#hardcore rap

[djevilninja]

Keep your eyes open, stay wise - shit is mind-blowin’. Look for any sign showin’ one-time is knowin’ About the dynasty, shit is not minor leagues no more; Cats bleed in this cold war.

The Firm - Phone Tap

[yellodisney]

[djevilninja]

Yo, there's no place to hide once I step inside the room; Dr. Doom, prepare for the boom, Bam! Aw, man! I slam, jam, now scream like Tarzan. I be tossin', enforcin', my style is awesome; I'm causin' more family feud than Richard Dawson.

Wu-Tang Clan - Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nuthing Ta F'Wit

*tiger style!

[bobsliquorstore]

[kaijucantdie]

Militant from head to toe isn’t stolen valor - KAIJU

[sickcarol]

“mamma tu non sai cosa passavo, non sai di quante volte ho pianto disperato nella notte, ed era tutto blu quando ero solo, blu come la morte, blu come il castello in cui mi trovo”

[principiumindividuationis777]

[lovejustforaday]

Year End List - #8

No Hands - Joey Valence And Brae

Main Genres: Hardcore Rap, Alternative Rap

A decent sampling of: Nerdcore Rap, Boom Bap, Mid-School Hip Hop, EDM, Comedy Rap

We live in an age now where certain artists can be pretty accurately described as having a "very online" sound. Usually these are artists not really belonging to any known geographical scenes, and who have a tendency to lean into things like meme culture, self-referential humour, references to online drama, and post-irony.

Though technically a neutral term in itself, I would say I more often use "very online" as a pejorative. I mostly reserve the term for artists I perceive as placing "cleverness", "edginess" and "esoteric" taste over captivating songwriting, good beats, engaging lyrics, or interesting sound textures.

100 Gecs would kinda be my go-to example of this phenomenon. Maybe I'm not Zoomer enough to get it (again, I'm pretty sure I'm a ZiLleNniAL, AkShuAlLy), but the Gecs sound and most of the hyperpop scene it spawned has always seemed to put style over substance and being "cutting-edge" and insular to internet culture over being, well, good.

There's also Dorian Electra, who in their Flamboyant days could be considered an example of "very online" done right, but eventually trended towards the style over substance issue pretty hard on their last two records.

Kind of an awkward way to start this review frankly, but the point I'm trying to get at is that I'm not easily impressed by esoteric internet references in music just because I'm a computer-dwelling over-stimulated nerd who gets all of those references. So when I do like this kind of music, I take it as pretty solid proof that there's more substance to the artist's online success than just their online-ness.

Joey Valence and Brae are the latter kind of "very online" artist. And yeah, I'll admit I'm not some kind of super fan that found these guys early on. I very much discovered them through the big exposure they got this year through the usual online channels that folks blow up on these days.

And I gotta admit I'm not entirely sold on their online presence. They play to a very stereotypically zoomer audience in the way they promote themselves on social media, and some of that's got me feeling very old-man-yelling-at-cloud. But the music speaks for itself.

I am 100% not original in making the comparison to this group, but imma do it anyway: ever wondered what it would sound like if the Beastie Boys had grown up with Xboxes, Playstation 2s and high speed internet in their homes? Well, now you know.

Joey Valence and Brae are two massive dorks and unapologetic 2000s kids from State College, Pennsylvania who can spit absolute fire on the mic. Their flow and general attitude hearkens back to an era when the term "hip hop" actually referred to hipping and hopping (yes I feel incredibly corny writing that). LL Cool J, Public Enemy, Wu-Tang Clan and many of the other in-your-face old-heads of the 80s and early 90s are pretty clear reference points for their style as rappers. And yes, the Beastie Boys too.

As for the record, No Hands is the hip hop record that I imagine me and my straight guy childhood friends would've made when we were jacked up on sugar and doritos while playing Smash Bros and WWE Smackdown Games during our late night sleepovers. I'm not entirely convinced Joey and Brae aren't just playable extras from a Tony Hawk or Matt Hoffman game that got inexplicably zapped into the real world and decided to start writing music with their newfound sentience.

The beats all over this thing are flashy, animated, vintage, and fugging seggsy. In addition to the classic beats, an assortment of EDM styles augment these tracks, from atmospheric DnB to garage house and miami bass. A real tour-de-force of different kinds of party music. Meanwhile, the lyrics are just corny enough to separate the posers from the folks who sincerely appreciate some silly fucking bangers, squareness be damned.

