#guys... guys PLEASE listen to this it's sooooooo good she only makes Music

[liinos]

SHE DID IT AGAIN

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[l-l-kristofferson]

My Last Semester Of School

For those who have been following me on Instagram, you guys have been up to date about things I've been doing. Including the fact that I have finally finished school as of Thursday the 14th. When I finished, I could not describe the feeling that came over me. It was pure and utter joy. I have been going to school since I was five years old. I am about to turn twenty-two next month. That's nearly seventeen years of school. Seventeen years of busting my ass. Seventeen years of stress, irritation, and frustration. But after all that, I have finished with the best grades I've ever had. For the first time since I've been in college, I made the Dean's List. And I am proud of myself.

Although it is the end, the road to get here was not an easy one. There were numerous challenges that I faced to get to this point. I could not have made it without the support of my mom and stepdad, my friends and their kindness, my teachers, my classmates, and the countless number of customers that encouraged me while I was at work. I would also like to thank the staff at my school: my friends in the lunchroom, my friends in the library, my friends at the bookstore, and the many friends I made through the social events I attended in my final semester. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all. For your kindness, sincerity, and encouragement. It really carried me through.

Now to get into specifics.

The summer before my final semester, I sought out an internship. To do this, I had to seek out the coordinator of the Experimental Learning program, Angela. She was the sweetest and most hip of most of the people I had met at my school. She liked a lot of the music I liked. Brownie points for that. So she was my push to get the perfect internship. She helped me every step of the way. From the search, to the interview, to the resume, to the cover letter, and to the final stages. I came to her when I was having issues with my internship. For those who don't know, I interned in downtown Philadelphia at a place called US Dream Academy. It is a wonderful program that provides a lot of opportunities for children and teenagers. I got a chance to interact with the staff behind the scenes and the kids on some level. Although it was a good program, my contact person was not the best at communication. Which made no sense since they had Drexel interns and volunteers. Long story short, I had few hours and it was nearing the end of the semester. In light of that situation, I had to get another internship. I interned with the Associate Dean of the Arts at my school. I've had her as a teacher before so we had a preexisting relationship.

At the end of it all, I succeeded in my assignments from both internships. I made a post about author and writer Julia Kristeva. If you have not seen that one, go check it out. It is titled "I Love Writing" and it was by far one of my favorite assignments ever. My favorite assignment of all time was designing a poetry workshop for the kids of US Dream Academy. It was a six week program and it was a tedious task. But it was something I loved. I hope they get someone with as much enthusiasm as me to teach it.

If the internships weren't enough pressure, I had to do the homework for six classes. That's a full course load for a full time student. The least to take for a full time student is twelve credits (four classes). I was taking eighteen (six classes). I was initially supposed to take five classes with the internship being something extra. But when it was fully integrated and now a requirement in order to graduate, I was shit out of luck when I thought I could just drop the internship when I wasn't getting the hours. Thanks to Angela and the Associate Dean, it was all made possible. Some of the assignments were ridiculous, especially from my Junior Seminar class. This teacher wanted us to do weekly responses, do a minimum of a five page paper and read three to four hundred page books in a WEEK. A WEEK! I know this is college but come on. We have other classes to attend to. This guy assumed we could solely devote ourselves to his work and get it all done. Despite all this, I got a B in his class. It only got fun near the end when we got to the Zombie Apocalypse. I love that stuff sooooooo much. I love all things zombie.

When I wasn't at home doing homework, out at my internship, or at home sleeping, I was at work. I wasn't scheduled a lot but I was always scheduled to close during the week. The night shift on a weekday is very busy when you work in retail. This is the time that people get out of work and come to pick up the things they need for dinner, the house, or things for their families. The busiest days at the store are Mondays, Fridays, the first of the month, and weekends. If you work in retail, you know that this is all true. At my job, I would have to snack on something during my shift. I only got a half hour lunch. That isn't enough time to relax and eat. So I would have to buy snacks to sustain me as I worked.

