#guilty by association is a common theme here

[the-one-that-weeps]

Hello, here I am coming from the shadows for one last thought since the Nene teaser will prob leave me unconcious for the rest of the month.

I think there is something really interesting and fucked up colorpalet could do with what they're setting up with Rui.

There have been two Main things (that aren't Asahi) that are still unadressed sore spots for Rui :

-Him feeling like he's selfish/greedy

-His insecurity at not helping Tsukasa or Nene in Tsukasa2/Nene4 (for nene4 it was shown in a side card story) (also slightlyyyy hinted at Tsukasa3 ???)

Considering how colorpalet really emphasizes how kind Rui is, what I think could make for Rui legitematly being brought down to his lowest is make him believe that he is the "villain" or simply that he's somehow in the wrong for what he's doing/done.

Sounds like it could be coming out of nowhere but during WxS's training arc there was been a lot of indirect themes of betrayal going on that I think just repeat themselves a bit too much to be ignored especially in Rui4 with the whole "the villain was your friend all along !". People associate this with Sakaki and I kinda do too but it is just like...

You know how there is kind of a trope sometimes of RPG's having one of the team members ending up as the final boss (not common enough to be really a trope but it's something i've seen a lot of times). This is the vibes this is giving me.

It would also fit extremely well with Rui's whole thing of being "the villain" everytime WxS do plays.

It would also fit extremely well with his bloomfes which seems to kind of hint at Rui feeling guilty for being in such a well off/positive situation. I mean Kanade's bloomfes seemed to foreshadow her own path towards what she wants to do so we can assume Rui's bloomfes is there to foreshadow whatever Rui would go through.

Maybe Rui will be influenced by Sakaki to believe his decision during the disbandement arc was wrong/immoral which, I don't think would cause very Great Things. Especially when Asahi is in the background T-Posing.

Anyways going back into the mist cya !

Ohh... Yeah...

Actually I think the conflict from Tsukasa2 has either died down or has just. Joined the overall pile of regrets Rui contains. The conflict that in my opinion could possibly affect him as of now would be the regret about what happened in Mizu5. He was there for a reason and he's one of Mizuki's best friends so that's bound to come up again.

The Sakaki theory seems based to me. I also see the reasons why Rui would start feeling like a bad person again (because it HAS been hinted in the past... Many stories, like you said) but I'm hesitant about what colopalette might do with it because... I really don't want it to look like Rui's just returning to square one? He's grown so much and it's been a really good journey, in his bloomfes he affirms that he remembers the pain of his past and it's not as jarring anymore. He's healing— so unless Colopale takes a very specific route in order to make him feel inadequate again I'm kind of worried if that character development will be erased

I don't mean this in a "he's healed now he'll never struggle with feeling like a bad person again!!!" Way, I mean it in the way that Rui HAS, objectively, learnt new things about relationships while being with wxs. I don't want him to forget all of them. I trust sega will make it good, seeing they did just that with Mizu5 (the fear of rejection is there, but so is the learned truth about Ena's kindness) but still.

I feel like the next Rui events will be very stressful ones. Asahi + Sasaki + all the other wonderful things going on in Rui's life right now basically. Also Rui still hasn't told Tsukasa and Emu about his past and technically no one in wxs knows what happened to him in middle school so... Maybe there'll be a story for that? Not necessarily since Revival my dream was already very backstory focused, but a man can dream

[lucysarah-c]

hi! i have a question. Why are you so fixated on the stereotype of the "good girl"? like being innocent, not understanding innuendos, being a virgin in most cases. Im just curious, im not judging.

anyways thanks for answering!

Hi love! How are you?

First, it may seem that way because those are common requests and prevalent themes in Holy Ground. Many of my spin-offs and main fic delve into those topics, but I also have one shots like "Ackerman's Blood," "Levi and the First Encounter," "Backfire," "Tea-Time," and "An Old-Fashioned Girl" that explore different themes.

Second, I'm working on three requests about a sweet innocent girl; Tumblr has a niche audience, and readers often ask for similar themes after enjoying one work. I write what is requested 😅

Third, I genuinely enjoy crafting diverse female characters, even if they aren't the main focus. Characters like Linda and Nifa from Holy Ground, as well as Emma from "Levi and the First Encounter," hold a special place for me. And they are far from the "sweet innocent girl" 🤣

Fourth, my favorite guilty pleasures include "top Levi, omegaverse, and corruption kink." These themes have become associated with my work, attracting followers who like them. I find joy in portraying a tough-looking character like Levi dating a girly girl. The simple headcanon of him emptying his Jean's pockets and them being full of "lip gloss, pastel pink scrunchies, etc" because he carries those for her make me want to giggle.

I have fellow writers here with different takes on Levi and various MCs, showcasing the diversity of interpretations for each scenario. There are blogs that only write "sub Levi" or "yandere characters" and there's nothing wrong on that. I feel like usually people follow you for a reason and also because they may be your favourite topics to write and therefore that's your main content in Tumblr.

Hope that helps!

[sailing-through-hawkins]

tagged by @xenon-demon @rogueddie and @a-little-unsteddie (≧∇≦)ﾉ

this took me SO LONG to compile because not only did i change my username to be like three times longer but i also added a challenge for myself to use songs i associate with steve (and tumblr deleted my drafts. three times.)

i've also added why i associate them with steve because some of these options may seem odd and also because i love going off about my steve thoughts (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

edit: FORGOT TO ADD THE RULES -

put a song for each letter in your url! either in a reblog or new post!

S: Solar Powered by Fulton Lee, Jacob Sigman

(i imagine a very light-hearted rollerskating session with Steve and Max during summer time, both pulling fancy moves while the rest of the UD gang cheer them on)

A: A Little Bit Happy by TALK

(this gives me Steve talking about how Robin sees him, major self-esteem issues, etc etc)

I: I Was Made For Lovin' You by KISS

(this is the one KISS song i put on loop, and like to me, steve feeling like he was made to love just hits different)

L: Lovely (cover) by Lauren Babic

(i ADORE this artist and this particular cover makes me think about separated stobin in the russian bunker, major angst, 5k with a happy ending -)

I: I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen

(i started listening to springsteen after reading this fic that i highly recommend, and this song just got me, it felt so appropriate for steve)

N: Not Alright by Pink Sweat$

(very big steve coping all alone after he deals with the latest UD incident vibe)

G: Golden Hour by JVKE

(i will always promote sun-and-gold-coded steve, always)

T: The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

(okay this one's a little tricky, but after i started this blog i listened to this song and was struck by a steve-centric animatic concept that would take way too long to explain but the Story is There)

H: Her Song by Kaylee Federmann

(same situation as above but this animatic would be a college au ft. Steve's serial dating)

R: Rot by DBMK

(SUCH A STEVE SONG IF YOU LIKE STEVE BEING GUILTY/INSECURE OVER HIS OLD REPUTATION THIS IS THE THEME YOU NEED)

O: On and On by Djo

(i'll be honest this one is purely because it's by Djo but it's a good vibe!!)

U: Untouched by The Veronicas

(OKAY THIS ONE this one gets me it gives me pining and touch-starved friends-with-benefits steddie, the chorus goes so hard for me)

G: Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen

(it's by queen, it's called lover boy, need i say much more?)

H: Holding Out for a Hero by Adam Lambert

(i was struggling and went through charlie's wonderful playlist and was like oh OF COURSE how did i miss that?? but i went for this version because it really does remind me of steve back in the junkyard)

H: Here's to Being Single by Lost Stars

(ooooh this one!!! it makes me think of stobin lamenting over not being able to get their romantic relationships just right together)

A: Ashes (cover) by Lauren Babic

(again UGH this artist sings so beautifully and this cover really makes me think of the desolation spreading after season 4 and the whole UD gang doing their best to push it back)

W: When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going by Billy Ocean

(i imagine steve thinking about leaving hawkins often and listening to this song while he drops Dustin off just so he can daydream about it)

K: Kids In America by Kim Wilde

(more of a general UD gang vibe, like the camera cuts to each of them prepping for battle and then fighting against every UD creature that comes their way together)

I: (I Just) Died in Your Arms by Cutting Crew

(once again provided by charlie's playlist after i was struggling to find a good match, like hello self-sacrificial steve anyone)

N: Night Vision by Drives the Common Man

(i loooove the chorus in this, and it also makes me think of monster!steve which we know is what i'm all about)

S: Stranger Things by Survival Kit, IAMCOUCHSURF

(yeah this one was purely for the title, also more monster vibes ( •̀ ω •́ )✧)

i'm too tired to tag anyone so if you see this and wanna try it out yourself, consider this me tagging you!!

[americanegg]

Watching these level 2 peeps fight a fiend when a good chunk of the party is either unconscious or about to be and the only cleric they have getting super low had me fucking s t r e s s e d

[resowrites]

Strangers In The Night - a Capt. Syverson oneshot.

Summary: Capt. Syverson’s wife is glad to finally have him home but something about his manner has changed and she’s determined to find out what…

Pairings: AU!Capt. Syverson x Wife!OC

Warnings: 18+only MINORS DNI, angst, fluff, language, adult themes, mention of mental health issues/night terrors, mention of war & associated injuries/casualties, relationship difficulties/argument, allusion to smut, lightly proofread.

WC: 2058

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! No copyright infringement intended, gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Strangers In The Night - a Capt. Syverson oneshot.

The cool night air fluttered the curtains and sent a gentle breeze towards their bed. Unfortunately, it did nothing to comfort Capt. Syverson, who'd been twisting and turning in his sheets for the last forty minutes. His wife watched on helplessly, not knowing whether it was better to wake him or let the nightmare pass in its own time. He'd been home from deployment the last two weeks and was so far struggling to adjust back to civilian life. From what she could gather, it had been a particularly bad tour. Though he'd been lucky to get back without any injuries, a couple of his comrades weren't so lucky. She was dreading him going back in another six months' time.

He'd started moaning now, having some invisible conversation she wasn't privy to. If only she could reach inside his head and pull him back, or at least provide reassurance so he could finally get some proper rest. They didn't really talk about his job, and it seemed this was common amongst the other military wives she knew. The best advice they could give her was to allow him the time and space to acclimate on his own terms. However, that made their relationship much more difficult, they spent so much time apart as it was and all she wanted to do was feel close to him when he returned. His mood at the moment seemed particularly low and she'd already contacted the doctor for their opinion.

Her husband was stubborn however and not keen on taking anyone's advice. She understood his mistrusting behaviour, his career depending on him being mindful of his surroundings and every move he and his men made. If only he was able to let his guard drop once he returned, then things might be a bit easier for them both. She gently rubbed circles over the centre of his chest, being careful not to let the fabric bunch up under her fingers. He seemed to murmur in response. She hoped that somewhere inside him, he recognised her touch and felt heartened by it. She remembered when he left all those months ago, they'd had a huge fight two days before he was due to leave and she spent the rest of their time apart feeling terribly guilty. They had a great relationship despite their difficulties, and she knew he felt just as bad about having to leave her so soon after he'd already been away.

It was a lonely life without him, though she tried her best to busy herself with her work. She also had a military wife support group though she occasionally avoided attending when she saw how bitter some of the other attendees were. Especially when they recounted their horror stories. She just wished there was more she could do to ease his pain. He was a decent man and loving husband, he didn't deserve to witness the horrors he'd seen. Almost as if on queue, his eyes flung open as he desperately gasped for air. She hurriedly held up a glass of water to his mouth and he drank back most of it automatically. "Hey, it's alright honey. I'm here, you're safe." It took a moment or two for him to fully come round, the edges of sleep not fully dispersed just yet. Eventually, he sighed and screwed his eyes shut, as though everything would look different when he opened them again. But he had the same pained look on his face and she decided she should at least make him more comfortable. She got up to the bathroom and held a flannel under the cold water tap. By the time she climbed back into bed, he was sitting up, his head resting against the headboard. She swiped his temple a couple of times before he irritatedly batted her hand away. She said nothing as she turned back around and sighed.

"I'm sorry darlin.’ I, I just, don't like bein' treated like a kid." Although it was obvious she was just trying to help, she didn't want to start arguing in the middle of the night. She pulled the covers up to her neck and turned off the light she figured he must have reached over to turn on. She heard him sigh just as sleep started pulling her towards the darkness. She groaned as the bedside light then snapped on again, and he lifted his bulky frame from off the top of her shoulders.

"I'm sorry okay? Don't think I'm bein’ ungrateful, I know you were just tryin’ to help." She could feel tears well up in her eyes now though she wasn't sure why exactly. She supposed it was just their shared frustration at the moment. When she began sniffling, he curled his body towards her and began palming her shoulder with his big, tough hand.

"Shh, shh… I'm sorry. Really sweetheart, please don't cry." She wiped her nose but otherwise ignored him. She didn't have any more to say at that moment that would have made the situation better. She heard him rub his shaved head in defeat, before swinging out of his side of the bed. She figured he was just going to the toilet but when she heard the taps run again and water splashing the floor, her sadness soon turned to anger.

"For God’s sake, don't get that all over the floor… someone will damn well trip tomorrow morning." He fiercely twisted the taps and stared her down hard.

"What the hell is the matter with you? You've had a face as long as a wet weekend since the moment I got back. Did you not want me home, is that it?" She looked at him in sheer disbelief. She'd even prepared a load of decorations to put up, but he returned home two days early and in the middle of the night to boot. She didn't even realise he got back until the next morning.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I was counting down the days till you got back. Though Lord knows why!" She turned on her heels and grabbed the duvet off the bed, he could have the bed but she'd be damned if he was going to be kept warm.

"Darlin’ wait, I'm sorry alright? You don't have to go downstairs." She huffed as she threw the duvet back onto the bed, and stood facing him hands on hips.

"You know you can talk to me? You don't have to go through all this alone. I'm your wife, you don't have to hide anything from me." He rubbed his eyes now and slumped onto the end of the bed. It wasn't that simple, if he didn't want to worry her any further there were some things he'd have to keep to himself.

"It's not that easy, I made a promise to myself not to bring any o' that shit home with me. It's better for me not to relive it anyway…" Something then clicked in her mind. She knew that one of the men had been killed in action, but she realised it must have been someone close to him. Although it took a while for him to get used to being home again, he wasn't normally so sullen or depressed.

