#guys middlepaw needs a hug

[fen-the-space-dragon]

Mk uhhhh Middlepaw backstory time? I think it’s time for that (as in I wish to share the magic words that cause maximum emotional damage to my little child here so that YOU TOO can cause them emotional damage if you so wish. Cuz I enjoy making my ocs miserable and I swear I’m not a psychopath… also I feel like I should prob just explain their backstory along with those magic words)

There’s also a tldr at the end cuz this is really long

Mk, starting at the begining:

Middlepaw was born outside the clan to two rogue parents. They also had two siblings named Eldest and Youngest (you can tell their parents loved them very much naming them after their birth order /j). They didn’t really stay in any one spot long and tended to travel around a bunch, eventually wandering near Mommyclan. They figured it might be nice to live in a larger group where everyone kinda helps take care of everyone. Plus Youngest was sick and none of them knew much about healing, so they kinda needed Mommyclan’s help anyway

They wound up joining the clan and while the parents refused to take warrior names, they did change their kit’s names to fit in with the clan (Eldestkit, Middlekit, and Youngestkit). The parents would constantly fuss over Youngestkit and didn’t really give much attention to their other kits. Eldestkit was pretty much only given attention when being told to watch their siblings or see if the elders or anyone needed anything. They were pretty much just given chores and responsibilities

Middlekit on the other paw, was pretty much just ignored. Whenever they tried to get their parent’s attention, they were just told to go away, or that their parents were busy, or to go play with some other kits or something. At first they would directly try to get attention (mostly from their parents, but also sometimes from other cats), but slowly stopped doing that as it didn’t work with their parents who also didn’t like their kit pestering other clan members. “Stop annoying our clanmates. You don’t want us to get kicked out because of you, do you? Youngest kit would die if we got kicked out, you know that right?”

They stopped pretty quickly after that and instead tried to get attention other ways. They practiced “catching prey” (pouncing on rocks and moss and stuff), climbing, running, etc. They became a bit of a tryhard and wanted to be the best at like everything, that way maybe someone would acknowledge them for being good at something. They got frustrated a lot though, seeing as you can’t really just flip a switch and instantly be good at everything. They’d get upset when other kits beat them in a race or play fight or were just better than them at anything. Eldestkit would try to comfort them when this happened, but it didn’t work much. Middlekit wound up deciding that they just aren’t good at anything and are useless. They stopped really doing things and just kinda sat in the nursery and watched other cats. (This was towards the end of them being a kit. They were almost 6 moons old at this point. Youngestkit also got better at some point near the end of “tryhard Middlekit” and the begining of “sad Middlekit”)

Middlekit and their siblings were apprenticed (this reminds me Middlepaw needs a mentor lol) and lots of pressure was put on Eldestpaw by their parents to pretty much be perfect. “You need to do better. If we’re not useful, do you think they’re gonna keep us around? You need to be better than the apprentices who were born here or what reason will they have not to throw us out?” Youngestpaw was babied and given a lot of slack by their parents who used their former illness as an excuse to treat them better than their siblings (it was really just favoritism). Aaaand Middlepaw… who is Middlepaw? Yea, they basically never interacted with Middlepaw at this point and honestly kinda forgot that they were their kid unless someone metioned it and then they were like, “Oh, yeah! Middlepaw! Of course! We love Middlepaw! They’re so uh… good. They’re a good kid… yea :)” and then prob changed the topic to one of their other children

About a moon after being apprenticed, Eldestpaw, Youngestpaw, and their parents went on a “family walk” (without Middlepaw ofc cuz who’s Middlepaw? Eldestpaw mentioned that Middlepaw wasn’t there actually, but the parents were just like, “Eh. We don’t want them here. You two are the better children. Besides, they barely talk to us. They’re basically not even in the family anymore,” blaming Middlepaw for the distance between them and their family) and uh… they just never came back from the “walk”

When Middlepaw realized they weren’t coming back and had gone on a “walk,” they shut down even more than they had before. If anyone showed concern for what had happened to their family, Middlepaw would just tell them that their family is fine. “It’s just what they do,” is prob about the most explanation they’d give, but they seem to know what happened

For about a moon, they just kinda moped around. They would do things they were told to do, but only about the bare minimum before going to find a nice corner to be sad in. They didn’t really put much effort into anything and especially didn’t talk to or interact with anyone who didn’t start the interaction first. Even then, they’d try to end the interaction as quickly as possible

During the “sad Middlekit” bit, they also started talking to objects a bit, but it was only a little bit here and there and not nearly as much as they do now. They began a lot of their odd habits once their family left as kind of a way to cope with feeling so lonely and they started talking to things that weren’t cats a lot more than they previously did

More recently, they’ve slowly stopped moping so much and don’t try to end social interactions. They still usually don’t start them, but they will try to keep them going once someone else starts them. They’re also much less of a “sad quiet” now and more of just a “doesn’t have friends” kind of quiet. Also, they kinda tried to hide things like talking to themselves and objects before, but now they don’t kinda in hopes of someone noticing that they exist because of it

Also, their parents would try to kinda hide how they treated Middlepaw and Eldestpaw from others and if anyone ever said anything about that to them, they’d just try to brush it off like, “oh, it was a one time thing,” “tough love, you know?” “sometimes you just gotta be a little hard on them. It doesn’t phase them though”

Aaand uh yea. Btw, those magic words I was talking about in the begining are just anything along the lines of “go away,” “stop being annoying,” “I’m busy right now,” etc. Pretty much anything that resembles an excuse their parents would use to get them to go away

Tldr: Middlepaw had crappy parents who ended up abandoning them and leaving them emotionally fucked up and that’s why they have all their weird habits and don’t really start social interactions much :)

Why do I do this?