During my break, I would listen to music and text so I could detox. Those who have never had a job in retail think that it is easy to be a Sales Associate. You have to deal with customers that get angry when things aren't a dollar or the price they want it to be (I work at Dollar General. Because dollar is in the name, everyone thinks it's a dollar store), customers messing up displays and merchandise, leaving carts in the parking lot, and putting things back because they can't afford it. I have some words of advice for most of the customers that come into my store: please read the signs closely and come in with a budget. If you did that, you wouldn't have problems you have when you come in.

If I wasn't dealing with anything about school or work, I would have to deal with problems in my personal life. For those who have followed me and have gotten to know me, you know I suffer from horrible insomnia. So I normally don't sleep well at night. And when I can't sleep, I am up writing or chatting online. On a lot of mornings, I would have to drink a strong cup of tea to get through the day. I try to drink as little caffeine as possible so I don't end up dependent on it. But I would always deal and get through the day. Thank you Lipton black tea for keeping me awake on those long school days.

But when it wasn't sleep problems, it was problems with my mood, hygiene, and basic self care. In a previous post, I spoke about my two and a half month low in a crippling depression. That spanned throughout most of the semester. It wasn't until mid November that things started to improve. So from the end of August until mid November, it was a struggle to even get out of bed. I nearly lost myself. But I held on and got the help I needed. I thank those who supported me through that hard time and lifted me up to get to this part of my journey. You are all wonderful people.

Now I'll talk about the fun stuff.

I got really close to my friends Amber, Meggie, Jordan, and Rich. There were countless others like my friend Chris (Big Brother), my fellow loco Puerto Rican Manny, my very close female friend (I've talked about her before), my friend Karyn (Danni), and my good friend and coworker Adriel.

This year, I got to help out at my school's haunted house, which my friend Meggie ran this year. We raised money for the Ferocious Fighters, a charity that supported research and treatment for the neurological condition RSD. My friend Meggie suffers from the condition and has for nearly five years. She is by far the strongest friend I've ever had. She has to deal with constant pain everyday. But she doesn't complain and she faces every single day with a bright smile and a strong sense of determination. I admire her very much. She is a fighter like me. And the kindest soul. I love you Meggie.

My friends Amber and Jordan were like the dynamic duo. I would hang out in their class if I happened to be free on Thursdays. We would chat it up and have a good laugh. Jordan was the king of memes. He would make them all the time. He is also my go to guy when it comes to anime pictures. If I ever needed something, he was there to find it. As for Amber, she was queen of Vans merch, along with being queen of the bands The Front Bottoms and Modern Baseball. She reminds me of Tina from Bob's Burgers. When the three of us were together, Jordan was Gene, Amber was TIna, and I was Louise (mostly because I was an outspoken, crazy and at times mischievous guy). They enjoyed my weird humor and quirkiness.

Thank you guys for being my friends. You brightened my days when they seemed so bleak. For listening to my problems and never turning me away. You guys will always have a place in my heart and a place in my phone. I've never met a group of people so awesome. And Alisitie, don't think I forgot about you. I love you too you amazing human being.

This post was not only about me. It was also to appreciate all the people that played a part in me getting to this place. I love you all so much. Words cannot describe what you mean to me. I am grateful for you.

Quick update for you guys. I have a new email address to interact with you guys. If you want that email, DM me here. I will also post my social media and story handles for you.

Instagram: lame_dude_20 (Profile picture of Roxas)

Kik: kingsebastianisdead (Profile picture of Ventus. Username is The Roxas Joker)

Wattpad: WarriorEmpath

I will be posting a yaoi vignette on Wattpad before the new year. So stick around for that.

Thanks for listening. Write again soon.

[dontcallmehelpless]

13 Reasons Why (Daveed x Reader)

Sooooooo this took me literally forever to write, but I’m happy with the way it turned out!! Lil shoutout to Becca ( @angeilca-s ) helping me with some of the reasons ;) feedback would be lovely, and enjoy! 

Warnings: ANGST, swearing, it gets a little heated at one part but other than that I think it’s all good?

Words: 5447 (dang this took forever)

One - Constantly distracted

You mindlessly scraped the food around on your plate, your eyes glancing from the food up to your boyfriend, who obviously had something much more important than your three year anniversary on his phone.