"Darling tell me what happened, it's no good bottling everything up, you'll just make it harder on both of us." He exhaled deeply realising she was right. She always was. He rocked onto his feet and started fishing about his bedside drawer. He pulled something up with a snap and bought it carefully towards her.

"Here, it was Dan… the fella who got blown up. I spoke to him only a coupla minutes before it happened. Left behind a wife and young daughter as well. They're damn well heartbroken. It was all over, just like that..." He snapped his fingers and she saw his eyes glaze over as he replayed the event in his already feverish mind. She didn't know what to say to him. There was no use saying it was a tragedy or there would always be a reason behind these things. Because there wasn't. The reality was that many men were senselessly maimed or killed and he just had to carry on with his job regardless. Then of course there was the possibility that it would be him one day. He was an excellent soldier but no one was untouchable in those circumstances, not even him.

"Do you not think maybe it's time to step down? It's a young man's game darling and after a while, the risks start outweighing the benefits." She knew it was hardly the best time to suggest such a thing, but someone had to tell him the truth and it might as well be her. He looked back down at the photo, holding it with two hands as her words played out in his mind.

"I dunno sweetheart, I hate to have to leave 'em in the lurch. But I suppose you're right, I can't carry on thinkin' I'm invincible." She nodded though he carried on staring at the picture. She thought about Dan's widow and shuddered at the thought of ending up in the same position. But that was enough of those kinds of thoughts for one evening. She carefully plucked the photo from his thickened hands and placed it on the ottoman at the foot of their bed. She then pulled him in by his great big arm and planted a kiss on his dry mouth.

"Listen here soldier, I'll always be here no matter what you decide to do. I think you'd make a wonderful teacher you know? You don't take anyone's shit, you'd be perfect to keep the new recruits in line." He pursed his lips as he considered her suggestion. It would mean he could come home to her every night and be a proper husband for once. He had to admit it was tempting. He hugged her close to his chest, his arms like a vice as they locked around the top of her back. It was so good just to be able to smell her again, the crook of her neck smelling like talc and bed warmth. He growled against her skin causing her to giggle at the sensation.

"You silly boy, I have missed you though. God, I worried about you… what would I do without my skinhead huh?" She rubbed the sides of his bristly head before placing another kiss on his sweaty forehead.

"You'd be fine darlin.' I know you, you're a tough ol' bird… always have been." At this, she kicked him in the shin. He started hopping about on one leg, the pain being far worse than he expected.

"That'll damn well teach ya. And you're not going anywhere soon, not if I have anything to do with it." He looked back up at her with a devilish grin and before she knew it, he hauled her into a fireman's lift, spinning around in tight circles. She shrieked as the blood began rushing to her head.

"Put me down, you idiot! God, what will our neighbours think?" She was more than a little dishevelled by the time her feet found the ground again. He chuckled as he smoothed down her hair while she patted down her nightdress.

"Hey, don't worry about that gettin’ wrinkled… it'll be on the bedroom floor before long." She scoffed and swatted him on the arm, causing him to wince even though she didn't hit him that hard. "Careful darlin,’ I'm a bit sore. We had to move all our equipment by ourselves on the last day and I'm still covered in bruises." She gave him a mock sympathetic look and waddled back towards the bathroom. When he called out after her, she shot him a knowing look over her shoulder. For the first time in weeks, he grinned from ear to ear.

"Let's take a shower together, there's many things I'm willing to put up with but sleeping alongside a big sweaty ape ain't one of them." He charged at her now, lifting her off the ground and over his shoulder before she could protest. He then swatted her backside just as he kicked the bathroom door closed behind him. She'd expected it to be a long, restless night, though not quite like this.

A/N: I hope you guys like this new Henry Cavill oneshot, I enjoy creating pieces for characters I don’t normally use, so I hope I did ok! Please feel free to send me any more requests for stories/series. I love hearing from you all! Thanks so much for all your continued support and I hope you enjoy the story ~ Reso x

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@marytudorbrandon @greensleeves888 @gearhead66 @inlovewithhisblueeyes

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

[bangtangalicious]

cancelled (2) | myg, jjk

summary: you cheated on your boyfriend, one of the most sought after boys on campus, with the nerd from the back of the lecture hall. now a video has leaked across and everyone is turning against you for hurting such a perfect s/o.

pairing: yoongi x reader ft jungkook

wordcount: 3.7k

genre: smut, yandere!yoongi and nerd!jungkook exyandere!jungkook

established-relationship!au college!au cheating!au

warnings: reader discretion is advised. penetrative sex, unprotected sex, really steamy sex, ring tease (is that a thing), yoongi is a master with his tongue but we knew this, manipulative behavior, yandere behavior, controlling, dirty talk, guilting, mentions of past dubcon activity, illicit filming, mentions of mental illnesses, gaslighting, toxic behavior. this is pretty dark so dont read if it bothers you

twoshot: part 1 | part 2 | masterlist

There are some scents we find comforting. Not necessarily because of the nature of the scent itself, but because of a memory associated with it. For you this scent was Yoongi’s burnt pancakes. They were not good, he knew that and so did you. But your heart would almost burst with joy at the gesture, and you could never quite deny him when he would ask to make you breakfast. The way his kitten like eyes would be full of excitement, eager to please you.

In this case, the scent made you feel guilt. A common theme over the past few days after the entire school had access to a livestream of you cheating on the most loveable, pure and kind guy on campus.

But he was not mad.

Something stirred in you. You wished he was angry, wished that you two would fight it out. At least that would result in a resolve of some sort. You were now simply immersed in a stale mate. Not forgiven, but not accused. Not innocent but not guilty.

You had blocked Jungkook right away, not even entertaining how he would be handling the situation. You had bigger problems.

And those problems manifested into your sweet boyfriend making you pancakes.

“Here you go baby” He handed you a plate. Not an ounce of negativity was seen in his eyes. You felt like you were going insane.

Your phone beeped, another notification. You were not even shocked to see it was just another random person yelling at you for what you had done’ You’d seen it all�� death threats, people telling you you were the scum of the earth. Internet hate knew no boundaries. You had lost all your friends. Even your family caught news and did not want to speak with you at the moment. All you had was Yoongi.

“Listen y/n” Yoongi kelt down in front of your seat, placing his hands on your knees affectionately. “I know things are hard right now. If you want, you and I can leave this place. We can leave and go somewhere else where people won’t know about all this.”

Tears escaped the edges of your eyes, “We can’t just leave…No one will hire me, a background check will show up with PornHub on the first search result. I’m ruined.”

“I’ll get the video taken down y/n. Clearly that guy did not have your consent to post it.”

“That isn’t the point” You screamed, grasping his hands firmly as you sobbed, “Everyone knows it happened. They know I was unfaithful. To you. The love of my life. Literally the most perfect angel of a human ever. I’m so horrible I don’t even know why I did it I just…”

Yoongi kissed the tops of your hands. “I know…he manipulated you didn’t he? Guys are the worst. He made you think you wanted it.”

For some reason you were not that mad at Jungkook. Maybe it was because you were too occupied with your own guilt. You did not feel like he coerced you, but telling Yoongi that wouldn’t have really mattered.

“Come on baby. Let’s move somewhere. And let’s get married. I’ll be able to give you what you need. You’ve been such a good girl for holding out so long. We can start over, together, away from all this. There’s nothing else here for us”

The idea was tempting, but your heart clenched thinking you would never see this beautiful campus again. Your friends, your classmates, none of them.

Yoongi reached into his pocket and brought out a small velvet pounch. In it was a dainty little diamond ring, the studs circling in a simple and elegant design. He held the ring to you and you simply gaped at him.

“Baby…You know I love you. I know you love me. So you messed up, who doesn’t? You’re human, and I denied you of what you needed and I am sorry for that. Marry me y/n. Marry me and leave this place with me. Let’s go where no one can ever find us, and be together forever”

You were too young for this. Sure, being in a long-term relationship might not have the same freedoms as being single, but being married was a whole other level of commitment. You knew it would come eventually, but it was still so sudden. But how could you say no? What right did you have to deny the kindness and love of this man after what you did to him? You couldn’t be an even bigger bitch and end your relationship after this could you? It would look so bad. People would think you dumped him because he didn’t want to have sex, which would make you look like a slut and then…

Your mind was dizzy. Yoongi simply chuckled, beginning to kiss the tops of your knees. Inching slowly in the direction of your thighs.

Once his lips were close enough to the hems of your pajama shorts that you were sensitive, you let out a surprised yelp. Yoongi grinned, face still pressed in the inside of your thigh, ring in hand. He wiggled his tongue in a way to push past the cloth, looking up at you briefly with a twinkle in his eye before his hot tongue barely traced your heat.

“Y…yoongi” Your heart rate picked up as Yoongi bit the crotch of your shorts and began to drag it down. It was an erotic sight, and you couldn’t help but feel shivers as you anticipated his next move. Then he did something shocking. He took the diamond ring and placed it flat against your exposed clit, his finger in the circle holding it against you. The cold metal felt amazing. He slowly dragged the ring along your folds, watching as you twitched. He lined the ring up with your entrance and next thing you know he shoved his finger through the ring and into you. You cursed loudly.

“Just say yes. Say you’ll marry me and I’ll give you everything you need baby girl”

He twisted the ring harshly against you causing you to squirm. “F…fuck yes. I’ll marry you. I love you. I love you” You were chanting like it was your mantra. Yoongi grinned and slid this ring onto your finger. He stared momentarily at your hand before returning his gaze to you and capturing your lips in a deep kiss. He kissed you with a hunger you had never quite felt from him before.

“I love you y/n. Now it’s just you and me.” He whispered as he trailed kisses down to your collar, using his skilled tongue and teeth to wiggle off each button, his hands planted on your thighs. He disrobed you, sliding your body to the edge of the chair in order to give him access. You let your legs spread wide. You almost couldn’t believe what was happening.

You had dreamt of this moment for so long. The day you would finally be able to have your boyfriend’s cock buried deep in you. The day where you could curse out his name in pleasure and love him right like he deserved.

Yoongi got up to take off his own clothes. You had never seen him fully naked before, just his chest. You always had an inkling he was big, after feeling him get hard after steamy make-out sessions. Him then politely stepping away to calm down, then cuddling with you affectionately.

His cock popped out, already hard and eager. You couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight. Yoongi shook his head to try to get his hair out of his eyes, and an evil smirked played his lips. He stroked his cock harshly while looking at you.

“Look at you” He sneered, “My little slut, so eager for me. You needed cock so bad you’d just go anywhere for it isn’t that right hm?” You shook your head.

“Yoongi…I’m yours…I just want you” You tried to spread your legs even wider, the chair beneath you pressing into your back uncomfortably.

Yoongi walked up close so that he was standing inches away from where your legs were splayed out for him. “Show me how sorry you are you whore” He spat. You whimpered, his words hitting too close to home. You blinked back tears as he slowly lowered himself onto you, the rails of the chair almost cutting into your skin, making you wince in pain.

“Yoongi…let’s go to the bed…” You suggested weakly as his kisses found your breasts and he nipped away at you. He shook his head, allowing his face to pummel in the suffocation of your tits.

“Do you deserve the bed?”

“No but…” You looked away, “It’s our first time”

Yoongi paused, his head still rested against the valley of your chest. He got up suddenly and gripped your hips, picking you up off the chair into his arms. Your naked legs wrapped around him, and your wet core could feel his toned stomach. You couldn’t help but grind at the friction. Yoongi kissed you again, gentler now, his lips swallowing you in so that you could feel every ounce of his pure love. He carried you to the bed and slowly released you onto you back.

He stroked himself a few more times before lining himself up with your entrance. You were soaking at this point, your pussy drooling for cock.

“I love you” He said, not looking at you so much as the desperate clenches of your pussy onto nothing.

“I love you too babe” Now he looked at you. A dark gaze had overtaken him. The love in his eyes was absolutely gone, and there seemed to me a strange aura of anger.

“You’re mine y/n. Once this cock goes in, it’s the only cock you’re ever going to get.”

��I know baby”

“I’m going to fuck you. All the time. You and me, just you and me. You’re all mine. All mine to play with”He started to rub his cock in circles against you, “My little girl, sweet little whore all for me to fuck whenever I want to.” He entered you in one thrust, causing you to yelp as the push of the girth against your walls was too sudden for you to adjust.

“Gonna fuck you up so good” He exhaled, funding into you mercileslly, “My wife, my beautiful fucking wife. My little cocksleeve, baby girl ohhhh” You squirmed in frustration as Yoongi came inside you, his hot seed reaching the depths of you and filling you to the brim. “Shit. You felt so good baby, I’m sorry”

You shook your head. You were more than pleased with the experience. “It’s okay baby.”

“I’ll make it up to you” He pulled out and rolled you into his embrace, nuzzling his face into your chest. “I’ll make you cum so many times baby, we have forever to do it. You’re all mine now”

“Yes baby, all yours”

-

Jungkook bit his nails nervously. He had called up an old hacker friend to help him get into Yoongi’s computer. Something was off. Jungkook would know. Cameras? It had to be Yoongi. It made too much sense, but the question was why. Why would he want the whole school to see someone else fucking his girlfriend?

“Jungkook” His friend, Seokjin, was typing away frantically into a large computer, “Bro this is fucking insane”

“What?” Jungkook rolled his seat up to get a better look at the screen. They now had accessed Yoongi’s servers, and there was all the incoming footage from various cameras all around campus. Under each panel was a small description: Y/n’s biology class, Y/n’s favorite bathroom, etc.

“This guy keeps fucking tabs on his bitch yo. I thought you said they’d been together for a while”

“They have…” Jungkook peered at the footage. “Somehow I don’t think she knows he watches her like this”

“No shit” Seokjin made wild eyes at Jungkook sarcastically and smacked him. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“I have to tell her. Something is fucked here”

“Look, I don’t know these people, but I have heard about guys sort of isolating their girls so that they become really, like, dependent or something. So that they can take them away and do whatever they want. Pretty fucked.”

Jungkook considered his friends words. “You might be onto something…He could be guilting her into staying with him…” Like an epiphany, the pieces fell together, “Marriage. He’s gonna make her marry him.”

“That’s fucked.”

“Dude shut-up,” Jungkook snapped, his protective instinct now in overdrive. “Give me your keys, I need to tell her. I have to go save her”

“Why?” Seokjin chuckled, “It’s really none of your business. You barely know her too, you guys are nothing but classmates” Jungkook’s heart dropped at the statement.

