#great grief lyrics

[demolitonlover]

Casey // Great Grief

[cr0ssfortune]

if you shake my hand better count your fingers

[olovelymoon-slow-answers]

We Are Seven

In this poem by William Wordsworth, written in 1793 and published years later in the Lyrical Ballads (1798), the poet dialogues with a little girl who insists that, though two of her siblings are now dead, thay should be counted as part of the family. It is a delicate poem about loss and the strenght of love, which trascends even death. Before you read the poem, I ask you to think about all the people in the world who might feel like this little girl. The ongoing wars and genocides keep causing countless losses of innocents. Here on tumbrl you'll be able to find vetted fundraisers to help some of these people from Palestine, Congo and Sudan: check out the accounts of @/nabulsi, @/stil-lindigo, @/el-shab-hussein and @/90-ghost, as well as the website https://gazafunds.com/

And now, enjoy your read:

《A simple Child,

That lightly draws its breath,

And feels its life in every limb,

What should it know of death?

I met a little cottage Girl:

She was eight years old, she said;

Her hair was thick with many a curl

That clustered round her head.

She had a rustic, woodland air,

And she was wildly clad:

Her eyes were fair, and very fair;

—Her beauty made me glad.

“Sisters and brothers, little Maid,

How many may you be?”

“How many? Seven in all,” she said,

And wondering looked at me.

“And where are they? I pray you tell.”

She answered, “Seven are we;

And two of us at Conway dwell,

And two are gone to sea.

“Two of us in the church-yard lie,My sister and my brother;

And, in the church-yard cottage,

I Dwell near them with my mother.”

“You say that two at Conway dwell,

And two are gone to sea,

Yet ye are seven! I pray you tell,

Sweet Maid, how this may be.”

Then did the little Maid reply,

“Seven boys and girls are we;

Two of us in the church-yard lie,

Beneath the church-yard tree.”

“You run about, my little Maid,

Your limbs they are alive;

If two are in the church-yard laid,

Then ye are only five.”

“Their graves are green, they may be seen,”

The little Maid replied,

“Twelve steps or more from my mother’s door,

And they are side by side.

“My stockings there I often knit,

My kerchief there I hem;

And there upon the ground I sit,

And sing a song to them.

“And often after sun-set, Sir,

When it is light and fair,

I take my little porringer,

And eat my supper there.

“The first that died was sister Jane;

In bed she moaning lay,

Till God released her of her pain;

And then she went away.

“So in the church-yard she was laid;

And, when the grass was dry,

Together round her grave we played,

My brother John and I.

“And when the ground was white with snow,

And I could run and slide,

My brother John was forced to go,

And he lies by her side.”

“How many are you, then,” said I,

“If they two are in heaven?”

Quick was the little Maid’s reply,

“O Master! we are seven.”

“But they are dead; those two are dead!

Their spirits are in heaven!”

’Twas throwing words away; for still

The little Maid would have her will,

And said, “Nay, we are seven!”》

[as-you-think]

[sunglass-horizons]

may flora bloom from every wound that i have volunteered to display.

[i-hope-you-are-miserable]

we reprise our role as strangers

we'd rehearse small resentments when in isolation

then choke on the words when reciting our lines

never perceptive to our situation

the same melancholia every night

[munchmemes]

hozier lyrics, unheard edition

❛ it can't be said i'm an early bird. it's ten o'clock before i say a word. ❜ ❛ how do you sleep so well? ❜ ❛ you keep telling me to live right. to go to bed before the daylight but then you wake up for the sunrise. ❜ ❛ you know you don't gotta pretend. ❜ ❛ don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake, smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? ❜ ❛ if you're drunk on life, babe, i think that's great. ❜ ❛ while in this world, i think i'll take my whiskey neat, my coffee black and my bed at three. ❜ ❛ you're too sweet for me. ❜ ❛ i aim low, i aim true and the ground's where i go. ❜ ❛ i work late where i'm free from the phone and the job gets done. ❜ ❛ but who wants to live forever, babe? ❜ ❛ you treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate. the rest of you like you're the TSA. ❜ ❛ don't get me wrong, you know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape. ❜ ❛ everything in my vision is movement and life. ❜ ❛ springtime in the country, i can smell summer on its breath. ❜ ❛ everything in my vision, departure and death. ❜ ❛ this year, i swear it will be buried in actions. ❜ ❛ this year, i swear it will be buried in words. ❜ ❛ i feel as useful as dirt. ❜ ❛ put my body to work. ❜ ❛ the sun hesitates more on each evening's darkening with all things god allows remain above ground. like grief and sweet memory. ❜ ❛ sun coming up on a world that's easy now. ❜ ❛ after all, darling, i wouldn't sell the world the way things are turning. ❜ ❛ if it falls, i would hold on for all it's worth. ❜ ❛ the future's so bright it's burning. ❜ ❛ the martyrs of our revolution, their spinning caused the earth to shake. ❜ ❛ the problem brought its own solution. ❜ ❛ i wouldn't fare well. hedgehog-under-a-van-wheel kind of wouldn't fare well. ❜ ❛ i'll take any high. ❜ ❛ i'll take any solitary pleasure that was sorrow in disguise. ❜ ❛ let the sun shine on me through a falling sky, i'll be alright. ❜ ❛ i'll deny me none while i'm allowed. ❜

[mangokabuto]

Some dance + real-world-equivalent-ethnicity headcannons :)

Some more little bits i be thinking abt for those who want more dance content: (under the cut)

Usopp with his salsa fundamentals and luffy with his vague memories of samba end up, at some point, coming up with their own much more chaotic combo of the two. They r spinning around so fast its insane. Luffy is about to launch them into the sun. They're having a great time.

Sanji being absolutely miffed when the only other ppl on the crew who know how to couple's dance with him are Usopp and Luffy. He gets over it ofc, being able to actually dance with another person quickly overwhelms the "I wanted to tango with a beautiful lady" grief

Sanji being able to help Usopp re-learn salsa and them bonding over their moms abt it 🥲Luffy is a lost cause tho he's not learning shit /j

BaroqueWorks Robin and Bon Clay bonding over ballet Q_Q

Brook inventing the most INSANE new dips/twirls/transitions because he no longer has muscles or skin or whatever in the way

Also I firmly believe Usopp listens & dances to anything made by Spice, Mr. Killa, and Yung Bredda, but he refuses to let the crew know this. He's not embarrassed or anything he's just fairly sure Sanji would have a heart attack and die if he heard the lyrics

Sanji listens & dances to Rodrigo y Gabriela he's in love with their story

Zoro is one of those freaks who has no desire to listen to music at all but he won't turn it off if it's on, yk?

As made obvious above I think Usopp and Sanji are the 1st and 2nd most versatile dancers, but neither of them dance more Often than Franky

If i had to rank them based on how often/readily they will dance its....in the order I placed the pictures, with chopper between brook and nami. Luffy is only so low cause he'd usually rather be eating, and brook cause he'd rather be playing, and zoro cause he'd rather be drinking/napping

Robin will readily dance with you if you ask her but she's not going to initiate

If you love dance like i do and want to see some specific choreographers/dances i had in mind while drawing these, that will be the rest of this bullet list!

