#hate to love love to hate

[rreskk]

Before the storm

CHAPTER 7: Luring him in. 

Summary: You experienced his five stages of grief... One of them being lust. 

TW: Smut

‘Chapter 6′--> HERE ‘Hate to love, love to hate’--> HERE

As expected, you woke up before him. You’d understand as Trevor snorted God knows how much cocaine before asking to sleep in the same bed. Turns out, he’s a deep sleeper as well. He’s lights out, even when the curtains are open and the beaming sunshine is devouring your duvet completely. The sun eliminated his sleepy face, his eyes dreamfully closed and mouth tipped slightly open. He looked peaceful; something you wished he looked more often.

You sighed and refused to admire his appearance anymore.

You were slumped on the edge of your bed, staring down at your hands in self-abhor. Bidding your heart that you’ll get over him, the true feelings locked away is opposing; threating, and deceiving your smothered emotions. There was a mental battle between fight and flight over this one man… This… This one man!- Who’s turned up out of nowhere. This guy you met and found zero interest in. Now he’s the resort to all your internal pressures. If only the other guys knew how the night went for you. You’d wish Lester was more sensitive but you easily recognised his concerns, the same with Brad… Even Michael. Whatever happened between him and Trevor, you need to know. You need to know every single detail of this dirtbag who’s sleeping away his hangover in your bedsheets. The audacity he has to play around with you like a puppet. Even if he’s innocent with his words, you despise how attached you are to him.

“Mhmm, what am I going to do about you?” You muttered under your breath while observing the sunny gaze upon his slightly tanned skin.

That made you think. You’ve noticed the tilt to his skin, even though North Yankton is possibly one of the coldest states in America. If it was his natural skin colour… You wouldn’t have a scientific explanation for it. Despite his life-style, his skin was so healthy looking; brown, smooth, soft, and delicate. His face was beautifully cared for as well. Would he have a skin-care routine? Absolutely not. From your judgements, he doesn’t even wash his skin… Yet it was flawless. You rolled your eyes and called it luck. The bitterness in your thoughts filtering the moral compass you followed. Maybe you were too harsh on him… Why were you?

You sighed. It would be best to ponder these questions when he isn’t sleeping in your own bed.

The surface moved and you whipped your head round. Trevor was barely sitting up. He was rubbing both eyes while his back was stabilised by the wall. You disturbed the peace.

“Morning, Trevor.”

He took some time to adjust throughout the natural lighting of the room and grumbled, “Hey.”

Trevor was sour looking. He sat there for a few minutes cringing to himself. You’d expect it to be the hangover.

“Headache?”

He nodded.

“Want some painkillers?” You asked again.

Trevor sighed, “A few.”

You went to retreat them when he reached forward.

“Wait.”

You turned back and he was looking at you with clear eyes.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“It’s alright,” You smiled.

“No, I mean like… Urh, I hate myself.” He moped in his hands.

Unchallenged by his ‘morning after’ reaction, you stood there in solitude. Trevor’s hands travelling from his cheeks to hair, ripping out the locks as he squeezed his eyes shut; obviously harming himself on purpose. You quickly untangled the knots from his fingers and restricted him from further pain.

“Hey,” You softly spoke, “It’s alright. Come on, come here…” You offered your vacant arms and he bluntly fell into them. His nostrils inhaled your scent before he began bawling his eyes out. You held him close.

“I-I hate myself!” The broken man continued.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Having experience with breakdowns before, you were professional in your knowledge. You cradled his shaky figure and rubbed his back in slow circles, whispering affirmations in his ear.

“I try and be a nice person but I can’t help the temptations!” Trevor wailed. He sniffed sharply, “I try my best, I-I really do!”

“I know Trevor, I know-”

“But even Mikey or Bradley don’t care about me! I go outta my way for them… Sometimes I make a scene b-but I can’t help it. I wish I can stop it. I wish I-I can just fuckin’ stop!”

You heard heartbreak spill from his drooly mouth. Without being honest, you were distraught by his confession. You remained quiet as you tried to process his words. Trevor’s unhappiness determined your own. Suddenly, you couldn’t fight back your tears. As they trembled down your cheek; Trevor’s cries dampened your already damp shirt, gaining no use of it no more.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”

You croaked out, “Trevor, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

He lifted his head up to face you. The way his eyes sorrowfully narrowed when seeing your unwellness. Trevor held out his hands and began wiping away your tears. He completely ignored his own.

“Trevor…”

“I am sorry,” He whispered.

