#hands free cartwheel

[navalha-kw]

Hands free cartwheel from a more difficult pose, it's the first time I got it right today, I didn't even know I could do that!!!! I'm so proud of myself!!!!!

Also flex below the cut hah

Ik the quality of the second one is shit idk why my phone does that though

[screampied]

can u pleasee do jjk mens fav positions ? or have u already done that

‘ CARTWHEEL ON THE D!CK ☆ ! ’

starring ꒱ geto, gojo, shiu, hiromi, choso, sukuna, toji ?!

@WARNINGS. fem! reader, praise, dirty talk, mentions of breeding, full nelson, missionary, (rev) + cowgirl, prone bone, size kinks, overstim, tummy bulge, face riding, impact play, shotgunning, squirting, till the bed breaks 18+

TOJI ✰ DOGGYSTYLE

“down, girl.”

with the pitch of his tone— that was how easy it was for him to have you arched over, bent over his wooden desk. your pussy was still sopping from earlier, needing a moment to get over your most recent teeth-shattering orgasm. toji prefers missionary too but he mainly loves doggystyle just so he could peer a few peeks at your ass. so cute, he smears his swollen tip against your saturated entrance before groaning. sloshes of cries die out from your folds as he’s ogling at how you’re so eager to swallow him up. leisurely, his fat, throbbing tip makes its way into you and he yanks the back of your tank top. “tojiiii, ‘s not gonna fit again,” you gasp, a broad free hand of his grabs a good chunk of your ass before spanking it. you moan from the sting, the pulse it gifts between your legs couldn’t have been any more embarrassing. “so f-fuckin’ big.”

“say that everytime ‘n ya still take it like a good slut,” he growls, feeling a hot sensation burn near the tips of his ears. you’re so feverish inside, he bites his lip before shoving you further against the desk. one single thrust and your life flashes before your eyes. his cock metaphorically splits the inside of your cunt open, having your lips pry apart and you hear that sinister snicker of his from behind you. “ugh. gotta be careful with you though. with a pussy this wet, might fall in love, heh.”

toji’s speed was always simply relentless—your chest would continuously thwack against the furniture, bump after bump occurring. it’s so loud, his dick pivots and reaches so deep, it rummages through every single orifice and you repeat your whines for him again and again.

“f-fuuuck, toji,” you’d babble out, the same words spewing out your lips on a constant never-ending loop like a mantra. full balls of his occasionally tap against you. with your legs parted, you’re all sprawled open for him. toji knew the layout of your pussy— he had to. with a sharp piston of his hips, his thrusts start to become more vigorous. you could barely match let alone keep up with his pace.

with doggystyle, toji was simply animalistic,

one of his favorite things to do was to wrap his thick fingers around your throat, putting his face up close to yours. “awww, babygirl. ‘s too deep? want me to go slower for you, baby? i can go slow for the pretty girl.”

he’s teasing you—pitching his voice in that faux caring tone, he drags his tongue against your neck and you whine, whimpering out a, “f-faster, fuck me faster, ‘toj.”

“well excuse me. then shut up ‘n take this dick,” and his words punctuate through every part of his dialogue. rough emphasis on his sentences—you gasp, feeling the crown of his cock prof against your g-spot. a scratch through your brain surges and you were already stupid. “take it like it’s yours,” he gruffs, his voice lowering a bit. your gummy walls squeeze against him tightly and it makes him suck his teeth. so soft, fleshy mounds of your ass gets grabbed by the rough hands of toji. throughout each spank he gives you, it rings in your ears like wedding bells. it only encourages you to fuck back against him quicker, making haste. “yeah, fuck me back. take this dick like ya own it.”

you’re hitting back and forth against him, feeling the way toji steadily pries open your pussy with the fat, plump head of his dick. he grunts, pushing your head back down into the sheeny polished desk until it’s smushed against the plethora of scattered papers. “t- toji, right there, right there please.”

“i know the fuck where,” he snarls, feeling his thin nostrils flare— it makes him a bit vexed with how easily your cunt takes him. swallowing him up, he can’t help but stare at how well you’re taking his mean backshots from behind. a big hand of his is still yanking onto the very back fabrics of your tank top before he quite literally tears it into two. “oop. my bad,” he snickers, hearing a cute gasp come out of you. he’s still balls deep before you whine.

“toji, my shirt !”

“yeah, what about it.”

you frown, he’s still deep into churning your guts before you speak with each moan butchering the delivery of your voice. “what do you mean what about it, that was a gift!”

“girl, chillax. i’ll get ya a new one.”

he doesn’t.

GOJO ✰ PRONE BONE.

“shh, you don’t gotta talk when you’re bent over for me, angel,” he’d hush you, and he brings a thumb near your puckering hole to daub the remnants of his sticky, glutinous cum back into you, preventing it from spilling back out again.

you whine, feeling every deep thrust he presents you. he’d just gotten done with filling you up to the brim—yet he doesn’t stop, he’s hungry for more. a hand goes over your mouth, a lustrous sheet of your own slobber paints the palm of his hand in response and he hums. gojo favors prone bone because he likes the closeness of your body against his.

it’s like doggystyle but better,

with your sundress lazily pulled up, he’s got better access and your tummy continually caves in. gojo’s so lengthy, you were still surprised he’d even manage to fit. it was a tight fit but he managed, plugging up your sweetened aperture. warm breathy pants fan against your skin and you whine, his hefty base repeatedly trouncing against your cunt. he was so up close to you, his weight pressing into you so deep that you’re at a loss of words. “s—satoru,” you whimper, feeling his tip stimulate against your most tender spots. each breath you had became more shaky, you were already pumped full of ropy, viscid amounts of his cum from before. your words were a bit muffled but he could still make out your adorable mewls. “so f-full.”

“well yeah. wouldn’t want ya to be empty,” he fake frowns, giving your ass an abrupt spank.

you bite back a moan by sucking your teeth, feeling his shaft reach even deeper angles. he’s got your pussy opening over and over, you’re drooling by this point, being met with slow yet deep hits. it’s primal for a few seconds once he pulls out - only to pull back in, then out again. you start to babble, hating whenever he did that.

gojo was a menace, he wanted to make you beg for more—you feel a fervor wash over you before your maw dangles open. the moment he pulls his dick out, he stares in awe at the thick volumes of cum exuding out of your flooded entrance. “oh, look at thaaaaat,” he sings lowly, staring at the mess painted between your thighs. he’s got the smuggest grin, watching such satiny ropes dribble down your slit. “my my, she’s just so pretty! look at how full she gets too, fuckin’ sloppy.”

“f-finish fucking me, ‘toru,” you pant in heavy breaths, already missing the fullness his dick supplied.

still, you’re over here arched over like some slut. a few cold whiffs of air wafts against your skin and you moan. you hear him sneer out a, ‘awww,’ before he brings his leaky tip back toward your swollen folds. it was so messy, unkempt and shimmering with his seed. gojo grows quiet, smearing his fat reddened tip against your pussy to hear the wet sloshes it creates. “pleaseeee, finish f-fuckin’ me.”

“say pretty please,” he coos, purposely sinking just the fattened tip inside before wresting it back out. he does it over and over, imagining your cute little pout displayed on your face from frustration.

you whine out a sweet, “p-pretty please?”

“pretty please what?” he whispers, strumming a thumb against your throbbing clit. he was edging you, your whines—despite them falling onto deaf ears, you whine again. gojo simpers, trailing a hand down your sensitive spine. “c’monnn. i have no idea what you’re saying please for, angel. you could be saying ‘pretty please can i finish?’ or ‘pretty please can i—”

“pretty please finish f-fucking m-” you grumble, although it sounds more like a desperate moan. even your words backfired on you, he found it so cute how you tried to maintain a rough exterior with your voice but end up failing miserably. you wanted him to finish so bad that you start to swiftly grind against him with your ass still raised up. he loves hearing you like that, so whiny and needy for more—yet once you were about to whine out another needy plea, you hear a sudden snap.

instantaneously, your initial reaction was to flinch and as you peek up—you spot the the wooden headboard snapping in half, the box spring shortly following to collapse. gojo’s still buried balls deep and he doesn’t even realize. only then does he start drilling his fat cock into you at a much quicker pace and you gasp, bawling the sheets into your hand. “s-satoru, fuck fuuuck.”

“oh damn the bed broke,” he sighs, barely acknowledging your moans—you’re so close to your release, feeling the sharp stabbing twist of his hips and he makes you fuck right back into him again and again. with a hand sneaking its way to tug at your hair, he leans up close to your ear before purring low. “hm. that sucks,” and as his hefty cock jackhammers into your loose cunt for the nth time today, he cheeses. “but uh, you’ll buy me- i mean us a new one right? riiiight?”

GETO ✰ REVERSE COWGIRL.

he loves whenever you ride him in reverse—your ass just throwing back against him, it drives him crazy.

with strong, ripped arms wrapped around your waist, a breathy pant leaves his lips and he‘s panting, his mind's racing and racing as he’s awaiting for your finish to peacefully come.

geto groans, you’re taking in every inch of his fat cock, you grow dumb quickly and your brain starts to spiral within seconds. “f-fuck, more. throw that ass back against me harder, wanna feel you.”

geto’s smooth words couldn’t have been any more seductive against your ear. big hands of his drag towards your tummy, his touch sending you shivers constantly before you moan. you’re jerking back against him with your mouth pried open, dilated irises glancing at your pathetic reflection of the mirror that stood in front of you both. “s-suguuu,” you moan, leaning back until your back presses against his bare chest. his warmth makes the butterflies in your tummy whir around at such a speed,

everything about your body was just enticing.

the way you just grip around him drove him wild. steadily holding his dick hostage with your saturated, gummy walls — it drives geto to the first street of erotic insanity. he’s haphazardly buried balls deep, the jaggy smacks that go up and down all due to your sweet hips makes him go mad. lengthy musses of black strands gets caught in his face and he gnaws on his bottom lip. a mucilaginous white ring that coats around his full base sticks against your skin the more your movements rises its tempo.

he’s panting right with you, hot puffy breaths of air leaving each lips, he wraps a hand around your throat before tenderly skimming his thumb down your passageway. making you almost twist your head to stare at him, he whispers, “easy. don’t cum on me yet, gorgeous. can ya wait jus’ a little to be messy for me?”

you frown a bit, pretty spit-glossed lips pursing together into a sweet pout before you whine once he reaches a pivotal certain spot. sage-colored boxers of his was lazily pulled down near his perfectly sculpted pelvic bone—even that was unintentionally sexy, all for a good fuck.

“but— but i can’ttt,” you whimper, feeling the familiar juddering sensation mash all into you.

“wait for me,” he whispers, a hand rubbing against your tummy. you pause your stuttering hips, leaning back into his touch. geto attacks the entirety of your neck with sugared kisses. he’s so tender, you gasp once he feels against the outline of his bulge. “mhm. you feel me here, don’t you pretty? ‘m so deep in you, fuck.”

your pussy’s voluntarily tightening before easing up and you let off soft mewl. “suguru, don’t stop,” and your plea was so sweet. he holds your hips firmly in place before pecking a honeyed kiss near your nape. with how lewd the angle was, you made sure your knees were planted forward as you slouched all the way back. he stuffed your walls so full despite how you brought your eager hips to a saddened halt. his girth wears you thin, you moan once he then brings two hands to squeeze against your tits. so handsy, a finger of his swipes against your perked nipple and you whine. “wanna finish riding you, sugu please.”

“my love, you’re going to. don’t be such a baby,” and that’s only once he turns you around—you inhale a single breath, meeting his pretty face and he pulls you into a deep kiss. geto’s kisses always tasted to candied, so honeyed with nothing but love and affection.

“oh, but i love you,” he says between kisses, leaving your face with multiple targets. he watches your expression turn shy, even leaning in to kiss the soft bridge of your nose. “mwah,” he concludes in a weary breath, holding onto your hips again. you hover over his tip and he grunts, knowing you wanted to ride him again. “always know how to- make me fall more ‘n more in love with you. messy girl,” and a dimple pokes against his cheek once he lies back. “my good messy girl.”

SHIU ✰ COWGIRL.

“ah ah, let me finish my cigarette first,” shiu would hum in a soft low tone, watching you hover over his exposed tip.

he was shirtless—dark cerulean blue boxers pulled all the way down by you and a lit cig sticks out from the left part of his mouth. he shoots you a sly smile, watching the pout on your lips grow as you didn’t wanna wait for him. you needed him carnally, he flashes you a similar coy grin before wrapping an arm around you. “fine. you never listen. i spoil ya too bad, sweets.”

