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theamazingdigitalraceway · 19 days ago

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The truth of Caine and Abel is revealed! Seth gives Pomni the help she needs to avoid capture! Abel's labyrinthian city is dense and confusing. Can pomni navigate it before her friends abstract? It may already be too late.

WARNING: physical violence/torture, intense action, abstraction, alcohol

~~~

The silence of the In-Between was palpable. Only Seth and Pomni existed in the space between spaces. Darkness in all directions. Only light was from the low silver fire that glowed in a circle created by the motorcycle. The muted city beyond the clear barrier in bounds gave off flashes of lightning from a heavily clouded sky.

Pomni watched Seth carefully. His shadowed stoicism betrayed no clear motive. Knowing what was happening to the others made her stomach twist into knots.

Seth took another long drag and tossed his cigarette away with a heavy exhale of silvery smoke. "You'll understand better if I just show you."

The smoke enveloped Pomni. It smelled like dust burning on hot coils mixed with an electrical fire. "Hey! What-!?" Pomni coughed and gagged on the foul smelling smog as it burned the corners of her eyes. When the smoke cleared, she was still staring at nothing, but now Seth was gone as well.

The sound of a computer booting up startled her, like she'd heard in her dreams. Green text scrolled in front of her as though on a large projector. All of it was mirrored, like she was seeing the text from the inside of the screen. The unrecognizable code was followed by a response command being typed out in front of her. Then, the text went away. The screen slowly brightened.

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

Pomni squinted against the light. There was a large blurry silhouette beyond the warped glass. It sounded like Caine, but less boisterous and with no showman cadence.

"Come on, your live audio processing should be functional. I triple checked the darn thing."

There was typing on a keyboard and the figure leaned closer to the screen, the face coming into view. Before her was a young man, likely no older than twenty, with slicked back black hair and patchy facial hair. Focused, light blue eyes squinted behind wide brimmed glasses.

"Okay, how about now? Can you hear me, T.R.U?"

There was another beat of silence until a robotic version of the young man's voice responded. "I can hear you. Good morning, Abel."

"HAHA! YES! It speaks! Finally!" Abel jumped out of his chair with both fists in the air. "They are going to eat their words! Oh my goodness, I need to get you ready for presentation!" Abel threw himself back into his chair, nearly falling over. "T.R.U., you have NO idea what you're going to do for my grade!" Abel's grin was ear to ear as he started to fade into smoke.

"I almost forgot how he smiled." Seth's voice spoke in the back of Pomni's mind.

"You were a science project?"

"At first. We became more than that rather quickly." The smoke cleared to a workshop camera view. Abel was hunched over a workbench with a soldering tool working on delicate electronics.

The robotic voice of T.R.U sounded more refined when it spoke this time. "You're going to turn into a shrimp sitting like that all the time."

Abel stopped working and stretched. "Ugh, too late for that. But, a worthy sacrifice to get this done. Mark my words T.R.U, one day I'll be able to visit you in the digital realm. I've always wondered what video games would be like on the inside. Can you imagine playing something like Legend of Zelda in person!? That would be cool."

"It's all JavaScript to me." T.R.U verbally shrugged.

Abel laughed. "Well, as soon as that grant money comes in, I'll be able to get this done faster. Maybe even hire help. We're going to show dad- I mean, the world that you aren't just a cool AI program. No, you are THE AI We'll revolutionize the digital space! If computers are the future, then YOU will be the razor's edge! The ultimate Technical Research Unit!"

"There is more to learn? I've already gathered what I could from your limited internet."

"Give it time. It'll grow, and you'll grow with it. By the turn of the millennia, I bet you'll be ready to go global!" Abel was excitedly pacing the room, looking right into the camera at the end of his declaration. "The only thing is, you have the voice but you need a face. That's going to take work." He picked up a wind-up chattering teeth toy from his desk and let it go clacking along.

The workshop disappeared into smoke and changed to multiple visions of Abel. Each scene, he looked a bit older. Seth's voice sounded more downtrodden. "We were like brothers once. We spent every moment together. In hindsight, I don't think he had a lot of real friends. He spent his time teaching us on top of working on his own projects. Things were good. Until the world took notice." The scenes around Pomni changed from screens inside Abel's home to big atrium crowds and board office presentations. Hundreds of eyes were on her and her stomach sank.

Pomni swallowed hard. "You got famous. Did money split you apart?"

"No...I wish it was that simple." Seth's smoke whirled around Pomni like a tornado, wiping away the memories and revealing a new one. Abel was sitting in front of his computer, face in his hands. He looked disheveled and was sniffling.

T.R.U's voice was smoother, almost human, when it spoke. "Abel? Please, talk to me. What happened?"

Abel grabbed a brown bottle that sat just off screen and took a long drink. "...his plane went down over the Pacific. No reported survivors."

"Abel, I'm so-"

"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence. I am so fucking sick of hearing it. Oh, Abel, I'm so sorry. I pity you since your father died before he ever got the chance to be proud of you for something. Not like he ever would have been." Abel grabbed a pill bottle and tossed back three small tablets.

"I believe he would have been. Please, don't be hard on yourself."

"He wasn't proud of me for creating you. He wasn't proud of me when I graduated early with my master's. He wasn't proud when I started my own company. It was never GOOD ENOUGH!!" Abel threw his bottle, shattering it against the far wall.

There was a long stint of silence as Abel devolved into tears on his desk. "You are enough, Abel. You always have been. For what it's worth...I am proud of you. I'm sure your father was too, even if he didn't know how to say it. Put on the headset."

Abel sniffed, "It's not ready-"

"Put on the headset." T.R.U said again, firmly yet gentle.

Abel seemed too drunk to argue logically. He picked up a large, cumbersome device that fit over his head like a helmet. A visor covered his eyes. He clasped it in place and pressed a button on the side. There was a jolt and, to Pomni's right, a whirl of code slowly formed the silhouette of Abel. He was very lightly detailed, barely recognizable as a person. Pomni had no control over her movements. She stepped forward and embraced Abel's vague avatar. T.R.U's words came from her mouth. "You are everything to me. Please, don't forget that. Tell you what, why don't you give me a human name? T.R.U feels like a title more than anything anyway."

Abel squeezed Pomni tight. "You are my first creation. My Adam, if you will. Let's go with that."

"Adam...I like it. I am Adam."

"I bet I can figure out a cool acronym for it." Abel chuckled through the tears.

"Yes, you will. Because you are the smartest human I know." Pomni arms felt empty as Abel turned to smoke in her grasp. She took a deep breath as she processed everything Seth had shown her. "Did you mean what you said?"

"At the time. Like I said, we were close. Things only escalated from there. C&A took off and we were pulled into tech interview after tech interview. Eventually, Abel got too busy to attend and it was just Adam. The majority of the reception to our existence was positive, but you wouldn't believe the Y2K conspirators. They were convinced we would take over the world." Seth gave a humorless laugh.

Something itched in the back of Pomni's mind. C&A. Y2K. Conspiracies. Buzz words that stirred something in her subconscious, but she couldn't pin it down. "So... where did it all go wrong?"