“Trevor, it’s okay.” You painfully smile.

The man’s lips quivered. He folded himself back into your arms and hugged you. You faced a number of reasons to shame yourself at this moment. How moments ago you were judging him spitefully as he slept… Now you were cuddling this man like your life depended on it. If he would of known your thoughts, may God have Mercy on your soul… You’d be seen as evil, a dark witch, a soulless creature! Trevor would be betrayed and appalled; adding to the list as the days would pass from the second you met him.

“I’m such an ass… I hate myself, I hate myself, I HATE MYSELF!”

“Trevor,” You insisted, “Shh… It’s okay, I’m here.”

He nodded while shaking under your touch.

“Will you be here for me? All the time? Will you ever leave me?” The depth to his questions made you shudder. His attachment worsens whenever you’d bond, and you knew this… You couldn’t stop it though.

“As long as you want me to, I’ll be here.”

It felt like you were promising yourself to the Devil. Trevor’s chin rested against your chest, pleading you with the eyes of a broken soul. The uncertainty behind his dangerous mask lifted your hopes that maybe… Maybe Trevor is worthwhile. You couldn’t pinpoint the change of heart but the closer you got to his lips, the more you felt at home. When you kissed him, the tensity of his body flustered and disappeared. Suddenly you felt him adjust from under your arms. While you enclosed your mouths again, moaning throughout the kiss, Trevor held a steady hand behind your head and gently leaned you down. You sunk into the white sheets until you broke away. Now you could see.

Trevor was hovering over you, mouth red from your hungry touch. He was looking between your eyes, wonder fulfilling his mind. You didn’t have a rational thought behind it… You lost all character and yanked him down, planting soft pecks upon his damp cheek and jaw. He muffled a moan through the affections.

“If we do this,” He whispered, “Are you going to runaway after?”

The sincerity behind his inquiry hooked your attention. You lied there as the sunshine burnt the skin upon your arms and neck. You gave him a ready look, a smile of charm and mercy. He sniffled a grin back.

“Every time I try and run away from you, Trevor. I always come back.”

“I know.”

“Why worry?” You ask.

“What if you don’t come back?”

Frail as a child can be, Trevor wanted an answer and you provided something more promising. You trailed sly nibbles down his neck, crossing the Adams-apple that daunted you from the beginning. He trembled.

“[Y/n],” He breathed, “What if you don’t…”

“I know you now. I can see you, Trevor. The last thing I’d do is run.”

“Are you sure?”

You held his face, “I’m positive.”

It was so strange being honest with your feelings but you had to. The guy is in your bed. He slept in your bed. He’s kissed you. You’ve seen him cry. You’ve seen him sob. You’ve seen him smile. Like it helped, seeing him so open with himself made you more attracted to him. When you’ve first met Trevor, you saw him as a stuck-up nicotine addict hilly billy. Although he partially is, he’s so much more. He’s managed to change your perception of him.

Trevor’s moustache twitched as he smiled. He leaned his head down and kissed you once more. It began so delicate and sweet. When you both figured it wasn’t enough, it began getting sloppy and heated. Trevor began groping you. His hands squeezing your stomach, your thighs, your ass. He was selfish with his touches. You grown accustomed to it, and liked it.

“Trevor,” You inhaled.

He was abusing your collarbone with his lips and mumbled something under the lines of ‘What’. You arched your back as he went lower.

“Mhm, fuck-“

He approached the top of your breasts. He signalled for your consent, exchanging a blushed face. You nodded and sat up. Trevor helped you take off your shirt and sucked in his lips when you unclipped your bra. He gulped.

“You are so beautiful, so fuckin’… Perfect.”

One hand pushed against the mattress, the other holding your naked back. He scambled to your breasts and began praising them with his unholy activity. He sucked on your nipple, kissing your skin, licking between them. He had loved them in every way and you watched him intently. Soft moans escaped your lips throughout. It felt too good.

“Trevor, your shirt.”

He looked.

“Take it off.”

The demand was real and effective. He gave you a nod before ripping off the white T-shirt he wore. As it was threw across the floor, you observed his chest. He was hairy, perfectly hairy. You may see the ribs from his skinniness but he was tanned, goldenly tanned. The tone of his body was perfection. The hair that hiked from his belly button to his crotch, you licked your lips.

“Am I to your standard, ma’am?” He whispered.

Standard.

You coughed out a laugh before enchanting him with your kisses again. Trevor cooly grinned and returned his hands to your body. He felt all over until he hovered between your thighs. You noticed his hesitation.