“shiu, want more,” you’d whisper, and he groans once he feels you align himself against your needy hole. you felt the head of his cock scrape against your entrance—a few spurts of pre-cum coat against your folds so slickly. a hitched breath gets caught in his throat before he leans back, manspread. “wanna smoke with you.”

“hm,” he hums in a more form of a question. he’s got quite the length to him. he grunts, feeling the squelches your cunt makes in retaliation. the entire scenery of it all was so crude, he’s amused. with that cute expression of yours, he wants to buy you anything in the world. shiu rubs a hand down your back, easing you to take him fully before you moan at the stretch. “you wanna smoke too, darlin’? ‘s that what y’er tellin’ me?”

“y-yes,” you whimper in a cute plea, rocking your hips once he’s all the way in. he fit perfectly—nice and snug like a key fits a lock.

shiu had such dangerous girth to him too, your mouth desperately opens as you feel every inch. you even feel a slight upward curve he had, something as small as that made you throb—even the vein that runs down the center of his dick, you felt the twitch inside of you. he raises a brow, hazy eyes focusing on your every move. your moves were always so slow it was simply hypnotic. leaning up close, you press a wet kiss near the corner of his mouth. “kiss me.”

“now you’re just gettin’ greedy, baby,” he purrs, inhaling a single puff of hot smoke again. you watch with dilated hearty eyed pupils, and he cups your chin. “very well, open that mouth f’me.”

glossy lips of yours part, he pulls you in for a sultry wet kiss but before he does that, he blows the smoke that was in his mouth right into yours. you whine, bottom lip quivering as it pours right in so easily. the taste was smoky, despite it being literal air, you could still taste it.

shiu’s got half-lidded eyes staring at you, a smirk curling on his lips before he finally gives you that kiss you direly craved. it was deep, you’re still slowly hurtling your hips before he brings two hands to fondle with your neglected breasts. you mewl into his mouth, tasting the lingering flavor of smoke and a dash of mint. his tongue curls against yours, flicking his cigarette away onto the ash tray before pulling you closer. he tastes so intoxicating, a hand squeezes your ass firmly before he groans—you being jittery against his hips has his head spinning.

“s-shit,” shiu phews, globules of sweat racing down the sides of his face. with an almost flustered, out of breath look, he speaks in a soft tone. “you .. you want more, don’t ya sweets? guess y’er not finished with me after all, huh?”

“lie back, shiu,” you breathe in short breaths, softly pressing the clammy palms of your hands onto his bare chest. bristles of curled chest hair prick against your skin before he leans further back, slyly smiling at your sudden dominance. he watches as you pick up his thin cig, sticking it between your own teeth as your hips roll against him in mirroring unison.

“yes ma’am,” he smiles, a hand gripping onto your ass before giving it another spank. “do whatever ya want to me, sweets. ‘m all yours.”

SUKUNA ✰ FULL NELSON.

with full nelson—more than anything, sukuna likes to leave his favorite girl feeling stretched.

so stretched to where you can feel him reach the very deep pits of your cunt. he leaves you with ropes of his cum oozing out of you, he can’t help it — especially with a size he has. a thick shaft with staggering inches, every time he pumps another load into you, you’re drooling for more.

“oh, you’re so weak today,” he huffs out in a single breath, watching your lifeless body just dangle against his lap.

your legs were held above your head and within minutes, pretty eyes of yours were on the verge of rolling way back toward depths of your skull to see only splotches of pure black. you’re a whiny mess, barely able to synchronize with his rigorous pace. his front forearms has your legs in place, another is strumming the calloused tips of his fingers against your jittery hips. he’s so deep that you can feel the bulge of his dick extend through your tummy. a hand of his grabs your chin, pulling down on your bottom lip. “my, i’ve got such a such a sloppy girl,” he points out, brushing a thumb against your lips that was glistening with sweet spit. “with an even sloppier pussy.” and a hand of his reaches down to spank against your folds. you whine, feeling your entire body heat up from something as simple from his notorious touch.

“su— sukunaaaa,” you’d whine, basically being treated like a rag doll. a perfect way to capture your physical essence. just being thrown around, he punctures everywhere inside of your goopy walls, making his cock get known between your heat. your moans only grow louder until he shoves two fingers into your mouth. fluttering lashes lower before you happily suck on his fingers, swirling your tongue against his digits and he cackles. “mphmmm.”

“good girl, suck on them. use that little mouth for somethin’ more important,” and with each bounce of your hips, your brows furrow in pleasure. a jumbled of nerves that rest inside your stomach continues to build up—you know that particular feeling approaching and it was pure bliss. a brief twinge of a sting resides near your entrance as he hits against a spot that leaves your eyes widening. he found your secluded g-spot. a hand of yours squeezes onto the curses’s thigh and he hums in amusement. “oh, i found that little spot didn’t i, pretty?” and his pace quickens ever so slightly, hefty dick slamming into you time and time again. “this— pathetic spot . . riiiiight fuckin’ here?”

his breath was hot, all up against the soft lobe of your ear. with his deep voice alone, you’d cream all over his cock without any sorts of shame. jocularly, sukuna seeps his fangs into your neck, a low guffaw following from the back of his throat. you sucked on his fingers until you gag as response. you then pout as he pulls them out, stringy webs of saliva following his two digits.

“i-i’m gonna cu—” and your words get interrupted by the goading prod of his cock thrashing against that same spot. your mouth grows ajar and a sweet raw moan exits from your lips. you’re so at disbelief that you end up gushing all on his lap yet he doesn’t even notice you squirted until you look down.

“hmph,” sukuna scoffs, one of his arms reaching down between your legs. he smears his stubby thumb against your entrance, feeling how doused it was with your slick arousal. taking you out of the flexing minacious position, he turns you to face him now. prodding a thumb between your now swollen folds, he delves a finger inside before pulling it out, only to pop the same finger into his mouth. you watch, tremulous breaths leaving your mouth and he smugly smiles, taking pride in your embarrassed state.

“how sweet,” and as he laps up the mess on his fingers on his own tongue, he grabs your chin again, pulling you into a kiss. you whine, returning the gesture almost immediately. you’re needy still, grinding against the king’s lap—his dick that was laid against him flat, so thick and even more full. he snickers between the kisses, holding you close and you taste yourself on his mouth. after a while, he departs away before grumbling. “off. you made a mess on me, woman,” and he crosses his arms, a pout on his lips. “don’t just sit there. clean it off with your tongue, i’ll wait.”

HIGURUMA ✰ FACE RIDING

“a-ah,” he lets off a soft sigh, bringing a few kisses towards your inner thighs. you bring up you want to ride his nose and after that moment, it easily becomes his favorite position. he’s gentle, making sure to attack near the very sweet crevices with his lips. with an amused, jocular raise of a brow, he runs a thumb down your sopping wet slit. “aw, you wanna ride it, dontcha? you’ve been starin’ at my nose all day, sugar.”

with a twitch of your lips, you shift your weight that’s barely hovering over his mouth. “yes,” and hiromi’s got nothing more than tender smile— he knew what you wanted, ride his face but most importantly, ride his nose. “i just— i don’t wanna suffocate you with my thighs though, ‘romi. want you to be able to breathe.”

he ambushes your folds with a multitude of kisses before a sly grin forms against his pink sheeny lips. “you won’t do such a thing,” he reassures you, and you whine once he creates a single licking stripe near your entrance. “there there, just lay it on me, sweetheart,” and his voice couldn’t have been any more soothing— it’s alluring, each syllable that drags out of his mouth has you pulsing continuously. dark irises stare into you before he blows softly against your cunt. “give it to me, sit on my face ‘n enjoy the ride. i got ya.”

higuruma’s all laid back comfortably against the bed—he’s ready to feast, the moment you finally sink your quavering weight down onto him, his tongue makes a quick greeting. you bite your lip, the cold texture residing on his tongue makes you squirm a bit. “f-fuuuck, hiromi,” you whine, peering your eyes down and his hooded lids were already growing low and heavy. two rough hands of his grasp tightly against your ass, occasionally brushing his thumbs against your warm skin. his movements were slow but precise—he makes sure to allow his tongue to rummage all throughout your pussy. just a single taste and he’s already craving for more.

you’re addictive,

as you’re still trying to flutter your hips over his mouth but he only pulls you further down. you moan, feeling the slickness of your cunt rub against his nose. it slides against the bumpy bridge of it and he groans. with rough pants, he breaks away every few seconds to give you a praise or two, “thaaaat’s it, ride it jus’ like that, sugar.”

he had to multitask from breathing through his mouth and nose—you had him going feral, his tongue knew no bounds. it swirls all through your entrance before he starts to suck against the pulsating nub of your clit. that particular spot does something to your brain. higuruma studies your moments—every jolt your thighs does he watches, how sensitive, how needy you were. all from a few licks, the feeling of his nose prodding against your cunt was a soft gnarled texture. it tickles a bit at first before you’re left with moaning repeatedly. “hngh, so good, ‘romi. don’t stop p-please.”

he shoots you a sneer, a thumb of his snaking towards your clit to play with it also. the nerves you felt in every part of your clit makes you stupid. perspiring hands crawl into his hair, getting a good grip of his strands being lightly tugging on it. “m-mphm,” he likes that. whenever you’d give his hair just the slightest pull, it drives him crazy. you resume to grind your hips into his mouth, slowly. your rhythm despite how it wasn’t as fast as he initially wanted has him hard. higuruma feels the strain in his black work slacks the more your sweet whimpers reverberate across the entire room. the walls were quite thinx yet he could care less. if anything, the only thing that mattered between was your preciously candied pussy. his favorite treat—a dish he’d continue to ask for seconds.

strands of his hair tangle within your fingers, the vigorous buckling of your hips barely have hi time to process. he’s so sloppy, the slight curve of his tongue explores all inside the entrance of your saturated entrance and a whine dies out your throat. “m-mh, more ‘romi. your tongue’s so good,” and your voice remains to shake—you were sensitive, not before long the entire middle part of his face was covered with a sheet of your arousal. so soaked—you couldn’t help but drench him a bit, his stubble becomes glistening in your heat and he moans. you taste sweet, with low eyes he makes eye contact with you for a moment and the butterflies that reside inside your tummy makes you pulse. he feels the pulse in his mouth, stimulating every part with the tip of his tongue. he lays it flat, allowing it to ferret everywhere before he reaches there.

that sweetened g-spot—the moment his tongue shows itself towards your most precious slick orifice, he leaves it a few sweet kisses. mwah after mwah, long black lashes close as he shows your spot the utmost signs of affection. after all, he wanted to make sure he tasted all of you.

CHOSO ✰ MISSIONARY.

“don’t hide, please,” choso whispers, rutting between you. two big hands of his strokes your cheek, making sure you return his beatific gaze. dark gentle pools of eyes intake your alluring beauty before he moans into your neck. “you’re so w-warm. i love you, love makin’ you feel good.”

“i love you too,” you breathe, moaning quite a bit yourself. your voice was sweet, laced with some kind of addictive sound that makes his ears twitch whenever you speak. choso loves missionary because of how intimate it is. skin to skin, body to body—he loves the hot warmth your own body provides him every time. he’s way more vocal than you, he can’t help but suck against your skin as he’s stuffing you full of guiltless inches. “fuck,” you’d wheeze, rubbing the back of your ankle down his back. you feel him shiver at that, his face turns flustered before he reaches to hold your hand. in bed, choso was always a needy baby. he desperately wanted your touch, without it he felt like he’d die. perhaps he was a bit of a drama queen whenever it came to affection, but he was your drama queen. “choso, don’t stop your moans, baby.”

he grows quiet once you notice. the main reason he went to suck against your tender neck was to stop his whimpering whines.

he was always so embarrassed about them—so insecure.

he was forever so sensitive, the way you clamp down on him makes his breath nearly get caught in his throat. “but-” and you shyly smile, squeezing his hand tighter as his hips quicken. he’s about to finish early—you were quite familiar with his timid body language. it always gave him away. you pull him in for a quick chaste kiss, crimson lips of his mashing against yours and he pouts. once you pull away, he wants more. choso leans for a kiss and you kiss back, kiss after kiss. he feels the tip of his cock reach all sorts of mew depths within your walls. he’s clouded, feeling a rushing wave of crazed nirvana over take him sweetly. “i’m too noisy.”