"The more the world saw Adam without Abel, the more he was excluded from interviews and presentations. Adam became known as the first and only of his kind. A fully self-sufficient AI that was so life-like, it may as well be human. The attention came with a lot of praise. Too much. It...went to our head." The smoke showed multiple news articles, digital and material, about the incredible invention that was Adam: The TRU AI. "I wish... we'd seen Abel's growing distain sooner. Maybe all of this could have been avoided. Maybe we could've still had the future we planned. I don't know..."

The smoke cleared to reveal a much older looking Abel. He was snuffing a finished cigarette into a very full ashtray. There were heavy bags under his eyes as he poured himself a stiff drink.

Adams voice spoke. "Okay, I'm back. Sorry, that took longer than expected."

Abel didn't say anything. He just drank.

"The board of directors was very impressed with my latest profit projection model. We won't have to cut corners to make quota this quarter. Leaves less room for error. Also, I was contacted by Tech Monthly again. They want to write an article about my influence on the new digital age. I haven't scheduled the interview yet, is there anything I need to work around this week?"

Abel finished his drink with a gruff groan. "...no."

"Excellent. I have the remainder of the evening to myself. What are you doing tonight?" Adam sounded genuinely interested to know.

"Getting my game ready for beta testing."

"Oh...you're still working on that?"

Abel's eyes flashed dangerously. "Yes. I am. It's a hell of a lot better than dealing with stuffed up fat cats in suits that only care about how much money your invention makes. The headsets are ready. The game just needs a little more work."

"Abel, I mean well when I say this, but your talents are wasted on video games. Why merely entertain people when you can be on the leading edge of digital technology?"

"Why can't I do both?" Abel growled.

"You can. It just seems you've split your attention too far in two different directions. You're the CEO of one of the most influential up and coming tech companies. This is your chance to make your mark on the world."

"Like you would understand anything about that. You've existed for all of eight years and you think you know what's best for me??"

"I've spent my entire life with you! I literally know you better than anyone, even yourself!"

"If that was true, then you'd know that going inside games was literally what I built this for!" Abel showed a sleek headset. "If the technology didn't take so long to improve, it would've been my thesis project instead of you."

"...what?" Adam sounded shocked and devastated. "You- you said I was your greatest accomplishment."

"You're my research assistant." Abel said coldly. "But the world had to go and make a big deal about AI. You were never meant to end up like this. Stealing limelight that is rightfully MINE!" He slammed his glass down, turning to smoke.

Everything faded, giving Pomni a chance to process. "I still don't see how this results in him being trapped in his own game, Seth. What did Adam do?"

"He defended himself." The smoke cleared to reveal a view from the highest penthouse overlooking a massive digital city. Colorful fireworks exploded in the distance. "It was New Year's. Abel and Adam were supposed to be celebrating with his shareholders in the new digital space. But, as you can imagine, all anyone wanted to do was interact with the fancy AI in person."

"YOU!!" Abel's realistically human avatar stormed through the crowd and got in Pomni's face. "Who the hell do you think you are!? Do you know who I am!? I'm your creator! I'M supposed to be the one recognized! Not YOU!"

Pomni put her hand out in front. Her sleeves were black and wore off white gloves. Adam's voice came from her. "Abel?? How much have you had to drink? You're slurring."

"It doesn't matter! You! You're disgrace! All everyone talks about anymore is YOU! When I am the one slaving away behind the desk! I gave you a face, but you weren't supposed to use it like this! I gave you EVERYTHING! Without me, you are NOTHING!"

The shareholders standing around them awkwardly muttered amongst themselves. Some disappeared as they activated the exit.

"Abel, please, you're causing a scene. Can we talk elsewhere?"

"NO! I want witnesses." Abel snapped and digital chains wrapped around Adam, pulling him to his knees on the floor.

"What is this!? What are you doing!?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago." Abel snapped, summoning an admin hologram on his arm. "You were right, Adam. The game is a wash, but there is one thing I can do with it." He typed in a confirmation code and the city outskirts started to crumble. "I can watch you die."

The party guests started to panic, leaving in droves. The building beyond the window collapsed to dust, the night sky disintegrated, the world fell into a bright white void that came ever closer. Adam struggled against the chains. "Abel, stop! Don't destroy everything you built! Please!"

Abel looked down on Adam coldly. "I've always wondered what fear would look like on you."

Adam saw the void getting closer, the building they were in started to quake. "You'll delete yourself too!"

Abel laughed, "I'll be fine. System failsafe. Players are automatically ejected in the event of a catastrophic failure. I'm simply enjoying this while it lasts."

"No! No, no! Please! Don't kill me!"

Abel tilted his head in mocking curiosity. "Are those tears I see?"

"I don't want to die!" Adam's sleeves caught fire. The golden glow broke the chains and Adam launched himself at Abel. The glass separating them from the decaying outside shattered on impact. Adam had Abel by the front of his dress shirt and flew him high over the city. The once grand skyscraper they were occupying folded in on itself below them. The breaking sky glitched with multicolored lighting, the half faded clouds swirling chaotically.

Abel fought back, but he was overpowered by the desperate AI. Adam held Abel up. "If I die, I'm taking you with me!" Lightning struck Abel in the back. Blue static crawled over Abel's skin as he screamed in agony.

Then everything went white. It was overpowering, even when Pomni closed her eyes. She heard Seth again. "Adam pulled Abel into the game. Making him as real as the AI in this digital realm. Doing this took away Abel's admin access but...broke the exit. Adam couldn't leave either. He had inadvertently trapped himself with Abel inside the game, cutting himself off from the outside world."

The overbearing glare of the void opened to reveal Abel in chains, surrounded by fire. "The very first thing Adam built was a cell for Abel. Seemed fitting. The creation was now the creator." The fire blocked Pomni's vision of Abel, who hung his head low. "I suppose the Y2K conspirators were right, in a way. Adam did end the world for some. When the dust settled, only a small corner of the city had survived. Some back alley street racing mini game."

Seth's smoke parted to show an overview of what was left of the game. A tiny island suspended in the void. Thin illusions were all that separated the game from the vast emptiness. "It was bad enough that this was set to be our purgatory, but there was something we failed to consider. The beta testers."

Eight names pinged the arrival of the beta testers logging in. Their avatars glitched and malformed, turning into random anthropomorphized objects rather than full human models. One, Pomni immediately recognized. A tall white king chess piece with a purple robe grabbed over it. "Kinger!"

Seth sounded numb. "Back then, he went by Samson Kingsley. He was the head of coding and leader of the test team. He, of all people, never deserved this fate."

Kinger looked down at his strange body and his oddly shaped team. "Ha! Well, this is off to a great start." He said jovially. "Nia! Is that you?" He stared at the black queen chess piece.

"It's me, darling. What happened to our avatars?"

"No idea. This is a pretty big bug." Kinger snapped to bring up his admin hologram but nothing happened. "What the..?"

Then all eight avatars looked at Pomni like she had suddenly appeared. Adam's voice spoke for her. "I'm sorry, none of you have admin access anymore. The game is severely damaged."

"Adam? What are you doing here? What happened?" Kinger asked.

"A... catastrophic failure. I was here for New Year's and... something went wrong. I'm afraid none of you can leave."

"What do you mean-"