Sanji is doing Derek Hough's little solo bit from his pasodoble choreo on dancing with the stars. look it up it is so peak

Dancing with the star (chopper <3)

In my head Usopp is perfectly capable of dancing any choreography by Latrice Kabamba (west african steps), Tricia Miranda (dancehall), or Yeifren Mata (mostly male solo salsa)

For Franky I think some old way choreos by Nastya Batrachenko or Dashaun Wesley (he mostly does fem now but he has good old way stuff) r good

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

both of you

this song is incredibly special.

it’s almost like it’s over isn’t it is the questions. as i said in my post about it’s over isn’t it, johnston said that pearl feels lost and out of place by the end of the song. both of you has the answers!

steven

i love that steven is the one who sings it. it helps greg & pearl connect, because they’re raising steven. steven reassures them that he feels loved. more loved than greg felt as a kid, along with rose and pearl, who never even got to be kids. pearl also saw how pink was treated in her early years.

rose would be proud of both of them.

rose symbolism

of course, steven is singing the song, but they can still sense rose’s love and lingering presence.

pearl tends to notice the personality and speaking pattern similarities between steven and his mother. in rose’s scabbard, she said, “sometimes, you even sound like her.” so, steven singing the song helps with certain epiphanies and needed closure.

he also has her gem, and when he sings the first, “you both love me and i love both of you,” a tear falls from his eye. to me, it represents rose’s healing tears. interesting, because:

“steven, your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. she felt real love for those around her. she felt real sorrow when they were hurt.” — garnet, an indirect kiss.

it definitely symbolizes what rose would say to them if she was alive.

after that line, greg & pearl tear up, too. pearl tears up exactly like she does in the scene where she says steven sometimes sounds like rose (after: well, i think you’re pretty great).

she’s also symbolized by the rose petals in the air and the light around steven being pink. which brings me to my next point.

colour symbolism

the light around steven is pink, symbolizing his mother. rose’s colour was pink, and she also happens to be pink diamond—something that is only known by pearl at the time.

the light on greg is yellow and the light on pearl is blue... which symbolizes a lot of different things.

foreshadowing, for one thing. somewhere on homeworld, blue and yellow are at odds as they’re dealing with the loss of pink. pink, who became rose. this scene gives us a hint about rose’s secret, because eventually we meet blue & yellow and we hear what’s the use of feeling blue. obviously these are two completely different situations involving two completely different people, but it’s a pink diamond hint.

their colours also represent things about greg & pearl in particular.

yellow symbolizes optimism and light, the way greg tries to keep life light for the people he cares about. this is both good and flawed. while he likes living in the moment, he never wanted to have deep conversations & talk about the past. sometimes it can be a form of avoidance, especially when things are unhealed, important, or impacting the present and future.

as i said in my last analysis, greg and pearl are two different extremes & opposites.

blue symbolizes order, loyalty, honesty… but blue also symbolizes sadness. she keeps secrets, always tries to take care of everyone, and it makes her forget about herself. blue also symbolizes timidity, just as the confusing situation, personal insecurity (i.e., always focused on what she can do for her/how she can help her, yet rose could find comfort in simply who pearl is), and pain has made her believe that rose didn’t love her as much as she loved her.

as they bond, he finally provides a sense of warmth that helps with the coldness she feels, and she allows him to really feel everything that he often tries to avoid.

“why don’t you talk to each other, just give it a try. why don’t you talk about what happened, i know you’re trying to avoid it but i don’t know why.” — steven, both of you

it’s funny, the way that these lyrics point out some of their major flaws and how it’s worsened their grief. greg avoids talking about emotional topics, and pearl hasn’t tried to talk to greg about rose and the reasons behind her death, because she has distanced herself from him. which is a very realistic and understandable thing to do, especially in early grief. however, talking to each other makes her realize what really happened. lastly, i don’t know why is related to rose. she didn’t know that they were at odds, she didn’t know how the norms of human relationships worked. despite we need to talk, there were still many things that were left unsaid between… everyone. she was often stuck in her own mind, which was not the best place to be, so she was quite oblivious to the things that were going on around her. heck, she was stuck wondering why two great people cared for her.

the conversation

greg: look, if i were you, i’d hate me, too.

pearl: i don’t hate you.

greg: but i knew how you felt about rose and i stayed anyway.

pearl: that wasn’t the problem.

greg: then, what was?

pearl: she fell in love with you.

pearl’s “blue” allows greg to finally look back at painful memories from the past. as he speaks, his voice sounds similar to how he sounded when he was just 22. he acknowledges the fact that he should have asked more questions about pearl’s love with rose, along with understanding the differences between gem and human relationships. he knows he avoids heavy topics and gem topics, but he recognizes that despite his efforts in we need to talk, he regrets not attempting more communication between all of them. he’s able to have regrets instead of focusing solely on the positives and the present.

doing so helps pearl get some closure. she also has her own epiphany which helps her want to be greg’s friend: he was the first human who cared for rose enough to actually build a meaningful connection with her. she realizes why she said, “i was fine, with the men…” earlier. greg was different. but in a good way, really.

of course she worried about greg being rose’s favourite: not only does she struggle to understand human relationships, but his bond with rose was the first bond she had with a human that wasn’t meaningless like her past bonds. pearl felt confused and everyone was avoiding conversations for different reasons.

and yet, in the background, steven sings, you both love me and i love both of you.

she always did what she wanted!

this line represents the positive and the negative reasons behind rose’s decision to give up her physical form.

while greg and pearl are around each other and they’re allowed to see the situation in a new light, keep in mind that they never switch colours. pearl’s light remains blue and greg’s light remains yellow.

pearl always wondered: “why did she choose to create life with him and die, over living with me forever? she not love me enough?” she questioned this earlier, during it’s over isn’t it, but as i said earlier, both of you gives her the answers.

you both love me, and i love both of you. she seems to get this epiphany that rose loved everyone who loved her. she loved them as much as they loved her. she loved them the exact same way they loved her. no more, no less.

there is no single reason behind behind rose’s death, but the reasons are unrelated to rose choosing someone. the reasons are related to her and steven.

—> pearl’s symbolism

“that wasn’t the problem… then, what was?”

as pearl realizes that rose did fall in love with her, too, she realizes that falling in love with anyone wasn’t really the problem.

the problem was, she’d fall in love… and she’d love whoever she loved far more than she could ever love herself.

as the show continues to progress, pearl is realizing just how much rose was in love with her, but she’s also simultaneously realizing just how much rose didn’t love herself.

she will no longer look back at the memories and say, “i wish she loved me as much as i loved her,” she’ll say, “i wish she loved herself as much as i loved her.”

pearl represents the rose-related reasons behind this decision: how she thought everyone was better than her & would be better off without her.

“people would be drawn to her, gems would be drawn to her, and i don’t know if they would necessarily realize that she was worshipping them, which was compounding her own sadness.” — rebecca sugar

pearl says, “she always did what she wanted!” close to tears. it symbolizes the pain behind rose’s decision.

—> greg’s symbolism

as steven’s father, greg and steven share similarities. they look alike, and he also has this memory:

“but you, you're supposed to change. you’re never the same, even moment to moment, you're allowed and expected to invent who you are. what an incredible power… the ability to grow up.” — greg the babysitter

greg represents the steven-related reasons behind rose’s death: her love for humanity, growth, creating life on her own, creating someone who she knew would be a gift to those she loved, and her love for steven.

rose’s death was a tragedy, and nothing can change that. there were heartbreaking reasons behind her death.

at the same time, this doesn’t mean she loved steven any less! she loved him so much, and she was so excited for him to exist.

in a way, this song gives answers to everyone, honest answers.

all three of them are loved by rose in different ways, genuinely and deeply. the only person she didn’t love enough was herself.

greg says, “she always did what she wanted!” with a laugh at the end. it symbolizes the warmth and love behind rose’s decision, and the wonderful person that they have in their lives. steven is a gift from rose.

final thoughts

steven, pearl, and greg all grow together in this song. it’s special, because this was something rose loved the most: growth. it will always be tragic, because she loved them all and she loved growth, but she never believed she could grow and she couldn’t love herself.

still, this song gives them a sense of closure and reassurance. they learn from each other and see the situation for how it truly is. they experience rose’s presence and they are able to bond once they realize they have a lot in common: they’re grieving, they’re raising a kid they both love. they’re able to do this with the realization that there really was no love triangle here, no choosing someone over the other. no one said, “yeah, i’ll just accept that she loved you more,” or “well, i mean, she loved you like a friend!” because that’s not the case.

i love this song so much, and it’s so underrated yet so deep and complicated.

