#haha i really need to reach out to my high school friends more. i'm so bad at keeping social just through the internet

[joonsytip]

Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong

Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism

Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3

[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]

Unknown Number:

[3:05 AM] Hey!

It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)

What do you think?

You:

[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???

You got the wrong number!

Unknown Number:

[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.

You gave me your number at the party :(

[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.

Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!

The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.

"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.

8 AM. The time glares back at you.

You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.

Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.

Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.

Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.

Hyerin Calling....

You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.

"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.

"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.

You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.

As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.

And you're left alone.

And you're used to it.

The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.

You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.

Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.

"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.

"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.

"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."

He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.

"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.

Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.

Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.

He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.

Joshua:

[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.

Stranger:

[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.

Joshua:

A heavy sleeper it seems lol.

Stranger:

[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.

Joshua:

[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.

Stranger:

[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(

"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.

"I am.", he responds right away.

"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.

"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.

"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.

"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.

Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."

"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.

"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.

"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."

Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"

"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.

And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."

A series of groans are heard.

You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.

It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.

Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.

Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.

With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.

Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.

Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.

You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.

Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.

"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.

You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.

"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."

"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.

Sundays are no more Fundays.

Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.

And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.

Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.

"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.

"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.

"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."

"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."

"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.

"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"

You shake your head and take out your phone.

You:

[9 PM] You there?

Unknown Number :

[9:01 PM] Hey!

Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.

[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.

Do you like parties?

Unknown Number:

[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.

What about you?

You:

[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.

I'm that miserable wallflower :(

Unknown Number:

[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.

You :

[9:09 PM] Maybe....

Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.

There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.

"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.

"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.

Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"

"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"

Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.

"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.

A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."

"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.

"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."

"Tried talking to your mom about this?"

"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.

"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.

"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."

Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.

Pouring out is always better than bottling in.

Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."

Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.

If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.

It's Joshua.

It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.

It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.

Mingyu is perceptive.

Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.

"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."

"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."

Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.

Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.

"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."

"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.

"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."

As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.

The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.

"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.

Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.

"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.

You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"

"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.

Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.

"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.

You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."

He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.

Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.

Unknown Number:

[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ

You:

[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.

There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.

Unknown Number:

[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.

You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.

Unknown Number:

[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.

You:

[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Unknown Number:

[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...

Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.

"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.

He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."

You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."

"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.

You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.

"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.

Joshua sees red.

He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.

You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.

Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.

"Don't you think he's handsome?"

Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.

"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.

"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.

You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."

Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."

You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."

"As if I'd listen to you."

"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."

Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.

You sigh in relief and take out your phone.

You:

[4 PM] Whatcha doing'

Unknown Number:

[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...

You:

[4:02 PM] Lol why?

Unknown Number:

[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.

You:

[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.

Unknown Number:

What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.

You:

[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.

I feel like no one understands me as well.

Unknown Number:

We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.

So may I know your name?

You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.

You:

[4:08 PM] I have an idea.

We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.

We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.

What say?

Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.

Joshua:

[4:10 PM] Let's that do.

Anonymous, saved.

Anonymous :

[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)

Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.

He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.

"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"

He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.

He remembers the day he lost his father.

He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.

He remembers --

"Hey, are you okay?"

Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.

He simply nods and faces the wall.

"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."

"Do you have spare clothes?"

Joshua turns to face you and nods.

"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.

"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"

"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."

Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.

You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.

Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.

Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.

"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"

He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.

You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.

He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.

"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."

You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.

Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.

Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"

"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.

"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."

The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.

"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"

You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.

Must be his friends from previous school, you think.

"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.

You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.

With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.

A smile creeps upon your face.

Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.

And you freeze.

Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.

You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.

"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.

"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.

You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."

Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"

"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."

Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.

"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."

You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."

"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.

"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.

"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."

Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."

Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."

Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.

Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."

Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."

"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."

Mingyu and Seji loose the match.

While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.

"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"

Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.

"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."

Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.

He finds you.

"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.

"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."

"Go ahead."

Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"

"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.

"Is she single?"

The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.

"Why do you wanna know that?"

Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."

"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.

"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."

"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.

Joshua quietly cowers away.

"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."

"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."

Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.

Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.

Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.

"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"

Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."

"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."

"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."

"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.

"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.

"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."

"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."

"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."

You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.

But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.

"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"

Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."

"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.

"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"

That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."

"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."

"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.

"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."

Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."

Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.

"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."

"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."

Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--

"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.

He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."

"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."

Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.

"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."

Mingyu grins from ear to ear.

"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.

"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.

You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.

You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.

The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.

"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"

You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.

"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"

"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.

Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.

"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."

"Y/N--"

"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."

"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"

You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.

Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.

And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.

Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.

"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.

"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.

"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.

You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"

Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.

"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"

He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.

And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.

He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.

But your rummaging through your bag.

"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.

"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."

"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"

"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."

Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.

"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."

You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.

"How did you manage to get all these?"

"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."

Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."

"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.

"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."

Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.

You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.

Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.

Hyerin calling ...

Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.

"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."

"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"

What does she mean by that, you thought.

It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.

"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."

Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.

You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.

When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.

It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.

Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.

Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.

Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.

"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.

He's enchanted.

Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.

"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.

With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.

He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.

"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.

"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"

Joshua doesn't step back.

So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.

But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.

You think he has kissable lips.

Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.

You think his cologne smells nice.

He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.

You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.

He thinks you have kissable lips.

So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.

He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.

He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.

You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.

He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.

"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."

You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.

It's awkward and suffocating.

You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.

"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.

You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.

"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."

You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.

But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"

Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.

You and Joshua are left behind.

Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.

"Do you want to go there?"

Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.

"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."

"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."

Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.

"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.

"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.

You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."

You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.

When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.

You gulp nervously and look away.

When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.

Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.

You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.

No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.

You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.

Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.

But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.

You:

[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.

Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.

"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."

You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.

"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.

"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.

"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.

Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.

You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.

You think he's startled because he's clueless.

He is startled because of the proximity between you both.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."

"Wait what?"

"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."

Joshua blinks.

You wait.

Joshua is still confused.

"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.

"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."

"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."

Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.

"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.

Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.

Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.

"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.

"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.

Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."

Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.

That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.

Anonymous:

[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

Joshua:

[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.

Do you like someone?

Anonymous:

[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???

I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.

Joshua:

[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?

Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.

Anonymous:

[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?

We're really in same boat lol.

Hope we can sort it out.

Joshua:

[10:50 PM] Touché.

Detention classes are going to end today.

You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.

"You're amazing you know."

A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.

"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.

"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."

Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.

Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.

Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.

You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.

"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.

Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.

You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.

"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."

Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."

You sigh in relief.

Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"

You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.

"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"

Joshua agrees in a beat.

Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.

"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."

You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.

You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.

And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.

"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.

"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"

"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."

Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"

Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.

"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."

"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"

You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.

"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."

Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"

You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.

"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."

Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.

Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.

"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."

Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.

"Tell me about you, Josh."

Joshua finds you staring at back him.

He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."

You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.

"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."

Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.

But you only caress his back.

"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."

He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.

"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."

"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."

Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.

"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."

What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.

Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."

"I'll try.", you smile at him.

"I'll try as well." he echoes you.

When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.

Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,

"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"

Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.

When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.

Joshua.exe has stopped working.

It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.

Next time definitely, he promises to himself.

You:

[6:30 PM] shared a playlist

Anonymous:

[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.

You:

[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.

Anonymous:

[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.

"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.

When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"

"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.

You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.

"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"

"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"

You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."

"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."

"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."

"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."

You blink at her owlishly.

"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.

"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."

"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."

"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"

"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."

"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."

"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."

"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.

You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.

You:

[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?

Anonymous:

[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?

You:

[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....

Anonymous:

[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.

You:

[7:33 PM]

Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?

Anonymous:

[7:33 PM] Fine by me.

How are we going to recognise each other lol?

You:

[7:34 PM]

I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.

Anonymous:

[7:35 PM]

I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.

You:

[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!

Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.

He hijacks you.

"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."

Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."

"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."

Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.

Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.

You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.

As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.

"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"

Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.

"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."

Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."

Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.

You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.

"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.

"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.

You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.

"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.

Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.

"Looking for Y/N?"

He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.

Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.

"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.

Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.

Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.

"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.

She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."

"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.

She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"

Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.

"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."

Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.

"I assume you already know about her safe place."

Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."

"What do you mean by always?"

"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.

Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.

"Let me take you where she is now."

That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.

His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.

You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.

When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.

He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.

He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.

He realises that he likes you.

He likes you a lot.

"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"

Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.

He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.

Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.

Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.

You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.

You:

[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.

Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)

You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.

Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.

Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.

To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.

He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.

Joshua pushes the door, walking in.

All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.

Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.

You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.

You:

[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??

Are you stuck somewhere?

It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.

You:

[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?

Did something happen? Are you okay?

Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...

The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.

You are worried. You are exhausted.

Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.

Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.

No messages.

You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.

To get Joshua's number.

Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.

Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.

But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.

A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.

He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.

"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."

Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.

Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.

"Josh--"

"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.

You are confused and you are worried.

If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.

If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.

If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.

"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."

Next day you bump into him in the hallway.

"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.

Joshua is stoic and you notice it.

"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.

"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.

"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."

You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"

"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"

Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.

But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.

"I just want to get your number."

There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.

A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.

"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."

"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.

"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.

You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.

Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.

Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.

Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.

"Mrs. Hong?"

"Y/N?"

You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"

"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"

"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."

"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.

"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.

"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."

You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.

"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."

You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."

Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.

"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.

"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.

"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."

You and Hyerin grimace at his words.

"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.

Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.

"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."

You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.

"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.

Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."

"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."

"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.

"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."

"Keep us posted Y/N."

You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.

Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.

Nothing seems to work out for you.

You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.

You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.

Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.

Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.

Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?

Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.

You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.

Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!

"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.

You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.

Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."

Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.

"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."

As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.

Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.

Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.

You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.

You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.

"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."

You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.

You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.

"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.

Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.

"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."

Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"

"I'm not lying --"

"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.

"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.

"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"

"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."

"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.

"Do what?"

"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"

You freeze on hearing that name.

"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"

"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."

You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.

"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."

Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.

You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."

You only say that much before walking past him.

The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.

"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.

"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"

"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."

"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"

"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"

"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.

"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"

Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.

"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."

"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."

Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.

A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.

Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.

Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.

Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.

He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.

But words once said cannot be taken back.

Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.

His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.

"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"

He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.

A Jack of Fools.

You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.

You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.

"What happened?"

He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.

"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."

Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.

On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.

That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.

You don't notice Joshua.

"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.

Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."

You nod and wait for him to continue.

"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."

"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."

"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."

"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.

Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.

Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."

You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.

"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"

Joshua freezes.

Then he hears a sob.

"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."

You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."

Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.

Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."

"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."

Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.

"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.

But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."

Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."

"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."

Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.

But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.

Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.

"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"

Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.

"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."

Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.

"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"

Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.

It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.

"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.

Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.

Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."

Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"

"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."

Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.

"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."

"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.

"Who?", Joshua quips up.

"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."

"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.

Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.

He just wants to see you.

You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.

In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.

Joshua hopes he get paired with you.

You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.

"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."

You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.

Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.

When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.

You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.

You don't even spare him a glance.

Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"

"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."

"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"

"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."

You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."

Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.

You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."

Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.

"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."

Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.

Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.

"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."

Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.

"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."

Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."

Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.

The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."

Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.

"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"

"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."

Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.

"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"

Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.

"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.

"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.

Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.

Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.

"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"

"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."

"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."

Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.

Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.

She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.

Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."

"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."

She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."

The door slams and Joshua breathes out.

"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.

"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."

"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."

"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."

Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-

Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.

From, Your Anonymous

You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.

From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.

Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.

You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.

From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.

Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.

One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.

Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."

You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.

"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."

Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."

"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"

"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."

It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.

Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.

Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.

"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.

Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[witchinatree]

magnus protocol episode 26 ramble

the academic victim era continues. i like putting my lil personal bits at the beginning of these i think it humanizes me

ok. i have to pause mid intro song. i just hit my bowl of snap pea crisps and spilled them everywhere and i'm going to tweak

3 of them fell on the floor.. but they're kinda expensive so we don't get to have them very often.. is it worth it..

i ate them i don't care

this has become more about me than the episode i'm gonna unpause it now

we're so back

celia at work core!! she dgaf!!!

MEET HELEN. pls don't be a tory in this universe pls pls pls pls. i didn't fw human helen at all i am less excited than i was about basira but also basira was one of my all time favs forever

hiii aliceeee <333

magnusing is so me tbh if you think about it

so does alice's voice have a slight hint of that effect they use for chester and norris to anyone else or.. like she sounds computer-y and i don't know if it's just the microphone or something real

"take protection" "jesus christ!" "LIKE A BIG KNIFE OR SOMETHING" CRYING. see my mind didn't go there sam so what's up with that sam huh sam

the hell does celia have in her workbag wtf. queen what. it's the trauma "are you sure that thing is legal?" LMFAOOOOOO

ok i don't like you saying nauseas because i'm on TWO medications that make me nauseas and i just ate pls don't be gross

DAMN. i was gonna be like JARED? HOPWORTH? but it's jared 'smith.' gerard jared is kind of like michael

P.E. teachers creep me out but probably because the only one my high school has ever officially had got fired my freshman year for spanking girls in the locker room and they never actually replaced him they just had various sports coaches take over

yea this is freaking me out already i don't like it

oh that's so sad the dad fucking died poor kid omg

wtf was he possessed by the soul of cross country. what is the horror here. ohh running for his life ok thanks

oh so the horror isn't mr jared it's what happens to him i guess. sorry man i shouldn't have called you creepy

this is just how my friends describe morning cross country practice

yeah so i was right to quit cross country in 5th grade then!!! running IS the horror!!!!

NOT THE TAPE RECORDER WTFFFFF IS THIS ERROR. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ARCHIVIST.............................................................................................................................................................................................

AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT A LOSS AT AT AT. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

we were right guyss it's an archivist...

IT SAID ARCHIVIST ALICE YES LOCK IN QUEEN LOCK IN SHE'S SOOOOOOOO HEHEHE SHE'S SO SMART I'M IN LOVE WITH U

yes alice connect those dots!!! connect them babe!!!!! i'm scared though to be honest with you

SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE KNOWS DUMBASS. PLEASE LISTEN TO HER OR I'M WRITING ANOTHER HATE POST ABOUT YOU. oh thank you sam i don't hate you

HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED HOW I WOULD'VE EXPECTED hey helen

has celia shut down. oh my god she sounds really scared. probably because helen tried to eat her in another universe.

CELIA'S SO SCARED HONEYYYYYYY. wait now she's bringing up the magnus institute LMAOO

bloody big basement lmao it's where they keep the bodies

at least 20 years? it burned down 20 years ago? who's reaching out after it burned what

HELEN'S LAUGH MADE ME JUMP LMFAOOOOO HELP

SAM MEETING JACK???? SAM MEETING JACK??????? THEY'RE SO CUTE WTF OMG ur baby's a tory HAHA

celia you are being watched honeyyy you are you need to connect some dots. alice style. obsessed with her.

calling her baby goblin after that baby episode that celia was mentioned by name in hello. hello.

ok sam let's go no longer being as selfish thanks sam.

awe that's adorable i actually think he's been really nice lately holy shit.

LMAOOO WHY DID WE GET AN AUDIBLE KISS ON EPISODE 26 I THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T LIKE THOSE

[aesopsharpmybeloved]

PS, I love you

Love letters begin appearing in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Sharp never send his own. He doesn't have to.

The night between Aesop seeing Sebastian's letter and Reader's gentle rejection in the morning, is the night his leg is acting up and she holds him to her. This observation was brought to my knowledge by @tea-withjamandbread who I am convinced now is a genius with 200+ IQ

I'm fairly certain my next fic will be pwp

PS, I love you (4.2k words)

tw: suggestive themes (mentioned), slight angst, aesop sharp needs a hug, cheesy

"Oi, knock it off, Prewett!" Andrew Larson shouted once more, trying to reach a piece of parchment that was currently held in Leander Prewett's hand, high above his head and out of Andrew's reach entirely. "Haha, what's wrong, Larson? What's so bloody secret about this? Is it a recipe for a growing potion, so that you can finally be taller than a fifth year?" 

"You utter git, Prewett!" Andrew snarled and began reaching for his wand. He was promptly hit with a full body bind curse by the tall redhead. "Now let's see," said Leander with a mean glee in his voice and began reading.

The students who were currently in the Clocktower Courtyard with the two boys finally stopped pretending to mind their own business, when Andrew's bound body hit the ground, turning around to look at them fully. A few students rushed to Andrew's aid.

"Oh, oh! Listen to this everyone!" Leander began giggling and cleared his throat. 

"Finite," came a cast from your wand. Andrew's body relaxed, but he didn't sit up. He didn't even open his eyes. His face was taking on a deep red hue. 

"Dear Nerida," Leander read with a mocking, dramatic voice, "you are more beautiful than the moon reflecting on the dark waters of the Black lake, by which you so often sit-" "Shut up, Leander!" You shout at the Gryffindor, finally realising just what sort of letter it was, and why Andrew seemed to want the ground to swallow him whole.

"Come on, (F/N), don't be such a spoilsport, this is hilarious!" Replied Leander, before resuming reading the love letter aloud, "your smile shines brighter than the lacewing flies in the middle of the night, and your voice is like a heavenly sympho- Arghh!" A descendo hit Leander straight in the chest and his body made swift, hard contact with the ground. The impact pushed the breath out of his lungs, and left him coughing and gasping on the ground. Everyone looked around, searching for the person who fired the spell.

It was Nerida herself. She walked to Leander, still lying on the ground, angrily and snatched the letter out of his hand. "That'll teach you to snoop through someone else's correspondence!" She spit out before placing the letter into her robes. Andrew sat up in the meantime, his head hung low. You and a few students encouraged everyone else to get back to their knitting as Nerida slowly walked towards the Ravenclaw.

"Did you really mean all that, Andy?" She asked, a little shy smile on her face. Andrew looked up at her suddenly, cheeks still burning: "I-I… Y-yes, of c-course I did! I do!" Nerida smiled once more and fidgeted with her hands, looking away as a similar flush appeared on her cheeks: "then maybe we could… I don't know, we could go to Hogsmeade during the weekend?"

And so began a little era of love letters at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

—

Love letters began appearing all throughout Hogwarts. Sometimes they were anonymous, oftentimes they were not. Sometimes they led to new couples forming. There weren't just romantic letters, though. 

Many girls and a few boys also took to sending love letters to their friends. They'd be thankful for their friendship, and write out all the things they adored about them. Girls could often be seen hugging each other after reading the letters from their friends. Boys wouldn't really react the same way, but one could occasionally see them blushing when reading such a heartfelt note from their friend. Nobody was ridiculed anymore for putting their feelings on paper, not after Nerida and Andrew began going out following Andrew's letter’s reveal, looking as happy and in love as can be. 

There were letters sent to the staff as well, notes of respect, admiration, fondness. They were platonic, of course (save for a few anonymous letters Professor Garlick received), and generally well-received. Mirabel got so many, she soon didn't know what to do with them, while Abraham Ronen almost immediately sent them to his wife to see, full of pride and utmost joy. 

There was an unspoken rule to not send prank letters to the staff, and especially not to Black. He was blissfully unaware of the trend that began in his school, but if someone was to send him some untasteful anonymous prank, Merlin knows what he might do. Make a rule to check each and every letter and parcel? Maybe ban post altogether?

You were rather enjoying this situation. You wrote quite a few letters to your friends and received some in return. The first two were from Natty and Poppy, unsurprisingly, but more followed. There was a short but sweet letter from Ominis and a slightly longer letter from Amit. You made sure to hug both boys, rendering them flustered but very happy.

You also wrote letters to every staff member (except for the Headmaster). You added a phoenix feather to your letter to professor Howin, wrote the letter for professor Weasley along with Deek, the letter for Ronen was transfigured into a swarm of butterflies that would fly into his classroom and form into an envelope right before his eyes, and so on. You saved professor Sharp for last.

You stared at the blank piece of parchment for a long time. There were so many things you wanted to tell him, to let him know how you feel. How much you really adored him, how safe he made you feel, how much you longed to feel his hands on you, to get lost in his strong arms, to feel his lips on your own... But you just couldn't bring yourself to confess. Not yet, at least. Not when you weren't sure that he felt the same way. His rejection would tear at your heart, your soul, way more painfully than your longing did. What you wrote was:

‘Dear professor Sharp,

Thank you for everything. There were moments in my life during which I felt hopeless, and lost, and broken. And if you weren’t there for me, I most likely wouldn't be here today. I admire you greatly, and I hope you don’t mind me saying that I am very fond of you as well. It's an honour to be able to learn from you, and I cannot imagine how I'd fare without you here.

Yours truly,

(F/N) (L/N)’

Was it too obvious? Too straight forward? What if he thought it was a prank? Hopefully he wouldn't - he knew you were always honest with him. Well, almost always, seeing as you held yourself back from straight up admitting your love for him. 'Professor Sharp, I love you'. 'PS, I love you'. Instead you wrote: 'PS, looking forward to our next chat over tea.'

You  walked over to the Owlery, hoping the November air would clear your head and calm your nerves a bit. You attached the letter to Diana's leg, scratching the owl under her chin. "Bring this to professor Sharp," you said softly. The dark owl took off right away.

—

Aesop was of course aware of the little trend that broke loose in Hogwarts, but didn’t really care as long as it didn’t disturb his lessons. To his surprise, he too received a few letters of appreciation. Unlike Mirabel or Abraham, there weren’t many, but all of them seemed genuine. He wouldn’t admit it, but they did flatter him quite a bit.

After one of his lessons, however, a greater sooty owl flew into his classroom. His breath caught in his throat. “Hello, you,” he’d say in barely more than a whisper as the bird sat upon his desk elegantly, holding out her leg for him. She flies off again once he takes the letter attached to it, leaving a single feather behind on his desk. The door of his classroom closes shut following a flick of his wand. He had a free period now and should not be disturbed by anyone for the following two hours. 

He opened the letter and got to reading. His dark eyes softened as they glided over the words written in your elegant script, one of his hands coming up to support his chin. His heart hammered loud in his chest. Once he reached the letter’s end, his eyes went right back to the beginning. His letter was definitely different from the one Dinah received from you. It was no less respectful, but it felt more… heartfelt. Deeper, maybe? Perhaps he was reading too much into this. Maybe he was seeing things he wanted to see, things that weren’t actually there. 

Aesop sighed and put his face into his hands, staring at the letter on top of his desk. You were, well, friends. Considering your long conversations in his office, in his chambers, your mutual respect and understanding, you definitely stopped being simply ‘a teacher and his student’ some time ago. But were you even more than that? He couldn’t be sure, not absolutely. 

His thoughts were going a thousand miles per hour. He grabbed one of the blank rolls of parchment lying close by and opened it. Without thinking, he dipped his quill into ink and began writing.