He shouldn’t care right? He was better now. Was interfering in her life just him becoming obsessive again? Was he reading too much into it?

“Fuck. You’re right. I’m insane” He exhaled, “My first instinct was to hack into her boyfriend’s computer uh, I clearly need to calm down” Seokjin hummed in agreement as he continued to click around on Yoongi’s server.

There were a few moments of silence before something inside Jungkook just ticked. She wasn’t safe. He could just tell. She needed him. He had to find her. “No…no, dude. If there is even a slight chance that she’s in danger I can’t…I can’t let that happen” Seokjin shrugged and tossed him his keys. Jungkook let the key ring twirl on his finger as he quickly dashed out of his apartment.

Yoongi and you had been at it for hours, not being able to get enough of each other’s bodies. You were xausted, laying on the couch butt naked, straddling Yoongi and hugging him tightly. Your skin was sweaty, and so was his. You guys were sticking to one another like glue. The smell of sex was evident throughout the room. You probably would have fallen asleep like that if it weren’t for the sudden phrasing on your door.

“Y/n! Y/n are you in there! It’s Jungkook, please it’s important!” He screamed urgently. Your eyes widened and you looked at Yoongi who simply had a silly grin on his face. He released his hold on you, allowing you to get up

“Um…give me second” You called back, running to your room to find some clothes. Yoongi got dressed as well.

You opened the door and Jungkook popped inside the moment he could fit through the crack.

“I…I need to show you something” Jungkook glanced at Yoongi who was simply grinning with an interested expression. “In my apartment…please…look I know you don’t want to be seen with me, but I promise you I did not film us. I didn’t even want” Yoongi glared at him and he shut his mouth, “Look please, please Y/n you have to believe me. Come over and I’ll show you”

He was gripped your forearms tightly and you wiggled away. “Um…I’m definitely not going to go to your apartment Jungkook” You scoffed, “Just say what you have to say right here”

Jungkook gulped, and Yoongi licked his lips, extremely amused and anticipating the events that were going to follow.

“Can we talk in private?” Jungkook looked deep into your eyes, searching for any small ounce of trust you might have left in him, and ultimately coming up dry.

“No. Just say what you have to say” You said, crossing your arms.

Yoongi paced over to where Y/n was standing and placed a hand on your hip from behind. Jungkook glared at him and he glared right back.

“It was you” Jungkook said dryly, a serious expression causing him to clench his jaw, “You’re a fucking psycho”

Yoongi tilted his head to the side, “Excuse me?”

“You filmed us. She didn’t tell you to pay me to fuck her did she? Hm? No. You, you paid me to fuck her and you filmed it, you live streamed it so that the whole world could see. All so that she wouldn’t have anywhere to turn but to you. You’re a manipulative bastard and a predator and Y/n” Jungkook met your outraged eyes, “You are not safe with this guy. I have proof”

“What the fuck are you saying? Are you high?” You slapped him harshly.

There was a moment of silence as Jungkook touched the side of his face that you hit, looking back up at you bitterly. “I know it sounds crazy. But he literally has cameras following you around everywhere. He watches your every move. He’s sick. Go to his computer and check if you don’t believe me”

“Actually it’s funny you should say that” Yoongi piped in, a charming expression still on display, “The other day I found something really interesting about you Jungkook” He quickly went and grabbed his laptop, opening it up to show them the screen. “You’re calling me a psyco, but you really just want Y/n all to yourself don’t you. You’re the one who’s a creep. I mean,” He scoffed, “I can’t believe you filmed this” He pressed play.

The blood drained from Jungkook’s face. It was a video of you and him. All those years ago. Fucking senselessly, two horny teenagers, all over your house.

Your mouth hung open in shock. You blinked, looking from the screen to Jungkook to try to convince yourself what you were seeing was real.

“You…when did this happen…is that me?” You stuttered, the scenes unfolding in the video overwhelming you. It was definitely your house, and he was definitely moaning your name.

“Y/n…No, I…” Jungkook was at a loss for words. He glared at Yoongi, who was smirking still.

Jungkook grabbed your hair and shoved you up against the window, your chest pressing into the glass. Anyone walking past would be able to see your naked body on display. He let his nose trace from your ear to the back of your neck, inhaling your sweet aroma. You whined his name, trembling as his grip tightened and he pulled your hair back.

“You know how many times I’ve wanted to do this? Hm? You know how bad I’ve wanted to just bend you over and fuck you right when I see you? Years. I’ve wanted this for years. Such a sweet…sweet girl. I knew you’d taste so sweet” He thrusted into you and you moaned his name in pleasure. “Just like that my sweet baby, mmm. Scream for me. Tell me how much you love it” He turned you around and picked up through legs, stopping briefly to remove his glasses.

“Wait…” You panted, your breasts heaving with your deep expirations. “Keep them on”

Jungkook smirked.

“Why?”

“I…I like them…I like you…”

You dropped the the floor in shock. You couldn’t remember any of this, but you did remember feeling some type of way about Jungkook’s glasses. You didn’t even want to know what happened. You needed him to leave. You just wanted Yoongi. Yoongi was simple, kind, and loved you. Jungkook was only making life more and more complicated.

“Get out” You growled at him.

“Y/n…please I know how this looks but you have to believe me”

“He’s clearly obsessed with you. Went to your highschool, followed you to college and didn’t even tell you. He’s probably been stalking you this whole time” Yoongi muttered, clicking his tongue in pity, “Poor guy probably has something wired wrong in his head. I hope you get the help you need Jungkook, really. But I think you better go if Y/n doesn’t want you here” Yoongi politely put his hand on Jungkook’s back to lead him out.

“Y/n! He’s crazy. Yoongi is crazy. He paid me to have sex with you I…” Jungkook held up his wrist, “He gave me this watch! Half a million dollars to do it. See?” You looked to see he was in fact telling the truth, Yoongi’s pricey watch was on his wrist. Yoongi turned to you and gave you a concerned look.

“Oh gosh. I’ve been looking for this, I though I lost it somewhere.” He said innocently, sliding the watch off of Jungkook’s wrist. “Did you steal this Jungkook? Look, my buddy knows a really good therapist, I’ll email you his contact information, please do get some help okay”

“No…” Jungkook struggled violently against Yoongi who was calmly trying to push him out the door, “Y/n…please believe me…I…I don’t even like you okay. I don’t!”

You scoffed, hands open aimlessly as you sat on the floor, still dazed. The tape of you and Jungkook still playing.

Finally Yoongi managed to drag Jungkook out. He was gone for a bit, but you didn’t notice because you were lost in pure shock, trying to desperately search your memory for answers.

When Yoongi came back, he was wearing a pair of glasses. “Hi baby. Are you feeling any better? Poor thing” He knelt down by your side.

“Are those Jungkooks?” You asked. Yoongi nodded, taking the frames off into his hands.

“Yeah. I figured if you like them I may as well take them”

“He just gave you his glasses?”

Yoongi paused.

“I just…took them” Right after he beat in his skull with a baseball bat in the alley behind your apartment.

[theparanormalperiodical]

What The Hell Is Satanism? The Backstory, The Beliefs, And The A-To-Z On Devil Worshippers

4 days ago, Nike decided to sue a small indie art collective based in New York.

This isn’t news. This isn’t the first time a profit-mongering fashion-giant has targeted businesses trying to make a name for themselves. And it won’t be the last.

But this time, there’s probably something else influencing the executives reclining on their plush leather seats: they said it was because MSCHF stamped on the Nike Swoosh. But we all know what the real problem was:

These kicks were soaked with Satanic imagery - oh, and a single drop of human blood.

"MSCHF and its unauthorised Satan Shoes are likely to cause confusion and dilution and create an erroneous association between MSCHF's products and Nike”

Translation: no, we don’t want to be associated with devil worshippers.

Satan and his followers have once again hit the press following Lil Nas X’s latest viral YouTube hit and release of his custom footwear. And he does the belief system - and the LGBTQA+ community - justice.

But Satanism goes much deeper than pole dancing your way to hell.

It goes deeper than the fears of your evangelical aunt, it goes deeper than the rumours of a sacrificial ritual that happened in the woods outside of town, and it goes deeper than QAnon conspiracy theories.

Today we explore what Satanism really is. And what it really isn’t.

*twerks towards hell*

What Is Satanism?

Satanism is a group of modern religions that are centred around Satan, an entity in Abrahamic religions (e.g. Christianity and Judaism) that rebelled against God, has power over Hell and demons, and seduces humans into sin. Satan features in a vast number of major religions: he started off in Zoroastrianism, then making his way to Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. But the modern followers of Satanism are inspired by the Christian fallen angel and ruler of hell.

A large proportion of Satanists follow atheistic Satanism - they don’t necessarily believe in an entity but follow a philosophy that focuses on individualism and satisfying the ego, or rebel specifically against the dominance of Christianity in Western society.

Although Satan is typically considered the embodiment of evil, most strands of Satanism are not. However, there are some groups that fit this mould like the Order of the Nine Angles: they’re neo-Nazis.

The actual worship of Satanism only began just over 50 years ago, in 1966. But the use of the term ‘Satanist’ stretches back centuries further. Calling someone a ‘Satanist’ (or something to that effect) was an insult reserved for those that disagreed with a Christian group’s beliefs.

A Not-very-brief-but-look-I-tried-ok History Of Satanism

Here’s the thing about Satanism: at one point in history, every religious group was deemed Satanist. 

You see, that’s how it all started.

Even the term ‘Satan’ originally meant ‘adversary’. It didn’t necessarily refer to a horned, evil ex-angel once scorned by the Almighty. It meant ‘other’; it was just an insult. It wasn’t created by groups of men draped in blood red robes preparing to slaughter a virgin to their ungodly master - Satanism was actually created by Christians.

The word ‘Satanism’ was first recorded in French and English literature back in the 16th century. Against the backdrop of the Reformation (when the Western Christian Church split off into Protestantism, Catholicism, and other more niche shards) rival religious groups would label each other with such terms frequently in various tracts and texts.

It was not to say that Protestants, for example, were actively worshipping Satan but were instead deviating from what Catholics thought was true Christianity. By ‘incorrectly’ serving God, they were supporting Satan’s claim to ruin the world with sin and evil.

*Disney villain laugh*

In the 19th century it broadened to encompass anyone that lived an immoral lifestyle and was thus serving Satan’s will. But in this same century it evolved yet again.

Yep, it’s time to introduce the actual Satanists: texts began to emerge that mention people that revered and worshipped Satan. It took a long 300 years for Satanists to reclaim their title. But the story doesn’t end here: this is a really important theme that runs like blood through the history of Satanism. Or, rather, the history of religious prejudice and persecution.

Throughout, well, all of human history, we have been swept up unto the belief that there is a dark, evil force lurking within our communities. The most recent example claims Joe Biden and his Democrat friends are Satan-worshipping baby-eating America-hating pedophiles. The fears of a discrete force that can hide at will fits the descriptors of the Judeo-Christian devil. And so, it had been applied to persecuted groups for centuries.

The Witch Trials and the Spanish Inquisition are the most famous examples of this. Satanism evolved in the Medieval era to scapegoat certain groups or to reinforce social norms by emphasising the apparently very real fight between good and evil.

Narratives of the French Revolution at the time were contorted with rumours of revolutionaries being part of a secret Satanic conspiracy. This revolution struck a blow to the power of the Catholic church, and some fingers pointed towards the dark lord of hell himself. Some even believed these revolutionaries had amassed supernatural powers to curse people and shape-shift into various creature ‘n’ critters like cats or fleas!

In the 20th century, another historical shift took place. And this time it (supposedly) happened from within the secret societies themselves: non-fiction authors and tabloids began to recount the allegations of people who once claimed to have been part of Satanic groups before converting to Christianity.

Doreen Irvine claimed she was given the ability to levitate amongst other witchy-powers. But Irvine’s claims sent shockwaves across the pond in the US. Much more horrific allegations were about to take centre stage. In the 1980s this would reach its climax with the Satanic Panic:

Also known as the Satanism Scare, the book Michelle Remembers (1980) detailed the alleged repressed memories of a psychiatrist’s patient which claimed they had been abused as a child for Satanic rituals. In these rituals, babies would be sacrificed and Satan would appear.

Reports of sexual child abuse for these rituals - known as Satanic Ritual Abuse - proliferated until the 1983 case made against the McMartin family. The McMartins owned a preschool in California and were allegedly sexually abusing the children in their care for ritualistic purposes. A lengthy trial ensued and the McMartins were eventually cleared of all charges.

But it was too late.

An evangelical anti-Satanism movement emerged claiming no children would lie about such claims and therefore all accused must be guilty. A conspiracy theory similar to those before emerged claiming SRA was rampant across the US, but it lost momentum by the turn of the 90s. Various investigations by the FBI and British government looked into SRA but found no evidence of Satanism or rituals in any cases of child abuse. Some lone cases of pedophiles did involve rituals, but these were isolated events that never involved Satanist groups.

The 7 Types Of Satanism

Satanism is an umbrella term to describe a vast array of religious groups. There’s a swirling sea of beliefs from the philosophical Satanists that don’t actually believe in Satan to the minority groups that are willing to sacrifice humans in the name of worshipping their god.

However, this ocean does share a common focus on individualism, self-perception, and non-conformity - traditional traits associated with the devil.

There are 3 forms of Satanism: reactive (attempts to invert Christianity and celebrates rebellion), rationalist (atheist and materialistic beliefs), and esoteric (actually worships Satan and draws upon religions like Paganism and western Esotericism).

The Church of Satan kick-started modern Satanism. Erected in 1966, Anton LaVey promoted an atheistic philosophy that focused on indulgence and an ‘eye for an eye’ ethical code that celebrated mankind as animals in an amoral world. Hate and aggression were not wrong but were advantageous for one’s survival. Yes, the seven deadly sins were actually beneficial for the individual.

The First Satanic Church was founded on Halloween night in 1999 by the daughter of Anton LaVey after his church was taken over by a new administration that Karla deemed against her father’s work.

The Satanic Temple is an atheist-activist group that stages political ‘pranks’ that rebel against the political and social dominance of Christianity. They aim to showcase religious hypocrisy in stunts such as performing a ‘Pink Mass’ over the grave of a Westboro Baptist Church goer (known for their explicit and offensive signs). They use Satan as a metaphor to rebel against a society that restricts personal autonomy and curiosity.

