#happy indie hipster evening | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

northwest-cryptid · 9 months ago

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oh mann. squeaking of music. you got any artists with slow relaxy type music you like? and what's your favorite instrument? and what are your top 3 video game ost's? ...three questions at once, the terrible tripler... but as a beast who loves music, i am always ravenous for music opinions...

Not gonna lie this is kind of a hard ask not only because it's a lot to answer about a topic I tend not to talk about much but because I don't really know artists so much as I know songs, and to top it all off I don't really do "top" stuff, or "favorite" stuff; it's hard for me to pick or rank a lot of the things I like, I use the term "one of my favorite" or "among the best of" when I talk about things I really like because more often than not I'd say that about ANYTHING I really like, I don't really have a favorite artist or a top OST or anything.

Most of my music consumption is random, I'll listen to playlists on youtube or soundcloud or bandcamp and such. A lot of the time an artist is less of a concern to me because majority of my experience has been that they have one song I really like, followed by about 12 more in the album that are kinda just okay but lack the style that I enjoyed so much.

That being said I'll do my best to answer since I do enjoy getting asks and you actually took the time to send me this so I will respect that by taking the time to answer it :D

Let's start with the chill relaxing stuff!

As far as Artists go if you don't mind some more kinda weird tones in your relaxing music I think Monster Rally is a great artist.

A few core examples of their vibe can be heard in Lovely You:

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as well as one I really enjoy, Color Sky:

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They have a very unique sound in my opinion and I have a lot of interest in this kind of music since it hits a weird spot for me somewhere between acoustic jam session and weird vaporwave-y daydream music.

Almost all their music is between 1 and 2 minutes and contains these short loops and layered instrumentals with occasional lyrical influences. It's pretty fun and keeps my ADHD at bay with no song being too long.

For something a little more pop-ish I also enjoy TV Girl though I don't know if their music counts entirely as "Relaxed" since it can be a little faster. I've listened to them for years, a lot of their music reminds me a lot of my time in an indie band. They play a lot of the "soft punk sad boy" type music I'd see a lot in the indie scene. I often find myself singing or humming along to these whenever I'm cleaning the house or cooking dinner.

A few tracks I like a lot are Birds Don't Sing:

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Lovers Rock:

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and The Blonde:

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Though to be honest I like a good bit of TV Girl's music so I'm trying to not list entire albums here lol. I try not to get hipster about it because for whatever reason it became oddly popular as of the last couple of years and I heard someone refer to it as "weirdcore" once and nearly died on the spot. I don't even dislike Weirdcore I just have a lot of thoughts on the idea of what the hell a genre is at this point.

Important note I am also 100% the sort of person who chills out and relaxes to Happy Hardcore and Eurobeat. So please consider the fact that my idea of relaxed varies wildly from like lounge jazz to club hardcore depending on the day. (There's literally a song that came out 7 years ago called Chillcore and it summarizes my thoughts on the subject perfectly I'd have been 21 when that song came out and I still occasionally hear it and go "yea" to this day.)

As far as favorite instrument goes I'm very partial to drums, drums of any kind. I think they're overlooked so much but then I'm bias because I'm a drummer so like of course I love drums. Any song that makes good use of drums is okay in my book. I will never forget how hard I cringed when the Bassist in my band once said "Bass is more important than Drums any day of the week, I mean literally who has ever heard of a drum solo?" I just sat there like "dude why are we even in the same band if you don't value my contribution" though she was something else in terms of like... superiority complexes. Regardless!

I may not have a top 3 Video Game OSTs since there's so many good ones out there and so many good options depending on your mood, but I will list a ton of good ones depending on the kind of mood you're in.

To keep with the theme of chill tunes let's start with a banger and one of my favorite game OSTs as to also kind of answer top 3.

VA-11 Hall-A has an amazing OST and I'm going to do the really basic bitch thing of saying you gotta listen to Every Day Is Night:

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I used to listen to this a lot whenever I worked my night shift, it gave the title a very literal meaning to me. The synth jazz was the perfect companion for long nights on the job when I needed to chill out and vibe for a bit.

Keeping in line with the relaxed but perhaps a bit more anxiety inducing; I've spoken about it a lot, you know it; you love it, it's Lobotomy Corporation's very own No Warning:

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Lob Corps whole OST has some absolutely beautiful tracks, everything from techy synths and chimes to entirely orchestral sweeping performances. I have a soft spot for this game and it's OST, as well as the OST of Library of Ruina, it's sequel, for which I'd like to highlight Malkuth's Battle Theme:

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Specifically the third tier emotion level of this song, never before have I heard "battle jazz" done so well, not only is it classy; but it KICKS ASS. There's so much I could say about this game and it's OST in terms of themes and such but I digress, for now we'll move on because I got a lot to go through.

Next up we're looking at a more fantastical setting with Mabinogi's OST, which has a ton of genuinely amazing music, but one I want to highlight is the major main theme of the game which will always give me chills and make me cry a bit from nostalgia. More specifically the version performed by the FILMharmonic Orchestra:

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This song means more to me than I can properly explain, there's so much emotion behind it for me as someone who has played this game for half my life, who met my partner through this game; and who's life has no joke been absolutely changed by this game. The OST has always been a part of my life, we even play music from this game while decorating the house for various seasons. The entire OST is so varied and expansive and there's almost always something to fit my mood.

However when I'm looking for something more upbeat, and I need to get my blood pumping I turn to a bit more action oriented music, which is where games like ULTRAKILL absolutely fit the bill. I cannot warn you enough this song is the musical equivalent of shoving shrapnel in your ears, and I mean that in the most admirable way possible.

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Heavy techno and metal vibes, you got electric guitar that's basically fighting the synth lead for the spotlight despite the two working in perfect harmony to encapsulate this absolutely disgusting rhythm.

However sometimes I want to be upbeat without the sensory overload which is when I turn to Xenoblade (takes place on Earth) to fill the niche. I've been really vibing to the jazzy upbeat nature of XC3's OST lately, and the game has been pretty fun too :D

Now see this is why I dislike answering all this in one ask, I can only post 10 videos per post. So now I just gotta link things like this:

Xenoblade 3 OST - Brilliant Wings AKA This Jazz Band Is Fighting For Their Life

I'll cut this short since Tumblr is an ass and won't let me keep posting videos, but I cannot stress enough that when it comes to music with me there are no "top 3" OSTs, or favorites. Music is a mood setter, it's a tone; it's a vibe. I gotta listen to the right music at the right time, if I'm not feeling up for it then I won't like it.

To me there's so much out there I love, and to limit myself to a top 3 is hard because it depends entirely on the day. If I'm going through a chill phase then I'm going to favor tracks with more relaxed and chilled out influences, if I've been mowing down hoards of demons in ULTRAKILL for the last 5 days straight you better believe I'm not listening to anything other than like DOOM OST and extremely thrashy techno.

I hope this answer is satisfactory regardless!

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thesinglesjukebox · 11 months ago

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BONNIE MCKEE - "SLAY"

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Will Adams unearths a pop time capsule and presents his findings to the rest of us...

[5.20]

Will Adams: I was aware of "Slay" ten years ago, even if it wasn't on iTunes. Through truncated live performances and interview snippets, I got the concept instantly: a big silly pop song that co-opted common Stan Twitter parlance of the time into a motivational anthem. But despite a stellar previous single that showed great promise and an impressive CV of hits penned for other artists, McKee's solo career seemed doomed to fizzle. With each passing month it became clearer that "Slay" would never see the light of day, so I couldn't fully embrace the song. I didn't believe I, myself, could slay. (Put less cornily and more accurately: McKee's label Epic didn't believe she could slay.) But ten years later, she announced her project to re-record her shelved album and release it independently, and the promise reignited. Then "Slay" dropped, and "reignite" felt less appropriate a descriptor than "exploded." Over a bombastic arrangement with a cadence and chord progression that recalls Hoku, the song is quintessential McKee: inspirational rallying cries ("come on, everybody, let's go!", "we can do anything!"); imagery that's punchy at first and confusing if given more than one second of thought ("flyer than firebirds"; "shine like razorblades"; "slaying like 1999"); a colossal bridge where she launches into the stratosphere and makes the song even bigger. And on top of that, spelling out the title in a pep rally affect. It's unashamed to be big, be dumb, be earnest, which makes listening to it in 2023 that much more impactful. It would be easy to cast "Slay" off as naïve yearning for the Obama-era college years, our wasted youth that might not even have been as carefree as we thought. But in spite of it all -- being hardened by a decade of Real Adult Life, of the awful shit that keeps on happening around us and to us, of the increased feeling of being unmoored from any sense of purpose -- I want to embrace it. You see, Dorothy, you've always had the power to slay. Before the 2023 release, I wouldn't have believed that. [10]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: ...iconic? [2]