“I’m ready.” You affirmed.

Trevor’s fingers hooked on the hem of your shorts, pulling them down your thigh as he unravelled the sight of your wetness. He whinged like a boy.

“Ohh, you are so beautiful. I-“ He stopped and bent down; his breathing hitched and eyes watering with strain. Trevor’s ghostly tongue slivered across your inner thigh until it reached to your sex. He kissed it and you gasped for air.

“Fuck…”

He chuckled, the impact of heat destroying you.

“Stop fuckin’ teasing, Trevor.” You groaned.

“Yes, ma’am.” Trevor whispered and crawled over to your face, “I won’t keep you waiting…”

You stared into his eyes before hearing his belt clinch and rattle. It’s finally happening. You peered down and you forgot how to breathe. Trevor’s underwear was dangling around his knees, his full erection facing you with uneasy temptation. He panted as the fresh air cradled his cock.

“You ready, sugar?” He smirked.

You nodded eagerly and opened your legs. He positioned himself, giving you one last kiss before thrusting into you. It happened. When he broke through, you both animalistically moaned. Being stripped naked, almost sweating, minutes after watching each other cry; you were being fucked by him. And what do you think about it…?

You love it.

“Mhm, yes!” You praised Trevor as he crashed his hips against yours, looking up to see your reaction like he’s trying to make you proud. The senseless tongue hung out of his moist mouth. He was preaching upon your body like a wild dog, nibbling, teasing, licking every inch of your skin.

You’d claw at his back when he grew in pace. The bed beneath you both shook and ruffled against the wall. Luckily you had no neighbours… As if that would of stopped him anyway. Kissing him has become a ridiculed crime. Resting your foreheads together- you revised Lester’s insensitive statements and felt anger rise. Reddening in the face due to the mistreatment Trevor received yesterday, you smothered your hands against his neck and wished time would pause so you could devour the feeling of this pleasure. He growled surreally when you attempted to choke him. He brought his hips forward again, this time playing rough. The thrusts were so eager and harsh that you whole body would slam against the mattress.

“FUCK!” You cry.

“I wanted to- FUCK, Baby… Oh my God,” He whimpered; losing his grip on domination, “I fuckin’ love you!”

He needs, he wants, he desires. His mental capacity cannot handle the sexual drive he’s experiencing. Trevor’s glassy eyes upturned towards your face of ecstasy. He choked.

“I-I’m gonna cum.”

Your whole body was glimpsing with sweat. Trevor trembled forward, pulling out just in time for his cock to cum all over your stomach. As the hot fluids painted your chest, his eyes were squeezed shut, screaming poetic terms.

“Fuucckkk! I can see the void!”

Trevor had a voice crack in between. The weakness of how he fails to comply and hold in his orgasm, you were impressed. You took a mental note; deciding to play around with his issue… In the future. However, presently, you were growing impatient.

You whinged, “Baby, I’m almost close,” Hoping he wouldn’t collapse.

Trevor was struggling to breathe but nodded at your obey. He crawled down to your clit and pushed in two of his lanky fingers. He teasingly changes the speed as he’d finger you, smirking when you’d cry out his name. Your arms dangled around his shoulders, finding something to squeeze whenever it got too heated. You were soon detached when Trevor was based between your legs, talking dirty to your pussy until the moment you’d cum.

“TREVOR-“ You wailed.

His fingers were coated with it. His droopy eyes caught yours. You analysed how he brought the fingers to his mouth, licking away your fluids, just how you’d expect him to lick a lolly pop.

“You taste so good,” He remarked; gradually smiling.

Recovering from the sacred journey of loving each other, you chuckled silently and sighed when your legs managed to relax after shaking through your climax. Trevor massaged your thighs when noticing the beaten sigh. Something about his caring nature intertwined with your crush on him. He was naked, length dangling between his thighs. You were lying there in front of him, his cum still running around on your stomach; yet he focusses on your health and wellbeing.

“Was it good enough for you?” Trevor smirked.

You were mute, nodding your head.

He winked, “Mhm, you look beautiful. Always have,” He reached forward and moved a single strand of hair away from your face, “You were so good. So fuckin’ hot.”

“Trevor,” You complained with a smile on your face.

“You can’t deny it!”

“Just come back to bed, please? I need to clean my chest thou-”

Trevor perked up at your suggestion. He interrupted almost immediately.

“No, we shall cuddle. I don’t care that you still have my cum on you. It’s sexy.”