“i like when you’re noisy,” you reassure him, and you visibly watch him melt into your hands. he’s so cute—you’ve got his heart throbbing, you’re so tender and patient with him that he’s falling more and more in love. choso’s tempo slows down a bit and he feels a concise spasm in the undersides of his thighs. he moans at your tenderized compliment, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

he’s still holding onto your hand, stubby fingertips sliding against yours. his touch—a perfect way to describe it was that it was hot, parching. you made him feel hot in every way and he never wanted the feeling to stop. “you can be a little louder, ‘cho. ‘s just you ‘n me.”

“you s-sure?” he whines, mending your cunt with a new shape from his jagged thrusts. he was so big, you had to constantly gnaw on your lip to conceal your own indecent noises. with a low voice, he still sounds as sweet as a kitten—his darkened brows twitch, awaiting for your answer whilst he prepares to gift your pussy with another precious gift of cum.

you have a soft smile. “i’m sure, baby,” and with a smeck, you kiss the pale temple of his cheek. choso’s heart was racing miles a minute. the moment he ends up finishing, he doesn’t hide his moans.

this time, he ends up giving you a deep kiss while his orgasm mercilessly pulls out of him. it leaves him breathless, tumefy lips of his gets swollen from each contact your own lips makes with his. he was always weak for your kisses, he’d go crazy without one.

“good boy,” you whisper, feeling his seed trickle all inside of you. hot sticky ropes, your legs snake around his slim waist, forevermore pulling him in. “let’s stay like this forever.”

“we- we will,” he mewls out, a gasp of exhaustion snatching out of him, he’s just on top of you, resting his head against your chest — still inside of you, plugging you in fully. choso’s voice was a bit raspy, strands of his hair tickle against your skin before he kisses your breasts. “i’ll never leave you. we’ll be together f-forever, princess.”

[lovifie]

Smut | 838 words | Masterlist

Cw: mentions of alcohol, blowjob, Simon likes red lipstick.

Simon, and his civilian girlfriend that he was so afraid to introduce to his teammates.

He knows the men are great men, and would (and he has) give his life to protect them. But he also knows that Johnny and Gaz with one too many drinks turn into a constant dick joke, enough to drive anyone away. 

Still, tired of hearing the constant yapping from both sides to meet; surprisingly, it was Price the one who asked the most about “When are you going to introduce us to your missus, son?”, he finally agreed. 

He tells you again and again that it's just a couple of drinks at a pub near the base, nothing fancy, nothing special. 

You still knock the breath out of his lungs when you stand in the living room of your flat, twirling around for him. “What you think?” You say, his eyes instantly drawn to your red lips. 

He looks you up and down, walking closer with a look you know very well, and he rests his hands on your hips, leaning closer. “Do we need to go? We can have fun here, dove.”

You look at him, surprised and offended. “Simon! Of course, we do! It's literally your boss!” You remind him. 

He groans, bending to hide his face on your neck, breathing your perfume in before standing back straight, holding your hand in his. “A’ight…”

Simon is overflown with pride when he walks with you hanging from his arm to the table where his team is. The pub is filled with military men, you can feel every single pair of eyes on you, but the massive man who calls you “lovie” and asks for back scratches is next to you, so not even discomfort can get to you. 

The three men sitting down do a really good try to look at you up and down without getting caught, keyword, try. 

Simon introduces you to Johnny, Price and Gaz, guiding you to sit next to the last and him on the other side, shielding you from everyone else. 

Simon leans back, heart beaming with pride when he sees how easy it is for you to steal everyone's attention, the three men looking at you with adoration. 

It is easy to fall into a comfortable conversation, drinks passing by just as easily. His arm behind your back and his hand resting on your hip, his thumb caressing your skin over the thin material of the dress. 

His eyes still locked into your pretty red lips, constantly moving as you talk to them, your pretty smile appearing again and again on your pretty face. 

It's not too late that Price says to call it a night, talking about having to work the next day. He would never admit that he couldn't take it anymore with the way you would constantly look at Simon with hunger in your eyes. 

And Price is nothing if not observant, because the moment Simon and you step inside your flat, you are pushing Simon into his armchair. Kneeling before him as you undo his belt. 

“What are you doing, darling?” He asks, looking at you amused but still surprised with you taking the initiative. 

“Cartwheels, Simon.” You say, finally undoing his pants to free his shaft. “What does it look like I'm doing?”

He chuckles, the laugh turning into a groan when you give a careful kitty lick to his tip, blood rushing south. 

He can't peel his eyes away from your lips, even when he struggles to keep his eyes open. “I bet I can reach up to here.” You say, placing your fingertip at the base of his growing boner. 

He pets your head, smiling to himself. “Whatever you say, dove.” He says, aware of the jaw ache his girthy dick is. But the look of determination on your face is enough to keep him from saying anything. 

And it is not much longer, that you are bobbing your head up and down, easily taking him down your throat. He has his head thrown back, unable to hold it up anymore as he mumbles nonsense, his hand still resting on your head. He has his eyes closed hard, trying to keep himself from coming so fast at the feel of your throat constricting his length. A futile attempt when you run your nails over his wide hips, making him buck them against your mouth, finally spilling deep into your mouth. 

You finally pull back, licking your lips, satisfied with your attack. And with a smile on your face, you point to his softening dick, the imprint of your lipstick down at the base. “I told you I could.”

And when he looks down, his shaft reddish with the stain of your lipstick, but the clear mark down at the base has his groaning, the sight alone almost enough to get him going again. 

Simon was afraid to introduce you to his teammates, but if the dates end up like today… he can't wait to meet them again.

Alternative Ending

[2hightocare]

INFATUATED!

“In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman.” — mini series ❦︎

Synopsis: The feeling of finding a person who makes your tummy do cartwheels everyday, no matter what the situation is.

Pairings: nonidol!jungkook x fem!reader

Warnings: super cute duper fluff, jk being the epitome of every girls dream man. Argument, oc crying, Jungkook wasting money on oc, banter, cussing, flirting. Js super cute cliché shit…

a/n: they’re my babies… they’re so ‘tear in my heart’ coded but after this I might be inactive. I have a paper due in three weeks 10 pages long so…. Plus in my free time I’m working on a series that I will drop the teaser and aesthetic maybe later or tmr🤍🤍🤍 enjoy!! Kithes.

Falling in love with Jungkook was so easy that it scared you. He did everything right, and whenever there was something wrong, he would do anything in his power to make it right. You thought it was too good to be true, and he would just disappear into angel dust if you blinked too fast.

“How do you feel?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face, kissing your forehead in the process. “Warm.” You talk about the fever you have. The covers that were wrapped tightly around you are shredded from you. “Hey!” You pout, shaking from how cold you feel even though the air is off and it’s not cold. “You’re not going to get better, baby.” He pouts back at you, holding the covers tightly on his chest as you try to fight back for it.

“I'm freezing,” you whine, your eyelids fluttering shut as his palm touches your face.

“You’re burning, baby,” he lets you know while sighing.

You had gotten sick yesterday, which had started with a sore throat. You had thought when you would have woken up today it would’ve been gone; spoiler: it got worse.

Jungkook makes his way to his kitchen, opening up the gray cabinet in front of him. He pulls out the tray filled with medicine his mom gave him whenever he moved out around four years ago. He pops open the pill container, taking two small white round pills out before grabbing a water bottle and making his way to you, who’s curled up on his couch.

Jungkook feels like shit whenever he can’t do anything to make you feel better. It didn’t matter what it was; he would do anything in his power to make you feel better. Seeing you sick, your face red from how hot you are, your eyes closed, and curled up from how cold you felt had him thinking that if he could take away your sickness and be sick instead, Jungkook would choose that option in an instant.

He hands you the pills and the water bottle and watches you take them one by one. He remembers when you gawked at him when he took 4 pills at once and learned that you have a fear of the pill going down the wrong tube.

He also remembers that you prefer pills and injections instead of just medicine syrup. Which baffled him, to say the least; how could someone prefer an injection instead of just strawberry-flavored syrup? He laughed at you, which you just shrugged because it was the truth; you preferred to get poked by a needle than just drinking something.

“That’s actually crazy.” Jungkook throws his head backwards as a laugh rips out of his chest. “It’s nasty. I don’t care what flavor it is. I would literally throw it up.” You scrunch your nose, remembering the taste of the medicines your parents literally shoved down your throat so you could get better.

“Don’t get me started on how anything medicine strawberry flavored gives me PTSD till this day.” You shiver from the thought, which has your boyfriend laughing at you.

“I can’t breathe,” you say, your voice scratchy from your sore throat as you breathe from your mouth. “I should’ve enjoyed breathing when I could,” you joke, watching your boyfriend's eyes twinkle. They had a small glimmer to them, making you wonder how that could possibly happen and why you haven't seen it before with anyone else.

Jungkook had no clue how he ended up here… with a girl he met in a chemistry class that accidentally dropped sulfuric acid all over the floor alongside the beaker smashing into tiny pieces. He watched how your eyes widened as a small piece of your hair dropped beautifully in front of your face out of the low ponytail. You had tied it with a blue latex glove as a hair tie since you didn’t have one after no one in class had one to let you borrow.

That was two years ago; now here he was taking care of you as you struggled to breathe from your congested nose.

“Can I get my blanket back?” You pout at him, which he only shook his head with a chuckle.

….

“Get whatever you want,” Jungkook gave your ass a little tap as you entered the makeup store, your eyes widening from excitement. “Don’t say stuff like that,” you give him a look, which has him tilting your face up with his hand.

“Why, baby?” He chuckles, pecking your pouted lips.

“Because it makes me feel things, duh,” you whisper into his lips. He smiles into your mouth. His lip piercing sends cold shocks through your body that has you playfully shoving him away, remembering where you guys are.

“Get whatever you want, and then we can go to the bookstore,” Jungkook picks up the black and white striped little Sephora bag before pointing in front of you to walk.

You giggled as you started looking for the things that have been sitting in your phone cart for a while now. Jungkook follows behind you, stopping whenever you stop to look at the shelves for something before you drop the product in the basket in your boyfriend's hand.

“That’s really cute,” Jungkook mentions the lipstick tester you have in your hand. “You should get it,” he says, tilting his head at you, watching you open the lid being met with a reddish-dark color.

“Don’t you think it’s too dark?” You look up at your smiling boyfriend.

“What?” You giggle as you stare back at him. “You look beautiful,” he says casually, reaching for your beanie and pulling it down a bit more, fixing it. “You literally want me to die right now,” you joke. “Baby!” Jungkook laughs at the tone of voice you used.

“You can’t keep saying things like that without expecting me to literally melt away,” you lean your body onto him while he wraps his strong hands around your much smaller frame as you look up to him.

“I just say whatever is in my mind at the moment, princess,” he explains, giving your waist a small squeeze, making you squirm as the feeling made you ticklish. “Ah!” You laugh as his fingers dig into your rib cage, tickling you.

You push him away as he tries to continue to tickle your tummy. “Stop!” You laugh, trying to get away as far as you can from him.

Jungkook stops when he sees two girls around your guy's age pass beside you both with judging eyes. “Someone’s mad...” Jungkook whispers into your head as you just shake your head with a laugh.

“Let’s leave, I got everything,” you giggle, intertwining your fingers with him, making your way to the line.

When you guys finally get to the line, you are met with a pretty blonde girl, her dimples carved into her skin when she smiles up at you both. “Hi, is that all?” The girl said, you take notice of her name tag.

“Yes, that's all, thank you,” you smile back. “Find everything you wanted?” Genesis asks, as she starts scanning the products. “Yeah, thanks,” you say, playing with the strings of your hoodie as you see the price rise with each scan.

“Card or cash?” Genesis says, as she points to the credit card reader.

“Card,” Jungkook says before you could reply. He pulls out his black card from the back of the phone case, before scanning it through the white card reader without looking at the price. The machine makes a small sound, “here you go, have a wonderful day!” The girl says ripping the receipt before putting it into the white and black bag, handing it to you.

“Thank you, baby,” you say as you walk out the door of the store, Jungkook smiles at you before shrugging. “The least I could do, princess,” he gives your hand three small squeezes, which feels like he’s squeezing your heart as well. “It was expensive as fuck,” you pout at him. “How much?” He asks, “a thousand.” You cringe, scrunching your nose up at realizing the astonishing price. “That’s it?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow before reaching to the passenger side of his car.