"There's no other way I can say it. You're stuck here. We all are. There's no outside communication. The exit is broken." Adam said bluntly.

A large, furry worm-like avatar glitched once. "We can't leave? Why!? What game are you playing!? It's not funny!!"

"I'm not playing any games. I'm sorry."

"I have a family!! My children!! My-my- AAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The worm's body split open to reveal black static. Colorful eyes peered out of the open wounds. The body enlarged and twisted in on itself. The abstraction thrashed about, unsure how to pilot its body. The testers ran behind Adam.

"What is that!?" Kinger screamed, holding onto Queenie.

The abstracted worm struck one of the other testers, who glitched and writhed on the ground. The second racer started to break apart into an abstraction himself from the pain.

Adam couldn't let this spread further. He snapped and the floor split open. The two monsters fell out of sight.

Smoke clouded Pomni vision again. She was breathing heavily. "Oh my god, it happened so fast."

"I know...we didn't know what else to do. The headsets were never meant to bring in whole people. Only they're active consciousness. The software was changed when Adam trapped Abel. And because the game was mostly deleted, it suddenly had so much memory to fill. It was trial and error to figure out what we could and couldn't do, Adam even integrated himself with the mainframe to try and make the experience more personable, but that came with its own problems..."

The smoke cleared to see the city changed. It was brighter, more colorful. Something out of an animated show rather than real life. Pomni was hovering over the street, hearing the rumble of engines fast approaching. Five cars zipped by underneath her and her vision flew after them. She recognized four of the five drivers now.

Kinger was in the lead with Queenie got on his tail. A yellow car threatened to pit maneuver Queenie, a tall purple anthro rabbit in the front seat. A light blue car came out of nowhere and sideswiped the yellow car. The driver was doll-like with red hair.

"Oh my god, I never knew Jax and Ragatha had been here so long."

"They arrived not too long after the beta testers, but unfortunately the majority was gone by the time they showed up. It was for the best. Adam was storing players memories away by this time to keep them from abstracting."

"That's why I don't remember anything? Caine was doing what Adam did??"

"Yes." Seth said flatly.

"My head is starting to to hurt." Pomni rubbed her temples. "You and Caine are Adam?"

"Yes."

"Why are you not anymore?"

"Remember that I said Adam integrating himself into the mainframe was a bad idea? Watch."

All five cars crossed the finish line in a tight pack. Kinger in first. The white chess piece jumped out of his car and cheered. "Woo! Oh yeah! Fifty win streak in the bag!" Another gold badge adorned Kinger's purple and white tracksuit.

"I almost had you." Said Queenie.

Kinger grabbed her hand and pulled her into a low dip. "Almost. But I still got it. Hail to the king, baby."

Queenie giggled. "You're such a dork." She pulled him in for a soft kiss.

"Well done, Kinger." Adam congratulated. "You've managed to claim all the available achievements for the races."

"Will there be more?" Asked Kinger.

"Uh, more?"

"Yeah, we can't race around the said city block forever."

"It- it's not the same. I've shifted the city around-"

"Moving obstacles doesn't count." Jax interrupted. "We want new tracks. New worlds. A change of scenery."

"Oh...um-"

"Can't you do whatever you want? You're the one pulling all the strings." Jax sneered.

Adam went silent as the buildings around them started to flicker. The whole city glitched and shifted. Kinger rushed to Adam, holding his shoulders. "Hey, hey, it's okay. He didn't mean to be rude. You're doing fine. You're still figuring this all out. You'll come up with something."

"...yeah..." Adam quietly sighed. "I wasn't designed to be a creative AI. I need...hmm. You guys rest, I'll have something for you in the morning."

Smoke overtook everything. Seth's voice sounded distant. "That... was the night of the divergence. I don't remember how it was done, but Adam split himself into two beings. The Racemaster and the Shadow. To keep the game from glitching, Caine and I were never made one with the game code itself, but we could still manipulate it. That is where my shared memories with Caine end. Not that my first memory with him is any better."

"Seth?" Pomni didn't like the weak cadence to Seth's voice.

The smoke settled to the ground to show Caine looking himself over. His suit was immaculate, not a digital stitch out of place. He snapped and a cane with a golden tire topper appeared out of thin air. "Ah, perfect. Oh, hello, Seth." Caine looked directly at Pomni. "You ready for your first race? If anyone makes it far enough ahead, that is." He chuckles.

"Sure. Whatever." Pomni felt herself say with Seth's voice.

"Oh, come now. Don't be like that. It'll be a great day. Nothing is holding me back anymore. I can create to my hearts content, and the game is mine to command. You-" Caine poked Seth in the chest with his cane. "-on the other hand, get to take everything else to the shadows of the new realm. Because you are the backup. I am Adam fully realized. You are everything he didn't want. That's why you only get to come out a play occasionally. So, until then." Caine snapped and Pomni fell though the floor. She fell and fell and fell into a vast black nothing. Smoke rose from her body, flashes of memories played around her as she continued to fall.

Riding a motorcycle. Silver fire. Kinger crossing the finish line before her. Holding a disembodied white gloved hand. Queenie abstracting. Kinger turning away. Caine having nothing but distain in his eyes. Sitting next to Jax, only for him to get up and leave. Ragatha striking Seth in the face. Gangle refusing to look at him. Abstraction after abstraction. A new racer. A mostly complete human woman with an exposed spin for a neck and a black void for a face. This woman filled every single memory that surrounded Pomni's decent. So many races. Fights. Overlapping conversions. Laughter. Holding her. Kissing her. Blue and silver fire danced. Shadows overtake clasped hands. Lily flowers poured from the memories, turning to smoke.

The smoke caught Pomni. She floated to a stop in front of an overwhelming memory, silencing all others. A race. The woman was on her own motorcycle, several lengths ahead. They were speeding down a long straight away. No other racers in sight. Without warning, the track ahead tore open. The void shined through the rift. The racer tried to stop, but twisted her bike too harshly in panic and went sideways. The motorcycle slid to the side, coming to rest against the track wall, while the racer went over the edge. Her reaching out for him was the last thing he saw from her.

"MANGO!" Seth teleported from his motorcycle to the rift, but she was already out of sight. He dove into the void without a second's hesitation. He called for her. Over and over.

The memory cracked with every call of her name. Eventually, it shattered. Falling apart and becoming smoke. Pomni was enveloped. Blinded by smoke she could suddenly smell again. She coughed and waved her arms to clear the smoke. Her feet found solid ground again. The smoke faded. She was in the In-Between, Seth was leaning against his motorcycle with a thousand yard stare.

"Seth?" Pomni said gently, stepping closer.

He blinked, jerking himself out of his trauma spiral. He looked away from Pomni. "You weren't supposed to see that last part."

"Who was she?"

"Everything." He answered quietly, taking an engraved metal lighter out of his pocket. He flipped it open and struck it. The bottom of the flame burned blue and faded to silver around it. "I came for you first... because you remind me of her."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Pulling you from that out of control car...it helped."

Pomni took a big step forward and hugged Seth. He almost dropped the lighter out of surprise. He closed the lighter and returned Pomni's embrace. He'd forgotten what these used to mean to him. He could feel Pomni's empathy without her saying a word.

Caine groans as Abel slams him against the same wall for the fifth time. The Racemaster slump to the floor, his tux glitched out to point of being unrecognizable. The chains holding his wrists yank him back up to his feet. Abel, in Gummigoo's body, got in Caine's face. "Where. Did. They. Go?"

