#half-assed goals don't succeed

[hms-no-fun]

in your view of things right now, with the political climate so hot coming into the election, and companies doing worse than ever in terms of amassing greed and power and fucking us all over... what do you think has to change to find a way out?

oh boy, what a question. i've got a BA in film studies. i pay my bills by making youtube videos and writing homestuck fanfiction. i am not an authority, i only kind of vaguely know what i'm talking about in any given conversation. but i do think about this question a lot, and i've been wanting an excuse to arrange some of my thoughts on the matter. so, you know, don't take my words here as gospel, or as a coherent platform, or whatever. i'm just a goat with some opinions who hasn't read enough theory but means well.

alright. as a communist my answer is always gonna be "proletarian revolution," but that's an endgoal we're currently nowhere near achieving. the path to getting there is impossible to truly know, because of course revolutions are historically contingent on an organized vanguard being prepared to take control in a moment of national crisis. we don't have a leftist vanguard in this country, haven't done since the FBI and state governments went to war with the Black Panthers. my ideal vision of an effective communist party is one unlike any that currently exists on a large scale in the USA, built by organizing communities to coordinate neighborhood needs, as part of city/county organizations coordinating local needs, as part of state organizations that etc. right now political parties are exclusively focused on electoralism. i want a party that can organize eviction blockades, free community daycare, reading groups, high-capacity cafeterias, and all manner of mutual aid. i want a party that can operate with solidarity, as the Panthers did by supporting the 28 day 504 sit-in that resulted in the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act. an effective vanguard party interfaces directly with the working class and builds its policy platforms based on their needs with no apology, rather than the acceptable liberal half-measures we've grown so accustomed to.

but it's a loooooooong road to get even that far. and you might say such an organization would be offputting, but like. the Panthers won over a lot of moderates over time because they weren't just out on the streets posturing. they took care of people. we only have free school lunch programs at all because of them. this is the thing that drives me nuts about so many leftists today-- you don't win over a moderate or conservative by debating the merit of their ideas. you help improve the material conditions of their day to day life, thanklessly, as you'd do with everyone in that community, because you cannot adopt means testing by another name without selling off an essential part of yourself. slowly, over time, some of those people will be won over. it'll never be everyone, but it doesn't have to be everyone. it doesn't even have to be a majority. you can get a hell of a lot done with even just 30% of people, especially if those people are even mildly-disciplined members of a well-organized party apparatus.

so, okay, that's my sense of the broad strokes. i want a proletarian revolution by way of a militant vanguard party. not saying this is the ONLY way forward, just the one i think would be most likely to succeed under the right circumstances. but again, we're a million miles away from having a communist vanguard in this country. quite frankly, such a thing feels an impossible pipe dream at this exact historic moment. so the question for me then becomes, how do we create the conditions that would allow for such an organization to emerge, claim power, hold it long enough to build a substantial base, then act on it towards a revolutionary goal?

first you've gotta ask why it's so hard to imagine this fanciful 20th century ass operation today. obvious answers: it's fucking impossible for a third party to gain a foothold in the system as it stands, so let's fix that. ranked choice voting would be a good place to start. i'm no electoralist, but if we're presuming that the revolution isn't happening tomorrow then some element of its foundation must be in making our democracy an actual democracy that can reflect people's needs. repeal citizens united. put HUGE limits on campaign donations and make it harder to conceal donations through super PACs. redistricting is another essential piece of the puzzle-- there is precisely one map of every major usamerican city and it's the map of redlined districts where people of color were not allowed to buy property. look at wealth distribution in communities and it'll map 1 to 1 to historic redlining, guaranteed. we gotta fix gerrymandering, loosen restrictions on poll access (such as the ad hoc poll tax that is government ID requirements), and if we're really feeling frisky push for a mandatory federal voting holiday so that no one has to work on election day (which elections count for "election day" is a whole other quagmire of course). less obvious answers: the cops and the FBI are still imprisoning and murdering black, poc, native, and queer activists in broad daylight. the national prison population is an IMMENSE locus of potential revolutionary energy. some goals on that front: abolish prisons, massively defund the cops, and curtail the surveillance state. restore the convicted felon's right to vote, and otherwise remove the many bureaucratic roadblocks that artificially create the cycle of recidivism. put money into nationwide job training programs (NO PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIPS) not just for ex convicts but for everyone, for reasons we'll get to momentarily.

i focus on electoral reform at the start here because i think it's an illustrative example of just how sprawling the task before us is. my goal isn't to overwhelm you or make you feel doomed because "holy shit that's already a lot of stuff that feels totally impossible and you haven't even mentioned healthcare yet," but to hammer home that the class war is being fought on a million fronts. you will go completely numb if you expect any one person or organization to address all of these issues simultaneously and as soon as possible. in an ideal world, there are many many affinity groups working towards these ends all over the place, either as part of or in solidarity with our imagined vanguard. i'm trying to look at ways to materially improve the lives of people in our political economy as it currently exists, rather than just saying "we need revolution" and leaving it there.

alright then, so what about capitalism? another major factor in the systematic disenfranchisement of the working class is the role corporate employers play in maintaining the class war. nobody has time to participate in local political actions because everyone has to work crushing hours, and when they do have days to themselves they still have to personally drive to wherever things are happening and find parking, instead of grocery shopping, taking care of kids, just fucking relaxing, whatever. obvious answers: medicare for all. right now, healthcare access is tied to employment status unless you are COMICALLY poor (i just got kicked off of medicaid a couple months ago because i now make marginally more than the cutoff, which now means i'm paying $200+ more a month on healthcare and am now way more worried about money than when i was on welfare. what a great and functional system!). if you're afraid of losing your health insurance for any reason, then you are disincentivized from expressing any opinions you might have about the conduct of your employer by, say, quitting. just passing universal healthcare alone would cause some major turmoil in the US economy. invest in mass public transit with rigorous local neighborhood access, and now a hell of a lot more people are empowered to participate in civic duty. less obvious answers: get rid of at-will employment! make it much much harder for employers to fire people, and regulate the ability of corporations to do mass layoffs. this would go a long way towards throwing some wrenches into the methods corps use to invent economic prosperity through the creative application of spreadsheets. on top of that, let's nuke the absolute fuck out of means-testing for programs like food stamps, medicaid, social housing, or literally any other form of "charity" that made Reagan shit his pants.

speaking of means testing, let's talk about bullshit jobs. there are a TON of pointless, degrading, wasteful jobs in this country. corps playing middlemen to middlemen. endless state and business bureaucracy using hundreds of systems that rarely if ever communicate with one another, putting a huge administrative burden on working people while the rich beneficiaries of this exploitation get to launder their guilt through the public-facing punching bags of customer service representatives. too many people work at the office factory. there are a lot of industries that need to be massively curtailed if not outright destroyed, a fact that intersects with the threat of climate change when you include coal and oil jobs. it's not enough to get rid of these positions, you also have to have a plan for those displaced workers-- hence the job training program i mentioned before. if we actually want to see a transition into a more egalitarian society that doesn't run exclusively on fossil fuels, then there needs to be a pipeline that gives purpose to the people whose lives will inevitably be radically altered by the kinds of changes we're talking about. there's an important thing, actually-- we all need to be prepared for this line of questioning and have a good answer in the back pocket. there is no shift from pure capitalism to even lite democratic socialism that won't hurt some cohort of people that doesn't deserve it. unless you want them to fall in with the fascists, you're gonna want to have a plan for how to integrate them into the world you're trying to build.

here's a wildcard for you. a lot of folks are on that "break up the monopolies" grind these days, and i appreciate the sentiment. i also think we would be vastly better served in the long run by simply nationalizing the monopolies. obviously there are plenty of worthwhile concerns to be had about any usamerican government gaining that kind of control over anything at this precise moment, but we cannot let that impede the horizons of our imaginary. i don't want market reform, i want the abolition of markets. the internet should be a public utility and ISPs should be government institutions. tech needs UNENDING regulation as we are all aware. social media should be public and interoperable. there needs to be a rolling back of internet surveillance. i've been toying with the idea of a Federal Department of Digital Moderation as an intervention on the current fascist radicalization pipeline that is social media, but that raises so many other concerns that i don't have an answer for. mostly i just think that the profit motive needs to be excised from as many sectors of public life as possible, and nationalization is a pretty good way to get there.

affordable housing! lower rents means fewer hours at work to make ends meet means more time to spend with family & community means more chances for more people to participate in civic action. abolish student debt and make college free! and make it illegal for colleges to invest in shit like fucking israel! a more accessible system of higher education means a more educated proletariat. this wouldn't by any stretch automatically lead to a more leftist proletariat, but conservatives have worked very hard to curtail access to higher education and that alone is more than enough reason to push for it. i've really buried the lede here, honestly. to my mind, medicare for all, mass public transit, free education, and national rent control are THE milestones we ought to be aiming for in terms of domestic policy. it is simply impossible to estimate how seismically and immediately these four policies (if applied equitably and without means-testing) could transform civic life in the USA. any systemic social ill you can name has some connection to one of these four ideas. i personally hold prison abolition & police defunding as equally essential, but these are unfortunately a MUCH harder sell for a lot of folks and will require some solidaristic frog-boiling from the likeable progressives/socialists of the world to naturalize the idea. but then, on that front i'm speaking very much outside my lane, and would defer to the wisdom of actual abolition activists in a scenario where we were talking concrete policy.

then there's foreign policy. this post has gone on a long time and i'm not the person to talk about this at length, but: the united states military needs to be defunded, and its outposts across the world removed. to curtail global climate change, the american imperial project must end. our meddling in foreign affairs is directly responsible for the domination of capital, and so long as this and other western states exist as they do, no communist outpost is safe. then there comes the question of reparations. all those billionaires didn't invent their money, they stole it. in quite a lot of cases they stole it from US citizens, but they've stolen far more from the rest of the world. tax the rich at 99% and distribute billions no-strings-attached to african and pacific island nations? other countries deserve a right to self determination without the threat of foreign interference. our nation's wealth doesn't just need to be taxed and redistributed to working class usamericans (particularly black communities), it ought to be redistributed internationally to all the countries we've fucked with over the last century and a half. but that's a pretty late stage pipe dream.