“What! You’re crazy,” you say, giving him a slight swat. You watch as the side of his lips quirk up, making you mirror his actions.

“I love you,” you pout, as he leans into his car. “And I love you so much more,” he says, pulling you into him from your waist.

You tipped toe to reach for his lips, his lips mold with yours perfectly as you both were pieces of a puzzle. “How do you want the kiss?” He asks, giving your waist a squeeze. “What is this, a drive-thru? I get to ask what type of kiss I want,” you giggle, letting your forehead drop onto his chest which rumbles with a laugh.

“You get to ask whatever you want from me,” Jungkook rubs your back softly on top of your thick hoodie. “Oh shit,” your eyes widened as you saw the small print of your makeup on his black shirt when you raised your head upwards. “What?” He looks down to his shirt where you’re rubbing your fingers on the dirty print.

“I just ruined your shirt, baby, ahh!” You freak, which has Jungkook laughing while trying to reassure you that it’s fine and he’ll just wash it when he gets home.

As much as you guys had moments like this, you guys had your disagreements. They weren’t as bad where they ended in screaming matches or end up not talking for days, you guys usually make up the same day before going to bed. Jungkook loathed going to bed whenever you two fought; he felt compelled to make things right before even considering sleep.

“Why are you making me feel bad?” You say, your voice cracking, which echoes the fractures in Jungkook's heart. “I’m not, baby. It’s just... I can’t do anything about it,” Jungkook tries to reason with you.

“She was literally all over you, and you didn’t stop it,” you feel your eyes start to water before staring down at your converse.

“She’s my mom's best friend's daughter; I can’t just tell her to fuck off, y/n. I backed off. I can’t control what she does,” Jungkook raises his voice, a tear falling down your cheek as he addresses you by your first name, a departure from his usual endearments, which feels like a knife to your chest.

“Okay, then,” you nod, tears starting to cascade down, smudging your makeup in the process.

Jungkook's throat tightens; he feels like he can't breathe, feeling like shit. He watches you wipe your tears, small sniffles escaping your mouth. “I’m going to go,” you sniffle, turning your back to him and reaching for your bag.

“No, don't leave, let’s talk this out,” Jungkook implores, turning you around to face him. He reaches for your cheeks, wiping away the tears that continue to fall down your puffy cheeks. “You’re hurting me,” you say, with a sniffle.

“I know. I’m fucking sorry, baby,” he feels his heart racing, wanting to die for making you feel bad for caring about him.

“Why didn’t you push her away or say something? You made me look fucking stupid, Jungkook,” you cry, recalling the pang of feeling as Kailey flirted with him in front of his family, and he did nothing to stop it, leaving you feeling small and insignificant.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he kisses away your tears, trying to soothe the ache in your heart. “I promise I’ll shove her off whenever I see her, and if I have the chance to avoid her, I will,” he whispers into your cheek with each kiss he leaves on your face.

“Promise?” You whisper, finally meeting his worried eyes.

“Promise, baby,” he whispers back, holding eye contact with your red, puffy eyes.

“I hate making you cry; please forgive me,” Jungkook pulls you into him, hugging you tightly as if afraid you'll slip away. “I forgive you, just don’t do it ever again,” you sniffle into his chest, feeling the throb in your heart melt away.

“I love you,” he says, swaying you both in the middle of his living room.

“I love you,” you sniffle.

….

"But the Maze Runner is so good," you literally whine at your boyfriend, who is in the middle of changing his shirt.

"Yeah, but not as good as Spiderman," he says, poking his head out the shirt hole with a grin.

"Okay, true, but the Maze Runner is just as good; you need to read the book to understand," you mumble, trying to separate a piece of hair from your mouth as you curl another strand with your wand.

"You just have a huge crush on Dylan O’Brian, let’s be honest," your boyfriend chuckles, sending you a look through the mirror, to which you just roll your eyes back at him, acknowledging a) that he was right. b) he was literally right.

“Says the boy who had a crush on Fluttershy when we watched My Little Pony,” you say, giving him a 'don’t try me' look. His jaw falls before giving your hair a tiny soft pull.

"You said you wouldn’t bring it up," he laughs before shaking his head with a chuckle. "Well..." you just shrug.

“Fluttershy reminds me of you,” Jungkook stands behind you, his fingers playing with your freshly curled hair. “Until you act like a brat,” he tugs on your hair, making your head snap backwards, where he leaves a big fat smooch on your lips.

“Okay, princess, let’s go,” he says before unplugging the curling wand wire, grabbing your bag and coat, before holding your hand and leading you outside.

[bilolli]

Just Dance Care AU!

Ok ok so I thought of a story for this Au but it’s nothing really impactful or full of drama and angst like my other au’s, I wanted to leave this au easy and fun to play around, because, let’s say it. Just Dance and drama in the same sentence makes me laugh. 

story and PNG version under the cut!

(I gave up on Y/n design because I couldn't figure out a general look for them. This is you we are talking about! Draw your own JD fit, I'll draw mine soon XD)

Anyway here’s the story so far: 

Year 2029, videogames industry made a huge step forward and classic consoles and devices were substituted by the new and upgraded VR headsets with full body tracking. It’s something like the NerveGear in Sword Art Online without the kill switch. Some games still require you to actually move your body (like fitness games or sports because yeah, they don’t have a purpose otherwise). 

Y/n wanted to buy the newest VR headset but, while searching for the best offer, they found out FazCo entertainment was hosting a giveaway, the prize? One of their prototypes, a VR meant to be released the next year coinciding with the opening of their first mega pizza plex.

(so the plex doesn’t exist right now). You decide to sign up for the giveaway and after a while you receive an email telling you you won the VR headset and that, to claim it, you need to read and sign a series of NDA policies (understandable, it’s a prototype headset that’s not even in commerce). Some clauses are a little bit concerning but nothing you hadn’t read on other electronics booklets, so you decide to sign. After, like, a day, you have the VR in your hands. 

The box let you know with super saturated and colorful writing, that the VR came with a game pre-installed inside. Uh, that’s why they were giving one away, they wanted a free game tester…but you know what, it’s worth it.

You always liked Just Dance games, they make you think about happy memories of your childhood. This pre-installed game called “Five Dances at Freddy’s” is a close copy of your childhood game with original FazCo songs, characters, environments and also some collaborations with other famous artists. It probably will be the cause of a big copyright infringement report.

There are various ways to play it: story mode, Casual dance, Five Dances, and Just Dance Care.

The first one is similar to the casual dance mode but with little cutscenes between a dance and another to tell a tale, Casual dance is how you can play the collab songs, Five Dances is the multiplayer mode and Just Dance Care is a more uhhhh “hard” way to play the game with all the other modes mixed in it. You stare at the description of the last mode smirking and decide to try it first just to see how far you can get before losing (yes you can lose in hard mode in this Just Dance, but you don’t die, you just have to restart from the beginning). Turns out the FazCo wasn’t kidding when they advertised the new headset as a breakthrough in the world of virtual reality headsets, the thing TRANSPORTED you inside the game itself. 

You almost have a heart attack when you can’t find your VR on your head, but before you can try something you are blocked by two tall individuals who you think are the “tutorial” characters. 

Yadda yadda, tutorial, you can pause the game and exit whenever you need just by opening an hidden menu, you find out your tutorial characters are called Sun and Moon and that you are way worse than you remembered at dancing (damn full body tracking, there is no way you are going to do a cartwheel in the middle of a dance, you still don’t know if your body is inside your home and if you’ll physically feel pain if you fall and you don’t want to find out).

You pass an embarrassingly long time trying to win your first dance battle just to discover it was still the tutorial. 

You try to go on with the story but you fail at the first real battle with a bear character named Freddy. 

And guess what? You have to start again from the tutorial! Y/n is gonna spend A LOT of time with Sun and Moon if this goes on.

[haikyu-mp4]

For cartwheels

word count; 1062 – gn!reader, inspired by my desperate dream of doing a cartwheel

Tsukishima Kei was so happy to get home after a long day at the museum where he worked, desperate to spend the evening inside in your company. Unfortunately, he married you, so he could never get the peace he wanted for free.

You were standing awkwardly on the lawn in front of your house when he exited the car. Your husband walked closer slowly as if approaching a dangerous animal. “Why are you out here, brat?” he asked affectionately, but then he saw the tear trickling down from your eye. “What’s wrong?”

With a sniffle, you lift your arm and wipe at the tear before pouting at him, shoulders shaking a little but he wasn’t sure if it was sobs or oncoming laughter because it seemed like a mixture of both. “I so desperately want to do a cartwheel,” you explained, letting another tear fall.

“I’m sorry, what?” he asked, wondering if he heard you right as he straight up stopped and just stared at you.

“I suddenly got this intense urge to do a cartwheel, but I can’t do a cartwheel!”

“Have you tried, are you hurt?” he asked, this time wondering if maybe you had tried already and that was why you were crying.

“I just told you, I can’t do cartwheels. I’m stuck walking around like some lame person.” you insisted, walking around in a circle as if for emphasis. He covered his mouth with his hand, acting as if he was thinking and even putting the other hand on his hip for the act, but really he was just trying not to laugh at you when you were feeling so emotional. He didn’t understand why this made you cry, and he probably never would. There are many times in this marriage where you tested his patience, but he never loved you any less.

After basking in this weird energy for a minute, he put his bag down and started rolling up his sleeves. “Just try it.”

You wrung your hands and swayed your body a bit like a little kid who is about to ask their parent for something. “Will you try with me? I’m scared that the neighbours will see me do it alone and think I’m weird.”

“God forbid they think that,” he mumbled sarcastically, making you lightly slap his chest. He blinked in disbelief, so close to just saying no, but there was something about the way you looked at him like he could save your entire day. “I can call Yamaguchi and ask if he wants to come over for a playdate?” he asked, bratty as ever despite his affection for you.

“I want you! This is what I married you for,” you said, always turning overly dramatic when Tsukki fought against you.

Once again, he deadpanned as he looked at you, silently asking if you were serious. “You married me to do cartwheels together in our garden?”

You grinned innocently and shrugged your shoulders. “Amongst other things.”

His eyes fell closed, pinching between them with his pointer finger and thumb. Tsukishima actually couldn’t believe he was about to agree, except yes he could. He was so smitten with you that there was no doubt in his mind he would eventually agree anyway. “Fine, but you have to make dinner after I break both my arms and legs.”

Completely ignoring his dramatics, you clap your hands excitedly. “You’re the athlete, you have to go first.” His eyes were cursing you, but he still got ready, breathing in and out as his eyes measured the space he had. You giggled and stood at the side, cheering for him like a cheerleader. “Go, Tsukki!”

“It’s Kei to you,” he said, breaking his concentration again because nothing was worth his time more than bickering with you.

“Do the cheerleaders at your games call you that?” you argued with a scrunched nose, reminding him you could be just as stubborn.

“No, but I’m not married to them!” he said, finally reaching the level of exasperated.

You giggle, always happy to hear him say you’re married. “Let’s go, baby, while the sun is up.”

It’s such a bratty line that he considered refusing again, but he finally got ready so that the two of you could get it over with. If you hadn’t been cheering for him, you would have heard him mumble a quick “Lucky I love you” before he finally lifted his arms and tried to do a cartwheel across the grass.

It wasn’t that bad, honestly. He did just fine at first but then forgot to steady himself and one leg just followed the other and the next thing he knew, he was sitting on the ground with his glasses askew. You cheered loudly as Tsukishima straightened up his glasses and huffed. “Was it exhilarating?” you asked, holding out a hand to help him up.

“I’m never doing it again,” he insisted while you pulled him up. He squeezed your hand and gestured with his free hand towards the open space. “Your turn.”

An excited giggle left your mouth as you moved to where he stood previously, but your face fell abruptly when he just watched you silently. “Are you not going to cheer?”

He pursed his lips and lifted a hand like the Statue of Liberty, followed by a weak “Go, go, let’s go!”

That was more than enough to satisfy you, as you put up your hands and skipped for a step or two before tumbling across the lawn. It didn’t last for long, and you weren’t particularly good at it. But your laugh when you landed was enough of a sign to Kei that his mission succeeded. You were happy.

He helped you up and pulled you to his chest. The neighbours were totally watching you. “Was is exhilarating?” he asked you back.

“My butt hurts,” you complained, but it was still mixed with laughter.