Taylor Alatorre: As an incurable fan of the might-have-beens on the left of the proverbial dial, the impulse to stan a theoretical pop star is one that I empathize with. It can lead to some weird places, though, like pretending that this rewrite of Katy Perry's "Roar," shorn of its indie pop pretenses and with a muddier zero-to-hero narrative, would've lit up the charts as intended back in 2014. As with the hipster run-off of that era, maybe the wishfulness is part of the appeal. To the subset of the population for whom Bonnie McKee's unreleased album is their Dear Tommy, I'm sincerely glad you're getting what you wished for. [4]

Jeffrey Brister: We really need a critical reappraisal of Trouble, so we'll get less of this. [5]

Micha Cavaseno: The closest parallel I have to Bonnie McKee's musical career is actually the directorial career of Elizabeth Banks. Everything about it is perfectly functional but burdened with a trite and immensely DOA sense of humor that maybe had a chance to thrive 8 or 9 years ago but now just completely misses the mark. (If you overextend the narrative here, this makes the Pitch Perfects and Katy Perry stuff a kind of perfect parallel because they both thrive off the weird see-saw between conservatism and quasi-quirkiness. But I digress!) "Slay" is essentially a Cocaine Bear, because even if the punchline feels like a decades old meme, it's also slapped together in a kitsch from several decades ago. "Slay like 1999" while sounding like late '00s/early '10s pop nostalgia is a triple-double of identity crisis (made all the weirder by those subtle happy hardcore breaks at the bridge). It's so perfectly amorphous and logically commercial, yet also missing every possible mark? I'm not even mad it exists, I'm just more concerned how we justified it needed to exist now? [3]

Dorian Sinclair: Bonnie McKee has had a hell of a career and, in the process, been a writer on multiple all-time great songs ("Teenage Dream" is probably the crowning glory here, but let's give a shout out to Britney's "How I Roll" and CRJ's "Turn Me Up", two deeply underrated album cuts). I don't know that "Slay" is going to join that pantheon, and it's showing its age a bit after its release was deferred for a decade...but it's a solid song from a solid writer, and it gets me looking forward to her long-delayed second album, which is enough to be counted as a win. [6]

Ian Mathers: On the one hand, this really makes me wonder why McKee didn't just get to have Katy Perry's career directly instead of writing a lot for her. On the other... I don't actually like those Katy Perry singles that much, and all the goodwill towards McKee in the world doesn't change that this sounds a lot like them. [6]

Michael Hong: The further we get from "Teenage Dream," the less the American dream seems viable, the more it seems unattractive -- unfortunate for Bonnie McKee, whose music sounds like sparklers and stars and stripes all written in glowing neon letters. This version is just too theatrical; the way she sings the word "technicolor" is far too excessive. [4]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: I naively thought we were doing away with this sort of label-mandated Search Engine Poptimisation, where keywords are stuffed into a song and its title, ensuring that it shows up at the top of confused uncles' Google searches until the end of time. Brazen, yes, but if you can give this songwriting prompt some heft, the shortcut is forgiven. Nope! "SLAY" (even the try-hard all-caps!) is engineered to make you think of different better songs you've heard in different better places, a cynical DayGlo casing that sounds like it was destined for a Buffalo Wild Wings Pride commercial instead of a major label release. Screw the SEO and dig deeper; there is better, organic, REAL affirma-pop out there, and you know it. [2]

Brad Shoup: Will this be the last pop song to reference Technicolor? "Slay" is out of step in so many ways: a widescreen arena-pop yearner in a time of grim partying, with a title that would have been in the pop vanguard when McKee originally wrote it. (In the video, she pulls the song from a synthwave vault -- door code 2013 -- and it's on a VHS tape.) It's really moving to see that McKee still believes in these big gestures, in the goofy metaphor that ushers you to the towering bridge. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: "Welcome to the part of the show / where we fake it 'til we make it." That's an irritating thing to say on a pop song. First, it's giving the game away. All pop is fake. It's the amalgamation of every genre, flattened until acceptable and accessible to anyone who would turn their nose up at the depths of it. Why let anyone know that you fake it? Second, it's an awkward line. The drum patter is kick snare kick-kick snare, and it lands so clumsily on that patter that it jars you either awake into "what, what does that even mean" or "oh ok, fine." It's not a sudden spark of wit, just a jarring reminder of the actual project here -- allowing you a peek into a swelling bubble of confidence. Thirdly, each lyric after and at the beginning of the second verse is as clumsily sung, as is the chant, but it feels right to have them in that way, and they turn to mush the way pop song lyrics should. They're not itchy and scratchy the way that first line is. Finally, because it's so revealing, awkward and jarring, the rest of the song fades once you hear it, since the hook, the drums and even the seething synth line jumping up and down the chorus, all melt into each other since they all cancel each other out. It don't slay, it just swipes. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: OMG it's got a "spell out a word" hook I'm in love

Tara Hillegeist: Oh, so that's what Dua Lipa was missing. [7]

Alfred Soto: MARGO CHANNING: A mass of music and fire. That's me. An old kazoo and some sparkles. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: I got into an argument the other day with someone else my age about whether millennials are middle-aged yet -- they thought no, I think yes. My argument is admittedly vibes-based, swayed less by historical context than how many gray hairs I eradicated on that particular morning. But it's hard not to declare that you're in your midlife crisis era when you hear millennial Don Quixote-core like "Slay," which is only 10 years old but feels like an artifact from an ancient era with an equally ancient worldview. We all hear Katy Perry and "Halo"; what truly marks this as a genuine 2010s production rather than zoomer retromania is how many of the era's minor artists you hear. Specifically, I hear Catcall in the shouts, and MS MR in the way Bonnie McKee clips notes short. McKee's songwriting stakes out her usual turf, a lightly subversive yet unironically inspirational underdog anthem -- think the midpoint of Grease, Tank Girl, and Ready Player One, for those who too were raised by the television. Ultimately, though, "Slay" is a Bonnie McKee song that wasn't given to Katy Perry (or whomever); it's too easy to devise just-so explanations for why. Were the hooks too dulled, too inconsistent? Maybe, but so were the ones in "Part of Me." Were the lyrics miscalibrated -- too razor-blade explicit, or conversely too earnest and uncool? We have pejoratives for this sort of thing now: girlboss, Disney adult, Marvel fan. (Whether someone actually likes Disney or Marvel or has a managerial job is irrelevant to the online gaze.) But for every "Fight Song" and "Roar" on the charts, there was a "Government Hooker" or "Cannibal" in the album tracks that got even bloodier. The most likely explanation is luck: someone woke up too hungover to send an email, too sick for the earworm to take, too grumpy to want to reach for glory from the gutter. Whatever the reason, the song's nonexistence as an actual 2013 single adds another layer of subtext. Not only is "Slay" about seizing at a dream that's a decade dead, it's about seizing at a dream that maybe wasn't even alive at the time either. McKee deploys the firebirds and pop hooks regardless, and they roar to life oblivious but loud. We slay on, us aging diamonds. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#bonnie mckee #music #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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bluebellbanshee · 8 hours ago

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My Random Personal Spotify Daylist titles

Indie chill twee late night

Cat walk 2020s early morning

Bilingual breakup morning

Chill Rock 90s afternoon

Mellow Pop hipster night

Empowering treadmill morning

Journaling rain afternoon

Alternative 00s indie evening

International bilingual morning

Happy indie Alternative monday evening

Canadian indie cancon night

Gentle Yoga thursday morning

Breakup situationship friday

Journaling situationship night

Heartbroken bilingual morning

Yoga singer Songwriter afternoon

Post punk revival canadian indie evening

Happy indie 00s Alternative thursday

Make out love Song evening

People pleaser wanderlust afternoon

Lovesick lovecore morning

Relationship scream morning

#Spotify #Daylist

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puttheblindsdown · 2 months ago

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Me?? Happy???? Yeah :)

I’m barely on here because my time is mostly spent by thinking about the cutest person in the entire universe? (I mean, it’s also because I’m tired or reading or playing Stardew Valley or watching a sport, let’s be real)

No really, there was a time where I thought I wouldn’t be alive right now because someone drove me to attempt su*c*de because they made me feel like worthless garbage. And this person saw me and makes me feel priceless? This person who knows I have a bad relationship with food and doesn’t make me feel bad about it and is always so proud of me when I eat some oatmeal and a banana? I get to be this person’s babygirl? And they get to be my babygirl? And we both get to coexist together as babygirls? And who asks me on Sundays if I’m doing something pertaining to God because I’m devout and they know that and don’t knock it (to be fair, most people are cool with it)? The person who doesn't mind when I yap a lot? The person I have a lot in common with so the historical discussions never get stale and the conversation is never dull?