“Babe, can you please put that away?” you hinted, glancing down at his phone when he looked up at you.

“Oh, yeah, mhm,” he nodded, sliding it into his back pocket and looking at you. That’s one of the many things that killed you, was the way he looked at you. No matter what you looked like, what you were doing, it didn’t matter. His chocolatey brown eyes bore into you like you put the stars in the sky and made the earth spin on its axis. You sighed and continued eating.

“Babygirl,” he strung out, letting the word slide right off his lips like music to your ears.

“Yes?” you responded, once again giving him your attention.

“I love you, I promise. So much,” he grinned, reaching over to take your hand. He rubbed his thumb across the back of your hand, something that you had always found calming.

“I love you too,” you replied, smiling back. It was a truly genuine smile. You couldn’t be more in love with the man sitting across from you.

Two - Coming home late

“I’m home,” you called out into your shared apartment. Daveed normally got home before you every day, so you weren’t expecting anything different. But when all you were welcomed with was emptiness and silence, you were a bit thrown off.

“D? You here?” you called again, only to be met with silence. You huffed, setting your things down and making a cup of tea. You had a stressful day at work, and all you wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. Kicking your heels off, you headed upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes.

Once you had settled down onto the couch, fuzzy blanket and tv remote in hand, you flipped on Netflix, putting on old episodes of Gossip Girl. It ended up being more just background noise, as you fell asleep halfway through the second episode.

You were never a very heavy sleeper, which explained how you got woken up by the door closing, even though Daveed tried his hardest to be as quiet as possible. You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and stretching out a bit.

“D? That you?” you mumbled.

“Of course babygirl, now go back to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he cooed, kissing your forehead and letting you curl up into his side. You were happiest in that position, feeling safe and warm. A smile spread across your face, only to be reciprocated by Daveed. He truly did love you, and he was trying his best to show that.

Three - Increased effort in appearance

Stumbling into the bathroom one morning, you found Daveed shaving. This was definitely something that happened often, but he was being quite particular this morning. The lines were smooth, the prickly hairs rubbing against your cheek as he kissed you good morning.

“Good morning my love, how did you sleep?” he asked, walking out of the bathroom and over to the ironing board, which was oddly out of place in the spare bedroom. You had put it in there a few months ago when you decided that it wasn’t used enough, and it had never been taken out since.

“Fine, what’s that for?” you questioned, nodding your head towards the board which had a light blue button-up laying across it.

“Oh, I’ve got a big meeting today with some producers. Gotta look the part,” he shrugged ever so slightly, slipping the shirt on. Tucking it in, he grabbed his phone and stuck it in his pocket before walking back over to you and pressing a passionate kiss to your lips.

“I love you babygirl, I’ll be home before dinner tonight,” he gave you a warm smile, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I can’t wait until then,” you called after him as he walked out the door, he waved back at you, before hopping into his car and driving down the street.

The house felt cold, almost, without Daveed here with you. It was a Saturday, which you had off, so he agreed to not work Saturdays either. Why he didn’t tell you about this meeting beforehand threw you off, but not as much as why he was putting in so much of an effort to look nice. You weren’t complaining, he obviously looked very handsome, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up. Shrugging it off, you continued on with your day, the thought still nagging at the back of your mind.

Four - Change in music

Music flooded your ears as you walked into the kitchen, catching sight of your boyfriend making dinner. It was a wonderful thing to see, him acting like the spoon was a microphone, dancing around. When he noticed you watching him, he pulled you into it, twirling you around, earning a giggle from you. You couldn’t help but smile as he sang all of the words to you, staring into your eyes with his own. It was a song you didn’t recognize, but you still loved it nonetheless.

“Is this country?” you asked curiously, considering he never liked country music.

“Mhm,” he nodded, twirling you around once more. You cocked your head to the side and stared at him.

“Why are you listening to country? I thought you didn’t like it,” you questioned. He shrugged.

“I can’t like new music?” he said defensively, although he didn’t mean it that way. You went rigid, pulling away from him.

“Sorry for asking a goddamn question,” you muttered, slipping past him and into the living room.