[decolonize-the-everything]

Hi, would you be willing to boost info about Healing Our Homeland? It’s a Palestinian woman-run aid organization with a team on the ground in Gaza. I know the founder—she’s incredibly trustworthy and has dedicated her whole life to helping her people. They’ve also helped queer pro-Pal organizers in central FL by contributing to their bail fund. It’s a great org to donate to. Their IG is @/ healing.our.homeland

"It took just one day of war for Palestinian-American attorney Reem Elkhaldi, of Oviedo, to learn that her friend, a newlywed whom she watched get married last summer, was among those slain in Israel's retaliatory attack in Gaza. But she couldn't mourn. She was already working with the refugees employed by her Gaza-based nonprofit to get food and supplies into the region.

"You don't even get to process the grief before something else happens," Elkhaldi said, describing how she has felt watching the Palestinian death toll spike to more than 20,000 in just three months. "You don't have an option. You have to continue."

source

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And if you're in Los Angeles or will be in LA in September there's also this queer fundraiser event coming for Healing Our Homeland.

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[genderkoolaid]

I'd like more music recs, please. I'm checking out the few you listed and 👌🏾

Mandatory mention of the classic "Daughterson" by Joe Stevens

"Am I Here" by Jay Page was one of the core songs of a really weird summer experience (ironically in which I dissociated a lot lol) I had so I remember it fondly. He also made Invincible which is written in honor of his younger self.

"Aventura" by Mavi Phoenix FUCKS. His music videos are also really well made. I also like "World's End" from his most recent album.

saint hills has made quite a bit of rap! "Home", "Lavender", "Michelangelo," and "Quit My Job" are some hits for me

"Chartreuse" by Boy Jr. is funky as hell, and you may have seen some of their joke songs on TikTok or Instagram

John-Allison Weiss!! he made I Was an Island which I was obsessed with when I was younger & then I found out he's a trans guy!! His song "Different Now" is fucking amazing. Strong transgender energy without any lyrics explicitly referencing it.

TOBRE is really good for anyone interested sexually explicit trannyfag hyperpop.

"Hindsight Cinema" by Zann Foth is very chill & he has a unique voice that makes it just very nice to listen to. Kind of elevator music energy? Also "I Hate Reaching Out" and "Surprise"

"Sweet Cis Teen" by Dazey and the Scouts. Just a banger. To be trans is to be your own pallbearer!

"Brothers" by Skylar Kergil always makes me feel warm, its very "tboys supporting tboys" <3

"Good Man" and "Brother" by Grayson are two I found very recently! His music is very crisp.

Artists I mentioned in that other post but I'm gonna mention here too:

Anjimile is just such a wonderful artist!!! The King is a beautiful album with great visuals & "Animal" is an extremely powerful song. "Sonja Smokes Me Out" & "Baby No More" are also great. I need everyone to give this man his flowers yesterday

"Shook (Transformed)" by Cuee is a really catchy & really sweet love song, and "Proud Boi" is an explicit trans(masc) pride song!

Everything Beverly Glenn-Copeland makes is wonderful. Its great seeing an older trans man, one who transitioned after building a name for himself, and also hearing his voice in his newest album in comparison to his earlier ones. His songs just make you feel like your soul is being wrapped in a blanket. "The Colour of Anyhow", "La Vita", "People of the Loon"

Dreamer Isioma has their fucking aesthetic (dreamy afrofuturism) DOWN. His music videos (esp. for the Princess Forever album) are all super well done and feel very unique to them.

Malaika Mfalme's album "Yasmin" is dedicated to their late partner and you can feel that love and grief throughout the songs. I recommend checking out this article where they go through the meanings behind each song. "Good Man" is specifically about learning to love masculinity as a positive force.

[demolitonlover]

Casey // Great Grief

[chaptersleftunwritten]

Cue the beat drop

Blurb: After Eddie goes missing, assumed dead, you replace him as lead guitarist and singer of Corroded Coffin.

Pairing: Vampire!Eddie Munson x Stranger!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of grief and death, mentions of trauma, mean-ish!Eddie, blood(?), possibly an inaccurate attempt at description of Kas from D&D. Fictional Corroded Coffin songs.

-

Trauma permanently alters the brain, and whether or not we are willing to admit it, it changes our lives and who we are. We never really get over it, at best we can make peace with it- grieve with it and try to put it to rest. But a large life disruption leaves a new normal behind and there is no returning to who we were before. Before this.

It had taken Gareth and Jeff two and a half years to muster up enough courage to paper up flyers all over town- every window, sign post and street lamp had one stuck and stapled to it. They were looking for their new lead guitarist and vocalist for Corroded Coffin- a legacy that Eddie Munson had left behind.

Being new to Hawkin’s came with a profound sense of oblivion. You were unaware of the history and all you knew were the rumours of what had happened a few years prior to your arrival in the cursed town. Words twisted and whispered from ear to ear. Elderly ladies clutching their Holy jewellery as they walk through the streets, mumbling prayers beneath their breaths. It was unsettling, to say the least. Oddly, though, there was something about Hawkin’s that called to you. A dark beckoning leading you from one place to here. Where you’ll remain.

-

‘Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.’ Friedrich W. Nietzsche

When you first read that quote, you never understood it. Not then. Not until you actually saw him. The abyss… staring back at you.

Corroded Coffin had soared in popularity. One of their singles, It Only Takes Six Feet, ended up on the Hot Top 100 billboard in the whole of America, sitting at #86 on the list. It was a song dedicated to Eddie, written by all of the members of the band. Of course you did most of the edits and redrafts but it was made by you all. For him. For the man who started it all.

After the stats came in, and the fans followed like metal headed soldiers, the rest was history. Corroded Coffin had its own army of ‘devil worshippers’ and their songs were playing across America on radios, stereos and TV’s alike.

It led you to here. Centre stage with blinding lights blurring your vision. Your lilac guitar slung over your shoulders securely, your hands supporting the weight. The audience is a single organism of moving, reeling silhouettes, who are screaming lyrics wildly back at you. The feeling is intoxicating. The way your voice echoes on the speakers, or how your body glistens and glitters with sweat and even the confidence radiating from your choice in outfit. Tonight felt electric. Everyone was paying attention to you…

You narrowed it down to it just being a really great gig, but things hadn’t been this good since you left Hawkin’s for a small out of state tour. Being back in the bands origin town created an atmosphere that was.. unearthly. Something darker and deeper than you could never comprehend.

Eddie really just couldn’t believe it. Hearing his own lyrics leave your precious little mouth. It seemed wrong- it was wrong.

He watched you with intent from the back of the concert hall, blending in with the shadows cast upon him as he hugged the walls.

No one paid him any mind, he was purposely invisible- seeking out your attention and yours alone. His eyes glow, flickering like a faulty light bulb between a thrilling onyx and a fierce maroon. He wanted you to clock him. To seek him out in the crowd. You and Eddie had never had the pleasure of meeting and Eddie planned to change that. After all, you deserved to know who you were singing about, right?

The fans adored you, and because of your reputation, your angelic voice and your looks- you invited in a wider spread of demographic. You expanded the band without changing a thing and it made you feel accomplished. You were proud of what you contributed and so was Gareth and Jeff.

It made Eddie giggle demonically to himself so see a photograph of him taped to Gareth's drum set. It was a decent picture to say the least, however he couldn't help but wonder why they were paying him so much tribute. Was it some sick and twisted way to promote the band and get more media coverage? Or were they really just as pathetic as he thought and still missed him.

Eddie preferred the 'sick and twisted.'

The hall falls eerily dormant to you as there is a brief pause between songs. The audience remain enthralled but their screams are drowned out but a high pitched ring in your ear. At first, you thought it was mic interference. You never understood it. Not until you actually saw him. The abyss... staring back at you.

