prevent any blood from staining, but you lamented the loss of one of your favourite shirts regardless. Apparently while that was happening, Sanemi and Genya ended up having a pretty major argument. About what, you weren’t sure.

“You’re not hiding any major injuries, right Genya?” Again, no response. This time, you took a seat beside the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Genya?”

You felt the young boy jump underneath your touch for a moment, but he quickly composed himself again. “S-sorry (Y/n)-san… I promise I’m not mad at you or ignoring you. I just think that right now… I think I need to be alone for a little bit. I won’t take too long though, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You shook your head. “Not at all! I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You repeated. “Because you’re a good person, Genya. Considering everything that could’ve happened and comparing it to what did happen, I’d say you’re doing just fine.”

“But you got hurt!”

“So did you.”

“But it’s my fault that you-”

“I don’t think that anyone in this house is completely at fault for what happened today. There will always be ifs and what ifs about situations like this, but what’s important is that we learn from the things that have happened and keep moving on with our lives.”

Genya smiled softly for a moment, but the smile dropped from his lips just as quickly. “Do you think that Sanemi hates me now?”

This time it was your turn to flash the boy a smile. “I don’t think Sanemi could ever hate you.”

Just as quickly as you entered, you left Genya to his own devices. You paused as you reached for the door, but it was only for a moment.

As you once again entered the kitchen, you noticed that Sanemi had moved from his place in the living room and was now leaning against one of the kitchen counters. You wanted to laugh at how not slick he was, but decided to keep it to yourself.

“Feel free to have some congee. I’m not the greatest cook in the world, but I’ve been told that my congee could revive the dead.” You laughed to yourself as you took a bowl. “Well, it was either that or that my congee could kill a small rodent. Depends if you ask my mother or my father.”

“Where are your mom and dad?”

“They’re overseas.” You replied, keeping your eyes trained on your bowl of food. “My mom and dad are trying to expand their business together, but they felt that in order to make significant progress they’d have to work abroad. I could have went with them, of course, but I’m not a big fan of change.”

“How long have you been going at it alone?”

“Ever since I was about… ten? I guess that means it’s been a pretty long time, but it’s not like I never see them. They visit home at least once every two months.” You admitted. “Now what about you? What’s your parental situation at home like?”

You could hear Sanemi scoff, but when you looked up you were surprised to see him smiling. “You’re clever, I’ll give you that, but you’re also pretty stupid.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to a girl.”

“Look, it’s not that different from what that asshold said back in the alley. My dad’s a deadbeat and my mom works real damn hard to make sure food gets on the table every day. What more is there?”

“What more are you willing to tell me?”

Sanemi took a deep breath, letting the muscles in the young boy’s face relax. “To be honest, my old man’s a real shit show. About two years ago he went out to a bar and got into some deep shit. He ended up pissing off some real shady people and got himself killed. The dumbass couldn’t even go without making trouble for us, cause not even two days later those douchebags came round tellin us that we owed them money. Apparently our dad owed them a steep amount of cash. We were able to pay em back, but it took everything that our mom had saved up.”

“So you took a job to help make ends meet?” You inquired.

“Well yeah, obviously. I don’t give a shit about what happens to me, but the rest of my family? All of them have a bright future ahead, as long as I keep helping to support them. I don’t want my mom or my siblings worrying about me - especially not Genya. I feel like if they knew the kind of shit I got into, I’d only be making trouble for ‘em.”

“Who’s to say for sure? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that Genya looks up to you.”

“Yeah, and that’s the issue.” Sanemi admitted. “I see way too much of my old man in me to be a good role model. If push comes to shove and I end up the kind of scumbag he was, I don’t want my family to feel bad about telling me off.”

“No offence Sanemi, but you’re seriously delusional.”

Sanemi looked at you with wide eyes. Your tone was pretty harsh, but the look on your face was kind. It was such a stark contrast that the boy was left speechless.

“You talk as if turning into your father is inevitable. Personally, I disagree with that notion wholeheartedly since reality is not always cut and dry. Sure, you’re stubborn and hot headed, but that doesn’t make you a bad person - and certainly nothing like what you’ve told me your father is like. Without a shadow of a doubt, Sanemi, I believe that you’re a good person. Better yet, I believe that you are someone worth admiring. It’s not even my word you have to take for it, right Genya?”

You turned your head toward the hall and Sanemi’s gaze naturally followed. A moment later, Genya turned the corner.