i guess the last thing that i've been thinking a lot about is more esoteric, and certainly difficult to implement. i believe we need to seriously interrogate "progress" as a concept. right now our society is defined by technological advancements as encouraged by a capitalist economy. if you fuck around with old analog tech at all, you've probably said to yourself more than once "they really don't make em like this anymore." i think about that fucking Hot Ones interview with matt damon about how streaming has stabbed the established profit model in the heart, where he says something like "we had a pretty good thing going before they showed up." i think about small museums closing down in the pandemic because they couldn't turn a profit, small local shops closing down for the same reason. constant newness paired with engineered obsolescence. disruption of the equilibrium in order to steal profit. it's easy to argue that socialized healthcare is good because it's actually more cost efficient than private healthcare. but those are the terms set by capitalists. i believe that healthcare and profit-seeking should be mutually exclusive. i believe that some things are a public good, however small --museums, quirky shops, parks, art spaces, open lots, movies, music, theater, whatever-- and that these things should be protected from the market at all costs. the alternative is corporate consolidation of everything, as every piece of local color cannot compete with economies of scale and asphyxiates to death. i refuse to accept the idea that "progress" means throwing away anyone who specialized in the thing being progressed beyond. i refuse to accept the idea that "progress" is linear and exists beyond the purview of morals, values, and ideology, nor indeed that it is inevitable and in any event an unalloyed good.

i believe that it doesn't matter if making higher-quality clothes at greater cost in unionized factories is "less efficient" than fast fashion. all "efficiency" means is spread everything as thin as possible, just enough just on time regardless of context. it's a mask for robber baron bullshit. it's an attempt by the bourgeoisie to naturalize the laws of economics as if they were on the same level as the laws of gravity, and we just can't accept that anymore. there's that meme, "i want shorter games with worse graphics made by people who are paid more to work less and i’m not kidding." i think we ought to apply that sentiment far more broadly. if we truly believe in the dignity of a self-determined life, then we must agree that some things are above profit, above efficiency, and are worth doing right. i haven't quite nailed down yet how exactly to verbalize this idea in a way that can be easily & quickly understood. but i feel it intensely, and only moreso as time goes on. as we push for these seemingly-impossible policy changes, it's of equal importance that we not lose ourselves to the limitations of the system as it exists under capitalism. to transform the world we must transform ourselves. to save the world we must save ourselves. if we hold a value to be true, then it must be constant and uncompromising. we must agree that our lives are better off when certain things exist even if they aren't efficient or fail to turn a profit, and thus decimate whatever part of us has been raised to believe that efficiency and profit ought ever to enter the equation. of course, in any revolution costs quickly become a huge going concern. there will always be painful compromises in policy along the path, always disappointments and mistakes. no revolution can be perfect. but through all these material challenges, the world that must be needs a place at the table with us. impractical, impossible, unfeasible... necessary.

you will probably not live to see that world, anon, and neither will i. we are all in the long game now, and it can never stop with one good policy, one good politician, one needed win. it's everything or it's nothing. socialism or barbarism. it is this belief which guides me, that no one ought to suffer the indignities i've suffered in my years working for shit wages, struggling to find housing, watching family die from economic abandonment. that there is simply no reason for society to be the way that it is, and that "the world isn't fair" is no excuse when we are the engineers of that "world" in every way that matters.

anyway, those are some of my thoughts on the subject. i hope i haven't made a complete fool of myself here.

[caesarhamato22]

can i get some NSFW headcanons or a lil fic about DK with a more submissive fem reader? love ur stuff <33 DK needs more love

Absolutely, you can!

I wasn't sure how submissive you wanted the reader, or how dominant you wanted DK, so I hope this will suffice!

Mine

Donkey Kong X Fem!Reader NSFW

Summary: Donkey Kong loves you, his wonderful submissive girlfriend who taught him how to up his game in the bedroom. Let's see how much he's learnt.

Warnings: Language, fingering, oral, overstimulation, doggy style p in v, being manhandled (with love ;)), praise, slight degrading (?), orgasm denial, pussy slapping.

Headcanons:

• DK is strong. He can, and will, carry you anyway and anywhere he wants. As stated in the warnings, you WILL be manhandled (lovingly <3).

• He doesn't seem like the kind of guy to be very degrading, but the first thing you noticed was that he was the kind of guy to say phrases like "you like that?" and that was it.

• But don't worry. You taught him well.

• All the phrases you liked, all the positions you preferred, you let him know.

• At first, he may have been offended? His ego could've possibly been hurt because he thought he was the BEST.

• He made you cum, no doubt about it.

• But you knew he needed some tips.

• After his little hissy fit, he accepted your notes.

• Jeez, was he doing THAT much wrong?

• Not technically.

• He could've just been doing it better.

• He tried the phrases you liked, and even added some of his own, hoping they'd turn you on.

• Before your advice? They would've been okay. Although, they wouldn't have made you writhe from just his words.

• But after some practice?

• Some trail and error?

• He occasionally didn't even need to take your clothes off for him to make you cum.

• But the times where he wanted to give you more?

• He gave you everything.

• He loves overstimulating you. He would, of course, stop immediately if you used the safe word.

• You rarely did.

• He knew how much you wanted, and how much you needed.

• He loves when you moan his name.

• The first time you begged breathlessly, "please, don't stop..."

• He was on CLOUD. FUCKING. NINE. MASSIVE ego boost.

• After countless ;) times of him noticing how you melted against his movements more and more each time, he became more adventurous.

• You were never shy about being on the more submissive side. You loved when he took control. And you let him know that.

• It took a few tries for him to know how you liked to be fucked.

• He eventually realised that you like to be fucked.

• Was it always his aim to make sure you couldn't walk afterwards?

• Not always.

• Was it a common goal?

• Perhaps.

• Did he succeed?

• Absolutely.

~

It was painfully obvious when DK wanted something, especially from you. He'd drop massive hints, or he'd just flat out ask. Occasionally, he'd run his hands over your curves, squeezing tenderly while planting gentle kisses over your shoulders and down your back, eventually leading into a heated make out and/or him fucking you so hard that your legs ache for days after.

Y'know. Just casual activities like that.

At the end of a lazy day, like all other lazy days, you and DK were relaxing in your room, resting side by side on your large bed. After DK had started sleeping at your place more often, you got a bigger bed, just for you and him. With you on your stomach, and him on his side next to you, you both sat in comfortable silence, occupied by your own gadgets and hobbies.

DK glanced over to you, studying your figure as if he hadn't seen you with no clothes during multiple occasions. A sly smile crept onto his face when his eyes landed on the dip in your lower back and the curve of your ass. His cheeks turned slightly red at the sight of your bare legs, your heels crossed, as all you wore was an oversized t-shirt that was soaked at the shoulders from your wet hair, half-dry from your recent shower.

He knew you weren't wearing undergarments.

You rarely did after a shower. Especially if you weren't going anywhere.

DK was so glad you weren't going anywhere.

Casually, he kneeled beside you and ran a hand down your back, over your shirt. As you sighed in contentment, his grip became firmer down your sides, passing the hem of your shirt and grazing your hip, then stopping at your thigh.

His hand reversed it's movements, pressing against your thigh and up to your hip, but going under your shirt instead of over.

Whatever you had previously been focused on had been casted aside. You released another sigh of relaxation as DK positioned himself over you, leaving room for his hands to explore freely.

Once his other hand had joined in, running under your shirt, eager to embrace the warmth or your slightly damp skin, both his hands ran over your stomach and cupped your breasts. He held them sweetly and leaned down to kiss your neck. He rested his face there for a moment, savouring the scent of your freshly washed hair.

Was that vanilla? Yes, vanilla with coconut. His favourite.

You knew him too well.

As he lowered himself to hover over your thighs, your legs twisted tightly to hide the heat building between them. Instinctively, you pressed your behind against him, desperate for him to do something. You knew whatever he had planned would leave you breathless, you just wanted to know what that would be.

You moaned softly in return to his massive hands becoming tight around your boobs, his lips brushed against your ear with a soft groan, "baby..."

You leaned onto your crossed elbows in front of you, smiling while giving him a side glance.

His hands squeezed your chest one more time, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples delicately. You made a quick sharp inhale through your nose as the sensation was gone as quick as it had hit you.

DK let his hands guide themselves, one to cup your pussy while the other gently slapped and gripped your bare behind, all while his hips moved tauntingly against you.

You moaned quietly, not daring to show weakness. Both DK's hands tightened, causing the moan to escape you just a tad bit louder, loud enough to cause your boyfriend to wickedly smirk at you. He ran one of his fingers through your folds, just grazing your clit.

"Already wet? And I barely had to touch you." His deep voice lingered in your mind. His finger explored just slightly deeper. "Can I please touch you?"

Like an instinct, his finger was on your bud, massaging gently. You mouth hung open for a moment before you buried your face into your arms with a nod.

DK's free hand was brought to your hair. His fingers tangled through your hair, pulling gently to make you face forward. He leaned over you, kissing your jawline while eyeing you. You turned your head and kissed him eagerly.

With his other hand, his fingers pushed deeper into your wet cunt, all while playing with your clit and kissing you hungrily. You whimper at the pressure, which only caused him to deepen the kiss, and his fingers.

Your moans against his lips grew as your body held onto any sign of a building orgasm.

But just as your legs shook the smallest amount, he pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean.

"You didn't think I'd let you let you off that easily, did you?"

You tried to look at him, a hint of confused and slight frustration were seen. DK only smiled and slid his hands over your hips, gently pulling your ass closer to him.

"Please tell me you're gonna fuck me..." It was a beg. You weren't afraid to beg anymore. Both you and DK found it hot. Really fucking hot.

Win-Win.

"Not yet, gorgeous." He held your hips tighter, leaning over to kiss your back. "I deserve some fun, don't I?" His mumbles tickled your back, causing you to shiver.

"Hurry up." You gasped and groaned when you felt his hand firmly pat your pulsing clit, his other hand pulling your hip roughly. "Please...!"

"Good girl." His hands lifted you slightly by your hips, bringing you higher until your pussy was level with his mouth. Your back arched as your lower body was dragged upwards. You leaned your forearms on the bed while he guided your feet to hook on his shoulders for support.

Although, it wouldn't matter much if you had fallen.

If you let go, DK would hold on. And he would keep going for as long as he pleased.

It was the teasing kisses on your inner thighs that made you quiver. So gentle and ticklish, it was almost too much. His hums hovered around your vulnerable cunt, just a couple inches from his mouth.

He held you still while your reddened face look straight ahead, upwards, downwards, side to side, anywhere to distract you from the building urge.

"Kong, please hurry," you pleaded. You felt his kisses pause on one thigh before he moved to the next, instead planting hickeys so close to your core. Hickeys that only he was allowed to see.

Were they yelps or sounds of pleasure? Even when you were the one to make the sounds, you weren't so sure. You didn't have much time to deliberate before DK's tongue slid through your folds, flicking your clit while his hums acted as a gentle vibration.

Trying to push closer against his mouth was useless while he held your hips in place. Thankfully, he knew how needy you were, and replied to your muffled moans by eating you out like you knew he could.

Putting all his effort and taunting in and around your pussy while you shook at the constant edging.

Sucking, slowing down, kissing, pulling back.

Oh, it was agony.