Staring into you.

Despite being beneath the sweltering stage lights, your skin coats in an unavoidable freezing spread of goosebumps. Your breathing staggers outwith your control and your head blazes with fog. You can hear Gareth trying to speak to you from behind but you're bolted to the spot, your eyelids fluttering in sync with your heart which you are now suddenly over aware of thundering inside of your chest.

You move a hand to where it beats beneath the skin, clutching at the fabric of your sheer pink blouse as you fight the urge to collapse- but unfortunately for you, your efforts go to waste. Eddie made sure of that.

-

You come to a small flashlight being shone in your eyes and a worried paramedic frowning at you.

“She’s awake!” Gareth yells over to Jeff and both of them appear in your line of vision, they are a bit distorted figure wise but you recognise them nonetheless.

“You’re backstage. You’re in your dressing room, can you tell me which town you are in?” The paramedics voice feels like it is a thumping base inside of your head and you wince inwardly to yourself. Gulping thickly before you reply.

“Hawkins.” You bark rather harshly, your throat dry, “Water? Please?” Gareth nods and both him and Jeff leave the room to go grab you a refreshment. Trust those two to make a one person job into a two person job.

“You’ll be alright, it was probably dehydration.” With a click of a button the flashlight turns off and it is placed back in the medics equipment bag, “I’d recommend taking it easy for the rest of the night- but I know you young ones don’t really listen to anyone these days… so take some pain medication and drink some bloody water, please.” With a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders he exits the room, heaving a sigh and leaving you to recollect your fractured thoughts.

What the Hell happened?

“You collapsed. Is what happened, love.” His voice comes from behind you, a hissing in your ear like a serpents tongue. Which seems impossible because you are situated on a sofa which is pressed against a wall. Logically, no one should be able to get behind you.

Whipping your head over your shoulders frantically, your eyes shot wide with terror as you search the room, only for your gaze to land on him cackling in front of you evilly. The tiredness has been shaken from your bones and the adrenaline flooding your bloodstream is enough for you to jump and go straight through the ceiling.

You know him. You know this man.

“Boo?” He remarks with a sinister grin.

You always thought, when put in these situations, that your trigger response would be fight or flight.. but you are frozen as cold as ice, to the spot.

“This is the part where you try to run away but I ultimately catch you.” His voice is strained, like he is longing for a drink of water, “Cat and mouse, my favourite game.” His large hand finds his chest in a sentimental gesture, “Usually it would warm my heart- but I don’t have one anymore.”

Not anymore? Confusion wraps a noose around your mind. What is he talking about? And why does he look so familiar and yet so alien?

Noticing your rigid unmoving frame Eddie frowns mockingly, “Awh,” He starts with a coo, “You’re no fun.” His bottom lip pokes out before he is biting back a smile. Flashing what you can almost pinpoint as fangs…

“I recognise you…” Your weak voice sounds pathetic as it leaves your throat in the form of a gulp- starting strong and then fizzling out into a whisper. Eddie cocks a brow, his hawk like eyes narrowing in on you.

“I’d like to hope so, sweetheart, considering you were just singing my lyrics.” He leans against your vanity mirror, crossing his strong arms against his chest, not having a single care for any of the products he has just swiped off of the desk.

“Eddie?” Your eyebrows knit together tightly on your face, eyes pinching as you shake your head, “I must be hallucinating. This isn’t real.” You let out a breathy laugh, bringing your palm to your face where you run it down your skin semi-aggressively.

“I must’ve hit my head hard!” You continue to laugh, your mind reeling. Eddie stares at you- a mix of amusement and impatience dominating his features.

“That’s adorable.” He pushes himself from the vanity mirror and within seconds he is in front of you, pinning you down onto the worn leather of the decades old sofa, “I don’t know if I should find you cute or annoying.” His fingers grip your face with a punishingly tight force and you squirm beneath him, fear replacing every one of your comedic thoughts.

“Please,” you squeak out, hoping there is some humanity left inside of him. But you would be wrong to assume, “Eddie, please…”

Your feeble attempts make him snicker beneath his breath, his grip only worsening on your cheeks, “This isn’t a dream, baby. I’m real, I’m here- I may not be alive… but I bet this pain feels pretty human to you, doesn’t it?” He quirks his head slightly, like a psychotic interested dog and you wince, your fingers clawing desperately at his wrist to try and get him to ease up, “It’s a shame that you might have bruises left on this pretty face of yours. I can see why Gareth chose you.” His chest rises and falls with more distorted laughter, “Poor lad, he so clearly wants to fuck you… but you don’t want him, do you?”

The dark sounds of his strangled cackle fills the room, you can hardly breathe with his weight on top of you. He is too strong, so unwavering. It makes you question..

What is he?

“You’ve replaced me.” He clicks his tongue, evidentially displeased, “You replaced me- and you hadn’t even met me.” He brings his face dangerously close to yours, your breathing is erratic and uncontrollable and only now are you able to really hone in on his appearance.

His eyes are blown to an impure murky shade of black and his lips are crusted ever so slightly with a tinged shade of red. Spider web like veins have crept themselves up his neck and arms- the hue of them being a deep purple… almost like the veins are dead- void of any blood at all.

“That’s it, baby, take it all in.” His pointed tongue sticks out, the muscle meets your face as he licks a long strip from your cheek to the corner of your eyes. You hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down your face, but Eddie was relishing in the saltiness of the liquid, “Tastes good, but not really what I’m gunning for.”

His obsidian eyes settle on your neck and you can feel your pulse quickening. Your legs have entered the equation as you start to thrash more violently against him, coming up short.

“Eddie stop! Please! Please!” You’re wailing now, screaming for your life and it irks Eddie beyond description. Violently he lets go of your face, only to clamp his hand steadily across your mouth.

“Those aren’t the type of begs I want to hear, gorgeous.” Your fists pound against his hollow chest and he brushes your attempts at self defence off like it is nothing. He even fake yawns at your bratty behaviour.

“You sounded so pretty up there on stage, I just had to meet you. That’s why you had that little dizzy spell.. that was me, you following along?” He sniffs at your hair, his nose tickling down to the shell of your ear, “Call me obsessed- but I might be your biggest fan.”

Heaven opens the floodgates to your eyes and you are a quivering, sobbing mess beneath Eddie. Your limbs are much too tired to fight against him and you can see your demise approaching.

“I’m not going to kill you,” He answers your thoughts, almost like he can hear you think, “I’m just so fucking hungry.” Craning your neck off to one side Eddie nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, his nose poking and prodding at your skin- right above your main artery, “I also want my position back as lead guitarist.” His voice is much gentler now, a breathy whisper against your flesh, “I’m sure we can find room for you somewhere though, hmm?” You can tell that his words have a demented double meaning and you muster up enough energy to try and push him off again.

Your limbs feel like jello, weak and boneless. Eddie feels as though he is made of steel. Weighty with effortless leverage against you. Your eyelids feel fluttery as you look at the dressing room door- hoping Gareth and Jeff are just outside.

You can see shadowy figures dancing beneath the crack in the door and you mumble out a cry from beneath Eddie’s palm, “They won’t be able to help you.” His words are punctured by his teeth piercing your skin- harshly but with surgeon like precision.

Fire scorches your blood at the contact and your eyes shoot open with furious panic. You can’t scream against his hand, but you try. Choking out sobs and knocking at Eddie’s body. He doesn’t give, if anything he sucks at your neck harder, growling lowly into your ear. All you know is pain, it’s all you know- no more fear, no more terror. Just pain. Agonising. Paralysing… and then..

Nothing. You go numb. Your body falls limp against the cushions, the hard wooden beam running through the sofa presses against your spine in an almost relieving way and you let out a large sigh through flared nostrils.