The person I have a playlist for and am able to put anything that reminds me of them into it and they won’t make fun of me about it? The person I have an entire Pinterest board for and didn’t get told to delete it? To quote one of my favorite singers (Megan Moroney), “he says what he means, and he means what he says, and he’s funny, and he’s smart, and he’s good in…”. The person who actually makes me feel beautiful and good in my skin and like my life is worth living? The person I can tell my most personal life experiences and doesn't bat an eye and instead tells me that I'm still valid and pure and clean?

I’m happy that the bag (me) was fumbled and I’m happy that no one else caught it. I have anxiety a lot because there ARE prettier girls out there but the anxiety has been calmer lately and kept at bay. I haven't written a note in I don't know how long. I cherish every single second we get to have. I get to hear about indie hipster music that I’ve developed a liking to (there’s a song by Hippo Campus that will probably be on my Spotify wrapped) and hear about pie types and think about wearing an apron around and I hear about TV shows I’ve never watched and I get to think about Walmart runs and learn about books and authors I haven't heard of and so many great things that I never thought about before.

And if anyone is curious, there’s been about a 200 pound weight gain. I’d never choose anyone else who was over 600 pounds. Ever. There’s no one else I want to do any of this with (I mean that in a fetish and non-fetish way). We often talk about further than 600 pounds and it's always (always) whatever the other person wants but I'm so honored that it's me who got to help get past 600 (it's unconfirmed because the scale doesn't go that high, oops) and on to 700 and perhaps even on to 800 or double the weight of the second biggest I've been with.

I guess it comes down to… your honor, I have a really huge crush on this person and I’m blessed and lucky and thankful and happy.

I'm so, so happy.

#me.pic #me.txt #if he's reading this hi I like you a lot

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lizzygrantarchives · 13 years ago

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Hipster Runoff, January 17, 2012

I have a blog called HIPSTER RUNOFF. Every day, I wake up, open my laptop, and type words that are stored in the internet as ‘content.’ My goal is to ‘get as many hits’ as possible because I metaphorically ‘have mouths to feed.’ I realize that at this point, it doesn’t matter if my content is ‘premium’, pseudo-brilliantly written web_prose or just ‘link-bait-wave,’ I was fortunate enough to not have gotten lost in the ‘long tail’ of indie music + Gen-Y-opinion-driven coverage blogs. Every day, I prey upon different buzz topics, exploiting my voice, but more importantly, my position as a ‘recognized outlet 4 buzz’ to try to trick people into thinking I am ‘relevant’, which basically just means that I am trying to make ppl talk abt my blog and get them addicted to my web brand even if they hate it because even when they are like ‘OMG THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT’ it is just some sort of post-grassroots-h8-wave-warketing.

My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’

Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website.

Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, and the internet is deleted, will I only be remembered as “The Guy Who Invented Chillwave?”

It feels like Lana Del Rey was sent down from the buzz heavens, God’s way to save us from the well-documented buzz drought that has plagued us since early 2k10. Some blamed the buzzbands for not putting out solid mp3s. They said that there were not enough buzzworthy bands 2 authentically buzz and that buzz was being misappropriated unfairly due to blogosphere favors and the fear of hurting the feelings of legacy, past-their-prime buzzbands. In the post-LDR bubble burst world, we are finally able to see what caused the buzz drought: it was the bloggers, the writers, the content farmers, and the implosion of the sub-prime buzzing crisis that has been the expanding crack in the foundation the indie blogging and content farming infrastructure since as far back as 2k8.5.

LanaBB officially redefined the core competencies of the ‘indie blogosphere.’

We used to be tastemakers. We used to be regulators. We used to be trustworthy. We used to be a valuable resource. Lana made it okay for us to post magazine covers. Lana Del Rey was pretty enough to post even the most irrelevant performance video. For the first time, Lana Del Rey took indie blogs over ‘the edge’, and made it okay for us to speculate about her physical appearance, which is way more interesting than trying to figure out if her artistic ambitions are ‘relevant’/pure. Basically, Lana Del Rey finally marginalized ‘the decently-enough-thought-out opinion piece’ into a worthless meme that any one could poop out.

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#LDRSNL marked another maturation/retardation milestone for ‘online indie journalism’, bringing the indie blogosphere from a humble place that posted MP3s with generally positive/neutral commentary, and flung us right into the generalist meme-blurb content farm spotlight. We scrambled like enslaved content farmers, minutes after the performance to preserve our Google rank with a perfectly placed headline. We were ready to chew up and spit out memes, finally ‘graduating to the big leagues’ with a ‘big boy meme’, not just some other over-written ‘spotlight’ on a group of poor dudes from Brooklyn who were ToTtaLLY wErTh ChEcKiNg OuT and/or the typical ‘no one cares--what happened to REAL music?’ reaction pieces to said buzzband.

Buzz experts truly believe that Lana Del Rey is the last artist/band that the network of indie blog buzz will have a role in ‘hyping.’ The happy days of the AnCo 2k9 buzzosphere are long gone, and we all cannot just get along. After Lana Del Rey, we live in a hypeless world where we trust no outlet, now that we have finally seen the hype apocalypse because the LDR snake-eating-its-own-tail cycle has finally ended, and the sum is “-0” [via undefined]. Readers who once thought that they were reading organic, farm-grown content will feel misled, angry, and betrayed by the warped context of blogs.

I’ll admit that as a blog, I am obsessed, and probably over-estimate the impact of ‘modern web media’ on ‘reality.’ But it seems like LDR was a blogosphere ‘passion project’ that we incubated, and got to ‘tear down’ for the sake of generating, controlling, and commenting our own content. We enjoyed it, sorta like while u r stroking ur peen, but then u finally ‘effing blow’, and you are not sure whether you should admit ‘how good’ it felt. After #LDRSNL, no one is sure who has control of the #LDR meme any more. It was her viking meme funeral, even if she goes on to achieve mad sales in Europe/decent sales in America.

“Where r u Lizzy Grant? R u okay? I swear, I care about you. Blogs r mean. :-(” -some blog with female readers

LDR should probably make other alt famous humans and upcoming buzz humans incredibly nervous, because the silent agreement of ‘pandering’ to indie celebs is over. The concept Indie celebrity may or may not exist, but a successful blog now must realize that the way indie blogs ‘baby’ the ‘alt famous’ in order to preserve relationships can no longer exist. Mudslinging will be beneficial to both parties. Maybe after LDR, it will no longer be a good idea to be ‘an anonymous’ project because then dumb blogs will just use Google to construct an unfair narrative for you.

I think the most interesting/most-covered story to come out of the #LDRSNL tank job was the ‘widely read and covered’ story about the guy who invented Gawker and revolutionized modern content farming, Nick Denton, publishing a private email from famous NBC newsanchor Brian Williams for the sake of ‘winning hits’ and introducing the Gawker web-brand to non-readers. In the email, NBC Nightly news anchor Brian Wiliams basically just says LDR is a disgrace, but I guess it is ‘interesting’ because he works for NBC, or something. His commentary on ‘her’ as a ‘person’ is as arbitrary & worthless as yours or mine, but the keyword synergy behind the story is ‘so money’ and it ‘doesn’t even know it’, except Gawker’s genius content farm editor has a sixth sense for virality that most crappy bloggers will never have. A.J. Daulerio will always be remembered as one of the Founding Fathers of Modern Content Farming.

As I struggle to deal with my own periodic content farm existential crises, I wish I could have just invented Gawker. We could’ve had it all. Rolling in the deep pool of unique visitors.

In no way is the ‘conversion of blogs to content farms’ and ‘the secret corporate nature of indie blogs’ a fresh, relevant, or innovative ‘take’. I am just trying to share my view from inside the meme prison with you. Lana Del Rey and I are on this content farm together sort of like we are the last and only two humans left on Earth. We hate eachother, but at the same time we need eachother to stay alive. There will never be any sort of cathartic epiphany where we admit wrong-doing, nor will there ever be a genuine reconciliation. We will never have what feels like a ‘real’ relationship with Lana Del Rey.

Where does ‘the modern media’s relationship’ with Lana Del Rey go from here?

Unfortunately for indie bloggers, it is back to posting dumb MP3s and serving as a well-crafted PR blast for bands that every1 already knows about. As ‘writers’/people who publish text to webpages on the internet, can we be so sure that another meme comet like Lana Del Rey will come again in our lifetime? Will we sit on our porch, every day looking up at the sky, wondering if another Lana will come by... Or this this our final chance to ‘commit suicide’ with other members of our stupid cult in an effort to be transported into the buzz spaceship that is trailing in the tail of the comet [via Heaven’s Gate/Marshall Applewhite vibes]?

Why do we keep going? Why do we keep farming in the name of blogging in the name of writing?

In the name of authentic music journalism? What more in the name of authentic music journalism. -Bono [via U2]

Online publishing is ‘relatively new’ [via long-term historical contexts]. I guess this is just a natural part of the maturation process of the beloved idea of the indie blogosphere. But who even wants to be a part of indie blog farming any more?

