#has to cope with. its so clear she loves him so much she talked about how much he knows about star wars and how he wants to play d&d

[andromedasummer]

man i just had a wonderful conversation with this old couple in a cafe that went from us talking about our dogs to the importance of accessibility in schools and encouragement of autistic students

[amongemeraldclouds]

Firewhiskey Confessions

After drinking to cope with your heartbreak, you find a reliable confidante to spill your guts to. Except, he is not who he seems.

Soft!Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Warning: alcohol, fluff, no use of y/n

Author’s note: Just a silly idea, this is unserious. Official entry for @thatdammchickennugget's Hogmarch challenge, prompt 2.

✿ Masterlist | 810 words

I never drank. Obviously, anyone can do what they want with their kidneys. I just didn’t like the idea of slurring my words or tilting gravity for fun, and I preferred to keep my mind sharp.

And yet, my world had tilted anyway without alcohol to blame.

As for my sharp mind? Well, here at Mattheo’s birthday party, all that precious sharp mind has done is hack away at my heart. So screw it. I need a drink.

I grab a shot of firewhiskey as a tray passes by and down it in one gulp, wincing. Well, no one drinks alcohol for its taste. I shake it off and move to the nearest tray for another shot. 

Five shots in, I feel flushed and ready for gravity to tilt, a familiar occurrence at this point. I sneak off to another room when I see Mattheo greeting his guests, laughter pealing and glasses clinking. Everyone is having a great time. Yay! 

In the quiet of the receiving area, I wrap my arm across a coated gentleman for support. “Avoiding the party too, huh?”

When he doesn’t reply, I continue. “Well, don’t worry. I’m not judging you. You see I,” I say, pointing at myself for emphasis, “am avoiding Mattheo. Why did I come to his party only to avoid him, you ask? Well one might say, I don’t make very smart decisions.”

I blink, trying to catch my train of thought.

“You seem to be a very good listener,” I ponder, bringing my face closer to his shoulder since he’s too tall for me to reach his ear. “Can I tell you a secret? But ssshhhh you can’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”

“I’m in love with Mattheo Riddle and I screwed it all up. Last week, he kissed me during a game of spin the bottle and I just knew there was nothing friendly about the kiss. So what did I do? Confess my long harbored feelings for my best friend like an emotionally intelligent woman?”

“Pssh, nah,” I wave it off.

“Remember, I don’t make smart decisions. What I did was ignore him for a week and then act like nothing happened. By the time I stopped ignoring him, he already had a girlfriend so I’m avoiding him again. I’ll spare you the details, but she’s wonderful. Can’t even hate her if I tried. They’re going to make gorgeous pureblood babies and live happily ever after. I’m so happy for them, but why couldn’t it have been me?” I hiccup.

“Answer me,” I poke at his side.

Instead, I hear an amused voice behind me. “Why are you talking to a coat?”

“I’m not talking to a coat, you’re talking to a coat,” I turn and point at…oh, Mattheo.

“Darling, why are you drinking?” He says, moving towards me.

I blink. “Why do you think I’m talking to a coat?”

“Because you are,” he deadpans. 

Oh. I step back and take a good look at my companion. I sway and Mattheo catches me. “Why do you hang your coats on mannequins instead of racks like everyone else?”

“In case you didn’t notice, I live in a mansion. Not like everyone else either,” he explains patiently like he’s talking to a child.

“Come on, you’re drunk. Let’s take you to my room to rest,” he says guiding me.

I focus my attention on staying upright. When we reach his room, he helps me lay down his bed and hands me a glass of water to help me sober up.

“How much of that did you hear?” I ask when my mind clears up a little.

“Do you want the truth or do you want to save yourself from embarrassment?” He asks.

I groan and bury my head in my hands.

He places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Well if you must know, I don’t have very friendly feelings towards you either, it’s more than that. But when you started ignoring me, I thought you didn’t like me.”

I look at him then and tilt my head, confused.

“Darling, if you stopped avoiding me, I would have very easily told you that I’m only fake dating to help save a friend from a toxic ex-boyfriend,” he explains.

“Wait,” I feel the gears in my head spinning. It’s rusty, but we’re getting there. “So you don’t have a girlfriend and you’re in love with me too?”

“In short, yes,” he says gently.

“Huh,” I grin. “That worked out well, I should drink more.”

“Absolutely not,” Mattheo protests. And then, “really? That’s your takeaway?” He shakes his head, covering me with the blanket. 

I close my eyes with a satisfied smile and sink into the soft, cozy sheets. As I drift off to sleep, I distantly hear Mattheo say, “get rest, we’ll talk more tomorrow,” and faintly feel him kiss my forehead.

[jenatwork]

I finally finished my Utena re-watch yesterday, binging the last three episodes and Adolescence in one evening, and I am Having Thoughts. Mostly about the story from Akio's perspective, surprisingly.

I don't know if I've ever read anyone's exploration of the story from his pov, so I'm going to brain-vomit about it.

From his pov, he's the one who's trapped. The Rose Bride sealed Dios away from the world, whether for his own good or to keep her brother to herself, or both. The princely part of him, Dios, is trapped, leaving only the human part of him, Akio, out in the world, trying to regain what he's lost and cope without what he sees as his 'real' power. 'The power to revolutionise the world' is, for him, the regaining of his heroic princely aspect that made him something close to a god among mortals, a natural leader, the greatest warrior.

So what is he left with? What does a regular human man have with which to find his place in the world? What is his role, if not a prince? Is he a ladies' man? An intellectual? A fighter? A logical realist who denies the 'miracles' the prince could perform to keep people safe?

It's clear from the Black Rose arc, and from the final scenes, that Akio has repeated the duels in some form many times, assuming that he needs the right sword to open the Rose Gate and access his old power. He holds this 'might makes right' belief that physical strength or a warrior's weapon is the key to power. When Utena, just a girl, succeeds as the winner of the duels, at first he tries to persuade her to stand down, because how could a girl's sword possibly be strong enough to open the Gate? I wondered, during this watch, if this cycle was the first time that any girls had taken part in the duels, and whether that was by design or accidental. In the Black Rose arc, it's 100 boys who are drawn in to find the power or the eternal something. In this latest cycle, it's the student council, a power structure that represents intellectual masculinity: Juri, as a lesbian in a uniform closer to her male counterparts than to the other female students, might possibly have been the first girl to join the duels, an unintentional outcome perhaps inspired by Mikage, who was more easily tempted by a boy than by that boy's older sister. She still represented an aspect of masculinity in her own way, as the logical realist who denies miracles. Likewise, Nanami joins the duels initially to stand in for her brother, and leaves when she is confronted by how damaging the system is to the very people it's supposed to protect.

I wondered if perhaps Utena was never meant to join the duels. If Dios had meant to find Touga and Saionji on that particular day, and stumbled on Utena because they did. If Utena joining and winning the duels was never part of Akio's plan, and that's why he, and all the others, are so perplexed by her and never figure out how to get the better of her. Akio tries to force her into the role of 'Girl' because all he knows is playing the role of 'Man', and what else is a man supposed to do with a girl besides protect her or seduce her?

Utena succeeds because, for all her talk about wanting to be a prince to rescue girls, she gives up that roleplay and acts of of genuine love and compassion. She succeeds in besting the Rose Bride's curse because she doesn't approach it like a man, trying to seduce, fight, or logic her way through, but by loving Anthy and by having the compassion to want to end her pain.

Utena is still very much about smashing the patriarchy (literally in the case of Adolescence), but in its own way it also artfully deconstructs the ways in which patriarchy hurts men too, by limiting the roles available to them. Utena offers an alternative to the masculine roles of warrior, lover, intellectual and cynic, as well as to the feminine role of princess. The student council recognise it in the end, but Akio never does, because he is so utterly stuck in his role. That's why Anthy gets to leave at the end, telling him he's the one that's trapped, because Utena showed her that she, and we, can choose our own roles.

[dirtytransmasc]

Modern (platonic) Alicole/Stepdad Criston hc's

Alicent and Criston became close friends as a means to cope with past traumas at the hands of Viserys and his family. they were the only ones who understood what happened to them and how they were trapped.

Criston being absolutely enamoured by her first two kids, who were still so little and helpless. forming a tight bond with the two, stepping up as their father when Viserys couldn't have cared less about them.

Criston claimed those kids as his own in his heart the day he met them.

Criston helping take care of the two through Alicent's last two pregnancies. being found more often than not with a kid on his hip, snuggles up against his chest, and another leading him through her favorite spot in the garden.

Criston being by her side, helping her with everything, from buying groceries, cooking dinner, cleaning, volunteering to watch the kids during the day, helping with bath time and putting them down for naps/the night. he becomes a second parent just cause he wants to.

Alicent demands that he be allowed in the room with her when she's delivering her last two kids. She wants to hold the hand of the only person she trusts when she's going through actual agony. Criston almost causes a scene when they take her away for a c section due to Aemond's labor being too difficult, and not being allowed to follow. being right back by her side the very second he's allowed.

Alicent letting him hold Aemond first, as she was too weak and tired to do it herself, and Criston swearing himself to the boy before he can even fully take him from the nurse.

Cristons support rising tenfold with the newest addition.

Criston starts sleeping on her couch so he can help with the nightshift. more often than not he's got at least one of the two elder children tucked in his side or sleeping on his chest.

Alicent suggesting he just moves in at that point and clearing out an old room for him to stay in. she secretly feels safer and saner when he's around, though she'll say its for his and the kids' sake.

Alicent making sure its in her birth plan that Criston stays with her no matter what happens with her delivery of Daeron so she won't be alone again.

the pair fleeing with the kids the second Viserys dies, moving at least a few counties over, away from the memories. Criston tries to live on his own, to give her and the kids space, but Alicent is not having that and almost demands that they stay together, they're family now and the kids need him, she needs him. it doesn't take much convincing, and they end up in a spacious suburban home with a yard and good school district.

Criston being called dad by the youngest 3 kids, but not by Aegon, who has a negative association with the titles, as he's never met a good father figure in his life. Criston making sure the boy doesn't feel bad about it and that he feels equally loved.

Criston staying up all night with sick kids, rubbing their backs and kiss their foreheads to check their temperatures. running out in the middle of the night for cough syrup and gatorade.

Criston sitting at the dinner table doing math homework, glasses, scrunchy face, and all.