Eddie finishes with you, unhooking his talon like teeth from your veins and studying your expression closely, “You might feel a bit lightheaded, but you’ll be okay.” His fingers stroke against your cheek which is aching from his previous grasp, “You look so pretty… so exhausted.” With a clasped hand he strokes your hair back and away from your face, only to grasp it roughly and pull you up from the leather material which now has a very prominent outline of your body wedged into. You yelp out, your hands flying to the back of your head where you grab his wrist.

“Now go and open that door, and tell them we were having a quickie… maybe I’ll reward you later if you’re good.” With a knowing wink he pushes you away from him brutishly, slapping your ass and laughing as he watches you move on wobbly legs toward the dressing room door. You don’t understand why, but you listen to him. His voice is like music to your ears- and you’d do anything to hear him speak to you again.

And being the good, obedient, brainwashed girl that you are- you open the door to Jeff and Gareth, looking like your world just got rocked.

-

taglist: @colorful-white-ideas @littlered0000 @ali-r3n @daisy-munson @serenadingtigers

[whenanafallsinlove]

i quite literally screamed when i saw ur 150 post. i’d say i wanna be the james to ur betty but betty is too good for the world, let alone any guy 😞

ANYWAY, congrats on 150 🤍 you deserve that and so much more 🪽 SAD PROSE 🖋️ touya tdrk + “with my calamitous love and insurmountable grief”

- mady 🤍🪽💿💭🐚

ahhh sorry it took this long! this was a challenge! i really hope you like this. I guess, be the betty to my betty? anyway, love u mady!

✒️"SAD PROSE" - send a character + your favorite folklore lyric, and I'll write a short blurb

"MY CALAMITOUS LOVE AND INSURMOUNTABLE GRIEF" - TOUYA TODOROKI x reader

Touya and you were childhood friends. You had known him since you were a toddler, because you were neighbours.

The first time you met Touya, was when you were around three years old. Your had just moved in to the neighbourhood, so your mother decided that you should greet and introduce yourselves to the family next door.

You didn't remember that moment with a lot of detail, but you recalled your mother knocking on the door, a beautiful white haired woman opening, and a little Touya peeking from behind.

From that moment on, Touya became part of your life, and you his. You practically ate, slept and breathed together. It was so common for you to be at his house, that you weren't even amazed anymore by the fact that his father was one of the biggest heroes.

To you, he was just the man who usually made your best friend cry.

Touya was homeschooled, so he always asked you what it was like to study with other people. His reality was very different to yours; he was taught by private tutors, and as he grew up, most of his free time was spent on quirk trainning with his father.

Still, you did everything that was possible so you could see him everyday. Of course, you started to spend time with his sibblings as well. Fuyumi was just a few months younger than you, whereas Natsuo and Shoto were still very little.

As the years passed, you started to comprehend better a lot of things, you started to see things that you hadn't seen before.

You saw how Touya's father had a lot of expectations on him, you saw how your best friend was getting injured because of this, you saw the way Rei was as preoccupied as you were, and you understood how impotent you were in this situation.

The only thing you could do for Touya, was hold him while he cried, help him clean his wounds, and hear him vent about his father.

Throughout the decade you had known Touya, you had seen him change. He seemed to have lost his happineess, and replaced it with a motivation to please his father's wishes.

But you always remained as his constant.

Since you met, Touya told you that he would keep you by his side forever, that when you grew up, you'd be together for the rest of your lives.

But destiny played its cards, and on a windy day in winter something happened...

"Y/N, today is the day! I'm going to show my father how a great hero I can become!" Touya said, seemingly excited.

"Are you sure Tou? I'm sure you'll be a great hero, but I'm still worried about you..." You said to your best friend. Touya scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You sound like my mother, Y/N. I have told you not to worry, I'm stronger than my father, he has to see that!"

"I really hope he does. Just be careful, Tou!" You knew better than to push Touya. He needed to feel supported, so you gave him that.

"Yeah, whatever..." Touya shrugged, and you both stayed silent for a few seconds, before he spoke again.

"You know, Y/N? I want you to be by my side forever. I'll marry you when we're older."

"Huh!? Don't talk nonesense Tou, you're too young to decide that!" You felt your cheecks burn.

"That's why I said when we're older. I'll be the greatest hero, and I'll have the greatest best friend as my partner" Touya gave you a small smirk, so you shoved his shoulder.

"Shut up, idiot!" You said, but couldn't help the smile you had.

You both started laughing and shoving each other. In that moment, your heart burnt with intensity, but the incident that happened later that evening made it burst into a thousand ashes.

That was the last time you had seen Touya; he had made you a promise he wasn't able to fulfill. Your forever dissapeared hand in hand with him.

The years that followed didn't make it any easier, you kept telling yourself "It takes time", but deep down you knew that it was only making you ache more and more.

So, when you watched the news and saw your childhood best friend confessing to be part of the League of Villains, you entered a state of shock. You felt a mix of happiness, nostalgia, hope and depression.

You weren't sure whether he remembered you, if you could contact him or if you should just let everything stay buried. But a few days after the transmission, you found a letter in your doorstep.

It was inside of an envelope, that had "Touya" written in it. You sat down on your couch and opened it, with a hole in your stomach.

"Dear Y/N, It's been a long time, so I'm not sure if you will read this. I haven't had classes in a long of time, so don't get petty with my spelling, okay dumbass? I'm sure you're confused with all the mediatic stunts I pulled, and you may have a lot of questions, so I'll try to answer some of them. That day, after we talked, I went to the place where I had asked my father to meet me. He never showed up. I can't remember much after that; I was surrounded by fire and the next thing I knew, was that I woke up in a hospital three years after. The next years, I worked on developing my quirk. I couldn't go back home, and I couldn't go back to you. I may sound like a stalker, but I've been keeping an eye on you though. Just checking from time to time that you were okay... You know? I sometimes wonder if you would feel dissapointed for the way I turned out. I hope that deep inside you, you understand that this was my only way to get my revenge at the old bastard. You're collateral damage. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise, our field of dreams ended up engulfed in fire. Anyway, you may have been right back then. We were just kids, what we thought was for all time, was momentary. I don't have much more to say. This might be the last goodbye, please use this as closure Y/N, and don't try to contact me. I loved you, you were the loss of my life. - Touya "

With your watery eyes, you were forced to let go of Touya for the second time. Your heart filled with an emotion that you could only describe as calamitous love and insurmountable grief.

a/n: so... I know this was supposed to be only inspired by folklore, but i had to add a little ttpd for the suffering! btw this is not proof read, again! so sorry if there are any mistakes

[riiwrites]

Can you make something for Oda? Where he started seeing his s/o who also takes care of the orphans and are gifted as well, maybe able to sing a deadly lullaby, and when the orphans got killed his s/o takes down the Mimic instead, out of grief and rage by using their gift and maybe Oda comforting after that, then maybe they leave together to start a new. (this man seriously deserved better)

a quiet life

a/n : i actually couldn’t wait to write this idea, oda truly did deserve so much better. asagiri when i catch you oda is coming back in the next arc (trust it trust it!)

a/n : i found it quite odd i used 'mom' considering i’m scottish but oh well!

pairing : oda x gn!reader (reader is referred to as mom by kids)

genre : fluff at the beginning, angst angst angst

warnings : mentions of blood & murder

wc : 3k

masterlist taglist main page

"Don’t you think stars are a beautiful sight to gaze upon?"

Oda turns to you, a soft smile placed upon his features.

"Rather lyrical tonight, aren’t you?"

You turn to him with furrowed eyebrows and a playful smirk on your face at his harmless comment

"Don't you enjoy my whimsical poetry?

“Indeed I do, but you only seem to talk like that when something is on your mind.”

You relax your expression and your smirk falters only to the same soft smile he gave you. You look down at the concrete below you as you begin to speak.

“Don’t you think a quiet life would be nice?”

Oda’s smile falls down to a small frown. He reaches from under your chin to lift your head up so you can face him.

