#greyscale arc is fucking me up BAD.

[kala-mies]

I did what I had to.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC. OH MY GOD. HEAD IN HANDS. HOLY SHIT. ashe is in college (normal college i think??) VYCNENT IS IN SUPERHERO COLLEGE!!!! wiwi fucking around in the woods..... dakota also in college i think??? idk that wasn't super clear 2 me but i think he's there IDK I WAS JUST SO EXCITED FOR ALL OF THEM TO BE LIKE. EXISTING IN THE SAME PLACE!!!! ashe oughhh ashe i missed u ashe <3 i like to think he still has the trickster's wings. thats canon 2 me idc. oh my godd they're doing like. relatively normal shit!!!!!! aaaa!!!! oh i need 2 write a fic about them in college. i got 2. i MUST. even just a oneshot idc i wanna do it!!!

THE IRL MARIOKART AGAIN!!!! LE FROG!!! WILLIAM'S FUNERAL!!!! THE SILLIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!! SHENANIGANS!!!! oh that was so good. that was SO GOOD!!!!! oh im going 2 cry. i didn't cry and then it got to dakota with his aunt and i teared up a lil and then it had william falling off the cliff and landin gin the dirt and just. holding the soil in his hands and feeling it and i actually cried a lil. man. also CANTRIP IS NOT IN THE SPIRIT WORLD!!! WHERE IS SHE!!! DOES THIS MEAN SHE'S ALIVE OR IS SHE A GHOST I DON'T KNOWWWW GOD I WANT 2 KNOW. I WANT 2!!!! and atlas being killed. an X being carved into him. XAVIER VILLAIN ARC????? 👀👀👀👀 PERHAPS??? god i hope so. i would love to see him as a villain. i rly like xavier actually and i think he deserves to go a little apeshit <3 SO EXCITED FOR WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GONNA HAPPEN WITH MAL!!! GUY WAS ALREADY FUCKED UP AND NOW HE'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED!!!!! i like mal a lot. he fucking sucks. terrible horrible awful little man. i love him so much he's such a cool fucking character i want to throw him out a window <3 idiot shit bastard man!!!!!! and william asking vyncent if he would come to ghim funeral. bro was like THIS CLOSE 2 asking him out. i am telling u. and btw william's fucking "vyncent did you realize anything while i was gone?" right ebfore vyncent just passes tf out in ep39 was so fucking. yeah. that's ghostknife!!!!!!! it always almost happens and then it fucking doesn't!!! i love that for them i hope they're ten times as gay and awkward in s3 <3

GOD. that was so good. finales always fuck me up dude. im so fucking emotional. i feel like my entire being is vibrating like a lightning rod or some shit. ALSO u gotta send me more trivia abt the episodes!!! i think the last one u sent me was for episode 15 of s2. GOD PLS SEND ME GREYSCALE AND DEADWOOD TRIVIA!!!!!! I WANT IT!!!!! I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT THE HELL CHARLIE WAS THINKING DURING GREYSCALE. WHAT WERE UR THOUGHTS KING!!! TELL ME MR SLMCL!!!!!!!!

man. im gonna listen 2 bitb next but i feel like i gotta take a few days first yk??? i gotta let that shit sink in. i hope ur havin a good time reading worm <3 i wil start worm soon!! i just wanna get thru jrwi first bc if i try to get into more than one thing at a time that i know will inhabit my entire brain i feel like my brain is melting. too many blorbo thoughts i gotta stick to one thing first. anyway yeah that was. fucking wild <3 ty for getting me into jrwi i regret nothing

HIIIIIIIIIII WHISKEY. SORRY I LET THIS SIT IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I LOVE YOU.AUGH. PRIME DEFENDERS MY LOVE. every day i think about yakko showing up in cosplay . that made me so happy. ashe winters i love you so dearly. i have so many thoughts about post s2 ashe. if ashe isnt in s3 im going to fucking riot.

when i tell you that fucking part with the cliff made me UGLY CRY . like full on. "and you stay there" lives in my head forever.

EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT A POSSIBLE XAVIER VILLAIN ARC. LIKE. THATS GOTTA BE HIM RIGHT. THAT CANT NOT BE HIM. i wonder if allen is with him. fuck. AND WHERES CANTRIP. GOD. i miss her :( i think she deserves to go full vengeful spirit on williams ass and haunt him like a fucking poltergeist. god forbid women do anything.

dude finales fuck me up so bad too. god. 39 hurts me just a little bit more than 40 but 40 is still SOOOO insanely good to me. 40 was like the breath of fresh air we needed. i dont think 40 hit me as hard as a finale because i know we're getting a 3rd season so its not OVER yet. but something about it just made it feel so much more impactful than a regular season finale. god. i miss them so much.

IM SO GLAD YOU GOT INTO JRWI !!!!!!! ITS BEEN SO FUN SEEING YOU GUYS REACT TO EVERYTHING!!!!!! jrwi has been like. HUGE main hyperfix for me since like. last october. so im having sooooo much fun forever. hehehehe. me when my beloved mutuals and i are all into the same piece of media again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bizlybebo]

can you say random words to me. dump hcs or smthn idk i like yr posts /nf

YEAAAH HIII OFC !!! THIS IS A HUGE COMPLIMENT ^__^ i’m so predictable it’s mostly dakota thoughts right now </3 but i am THINKING about thsi stuoid fucking podcast prime defenders hyperfixation has me in its evil grasp

currently on the second half of my s2 ep 36 rewatch and. gah.

thinking about how grizzly said (paraphrased) “dakota’s not scared of anything anymore. not bears, not— the only thing that he fears now is the horrors from the trickster’s mouth”.

thinking about how he couldn’t even bring himself to hurt the trickster because behind all that distortion and fear it still looked like ashe. like i’ve been saying it so much today but the trickster is sooo fucking terrifying it’s not even funny.

also brainrotting post-canon demonkicks soo bad lately. thinking about dakota “accidentally” leaving his flannels in ashe’s dorm so he has excuses to come visit again. literally ashe gives him back one of his flannels and another two appear.

ALSO still thinking about my “william and dakota are dogs, vyncent and ashe are cats” post and the addition to it and i’m. still ouuuguguhh over it. haven’t yet been able to rewatch the greyscale arc but i’m seriously trying to hype myself up to do it because man i keep thinking about william’s family/childhood. i keep thinking about “i guess deadwood feels like going crazy”, or david keeping apple juice in his office for william, or william seeing his hometown haunted to a further extent. i keep thinking about him being paranoid after greyscale arc and constantly convinced somebody Knows what he’s done.

and while we’re at it i’m thinking a lot about suntrip lately. doomed yuri </3

thinking about summer, who’s body is constantly changing and warping and it’s unfamiliar and scary to her. and i’m thinking about jade, who despite all her teasing of everybody else, loves summer for her determination and her attitude and her personality and how smart she is.

i’m also thinking about doug if i’m being so real. doug jrwi did shitty things but i love him so much and i seriously think he deserves/deserved sooo much better. like c’mon. he was only 17-18. the overlord’s entire syndicate was breathing down his neck. he was an asshole but i love him he means the world to me. thinking about him saying “sup losers” when he sees pd in deadwood again. thinking about him laughing when william(?) slides a can of monster energy over to him in s2 ep19. like it’s small details like that but come ONN. it’s not quite forgiveness but it’s allyship and it’s understanding. thinking about his redemption and character growth. thinkingggg about his friendship with summer and how she didn’t give up on him when he had probably given up on himself. thinking about the shared guilt they have. thinkinggggg. doug jrwi they could never make me hate you <3

also transfem professor cross ^__^ also vyncent collects shiny things (mostly gold) and he’s so proud of his collection. he stole lightspeeds watch one time before he understood how important those things were. also i tjink ashe winters deserves a gun

[macgyvertape]

BSD spring '23 season liveblog

The most annoying thing is in some places eps 38-50 are season 3 and are season 4 in others 

Ep1 has phenomenal use of color where its greyscale and basically monotone except for a few details, but its done so well that there’s depth and contrast with the grey on grey. The full color showing up from Ranpo’s PoV then is a shock and drives home the different viewpoint. Even the fight choreography of Oda vs Fukuzawa comes across clearly and better done than most full color fights in other shows 

Living for this Ranpo serious character focus. The glasses transition as the world shifts into color. I’ve said it once but its so fucking good

Fukuzawa being featured in the flashback arc makes me appreciate him so much more, like I hadn’t paid him as much attention as other secondary characters because he got so little spotlight and seemed to have his shit together

Oh shit, there’s Fyodor Dostoevsky! I was expecting the Port Mafia but not him 

What the name of the music that plays post credits ep 3

Thrilled by Poe getting to star in a 2 episode plot, his focus episode was one of the things that made the Guild arc my favorite current day arc

Lmfao Poe being filthy rich and Ranpo having such a bad reaction was hilarious

The mysteries in the show are such fun

Tripping out on Poe’s ability synth wave room 10 hours

Lmao what did Rampo expect, that Mushitaro wouldn’t immediately be killed?

