#hate when you try to do the recommended thing and it doesn't even work. dreadful.

[scribefindegil]

Tried to be a good sewist and change my sewing machine needle so I'd have a nice fresh one to work on this finicky fabric but now my machine is throwing a fit and sewing much worse than she did with the dull needle :( This is not encouraging me to develop good habits.

[unforth]

Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.

In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:

1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.

2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.

3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.

4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)

5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.

6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.

I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.

How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.

1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.

2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs

3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.

4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.

Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.

At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

[bogunicorn]

Inquisition companion coffee orders and how they'd be at a coffee shop, based on the less than a year I spent working at fake starbucks many years ago. In a different order than my last post, just for the hell of it. Some of these are based on real customers that I still remember. I wrote this at 5am when I was high and unable to sleep so keep that in mind if you think I'm wrong. I'm not wrong but you should keep it in mind. H'kay let's go

Josephine: large americano, extra shots, cream and sugar and sometimes a shot of a seasonal flavor if it's a special day. She comes in twice a day, she tips, and the baristas are all trying to figure out how she hasn't had a heart attack yet from having that much caffeine every day. Staff knows her name and likes her.

Dorian: Iced white chocolate mocha. It's the only thing he gets. He will not drink it hot. He will not try a different flavor. He shows up in the morning and orders two, one with ice and one without, and be puts the one without ice in the fridge to drink later. Staff knows him on sight, but they make him state his order every day as if they don't because he doesn't tip.

Varric: regular brewed coffee, but he likes to hang out at the cafe, work on his books, meet with people, etc. He's really nice, he over tips, and sometimes the staff "forgets" to charge him for a refill. He also orders whatever food they're running out of because he figures that means it's popular and therefore good.

Solas: Decaf brewed coffee, and then he puts a disgusting amount of sugar and cream into it. He actually hates coffee and refuses to drink caffeine, but he doesn't come for the drinks, he comes to people watch and do life drawings. He needs the coffee so he has a purchase that can reasonably last him hours before he's expected to spend more money, and hot coffee won't leave condensation on the table and get his paper wet. Staff knows him and their advice to each other is not to ask him questions because he will answer you, at length, in great detail, if it's something he knows about. But he occasionally just puts a couple 20s in the tip jar, so they've decided he's cool but kind of a weird nerd.

Blackwall: Seems like he'd be a "just a NORMAL COFFEE" kind of guy, but he's actually one of the staff's favorite customers. He's some kind of blue collar worker who comes in on the way to work and on the way home, and he gets the same thing every day: regular hot latte in the morning, decaf hot latte at night. He's always there at rush times, but he's polite and he tips even when service is crowded and messy. The baristas start making his coffee when we walks in the door if they notice him, so he rarely has to wait, but he seems flattered and grateful every time.

Sera: Her order is different every time she comes in and it's always something all fucked up and weird. Half the time she just shows them a screenshot on her phone of some complicated meme recipe from TikTok, or she wants whatever technicolor monstrosity frappuccino that's on special. The staff dreads her order, but she also has a habit of getting belligerent with customers who give the staff a hard time, so they're pretty sure Sera is like a part time security guard who demands meme drinks in payment. They're allowed to complain about her if they want, but they'll malicious compliance the fuck out or anyone else who does.

Iron Bull: He doesn't have a single go-to order, but he's nice and likes to ask the staff for recommendations if it's not too busy and lets them test new recipes on him. He always tries the seasonal flavors at least once. Sometimes he comes in with a group of friends who look like trouble on first glance, but Bull pays for them all at once, doesn't let them order blended drinks, and always makes sure they clean up after themselves, so it's okay.

Cullen: Just a NORMAL COFFEE. He's totally overwhelmed by the amount of choices, but this is the closest place to his office and getting out to buy coffee is his excuse to take a break and stretch his legs. The staff knows him and actually responds to "just a normal coffew" because it's too much trouble to interrogate him about which roast or what size cup, because last time he said, "I don't know, something dark? Whatever has the most caffeine in just a regular size to go cup." He's been drinking a medium blonde roast for years and still doesn't know what blonde roast is, save that he thinks he doesn't like it.

Leliana: Two shots of espresso over ice. Leliana had shit to do and she needs that caffeine in her body as fast as possible. The ice is there to keep her from burning her mouth off. She drinks it like it's whiskey and throws out her cup without even breaking stride.

Cole: Year round pumpkin spiced latte. If they're out of the syrup, he gets the cheapest thing on the menu, no add ins, and then doesn't drink it. He rarely comes in on his own; Cole is usually there with a friend and is aware that it's rude to be there without buying, but the pumpkin spice is the only thing he actually likes. He's polite but he creeps out the other customers with his thousand yard stare.

Cassandra: London Fog, but she never remembers what it's called. She drinks it because she wasn't sure and someone recommended it, but the name just will not stick in her head. She orders it as "hot Earl Grey tea with milk", she listens every time they say "okay, so a London Fog", but by the next time she's in she's forgotten. It's not really a big deal, though, she seems pretty overworked. At this point the staff would be sad if she did remember, honestly.

Vivienne: "The Usual". Literally only one barista knows her order, because it's some customized thing that that specific barista made for her once ages ago. Viv knows what's it in but she will not tell you because she doesn't trust anyone but that one barista to make it. If her regular person isn't around, she just gets a hot latte with sugar free vanilla. That one barista also won't tell you what's in it, but that's because Vivienne tips them directly instead of in the jar and they don't want to ruin a good thing.