Criston taking Helaena to her schools daddy daughter dances, only to sit on the floor in a back corner and talk about bugs. he knows she doesn't want to go to the dance itself, just likes what it represents. she likes going with her dad.

Criston going to all of Aemond's fencing tournaments and all of Daeron's sports events, coaching little league, being the loudest guy in the stands.

pushing Aegon to tap into his potential, getting him into all sorts of little hobbies and activities, not letting him give up on himself.

has to answer the "well are you the dad?" question all the time. he claims those kids as his every time, saying that not being their legal father or the fact that Aegon doesn't call him dad, won't ever change that.

after a couple years of staying together, Alicet and Criston join a civil union, not wanting the weight of marriage or all the questions that people who don't know better will ask, and they have the kids with them. Aemond tucked behind his mum's leg, Helaena holding onto her dress with one hand and Criston's finger in her other, Aegon's standing behind her, shifting between seeking his mom's affection and Cristons, resting his head on their shoulders, with Daeron on Criston's hip. everyone's tearing up just a bit. Criston's looking at his soulmate and at her children with such adoration. Alicent's feels truly secure for the first time in her life. all is well.

the topic of adoption came up time and time again, a complicated and touchy subject. its not necessarily that any party was against it, it just felt like something Criston could not ask of Alicent, to claim her children as his own in a literal, legal, weight-bearing sense. he also felt it was something he couldn't ask of the children, to officially accept him as their father and legal guardian. but on Aegon's 17th birthday, it comes up again, and its Aegon who asks him to; his eldest boy, with all of his issues with being open and vulnerable, reaching out into uncharted territory, asking him to adopt him? how could he even think of refusing?

he fights to adopt those kids as quickly as possible, while also making sure all of them, especially Aegon, see their therapists about the whole thing (both Alicent and Criston are acting as cycle breakers for both themselves and their kids, they're all in therapy).

held Aegon's hand all throughout rehab, holding him accountable where he needed to be and made sure he put the work in, but he was a very supportive person for him through the whole thing. especially cause Aegon was worried about hurting his mom more than he already had, and hated seeing her worry about him. probably the only reason he got through it all.

Helps Helaena with her studies and coping with school and the idea of life away from home and at college. cheered her on all through her studies as she studied in different fields to find her true passion.

when Aemond loses his eye (get creative, I don't feel like figuring out a how in this situation) he's there for occupational therapy, every time, doesn't matter what he had to call out of or miss out on. didn't let him feel like he was odd or behind, he was his perfect boy through and through.

dog dad, got each of the kids there own dog. Aegon for his recovery (some shaggy retriever mix Aegon fell in love with while doing community service at the pound), Helaena for something to take to college (a majestic Weimaraner), Aemond to help cope with his eyes (a big old Irish wolfhound tha practically mothers him, Daeron got one so he had a running partner that might actually keep up with him (a Dalmation). Criston helps take care of all of them and loves them just as much as his human children. lets just say that house is chaos and full of hair. Alicent is very happy with her cat, who loves her and tolerates everyone else. [for the dogs I picked a breed I felt best fit both their dragons but also their personality and reason for getting a dog. Aemonds was the hardest to decide on and I'm iffy on it I like it but oh well]

takes the kids out on daddy daughter/father son dates on the regular. normally Aegon just wants to watch a movie, but he has asked to go to a stripclub more times than criston can count (and vetoed). he's tired. he loves his son he swears. Helaena will ask to go to a museam or garden. Aemond and Daeron will settle for any sort of physical activity (so long as its followed by a sweet of some sort, ice cream is a personal favorite for the three).

the kids and Criston make sure to spoil their mom on mother's day. flowers, breakfast in bed, lots of cuddles, a day to do whatever she pleases.

he gets the kids to to church for their mother, makes sure they're polite and well mannered, especially when they were younger. its possibly the only time he is strict with them.

still tucks the kids in every night. Aegon's 19.

[steddieas-shegoes]

The top of your blog says you're still taking requests,no pressure though of course: Eddie lives through the events of s4 and heals in the hospital, his name is cleared, Eddie spends his time with his uncle and his friends, plays games. He notices that Steve sort of remains on the back burner, shows up to little gatherings but keeps himself at a distance, busies himself with small tasks. Keeps the focus on Eddie, and is content to sort of stare at everyone, and not join in. Eddie gets worried and asks Robin whats up with Steve, why does he keep just standing in the corner or the kitchen smiling instead of joining in, I think he's bumming the kids out, Robin. And she has to calmly, and frightfully, remind him that Steve died over spring break. What are you talking about he's right there! I'd love a Ghost Steve who doesn't want to move on, wants to stay with his family. Doesn't want to be alone. Eddie is the only one who can see him at first(?)

OKAY SO THIS WAS SAD AS SHIT AND I LOVE THIS PREMISE. I especially love it because I have read A LOT of ghost Eddie fics, some where he was actually dead and some where it was a weird Upside Down thing and he was alive. I'm a big believer in happy endings so I went full speed ahead with the latter option for Steve. But since you requested ghost Steve not wanting to move on, I had to switch it up a bit to where Eddie couldn't just let it go. Still plenty of sad, but I had to make it hopeful and happy at the end because I am me. - Mickala ❤️

----------------------------------------------

While Eddie was in the hospital, it felt like he was in a bubble. His uncle was the only one allowed to visit for the first week, and then the kids were able to come by when his name was cleared.

They weren’t themselves, a cloud of sadness around them, but that was to be expected with everything that had happened.

Dustin, especially, clung to him more than he expected.

He figured it would be rough, he did almost die, after all, but this was on another level.

Dustin was with him every day for hours, sometimes had to be dragged out by his mom who understood, but only in the way a person who doesn’t know about the Upside Down could.

Robin came by sometimes, a haunted look on her face, none of her usual energy anywhere to be seen.

He managed to get her to crack a small smile twice.

When he left the hospital, things somehow felt worse.

The government had provided him and Wayne a new trailer, nowhere near the trailer park, even managed to get Wayne a new truck since Eddie’s van had been destroyed and Wayne’s truck was on its last leg for the last year.

His name was cleared, but that didn’t mean people changed their mind about him.

He mostly stayed at home, didn’t even attempt to go to the store with Wayne or anywhere but Dustin’s house or the Byers’.

The kids started begging for normalcy in whatever ways they could: meeting up for movie night, bringing Hellfire back, dinner at the Byers’ house.

Eddie was on board with it, wanted to put everything in the past just as much as they did.

He went to movie night, at Robin’s house while her parents were out of town instead of at Steve’s.

Steve, who hadn’t visited him once while he was in the hospital, hadn’t made it to any hangouts with the kids, apparently was coping with everything by ignoring everyone.

Eddie would have to do something about it soon because the kids were clearly missing him.

Movie night was okay, but he decided to have the next one at his house.

He told Dustin to let everyone know, didn’t think he had to be specific about everyone.

Steve didn’t show up on time, which was unusual since he was usually Dustin and Lucas’ ride. They rode with Nancy and Mike.

Everyone settled in, Eddie started the movie and passed out popcorn, waved goodbye to Wayne on his way out the door to his night shift.

Everything felt okay, but without Steve, it didn’t feel right.

Eddie could admit to himself he had a crush on him. He had one on him in high school, but that was easy to ignore when he was an asshole.

Now, he knew Steve was a good guy, protected these kids and Robin and Nancy with his life and didn’t hesitate even when he should.

It wasn’t just a crush anymore, he realized that while he was in the hospital. It was full blown feelings. Love.

Eddie sat in Wayne’s recliner in the corner, keeping an eye on everyone through the movie. He glanced over to the kitchen and saw movement, but didn’t think anything of it.

They paused the movie halfway through for bathroom breaks and refills on snacks and drinks, and Eddie followed all the kids into the kitchen to get his own beer.

He was startled when he turned the corner and saw Steve smiling at him from the corner.

He didn’t want to say anything, figured the kids had already said hello and he was just letting them get their stuff first.

But it was kind of weird that he’d come in the backdoor of a trailer he’d never visited when he easily could have come in the front door. Eddie watched as Steve leaned against the wall of the kitchen, watching everyone move around without saying anything.

It was weird, especially because the smile seemed to transform from a genuine one to a sad one quickly.

He didn’t want to draw attention to it, didn’t know how much Steve let the kids see usually, so he turned to grab his own snack from the counter.

Robin was standing there, staring at him, eyebrows pinched together.

“What were you looking at?”

“Uh,” Eddie glanced back over and saw Steve frowning now. “Steve? Looking like a kicked puppy in the corner?”

Robin’s face went from confused to worried in a millisecond.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Steve.” Eddie gestured towards where Steve was still standing, but now he looked panicked, like he wanted to interrupt. “Please feel free to make me not look insane, Steve.”

Robin glanced over to the corner, then back at Eddie, tears in her eyes.

“Eddie,” she said, voice sad, like she was about to break the worst news in the world to him. Then, she did. “Steve died. Remember? We had to leave him.”

That can’t be right. He could’ve sworn Steve was there when he was being pushed through the gate, when he gained just enough consciousness to look around and take inventory of the people around him. Steve was there.

“When did he die? He was at the…with the bats…he was at the trailer…right?”

Eddie looked back in the corner and saw Steve looking down at the floor.

And then Robin was pulling him into a hug.

“Nobody told you. They were supposed to tell you. And we-” she let out a sob. “We just haven’t talked about it. It’s hard to. Last time we tried, Dustin had to be given anxiety meds. I’m sorry, Eddie. He’s gone.”

She was crying through the explanation, almost too much for him to understand what she was saying.

But he watched as Steve wiped at his eyes in the corner.

Like he was crying. Like he was there.

He knew Robin wasn’t lying, she would never lie about something like this, and it would explain a lot of the behavior of everyone and Steve’s absence up until this point.

“Robbie, I-” Eddie didn’t know if it would help or hurt her to know he could see Steve right now. He made a decision based on the way Steve was watching them now, his eyes wide and sad, like he would be crying if he could. “I can see him right now.”

Robin pulled away, looked at him, then over at the corner.

“Right now? He’s there right now?”

Eddie nodded.

“Can you hear him say anything?”

“No, he hasn’t said anything. I don’t think he can.”

Steve was still just staring at them, and Eddie knew he was stuck.

If he was truly dead, he wasn’t moving on the way people do. If he wasn’t dead, then something super weird was happening and he would have to get help from everyone.