Nikolai’s psycho showman killer routine is super annoying and the episode isn’t even halfway

Love to see the trap build up very obviously with viewer knowledge

Great dark with red color pallets with ep7

Damn the hunting dogs get a cool music intro (they get it twice!)

From the word criminal i expected the Port Mafia to show up, but damn Chuuya has a great entrance

Kunikida is really going through it ever since the tunnels, i love when good writing stresses a character’s ideals hard, so this plotline where things build and build and build has been great.

Kunikida made what looks like a sacrifice play, time to stay up to watch this. He has such plot armor that I can’t believe he’s dead.

Really enjoying how many other characters than Danzai and Atsushi get to be in the spotlight this season

Soon as I say that Danzai shows up as a plot twist. His intelligence is very much a plot device, which is why (IMO) fandom Danzai fic falls flat a lot of the time where its “he would not fucking say that/he’s not this much a woobie and is smarter than this”

I've been playing a drinking game for the number of anime eyeglass flashes this season

Yosano gets a PoV episode, and peak example of how this shows can explore darker themes even with a healing ability, and also nail the emotional impact with the camera pan on the medallion and suicide note

Into my drinking game and I’m really noticing and appreciating the little bursts of music for 10-30 seconds  

Hmm Hirotsu is the 2nd character where it seems the hunting dogs have got a kill but body isn’t shown to the viewer 

Was not expecting Tachihara to be the last Hunting Dogs member. I better rewatch earlier seasons

Glad Mushitaro is alive, he’s a fun character haunted by the death of his best friend

Ango is getting some fun reveals this episode

Wtf is this sky casino, this helicarrier looking thing

“Most terrifying thing is a mediocre man who’s desperate”. Unfortunately true

I thought it was obvious that Sigma and Sky Casino came from the Book, but they’re making sure to spell it out 

Wow the Hunting Dogs have to go through fucked up surgeries every month or they’ll die horribly. It explains so much. (Wish I could find more fanworks that are this quality of “the limits these characters will go for their objective” and less shallow fluff)

The good outro music is back again in ep 13

Cliffhanger nooo! This ranks as new best season of BSD really enjoyed the amount of angst this season. 

Once again I wish this fandom would stop spam tagging things especially when I want to find secondary character focused works.

[swordmaid]

Super unpopular opinion in the gen fandom but Brienne as forever the Starks’ sidekick is so unappetizing. I don’t mind her official knighthood as long as it goes into how she reforms the system or the Starks respect her as an older sister/advisor. Whenever I read fics where Jaime dies & leaves her loveless so she guards the Starks is depressing to me? Like ‘oh, you loved the wrong man so you have to make it up to dedicating your whole life to the right family’ or ‘she’s loyal (ie dumb) muscle.

Yes, she is Duncan’s heir parallel but it is not a 1:1 comparison. She is his foil too. The characters’ genders, ages, and social statuses play a huge role in their arcs, personalities, and experiences. To have them end in the same place is just ??? Besides, Tarth’s place as an invasion means she will probably be thrust into a leadership role. Honestly, the only other worse ending is if she ends up with Hyle like a bad romcom written by a Nice Guy Incel whose inspiration came from a wet dream.

Also the Baratheon’s are dying, no one is officially in charge of it, the siege of Storm’s End is ongoing, Aegon’s forces are sweeping the area, Greyscale. Besides Davos, Brienne is the most significant POV from the Stormlands most likely to survive. Yes, she’ll probably find kinship & respect in the North. However, I’ve a hard time believing a woman who fears not being a good heir & is dutiful & compassionate even to people who were cruel to her would just abandon the place she grew up.

The Stormlands, like the Riverlands, are going to need strong and moral leadership when all of this is done, especially if Edric Storm is named Lord Paramount since he is just a kid and a bastard at that. Brienne, who has first hand experience with suffering and commits acts of small and large compassion, would be needed.

Same anon who ranted about Brienne, glad you liked my take! Wanted to add that if Brienne becomes a knight, I want her to lead reforms to take away knighthood from people who exploit it and focus it more on community engagement, knights other women, etc. while the show’s knighting scene is excellently acted, I feel :/ for it as a capstone for her arc because I feel like there are many plots that can come from and they just go oops, she’s Kingsguard now. Let’s not explain why she wants to!

Let’s not explore what it means to be a woman in a corrupt and toxically masculine field in such a visible job title! Let’s not explore the challenges of holding others accountable and how to stay ethical and not jaded/numb in a difficult job field. Let’s not explore how it will impact other women to see a female knight! Let’s make a knight and move on, people! We got CGI dragons and world’s most dull conclusion to film.

my reply is under the cut because this is already so long, but YASSSSSSS GO OFF!!!

I always and will forever express it--- i hate brienne as a sworn sword to the Starks. Gonna even go FURTHER to say that she’s not even MEANT to be a sworn sword. The fact that the two people she has sworn under died--and even if it’s out of her control--i think that’s going to have a play in her stance about this whole thing. I’ve said it before again, I don’t care about her getting knighting all too much as well because acquiring the title of the knight/ser isn’t what’s important--it’s her being recognized as one. we know, from the various of knights in the series, that having the title of ‘ser’ doesn’t mean shit when none of them uphold the values. we also know that hedge knights has a reputation of them being beggars with swords, and they’re usually frowned at. brienne achieving that recognition that she is a true knight without actually having the title of ‘ser’ herself would be important to her character imo because her character has been heavily and constantly judged by crowd perception throughout the series. even if she has the title of ‘ser’ who would believe it? if say, hyle knights her or jaime knights her, would other characters in the series believe that she actually has that title or would they think she’s just fucking around? achieving that crowd recognition--having that perception from the small folk etc. would mean so much more since it actually shows that you don’t need to be a ‘knight’ to be seen as a true knight, since all it boils down to is if you uphold the values or not (which she already does). though it would be nice to have, brienne doesn’t really need the title of a knight since she’s already one. she just needs to be recognised as one because so far, jaime, pod (maybe hyle?) is the only one who recognises her as one. (i would argue the lil kids in the orphan inn too)

I love the idea of her mentoring Edric Storm actually. Personally, I love entertaining the idea that Brienne doesn’t serve under anyone anymore, rather, she serves the small folk. her ‘political power’ comes from the influence that she garners from the people in the realm. and as you know with ice and fire, the opinions of the smallfolk & bannerman ACTUALLY matters like it’s not just a game between the great houses, and i think brienne will bring some relevancy to that. But in a scenario where she becomes an advisor for Edric Storm as some sort, I can definitely see her wanting to focus on the safety of their people first and foremost.

My mind is going off on a tangent rn but I don’t see her ruling over a land as well actually. I think a lot of factors will definitely come to play + it would depend on how this would end, but I don’t think Brienne would rule in some way. This is just mostly because I see so much ‘hero’ and ‘legend’ motifs peppered in her POV that if the series ends and she lives, the ending that I see her having is EITHER she’s gonna settle down with jaime somewhere OR she’s gonna go off with pod and continue to help and protect people ala dunk and egg. I’ve never seen her as a character who would rule; I don’t think she has any political agenda, but obviously that can be changed and I can be convinced otherwise but currently that’s where my mind is rn. 

And I don’t want to think about the show’s knighting and Brienne being in the Kingsguard honestly dfkgdjg I refuse to have the show occupying my psyche like, no thanks!!! All I’m going to say that if brienne’s path leads to that in the books I’m gonna hunt down germ’s cabin in the woods 

[disaster-by-chance]

Okay, okay, I think I'm finally going to address Clover's death.