“Wait, Y/N, I’ll change it. I’m sorry,” he pulled your arm, dragging you back into the kitchen. A small smile played at his lips, which you couldn’t help but return.

“I think you might like this song, can I play it?” he asked, not waiting for an answer before scrolling to find it on his phone.

Got a girl from the south side, got braids in her hair

First time I seen her walk by, man I ‘bout fell off my chair

Daveed serenaded you with the music, grabbing your arms and making you dance with him.

Had to get her number, it took me like six weeks

Now me and her go way back like Cadillac seats

He spun you to him and wrapped his arms around you, swaying back and forth along with the music.

Body like a back road, drivin’ with my eyes closed

I know every curve like the back of my hand

Doin’ 15 in a 30, I ain’t in no hurry

I’mma take it slow just as fast as I can

You laughed, watching Daveed get so into the song. Watching with adoration in your eyes, you pulled out your phone and recorded a video on snapchat.

“Y/N, delete thaaaat,” he dragged out the last word. You shook your head.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” you smiled, watching him pout and roll his eyes before pulling you into a kiss.

Five - Simultaneous cancellations

Y/BF/N: Sorry, I got called into work and I can’t make it to dinner tonight! So sorry, raincheck? xo

“Ugh, Y/BF/N cancelled. Again,” you sighed, rolling your eyes.

“I just want us to be able to go out with friends once in awhile, but she always cancels,” you crossed your arms, getting pissed that once again, she did this.

“It’s fine, we can just go out. I’ll call Oak and let him know we’re rescheduling,” he replied, kissing your cheek, before going to call Oak.

You finished getting ready, in a slightly better mood than before. Once you and Daveed were both ready, you got in his car and headed to a random restaurant across town.

You enjoyed spending time with just the two of you, however you were still irked that your best friend would just cancel on you again.

Suddenly, Daveed’s phone rang, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“I’m sorry babe, I’ve gotta take this,” he said, squeezing your hand before excusing himself from the table. You absentmindedly played with your food, waiting for him to return. After a few minutes, he rushed back inside.

“Hey, I’m so sorry, but something came up with the recordings, you know how they had to be submitted by last Friday, right?” You nodded.

“Well one of the tracks is missing. Just, like, up and disappeared. So we need to go back in and record it now if we want it to be on the album,” he continued, pulling on his jacket.

“I’m getting a ride from the guys, they’re on their way now. You good to meet me at home later?” he asked, glancing up from his wallet where he was pulling out two twenties to pay for dinner.

“Yeah, go get that taken care of,” you smiled, letting him know it was okay.

“Okay, great. I’ll see you later,” he kissed you once, forcefully, yet passionately, before running out the door.

“I love you!” you called after him, but he was already out the door.

Six - Newfound defensiveness and secretiveness

“Hey babe, how was work today?” you asked your boyfriend as he entered the living room, only to find you sprawled out across the couch.

“Fine,” he replied curtly. You squinted your eyes slightly and cocked your head, not sure why the short reply. You shrugged it off, figuring it was nothing major.

“That’s it? Just fine? Normally you can go on and on about your day, Will did this, John did-”

“Okay? And that’s every other day. Today it was just fine. Anything wrong with that?” he snapped, his jaw tensed and his shoulders back.

“No, just asking,” you went back to watching Supernatural, wondering why he was being so defensive all of a sudden. You heard a sigh from behind you, before a pair of hands rested on your shoulders. Daveed started rubbing them, and you let your head roll back.

“I’m sorry, it’s just a little more than I thought it would be. Nothing too bad though,” he replied, but you still felt that sense of cold.

You sighed, getting a little fed up.

“You good?” wondered Daveed out loud, noticing your tense position.

“Mhm,” you nodded, although it wasn’t too convincing. He raised an eyebrow.

“What’s on your mind? There’s gotta be something,” he pushed, sitting up a little straighter.

“What has gotten into you lately? You’ve been… different. Weird. I don’t know,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“I’ve been busy with work. You already know this,” he grumbled. You could practically feel the tension in the air surrounding the two of you.