But he didn’t want to involve the kids, not for this. Because if Steve was dead, like they thought, and they went through the trouble of trying to find him, they’d be hurting all over again.

But if he wasn’t.

“Robin, were you sure he was dead? No pulse or breathing, no movement?”

Robin’s eyes widened.

“I mean, I guess as sure as we could be with how rushed and emotional we were? Nancy couldn’t find a heartbeat and he wasn’t moving, and we waited as long as we could, but he didn’t wake up. Do you think he isn’t dead?”

Steve was watching them, his fingers tapping against his arms that were crossed over his chest.

“How long can someone survive down there?”

“Eddie, look. I already talked to Hopper about it. He said even if somehow Steve managed to survive his injuries, they were bad enough that he would have probably been found by something and attacked. And even if he survived that, he’s been down there without food and water and clean oxygen for a month. The fact that Will survived a week was a miracle.”

He didn’t push. He could hear it in Robin’s voice that she’d already thought of every possible outcome, probably even tried to plan a rescue mission at some point.

She couldn’t take the disappointment either.

Eddie dropped it for now, but he watched as Steve watched him.

He just had a feeling that this was more complicated than Steve being dead.

—-----------------------

He let himself mourn that night.

While he didn’t feel like Steve was dead, he knew that no matter what, Steve had been missing from all their lives for a month.

He cried for hours, he cried for Steve, for Dustin, for Robin, for Max, for everyone who Steve loved so much that he died for them.

Himself included.

Because that’s what it came down to: Steve died protecting them.

They all took a risk, but Steve paid the price.

It wasn’t fair. The guy who put everyone first was the first one gone.

Eddie finally fell asleep, but it was restless. He kept getting flashes of Steve in his dreams, his face bloody, his body bloody, his screams loud.

Which was weird for a lot of reasons, one of them being that he didn’t know what injuries Steve even had when he died. The ghost he saw in his kitchen earlier had just been Steve, not bloodied or broken or scared.

When he managed to get up, he went through the motions of his day: brush his teeth, shower, eat breakfast, do his stretches, play guitar, eat lunch, clean up, talk to Wayne.

But by dinner, he felt like he had to do something. He had to figure out why he felt this buzzing energy around him.

He waited until Wayne left to get their dinner at the diner and bring it home, then he called Robin.

“Robin, is there a gate open somewhere?”

“Seriously, Eddie.”

“I just need to know! Maybe you’re right, in fact, you probably are. But what if you aren’t? What if he’s stuck down there? What if he’s too hurt to find a way back here?”

Robin was silent, but Eddie didn’t let that deter him.

“I know you guys were pretty sure. And I know you wouldn’t have left if you didn’t believe he was dead. But you said yourself you were emotional and overwhelmed and feeling rushed because of everything happening. It’s not that far of a stretch to believe that he could be alive.”

“Eddie.”

Her voice was broken.

She didn’t want to believe him.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Okay.”

“I know it’s hard. It’ll get easier, I hope. His parents just sold the house, and his car, so. He’s gone. We have to accept that.”

“Okay.”

But it wasn’t okay.

He hung up with Robin, promised he would try to get some sleep, take care of himself. It was a lie.

He ate dinner with Wayne, pretended he was doing alright, pretended he didn’t still hear the echoes of Steve’s screams in his head.

Wayne left early for work, claimed he was picking up some overtime due to them being short staffed still after the quake. He said he wouldn’t be home until nine the next morning.

Eddie nodded and pretended to head to his room for the night.

He did a lot of pretending until he was alone.

Then, he got on the phone with El.

El had gotten attached to him while Max was in a coma, stopping by to talk to him after she’d spent an hour or so with Max. She saw him as a cool older brother, especially when she realized Hopper wasn’t his biggest fan.

“I need to know if there’s a gate open.”

“Eddie, I do not know if I can help with that,” El responded slowly, carefully.

“What if I say it’s for a really good reason?”

“I am sure it is, but I promised Dad I would not open one.”

“But what if there’s one already open?”

“There is not. I would feel it.”

Eddie sighed. He didn’t want to make El break a promise, but this was worth it.

He knew Hopper would forgive her and him if he was right.

“Has Will mentioned feeling anything weird?”

Sometimes Will felt things that even El couldn’t, usually things happening only in the Upside Down. Everyone’s running theory was that it was because of the time he spent down there.

“No, he just feels the usual.”

“What’s the usual?”

“It is just there. Sometimes it is more there than other times.”

“And right now? It isn’t more than other times?”

“I think it is just always more than other times since Vecna.”

Hm. That could be something.

“Why does it feel like more sometimes?”

“It is hard to say. Sometimes it is nothing, sometimes it is because something is moving and trying to get out.”

“Is it always a creature?”

“It always was before.”

“El, I think Steve’s alive.”

There, he said it. He said it to someone who could probably actually help him, who would would help him if she believed him.

“Why do you think that? They said he was not breathing.”

“I know, but, look. Robin even said that they were being rushed and were crying and could have missed something.”

“But it has been a month.”

“I saw him. In the kitchen.” He hated saying this to one of the kids. They all loved Steve so much and if he was wrong, he really didn’t want this to hurt her. “At movie night. He was there, but only I could see him. Robin said maybe it was a ghost, but it seemed too real.”

“It was Steve?”

“Even if he’s de-,” Eddie stopped. “Gone. If his body is where it was left, it should be put to rest here. And if it isn’t, and he’s alive, then we can save him.”

“But we will get caught.”

“Not if we do it tonight. Hopper works nights this week, right?”

“Yes.”

“So he won’t be home to know you’re gone. Will is over at Dustin’s. Jonathan is so high, he won’t notice you’re gone. Joyce will be asleep by ten. You can sneak out.”

“What if you get hurt? I cannot go down there.”

That was a valid concern.

They defeated Vecna, and the Mindflayer hadn’t been a problem since, but that didn’t mean the other creatures weren’t still prowling around down there.

Out of all of them, he had the least experience with them, and she had every right to be worried.

“I can handle it. I’ll bring Steve’s bat.”

—------------------------

He met El in the woods behind the cabin they were staying in. Hopper had redone it, adding two bedrooms and a bathroom so they could all fit more comfortably.

They silently hugged and kept walking further, away from any chance of being seen or heard.

El warned him that opening the gate was risky in other ways too. She had a lot of control over her powers, but sometimes using this much strength would leave her too tired to close it again, and they couldn’t leave a gate open for longer than it took for Eddie to get in, check for Steve, and get out.

They also ran the risk of her using a little too much power and making a gate that was too big for her to close at all.

But these were risks Eddie deemed worth it, and with some convincing, El did too.

They found a small clearing, big enough to make a gate that Eddie could fit through.

He didn’t let himself stop to think about the last time he was being pushed through a gate, how he was bleeding out and barely breathing. He only thought about how Steve was down there, dead or alive, and didn’t deserve to be.

“Are you ready?” El asked him, her hands digging into the earth below her.

“Ready.”

“Two hours. If you are not back in two hours, I call Hopper.”

That was the deal. That was the only way she agreed to do this.

He knew if it came down to him being gone for more than two hours, he’d probably be grateful to see Hopper.

“Got it.”

El nodded and closed her eyes.

The ground started shaking, Eddie held back the panic, and suddenly El was staring up at him, blood dripping from her nose, smiling.

The ground had opened between them, just big enough for Eddie to slip through, small enough for El to cover with sticks and leaves if someone came looking before their time was up.

“You will come back in two hours.”

“Sure thing, supergirl. With Steve, hopefully.”

“With Steve,” she added with a small smile.

Eddie didn’t think anymore.

He dropped himself down, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach when everything turned upside down on him.

He didn’t let himself hesitate, even though he wanted to.

He had a lot of ground to cover in a short amount of time, and if Steve was alive, he could be anywhere.

But he walked towards where Robin and Nancy had left him. It would at least confirm if he was dead, his body hopefully would still be there if so.

It was only two miles, but Eddie was never a very fast runner. The first mile went surprisingly well, much faster than he expected to be able to do it. But during mile two, he felt his legs shaking.

He was still technically healing, the physical therapy stretches he did every morning further proof that he still had a long way to go before he was completely recovered.

But he pushed through it, knowing that the way back would be worse and he couldn’t waste time now.

But when he got to the area between the Creel house and the trailer park, he saw no sign of Steve, or anything for that matter.

There weren’t even vines or dead creatures around.

He tried to remain calm.

Steve had been alive when they left him here.

He may not be now, but he had been.

That felt worse.

He pushed that aside and decided to run to the trailer park.

Steve wouldn’t have gone in the direction of the Creel house, and he wouldn’t have wandered aimlessly no matter how much blood he’d lost.

He would have gone to the place he knew they would be in hopes the gate was still open.

The trailer park had always been kind of eerie, even in broad daylight, so the Upside Down version was downright horrific.

Eddie ran directly to his old trailer, hoped that somehow Steve found shelter here.

It looked worse than what he remembered, blood on the floor from when they were half dragging, half carrying him after being a meal for the bats.

The door had been kicked in at some point, and he wasn’t sure how or when that could have happened after they left.

He almost didn’t want to know unless-

He could hear movement in the back bedroom. His bedroom.

It could be anything. Wind blowing through a broken window, a creature he wasn’t entirely prepared to kill, Steve.

God, he hoped it was Steve.

He slowly walked towards the bedroom, his hands shaking where they were holding on tight to the bat.

The door was open a few inches, and he could hear the movement more clearly.

It sounded like someone was in bed, shifting in the sheets.

Holy shit.

He pushed the door open.

Holy shit.

“Steve!”

Eddie dropped the bat and ran to the bed, only stopping himself from jumping onto it when he saw the blood.

There was a lot, though most of it looked old, like maybe Steve had crawled here and then couldn’t quite find his way back out.

Steve was pale. It was dark, and hard to make out a lot of details, but he could see that he was deathly pale.

“Steve?”

“Eddie?”

“Holy shit, Jesus Christ, Steve. Where are you bleeding from?”

“Um, I think my leg? And my stomach.”

His voice was raspy, sort of nasally like he was coming down with a cold. Could you catch a cold from being down here? Probably.

Eddie’s hands hovered over the sheets, ready to move them so he could try to help, when Steve suddenly turned on his side and threw up.

“Shit. Hold on, let me help you sit up.”

“Sorry. Sorry.”

Steve was crying, and Eddie didn’t know what to do.

He took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to apologize, Stevie. I’m sorry you’ve been stuck here. Can I check your heartbeat?”