Luciferianism is a belief system that pivots around the characteristics associated with Lucifer. Followers believe Lucifer is the illuminated aspect of Satan, thus considering themselves Satanists. But some believe he is a more positive force than Satan. They follow the ancient myths of Egypt, Rome, and western Occultism. They consider him the true god - a destroyer but also a ‘light-bringer’ to the world.

The Temple of Set does not necessarily revere Satan by instead a being they call Set. Satan was the corrupted name of set, an entity that is the one true god. It gave humanity intellectual abilities to separate it from animals and they believe in a Setian philosophy with self-deification as the aim of all humanity.

The Order of the Nine Angles was inspired by ancient Pagan groups resident in Shropshire in the late 60s. But the founder of the group, Anton Long, is considered the pseudonym of neo-Nazi David Myatt. They encourage human sacrifice as a part of rituals and several members have joined the police and the military to do this without getting caught. The ONA is linked to several rapes, murders, cases of child abuse, and right-wing terrorism. They are also connected to several neo-nazi terror organisations.

The Joy Of Satan - contrary to its name - ain’t joyful. It’s an Occultist group that combines Satanism, Paganism, and UFO conspiracy theories. Just like the ONA, they’re Nazis. They believe Satan is one of many demonic deities which are powerful humanoid extraterrestrial beings which are equated with ancient gods. They believe Satan created humanity and brought us knowledge.

Reactivism isn’t a form of Satanism that is followed by an organised group but rather practiced on a personal, isolated level. It is considered an anti-social means of rebelling in a society dominated by Christianity. Most reactive Satanists are adolescents, mentally-disturbed, and have taken part in criminal activity associated with Satanic rituals they discovered through personal learning.

For example, in the 1970s two groups of teenagers in LA and Big Sur killed 3 people and ate parts of their corpses as a part of rituals devoted to Satan. Plotted murder and cannibalism are common traits of reactive Satanist crimes.

The A-To-Z Of Devil Worship

Baphomet

A deity that the Knights Templar allegedly worshipped. It is associated with the Sabbatic Goat which represents the equilibrium of opposites (half-man and half-goat, male and female, good and evil).

Black Mass

It is traditionally known as a requiem mass (funeral mass) in the Roman Catholic church from which the celebrants wear black clothes. However, it has been appropriated by Satanic cults. It often involves a naked woman as an altar and is the site of various Satanic magical rituals.

Cutter vs Wilkinson

A Supreme Court case which claimed federal funds cannot deny prisoners accommodations that are needed to engage in religious practices. Five residents of an Ohio prison including a member of a white supremacist Christian church, a Wiccan, and a Satanist filed the suit, claiming the officials failed to accommodate their ‘nonmainstream’ religions.

Devil

The personification of evil which shows up in many different religions. It is Satan in Abrahamic texts.

Demon

A supernatural entity often associated with evil. The original Greek word - daimon - did not have negative connotations.

Demonology

The study of demons.

Demonolatry

The worship of demons.

Goats

Satanism is always associated with goats. But why? There are several reasons: Baphomet is half-man, half-goat; the ‘infernal goat’ is depicted in many witches’ sabbats; Pagan traditions involved horned gods Christian forces deemed devilish; and the tarot card depicting the devil is a goat. In 1966, the church of Satan adopted baphomet as the sigil.

Lucifer

The name of mythological and religious figures associated with Venus. It is associated in the Christian tradition with Satan as he supposedly fell from heaven. Often called ‘the morning star’ or described as ‘light bringing’.  

Stanislaw Przybyszewski

The first guy to promote a Satanic philosophy.

What do you think?

Let me know in a comment below! And while you’re there, make sure you like and reblog this article.

Want to read an article on the paranormal every Saturday? And a real ghost story everyday/whenever I’m bothered? Hit follow!

[maxwell-grant]

Speaking of Tod Slaughter... any thoughts on Grand Guignol theater..?

Looking back on it, the first time I encountered the term Grand-Guignol was also the first time I looked at Fantomas, when I picked up the book above titled The Theater of Grand Guignol, which is all too fitting as Fantomas is Grand-Guignol to it's core. It's also a term that I've seen applied a couple of times to The Spider as well as some darker fan reinterpretations of Batman. Like film noir and sword-and-sorcery, it's a term for a type of storytelling that's associated with dime novels and pulps, influenced and was influenced by them in return, but isn't really the same thing and is, in fact, a separate "genre" (not quite the right term).

Indeed, if the common cultural association of pulp is that of something trashy and violent and darker than it's contemporary culture, one can see Grand-Guignol as perhaps the darkest of it's adjecent family, the Dario Argento to pulp's John Carpenter, the cracked mirror to all that exists.

Short and full-length plays were based on the hot topics unseen onstage at this extent before, from graphic scenes of murders, tortures, sexual violence to psychological thrills like resurrections of the dead, incest, suicide, characters being hypnotized, trapped or guilty of their loved one’s deaths. In most cases, it was a combination of several of those themes in one piece, which of course, multiplied shows’ popularity - AngryFishTheatre's article

‘At one performance, six people passed out when an actress, whose eyeball was just gouged out, re-entered the stage, revealing a gooey, blood-encrusted hole in her skull. Backstage, the actors themselves calculated their success according to the evening’s faintings. During one play that ended with a realistic blood transfusion, a record was set: fifteen playgoers had lost consciousness. Between sketches, the cobble-stoned alley outside the theatre was frequented by hyperventilating couples and vomiting individuals.’

Despite of its scandalous nature, for France Grand Guignol was more than a theatre: it was a tradition, an institution, and an attraction like the Eiffel Tower or the Folies Bergères, and Maxim’s... It was then highly fashionable. Celebrities of the day, South American millionaires and errant royalty went there assiduously to be scared out of their wits.

Going to the Grand-Guignol was less a social act than a private one and certain audience members preferred not to be seen. Some witnesses reported that the iron-grilled boxes in the back of the theater encouraged a certain ‘extremism.’

The cleaning staff would often find the seats stained - — Mel Gordon, The Grand Guignol: theatre of fear and terror.

It lasted almost the exact same time period as the American pulp era (from the late 1880s to 1950s), and even in it's origin, as the theater itself was built out of the ruins of a church, and it would attain fame and legacy as the shadow opposite to Moulin Rouge's glamour and spectacle. It's original intent on being focused on naturalistic theater led to breakthroughs of horror that made it the whole selling point, and much like the pulp lords of terror I talk about, their staged and spectacled terrors were still no match for the horrors of reality that followed.

“We could never equal Buchenwald,” the Grand Guignol’s final director, Charles Nonon, told TIME magazine that year. “Before the war, everyone felt that what was happening onstage was impossible. Now we know that these things, and worse, are possible in reality.”

And of course it goes without saying that the Grand-Guignol's influence on storytellers long transcended it's original lifespan. Gore for gore's sake is hardly something I enjoy, but I've definitely enjoyed many, many films that reached to extremes of horror and violence and gore for horror and comedy alike. I would not claim the Grand-Guignol started this because I could very well be missing out on something, but they are undeniably a huge part of the history of horror as we know it, along with the German Expressionist works of the 1910s that were as well both inspired by, as well as influential, on the Grand-Guignol.

Time and time again we see the pattern emerge, of creators or outlets or mediums that emerge as cheaper and less critically-reputable alternatives to the mainstream attain extraordinary and influential success both in their circles as well as those who would never admit to looking at them for inspiration otherwise. In fact, you could very well argue that it’s alive not just through films and comics and so forth, but in newfound forms of media created by people with all the freedom to put together whatever their imaginations and limited resources and lack of restraints can create.

Like Youtube Poop.

Now maybe I'm biased here because I grew up with YTP, but really, the main intent behind every YTP is to twist the media it's using to provoke a new reaction from you, every YTP is varying levels of a rollercoaster of jokes and edits and little narratives stacking up and flowing together, references and poop jokes and murder jokes and slurs and parody and criticism and SuS and literally anything the creator thinks is gonna get a reaction that wasn't in the original material. And it doesn't even have to be exclusively about jokes, there's a lot of YTPs that are centered on horror or drama or even are just completely original narratives using the assets at hand, sometimes even clocking in at almost movie-length.

There's no filter or censors or teams making sure it's tested to the audience, it's just as much chaos as someone with video editing skills can manage to create, and more so than anything else nowadays, it's the medium that abides and amplifies the same principle that ruled and defined Grand-Guignol: "The Hot and Cold Shower"

Grand Guignol, was not the inventor of this concept, but probably the first performing arts company that used it as its main programming principle. Every evening at the theatre was programmed with plays heavily contrasting in their nature. In the 6 plays presented on a regular night, every 2 horror plays were followed by a light comedy and the light comedy by another horror play or two. Using this contrast the creators aimed to give their audiences a fuller range of emotions. They called it a "hot and cold shower".

You could also make a similar argument for creators that used Garry's Mod or Source Filmmaker to create Youtube content, many of whom either followed the styles of YTP or created their own which ended up influencing others in return, and you can definitely see how YTP as well as these have influenced our current generation's taste in comedy as well as the editing styles of many prominent creators. It even seemed for quite a while that GMOD and SFM content of this type was dead, but it definitely seems like it's gotten a revival recently, and really just never went away. Likewise, a lot of people think YTP died circa 2012 or 2015, which is completely false, it just changed a bit, as things tend to do if they are to stick around.

The entire approach of extreme hot and cold, extreme horror and comedy shuffling per second and extreme absurdity overriding is something you definitely get nowadays a lot more out of these newer forms of media than anything that film and television's capable of giving, and just as Grand-Guignol started out relatively ordinary (focused mainly on naturalistic horror) before it completely spiraled into a perpetual race for excess, we've gotten so desensitized so quickly to surprises that you can see in real time the growing needs for content that's faster and more chaotic and funnier and more dramatic and more absurd and more well-produced but also worse produced and, yeah.

I definitely wonder how we may see future filmmakers and cartoonists and creators be influenced by, not just the above, but also the rapidly changing landscapes of meme culture and social media and the gradually less-funny theater of the absurd that reality's become. I definitely imagine we'll be in for some interesting times.

Y'know, if we make it that far.

Alternatively you could also argue Jackass is also a modern Grand Guignol and they just cut out the narrative middleman to get straight to the "people getting fucked up for your amusement" part, but at this point I'd just be inviting a retread of all the "Is -X- pulp" questions I got for "Is -X- Grand Guignol", and I may have stepped straight into a rake with this one.

[transnameswap]

Music Themed Names from “Crypt of the Necrodancer”

Mod Viktor here! I’ve been playing a lot of Crypt of the Necrodancer recently and I’m obsessed with the music-themed names! I’ve been feeling a little guilty about this blog not having any content as-of-late, so I’ve decided to make a list of names in COTN! They all have music meanings or associations, so these names will be listed again in our main Music Theme list when it’s made in the future. This also goes with the video game theme list that has also been in the works for some time.

Story Characters

There is a sequence of 3 characters (4 with DLC) who complete a full story, starting with Cadence, then Melody, then Aria. I used the entries from each character’s “trivia” section on their wikia to fill out the name description and fill in when needed. I tried my best to redact spoilers for the game past the first 2 cutscenes of the story.

Cadence - the default character. Act 1 of the story.

In music, a cadence is a progression of chords that ends a phrase, section, or composition (harmonic cadence) or a rhythmic pattern that indicates the end of a phrase (rhythmic cadence), with the purpose of creating a feeling of resolution. This may be related to how, in the game's story, Cadence is searching for her own resolution as to what happened to her father, Dorian.

In a more literal sense, the word cadence comes from the Latin word cadentia, which means "a falling". Cadence became cursed by the NecroDancer after he revived her from a lethal fall into the crypt.

Melody - Cadence’s mother. Act 2 of the story.

A melody, from the greek word melōidía, meaning singing or chanting, is a linear sequence of notes that are the main focus of music.

Aria - Melody’s mother, Cadence’s grandmother. Act 3 of the story.

In music, an aria is a self-contained piece for a single voice, possibly a reference to either Aria's sheer independence and determination or the fact that she may only use a single weapon, her dagger.

Furthermore, arias are specifically written to be difficult to perform, in order to provide expert concert singers with an opportunity to truly demonstrate their skill. (Within the game, Aria dies on hit, dies on a missed beat, and can only use the default dagger. The only run more difficult is Coda, who has all of that and moves at double time.)

In a more literal sense, aria is the Italian word for air, a possible reference to Aria being killed in one hit by anything, as if she could be killed by so much as a strong breeze.

Nocturna - Vampire. Prequel story added in the Amplified DLC.

A nocturne is a single-movement piece themed around the night, usually written for solo piano, and bats are a nocturnal animal, being mostly active at night.

Other Characters with Music Theme Names

Other playable characters that are unlocked as you progress and have names with music themes or connotations.

Choral - Choral is the name of the colorswap sprite for Cadence.

Choral is named after choral music, which is music written to be performed by an ensemble of multiple singers (called a choir or chorale). This fits her role as the character assigned to player 2 when there are multiple players.

Octavian (Bard) - his wiki page is all spoilers please don’t look him up

An Octave is the interval between one musical pitch and another with double its frequency. The octave relationship is a natural phenomenon that has been referred to as the "basic miracle of music," the use of which is "common in most musical systems." The interval between the first and second harmonics of the harmonic series is an octave. This rules for spoiler reasons! Beat Melody’s story!

From the Roman name Octavianus, which was derived from the name Octavius, derived from Latin octavus meaning "eighth"

Dove - Pacifist character

Doves are symbols of peace and also songbirds.

Dorian - Cadence’s father, Melody’s husband, Eli’s brother. Lover of wife.

The dorian mode is a minor mode (which are usually said to be sad and gloomy) with a major sixth interval (which is said to add a small amount of optimism), commonly used in jazz and blues.

Coda - Creature of unknown origin; most difficult character; the achievement "Impossible, Right?" is gained when beating all zones with her.

Coda refers to the concluding segment in a musical piece, reflecting her status as the game's final character.

Coda is also Italian for the word "tail", which is emphasized by her holding her dagger with her tail in her character portrait.