Pure, furious, painful agony.

And you wanted more.

"Oh god... Dee, I..." You covered your mouth when he finally pulled your needy pussy against his mouth, sucking deep while simultaneously giving sweet attention to your clit. Your eyes rolled back as your thighs tightened around his head, only pulling him in more when your orgasm was right there. Trying to hide the effect he had on you, your moans were muffled against your hand, knowing if you pulled your hand away, DK's ego would inflate from your cries of pleasure.

Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you looked at it, that's exactly what DK wanted to happen.

His actions ceased when he sensed your attempt at silencing yourself.

He pulled back and lowered you down to be flat on the bed once more. You hand fell from your mouth as you panted lightly. Annoyance crept up from the second time your sweet release was snatched away from you.

You had no time to think, no time to argue once Kong grabbed your hips and slammed into you, thrusting fast and rough. Your hands reached for anything to hold to steady yourself while your body quivered at every thrust.

"You're a bit impatient aren't you?" He grunted through each movement, maintaining speed and force. "Wanting to be fucked so bad. It's cute."

Your gasps matched his rhythm, eventually turning into choked moans while your mouth stayed open, lost in the building pleasure.

"Come on, sweets," he leaned over, his chest hovering over your back as his hand snaked down passed your stomach. "Please let me hear you." His fingers rubbed gentle circles on your bud. You gasped and closed your mouth to conceal a moan that could still be heard.

One of his hands held wrapped under you to hold your shoulder, keeping you still, while his other hand stimulated your clit, eliciting high-pitched moans from your lips that matched his thrusts.

"Atta, girl," he groaned. "There you go." His attention was on all his movements. Keeping up the speed and pressure, desperately wanting to make you cum, just like he had many times before.

"Dee-" You tried to say his name, since you knew he loved when you moaned it, but the pleasure increased, finally pushing you through an overwhelming, full, orgasm. Your whimpers and cries reached his ears, making his smirk against the back of your neck.

"Fuck," he grunted, the roughness of his pounding staying consistent. "You feel so fucking good..." His plants just two gentle kisses before focusing back on his hips and hands.

Overstimulation slowly found you. You quivered and shook from the ache of your overused clit and DK's cock fucking you mercilessly. You face pressed against the pillow with a dazed expression, another orgasm replacing the previous one.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Your eyes widened and you tried to speak, but weakened mumbles were all you could produce.

"You're gonna have to use your words, gorgeous."

You replied the same way, this time with an ever so quiet, "no.."

DK removed his hand from your clit and slapped it lightly, just enough to make you jolt with a whimper. "Can't hear you~"

"Don't stop," you groaned, barely able to move with his cock deep in your cunt and his other hand still holding your shoulder.

He pulled out and pounded into you once. "Say please."

"Please! Please, don't stop-!" You whined and lift your face off the pillow, leaning on your shaky forearms. DK kept his length deep in you as he leaned over to rest his chin on your shoulder.

Benefits of him being seven fucking feet tall.

"Look at me." He watched your head slowly turn sideways to face him. He eyed your lips and you eyed his. "I love you."

You released a shaky breath, thinking back to the multiple orgasms he had given you on this day alone. "I can tell." You smiled. DK couldn't help but laugh, burying his face in the crook of your neck as comfortably as he could.

You felt his laugh lessen as his lips trailed gentle kisses down your spine while he adjusted his position to hold you firmly. With his hands going to your hips, he slowly leaned back up. You felt his hips slowly grind against you, moving his cock gently in your cunt.

You groaned lowly, burying your face into the pillow once more. "Kong, baby, I don't mean to rush you but can you please hurry up and make me cum."

He laughed deeply, his hands tightening on your hips.

"Glad to know you finally learnt some manners."

He pulled out and pushed back in, bringing back the intense pleasure that was temporarily put to the side. Your moans returned, louder than before, as DK put all his effort into fucking you mercilessly.

Your knuckles turned white from your grip on the sheets. Your cries of ecstasy were let out as your lower body became numb to the pleasure.

While his speed increased, DK leaned over you, his weight on one hand beside you. His other arm wrapped around your waist, holding your limp lower body against him.

"Fuck, take me so well." His own moans started to seep through.

Weak whimpers and whines, your voice was like a melody to him, encouraging him to keep going. Your grip on the sheets falter once you start seeing stars, yet another orgasm hitting you.

"Dee..." You whispered with whine.

How he was able to fuck you like this, for so so long, you will never know.

"Almost there, baby." He leaned to kiss your back once or twice before focusing back on his movements. "Oh god, you're doing so well.." He moaned deeply, feeling himself about to finish.

"Dee, I..." You slurred, you were numb, overwhelmed and exhausted from the intense pleasure coursing through your entire body.

Tapping out or saying the safe-word wasn't a common thing for you. It certainly wasn't a thing at all for DK. He always knew when you had had enough, but he also knew that you were stubborn. You liked to be pushed passed your limits, and DK was happy to assist you.

But there have been a couple times, only a couple, where you thought you could take more, but you ended up almost passing out.

He had felt so ridiculously guilty for getting lost in his own game, stopping immediately when you weren't able to respond. Those nights changed into pure aftercare and relaxation with him asking you if you needed anything.

DK made sure to watch and listen to how you were taking everything he gave you, to make sure that those incidents rarely, or never (if he could help it) happened again.

"Holy shi-" His voice and breath shook. "Fuck, baby, I'm..."

His thrusts slowed the smallest amount before he pulled out, letting his cum soak into the sheets. He quickly jerked off, shooting out his load as he watched your body collapse on the bed. His other hand pat your ass, grabbing firmly with a smile and a pant.

He let go of his used cock before moving up to lay next to you, gingerly pulling you to rest on top of him. You panted heavily. Strands of your hair stuck to your sweaty forehead. DK stroked your hair back and shuffled to let you relax comfortably.

He couldn't hide a small laugh. "You okay?"

You could only groan in response. His eyes narrowed slightly. He tilted your head as he looked down at you with a twinge of concern.

He knew you liked it rough. He knew you liked to be challenged. You had told him you loved it when he took control, teasing and edging you without mercy. He loved it, truly. Occasionally he'd get lost in the pleasure, but he'd never dream of harming you.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked seriously.

You blinked a couple times and faced him as well as you could and reached a hand to hold his face with a breathy laugh. "No, babe, you didn't hurt me." He smiled and let out a shaky breath of relief. Your head fell back on his chest with your hand still holding his face. "You just fucked me... really good."

He pulled you up closer so your face was back in front of his. "You weren't so bad either." He glanced at your lips as his hands trailed down your back.

You got comfortable in your new position. "If you count not doing anything and almost blacking out then, yeah, I did great." You leaned your face closer to his.

DK pulled you in for a kiss with a heartfelt smile, a laugh low in his chest. You kissed back, holding his face with your gentle hands. He held you close by your waist, deepening the embrace.

You mumble against his lips, "and I love you too… but I think I need another shower, now.”

Yeah, he was pretty good.

~

This took longer than expected.

ALSO, this is my first smut where I make the Reader more submissive, so please tell me know if you have any critiques <3

I'm working on another request now!

See you there!

[niuniente]

Catching up on tumblr and read your post about Sergei Dragunov's message of survival! May I ask what other characters from any fandoms are also acting as messengers for you?

There are so, so many from the past almost 20 years when I started to do this and connect the dots! Some of the characters are still questions marks with their messages but it's part of the fun to patiently figure them out - and, if there's none, then there's none and that's okay.

I'm going to introduce a few ones only so this list won't get too long.

Dante (Devil May Cry) Dante represents a time of transition, when the old isn't here anymore but the new hasn't arrived yet either. This is because he himself is a half-devil, half-human and thus doesn't really belong to either side. This transition is pretty much always something which takes me from old to new in a way that there's no returning back to the old. It's always a positive transition. For example, I started to see him around a lot before a surgery I didn't know I needed but which improved my life's quality afterwards. And, also, 5 months before I knew I was going to apply for a school and get accepted in.

Vergil (Devil May Cry) Vergil is a sort of a newcomer who very rarely appears. His message is a total transformation where the old completely dies and a new phase begins. Like the Phoenix. Where his brother Dante predicts a transformation in some field, Vergil predicts full scale transformation, which is inevitable. Multiple things will change at the same time but this purging is necessary and beneficial.

Hwoarang (Tekken) Hwoarang was a very close "guide" when I was younger. His message is that keep your eyes on the price/goal but don't force it as higher forces are at play, too. Stay humble to know when to step back but don't let the inner fire for your goal and ambitions disappear. The moment of pause is only a moment of pause. This is because Hwoarang goes after whatever the hell he wants, even breaking rules and law, but bring in his master Baek (the higher force) and he immediately knows his place.

Reno (Final Fantasy VII) Reno used to be around a lot more when I was in my twenties, worried about my career and work life. He sometimes appears to kick my ass but I'm happy I need his services a lot less now lol. This is because Reno's message is confidence as you are in a work environment. And ONLY in the work environment! Doesn't matter how you look like, doesn't matter how you are. Just be yourself. You will succeed and find the people who appreciate what you have got to give to your work field. This is Reno's message because despite his attitude, looks and the way he "violates" the workplace dress code, he is still 2nd in command right after his boss.

Daiki Aomine (Kuroko no Basket) Aomine is bold, 100% confidence with no hesitation, because the only one who can beat Aomine is Aomine himself - according to him. So, why do you stand on your own way, trip your on feet and give up? No one can beat you but you - go for it! Know your worth and give credit to your talents.

Grimmjow (Bleach) Grimmjow is titled as The King in Bleach so he represents ultimate rule over your own life and your own actions. You do you and don't give a shit what others want from you or what they think about you. His message isn't aimed to anything particular but it's more of a call to embody that self-sufficient regal energy, where anyone who crosses your path and says "No you can't" is nothing but a whining bastard. His the "Take No Shit" part from the motto Do No Harm, Take No Shit.

Sergei Dargunov (Tekken) Adding Dragunov here, too, if someone missed the original post. Dragunov represents (and predicts) ultimate survival in an extreme environment where my future - from a logical point of view - is heavily threatened. Like, to that degree that IF things don't work out (soon!), I will not survive. Keep your calm, keep your emotions in check as there's no need to panic, even if the world around you was on fire. The fire will not catch you. This is because when I think about Dragunov, I feel that he will survive anything. Drop an atom bomb over him and he probably just walks away from it with some dust on him, unharmed. Then, he goes to mind his own business and assemble his pink toy tanks. I think that such a notion is a small extra; have some sense of humor, even when the world burns. There are still nice things out there to enjoy of right now.