Even the most ‘talented’ people who ‘write things on the internet that are actually worth reading’ and/or are reduced to farm fodder. Every character of a writer, blog, or content farm’s 140 character or less tweet is cringe-worthy, 100% worth resenting. Part of me feels ‘confused’ as to why any one would even want to ‘be a music writer’, or write about bands/humans/music on the internet. It takes a warped personality to believe that any one ‘gives a damn about what you and ur crappy website’ thinks, unless you are being paid handsomely for it, then you can sort of approach it like a desk job. It will dehumanize you every day, but at least it pays the bills.

Who is ‘actually passionate’ about ‘how they feel about Lana Del Rey’? It doesn’t matter if you are writing an ‘IN DEFENSE OF LANA DEL REY’ or if you are writing a hilarious and/or insightful web culture + societal takedown piece that accurately deconstructs #LDRgate with an original angle. We all have the same motive. Can 1 voice really shift an entire conversation? What the eff do u think ur gonna tastemake? Do u think u can really make another LDR? Those days are gone, child. We’ve peaked. It’s over. The machine’s broken. Somebody call the Geek Squad.

I am on the edge. I no longer believe in blog evolution. I no longer believe in buzz creationism. I am a believer in buzz intelligent design.

It is interesting to think that there is a generation who even finds these memes to be ‘interesting’ enough to think that they want to be a part of the indiesphere discussion. Do they think the can ‘save’ it by showing us cool, new bands? Do they think they can save us from the content farming doom? Do they think that they can reverse the impact of social media on the speedy, link-baiting nature of all websites, designed to ‘get a good jump on’ SEO?

The indie blogosphere is over the hill. Our opinions are old, tired, uninspired. The next generation will follow our lead, continuing to turn things into poo, inspired by the biased outlook on indie celebrity and relevance that we portrayed to them for years. There is nothing worth saving. Everything is COMPLETELY EFFED, but it will keep going, and we will keep writing that it is COMPLETELY EFFED, but no1 really cares and there isn’t really anything to fix so I guess maybe we should act like it is a beautiful indie film and find ‘happiness and peace’ with that truth.

It is all just sort of just ‘funnie’ but also ‘sad.’ Are the dreams in which Lana Del Rey is dying on the stage of SNL = the best we’ve ever had?

Lana Del Rey saw it coming. We all saw it coming.

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In the post-LDR blogging era, I feel free to openly admit that I don’t care about honoring ‘bands that sound good’. The opinions that I have on bands are not actually my own, and my goal is not to preserve a relationship with readers or bands/artists based on editorial pandering. All I can do is ‘go down in flames’ with my sweet, Princess LanaBB. My demented online personality that motivates me to type these words in order to accumulate hits, empathy, praise, and controversy does not have much time left.

Wag The Blog.

Cultural criticism on the internet is dying because we finally realized that the voices behind blogs, twitter feeds, and authentic writing outlets are as fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous as the fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous voices that we thought we had escaped from.

I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.

Lana & Me had it all. I’ll look back and think about what I could have done differently. But I'll also think about how beautiful our effed up relationship was and how it some how 'just worked.'

To music and indie purists, Lizzy Grant is the AntiChrist. To indie modernists and loveslaves of internet content, Lana Del Rey is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Having said that, Lana Del Rey hit a GRAND SLAM on SNL. U did it, BB! I am proud of u. U took 1 for ‘the team’, and now we’re all gonna go to Pizza Hut after the game to celebrate. C U THERE. Let’s share a pitcher of Pepsi. We deserve it. We worked hard.

Is Lana Del Rey indie’s ‘Rebecca Black moment’? Is LDR ‘not even a big deal’? Do all buzz humans die? What’s ur fave content farm? What’s the future of indie blogosphere? Do u generally feel ‘who cares’ abt it all? Do u mainly load webpages ‘out of habit’ not rlly because the site emotionally resonates with u? If u thought LDR album cycle #1 was fun, are you PUMPED for album cycle #2 in 2-3 years? Does LDR 'have it all' or 'have nothing'? Do u <3 LDR for emancipating us from being farm slaves? Can the farm become self-ware [via skynet]? Where is Lana Del Rey right now?

"The Great Lana Del Rey Meme Harvest" by Carles

Set to the tune of Garth Brooks' "The Dance"

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Looking back on the memory of The Lana Del Rey meme harvest we shared on all the content farms For a moment all the world was right How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye?

And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance U could have missed the pain, cyberbullying and slutshaming But I'd of had to miss the great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Memeing you, I memed everything For a moment, wasn't I the king? But if I'd only known how the king would fall Hey who's to say you know... I might have changed it all...

And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go [via SNL] Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the Lana Del Rey meme harvest Yes my bloglife is better left to chance I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the Great Lana Del Rey meme harvest

Luv u Lana. Mean it. <3 :-*

Originally published on hipsterrunoff.com with the headline Lana & Me: Our Dark, Abusive, Co-Dependent Relationship on the Content Farm.

#2012 #non-Lana #Hipster Runoff #Carles

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themovieblogonline · 7 months ago

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Interview: Waypoint's Ken Kao on "Cuckoo" & Indie Film

Remember that scene in "Singin' in the Rain" where Gene Kelly belts out a joyous tune about dreamers and musicals? Now replace that top hat with a baseball cap, and that rain with a drizzle of indie film festival tears. Because let's face it, the path of an independent filmmaker isn't exactly paved with gold. Budget woes are a constant companion, studios can be fickle aunts, and the rejection pile can grow bigger than a hipster's beard. But hold up, aspiring auteurs! A new challenger has entered the game, and they're not just playing games. Waypoint Entertainment is a Hollywood studio, surprisingly, with a surprisingly deep wallet and an even deeper interest in indie dreams. That's right, studios are scooping up indie films with the fervor of a kid at a candy store. But before you start picturing endless greenlights and champagne showers, let's dissect this phenomenon. So, what's the deal with studios suddenly getting chummy with the indie crowd? Well, it's a bit of a two-way street, as Waypoint Entertainment's Josh Rosenbaum explains: "Studios are looking for that spark, that unique voice that can break through the noise," he says. We all know that audiences are fickler than a Wi-Fi connection in a coffee shop. Blockbuster sequels rake in the big bucks, sure, but audiences crave fresh stories and unique voices. Enter the indie filmmaker, bursting with raw talent and a narrative that doesn't involve superheroes or CGI explosions. Studios see these indies as a shot of cinematic adrenaline, a chance to snag a film that could spark awards buzz and critical acclaim. But it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Studios aren't exactly known for their free-spiritedness. They might be loosening the purse strings, but they're still looking for a return on their investment. That means a dash of compromise might be on the menu. Here's the thing: indie films often wear their artistic integrity on their sleeve. Studios, on the other hand, have a bottom line to consider. So, the question becomes: can these two seemingly opposite forces find a happy medium? The answer, like a perfectly cast indie ensemble, is a resounding maybe. Some in the industry worry that studios will neuter the very qualities that make indie films special. They fear cookie-cutter plots and Hollywood homogenization. But others see this as an opportunity for collaboration, as Ken Kao from Waypoint Entertainment highlights: "It's not about studios dictating the vision. It's about finding the right partners who can elevate your film while staying true to its core message." Studios can provide the resources and marketing muscle that indies often lack, while filmmakers can infuse their projects with fresh energy and innovative storytelling. Neon, a studio known for distributing edgy arthouse films, has become a champion of this new model. They partnered with films like "Parasite" and "I, Tonya," helping them achieve both commercial success and critical adoration. It's a win-win, with studios getting a profitable indie darling and filmmakers getting their artistic vision seen by a wider audience. So, what does this all mean for the future of indie cinema? Is it the dawn of a golden age, or a prelude to a sellout? The truth, as always, is probably somewhere in between. Studios are definitely playing a more prominent role in the indie sphere, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. With careful navigation and a commitment to artistic integrity, this new dynamic could lead to a vibrant film landscape where indie dreams meet studio savvy, creating a cinematic explosion unlike anything we've seen before. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a screenplay to finish. And maybe a dream sequence to pitch to a studio exec (with a killer soundtrack, of course). Wish me luck! Dive Deeper: Indie Dreams and Waypoint Entertainment Want to hear more about the exciting world of indie filmmaking and Waypoint Entertainment's latest project, "Cuckoo"? Check out my interview with Ken Kao from Waypoint Entertainment below! In this conversation, we discuss the challenges and opportunities facing independent creators today. https://youtu.be/YZ6iBwd33lY Read the full article

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projecthipster · 1 year ago

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(500) Days of Summer

"It's these cards, and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. We're responsible. I'M responsible. I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not some words that some stranger put in their mouth. Words like love, that don't mean anything. Sorry, I'm sorry, I quit. There's enough bullshit in the world without my help."