Eddie needed to see if it was ridiculously fast or slow, needed to determine how quickly he had to move them out of here, if he could take a few extra minutes to try to patch him up or if he just had to put him on his back and run.

Steve held his wrist towards him and Eddie quickly found his pulse.

He counted like a kind nurse showed him while he was in the hospital, filed away for future emergencies so he could be useful.

“It’s a little fast, but I think that’s normal for the situation. Let’s get you up and we can go.”

“Go how?”

“You can hop on my back.”

“I-”

“Steve, it’s not up for debate. You’re coming back with me and I don’t care if it means I break my back.”

Steve nodded once, his eyes closing as if he was just too exhausted to fight.

Eddie was sure he was.

Even if he managed to sleep here, it couldn’t have been well. It’s hard to rest when you know scary monsters are just outside the door.

“Tired,” Steve said, almost like he could read Eddie’s mind.

Hell, maybe he could after spending so much time down here.

Something to test later.

He checked his clock. Still had almost an hour and a half to get back to the gate.

“Have you had anything to eat or drink lately?”

“Found some water four days ago I think? Maybe five. Managed to stretch it until yesterday. Food’s been gone for days.”

How was he not passed out?

“How much of this blood is yours?”

“All of it.”

Awesome.

Eddie felt his forehead. He had a fever.

Even more awesome.

He probably had infections, which can be treated if you get them taken care of quickly, but he could have had them for weeks by now.

Cool.

“Alright, on three, wrap your arms around my neck and your legs around my waist. I’m gonna lift, and I just need you to try to keep leaning forward while I get you on my back.”

“Mkay.”

“And you cannot close your eyes. You hear me, Steve?”

Steve didn’t answer.

“Sweetheart, I need you to talk to me.”

“Mhm. Eyes stay open.”

“And mouth keeps moving. Alright,” Eddie helped him out a bit by placing his arms around his neck. “One…two…three.”

He lifted, and huffed out a sharp breath when his ribs started aching almost immediately.

“Okay?” Steve whispered against his neck.

“I’m okay. You?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Eddie let himself take one calming breath, just enough to get himself back on track. “Talk to me.”

“Hurts.”

“I know, love, but I need to know you haven’t passed out,” Eddie said sympathetically.

“Wanna hold your hand.”

God, okay. He could handle that.

He could.

“Okay, one hand for a minute. I need them both to hold you up though.”

He moved one hand up to his chest, where Steve’s hands were sort of dangling. He let his thumb run along the side of Steve’s hands, then Steve grabbed it and squeezed, surprising strength behind it.

“Is Dustin okay?”

Jesus Christ, this guy was half dead and still asking if others were okay.

“Yeah, he’s doing okay. Misses you, though.”

“Miss him.”

“Max is gonna be mad you came back from the dead in a more impressive way than her.”

“She can win.”

Eddie let out a laugh and tugged his hand back to adjust Steve on his back.

They had barely made it out of the trailer park and Eddie’s legs were shaking. He could do it though, he had no choice.

“How long?” Steve asked.

“A month.”

“Robin?”

“She’s hurting. She thought I was crazy. Didn’t wanna come because she didn’t wanna see you like she left you.”

“Not dead though.”

“Nope, not unless dead people can talk down here.”

Steve’s breath was hot against his neck, tickling him and sending chills down his back.

“You?”

“What about me?”

“Hurt?”

Steve’s voice was getting more strained, like he was doing his best to still talk but it was causing a lot of pain for him to do so.

“I was really hurt, yeah.”

“Still?”

“Not as much. Just a little.”

“Love me?”

Eddie knew he was losing it. The pain, the dehydration and hunger, the deliriousness. Steve didn’t have a clue what he was saying.

“What?”

“You love me?”

“Um.”

Steve squeezed his legs around Eddie’s hips.

“Came back. Love me.”

When it was put like that, yeah, Eddie guessed it seemed kind of obvious.

“Just a little.”

He could sense the eyeroll Steve wanted to give, but didn’t quite have the energy.

“I saw you. In my kitchen. Were you there?”

“Dunno.”

“Did you dream about it?”

“Just you. Kids. Robin. Missed you.”

“We all missed you.”

Eddie was making more progress, his determination to get Steve medical attention far outweighing any weakness or pain he was feeling.

“Ow.”

“What hurts, sweetheart?”

“Stomach.”

“Bites?”

“Mhm.”

Eddie could feel where the blood was soaking through his shirt, but he knew it wasn’t so much that he couldn’t at least make it through the gate before bandaging it up. He’d made it this long with them out, another 30 minutes wouldn’t kill him.

Hopefully.

Steve was quiet again, but he was breathing against Eddie’s neck steadily, so he didn’t push.

“Man, you won’t believe the place they gave me and Wayne. It’s got two bedrooms. And we have a whole kitchen instead of just a small counter area with a stove and fridge. Maybe you can cook us dinner when you’re better, you know, as a thanks for rescuing you.”

“Not a good cook.”

“I don’t believe that. Robin said you made her chicken parmesan from scratch for her birthday.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, so chicken parmesan, my kitchen, soon.”

“Soon.”

They were close, creeping into the edge of the woods, and Eddie was trying not to panic at Steve’s silence.

“Stevie, just a few more minutes. Tell me about the first thing you wanna do when you’re back.”

“Mmm.” Steve’s head rolled back and forth like he was trying to focus. “Kiss you.”

“That can be arranged. What else?”

“Hug Dustin. Love him.”

“Yeah, he could use that.”

“Hug Robin. Love her.”

“She could use that, too.”

“Hug you, love you.”

He wouldn’t hold Steve to this, he wouldn’t. But it would hurt so much when Steve forgot about this whole conversation.

He bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah, I could use that.”

Steve’s lips were pressed against his neck, most likely accidental, but Eddie let himself pretend for a moment it was a kiss.

When he reached the gate, he whistled to get El’s attention.

“Oh! Eddie, is that…”

“He’s alive. Really hurt and needs water and food. I need to get him through.”

El was prepared with everything and it only took a couple of minutes for them to get through the gate, Steve whimpering slightly as they moved him around.

“You were right.”

El seemed surprised, like she had only done this to give Eddie closure. She hadn’t expected Steve to be alive.

“He loves me,” Steve said.

El looked at Eddie, then at Steve, then back to Eddie.

“You love him?”

“I do. And I’ll love him a lot more if he stays alive. We have to get him to the hospital.”

“I can call Hopper?”

“Tell him to meet us at the cabin with an ambulance.”

“Jus’ need sleep.”

Eddie looked at Steve, mouth open in disbelief.

“You’re going to the hospital.”

“Sleep.”

“I’m not arguing with you. You can barely form a sentence. You’re going to the hospital.”

“You come?”

“I won’t leave your side.”

Eddie put him on his back again so he could walk towards the cabin, hopeful that Hopper wouldn’t ask a lot of questions until they got Steve taken care of.

“He is on his way!” El yelled from the porch, Joyce coming up behind her, hair a mess from being asleep.

When she saw Steve, her eyes widened and she nearly tripped running down the stairs.

“Oh God, Steve! Honey, are you okay? Of course not, you can’t even walk. You’re bleeding!”

“Mrs. Byers, can you get him some water maybe please?”

“Yes! Oh my God!”

She was running back up the stairs, mumbling to herself the whole way.

El giggled as she watched.

Eddie loved her.

He could hear sirens in the distance, and he hoped he would be able to ride with Steve.

He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

Steve’s eyes were closed, but Eddie kept his fingers on his pulse, making sure he didn’t have any changes while the sirens got closer.

Hopper’s patrol car arrived first, barely in park before Hopper was jumping out and running to where Eddie was cradling Steve.

Joyce came out with the water and handed it to Eddie.

“Dammit, why would you go down there alone? You know the rules.”

Eddie ignored him, just focused on getting some water past Steve’s lips.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Just a few sips.”

Steve’s lips moved, then he swallowed some of the water.

“There ya go. Good job.”

Hopper was watching in silence now, Joyce with her arm around him.

Eddie knew they were wondering how the hell they would ever get over leaving Steve behind.

The ambulance pulled up next, EMTs rushing out and asking Eddie question after question.

He had to keep it simple: found him in the woods, must’ve been out there since the quake with the injuries and level of dehydration. They took him at his word.

When they loaded Steve up, they let Eddie in only because Hopper insisted.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

And he was.

Eddie kept his eyes on Steve the whole time, but he could see the lights of Hopper’s police car in the window next to him.

Steve’s eyes fluttered open a few times as they hooked him up to oxygen and an IV, kept checking his vitals.

Eddie smiled at him each time, made sure he knew he was there and he loved him.

—---------------------------

It was two days before Steve woke up again.

The wounds weren’t bad, but they were infected, which was why they kept randomly bleeding despite not being very deep.

The infection was actually the worst of it, but it had potential to be life threatening if they couldn’t get it under control.

They pumped him full of pain relievers and antibiotics, fluids and nutrients.

Eddie sat by his bed the whole time.

None of the kids were allowed in yet, doctor’s and Hopper’s orders, but he heard Dustin in the hall multiple times a day giving it his best shot.

Robin hadn’t come by yet. Eddie knew she felt guilty, immensely so. She left her best friend down there, suffering, and didn’t even think to double check when it was safe to do so.

Eddie didn’t blame her, and he knew Steve wouldn’t either, but Robin would.

But when Steve’s eyes finally opened, bloodshot and glassy from his IV concoction, he smiled at Eddie.

“Love me?”

“Just a little.”

He fell back asleep a few minutes later, holding Eddie’s hand like a lifeline.

—------------------------

It took another four days before the doctors said he could be around others. His infection symptoms had gotten better and they believed the worst was over.

Eddie called Robin and told her to bring Dustin, no arguing. Steve was asking for them.

It wasn’t a lie, but he may have exaggerated it slightly just to get them here.

And when they did show up, everyone cried.

Robin collapsed next to the bed while Dustin folded himself against Steve the moment he was given permission to.

Eddie just watched from his chair, took in the way Steve comforted them despite the fact he was still in the hospital after spending a month alone in the Upside Down.

That was just who Steve was.

It probably wasn’t healthy, but it’s why Eddie loved him. Just a little.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[aihoshiino]

Atp i would like to see how ruby and aqua's relarionship will go. Not in "Yasss incest!" way but more of how they (mostly ruby) realize that they need to go their past lives and accept their relation as siblings. Or at least how wrong it is even if ruby wants it so much. There is no way incest would happen because Aka hates it. I am more interested in their psychological state and their conflict and resolving that conflict.