“A quiet life?” He repeats, beckoning for you to elaborate.

“Yeah.” Your eyes follow his own as you look up at him. “A quiet life with the kids.”

“You mean the five children who are anything but the definition of peace and tranquillity?”

At this you laugh, your smile returning to your lips as you cock your head to the side with Oda’s hand still resting underneath your chin.

“Absolutely.” You say with such certainty. Oda smiles as his hand traces up to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking your skin ever so gently.

“I’m happy with the life we have currently of course, but..” You pause.

“But?”

“Don't you think having such a delicate part of your life along with such a tough part of it also could shatter everything in such a short bit of time?”

He frowns, understanding what you mean by your words.

“You mean my job, correct?”

You nod, letting out a soft sigh as you turn away from him, his hand no longer resting on your cheek as you look up at the night sky.

“I know I tell you this almost every night but you know I’m right, Oda. This mafia life you claim to have going for you isn’t great and it’s going to catch up on you sooner or later, no matter how much of a good person you are.” You truthfully say, giving him a look of hurt and worry.

Oda gives you a look with sympathy, him only nodding in understanding and turning to also look at the sky. A moment of silence passes through the wind before you continue.

“I just want us to be safe.”

“We will be.”

He brings down a hand to cup your chin once more, bringing it up to make you look up into his eyes.

“Do you remember that creative mind of yours describing to me what our future could be if you had the world in your hands?”

You think for a few moments, recollecting your thoughts until you eventually find that fond memory.

“To build a cabin house with six bedrooms, around four windows placed in each room alongside the kitchen..” You whisper.

“What else?” He urges

“One little TV placed on a cabinet table in the living room so the children can eat their home cooked meals with a proper working furnace, beside it being a cozy warm fireplace that’s well kept away from the children..” You giggle at your last comment.

“And?”

You pause, resting your cheek into his palm as tears fill your eyes, attempting to hold back your sorrow but when you imagine such a peaceful life with such ordinary requests that you can’t reach it becomes a bit difficult for you to maintain composure.

“A little baby room, for when we have our own one day..”

Oda smiles at this, rubbing his thumb up and across your cheek, wiping away the tear that threatens to fall from your waterline. He gives you the sweetest kiss on the forehead, his other hand coming up to rub the back of your head in a comforting manner.

“I want to sit in a room that overlooks the sea.” He says, now resting his forehead against yours. “A room where we can read to all of our children those stories I will write one day and those lullabies you will sing to them also.”

You look up to meet his eyes once more.

“Our children?”

There’s a moment of silence before he lets out a breathless chuckle escape his lips.

“Our children.”

More tears escape your eyes, you sniffle and wipe your tears as Oda wipes some more from his fingers.

“My beautiful partner..” He starts.

“My beautiful soon to be married..” He continues.

“We will be alright.”

You brush through Sakuras hair with one of her pretty pink hairbrushes she insisted on you using. You were helping each one of the children get ready for bed, each one having their own unique personality and behaviour to them.

Kōsuke, being the oldest out of all the orphans Oda took in. He always insists he can get ready himself, and although he can - he hates the rule of having to actually getting ready for bed specifically so it’s naturally your job to make sure he’s managed first.

Katsumi, the second hardest to actually help get ready for bed. Not because he can’t manage it, but simply because he would much rather play baseball outside even when it’s dark.

“I just don’t understand why you two would want to play out here after hours, especially when there’s creeps and bad things out here that lurk in the night..” You speak to the children from the balcony you were standing on, looking down at the two boys who were so persistent on an extra five minutes.

“What, bad things like monsters? Hah! I’m not five anymore! Those stories are stupid!” Kōsuke argues, crossing his arms as he stands stubbornly to clearly state he isn’t moving any time soon.

“Yeah! Plus, if any creepers came up to try and hurt us we’d beat them to a pulp!” Katsumi shouts, balling his fist and punching his baseball glove, his eyebrows furrowing and smiling mischievously, showing his missing tooth on his upper teeth. You giggle, propping your elbows up on the bannister and resting your chin on your hands as you stare fondly at the kids. You pout jokingly as you begin to speak.

“Well, it’s a shame really..I guess I’ll just have to sit all alone and read my lullabies to myself.”

At this Katsumi’s expression flickered into a change rather quickly, his eyebrows now furrowing in a sad manner as his demeanour changes within a flash.

“Hey wait!! I wanna listen to your lullabies Y/N!”

Kōsuke turns around to Katsumi, a look of betrayal written all over his face as he stomps his foot.

“Hey!! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“But Miss/Mister Y/N’s gonna be lonely..” He pouts.

“Uh- no, they’ll have Mr Oda to keep them company!”

“But I enjoy the lullabies..”

“Oh come now Katsumi it’s okay, just go on and get ready for bed kay?” You say with a sweet smile on your face, Katsumis face immediately lighting up as he runs up the stairs to the balcony and into the building.

Kōsuke watches in disbelief at Katsumi rushing off within an instant. He glares at you as you stick your tongue out at him, blowing a raspberry like a child yourself as you turn around and beckon for him to come in, him following behind you without any hesitation with him mumbling and grumbling like the five year old he said he wasn’t.

Next was Yū, he wasn’t much of a bother considering how he was rather preoccupied with his games, although he sure liked to keep your mind busy with him joining the other boys antics and frequently sneaking his electronics into his bed so he could attempt to play them overnight, most of the time his plan fails.

“Yū..” You say with a quirked eyebrow, your hands on your hips as you stare at him from the bunk bed.

He turns to you with a sweet smile that could’ve fooled anyone, but not you.

“Yeah?”

“Give it.”

He tries to pull a confused expression, only making him look silly due to the fact he was trying not to smile whilst being caught in a lie.

“I don’t know what you could be talking about..“

“Miss/Mister Y/N, Yū hid his gameboy under his pillow!!”

“Sakura!!”

He groans in annoyance as you smirk, holding your hand out for him to give you the electronic, him complying with harsh movements as he grabs his pillow, lifts it, grabs the gameboy but places it in your hand ever so gently, crossing his arms and pouting. You pat him on the head with a soft smile, taking his hat off in the process.

“Bed, now.”

Now for the most competent one, Shinji. He was the sweetest and timid boy you ever met when you first started seeing Oda. Rather quiet and cautious with himself and around others but the more you got to know him, the more you saw just how easily comfortable he got with you.

“And no reading under the covers!” You say as you take the book from Shinji.

He nods with a sweet smile as he heads to bed. But before he gets into the covers, he pauses for a moment and stays there, almost seeming like he was hesitating to ask something. You stand as you watch his back freeze and you wait patiently for him to turn around and gain the courage. He turns around cautiously and fiddles with his little fingers before asking quietly.

“C-can you read me it..?” He asks kindly, pointing to the small picture book you took from him and then instantly looking down when he notices you glancing at the book and back at him. Your heart melts, a small pout forming on your lips as you smile.

“Of course, sweetheart. Come on let’s tuck you in.”

Oda doesn’t think Shinji’s ever smiled so brightly in his life.

Sakura was the quietest next to Shinji, although she had a bright and caring personality around everyone. It was kind of hard being the only girl out of all the kids for her, not being able to have the same interests as the boys all seem to have. Sure, she messed around with them and played tricks on Oda with their silly fake mafia style games, but she never actually had someone to talk about the things she really wanted to talk about or do - which is why she found the most comfort in you.

Which is where you are now, brushing her hair gently with the pretty pink hairbrush she so desperately “needed” you to use. She claims it makes her hair shine, you believe so too.

“Your hairs so pretty, Miss/Mister Y/N..” Sakura says with a cute smile as she stares at you through the mirror, seeming so mesmerised by you overall. You grin as you brush her hair so gently, not wanting to brush too hard through her tugs.

“Thank you, Sakura.” You say softly, looking down at her head so you don’t miss any unbrushed ends.