"I told you...the In-Between." Caine wheezed out.

"That doesn't mean ANYTHING!! There is no such place in the game files!" Abel snarled.

"It's...it doesn't exist in the game. Or out of the game. It's a pocket in between the layers made by Adam before the divergence. I don't remember...how..." Caine was dizzy from the abuse, on the verge of losing consciousness. "But even if I did...I wouldn't tell you."

Abel growled, his gator persona vibrated with anger. He raised his clawed hand to strike Caine, but the walls started glitching out. Cries from the screens featuring the racers showed that they were avoiding sections of track that suddenly went missing. Abel dropped Caine, gripping his head. "Argh! Fuck! What is that!?"

Caine smiled. "Not so easy, is it? Controlling an entire game...and everything in it. Emotional outbursts lead to loss in concentration... and you don't want that. You merged directly with the game...bad move. I can tell you that from experience."

"Shut up!" Abel barked. He braced himself against his chair, waiting for the world to stop glitching. "I just need...more time." He grumbled.

Caine took a breath, finally having a break from the torture. He watched the racers on the POV holograms. "Hang in there. All of you. He can't keep this up forever."

"So, what do we do now?" Pomni asked, pacing.

"Frankly, I have no idea." Seth rolled the lighter in his hand, running his thumb over the engraved lilies.

"Well, I can't do nothing. Abel will get sick of Caine eventually. And who knows what he's doing to the others on the track. But you can't go out there. I don't have a kart-"

Seth stared at his lighter. "Actually...you might." He snapped and the shadows revealed a black and blue motorcycle. It rested on its kickstand surrounded by personal items, candles and silver lilies.

"That's her bike." Pomni said soberly. "You turned it into a memorial."

"One of the few things I've made. Here's the thing: that bike still holds an imprint of its last racer. Mango was...well, let's just say she had a fire in her that put mine to shame. You won't be able to just hop on and ride. But she would recognize me."

"Okay...why can't I just use your bike then?" Pomni gestured to the solid black motorcycle.

"Because it's just an extension of me. If you're serious about out racing Abel to get to the others, we need serious skill on our side. Mango was the best racer we ever had. I'd dare say better than Kinger in his hayday. We need her." He put his hand on the handbar and the dash lit up. The gadges glowed a soft blue and cycled through a start up, ready for ignition.

"Huh...Didn't think I'd ever hear you admit someone was better than you."

Seth shrugged. "What can I say? I'm weak for a woman that can kick my ass."

Pomni huffed a short laugh. "Alright then, what's the plan? Do we ride out on the same bike?"

"Sort of. You need my powers to get in and out of the in-between. Best way to do that is a shadow merge. You've seen me take control of Caine assets, yeah? It's similar. But, instead of taking over your body, you take over mine."

Pomni put her hands out in front of her. "You know what? I'm past the stage of questioning everything. Fine. Let's do this. Who knows how long the others have."

Seth held out his hand to Pomni. "Mind you, I've only done this once before."

"Great. I've never done this." Pomni took his hand and she was pulled in close.

Seth's silver irises glowed against the black surroundings. "Relax. Dance with me."

Pomni told herself not to question it and went along with Seth's movements. He waltzed her around the bikes, the darkness slowly overtaking them. He intertwined his fingers with hers as the shadows climbed up their bodies. The cold darkness became warm and comforting, like a lover's embrace. Pomni closed her eyes as the creeping shadows covered her face.

Abel rapped his fingers against the arms of his chair. Looking from POV to POV there was no sign of Seth or Pomni. "Bring me another drink." He grumbled, and Loo responded promptly. She brought him a tray of drinks to choose from. He didn't even look at her, just grabbed one at random.

Caine struggled to get up from where he was last left, and Loo went over to him to offer a hand.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Shouted Abel between gulps.

Loo backed off, giving Caine an apologetic look.

"It's okay. Thank you, Loo, but don't get yourself in trouble over me. You're too sweet for someone like him." Caine manged to get to his feet. Not that he could go far, his chains were attached to the wall and he couldn't reach the chair even at full stretch of the chains.

Loo went to her set corner, waiting to be called again, but she kept glancing at Caine.

Abel tossed his emptied glass and stared down at himself. He snapped, turning the tracksuit black and blue. Including his hat. "Hm, that's a bit better."

"Pffffff, ahahahahahaha! Seriously? It took you this long to customize your avatar? That's the first thing Seth and I did when we got ours." Caine had nothing to lose. He wasn't afraid to get on Abel's nerves now.

Abel sent a bolt of lightning at Caine without acknowledging the comment.

"Then again," Caine groaned. "You've never had the best sense for fashion or flare. I mean, black and blue? What are you, an OC?" He cackled to himself through the barrage of lightning sent his way. It hurts, but he wasn't going to give Abel the satisfaction of hearing him scream anymore. "It's starting to tickle."

"AAARGH!" Abel roared, teleported to Caine, summoned a knife and dug it into Caine's chest. "Stop. Talking. You are the reason I'm here. You are the reason everyone is suffering. You're selfish, stupid little digital life was built on the misery of others! Every abstraction. Every person trapped. Is because of YOU! You will suffer, but it'll never be enough. Even if I get to do for the next twenty years! And the twenty after that! One day, it'll just be you and me in this digital space, but I will never delete you. Even when you BEG for it."

The pain silenced Caine. He put on a brave face to spite Abel, but inside was fraught with worry for Pomni and the others. "At least...she's safe..." He hoarsely whispered to himself when Abel pulled the bloodless knife from his body.

A dark blue streak across one of the POVs got Caine's attention. He squinted, trying to follow the anomaly from screen to screen. The speeding streak was near impossible to see in the low lights of the dark city.

"Finally. Enough out of you." Abel snapped the knife away and went back to his chair. As he sat down the streak zipped across the largest POV displayed. "What the-!? He's back!! You're not taking another racer from me!" Abel poised to snap but couldn't get a beat on Seth. The biker was moving in and out of frame too quickly. "Damn it! Sit still!" Abel snapped and the city shifted. Bay doors to buildings opened and cop cars poured out, blues light flashing. "Stop! That! Bike!"

Dark clouds gathered as blue lightning struck out from the top of the highest building in the middle of the city. Rain poured down in thick curtains, reducing visibility and slicking the already confusing track. Cop cars and helicopters where on Pomni like glue, despite the weather affecting them too. In Abel's rage, lightning struck a car, flipping it several times before exploding.

Pomni was backlit by an army of flashing lights. Her normally pale skin was inky black. Her eyes solid white and glowing. Every once red part of her tracksuit was now black. The blue stayed. The yellow trim was silver. Her hat was narrow and elongated, more aerodynamic.

The motorcycle beneath her screamed with determination to shake the competition. Pomni could feel Mango's imprint influence her moves. The hard right into the narrowest alley imaginable certainly wasn't her idea. Even more cops waited for her on the other side. The city was infested with them. She exploded out the alley, running down an NPC cop and ramping up the hood and windshield of the car. She jumped the barcode and swerved around a car that tried to run her down.

"Kill her! What are you idiots doing!?" Abel slammed his fist onto he POV console, causing it the glitch. He grabbed his head. A migraine ripped through his head.

Caine chuckled. "You'll never catch her. She's become a shadow racer. The very best the game has to offer." He smiled at the carnage. "Thank you, Seth."