I know a lot of people had mixed feelings towards Clover and that a lot of people had upset feelings about his death, but I just wanna put my own opinions on it out here for all y'all.

Clover Thoughts:

At first, I wasn't too sure what to think about Clover. I wanted to like him and his team, I really did. I always get excited when cool new characters are introduced and these guys were no exception. However, since I didn't know them well and they all seemed really cocky, I couldn't help but think that they were going to be traitors or something. I bought into the Clover is a traitor theories, despite me being really interested in his character.

For me,, when someone like Clover comes along, big, confident, strong, I immediately latch onto them. There's just something so intriguing about those kinds of people that just draws me in. So I couldn't resist him. But I also didn't trust him.

Time went on and slowly I began to trust him. He really hadn't shown any warning signs or hinted at betrayal, so I started to step away from the traitor theories. I did have a nightmare in where Clover did turn and it destroyed some of the trust I had built up,, but we don't talk about that.

Okay, I liked Clover. I genuinely did. I know some fans didn't care too much for him or they just didn't like him at all, but I did. I thought he was an interesting character and I was excited to see how he and Qrow's relationship (not necessarily romantically) would play out. I just wanted luck puns

I think part of me liking Clover is just that he was nice to Qrow. He was different in his actions to him and that kinda helped Qrow with his journey to recovery. If it wasn't obvious, Qrow is my favorite character from RWBY. I'm just naturally drawn to characters who have problems and then just suddenly turn into dad figures.

So since he was nice to Qrow, I liked him. And that's just me, that's how I am. If someone's nice to me,, I just fall for them instantly. You have my never ending loyalty. Clover had my loyalty.

Soon Clover played a bigger part in how I lived life. I started to want to be more like him, more positive, more uplifting, and all that crap. I spent a week giving my siblings compliments and it freaked them out. Clover's character made me want to be better. Hell, we don't know how much Clover knew about Qrow before James paired them up. He was just nice for the sake of being nice. What was he going to get out of it? He just saw that Qrow needed a friend, Qrow needed to get better, and so he helped. And gods,, that really did motivate me.

His clover became a helpful symbol for me. I made a little paper cut out to put in my phone case for some good luck. Then I made a wallpaper of the pin for my digital watch face as a reminder to be better. And last Saturday I made a keychain to have with me at all times. A reminder to be better about things. More positive.

I guess you could say he was something of a role model to me? And I know that's ridiculous after what he did and seeing as he wasn't here for long,, but damn...I really did like him.

I don't know. I just really liked him and wish I knew more about his past and semblance. I wish his story could've been explored more and stuff but...Things didn't quite work out that way.

The Fight:

I was,, disappointed to say the least. And at this point, I don't even know why I expect anything from any creator.

Look, I'm in the Marvel and Star Wars fandoms so I've had my fair (haha) share of bad characterization, bad arcs, and bad writing. But I thought RWBY was different and better than that.

I spent most of the scenes when they were fighting in anger. Tyrian was their target. He was more of a priority. They should've acted like civilized huntsman. But no.

And I get it, Clover had to do his job. They were all under stress and the atmosphere was really tense, I understand. But really?

I'm glad Qrow attempted to talk things out, but then, y'know...That didn't work out well in the end.

After the plane crash, I was devastated. I hated seeing the two fight against each other after seeing them work so well together in capturing Tyrian, and it just sucked.

I kept telling them to just talk it out, and in between the fighting they kinda did, but it just hurt. The hurt in Qrow's voice? Ugh. So good.

The teamup?? I get it. Qrow doesn't want to fight both of them, but why not turn into a bird and fly away? Or would that not work? I don't know..Anything else would've been nice.

Still hated these fight scenes. Even if the choreography was really good.

His Death Thoughts:

If you didn't buy into the traitor theory, then you had the death theory. That either him or someone from the Ace Ops was going to kick the bucket. And if you were like me, you believed both were possible.

When I was unsure about Clover, I also bought into the death theories. I didn't really want him to die, but I knew that it could happen, but I thought it would be later on. Other times I found it very possible that both would happen. And they fucking did.

At this point, I had totally forgotten about the death theories. I loved Clover too much to believe in that kind of shit. So when it happened, it hit me like a bus.

I was in utter shock and I don't think I started crying till later. After the video ended,, I just slammed my laptop shut and sobbed for a good ten minutes.

It was probably the most brutal thing I'd ever seen and just,, it hurt so much. Emotionally and physically. It just sucked..

I was upset because I knew he wasn't coming back from this. It was a huge wound. I was upset because I loved Clover. Stop killing my favorites. I was upset because it could've been avoided. And I was upset because what was the point other than for Qrangst?

I'm going to be honest, the scene did make me a little sick. And for the rest of the day I just had a terrible feeling in my stomach and that night I had a nightmare because of all the stress and pain I was feeling over the death.

So, yeah. It really did affect me and I hated the whole thing a lot. Not from a shipping point of view or anything, but because I liked Clover and because I want just a little more Qrangst, not a lot.

Throughout the week though, my brain has tried to both hurt and try to comfort me over my loss. Constantly the scene of him being stabbed replays in my mind and then everything goes greyscale before a kazoo verison of "Piano Man" starts to play. It's ridiculous and I hate my brain for thinking about it.

But the death did make me feel a lot of things. None that which were positive emotions.

Fan Response:

Okay, I love being in a fandom. I do. But with every fandom comes toxicity and RWBY is no exception. We probably have some of the worst cases of toxic fans, right next to Star Wars and Marvel.

I acknowledge that it feels like queerbaiting and BYGs,, but I just,, I don't know.

I think death threats are terrible. There's no reason for this. It's a fucking ship. Representation is great, I know. I'm a biracial bisexual, I live for representation. Nothing was explicitly said (i.e Clover flat out saying that he was gay or bi or pan,, ect)

Were they flirting? Maybe. Did things happen off screen that we didn't get to see? Likely. Yeah, they had their gay moments but Clover's trying to get Qrow to loosen up. He wants him to crack jokes with him and stuff. Y'all gotta be friends first before any sort of romantic relationships blossom.

Yes, shame on CRWBY for hyping Fairgame up and then literally killing it, but the need for death threats?? Quitting the show?? Ridiculous! They're real life humans who enjoy working on this show! Leave them be!

Look, every fandom has a moment in where their fans are left disappointed. They can't please everyone but they try their best and I think CRWBY is one example.

I'm a multishipper. I don't care who ends up with who, so long as they're happy. And so since one guy is dead and the other is probably broken by it,, you can say I'm upset too.

Am I sending death threats? No. Do I feel for Fairgame shippers. Yes. Will I quit watching the show? Of course fucking not. Am I hoping Clover comes back? 🤡 It's not that complicated.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts on the major controversies that came out of the last episode. Let me know what y'all thought.

And please. Be respectful.

It's what Monty would want.

[emubop]

Adding on to my post from yesterday, I’m just gonna list all the issues I have with Disco (a separate list of the things I love soon to come!)

Under a cut for length and for spoilers. Seriously. Major spoilers ahead. And tw for discussions of character death, if that bothers you.

With that in mind, let’s get to it! (This is in no particular order, btw.)

Starting with the last two episodes, since they’re pretty fresh in my mind - they felt very rushed. I’ve seen some people say that the season should have ended right when they got back from the mirrorverse, and I completely agree. The final arc felt like it needed at least two more episodes to be fleshed out. I wanted to see more of the characters actually dealing with what happened in the mirrorverse, and having time for development; and while we got a little bit of that between Michael and Ash, it wasn’t very much. And like, I get why. When you’ve only got two episodes to get the plot where you need it to go, of course character development is going to be sacrificed for time. Which is why I think they should have either a) added more episodes to the end of season one, or b) ended the season with the mirror arc, so that they’d have more time to explore the Klingon war thing at the beginning of season 2. Disco has some very wonderful characters who are very deserving of development and growth, and it’s unfortunate that they didn’t get it.

Culber’s death... This is the main point where I’m like “yeah, I don’t blame you for not liking the show anymore,” because I came very close to that too. In the end, I do still think I like the rest of the show overall, but this part... I just about stopped watching. In short - the way the show treated Dr. Culber was absolutely shitty. Sure, I’m like 99% certain they’ll end up bringing him back in season 2, but in the meantime, he’s still very much dead. And NOT ONLY did they use the “bury your gays” trope, but out of only TWO gay characters, they buried the man of color. Like... that’s just... what the fuck.