I'm currently trying to figure out Jessica Rabbit and Fran from FFXII, who has been my faves for a really long time. Most of the guides are men because I'm naturally more comfortable and at ease in masculine energy (a psychic once noted that my energy is, at the moment, more aligned with the divine masculine - one of my current lessons is to turn that to the divine feminine, which is extremely strong on my astrological chart. I just haven't been able to tap into it yet but I'm getting there!)

[sbrn10]

More post-e80 thoughts:

Two general things I just want to throw out there in the wake of having the shard/feywild arc largely wrapped up (although I hope there is more to come next episode in terms of the characters processing what happened).

(And of course I started writing this down as "two minor points" and it got stupidly long so I had to change the first sentence and now I guess I'll cut for sanity. The curse of being a verbose mfer.)

1.

I think "but they didn't trust each other at all???" re: the trust trial is kind of a weird take.

Given the setup, the central question or task in this trial isn't really "can you trust each other and thereby achieve your goal," it's "can you correctly identify the imposter(s), if any (and by implication, do you know each other well enough to do so) in order to achieve your goal." To phrase slightly differently, knowing each other and/or trusting that you know each other enough to identify each other is the point, because when you don't know whether the person in front of you is actually your friend, whether you do or do not trust your friend is irrelevant. But, if you can interact with someone who may or may not be your friend and come away confident in your judgment of whether it is them, that is at least by proxy evidence of a reasonably solid relationship. And, although opinions may differ on how solid the process was (most notably, whether attempting to use Detect Thoughts means there is a lack of trust, which I disagree with but this is long enough already), they did end up correctly identifying that nobody was an imposter, which means they did succeed at the challenge given to them.

Also, given that this game was really half in character and half out (as in, it was as much the players observing each other out of character as it was about the characters observing each other in character, which, you can be happy or unhappy about, I guess, but it would be weird to ignore it), I found it to be both fun to watch and about as good an outcome as could be expected.

2.

One thing I've pondered before is that BH, while made up of various flavors of ticking time bomb characters, are actually very different. Chetney's werewolf, FCG's circuitry, Laudna's relationship with Delilah, Imogen's mind-reading and Ruidus-adjacent powers, Fearne's relationship with the shard and/or Dark!Fearne, and *waves vaguely* Ashton's... all of that are all really different kinds of problems. (Orym's grief/trauma is not included, because that's just bog-ass normal human emotions, not supernatural/magical/fantastical bullshit.)

There are parallels that can be drawn between these problems, of course, and the ways in which they try to look to each other for guidance is fascinating to me (like, I think Chetney's constant advice to embrace their problems the way he embraces the wolf is incredibly inapplicable to some of the characters but it's also so understandable why he would say so, and that's delicious), but as outside readers, some care should be taken to understand all of them individually.

Further, there are obviously ways to examine each of these issues as metaphors for real human issues -- like chronic pain, anxiety/other kinds of mental illness, abusive relationships, substance abuse/addiction, etc. (side note: I mean, I thought the addiction metaphor for Delilah was way off, but Matt threw it out there, so??) -- but to be too focused on that kind of metaphorical reading is, I think, limiting, because this is... you know. D&D.

For instance, to argue that Imogen taking off the circlet is "going off her meds" or that Imogen considering giving into the Ruidus connection is self-harm is a valid reading, but Imogen's powers are NOT actually mental illness. They come with defined mechanical benefits and potential story that I assume Laura as a player trusts Matt to have devised and which presumably can be used (or at least explored) as a real weapon and strength in the overall narrative. Whether leaning into her powers will ultimately be something that hurts her or empowers her is yet to be written.

On the other hand, while obviously there are mechanical/narrative benefits to, e.g., Fearne accepting the shard, it's also perfectly valid for Fearne as a character to either a) not want that power, because she's happy with who she is today and doesn't want to become something different or b) be afraid of that power, because she hasn't grappled with how or why she would go down the path to becoming Dark!Fearne, and that's also all stuff that can be explored and written further. But that story would obviously be very different from Imogen's, since the shard is not innate to Fearne.

And I think smushing all of these nuances into "yaaaassss taking ownership of what others think is a flaw/disability and turning it into strength!" OR "wow they're all making each other worse / egging each other into more self-destructive behaviors" is just kind of... flat on both ends of the spectrum. It can be all of those things! There are different layers and lenses! I think it's a lot of fun that we get the room to make these connections and interpretations and the interplay between them!

I mean, I guess the conclusion to this weird mini essay is 1) I am having so much fun, and 2) I don't think think any of them are in an incredibly dire place as of the end of e80. I mean, Laudna's not doing great, so I'd like to see them deal with that! but also, it could be so much worse! I'm cautiously optimistic! And Fearne should probably talk about her feelings on the shard, but she seems pretty excited about it, you know?

[dragonaqe]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

tagged by the lovely @rosebarsoap to do this lil game and I'm trying to be better about doing my tags sooo.

saying that I am already late and everybody has been tagged so. I shan't tag anybody my apologies,

1. are you named after anyone?

Naur but I have a middle name that is also my aunts middle name. :3

2. when was the last time you cried?

Like PROPER cried??? genuinely no idea. I used to cry really easily but for a long time its been literally 3 tears and then the rest just suck back up. I get choked up really easy but no tears allowed. On that note the latest season of queer eye has been hitting so hard. everybody go watch.

3. do you have kids?

no and I don't ever want them. I love kids I feel a drive to protect them and I'll babysit any day but I would be an absolutely terrible mother I'm too anxious and like. hot headed to have one of my own. Also a lot of my health issues are genetic and I wouldn't want to put anybody through that.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

uhhh maybe?? probably?? idk ask nat. or my mother. I try to be sarcastic in a dry funny way and not like an overly mean way. does not mean i always succeed tho :/

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

I've worked with horses for... 18 years?? so. heh. didn't want to or have the money to do anything else after i got involved with them.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Like. body language. and then eyes. theres so much u can learn about people just by the way they hold themselves yk

7. eye colour?

brown. >:)

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings. i need joy in my life. I like Some kind of spooky movies the older I get but largely I just want something chill. the like 1995-2012 romcom era is my heaven. CAN WE START RLY BRINGING THOSE MOVIES BACK PLEASE!

9. any special talents?

?? idk ig I know how to pull hay and get it off wagons quickly. I can look at like a solid wall of hay bales and go Yeah THATS the one that needs to come out and then either I or my friend will pull it and it'll bring half the wall down. we call it hay jenga but the goal is to get as much down as possible as fast as possible

10. where were you born?

west coast canada. do not live there anymore tho i swapped coasts :(

11. what are your hobbies?

writing, gaming, modding, sewing, giffing, baking, bothering all my mutuals, riding,,,,I am a jack of creative trades

12. do you have any pets?

two ponies, a big ass dog, and 4 cats. two of which are maine coons so. big ass cats. when u see me crowing about eric and iris in the tags of a post...i am talking about them :))

13. how tall are you?

5 foot. maybe 5'1". tiny. literally on saturday one of the moms at the barn bought a new western saddle cover and was like hilary u could fit in this jump in and i honestly think I might have been able to.

14. favourite subject in school?

i really did not enjoy school tbh im rly not an academic but maybe history.

15. dream job?

the answer to this question has evaded me for nearing 24 years. at one point in time (age like. 4-11) i would have KILLED to be a thoroughbred jockey but nowadays...idk man. if I could do something with horses that would be great. thats my one true skillset baby but mein health....

[skyeqt]

Better than wolves is an amazing concept executed in a questionable way, it was basically entirely made out of spite. The creator simply didn't like the direction minecraft was being taken, and wolves were "the last straw", they wanted to see the game become more technical, and overall wanted things like automation, infrastructure, and a deeper sense of progression. And I'd say it absolutely succeeds in all of these goals, the middlegame seems great. Why do I say "seems"? Because I've never fucking got there, I've played it before, and tried to give it a good chance, and people aren't joking when they say it's hard, although I'd prefer to use the word "unfair". In addition to the whole idea of infrastructure and progression, the creator thought the game was too easy, which is why setting your spawnpoint is the end goal! Before that, every time you respawn, it's in a random 1000x1000 region around 0,0 and your coordinates are disabled, compasses are too expensive, and so you basically have no chance of ever finding your way back to where you were except pure luck. Well that's no problem surely, plenty of people play the game hardcore, and that doesn't tend to pose much of a challenge. Well, I think the best way to describe better than wolves overall is it's a resource management survival game, where the most difficult resource to manage is food. Your movement is very heavily restricted, well, no problem then, I'll just stay in place and farm. No you won't, because you don't unlock farming until iron, which is more difficult than it sounds. Oh okay then, I'll just go out and kill the animals around me. No you won't, animals don't respawn. Okay then what about breeding them, nope, without farming you have no chance, and even with farming you need a whole ass cake to just breed some cows. Well I'll just be very conservative with the animals I have around me. You won't do that either, because the mobs kill the animals. When you spawn, you have 1 day to get as much food as you can, and then when you move, you have half a day (you probably spend the first half moving), to get as much food as you can from there, which if you're lucky will maybe be enough to replenish the food you lost from walking over there! Better than wolves is a horrible mix of punishing too little movement, and punishing too much movement, making it incredibly hard to even survive in the early game, let alone gather the resources to progress! Even once you do have farming you aren't done yet, because there's gloom, if you spend too long in the dark, you just die, and torches burn out! So you either need to constantly gather more coal, mine for redstone blocks which produce a dim light infinitely, or get to the nether. Once you've finally done all that, you're actually mostly free, you can now afford to settle down and farm, and prepare as much or as little as you like before getting more resources, but I've never fucking gotten there despite my best attempts: one time I got eaten by a squid, another time a spider killed me because I couldn't gather enough wood to build a roof (wood is the only non-gravity block you can get early game, and don't think you're making planks, nope you're using 1 whole log), another time I thought I'd figured out a great strategy, I could fish using rotten flesh as bait, allowing me to stay in 1 place! Until one night where there weren't enough zombies and I ran out of fish, and I died while desperately trying to find food. Better than wolves is quite possibly as hard as everybody says it is, but not in the way you might expect, and while I absolutely love the concept, it's just so hard to get to the point where it's actually interesting.

[lightvsdark18]

Welcome to my studies of book tropes.

I have written down an explanation/short summary of some tropes. I did this to understand how to portray them accurately if I choose to use them for future novels. This is how I see the tropes and can be different to how you see it.

(The ones in blue are the tropes I made)

Romance: a story of two people meeting for the first time and slowly growing a friendship with each other. Throughout the story, the characters gradually develop feelings towards one another and struggle on how to control those feelings. The story ends with them becoming an official couple.

Dark Romance: a story that is the same as a romance story, but with darker tones. The two characters are terrible people (serial killers, black market sellers, mafia, etc) and act like law-biting citizens. As the friendship grows between them, it becomes harder to keep their dark persona a secret when romantic feelings are mixed in.