He chuckled. It sounded like music to your ears. The soft kind of chuckle that caressed your heart and reminded you he was the one. “Mine too, honey.”

As you started making your way inside, Kei had his arm over your shoulders and yours was stretched across his back while he told you about his day. All you could do was stare up at him in wonder. That’s the man you married. In sickness and in health, for cartwheels and other things.

masterlist

/I got to the part where the reader asks him to join and suddenly realised I had no idea what character I was writing for, so I started imagining every moody haikyuu character doing cartwheels.

[star-girl69]

hi everyone! this is so lazy but pls enjoy 🫶🫶

warnings: swearing and also slight freaky stuff 😣

you: good morning my sweet girlfriend

kk: wtf

kk: why r u not in my bed??

you: babe… i told u i had to leave early this morning bc i had an appt

kk: for what?

you: getting my nails done

kk: u abandoned me to get ur nails done?

you: yes…?

you: i don’t think i appreciate this attitude maybe i’ll just go back to my dorm

kk: please come back to my place.

you: say pretty please with sprinkles on top

kk: y/n

you: ok see u tmrw then

kk: pretty please with sprinkles on top.

you: ofc i will come back to urs 🥰

kk: 🙄

you: attitude????

kk: no ily

you: aww i love u too!

—-

you: can u plz drive me to my friend’s birthday dinner on friday and pick me up

kk: what times

you: drop me off at 6 pick me up at 9

kk: ok no problem

you: thank u ily

you: i would carpool w my friend serena but i don’t trust her in a car

you: she runs red lights a lot lol

kk: ??? plz don’t ever get into a car with her. i will drive u always

you: aww ur so sweet! not wanting me to die 🥰

kk: anything for my passenger princess

—-

you: CAROLINE ROSE HARVEY

kk: im sorry

kk: i’m so sorry

kk: i’ll make it up to you i promise im so sorry

…

laila: what did you do to kk 😭😭

laila: she’s staring at her phone in horror and when i asked her what was wrong she just said y/n before putting her head in her hands

you: i’m letting her sit in fear for a minute

laila: i admire you a lot ❤️

…

you: so i wake up this morning

kk: yes and u looked so pretty when i left

you: thank u

you: anyways and i then go about my day and i’m ready to run out and do my errands i look at myself in the mirror

kk: and u saw how beautiful u r?

you: yes and also i saw a GAINT FUCKING HICKEY ON MY NECK

you: SEVERAL OF THEM ACTUALLY

kk: do u really want me to say sorry for that

you: yes??? i need so much makeup to cover this up. actually i think u should buy new concealer for me

kk: as long as i can do it again

you: no this is so embarrassing

kk: it’s ok you’ll be saying different later

kk: besides u were encouraging me last night

you: ur delusional i’ve never done that

kk: if u say so babe but we both know

you: *link to new concealer*

kk: just bought 2 prepare to use them up

you: no

kk: yessss

you: no

kk: 😉

you: die

kk: ❤️

—-

you: i’m really craving chick fil a

kk: ok

you: i’m REALLY craving chick fil a

kk: u mentioned that

you: bye u don’t care abt me

you: gonna go text my other hoes

kk: u don’t have other hoes

you: im about to

kk: we’ll see

you: PLEASE GET ME CHICK FIL A

you: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

kk: thought u were texting other hoes?

you: i lied ur my only hoe and ilysm

you: plz get me chick fil a

you: i’ll do a cartwheel on it

kk: ???

kk: babe i’ll get u chick fil a

kk: thanks tho? i think

you: YAYYYY

—-

kk: i know ur asleep right now and i know u r very tired and i’m sorry but i forgot my helmet can u pls bring it to me at the rink

you: how did u forget ur helmet

you: like it weighs 10 pounds and it’s huge

kk: mean

kk: and idk i’m stupid plz bring it

you: ugh fine i’m On my way!

you: omw.

you: im not excited

kk: i love u so much u r the light of my life i cannot imagine waking up without ur beautiful face next to me u are brighter than the sun and i love u

you: thank u shakespeare ur so romantic

you: can we go shopping tmrw and u pay i need new pants

kk: u don’t need pants

you: it’s 9am

kk: yes we can go shopping tmrw

you: love u!

kk: ❤️

—-

you: hi

you: are u doing anything tn?? i feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever

kk: i know baby i miss u

kk: i have practice until 8 but u can come over still after? sleepover?

you: yes definitely i’ll be there

kk: i cant wait to see u pretty girl

—-

you: omg this restaurant looks so good we should go

kk: sunday at 6?

you: um yes i’m free

kk: just made a reservation

you: damn 😭 i’m impressed

kk: whatever my girl wants she gets 🤷‍♀️

—-

you: hi baby

…

you: so what position u got her in rn?

you: missionary? cowgirl?

kk: why do i love u

you: blocked

kk: i have no girls in no positions except for u

you: why are u so busy then?

kk: picked up this new hobby called hockey idk if it will go anywhere

kk: been at the gym for an hour about to go hit the rink

you: send workout pics 😜

—-

kk: hiiiiiiiiii

you: hi babe

kk: tone down that attitude plz

you: ?

kk: actually

kk: turn around show me that ass

you: are u drunk rn

kk: maybe

kk: you have an amazing ass do i tell u that enough

kk: i should tell u more

kk: i love ur ass

you: thank u…

you: do u need to be picked up?

kk: no laila is dd

kk: wanted to talk to my pretty girl

you: u sure know how to make a girl blush

kk: only u babe

kk: i like ur boobs too

you: oh my god pls hand the phone to laila

kk: this is laila don’t worry we’re going home rn

you: laila ur a goddess thank u

kk: i try ❤️❤️

—-

[peachsukii]

Operation: Shut Down

『♡』  fem!reader x bakugo ╰➤ ꒰ Senior year of UA | Characters are all 18 ꒱ ♡ katsuki bakugo masterlist ♡ summary: during their senior year of UA, midoriya, bakugo and todoroki return to endeavor's agency for senior internships. while on a supervised patrol, bakugo experiences his first 'failure' as a hero-in-training and takes it extremely hard. reader makes an attempt to care for his fragile state when he returns to the dorms. tags & warnings:  failed mission, ptsd/trauma, mentions of blood/gore/violence, depression & anxiety, mild angst, emotional comfort, semi-fluff, bakugo and midoriya hug!? a/n: similar to the "tidal wave" story, but this one is a bit grittier and heavier subject matter. hopefully this also isn't too OOC for bakugo! i figure at some point during their time at UA, or in the field, they’ll have to go through something similar to this on their own. ꒰ Ao3 version | word count; 2,671 ꒱

Ahh, Saturday mornings - one of your favorite times of the week! There's something refreshing about being free from classes, surrounded by all your friends as you laze around the dorms. Yourself and Bakugo are usually the first two awake, often bumping into each other in the kitchen for breakfast. Midoriya and Kirishima are typically next, followed by a random assortment of the rest of the class. One thing's for certain, though, Kaminari is always the last one awake. Jiro swears it annoys the shit out of her that she needs to have an extra alarm to get him up, but he never fails to make her smile when she does.

Today, the dorms are on the quieter side as most of the class are off at their senior internships for a long weekend. You completed yours a few weeks prior, leaving yourself and Kirishima, Kaminari, Ashido and Yaoyorozu hanging around this weekend. Meandering toward the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal, you run into Midoriya, sitting at the small table - alone.

"Hey! I thought you guys were gone 'til Monday?" you ask, confused as to why he's back early. As you approach the table, you see the somber emotion painted across his face, the usual radiance in his eyes dulled.

"Oh, hey y/n. Yeah, we got back late last night."

There's something unsettling about the way he said "late last night." He still hasn't looked up at you. You place a hand on his shoulder to grab his attention.

"Everything okay?" He jumps a bit at your touch, startling you. He's not typically this jumpy. "You look like you've seen a ghost, Zu."

You can see he swallows nervously, his eyes glued to the table.

"Christ, Izuku! You're scaring me, spit it out already!" you urge, growing impatient with his evasiveness.

Midoriya finally turns to face you, his face not able to hide the fact he didn't sleep last night, the darkness growing under his eyes.

"It's Kacchan...," he starts, stopping for longer than you were comfortable with before continuing quietly. "He's in his room and hasn't come out since last night. He won't talk to me or Shouto."

Your stomach cartwheels with a sour feeling.

"You can't just say that and not give me more background on what the hell you're talking about."

He shifted uncomfortably in the diner chair, placing his head in his hands on the table.

"We were on a supervised patrol with Endeavor after dinner last night. The three of us were responsible for escorting a family across the city when Endeavor received an emergency call, taking Kacchan with him and leaving myself and Shouto responsible for the original task."

Midoriya paused, letting out a soft exhale.

"While on the emergency call, Endeavor ended up getting hurt -," he puts his hands up, waving them as he quickly interrupts himself to say he's fine before putting his head back down. "- due to a fall. Supposedly, the villain they were pursuing took advantage of that as a distraction. Kacchan was able to subdue him..."

Again with the damn pauses.

"...but?" You try not to sound too annoyed, but can't help it. You loved Izuku dearly, but he really needed to learn to get to the damn point.

"...but the civilian he captured wasn't so lucky."

What the hell does that mean?

Something in your gut tells you to sit down for whatever it is he's going to say next. You take the seat next to him, placing a hand on his thigh for reassurance.

"You...don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Zu," your tone shifting from your previous annoyance to concern.

He puts a hand on top of yours and gives it a squeeze. "T-thanks, but it's okay. Maybe you could try to talk with him? I had Kirishima try, too with no luck."

"Okay, sure. Do you wanna tell me what happened, then?"

You're not really sure if you should know, at this point. If Bakugo's locked himself in his room and refuses to speak to anyone? Some serious shit must have happened. He's not one to completely shutdown and isolate himself, let alone from Midoriya and Kirishima.

"The...civilian didn't make it. The villain planted a bomb inside of the civilian as, uh...a backup plan, I guess. It went off as Kacchan was escorting them to the ambulance for evaluation."

Your stomach stirs a second time, afraid to confirm what you think happened. "...so, you're telling me he saw someone...explode?"

He hesitates. "Y-yeah. Endeavor told us he went into shock, which isn't like him at all but completely normal, all things considered. He went non-verbal until we got back last night. He didn't even yell, told us he was going to bed, walked off and slammed the door."

"Fucking hell...do you know if he at least got some sleep on the drive back?"

"Funny enough, yeah. He fell asleep on my shoulder." He smiles faintly, trying to look at the positive in this situation. You can't help but smile, too, imagining Bakugo passed out on him without a care in the world.

Midoriya rubs two fingers against his temple - he's intensely fighting to stay awake. But who could blame him? His best friend just went through something extremely traumatic and he doesn't know the best way to help him.

You rub his back, attempting to calm his visible anxiety.

"Alright, I'll tag in. Please Izuku, go to bed. You need to rest," you assert, knowing that he would keep himself up until he physically couldn't stand if it meant helping a friend - especially Bakugo.

"Yeah. Thank you, y/n," Midoriya says wearily. As he stands, you jump up from your own seat to wrap him in a tight hug. He accepts, sighing into your shoulder as his body deflates into yours.

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."

───

After you walk Midoriya back to his dorm room, you go inside with him for a few minutes to be sure he actually gets into bed. He lazily crawls under the sheets, letting you tuck him in as his eyes are fluttering closed. You pat his head and mutter a 'night Zu' as you tip-toe to the door, carefully shutting it behind you.

Jogging up to the 4th floor, you make your way down the hall to Bakugo's room. You stand outside for a moment before knocking twice.

No response.

You give him a few seconds before knocking again.

Nothing. You don't hear any movement on the other side of the door, either. Maybe he's asleep?

One final try before you give up and resort to calling him.

Thudding footsteps are stomping on the floor from inside his room after the third set of knocks. The sudden sound shocks you as the door flies open, Bakugo's scowling face emerging from behind it, the whites of his eyes faintly pink in color. Has he been crying?

"God dammit, nerd! I fuckin' told you -," He doesn't notice it's you right away as he's shouting in your face. Once the realization sets in, he visibly recoils at his mistake. "...sorry. Thought you were Izuku."

"I could go dye my hair and draw freckles on if you wanna yell at me," you joke.

He doesn't laugh - not even an eyeroll.

Your heart sinks.

Neither of you say anything, standing there awkwardly as the air thickens between the two of you. Bakugo audibly exhales and you can't tell if he's annoyed, angry or...sad.