‘Dear (F/N) Miss (L/N),

The moments I’ve spent in your company this last year and a half were some of the best of my entire life more enjoyable than I would have thought possible, and they became the highlight of my days. I am always more than glad to accept you over for tea and a talk, and I feel honoured to have your affection friendship. Whatever you do once you graduate in June, I hope you won’t be a stranger, and will visit your old potions master. That is, if  you wish time allows you to do so. You have grown into an accomplished, clever, beautiful young woman, and I wholeheartedly believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.’

He looked at the parchment with a heavy sigh. Even if he wrote the entire thing again, without the crossed out words, he still didn’t think he’d ever be able to send it…

‘You’ve no idea what you’re doing to me,’ he wrote next, his handwriting not nearly as neat as before. He was not going to send this letter anyway, so why bother. ‘ You’ve no idea what you make me feel, do you? I’m an old, crippled, ex-Auror potions master, but everytime I’m with you, I feel like a bloody teenager again. Merlin… it’s so despicable of me to want you this way, but when you’re with me, I… I almost feel like you return these sentiments. That you look at me the same way.

I feel so horribly shameful when I see you waltzing around the school in your uniform, but when we met in The Leaky Cauldron before the term started, for just those few hours I thought… I thought I actually had a chance. A chance to hold you in my embrace, to kiss your sweet lips, to feel your young body curl into my own. When you sat opposite of me, in that beautiful gown, looking like a dream come true, I wanted to pull you against me and never let go. I wanted to drag you off to one of the rooms and, just for a while, forget that I’m your professor and that you’re my student. To, just for a while, pretend that we’re nothing but a man and a woman, surrendering to their most basic emotions and desires.

Every time you look at me with those brilliant eyes of yours, I am in heaven, and I am in hell. Your gaze, it scorches me, it makes my guilt burn in my chest… And yet, at the same time, it sets my blood aflame. It makes me want to surrender to you entirely. It makes me imagine what must it be like to have your body in my arms, under my own, to be allowed to touch you, and-’ Oh, Merlin! Aesop was breathing heavily, a deep flush on his face. To his horror, he felt himself aroused in his trousers. He truly was a deplorable, depraved creature, wasn’t he?

It was foolish of him. What could he even offer you, other than an entirely too old, gruff ex-Auror with a lame leg? Other than his love, his heart. He put his head into his hands. He willed his excitement down, making a mental list of ingredients needed for a successfully brewed Felix Felicis potion. He crumpled the parchment into his overcoat pocket. It wasn’t a love letter. It wasn’t a letter at all, more like mad rambling of a foolish beast of a man. 

Maybe he could still salvage the first part, make something innocent and kind out of it. You deserved it. Your letter moved him, it was only fair he wrote something in return. He was going to, in the evening. For now, he just needed to calm down. The seventh years would be arriving for their NEWT class soon, and you’d be there with them. He had to keep a straight face, keep his treacherous mind out of the gutter, keep his heart from beating too fast or too loud.

An hour later, when you entered the classroom, professor Sharp was leaning against the edge of his desk, observing your classmates with a bored expression as they made their way to their potions stations. When your eyes connected, however, there was a little spark in them. You nodded at him with a smile, and, if you didn’t spend so much time around him, you might’ve missed the tiniest little twitch of his mouth in reply.

The class was frankly uneventful. Everyone, even the Weasley boy, were extra careful as they brewed their Essence of Insanity potions. Seems nobody was too keen on going actually mad during his class. He hobbled around the classroom, offering occasional critique and advice, a few words of praise even, once or twice. He had to admit, this years’ graduating students were quite capable. He stopped by your potion for a bit, looking over your shoulder as your hand stirred the cauldron’s contents elegantly. He hummed in quiet approval. 

When he moved over to the middle of the room, he wanted to at first reprimand Mr Sallow for having some clutter on his work station, but when he saw just what it was, his voice died in his throat. It was a piece of parchment and a quill, lying by his potion book, and your name was written on it in the Sallow boy’s scrawl. Pretending to be looking at the lad’s ingredient cutting technique, he read the first few lines.

‘Dear (F/N),

Sorry to be probably the last one to write to you, but it took me a while to think up what it actually was I wanted to say. You’re a good friend, and one of the most important people in my life, but I was kind of hoping that we could become more than just friends…’ Aesop couldn’t read any longer. He turned away with a huff and limped morosely over to his desk.

A feeling of horrible jealousy overtook him, and it took all of his willpower not to set Sallow’s letter ablaze, making a fool of himself in his own classroom. He had absolutely no right to feel this jealousy, he had no claim on you. And even if he did, it wouldn’t make him entitled to meddle into the private lives of his students. He was such a fool. That’s what hurt the worst, in fact, how foolish he was. 

You spent a lot of time with him, yes, but you also spent a lot of time with the Slytherin lad. You clearly cared about him, but did you care about him in the same way Sallow cared about you? It would make sense… It would make so much more sense for the two of you to be together, than you being with your gruff professor. His heart hurt terribly. He didn’t leave his chair until the end of class, accepting your bottled and marked potions on his desk wordlessly. When your kind eyes fell upon his own, when they asked him if he was alright, he wanted to give you an encouraging little smile. What formed on his face was a pained grimace.

When his last class ended, he made his way to his chambers, not even bothering to go to the Great Hall for supper. He fished out the parchment from within his pocket and read what he had written. Dear Merlin… He really was deplorable. He wanted to toss the blasted thing into his fireplace, only, as he pulled back his arm to throw, he found he quite… couldn’t. Though the words he wrote should never ever appear in front of your eyes, he had to admit that he meant every single one of them. He hasn’t said or written anything so… sincere for a long time. Many years, in fact. He couldn’t bring himself to destroy it. So instead, he simply crumpled up the parchment and tossed it somewhere to his left. Maybe he’d forget about it, and then destroy it some other time unknowingly. 

—

Professor Sharp went to breakfast early the next day, hoping to avoid as many students and colleagues as he could, his mood even worse than the previous day. However, when he saw what awaited him downstairs, in front of the large door leading to the Great Hall, it took everything within him not to throw himself over the railing of the stairs. 

There were you and the Sallow boy, both of you having arrived not too long ago, it seemed. He had absolutely no wish to pass the two of you on his way inside the Great Hall, so he just hid behind one of the pillars and leaned his back against it. If anyone was to see him like this, he could always say his leg was simply hurting too much and he needed to rest for a while. It wouldn’t have been exactly a lie, his leg really did hurt something horrible since yesterday.

It wasn’t his fault the two of you were talking so loud he could hear you almost perfectly.

“So… you read it then?” asked Sebastian, and Sharp could hear the anticipation in his words. There was a moment of silence. “I did,” came your voice now. Sharp hated himself for it, but he felt strangely happy, when he realised your voice was more sheepish and awkward, rather than pleased and excited. “I read it, and I spent half the night awake, trying to come up with an answer. Well, I realised that it’s probably better I tell you myself, in person.” 

Aesop’s eyes were closed, and he listened intently. “I’m sorry Seb, but I just… I don’t feel about you this way. You too are my friend, and you’re very important to me, but I just… I see you more like a brother than anything else.” Sharp could have cried. He did feel slightly bad for the young Slytherin, but he also couldn’t stop himself from releasing a quiet sigh of relief. By Salazar, he was one selfish bastard, wasn’t he.

“I-...” Sebastian said, “i-it’s alright. I understand.“ “Are you mad at me, Seb?” you asked, your voice worried. “No, I’m not. Of course I’m not. How could I be mad at you, it’s not your fault you don’t see me like… that. Just tell me… there isn’t a chance you’d ever… you know. Change your mind?” There was another moment of silence. “No, there’s not. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian Sallow heaved a sigh: “Alright. Well, at least I know that… “ he sniffed audibly. “I’m so sorry, Sebastian. Come here,” Aesop didn’t see you, but he could clearly imagine you pulling the taller boy into your embrace shortly. “Sorry. I’ll be alright, promise,” said Sebastian with a heavy voice, “let’s just go to breakfast, shall we? I don’t want to keep… just standing out here.” The potions master heard the ‘alone, with you.’ Sallow didn’t say. He knew best how difficult it was to be alone with you and not be able to love you. 

He stood there, leaning against the pillar, for a long time, even after your and Sallow’s footsteps disappeared behind the doors to the Great Hall. “Aesop? Are you alright, dear? Leg acting up again?” He opened his eyes to see Dinah Hecat standing a few metres away from him, looking concerned. “Morning,” he said with a wry grin, “it’s alright. It just… flared up for a while, but it’s fine now. Breakfast?”

—

Your lover excused himself for a while, leaving you alone in his chambers. You went to sit in one of the armchairs, waiting for his return, when you heard something make a crumpling sound underneath you. You stood up again, looking at the seat curiously. There was something peeking out from the tiny space between the cushion and the backrest. You carefully plucked the something out. It was a crumpled piece of parchment, maybe some sort of scrapped potion recipe? You unfurled it, intent on putting it away if it turned out to be some of Aesop’s private correspondence.

It was Aesop’s private correspondence indeed - addressed to you. It was a mess of scratched out words, and it seemed he stopped caring to make the text legible at some point, but it was definitely a letter for you.

You didn’t want to snoop, he surely must have had some reason to not send this to you but… but you couldn’t help it. It took only the first few words for you to realise exactly what it was. It was his reply to the love letter you sent him months ago. He never sent one.

You read with bated breath, observing the care he took not to accidentally reveal to you the extent of his feelings. Until he didn’t. Until he probably realised he was never going to send the letter. You felt your face growing hot as you read his words, his proclamations of love and desire, of his longing. Your heart swelled and pounded in your chest. 

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” came Aesop’s voice from the door of his chambers, so absolutely different from the one he used in his classroom. Your head snapped towards him, the deep blush on your cheeks clearly evident. His brown eyes looked at you curiously, before moving to the parchment in your hand. “I’m so sorry, Aesop,” you stood up immediately, your cheeks still burning, but now from embarrassment and guilt, “I know I shouldn’t have. It was partly behind the armchair cushion.” 

The potions master blinked slowly, before coming over to you, his eyes on the ground. “It’s alright,” he said, “it was addressed to you, after all, I just… didn’t know it was still there. I thought Deek might have perhaps thrown it out when he was cleaning my room.” You came over to stand before him. The two of you observed one another wordlessly for a while. “I’m sorry, darling, I do realise the letter is a bit-” “It’s beautiful,” you said quickly. Aesop didn’t expect to be interrupted the way he was, and it took him a second to realise what you just said. “What?” he replied eloquently. 

“The letter, it’s beautiful, Aesop. I’m sorry to have… read it the way I did, without your consent, but believe me when I say that it’s the most beautiful letter I’ve ever read…” “I-… thank you, I…” he still wasn’t quite looking at you. Your hands came up to touch his face, the stubble on his jaw leaving a prickling sensation on the skin of your palms. “I meant every word, you know,” he said in a voice so quiet, you almost didn’t hear him, “but I wasn’t sure if the words would be welcome… Even now...”

You clicked your tongue upon hearing his admission. “Such a clever man, and such silly thoughts…” you spoke gently, before standing up on your tiptoes. You captured his chapped lips with your own, softly at first, but your tongue soon teased at the seam of his mouth. He granted you entrance without a second of hesitation, his strong arms almost automatically going to curl around your waist and pull you impossibly close to his body. 

The kiss soon became intense, passionate, your tongues dancing sensually with each other. Your fingers were in his hair, and one of his hands was gripping your hip. Soft sounds were being muffled by your hungry mouths, and you were starting to feel seriously hot in your uniform. You were both breathing heavily once you finally parted, your faces flushed and your eyes darkened with excitement.