Friends to Lovers: a friendship that started during childhood, teen years or a dark moment in one of the characters' life. The friendship shows the trust and closeness of the characters have before romantic feelings make everything complicated, deciding to control those feelings or act on them.

Enemies to Lovers: enemies in a war or enemies that developed from tragedy (A killed B's loved one, A destroyed B's life, etc). The hatred between them is vile and toxic from the amount of pain they caused each other. Unfortunately, the two have to work together for a bigger problem, leading to the opportunity of a different point of view on their enemy to concur.

Love Triangle: three people who are acquaintances or friends develop romantic feelings towards them, but in a complicated way. A loves B, B loves C, C loves A.

Slowburn: a gradual buildup of a friendship to romance. The characters learn and grow into trusting and supporting each other, taking the time to understand one another before/during feelings got complicated.

Age Gap: a story that is the same as a romance story, but the characters' ages have a big gap in between (5-8 years). Life experiences the characters have can play a part in their dynamic.

One bed: two people have to spend the night together in a hotel or one of the characters' place and only have one bed to share. (I'll make it the most disinteresting thing known to man by sleeping on the floor/couch or falling sleep the second their head hits the pillow. Maybe complain about the other in the morning.)

Anti-Hero: a person who is uncaring, selfish and has questionable/bad moral code, but still wants justice, maybe even has a softer side that's buried behind tall walls. (A hero who has seen too much death, too much tragedies and lost motivation to continue and half-ass almost everything.)

Villainous Hero: a hero who acts like a twisted villain and often gets mistaken as one by bystanders and/or allies. (Bonus points if the viewers mistakes them as a villain.)

Heroic Villain: a villain who acts like a righteous hero and often gets mistaken as one by civilians and/or minions. (Bonus points if the viewers mistakes them as a hero.)

Anti-Villain: a person who has a strict moral code and works towards a selfless goal in a bad/evil way. (Overthrowing an evil empire while ruining the lives of innocent people involved. Good intentions, bad actions.)

Hero: a person who fights and protects their city, town or the world from those wishing to destroy/harm them. Is caring, compassion, has a good moral code, and will give up their life to save everyone.

Villain: a person who wishes to cause harm/destroy the innocent lives of people for selfish reasons. Is malicious, cold, sadistic, and will do everything in their power to succeed in their personal goal.

Protagonist: the character(s) of the story is based around.

Antagonist: a person who challenges or gets in the way of the protagonist's goal. (Don't villainous the antagonist.)

[sladetgx57-blog]

The recruits are talking on the flight deck as the door slams open, the Sentinel walks out as she then shouts. "Attention!"

Everyone quickly goes silent, as she looks them all over before continuing.

"I don't like repeating myself so you all listen up my name is Ryder, Sarah Ryder but if you have any sanity. You will refer to me as Sentinel Ryder, or Ma'am nothing more nothing less do I make myself clear!"

The recruits all shout a yes Ma'am and line up side by side at attention, she nods in agreement, before walking across the catwalk as she begins.

"Good welcome aboard the Prydwen now before I begin, I want to make one thing crystal clear. Who you were on the ground doesn't mean a feral's shit up here it stays down below. For up here you are recruits, no lower then recruits you are Initiates until I see otherwise. And Its to that which you follow our orders, efficiently and without delay anyone who doesn't answers to me."

She maintains her commanding posture her voice as loud and sharp, as a knife as she continues her thoughts.

"And another thing if you thought we were going to set you up, with a suit of shiny power armor and set you loose. Then you are dead wrong you will not touch, or even smell a suit of power armor unless I deem it so. To become a member of the BOS takes strength and high discipline, as well as dedication which I currently don't see in any of you, there is no half ass work done here that mindset. Will quickly get your fellow comrades hurt or worse, this will not happen on my watch if you are in then you are in all the way or not at all."

She walks down the stairs as they all back away from her, to which she then places her hands on the rail before speaking.

"Your training will be with me and it will be no cakewalk, it will be rigorous it will be unforgiving. It may very well be the hardest thing you've ever done, for I run a tight ship.You will eat where I tell you sleep where I tell you, and wear what I tell you. Because of this many of you will not agree, many of you will not like me but I could care less.

She sees a recruit resting his hand on the rail to which she draws, her pistol and fires two warning shots scaring them as she speaks. "Those were warning shots Initiate pray I don't catch you, sleeping on my watch again". She holsters her side arm before looking out, to the rest of them as she continues.

" As I was saying you all won't like me and some of you may even fear me, good because you will draw on that fear and turn it into strength while under my command. I have but one goal I am going to break you, each and everyone of you. I'm going to beat your spirit into the dirt, and if you can't handle that and persevere.Then you can get on that Vertibird right now because I don't fail at my goal. However those of you who can stomach it, and who can endure my training showing me you can go the distance I will rebuild your broken selfs, into the finest soldiers this Brotherhood has ever seen."

She walks back up the stairs her stride powerful and strong, as she then turns to face them as she finishes. "I will not succeed not with all of you, for some of you can't or won't make it. But I respect each and everyone of you, takes guts to come up here. So show me what you all are made of prove me wrong and you will go far, now report to the barracks for your requisition of uniforms dismissed.

[cocomere]

Oooh, sounds fun :D

Last Song: Either "All There Is" by Dirt Poor Robins or "Venom" covered by Anthong. The first is my desktop music player, the second is my mobile player. I almost always keep my music on shuffle, and given I have 880 songs in my usual playlist...no telling WHAT will pop up lmao. My full library is about 4,500 or so songs btw. I have about half in my inbox to weed through bc they have 0 plays, though.

Favorite Color: I loooove blues and greens. Stuff in the teal or seafoam range is gorgeous to me, esp if it's a little softer.

Last Movie: I don't usually watch movies in the typical sense. The last "real" movie would be parts of a random Hallmark movie, bc my mom watches those a lot. The last movie-esque thing I intentionally watched...probably the new HBomberGuy essay? I've watched other essays since then, but god that video has a whole ass narrative arc.

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Sweet, definitely. I don't so much have a sweet tooth as have an entire set of sweet teeth lmao. Spicy + savory is also really good-- I grew up in Louisiana, so I love cajun cooking. We had a seafood gumbo for Christmas and it was so fucking good.

Relationship Status: Single, very aro/ace and have no interest in dating. Romance stories are fun when they don't involve me, personally. And that counts even more for the spicy stuff. Plus I have a lot of shit I'd need to work through before trying to date.

Last Thing Googled: Just a few minutes ago I was trying to figure out how to get Zoom to detect my second monitor's built-in webcam. I did not succeed.

Current Obsessions: Dolls (esp BJDs), Minecraft, and my bonkers multiverse AU. And also my beloved bastard lad, Daz, and his even more bonkers branch timelines. The Incendium mod/datapack owns my soul now. I've become the primary source for its items on the Dreblr server, bc I sell them in my shop. My current goal is to collect at least one of every item. I'm only missing a few.

I'll tag Trias for you, but idk who else I could tag lmao.

@valravntheravenwolf

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @meghawhopp <33

Last song: Down by the River by Borislav Slavov from the Baldur’s Gate 3 Soundtrack (or more specifically the cover of Down by the River by Nerissa Ravencroft)

Favorite color: Blue and purple!

Last movie/TV show: Seinfeld, I’m currently on season four!

Sweet/spicy/savory?: I have a huge sweet tooth, so sweet things

Relationship status: Single

Last thing I googled: I searched up the show “Arthur” because I was trying to find that one meme where Buster was like “You really think someone would do that, just go on the internet and spread lies?”

Current obsession: Fragaria memories and tears of themis mostly^^

Tag Nine People: @kyaruun @xinieeee @deadmansbistro @florapot @hunita812 @scuffle-with-spirals @rexonalapis @maxellera @manicpixiedoomedgirl

[gofancyninjaworld]

A Tale of Two Goals

One of the things that surprised and puzzled me for a long time about the way the Saitama and Garou fight had ended was why Saitama had branded Garou's goals as half-assed and accused the latter of taking 'the easy way out.'  Most trenchantly, he said 'after all, all you had to do was defeat heroes.'

Looking at how tough it was for Garou to push himself, breaking past limit after limit, until he was hideously strong,  I could see how he was misguided.  But taking the easy way out?  What gave?

It finally all came to me in a rush.  And comes down to the goal that Garou had.

A: Just a little further...

Before I go into this,  I'm going to ask you to forget anything and everything you may know about 'Boku no Hero Academia.'  It's a fine series, but it's its own story with different premises, principles, characters and development.  A lot of needless confusion arises when people misunderstand just how superficial the similarities are.  Let's go on.

Fundamentally, Garou wanted to stand for the oppressed and downtrodden, which is a pretty heroic goal.  However, he wanted to do it by scaring people straight.  His goal was to become The Symbol of Fear.   This is important to keep in mind.   The manga has done a very nice little expansion of what he means by it.  Even drunkards are to be scared straight by the reign of terror he would like to unleash on the world.

His approach to becoming the Symbol of Fear was to attack heroes.  It was straightforward enough.  All he had to do was beat the twenty or so strongest heroes in the world to declare himself the Symbol of Fear.  Why heroes?

1.  IT IS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE STRONG.  Sorry for the emphasis, but it’s important.  One thing we've learned in OPM, particularly in the manga, is that there is no shortage of strong people.  In the webcomic we've had to wait until chapter 106, well after the Hero Hunter arc to be introduced to the idea of there being a pool of really strong people, but the manga brings this up with the Super Fight arc and then builds on it further [link]. As Genos muses, there are many people as strong, if not stronger than heroes who don't use that power in a heroic way.  

And Garou knows where to find them.  After leaving Bang's dojo,  he went to the previous Super Fight and won the tournament handily.   He went and busted many dojos in the six months before he formally declared war on the Hero Association.  But fighting strong people in and of itself is utterly meaningless to his goal. Strong people like fighting each other for whatever reason, money, pride, testosterone.  Whatever.  Being the strongest man fighting regular men means nothing to the general populace. Garou had to attack heroes specifically.

2. HEROES ARE LEGITIMATELY GOOD IN OPM.  Garou is the opposite of Stain.  Get any and all bullshit about heroes in OPM being hypocritical and somehow deserving of being punished out of your head.  Leave it in BNHA.  The heroes Garou beats up have individually and collectively saved hundreds of thousands of people.  We've seen it with our own eyes, heroes throw themselves at monsters to save people, even if the situation isn't going to go for the hero.  Not just Mumen Rider, but far, far more than that.  The Tank Toppers people love to hate on?  The experiences of the patients in the large hospital monsters invaded was that these guys forced themselves out of their hospital beds to protect them. 