I honestly thought Coda was gender neutral or masc this entire time, I only saw her referred to as “she” on her wiki page and have never heard it in any gameplay or speedruns in my life. We love this energy though, Coda is my gender now.

Mary - She has a little lamb (little lamb, little lamb)

She is named after the nursery rhyme “Mary had a little lamb”.

Playing her is more stressful to me than playing Aria and I’m not joking.

Tempo - He’s a cursed creature who needs to get a kill every 16 beats or he dies.

"Tempo" is a term used to refer to the speed of a musical piece. Tempo is the Italian word for "Time", which refers to Tempo's timer curse and is emphasized by the clock he has on his chest.

Other Characters without Music Theme Names (but I want to include them)

Eli - Cadence’s paternal uncle

Eli didn’t have a name explanation in the trivia section and I’m not a music person, if someone has an explanation please let me know! Otherwise, here’s the Bible:

“Means "ascension" in Hebrew. In the Books of Samuel in the Old Testament he is a high priest of the Israelites. He took the young Samuel into his service and gave him guidance when God spoke to him. Because of the misdeeds of his sons, Eli and his descendants were cursed to die before reaching old age.”

Bolt - double-time character; canonically genderqueer and uses they/them pronouns.

Another character without a clear music theme in their name, but with time.

A bolt can refer to a lightning bolt or crossbow bolt.

Bolt moves twice per beat instead of once per beat. Their name and their achievement “Tachycardia” insinuates this.

Diamond - He moves diagonally! That’s it!

Diamonds have angles?? I think that’s the bit here?? His achievement “A Cut Above” was previously known as “Playing The Angles.”

{.⋅ ♫ ⋅.}

I am not a music person at all, so I literally ripped most of these from the Trivia section of their pages or wikipedia.

A lot of the enemies and bosses also have great names but I don’t know how someone would go about naming themselves “Deep Blues” or “King Conga” or “Frankensteinway” or “The Notorious D.I.G.”

If you have corrections or suggestions for any of these names, please send in an ask!

❤ Mod Viktor

{.⋅ ♫ ⋅.}

Related Posts:

Main Masterpost of Name Lists Video Game Themed Master Post Music Theme Names (WIP)

[gallickingunsteals]

Gallickingun/Lilhemmo is tracing art, reposting art and gifs, stealing ideas, and more

We’re going to start by introducing ourselves: we are a group of anonymous artists, writers, and editors that are either in @bnhabookclub​​​​ or have left it for various reasons related to the admin and creator, @gallickingun​​​​ / @lilhemmo​​​​ and the mod staff as a whole. This doesn’t mean all of her staff is bad, but they’ve strongly enabled, overlooked, and allowed Morgan to steal for too long. We’re not associated with @gallickingunexposed​​​​, but we would like to work with them if they have more they want to share. The reason we’re remaining anonymous for now is because some of us are still in Bookclub. As you’ll see below the cut, and if you go through gallickingunexposed, you’ll find that Morgan has ruthlessly degraded and talked shit about people within Bookclub as well as kicked people without saying why or telling her mod team. 

Next, we’ll explain why we’re doing this. Many people will respond with “Why not message Morgan? This isn’t right. You’re creating drama.” We’re not sorry to say this, but theft is not drama. It’s disrespectful and rude as well as illegal depending on the circumstances. Alongside this, Morgan has been contacted about these actions in the past multiple times by multiple people but continues to do it and/or insist she’s in the right. At that point, what else would you propose when handling it privately doesn’t work? 

Additionally, all creators deserve to know that someone is blatantly and consistently disrespecting their mutuals or people they follow by stealing their stuff. They all deserve to know that there is someone (Morgan) out there who might steal their work or break their posting rules as she’s done to others, as well as know if she’s already done it to them. Had this happened once or twice then we wouldn’t be posting this, but Morgan has a record of reposting art, gifs, stealing fics, ideas, and tracing art and she continues to insist that she doesn't do that.

This post is meant to give Morgan a wakeup call and inform everyone of things they are ignoring or unaware of. If you decide she is still in the right after reading this, then we hope you and her are blocked from other creators’ accounts so that you don’t get the chance to steal their work. This is not a discussion. This is a compilation of just some of the things she did.

Please keep in mind that this isn’t just about creative laws, this is also about creative decency and integrity, and the respectful treatment of creators. All of those have been continuously ignored by Morgan and other Bookclub staff after it is brought up multiple times, which proves that they are unfit to be in any position that allows them access to others’ pieces or a position that lets them dictate what people post. It also shows how little they care about creators as a whole. 

A solution: remake the Bookclub, remove Morgan from Bookclub staff at least, and possibly get new support staff (unless the current staff truly does disagree with her ways). If the other support team and members excuse her for stealing, reposting, etc., then they are just as bad, and those in support staff team shouldn’t be in there any longer. Shame on them for promoting and enabling creative theft. That is not an environment anyone should be promoting or enabling. Fair warning to anyone interested in BNHA Bookclub right now — they currently do not care about your work being stolen and the head admin herself has and still does steal from and ridicule and disrespect others even in Bookclub. The Bookclub was completely stolen (details below) and shouldn’t get the benefits and praise that come with zero credit and claiming originality.

And for Morgan, when you see this, we know you’re going to delete your theft posts so that the original artists and editors won’t see it. You’ll say you deleted it because you “know it’s wrong” and you “shouldn’t have posted it” but if that were the case, you would’ve done so the first time people have brought up you stealing, not the 2nd or 3rd or 4th — this is a trend. Delete them after you own up to it with the original posters. Let them see that you’ve done this. You can’t cover up what you’ve done by saying you didn’t do it or garner pity with a long apology. We also know that’s something you tend to do right before you repeat the same “mistakes,” feed into hate messages, and throw a pity party with your followers to feel better about your wrongdoings. An apology is the bare minimum. You should actually stop posting things that aren’t yours, stop copying ideas that aren’t yours, and stop covering up your theft. You are not the victim here!

ART (reposting and tracing)

Recently, Morgan got an ask and said she doesn't repost fanart without permission. Right before that, she had done just that with screenshots of a bunch of Bakugou art in a Google search. We felt this was still a form of reposting, but we wanted to ask the artists themselves too since Morgan didn’t. They all agreed that it’s still reposting because it shares their content where they don't allow even if it's not the HD image. She didn’t have to post the art. She could have gotten her notes without reposting art (yes, she cares about that and you can see in the link shared in the stealing ideas section of this post).

She edited this post to crop out the art, so someone must have told her to do so. We would like to give her more credit, but the BNHA Bookclub rules are a strong indication of her beliefs: that no matter what the artists and others think, she doesn’t believe she reposted -- she doesn’t want to admit she’s wrong or facilitating reposts.

“9. Do not repost content without credit... But we realize sometimes you’re just doing a google search and can’t find the original poster.”

The rules of the Bookclub themselves, as pictured in @rivendell101​​​′s post about Morgan stealing the Bookclub entire set up, rules, theme and concept of Bookclub from her, do not mention anything about reposting content or plagiarism or anything else that would promote protecting creators. So what?

This means you’re safe (by Bookclub standards) to repost and steal on your blog! And with that, you’re safe to do it in the server too because Bookclub staff has deemed this okay. So all of support staff are guilty of enabling and practically promoting theft.

It unfortunately gets worse from here. 

Morgan has not only reposted art, but traced art too.

The original artist, @lem0uro​​​, doesn’t allow reposts or tracing of their work (read - one, two, three, four) (here’s the original art). They have also said that this counts as reposting because again, their work is being shared in a manner that is not on their blog or being reblogged. But Morgan wouldn’t count this as reposting. 

There is no permission like she says she would get if she reposts (but she doesn’t, remember?), neither is credit given. You have to zoom in to find the blurry watermark and hope that you got it right so you can find the original artist. 

Who, again, doesn’t allow tracing. Most, if not all, artists don’t. You can easily overlay those two images and see that it was traced, not referenced. 

GIFS (reposting)

Fandom editors typically don’t allow reposting of their work. If they do, you follow their rules for reposting (common rules are either get permission, credit them, or both). In Morgan’s case, she has reposted multiple gifs over the years, and also posted a submission of someone else’s gif — yes, that’s still reposting because she still chose to post it when she knew it wasn’t hers.

(x)

We couldn’t find the creator of the submitted gif but if someone does, please send them this or tell them about this happening so that they can know. It’s not the person who submitted it as there are multiple reposts dating back to before Morgan’s post.

The second gif is by @slaughterofinnocence​​​ found here and it’s unclear if they allow reposts (but that doesn’t make it free real estate, Moe).

(x)

This gif is by @sstarphase​​​ found here and they don’t allow reposts.

(x)

Again, not Morgan’s original gif because it’s been reposted multiple times before. If you know the creator, please let them know this is happening.

(x)

This gif is by @bellblake​​​​ found here and they don’t allow reposts.

(x)

This gif is by @billrskarsgard​​​​ found here and it’s unclear if they allow reposts.

(x)

We couldn’t find the original creator but if you know then please make them aware.

(x)

We couldn’t find the original creator but if you know then please make them aware.

(x)

We couldn’t find the original creator even with the watermark, but if you know then please make them aware.

We’re aware that some of these posts are old, but that doesn’t excuse her actions, especially since she insists that she doesn’t repost. That only shows that this isn’t a one time issue.

IDEAS (exact copy and pasting and mimicking without inspo credit)

We won’t be addressing Morgan stealing fic ideas because that has been brought up by multiple other people already including @gallickingunexposed​​​​ and @lady-bakuhoe​​​​. Keep in mind that this is a compilation of observations no matter how small.

You can read this post about Morgan stealing the entire idea of Bookclub. Are network and archive blogs and servers exclusive and original ideas? NO! But Morgan didn’t just copy the idea, she:

took credit for it

copy and pasted the rules from @southsidearchive​​​​

copied the same exact theme as ^

copied the set up of the server from ^

bonus: shit talked the admin of ^ and said she’d use them for notes and only add them to Bookclub at the very last minute

Again, you can’t take credit for a common concept like Morgan did, but you can easily give credit to where you got the idea or what you’re basing your actions off of, which Morgan didn’t do. That’s called saying who inspired you. Since Morgan and staff legitimately plagiarized the entire Bookclub setup, they didn’t just get inspiration in that case. 

Moving on, all of the people contributing this post except a few have been here since the beginning of Bookclub and have either left Bookclub or remain in it. We remember what it was like when it started up and we’ve seen the changes it has gone through. Interestingly enough, these changes were not original. 

NOTE: Because Morgan and Bookclub staff have stolen and taken credit for the entirety of southsidearchive’s set up, this is being brought up because it is no mere coincidence that they’re doing the same things again. The only difference is that they were caught sooner.

A couple of us noticed the current changes reflecting @haikyuucreations​​​‘ server only after Morgan had joined. This is a smaller instance compared to the previous, but that should mean there’s no issue with mentioning “I got this idea from them” just like @southsidearchive​​​ did with their rules and haikyuucreations did with their set up. 

There was no mention inspiration when Morgan took all of these from haikyuucreations:

QOTD (role and channel)

the same bots

a split administrative staff between the blog mods and server mods

As you can see here, Morgan didn’t join the haikyuucreations server until July 25th, and she only waited a couple days until she started copying the way they did QOTD. Previously there was no role or a separate channel, but Morgan shamelessly used that idea and didn’t say she got inspiration or anything. Instead, she passes it off as her wanting it to be more active. The nice thing to do would be at least promote or mention the people you got your ideas from even if they aren’t original ideas. We’re sure Morgan wouldn’t want someone writing a whole fic inspired by hers without saying, or creating an entire blog and server like hers without saying.

Below we’ll talk about the dates that Morgan and Bookclub staff copied the same bots as haikyuucreations. Public bots are not exclusive, but the idea of Bookclub is completely unoriginal since it is a carbon copy of southsidearchive and now it’s imitating haikyuucreations.

Once again, no one owns common concepts, but we believe the timing is all too convenient for Morgan to be adding in the same bots after joining the haikyuucreations server. When we first joined Bookclub, Writer-Bot and Carl Bot weren’t there, but Morgan went ahead and added both of them in like she “just came up with it,” to quote her directly in the post linked earlier from southsidearchive.

You can see the earliest messages from those two bots in the haikyuu server and compare it to when Writer-Bot joined Bookclub. There isn’t anything about when Carl Bot joined, but we and anyone else in the server can confirm that it wasn’t there until after Morgan joined the other server. 

Besides this, she got her character bot ideas with prompts and flirty lines from the southsidearchive server, but there was no inspo credit for that.

We will, though, reach out to the staff of haikyuucreations to see if Morgan at least asked about getting inspiration for how they run their server. If that is the case, we’ll delete everything regarding Morgan copying from them. But that’s really unlikely since she didn’t do that for southsidearchive.

Another instance of copying without inspiration credit is Morgan copying haikyuucreations split staff setup. Since at least June, their blog and server have been split between two different teams. This third screenshot is from August 22nd after a Bookclub member spoke with Candy from the Bookclub staff. This change of Bookclub being split is a recent one, once again only coming up after Morgan has seen it work in the haikyuu server. This information was sent via DM, and Bookclub staff is continuing to avoid acknowledging that they’ve stolen ideas from other archival blogs and servers.

MISC

This is unrelated to creative theft. We want to point out another inconsistency where staff has failed to uphold their rules and protect their members, specifically about incest.

They make it very clear that incest is not a topic allowed in the server or in fics submitted to the blog, yet they allowed this conversation about Todoroki family incest to occur. If it’s allowed in specific channels, then that should be clear in the rules but it isn’t. But that’s just what happens when you copy and paste someone else’s rules and don’t have any familiarity with them:

According to gallickingunexposed, there was also the instance of minors getting into NSFW channels by lying to staff and by staff opening the channel up temporarily for everyone to participate in. This isn’t legal. It’s unfair. It’s disgusting. Being lied to is out of your control, but Bookclub support staff willingly opened up a NSFW channel for minors to get in. Temporary or not, that’s unacceptable.

And to discuss rule 11: Lyssa/@burnedbyshoto​​ was kicked without notice to anyone, members and mods alike, just because Morgan didn’t like her (referencing gallickingunexposed). This doesn’t mean Lyssa was innocent, but since only Morgan knew about kicking her, no one could personally take it up with her. That’s an abuse of power and a fine way for Morgan to go around her own rules. With all of that, Bookclub members are literally forced by the rules to respect staff and their decisions, breeding an unhealthy environment where no one can speak up without facing backlash in the server or in DMs -- like Morgan shit talking her own members and other bloggers. 