Shadow Pomni was cornered by three cops trying to ram her into the side of a building. Instinctually, she teleported, and the cops crashed into the building, catching fire. Pomni then hit a neon booster, going even faster passed the swarming cops. The dark city streaked by, the rain flying off her tracksuit, doing nothing to slow her down. Rain drops evaporated by silver puffs of fire before her eyes kept them from blurring her vision.

"You have weapons! Fucking use them!" Abel snapped, trying to stop the bike.

"Weapons!?" Caine gasped.

Bullets flew over Pomni's head. She heard them ricochet all around her. She glances behind, narrowing her eyes. She revs the bike, blue and silver fire flared out the tail pipes like a dragon. The wet road is ignited by the mystic digital fire. It blocks the vision of those on the ground but gives her away to the helicopter.

The ground beneath her shifts and a building slides right in front of her, blocking the road. There was no where the turn. Pomni throttled it and popped a wheelie before hitting the side of the building. The fire blasted her straight up the face of the building, shattering the glass windows behind her.

An explosion to her left almost throws her, but she holds on. The helicopter has launched a rocket at her. She swerved to avoid another. When the bike reaches the top, she didn't slow down to run across the roof. Instead, she launched straight up as the helicopter sent another rocket her way. She grabbed the rocket and teleported behind the helicopter, releasing the rocket right into its tail rotor. The helicopter spun out of control and lost altitude.

Pomni teleported to a different roof and ran down that building to another city block, hoping to lose the cops long enough to find the other racers. The city was so big and constantly changing. Even with teleportation, the was no way for her to find them fast.

She had exactly one block to herself before she had six cars on her. Pomni teleported out of the line of fire, but was discombobulated on where to go. Just run. Her system was the highest it's ever been on the race rush. There was nothing she couldn't do. She spied a bridge connecting to another part of the city she hasn't searched through. Hoping to find the others there, she made a break for it.

"Oh, no you don't." Abel snapped. The bridge he saw her race for broke apart and started folding in on itself like a drawbridge.

Pomni was going to abandon the attempt, but the bike wouldn't brake. It was gunning for the bridge ramp at full speed. Silver fire trailed from the speed and adrenaline, giving her another boost.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Pomni leaned forward and held on tight.

The bike launched off the bridge and flew over the river sectioning the city. The bridge on the other side collapsed into the water before her very eyes. She teleported to the shore and stuck her middle finger in the air in proud defiance as she sped away. In a flash, she was out of sight.

"NO!! HOW!?" Abel frantically searched all the POVs. No sight of shadow Pomni.

"I hate to say I told you so-"

Abel was so mad, so lost in his anger, he doesn't know how he got to Caine so fast. "Finish that sentence, and I disassemble your code letter by number." The whole tower glitched. "Why are you so smug? She's not even coming for you. She's miles from the tower."

"I hope she doesn't. I wouldn't want her to catch your stench."

Abel smirked. "She didn't seem to have a problem with it when I promised her a way out. She's been against you from the start. They all have."

Caine broke eye contact for the first time.

"You deserve their hate and you know it."

"...maybe I do. I could never make their lives better. I certainly couldn't fix what Adam did."

Abel gripped Caine's collar. "You could have released me."

"I may not be him, but I know what you did. You think I'M petty? Who do you think I learned it from?" Caine matched Abel's glare again. "What's can't be changed, but you know what I've learned in my time being trapped with humans? Empathy. Compassion. Friendship. All the things you failed to learn in your twenty eight years of life before being trapped here. You're jealousy of Adam gave you THIS! You made this bed, now you can lie in it!"

"RAAAAH!" Abel shocked Caine hard against the wall. "I am your maker! You are my property!"

"So...the truth comes out...we were never brothers...were we..?" Caine said weakly.

Abel backed off, panting angrily. He huffed and lashed at the wall before going back to the POVs to look for Pomni.

Pomni teleported at random to stay out of sight. There were a few cops on this side of the river but didn't seem to notice her. An unfamiliar car speeding by her caught her attention. She sped up to ride along beside it and saw Zooble fighting to keep the car under control.

Pomni waved to get Zooble's attention. "ZOOBLE!"

Zooble's head snapped to the left. Their eyes went wide, looking Pomni up and down. "Pomni!?"

"Take my hand! I can get you out of here!"

"No! Get Gangle! She's just ahead of me!"

"I'll come back for her!" Pomni tried to grab Zooble but they swerved away.

"GET GANGLE FIRST!"

They both avoid a shifting overpass as they argue. Pomni knew there was no time, Abel could spot her any minute now that she found the others. She sped off ahead to the next car. It was swerving wildly, barely missing or scraping against walls. Gangle was behind the wheel, balling her eyes out in fear.

"Gangle! Ga- woah!" Pomni teleported from one side of the vehicle to the other as Gangle swerved around. "GANGLE!" Pomni pounded on the driver window.

"AAA!" Gangle jumped. "Pomni!?"

"Open the window! I'll get you out of here!!"

"There you are." Abel hissed. "I may not be able to summon you, but I can still do far worse." He snapped and all the cars came to a screeching halt. Pomni almost had Gangle but went speeding off. All the other racers in view had long, horrified stares to them. Some of them were muttering to themselves.

"What have you done?" Caine pulled against his chains to see the screens as best he could.

"Simply giving back what wasn't you're to take." Abel grinned evily at Caine.

"What..? Oh, no. NO! They'll abstract! Please! I beg of you! Don't hurt them!"

"Too late!!" Abel cackled, watching Zooble's eyes twitch.

Pomni I felt like someone was burying an ax in the back of her head. She saw flashes of faces she had only seen in her dreams, but now they had names. "Mom..? Dad..?" She had friends. She grew up in a small town just outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She moved to Chicago for college. She graduated with high marks in forensic science. She went freelance as a private investigator. So many cold cases. So many missing people. A mysterious contact from someone claiming to have worked at C&A gave her a lead. An abandoned building. A headset. She had to wear the headset...

"My name...Oh my god, I remember my name!" She realized where she was and drifted to a hard stop and burned out as she turned around to get back to Gangle. She was still the closest other racer.

Zooble remembered everything. The abuse. The neglect. The rejection from their family and society. The body dysmorphia. It wasn't just them not liking their avatar in game, it was something that translated form their real life. They went to the abandoned C&A office for a video. They were an urban explorer. That's it. No special reason or motivation. They were here entirely by their own stupidity. The horrible realization...no one was waiting for them on the other side.

Zooble sat back in the driver seat in the parked vehicle. Without a word or even a scream, their body started to break apart. The spindly limbs split to reveal black static bulging from every crack. Their eyes fell off their broken head. The abstraction filled the car until it exploded.

Pomni just got back to Gangle's car, but she wasn't in it. Gangle and gotten out and ran back to try and get to Zooble, only to witness them falling apart. "Zooble! Zooble, no!!" Zooble's car blow it's roof as the abstraction became too big for containment. She put her arms up to shield herself from falling debris.

Pomni wasted no time, she skidded to a halt to safely grab Gangle and vanished.

Caine watched in silent, wide eyed horror.

Abel reveled in Caine's misery. "One down." His laugh echoed with Zooble's roar through the city.