In fact, let's put some numbers on this.  A large hospital has upwards of 500 beds, with three times as many people present as outpatients, staff, and visitors. Many bedridden patients cannot be moved.  We learn that 5,000 people were in the shelter the Deep Sea King attacked.  A stadium, such as the one Amai Mask sang at, 25 - 30,000 people.  City Z and its environs will have upwards of a million people.  For all these people, their personal experience is that but for the heroes present at the time, most of them would be dead. And it's not just about big numbers. The manga has further been able to show us that heroes, almost to a man (Metal Knight is the exception), value every life.  They will save anyone.

Even the 'lesser' heroes, the ones who can't fight monsters, we've seen for ourselves that they've gone in to bring people out of situations too dangerous for the rescue services to operate in.   Far too many people have been directly saved by heroes, or have had a friend, family or acquaintance saved by a hero, or know of someone who has for any idea of heroes not being worthy to stick. 

The trust that heroes have built up over the years isn't due to the Hero Association. It isn’t due to marketing. Not due to press coverage. None of that matters.  It's due to hundreds and thousands of lives saved by hundreds of painstaking, unflagging efforts, often in the teeth of great suffering.  Heroes may be human and flawed, but they are legitimately symbols of hope in OPM.  And thus it is that attacking and crushing them kills that hope and spreads fear.  Let me put it another way: if heroes were not legitimately good in OPM, then Garou would have no reason to attack them.  Garou is not policing heroes, looking for the worthy or unworthy. Indeed, the better the hero, the more valuable a target they are for him.

Putting it together, this is why Saitama castigates Garou so roundly.  Garou wants peace. He wants global recognition and the impact to create this peace. Which are good things. However,  instead of building it by painstakingly working on creating it by good work, he looked to capitalise on the hard work heroes had done and create fear through notoriety.  It's quick!  It's easy, certainly a lot easier than doing hero work. It's effortful, but it's not hard. It's a very distinct, limited and specific goal. All he has to do is beat the twenty strongest heroes and then announce himself as the greatest monster whom all should fear. 

That it wouldn't be an actually useful or helpful thing to do, isn't something Garou thought too much about. Thankfully, he couldn't beat one hero, the hero called Saitama, who has challenged him to get an actual worthwhile goal and do better next time, one that is helpful and authentic to what he truly wants to be. Which is actually to be a hero.  We wait to see what Garou comes back with.

B: ...So far to go yet

Phew! That's quite long!  And I'd have ended it here if it weren't for my good friend @the-nysh, who has listened patiently to too many of my half-formed rants and suggested that I look at Genos too.  

So, look at the picture above.  See over in the right corner?  There's a guy who's slumped over like a broken puppet.  If he seems to be listening intently to Saitama's lecture, that's because he is.

At this point, Genos had come to the realisation that he'd made a similar mistake to Garou, one that looks much harder to set right.  A little earlier in the evening, he'd had an epiphany that getting rid of his human body and reaching for body modification as a quick and easy route to power was anything but.  The despair on his face is one for the ages.  What next, ah we'll have to see.  

That said, one of the interesting things that is happening with the manga is that ONE isn't holding his characters artificially static to match their development in the webcomic.  They've done more, so they've developed more.  A fuller look at all the different characters who have progressed more in manga than webcomic has got to wait for another day.  In the manga, Genos has gotten a higher goal than just find and kill the mad cyborg.  Long term he's set his eyes on becoming the Symbol of Strength.

Hoo hoo, let's unpack that one!  It's definitely not a nice, neat goal. There are three necessary parts to it. 

First, you have to be able to beat everything and we do mean everything.  Any monster, any person, any threat. Not a bunch of heroes.  Anything. Everything.  No mistakes, no excuses. If it threatens people, you have to be able to save them from it.  The requirement to seek strength is if anything even more imperative than it has been to date. 

The second part is that you can't declare yourself to be the Symbol of Strength.  It's like calling yourself honest -- no one believes you, whereas if other people attest to your honesty, then you're considered it.  Being seen as the symbol of strength is a reputation built up slowly, by being consistently there and making the difference when it matters, so that people know that they *can* run to you and feel safe behind you because their experience is that you will use your power to end their oppression.   Protecting people is something that we do find out is truly important to Genos, at least as important as getting vengeance.  While he castigates himself for falling short, the truth is, Genos hasn't been doing too badly that way in the manga. Between the Deep Sea King debacle and Elder Centipede, he’s actually protected people extremely well. [I apologise, anime-only viewers, JC Staff edited out crowds whenever they could, so you missed the fact that Genos successfully both protected people while killing monsters with the G-4 robot and in City C. You also missed that he's learned to resist being distracted by people, the mistake that had cost him so dearly with the Deep Sea King and with Mosquito Girl in Season 1.]

That said, going up against monsters for whom ‘cyborg’ is a synonym for ‘tinned human’ (only no one remembers to pack a tin opener) and dealing with a public whose gratitude lasts no longer than a mosquito’s life are nothing compared to the third hurdle. The third one is the doozy: you can't become the Symbol of Strength while being a less than. If Genos is serious, at some point he will need to come from under Saitama's shadow and shine with his own light that borrows nothing from Saitama's own. Not easy when he’s got an obsessive admiration for and is psychologically over-dependent on Saitama.  He will also need to break out from the frame that Kuseno has cast him in.  All while having the very real handicap of being a cyborg and thus having real physical and financial dependency on the old man at least.  Attaining a healthy independence from both people is an absolute must. 

This is going to be some long-ass drama. Not that I'm complaining -- as long as the story has things to say, it's not going to end too quickly. :D No decisive set-piece battle will attain this goal for him.  It’s a long hard road to becoming the best person and hero you can be and we have no idea how far Genos will get, but it’s a most worthwhile journey. And if there’s any one thing we know about this guy, it’s that he’s damn serious about whatever he does. 

C: Wrapping up

If I were going to wrap up what these long-term goals (aspirations?) look like, it’d be this:  Authentic to what you really value.  No shortcuts.  Actually helps the world.  Makes a better person of you.

Oh, and it’s not easy.  You’ll need a lot of courage to see it through. 

I wait to see how these two guys get on. 

[artsy-hobbitses]

If possible, what was Brainstorm's early life like as an MTO? Does he still have feelings for Quark in the TTB universe?

I'm currently still piecing him together in my head tbh so what I have for him is not 100% concrete yet, but here are some snippets I've been able to mine:

He's South Korean and his name is Sun Byeong-ho.

He would have been one of the earliest M.T.Os, likely a 'prototype' who was 'brought online' a few years before the war for a government project.

He was also raised in a facility, similar to Prowl, but initially he doesn't talk about it (they were 'pruned' based on intellect) and, unlike Blaster who came out in the open as a CC at a time where they were fighting for better rights or Starscream who did hide his CC background best as he could but did not turn a blind eye to that fight, he did not have a good view of the 'knockoff people' and tried to distance himself as much as he could from being associated with the political aspects of it.

He buried himself in his work as a result, quite determined that even as a 'knock-off', as he and his batch were called then (he internalizes this in a bad, bad way), that he would succeed as the smartest of them all and outdo even 'regular' humans, which accounts for his insufferable attitude in the beginning. Knowledge is power, and he intends to mine that for everything its worth in the very narrow field he was created for as a measure of control in the only way he knows how. By medical school standards, he's what you'd call a 'Gunner'. He wants to be 'to smart to die', that is actually his goal to increase the value of his purpose and, hopefully, his expected lifespan.

He has some form of internalized classism. He knows he's just a knockoff but hey, at least he's not a knockoff working in manual, can't even imagine and don't want to imagine. They made him specifically for the science department so even if he is a knockoff, at least, he tells himself, he's got more worth (even more so than 'regular' manuals) in that aspect. This carries into his early days with the Autobots where he runs right into a wall with this thinking, in a group made up of a lot of Manuals (including the Chief of Intelligence!!!).

He's terrified of and harbors a hatred for the Decepticons, and he does have SOME legitimate reasons as to why, as his department was one of those that Megatron purged, having identified it as a cog in the CC/M.T.O/Mnemosurgery machine. He already didn't have a good view of them (remember that he's infatuated with Quark---someone who voiced out concern that Manuals wanting rights would end up in violence against them, the 'Intellectuals'), and then his dept gets swarmed and half his colleagues are murdered on the spot as the other half gives them up as those involved in those shady practices. He was lucky to have lived (he was confirmed to have not worked in those divisions--he had higher aspirations--and wasn't shot on sight) when the Bots broke into the prison he was being held in, but had suffered twin Glasgow grins thanks to wardens who were tired of his 'insufferable' attitude and wanted to teach him a lesson.

He's like Prowl in that he's realising how fucked up his situation was and how he was complicit in that system, and is desperately trying to reconfigure the way he sees the world and make connections that aren't mandated for work reasons or to get 'ahead' in the rigged rat race he was hurled in 5 minutes into existing.

Also trying to reign in the "Can it be done??" over the "Should it be done?" bc Wheeljack tryin'a explain to him that it does matter if what he does affects marginalized people. Knowledge isn't an "I do what I want card" as he was taught. Still, if it's just his ass trying to escape an explosion that's fine!

People skills? What people skills???

Still too smart to die, sorry. Cry about it.

He starts out as a bit an ass! But he does get much better as time passes by and ends up becoming Nautica's (a Manual!) BFF and working with Wheeljack and Percy on tech that actually helps people instead of govt projects/weapons.

[maythevoidnotscreamback]

To support yet not so subtly disagree with @master-ray5, I fully believe that Usa becoming a cheater, especially in a scenario as this ↑, is if who-so-ever she cheated with had preyed on her insecurities to their advantage. "He's working toward being a Dr, what're you gonna be: housewife, mangaka, teacher, social worker? Puh-lease. The first two might be feasible, if you can learn to make more than one or two decent meals or actually draw but the last two? You barely passed your mandatory schooling why would you think you could get through the optional kind?" or "What good are you to him at any medical conferences he attends? Other than to look pretty on his arm as a trophy wife, of course. Maybe pique someone's interest to gain support for himself, because those who want to succeed need to make… certain sacrifices, if you know what I mean, to get anywhere in such a cut-throat world." or "You do know he's just showing you off as his own pet ditz he calls his "cute girlfriend", right? Maybe not since he says it in a way he knows you won't understand, especially when you inevitably say the wrong thing." And other such shit as that.