“Is that true, Sanemi? Are you really that scared of turning out like dad?”

“Course I am! Our old man was nothing but a drunkard. I sure as hell don’t wanna end up like that piece of shit.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re anything like dad was.” Genya admitted. “You’re strong, smart, naturally gifted at kendo and really good with animals! Nothing about you makes me think you’re like dad at all! If anything, you’re so amazing that I constantly wish that I could be more like you…”

“Don’t lie to me, Genya.”

“I would never lie about something like that!” The young boy reassured. “I wished to be like you so much that I literally became you. Shouldn’t that be enough proof for you?”

Wordlessly, Sanemi walked over to Genya. There was a moment in which Genya looked unsure of what was about to happen, but you didn’t worry. In fact, you weren’t even surprised when Sanemi leaned over and pulled Genya into an embrace.

“You really wanted to be like me that badly?” Sanemi scoffed. “You’re so fucking stupid sometimes.”

“I know.”

“But I love you anyway.”

“I know. I love you too.”

══════════════════

Epilogue

Admiration and jealousy - two emotions that are awfully different yet a little too similar. To admire someone is to regard another as worthy of respect due to their achievements and advantages. Jealousy is to envy someone for the very same achievements and advantages we admire. Hence is the reason why admiration and jealousy can so easily be mistaken for one another; especially in regard to someone we deem better than ourselves.

What is the turning point in which admiration turns to jealousy?

If someone could change themselves to be more akin to the person they admire, wouldn’t they?

Is it, after all, such a horrible thing to want to be like the person we admire? If jealousy is just a single misstep away from adoration, how can we be certain about which emotion we truly feel?

“Shinazugawa-senpai! I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Don’t give me that crap, (Y/n). You know damn well I was invited to be here before you were.”

“Are you sure about that? Sometimes I think that Genya is becoming more fond of me than he is of you. Before either of us knows it, he might swap bodies with me.”

“Ugh. Don’t even joke about that shit. It was so…”

“Stressful?” You smiled teasingly. “Yes, I agree. Adolescence Syndrome is certainly something to be reckoned with.” Both you and Sanemi turned toward the center stage. The kendo exhibition would likely be starting soon. Still, a little small talk never hurt anyone.

“How have you been spending your time now that you’re no longer volunteering at the shelter?” Wondered Sanemi.

“Don’t tell me… does my senpai actually miss seeing me at work?”

“Shut up! And stop calling me your senpai! Just call me by my name.”

“You want me to keep calling you Shinazugawa-senpai?”

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I though?” The boy gave you a certain look and you laughed. “Okay, okay. Are you happy now, Sanemi?”

At your response, Sanemi rolled his eyes. The older boy could feel warmth beginning to gather in his cheeks, and he also noticed you staring at him. He knew if he teased you about staring you’d tease him right back, so he didn’t. In fact, those kinds of remarks weren’t usually his thing at all, but he always ends up saying way more than he means to when you’re around.

“In other news, I’m surprised that none of your other siblings came along today.”

“No way. Sumi begged me to bring her along, but she also keeps asking me when you’ll become her sister-in-law and I can only handle that kind of harassment for so long.”

“I think she’s charming.”

“That makes one of us…” Both you and Sanemi shared a short laugh. It wasn’t much, but Sanemi decided that he liked the way you laughed. “By the way, (Y/n)... are you free today?”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Just answer my question.”

You stifled a laugh before replying to the older boy. “Sorry, but unfortunately I’m not. I have a few errands to run and it looks like the weather might not hold out for too much longer. Apparently a pretty hefty storm is headed this way. There’s no way I wouldn’t want to be prepared for something like that, you know?”

“Oh right… of course.”

“Is something the matter, Sanemi?”

“No, course not! It’s nothing that you need to worry your pretty little head about.”

“Oh, so you think I’m pretty now?”

When Sanemi opened his mouth to reply, he couldn’t bring himself to tell the truth or to lie. Instead, he scoffed and let you have the satisfaction of catching him off guard.

As you and Sanemi continued to make small talk, the male couldn’t help but smile. He enjoyed watching the way you would talk with your hands when you fell deep into the conversation, and the way your eyes expressed your emotions so honestly. Even if the honesty in your eyes gave away your true feelings, Sanemi still loved talking to you. Hell, he enjoyed being around you in general, but he doubted that he’d ever tell you something as embarrassing as that.

Besides, he believed it’d be best that a guy like him admire a girl like you from afar.