#grief acceptance

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x01 - “Heavy is the Crown” ↳ "I know you doubt your merit of your birthright, Caitlyn. There's wisdom in that. But remember: You're a Kiramman."

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

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[aukkenopsia]

If your instinct right now is to disappear, wait a day. Feel your grief, anger, sadness and despair. Then, choose to stay.

Transform your misery into protective anger, and get ready to mobilize going forward. Envision who it is that is your chosen family, your community which you want to protect, and get activated.

Those communities cannot afford to lose you, don't ask them to get through this on their own.

[yogurthoopsart]

The concept of "the lamb actually legitimately hates the bishops" and "the lamb didn't know that saving them from purgatory meant they'd be joining their cult" is really funny to me. What do you mean I'm suddenly the boss of the guy who killed my family.

[wispedvellichor]

the arc of fourteen reacting to spice up your life like NPH personally kicked his dog to fifteen telling the Baby Eating Goblins to *Hit it Janice* so he could be a part of the DW Camp Evil Musical (TM) is particularly so endearing to me

[haleyincarnate]

In every ending there is a beginning I am willing to chase. In every beginning there is the fear of it all coming to an end.

Give yourself the time to mourn what was and then allow yourself to feel the bliss of starting anew.

[abovesn4kes]

I’m undone already.

[sincerely-sofie]

[skeleton-squid-boy]

twelve is not more ruthless or cruel or endangering than any of his predecessors. he just doesn't hide it. I think he was the kindest doctor because he didn't hide his ruthlessness from his companions, didn't hide it behind a goofy bow tie or the charm that makes people follow him to the end of the universe. . . he showed Clara exactly who he was and the brutal things he was willing to do if he believed they were right. And he didn't pretend to feel bad about them. I think after amy and rory he got tired of how easily people believed he was good, how easy that made them to kill, how their faith in him always always meant they never got home. So he does the kindest thing he can think of, and doesn't hide that they're not just choosing to travel with him, they're also choosing to travel with the death that follows him everywhere he goes. I think he's the first doctor not to hide from that second companion and the part he plays in keeping it onboard.

[merrikitten]

well my abigail hobbs hot take is that she understands alana as a shade of her mother (kind but blind, ineffectual and powerless), hannibal as a shade of her father (the monster who protects her and kills her in equal measures), and will as a mirror of herself (which is why she is repulsed and frightened by him despite all his efforts to connect with her)

[thepeacefulgarden]

[jojo-the-bird]

"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal, and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to."

- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

[im-smart-i-swear]

coming back home.

@barrenclan

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[anthropoetics]

journal of an ordinary grief, mahmoud darwish