"Can I come in?" you ask humbly.

He says nothing, retreating back into his room - but, he leaves the door open for you. You take that as an accepted invitation, coming inside and closing the door behind you. He sits on his bed, knees tucked up to his chest as he scoots back to the wall.

Seeing Bakugo like this tugs at your heartstrings, despondent and detached, the opposite of any emotions he'd usually carry. You follow him to the bed and quietly ask permission to sit with him.

"Do you want me to sit with you, Kat?"

He doesn't move, just answers with a muted 'whatever.'

As gentle as you can, you climb onto the bed and shimmy next to him, back against the wall. You'll take this as a win, especially since Midoriya mentioned him not answering anyone else. You're about to say something as you hear a sniffle, confirming your suspicions.

Bakugo was and has been crying.

You reach over to put a hand in his hair in an attempt to comfort him. Instantaneously, he smacks your hand away - hard - and a spark jumps off his palm. Normally, he'd let you touch him without an issue - to an extent, of course, but right now? You understand why he wouldn't want any physical touch.

"Okay, I'll sit here as long as you want," you affirm, retracting your hand and pulling your own knees to your chest. "You don't have to say anything."

With that, the flood gates busted wide open. Bakugo whips his head in your direction, his nose red and eyes swollen, and frantically scrambles on to you. The two of you fall sideways into the pillows at the head of the bed as he wraps his arms around you into an awkward embrace. He buries his face in the curve of your neck, latching onto the back of your shirt with an ironclad grip as he begins to sob.

You have never heard him cry this hard over anything, not even after his fight with Midoriya back in their first year.

You don't wait for Bakugo to say anything before you're cradling him against you, one hand delicately stroking his hair while the other massages light circles on his back.

"I've got you, Katsuki, it's okay," you whisper soothingly while trying your damndest to stop yourself from crying along with him. You wish, more than anything in the world, that you could physically remove the memory from his brain to free him of this trauma.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay as long as you want."

He doesn't respond, only pushes himself deeper into your embrace. You can feel the material of your shirt sticking to your skin at your collarbone from his snot and tears, and you're definitely going to have bruises on your back from his fingers digging into you for support. None of that matters though in the moment, what matters is that he's getting the initial shock out of his system.

You're not too sure how long you both lay there, but with time, you can tell Bakugo's calming down by his sobs mellowing out. His body begins to loosen up, the tension melting from his tightened grip around you. And then you hear it - a low snore.

He'd fallen asleep.

You tilt your head back to get a look at his face. His features have relaxed around his puffy eyes and pink nose. Without thinking, you run a hand through his bangs, exposing his forehead and press a tender kiss to it. He doesn't stir and continues to take deep, sleepy breaths.

───

Bakugo wakes an hour later, dazed and exhausted. When he starts to shift in your arms, you open your eyes. You give him a hearty smile as he releases his hold, rolling onto his back next to you.

"Mornin' sunshine. How're you feeling?"

He snorts as his eyes focus on the ceiling. "Like shit."

He pauses before looking back at you. "But less than before. Thanks. I'm just fuckin' tired."

"You scared me, I've never seen you that upset before," you admit. "You don't have to talk about it now, or ever, just know that I'm here for whatever you need."

"I don't even know what to say about it. Shit sucked, but it's what we signed up for." He's very monotone, but at least he's talking.

You roll over to face him. "I'm sorry you had to see it."

Bakugo sighs. "'S what it is. I'll get over it. Endeavor told me the first one is the hardest, better to get it outta the way before becomin' a pro."

Damn, that made your heart ache.

"Just 'cause we wanna help people doesn't mean we can't also ask the same for ourselves. Heroes need a hero, too."

He lolls his head to the side and stares at you, a gleam in his tired eyes. "...yeah."

The room is silent as the two of you take a break from the rough conversation. If he doesn't want to continue talking, you don't push it. Instead, you offer a distraction.

"I'd love to take you hiking today, if you're up for it," you say with enthusiasm. "I know how much you love that one trail nearby with the overlook of the city."

Bakugo felt his heart flutter at the proposal, confusing the hell out of him, but offered a sense of comfort that he needed. He loved that you remembered something so niche about his interests.

"Maybe tomorrow."

"Sure! You tell me how early you wanna go and I'll get my ass out of bed. Just for you," you tease, jokingly smacking his arm. "We can get lunch on the way back from the hike, too. Wherever you wanna go!"

Between the swirl of emotions from earlier and how sweet you're being to him now, he's overwhelmed with a feeling he can't quite place.

"Y/N, can I ask you something?" he asks abruptly.

Well, that came out of nowhere.

"Always, Kat. What is it?"

He stalls his follow up, seeming to think a little longer on how he wans to phrase his question.

"Why...are you here with me?"

His question baffles you. "Because you're my best friend?"

Best friend, he repeats in his head.

You notice the pondering look in his eyes as he turns to face you, shifting to lay on his side.

"It's because I care deeply about you, Katsuki. Nothing'll ever change that."

"...promise?" His voice is shaky, a nervousness to his tone.

You reach out and touch his cheek, stroking it lovingly with your thumb.

"Is that even a question? Yes, I promise. You're stuck with my ass forever, like it or not. I’ll be cheering for you every step of the way."

He laughs - genuinely.

And then he smiles. Your heart soars into the heavens.

"There's my favorite firecracker!" you boast, squishing his cheek in your hand.

Bakugo huffs at the sudden affection, a dusting of pink on his cheeks and nose.

"Th' fuck?!" he curses, playfully poking your forehead. "I'm not a firecracker!"

“Coulda fooled me, Mr. Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight.”

The two of you play fight, cackling like children as the tension melts from the room.

Even if it’s just for a little while, Bakugo forgot about the agonizing dread from hours ago.

───

Later on in the dorm lobby, you’re sitting on the couch with Bakugo, feet in his lap watching TV as he’s reading a book. Midoriya comes prancing into the room, fresh faced from his nap. His eyes brighten when he sees Bakugo on the couch.

“Hey guys! Kacchan, how are you feeling?” he asks cheerfully, taking a seat on the couch next to him.

Unexpectedly, Bakugo wraps an arm over Midoriya’s shoulder, tugging him into his side.

“Fine, nerd. Thanks.” He lets go, puts a hand on his head and roughly fluffs his curls - just like when they were kids. Midoriya is so taken aback that he doesn’t say anything, he just smiles and relaxes next to him.

“What are we watching?”

You lean sideways to catch a glimpse of the boys together on the couch, co-existing without any negativity. Even after all the shit life throws at them, they still find ways to shove it all away to enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes, they just need a little help getting back to that mentality.

A silent huff escapes you as you lay back into the couch.

These boys are going to be the death of me.

i love these goobers and wanna buy them a lifetime’s worth of ice cream and take them to disney world to make them happy :’)

[three-realms-archive]

The RAD Cheer Squad

(Hi, hi! We’ve got some ideas in the inbox which i’m so so excited to get to - feel free to plop in some more! please read the rules in the pinned post first, tho.)

(for now, tho, have this stupidity.)

“Oh, my goodness…” Lucifer places his head in his hands.

“Oh, my goodness!” Asmo smiles wildly in excitement.

They lean forward in their seats, speaking at the same time… In entirely opposite tones.

The stadium erupts into applause. Demons are screaming, scrambling over each other to get a glimpse of the centre of the Fangol pitch. Ghosts are scurrying to focus their cameras on the scene unfolding there, which is streamed live to the big screen opposite the bleachers.

You wink at one of the cameras, then bat your eyelashes innocently as you giggle; hiding your mouth behind a set of glittery pom-poms. Another round of applause - and even louder cheering. Beel stands a little ways away with his team; who nudge and shove him playfully. They all know you too and the view on the screen changes to them hyping up the crowd and fondly sending you waves and salutes. The Avatar of Gluttony, a Ruler of the Underworld, has the goofiest, widest grin on his face as you cheekily blow him an exaggerated kiss. Another - another - chorus of applause.

You smile, satisfied.

It’s time to let your partner take the spotlight.

To the time of the marching band playing a rhythmic fanfare in the background, you spin, shimmy and sway your hips, showing off to the crowd. Asmo, Levi and Thirteen are waving fans and glowsticks. Satan and Mammon are clapping to the beat. Raphael and Simeon are smiling fondly, as Luke and Solomon make up silly cheerleading chants. You spot them where they’re sitting and flash your biggest smile. Then, just as choreographed, you give a dramatic pose. You wave to the audience. You gather all your strength… You take a deep breath… And you toss your pom-poms to…!

“… Lord Diavolo.” Lucifer and Mephistopheles groan, as the Crown Prince laughs heartily, sporting a cheerleading outfit identical to yours, in both design and size. He seems very happy, at least; even if he’s stiffly moving his hips in a circle and attempting cartwheels and backflips.

… Even if he’s accidentally flung one of his pom-poms into the face of the referee during one said-backflip.

…

… Even if he’s wearing the Devildom’s tightest miniskirt.

But, hey!

Now the crowd’s louder than ever!

(i’ve had this idea forever and initially wrote it with a much deeper backstory, all leading up to this single moment. but then i realised cheerleader!dia was pretty good on its own ahaha. if anyone ever does fanart of this pls pls pls send it my way.)

[rottenpumpkin13]

Everyone does a day where they pretend Sephiroth doesn’t exist. How does it go?

The 'Sephiroth Doesn't Exist' Prank

• Zack thinks Sephiroth doesn't have fun and isn't included in enough silliness, so to combat this he has the idea to get everyone in on what he thinks is his best prank yet: pretending Sephiroth doesn't exist. This will end badly.

*Sephiroth approaches Genesis and Angeal*

Sephiroth: Hello.

Angeal: You know what would be nice, Gen? If we had a third friend.

Genesis: Agreed. We make a good duo, but sometimes it gets lonely.

Sephiroth: I'm standing right here.

Angeal: Do you hear something, Genesis?

Genesis: I don't believe I do.

Sephiroth: Have I don't something to upset you?

Genesis: Actually, I think I hear a cat somewhere.

Sephiroth:

*Lazard walks in*

Sephiroth: Good morning, director.

Lazard: Good morning, Genesis. Good morning, Angeal.

Sephiroth: !?

Lazard: So it's just the two of you here today?

Sephiroth: Are you unable to count?

Angeal: Yeah, Zack was supposed to be here but he's busy with a patrol assignment. Go ahead and brief us on the mission.

Lazard: Of course, since it's a very delicate operation that requires both of our First Class SOLDIERs. Since we only have two.

Sephiroth: .....When did I get demoted....? *opens his email to check*

Genesis: It's a shame there's only two of us. The program could really benefit from a third First Class SOLDIER. It's unfortunate that it's such a difficult position to achieve.

Sephiroth: I was the one who recommended you for First. Without me you wouldn't even be here.

Genesis: Do you gentlemen hear something?

Sephiroth: Your envy and petty jealousy are undesirable character traits that showcase your insecurities, therefore making you unlikeable and arrogant, which people gossip about behind your back. You would know this if you actually turned around for once instead of keeping your nose in the air, as if searching for the scent of success like a starved dog.

Genesis: ......

Sephiroth: Did you hear that?

Genesis: ......

*Sephiroth flicks Genesis' ear*

Genesis, fighting back tears: ......

Lazard: Anyway, I was wondering if either of you wanted room #14, as it will be evacuated shortly.

Sephiroth: But room #14 is my office—wait, I understand exactly what's going on.

Sephiroth: I've perished and the lifestream has failed to take me, making me a ghost and therefore freeing me of all responsibilities I previously had under Shinra's command.

Sephiroth: ......no, it's too good to be true.

*Zack walks in*

Zack: Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late, but I was actually in Professor Hojo's lab.

Angeal: Why??

Zack: Oh, he evaluated my physical condition and combat abilities, and then decided that I'm the perfect specimen and will now obsessively take over my life.

*Sephiroth stands up*

Sephiroth: I'M FREE.

*Sephiroth kicks his chair over, throws the stack if reports on the floor and walks over to the glass door, where he proceeds to shatter it with a forceful kick before cartwheeling away*

Angeal: Well that was a—Genesis stop crying—well that was a bad idea.

Zack: No it wasn't! See how happy he was? This prank totally brightened up his day!

*Genesis, Angeal and Zack are standing around when Tseng rushes up to them*

Tseng: We're in the middle of an emergency. Someone has murdered Professor Hojo and no one can locate Sephiroth. Where is he??