“No, I don’t. What’s got you so much busier than usual? Your last album didn’t require this much overtime, so what’s going on? The staying out later, always being on your phone, leaving when we’re spending time together… What’s more important than to you than our relationship?” your voice cracked at the end, tears welling up in your eyes. Daveed’s face faltered, and you could see the hurt evident in his big brown eyes.

That hurt was quickly replaced with rage.

“Since when do you feel the need to know my every move? What’s next? A tracker in my phone? Huh?” he stood up, waving his hands around as he yelled.

“Maybe if you just told me and didn’t lie I wouldn’t be asking questions!”

“Well maybe I can have my own life without someone knowing every single thing,” he spat, turning around and walking out of the room. You shook your head, tears falling freely down your face.

“Fuck you!” you yelled after him.

When you got no response, you sank to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest.

Why?

Seven - Anxious when together

“I’m just saying, they should have a drive thru at movie theaters so you can just go buy the popcorn,” you laughed, arguing about random nonsense with Daveed on your way home from the mall.

“Okay, whatever you say,” he rolled his eyes playfully, earning a soft punch in the arm from you.

“So what are we doing now?” you asked, glancing out towards the horizon where the sun was setting.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. Whatever you wanna do,” he shrugged.

“Okay… How about we just go walk along the beach? We haven’t done that in so long,” you suggested, only to get a shrug and a slight nod in response.

“Or not,” you added after being replied with silence. Daveed shook his left leg at a constant pace, waiting for the light to turn green. You turned to the side to look at him, studying his beautiful face for a few moments.

He seemed more tired than he usually did, his eyes not as bright with bags underneath. He was holding your hand, but it almost seemed like he wasn’t really holding it, just letting it lay there.

“Babe? Are you okay?” you pulled him out of his thoughts after the light had been green for a few seconds. He snapped out of it, looking around before proceeding through the intersection. He nodded in response to your question.

“Yeah, I’m just worried about the album. What if the fans don’t like it? What if it totally fails?” he worried, pulling his hand away from yours to run it through his hair. You put your hand on his leg, rubbing it comfortingly, only to have him tense up underneath your touch. You slowly pulled your hand away.

“They’ll love it, they always do. You sure that’s it?” you questioned once more, and he gulped and nodded, almost too quickly. You didn’t say anything else, just stared out at the road, waiting for him to say something.

He didn’t say anything that night until before you went to bed. He muttered goodnight, trudging up the stairs and into your bedroom, leaving you alone on the couch in the living room.

Eight - Encouraging spending time with others

“So because I have to go to another meeting today, I was thinking maybe you could go out for a girls’ day with Pippa and Jasmine. You’re always talking about how much you miss them, so you should go have fun,” Daveed rambled on, the sun shining brightly through the windows on a Saturday morning. You snorted, holding back a laugh.

“Since when do you suggest girls’ days?” you asked, chuckling to yourself.

“Since I think you deserve to have fun. You can spend time with people other than me ya know,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m aware. I’m just curious as to why you feel this way all of a sudden,” you wondered.

“Because I have a meeting, and it’s not good for you to spend all this time inside. Get outside! Go have fun, please. You deserve to be happy,” he made sure he had everything before grabbing the car keys and opening the door.

“Okay, okay. I guess I’ll go,” you laughed, a sound that was music to Daveed’s ears. He smiled at you before shutting the door and leaving you to go about your day.

Nine - Emotional distancing

Soft sobs echoed their way through your apartment, meeting your ears as you entered the room.

“D? Babe? What’s wrong?” you called, setting your things down and racing off to find him. You searched everywhere, the living room, kitchen, bedroom, when finally you opened the bathroom door to find Daveed with his hands resting on the counter, his head lowered. Tears were running off of his face, and it was very evident that something was wrong.

“Babe, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me,” you repeated, pulling him into a hug. He pushed you away, eyes glancing in your direction as you stumbled back.

“Wh-what, is everything okay?” you composed yourself, trying to keep it together for Daveed’s sake.

“Yes. Please leave,” he told you, his voice rough from crying.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” you countered, crossing your arms since he wouldn’t let you comfort him.

“Leave. Now,” he said through gritted teeth. You did as you were told, figuring he just needed some space before explaining the situation to you.