**also if you like this and think "i'm gonna give this fine person a follow because they're so funny about dragon age", i made a new DA sideblog at @skyholdstarbucks where i'd post anything similar to this in the future

[notmorbid]

grey dog.

dialogue prompts from grey dog by elliott gish.

to my future self: my apologies, and godspeed.

i do not travel well, at the best of times.

i was raised in a small town. they suit me very well.

let's get a bit of supper in you.

happiness is an act of will.

there are two gods: the god of inside, and the god of outside.

who are you?

you frightened me. i thought i was alone.

you're never alone out here.

more hands make less work.

every day it gets better. you just mind that.

i feel wrung out as an old rag.

the fiercest tigers make the best mothers.

what a mess i've made of you.

i was about to put the kettle on.

i like you as you are.

rumors fly faster and further than the truth.

you deserve a chance to let your hair down.

certain things are not to be discussed.

is there anything more tiresome than a sunday school picnic?

there's no such thing as witches.

i thought it would be a dreadful trial, but you made it easy.

you are a perfect strawberry.

it will get worse before it gets better.

every town needs its witch, doesn't it? someone to whisper about in the dark?

i thought of ___ as a friend.

a young girl's reputation is as fragile as ice on a water bucket.

i don't want you to be alone in the dark.

i'm glad you came here.

you're the last thing i expected to find here.

a child may know that there are no monsters under the bed, but he will take a running leap onto the mattress, anyway. just in case.

nothing occurs in the natural world that cannot be understood through patient observation.

you can always follow me out of the dark.

if i am to drink hemlock, then let it be in good company.

you're going to run out of exclamation points, if you don't use them more sparingly.

don't you quote scripture at me.

did you think i materialized fully formed in this house?

i have a past, just as you do. just as everyone does.

widowhood has much to recommend it.

you must be going mad with boredom.

it does not become you, this passion for tragedy.

if that happened to me, i would hate god.

how have you been keeping?

you spoke the truth, and shamed the devil every time.

you have never loved anything but your own blessed reputation.

it was ordinary, in the beginning. i must remember that.

there are always eyes in the dark.

it isn't in the bible, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.

you are many things to me, but a mother is not one of them.

i can't imagine you crying.

a holiday might do you good.

my nerves are raw as meat.

i want to fend off sleep and dreams as long as i can.

it's funny, isn't it, the things that frighten us as children.

a monster seen is a monster that can be dealt with.

the shine is off the world.

you can come in, you know.

pretty is as pretty does.

what has happened to you?

whatever happened, god didn't stop it. doesn't that make it his will?

it will be alright, won't it?

you should've told me. i would have made you a cake.

did you never have birthday parties when you were a child?

so many unhappy memories. we must make a better one.

what is happening to me?

perhaps you could read to me?

i know it's a bit childish, but i like being read to when i'm not well.

there was a knock. surely you heard it.

watch me from the shadows, will you? whisper my name? come out and look me in the eye.

why are you laughing? what is it that you find so very funny?

get out of here right now, or you will catch it.

you and i know how much more there is out there in the wide, wild world.

not enraged. outraged.

what do you have to cry about?

i don't want to hear. i don't want to see.

i may be doomed, but i am not mad.

no one has ever wanted me so much.

an older sister can fix anything.

i really thought i would be able to simply carry on.

idle hands are the devil's playthings.

i need to speak to you about that night.

you are my friend. the truest friend i have.

i want to understand what happened. and to help, if i can.

a hurt animal will bite, even when someone is trying to dress its wounds.

i don't care about inconvenience, or what people think. i care about you.

you're solicitous as an angel.

i can scarcely remember the last time i wasn't nervous.

your voice is not your own, nor your expression.

i am well used to lying by omission.

it does not do for a woman to be too clever.

isn't that strange? to hate someone you have never met?

it spoke to me. it knew my name.

i don't want to be in the dark.

you know, don't you? you know for certain.

i tried to turn back, but i couldn't.

when you say 'it', what do you mean?

it's worse than not having it at all: having it, and then not having it.

is the truth something i owed you?

if i owe you my past, do you owe me yours?

every woman is full of tragedies. she is obliged to share them with no one but god.

i have nothing but questions, and no answers.

i am like a lost handkerchief: i turn up when i'm least expected.

i only did what you asked of me.

fear makes you ugly.

you are such an innocent, in spite of everything.

can you not recognize when you are being wooed?

no one has ever wooed me before.

people avoid me now.

a woman laughing is always a disturbing thing for a man to witness.

the value of knowledge does not need to be justified by utility.

you have never thought of what is best for me. only what is best for you.

what power have you over me now?

it pains me to see you so changed.

i am more myself than i have ever been before.

i am not a thing that you can shape. not anymore.

the prospect of being hanged sharpens the mind most wonderfully.

your heart is cold. beneath that skin of yours is only ice, not blood.

i have so little patience left.

you must take this to your grave.

there are a lot of stories about you.

you get to where you can recognize it. that look someone has.

intentions and prayers are useless to me.

[auspicioustidings]

Gaz and Price taking care of each other (they r in love and this can be soft or horny whatever u want) 💈💙

Nothing but the softest for these two smooshes!

Fracture

Words: 1k

It was not the first time that John Price had broken bones, not by a long shot, but it was the first time that the healing was being so annoying.

The pain of a fractured shoulder he could about live with, but not being able to do anything properly was driving him up the wall. His clumsy left arm was doing a piss poor job of trying to look after him, especially given that his right was in a sling meaning even his hand was fully out of commission.

He had stubbornly refused to ask for help obviously. He was a bleeding Captain in the SAS, he did not need coddling. When the muppet of a medic had suggested he get help in, some large arsed matron to do his cooking and cleaning and fuss over him, he had promised them that his left hook would work just as well if they didn't drop the issue, give him his meds and send him on his way.

It had been a week and he was living on take out. He was no stranger to being a little grotty out on mission, but never in his own home. He hated not being able to be as meticulous with cleaning both his space and himself, but every stretch was agony on that right shoulder and ran the risk of fucking it up worse if he wasn't more careful.

There was a knock at the door and he wondered if he had ordered food and forgotten about it, possible with the cocodamol even if he was only taking half the recommended dosage (he had seen how Simon had baulked when they gave him all that heavy medication, when they told him how long he should be on it for. There was no way John would ever risk picking up the phone to him and being loopy from pain meds, not when he knew how much it could hurt him and when the pain wasn't so dreadful he couldn’t cope).

It was not a food delivery.

“Gaz?”

“Well invite me in Captain, it's bloody freezing out here.”

Price stood aside in bemusement as his thoroughly bundled up Sergeant politely toed off his shoes and put them neatly to the side before taking off into the house like he owned the place.

Gaz hadn't ever been here before but he hardly waited for the grand tour, instead doing a full sweep with Price trailing after him.

“Trying to find treasure or something Gaz?”

“No sir, just getting the lay of the land.”

“Uh huh. Care to enlighten me as to why?”

Gaz had at this point poked his head in everywhere and they had settled back in the kitchen. Price was sore and tired and a little gross, but none the less he had enough energy to be somewhat embarrassed by the state of the place.

“Junk food is for garbage people.”

Price had the sense to not argue. It was something he always told his team anytime they ordered food to base. If there were facilities to cook, then John Price was damn well going to have a home cooked meal.

“Messy room, messy head.”