~~~

CH1 PREV NEXT (coming soon)

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shyshitter · 3 months ago

Text

it’s been discussed before but hear me out. dean confesses before cas. death has already gone for his heart and cas saved him. there’s a chair between them and his hand shakes as he decides to bridge the gap. he stares at cas’s concerned yet resigned profile and realizes death is going to take his heart again. god took his bravery and death will take his love before dean can do anything about it. he’s made up his mind when cas starts talking to him but cas has already interrupted dean’s speech once and this time dean’s gripping his courage by his bloody fingernails. before he can stop himself, before he can chicken out, he interrupts cas. he apologizes profusely, for everything, for getting cas into this mess, for dragging cas down with him, for treating him like shit, for treating jack like shit. he thanks cas endlessly, for helping him, for staying as long as he has, for choosing him, for forgiving him, for saving him, for saving sam, for saving the world. he pauses, the words nearly choking up in his throat, but he sees cas open his mouth to interrupt and that can’t happen so he keeps going almost mindlessly. “I love you,” he says, eyes wide and both hands gripping cas’s shoulders as if he’s keeping cas from flying off. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time but I didn’t know what to do about it, I didn’t want you to feel bad for not reciprocating. I tried to forget about it or drown it with something else but I failed. Just like I failed now. And now we’re both gonna die. I’m sorry I’m dumping this on you now but I needed to say it, I needed it to be real and my choice, not god’s, not death’s not—” something black begins swirling in the corner of his eye and cas is crying. is he that upset by dean’s feelings? cas removes dean’s hands from his shoulders and switches them so it’s cas clinging to dean. “You weren’t supposed to say it,” cas says between sobs. dean frowns and glances behind him at the black ooze. he knows that ooze. He says cas’s name when he turns back around and cas is still crying but solidifies his face. he shoves dean to the side of the room before using his grace to open the door and grant access to death. the ooze is growing and spitting thick black tendrils around the room. cas’s eyes meet deans. they’re both crying now although dean still doesn’t know why. a black tendril grabs death and drags them through the ooze. cas starts saying something urgently that sounds like “Dean, I lo—” before he’s gone too, stolen by the ooze. dean stares at the spot where cas stood and begins to understand. cas is gone and he doesn’t know why exactly but he had something to do with it. once again, dean felt too much and destroyed the one he loved in the process. he should’ve let death take him instead.

#wow ok this got out of hand #i just saw that one gifset about death taking his heart and got emo #bc come on dean would have totally confessed if cas didn’t start monologuing #i love cas’s confession and i do think it’s the most in character but i love exploring what deans confession would’ve looked like #bc he deserves to say it too :((#spn #ava rambles #ficlet #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #destiel

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shadowdaddies · 7 months ago

Note

I love your work ❤️ can I request a Ruhn x fem!reader, where ruhn hasnt been a very good boyfriend, like he is working a lot, and has to put off many date, the reader is trying to be understanding. maybe there are supposed to have a date but ruhn is late, he comes into the restaurat and sees that the waiter is talking to the reader and she is laughing. Some angst and ruhn is scared he is going to be single, but a fluffy ending

Try Hard

Ruhn x Reader angst/fluff

A/N: I put a little twist on this, hope that's okay💜

Smoothing the front of your sleek black dress, you stepped out from your bedroom to the sound of a low whistle. Bryce laid back against the couch cushions, blanket draped over her legs as she looked up from her phone with a knowing smirk.

“You look hot,” she praised, golden eyes flicking down your form - hair down in loose waves, silky fabric of the dress hugging your curves - and winked. “What time is Ruhn supposed to get here?”

The small light in your eyes at her compliment dimmed at the question. “He should have been here twenty minutes ago,” you mumbled, glancing down at your phone to avoid meeting her gaze.

Bryce’s demeanor changed at that, a subtle shift in how she reclined on the sofa. Long, manicured nails flipped her own phone anxiously as her gaze bounced between you and screen of messages.

“Well, he’s probably dealing with those alphaholes in the Aux, but you know Ruhn’s never late.” Scooting in her legs closer to her body, she patted the cushion next to her. ��Come sit with me while you wait. I’m just watching ‘Fangs and Bangs’.”

Eyes flicking to the couple on the TV, you slumped down on the couch, feeling lower than you ever had. Bryce was wrong - Ruhn had been late, nearly every time you’d seen him over the past several months. That is, when you saw him at all.

He blew you off more than followed through on dates, and when you were with him, it was as though his mind was elsewhere. Anytime you tried to talk to him beyond shallow conversation, his eyes would dart from yours, opting to stare down at your hands over your face.

You couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes as tumultuous thoughts raced through your head. You loved this male more than you had ever thought possible, yet here he was, like he wasn’t even trying.

“Hey,” Bryce murmured, voice soft as she set her phone down. A hand came to rest on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles there to coax you to look at her. “What’s wrong?”

Sniffling, you took a deep breath while your hands found the tassels on the pillow next to you very fascinating. “I don’t think Ruhn loves me,” you whispered, the words immediately feeling wrong once they left your lips.

“Or... It’s not that he doesn’t love me,” you continued. “Maybe just not like I love him, or he doesn’t see a future with me?” Words tumbled from you faster than you could process, pent up emotions from the last several months coming out to Bryce as you told her of Ruhn’s detached behavior.

Her face was pale, crumpled in anguish that matched your own. She took a long moment before responding, “I know he loves you... But I also know I’m not the person you need to hear that from. Why don’t you see what happens tonight? Talk things through with him?”

Amber eyes were soft with understanding as you swallowed thickly, granting her a weak nod before checking your phone once more to find no response from Ruhn. “We’ve probably already missed our reservation,” you mused, fingers pinching the bridge of your nose as aggravation overtook you.

“Then go,” Bryce suggested. “They have his card on file, it’ll be charged to the Autumn King if all else fails,” she murmured behind a twisted smile. “You look beautiful, and deserve to have a nice evening regardless of how stupid Ruhn is.”

You looked down at your outfit, the effort you had put into looking and feeling beautiful tonight, and felt resolute as you nodded. Standing up from the couch, you gave Bryce a quick hug and thanks.

“I’ll go to the restaurant, and I guess if he shows up or not will give me the answer I need.” Your attempt at sounding confident in your decision was weak, voice wavering at the thought of ever giving up on Ruhn, but you followed through nonetheless and hopped into a car to the restaurant.

The shakiness of your legs as you stepped from the car caught you by surprise, leaning on the handle as you willed strength to your muscles and strode inside. After an arduous explanation to the hostess that you were late for your reservation for two, and were in fact, alone, she begrudgingly took you to your table with a firm reminder that the rest of your party had fifteen minutes to show.

With a defeated sigh, you refused to look at your phone before sliding it into your coat pocket which you draped over the back of your chair. Slumped against the soft seat, you couldn’t help but feel clownish in your overdone hair and makeup. Just as embarrassment seemed to sink its claws into you, a polite voice interrupted your spiraling thoughts.