I don't think we can definitely say Akasaka Loves or Hates XYZ just because none of us know him, but there is a weird sense of like... discomfort or maybe avoidance on the topic of incest in OnK that I find kind of interesting to just poke at in my head sometimes. Because like, one of my main issues with the way OnK has handled the incest since 123 is that it just... well, hasn't.

I know that sounds insane in a post 143 world but going through the way the AquRuby stuff (or lbr just Ruby) has been written since 123, it feels like there's a very clear distinction between the ideas of "Ruby having feelings for Aqua, her brother" and "Ruby (& Sarina through her) having feelings for Goro, her doctor". When the story wants to play AquRuby for laughs, it leans into Ruby being attracted to her brother. When it actually takes things seriously, the framing is almost always Ruby addressing Gorou and the concept of incest is so loudly, conspicuously absent. You can even sort of see this line being drawn all the way back in 123, just at the end where Ruby very pointedly first addresses Aqua and then, separately, addresses "Sensei". It's almost as if she's purposely trying to create a divide so she can have one without dealing with the reality of what it would mean to be with the other.

It's hard to tell whether or not this is intentional in the sense of being part of Ruby's arc but it nevertheless creates a sense of the series wanting to have its cake and eat it too, indulging in the shock value and spicy intrigue of incest as a taboo without meaningfully engaging with it as subject matter. I've described it elsewhere recently as the series exclusively toying with the *aesthetics* of incest, its surface level referential language and set dressing, while resolutely avoiding going any deeper and I still stand by that. The 143 kiss is actually a really good example of this - the imagery is that of two siblings kissing but on that very same page, Ruby reminds us that in her eyes, she is talking to and in love with her "Sensei". The series has conducted this deeply convoluted narrative trick where it can depict what is very clearly incest without it technically being incest. Even when roadblocks to the GRSR relationship are addressed, it's only ever in reference to their age gap and Ruby always frames it as something that *used* to stand in their way but is no longer an issue now she's 18.

On days I am feeling charitable towards the series, I'm inclined to think this is an intentional part of Ruby's arc and that she is, in universe, being a bit delulu about the whole thing as an unhealthy coping mechanism - her being avoidant of emotionally inconvenient truths is something we see popping up more than once, so this being an extension of that tendency would make sense. When I am feeling more cynical, however, I tend towards thinking this is just an excuse to indulge in shocking imagery that generates clicks without ever having to actually commit to upsetting readers by sinking *or* canonizing incest ship. My best guess is that the truth is somewhere in the middle but it must be stressed that this is just my thoughts and I have no idea what goes on in Akasaka's brain.

Anyway this is just a long and rambly way of saying "word". Regardless of what direction the story takes AquRuby, I just want the story to finally fucking commit to something instead of chickening out every time it gears up to do so.

[fishy-xp]

more sfh brain rot

can i just say, i love the complexity of the characters outside the goshiwon as well. jieun and jaeho who are supposedly meant to be jongwoo's girlfriend and friend, are just so caught up with themselves, whether unwillingly, in jieun's case, or willing, in jaeho's case. jieun's horrible work relationship with her boss where absolutely nothing she does is correct whilst having more and more work being put onto her, slowly breaks down her capacity to cope to the extent that she isn't able to spare any attention to her boyfriend's problems since she is unable to properly deal with her own. the way she scolds jongwoo in ep 4 when he complains about the eden residents, saying nothing comes from being nice, i think she is very much saying what she wishes she could tell herself but when push comes to shove, she could never actually stand up for herself against her boss, leading her to push that pent-up anger and frustration on to jongwoo, calling him too 'sensitive' and to get over it. i think she is mad at her own passivity adn taking it out on jongwoo, since he's probably the only person she can exert some power over in her life.

jaeho is just a jerk point blank, i think the entire fandom has picked up on much of a narcissistic bastard who simultaneously has an inferiority and superiority complex he is. any time jongwoo tries to stand up for himself, jaeho's ego flares at the thought of not having the man squished under his thumb. he belittles jongwoo, guilt-trips him, asserts his seniority over him, crosses the clear boundaries jongwoo has set about not talking about the goshiwon to others just to force jongwoo back into his plac below him just to satisfy his frail bruised ego.

on a separate consideration, the nature v nurture debate surrounding jongwoo. personally, i believe that the entire series is about how much nurture, or the people around you, influence you and your actions, thoughts and behaviours. the show being called 'hell is other people' kinda indicates that it is the people around you that can make your life a living hell. after all, jongwoo was seemingly normal before moving into eden. additionally, the show goes out of its way to highlight jongwoo's good nature, when he buys food for the stray kittens and moves jieun to walk in the shade. i think everyone has the capacity to do heinous things within their nature, no one is born a serial killer but everyone has the potential to become one given the right (or i guess more accurately would be the 'wrong') circumstances. and as much as we all love to think moonjo was the one who gaslighted and manipulated jongwoo into giving in to his anger and hatred, and go apeshit, that anger and hatred was built up because of those people closest to him, his girlfriend, his senior, his co-workers, the stranger who kicked away the can of cat-food he brought. literally, everyone around him pushed and shoved him around like a piece of garbage, overstepping his boundaries and treating him like dirt or a punching bag. moonjo was the only who truly recognised jongwoo as an equal and wanted him to come to realise that himself.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

My controversial 9-1-1 opinion is that Buck is one of the least interesting characters on the show. Don’t get me wrong, he is complex and interesting but the type of character he is and oftentimes reduced to (sunshine golden retriever boy, abandonment issues, humour to cope and uses false confidence and cockiness to hide the fact he’s deeply insecure) is common and you can find at least one character in almost any media who pretty much matches that description. Usually those characters are also a fandom favourite and you can never escape them.

The clear favouritism for Buck in the fandom also undermines a lot of the incredible things this show has done for representation. “Omg the white guy kissed another white guy! This is revolutionary and the greatest thing to happen on the show!” (Ik I’m simplifying it).

That’s cool, personally I think one of the greatest things to happen on the show is the representation of an abusive relationship and how that trauma impacts a person for years and isn’t fixed in a night after finding the perfect guy. I also think representing postpartum depression was also quite revolutionary and made my mum feel comfortable enough to open up to me about how she had postpartum depression after my sister was born. Like my mum is 50 years old and this silly firefighter show made her feel seen. THAT’S what representation is for.

Regarding LGBTQ+ representation, I think the HAPPILY MARRIED BLACK LESBIAN COUPLE WITH CHILDREN (Mara we’re getting you home) is something never seen in mainstream media, firstly because there are hardly any sapphic relationships and secondly because those sapphic relationships hardly include women of colour.

This is an ensemble and I feel like a lot of people forget that. I’m also still annoyed that when Buck was confirmed bisexual, major article companies acted like this was the first time 9-1-1 had established 1) a queer character and 2) a queer couple.

Henren ran so BT could stumble around and fall flat on its face.

Interesting... We definitely share some of the same views on things, but I do find Buck really interesting as a character now!!! I find Buck and Eddie soooo interesting mainly because I have read probably millions of words of character study on them. Also when I first watched I didn't find Buck suuuper interesting up until the saviour baby arc, which adds so many layers of complexity to his behaviour across all seasons!!!

I really hope there is a greater focus on Maddie next season!!!! Also I think one of the major flaws with S7, because it was written very quickly and they knew they would have to move scenes across episodes is that they didn't really mix storylines massively, so it wasn't very cohesive and we didn't really get to see the 118 as a whole family properly. The pairings we had were Buck and Eddie, Henren and Madney and Bobby and Athena, and that was kind of consistent throughout. Next season I'm really hoping that they can switch up dynamics at least for a few storylines, BC I miss when we would see scenes of like Buck and Chim, or Athena and Hen, which they stopped doing as much once Bathena happened, because they no longer needed Hen as a link between Athena and the 118. WHICH IS SO SAD! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

ALSO SORRY THIS ISNT VERY WELL STRUCTURED BUT CAN THEY LET HENREN BE HAPPY PLEASE!!!! Kind of sick of their storylines being "oh no someone is threatening our family" because it just paints their family as unstable and they don't deserve that!!! I want silly storylines PLEASE!

But yes the centering of Buck (and sometimes the other guy who I will not name BC I don't wanna piss ppl off) by SOME people in the fandom ANGERS ME GREATLY. ESPECIALLY with the whole Gerrard thing, where the comments on the IG post were FLOODED with people talking about Tommy (named him here oh well). And people talking about how everyone is gonna defend Buck because if Gerrard even looks at Buck they're gonna throw hands! I'M SORRY WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MORE DEFENSIVE OVER BUCK THAN CHIMNEY OR HEN, WHO HAVE ALREADY BOTH BEEN TARGETED AND HARASSED AND BULLIED BY GERRARD? WHY ARE YOU MORE DEFENSIVE OVER TOMMY THAN CHIM OR HEN? It fucking disgusts me. The way that Tommy literally was introduced in S2 as a PLOT DEVICE to show how 'bystanders' (he was barely a bystander, more an active participant) in workplace racism and bullying are still so fucking dangerous and disgusting and wrong. And he was so fucking disgusting to both Hen and Chim, bear in mind they have a fucking dangerous job, if CHIM had been in that building Tommy would have absolutely left him to die. WORKPLACE RACISM IN LIFE OR DEATH JOBS LEADS TO PEOPLE BEING FUCKING LEFT TO DIE. And people are more defensive over Tommy being potentially harassed by Gerrard and than they ever were over Hen or Chim. As a white person I am so fucking sorry, this fandom has not lately been a safe space for pocs and the fucking lengths people go to to justify both the character and the actor are so fucking strange. White queer people should do fucking better than this. It is the bare fucking minimum to not be racist or not have been publicly racist in the past. Why not ask for a better fucking standard? ALSO with the actor, if you're trying to fucking argue that he's not like that any more, SHOW ME that he is a fucking anti racist and that he is fucking defending minority groups and that he understands the weight of his actions. SHOW ME how he understands his privilege and uses his platform and the money he is given to donate to and fund the protection of these groups. It is fucking sickening that people have decided they can defend or ignore or tolerate this man and it DISGUSTS ME that they have happily created an environment where people can't feel fucking safe or supported or heard.