Knowing there was no point in cleaning as your bed was already mangled by your sweat and tears combined, you gave up. Motioning to the space beside you, Trevor dived into it within a second. His erratic energy back to normal.

“I am loving this morning so far, sugar.” He said with pure admiration.

You smiled, “I’m glad we made it up from last night.”

Mentioning last night did hit a nerve as he’d cringe. You held his hand carefully to encourage how time has moved on.  

“Yeah. Shit, the guys. I bet they are running my phone.” Trevor muttered.

“You have plans with them today?”

“Yeah, like… In an hour or so. What time is it?”

You checked the alarm clock beside you. It was 11am. Trevor could see from afar and grumbled.

“In a few hours.”

You settled back into the sheets, “You still have time to cuddle.”

“I want more time to cuddle.” Trevor pouted.

“Be grateful that you have time.”

He mimicked your lecture before laughing. You just rolled your eyes.

“Nahh, I’m kiddin’. You’re right. We have more than enough time to sit back and relax.” His voice trailing off.

Having no schedule for this day, you were comfortable enough lounging around. Trevor would be explaining his current understanding of the heist he’s planning with the guys. He was so passionate and excited about it, all this talk on ‘cash prize’ and ‘loaded stacks’ that you held in a giggle. This is the same guy who cried to you, fucked you, now talking about his estimation of the money he may earn. It made you laugh. He grew so irrational with it that it turned philosophical. While engaging you in discussions surrounding economy or society, you grew a perfect understanding of how his mind works. He is unhinged, but he has a depth to his actions… And it made sense. You sat there, naked, actually agreeing to his words. That’s crazy! He’s crazy! You’re crazy?

“-people exaggerate us like animals! The working class is in shambles due to the economy and American hierarchy! The patriarchal system these men follow-“ Trevor was interrupted when the clock striked 12pm. You jumped out of your skin.

“What the fuck?” He sadly exclaimed, “I have to leave now? Fuck that shit!”

“No, no. You go, I’ll be here.”

“But I’m already here.”

“Trevor, go.” You commanded.

Trevor raised his eyebrows before smirking, “Yes ma’am…” He stumbled out of your bed, collecting the pieces of clothes that were scattered across your bedroom. He peered over again, “Gimme a call later, sweet cheeks. I can’t wait long enough after this morning.”

Your dressing gown was loosely around your skin. You were stood outside the door, shivering at the impact of North Yankton’s weather. Trevor was hiking down your driveway and towards the taxi he called. You saw him turn back and give you a wink. ‘Weirdo’ you’d think, assessing his movements. The swagger walk and how he swiftly climbs onto the backseat. You could even tell from his physical language that well… He’s a manic. Trevor’s taxi drove away and down the street. You waited until he was out of sight… And now you were alone in your home. Alone with your thoughts.

[jerrycummblr]

It's really simple. If you're born with a vagina and you naturally have elevated testosterone levels, you're a man. If you have a vagina and you take testosterone, you're a woman. But also if you have a vagina, you'll never be a man. But also if you have higher testosterone then you were never a woman. Woman never yes man a vagina testosterone no was an elevated. Vagina man.

[scionsthings]

Rewatching Arcane

[cloud-ya]

outcast of the village

[lesbxdyke]

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

[squidflavoredsoup]

mama n her babies

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

[wheelie-sick]

"oh, I live in a desert and-"

"wow that must be so terrible" "deserts are so ugly" "I would never want to live in a wasteland like that" "it's just empty nothingness"

wishing 10,000 exploding hammers upon you

behold New Mexico

[ID 1: tall, snowcapped rocky mountains rising above a plain filled with desert scrub

ID 2: brightly colored banded cliff walls of several mesas climbing their way into mountains

ID 3: a desert prairie

ID 4: colorful hoodoos against a twilight sky

ID 5: white sand dunes as far as the eye can see

ID 6: a collection of hoodoos against a stormy sky at sunset

ID 7: a juniper tree standing with a cliff wall in the background

ID 8: several juniper trees on a rocky landscape]

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[dragoncarrion]

Fucking hate ai bitches this shit is poisoning my search results just like that tumblr baby crow post fuck y'all for real

[bambiali]

[cloudyydraws]

UY! PHILIPPINES!!!! PHILIPPINES!!!!

[gorgo4ne]

Can the guy at the bottom kill himself or something

[taeggukxiie]

this art will always make me want to bawl my eyes out because what do you mean we could have pro hero touya and health assistant toga only if they had decent parents??

(I hate mha society so much)

[pinkgelpen444]