“Aesop,” you said breathlessly, “would you like to know what I actually wanted to write in my letter to you?” His eyelids were heavy, his eyes darker than a moonless night. They were smouldering, intense, like the mouth of a volcano, and you found yourself wanting to burn. “Tell me,” he said, his voice clouded by arousal. “Actually,” you chuckled breathily, “it’ll be better if I show you…”

Much later, when you were lying in each others’ embrace, exhausted and sated, you used your finger to write a few simple words on the bare skin of his back.

‘PS, I love you.’

Hello! I hope you enjoyed reading. You can check out this story and all of my other stories over on AO3. I'm always happy for kudos and comments!

[wuahae]

hey cat!! i've been good~ i binged all the chapters of the spyxfamily manga in a day and it was wonderful 😌 i would love to see hoshi + meeting for the first time in college! shy hoshi meeting strangers 🤭 hope you've been well too!! sending lots of love~ -prom anon

I LOVE SPY X FAMILY....i haven't read it in a really long time but i'm waiting for my animanga phase to come back before i catch up to it again haha

hoshi + meet cute

soonyoung thinks he's been sitting on this couch for an hour. or maybe it's only been half an hour. or... he knits his brows. to be honest, he really doesn't know. time passes strangely when he's drunk.

he knows a few things though—they've played at least three more rounds of beer pong since he first sat down on this couch, the cheap frozen pizza mingyu barely managed to make edible has started to taste less like cardboard the more drinks soonyoung's gotten in him, and he knows if he gets up to pee he might not make it out of that bathroom in one piece. or at all.

there's a loud cheer as joshua and vernon win another round of beer pong on the table behind him, a dip in the couch as someone sits next to him.

"hey, you okay?" a cold water bottle pressed to his cheek. a slow blink and turn of the head.

oh, here's another thing soonyoung is certain about. the person that just sat down next to him is really, really, really cute.

“uh.”

“soonyoung, right?”

"...uh huh."

"great!" you give him a cheery smile, handing him the water bottle. "jihoon said to give this to you. said you'd need it."

"thanks," soonyoung responds, just a little dumbly. you are just so cute. he can't feel his face.

“so you’re jun’s friend?” you ask, taking a chip from the big bag on the coffee table. “from college?”

soonyoung nods, sipping on the water. “we took psych 211 together freshman year.”

“the sex class?”

“yup!” as loose-lipped as he is, soonyoung is not about to admit he almost failed psych 211: diversity of human sexuality. “best easy A ever.”

“but i don’t think i’ve seen you here before?” soonyoung asks. he might be an absolute mess drunk, but he doesn’t think he could have missed you if you were at one of these parties earlier this year.

you nod enthusiastically. "i don't go here, actually!"

"oh really?"

"yeah!" your flannel slips a little from your shoulder as you reach for another chip. your knee brushes against his. soonyoung's pretty sure his mouth is gaping. "we're actually friends from high school," you explain, eyes bright and wide from what he hopes is the alcohol. he really hopes he isn't making a fool of himself to someone completely sober.

and under normal circumstances, soonyoung would ask for how long? does that mean you were friends with jihoon and wonwoo since high school too? not to mention the dirt he'd try to fish out of you regarding the three to use later.

but right now, soonyoung is still recovering from the three lost rounds of rage cage, his tongue can't seem to work right with the blur in his head and the ringing in his ears and fuck, he wants to make a cool first impression on you and maybe show off that he's a key part of the university dance team but all he can really think of is how he still really, really needs to pee.

"cool," he utters, more than a little dumbly this time.

your eyes crinkle as you laugh a little, leaning over. "you're cute, soonyoung. talk to me later when you're more sober, okay?"

soonyoung blinks. what?

someone—he thinks it's jun, that damn cockblock—calls your name and announces a declaration of war against the new reigning champions of beer pong.

"oh look at that," you tease lightly. "duty calls." nudging soonyoung before you get up, you gesture vaguely at him. "can i have a sip, by the way?"

soonyoung nods before he even follows your gaze to see what you're gesturing to, but before he realizes it, you take the water in his hands and screw open the cap, tipping back the bottle to drink.

"thanks! see you later!" you say cheerily, handing it back to him before turning around to join jun in defeating seungcheol and jeonghan (who is most definitely cheating).

and between the increasingly raucous noise of the new beer pong game starting up and the pounding in his head that threatens to send soonyoung into the bathroom to do more than just pee, he has a single, striking thought.

holy shit... soonyoung is definitely in love.

[purplesurveys]

1898

Do you ever wonder how Atheist people raise their kids? I do. There's admittedly some envy in there somewhere lol, but it's mostly intrigue about what the dynamics at home must be like. I live in an overwhelmingly Christian population where every single aspect of life is influenced by religion; so considering I've identified myself as atheist in a place where it's virtually nonexistent, it's something I find myself thinking about once in a while.

If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? Absolutely not. They can explore, ask questions, even pick a faith to go by if they want to; but I will not be the first one to tell them anything about gods.

How long does it usually take you to finish answering a survey? Usually anywhere from 40 minutes to one hour, depending on the length or how fast I can think of my answers.

Do you spell it gray or grey? Gray.

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title? I don't make them. I'm terrible at coming up with questions.

When are you going back to school? I don't need to; I graduated four years ago.

If you don’t go to school anymore, what do you do? I work in public relations; agency side.

Do you care about other people’s status messages? Like on Facebook? Sure. It's always nice to know what people are up to, the new places they've been traveling to or the life goals they've been reaching. The only theme I don't particularly like encountering are warfreak posts? like when they still subtweet (idk the equivalent term on Facebook haha). Come on sis we're in our mid 20s.

Do you like reading self help books? No.

What is your opinion on sex change? Your body, your choice. Glad to see there's been more opportunities to let this happen for those who need it.

Do you think that this will take away the essence of gay pride? ...What?

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke? I let it eat me up anywhere between 3 to 7 days, lol.

If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you? Not much, it's never mattered to me. I gave it up when I was 18 and never thought twice about it before or after.

If you have lost it already, do you regret it? No.

Do you believe in marriage? Why or why not? I believe in it, I don't believe it's a life requirement.

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends? Few close friends. The older I get, the more I enjoy my own company. That said I only let very few people in my circle now.

Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Summer's over, but I didn't set goals. I did travel abroad, which wasn't something I specifically set out to do but was still nice to have done.

Or do you plan on getting a summer job? Or do you already have one? I've had a job the last four years.

If so, where do you work and what do you do? I work in a PR agency, doing PR work for consumer brands. Some of them you definitely know about and consume; some of them more up-and-coming and aptly needing the help.

Do you watch the TV show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character? Never watched it.

And which generation do you prefer? Or do you equally love both?

Do you know someone who still typpe thiszz wayy? No.

Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)? I didn't do that. Where I'm from, a gap year is just for the super rich who have safety nets no matter what they do or pursue, so...ew. Most need to fight to live.

Do you feel tired after stretching? No, it feels nice.

Can you get a strike at bowling? Only on Wii Sports, haha.

Do you use Facebook? If so, what is your favorite application there? Yes, but apps stopped being trendy there yearsssss ago.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you? I fucking hate Twitter. I keep it to stay updated and to read translations for all BTS releases, but I stay the fuck out of any conversation. Everyone's always dragging, cancelling, bullying, shaming, discriminating someone else these days on there.

[versary]

how did you get started with weightlifting/cross fit? I’ve never been an athletic person, and I had an ED that I would say I’m physically recovered from completely and so so mentally lol but it seems sooo intimidating. I started running casually (like my goal is a 5k) and I do YouTube videos but with very very light weights like 5lbs. how do you get to where you are? it’s so inspiring!

hello friend!! i think you're doing a great job and i think that whatever movement you're doing now is fantastic! i do also always love hearing from people who want to get super strong haha

i truly just went to a trial class at the crossfit gym and told the coach i'd never ever stepped foot in a gym in my life, and they were so helpful and kind and showed me how to do everything. i started from the VERY bottom - i also was still pretty deep in an ED and was incredibly iron deficient. i had no stamina and no strength, and i had to scale literally everything back! i also truly didn't think that i was 'athletic' - in high school i didn't like any of the sports on offer because my eyesight is so bad i can't really play ball sports. i'm a good swimmer and i danced all through high school up until last year, but it turned out that i'm actually naturally really strong and powerful; i just had to find the sport that was right for me! plus you're looking at (nearly) 10 years of consistent training, too, so i won't tell you it's possible in like 8 weeks haha

as for getting started - if you think you have a pretty good grasp of movements and you don't mind going to a gym and training by yourself, then megsquats on instagram has a really good program called 'before the barbell' that is a really helpful guide to progress from bodyweight to dumbbells to barbells. i use her strength program 'stronger by the day' and it's a very good program to get strong and build muscle mass - i've been using it since 2019. i have other recs too, if you would like more options.

if you think that you'd like to try crossfit and that group class vibe, then i reckon reach out to a gym close by and just chat to them! in my experience (as an athlete but also as a crossfit coach haha), the majority of crossfit coaches are very kind and patient and understand that it's pretty overwhelming at first. they'll take you through some on boarding stuff and will make sure that you're moving well and safely, as well as feeling comfortable. i started with crossfit because i knew that i needed a coach around to make sure i was doing the right thing, plus it meant that i didn't have to worry about finding a program or anything; i just rocked up and they told me what the workout was and how i was going to scale it, and i just had to do it haha (plus you get the benefits of like a readymade group of friends)

super longwinded answer but i'm really passionate about this hehe. if you have any more questions or want to chat or anything, please reach out! i'm a very qualified strength and conditioning coach so if you want a non-scary person to talk to before starting anything, please feel free to get in touch! 🩷

[afewproblems]

🥳 👓 🎁 💭 👻

Thank you thank you my friend!!

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

So I started reading fanfic in high school, I had a friend group that comprised of about 7 or 8 self described nerds and we all tried our hand at it back then. The results were mixed, some were pretty good -mine were awful.

I started trying again for fun back in 2016 after Captain America: Civil War came out and I was curious how many fix-it fics there were for Stony. (A lot as it turns out) and then I got completely sucked into Marvel for a few years.

It's fun! It started as a fun hobby with my friends and honestly hasn't changed much beyond that haha!

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

I definitely need something on in the background, complete silence is too little stimulation for me to focus so having some nice instrumental music playing really helps. I like those Jazz Cafe streams with the background rain on YouTube lol, absolutely phenomenal for writing.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

I have the tiniest bit ever added to the post breakup Steddie Fix it written and probably my favorite joke ever:

Steve steps into the living room just off the kitchen, "Robin?" Bright sunlight streams through the curtainless windows bathing Robin in a warm yellow glow. She stands in the center, facing Steve, with a pensive expression, her eyes scanning the space around her. "Hush Dingus," she mutters, holding up her pointer finger to her lips, "I'm visualizing". "Ah, of course," he concedes with a fond smile as Robin walks towards him, slowly counting her steps. She lines her feet up as she moves, touching the toe of her right foot to the heel of her left. She wobbles slightly as she makes it to where Steve is standing. He reaches out to steady her with a laugh. "I told you the living room was more than ten feet!" "Robin, do you think that a 'foot' is literally your foot?"

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

Oh man, hmm, I think a lot of things! Movies, music -oo the amount of daydreaming I do to music when I walk the dog?? So many unwritten Steddie scenarios just from those walks. I'm also inspired by my fellow writers and their stories or artwork, I love seeing a jumping off point/prompt and running with it! This Fandom is filled with such creative people that it's hard not to be inspired by something or someone 😊

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

Hmmmm I don't know if I really have a wild one?? I love the idea of Steve secretly being able to sing or play instruments, because Joe Keery is so musical IRL, but that's not really that wild...or uncommon.