Yes ok, technically he used that one pretty often as well. He was always on at them to keep the base tidy and clean.

“Nothing better than a proper soak after a long mission” Gaz finished with a gentle, lopsided smile.

“Gaz…”

“Let me help old man, that's what your team are for.”

So he let him help. The first thing was getting put into a hot bath. Gaz helped him settle, macgyvered a little shelf to sit over the tub for Price to rest his arm on. And then he softly and carefully washed Price's hair.

It was such a strange thing, Price had never really had someone do this for him before. Gaz was gentle, his nails scratching his scalp pleasantly. This felt more vulnerable somehow than being under fire, sitting in the bath with someone he loved paying him such careful attention.

“I might not be the best person to help with the beard, but Soap could probably do it. Did you know he grew one out when he was last on medical leave?”

“That your way of telling me I'm a mess?”

“Oh the rugged look fully does it for me sir, just incase it doesn't for you. Would hate for you to use the sad invalid method that Keller does to lure a nice lady back here and then give her carpet burn.”

He couldn't smack Gaz in his current state, but he did make a valiant attempt at splashing water at him.

“You're a fucking muppet.”

“That's why you like me so much.”

He was almost sad when his hair was rinsed and he was left to soak alone for a bit. He could hear the whirlwind of tidying and cleaning happening around his house and Price couldn't help but enjoy Kyle Garrick being in his space. The man was his home whether Price wanted to admit that or not, so with him here this house had never felt more right.

Christ it was a good thing he wasn't taking full dosage lest it make him say something he might regret.

Gaz returned right as Price was starting to prune and helped him out, fluffy towel at the ready. Honestly he did not need this level of attentiveness, but when he tried to protest Gaz just brushed him off.

“Your job might be to take care of people, but right now you're on leave. It's time for someone to take care of you John.”

Oh. Oh that name sounded wonderful coming from him. Turned out he was a decent cook too, having managed to make a hearty soap from what he could find in the kitchen. For the first time since the fracture John Price felt human again. He was eating a good home cooked meal, the place was tidy and he was clean. The words came easy.

“Love you Kyle.”

“Love you too John.”

[ghostradiodylan]

Do you have any headcanons for how the hacketteers would deal with being sick? Maybe how often they get sick, what type of illnesses they are prone to, etc….

Way behind on Quarry asks but I am home sick with some kind of crud right now so what better time to answer this one?!

Emma - Emma is a people person and always on the go, so she's exposed to a lot of germs. I feel like she'd be the one to get into juicing and making smoothies for immune health and the 'sexy' supplements like Moon Juice or whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is selling (but nobody’s sure if she really buys into them or if she’s just trying to get a sponsorship). Emma has a system for any kind of normal illness that doesn't completely knock her on her ass and that is to take a very hot bath with peppermint and eucalyptus bath salts and drink a hot toddy while she's in there. (Just the one, she doesn't want to drown!)

Jacob - This guy gets the dreaded Man Cold and is the sickest person who has ever lived. He doesn't get sick often because he's fairly health conscious, but he's absolutely pathetic and mopey about it when he does. He wants to be babied because his perfect male specimen of a body and extensive supplement regimen have betrayed him. He hates going to the doctor and puts it off until someone makes him go. Kaitlyn brings him soup and yells at him (affectionately) to stop being pathetic. He drinks a ton of Gatorade when he's sick (always Cool Blue flavor).

Kaitlyn - Look, Kaitlyn's Asian and her family was wearing masks during cold and flu season long before it was cool. She doesn't totally buy into the traditional Chinese medicine stuff but she does believe in the healing power of food that's spicy as fuck, especially if she's having sinus issues. She's also a fan of long, hot baths or showers, chicken soup with a ton of garlic, drinking a bunch of tea with lemon and ginger, the sauna at the gym, exercising even if she doesn't feel like it, hot yoga, and acupuncture. If that doesn't knock it out, she's not too stubborn to go to the doctor, people like that (who have insurance but don’t use it) drive her crazy (Jacob!).

Abi - If something is going around, Abi just knows she's going to get it. She’s a worrier and a bit of a catastrophizer when she does get sick. She's a hand sanitizer addict, she's got those cute sparkly holders from Bath & Body Works (but she uses the Halloween ones all year). She's good about letting herself take time to rest and get her strength back after an illness though. She likes to catch up on trash TV while she's recuperating. She also gets allergy shots because her environmental allergies are insane. She uses a neti pot or saline spray often to ward off sinus infections.

Ryan - Our stoic boy is stoic. Ryan takes all the necessary precautions to not get sick, he's kind of an obsessive hand-washer for sensory reasons anyway, but when he does, he follows doctors' recommendations to the letter and rarely complains. He will typically muddle through like normal if he's not got something contagious, but if he has to take time off work or school, he doesn't really talk about it or look to be cared for, just holes up in his room alone trying to not spread it around--he is very conscientious. Ryan gets the occasional migraine and that's one thing he can't really muddle through. He has to be in a quiet, dark room to recover, with an ice pack on his head, a caffeinated beverage, and a guided meditation podcast.

Dylan - People love to make our boy a damsel in distress because he's a cute gay string bean that bad things happen to, but Dylan is pretty tough in the game (like, unrealistically tough at times). I tend to consider his amputee arc as main canon, so given the assumption that he doesn't die of sepsis after surviving werewolves, he's got to have a pretty robust immune system and probably doesn't get sick that often. He does have that whole under-react/overreact thing going on though (the air freshener lol), so I imagine that when he does get sick, he either just carries on until he physically can't anymore (he'd wear a mask and get vaccinated and all that good stuff, he's a scientist after all, but he’s bad about making sure he gets rest) OR he starts Googling his symptoms and getting paranoid, convinced he has some rare incurable disease (he doesn't). He also doesn't really like to slow down and let people take care of him but when they really insist, he not-so-secretly loves the attention, from his mom, his boyfriend, his roommate/bestie, whoever.

Nick - Nick turns into a slimy wet sex pest whenever he gets sick. No, I’m kidding. I think it’d be funny/ironic/unfortunate if chef Nick had kind of a sensitive digestive system. He will eat anything, especially if Jacob is eating it. But, alas, Jacob has an iron stomach and our poor Nicholas does not. So he gets a lot of tummy troubles from doing things like eating 20 year old snacks or trying to go head to head with Jacob and Kaitlyn in a spicy ramen challenge. Nick gets sick a regular amount with stuff like head colds and is just kind of middle of the road as far as how he handles it. He does however have a habit of making up untrue facts about Australia that he tells his coworkers and campers when no one has the internet available to fact check him and one of them is that a steaming mug of hot pickle juice is a favorite folk remedy for colds there.