This is a hard movie for me to review because in order to acknowledge its goodness I have to confront my own most entrenched flaws. A lot, like a LOT of the stories in these lists of Hipster Things have to do with the flaws of pretentious men in various ways. Almost like that’s a theme, hmmm. Of course I mean pretension by the definition: an aspiration or intention that may or may not reach fulfillment. I tend to do a lot of aspiring and intending, and then real life, or my own usually psychological shortcomings, which are both extensive and multitudinous, get in the way. I do this with jobs, and trips, and just about everything that could be overplanned. And I do this with relationships, which gives me a desperate escape route out of the personal and back into (500) Days of Summer, which will still be part of my ongoing personal crisis of ambition, but more by proxy. Yeah, officially the title has parentheses.

Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt, of giraffe fame,) is a guy. He studied architecture (like me,) but he’s working as a writer for a greeting card company, selling the natural pithiness of all quirked up white boy indie protagonists as little marketable epithets of condensed pith (not quite like me, I get my pith out in guiding tours, plus I have Tumblr.) He’s desperate for some sort of romantic affection (same) and the meat of the story explains to us his tendency to project onto objects of his own affection and imagine great significance in relationships based on the smallest indications (do I even need to say it?) This movie is, the narrator tells us, a story about love, but not a love story. That’s good par moi. I don’t tend to like love stories. They’re full of artifice and only serve to make me feel lonely, which I don’t need any help with. The chronologically earlier and more love-story-esque portions of (500) Days are watchable because of the flash-forwards to more enjoyable post-breakup scenes of abject misery and self-loathing. That’s the good stuff! And since Tom's incurable romanticism is what hurts people around him and spells his own misery, I think that technically makes this an Aristotlean tragedy.

Opposite Tom is famous quirky girl and hipster darling Zooey Deschanel (Franny Deschanel unaccounted for) playing the role of Summer Finn, whom he immediately falls for after she shares and compliments his music taste. Understandable - wouldn’t we all? Summer insists that she doesn’t believe in love, but is happy enough to fool around. Tom wants her to completely fill the void in his heart, so he outright ignores this and imagines her as his forever soul mate. Again, mood. The crux of Tom’s development is him growing past this pretension, though it ends on a hanging note of asking whether he can ever really change. That makes it sound like a tense or dark cliffhanger, but it’s more of a tongue-clucking “oh, that man!” kind of joke.

And that brings us to why I like this movie despite my general disdain for romcoms. In the hands of another director, aiming for a more serious introspective tone, this whole more realistic plot could be depressing as all get-out. But instead, Marc Webb, who had until then directed music videos and would go on to direct some mediocre Spider-Man movies probably just because of his surname, honed the late-2000s quasi-indie halfway-to-a-music video style to a point. (500) Days of Summer isn’t afraid to be fun, to skirt reality with fourth wall breaks and flash mobs, or to drop for a minute into a parody of expressionist silent film. Mostly this stylistic flair is comedic. In one especially memorable and compulsively rewatchable sequence, playing Tom’s expectations of a party next to the reality, it’s wrenching and all too real, but most importantly it’s interesting. This is hardly an arthouse movie, but it outshines its genre in creativity and care for its characters and storytelling. The soundtrack helps here. Scattered throughout the movie are needle drops from the record collection of the coolest 2000s hipster you’ve never known: The Smiths get a whole scene, my Calgary homegirl Feist is here, along with the obligatory Simon and Garfunkel, a Pixies cover, and an improv dance number to Hall and Oates’ “You Make My Dreams.” Overall the movie rides a nice balance being too cutesy to tolerate and too grim to enjoy on a lazy evening.

I give this Hipster Movie four yearning glances out a train window out of five.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the tenth list, 80 Hipster Movies You Must See.

Stay deck.

Next up: one rather more violent movie or another, it depends on some circumstances.

#500 days of summer #(500) days of summer #movies #joseph gordon levitt #zooey deschanel #hipster #hipsters #feist #the smiths #simon and garfunkel

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beazt · 1 year ago

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HIHI HELLOOO >:3 songs for you!!! none of em are very out there (all indie rock/similar, all in english), but i tried to go for smaller artists :33

“dead to me” — eel valley

“flounder” — quinnie

“kids in the summer” — joe p

“pity party for penny” — cherry tree parade (this one’s only on youtube)

“st paul’s baptist missionary blues” — la dispute

“the fox and the bird” (song) — ok goodnight

im comfy having bad taste btw <3 no hard feelings if these are boring BWHAHAH

tumblr don’t crash and don’t make my Spotify crash while I’m typing this challenge (impossible)

dead to me is SOOO definitely going in my playlists (already put it in there before typing this) I Love It so much. I really really connect with the lyrics. bless

flounder is also a Very Good Song tailored to me. some small lil biology tidbits in a way. I could go on an infodump about flounder vision but I will refrain. also worth mentioning the line “digitize your parents house” probably has a clearer meaning than I’m picking up, but since I am GIS certified I just think of digitizing houses which is a real process in GIS where you essentially make a polygon to represent the house in a spatially referenced digital representation of the area. lmfao

kids in the summer: I like this song, it is pleasing to listen to, but I don’t really connect with it + a bit more low energy than I typically listen to (at least before the second verse) not a bad song at all tho!!

Pity party for penny: great song! great vibes. I can definitely see myself listening to this again even tho it can’t go in my playlist (bc not on Spotify) I Also misheard “in place of bangs” as “in place of fangs” before I had the lyrics pulled up. That gave it a lil more sinister vibe but I think it’d fit with the spying eyes

St. Paul’s Missionary Baptist Church Blues: Ah good ol La Dispute. A classic band but unfortunately I just do not vibe with them in general (as far as I know there’s nothing wrong with them tho, but I don’t know much) I enjoy their lyrics (including this song!) but I just do not particularly like the delivery of them, I can see the appeal just does not please my ears. sorry </3

the fox and the bird: beautiful song and beautiful vocals and lyrics that read like poetry!! going ahead and throwing it in a specific playlist cause it’s not a typical vibe I go for but I do want to hear it again. I really love the part “his wings grew thin, his spirit didn’t care” ofc bird (and fox which is another Critter, affectionate) themed so automatically in my favor

thank u so much for the recommendations!!! I gained Several new songs to listen to and I will probably inevitably check out the artists from the songs I really liked more in depth. And a few of them are indeed quite underground like u said which 1) makes my inner hipster so happy 2) supporting small artists <3 3) it’s Wild to think if each of my followers listened to each song (which will not happen. many of them are inactive blogs) I could genuinely multiply their listener or view counts by like 10++ (if everyone subscribed to the cherry tree parade from my followers list, it’d increase their subscriber count by over 80x. Isn’t that WILD)

again thank u!!!

#lous clues #ask #hellhare #music recs #music recommendations

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safyresky · 1 year ago

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I FORGOR ALL ABOUT THIS AJHSIUWRHI

Thank you for the tag @saintartemis!!!! here're mine :)

favourite colour: going thru a nasty (affectionate) purple phase rn! may spray paint my new car purple in the future. it's bad. i love purple. purble. PURP.

currently reading: "A Caribbean Heiress in Paris" by Adrianna Herrera. I saw "An Island Princess Starts a Scandal" first, which is book 2, and read it, and was like I LOVE THESE LESBIANS, and then HALFWAY THRU THE BOOK there's this throwaway line that's like "the trio sat in Scotland two weeks later, exhausted after an epic near death battle with rival brewers" and I went PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S THE NEXT BOOK.

WRONG! TURNS OUT IT WAS THE FIRST BOOK! SO I GRABBED IT FROM THE LIBRARY AND AM PRESENTLY READING IT! I haven't made it very far but my god. I am HERE for the high-spirited lady and hot looking scotsman taking over the brewery world in 1800s Paris. v excited to see how tf it goes from beer competitions to MURDERS. ATTEMPTED, THAT IS. I've got a lieu day this Friday bc of a work event Saturday, and I am going to FINISH THIS BOOK. I NEED TO. AH.

last series: rewatching Disenchantment with the husbando bc he'd never seen anything past part 1 and I never finished part 4 and part 5 came out. It's been a fun ride! Way more enjoyable the second time around, too! Probz bc there's less gaps between seasons, lol. It's a fun show!

last song: Getaway by Saint Motel was the last played in my daylist playlist, which, this evening, is called "happy indie hipster Wednesday night" bc APPARENTLY I listened to happy indie and hipster on Wednesday night. FAR CRY FROM THIS MORNING'S. WHICH WAS CALLED "YEARNING COTTAGECORE WEDNESDAY MORNING". wildin. Apparently I listened to "melancholic" weds mornings so it gave me THAT playlist, one of the grnres of which was "DARK ACADEMIA"

HOW DO YOU DARK ACADEMIA A SONG?

anyway.

sweet, savoury, or spicy? Love me some sweets, but also love me some spicy to BURN MY TONGUE RIGHT OFF!

currently working on: Crystal Springs, as always. Also penning some letters to friendos rn! At work we're still chugging away on Gothic Fantasy, which has slowed since the school year has started again and we have classes at least once a week :)

Thanks for the tag! I love these lil games >:) I am going to tag some of you guys too, but plz, if u wanna do this consider this a general tag!! @definitelyy-not-a-vampire @lmelodie @someheroescarryfloss and berhaps @mellomadness and @shittyelfwriter if you guys are feeling it??? No pressure, of course!!!