CONCL.

We compiled as much as we could, but there is definitely more that Morgan has stolen and more that her staff has enabled. We believe the best solutions include

1. Bookclub to be remade since it was completely stolen and continues to steal from others.

If someone steals a gif, art, or writing, the proper response is to delete it. It’s unlikely Bookclub staff will do that with Bookclub, so the least they could do is stop benefitting from others’ ideas. Had the Bookclub been marginally influenced by the Riverdale and Haikyuu servers and blogs then it would be different, but this is too far. There is no telling how far they’re going to go and Morgan has no limits of what else she’ll steal and defend. This also needs to happen because the rules themselves are not followed by staff. If you don’t know your own rules or you’re not going to follow them then change them. They were never your rules in the first place and the power is being abused anyway.

2. Morgan needs to leave Bookclub staff. 

She may have started it, but it was never her idea or setup in the first place. Considering she doesn’t follow the rules she copy and pasted, abuses her power, and consistently disrespects other creators either personally or by stealing from them, she doesn’t deserve to get by with another fake apology. Multiple apologies over the same thing followed by the same “mistakes” are worthless. They’re emotionally manipulative and only serve to let her get by with doing it again and get pity when she’s caught. We considered suggesting a suspension, but since Morgan has already left the server once and came back with the issues persisting and more arising, we don’t feel like this is a proper solution. She will only come back and continue to be a risk to the members of Bookclub for talking poorly about them behind their backs and for stealing from them and others. We sincerely hope that Bookclub mods are capable enough to run Bookclub without her, especially if they remake it to fit them. It’s understood that Morgan did most of the admin duties on her own and wouldn’t let mods participate despite being told or asked of, so we hope that that’s even more reason she shouldn’t be in staff.

3. Apologize to the original posters and follow their instructions.

Don’t delete the posts before they see, that’s just running away. If they tell you to credit them, do it. If they tell you to delete it, do it. But don’t delete it and brush it under the rug. And once you do apologize, don’t go back to posting and pretending everything is normal. This is a serious topic and deserves serious reflection. Every time this comes up, Morgan goes in circles victimizing herself, giving an apology, and repeating. That doesn’t work 10 times in a row.

This post will remain up until all three of these suggestions are taken. We’ll continue to help find more content that Morgan and staff have stolen, even if it means getting no sleep because this matters. As writers, artists, and editors, Bookclub staff should understand that. Morgan may not and has proven that she doesn’t care enough to change her ways, but we won’t stop until we see what we want.

[itsclydebitches]

Was planning on making this my own post, but I thought you would be more suited to discussing this sort of topic. Something I've noticed when it comes to the more prominent/important/strong female characters (Nora, Pyrrha, Penny, Robyn, Emerald, Sienna) is that RT often has the tendency of giving them masculine allusions (Thor, Achilles, Pinocchio, Robin Hood, Aladdin, Shere Khan) as if they are unable to stand on their own as characters unless they have that connection to a male character. 1/3

It is worth discussing! Yeah, I hesitate to call it a pattern just because, as you say, Team RWBY themselves are an exception to the rule  — and as the title characters of the story, they’re a pretty big exception. We also have good women allusions turned into good women characters (Glynda with The Good Witch, May with Maid Marian) and bad women allusions turned into good women characters (Winter with The Snow Queen — I don’t think she was ever meant to enter full antagonist territory, but that’s another post). So it’s not just a matter of saying, “RWBY models their strong women after male inspirations and turns all female inspirations into male characters.” It’s not that simple. But the fact that it’s not simple doesn’t mean there’s nothing there to unpack because I definitely understand the feeling you’re pointing to, anon. Team RWBY feels like it has the most thought put into it in terms of changing up these allusions, specifically when it comes to subversion: the little girl in a red hood who previously needed a hunter’s protection has become the hunter herself, Belle overcomes both her Gaston and the now evil Beast, Snow White extracts herself from her own abusive situation (with a little help from the Dwarves still), and Goldilocks is no longer lost and in need of basic necessities, but can rather punch her way out of any establishment  — like, say, a club. The execution of these themes aside (how Adam was handled, turning Jacques’ arrest into a joke, etc.), there’s a commonality here that works. Or at least, it works for me. Yet when we expand the allusions past our title team, things get... very messy. That’s when we start to hit on these concerns. 

I’d say the problem stems primarily from that lack of thought, not the act itself of turning women characters into men or vice versa. Meaning, as I’ve said in the past, RWBY’s use of allusions is terribly unreliable nowadays, and that’s not just in terms of plot expectations like, “Why did Penny have to become a flesh girl because Pinocchio, but Ironwood didn’t stay good because Tin Man?” It also includes these questions of why these changes were made and what sort of messages they send. As you lay out, why are so many of our heavy hitters  — the most talented huntress, the lightning-immune smasher, the Maiden android, etc.  — based on men? Why are many of the effeminate and “weaker” men  — Jaune the untrained, Ren the emotional councilor, Oscar the kid who wants to talk it all out  — based on women? Again, I don’t intend to sling any hard accusations, but rather to point out what’s likely a subtle, unconscious bias. To provide another example, I’ve seen talk recently about how RT (again, unconsciously) depicts the faunus, where all the good characters have culturally established “good” animal features and all the bad character have culturally established “bad” features. It’s cat ears, rabbit ears, sheep ears, monkey tails, dog tails, and beautifully changing skin color vs. scorpion tails, spiderwebs, bull horns, tiger ears, bat wings, and crocodile scales. Is it a perfect 1:1 divide? No, Ghira has panther claws and Fennec has fox ears, but there’s enough there for us to go, “RT tends to give the good guys cute features and/or features we associate with safe animals, whereas the bad guys tend to get ugly features and/or features we associate with dangerous animals.” I feel the same way here, that there’s a bit of a trend at play, with the caveat that there are more complications simply by virtue of these allusions being, well, complicated. But there’s enough there to make us stop and think, “What were RT’s intentions with this? If they just chose something based on the rule of cool, what might those inclinations tell us about gender norms in America?” Meaning, when someone goes, “Idk, we just thought it would be cool to change this up” there’s a lifetime of media consumption driving that choice. It’s not actually random, but based on whatever has been normalized  — unless you actively counteract that by thinking through what you want the change to do. 

Unconscious biases are always at work. When we analyze something like this it’s often not a matter of saying, “The author is [insert accusatory term here]” but rather just, “The author is falling into expectations, patterns, and normalized decisions based on the culture they’ve grown up in.” Which includes things like thinking, “Well, if this character is based on a male god, she must be crazy strong. If this character is based on a woman fighter, he’s probably more emotional.” Such biases may be driving a lot of decisions because, as said in the past, I really don’t think RT is putting much thought into these allusions, if any at this point. For me, Penny was proof of that  — the inability to see how following her allusion utterly destroyed her character growth  — but even if we don’t agree about Penny, what about Salem? Far from just using her name, this volume gave us a blatant reference to the events of Salem Trails in the 1690s. Namely, the burning of the witch. 

Except references like this can’t just look cool. This isn’t a video game Easter egg with no real connection to the story, it’s a cinematography/plot choice that carries meaning. So what is that meaning? Well, the thing about the women on trail at Salem is that they were innocent. This is what that reference says: “Hey, remember that real life event where women who weren’t witches were horrifically killed because others thought they were evil? None were actually burned, but culturally we tend to think they were. So that’s the image in our collective mind: innocent women on fire.” Except... Salem is actually a witch. Salem is evil. Salem is guilty. Or at least, the questions surrounding the extent of her guilt  — How much responsibility does she hold in comparison to the Gods? How much agency does she still have after the grimm pool?  — has not been acknowledged by the text. Yang just yelled at Salem for killing her mom and Oscar is about to blow her up. This is not a “Question Salem’s humanity” scene, it’s a “Kill the witch” scene... yet it uses an allusion that is contrary to what the moment is trying to achieve. So what are we supposed to take away from this? Do we adhere to the subtext and believe that Salem is innocent somehow, ignoring what the actual text says, or do we uphold the text and in doing so undermine the reliability of every other allusion in the show? If we can’t trust Salem’s, why would we trust, say, Penny’s? 

RWBY’s allusions are all over the place and yes, I think that lack of consideration extends to who they randomly decided to genderbend. There’s no acknowledgment of  — let alone engagement with  — how many of these characters and historical figures were trying to pass themselves off as another gender, nor does RWBY acknowledge how the need to do so feeds into our current and historic assumptions about gender as a whole. Why does the man dress as a woman? To keep himself safe and seen as a non-threat. Why does the woman dress as a man? To gain access to places previously barred from her and to gain the respect she otherwise wouldn’t be afforded. And, of course, in 2021 there’s the expectation that media will include trans characters, GNC characters, non-binary characters, cis characters uninterested in practicing traditional femininity/masculinity, etc. None of which RWBY tackles outside of May, a woman who references a systematic transphobia we otherwise never see in the show. May, as a minor character, is great and I am in all honesty thrilled that she exists in the RWBY canon. However, the rest of the show is built on an anime conception of gender  — combat skirts and bare midriffs in the snow  — while nevertheless engaging with the very complicated question of how you re-imagine canonically/historically gendered people. As a “girl power” show, RWBY has opened itself up to questions like, “Okay, it’s great that you made these four fairy tale girls kickass, but can we talk about making Joan of Arc into a bumbling guy whose presence as a blonde, blue-eyed, sword-wielding man taking up lots of important screen time has generated accusations about this being a male-centered show?” It’s not a “RWBY is horrible for doing this!” issue, but a “RWBY is deliberately playing with gender and marketing itself as a progressive show, so... let’s figure out what these individual choices are actually implying and whether or not we consider that progressive.” 

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (part 2)

If you haven’t read the first part of the callout, I encourage you to do so here. As before, the normal tags are not included in this post in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed. TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Ren met Jill sometime between December of 2013 and January of 2014. At the time, he was dating another staff member of the website who will be referred to as Buttercup from now on. Jill was vulnerable in some of the most classic ways a CSA survivor often is. Her home life was chaotic and difficult. She was just finishing middle school. Depression had started to surface, and, worst of all, she had just been diagnosed with a life-altering chronic disease that would require her to change significant aspects of her daily life just to survive. She just wanted a place to fit in and be welcomed, and fell into Ren’s lures without ever considering the danger that lurked behind the screen.

Up until now, it could be understandable to argue that Ren may not have been purposely grooming young girls. Creating a mature themed website might be creepy and inappropriate, but that doesn’t necessarily make someone a predator. No, what made Ren a predator were his motives, his goals, and his solicitation of vulnerable youth into grossly exploitative relationships. What remains the most disturbing to me is that his behavior consistently fits with the profile of an egomaniac desperate to have power over someone dependent on him, fitting textbook descriptions of the methods abusers employ in order to coax their victims in and trap them there.

The Act of Grooming, Part Two: Approach

Even though common luring methods of child predators are well-known within advocate and legal communities, the average person typically has neither heard of them nor is likely to recognize them as they happen. Some behaviors attached to common lures are easily identifiable: a stranger somehow uses a young child’s name to create familiarity and abducts them, or convinces a child that there are prizes to be had if they come along. Methods like these have names, and Ren is guilty of utilizing at least four to his advantage.

The Authority Lure

When Jill first told me about her first interactions with Ren, she was quick to note how starstruck she was with that fact that he wanted to talk to her at all. “I was surprised that admins even RPed down with their peasants on this site,” she told me. Interacting with staff on the site made her feel special and seen, and Ren was quick to start chatting with her. He had a particular interest in her character. Someone of great importance and authority on the site, going out of his way to interact with her out of all people. He held power over her (over most users on the site) and that was something he was keenly aware of. More sinisterly, not only did Ren himself have power over younger users, but he increased his reach and control through the creation of alternative identities. Ren’s main identities were Aaron, Seth, Carter, and Lauren, all of whom he used to form relationships with and manipulate different individuals on the site.

Seth and Carter’s accounts have since been deleted, so unfortunately I was not able to see what kind of people Ren made them out to be. However, he clearly made users believe that these were all existing people, and used their identities to build his authority. When everyone on staff is the same person, it doesn’t leave very much room for dissent.

As for Lauren? Lauren was Ren’s real identity, and the mastermind behind all of it.

As you can see in this post, as of November 11, 2013, Ren was 17 years old. Not only that, but he was in a position of power over children in real life, too. There’s no reason that Ren would not have known better; no one in that position would be able to have a relationship with a small child as a “mistake.” Frequently, Ren claimed to be a babysitter for kids as old as 14, which means that children were fully exposed to him on all fronts. Ignorance is not a viable excuse for him; there’s no way he didn’t realize what he was doing was wrong.

A person might argue that there’s no substantial proof that these identities are fake. That would be a valid question at this point. One of Ren’s supporters (and self-proclaimed partner) has admitted themselves that these “alternate personalities” did not exist. In an attempt to explain away Ren’s toxic behaviors, they offered up a Dissociative Identity Disorder diagnosis as a defense:

However, there’s one glaring issue with this claim. According to the DSM-5 classification of mental disorders by the American Psychiatric Association, amnesia must occur for a diagnosis of DID. Amnesia is defined by the DSM-5 as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. Ren never experienced amnesia associated with the “switch” of an alter; in fact, he claimed that he and his friends would regularly do activities together, and would even communicate back and forth online with each other during the same lengths of time on AS as he switched between accounts.

I understand that everyone has different experiences with mental illness, and that illness does not have the same symptoms for every person. Regardless, Ren was clearly aware of his actions and the way he used his other accounts to lure/hurt users. Mental illness is not an excuse for hurting children, ever. Ren knew it then, and I can guarantee you he knows it now.

The Affection Lure

Another way predators appeal to their victims is with affection. Pedophiles take advantage of rocky home situations or difficult experiences to abuse the trust a child has placed in them. Jill came to know Ren well through their role-plays. They talked often. Ren made himself available to her, gave her comfort that she desperately needed, and even offered other friends who could be an ear or a shoulder to her. When Ren learned of Jill’s chronic illness, he connected her with Seth, another of his personalities. He coaxed Jill into trusting him, and their relationship became inappropriately intense. Most children are exploited by people that are close to them, by people who they trust and rely on.