Especially if they 'unintentionally' create scenarios between the two that can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, times of protectiveness that get twisted into 'he doesn't trust you' or moments of shame that get blown way out of proportion. Like, I'm not saying Seiya would do that ↑, that wouldn't be all that subtle, (not to mention how saying that when someone claims to love you? Especially with how protective they were over the season while Mamo wasn't in the picture to defend her himself? Yeah no. The other Senshi would whoop his ass first. Haruka might even kill him for it if Michi or Sets didn't get there first with a sweet smile on their faces.) but if he saw other(s) saying/doing such things to her because they don't feel she's worthy of Mamo, he might take the opportunity to subtly hammer it in "how much better" he'd be with someone who's actually on his level. On many levels. Especially if she starts feeling like the constant reassurances of Mamo are more placations of his girlfriend instead of his true feelings; what with the horrible communications skills coming between them. Not to mention how 'the future is always changing' and since a certain pink spore hasn't been seen lately... You know? And if Mamo breaks up with her for cheating on him then it's no skin off his nose since he knew Mamo didn't deserve or appreciate Usa's love, support, and faith. Not like he will once Usa gets over the guy.

What do you think @master-ray5? I not quite but took some inspo from your lovely fic "The Ghosts of Yesterday" but used other ways to incorporate certain things while leaving the uncertainty regarding Chibi in without revealing her existence and the possibility of how Usa cheating could be a Thing. ;)

Anyway! All not-quite-joking aside, other than all that ↑, Usa would never be a cheater. Never. If anything, the above image could be because Usa broke up with Mamo because of all I put above and she wanted what was best for him in her depressive, destructive type of support of him and his goals and dreams but he finally cracked through his own sense of inadequacies and went to get her back when he decided he wasn't having any of that, especially after he thought of how hard she fought for him in the past despite trying so hard to keep them apart on his end; maybe even had the Inners make him realize the truth - that Usa can be pretty self-sacrificial and self-harming if given half the chance or motivation; like someone she loves and wants to be happy even if it hurts or kills her. Like, it's not anywhere near the same type of way of R's break-up but the same very basic principle is there: wanting the love of their life to be living their life, even if they're not a part of it. Especially if she's thinking that by not marrying her, Crystal Tokyo's attack, or whatever else it might be called, doesn't happen because the Queen wouldn't advocate for banishment of those criminals to Nemesis, but death. Because remember people the Throne of Earth is Mamo/Dymi's Seat of Power not Usa/Ren's, that's the White Moon of Earth, so if they don't marry she has no reason to be called Queen of Earth if the royal planetary lines are ever re-established; hell, she might be called the Savior who woke the Earth from its dormancy/slumber but that 'honor' could be given to SM who could be killed off or said to have left to fight other evils elsewhere and Usa might not need to be Royalty at all. Especially if the Shittenou are revived to take on the roles the Senshi had in that alternate future so they can keep guarding their charge/friend/Queen-in-exile in secret while living their lives and dreams as normal people; only to be called on if the Shittenou should fall or the King asks for their aid.

Do you like? Do you agree? I'm calling it a Story Idea all the same because there's still people out there who get anal about how Usa "should" be with Seiya or the disgustingness that is Demando but there's also others, you know who you are, who love the OTP of SM too much to entertain such nonsense despite the many who say "they're wrong for each-other" because of the decisions of the idiots in charge of the 90s anime and can use that ↑ as inspo to show how it might work should they so desire. I just hope they send the link to whatever story they create or rec that has just this or similar as the plot.

Anyway! Sorry-not-sorry for high-jacking your own reblog and "proving you wrong" ;) @master-ray5! I just had to. X3 Please don't hate me too much, you know I absolutely adore UsaMamo too, and I also love you and your stories!!! Keep on writing and don't forget to keep being awesome, lovely! <3 <3 <3

Mamoru vs. Seiya

I found this picture in a Facebook group years ago. Unfortunately I have no idea who the artist is. If you know please let me know and I will update and credit.

Sooo... Mamoru looks like he's interrupting something serious happening between Seiya and Usagi.

This artwork might have influenced some of the dynamic between these two when I was writing the second arc (Black Moon) of Chaos Theory.

This would have been such an interesting storyline in the 90s anime if the Starlights didn't leave to go back to Kinmoku.

Happy Sunday!

Back to outlining more chapters!

[rsadelle]

Thanks to @theorajones who tagged me in a "5 things I like about myself" meme.

1. I have a good ability to laugh at myself. This is especially helpful when I'm feeling less than great. I have frequently gotten myself out of a bad mood by noticing the dramatic turn to my internal monologue and laughing at it.

2. As a general rule, I try to be kind. It's something I chose a number of years ago, and I'm still making that a goal when it comes to interactions with other people. I'm human and I don't always succeed, and I work on being kind to myself on those occasions.

3. I'm a good baker. I have enough baking experience that I've developed good instincts for it. I also bake according to a method I refer to as "half-assed baking" and still end up with plenty of delicious things to eat.

4. I'm a good writer. I like my own writing. I'm proud of my fictional writing, my nonfiction writing, and my turn of phrase when it comes to one-off things like emails and tweets.

5. I can maintain long-term friendships. I have two friends I've been friends with for over thirty years, and a couple more I've been friends with for around twenty years.

This didn't come with instructions about how many people to tag, so I'll just choose a few of you who I know are around on Tumblr these days, with no obligation to participate: @alakeeffectgirl, @thisallegra, @castillon02, @disgruntledkittenface.

[aqvarius]

Isn't it sometime frustrating when they don't let MC from hlitf shine. I mean she is most of the time is help by instructors and when she works on her own she screw up like in ishigami seq. Its MY personal opinion that she should be portrayed more intectual and strong since she is psd officer. I like MC character more in jin route she is shown more mature and smart than In other route. What do u think?? But I like her anyway

yeah i know what you mean! honestly sometimes she does stuff and i’m like OMG STOPPPPPPPP like kaga’s sequel had me S C R E A M I N G esp when i read his pov and realised that she interrupted the interrogation at a prime moment just as they were about to crack the guy. actually she frustrates me in almost every ms1 since in every route she has to make the mistake of losing sight of the main objective and getting distracted by minor crimes in order to start learning what it is that public safety actually does (including in jin’s route you know when she was supposed to be tailing someone). the only time she’s not a terrible public safety detective in season 1 is in soma’s routes haha which is why i love reading his routes for relief whenever i’m frustrated about her being a noob. although the reason that she doesn’t get criticised as much or make as many mistakes in soma’s routes is usually bc soma is usually: (1) being sarcastic; (2) being gentle; (3) basically preventing her from failure by orchestrating things on his own; (4) telling her to mind her own business about how he manages his informants; (5) there to back her up when she does make errors like running into a warehouse all on her own against a whole bunch of thugs (and then in fact becomes attracted to her bc of it lmaoooo). but she’s great throughout all his routes and gets praised by the other instructors and rarely makes those big stupid decisions like she does in kaga’s early routes for example lol. 

HOWEVER with that being said, i actually kinda like that she makes all these mistakes bc it really shows her growth, like seeing the difference in her actions between the season 1 prologue and season 3 prologue just FILLS me with pride. they place her in the same situation to show the ways in which she has grown as a detective to learn to see beyond one-off crimes and i LOVE the parallel! i love that she gets to have her ideas about justice challenged and learns how to see the bigger picture of public safety’s goals and why they need to learn how to focus on the primary objective of preventing crime (rather than taking action after the crime has happened). hlitf is one of those games where the development of the mc in both work and love is so clear and well written, and i like that we get to see her fail (a LOT) but also succeed in her training at the academy. and then when she finally graduates and we see her as a full fledged detective in season 3, we really get to see the results of her training and we get to see her shine. that’s one of the reasons why i love s3 so much bc we get to see her put her training to use and we really get to see how much she’s grown, even from the s2 adversaries days. actually, even in soma’s graduation epilogue, she’s already kicking ass and taking names, and her skills make soma basically horny for her (when is he not, though). 

BASICALLY this is just my v longwinded way of saying that i agree that sometimes her errors are sooo frustrating but i also think that (1) there’s something adorable about her strong sense of justice and (2) her early failures only serve to make her shine MORE in season 2 and beyond~ 

EDIT: i also don’t mind that in the first season and a half she gets helped out by the instructors ‘cause that’s what they’re there to do and also it helps to showcase their individual style :D 

in s3, there’s one moment in goto’s battlefield where she’s investigating with tsugaru and momose and some thugs attack them, and even tho tsugaru doesn’t give specific instructions, momo and detective mc take out a whole bunch of thugs and she works with momo’s cue to knock someone out even tho he just yells her name (to indicate that there’s a guy about to attack from her blind spot). momo is even impressed, saying that he didn’t expect that from her. she even gets praised by ishigami for the way that she’s managed to fit into the tsugaru-momo dynamic, since they’re notorious for being able to communicate without words. 

 season 3 plot spoilers ahead:

something i also love about it is that we also get to see her lie? like the fact that she goes undercover and has to lie to a new friend she’s made who is also the little sister of goto’s dead ex is something that season 1 hlitf mc could never do without messing up (bc of her mOrAlS), but now she’s really got that public safety mindset. and we really get to see her independent investigation skills SHINE in soma’s battlefield. she basically plans out and orchestrates the entire investigation to take down iroi by herself and gets praised by EVERYONE for it. i think it’s so significant that (1) momo even defies tsugaru (?!?!) to defend her when she insists on continuing to work on the investigation independently, (2) tsugaru allows and trusts her to do it, (3) momose acts as backup for her and follows all her plans even though he’s her senpai. it’s the same with ishigami’s battlefield where even when she’s absolutely brokenhearted, she channels that into being a great detective and interrogator. i think that was the first time i ever saw hlitf mc do an interrogation and while i didn’t quite buy that mitch would crack that easily, it was really satisfying to see her succeed so easily in an activity that she undoubtedly failed at so many times during training. 

even in ayumu’s battlefield, the issue isn’t that she’s incapable but rather than she’s not utilised to her full capacity (which is something that frustrates ayumu to no end bc he knows exactly how smart and capable she is, esp with data collection and hacking - thanks to him - but her skills are just not being allowed to shine... thanks tsugaru...). i was a little frustrated at the mistake she makes in the hospital but then tsugaru never told her his plan. not that that excuses her mistake though, since i think she should know by now to trust her captain’s plan, but i’ve previously explained in my ayumu battlefield review that she acts like this bc ayumu’s plans have always catered to her way of doing things where obviously tsugaru doesn’t do this. 

anyway yeah longwinded way of saying that i do find it frustrating too when she’s being shortsighted and noob, BUT in the long run, i find that this only serves to make her shine even brighter as the seasons go by! 

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire 3

I'm not sure this game is as great as I remember. But while recently researching top PS1 RPGs, BoF3 was near the top. Ah-well, I think I'm nearing the end...

Last we left off, Nina just arrested the criminal Mayor while Rei was hunting for revenge.

Realizing the Mayor's connection to Syn City, we headed over there to arrest the boss only to find everyone dead or dying. We're told a giant Tiger (Rei) attacked and the boss has fled. Tracking the boss, we find Rei confronting the man, demanding revenge for Teepo's death. Ryu and Nina just want to arrest him. Rei, dissatisfied, attempts a killing blow. But the boss, wounded, turns into a monster (because this is a JRPG).