“I wish I had hair like you..” She tilts her head to the side slightly, kicking her feet back and forth on the chair she was sitting on. You furrow your eyebrows playfully, the smile still remaining on your lips.

“That so?”

“Yeah!” She beams.

“Well, what if I told you that I’d much prefer to have your hair?”

At this her face lights up brighter than before.

“Really??”

“Mhm.”

“But why?”

You stop brushing her hair for a moment before placing it on the desk of the bathroom, smiling and placing your chin on top of her head.

“Because it’s so perfect, silky smooth and is the best to style.”

She gets excited at this, bouncing up and down as she pats her legs.

“I really do like my pigtails..” She says with a bit of shyness.

“They’re beautiful on you dear.”

“You do them best though!!” She exclaims, giggling as you hug her gently.

“Hey Miss/Mister Y/N?” She says after a few moments of giggling.

“Yes, Sakura?”

There’s a little pause before she thinks of what to say.

“Are you technically my mommy?”

You stop for a second, practically freeze in place. You blink at your reflection in the mirror before you turn to look at her fully.

“What do you mean, dear?”

She shifts on her butt and turns around to now fully look at you, hugging her knees to her chest as she slowly continues to elaborate.

“I mean..you always take care of us..and you act like our mommy, and although i wouldn’t mind if you were my dad also..I’ve never had a mommy before..”

Your heart breaks at this. She was right, Oda was their father figure that was present in all of their lives from the beginning, saving them one by one from death and raising them up until now without any mother figure present. Although, Oda has clearly done an amazing job raising these kids you can’t help but have sympathy for all of them for feeling so..empty? You’re snapped out your thoughts quickly as you feel Sakuras tiny hand tug on your sleeve.

“Can I call you mommy?”

You pause, until a soft smile is placed on your lips and you lean in to kiss her forehead.

“Yeah, you can call me that.”

She smiles happily, now crawling up to you using her tiny hands to claw at your sleeves to help her get up to your lap. Now sitting on it she cuddles into you, feeling warmth on your chest as you smile happily, wrapping your arms around the small little girl as you rub her back soothingly.

“I love you mommy.” She says sweetly.

“I love you too dear.” You whisper softly, not knowing that Oda had been leaning against the door the entire time with the most heart warming smile ever present on his face.

“You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You'll never know, dear

How much I love you

Please don't take

My sunshine away”

“Mom! Why do you always have to sing that one song? It’s getting boring now..” Katsumi whines, resting his cheek against the corner of the chair as he looks up at you.

“Yeah, it’s a stupid song..” Kōsuke grumbles, crossing his arms as he looks to the side in a huff.

“Hey, don’t be mean!! I love the song mommy, I do I do!!” Sakura beams, grabbing your leg with her hands as she begins to shake you in her grasp.

Oda chuckles at this, leaning against his hands from where he was sitting on the floor with the kids as you sat in the rocking chair, singing them lullabies before bed.

“I didn’t think you guys could be so opinionated. I remember back in the easy days where I’d just give you all a bottle of milk and you’d be content.”

“Hey! I am content!” Kōsuke retorts, glaring at Oda.

“Do you even know what that word means?” Katsumi asks.

“…”

“No.”

“Neither.”

“Okay but seriously! What’s the deal, mom? Why can’t you sing us another song?” Katsumi exclaims whilst Yū agrees.

“Yeah! I wanna know too!”

You tap your cheek with your finger a few times as you look up at the ceiling, pretending to look as if you were thinking before you looked down at Oda who was looking at you like a lovesick fool.

“Should I tell them?”

“Should you?”

“Should I?”

“STOP IT!!” Kōsuke shouts. “Just tell usss!” He groans.

You giggle. “Okay okay,” you say softly as you place your hands in your lap before you whisper gently.

“What if I told you all..that I had special powers?”

“Like super powers?” Yū asks, you nod. The children all beam at this, even little Shinji who was placed on Odas knee now hitting it in excitement along with Sakura on the other.

“Like Mr. Oda’s super powers..?” Shinji asks.

“Well, the same term - but not the same power.” You start.

“My ability, is to hypnotise those who dare to hear my lullabies..” You explain. “And unfortunately, due to my ability, I can’t sing specific songs to you guys because I don’t want to harm you all with my power, so I found that this song which you all liked seemed to work wonders!” You beam.

“Used to like, now it’s so overused..” Kōsuke groans.

“Be nice!!” Sakura snaps as she slaps Kōsuke on the leg.

“Ow! Hey!”

“Alright that’s enough..” Oda grabs Sakura and places her away from Kōsuke, who just mutters under his breath and sinks further into his pillow.

“Wait wait wait!” Katsumi holds up his hand as to say ‘pause’.

“Is that why whenever I hear your lullaby, I feel myself getting sleepy..?” His eyes widen as he speaks, as if he’s just had a realisation. Oda chuckles at Katsumis accusation.

“I don’t think that’s quite it, Katsumi..”

“No no!! It totally is!! Look at their creepy face!!” He screams out and points to your mischievous smirk as you look down at all the children to which they all squeal at this, now all attempting to hide behind Oda although Kōsuke on the other hand remains unfazed, staying in the same position in his pillow.

You laugh, breaking character completely. “Alright alright! No, Katsumi, I’m not hypnotising you to sleep.” You begin, reaching over to boop his nose. “You, are just naturally tired.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

Oda picks up Shinji with one arm and Sakura with the other, smiling softly at the other older children. “Alright guys, time to sleep.”

They all groan.

“Nooo!! Please!” Sakura whines, kicking her feet in the air from where Oda’s holding her to which Oda ignores her pleas as he takes her and Shinji out the room, Yū and Katsumi trailing behind soon after, leaving you and Kōsuke alone.

You turn to Kōsuke to see him staring at the floor, seeming to be lost in thought.

“Something on your mind, Kōsuke?”

Kōsuke looks up at you and purses his lips together, muttering a little 'no' under his breath.

You know he’s lying, so you persist.

“Is it the song?”

“…”

“No, the songs fine..”

“I thought it was overplayed..”

“No!” He snaps. “I like the stupid song! I just hate how it makes me feel..” He says the last part quietly, you raise an eyebrow, looking down at him.

“How do you mean?”

“Just..makes me feel stupidly tired and..stupidly..-“

“Content?” You finish for him.

“..Yeah, whatever the hell that word means..”

You smile as he says one more thing. “I don’t want you to stop singing, your voice is nice, you’re nice.”

“I’m nice?”

“Mhm..”

Your smile only grows. You reach over and ruffle Kōsuke’s hair to which he slaps your hand away.

“Thank you for telling me that, Kōsuke..and for what it’s worth, I think you’re just as nice too.”

You actually see him smile, he sits up properly now.

“Can you sing me it one more time?”

“Tomorrow, love.”

“Okay.”

You think that would be the end of that while lasting moment, until he says one more thing.

“Thanks, mom.”

You turn to him as your health melts for the last and final time.

“You’re welcome, dear.”

Little did you know, that would be the last and final time you’d ever sing that precious lullaby to your sweet babies before they were taken from you.

You were walking back from the grocery store, two bags full of sweet treats occupy your arms as you hum the same sweet melody you sang to your kids the previous night.

It wasn’t until you had reached around the corner you see..what is that, smoke? Coming from near the place the kids stay. ‘That’s strange' you thought, maybe the chef had burned something? He’s always one to make mistakes, or so you thought.

You hear police sirens, ambulance sirens and even..screams? You recognise it within an instant ; Oda. Your eyes widen as you begin to rush over to the scene, only to find your boyfriend on his hands and knees, practically sobbing his heart out and screaming his lungs up at the ground as he’s infront of a blown up van. You rush over and kneel down to Oda, dropping one of your groceries to touch his face.

“Oda, baby, what’s happened talk to me please, are the kids okay..?!”