But as the days, soon weeks, passed, you began to grow nervous. He was still shutting you out, offering no explanation as to what had happened.

You were hanging out with Jasmine at her and Anthony’s apartment one day, gossiping and laughing, just like it used to be.

“So how are you and Daveed?” asked Jasmine.

“No kids anytime soon, right? I don’t really wanna have to babysit,” Anthony added, wrinkling his nose. You rolled your eyes at the childish gesture before turning back to Jasmine.

“Actually, he’s been a little distant lately. He won’t tell me what’s going on,” you leaned back against the couch, stirring your drink with the little straw inside.

“Well you know everything that’s going on with his mom, right?” she asked, your eyes widening.

“No? What? Why wouldn’t he tell me? What’s going on?” you bombarded her with questions, standing up and pacing around the room, one of Daveed’s little quirks that you had picked up on over the years.

“Y/N, his mom’s sick. They don’t know what caused it, but she’s been in the hospital for over a month,” Anthony said, pulling you into a hug along with Jasmine. You let your tears out, clutching onto Anthony’s shirt like you would never touch anything again.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” you sobbed, thinking about all of the wonderful times you had with her. You two got along extremely well, having the same views on many different political topics as well as on everyday things. You had spend many holidays helping her cook, clean, and making sure everything was perfect.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask him again? Don’t bring it up directly, just make sure everything is okay,” Jasmine said, rubbing your back. Anthony nodded in agreement, and you pulled them both into a tight hug, muttering thank yous to both of them.

“Everything’s still okay, right?” you asked Daveed later that night, sitting next to him in bed. He nodded, pulling you into his arms.

“That’s good, how’s your mom doing?” As soon as the words left your lips, Daveed tensed up.

“Who told you?” he stammered, narrowing his eyes.

“Jasmine and Anthony. Although, if you didn’t keep secrets from me, I wouldn’t have had to find out from them or bring it up like this to you,” you ranted, keeping your voice level as to not turn this into a full-blown argument.

“Did you ever think that maybe I can deal with my own problems? I don’t need to burden other people with them, like some people do. Like you,” he scoffed, getting up to walk downstairs.

“Oh, I burden other people? If anything, you’re burdening me with the worry of never knowing what’s going on, or if you’re okay, or if you need anything,” you spat, standing up as well.

“I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you,” he pointed his finger, letting it hit your chest, before grabbing a pillow and walking out of the room.

“Where are you going?” you called after him, walking to the edge of the door.

“I’m sleeping downstairs, I don’t need to be questioned for every move I make,” he remarked, before walking away.

You were left standing in the doorway, not knowing what to think or do, you slowly made your way back to the bed, where you laid down on your back and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out where everything went wrong.

Ten - Stops doing special things

Your hips grinded against Daveed’s, a moan escaping his lips. You took this opportunity to slip your tongue in his mouth, fighting for dominance. You eventually let him win, but mainly because he squeezed your ass, causing a squeal to escape your throat, allowing him to take over with his tongue. He pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses across your jawline, down your neck and to your collarbone.

“Daveed,” you whined, wriggling in his grip.

“What babygirl?” he asked, bringing a hand up to your breast and squeezing, causing you to moan his name breathily.

“I-I need you,” you choked out, getting up and wasting no time in pulling him into the bedroom. As soon as the door was shut behind you, you quickly pulled off your shirt before attaching your lips to his, your hands roaming down his back and across his toned chest and stomach.

Moving your mouths in sync, you both managed to get over to the bed, Daveed lying down first, with you straddling his hips. You didn’t let your lips part at all, with the exception of the short gasps of breath you both desperately needed. You allowed your hands to roam his body, from his abs, to his abundance of curls, to his hips. As his hands roamed around you, his fingertips felt like they left fire across your skin, sending sparks flying with every touch. You fumbled with his belt buckle, pulling it open before pulling his jeans down to his ankles, where he kicked them off. He did the same with your shorts, wasting no time bringing a hand inside your underwear.

“Daveed,” your breath hitched in your throat when he slipped a finger inside of you, toying with you ever so slowly.

“Hm? What was that?” he questioned, his cocky demeanor taking over.