At the time, Jill may not have realized how difficult her situation was for her. To her, the chaos of her family life may have seemed normal. Having to compete with siblings and neighborhood kids may have seemed normal. Falling into severe, deep depression may have seemed normal. The truth of the situation is that a vulnerable young woman was falling through the cracks, and Ren saw an opportunity to place himself as the most important person in her life. She needed to belong, so he made sure that she felt like she belonged with him. She needed to be heard, so he made sure that she felt like he was the only one who heard her. She needed friends, so he made sure that all her friends were him. 

Not only did he use her trust in him to groom her for a relationship, but he used it to isolate her. If everyone she knew was him, then he would be the only positive feature in her life. If everyone else was an enemy, then she would have nowhere to turn to but him. If he convinced her that she was his world, and that he was hers, she would never believe anyone trying to warn her about him and his behavior. Ren took advantage of a 14 year old child’s insecurities and sickness to insert himself as the most important aspect of her life.

There’s plenty of evidence that this wasn't the first time he’d thought of something like this, either. Ren had an obsession with themes of abuse, torture, and child slavery in his stories and role-plays. Much of his content centered around taking advantage of vulnerable people.

It wasn’t just his role-play ideas that crossed the line. His behavior toward other members of the site was hair-raising at best. His supporters try to paint him as someone affectionate and well-meaning, but he had habits of talking to young users in a manner that borders on profiling.

These aren’t things that someone a few months short of their eighteenth birthday should be saying to children on the internet. His behavior also delved into the realm of victim blaming, too; when a minor on the site was posting about their father going out of his way to make custody as complicated and as disruptive as possible, Ren had this to say:

A man, who would have been 18 at the time, with the audacity to imply that a child was to blame for the controlling behavior of their father. That their father only loved them, and that they might have done something to make a grown man act like a petty child during a divorce.

Ren’s idea of love was as toxic as his need for power.

The Hero Lure

This is, perhaps, the lure that Ren is mostly guilty of. An egomaniac soothed by his own words, Ren saw himself as a hero. In his own mind, he was a faultless deity who deserved no less than the complete and undivided affections of his subjects, but who fabricated false identities at every opportunity. In Ren’s mind, he is the hero. The survivors of his abuse are turned to abusers, those who dare question him are nothing but petty liars, and anyone not completely enthralled by him is nothing but an extra in his story. That’s what Ethren was created to emulate.

Ren has not grown. Someone who has grown would take ownership of their mistakes and apologize for the pain they had caused. Someone truly sorry, truly changed, wouldn’t dare to trample on the feelings of people they had hurt. Ren is no different now than he was six years ago, when he made the decision to change Jill’s life. Instead, he’s turned a survivor into the villain of his world. Instead, he faked his own death so that he could start over with his reputation on AS intact. He never accepted what he did, and instead continues to paint Jill as someone who needed to be “fixed.”

Wanting to be with someone because it feeds a need to “fix” or “help” someone isn’t love. It’s an adult man putting the weight of the world on the shoulders of a little girl. A girl already struggling to adapt. A girl already struggling to fit in. A girl who spent her second week of high school hospitalized because of a sickness that would change her life forever. Jill is a person; she’s a person who’s had to learn to live with restrictions that mean the difference between life and death. She’s a person who’s had to walk alone through the past six years battling depression and trauma completely unheard and unseen. She’s not a character in Ren’s world. She’s not some fixation to help him feel better about himself. 

Jill is a real, living, breathing human being with thoughts and feelings and a future: a future that Ren has done him damn best to make about himself for the past six years.

Ren never wanted to help anyone. Ren needed to feel important to other people to have some kind of meaning to himself. His obsession with playing hero went so far that he would torment his victims just so that he could swoop in and be what they needed. He would pretend to be sick or injured. He would go from having a cold, to strep, to pneumonia in under a day.

He would suddenly need a nebulizer for breathing treatments for his false illnesses.

His friends and loved ones would suddenly have life-threatening medical conditions and need to be taken to the hospital.

He pretended to have cancer.

He would use his identities to threaten self harm or death. He used Seth to tell Jill that he was going to send someone to kill her, making her scared for her own life. He made her a part of a world where he was the only one who could help her to satisfy his own sick need to be the most important thing to someone else.

When life caught up to him, he pretended to die.

He knew what he was doing was wrong. He asked Jill to lie about her age and told her that if anyone ever found out about them, he would get in trouble. He used his status as her hero to solicit sexual content online. He knew her age, knew how vulnerable she was, and knew how desperately she needed to fit in. He took advantage of that to fill his own desperate need to be the hero.

The legal age where a person can consent in Jill’s country is 16. When they officially began dating, she was 14. Ren was 18. He was an adult four years older than her, who would have faced charges of child abuse in his own state for their relationship. They had a sexual relationship online, which would be equivalent to soliciting child porn in his state. She never cheated on him; he was her world, because he made every effort to make sure that he was.

She never even saw his face.

She never even knew his real name.

She grappled for years afterwards with trauma, and he wouldn’t even give her the decency of having peace when they finally split. Instead, he came here with his stories. He wrote up fantasies where he was the hero, and she was the one who abused him. Jill was still a minor at the end of her relationship. When I asked her if she’s gotten help, she didn’t think a therapist would take her seriously. Ren took her ability to trust her own voice from her. He took her ability to believe that her own problems were valid. He took six years of her life and made it hell for the sake of his own ego and vanity. Pedophiles will often lie about their age, but most of them make it clear that they’re adults. Their true age might vary by four to five years (like in Ren’s case of claiming to be 21 at 17), but they always make it very clear that they’re adults. Predators know what they’re doing. They’re master manipulators. They’re adept at communication. They seem innocent on the surface, until everything they’ve done is laid out where it can be seen for what it is. Predators rely on persuasion, not coercion (Abrams 2016).

Someone I know asked me if I ever considered, even briefly, that Jill wasn’t telling the truth. I answered back without hesitation that I never did, not even once, because I hadn’t even touched one of the most important parts of my research.

Like other predators, Ren had a type. Buttercup was his first victim. When she and Ren met she was only 13-- Just like Jill.

Continue to Part 3

[alatismeni-theitsa]

FYI athenawasamerf is a vocal TERF.

Oh hey! Thanks for letting me know! I am against TERF rhetoric. I found their reblog in the comments of a post on mobile, so I just went there and I pushed the reblog button, without checking further. I saw a pro-lgbt+ post and assumed the person was ok. I haven’t heard of them before. **I don’t follow the person or similar rhetoric and I would kindly advise everyone to do the same.** 

In a casual, conversational tone, I would like to say some things on that. Sometimes I don’t get why this type of situation becomes a big deal. It’s not that I wanted to do it, but now that it happened, I can’t take it back (this is the internet). I am wondering this because:

1) Whatever this user said in that particular post was real and important information. Most importantly, their comment didn’t have anti-TERF rhetoric (as far as I was able to detect).  

2) “But you are spreading their influence”, someone will say. No, I don’t. “Spreading their influence” means “helping them gain more followers”. But how? For someone to follow then, they need to see some of their content first. Anyone who likes that content and ends up following the blog, is already a TERF or supports TERF rhetoric, and not because of me. (And does a TERF have difficulty finding TERF blogs on Tumblr dot com? I don’t think so. And they certainly don’t come to me to point them out to such blogs.)

For me to push people towards blogs like this, it would take me to post/promote this content myself and/or urged people to follow these blogs. I don’t do these things. Reblogging one thing from them about lgbt+ people’s hardships in Egypt doesn’t give them a platform. “Giving a platform” is something else entirely.

In case a follower of mine is a minor and easily swayed, I am sorry but I can’t take responsibility for them (that should fall to their parents), as I can’t take responsibility for the posts about slavery, genocide, sexual assault and murdering of lgbt+ people they see in this blog. Needless to say, I am not responsible for adults, either.

----- That’s not to say I will be deliberately reblogging from people of this ideology!! I am not happy to reblog from people of this ideology!! On the contrary, I do check blogs but you realize this is not possible each time.

Again, anon, this is not to antagonize you. I understand you care and want to spread awareness about TERF rhetoric and how to combat it. I am 100% with you and we agree that we are both against this ideology. It’s good that you told me of this user, so I know in the future.

I just really don’t get the thought process in a situation like this. This mindset gets really close to “guilty by association”. You, anon, were able to understand that accidentally reblogging from a TERF about an irrelevant thing doesn’t make me a TERF. But not many in this blog have that common sense. You sent me a message to let me know but others would just spread the news “theitsa is a terf” without a second thought. (and as you know, even if I erase my reblog it still stays on the platform or someone could have a screenshot)

But in reality, I don’t think these kinds of accidental reblogs about irrelevant things (irrelevant to the theme of the other’s blog) matter that much after all. And, usually, people reblogging from a thread that happens to have a terf in, don’t check all the blogs in the thread either. In case they check, if they are not already a terf, they will know to stay away.

Not to mention that aggressively cutting off any bigot or creating fear around their name makes them more of a bigot, strengthens their bubble, and gives them a martyr-complex - aka “the whole society is against me so I am sacred and correct”. (No, I don’t mean go hug those people). That’s why reblogging something from someone who later learn is a bigot shouldn’t be - in my opinion - treated as something of big significance and as if a rite of cleansing must be followed. As I said, this strengthens them more. (At least as I see it).

Thanks for reading all this and if you want to talk, share your opinion, or have further questions I am here. I just want to say again that every member of the lgbt+ community is welcome here.

[themasterofstudies]

Deconstructing Mormon Hymns #8

General Conference Edition!

Hymn #239

Choose the right when a choice is placed before you.

In the right the Holy Spirit guides;

And its light is forever shining o’er you,

When in the right your heart confides.

Right out of the gate it's instructive and thought-terminating. Just choose the right okay? Just choose the right. Only happy feelings when you choose the right! (Except, ya know, when you feel bad, so you must NOT be choosing the right then.) Shh, don't worry, just choose the right. Coupled with the verse, it doubles down on thought terminating.

[Chorus]

Choose the right! Choose the right!

Let wisdom mark the way before.

In its light, choose the right!

And God will bless you evermore.

The chorus here is critical to understanding the point and message of the song. You only get blessings when you choose the right. You only reside in light when you choose the right. Only good things associated with following God, no mention of the inevitable suffering that just happens when you are human. In failing to mention those times, it forces the member to think that bad feelings = sin = eternal damnation = my fault. And we sing this 3 times!

Choose the right! Let no spirit of digression

Overcome you in the evil hour.

There’s the right and the wrong to ev’ry question;

Be safe thru inspiration’s pow’r.

Ho Boy this verse makes me so angry. The first two lines are common themes in cult tactics. Doubt your doubts, don't question, don't even make a peep or think differently. C'mon just choose the right! How hard can it be? Also! A right and wrong to every question? Reinforces black-and-white thinking, and very few things in life are actually black-and-white. But black and white thinking traps people, makes people afraid. When there's only one way to be right, everything else is wrong, and when being wrong is tied to eternal consequences, no one wants to risk being wrong.

Also, the last line is a heavy hitter. Leaving it up to inspiration? Well, who is qualified? The leaders, all men, and if you receive “personal” revelation, it all must bow down to the party line. If your “personal inspiration” is slightly different than your bishop, or stake president, or even the prophet, then you clearly are in the wrong.

Choose the right! There is peace in righteous doing.

Choose the right! There’s safety for the soul.

Choose the right in all labors you’re pursuing;

Let God and heaven be your goal.

The final verse ties heavy loaded language to the thought-terminating cliches. Peace, safety, heaven, labors. All these words have layers and layers of meaning in Mormon lingo. Coupled with “Choose the right!” it gets dangerous. You associate “peace” with “choose the right”. You associate “Safety” with “choosing the right.” Whenever those words come up, the other ones follow, and that's the end of the conversation, full stop. Don't worry, Choose the right.

Musically this song is upbeat. It matches the words, to reinforce the positive associations with choosing the right. The thought-terminating cliché is the first phrase of every verse, repeated in the chorus sung in unison, The easy ear-catching melody sticks in your head and it's almost impossible to say “choose the right” without singing it. Like an incantation or ritual, it holds power over the way we think.

TL;DR: Every time you say “choose the right”, you are ignoring the vast multitudes of other points of view, of being, of feeling. Every time you sing “choose the right”, your brain gets stuck in a feedback loop gaslighting and feeling guilty.

[purplerose244]

Belonging

Here again for the @toa-secret-santa of this year! So happy to participate again, I love these events! 😍😍 Hello @spellcasterdouxie, I’m your secret santa! Merry Christmas and festivities, hope you like my present! ❤

Summary: In which being stuck in New York to protect a magical being and save the world in the process is no excuse for not celebrating Christmas with your friends.

Also on AO3

So… Nari was a terrible liar.

Extremely powerful being, the purest pretty soul, but horrible at lying.

Douxie didn’t have the slightest idea of what she was plotting, granted that she used to be part of an evil congregation of wizards that wanted to take over using an ancient artifact – meh, like that was the weirdest coming from his friends –, but he was fairly sure that her claim regarding the leaking sink of the bathroom was some sort of decoy.

Did that convince him to ignore those big adorable puppy eyes?

“It looks good to me, but I’m gonna give it a double check just in case!”

“Thank you Douxie, much appreciated! Please make sure everything is working, do not overlook a single thing!” Absolutely not. He was a master wizard, not a beast.

Their little apartment was neither pretty nor particularly clean. Which considering the little money he accumulated over the years with all of his jobs back in Arcadia and given the fact that they were in New York City, was kind of a given. But it had a perfectly functional bathroom, basically a gift from above, or some kind of karma retribution from putting up with three different apocalypses in the same summer – and he had all suspicions that another one was coming, but possibly another season. That being said, he wasn’t sure why with her plant like appearance, Nari with all people was so interested into their sink. Besides maybe for spraying a bit of water over her head – one very curious and endearing scene really, like a pot plant watering itself.

Then again, he wasn’t completely sure why he was going along with it instead of asking directly what was this all about. Maybe he liked to study whatever thought somehow as peculiar as her could come up with. Maybe there was nothing else of particular interest to do while waiting for his mac and cheese to be ready… maybe that little nightmare of his from last night got him a little too down, and doing anything but think about it was a better solution than most. And it was a pretty annoying maybe, because dreams about his master were as common as breathing lately.