Max - he doesn’t get sick often but he is highly accident-prone. Like, so accident-prone that his family has started calling them ‘Maxidents’ when he has a major mishap. He routinely falls off ladders, gets attacked by migratory waterfowl, trips while trying to carry more groceries than he should into the apartment, etc. Max is luckily a very good patient because he has a lot of practice. He also has a lot of ice packs in the freezer at all times.

Laura - she gets onto Max about being careful, getting enough sleep, eating healthy, etc, but Laura is a do as I say, not as I do kinda gal. She does try to be healthy and active but she’s really busy (busier than ever post-canon because she thinks she can outrun trauma if she never slows down long enough to think about it). When Laura gets sick she gets Leslie Knope sick.

Max has to put her in bed and take care of her because she will not admit she needs it until she is practically on death’s door.

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

“plots please” 👀

send me “plots please” and I’ll respond with 3 (or more) interesting plots / relationships / connections I can think of for our muses! | ACCEPTING

HIIIIII BROZI 👀👀👀 Thank you for sending this in! I won't lie to you when I saw this was so hard to narrow down based on the sheer number of compatible interactions we would have for our characters!!

BECAUSE LIKE, the impulse monkey on my shoulder is telling me to throw EVERYTHING down to see which one of our blorbos maul each other like rabid animals and which ones get along nicely! Haha

ALSO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE WALL OF TEXT, I don't know how it got this long and frankly I'm a little terrified!

POTENTIAL INTERACTION COMBINATIONS / INTERESTING DYNAMIC IDEAS

I spent a long time trying to hash out how to rank these, but please bare with me! I think ANY combination of muses could be fascinating to analyze given the sheer personality differences between muses.

In total my muses that have DBD centered AUs are: Sally Smithson / The Nurse (default verse), Evan Macmillan / The Trapper (default verse), Doe (default verse, original character), The Green Maiden (AU verse, original character), Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull (AU verse)

So any of them would work with most of your muses! Though I will say Doe, my original character, additionally has verses for the TCM franchise, F13 & more general horror which could be fun to play with for your Thomas Hewitt, Bubba and or Jason muses!

It all, ultimately, depends on the sort of thread you're going for/dynamics you want to play with!

Sally is dread, she is sardonic, powerful and hateful. She's EXACTLY who you picture when you think of a 100+ year old ghost sealed away in the tomb of an old asylum that was host to insurmountable pain and exploitation. She's kind of death embodied to an extent, but that's a different conversation! There are moments of intense apathy, cruelty and hatred, it's not sadism but its more a thing she feels is justice. But there are equally moments of intense kindness and compassion as well.

Think of it like this, let's say Bubba got completely overwhelmed after a trial, snowballs thrown at him, stabbed by the survivors, flashbanged, just completely attacked on all angles. Sally would be a killer who would stop in an attempt to help him ground himself and calm down without hurting him any further. BUT at the same time, Sally is the sort of woman who would realize Dwight is hiding in a locker, and strangle one of his teammates outside of the door in his line of sight as a direct 'you deserve to see what your cowardice caused, I gave this one a clean death, I won't give you that,'

As a person, I would recommend Sally in threads with characters like Frank, Dwight, the Chainsaw bros or Mikey. I think she could be kind to Bubba and Tommy, but like, enemy on first sight with Michael and with Dwight and Frank, let's just say her bitterness would shiiiiine baybeee.

Evan, he's a funny guy, kind of an inverse of a character like Jason. He's big, strong, caked up brick wall of a man who is extremely intimidating. Rough, a bit coarse, abrupt and to the point, and aggressive but he's one of my more lighthearted characters. He really doesn't give a single solitary shit about the Entity and playing by her games, he's out here for him, so he's doing what he must to survive and overcome the trauma that's left him a shell of a person. He's good in action and aggression threads, he's not INSANELY powerful, but he's more willing to goof around than Sally with the big caveat that he's unwilling/unable to give those brief moments of intense compassion and care that Sally is.

Evan is a guy I would recommend for a thread with Frank, Mike, maybe Tommy and/or Jason. A thread between them could be a bit chaotic with the differing personalities but that's not a bad thing! It's interesting! Even though I think Evan may end up throwing Frank through a window at some point! Haha

And Doe, well, she's my token survivor character, but don't take that to mean she isn't developed and doesn't have a full personality of her own! Haha. Doe excels in many things, she's resourceful, clever, fox-like, sly & sweet. She wears her heart on her sleeve and feels with every fiber of her person. Really she's a scream queen in every respect. But her big thing is that she is COWARDLY, she is cowardly, shaped by her fear and all of her perks and even her backstory hinged on this.

She was relatively normal growing, born into a small family in Vancouver, but faced terrifying visions of her many, many gruesome deaths from an early age. Traumatized her, anxiety disorder, but as always she ran away from it mentally, repressing it. Grew up, aspirations to be one of the big names on the cusp of the computer age. Extremely into programming and engineering, wanted to be a pioneer and a business woman but you need money to do that. Got a dead end job at a mall and finished one evening, went outside, became involved in a murder. Saw everything, cowardice took over and she left the victim to their fate and fled. Victim went missing, her trying to tell authorities did nothing, guilt and a mental breakdown from the repressed trauma came back. She ran away, terrified she would be killed next. Got killed, lost her name, most of her memories & in a cosmic punishment is now trapped in the hell she witnessed premonitions of throughout her childhood. Now forever running in place, fighting to survive, not knowing she's already dead, nameless and largely forgotten and facing all the deaths that kept her up at night.

Despite this doom and gloom, she's actually one of my lightest, funnest characters! She's a freak (affectionate) and a weirdo (loving), she's eccentric and a little off center but she hates her cowardice. She wants to live not shaped by her terror and to OWN her deaths, y'know? Like, she'll die anyways, she wants to be in control of the show and when she bows out. For this reason I consider her a bit more of a long haul / plot driven character that's great for slow burn character changing plot! But given she's 80s, bubbly, scream queen weirdo, she'd be just as fun in one offs too!

I also have like,,, 500 different verses for her too, so she could easily be slotted in ANYWHERE with any of your characters, but she is, uhhh, she is a lot and a bit more sad than my other characters!