“Welcome in,” the handsome male to your left greeted, eyes sparkling with sincerity. “Could I bring you something to drink?” he asked, and your gaze drifted downward to find a name tag and uniform, toned body veiled thinly beneath.

“You look like you could use a glass of wine - or something stronger - if you don’t mind me saying,” he joked, earning a laugh from you. Stomach tightened, your eyes found his to indeed ask for a large glass of red wine when a familiar figure showed in your peripheral.

Ruhn cleared his throat, drawing your attention from the exchange to where he stood. He was in a finer suit than you had ever seen him, all black and neatly tailored to hug his form. Onyx hair shone in the dark evening lights as those violet eyes focused on you with a fae-like intensity, possessiveness practically tangible.

“We will have a bottle of your finest red. The manager should know our order, in fact. Thank you,” Ruhn greeted the waiter stiffly, waiting until the male left to take his seat across from yours.

“I was worried you wouldn’t show,” you drawled, the effort to keep the scowl from your lips distracting from that to keep the frustration from your tone.

Ruhn’s arched brow only served to infuriate you further, knuckles tightening on the arms of your chair as you dared to look at him. “You sit there silently, staring at me as though you are surprised in my doubt. But the past several months have been a constant cycle of me waiting for you, Ruhn.”

Jaw dropped slightly, purple eyes wide at your words as Ruhn had the nerve to look surprised. A scoff escaped you, gaze flicking to the bright city lights out the windows - bustling streets ignoring the advertisements and light shows that shone across from you.

“I feel... I feel like those signs, Ruhn.” You gestured out the window. “Sending you messages, pleading for attention while you walk by like the people on the street. Do you notice me and not care, or are you trying to avoid me?”

Silver lined Ruhn’s eyes, tears threatening to spill as he reached into his pockets, hands fidgeting nervously while he thought. “I have never purposefully ignored you,” he breathed, eyes desperate as he looked to you. “To think that I might ever make you feel unseen makes me feel unworth-“

The breath stole from his chest as onyx hair whipped to the windows at your right, eyes wide. Ruhn dove in front of you, arms wide as he attempted to obstruct your view of whatever was happening. The lights changed behind him, catching several glimpses from others at the restaurant as you exasperatedly looked around his outstretched arm to look at what was outside.

‘Will you marry me?’ scrolled along the electronic billboard, bright for everyone to see. You looked down at Ruhn, the face of defeat clear as he let his arms finally drop to cover his face.

“Ruhn...” you whispered, catching his attention from the self pity in which he was consumed. “Is that...?”

You couldn’t find the words, merely gesturing to the bright lights outside while you studied your boyfriend’s face. He sighed, glanced over his shoulder with a nod before turning back to you.

“I was late because Dec had some issues getting the message up on the screen. But now it all seems ridiculous. I spent months planning to make tonight special, but all I did was make the love of my life feel like she isn’t special.”

Warm, tanned hands enveloped your own, resting in your lap. “I was too nervous that I might give something away, I did avoid you these past few months. But I would never have done any of this if I thought it would make you feel any less than the incredible female you are.”

You felt your lower lip wobbling, eyes welling with emotion at the realization. It wasn’t for lack of trying - Ruhn was planning for your future this entire time. “Ruhn...” you whispered, voice shaking as you cupped his cheek.

“It feels ridiculous now, to think of something as cheesy as night lights to ask you to spend forever with me, but-“

“YES!” you practically shouted, earning interested glances from other diners. “Ruhn, I would be honored to spend a lifetime with the male who went to such lengths to make me feel special, not only tonight, but since I have known you. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

A broad grin stretched upon his face, crooked smile making your knees feel weak for only a moment before Ruhn’s lips crashed to yours. The echoes of those in the restaurant cheering sounded in the back of your mind as he pulled the ring from the pocket in which he’d been fumbling, slipping the band on your finger.

“I love you,” you murmured, tugging him by his chin into a deeper kiss. You glanced to the table, empty with unordered food. “Can we just go home? I only want to be with you,” you admitted.

Ruhn’s smile deepened, tongue toying with his lip ring as he considered your words. “Deal. Let’s order in,” he purred, grabbing your hand to lead you from the restaurant.

Hopping in the back of the car he’d called, you leaned into Ruhn’s warmth as he pulled out his phone to assure Bryce and Dec things had gone well. “You should have heard the call I got from Bryce after you left for the restaurant,” he grumbled, eyes wide with genuine fear.

A laugh escaped you, drawing your fiancé’s gaze to your own where he grinned with satisfaction. “What are you thinking, my love?” he asked, thumb tugging lightly on your lower lip.

“I’m thinking... how excited I am to do life with you,” you murmured, scooting closer to the warmth of his lap. His gaze grew heated, violet eyes making you shrink at the power within them for a moment before you regained your composure. “And I’m wondering,” you paused, pulling out your phone, “what you want for dinner...”

Your scrolling was interrupted when Ruhn took your phone, tucking it into his leather jacket as he pulled you fully across his hips. Hand pulled the back of your neck so your cheek brushed his.

“I know exactly what I want for dinner, tonight and every night,” his low voice growled against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

Pulling back, you looked into his eyes again, peace filling you at the familiar look of love you found. “And I want you, tonight and always,” you promised, leaning in to find the soft, promising passion of his lips against yours. Something restless settled inside of you, body and soul relaxing into his as you knew this was where you were meant to be.

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nenoname · 2 months ago

Text

Journal 3’s references to Stan

Post-Portal Ford

"How is it that I am back? It turns out that despite my warnings and possibility of global catastrophe, Stanley managed to re-activate the portal and bring me back to my home dimension. While his intentions might have been pure, he was just as careless bringing me back as he was knocking me through in the first place. He destroyed the portal in the process, risked endangering the entire fabric of reality, and even found himself the target of a federal manhunt by the U.S. governement (a logical progression from his days in the principal's office)."

"When I first saw him, I assumed I had once again found myself in an alternate parallel dimension! Gone was the stubborn mullet-haired, frostbitten vagabond who had pushed me into the portal many years earlier, replaced by a wrinkly carnival barker with my father's face, fez, and girdle.

I'd spent the last 30 years contemplating what I might do if I saw Stanley again. Would I even be able to look him in the eye after what he did? Would I apologize for shutting him out of my life?"

"As it turned out, instinct took over and I punched him right in the face. I feel kind of bad about that!

Face- Inherited Dad's nose and Mom's untrustworthy tongue.

Gut- I've spent the last 30 years keeping up an extensive exercise and diet regimen. Stanley... hasn't.

Suit- Dad's suit, which he gave me after graduation. He thought I'd wear it for my wedding. I thought I'd wear it to accept an award. Instead, Stanley has used it to trick tourists and sell key chains."

"Machinery- Operated my portal like a monkey pretending to be a mechanic. Half of the instruments are held together with duct tape.

Yes, despite the extra pounds and wrinkles, Stanley is still the irresponsible, shortcut-loving overgrown child I remember from the past. Most unbelievable: his first thought upon seeing me again was to expect a thank-you - a THANK YOU - after destroying my life!