Maybe my wildest take is that I think they had Joseph Quinn do so much press with Jamie Campbell-Bower because the two will be working together for season 5 as Vecna and Kas.

That's right! I'm holding out secret hope that Eddie comes back! There! That's my wildest, most in denial, hot take.

Thanks again for the ask!!

[castlebyersafterdark]

I'm never gonna be in a situation where the person I'm sleeping with has that as a factor, if that's what you’re getting at. I did actually try to date a few girls when I was a teenager but, yikes. Never got very far hahaha. But it's not like women (and those who otherwise experience this) are so super mysterious. It's not secret knowledge. Moral of the story: I just know for a fact that many men are purposefully obtuse or immature. Sexism. All that. Simplifying the issue but for the purpose of this ask! 💁‍♂️

ok wow i'm gonna need some vintage vinny elaboration! this is sooo interesting

firstly - getting as personal as you wish or dont wish, can you elaborate on your teen experiences dating girls to give some context to mike?? any similarities aside from the superhero thing haha? or not, if we're speaking metaphorically. i mean, when s4 opened with mike boasting to dustin about how el 'literally saved the world twice', i was like... dude. that's literally guys just showing off their trophy girlfriend cos she's got big tits yet he doesnt know anything about who she is.

and secondly, men being purposefully obtuse and putting women on pedestals because of sexism? oh, if you have time pleaseeee elaborate on that too! sounds like you were amongst that perhaps before guys knew you were gay so they tried to get you to laugh along and you were just like... hahaha... ermmmm...

Oh gosh, not the vintage Vinny lore 🤣 High school me is so... I mean. We have to give our teenage selves some grace. We were all so young and stupid and naive and confused and it's not our fault! That's just life. And if you are still a teenager - stay strong, power through.

If you want context to explain Mike, my path wasn't quite similar, but I understand where he's coming from. Since this is the space I'm spending my time, just some anecdotes for comparison sake later. I think something to consider with Mike is that I really don't think he recognized his sexuality for what it is until we see him in season 4. This is the beginning stage of, hmm not acceptance because he's not accepting it, but recognition? Eddie. Not being able to tell El he loves her. His weird reaction to seeing Will again. Not being able to reach out to Will. Isolating himself through his off screen depression in between the seasons. He's going through it. Gay thoughts are one thing, behaviors we read as super gay as watchers of the show but for the character it's not apparent yet - the subconscious. Internalizing it. His journey is latent. But he's in it now. I think a part of him did want to have a girlfriend, he's supposed to want a girlfriend, and El - what a perfect girl to have by his side! He doesn't recognize Will for what he could be to him, even if his behavior can be read as a crush, esp in season 2. But he's young. He doesn't really know yet. Conformity and internalization are a hell of a beast. He's getting there. Tooth and nail.

Personal takes under the cut like always!!

Me? I wish I could explain how sexuality develops and how people know young while others don't. I cannot give that insight. When kids talked about crushes and stuff about girls, I knew I had to keep my damn mouth shut because I thought about boys. And I knew it was weird. I told myself, fine. Keep that secret. But you gotta think about girls, too. So I forced it. I never pursued a girl, but if some brave girl made it clear she liked me - yeah, I'd try it. Go on little dates. Kiss, make-out, but I just never really wanted more and I fucking knew why!! And kissing and making out were just really fun to do. But - I liked the company of girls. Girls are awesome!! But that was all.

It's brings it back to why I relate the most to Robin, which I've mentioned. I made a close friend in my junior year. She was so cool. If I was straight - I'd have wanted her to be my high school sweetheart. We were outsiders in our extended friend group because we hung out with the skater kids and stoners - but neither of us could skate! We were both such shit at it. So we stuck together. And she confessed a crush on me at one point. I couldn't break this girl's heart or pretend. So I came out to her. The only one who knew besides my sister. And she was sad but told me it made a lot of sense, which rocked me to hear, but we remained friends. Took her to prom actually. Senior year I ended up in a complicated fwb situation and I was in no way taking him to prom and I still feel like an asshole about it.

So. There's some lore!!! Being a teenager is so hard. Sexuality is a behemoth of confusion and the journey is winding. Give grace to your teenage self. What did any of us know? How do you navigate all that?

As for the "men being purposefully obtuse" comment - I remember now what I meant for it. It was less about the average man putting women on a pedestal and more about men being so purposefully backwards that the misogyny and sexism override any sense or logic. I meant like, how you read about some conservative senator making an inane comment about women's bodies, for example "if she didn't want to get pregnant she should have just controlled her body and not gotten pregnant" or that some guy said "why can't she just hold it and wait until later" about a woman having a period like a grown man saying that?! All the comments you see screenshot from idiot twitter threads. Come onnnn, men! I know how these things biologically work and I'm a cis gay man, why can't you straight men learn some basic facts about the people you want to date or just simply have sex with? I feel like a lot know, but they on purpose, refuse to portray themselves as anything but these ignorant brutes, hating women while desiring them. Do they really not know or is not knowing part of the image. "Can't let them know we understand women or else we can't keep on being dicks and saying it's impossible to understand women." Irritating!! Sorry for the rant hahaha

[loregoddess]

Hm, maybe my memory is poor but I swear that I've seen you reblog Tolkien stuff (or maybe I'm mistaking it and it's all Legend of Zelda posts?)

But there I was talking as if you'd read the books or watched the movies!

I watched the movies so long ago that I forgot a great deal of them and I'm determined to finish the books before I re-watch them so that I can experience the whole original story of LotR without the film giving away the parts I'm still reading.

You'll find out more about Boromir in the first book and the very beginning of the second book. As for Denethor, he appears in the first chapter of the third book (and he had me just a little bit salty, to put it mildly.) You'll also see the Fellowship in all three books!

I'll be honest and say the only reason I have time to read at all is downtime at work and really long wait times for public transit. And I've only just recently began branching out from reading only Discworld to other books that I either read in high school or heard about but didn't get a chance to read yet. I'm keeping track of my reading on an app called StoryGraph, which lets you record start and finish dates and get recommendations based on what you've already read!

I mostly just use it as a reading diary of sorts. But if I ever get through my to-read pile (good luck, it's long) I might see what it recommends me. But even still, I usually go by friends and family's suggestions for any books that I might be interested in.

Haha, no you're right, I have reblogged LotR stuff. I have basically no fear of spoilers, if only bc I have been spoiled on stuff in the past only to not realize it was a spoiler and still get surprised when I reach it in the story anyhow (and also I think the weird culture of "no spoilers" is silly anyhow, bc like, sometimes the fastest way to convince me to look into something is to show me major spoilers that baffle me so much I need to figure out how a story could function to accommodate what I know out of context with the new knowledge).

But no worries, I totally get where the confusion came from. I know just enough LotR from osmosis that I can kinda hold a conversation about it. Your excitement for the stories does get me excited as well, and I really am looking forward to reading them when I can make the time.

Also I feel you on having free time to read things. I think that's part of my issue, is a lack of free time (or energy), but at some point I also developed this weird environmental thing where I couldn't focus on reading if I could hear human voices or if there was too much background noise of a certain type? Which, given that I still live with my family and they are all very noisy (and also assume that they can just start talking to me whenever if I'm sitting in plain sight, which is more or less everywhere where I like to sit to read), makes it hard to actually find the sort of quiet I need to read when I do have the energy for reading.

I used to be a voracious reader too, I was basically always reading a book from middle school through high school, sometimes multiple books. And I used to be able to read in the middle of a school's worth of noise, so I have no idea why all the academic reading I had to do in college messed with my reading habits so much. It's not that I haven't read anything--I made it through Dracula all on my own a year before Dracula Daily happened, just because I was interested in it and wanted to read more classics. And I've made my way through about a third of the complete works of Lovecraft, which are easier for me bc they're all short stories more or less (though I keep stalling reading the next story bc I know it's one of the "almost a novella" length stories). And of course, The Hobbit.

A lot of my free time is limited though, especially since I'm very particular about how things need to be if I'm to do something (which is partly the house situation, partly my brain is my own worst enemy sometimes). I often have to choose between art, video games, writing, general decompressing (i.e. interwebs), or watching something, and usually video games or art/writing win out if I don't need to decompress, because I can deal with being interrupted or ignoring outside noise when playing a game better than I can reading, and no one bugs me when I'm working at my computer generally.

Which hmmm. Actually, I think that might actually have more to do with it than anything, because now that I'm thinking on it I have read a metric ton of manga over the past several years, which I usually use various websites for (and am therefore at my computer). Granted, that's a slightly different storytelling medium than a text-based book, but considering I can finish a completed manga series in roughly a two-week span, I don't think my issue is with focusing on reading so much as it is getting interrupted or having too much background noise...hmmm.....

Well this was an excellent conversation actually, I think I might have figured out part of the reason my brain wants to strike when I do try to read, and if I can get to the root then I can maybe figure out some sort of workaround to trick myself back into reading text-based books again. Which is great, because I have so many books in my to-read pile, and I do want to check out the Discworld books at some point (which I've never read, but they are also books that I just know from out-of-context things that I will love), and I really do miss reading as a leisure activity. So, thank you for prompting this discussion!

[lazzies123]

I Wish

Ah, it's happening again. God. I am so tired of pretending to be okay. In my writings here, I always tried to give good endings. How I wish this could make me feel better. This is so deceiving. God, after all this time, I am not okay.

Honestly, I do not really know what I want. I wish I could care about my family more. "My family is the reason why I'm holding on," I said to myself. The truth is, I wish my family could do more for me. Everything has been so disappointing. I am mad, but I know being mad is not going to help. God, I wish I were not so angry all the time.

A good friend once told me, "You used to be so cool to hang out with." That was in my third year of junior high school. At that time, I was not sure what changed, but now I know. I changed after my mom passed away. I remember my teacher and classmates came to my house to mourn my mother's death. I was only 14 back then. In front of my classmates, I did not cry. The teacher, however, I think she knew I was very sad that day. She tried to comfort me. I smiled at her and said, "Thank you. I am okay now." That was probably the first time I lied to myself. I lied and said I was okay. Deep inside, I was so hurt. My mom. She was the best family, parent, friend, and supporter in my life. No matter how dumb I was, she always supported me. After she was gone, I was so afraid. I was scared of this world. What should I do if someone hurt me? I used to tell my mom everything. She always gave me gentle smiles. Whenever she smiled, even though she did not say anything, it made me feel safe. I knew she would always be there when I messed something up. After she was gone, this world became a lonely place. I had to face the fact that I was alone. Ever since that day, I kept lying to myself.

Did you know? After experiencing something so painful, you could not tell the difference between happiness and sadness anymore. It wouldn't matter if you were happy or sad. You'd smile. You'd deceive yourself and try to laugh it off. You'd become someone nice, so nice that you wouldn't want to share your pain with anyone else. Even though it hurt, you'd say "Haha," and everyone would think you were alright. It's so tiring, isn't it? You just don't want anyone to know that you're not okay because you know no one is going to save you. No one is going to help you. The help you need, the someone you truly care about, is no longer here. She was gone. I guess this is what I am feeling right now. People cannot really tell whether I am happy or not, whether I am okay or not. This is so painful. If you feel the same way as I do, I guess we share the same pain. I guess that was why we could get along so well. We were both hurt. We were surrounded by friends, but none of them was the one we were looking for. I was looking for you, and you were looking for me. We were so lonely, but together, we forgot about all that. We became less lonely. We forgot all the painful things. With you, I was so happy.