PLOTS

I WON'T LIE TO YOU BROZI, there are so many potential plots it's not even funny. Modern AU for Sally has a bit of a crossover with Frank (albeit centered around Frank when I played him) WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO EXPLORE. Something about Sally and Mikey as they have very similar yet such very very different backgrounds, etc. Evan and Jason forming the 'complex feelings about all feelings of friendship being corrupted by cruelty and weird feelings about not having present familial figures' etc etc.

It might be a bit better to message me directly about certain character combinations for ideas! Haha. I'd feel terrible if I dumped more walls of text on top of you! OH ALSO!! Even though it's unpolished, I'd love to burst out Doe's carrd so you could look over the different verses to see if you'd like to play around with any of them!! Either way, don't hesitate to hit me up and don't be a stranger! I am bursting with ideas!!

RELATIONSHIPS + CONNECTIONS

OOOOOOOH, not to be too presumptuous but I've love to play with some of the canon dynamics, if it'd be alright with you!

For instance, Trapper and the dislike of all Dwights, which was made canon in the Hooked On You game which is allowed... sometimes! It's hit and miss with me and I can't forgive the fact they haven't given us the swimsuit skin for Trapper yet! Haha.

But also some more theoretical ones, things like potential uneasiness on Dwight's account given the fact Doe spent so long as a theoretical person, running from the other survivors as though they were killers. Stuff like that!! You certainly don't have to BUT I LIVE FOR PRIOR CONNECTIONS AND PLOTTED SHIPS, romantic and otherwise!

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and *deep sigh* here we are...again. Not to get off topic but have you ever seem The Green Mile?? I have a complicated relationship with that movie but I the thing from it permanently imprinted on my brain is when the warden comes in demands "What in the Blue Fuck was That!?" It a whole ass mood right now after watching that clip and I highly recommend just watching that line to get the full effect.

Why, for the love of God, are we bringing up Shannon again??!! She didn't even really come up during Eddie's PTSD arc but we're just gonna randomly insert her in a episode sort of about death?? Of course we are because KR has literally no new ideas. Oh except for this season where she's like "You know what hasn't been done yet?? We haven't emphasized importance of family by blood so we'll redeem all the horrible parents with zero effort to let everyone know your grudges are petty and just hurt you." You know why that hasn't been done Kristen??!! Because this is a show about FOUND family, realizing your importance and worth in a space that's safe for you to do that, and having the support you need when the bad times come!! She has actually forgotten the very foundation of this show and I'd scream but I'm also so, so tired. You know what time it is then 🍸🍸🍸. Gonna read comfort fic and find a comfort show to put on when that gets hard. Cheers friend!!

Bestieeeee! What. The fuck. Is happening?! I didn't answer this Friday and I should have because yesterday was a WHOLE other mess! I feel so bad for dragging you into this show just in time for it to all go to shit. We survived RNM, we don't deserve to suffer like this again! 😩😩😩

Your "KR has literally no new ideas" line is SO apt after that clip yesterday literally recycling the eddieana meeting. Parallels can be used and be effective but after she literally just re-did Buck's fight with Bobby over returning to work with Eddie (only to not show their apology or Eddie's decision to return to work on screen), and re-did Eddie's "it's time to get back out there after Shannon and figure out what you want") s4 arc last week, this "Buck meets a girl on a call in the exact same way Eddie met Ana" just looks...so so so lazy. Not to mention Buck and Eddie are only ever with women after they meet them on calls, AND we are reverting Buck back to season 1 "a relationship with THIS women must be able to fix me" which is just...gross. Buck was always one of my favorite characters but GOD I dread his personal scenes now because KR just doesn't know what to do with him unless it's trying to get into his pants in some way and she doesn't understand any of the motivations or what drives him as a character. Stop ruining my boy!! GOD I need her off this show like, YESTERDAY.

ANYWAY

This whole Shannon thing has me so 🙄🙄🙄 because as good as Ryan and Gavin are and Eddie/Chris scenes always are because they play so well off each other, this is like, the LEAST interesting thing they could have done and it's clearly not about Chris or Eddie or their complicated history with Shannon, it's just being used to push the "Eddie choosing someone to date for himself" idea. They could have given something deep and emotional this season like Chris now being old enough to start asking harder questions about Shannon leaving and Eddie trying to navigate that with him, or having a talk about Chris starting to be interested in dating and asking Eddie some hard questions about why Eddie isn't dating again since Ana has been gone for so long. But nope! It's "let's pretend this parent never did anything awful and there are zero complex feelings about them" hours once again. Thanks, I HATE it. And for me it ruins the nuance of Shannon's character because she WAS just a person who was struggling. But where Eddie thought his son didn't need *him* so much as he needed Eddie to provide for him and once he found out Chris just wanted to spend time WITH him he fought tooth and nail to make it work no matter how hard, Shannon decided it was too much and cut off all contact because keeping in touch with her son and making sure he knew he was loved wasn't as important as her not wanting to be put in an awkward position. And that's life! And Chris and Eddie should be allowed to acknowledge that they loved her at some point, Chris should be allowed to have good memories of his mom, and still be allowed to acknowledge that she abandoned them and hurt them deeply and there are complex feelings around that!

These complex parental relationships leading to the found family of the 118 has ALWAYS been at the heart of the show and you're right that KR has NEVER understood that and has spent this season undermining that bond across the whole team and any time the story tries to emphasize the found family it's also still pushing the blood family importance so the storytelling comes out confused and in opposition to itself giving the audience emotional whiplash. I'm just so very very tired of this. I'm positive it's too much to hope for but with audiences tuning out and the constant complaints at how the show is handling arcs and pacing and KR's choices, and even now articles by people who often write about 911 calling out the inconsistencies, maybe the negotiations for renewal will come with some stipulations on who gets to be in charge. Even if I didn't love EVERY storyline choice in the early seasons, the episodes themselves were ALWAYS enjoyable overall and there was so much good stuff going on it was easy to let the stuff I didn't like as much roll past, so it would be good to get back to that sort of vibe again and KR has proved over several seasons that she is NOT up to that task. With the Tarlos wedding wrapped up, we might get...I don't want to say "lucky" because I don't think Tim is the greatest thing ever, but we might get some bit of pacing and consistency and flow back in the show (I know LS has some pacing issues as well but that feels to me more like them having to work around RL's insistence on centricity than anything else)