Come in! and know me better, man!

thank you for the tag @museums-etc! Sorry it took a few days!

favorite color: Dark green!

currently reading: I'm rereading an old fav, The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope.

last series: Yamada-Kun to Lv 999 is so cute!! I love these two dorks.

last song: Trustfall by PINK is on a loop in my head right now.

sweet, savory, or spicy? That’s hard. Savory or sweet!

currently working on: finishing up my current embroidery. I'm hoping I can finish it and start a new one before the holidays!

Tagging a few people, but anyone is welcome to join! @rainmonarch @chaotic-historian @museeeuuuum @safyresky @marzipanandminutiae

#but go crazy if you want!!#tag games #love these lil bitches! such FUN #tag game #literally cannot recall my tag for these things so we'll do singular AND plural #and if anyone likes doing these and likes being tagged in them lmk! i'm happy to tag people in these #they're FUN :D #ALSO sorry for uh reblogging and adding? I like to avoid that but it's late and i saw this and went OH SHIT #AND WAS LIKE. REBLOG AND ADD WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR NEW POSTS WE'VE LEFT A CHERISHED MUTUAL ON READ FOR TOO LONG #anyway i am OFF to cs and letter write and SLEEP soon too lmao #cheers guys! have a good night !!!! or a good morning if ur all the way over the pond and then some :)

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reidgraygubler · 3 years ago

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nine in the afternoon (chip taylor/reader)

Title: nine in the afternoon Request: Yes! Couple: Chip Taylor/Fem!reader Category: smut Content Warning: Sexual Content (sex while under the influence of drugs and drinking, penetrive sex, grinding, groping, handjob), making out, drinking, drugs (marijuana & a mention of an unknown substance), brief mention of a past SA Word Count: 5,622 Summary: Chip Taylor is captivated by a girl he meets at a small concert in a club in Denver, Colorado. Will they keep the anonymity or will they break and want to know everything about each other? A/N: mildly based on the song slow hands by niall horan. Pom (aka @imagining-in-the-margins ) put this request up in her discord and I was instantly in love with it. I hope you guys enjoy this piece! thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

I tried to avoid clubs as best as I could. After everything that happened with Eliza, Violet, and Monica, and the fight of the 68,000 dollars, I tried to leave the busy party places alone. They weren’t my scene anymore and weren’t ever going to be again.

Except for when I was in Denver, Colorado. I had moved on from living on a coast, or in the South and wanted to give the Mountains a try. It was different than the plainness of Louisiana. The people were wildly different too, not just hicks. But to be fair, I was one of those hicks from Louisiana. Now though… Now I was the hipster in Denver, Colorado.

It had been a few months since I had settled in my small home just outside of Denver. It was exactly what I needed after the life I had. No one knew me here. It was the perfect rest for me. I could be whoever I wanted, and no one would know that I was Chip Taylor.

I was looking for something to do. So, I was out late, walking around Denver, hoping to stumble upon something to do. At this point in time, I think walking into a bar might be the best thing to do tonight, even if I didn’t want to drink. It might be fun… Who knows? Anything could happen.

And that’s exactly what happened. A club called Lost Lake Lounge was hosting a small concert. The crowd was a decent size, if I just stood in the back of the room and kept to myself, maybe tonight wouldn’t be too bad. Right?

By the looks of the people in the crowd, the band must’ve been a small indie band. A band that not many people knew, but a lot of people clearly enjoyed. Maybe this would be something that took up the silence in my empty home. Everyone was so into the music and themselves that I should be able to slip right into the scene, hopefully unnoticed.

The lounge had a hazy cloudiness grow over it all. All the people around me were enjoying the live music and the various mixtures of drugs they had. The cloudiness was probably from the number of joints that were being passed around. I’d be a filthy fucking liar if I said I didn’t take a hit or two when one was passed to me. And damn did it feel good. It was a high that I didn’t know I had needed and was happy to have.

My eyes scanned the room, watching all the people dancing and shouting along to the live music. I was perfectly content standing in the back of the lounge, minding my own business and watching the band, and smoking a joint every once and a while. It was what I came out to do tonight. I had no other intentions other than just people watching.

But that was until I saw her. She stood clear on the opposite side of the lounge, a group of people dancing around her as she looked at me. The expression she wore appeared to be annoyed; like I had caught her doing something embarrassing. However. what she was doing wasn’t embarrassing. She was having the time of her life, high as a kite and drunk off her mind as she danced the night away. She was adorable. Even through the haziness and distance, I could see how attractive she was. I had no intentions of wanting a girl in my life, especially after Eliza and Violet.

And then she was coming towards me. She had different plans for me, even if she didn’t know that. I was briefly confused, wondering if some part of my deep subconscious was imagining her coming over to me, because I did want that. But then she was in front of me, her hands already on me, and her body already close to mine. My personal space became our personal space with a girl I hadn’t even shared 1 word with.

She smiled as she brought her arms up and rested her elbows on my shoulders. My hands hovered over her hips as she started swaying again to the music. I had become so involved with this random girl, that I momentarily forgot about the live band. I forgot about the whole reason why I was in this stupid bar to begin with.

The girl was having a blast dancing on me and against me. She turned around so we were facing in the same direction. Her hips ground into me, and I wish there was a way to hide the growing arousal I was having. And then she spun around and looked up at me. What she said next caught me off guard.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, her eyes meeting mine. I looked down at her, my mouth opening and closing a few times as I tried to find the right words to say.

That was the first thing she said to me? I thought as I stared at her. She smiled at me, a twinkle in her eyes the longer she stared back at me. She’d only been dancing with me for a few minutes, not longer than 10, and she already wanted to kiss me? Could a kiss lead to something more?

“You want me to kiss you!?” I shouted back. She grabbed my wrists and forced my hands to hold her waist, it was the first time that I had touched her. I don’t know why I was so afraid of touching her before. She wasn’t some sort of glass doll. She wasn’t going to break if I held her. And she obviously wanted me to touch her.

“Would I be asking if I didn’t?” she shouted back, a smile growing across her lips the longer she stared at me. It was like she was playing a game, and she knew she was going to win it. “I want you to kiss me!” She stopped moving and dancing and looked at me, like I was suddenly the only thing she wanted to focus on. The band, her friends, the strangers around us wasn’t something she worried about. They simply ceased to exist in her mind and mine. “But, only if you want to kiss me,” she then said a little bit quieter. I stared at her, realizing she was being serious.

Maybe I did want a girl in my life. It was only a few years since my girlfriend, and a girl I loved, died. Surely that was enough time to move on. This girl was different too. She wanted me to kiss her, but only if I wanted to. She wasn’t forcing me to do anything I didn’t want to do. So, did I want to kiss her?

I was cautious as I removed my hands from her waist, bringing them to hold her face. My thumbs brushed over her cheekbones as her eyes met mine once again. There was definitely a certain beauty to this girl, but I couldn’t even begin to find the right words to describe her. She knew that too.

It was a brief moment and it held a lot of hesitation. But even though the moment was brief, time seemingly slowed, but it didn’t stop. Her lips were soft, but still mildly chapped. It was obvious that she was one of the several people who was indulging in the joints that were being passed around as I could taste the marijuana on her mouth. Her body moved closer to mine as she deepened the kiss. My back pressed against the wall as she clung to me. I hope she didn’t notice the sudden issue I had growing in my pants.

Once she took control, the hesitation slipped away. And any moment I would need to catch my breath, maybe get a drink of water or something to help me get back to earth.

When the moment unfortunately ended, she took a step back and looked up at me. The little bit of lipstick she wore was smudged around her lips, and there was a certain daze in her eyes.

Just like that, she was back to dancing like she wasn’t just making out with a stranger. She went back to dancing and grinding on me as if nothing happened. It was a good thing I didn’t mind. However, she definitely noticed the issue I had growing, and she was doing a great job pretending that she hadn’t.

She stood close to me, her body felt like a magnet to mine. Like nothing could pull us apart, even if they tried. Part of me had to be cautious about her though. What if something happened? What if she somehow knew that I had $68,000 in my account, or I killed half a dozen people? What if she didn’t actually like me?

The heat of the lounge was starting to get to me, and the girl. I could feel the dewiness growing across my forehead and back. It was bad but not as bad as summers in Louisiana. The sweat dripped down my back and I knew I’d have to add my clothes to the pile of dirty laundry when I got home.