Recently, I've been a bad liar. I actually do not know why I am doing this. These writings, I don't even know if this will last 10 years. The me from the future would probably find his happiness and forget what happened here. Isn't it sad? The thought of you being forgotten by yourself. It sounded more painful than being forgotten by someone who cared about you. That thought alone has made me scared. I guess I am not as strong as I thought I was.

God, after all this time. After what I've been through, I still cannot face the truth. Every night, I feel like screaming. This emptiness is so suffocating. I wish I could find something, someone genuine, to help me uncover my mask of lies. I am a miserable man, aren't I?

I know a good solution. I should try to reach out to my friends. However, what rights do I have? After so many times, I ditched my friends to catch butterflies. These butterflies, they kept flying away and never looked back. They did not even know I was right behind, trying to catch them.

I am a bad friend, aren't I? I wish I had treated my friends better. Perhaps, perhaps, I wouldn't be so lonely now. What do I get from catching butterflies? Nothing, and in the process, I've lost so many good friends.

God. Not too long ago, you met me with someone so perfect. We spent precious moments together. She accepted me for what I am. She listened to me. After getting to know her, my mind and my heart were set for her. Completely. I had regrets about ditching my friends, but for her, I'd do it over and over again. She was my everything.

However, she did not do the same thing, but I could understand. She did the right thing. She should not ditch her friends the way I did. If she wanted to spend time with her friends, she should do so. Again, this is another lie. I wish she could've spent time with me all the time. I wish to have her for myself. I am a terrible person, aren't I? I knew I was wrong. When I finally found someone so genuine, my ego was not ready. And once again, I messed it up.

God, she was truly my everything. She was my world. After learning the harsh truth, my world crumbled once again. I tried to convince myself that there must be a reason for this. I lied. The truth is, I love her so much. My heart, I am not ready to move on. God, she was the one I'd been looking for. With her, I forgot about painful things. Every time spent with her was happiness. I pushed her away so I could move on. It was also a lie. I did not want to move on. I love her so. She is so perfect. I wish things would work out between us.

God. I love her so. I love her so much.

[romanarose]

Hi!! I'm the person who left the message about chapter 4 of Seattle and I have so much I want to say!!

First of all, you are absolutely NOT useless. I think you'd be very dearly missed in fandom. You're great! Second, I am so so sorry to hear what you have been going through. As someone who struggles with depression I relate A LOT to what you described and I wish I could give you a hug. I have had that exact "crying in the car for 45 minutes" moment and honestly I respect you so much for going into Panda Express with tears in your eyes. That is a sign of strength, to do something even when it is difficult. I respect the hell out of you and I'm rooting for you really hard (I actually live in Seattle so just know there is someone over here cheering you on!!)

Speaking of, I finished Seattle yesterday and a big part of what I appreciated about it was exactly what you described - Rebecca is strong, but abuse can happen to anyone. Seeing her strength, her love, her hope was honestly so inspiring and motivating. Another thing I absolutely adored was her connection to her faith. You honoured that Marc has a complicated history with faith and his family in a beautiful way, and you allowed him and Rebecca not to be on the exact same page about it in such a respectful way. The traditions and the Hebrew you incorporated added so much character to the story and warmed my heart to read about. I have Jewish holiday notifications on my google calendar bc I want to honour my Jewish friend's faith and check in with her when important days are coming up, and Seattle actually taught me some new stuff and showed me there are so mamy things I should google so I can be a better friend to her, I dunno it was just a sweet added bonus for me in a fic that was already so great and meaningful.

Lastly!! I did not find $10 dollars on the street but I read your story Lucky which was even better!!! Again, as someone with depression that story REALLY hit home. This line in particular "...and then I started feeling fucking useless, and things just spiraled." I FEEL LIKE YOU READ MY MIND. Everything described is exactly how I have felt, exactly what I've gone through. And everything Will said in this fic is something I need to learn to tell myself. This story really tugged at my heartstrings, made me feel understood and seen and hopeful. Thank you so much for that. I know I will be coming back to it time and time again when I feel down and need a pick me up.

Hi!!!!!! Thank you for reaching out again! The panda express cured me

jk but after a huuuuuuuuuggggeeee cry and a lot of food i feel much better this week and im really really really hoping things are on the up now.

As for Seattle... your from seattle!!!!! I bet thats why it caught your eye lol. Sorry it wasn't actually about Seattle haha.

Rebecca's faith is something I really wanted to explore with her and Marc. IDK if you read any of the bonus endings, but in Cleaning Out My Closet, Marc is quite religious again. I wanted Rebecca to be a proud Jewish woman and explore her finding her practice again. She never left being Jewish, but it was pushed down due to Jack. So it was more finding that faith expression again, while Marc found his faith. Marc never stopped being Jewish, but he was fairly removed from it all.

Jack caught Rebecca in a vunerable moment, a moment she was no longer codependant with Marc and was probably still struggling with that idea of being on her own, even if she was still in contact with Marc. Also, she didn't date. Her entire high school, Marc was at her side and no one was going to fuck with Marc. for 6 years of college and grad school she didnt date either, just trying to get through each day. And no matter how strong you are, when you've grown up with abuse and never having that parental love, you're ripe to fall for lovebombing and someone rich taking care of you.

Doesn't mean she's weak, it makes she's human.

And one of my favorite parts of Seattle is Marc's reaction to Rebecca's pregnancy. Not only is he just genuinely thrilled, elated to be having kids with her, but the fact he's so excited to tell his dad, Matty, and all his street level marvel friends.

AH Lucky, that's a comfort fic of mine, honestly. The idea of Will taking care of me....

Not that you have to, but Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside and then Leather and Lace deal with similar themes of recovery from child abuse, sexual assault, and addiction, but that's just an aside

I appreciate you reaching out, and telling me all these kind things. These sorts of messages I've gotten for my series at different times always make me so happy and warm, but at this particular dark point in my life, it's meant a lot more.

So, thank you again.

[tomyo]

I know I suddenly posted a lot of backlog adventure stuff back to back haha but just a little lore building here. I felt some energy to actually try games after the rush of playing KH3. At the same time, games are hard alone bleh.

Next week though, I'm briefly staying with a friend who I might try to play through with on Sonic Riders and Nights. Last year when I visited him, I brought my Dreamcast down and we went through Jet Set Radio on it so this is the next playthrough together I guess hahaha.

I would of liked to play more Dreamcast games soon, however a lot of mine don't actually work at the moment. Shenmue and Sonic adventure need to be polished which is big oof anxiety and to a much less extent, Cooking Mama cook off. Might even trade that one in to be real. I think it'd probably be the most fun for us to one day attempt a Dream Cast Binge together. Shenmue will certainly be....a heavy meal of a game and other games like Time Stalkers and Space Channel 5 would just be fun with friends. I might even bring the 360 at some point so I can force him to do Free Riders with me too hahaha.

In general since basically buying every Harvest Moon game out there (as I write this I may or may not be getting grand bazaar and hero of leaf valley 💀) my attention jumped to my Sonic collection. Basically my biggest gap is with Wii era games surprisingly. When I was in elementary to early high school I was pretty big on the games and bought a lot of them for the sub $15 the GameCube ones cost at that time. There is a distinct pain over the fact the copy of Adventure XD I had I had to return for being to scratched given the prices now and for personal reasons, there's someone who I've wanted to be the one to give me their old copy of even though it won't ever happened hahaha. My biggest desires right now are to get my hands on Black Knight but I've also wanted a 360 copy of Unleashed, Generations, Zero Gravity, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Rush adventure and Shuffle also catch my eye but my wallet hurts enough as is. I really need to stop getting into game collecting.

Part of the reason to bring Sonic up is also because I'll probably be playing a replay of Sonic 06 with the friend who leant me his PS4. He apparently never played it but wants to and I love just... Backseat gaming rather than actually playing. Hahahah. Games can be magical but art takes up too much time in my life now. The switch has been helpful for my more on the go lifestyle these days but I often still run short on free time. Even now Ive been wasting work hours to do KH3 this past weekend.

I guess my final little ramble is back to my HM collection. God it's kinda scary how many games I had suddenly bought at once. I keep meaning to play but I know they're the kinda games I have to secretly dedicate a lot of time towards. If I do end up getting the two aforementioned with my recent impulse gets, I've pretty much achieved most major versions of the game. My biggest other missing ones probs come down to the Og Story of Seasons, A version of Back to Nature, and the FoMT remake. Another wonderful life is on there but I'm starting to question my need for that one when I hate all the bachelors which I'm required to marry. Overall though I've reached what feels like a pretty doable conclusion from all of those.

Playing them however.....is a separate case hahaha. I had briefly started a AWLSE run which I might try to pick up, I want to return to Animal Parade as well over the winter, and a Save the Homeland run should??? Be quick??? I just started a my little shop attempt which is a pretty pick up and put down game so I will likely do that daily with Animal Parade when I play that. Overall I think my biggest scare is the handheld games. They should be easier but they feel harder. I want to do A New beginning the most but the game mechanics are daunting. The DS cute Skye playthrough might end up being the better choice from those right now. Which leads me to question how long will I take to go through all those games since I haven't been playing them over the years like they were meant for.

I think if I do go through end of the year as I intend to, recovering from surgery, I will try to go through a bunch of them.

[piecesofhappenstance]

Rey of Sunshine

Hello?

I know you wondered how I got this picture of you, well it's clearly me stalking your Facebook account on some days it stumble to remind me of you, your existence. Apparently, you won't be able to see this anymore, and I'm so regretful that I missed the chance to reconnect with you when we're fully grown adults as we promised we would, it's just that life somehow keeps you forget about people, connections, and me thinking about more reasons.

You know what? one day, I was longing for people that can validate my existence for a reason and I thought of you, you knew me and I knew you, and to reach out after years of haven't talking much I know it's weird. And maybe for that same reason, the universe let me know about your passing, unexpectedly. And sorry, I missed the news you left this earth so young and thriving, I'm so sorry, I could've been one of many who could let the world know how great of a person you are. But I'm happy still many people did, I saw their posts and they are all celebrating your existence, Rey.

Do you remember how you write me letters when we're first year in high school? Gosh, I should've kept it all so I could brag about that one person that has seen good in me on those days, but my father won't let me, maybe he's also in denial that at a very young age, someone would take interest on me, especially a boy, haha a handsome boy. A boy whose handkerchief shy away his imperfections on a crowd when talking , someone who writes really nice letters to a nobody he met on a school beautification program on a weekend. I felt ecstatic that time, we agreed to date when we never really understand what it means to be in one. I guess you got your shot because of the letters you wrote me, those tiny little drawings you sent me telling me how you see me as a wonderful person.

Really, Rey, you build my confidence. I may broke yours that time. I had you running around the cafeteria, up and down to our building, just to talk to me or hand me your letters until your very last letter- you manage to ask my classmates to gave it to me after all. I was so ashamed that a nobody like me has someone like you waiting on our classroom door to experience all the good and the bad things in high school willingly. I was young, and you making me feel like I can pass someone's standard when I clearly doesn't see it like that, I wanted more. I wanted more than a shy boy writing letters about his life and fears, I burned bridges I supposedly not to.