Oof. Lets see if we can make it through these last few episodes with this dating nonsense, the sperm donor arc and L coming back, and maybe even a Tay Kay jumpscare. Can't wait 🙄 At least Ravi is back home and the finale emergency looks like it will be good and we're getting injured Chim so we're going to get *some* crumbs out of this mess. And then it will be summer and I've got a fic idea started soooo, we'll see if I can get anywhere with my astronaut!Buck, NASA medic!Eddie Countdowns inspired thingy. Cheers my friend, we are going to NEED IT. (But hey, if we survived RNM, we can do ANYTHING. But also we shouldn't have to and I need this show to STOP IT.) 🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹🍹

[regretsofalifeandlovelost]

re-balancing our relationship

Arriving home I need to talk with my partner, I feel that I have so much going through my mind that while it's fresh (and I am still buzzing slightly) that it needs to happen now. The kids had cycled over to their cousins so it left the house free. I start talking and unload all of the thoughts flowing through my head. It starts with how our relationship is, and that I don't see us as being a couple beyond the shared responsibility of kids. While our sex life has improved it's still not intimate, it feels distant, almost like a chore. I tell him my thoughts about his premature ejaculation and how it's really impacting our relationship, I worry that he's not giving it a realistic attempt to try and solve. It also seems to only apply when we are together, he seems to be able to last longer with other people. He starts to talk and I realise that we both have the same problems from the alternate angles. He goes on to say that for years I rejected any advances, any nice gestures that he made so he stopped making them for fear of being abused. I felt embarrassed and the memory of these came flooding back. It suddenly linked what the therapists had said about me locking so many memories away and not dealing with them, as I became more awakened they got released and the repression that hid them, the emotions came back out.

We talk for hours, going into some of the deepest and darkest places in our brains, it is like a weight is being lifted from the both of us. Towards the end of the talk we start covering the topics that I had the most dread about. I raise the conversation about all the dicks and male on male activity that he's had, I feel that his previous responses in similar but not as deep talks has been not 100% truthful. He goes on to talk about how he has become cock obsessed, he's completely infatuated with circumcised cocks and loves to play with his and other guys, but he doesn't find men attractive. I tell him that I've grown to be completely obsessed with circumcised men and watching porn, looking how they fuck. We laugh and joke about it being a new shared interest. He continues and starts talking about his sexual relations with other women at the clubs and what worked, what didn't work and his ejaculation problems. He said he's always had the problem, even with his first partner, his one night stands before we got together. He said that it's worse when he cares for someone, he said at the clubs he can last a few minutes longer, but ultimately he still cums too quickly. He talks about the recommendations from the doctors and he's been offered hypnosis and other alternative therapies too which he has not taken up. He said that he's worried as it requires us to be more intimate to build up the ability to withstand and not cum so quickly. I tell him that I WANT to work with him, I WANT to and NEED to have better sex. I tell him that over the last few months I've come to realise so much about me as been locked away anxiety, problems, stress and blocking out everything and everyone.

The conversation has turned around to me, I talk about what has been discussed with the therapists, with other people and how I have come to realise that throughout my whole life I have needed to internalise and hide so much pain. I had never delt with any of the pain in any real way, it was always by releasing and attacking others who tried to do things for me. I hated myself and I showed that through being a bitch to others. I even told him about my first period, I was so embarrassed and so shy, I had to hide it from even my own mother. I had no idea what was happening and had no support. Everything about my body from that point and before that point had been "disgusting". I had hidden my body and felt dirty for sexual thoughts. I was ashamed and thought it was dirty. I had come to realise that my sexual relationships had always been how I expected them to be when you had such a bad image of yourself. The men in my life treated me how I treated myself and they would take what they wanted and leave, that was how I wanted it, I felt good on some levels that they had got what they needed. It turns out that it was just hiding what I needed and suppressing more emotions and locking away more hate. As I look at his expressions on his face I realise that he's shocked and at the same time impressed by such deep insights. He tells me that I have a magic pussy, he's never felt a pussy that feels so good, he goes on to say that he's really started to love learning how to go down on me, I tell him that I love it and need it so much more. I joke that I need to make up for over 20 years of nothing. He tells me that he feels remorse for not pushing me harder to open up and be more sexual, he said it was always something that he wanted but was consistently rejected and I wore him down. I feel sad, very sad. I can see that I have emotionally abused, psychologically abused him over our entire relationship and have left him a shell of his former self.

The phone rings, its my brother and he tells me that the kids are asking if they can stay over at their cousins, I tell them it's okay i'll need to pick them up early in the morning as its school and they don't have their school cloths etc. As soon as I've hung up the talk continues.

My partner starts to talk about all the hard work I've put in to getting fit, losing weight, feeling better about myself. He said that I've got my body back to what I was like 20 years ago. I tell him that someone at the club the previous night told me that I look like a famous porn star, I had saved the name in my phone because I didn't recognise her name, Kleio Valentien. He said that he knew who she was, and with the exception of my age and breasts being small I had a close to identical figure and face. It was a close match. I look on my phone at photos of her and can't see a resemblance, but if more than one person agree it must be true lol. Out of the blue he asks me to squat on his face so that he can eat my pussy, a position that I am not too familiar with so he guides me, as I sit there I look down and see his brilliant blue eyes. Then it struck me that I hadn't showered and I probably still had cum in me from the previous night. As soon as his tongue started to work my clitoris i no longer cared. After a few minutes he stops and says that I taste and smell so good, it takes my arousal to the next level. I find myself giving him tips, telling him to keep doing what he's doing etc, the first time ever we are mutually working on it. I stop him and tell him that I want to 69, I want this to be mutual. I had only been in the 69 with my sisters husband properly, but I wanted this to be a new thing we could do together. As I bent down to suck his cock he mentions that my pussy looks so hot, he starts working his tongue again as I start working his cock. I feel him building up and I back off, I start again, feel him about to go and then stop, I figure the edging will help him last.. my mental focus on him makes me forget about myself and suddenly I feel my body angst and muscles tighten, its almost a shock as my first orgasm rolls in. My muscles must have contracted or something because he said a load of "gunk" came out of my pussy onto his face.. he starts again. He stops and tells me how hot it is to see me in this position, I feel really good about that, almost elated. I'm constantly edging him along, stringing him along for the longest time ever, actually the only time ever. During an orgasm I lost my thought process for a moment and missed that he was about to explode, his cum shoots out in my mouth in volumes I had never in my life experienced from him. I feel his body twitch with each explosion into my mouth. It doesn't taste as bad as it usually does, but I still can't bring myself to swallow it, its almost like the fishy taste of the smell you get at the fish markets. It's something that I will really struggle to get past. As he lays there I talk about his cock, and stroke it with my nails, telling how much I love a nice circumcised cock.