“Please fuck me, like right now,” you practically begged him, but he only stopped. He pulled his pants back on, mumbling things under his breath to himself.

“Wha-what was that?” you stuttered, slightly shocked that he just stopped. Normally he was all into this kind of stuff, so why was tonight any different?

“I just, I, uh, I’m not in the mood,” he said sheepishly, but you could see right through it.

“Bullshit, Daveed,” you accused, gathering your clothes and slipping them on as you walked out of the room.

“What? What’s so wrong with that?” he asked, getting defensive.

“What’s wrong is the fact that you’re lying to me, and I can see right through it,” you spat, yanking the door open and slamming it in his face, leaving him dumbfounded right in your entryway.

Eleven - Doesn’t answer certain phone calls

Things had been going smoothly with Daveed for the most part. Sure, you’d had your fair share of fights over the past few months, but it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

You both were finally off together for once, and you decided to take advantage of it and get dressed up and go out to dinner and a movie. It couldn't be more cliche, but you loved it nonetheless. As you twirled around your room, you and Daveed both getting ready, you sang along with the music blasting from Spotify on his phone. Your music taste varied greatly, from rapping clipping. songs to singing along with Moana.

However, you were in the middle of a verse in Wriggle (which Daveed found insanely attractive when you rapped and moved your hips with the beat) when you were so rudely interrupted by the music stopping and his phone ringing.

He walked over to see who it was, and once he saw the screen his eyes widened and he hurriedly ended the call.

“Who was it babe?” you asked, wrapping your arms around him from behind. He turned around in your embrace, hugging you back.

“No one important. Let's just finish getting ready,” he gave you a smile, his eyes twinkling when he looked at you. You still melted a little when he looked at you like that, but it wasn't something you expected to go away anytime soon.

Not long after, his phone rang again.

“Really? It must be important if they're calling you again. Go on, answer it,” you waved your hand towards his phone that was lying on the bed.

“It's nothing, really. Don't worry about it,” he pecked your lips, continuing to get ready.

“Who was it anyways? I know that if I called someone twice if they didn't answer, it would be for an important reason,” you pressed, not because you were nosy, just because you were generally curious.

“No one. Drop it,” hissed Daveed, defensiveness once again taking over his demeanor.

“I won’t drop it until you tell me who it is,” you argued, crossing your arms and standing in front of him.

“Since when do you need to know my every move? God, every waking moment I spend with you, all you do is cling onto my side like a child! I can’t ever get any space to myself! I might as well introduce you as ‘Hi, I’m Daveed Diggs, and this is my 6 year old daughter, Y/N’” he spat, raising his voice ever so slightly. His words dripped with venom, but it was something you were used to by now.

“I’m childish! Maybe I wouldn’t be like that if you just paid attention to me for once! All of your effort is put into your work. I might as well just be a maid, living here, cleaning up after you, taking care of you. It’s like I work in a goddamn nursing home with a 35 year old man! I do everything for you!” you screamed, letting all hell break loose as the words flew out of your mouth and hit Daveed straight across the face.

As you finished, you were breathing heavily, and Daveed stood on the side of the room with an apologetic look on his face. Tears were threatening to spill over, and you knew he saw that too.

He cautiously stepped towards you, watching your eyes. You shook your head and backed away from him.

“I can’t…” your voice broke, as you slowly stepped back, before turning around and rushing out of the room.

Twelve - Blackouts

Your situation with Daveed hadn’t gotten any better over the course of the past few weeks. You tried, but you couldn’t have a one-sided effort. You were planning on talking to him about it once he got home from work, but he wasn’t back at 4, like he normally was.

You played it off, thinking he was just running behind, finishing up some new verses or recording another part differently.

An hour passed, and you paced around the kitchen, worrying about all of the places he could be. You figured he had just gone out for drinks with the guys and not told you, that’s happened before.

Another 2 hours passed, and still no texts, no phone calls, no physically there Daveed. You were starting to think something bad had happened. What if he got in a car crash? What if he was thinking about the awful things you said to him and he got in an accident? Your pacing became quicker, the glass you were holding in your hand shaking.