Remember that 3rd year high school summer, when you sent me a message on Facebook? telling me you remembered me and maybe can be someone to listen still about your fears? we're clearly miles away from each other but you were able to remind me that I was once a good listener and you needed me to be that person again that time. We had a great talk. You told me you were struggling about your preferences and your school was outing you in a manner you're not consenting? talks, haughty antics, all of it were bothering you right? I'm sorry I can't empathize more than you need it. You told me you were now classmates with my former classmates and asked me that if somehow I was bothered that I dated you for a short time, even though you're "you" that they assumed about, I clearly not. Now, I even boast to my friends, that I knew you, that I'm grateful you were my very first boyfriend. And how colorful it is to be loved by a colorful person, I just hoped that years after that, you were able to accept yourself and how awesome you are to deserve all the happiness in the world. Well, I see you were, but I just wished you lived it longer.

You're not just the soft boy people mostly knew you were, you're a strong man of dreams trying to break a cycle of fears that society instilled in your mind and the environment you're in. Rey, your life may be short, but those moments we shared, you've guided a woman to be with confidence and shakes away her insecurities.

When I knew you were working on the same company I am with, I remember trying to always peek in a crowd I might be able to see you, luck didn't get in my way. I just want you to know that I never forget you, you're a friend I always wish I still have, and though we promised to somehow meet when we're adults, I'm sorry I am too late.

I am sorry I didn't write back on those letters as well, you meant to make me feel loved. I'm thankful. I hope the heavens sends you this back, that I remember your existence and I always will.

You're a ray of sunshine to someone, Rey. You are. In loving memories.

Rona

June 16, 2023.

[absoluteverdict]

ONE ACT PLAY

Group 3 Entry 5

Written by: M.M.K. Jologs

TITLE: JACK THE REAPER

By: Group 3 Heje, Harold L. Rial, Anthon Miguel, Braga Ericka, Buasan Arland.

SYNOPSIS: Jack was a poor lost soul that was trapped. And forced to collect souls for him to gain his freedom, but as he reaches the end of his journey, he will encounter a dying girl and this girl might just change his perspective on everything.

Characters:

Protagonist: Jack Nicholas - The Reaper

Love interest: Claire Sunday

Mrs.: Sunday – Mother of Claire

Trish - Friend of Claire.

Doctor Hector – Claire’s Doctor

Nurse Joy – Claire’s nurse

Setting: Clark Hospital

Jack: FINALLY! One soul left. Finally, I will have my freedom.

….

Doctor: Goodday Mrs. Sunday....I hope you have enough sleep today. Your eyes seem tired.

Mrs. Sunday: Good morning, Doctor Hector thank you for your concern.... these tired eyes of mine are nothing, just to make sure that my daughter is safe.

Doctor Hector: Sure....and now I have the test result I hope you were ready. Mrs. Sunday: Yes, I am doc. [Door closed slowly] BGM cuts off.

Jack: So where do I start hmmm. It says here my target this week is to seal or cast away 13 souls.... but seems like I need more time

Doctor: Mrs. Sunday I know that for the past years you been though a lot in your life as a single mother and now I'm so impressed at how resilient.... you are.

Mrs. Sunday: Pls doctor let's cut the chase and tell me the result [looks serious]

Doctor: [Takes a deep breath] ok Ms. Claire’s health is getting even worse for the past few days her immune system didn't fiction well than before...  [Looks at Mrs. Sunday with serious face] your daughter has stage 3 cancer. [The office shuts in complete silence] Shock to found out Mrs. Sunday burst into tears.

Mrs. Sunday: [Starts to cry] thank you doctor.

Doctor: Mrs. Sunday don't worry were here to help you and your daughter......I must go thank you for your high presence on this important matter.

[Doctor Hector leaves the office]

Narrator: As Doctor Hector talks about the funding of the result about Claire's health Mrs. Sunday breaks down to tears knowing that her daughter and the last part of her family has an incurable disease, little do they know Claire was secretly hearing about the conversation.

Mrs. Sunday: Good morning sweetheart how's your breakfast is it good

[Mrs. Sunday approached Claire and sit beside her]

Claire: Good morning mom thanks for the food I did enjoy eating it

Mrs. Sunday: As always....and oh tell me the next dish you want me to cook I'll make it for you. Claire: thanks mom not only for the food but for staying here with [Holds Mrs. Sunday Hands].

Meanwhile, Jack walks to the room that the book of fate directs him.

Jack: So, this is the room huh.... welp there's no time to waste here we go [ He rushes to open the door] OPEN SESAME!

…..

Claire: [Claire wakes up on her bed] ......oh it's midnight already......[Looks around the room and get up] sigh's......I'm all alone here again, ha-ha...wait I remember this will go on as I lived here in this earth

[Phone rings]

Claire: huh? It's already this late who could this be .... uhm hello Claire speaking.

Trisha: Hi!!!!! Claire [Greet Claire with joy] how are you bestie!!!! It's been so long since we hang out and see each other, I'm so sorry I didn't visit you these past days you know school and work stuff, but hey you know what's up!!!

Claire: Uhm no haha, Pls slow down and be specific ha-ha you sound like catching your breath [Smiles].

Trisha: Haha!! yeah sorry I'm just happy you know, and ohm I completely forgot beshie these coming Saturday I'll be visiting you.

Claire: [Smiles with tears of joy] Really!!!! I can't wait.

Trisha: Yeah, I know right!!! Bestie Be ready cause we're going to party all night.

Claire: Pls do come here I can't wait and besh can I get some favor can you buy my favorite foods and drinks pls, food here in hospital is plain and boring.

Trisha: Got it besh oh it's already this late!! Ok besh I'll be going now you take your rest too byee see ya!! and pls promise me (Don't die yet be strong and don't stop fighting) hehe byee!

Claire: I promise thanks for calling beshiiee, Good bye [ hangs up]

[Room filled with silence]

[Claire's look up to the moon]

Claire: I'm sorry mom, Trisha but it I can't keep that promise long enough. .

[Claire's wakes up and start her day]

Claire: [Yawn and stretch] Good morning, everyone!!

[Someone’s knocking on the door]

Nurse Joy:  Good morning Ms. Claire time for your medication.

Claire: Oh, pls come in, good morning, Nurse Joy how's your day today, another great day was given to us huh!

Nurse Joy: I'm fine thank you [Proceed to attend Claire medication] here Claire takes this and take a rest until the medicine effects were off.

Claire: [Takes the medicine while humming with joy] thanks, oh it's different today I wonder what's this taste.

Nurse Joy: Yeah, it helps you to improve your health and immune system more. [Nurse Joy looks at Claire]

Nurse Joy: Hey Claire as your personal nurse was impressed by your energy o never seen someone energetic as you are.

Claire: [Claire's reply with smiley face] oh...... It's nothing aim always happy.

Nurse Joy: [smirks] ok, now after you done taking the medicine gets some rest I'll be leaving now and wait Doctor Hector will have a minute with you.

Claire: Thank you for attending me!

[Nurse Joy leaves]

[Back at Claire's room]

Claire: Sigh'........I'm alone again Hehe, nothing new, anyway Tim to.... [Look at her medicine] the medicine change uhm [knock knock] Ha!! [Claire startled] uhm who is it?

[Doctor Hector opened the door]

Doctor Hector: Good morning Claire can I have a minute.

Claire: Pls come in.

[Door closed]

Doctor Hector: Hello there Claire how you feeling I have given out Nurse Joy your new medicine to help you and your body to boost your immunity [changes the expression of face to serious] uhm...I know it's not the time to say this but.... I think you are ready to know the truth. [Claire facial expression change]

Claire: uhm what is it doc it is about my new medicine? .... oh, am I FINALLY RECOVERD MY BODY IS FULLY RECOVERED HA!!!

[Claire question Doctor Hector with excitement and joy]

Doctor Hector: uhm no Claire.... [Takes a deep breath] you have stage 3 cancer and it's getting even worse

[Complete silence fills the room]

Claire: What......what...doc.....can you pls say it .... again

Doctor Hector: Yes, you have stage 3 cancer and have only a year to live.... I’m sorry to inform you....

[Claire facial expression change shock in feared]

Claire: Oh, that's.......can I.......uhm......

Doctor Hector: Don't lose hope we still have time to figure things out Claire we are here to support you and your family and friends....

Claire: I understand doc thank you....

Doctor Hector: I'll better get going if you need something fill free to ask.

[Claire stops Doctor Hector for a sec]

Claire: Wait doc ......does my mother know about this ...that I have.......

Doctor Hector: Yes, Claire I'll better get going now.

[Doctor Hector leaves]

Narrator: Claire was in complete shock with feared after knowing she have cancer and have year to lived and now all her emotions have mixed up feeling tired for all the happenings Claire decided to get some rest.

Claire: Huh wait a minute where am I [looks around the room] ah my head's hurt.

Jack: Good morning how's your head, by the way my name's is Jack, Jack Nicholas.

[Jack reached Claire hand and perform a hand shake]

Claire: ahh!!!! Nurse Joy anyone pls help a stranger broke in help!!

Jack: oy oy wait I'm no stranger I'm the one saved your life at the rooftop don't you remember and now you treating me like this!!

[Nurse Joy running through the hallway]

Nurse Joy: [Dashed through the door] what is it where's the stranger you talking to.

Claire: He's right there, standing in the middle, call the police hurry!!!

 [Claire desperate face]

 [Nurse Joy searches the room]

Nurse Joy: uhm are you ok Claire.......hmm it must be the new medicine oh well time to get some rest Claire enough of this prank thing of yours, bye.

Claire: oh no I am not pranking you, pls pls!

[Nurse Joy leaves the room]

Jack: Claps 4x bravo nice I by the way the way you scream Is kind of cute, do you like singing cause your voice is so powerful it broke my ears to parts.

[Jack touches he's ear]

Claire: [Hides under the sheet] oh!! What do you want from me!!

Jack: Hey I just want to ask something, why everyone here in hospital didn't see me nor touch me nor even sense my presence but why you can?

[Jack’s face get serious]

Claire: I don't know .... but still pls maintain your distance.

Jack: ok......oh Claire can I ask you a question, do you have the disease, right?

Claire: oh.... So, you want to know more about my disease oh well I'll tell you but pls after this leave my room, I'm still processing all the things happened here

[Claire explained to Jack for 3 mins]

Claire: there you go so you get it now.

Jack: yeah, kind of so it's a disease that can't be cure huh make sense!

[Someone knocked at the door]

Nurse Joy: hello Claire it's time for breakfast and eat well pls.

Claire: thank you .... oh, hey Jack wait you want some of this I bet you are hungry after all the soul thing you do.

Jack: No thanks I can't eat those food anymore I'm a soul reaper what I eat is energy from that souls that I cast away or sealed the level of tasty depends from the type of soul I'm dealing with

Claire: oh, ok well more food for me.

Jack: Hey you have a year to live right...so I’m thinking why don't you accompany me on my soul reaper mission.

Claire: Oh, ok but let me finish my breakfast first Hehe.

Narrator: As the two get to know each other on the short period of time Jack hesitated to rush, so he left.

[Jack leaves,]

Claire: [Whispers] good bye jack...uhh my head again [Claire starts to feel dizzy and collapsed].

[Mrs. Sunday crying]

[Claire eye's opened]

Mrs. Sunday: good morning, Claire....uhm...how's your sleep...uhm are you feeling well.

[Continues to cry]

Claire: uhm...mom hello where am I and where’s jack.

Mrs. Sunday: who's Jack is this......any ways I'm here to tell you something.

Doctor Hector: no need to sweat Mrs. Sunday let me inform Ms. Claire.