I could see her lips moving, but I couldn't hear what she had said. Did I even want to know what she said? She could be asking me if I wanted to leave, and to be honest, I kind of did want to get out. Maybe the flashing lights and haziness were starting to get to me. Or was it the pot finally hitting?

“We should take this back to my place,” she shouted a little louder over the music. I almost didn’t hear her the second time and I’m kind of glad I didn’t miss it.

That's what she said right to my face. I thought as I stared at her. She was… crazy.

“I want you bad,” she added, a cheeky smirk growing over her lips as she stared at me.

Although I was enjoying the band and would feel bad about leaving before their set was over, I really wanted to be alone with this girl. I no longer cared about the band that I didn’t know the name of, nor would I ever hear of them again, once I realized what she had just said. She didn’t just want me…

“I hope you feel the same way!” She quickly added when I didn’t reply after her proposition. My eyes quickly snapped back to her face just as the lounge went dark. I swallowed roughly and shook my head.

“I want you too!” I shouted, even though I still didn’t know her name. A smile grew across her lips as she looked at me, and then she was gone. She was snaking through the crowd, expecting me to follow behind her. And so I did. I didn’t want to lose her, or this chance. I could never meet a girl like her again, and it’d be all over.

Outside felt like a new life in a strange way, like I lost a part of myself in the lounge with the girl and the weed. The fall air was cool, nipping at my skin and burning in my lungs with each breath, and it only made me feel mildly higher. And when the girl grabbed my hand, I was momentarily caught off guard as she pulled me down the street. It was a good thing I walked instead of drove.

The girl walked a step faster than me, and there was a bit of energy with every step she took. She only looked back when she realized that I was a little bit slower than her. Hopefully, she didn’t think I was old. I was only 30… Barely 30 at that. But thankfully she stayed silent and only waited for me instead of saying anything.

Our walk was quiet, maybe it was what we both needed before our night. I mean who knew what our night would include. Sex? Just talking? Eating? Her deliberately taking me to her house and killing me? Nah, I don’t think she’d kill me. She’s a hippie, peaceful. I don’t think murder is exactly in her world. Thank god!

I didn’t even realize we had made it to her apartment complex. I suppose I was so deep in thought of what she could do to me… I just let time pass quickly. Or she just lived close to the bar that I simply just didn’t pay attention.

“And this, dear friend, is my home,” she said proudly. I looked at her instead of around her apartment. All I knew is that it was small and probably very expensive. But I could tell she loved it, I mean it is her home. She probably worked hard to keep it the way she wanted and bills up to date.

“It’s nice… Small,” I spoke, mostly to myself. She laughed as she turned to face me again.

“Well, it’s just me, Silly,” she chuckled lightly as she looked around the apartment. “Bedroom! This a-way!” she exclaimed, grabbing my hand. I stumbled, nearly falling to the floor as she pulled me towards her bedroom. I laughed once she shoved me towards the bed. She stood at her dresser for a moment before turning to look at me.

“Cozy,” I said with a smile. She smiled back and nodded.

“Look’it what I got,” she whispered as she approached me. I stayed still in my place on the bed as she held up her hand. In between her fingers, she held a small joint. On her lips, she wore a slick smile and in her other hand she held a lit lighter. “D’ya smoke?” she asked as she brought the joint to my lips.

“Uh, I-Yeah, yeah I do,” my words stumbled out of my mouth as she lifted the lighter to the joint. I held the delicate joint with two fingers as I took a long drag. She sat on the bed beside me and smiled before plucking the object from my fingers.

“I always keep one lying around. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I have several lying around,” she laughed as she placed the joint between her lips. I was mesmerized as I watched her take a long drag and blow the smoke from between her lips. “Good thing I live in Colorado. Pot shops’re errywhere,” she mumbled as she looked down at the joint.

“I just got whatever I could where I used to live,” I said as I took the object from her. She laughed and nodded. “It wasn’t exactly legal where I used to live.”

“Ooo, do I have a bit of a bad boy in my bedroom?” she cooed as she leaned closer to me. I laughed as I handed the joint back to her. She looked at me, lifting my hand to her lips to place the join between her lips. Our eyes met, causing me to freeze. My hand stayed suspended in front of her face.

“Y-You have no idea,” I muttered as I pulled my hand away from her. She smirked and removed the joint from her lips, leaning closer to me. Then she blew the smoke in my face, causing me to cough and look away from her. “Hey!” I shouted as I glanced at her.

She laughed, forcing me to look back at her with a smile. Her laughter sounded sweet, like honey. I wanted to hear that laughter forever. And suddenly I did want a new girl in my life. But I wanted this girl. Not just some random girl. I shouldn’t get attached to every new girl I meet. It was one of my weaknesses, falling in love. It’s a shame that’s a weakness, isn’t it? Most people love falling in love. But it’s a weakness for me...

“Do I want to know?” she asked as looked down. I copied her gaze, trying to figure out what exactly she was looking at. But she was looking at my leg and then the bedding. One of her hands was sitting on the bed, her fingers parted slightly and her pinkie tapping the blanket.

“No, no you don’t want to know. It’s a long story,” I mumbled as I reached out for her hand. She laughed once my hand touched hers, causing me to look up at her.

“I like anonymity anyway,” she shrugged as she looked down at my hand on hers. Which would explain why we haven’t exchanged names or anything. I simply just know where she lives.

“I do too,” I lied. If I was telling the truth, I would have wanted to know more about this girl. What was her name? Where was she from? Has she always lived in Denver? What did she like doing for fun? I wanted to know more about her. But maybe it was for the best that we just remained strangers. She probably had a life other than drinking, drugs, and one-night stands.

She laughed again, but instead of with me, it was more at me. It seemed as if she knew I was lying, like she read my mind and just knew that I wanted to know more about her. I knew it’d probably be safer to not know her in the ways I wanted to know her.

Silence fell over us, and I was worried that it was the bad kind of silence. I wasn’t sure if it was because of what I said. Of course, I did lie to her. Maybe she was hurt about my dishonesty. I should apologize.

“Sor-”

“Anyway,” she announced to the room, cutting me off, as she lifted the joint to her lips and she stood up. I was expecting her to kick me out, so when she came and stood in front of me, I was surprised. The joint hung from the corner of her lips and her eyes had a shine. I wondered what she was thinking and if I even wanted to know.

But then the next thing she did caught me off guard. She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me back on the bed. I stayed still as she straddled my waist. Maybe she wasn’t hurt by my lie...

“We goin’ to have sex, right?” she asked. I stared at her before slowly nodding. A smile grew on her lips, like she liked the idea of what could happen during our sexual interactions. Did she think I was going to be the best lay ever?

“I-I mean if that’s what you want. We did come to your place… Not mine.” I looked up at her with a smile. She sighed, resting one hand on the center of my chest while the other still held the joint. I watched her lift the joint to her lips and hum. “But if you don’t want to have sex, that’s-That’s okay too. We can just sit and… Talk.” I shrugged. The girl laughed at me again before shaking her head.

“No! No! I mean, sure I love talkin’ with you…”

“We’ve barely held a conversation.”

“And?”

“Okay, fine, valid point.”

“Anyway, what was I sayin’?” she asked as she brought the joint to her lips. I watched as she took a long drag, trying to remember what she was previously talking about. “Oh!” She shouted, coughing out the smoke and nearing falling off me. I laughed as I rested my hands on her hips to keep her steady. “I haven’t had sex in like 3 weeks, and I’m really freakin’ horny.”

“Way to sugar coat it,” I chuckled as she placed a hand on one of my wrists.

“What?! I’m serious! We can talk after,” she shrugged again. I stayed quiet and watched her. She held the joint out for me to take. “Go on, we’ve already shared it. I don’t have cooties or anything,” she muttered.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you,” I chuckled as I pulled the object from her fingers. “Although, I’m in the same boat as you.”

“Ya horny?” she said through a laugh. I rolled my eyes before shoving her lightly. “Oh don’t lie! I know you are! I can feel your boner pressin’ against my legs!” she accused as she pressed her hand harder to my chest. I groaned, grabbing her wrist.

“I haven’t had sex in like 2 months. Will you move your hand! Fuck!” I shouted as she pressed a little bit harder. She smiled before pulling the joint from me and placing it between her lips.

“2 months? That’s a long fuckin’ time for you men,” she sighed, breathing out the smoke. I was only mildly offended by her statement. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” She brought the drug back to her lips. Not even a moment passed and she took another drag. She held the smoke as she lowered towards me and I had a feeling I knew what she was doing. I’d done it plenty of times with Liza. So I let her.

The girl above me gently pressed her lips to mine, my mouth falling open slightly to let open her mouth. The smoke fell from her and I breathed it in, taking in a deep breath to ensure the smoke made it to my lungs. Once she was sure the smoke was no longer in her mouth, or in mine, she closed the tiny bit of space between us.