I’m expanding this into multiple points, bc it’s the biggest point I have. Culber’s death is legitimately the worst thing Disco has done. Not only just the fact that they killed him, but how they did it. His death was violent, sudden, and meaningless. The main characters barely even get to react to it before moving on. His killer doesn’t face trial or repercussions. (Note - I personally see Voq as being entirely the murderer and not Tyler, since Tyler had no agency in the killing and was if anything just a tool, but either way, no justice is served.) And then we, the audience, have to see the brutal killing scene AGAIN in the “previously on” section of the next episode or two, which makes it seem like they’re using this horrific event as mere shock value. I literally felt sick to my stomach watching it. What happened was disgusting, and I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to watch the show anymore because of it.

I trust Wilson Cruz. I trust Anthony Rapp. I trust them when they say that there’s a plan, that Culber will come back, that this will work out at some point. Their reassurances do help me personally to make some measure of peace with the situation. I don’t want to think that two openly gay actors would sign onto the script if this is how it ends between their characters. But right now, Culber is still dead, for no good reason that I can see, and it still stings. This is justifiably upsetting. And until I see him come back with my own two eyes, yeah, I’m not gonna be happy about it.

Aaaaand speaking of death, let’s talk about Georgiou. I just... that’s not a good way to start your show off, ngl. You take a very strong and deep character, played by Michelle Yeoh no less, and then just kill her? It’s bad writing. They could have easily had Michael transferred off the Shenzhou and arrested and kept Captain Georgiou alive. They could have even kept the whole “tragic backstory” thing in play, with Michael and Philippa no longer on speaking terms, and Michael mourning the loss of what was once such a close relationship. (I do appreciate that they brought her back as her mirror counterpart - and boy howdy the Emperor is a good character - so that does take a little bit of the sting out, but still. Not the best way to open the show.)

And then Landry dies in both universes?? I can accept mirror!Landry dying because of the whole “Lorca’s second hand” thing, but like... god, this show has got to stop killing off poc. Especially woc. I can understand that they’re trying to do a “raceblind” thing, and I understand their reasoning - the whole “it’s a utopian future and everyone is treated the same!” thing - but it doesn’t really work like that irl for the audience. Unless someone is actually literally colorblind and sees everything in greyscale, no one has any business saying they “don’t see color.” And no one should be casting with that mindset. The situation could certainly be a lot worse - they’ve got Michael, at least, and she’s fucking amazing - but it could also be better.

And yeah, it’s a warzone, and people are going to die. I get that. But just... do some critical thinking about who you’re killing, why, and if it can be avoided. If for no other reason, it makes the story a lot stronger in the long run.

It’s the year of our lord twenty-gayteen, can we stop having the makeup on white people playing Kingons being so hmmm questionable maybe?

(With regards to several of the above points, I’m white, so please let me know if I’m overstepping my bounds here. And like the point about Culber - I wouldn’t blame anyone for disliking/not supporting the show because of these reasons, and I’m not ever going to try to convince anyone that these things are okay. Because they aren’t. Just because I like certain elements enough to give the show a second chance with season two, doesn’t mean that anyone else will or should do the same. Continuing.)

Why the fuck is this show so obsessed with eating people? Stop it. Get some help.

The only explicitly bisexual/pansexual person we see is the Emperor, who sleeps with both a man and a woman and seems very satisfied with both parties afterwards. Which, okay, cool, except she was also trying to get information out of them, so whether or not she was even attracted to either one is debatable. I personally think she was - thanks to Michelle Yeoh’s acting, which is a goddamn gift - but that still leaves us with the only representation of bi/pan people being a murderous emperor from the mirror universe. And the “relationship” is entirely sex-based, as well as being with multiple people at once, which only furthers the stereotype of bi/pan being promiscuous, being only bi for a threesome, being untrustworthy. And to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with one night stands or poly relationships! Those things are perfectly fine! But when that’s all that bi/pan people are shown as, it can play into really damaging stereotypes - and as a bi/pan person, I’m frankly getting a little fucking sick of it.

(I mean, it’s better than DS9′s “mirrorverse=gay/bi/pan” thing, I’ll give it that, but I’m not going to give any show brownie points for reinforcing harmful stereotypes. You’ve improved slightly, Trek, but not nearly as much as you should have.)

I’m just making another point here for Dr. Culber’s death because seriously. Fucking seriously. What the fuck.

I would’ve liked to have seen more one-off episodes, like “Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad.” That was a fucking awesome episode. It’s fun! It’s got character development! I wanna see more of that!

The portrayal of Klingon culture is a bit inconsistent. And okay, to be entirely truthful, I’m really not that into Klingons in general? So having a plot centered around them wouldn’t be my first choice anyway. But if you’re going to do it, please do it right. It felt like the writers sometimes “forgot” important elements of Klingon culture for the sake of the plot, and just... come on. The Klingons are brutal warriors, yes. They’ve killed innocent civilians in the course of battle, sure. But they have a whole honor code, and going out of their way to murder thousands of helpless, defenseless people? Correct me if I’m wrong, but it just doesn’t quite seem to fit.

I really, really wanna see more of the bridge crew! I wanna get to know them! They seem so cool who are they please Disco I’m begging you

This is a very dumb, very tiny thing, but I was kinda hoping I’d see some Cardassian makeup in the crowd while we were in the Seedy Black Market on Qo’noS. Did appreciate the Trill lady tho!

I dunno, the ending almost felt... too neat? If that makes sense? I would have liked things more ambiguous, a few more loose ends. It felt like they threw in a happy ending out of nowhere; it didn’t really match the tone of the rest of the show.

Speaking of tone - it felt to me like Disco was trying to mix the upbeat, thoughtful, philosophical tone of classic Trek with the grittier, more critical, more heavy tone of DS9. I love both classic Trek and DS9, but they don’t exactly mix very well. Disco’s tone felt a bit confused and convoluted. And like, here’s the thing - classic Trek doesn’t preclude heavy subjects (”Conscience of the King” from TOS is a great example), and shows like DS9 don’t preclude fun and optimism (there’s episodes like “Explorers” that are uplifting, and “Take Me Out to the Holosuite” is a fucking delight). Star Trek at its best should always tackle difficult issues, should always have determination, should always have hope. DS9 had a more morally gray outlook, yes, and certainly questioned the idea that the Federation is utopian, but it was still underpinned by the main characters wanting to do good. Wanting to improve the world around them. It managed to do a very good job of adapting Trek’s message to its darker tone - whereas Disco feels like it’s flip-flopping between having a darker tone and trying to be like TOS. Like, buddy, just pick one. You just gotta pick one.

The more times Sarek shows up in Disco, the more he looks like a complete dick to Spock in TOS. This isn’t necessarily a complaint, because Sarek being a dick is certainly in character for him, but I’d like to see that disparity in how he treats his children addressed. By his wife. Specifically by his wife. Amanda is a national treasure and I need her to call her husband out.

idk I think there’s more but like, I’ve been working on this for hours - WAIT HANG ON

This has been bugging me since the beginning of the show, because while Michael’s mutiny was certainly a bad idea, she technically... didn’t really do much of anything before being taken to the brig? She almost has the ship fire on a Klingon vessel, but Georgiou shows up and stops her. Helm locked phasers on the vessel on Michael’s orders, yes, but earlier they locked phase cannons on the vessel for a short time, which Georgiou agreed to. Her actions during the mutiny didn’t really change their situation at all. So why does everyone blame her for starting the war?

“But she killed that Klingon during her spacewalk!” Yeah, she did, because he came charging at her with a bat’leth with the intention to kill. In that scenario, her actions were self-defense. She attempted to talk to him, he then proceeded to try to kill her, so she fought back to save her own life and ended up killing him in the process. And all this happened while she was investigating a foreign object in Federation territory. So while I can see why she was charged with mutiny and assaulting a fellow officer, I don’t think it’s fair to say that she started the war. The Klingons on the ship of the dead were planning to start shit before anyone even got there.