The focus on that character is so fucking weird given the lack of screen time he has had, I'm really gonna stop talking about him at all soon because it gives him way too much weight. But it's disgusting. The way some people have to find a way to write Eddie and Chris out of Buck's life and rewrite over canon to bring more focus onto this man astounds me.

As a (lesbian? Idk not currently sure but kinda) queer person, Henren are such beautiful representation and I love them so much and ALSO the foundation of the whole show is basically found family. If you want to only focus on Buck then that's fine I guess, but it is literally written into canon that the family around him mean FUCKING EVERYTHING TO HIM so it's weird that people barely fucking look at it at all.

Anyway sorry I greatly appreciated your message and idk if all of this is related or relevant and it is not well structured but I was just feeling ranty and was inspired by you! I love you and I hope you have a brilliant day!

[rainykthebroken]

Which character is the most difficult to characterize for you?? And who's the one you most enjoy to write...?

Oh! And... How it was at the beginning when you started writing AWA? I mean, when u had the idea to write the fanfic, what were your thoughts concerning the story back then? And... With the passage of time, the way you portrayed the characters changed as the story progressed...?

Sorry if is too much, take your time to answer and I apologize if I'm not clear... Uh... Uhm...

Most important: GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR HOMEWORK AND EXAMS, YOU CAN DO IT!!! >:3 🫂✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASKS!!!

I think the hardest characters to characterize might be Magolor and Taranza, which is obvious since they're the protagonists of this story.

With Magolor, there is this fragile balance between making him cool and confident, and writing him as a pathetic wet cat. His ego is as high as his insecurities are deep, and it's also a challenge to write him likable without taking away the mischievous and opportunistic side of him.  I don't want to make him a saint, but he still remains very kind to his friends and genuinely wants to be a better person.

For Taranza, it's more his relationship towards Joronia that is hard to truly describe with words. It might seem strange why he is so affected by her, even after so long. The thing is: Taranza let go of the hope of bringing her back to life. He made somewhat peace with that. The true issue is, as explained in the very first chapter, the only way he feels he can support his guilt is by remaining faithful to her. Taranza coped with having friends, and being happy because of them, by the very fact that at the end of all things, he had promised he would remain utterly alone and without someone to love him forever.

And then he fricking realized the gamer-coded cat that is Magolor actually makes him feel valued and warm inside. With that, his whole acceptance of being unloved is shattered, and he starts to feel guilty again… because being alone was his own-imposed punishment for Joronia’s death, and he truly believes that it was what she should want for him.

Also, Marx. It’s sometimes hard to write the lovable jerk archetype.

About the beginning of AWA:

I truly underestimated how huge it would be, and how much it would be appreciated. I still have drafts that talk about a “10 chapters fanfic” lol. Especially since the chapters were supposed to be only 5k words long.

For each chapter, I had one major idea, the rest was really improvisation. However, as I wrote, new concepts came to me. The Dream Flower that Taranza has in his hairs, and its powers, were actually not planned at the start. I added them to make things more understandable and give materiality to the metaphor. Susie's subplot was added late in the story. DMK wasn’t much more than a douchebag that deserved to be punched in the face, before I try to give him more depth. I considered Dark Taranza appearing in the fanfic, but his presence would have undermined Taranza’s whole character arc (more on that when the fanfic is completed).

Overall, I remained faithful to my original vision, all while adding new ideas to the story. And I still planned to revisit the earlier chapters to add new details!

I hope my answer is satisfying, and I thank you again for the ask :D

[fiberglassandflowers]

Hey idk if there’s some master post about mbts but if there is may I please ask where and if not could I perhaps humbly request a description because it sounds cool as FUCK

omg yayy okay so there's not a masterpost as of now (though there is a google doc in the works that will probably be. very big) BUT i will try to give a brief rundown. underneath a readmore 👍

OK SO. IN SUMMARY

MARY BELL TOWNSHIP: more like mary bell CLOWNSHIT ha ha. heavy surveillance like everywhere (including in peoples homes. how fun). it's also got some like radiation stuff going on. all the residents are a lil radiation poisoned But it's mostly fine. also the town moves and i dont know why.

VANNIE OVERTURE: based on suburbia overture. the mayor who is a vampire. major control freak. sucks shit. like most of the reason mary bell is the way it is. permasmile swag. has killed before. hates when people are weird freaks and is actively passive aggressive if not outright aggressive.

TRIP LETWO: based on 2econd 2ight 2eer. world's silliestguy contrarian and infamous public nuisance. deeply tortured individual but shes dealing with it i guess. physically cant leave mary bell township. he has too much goddamn lore

LYDIE LAPLACE: based on laplace's angel. so lame. just deeply lame. killed a guy and got kicked out of office building heaven (laplace's inc. id give this its own section but it doesnt really matter all that much). i dont ever think about it unfortunately im sorry women.

MINA BYRD: based on i/me/myself. very sweet very nice. ladybugpilled socialanxietycel. doesnt have a whole lot going on but she is nice im glad shes there. im gonna have a significant relationships section of this but im saying that shes roommates with lia here bc its not really significant otherwise

WALTER LEE: based on ...well, better than the alternative. worlds first cis father to be a butch lesbian. probably a girl but she doesnt know that. weird nostalgia issues so bad his wife left him.

DOTTY LEE: ten years old. strange little girl but i dont really think about it a lot. not much else to say about her really.

LIA CRATES: based on outliars and hyppocrates. her name is pronounced like lie-uh cray-tees not lee-ah crayts. i have to clear this up because i realized most people were wrong LMAO. a little mean but not so much when you get to know her.

WARREN LEARY: based on blackboxwarrior. actually the worst therapist you will EVER meet. isnt even licensed. you book a session with her and she only talks about herself the entire time. constantly referencing a dark and contradictory past.

MARSHA TILLIS: based on marsha, thankk you for the dialectics. slightly better therapist! still not that good. has the spirit of an old man despite being in his 40s. will begin to psychoanalyze your behavior upon the first thirty seconds of knowing you.

NORMAN LEE: based on love, me normally. guy trying really really hard to be a regular guy. has a loooot of problems that stem from this. hugest people pleaser the world has ever known. a little bit offputting. has hair symbolism :-)

MORTIMER: based on memento mori. doesn't have a last name. worlds silliest grim reaper death thing. works in the death division for laplace's inc. lived a pretty normal life. then it died :-(. more here

FERN O'DYNAMIC: based on thermodynamic lawyer. hates his bitch wife (who is a praying mantis for. unknown reasons? will elaborate). just has a lot of anger inside him and doesnt know how to deal with it so he takes it out on other people. he kind of sucks but he's a neat character.

MIRANDA WRIGHT: the person being sung about in thermodynamic lawyer. bug wife (i can blame anything on radiation). she wasnt always a bug she just kinda did that idk. there's not much about her but she's an etymologist.

COTARD LETWO: based on cotard's solution. she has so many problems oh my gooood. deeply lonely person. fascinated with the macabre. its like coping mechanism that makes you worse. im insane about her writing a basic description is so difficult fkdjsfhsjd

RAMONA MCLAREN: based on red moon + hand me my shovel (though the latter was included later on bc it fit her). worlds most intelligent and stupid single celled organism. patheticswag. absolutely batshit insane. attempting to solve the end of the world.

KUIPER SUNSHINE: based on dr sunshine is dead. uh. i dont really know much about her to be honest SORRY... its really silly though + haver of prophetic dreams that she is NOT transparent about. fucks with people a lot just for funsies

COLIN THESIER: based on cover this song. girl who used to be in a band but got kicked out bc of friend drama. survivor of a toxic codependent queer friendship. trying to be a better person bc she used to suck pretty bad unfortunately. a bit more here

theres like a couple more characters but none of them are really important enough to give their own sections. debbie letwo is trip and cotards mom, laplace is the head of laplace's inc, maude is walter's ex wife who left him (heres the scoop on that).

OK NOTABLE CHARACTER DYNAMICS TIME:

VANNIE/NORMAN: norman has been pretending to be a normal dude this whole time + vannie totally fell for it. normans stuck in this friendship bc hes too much of a people pleaser to break it off even though vannie actively drains him emotionally. also he feels validated by vannie thinking hes normal. its so awful im so insane about their dynamic

VANNIE/TRIP: THEY HAAAATE EACH OTHER. their entire core beliefs are at odds (guy who thinks everyone should do their best to conform vs. guy who loves being a weird freak and doing fuck all). their dynamic is honestly pretty simple in comparison but theyre so petty and stupid its insane. if you put them alone in the same room one of them isnt coming out

TRIP/NORMAN: theyre gay together. there's a weird lore thing about the way relationships are handled in mary bell but long story short theres paperwork that has to be filled out if you want to be registered for one and trip thinks its really funny for xem and norman to constantly break up so they'll have to fill out the paperwork because it fucks with vannie. theyre also kind of awful and tragic

WALTER/DOTTY: that is a father and his daughter. walters trying his best and hes doing well but nothing would have been better than just moving out of mary bell township to raise his child.

WALTER/NORMAN: they’re brothers 👍 not much else to say there but they’re cool

WALTER/MAUDE: already linked a more in-depth explanation of their deal but ill summarize it here. maude thought living in mary bell township was really bad for a child (and it is) but since walter has issues about idealizing his childhood he was like "whaaat well i was raised here and im fine" and they fought about it and once it became clear walter wasnt changing his mind maude figured shed just spare herself from all of it. so she left 💯

WARREN/MARSHA: what if the two worst therapists ever were queerplatonic and violated hipaa together. also what if one of them [marsha] was helping the other [warren] because they're on the run from the law. would that be crazy or what

FERN/MIRANDA: actually awful. they really want to divorce but trip and norman keep clogging up the paperwork so theyre on a waiting list forever. their relationship was really good at one point but its not anymore :-( more info here

NORMAN/FERN: fern haaates norman because of the previously mentioned paperwork debacle but normans ass cant deal with the thought of anyone disliking him so hes just been really trying to get on his good side to no avail. also theyre coworkers so its more relevant

MORTIMER/TRIP: man how do i even summarize this one. due to lore reasons that you can read about in the link provided in trips session they have a super weird dynamic present day. or at least on trips end, mortimer is just super friendly to them and it wigs her out.