Zack: Oh....yeah, we played a prank on him by ignoring him, and now he thinks he's dead.

Tseng: Do you really expect me to believe Sephiroth would fall for one of your pranks?

*Sephiroth appears holding his bloody sword, wearing comfortable clothes, carrying a pet cat, and dragging a suitcase with a Costa Del Sol travel brochure in hand*

Tseng: Sephiroth?? What is the meaning of this??

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: Which one of you bastards resuscitated me?

[thenightshadowqueen]

SFTH moments that live rent-free in my head (in no particular order)

Xavier (obviously)

Luke laughing on the sidelines

Sam’s smirk in the Evil Make-A-Wish Kid (you know the one)

“But Luke, why do you have to go to the Shoot From the Hip disciplinary meeting? What did you do?” (“I told Sam to shove his finger up my asshole.”)

“Oh, Mr. President!” *cartwheel*

The entirety of the thirsty vampires sketch (but especially Sam because oh my fucking god SAM) (and also the slap from Luke but I feel like maybe that says something about me)

“What a twist!”

The way Sam drops to his knees to ‘give a blowjob’ in that one game of Genre (I know you know the one)

From that same game: “Me, a man, a ruler of the States. You, a creature who came from outer space.”

“Too fucking right, darling”

“I saw it on my firemegram!”

“Oh, I could never; that’s a family trait”

Sam’s moan as he ‘dies’ in BUS (this entire play was so fucking unhinged??)

“WHO’S YOUR DAD?”

Tom and Sam entering the astral plane

“No! No! No! Bad Luke!” (“What?”)

Tom and Luke climbing through the fold-up chair

“I made you a cocktail. This one’s called… be careful.” (This is a classic.)

Bubba and Jeremiah

“I’m clearly perfectly sane”

Derek and Titch

“Just a random guy, open up!”

Andre Beetroot (and Luke as his tutu-wearing companion)

“There’s something I want you to have.” “Okay, bye!”

AJ’s gorgeous singing (“ohhhhhh, Somerset”)

Tom being picky about Sam’s grammar, and Sam picking on Tom’s stagecraft (“It was a two-way door!”)

“What don’t you understand about this?” “Several things.”

“I wish more kids were dying of… NOPE!”

Sam’s “no, fuck off” after someone suggested 9/11 (and Luke doing the hand motion)

AJ asking what a marigold is

Sam having a fucking breakdown at the end of the Lighthouse

Moriarty-Sherlock mental fuck chess

“Let me just close up the clown factory.” “The what?”

When AJ slaps Sam on Luke’s instruction (“That was real.” “That was kind of hot.”)

[frogaroundandfindout]

I wish more people played with the fact Dick was probably the main one to introduce kory to earthern culture since he was both her boyfriend and team leader. It opens soooo many doors for them to be weird little freaks together.

Kory: back on my planet I would play games with my little brother to improve both our hand eye coordination and reflexes.

Dick: oh we do things like that here too. Have you ever played stand-ban?

Kory: what did you do?

Dick, not normal: you have to spend 8 hours without standing upright on your feet. You can use them to land flips and cartwheels if you want to use those to travel but you can’t spend longer than a few seconds on them.

Kory: and this is to improve balance and flexibility?

Dick: And to train for having a broken ankle you can’t put weight on for long.

Kory: hmmm, most of my people can fly so we don’t have games exactly like that. It does remind me of “floor is magma” where we must spend time in the air to practice staying afloat.

Dick: we have that game! It’s called floor is lava. I used to love jumping on Bruce’s shoulders and latching on until he said the game was over. I swear he just did it so I’d hug him tho

Kory: is that common here? Inventing scenarios so that your loved ones make contact?

Dick thinking about all the times bruce asked if he was getting cold and then wrapped him up in his cape without waiting for an answer: absolutely

Wally in the background: what is happening right now???

———

Dick, a Gotham kid who thinks the city is mostly normal for earth: there are three main things you need to know about earth before going out as Kory Anders. One, when we walk down the street ignore everyone giving away free stuff. It’s either mind control, murder, trafficking, or a mix of all three. Two! Never trust anyone with a theme. What do you do if someone wearing a galaxy themed cloak walks up to you?

Kory: drag them into an alleyway and knock out.

Dick: that’s what I call initiative! Now number three. Never ever everrrr drink the water. Unless you want to ingest fear toxin…as team leader I’m deciding you don’t want to do that.

Kory: your planet is very strange.

Dick: thanks babe 💕

Donna: *slowly removes free headphones*

———

Kory: why do you have shark repellent in your pocket? Is it common for your people to encounter these creatures?

Dick, thinking about all the times he and Batman were dropped into the ocean out of airplanes and dangled over shark tanks: yes

Wally: what!?!?

[toulousewayne]

Catching Strays Pt:1 🐈‍⬛💎✨

Red Hood x male!reader who’s a cat burglar with a similar M.O. to Catwoman who’s on a crime spree.

Summary:Your a Cat Burglar who’s dressed similarly to Catwoman. You enjoy the thrill of the chase.

—————

“I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.”

Red Hood stood perched on a rooftop overlooking the Gotham Bay. He sighed and leaned against the wall.

“Someone seems bored.” Oracle’s smug voice filled his ear com. He lowered his head toward the bustling streets below.

“Yeah well the same week the Bat takes a trip out of town, the crime goes along with him.” He grapples several building down the street until he can see a row of prestigious jewelry stores and clothing stores.

“It’s not everyday Batman and Catwoman get to team up to take on a drug lord in Paris. I heard it’s nice this time of year.” She teased.

“Barf.” He jumped down several feet onto a nearby rooftop. “Well if that’s the case I may as well call it a night—“

“Too slow, silent alarm just went off at jewelers at your location. Ruby’s.” Red Hood looked at the store across from him and grappled down to it.

———

A few minutes before 🐈‍⬛✨

A figure leaps and jumps throughout the Gotham City rooftops. The leap to a larger building and quickly ascends it using claws and acrobatic movements to gracefully pull themselves up to the rooftop. Below is Ruby’s Jewelry Store.

“To easy.” His voice purrs. He free falls down fifty stories towards the roof before using a whip to break his descend.

He looks down at the skylight and sees a security guard walk down the hallway. The thief takes his hand cuts a medium sized hole in the glass. Using his whip he lowers himself halfway into the building before removing three small pellets from his belt. He throws them and they release a blue gas the unveils red lasers. He tucks on the whip and lands on his feet a few inches from the first row of lasers.

He flips, sprints,cartwheels through the laser. Until he is in a diamond exhibit. He begins with the small diamonds putting them in a velvet bag. Next, he finds a diamond and gold necklace.

He begins to cut the glass and removes it from its display. He turns down a hallway and sprints down it until he finds himself in front of a sapphire cat statue. He lifts the glass dome over it and picks it up, unknowingly tripping an alarm.

“Shit.” He secures the statue to his belt and takes off. He finds himself in lobby where several security guards are with weapons.

“Freeze thief!” They point their pistols at him. He takes his whip and disarms them.

“Morons, if it were that easy I wouldn’t have been so quick to get out of here. Now who wants to go first?” He cracks another whip and the guards scatter.

“Pussies.” The thief climb up a pillar and onto a walkway. He jumped up to the skyline he entered and climbs up.

“Going somewhere?” A deep voice questions. He turns to see Red Hood several feet away from him.

He smirks,”And looked what the Bat drag in. Was he too busy to get me himself?” Y/n stood up from the window and eyed the man before him.

Jason drew one of his pistols from its holster. “Give me the goods, I won’t break your hands.”

“That’s kinda hot Big Red.” The confused face Jason had under his helmet would have his brothers laughing for days. The thief used this moment of stun to leap off the roof and lasso a gargoyle and use it to make his escape.

Red Hood chased after him and the two leaped and rolled across the rooftops util Y/n landed on a moving train. Red Hood landed not so gracefully onto a car.

“Get back here!” Y/n smirked and jumped off the train. Red Hood mumbled under his breath before jumping and landed onto a rooftop.

“Gonna hand over the jewelry?”

“Gonna give me a kiss for em?” Jason began firing at him, Y/n swiftly and quickly dodged each bullet and back flipped off the roof. Red Hood walked to the ledge to on then be yanked off himself.

Y/n crouched before him as Red Hood used one hand to hold his full body weight up from falling 75 stories to Gotham’s streets.

“You little—“

“I’m Stray.”

Red Hood scoffed, “Well Stray, how about I send you to the pound for bad little thieves.” Stray eyed his hand before grinning down at the man.

“Y’know Big Red I’d love to watch you get flustered tonight but I’m late?”

Y/n stretched and felt his side before looking around till he looked at Red Hood how had the cat statue in his free hand.

“Looking for this?” Stray hissed at him before an alarm on his watch buzzed.

“You can keep it Red, I’ll be back for it.” He cartwheel down the ledge before leaping off it and using his whip to glide from rooftop to rooftop.

——-

“Sounds like you had a thrilling night.” Roy laughed to himself while feeding Lian apples. They were on video chat on Jason’s laptop. Jason tossed his jacket on a nearby bench and grabbed a beer from his fridge.

“It was anything but fun Harper,” he took another sip before sitting it down and watching the screen. Lian was stuffing her face with apples and yet still kept a tight grip on her chocolate milk.

“I think someone wants Uncle Jay’s grilled cheese.” Jason let a smile slip. “Now we both know it you that wants that.”

“I plead the fifth.” Roy replied. Jason stretched and glanced at his gear and cellphone on the table.

“Any idea who he is, or why he’s picking up where Catwoman would normally go?”

Jason took a few short steps and took his cellphone before dialing a number.

“Let’s find out,shall we?”

———

Stray slip throw the window. A choir of meows and soft purrs welcome him home. “Hello,nice of you to welcome me.” A black cat purrs and circles his legs.

“I’m going.” He opens a cabinet and pulls out several cans of tuna and opens them.

“Here you go.” The three cats run and begin to eat from the cans.

“Spoiled brats.” He sighs and places his bag down on a worn out soft. He checks his watch and again and huffs as he crosses the small studio to a dresser and peels off his suit stuffing it in a drawer under his bed. He opens a door and enter the small bathroom, he quickly gets into the shower.

Several moments later he emerges with a towel around his waist and grabs open a drawer from his dress and puts on his clothes.

He puts on eyeliner and tugs on a jacket, he stuffs his keys into his pocket and leaves the apartment through the front door.

———

He rushes inside the club and puts down his bag and jacks behind the bar. The club is packed and the other two girls at the bar are running around take orders, taking payments and cleaning up for the next few customers.

“You’re late again Y/n.” A girl with a dark pixie cut grins pour three shots of fire ball and passing it to a man who hands her a fifty.

He grins, and grabs a rag tossing it onto his shoulder. “Y’know the train is still back up on fifth and Seventh.”

She shrugs and grabs a trap and places a few drinks on it. The other girl with a blonde bun comes back with several empty and half drunk glasses sets it down before grabbing two bottles.

“You sure you weren’t going to see a guy?”

Y/n rolls his eyes and hands two beers to a young man. “Don’t kid yourself Stella, I’m laying low.”

The two women share a look before laughing and going back to work.

“Yeah well just try to let us know that you’re running late, Mr. Cobblepot was looking for you earlier. Something about a meeting up in his office.” Y/n cussed to himself taking a tray and several glasses with a bottle of Whiskey.

He rushed into the office as Black Mask and Penguin held a stare off.

“Sorry for late arrival Mr. Cobblepot, I got caught-“

“Nevermind that Lad, so this nice gentleman and his friends out. There just leaving wasn’t ya?”

Black Mask’s fist are in a tight grip as he gets to his feet. “Yeah, this place is started to smell like a fish market.” He throws a twenty on the tray Y/n’s holding. “Keep the tip kid.”

He leaves with his goons and it’s just Y/n and Penguin. Penguin poor himself a glass of Scotch and sighs.

“Kid, I don’t what took so bloody long, but I’ll let it slide this one time. Now get the fuck out of my office.” He barked while rubbing his temple. Y/n made himself scarce and finished the rest of his shift until early the next morning when the Lounge closed.

———-

“I can’t believe you got your ass handed to you.” Jason reloaded his pistols and walked away from the goons he just beat up from a robbery. He gets on his motorcycle and races down the street.

“Y’know come from the same person who got mind controlled from a plant, I don’t see how you’re in any position to talk.” He turned down a busy street earning several honks from oncoming drivers.