I can understand why Starfleet would have thought Michael started it, at least at first, because unlike the audience, they couldn’t see the Klingons planning beforehand. That’s fair. But then Ash Tyler shows up, and he’s revealed to be Voq - who was there! he knows what happened on that ship! - and eventually, he loses Voq’s consciousness but retains the guy’s memories. So Ash knows how the war started. Ash knows, or should know, that the Klingons on that ship were the instigators. Why wouldn’t he tell Starfleet before fucking off with L’Rell? He says he loves Michael, so why wouldn’t he want to set the record straight? And most importantly, why wasn’t Michael told any of this?! She’s been blaming herself for this whole war, she’s been suffering needlessly for it, let her fucking rest! Yeah, she was exonerated and accepted back into Starfleet, which is great, but it came across as “welp you basically cleaned up the mess of a war you started and saved Earth from annihilation, so I guess we’ll clear the slate for you.” It should have been more like “well given what we know now, we can say that you’re innocent of starting interstellar war; and as for the rest, stopping the destruction of Earth is a hell of a community service, so you know what? Welcome back.”

My point is, Michael Burnham has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life

Alright, at this point I think that about sums it up, and I’m tired of looking at this anyways because it’s been hours now, so uh, yeah. Thanks for coming to my ted talk

[filligan-universe]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi FAQs

Spoilers ahead.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi has undergone some harsh criticisms. While I need another watch to fully form my viewpoint, I came out of the film exhilarated and happy with the direction Rian Johnson had led this franchise into. If Star Wars is to survive, it needs to grow, and growing pains are a fact of life. One of the best defenses of the film is by Jacob Hall on Slashfilm -- the crux of which is that Rian Johnson deliberately set fire to all that we know about Star Wars, burned it down to the ground, and did so as a fan of the series himself. It’s a fascinating take and one I will try to avoid repeating here -- just read the article. Instead, I simply want to answer some frequently asked questions -- or FAQs as the kids call them these days -- to soothe some of the still-lingering rage hangovers some fans have. 

Q: Why doesn’t Holdo just tell Poe her plan? She could’ve avoided all of the bad shit that happened! Right?

A: Why would she tell Poe her secret plan to ensure the literal survival of the Resistance? Poe is coming hot off a bombing run where he needlessly cost lives. His arrogance got him demoted by Leia. So explain to me why Holdo is beholden to give her answers to any stir-crazy pilot that’s crisscrossing her bridge, making demands, flailing about dramatically while questioning her ability to lead? Leia’s last conscious act beforehand was to demote Poe, but because we can see an easy way to avoid Poe’s mutiny that means Holdo as a character should? This is a case where fans keep trying to apply logic that we, as an audience, understand but the characters in the context of the film do not. Holdo owes Poe nothing. She derides his recklessness and, almost in punishment, keeps him in the dark. It comes back to bite her, but she has no reason to believe that Poe would be so reckless as to initiate a mutiny, and we can’t expect her to just because we’re on Poe’s side.

Q: Why don’t people just hyperspace kamikaze ALL of their enemies if it’s such a successful, devastating military maneuver? 

A: Some questions based on the premise of this question: How do we know this has ever been attempted before? Did Holdo, in her desperation, know what the effect would be, or was she just acting in desperation and hoping for some kind of result? But even if these questions don’t give you pause and you still think the Rebels should’ve been hyperspace-suiciding since the early days of A New Hope, what would possess the Rebels to do that? They’re a small alliance against a hopelessly overwhelming Empire, but they should just be sacrificing valuable people and ships in kamikaze attacks? Sorry, don’t buy it. Holdo’s act was the first we’ve seen of it because it was an act of desperation. She was literally out of options and possessed a ship that was doomed anyway. If the Rebels/Resistance did this all the time, they’d be depleted within a week while the Empire/First Order just builds more war vessels.

Q: Why did Finn and Rose have their side-story at all? It didn’t amount to anything!

A: It does a few things: it keeps Finn’s character arcing and it pushes him to the point where, by the end, he’s willing to sacrifice himself for the Resistance. Early on, he’s still willing to abandon ship just to save Rey. His adventure with Rose widens and shapes his perspective. Secondly, this side-story does have a direct result on the plot: the code-breaker flips them and reveals to the First Order that the Resistance is secretly escaping on transports. Some may not like that our heroes go on an adventure only to worsen everything by accident, but that’s a thread running through this whole film. To lean back and see it stretch from opening crawl to broom boy is to see Rian Johnson’s thematic intent. And maybe that’s too artsy for some, maybe that’s too thin a line to hang your film on for some, and some may not just care. But I argue Johnson’s theme of failure, which I’ll return to, deepens an already character-heavy film. The way it echoes across each storyline makes the film more cohesive than some are saying it is.

Q: But space Leia?!

A: I’m gonna be downright honest here, folks: I don’t get it. No, not this scene -- I mean you folks who are probably making Rian Johnson dummies to burn in effigy over this scene. I found the scene provocatively different, an interesting take on the concept of the Force, and a humungous pick-me-up after believing we had lost Leia so early and so simply. Those angry that we’d never seen Leia use the Force to such an extent before should be pleased that we have confirmation that, yes, the daughter and mother and sister of three of the galaxy’s most powerful Force-wielders can also, by golly, control the Force to some extent. If you’re complaining about how silly it looked, well, I mean, sure, but Star Wars is full of silly-looking stuff. I dunno, I didn’t think it looked that bad, and this really comes down to a matter of taste. But if this is the hill some fans are willing to die on? Oof, good luck, Episode 9. 

Q: Who is Snoke?!

A: Yeah, really, where did he come from? This all-powerful, evil being with untold knowledge of the Force, with powers we can’t yet comprehend, able to coax one of the galaxy’s best and brightest to the dark side -- where the hell did he come from? What’s wrong with his face? It’s all grey and melted and shit! And how the hell did he become a Senator for Naboo anyway? When the hell did that shit start? Did he just think, “Oh, yeah, Senator for Naboo -- that’s a good start to taking over the galaxy!” -- like it’s working up the chain at a Walmart or something. 

...Oh! Sorry. I thought we were talking about, uhh, someone else. Yeah, who the heck is that Snoke guy? It really matters for some reason.

Q: Luke? Luke?? LUKE?!?!

A: The time of Luke Skywalker is over. I know we all wanted to see Luke’s green lightsaber ignite into frame the moment all odds looked insurmountable. I know we wanted to see him cut a bunch of troopers down, to make the First Order tremble, to finally meet Kylo Ren in a duel. Those are the easy answers. Those are the “Darth Vader Rogue One” answers -- and though they might kick ass, they might send fans into foamy-mouthed frenzies, Star Wars needs to start subverting our expectations, it needs to stop appeasing everyone’s expectations, it needs to stop making us feel safe in our galaxy away from home, because it needs to grow out of the shadow of the Original Trilogy if it has any hope of flourishing in Disney’s hands. The decisions Johnson made with Luke in this film -- all of them mirror that. They’re smart, deeper character decisions that show us another side to the hero we grew up with, and ultimately make him a more complicated man. He bests Kylo through his mind, not brute strength, and he saves our heroes with a self-sacrifice that closes his chapter and allows new ones to continue. It’s not the epic finale to a lightsaber duel that we pictured growing up. But that’s okay. There’s kind of a beauty in the fact that this sequel trilogy is mirroring the OT -- the second act completely breaking from the good-fun-times that was its predecessor to dive into dark waters and deeper into its characters -- while trying to weed out our preconceived limits of what Star Wars should be. 

Q: Why did Rose save Finn? He would’ve saved everyone and his character would’ve had purpose!

A: Somehow not buying that if the First Order lost their battering ram canon, the Resistance would be saved. They hadn’t assumed an escape was possible until Luke showed up. As for Finn, what does delaying the inevitable slaughter of his friends do for him in the long run from a story perspective? The guy needs to reunite with Rey and Poe and apply his newfound perspective to grander purposes, not flicker out in a useless self-sacrifice. Rose saves him because the time for self-sacrifice is over. The Resistance needs every last fighter. Keeping the wolves at bay won’t do it. The wolves are still out there at your front door. Ya know, it just isn’t enough for Finn, if you ask me. I’m glad Rose saved him. I’m glad to see him fight for another Episode.

Q: Why did they bring Phasma back just to have her go out like a punk again? Boy, that was unsatisfying!

A: Yeah, I can’t believe a Star Wars film would introduce a cool-looking character and then just kill said character off in such a quick and unsatisfying way.