After we succeed, Rei seems a little down on how weak his tiger power is compared to Ryu and others. But he finds kinship in Ryu's dragon abilities and wants to join the crew to meet God and ask "what's up?"

Nina says there's a problem, her father the King doesn't like Ryu--thinking Ryu was responsible for the big messes that happened when they were children. Nina suggests we do a good deed to clear his name. There's trouble at the old plant.

We find Momo as she tries to keep the plant producing super-crops, but there's issues. Palet, the mad scientist that betrayed us before, is missing. In the game's "Resident Evil Mission" we wander the plant to find Palet is trying to use Chrysm and mad-science to bring his wife back to life. Momo's father invented the tech, trying to do much the same. But we tell Palet this is bad. We defeat him and unhook his wife from life support.

Damn.

We return to the king, but Nina asks Ryu to sit it out. Asking Rei in instead. She presents Rei to the king and queen as her savior and a bad-ass dude. But then they recognize him. The Jig is up and Rei and Nina flee.

Back to Angel Tower--but God does not appear. Garr is sad. We talk to the Urkan chief and are guided to another surviving Guardian who has recanted their oath.

Finding this guy, he insists on testing Ryu. Turns out he lost faith in the cause against the Brood before the war was over. We also learn that Deis--a powerful snake-lady--is being held captive at Angel tower. This guardian's death frees her, and he willingly allows his defeat.

We return to Deis and she punches Garr in the stomach for being a dragon slaying asshat, then asks us to meet her later. We do and get a flashback with her fussing at Guardians.

I can't remember the details, but the God that ordered Guardians to kill The Brood (dragons) is her sister. She says our answers lie across the sea.

Return to Rhapala to find our ship-friends, but the boat is missing again. We needed that! We travel to Junk town to find the ship needs repairs. Momo offers to do it, but needs parts. We go to Steel Beach to collect parts that continuously wash up on shore here.

No one knows where these parts come from, or how to make them. But they've been able to build some half-ass machines from them. There's an annoying mini-game here where you have to help someone haul in something big by following flag raising. Turns out to be a monster fish.

I struggled finding the parts. Firstly, they're pretty well hidden, and secondly, some were on the beach. Oh, and thirdly, you can't know whether you found the right ones without returning to Junk town...time consuming.

Parts collected, ship repaired, we sail back to Rhapala and are nearly rammed by "The Black Ship". The Black Ship was one of my favorite sequences as a kid, so I was excited to play it. But that's in the future...

Zig, who was once an antagonist, now wants to be a helpful ship captain and offers to sail use across the sea. But no one has ever left the bay. We try. We fail. There's rumor of a Legendary Mariner that sailed from across the sea. Supposedly, the mayor of some town knows about him. When we get there, it's a fishing town and he hates fish...

This is where I gave up a few years ago. It's one of those annoying JRPG fetch quests where you've gotta do a bunch of innocuous quests to scavenge a few items, and it's like--I just want to learn the secrets of the universe--THIS ISN'T FUN!

Goofing around with cheats, I gave myself every item in the game. So I didn't have to do this quest: HAH! But I still had to cook. Luckily they give you clear instructions. He likes the food and gives us a chart. I'm not sure the chart does anything but unlock an island. I still had to look up a guide to find it...

...

So the game, in the second half...or middle third...starts to lose some steam. You end up retreading a lot of ground. While it does tie up a few loose ends, it's a lot of busy work.

I think the problem is that the game gets to the "BIG" question too early. I mean, you start the game as a dragon. Dragons are supposed to be extinct. No one understands your power. So of course, the BIG question of "What's this dragon business about" is there. But it doesn't truly become a primary concern until Garr joins the party. At that point he says, "Lets head east to learn more about you". But heading east has a ton of road bumps. And instead of answers, you get a: "It's my life's goal to kill dragons: die!"

Nice twist, for sure, but when Garr and Ryu reunite, the primary question is set: "Why did God tell Guardians to kill the dragons?" And then it's just a bunch of bullshit!

Take Fellowship of the Ring. There's a lot of bullshit: dark riders, hobbit eating trees, mid-night attacks, horse chases through the woods, perilous mountain peaks, dangerous mines, a fire demon, dubious wood elves, corrupted allies, and orcs. But, even though the adventurers are constantly running into obstacles, they are always moving the ring closer to Mt. Doom one yard at a time.

Breath of Fire 3, on the other hand, is rarely gaining yardage, and very often losing yardage. It's a oppressively unrewarding experience. I mean, as a child you help train a weak guy to fight a strong guy over several "nights", wander a monster infested lighthouse, and then battle a trash talking dolphin all in hopes of getting a ship and they're just like: Nahhh.

It's much different than something like Elder Scrolls where you have a sort of "home base" and must travel around the world for tasks and clues.

Been trying to think of a better way to approach this...

Maybe Garr doesn't find adult Ryu cause he wants to confront God. Maybe he wants to apologize. As they leave, they learn about the Tiger (Rei). This leads them to McNeil--get Nina, and all that. Now it's time for Ryu to prove to the king he's worthy of a pardon. Missions include: Resolving the Plant Crisis, Fixing the boat, Stopping/Docking the black ship, and a few other tasks. All in the name of clearing Ryu and Rei's criminal record.

All the while, they're learning more clues about the Brood and the past. Garr admits that he's never spoken to God and doesn't know how. He's only goal is to make amends to Ryu as a servant/companion.

One of their quests leads them to the old guardian, which leads them to Deis, and that's when they first hear that God lives across the sea. Now, instead of a million distractions, we have a clear goal to hop on the black ship and sail across the ocean--which we do.

Now, all those mundane quests that prevented progress become a part of progress--because it's helping clear Ryu's name. AND, we don't set the final goal (meet God) until we're truly cleared to chase it.

[honorhearted]

“‘Whoever wants to become great must lower himself to be a servant,’” Bradford quoted, “‘Leaders realize that serving others is the only way to lead with a pure heart, free of pride and arrogance.’ You’re a preacher’s boy, aren’t you, Tallmadge? Surely you understand the importance of putting more expectation and judgment upon those that choose to lead.” 

"I do," Benjamin coolly agreed, "which is why my judgments are fixed squarely upon yours. If you think yourself immune to the ranks of leadership, then you're wrong." His upper lip curled back into a sneer. "Sir."

Naturally, Bradford remained immovable. “And how are we supposed to work together when our General shuts himself away more often than not? He’s become more of a myth than a man around his own damned camp! A coward’s tactic!” 

"What's cowardly is not requesting an audience with His Excellency," Benjamin bit back. "Instead of asking the man, you stand here and denounce his name, and without his knowledge. Who's the coward now, you snake? Not allowing a man the chance to defend himself is the epitome of lowliness."

“Perhaps you cling so tightly to our commanding officer because he’s the one who allowed your unearned promotion. You should have been court-martialed, not given a higher rank. Then again, I suppose any superior would give out favorite positions to the sniveling arse kissers that regularly get them off beneath the desk.”

"You out-rank me," Benjamin seethed, "so I hope you include yourself in that list of kneeling sycophants! You don't know my worth to this army -- you don't know of my background, and God willing, you never will. I don't owe you an explanation for anything I do in this camp!"

Finally, Bradford seemed to lose his composure. “As if anyone knew or will ever care to know who Benjamin fecking Tallmadge was, you pompous arsehole!” he snarled. “You’re a self-serving brown noser, a damned glory hound!” 

"Unlike you, it isn't my goal to be known!" Benjamin hissed. "I am fighting for my friends, my family, and there will be hell to pay if low-bellied arseholes such as yourself stand in the way of our freedom!"

“This isn’t even about beating the British anymore," Bradford darkly denied. "That ship sailed when we got our arses handed to us back in New York. Now some want this war to end and then others want it to end in their favor.” He leaned in uncomfortably close. “So which side of it are you on? Are you for your men or for yourself and your childish ideals?”

"My men," Benjamin bit back. "If I weren't, do you truly think I'd be here putting up with your half-cocked conjecture? I want us to succeed, Bradford. I want us to win. I was hoping it would be with your help, but if you're just going to continuously stand there bloviating like some stubborn ass, I can at the very least wash my hands of this moment because I tried."

"And what do you expect him to do?" Benjamin countered. "He is a man, not God -- it is impossible to fight a war without sacrifice. And as tragic and loathsome as it is, we all knew what we signed up for whenever we joined this fight." 

“‘Whoever wants to become great must lower himself to be a servant,’” Bradford quoted, “‘Leaders realize that serving others is the only way to lead with a pure heart, free of pride and arrogance.’ You’re a preacher’s boy, aren’t you, Tallmadge? Surely you understand the importance of putting more expectation and judgment upon those that choose to lead.” 

Benjamin merely shook his head, “We'll continue to drop by the dozens unless we work together, Bradford -- surely even a stubborn arse such as yourself can see that?"

“And how are we supposed to work together when our General shuts himself away more often than not? He’s become more of a myth than a man around his own damned camp! A coward’s tactic!” 

"Our commander is not a coward," Benjamin seethed, "Perhaps you would actually know that, were you not constantly sucking from the teat of ignorance!"

“The only one of us sucking from the teat of ignorance is you, Major. Perhaps you cling so tightly to our commanding officer because he’s the one who allowed your unearned promotion. You should have been court-martialed, not given a higher rank. Then again, I suppose any superior would give out favorite positions to the sniveling arse kissers that regularly get them off beneath the desk.”

Tallmadge looked as though he desperately wanted to hit him, and Bradford wished he would try. He was tired of sitting around like a damned duck on the water waiting to be belly-upped by a shot to the head. 

"How do I know you haven't done some cavorting, Bradford?" he hissed. "Seeing how your man is so eager with his whorepipe, perhaps you're merely slandering my name to cover up your own ascension of the ranks. No one even knew your name prior to two months ago." 

“As if anyone knew or will ever care to know who Benjamin fecking Tallmadge was, you pompous arsehole!” Bradford spat back, “You’re a self-serving brown noser, a damned glory hound!” 

"Everything I've achieved I've earned,” Tallmadge continued, “ I'm not in this for fame nor glory, nor the spoils of war. Perhaps if you pulled your head out of your own arse, you could finally see that Washington and I are not your enemies. The only one bringing about unnecessary internal conflict is you."

“This isn’t even about beating the British anymore. That ship sailed when we got our arses handed to us back in New York. Now some want this war to end and then others want it to end in their favor.”

Bradford leaned in from across the table until his enemy’s breath was hot on his face.  “So which side of it are you on? Are you for your men or for yourself and your childish ideals?”