Claire: uhm What is it is it about my disease did we already beat it did we won is my body already recovered!!!

Doctor Hector: [clears he's throat] we don't have time to explain it to you but we already ran out of time. You have 3 days to live I know it's a shocking but the cancer plates to your body grows rapidly and completely destroying any kind of immunity you have in your body.

[Claire in complete silence]

Doctor Hector: I'm so sorry to inform you that. [Claire back at her room]

Narrator: Now we reached the final ending of the life of Claire but what's going to happen next.

Claire: [Crying hard] I guess this is the end but I'm glad that I lived my life to the fullest.

[Claire Smiles as she cries at her room]

Claire: Jack appeared from her soul reaper job and need one soul left to complete he's job and get a one wish.

[Jack approaches Claire]

Jack: hey Claire.

 [Sees Claire crying]

Jack: Claire are you okay, why are you crying?

Claire: Hey Jack.

Jack: what happened? why are you crying?

Claire: Jack my time Is already running out I only have 3 days to lived.

[Claire proceeds to cry harder]

Jack: what....

Narrator: After knowing that Claire has a limited time living her life jack is now stuck and thinking all over it, if he's going to take Claire soul to finish and fulfil his mission to get his freedom

Jack: [Breaths heavily] what now.... I can't just take the soul of Claire for my own selfishness because I know she’s fighting her own battle .... sigh’s WHY?!

Claire: [Laying on bed] 2 days left I can't believe all of this is happening in one place. but I can’t escape my fate now [ starts to cry] [Someone's knock at the door]

Mrs. Sunday: Hello sweetheart are you there can I come in

Claire: I'm sorry mom for living you behind all alone but do remember this I'm thankful that I have a mother like you thanks you so much

Mrs. Sunday: [Starts to cry] yes don't worry I'll be always be at your side.

Jack: I already made up my mind.

Jack: [Jack Enters Claire room] hey Claire, how are you feeling, can I take your precious time with me I want you to talk to you about something.

Claire: [Wakes up] oh hello there, Jack [Hugs Jack Tight] sure it's lonely in here so I don't kind but hey I only have 1 day left tomorrow so it's ok for me ...so what is it?

Jack: so, Claire why don’t you share your personal life and information to get to know each other better while we have and you have still time.

Claire: Hehe okay, I'll be sharing all of my life and personal information about myself. Claire And Jack shares and talks about their life as a dying human and as an unappeased soul.

[After 1 hour]

Jack: welp that's kind of fun.... nice knowing you.

Claire: yeah, but I think yours is kind of short.

Jack: Yeah, I'm sorry I can’t remember the story about me ...so uhm Claire as we are talking about your life you mentioned that you have a childhood friend and it's a boy, but you can't remember his name nor his simple identity.

Claire: oh, it's nothing I just mentioned it out of the blue But 4 years ago we are playing catch ball here in the hospital rooftop but when as I about to throw the ball at him I accidentally slipped and was about to fall to my death 6th flood straight down but he rescues me and grave mt hand and pull me up but suddenly he slips and fall instead of me, after that we did not receive any kind of information about him and suddenly I completely forgot everything about him.

Jack: oh, that's kind of bad.

Claire: Actually, I had this last memory of his......- [Bells ring it's already 12 am]

Claire Oh, thank you so much for joining me in my last day on earth thank you Jack and good bye.

[Hugs Jack tight]

Jack: Yeah, Claire I'm glad I met you for only a period of time goodbye.

Claire: I only have 13 hours left Thankyou Jack; you can leave me now thanks for everything

Jack: Yeah farewell. [Jack leaves]

Doctor Hector: now we must prepare for the upcoming short operation in which Ms. Claire Sunday’s life depends on it we only have 5 hours to perform the operation we must use that as much as possible now move!

Jack: I already know what to do. I already have my last soul now.  

Doctor Hector: Ok we are now ready to launch the operation in 3,2,1 light on.

…

Claire: Uhm .... uh .... hello mom is anyone there.... why am I feeling light my body feels light what's just happened? .

[Claire wakes up]

Narrator: A successful impossible operation was done in the brink of the time now Claire survived the impossible and now she found her self-surrounded by the people who cares for him but something is missing or rather someone.

Claire: wait mom I need to find jack where is he? I need to tell him that I already recovered.

Claire: where is he? where are you, Jack? I can't wait to meet him and say to him that I already recovered I'm so happy and excited.

Claire: Who's that? [turns around] ah! Jack

Jack: Good day Claire I'm glad and so happy to see you. I'm sorry.

Claire: Why Jack?

Jack: yeah, about that one the last soul that I need to harvest is yours

Claire: wait what....

Claire: [Hold Jack hands] I will do it. But please do accompany me.

Claire: oh, hey Jack you can have this this is from me childhood friend he gave me this necklace right before my birthday

[gives Jack the necklace]

….

Jack: ha...ha.... I, I already know these memories of mine the name is .......my name is Jack Albertson Nicholas that's my name

[looks at Claire face]

Claire: You are my long-lost childhood friend

[hugs each other]

Claire: finally, I finally found you thank you so much.

Jack: yeah, I'm finally here home thanks to you Claire.

Jack: [I finally found my long deserve peace I feel so happy now good bye Claire thanks for everything].

….END….

CONFLICT: Jack the Reaper has been trapped and was tasked to collect souls in order to gain his freedom.

CONFLICT#2: Claire is being challenged by a chronological disease, Stage 3 Cancer.

MESSAGE: Doing good deeds and being selfless will always bring peace on one’s self.

[purplesurveys]

1862

So, how's adulting treating you in the 2020s? Are you smashing those expectations, or do you just wanna Netflix and chill all day? I did way better than the expectations I set for myself. First of all – I'm 26 and I'm still alive. I never thought I would make it past 21. That's an empowering realization to have.

I've been promoted every single year since first getting employed in 2020; I hold a title at work I never thought I would ever be qualified for, and reached it at 25. I got over my biggest source of grief and used it to reach the happiest I've ever been. I have a much, MUCH smaller group of friends now, but in them I've found my ride-or-dies. I've learned to embrace being single because it means I get to be the cool rich aunt and spend my money on whatever food or hobby on the weekends. I've stopped comparing myself to other people and it has brought me peace like nothing I've ever felt. I think I'm doing pretty great.

Remember all the fads and trends from the 2010s? Which one makes you cringe the most when looking back now? The Coachella indie girl look with the muscle tees, denim shorts, rompers etc sort of look looked super cute and cool back then, but with trends changing and all it also feels ever so slightly cringe now. Cringe in an endearing way more than anything, but still.

Idk, I don't really find a lot of things from that time embarrassing now. I was in high school then, so I took part or consumed most of those trends and I'll always look back on them fondly.

In the 2020s, are you living the glamorous life you thought all adults had in the 2010s, or is it more like trying to keep houseplants alive and failing miserably? No. Adults are also just figuring out themselves, and that's okay. I don't think that will ever stop.

Tell us about a moment in the 2010s when you thought you were the coolest kid on the block, but looking back, you were just as awkward as the rest of us. Making my relationship my entire personality.

So, do you adult better with a fancy planner and color-coded schedules, or are you just winging it with Post-it notes and sheer luck? I take it day by day. I do and decide whatever I feel like doing and deciding at the moment.

In the 2020s, have you finally mastered the art of adulting, or do you still have an impressive collection of takeout menus and not a clue about cooking? Oh if you mean like chores, I'm pretty behind lol. It's part of why I plan to move to BGC – everything has a service there. I think being as far away from home as possible would also help straighten me up and force me to fend for myself, and I need that.

Looking back on the 2010s, what was the cringiest song you couldn't stop listening to on your iPod, and did you ever dare to sing it in public? AJ Lee's theme is forever a bop within the wrestling world but I wouldn't ever play it to my friends or sing it out loud haha. It's so endearingly niche.

Are you living the dream of having a fabulous wardrobe that puts fashion bloggers to shame, or is your closet a chaotic mix of hand-me-downs and sale-rack finds? It's chaotic in a sense that my style changes from day to day.

Do you miss the simpler times of the 2010s when social media was all about posting selfies, or are you loving the meme culture that dominates the 2020s? The memes get more hilarious as time passes, and those I have no problem with. It's the peace, the non-conflict, the everyone's-just-here-to-fuck-around vibes on social media. Twitter is a world away from what it used to be.

Tell us your most epic "adulting fail" moment that made you wish you could just teleport back to your carefree teenage years. It's not really one specific moment, but I've regretted corporate-slaving my life away. Especially in my earlier work years where I was very career-driven, missing out on family lunches or the chances to go out with friends...it's those moments that make me long for my younger years when I studied during the day but still had time to hang out with my college friends and my girlfriend at the time. In any case, turning 25 turned on a switch in me and I have been prioritizing my life over work ever since, so that's a nice learning, I guess.

How do you balance being a responsible adult in the 2020s and still secretly longing for the reckless fun you had in the 2010s? Eh, I don't really need to? I don't actively miss my time in the 2010s. It was fun while it lasted, but we're here now and I'm going to focus on what makes me happy now.

Confess your most significant guilty pleasure from the 2010s that you can't believe you indulged in. No judgment here! 1D fanfiction maybe lol? I wasn't in deep like most fans and I don't understand most references still getting thrown today, but I did read a couple.

Do you have a "best worst" purchase from the 2010s that you still can't believe you spent money on? Can it just be the worst haha? Probably just all the gas I spent for my ex, driving her everywhere – to dates, to her house, to her dorm.

In the 2020s, have you upgraded your hangover-curing skills from greasy fast food to some sophisticated avocado toast? Nah I will still look for greasy stuff.

What's your go-to dance move when you hit the dance floor in the 2020s, and did it come from an embarrassing attempt in the 2010s? I don't dance.

How do you cope with adulting burnout in the 2020s, and does it involve a secret stash of chocolate or a Netflix binge? I find a lowkey coffee shop tucked away in the middle of nowhere, turn on DND on my phone, and read.

Share the most hilariously awkward Zoom moment you had during the great pandemic of the 2020s. I've never had an awkward on-cam moment, fortunately.

Looking back on the 2010s, what was the weirdest internet challenge you participated in, and did you regret it immediately? I wouldn't call it weird but my sophomore (or was it freshman?) class did the Harlem Shake challenge on the last day of school. I wouldn't call it cringe or be embarrassed by it though. It's cute to think about now.

Have you finally embraced the fact that you're an adult, or do you still find yourself wishing you had Hermione Granger's time-turner to go back to simpler times? I miss the freedom in youth, but I prefer to focus on the now because as much as I long for it, it'll never come back.

So, did you ever jump on the "juice cleanse" bandwagon in the 2010s, and did you last more than a day before devouring a pizza? No I was like 15 and weighed 90 lbs lol.

How do you handle those moments in the 2020s when you feel like you're just a kid pretending to be an adult? Cry it out if I need to, but trudge along anyway and hope that I learn something from the whatever it is I need to do.

In the 2010s, what was your worst fashion faux pas that you wish had never seen the light of day? Statement shirts.

Are you now the queen or king of adulting, doling out life advice like Oprah, or are you still secretly calling your mom for help with laundry? I have no shame asking my parents for help. They won't be around forever, so I like having them around as much as I can.

Looking ahead to the rest of the 2020s, what are your hopes and dreams for your adulting journey, and how will you embrace the chaos with a sense of humor? I would just love to be able to travel the world. And be the aunt that sneaks my nieces/nephews out for ice cream or pizza after school.

[airbenderedacted]

the mood's just been