Q: What’s with all the humor? If this is the dark second act, why are all these cheesy jokes flyin’ at my face? They’re all such groaners, too!

A: I dunno what kind of sad audience some people saw this with. I watched this on opening night with a sold-out theatre of over 400 people, and everybody was fucking gobbling up the jokes. And by jokes, I mean every damn joke. The opening Poe/Hux dialogue, the Porg stuff, the tenser moments undercut by humor. Everybody was having a good time with it. I think it’s Rian Johnson’s natural writing, to be honest, but it’s not like they’re a far cry from what we normally get in these movies. I will take a few more jokes than normal as opposed to what George Lucas proposed as comic relief in 1999, followed by long stints of political debate in literal greyscale. By the way, has anyone watched any of the original trilogy lately? Because shit like “Laugh it up, fuzzball” and “scruffy-looking nerfherder” and C-3P0 being mistaken as a god by a bunch of teddy bears... really, all of the humor from those movies holds up and I don’t know why we don’t see more of it in modern films.

Q: But the “on hold” line from Poe, though... right? I mean, contemporary phrases in a Star Wars film? That doesn’t fit. Does that even make sense in this universe?

A: I don’t know, but if this is what broke your immersion, then in the immortal words of Han Solo, I’ll see you in hell.

Q: How did ghost Yoda conjure lightning?

A: How the fuck do ghosts anything in these movies? God! Obi-Wan sits down on a fucking tree stump in Return of the Jedi because Alec Guinness is old and tired, but lightning? From the sky?? Puppets can’t do that! I mean Force ghosts can’t do that! You guys are right on this one! It doesn’t make sense! The whole movie is ruined now. What’s that about failure, Yoda? I wasn’t paying attention to you literally telling Luke/the audience why everybody in this movie keeps failing and why that’s important for us to see and why that’s also a great message for kids to hear because twenty seconds ago you conjured lightning from the sky! That’s not how the Force works! I should know -- I’m just some guy!

Q: Rey’s parents are nobodies? That kinda sucks! What a letdown!

A: No, it’s great! It’s fantastic. People need to let go of their theories. Learn to separate them from the path the films need to follow. This whole Skywalker dynasty thing needs to end. Luke is so relatable in A New Hope because he’s a nobody from nowhere, yet he’s able to tap into the Force through his own individual talents and determination. That’s inspiring. Rey being special because she’s got Skywalker or Kenobi blood is, well, not only does it zap that relatability from her, but it’s boring. We’ve seen the bloodline stuff. It’s time to follow a different kind of destiny, a different kind of story. We need to allow Star Wars to breathe outside of the echo chamber we’ve made of the past. This decision may have been the best and wisest of them all, which is why it wouldn’t surprise me if JJ Abrams retcons it with Episode 9 to say Kylo was lying just to make some of the whiners out there happy. 

Look, folks, The Last Jedi is far from perfect. It doesn’t reach the dazzling heights of Empire, but I’ll be shocked if Disney ever gets there. The film has real issues with pacing and plot, but the most common criticisms, as I’ve just listed, are misplaced and require some more thought. That’s my only goal here: not really to change anyone’s mind, but to at least encourage some more thoughts on what people think isn’t working. I was excited about the possibilities after this film, especially Rian Johnson’s side-trilogy. But the response to this film really made me scratch my head. For the first time, I wondered how many Star Wars fans actually know Star Wars.

[loavesofoaves]

fuck this show man

Man I can’t even review GOT anymore because it is SO BAD. The writing has just become so lazy at this point that the show is a parody of itself and I don’t know how critics can think this is Emmy level????

While some of the leaks didn’t end up being true, the ones that were were even worse than I imagined. Especially the Arya and Sansa drama. It was so silly, so manufactured, so OOC, mind-boggingly LAZY that I couldn’t believe it. And how are we supposed to agree with Arya that Sansa is a power-hungry bitch when she’s getting shit done, being a good ruler, and not going out of her way to step on Jon’s toes even though it’s her birthright and she’s better at it than he is and EVERYONE knows it? Arya just looked like a psychopath in that confrontation. And this is a total waste of Creepyfinger as well, who is just a joke at this pint. These characters don’t even have arcs anymore; this is telenovela bullshit just to manufacture drama.

Good god, what is GRRM thinking right now?

Also, just some notes, as even these will be better written than this garbage show:

—How is anyone supposed to root for Daenerys at this point? She’s a hypocrite who burns anyone who won’t bend the knee, so anyone who follows her is only following out of fear. Also makes St. Tyrion look like even more “the savior” when HE should be the morally grey one.

—The pacing for this episode was a MESS. There was just way too much to cram it that it left no impact and felt like nothing actually happened.

—I still don’t buy Jonerys and don’t see how they could possibly have boatsex in two episodes. And also are they REALLY trying to do a love triangle with Jorah the explorer? Because D&D would give him greyscale for no reason, cure him in a way that defies logic, and then friendzone him again for laughs because he basically has no character arc anymore.

—The Jaime-Tyrion reunion fell so flat and was just disappointing. Also, surprised Bronn didn’t really acknowledge Tyrion? He’s a Jaime stan now I guess.

—God bless Lena Headey for making the most out of the shit she’s been given even though this twincest has GOT TO FUCKING END. I just don’t understand what this pregnancy serves a purpose for, as D&D have given Jaime every opportunity to leave Cersei and he hasn’t. So he isn’t staying for this pregnancy, so what’s even the point?

—Oh Gendry bb, don’t come back to this shitshow. You insist? Well, as long as you drag everyone for being idiots I guess I’m OK with that. Actually did genuinely like his scene with Jon.

—Davos’s plan to smuggle Tyrion in was just like, what, park in KL in broad daylight and assume NO ONE will spot the dwarf with a scar? Mmkay. And good god I did NOT need 2 minutes worth of describing fermented crab.

—LMAo I love how Jon only acknowledged Arya and Bran being alive for 2 seconds and then moved on. And Sam didn’t even get to find out his brother was murdered by his best friend’s aunt who’s going to bone him.

—Speaking of, what purpose did Sam’s citadel arc play again??? And how fucking convenient that in between shits, Maester Maynard was like “OH btw Prince MOTHERFUCKING Rhaegar annulled his marriage because that’s totally a thing you can do when you have kids.”

—This fellowship of the wight would feel a lot more earned if we actually had more development and not such a rushed episode. And why is Tormund locking up the bwb???? God Sandor is me because we are both so done with this shit.

[palliddata]

Game Of Insert Pun Here

By Elizabeth “Esquilax” Lavenza

This isn’t just an article about Season 7. Game of Thrones has had plenty of enduring problems since its inception, and the roots that fully sprouted this year have been festering for quite some time. The series’ obsession with rape isn’t new, for example. And if you’re the type of person who’s mentally rolling out all the justifications for why the show needs to regularly show explicit rape scenes, please remind yourself that the show doesn’t feel the need to show us hideous period-accurate pseudomedieval teeth, so the “they need all the rape because gritty realism!” defense doesn’t hold up. And since I can’t find a good place to slot in the racism issue in the rest of this article, I’m bringing it up here, because it’s yet another gaping wound on the show. The fact that non-white people almost exclusively show up in Game of Thrones to be liberated by the hyperaryan Daenerys is...well, do I even have to go into it? Part of the problem is the show’s overburdened nature: juggling plotlines on two separate continents isn’t easy, and Essos typically ended up left in the lurch, its residents and societies and cultures left unfleshed as essentially Pokémon gyms for Daenerys to beat on her way back home. Since I’m trying to keep this article focused on season seven, I’m not even going to get into the abominable, interminable Dorne story arc, which has been torn apart in plenty of other pieces.