TRIP/COTARD: OUGUIGHJ. AOAUYFGDSFHSJ. tragic sibliiings. man i dont even know if i can go into this. go here and here if you want to learn more about them. jesus

COTARD/COLIN: frienndsss :-] classic extrovert forcing themselves into introverts life trope a little bit. they play music together and its great. mina's also in their little group but the two of them are closer

KUIPER/RAMONA: have been described by my friend as being "nonromantic freak4freak" and this is true. theyre working together on the end of the world stuff. they also rope cotard into it but thats lore i havent talked much about yet. go here and here for more info about them.

that might??????? be it?????? if there's more ill update it but thats the general basics i think. thank you for being interested and hopefully reading i greatly appreciate it :-)

[crimsonedquill]

hey :) i love how you write angst! can you do a hc about how mc would know they're depressed? like the signs they would show?

Yes I can! We do love a good bit of Character Analysis™ in this house.

Thanks for the ask 🖤

How they act when they are depressed (Hogwarts Legacy)

TW: discussion of depression

Poppy Sweeting 🦡

I think she’d be the most mature in dealing with her emotions by sheer virtue of all the shit she’s already overcome. That said, talking about her problems doesn’t come naturally to her. Isolating herself is her go-to coping mechanism for pretty much any kind of personal struggle, so it might be difficult to figure out whether she’s just having a bad day or she’s going through more serious stuff. However, if she trusts you enough to talk about it, she’s surprisingly good at articulating her feelings.

Natsai Onai 🦁

She’s definitely the type to hide her emotions because she doesn’t want to feel like a burden to others. Keeps a brave face, tries her best to smile through the pain, doesn’t want to give anyone (least of all her mother) the impression that anything’s wrong. When she’s alone, she cries a lot. Whatever she’s feeling at the moment mixes with the guilt she feels over her father’s death, leading her to feel like everything is her fault.  

Imelda Reyes 🐍

Doesn’t ‘do’ emotions. She just submits herself to gruelling training schedules and pushes her body to its limits so the physical pain drowns out the mental kind. Will often lose her shit in front of anyone who has the audacity to show concern for her. These are her problems to deal with; she doesn’t need anyone else.

Ominis Gaunt 🐍

In the same mould as Natty, I think his lingering sense of guilt would keep him from expressing his true feelings in a clear way to others. He practically spends most of his time with the Sallows, so it would make sense that he keeps his issues to himself to not add to their pile of problems. Whatever pain he feels he masks with sarcasm and a lot of passive-aggressiveness. The worst thing is that he often thinks he deserves it.

Sebastian Sallow 🐍

He hates being in a position of vulnerability and lacking control over his circumstances. If he can’t even help himself, how is he ever going to help his sister? He tends to get erratic and impulsive, coping with his problems by getting involved in increasingly dangerous shenanigans until a) he gets seriously injured or b) someone gets in his face and reminds him that he’s not invincible.

Amit Thakkar 🦅

I’m a bit torn on Amit. I think he would either be burying himself in his schoolwork or going out of his way to help others to hide his own struggles. One obvious sign that he’s going through some things: forgetting all the answers to the questions the professors ask him in class. He tends to get trapped inside his own head, constantly doubting himself and wondering if he’s good enough.

Anne Sallow 🐍

She always tries to see the positive side of things. Sometimes, though, the strain on her mind and body is just too much. Her brother and uncle fighting all the time rubs off on her – she can’t help but wonder how better things would be if she would be simply gone – and more often than not she contemplates the thought of just walking out and never coming back. She will get uncommunicative, going on long walks without any destination in mind, trying to remember what it was like to live without pain.

I'm crying they just need a hug 😭

[andromedasummer]

Over a third of the way through The Whispering Skull heres my current thoughts

- If I were Lockwood and Lucy I would be a little bit mad about George missing the whole "area theyre searching was an execution ground for criminals" thing but also I feel like it's the first clear sign we get that something is off with George. Like hes burnt out. Hes tired. Hes just a teenager. They all are and theyre working adult jobs and literally dont have the capacity or past experience to communicate with one another. Very realistic for teenagers.

- I love Kipps so much I love how full of himself he is I love how pathetic he comes across even when he gets the upper hand I cannot wait to see him and his team get cut down to size.

- That being said I would have thrown down then and there had I been struck with a Mag Flare like that. better ways to go about ghosts, its dangerous as shit, badly damaged L&C's clothes and perfectly shows that the Fitts agency arent really trained in a people-first way. The way they put pressure on their teams to secure a source above all and encourage hostility towards other agents.... Super telling about management and an early warning sign to me. Esp with what we know happens to Ned Shaw (which i'll have a lot to say about later when it happens) and Kat, Bobby and Kipps v trauma.

- I liked Joplin a lot when I read the books as a kid + my reread 2 years back but now... idk. Too reckless, esp with how he treats ghosts when in the company of teenagers and children. Hate how comfortable all the adults in this world are about putting children at risk. They really treat them as a resource or rather than anything else.

- The skull is such a fucking shit stirrer which again makes so much damn sense when you learn hes a teenager whose been stuck with no one to talk to in a jar for like a hundred+ years. Of course you're trying to push apart Lockwood and Lucy. You are a fucked up ex-cultist teenage boy who finally found someone to talk to and are perpetually stuck in your teenage brain and hormones. You are So Jealous.

- Lucy, George and Lockwoods argument about the Georges recklessness and then The Skull seeding distrust again drives home my point about communication but also Christ these kids need more friends. Their entire childhood and teen years are stripped from them. They have no family to talk to or guide them. No non-work friends their age to vent to. Immense trauma and no one to help them through it.

- Jonathan Stroud give me a follow up series following the team in their mid twenties coping with having their lives dedicated to a job they literally cannot do anymore and the repercussions of no education and no safety nets for agents once they reach adulthood. What do they do? Where do they work? Where do they go? How do they afford to live? What happens to agents who only built relationships with coworkers they cant even face because of trauma? Agents disconnected with their families? Nightwatch kids whose education was ruined because their days were spent recovering from their shifts? I need to know.

- Okay back to the book the ghost cult stuff hits so much harder in a post-covid world. I was there getting harassed by anti vaxxers when they invaded parliament for a month and it ended in violence. of course in times of fear people become vulnerable to misinformation. You Are Not Immune To Cults. Or Propaganda. Again, spin-off following the people who try to fight those who profit off of peoples fear and build wealth and followings off of it. Theres so much interesting stuff in this world I want to explore.

- Kipps and Lockwoods teams having to work together bcos of Barnes is so good. I love Kipps team so much I love seeing them

- Kat Godwin is autistic and I know this. Because I am Autistic. Also she comes off as someone who has shut down to everything around her because, again. trauma of her work. at 16 theres no way she hasnt been through something similar to Lucy or Lockwood. I'm sad we see less of her after book three. same with Bobby.

- Now I want to write a hyper empathetic autistic lucy/low empathy autistic kat fic where they both realize they have a lot in common with their Talents and work and bond it doesnt even have to be romantic i just want to see more of Kat

- A LSO i need lucy to have more female friends for the love of god i understand this is your pick me phase of your teens but it makes me so sad to see your internalized misogyny even though it ABSOLUTELY makes sense for her character and is so common for teen girls like her but the way she talks about sensitives and every other female operative she meets. girl. who are you trying to impress rn. you dont need to.

- Ned Shaw getting the shit kicked out of him by Lockwood DESERVED.

- I love this little nightwatch boy who helps the team with all my heart. what is his name. my son. hes such a little cunt.

- FLO TIME FLO TIME i am so excited to see Flo you people DO NOT UNDERSTAND shes so fucking cool mudlarkers are so fucking cool fuck you if you hate flo this is a flo bones appreciation zone

- obligatory "i miss holly" comment even though. she hasnt been introduced yet and wont be until the next book. i love gay people okay.

- Anyway I'm enjoying this a lot I said TWS isnt my fav book (mostly the stuff later on in the book isn't as compelling to me) but this stuff at the start rules. I didn't expect to write so much. Im having so much fun.

[anthurak]

"Likely cared about her the most out of her teammates. Given how she’s clearly taken Summer’s loss far harder than Qrow or Tai." Its literally been a major plot point since V2 then Summer's disappearance caused Tai to completely shut down for actual years. Straight from Yang. How can you possibly ignore that to make a claim that Raven cared more? I know your a Rosebird truther to the extreme, but come on your ignoring the words of characters who actually were there

So this is a great example of what I’ve been saying about how much of the fandom’s idea of the background of Team STRQ is based on some major assumptions. And many of them drawn from sources that are not entirely reliable.

To the point, IS Tai ‘shutting down’ after Summer’s disappearance really a major recurring plot point? It’s only been brought up twice in any kind of significant way, and more notably is something we’ve only ever heard about and never actually SEEN. Now that’s not to say that Yang has been lying or somehow wrong about Taiyang’s grief, rather that the only place we have actually seen that grief is through the effect it had on Yang and Ruby. Whereas we have thus far seen basically nothing of that grief from Tai himself. Seeing as how we have never seen him so much as speak of Summer, outside that one episode of Fairy Tales of Remnant that only had an inference of his grief. Simply put, the narrative of RWBY has treated Taiyang’s apparent grief-stricken breakdown as a key aspect of Yang’s backstory and character development, rather than part of Tai’s own character.

And more to your point: How can I claim that Raven cared more about Summer and took her disappearance harder that Tai?

Simple. Just note the past tense in ‘Tai completely shut down for years.’

Regardless of how hard Tai apparently took Summer’s disappearance in the past, when we look at him in the present, it’s clear that he has been able to heal and move past that grief and overall looks to be in a pretty good place now.

Contrast that with Raven who is clearly still wracked with grief and trauma over whatever happened during that mission and whatever happened to Summer.

Reading between the lines, the show has made it pretty clear which among Team STRQ took Summer’s disappearance the hardest: On the one hand we have Qrow and Tai, who after all these years, seem to have coped with their grief fairly well, all things considered. And on the other hand we have Raven, who is clearly still a complete fucking wreck.

What I think much of the fandom is missing is that there is a slowly growing disconnect between what we heard about Team STRQ’s backstory and what we are actually SEEING play out.

Back in Volume 2, we took everything Yang told Blake at face value and assumed that she actually knew everything she was talking about and was right about everything.

When in reality it’s becoming more and more clear that there is a LOT about her parents’ team that Yang, and by extension Ruby, have had NO IDEA about.