A few minutes of that and he's hard again, I am genuinely surprised, I want to fuck him. I move off him and turn around, as I do I see that the gunk he talked about is actually cum that must have been still in me. He doesn't seem to worry, I move across on-top of him and slide his head just past my lips so his glands perfectly on my spot. I start to move my hips in a circular motion, it feels amazing, it feels amazing, he's not cumming so quickly, I keep doing it, he's still not cumming, I get myself to orgasm and as my muscles contract I feel him cum inside me… I look down to see his cum face, a face i am all too familiar with from when he's been on-top of me all those years. I feel amazed, i go down to kiss him and lick the gunk off his face so he doesn't see what it was when we get to the bathroom.

I tell him how "fucking amazing" that was, I can see that he feels great, I can see that he's got a weight lifted off his shoulder. We head to the shower and caress and wash each other. It's all very sensual and intimate. It feels like the first time in our entire relationship that we have had a moment like this. We both feel great. As we get dressed he asks about the night before, how it was. I tell him the club was good, we went back to a guys house, he asked who I was with. I felt nervous to tell him the truth, but I did anyway, before he had a chance to say anything I went on to talk about the mirror experience. He stops me, and tells me to show him. We grab the hand mirror off my dresser and I show him. This clearly gets him back on edge because he fucks me again.. This time cumming all over my stomach, so back to the shower again.

In the shower he asks me about my sisters husband and the sex, I tell him that it's just me being trained on my body, as I said it I realised that I actually had feelings for him too, more than friends. My partner tells me that he would love to watch me fuck him so he can learn the techniques and learn more. I tell him that it's hard because of my sister and it is a fine line, not sure we have balance. He then tells me that he has dreams about fucking my sister, that she oozes "I will fuck your brains out" vibes. He nervously laughs. I feel jealousy towards my sister again, a competitive need. I feel obliged to let him fuck her if the opportunity arises, but I feel that it will only highlight the shortcomings of our relationship sexually. I worry that she will be able to out fuck me at my own game. My mind races with thoughts at a million kilometers per hour. I respond back to him that she could probably teach me more tricks that will help him get better in bed.

That night I can't get to sleep, I lay there for over five hours thinking about my partner and my sister. I feel so much jealosy, hate, pain not even sure what emotions. I can't wrap my head around how I am somehow allowed to fuck her husband, but my partner isn't allowed to fuck her.

[smalltownfae]

For the book asks: 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 16, 22, 23, 27, 28, 33, 40, 43, 47? Thank you in advance, Books. ;)

1. What book did you last read??

"Senlin Ascends" by Josiah Bancroft. I just finished it today and there is a short review here. It turned out better than what it seemed at first, but I still don't like the mc much.

3. Do you read books just because you saw them on tumblr??

Pff no. I seldom see any on my dash that I haven't heard about before. I think booktube is the worst for me in this aspect because people are there making videos and keep selling me on stuff I never thought about reading and then I regret it.

6. Can you ever stop in the middle of a page or do you have to finish the page or chapter first??

I can. I have to. As someone that reads slowly and anywhere at any time I need to stop whenever there is a need to do something else. If I am not interrupted and the chapters are not that long I like to finish them though.

8. Do you lend your books out to friends??

Yes, if I trust them enough. Right now a friend has my copy of "Assassin's Quest" by Robin Hobb and another has "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" by Taylor Jenkins Reid. However, I have a back up illustrated edition of AQ and I am dreading having to let someone borrow any of the other RotE books just because I love them so much. I know it's a material thing, but I fear I will not be able to replace the books if something happens and I love them so much they are almost a part of me and I am ridiculously worried about that. That is because sometimes when I let people borrow books they come back with a bit of wear which I don't mind as long as it's not too much because I do it myself since I carry books everywhere. But sometimes I fear that they will come too damaged and it's worrying if it's one of my most favourites, you know?

9. How do you find the Booklr community??

By using the search bar? Is there even a booklr community? XD I know a total of 2 people that have specifically book blogs but most people just reblog and post whatever and it doesn't have to be books... I don't know. I have no opinion on this. If anyone wants to recommend me good book blogs around here feel free to do so.

16. What book has been on you TBR pile the longest??

This question was made to shame me. I am not sure. There are some books I bought when I was studying at the university and so far I haven't read them. "Cloud Atlas" by David Mitchell is one of the oldest, but I still want to read it!

22. Tell us a little about your writing.

In what way? I can say I have no focus. I have been noticing that the stories I come up with are usually influenced by what I'm reading, watching or listening to and therefore I can't stick to just one. I keep having new ideas and writing a bit for one one day and a bit for another in another day. So it goes and I finish none. I hate that. Anyways, I also like to experiment with blending genres. I feel like I will never be able to write something completelly absent of fantastical elements, but a fantasy mystery or fantasy horror and stuff like that are things that cross my mind often because I like those genres too.

I am also still trying to figure out the kind of characters that I like and all the elements I need in a story in order to be able to love it because I want to implement that in my writing. If I don't love what I come up with I will never finish it or tolerate it enough in order to reread and edit it.

23. How did you get into reading??

I think I answered something like this before... I started reading very early on. I knew how to read before starting primary school and I used and abused my library card when I got one in 1st grade. I was the kid that took a book everywhere, including family gatherings. There was a moment during high school where I didn't read much, but of course I came back to it when I started working after I got out of high school. Reading is in my blood and so is fantasy because my first stories were in that genre. A lot of fairy tales and similar stuff got me into reading as a child. That is also part of why Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen is the only portuguese writer I like so far. She wrote some fairy tale-like children's stories and I read them all at some point and I enjoyed most of them.

27. Name a book that you own starting with (Pick a letter). Have you read it?? Did you like it?? If you haven’t read it, are you looking forwards to it.

You forgot to give me a letter so... I can't help you XD

28. First book that comes to mind, tell us about it. Rant

You know if you say rant I instantly remember "The Name of the Wind" by Patrick Rothfuss. I am still so disapointed and mad. I will never be ok. People keep putting that book in the same sentence as Farseer by Robin Hobb and comparing them and I honestly think of murder everytime that happens. It would be lovely if people stopped doing that. One is a masterpiece with a beautifully written world, great themes, amazing complex characters, lgbt+ representation and excelent female characters. The other is smut disguised as fantasy written by a cis white man and it shows. It shows a lot!