If I had to pick one point where the show jumped the shark, it would have to be when Jon Snow became Jesus. Snow has always been the closest thing to a traditional fantasy hero in the story: handsome, martially and tactically skilled, partially noble, dramatic, and intermittently flawed but overall morally decent. So, if the show was to earn its reputation as dark, subversive, and merciless, knocking him down from this position would have been an obvious place to start, a move that would have shocked the audience in the same manner as Ned Stark’s death. Kill him, take him out of action, reveal him as a hypocrite, there were many options. The writers magically brought him back to life instead, and in doing so they perfectly set the tone of the coming seasons: Jon was The Hero, and even death could not stop him from assuming his place as the heroic savior of a world that we were led to believe was no place for heroic saviors. Even revealing that he secretly isn’t a bastard, and is therefore even more noble-blooded than we assumed (“secret noble heir” being such a contrived and hackneyed fantasy trope that critics were already tearing into it decades ago) couldn’t match up to the betrayal of any sense of actual grittiness or ruthlessness or subversion that was The Resurrection Of Jon. And since then, the show hasn’t exactly kept to its promise of ruthlessness. Sam cured Jorah’s greyscale. Jamie charges towards an angry dragon and comes out more or less unscathed. Jon and his pals embark on a pointless, ill-conceived zombie wrangling mission, and the only casualty is one of three mostly interchangeable dragons (and that doesn’t even get into how badly the “capture a zombie to prove they’re real” subplot abuses time and space to allow characters to teleport around Westeros at speeds dictated solely by the needs of the sloppy writing).

Jon’s messianic turn feeds into the central problem with what Game of Thrones became. Now, the most cliched and simplistic sorts of fantasy tend to present morality and conflict in rather simple terms. A hero or group of heroes, usually of noble birth and gifted with great power by virtue of their noble birth or purity of heart, rise to oppose a generally un-nuanced and uniformly fiendish villain, cheating death and conquering improbable odds to persevere. This was exactly the kind of story Game of Thrones wanted us to think it wasn’t, what with all the gore and sex and corruption and intrigue and major characters dying. But where are we in this season? Jon, Daenerys, and Tyrion are together on Team Good Guy, Cersei has gathered the scum of Westeros on Team Bad Guy (and Jamie has finally left her side, depriving Team Bad Guy of one of its few sympathetic, nuance-providing members), while Scowls McCorpse and his frozen pals round out the conflict with Team Pointless Zombie Murder. Dear god, the zombies. Dany vs. Cersei is a fairly cut and dried “good army vs bad army” brawl, but they can at least add some depth with the tragic factor of the inevitable deaths of the innocent soldiers who just happened, through accident of birth or fortune, to end up on Cersei’s side. The same can’t exactly be said for the zombie conflict, since GoT’s zombies don’t deviate much from the usual fantasy template of mindless monsters the heroes can guiltlessly hack up. Even Sauron, Morgoth, and their orc armies had more motivation than the scowling White Walkers, and they were capable of exercising their power in much more subtle and memorable ways. I genuinely do not understand why “inexplicably evil zombie army” was chosen to be Westeros’ encroaching doom. Surely there were less banal cataclysmic threats than an evil zombie army. It isn’t even a creative zombie army, as indicated by the fact that its most interesting asset, a zombie dragon, is something that Dungeons and Dragons players have been hacking up for decades by now.

Those are some of the major overarching issues, but the show has so many more, all intertwined with each other like an incestuous mangrove of creative laziness. The show’s reluctance to kill off major characters combined with its sexism has given us yet more interminable character focus on Theon, an unlikable, uncompelling sorrow-blob who seems to exists solely to steal narrative attention from more interesting female characters, his toxic presence depriving the genuinely likable Yara of her own character arc just so he can dramatically redeem himself by proclaiming he’ll rescue her after she ends up being needlessly damseled. The union of bad writing and bad acting made Littlefinger’s presence in the seventh season agonizing. Aidan Gillen plays him as Slick McSleaze, World’s Shiftiest Man, to the degree that you have to wonder why literally anyone in Westeros trusts him any more. The show’s terrible writing and plotting sends him into probably his most ridiculous scheme yet, trying to turn the Stark sisters against each other...for no clear benefit that would make it worthwhile for him to antagonize two very powerful, dangerous people who already hate and distrust him. And Tormund, fucking Tormund, living embodiment of the show’s decision to jettison creative merit for GIF-worthy scenelets. Tormund, who shows up at least once an episode so the writers can remind us HEY HE REALLY WANTS TO FUCK BRIENNE, who has turned Brienne’s primary role in the story into “woman who Tormund wants to fuck”, and who magically escapes death by zombie army so he can continually remind us how much he wants to fuck Brienne. The season ends with his fate uncertain, but I do not trust the show’s writers to do the decent thing and kill him off offscreen. Game of Thrones isn’t really doing anything right, other than a few visually spectacular scenes. It’s given up on being in any way a mature and subversive approach to the fantasy genre, but it isn’t even particularly good at being cliched, because even if we accept it as a standard “good vs evil” plot, it remains riddled with bad writing, bad decisions, and myriad plot holes. If you told me a few years ago that the future would see people talking seriously about a big-budget show involving dragons, I would have been cautiously optimistic. I guess the ultimate moral of Game of Thrones is that fantasy fans have to be careful what they wish for.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HIIIIIIIIIIIIII MACKEREL. HIII. HI. HI. FINISHED EPISODE 31. holy shit. absolutely reeling. william wisp survival horror villain!!!!!!!!! william wisp survival horror villain!!!!!!!! hes just like taylor hebert forreal.... every single choice he made in this episode was the most logical & best for as many people as possible and yet taken all in all they're fucking horrifying. me when i'm doing the wrong things for the right reasons & i'm alienating everyone who loves me & the only way out is through and i can't stop now because then it would all be for nothing!!!!! head in hands. i fucking said he'd go off the rails as soon as dakota wasn't there!!! u need ur emotional support immovable object bestfriend!!

that being said. actually feeling some kind of way by vyncent "was chill with killing his own father" "grew up in hellmurder rpgland" "has committed manslaughter at best and murder at worst" sol going "yeah this is making me sick. i can't do this."... god. they're both alone now!!!! and i can't even articulate how much i hate that william's alone with his shitty manipulative older brother who dissects people now!!!! it's gonna be Bad!!!!

also i have. So many fucking feelings on the freedom city crew man. head in hands. freedom city wards............ anyway. god!!! shakng u back n forth by the shoulders!!!!! william wisp torment nexus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHA. AHAHAA YEAH. I SPECIFICALLY SAID THE FREEDOM CITY WARDS THING TO YOU BEFORE YOU STARTED THIS EP SO YOUD SAY THAT. BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING EVIL MASTERMIND CODED. i have been thinking a lot about freedom city wards. they don't. stay wards for very long. smile.

there have been SO MANY TIMES where you've said something to the effect of "wow I can't wait for william to get separated from dakota and become so morally grey" AND EVERY TIME IM JUST SITTING HERE LIKE.

william is alone with david now surely this will not have any dire consequences. yeah i feel rlly fucked up abt vyncent leaving too. god. bold words coming from the guy who grew up in hellmurder rpg land !!!!! but also completely understandable. this was a fucked up situation from the START and it becomes too much. I get it. vyncent was fucking scared and worried and one of their friends was just dissected and william might know David but *he* doesn't so he has no reason to trust that tide or anyone else is gonna be okay .... GOD. I have. so many feelings abt it.

ohhhh wiwi..... wiwi wake up you fucked up big time! but also you didn't really have a choice because your older brother is a manipulative bastard and you can't see through it because at the end of the day he's your big brother and you're supposed to trust him! he wouldn't hurt you right! ughhhghghghghh. greyscale arc is so fucked dude. it's so fucked! william wisp i love you so dearly you're in such an impossible situation and none of your choices are making things better but !!!!! it's the best you can do in the situation you're trying to help you're trying to protect your friends and AUGHGHGHH. UGH.

[bizlybebo]

Post Greyscale arc-

Xavier and Allen wake up confused, wondering why the Prime Defenders never responded, where Cantrip is, why they lost an entire day's worth of memory

What if they tried to break in again because they forgot what happened when they did before, because they forgot they had done it before.

What if the injections didn't work all the way, memories slowly seeping back into their mind and they remember the Prime Defenders betrayal. Williams betrayal.