He thought he was over it. It was probably too soon… hopefully he was at least getting closer to the not too soon part of it.

One long silence followed, from which he was fairly sure he had heard a few whispers a little lower than Nari’s light tone. Great, what now? Was she actually plotting something?

“Is everything okay over there? Arch? Nari?”

“Fine, everything is fine! Keep checking please!”

“Are you serious?” Okay now it was ridiculous. “Nope, I’m getting over there, and you two better not be up to no good!” They were a surprisingly compatible pair, especially since his familiar had made it his mission to teach her the marvel of pranks – she wasn’t even malicious about it, that made it all even more devious somehow. Douxie left the wrench on the ground, getting out of the bathroom and towards the living room. “You all keep forgetting that I’m the master wizards here, so technically I’m in charge, so if you’re scheming something- Whoa, Mordrax’s miracles!”

The last thing he had expected, after leaving their lonely living room that was made of four faded walls with a random kitchen connected to it, was to get back to it completely transformed into a messy, happy Christmas themed little chamber.

Filled with very familiar faces.

“Merry Christmas, Teach!” Claire almost knocked him off his feet with that hug. She looked radiant, all wrapped up in one big purple sweater with ‘Feeling Wicked Sassy’ written on it – appropriate. Behind her Steve, Toby and Archie were all smiling.

“Sorry, you would not leave the house,” Nari looked all cozy and a little guilty in that big mint green sweater – with ‘Every Day is Green Day’ written on it, where did she get that? –, waving at him. “And it felt like claiming we were being attacked by Skrael and Bellroc was a bit excessive.” Thank goodness his roommate and protegee had some common sense – considering his latest adventure, more than him for sure.

Claire giggled, shrugging innocently.

“We honestly hoped you were that bad of a plumber and would give us more time…”

Douxie snickered, because this was ridiculously endearing and he loved it all already.

“Too bad I’m not completely hopeless.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” Steve, it was Steve, not even worth turning around to recognize him. But a random fist bump, that much he could concede – especially with that massive blue sweater ‘Silent Knight, Holey Knight’ he had on, like really what was even that. “Ready to have the best time of your life?”

The master wizard arched an eyebrow.

“Said from you? Should we call the firefighter in advance? Or the police?” The blonde pouted very dramatically, Claire snickered. He had really missed these two. “Wow, this place looks amazing! The landlord can’t see this or she will force me to pay more for the rent.” His wallet was already gasping enough for breath and money. “All this stuff, all the decorations… is this beef?” Ah, that was why it all felt like such a sudden change, this paradisiac scent had definitely not been here before. “It smells delicious!”

“Thank you!” Second shock of the day, but Douxie could hardly blame himself considering the most time he had spent around Jim had been during his huge troll moments – he kinda looked like a twig now in comparison. “I’m pretty well known for my festive feasts.”

“Also known as festeasts!” Toby showed one enthusiastic victory sign, pulling off his orange ‘Rockin’ This Christmas’ with plenty of little gems and stones all around – the forever geologist.

Jim rolled his eyes with a grin.

“Tobes we’re not calling them that.” The Warhammer holder frowned, only to beam when he got handed a spoon for a taste. “I made most of this from home so it’s all ready and warm, but I wanted to make something on the place while I was at it. Freshly made food tastes way better on Christmas.” Toby hummed around the spoon, smacking his lips, then he rubbed his fingers together towards the chef, who caught it as to add more salt.

Douxie couldn’t help but scoot closer, peaking inside. That looked like food. That looked like real, delicious, extremely well-made food.

“What in the world, how did you make that?” Jim snorted.

“You moved on without much of a comment from me turning into a half-troll, a full troll and then back to a human, and this surprises you?”

“My friend, there were Thai leftovers, one instant ramen, an onion and an egg left in the fridge so yes, this surprises me!” All speculations died when he was offered a taste too. “… so it turns out I know nothing of magic. I must bow to the real master wizard here.” If happiness had a flavor it had to be this one. The former trollhunter snickered, giving him a little elbow before going back over his creations. And if the most classic ‘kiss the chef’ apron on him wasn’t already extremely fitting, the cyan sweater underneath reciting ‘I’m In The…’ on the back barely left to the imagination what list was written on the front.

A very well-deserved sign, really.

“Buttsnack’s managed to make these too, take a look!” Steve waved at the little counter that was the only thing remotely looking like a table in this place. And smelling just as heavenly as everything else, there they were, mince pies, just like the ones from Camelot. “But I don’t know if they’re as good because someone slaps my hand every time I- OUCH!! I didn’t even try this time!”

Archie’s tail could be surprisingly useful as a whip, in fact.

“You were thinking about it! So don’t, these are for later.” And wow, if his most loyal companion wasn’t absolutely adorable wearing that little red sweater – ‘Santa Paws’, he was going to complain about it all day long. Douxie wished he hadn’t left his phone in the bathroom. “We’re still waiting for the tree, the last decorations and the music. But we’re almost ready.” So apparently his familiar had been behind all of this. That actually made perfect sense.

Of course this little wizard associate had known this was going to do him good. It was the kind of bond that came with being around each other for over 900 years.

Archie smiled at him, and Douxie couldn’t not grin in return.

“Can’t wait for them! Even thought I did have some when we had that travel… well technically ages ago, we were actually in Camelot, but it wasn’t- Ah forget it, time loops are too confusing.” There was a consensual groan including all of them but Toby and Nari, who just looked at each other and shrugged. “Well, this is awesome, how did you even get everything here so fast?” On second thought, that was more than just bizarre. His eyes crossed Claire’s right away. “You get so tired with transportations through the Shadow Realm usually, and you got to bring along all of these people and decorations?” The thing was, this wasn’t supposed to be possible. Another thing was, Lady Claire of house Nunez was so insanely talented it would had not surprised him.

The girl waved her hand in denial.

“I wish I was at that level, but no. Still, we did travel back and forth pretty quickly.”

“Without magic? How?”

“I should take offense from that highly questioning tone.” Third shock, his poor heart – he came back from the grave once, and he really didn’t recommend it. He was fairly sure the apartment he had rented didn’t include interdimensional portals opening in the middle of the living room. “And from the fact that you humans keep forgetting I invented a perfectly functioning wormhole generator. But please, continue with your predicaments, ignore the scientific feat I’ve accomplished!” For an alien that barely understood human sarcasm, Krel Tarron was made a whole half of it.

As he walked in from the portal, holding one edge of a box filled with Christmas balls, on the other side Zoe stepped in carrying along the rest. And between a black ‘I’m Back, Witches’ sweater and a gray ‘DJ Kleb’ one with four sleeves, it was one curious and fantastic view.

“Yeah yeah, you bent the rules of physics, congratulations!” Zoe’s tense tone implied that she must had heard that complain already. “Stop talking and get working, I’m going the extra mile here!”

“This doesn’t sound like a good time to have a walk.”

“For the love of…!” The pink haired girl let out a muffled scream, let go of her edge of the box – lucky for Krel to have four arms to catch it – and jumped over the master wizard to grab his shoulders. “I hate you so much, you left me alone dealing with all of these new knuckleheads! Like the local dummies weren’t enough!” The collective offended ‘Hey!’ coming from both the Akiridion and the village’s idiot – a marvel that Steve actually responded, fully aware of his status as knucklehead – was somehow even more endearing than funny.

Meanwhile Zoe was still wrinkling his favorite jacket, frowning aggressively at him like the fact that he was out there saving the world was unforgivable – you could say anything about this pink head, but not that she didn’t have priorities.

Douxie snickered, easing the hold onto him.

“Sorry for trying to give my friends a place to live in this crazy wild world, then!”

“… apologies accepted.” Zoe narrowed her eyes. “But only if we finally hunt for niffins and get those forsaken burgers after you did the deed. I’m calling dibs on you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Besides, you owe me. I didn’t snitch and told that Hex Tech got annihilated and we’re in need of new personnel because someone needed to hide from the big bad villains.” Those blue gems were screaming not to mess this offer up, because it was certainly not going to come back.

Even with a pressure like that, in some way inside of him, Douxie felt freed of a little weight. Despite the distance and everything that had happened, some things stayed the same. So he quite happily held up his fist, smirking at the girl.

“Alright, as soon as this is over with. Deal.” Zoe glared at him a few more seconds. Then she nodded, and finally bumped their knuckles together.

With a thud Krel finally put the box down, sighing soundly.

“Thanks Seklos this is done. I believe we are only missing the dead tree that will be then covered in artificial garnishments as a form of apparent belittlement of nature.” He stayed still for a few seconds, mindlessly throwing a little sphere on the ground that divided in four pieces, generating a portal. “… I feel like I’m getting so accustomed with humans’ savageness that I’m even quite looking forwards to it. Especially for that useless invention called ‘tree’.” He snickered, getting inside the wormhole that disappeared as soon as he was in.

Luckily the impossible dimensional gateway appeared of not leaving any trace behind. And luckily the creature – or elf, demigod, Nari was still a bit of a mystery – most connected to the nature that had just been denigrated was way more interested in whatever chef wiz Jim Lake Jr. was preparing.

“You knubhead, I just told you not to!” Archie’s spiteful voice came along, as apparently Steve had managed to take advantage of the situation – a scientific miracle happening in front of them, fair enough – to finally get himself a mince piece. Only to get slapped to the ground.  “That’s it, until these cool down you’re getting nowhere near! Douxie, out with me, we need to guard the treasure!” That was some attachment for one tray of soft and delicious little pastries.

Douxie shrugged and complied, picking up the meal under the jock’s renovated pout and heading to the balcony. The chilling air got to his nose right away, but he endured, appreciating just the tiniest breath. There was barely space for once person there.

Well, one person and his familiar. He placed the tray on the railing, making sure it didn’t fall.

“How did Jim even get the recipe?” Archie grinned.

“Well, apparently his troll friends did remember a certain meal very appreciated by humans from back then, but they have their own idea on how to make it. I don’t know the details, but I certainly know it involves socks. Plenty of socks.”

“… you want to see Steve’s reaction to them later.”

“I want to see Steve’s reaction to them later with all the others. Christmas is supposed to be a family festivity, right?” His grin disappeared right after. “So… it didn’t sound like you were sleeping too well last night.” Yep. He knew. Of course he knew. He would had even if he didn’t have to habit of sneaking into his bed to get warm. “Something you’d like to talk about?”

Douxie breathed out, gently buffing his fluffy ear.

“I’m fine Arch, not need to get all sensible on me. It was one of the usuals.” He tried a weak smile, not really feeling like keeping everything in. Not with so many people inside, on this particular day. “… you know, thinking it now, somehow it was easier celebrating Christmas on the streets back in Camelot. Getting something good to eat, have fun, that was enough. Considering how tense was everyone in the Pendragon castle it’s not much of a surprise, but still… I wonder if Merlin ever had a proper Christmas in there.” He sighed. “He certainly didn’t while I was around.” The noisy streets of Camelot overlapped NYC’s busy ones. He swallowed a lump into his throat.

That legendary town was such a faraway place right now, coming back from a single memory was a slap from reality. Douxie shivered, taking in a freezing breath, gasping when Archie jumped over his shoulder and curled all around his neck. His fur was nice and warm.

“We have no way of knowing. But one thing’s for sure, that old man got a surprising, unexpected present in any case.” Archie smiled, eyeing him softly. “One very sneaky, very foolish, very brave apprentice.” They had been there, the both of them. And in any possible way, in the good, the bad, and the best, he had found a life to call that way. The one Merlin had asked him about.

The master wizard smiled, snuggling his cheek against his loyal friend.

It didn’t take long, the winter air acted like a freezer over the little pies. But as they went back in, the place had already changed – and that was besides AAARRRGGHH!!, with one gigantic hat on his head, holding up the tree while Blinky, wearing a scarf, was reading a manual on how to decorate it, where did he even get that? –: there was a table, appeared again out of nowhere, with all the most delicious looking dishes placed all over between branches of holly and little bells. Jim and Nari were putting down the last dishes, Steve was clumsily getting the statue of a reindeer to balance over the tv, Toby was checking the lights to make sure they were functioning.

And Claire was suddenly in front of him, beaming, clearly hiding something from behind her back. It immediately grabbed everybody’s attention, like it was some sort of event.

Was it?

“We’ve organized the present exchange for after lunch, but this one you need to put it on now. So, her it is!” She uncovered the secret and- Oh. It was a sweater. It was a sweater. For him. “There you go, you’re officially part of the wool club, a Christmas-limited association only.”

“Founder of the association Nancy Domzalski, mostly because it was Nana who made them all!” Toby caressed the front of his sweater, smiling softly. “She’s that kind of grandma that thinks that everything that’s made with love can bring warmth, and I’m kind of a believer too.” He shrugged, crossing his fingers behind the back of his head. “I know this isn’t your cool punk rock wizardy style, but Nana had her midlife crisis in her own time and I’m not exactly looking forward to one before my very own eyes!” That was probably not a sight a grandchild wanted of their grandma, that was understandable.

It was. It was, right? It was getting a little hard to focus on something, anything that wasn’t a soft bundle of black and navy blue stripes, welcoming and warm, with ‘Fuzzbuckets’ written on it. It was getting weird. A little unsettling even, because he just got out in the cold but his bones weren’t freezing anymore and he felt all fuzzy inside and now his eyes were warm and-

“… oh, curse me, not the waterfalls…!” Centuries spent transitioning from hopeless bard to punk rock guitarist, only to tear up at a random surprise Christmas party.

From there, he didn’t understand much. Only Claire’s probable ‘Aww Douxie!’, Toby’s sudden ‘There’s no Christmas without the sad moment’, Steve’s surprising ‘I know what to do, come on everybody, let’s all hug it out!’. And all of the sudden he was enveloped with so many arms, so many different people he had gotten to know and had managed to befriend and appreciate. That were part of his world, his life, and what was coming for the future.

So when he managed to open his eyes, there was so much to uncover, between a pink head, a scarred eyebrow, a lock of leaves and a paw still so close to his cheek. And it hit him that perhaps there was a reason why Camelot had always felt so far away lately.

That age was over. But this, it felt like it had only begun. Douxie smiled, closing his eyes again.

Embracing how good it felt to belong again.