She hummed as she shifted her weight down to my hips, causing a groan to come from me. A mixture of lust and annoyance took over as she pressed her lips across my jaw. I swallowed roughly as her hand slipped under my shirt and her fingers moved across my stomach.

“Quit the teasing,” I muttered as she moved away from me. She looked down at me, a smirk on her lips as started to undo my belt. My breath hitched in my throat once she finally got my belt buckle done and her hand in my boxers. The tips of her fingers were a bit chilly as they brushed against my length. But that didn’t stop my hips from jerking up into her hand.

“How’s that for teasing,” she mumbled before pressing a quick kiss to my lips. Another groan fell from me as her fingers wrapped around me. The sounds I was holding back grew difficult to keep down as she began moving her hand just right, adding a little bit of extra pressure when she thought was needed.

“D-Don’t stop,” I groaned and pressed my head into the bed behind me. A soft laugh came from her, causing me to look at her. Her eyes were glued to my face, watching every little twitch my face made. It was clear she enjoyed my pleasure and would eventually want more.

“2 months is a long time isn’t it,” she murmured against my lips. I hummed and weakly nodded. “Tell me how it feels,” she cooed as she brought her other hand to hold my face. Her thumb stroked across my cheekbone. I love how delicate her touches were, both on my face and around my cock.

“Fuck!” I shouted as my eyes screwed shut. “S-So good,” I groaned as I tried to look back at her. For a moment, I tried to open my eyes to look at her, but I failed when her movements hastened and caused me to shout and press my head harder into the bed.

“I’ll make you feel even better if ya’ want,” she mumbled as she looked down at me. Her eyes were like fire, enticing, drawing me in the longer I stared at them. I was so… lost in them.

“Y-Yes,” I got out in a breath. She smiled at me before sitting up. I wanted to protest as she removed her hand, but I waited and watched. She stayed quiet as she removed her shirt, tossing it to the floor. My breath hitched in my throat once again as my eyes scanned her bare chest.

“Likin’ what ya seein’?” She smiled as she stepped off the bed for a moment. I nodded, again keeping my eyes on her as she removed her pants. “Your turn,” she whispered as she stood beside the bed totally naked. My eyes widened when I realized what she had said.

I quickly sat up to pull off my shirt and toss it to the pile of clothing. I glanced at her, hoping she was still remotely interested in me. And thank God, she was still watching me as I stripped down to be naked. I watched her as she stood in front of me, her eyes scanning my body and a smirk growing across her lips.

Before I knew it, she stepped back up to me, her hands going to hold the back of my head. Her fingers knotting up and getting tangled in my already messy hair.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, her eyes staying glued to my face. I glanced between her eyes and lips for a moment before pressing my lips to her. What started off as a gentle and passionate kiss, evolved into something more. It turned into gasping for breath and fighting for dominance, which I was glad to give her. My hands carefully moved up her sides, her skin pillowy soft. A small gasp came from her once one of my hands met her breasts.

The girl took the lead, guiding me back to the bed. The back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, causing me to sit back down. The girl hummed, holding her hands on my face. Her fingers carefully traced my jawbone. I hated that she was still standing instead of sitting with me or on me.

She carefully pulled away from me, her eyes looking at my face. There was a certain shine as she looked at me, like she saw a wonder that I’d never see. And then she pushed back on the bed again before straddling my legs. Then she was looking down at me, a smile on her lips as she carefully wrapped her fingers around my length. A shaky breath fell from my lips as her eyes met mine.

“Ready,” she murmured as she moved her hand up and down at few times. I swallowed roughly before nodding lightly. My hands went to her hips, helping her lower onto my length. A groan came from me as my head fell back, just as a loud moan came from her. “Fuck,” she cried out once she was fully settled on me. My hands quickly held her hips, my fingers digging into her skin slightly. Her hands pressed into my chest to hold herself up right.

Once we were both adjusted to each other, she carefully started rolling her hips. I struggled to keep my eyes open, but I really wanted to watch her and everything about her. Every time she moved her hips right, a soft whimper or moan would come from her, and her face would twist up just right. I could feel her body reacting with everything she was doing, and that made it impossible for me to stay quiet.

“Fuck!” I shouted as I looked up at her. Her breasts bounced every time she moved up and it grew harder to focus on anything. The girl on top of me fell forward slightly, catching herself so she was hovering just over my face. I carefully bucked my hips up into her, forcing a louder moan to come from her. A soft smile grew on my lips as she looked at me.

“Do it again,” she whispered as her eyes met mine. I swallowed roughly and nodded before rolling my hips into her. She buried her face into my shoulder, muffling any sound that came from her. One of my hands rested on her shoulder while the other drifted up her chest.

The room grew quiet, with the exception of sounds that came from us. Our moans and skin hitting skin resonated off the walls. And I wished I knew her name so I could call it out as I finished in her. With a shout she finished moments after me, her body collapsing on top of mine. I laughed and shook my head.

“Best lay ever?” she asked, finally lifting her head after a moment. I looked up at her and nodded.

“Wish it could’ve lasted longer,” I laughed again as our eyes met for a moment. She smiled and looked away before rolling to rest on the bed. “I’m never waiting that long again.”

“Can I get you anything?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a person ask me if I needed anything after sex,” I nervously laughed as she sat up.

“Well, if you want to go to sleep, go for it. I’m gonna take a quick shower.”

“Are you sure?”

“Unless you want to join me,” she said with a sly smile. I stared at her for a moment, watching as she stood out of the bed. I quickly threw the blanket off my body and followed after towards the bathroom. “That’s what I thought.”

{***}{***}{***}

I woke up well before the girl. She was sleeping peacefully, not caring that a guy she doesn’t know was in bed beside her. Something tells me she did that often. Maybe she didn’t have to do it often if I stuck around… If… If she wanted…

I didn’t realize I was staring at her till her eyes opened and met mine. A smile quickly grew across her lips when she realized I was watching her sleep. It was an old habit I should probably break.

“Ya know, it’s kinda weird to stare at people while they’re sleepin’. Especially if it’s someone you don’t even know,” she teased as she rolled onto her back. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I know,” I mumbled and looked away from her. She laughed, causing me to look back at her.

“Good mornin’, by the way,” she said as she pushed the blanket off her body. I stared at her again, just watching as she grabbed her phone. I still felt the same way I felt about her last night. I wanted all the mornings and nights with her. In fact, I wanted forever with her… But I still didn’t know her name and she didn’t know mine. Hell, if all I ever knew about this girl was her name, I’d be okay with that.

“I’m Chip,” I whispered as she sat up in bed. She laughed, turning to look at me. Her eyes met mine and a playful smile grew on her lips.

“That’s cool,” she said and stood up. I watched as she stretched her arms above her head. She stayed quiet as she grabbed my shirt from the floor and put it on. I stared at her, feeling a little bit of annoyance settle in my chest. A forced laugh came from me as I looked at her.

“Aren’t you going to tell me your name?” I stated, flabbergasted with her response. She laughed lightly, causing me to scowl.

“You’re a little dumb, aren’t ya?” she said with a sly smirk. I stared at her as she approached me. I sat up in her bed, the blanket pooling around and sitting on my lap. My arms stretched behind me, with my hands planted firmly in the mattress to keep me upright. I smiled as she stood right in front of me. She lifted a hand and gently held my face. I liked this girl a lot more than Liza… She was very… gentle. “What happened to anonymity?” she teased as she gently tapped my face. She meant no harm.

“I just,” I paused and looked away from her. I wasn’t embarrassed. Well, maybe I was a little bit. It was my own fault that I got attached to a girl I met less than 12 hours ago. She just had to come up to me at that bar and be captivating. “I want to know you. Even if this is all we ever have, let me know you, please,” I begged as I looked back at her. As her hand fell from my face, I felt compelled to grasp it and hold it. So that’s what I did.

I looked back at her face, noting that she was looking back at me. She had a certain softness in her eyes and on her face. I wondered what she was thinking as her eyes scanned my face. It was probably a mistake begging her like that.

“I haven’t really told anyone my name… like… ever,” she nervously laughed. This time it was her turn to look away from me. I smiled softly as I lifted a hand to hold her face. She looked back at me, a nervous smile on her lips as she looked at me.

“You can trust me. It’s okay,” I whispered, my hand sliding down her face to hold her hand like she had previously done. “At least just for this moment, you can trust me…”

“It’s Y/N. My name is Y/N,” she whispered. I smiled and nodded.

“It’s nice meeting you, Y/N.”

“It’s nice meeting you too, Chip,” she said quietly. A small smile grew across her lips as our eyes met again. “And… I think I’d like it if I could trust you forever… If that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, I think that’d be okay,” I chuckled lightly. She looked back at me before quickly and shyly pecking my lips.

{***}{***}{***}

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