What if the injections did work but they have a hatred of William in the back of their mind but they just can't figure out *Why* or why it grows when they worry about their missing teammate

What if Xavier has nightmares over the horrors William showed him, what he remembers but only thinks of it as a nightmare because William wouldn't do that. But he did

YEAH NO I KEEP TJINKING ABOUT THIS SOO FUCKING MUCHH LIKE. DAVID IS SO SHADY WITH EVERYTGIKG HE’S DONE AND CONSIDERING NOW WHAT WE’VE LEARNED FROM THE FINALE?? LIKE. HOLY SHITTT

and even if, somehow, david’s created something entirely capable of purging those memories so that they (xavier especially) forget, like. xavier’s still gonna be fucked up. he’s gonna wake up with a leg chopped nearly in half, with a still-healing alan (allen?) and no jade.

like surely there’s gonna be some kind of subconscious fear the next time xavier sees william because you can erase memories but i simply don’t think you can erase the effects of such severe trauma.

i almost wonder if he’d get flashes of jade’s distorted face, of the false image of her that william made out of smoke, and think that maybe he was there and something bad happened to her but he simply. can’t. remember.

maybe they’ll go back to bell tech and look for her phone. maybe it’s been destroyed too, though, considering how bell tech “took care of” things.

maybe xavier will see that they sent out distress calls to the prime defenders and they were received and viewed, but he can’t remember why exactly he sent them.

like literally there are SO many ways this shit can go and i’m fuckimg losing my mind about it. this is going to grow and fester and become a huge fucking problem in season 3, i just know it.

and gah. i miss xavier and cantrip so bad :( their friendship genuinely means so much to me. i think about them constantly

[loavesofoaves]

GOT: Episode 7 x 03 Review

You know, for a season that D & D have been hyping as “nonstop action,” I’m rather bored. Just because the pacing is fast does not mean anything of actual substance is happening. Episode 3 proves that.

The episode opens with Jon and Daenerys meeting for the first time; a meeting that has been hyped since the show began. And it was remarkably underwhelming. As to be expected, Deadpan Targaryen is only concerned with the throne, and Jon tries to tell her that they have bigger fish to fry and that winning the throne will be for nought if the White Walkers invade Westeros. They have a back and forth on what’s more important: Jon bending the knee or the fight to the North, which goes nowhere after 20 minutes. But hey, we got some memeworthy Daenerys reading off all her titles and Papa Davos saying “This is Jon Snow” so LOL. (BTW, is Davos even a character anymore? I feel like he exists solely to be a straw man and fatherly mansplainer.) Also, why is Jon’s resurrection a secret now? You’d think with this show logic even Hot Pie would know about that.

 The thing is, I really want to sympathize with these characters. If Emilia Clarke didn’t play Daenerys as so god damn deadpan, she almost would’ve had a nice speech about how she is not going to back down after all she’s been through. I’m shocked that they acknowledged that Drogo raped her when it turned into TRUE LUB on the show. And if there are bigger fish to fry, then why doesn’t Jon doesn’t bend the knee, especially considering Winterfell isn’t even his god damn birthright anyways?

 But dramatically satisfyingTM, amirite?

 There are also a few scenes at Dragonstone that reflect the sad truth that GOT has become a parody of itself. Jon stands brooding on a ledge and Tyrion gives him shade for it. Tyrion tries to outsass and mansplain things to Daenerys and she calls him out for making shit up and pretending it’s the most sage advice ever. I honestly can’t tell you what any of them talked about other than mining Dragonglass, that’s how boring those scenes were.

Remember when these characters actually had development, guys? What sweet summer children we were.

Speaking of ruined character development, we see Euron parading Yara and the Sand Fakes around a cheering King’s Landing. Because no one cares that Cersei blew hundreds of people up and it was totally an accident? MMkay. Euron brings Ellaria and Tyene as a gift to Cersei and then asks Jaime if she likes being butt-fingered, I shit you not.

Cersei locks up Ellaria and Tyene and basically kills Tyene the same way Myrcella was killed by kissing her with poisoned lips. Yet another example of characters somehow finding out exactly what happened offscreen because it is convenient. The scene is also an example of Lena Headey and Indira Varma blowing it out of the park despite lazy writing. These actors are too good for the material they were given to work with, and it shows. It’s hilarious how many roles D & D have “reconceived to suit their actor’s talents” that actually ended up being less dramatic and meaty than they would’ve been had they followed the source material. But it looks like we’re done with Dorne for good at least.

Next we see Cersei giving Jaime a blowjob because they are just in true love, guys. And then they end up doing the do and I believe Lena’s body double is back. I just don’t understand why D & D are trying to push the twincest on us, but god damn. How little regard they have for Jaime’s character arc is astounding.

 Cersei also has a conversation with Tycho Nestoris from the Iron Bank in which she demands money because Dany will free all of the Iron Bank’s slaves....even though Braavos doesn’t permit slavery?

Just counting down the days until Confederate is cancelled, good grief.

I will say it was surprising to see a scene that was attempting to establish some sort of logistics even though it failed miserably.

Back in Winterhell, Sansa is a boss ass bitch and tells everyone what to do as if they are not experienced lords. This totally would’ve been earned if D & D had actually followed Sansa’s political plotline from the books, but I guess rape powers make you a leader. Littlefinger, who is officially the most pointless character on the show at this point, takes Sansa aside to give her a nonsensical speech thats only purpose was to fill the season 7 trailer. He is interrupted, however, by the return of Bran. But unlike the genuinely heartwarming reunion that was with Jon and Sansa, Bran is now a robot because the three-eyed raven must have no emotion for some reason. Sansa, of course, has no idea what Bran is talking about, so Bran decides the best way to demonstrate his powers is to remind Sansa of being raped and tell her how beautiful she was when it happened.

I screamed “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK” at my TV.

D & D are seriously messed up. They aren’t just incompetent, they are fucked up.

There are just so many things wrong with this. One, we did not see Bran’s transformation into this robot, so we can’t just accept this drastic change without reason. As of last season, Bran still seemed human. Of course, the deaths of Hodor and Summer were tragic, but Bran doesn’t even bring them up as a reason for his detachment. So this sudden character change just comes out of nowhere. And even so, the fact that D & D gleefully like to trigger Sansa and the audience like this by bringing up rape for no reason just shows how juvenile they are.

And Bran. Well, they’ve never been invested in his character development since Season 2, so at this point it’s easy to just call him a plot device and not try to explain anything.

Well, RIP book Bran. Book Jaime’s holding a seat for you.

Oh, and there’s also a scene showing that Jorah is OK and basically all you needed to do to cure Greyscale was peel it off, because of course it would be that easy. Jorah decides to go stalk KHALEESI, Sam experiences the very real task of being an unpaid intern who doesn’t get credit for anything, and that plotline went nowhere and served no purpose! But someone needed to get greyscale because….?

Oh, and there’s a pointless Theon scene just to show he survived.

I am literally trying to remember what else happened this episode, but it was so boring that my mind is blanking….oh yeah! There were some fights somewhere. Grey Worm and the unsullied storm Casterly Rock, and Tyrion narrates how they’ll go in through his hoe-door because he is oh-so-clever, but oops! They get bamboozled by Euron Greyjoy. It turns out most of the Lannister forces were actually marching on Highgarden and take it offscreen because gay people obviously don’t know how to fight.

I have to laugh at Benioff’s ignorant-ass comments in the “Behind the Episode” sequence. Like, bitch, do you remember who won the battle of Blackwater? So much blatant homophobia in assuming a house that has an openly gay character has a shit army when the whole point of season 2 was showing that the Lannisters needed their army? HOW did GRRM decide these guys were the best choice to adapt the show again?

Anyways, Jaime confronts a defeated Olenna. Olenna, who is just too damn good for this show, agrees to drink poison as her execution, and then reveals to Jaime she was behind Joffrey’s death. She has the same thing on her mind as the audience: Why the fuck is Jaime still with Cersei? A woman who’s committed the atrocities the Mad King threatened to do? Jaime retorts with some bullshit and leaves Olenna to die, but she’s the real winner here, escaping this shitty writing and absolute bullshit. Oh, and she calls Joffrey a cunt because swearing is cool (I know, I am guilty of being a potty mouth, but that’s not out of character for me).

Oh! And I just remembered that Varys and Melisandre have a conversation. It wasn’t a bad conversation, and it wasn’t even out of character, but I was so outraged by all of the things happened this episode that acceptable scenes fell through the cracks.

I am just stunned that even shownlies could watch this crap and think it’s anything more than shock value entertainment. The writing just keeps on getting lazier and lazier, and it didn’t even pay off with anything of real excitement or value. Even the fanservice is lackluster. I am actually dreading Season 8 at this point. It is so obvious D & D just want to be done and they don’t care about logic as long as they can get from point A to point B.

If anything, the show has made me appreciate the books more, so I guess that’s one positive that’s come from this.