“Low blow little wing, low blow.”

Jason grumbles to himself as he races down the road turning onto a main intersection and flies further into the city.

“Hood, I think I found your cat burglar. Sending the location now.” Oracle’s voice filled his ear for the hundredth time tonight.

“He’s not getting away tonight.” He barreled down the street toward the location on his bike.

“Good luck little wing.” Nightwing sang in his ear before Red Hood switched his com offline. He looks up and stops in the alleyway. He grapples up the building until he finds a window with a cutout on the 54th floor.

He enters quickly and draws his gun. “Here kitty kitty kitty. Here boy?” He scans the room until he finds a door cracked open down the hallway of an office building.

He creeps down the corridor and pushes open the door. It’s an office and at the desk his Stray taking pictures of different files and paperwork.

“I don’t think the owner would take kindly to you snooping.”

Stray’s head shoots up and he grins.” I see you missed me.”

“Unlikely.” He strolls over to him and grabs his wrist prying the camera from his hand.

“What are you doing,give that back?”

“Not till you tell me why you’re here, then I’m dropping your ass off at jail.”

Stray smirked taking his free hand and lightly dragging his claw down Red Hood’s helmet. “You’ve been thinking about my ass?”

Red Hood stuttered,”That’s not—I’m not thinking—“

“Shush.” The two stand still as footsteps and men can be heard from the hallway.

“Find em, I know someone’s here!”

Stray and Red Hood looked at each other before Red Hood dragged him by the hand towards the door.

“If you think about escaping I’ll shoot your knee caps out.”

Stray playful grinned. “Whatever you say.” Red Hood looked around the corner and a group of goons with assault rifles searched the floor. One turned around and spotted him and began firing.

“Your dead rat!” And soon the rest began to fire. Red Hood pulled stray further into the room. There was only one way out and it was being fired out.

“You’re bleeding.” Red Hood glanced down at his arm and turned back toward the door. “Just a flesh wound, we’ve kinda got bigger fish to fry.”

Stray took off his backpack and took out a can of tear gas. “Get ready to run red. He tossed it out the room and the goons shouted before a small explosion rocked the building.

“What kinda tear gas?” Stray took Red Hood’s arm and pulled him out the room. They ran through the office filled with smoke. They pushed open a door and bolted up the stairs.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” Stray pushed open the door to the rooftop before sticking wood under the door.

He began to run with Red Hood not far behind. He looked at the door which was being kicked down.

“Jump.” Red Hood snapped his head toward him. “The fuck are you trying to accomplish?” Not waiting for a response he pulled Red Hood down with him and the two fall several stories until the landed on a moving train.

“And that’s how you get out of that.” Red Hood sat up from falling on his back.

“I’m going to kill you.”

Stray blew him a kiss getting to a crouching position. “You’re very welcome.”

The train came to a halt and Stray jumped off the train car on top of rooftop and Red Hood went after him.

“Hey,stop!” Stray turns to him with his arm crossed.

“What is it now?” Red Hood grabbed him.

“You nearly got us shot up, did you think I wasn’t serious about taking you in?”

Stray grinned,” I wanna see what’s underneath that helmet, I bet I really just get under your skin don’t I?”

“I will shoot you, I don’t care.” He warned.

Stray yawned. “So you want that looked at or you could get an infection?”

Jason was ready to snap him in half. For whatever reason Stray knew how you just irritate him like nothing he had experienced before.

“I have a guy.”

Stray looked hurt, “Damn, I thought I was special.” He began to walk toward the edge of the building. “Come in red I don’t bite. Much.” He whispered the last part.

He jumped and for whatever reason that was yet unknown to him Red Hood followed jumping onto a fire escape. He entered the apartment and turned to see three different cats.

“Are you so kinda Catwoman cultist?” Stray returned from wherever he was with a me medkit.

“Ha ha, funny. Take off the jacket and armor it’s not doing you much favors.”

“I’d have to remove my helmet, I don’t think I want to do that.”

Stray placed his hand on his hips.” Then continue to bleed but you’re not getting it all over my apartment.

Jason looked at his arm and while it did hurt the bleeding hadn’t stopped either.

“Fuck me.” Stray grinned as his removed his helmet and pulled it off. He pouted though when he saw the red mask covering Jason’s face.

“Who knew the big bad Red Hood was a looker.” He took out supplies as Red Hood began to removed his jacket and armor.

“Just hurry up.” He hissed at the pain in his arm. He could see that it was not a flesh wound and was shot in his arm.

Stray peeled off his cowl and goggles and began to clean the wound.

“Don’t get to excited, you’re still not off the hook.” Red Hood hissed when Stray began to clean the wound.

“You don’t trust easily.”

“I don’t trust anyone, what’s your point?”

“Nothing at all Red. Hold still this is gonna hurt.”

“Your enjoying this aren’t you?”

Stray grinned taking his arm and began to remove the bullet. “Red you sure know how to show a fella a good time.”

“Fuck my life.” Red Hood groaned.

[kimetsu-no-yaiba-writings]

hi ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

i want to say that i really like your work and would like to try to make a request with douma, where s/o is very random

for example, they just hang out and then s/o gives out a random strange fact like: "did you know that dolphins can fall in love very much and build relationships the same way as people?" or she can run up, pet him and run away, etc

feel free to ignore it! hope you having a wonderful day, love you

and forgive me for my english, it's quite crooked

Hello \(≧▽≦.)/ Thank you so much for saying that anon, that truly makes me happy to hear, also don't worry, your request has been heard loud and clear! And I love it!

I hope I've done your request justice (^ω^.) and please know that your always welcome back to browse and request something from me again.

Your English is great by the way,so don't worry!

Douma/Doma with an S/O who does random things - [Headcannons]:

There where many things that Douma/Doma found boring, in life and with entertainment, but you weren't boring - you were anything but boring

Each day you did (or said) something that tickled his funny bone

Each day you had a new fact, hobby, skill/talent and object that you had to share with him that genuinely had his brain working overtime at how you knew or did that

Douma/Doma finally found something to look forward too each day and it was you and your randomness

Your randomness was cute - adorable even - and it definitely saved you from scenario's that would have ended up with your death (and a rather pissed off and sad spouse) or at least hurt

Douma/Doma enjoys your random fact of the day - that you randomly drop on him at a random point in the day

When you first started your random fact dropping you'd started with facts about the human body during a tea ceremony

"Did you know that the average tongue is about three inches long" You said simply, taking a sip of your tea before continuing "and that the human body can shed about 40 pounds of skin?" - its safe to say that Douma/Doma was so dumbfounded by those facts he over-poured his tea with a rather star-struck expression

Although he does quite like the cute random facts that you tell him too - "Did you know that trees can make friends and talk to each other? Isn't that sweet"

You also had the habit of coming up to him randomly - at different points in the day - and inspecting his hands and tapping three times on his wrist (directly on where his pulse point would be) before leaving without a word

And bopping his nose

And sometimes knocking gently on his forehead

Also you like tracing shapes through his clothes on his back, arms and legs - making him guess the shapes and words you form with your nails

You also liked stealing his fans to use them for something random and/or weird - he once found you using them to cut fruit...

Once you baked a 10 tier cake and brought it in mid sermon with his followers with plates and water

Food was another thing that you made randomly, you baked and cooked new and weird things and brought in for him to try - as well as his followers....

When he sleeps in, it's always a 60/40 that you'll have done something to his hair - You like to fiddle with and decorate his hair and you have once perfectly styled his hair into a plaited mohawk

You've painted his nails - "Oh paint them pink next time love" He'd whined once into your neck "I want them to match the colour of your love~" + "Oh! Like the colour of my organs too?" followed by a blank stare from Douma/Doma

As you both where about to sleep you turned to him, perfect smile on your face and sleep hazing your eyes and said, "I wanna eat you! Just take a chunk cause your too perfect and beautiful for this world" before promptly falling asleep

He has found you trying to do cartwheels down the hall

You've always got something up your sleeve and it honestly brings Douma/Doma so much joy to live through each day, finding out what you had in store

.....you've made a finger puppet version of him before as well as a doll and you have used both as advisors - "And what do you think Wackus Bonkus?" "Kill him" "Oh! You Naughty Wackus Bonkus!"

[listofwhyyouloveher]

The Outsiders w Stoner!Reader

Summary: The outsiders with you being a stoner Warnings: descriptions of smoking and getting high Author's Note: got a new cart so its about time i appeal to my weed fiends 

PONYBOY CURTIS

Is kind of shocked because he didn’t know tulsa had a dispensary

Thinks being with you while ur high is the funniest thing ever

Not the type of person to get high so he’ll just watch you

Wants to see if you can do tricks with smoke

JOHNNY CADE

Is like Ponyboy and wants to see if you can do tricks

Doesn’t want to smoke weed but will do edibles with you

He gets really quiet and touchy when high 

So expect just silent cuddling

SODAPOP CURTIS

You were the first person he smoked with and he loves it

Will get high before work with you and have you around the DX

Its just you two goofing off and Steve being a third wheel

For some reason he really likes dancing when hes high, like just break out into song and dance whenever there too much silence

STEVE RANDLE

Probably has gotten high before but doesn’t like to smoke it

He likes edibles tho and he’ll make you special brownies

He puts a lottt of weed in tho so it usually ends with you two asleep in the Curtis brother’s home

He likes to eat A LOT when he’s high. No fridge is safe..

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

Let’s be real he probably does get high

I dont see many of the gang being weed SMOKERS tho, i think they’d all prefer edibles

He def makes the weed brownies with Steve and eats like half the batch

He’s doing cartwheels and backflips and literally runs from anyone within a 6 foot radius

Hes crazy

DARRY CURTIS

We know he used to get high in college

He still had a lot of dealer friends so he gets free shit sometimes when he wants it

Is not opposed to getting high, just doesn’t really do it anymore

He’ll get really talkative and ramble when hes high

Usually though he just falls asleep in your lap.

DALLAS WINSTON

I actually think he’s never really gotten high before

Well he probably did when he was in NY but doesn’t really remember it

When he found out you were a stoner he literally comes begging to get high with you

He’s really sweet when he’s high and he likes to pick you up and spin you around

If you mention him while high he’ll actually slap a hand over your mouth because he VIVIDLY remembers what he did.

[ameliiwa]

Gang going on a plane cuz I just had the craziest travel experience ever 💪❤️

- god help us

- let’s ignore the fact that this is so out of character cause how tf are they getting money for the tickets

- but literally nothing is going as planned

- poor Darry who probably organized everything to have a break is not going be able to relax for a single second

- everyone is either overpacking or underpacking

-I wouldn’t be surprised if both Steve and twobit forgot under where or something

- meanwhile Ponyboy is packing his entire house. Would be that one friend that literally has EVERYTHING. “Man I have the worst stomach ache rn” “oh dw bro i gotchu!!”

- they all get stopped at security

- twobit tried taking his favorite switchblade. When tsa took it away he was lowk holding back tears

- dally accidentally had a bullet in his bag. Took security at least an hour to find it

- Johnny gets stopped cause he looked suspicious somehow. Lil bro didn’t do anything wrong 😔🙏

- they also all get SO GRUMPY because they can’t smoke. They didn’t even have nicotine gum because that stuff is lowk expensive asf (and also not invented until the 70s)

- especially Ponyboy he is getting irritated at every single syllable the gang says

- “I’m kinda hungry-“ “SHUT THE ACTUALL FUCK UP STEVE DIE”

- sodapop on the other hand is so happy and excited. They’ve never been out of Tulsa before and he’s doing cartwheels around the airport

- Darry is actually soooo stressed out. He’s trying to find the gate. Arguing with random employees. Screaming at the gang as they fight in the middle of the airport

- when they actually get on the plane, soda can barely sit down for more than 20 minutes. Bro is walking up and down the aisles until the flight attendants tell him to stop. He’s talking to random people around him and somehow made a baby stop crying by making silly faces at them

- Darry sleeps the whole ride. Good for him

- pony is watching movies or reading the whole time. Him and Johnny try to start the same movie at the same time so they can watch it together. He’s also reading to Johnny

- twobit dally and Steve are flirting with flight attendants. Soda too

- dally probably snuck in some cigarettes and went to the bathroom the smoke one, not knowing they had smoke detectors in there. The alarm went off and they did an emergency landing. Bro received the biggest scolding of his life by the whole gang

That’s all I got lmao feel free to add more