With how consistently RWBY has utilized the ‘unreliable narrator’ trope, especially when it comes to our heroines’ parents and mentors, when it comes to formulating theories, more and more I’ve taken to putting MUCH more stock in what we SEE of our characters over what we might simply ‘hear’ about them. Especially when it comes to characters as shrouded in mystery as Team STRQ, and particularly after what we saw in the Volume 9 finale which flat out TOLD Ruby ‘there’s a BUNCH about your family that you have been completely wrong about’.

It’s not that I think Summer didn’t care about Tai and Qrow, or that she and Tai weren’t very close. Ruby’s vision from the Tree proved that pretty conclusively. Nor do I think Tai isn’t or hasn’t been a loving, caring father to both Yang and Ruby. Again, the story has shown that quite definitively.

Rather, I think there is a LOT more going on with Ruby’s and Yang’s parents than we realize. And that a LOT of what we have assumed base on what characters told us in the show’s early volumes is going to turn out to be either VERY incomplete or even outright wrong.

Like when the story has told and shown us basically nothing of Summer’s relationship with Tai, while at the same time leaving more and more narrative breadcrumbs about Summer’s relationship with Raven, or in the case of the V9 finale, clubbing us upside the head with a wholeass baguette, it gives more and more of an impression that THIS is the relationship of most narrative significance and consequence among the team. And that some things both we and Yang and Ruby assumed were not actually the case. Say for example, Tai not actually being Ruby's biological father...

[freakcliff]

hey give the people your p5 recs

cracks knuckles ok let's go

Between Scylla and Charybdis by KivaEmber

Akechi’s eyes were wide in disbelief - then he laughed; a sharp, ugly noise.

“Oh!” he leaned back on his heels, his vicious expression softening into a mocking smile, “I forgot. This is new for you, isn’t it? Fighting alone?”

Or;

Akira has a near-fatal encounter in Maruki's Palace. Akechi... barely takes it well.

[I have re-read this one so many times and I think about it & Goro Akechi so much. Also general reccomendation that everything by this author is good.]

The Plural of Soulmate is a Mess by VampireBadger

You're not supposed to have more than one soulmate. Everyone knows that.

Nobody told the Phantom Thieves, though, and Akechi...

Well, he's just kind of along for the ride.

[One time I made a whole PowerPoint where I talked about soulmate aus and I spent a whole slide on a tangent about Akechi & how he works with the themes in his character and I was thinking about This Fic Specifically. Look at this bitch. he doesn't realize that it's impossible to escape being loved!!]

Analogous by jortsbian

analogous colors: noun. of art: a selection of colors that, while not the same, bear more than a passing resemblance to each other. a palette of colors that are near each other on the color wheel, and are thus similar.

In the weeks following the interrogation room, it becomes clear Akira is struggling to cope with his situation. Yusuke and Futaba provide an easy evening to de-stress.

[I have written on my ao3 bookmark only "PHANTOM THIEVES AUTISM" and yeah. phantom thieves autism]

To Grate Against the World by pretentiousashell

“Nobody seems to know what to do with you. When I received the call, the warden seemed bewildered that you were even here at all.” It was a phone call that Naoto would not soon forget—the chilling way that the warden seemed to continually forget what he was asking mid-sentence, unable to latch onto Akechi’s name as if his existence was something contingent on his direct and immediate presence.

Akechi bared his teeth, eyes in shadow. “Nobody has ever known what to do with me,” he said, voice dripping acid.

“Then, this should be refreshing for you,” he said, delighting in the way that Akechi’s gaze sharpened as Naoto plucked a nonexistent piece of lint from his coat. “You’re coming with me. To Inaba.”

At the end of P5R, the world forgets Akechi.

[I'll admit that I haven't played p4 so I cannot attest to characterization on the p4 characters that appear; however this fic makes me insane. Off the charts Vibes with the feelings of longing and melancholy and growing up growing past trauma. Its very good I'm very normal.]

blood, guts, and chocolate cake by aesphantasmal

The aftermath of Akira Kurusu, Ryuji Sakamoto, and Ann Takamaki's first slaying of a monster.

[Magnus archives au; kamoshida is an avatar of the flesh and Akira Ryuji and Ann have to kill him. Read for the feeling of the unbreakable bond of friendship you form when you and your two acquatiences murder your gym teacher together. part of a series which you should read and I am not at all biased no sir when I reccomend also everything else by this author who I do not know at all nopenope nope.]

sagittarius by moonlight by Writeous

Futaba rescues Akira before, during, and after the interrogation. In the heat of the moment, it's hard to think of them as victories.

[good shit. siblings. phantom thieves.]

falling down, falling behind by intimatopia

Akechi: are you actually fine?

What was she even supposed to say to that? Being honest was out of the question, especially with him. She didn’t like him. She’d forgiven him, and she was friends with his friends and he was dating the one boy she’d ever let herself trust. He’d taken everything from her and she was better than him, or had to be, because that was all she had left.

Haru: Why do you ask?

[I have seen so many varying takes on Haru and her feelings about the whole Everything and so far this is the only one that I've read and went YEAH!!!! YEAH THATS HARU!!!]

The Diamond Chest by kinneas

“The quickest route to anywhere is a straight line,” Akechi says. “He’s a target, and I refuse to give up that easily. I’m doing this.”

Morgana turns his skeptical gaze on him. “Are you sure? You weren’t feeling so great earlier...”

Akechi watches their target for a moment longer, and the illusion of his soft yukata and softer hair dispels under his glass shard of a smile. There isn’t a trace of pain on his face anymore—only simmering, dark excitement. “As I said. I don’t like to lose.”

And neither does Ren. Yeah, they’re head to toe in yukata and sandals, and yeah, everyone is right: this is so, so stupid. Ren is so stupid. But he’s gonna climb this roof and catch that goddamn cop.

He meets Akechi’s gaze beat for beat. “Let’s do it.”

—

Who says you have to see Morgana speak in the Metaverse before you can hear him in the real world? Not the few hundred officers who arrested Ren in Sae’s Palace two years ago, that’s for sure.

[my favoritest persona fanfic ever I think so hard all the time about this author's writing style and how the characters are written how they handle trauma and growing up and moving on from all the Things that happened in the year they were phantom thieves. the way akechi and jokers relationship is written & the way their arcs are written . this is both a great take on the characters and persona 5 and also a very well written Story in general with well executed Plot and Arcs. Everything else by this author is also fire.]

Will You Fuse Hestia? by kinneas

He tells them on a Thursday, when they sign their second lease together. They knew Ren was seeing someone. They knew Ren had a roommate. Now, they know the rest.

He doesn’t hear from them for a couple of months after that, but that’s nothing new.

—

The Phantom Thieves of Hearts have faced down angels, demons, and gods. Now it's time to face the parents.

[great and nuanced portrayal of jokers possible relationship with his parents. best one I've seen so far good shit.]

Interminable Ballistics by Stealth_Noodle

Amamiya isn't nearly as terrified as he was. As he should be. Instead his head is cocked, and he sounds equal parts frustrated and confused as he says, "I thought I was getting a do-over."

Akechi stares at him. Nearly drops the gun. Tightens his grip until his gloves creak. "You remember this happening before," he says slowly, more an accusation than a question.

"Yeah. I thought it was the drugs." Amamiya gestures at the floor, where wet syringes are scattered. "Is this real?"

Akechi realizes that he was tricked into killing a cognitive Ren in time to return and kill the real one. When he wakes up the next day, it's November 20th again, and he is a very stubborn man.

Unfortunately for his plans, so is Ren.

[Goro Akechi is insane and would rather die than do better. good news!]

[xx0yeet-everything0xx]

OK SO :D

listen man. listen. jason and reyna have the potential for the most interesting dynamic in the entire rrverse and i stand by that ok. like imagine. two people who were best friends are suddenly torn apart and when they reunite through no fault of either of them one cares a lot more than the other now. losing jason was the worst thing reyna ever felt and then he came home and looked her dead in the eyes and treated her like a stranger. god i am so unwell about them anyway. im mad that this never gets explored in canon it has so much potential. the fucking tragedy of it all. they avoid each other now because one will inevitably end up saying something a little too familiar and its miserably awkward for just. everyone tbh. they cared so deeply for each other amd then it was just gone. she spent months searching for him overworked and unable to even grieve properly and he just didnt care anymore. its unclear how much memory he got back but its obviously not as clear as percy’s and thats so interestingg?? knowing you cared for this place, for this person, so much it was a part of you, and just. having no emotional attachment to it anymore. not knowing how to get back to that even if you want to. oughhhh. not knowing how to tell them the person they knew is dead or at least unrecognizable. if you take every moment and memory that makes up a person away and put newones in their place is it still the same person? she loved him more than anything. he doesnt know how to be the person she loved anymore. he doesnt know if he wants to. he avoids her, and she lets him, because really what is there to say? she still cares. he doesn’t. i dont even know how to articulate this okay just. they were best friends. and now everything has changed. and how do you cope with that. what do you do, when your best friend looks you in the eyes and treats you like a stranger? what do you do, looking a stranger in the eyes and knowing she was your best friend?

and nobody ever talks about their relationship??? like they either get ignored or treated like weird exes which is just so not what this is. anyway the implication that reyna had a crush on him was stupid thats called *amatonormativity* reyna is arocoded thank you goodnight. i am so utterly deranged about them <3

OMG ANON THANK YOU FOR THIS but literally ikr?? their entire relationship (not in a couple-y way) is just so complex and ends so tragically and it’s like. ughhhhh it literally drives me crazy to think about it and it’s so UNFAIR for both of them because reyna has to look at jason and see someone looking back with a strangers eyes and it’s like. hes there. but he’s NOT because he’s so different and then for jason he can see her but he can’t feel the emotional attachment that SHOULD be there he only knows that he once had it and instead it’s this empty feeling and. the worst part is that they never got to confront the situation with each other!! jason got back to new rome and when he left almost instantly they’d barely exchanged any words with each other so like. the most either can do is soo many presumptions and MAYBE time could’ve fixed it. maybe they could’ve one day talked it out; but god fucking damn it because they didn’t have time and the next time she got to properly see him he was in a coffin. it’s so tragic it really really HURTS and I can’t explain how it feels but u get it aishsjbsksmsksns

and no frrr reducing them to exes of any sort is just soo annoying because it’s completely taking away EVERYTHING abt their dynamic and just as you said all that’s very much linked to amatonormativity. WOW sorry for the rant here but yes im also very very deranged abt three <3

ty for this tho, anon! <333