You tried to take your mind off of things by watching some sappy movie, but it only made you feel worse about the whole situation. You tried to go to sleep, but you just tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep for more than a few minutes. Finally, at around 3:30am, you got up to get some water. You rubbed your eyes, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass.

Once it was filled, you turned around to take a drink only to be met by Daveed standing in the doorway. The glass slipped from your hand and shattered across the floor, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Jumping over the glass, you ran over him and hugged him as tightly as you could. You wrapped your legs around his waist and buried your face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

“I was so worried, I thought something happened, I didn’t know where-” you rambled, only to be cut off.

“I’m sorry, I was out. My phone died,” he stated plainly.

“That’s it? You were out? That’s all I get?” you asked. He shrugged.

“No big deal,” he said, starting over to clean up the pieces of broken glass.

“No big deal? Daveed I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere,” you croaked, looking at him with sad eyes.

“I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m fine, don’t worry,” he kissed your forehead before continuing.

“I’m going to bed,” you said vaguely, trudging up the stairs.

“G’night,” he called after you, but the door was already shut.

Thirteen

Coming home from work was one of the few things you looked forward to. All you wanted to do was curl up in some sweats and fuzzy socks and watch Gossip Girl while eating ice cream.

Starting up the stairs to your front door, you were surprised to find it already unlocked. Upon opening it, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, meaning Daveed must already be home. This didn’t happen often, he had been working later a lot of the time lately.

“Daveed?” you called out into the house.

“Coming,” he called back, stumbling down the stairs in a pair of sweats and no shirt. You raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to look down at himself.

“Oh, uh, surprise?” he said, but it came out more like a question.

“I’m sorry, I’m not really in the mood,” you sighed, heading towards the stairs.

“Wait!” Daveed grabbed your arm and pulled you back, taking you by surprise.

“What? Need help with something?” you chuckled, glancing down.

“What? God, no, how about we stay down here for a little bit?” he said, giving you one of his mile-wide grins.

“We can right after I change out of these clothes,” you said, wiggling out of Daveed’s grip and starting towards the stairs. You noticed a burgundy scarf lying on the bottom step. Picking it up, you turned to Daveed.

“What’s this?” you asked, knowing you didn’t own anything like it.

“It’s, uh, it’s a little gift to say I’m sorry,” he quickly thought, although you didn’t buy it.

“Then why does it smell like floral perfume? You know I don’t wear that,” you countered, taking a step towards him. He seemed to shrink back, shuffling backwards.

“I, uh, it was my mom’s! Yeah,” his voice turned up and the end, raising more suspicion.

“Oh, okay, well I’m just gonna go change…” you trailed off, shaking off the weird feeling and jumping the steps two at a time.

“Y/N wait,” he called after you again, but it was too late.

All it took was 3 seconds.

One to turn around.

One to open the door.

And one more to be met with a girl lying in your shared bed.

Not just any girl either, but your best friend.

You felt the tears drip down your face and onto your shirt before you even noticed you were crying. Briskly wiping the tears away, you whipped around to face Daveed.

“You,” the word broke you, it all becoming too real.

There was always a nagging thought in the back of your head that he would find someone better. Someone skinnier, someone smarter, someone prettier. He always pushed that off with a ‘I love you and only you, I always will’.

You never thought that the person he replaced you with would be your best friend.

It felt as if there was a ton of bricks dropped on your chest, like you were underwater trying so desperately to reach the surface only to have the air slip farther and farther away.

You were shaking, your lungs feeling like they were on fire. You sharply took in a breath, shaking your head at Daveed.

“I give you everything. I do everything for you, and this is what I get in return?” you ask helplessly.

“Look, Y/N, I know you’re upset but-”

“But what? What could you possibly have to say?”

“I still love you,” he croaked, his voice breaking.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have broken me,” you countered, shaking your head.

You stumbled backwards towards the door, rushing to get outside as fast as you could. You still couldn’t breathe, tears blurring your vision. You slammed the door, sliding down the front side of it until you were sitting, head in your hands, shaking and sobbing. He broke you.

Three years managed to get thrown away in three seconds, all because of thirteen reasons.