That question made his stomach churn, and he turns his head up to finally look at you, and he looks traumatised and absolutely broken, although it doesn’t answer your question, so you repeat it.

“Are the kids okay..?”

“…”

“Oda..”

“…”

“Oda, god don’t do this to me tell me the kids are okay..”

Oda shakes his head, tears now streaming down his face as he lets out choked sobs inbetween his next words.

“Y/N..I-I’m so sorry..I tried..I tried to keep them safe I just-..I didn’t..”

Your heart drops, your eyes widen even more as realisation hits you like a truck.

You stand up and slowly walk over to the van which is now been surrounded by yellow and black caution tape. You look down at the floor and see blood, lots and lots of blood and one thing that truly confirms your fears makes your heart break.

Kōsuke’s sunglasses rested on the floor covered in smoke confirms absolutely everything.

You drop your groceries, your body shaking with fear, sadness, and anger. You fall to the floor You fall to the floor on your knees as your breathing becomes heavy, little gasps escaping your throat as your throat closes up, your hand covering your mouth as you sob, Oda within a flash is now by your side as hes also on his knees, cradling you and hugging you so close to his chest that he’ll think you’ll disappear from him anytime soon.

“I’m so sorry..I’m so sorry..” He repeatedly whispers, sobbing into your hair as you sob loudly into his chest, both of your hearts hurting so much full of grief and woe.

“My babies..they were my babies..” Your screams are muffled by Oda’s jacket as you breath heavily into it, hyperventilating hard.

You dig your nails into his shirt, tears staining it as you claw as if you were looking for answers, looking for practically anything as to find any source as to say 'Hey, this is a dream' but no, you were right infront of it, the truth.

Your babies were gone.

Days later…

Oda was sitting on the same rocking chair you once sat on when you read and sang those cherish-able words and lullabies to the children. He stares at his feet, in such a grave state of confusion, denial and depression. You had been AWOL for the past few days now, Oda giving you your personal space as he doesn’t want to overstep or push you any further but oh what he would do to be basked in your affection and comfort right now, it was all he needed. He fears if he’s alone for any longer he may do something drastic. That is until..a creak from the door let’s him escape his thoughts.

Blood, the first thing he sees. You covered in blood, your face and body and hands all covered in someone else’s blood made his own run cold, his eyes widen as he sees your hurt expression, you both look into eachother eyes knowing how much you were both truly hurting.

It wasn’t until you dropped to your knees, grabbing the covers of one of the children’s bunk beds Oda gets out his seat swiftly dropping down and hugging you tightly, a little similar to a few days ago. He lets you let it all put, god knows you both need it. You sob and sob until your heart lets out everything you had left to offer, because what else was there left to give? Everything you once had was taken from you within a second, something so delicate, so fragile ; shattered.

“I killed him.” You start, Odas heart drops.

“You killed who..?” He whispers.

“The bastard who took our babies..” You seethed.

Oda notices your voice and how hoarse it was, and that’s when he realises the painful truth. You had used your ability, a deadly lullaby, to kill the mastermind of the plot to take away your children.

“Baby..it’s okay..please j-“

“Run away with me.”

“..what..?”

“You heard me goddamnit, run away with me Oda what the hell are we waiting for?!” You scream out. Your voice, raspy and breaking from the previous moments you ripped that disgusting man’s life away from his throat and body.

“We’ve been sitting, imagining and talking but why not live it already? Nobody’s stopping us!”

“My job is stopping me, Y/N-“

“No the hell it isn’t, stop bullshitting it!! You can quit, you can be free, Dazai will be fine he can come visit us and whatnot the kid will be the boss by twenty-three you know it, I know it..!”

You grab his face into your hands, his cheeks becoming covered in blood from how dirty your own were. With wide eyes you whisper, desperation and need evident within your voice as you plea.

“Please, for me, for the kids..”

Oda looks at you in disbelief, his breathing shaky as he stares at you with wide eyes staring into yours.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, you’re hurting..”

“So are you, but we can heal.”

A pause.

“And..hey, what way to start that goddamn journey by building a cabin house..?” You let out a breathless laugh, Oda laughs with you, resting his forehead against yours as he finally whispers.

“With a room that just overlooks the sea..”

2 years later…

The waves crashing against the shore make a perfect combination with the melody you now sing in the depths of your dark brown clattered cabin.

“You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are gray

You'll never know, dear

How much I love you

Please don't take

My sunshine away”

“Please don’t take my sunshine away..” You whisper once more with such genuine feeling before you plant a kiss on your gorgeous newborns head, stroking her head as she sleeps peacefully in your arms as you rock back and forth amongst the rocking chair.

You hear a few creaks from the floorboards and from your husband, who carefully steps out of his writers room as he doesn’t want to wake up his child.

“Hey.” You whisper.

“Hey.” He smiles.

“What you doing in there?” You say softly as you nod your head to the writers room hes just emerged out of.

“Working on my book.”

You nod, smiling as you look down at the baby, then back at your husband.

“I haven’t had the chance to ask, what’s it about?”

Oda cautiously walks up to you and kneels down next to you, stroking his baby’s head with the back of his hand.

“Just, how having such a delicate life along with a tough part of it also has its consequences and could shatter everything within a short space of time.”

“Rather melodramatic tonight, are you not?

“Don’t you enjoy my whimsical poetry?”

You smirk as he smiles, before he stands back up and glances out at the window, holding his hands behind his back. You stand up, being extra careful with your movements as you approach Oda and stand beside him. He opens the window wide open, revealing the night sky and the sound of the waves crashing down on the shore. You glance up at the night sky, looking up amongst all the beautiful stars scattered across the horizon, that is until something caught your eye.

Out of all the stars you saw, five took your fancy. Five stars shined proudly upon the horizon as they shined together and with no other star before, at this you smile, tears slowly filling your eyes as you nudge Oda gently.

“They’re beautiful to gaze upon, don’t you think?”

Oda looks up at the sky and instantly knows what you’re talking about and he smiles, his heart aching but healing it’s wounds just by looking at the scenery little by little.

“Yeah, they sure are.”

TAGLIST : @hauntedsol @hopefulpain @forgotten-blues @ruru-kiss @texas-bitch-yee @lvstyangel @thetizzler @is-therelife-onmars @atlasnessie @101strawberries101

@riiwrites

[akindplace]

List of famous Brazilian songs that have changed me in ways I can’t even explain and I think you should give a listen to and be changed forever too

Carcará - João do Vale e Chico Buarque

Elza Soares - Espumas ao vento

Elza Soares - A carne (a song criticizing systemic racism

Chitãozinho e Xororó - Evidências (this is a country love song that is so ridiculously famous that most people know the lyrics. it’s camp and it’s iconic and it’s a vibe)

Caetano Veloso - Você não me ensinou a te esquecer (this song always makes me tear up and it’s just… beautiful but incredibly sad, about the impossibility of forgetting someone you love and lost. so much grief)

Elis Regina - Como nossos pais (she had such a great voice) “I feel everything in the living wound in my heart” “my pain is realizing that even though we did everything, we are still the same and we still live just as our parents” (it’s quite a political song too, criticizing the dictatorship that was in power since 1964 and was implemented with support from the usa - many people who were brutally murdered haven’t been found to this day)

Cazuza - O tempo não para “in cold nights it’s better to have never been born, in the hot ones you have to choose between killing and being killed, they call you a thief, queer, stoner, turn the whole country into a whorehouse so they can make more money” - yes this song is also political

Mc Marcinho - Glamourosa

To end this on a song that is not political in itself but from a genre created in the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, so a very political genre that often criticizes racism and politics in Brazil, called funk. This song is about a glamourous woman who is the queen of funk and also dances really well

Unfortunately will not be accepting any criticism in my music taste but will be accepting any additions by Brazilians telling me “why did you forget x, y, z” please add to the post your favorites, love you, bye