"BUSSIT" is a goddamn bludgeon to the balls of a opener. Pure no-fucks-given personality on those opening lines followed by that crunchy ass beat drop. "Don't need money / I just need a butt" gets a good snort out of me every time I hear that line. The DnB bridge is heavenly, like waking up in some ethereal playstation menu select screen world.

Also, let's just acknowledge this now - Joey is a total ass-man (which, same), and I appreciate how he manages to sneak in a bar rhapsodizing about the beauty of butt on every other track. Man's got a passion.

Danny Brown appears outta nowhere two tracks in on "PACKAPUNCH" and it makes me go practically apeshit. A diss track that's so silly and tongue-in-cheek that it barely threatens a kitten, but it does exude ungodly levels of cool. These guys really play to the beat of their own drum and I mad respect that.

"NO HANDS" is a sassy little jazz rap ditty with some masterful golden age hip hop turntable sounds. "Was always a misfit / teachers like thongs always up in my business / And I failed statistics...but I aced sex ed" is another line that gets a stupid giggle out of me like I'm back in grade school and someone just made a fart joke.

By far the breeziest beat is on "WHERE U FROM", which got my heaviest rotation from the record. Swanky 8-bit chords are mixed in with claps, hi-hats, and kicks and the end result is seriously addictive. Love the little pitched up "where the hell you from / whatcha doing right here?" like some little leprechaun up in my ears. Slick as fuck track.

The front end of this record is so overpowered that the second half of it kinda pales in comparison. In fairness, the second half is still pretty damn strong on its own, particularly "DOUGHBOY" and it may just be my bias that what comes first sticks with me more, since a lot of this record has much of the same general approach to songwriting ethos.

And okay, does the occasional bar make me cringe? Absolutely. Particularly any of the shit about cars, or the general materialism that I can't even fully embrace ironically. Sure, it's already prevalent in a lot of hip hop, but I find it even more grating coming from a couple of suburb kids.

That being said, I'm very much taking a record like this way too seriously in admitting that. As I stated earlier, Joey Valence and Brae clearly give no fucks, and the dudes just wanna make the kinda music that they woulda blasted in their early teens, and who am I to judge? This shit bangs.

No Hands has more personality than just about any other record released in 2024, and you'll probably laugh and shake your ass off to more than a few songs on here if you're not too high and mighty to embrace your inner child.

Highlights: "WHERE U FROM", "BUSSIT", "PACKAPUNCH", "NO HANDS", "DOUGHBOY"

8/10

For fans of:

Ill Communication by Beastie Boys Enter the Wu-Tang by Wu-Tang Clan Love And Glitter, Hot Days, and Music by Helen Love

[could-they-be-a-pro-wrestler]

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

FED UP! • GENOCIDE • ALL I WANT IN LIFE • FREDDY KRUEGER FREESTLYE

Spotify ♪ Bandcamp ♪ YouTube

[6goat6zombie6]

Non temo di morire perchè la vita mi ha rotto il cazzo.

Tutti hanno un prezzo, il brutto è scoprire quanto è basso.

[djevilninja]

Everybody’s like, “He’s no item! Please don’t like him! “He don’t wife ‘em, he one nights 'em!” Now she don’t like him, she never met him; Groupies try to take advantage of him, he won’t let 'em.

Jay-Z feat Pharrell - Excuse Me Miss

[bobsliquorstore]

[kaijucantdie]

JOIN MY VIOLENT TRIBE!

🚨 THE WAIT IS OVER: VHS IS NOW LIVE! 🚨

The Violent Hostile Situation album is officially out now on TIDAL, Apple Music, iTunes, Amazon Music, and more! This is more than an album—it’s a gritty, hardcore experience packed with bars, beat switches, and raw energy for true hip-hop heads.

VHS is for the samurais in the garden, for the lone wolves making their own path, and for anyone who refuses to compromise their grind.

Stream it. Buy it. Run it up. Let’s make this movement undeniable.

If you feel it’s worth buying!

Head to BANDCAMP MY GOAL IS 1000 sales before the year end 💪🏾🧨

Tag me when you’re bumping it—I want to see what tracks you’re rocking with.

Let’s go. 💥 #VHS #ViolentHostileSituation #HipHop #KaijuCantDie

MERCH BELOW 👇

[racunboy645]