If you like this book stop now. I am not going to be nice.

I am always surprised by how many people think this is a high quality book. Some of them woke up from that fever dream and the drugs stopped having an effect after the long fairy sex scenes in the 2nd book, but some people are still into it. Look, I have no problem if you like trashy books as long as you admit that is what it is. The amount of dudebros defending this series and complaining about fairy sex Sarah J. Maas' books in the same breath is fascinating (not in a good way). It is literally the same thing (except that, according to one former fan that woke up, at least Maas is entertaining. I can't say how true that is because I don't enjoy reading porn. It just doesn't do anything for me).

I am convinced the fans enjoy it so much because of the things they imagine in their heads more than anything that is actually written in the book. My prediction is that if the 3rd book ever comes out it will disappoint the rest of the fans that the 2nd didn't disappoint already.

The characters are all Kvothe because this is Kvothe's narrative and he only thinks of himself. That is why they are so flat. That is why all the men cannot see a women without thinking about sex. They're all Kvothe, which I'll give is a complex character at least, but I absolutelly loathe him and everything that comes out of that mouth is tainted.

Stop saying the world building is original when it's just like any other fantasy inspired by medieval Europe. Stop saying the writing is beautiful when the man can't write women or romance. You think this -"Each woman is like an instrument, waiting to be learned, loved, and finely played, to have at last her own true music made." - is beautiful? Are you alright??? Blink if you need help.

Just never mention this book to me again. The sooner people read actual good books the better.

PLEASE STOP COMPARING THIS TO MY FAVOURITE BOOK SERIES. PLEASE!!! I beg you!

33. How do you organise your shelves??

I don't :D Right now I kept the portuguese books separated from the english ones more or less in alphabethical order by author. The nonfiction is separated from the fiction. Sometimes I change it though. Before I had the books I haven't read yet separated from those that I already read.

40. How do you feel when you find a typo/spelling error in a book??

Up to 3 I ignore it. More than that and I side eye the editor and I think the author should get a new one.

43. Free rant, go ahead, we all know you want to.

I already ranted about “The Name of the Wind”. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???

Well, I’m going to go into generalisations now I guess.

Why are the most popular adult fantasy books being hyped up written by cis white men? Other people are writing books too and have been for years, but here I am finding Patricia McKillip only in 2021. Shame on you all!

Why are people so against critics of their favourite books? Why do people refuse to see flaws in their favourite books? This just in: you can see the flaws, recognize them and still enjoy the story. All is well as long as you are not advertising it as the best book of all time and flawless (Rothfuss and Sanderson fans).

We would be here the entire night. I have lots of book community related complains that no one cares about because people are not really interested in learning and branching out. That is why the most popular books have a similar story as many others, but given different names and a little bit of a make over. I also blame the publishers that insist on publishing the same thing because it sells instead of focusing on more creative works. Fantasy is getting a little better nowadays, but damn thrillers are all the same with a different cover.

47. How many books do you take when you go out??

Only 1 unless it’s too short or I am almost finishing it. If so, I also take my kobo fully charged. The kobo is really helpful in this situation because if all goes well I will never be out of books to read while I’m out.

[faithberwick]

white liberal performative art

This is sort of a continuation of my first post about Bo Burnhams Inside Netflix special. There was a video on my YouTube recommended that I had been avoiding watching for a while called “Bo Burnhams Inside and White Liberal Performative Art.” Truthfully, I had chosen to ignore it because Bo’s special had an effect on me and I didn’t want to see that challenged. However, this video really helped me check my defensiveness and understand where that comes from. 

What is white liberal performative art? (WLPA): “any art form that presents a world view that is intrinsically white, intrinsically liberal, and is very self aware of that fact” (F.D. Signifier). Performative wokeness is creating distance between yourself and the problem at hand to signal that you’re working to resist systems of oppression while reprieving the guilt and dread you have deep down. An example of this is the safety pin pussy hat thing that happened in 2016 after Trumps election. These symbolic pins had good intention in theory, but was inherently created for white women & did nothing to benefit the actual problem at hand. And now we see corporations and pop stars incorporating woke symbology into their products, making it hard to tell whats a marketing strategy and what’s real. For a long time, I felt as a white person that it was my responsibility to speak and lead the way for systemic change. But are the things that we’re doing even moving the needle a little bit? Definitely not. The Facebook banners, the retweets, the supportive t-shirts. It helps us separate the problem from us. When we call racism evil, we mythologize it, and step away from it. We say it’s evil. But racism isn’t a person we’re fighting. It is a system. “Racism isn’t evil, evil isn’t real, racism is” (F.D). And I can only hope that changing our lens on that can make the pill easier to swallow that we all have internalized racism inside of us, even if we don’t say the n-word.

The beginning of Inside starts with “Comedy”, a casual/self-reflective perspective of “How can I make things better?” The end of Inside however, ends in ego death (or Nihilism) with “All Eyes on Me” where the only way to fix the problem is to lose everything you’ve learned to appreciate (i.e: my fav chicken sandwich company funds conversion therapy, my iPhone comes from a sweatshop, my fav anime promotes pedophilia). How can you be white and still be a good person when you know you are part of the problem? I don’t think this awakening is a bad thing. In Bo’s song “How the World Works”, Socko the puppet has a line that goes “Why do you rich fucking white people insist on seeing every social-political conflict through the myopic lens of your own self-actualization?” While I do feel that Bo is guilty of WLPA, he definitely has more of a beat on it than most people. However, this doesn’t make him any better or any less part of the problem. Self awareness doesn't absolve anyone of anything. Near the end of the video F.D. made a really groundbreaking point. A lot of white people don’t actively hate people of color, but the way we live is still negatively affecting them. And theres a question of whether we really WANT to lose all these privileges or whether we just feel guilty. Working through this guilt is definitely the first step for me. 

By no means did I make this post to educate anyone. If anything this is a space for me to educate myself and organize my thoughts after taking in both of these pieces of content to help me understand and come to terms with how I feel and where those feelings are coming from. It’s a way for me to identify my own racism and how I contribute to the problem, even though for a long time I thought I didn’t. I think I am going to try to write more about content so I can look back on it and be more intentional with what I’m consuming and how I’m handling that information afterwards.