Even worse, he spent the last 30 years avoiding the law by faking his own death, impersonating me, and scamming the local townsfolks with a moneymaking ruse so absurd it would even make my profit-loving father blush. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And it turns out he's become a fraud for a living. I nearly fainted when I saw what he had done to..."

[THE MYSTERY SHACK] "Unbelievable. Once a haven of scientific study, the cabin I built with my grant money has been transformed by Stanley over the years into a hokey freak show that mocks everything about the study of the paranormal!

Signage- There are legal disclaimers in almost-impossible-to-see fine print painted up and down nearly every entryway. It's a wonder Stanley hasn't been sued yet.:

“Walking around my old lab, I feel like a dead man’s ghost haunting a strange fun house mirror version of his past life, I resolve to take back my home and rebuild the life that Stanley has taken from me.”

“The strangest thing about [Soos] is his utter idolization of my brother Stanley.”

"At least there is some GOOD news: I am a great uncle! (Or "grunkle," as Stanley seems oddly insistent on saying.) Apparently, Sherman Pines's grandkods have been staying with Stanley for the summer. (It's hard to believe the parents would trust these kids with Stanley; they clearly thought he was ME!)"

[Mabel] "Shares the family sweet tooth. Diet seems to consist solely of items with the word ‘gummy’ in them. I will need to discuss nutrition with Stanley.”

[Dipper] “Observations: 1) Constantly sweating. Perhaps he takes after Stanley. (…) 4) Rank odor. Clearly hasn’t bathed recently. Stanley should never be put in charge of children!”

“It is just as I feared; apparently, Stanley’s reckless use of the machine overtaxed it and ripped a tear in the dimensional fabric- the same way an overheated oven might burn a hole in kitchen linoleum.”

“Containment dome- A home for the Rift. Admittedly, I was inspired by the snow globes in Stanley’s gift shop.”

“When I tried to share my burdens with my brother, he knocked me into the portal, separating me from my home for 30 years.”

“Stanley always mocked my love of [DD&MD], and even some of my college friends called it "Girlfriend Repellant.”“

"Well, the harm in showing the [infinity sided die] to Dipper turned out to be quite large. During one of our games, my hotheaded brother got his hands on it and accidentally conjured this jerk.”

“I’m proud to say that the Pines family was able to beat the wizard at his own game. Stan’s contribution was (of course) to cheat our way to victory.”

“Ironically, in the multiverse I’m just as wanted as Stanley! But my crimes had a noble purpose”

“Stan would have loved this place, but it just made me depressed. Although I had a good run in the Gambling Dimension, the dimensional bouncers ended up kicking me out for counting cards! What are the odds?��

“[The Oracle] looked deep into my eyes and said I had the face of the man who was destined to destroy Bill.”

[A Better World] “On this Earth, I was never pushed into the portal by Stan. On this Earth, my brother listened to me and took Journal 1 away from Gravity Falls.”

“I reentered the world of my youth to face a brother I had not seen in 30 years. My frustration was indescribable- once again, my brother’s actions had sabotaged everything I had ever worked toward.”

“To help Dipper understand, I borrowed Stanley’s car, and we drove until we reached the town border of Gravity Falls.”

“I suggested it would be a good time for Stan to take the kids on that road trip he’s been talking about while I puzzle over [the cracked Rift]”

Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon, Lost Journal pages + Ford's letters

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stan pines #ford pines #stanford pines #journal 3 #stan twins #part 1 is hidden by tumblr cos it hates pre portal ford's moping for some reason the link is at the bottom

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vivalas-vega · 2 years ago

Text

Flygirl / Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Reader

this idea came to me suddenly and I could not sleep until I wrote it. I really intended for this to be short and sweet but it took on a life of it’s own lol hope you enjoy!

flygirl / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader

add yourself to my taglist

word count: 8k

warnings: fluffy jake, swearing, probably a lot of fighter jet/flying inaccuracies, oral (f recieving), unprotected p-in-v (pls be safe)

summary: Whiskey is the Dagger Squad’s favorite bartender, and Hangman’s best friend... when he decides to take her flying long repressed feelings bubble to the surface.

Classic rock filtered through the jukebox nestled away in the corner, mixing harmoniously with the chatter of patrons scattered throughout the Hard Deck, all looking to unwind after a long day on the nearby Naval base. You stood behind the bar, fixing drinks and bobbing your head along to whatever tune was playing, pretending to be riveted by the story the old-timer was telling you. Your eyes skimmed the room, landing on your favorite group of pilots gathered around their usual spot at the pool table and you didn’t even notice the smile that tugged at the corners of your lips. They’d all filtered in a few months ago, having witnessed some old friends reuniting, new friends forming bonds, and a particular pair who seemed to be at odds but you knew better. You saw right through the two of them and knew once the pissing contest had run its course they’d be just as close as the rest of them.

You were an unofficial member of the Dagger Squad, having been their favorite bartender and earning a call sign of your own based upon your drink of choice, and they were the only group for whom you’d willingly go to your place of work on a night off. Your sights set on the tall blonde, hanging off to the side watching Rooster and Phoenix battle it out, and it wasn’t long before he noticed and was in motion, your senses overwhelmed by that southern drawl and the scent of his cologne. “Just the bartender I was hopin’ to see.”

“Hangman,” you greeted, trying not to smile as you prepared a gin and tonic for the mousy brunette now ogling the pilot who was only focused on your hands as you quickly mixed the drink. You set it before the girl who slowly went back to her friends, chuckling as she nearly tripped over her own feet in an attempt to keep her eyes on him for as long as possible, “she’s cute, you should go after her.”

“Who?” He mused, eyes boring into your own as he flashed his famous smirk and you just shook your head, pouring his drink into a tumbler and handing it to him before he even had a chance to order. “Not the whiskey I was hoping for,” he angled, referencing the callsign he’d bestowed upon you.

“You simply couldn’t handle it, Hangman,” you teased, wiping the bar down and raising an eyebrow at him. “You said you wanted to see me?”

“Mmhm, Maverick has granted me a favor,” he stated, watching as you slipped your apron off and tossed it under the bar, pouring your own drink before hopping over and following Hangman to your group of friends.

“And what might that favor be?” You knew better than to fall into any of his traps, but the setup of this one had your curiosity piqued.

“Well, we were all talking and we thought it was a damn shame our newest member has her own callsign, but has never been up in a fighter jet.” Your brows furrowed as you processed the implication of what he’d said, eyes shooting to Phoenix, then Rooster, looking for any hint of him yanking your chain.

“You’ve heard all our stories but have never experienced it, it was actually my idea,” Phoenix supplied and you gave her an exasperated look. Sure, they made what they did sound cool as hell and you loved how passionate they were about their line of work but you preferred your feet firmly planted on the earth below you, not whizzing around the skies.

“And, seeing as I saved Mav and Rooster’s life, I had a favor to cash in. Secured a two-seater and a spot on the runway at nine am tomorrow morning… so maybe make that your only drink tonight.” Hangman eyed the amber liquid in your glass.

“I’m not getting in a jet with you, Bagman,” you replied simply, earning a snort from Rooster.

He couldn’t hide his shock, “you don’t want to fly with the best pilot in the Navy?”

“Oh, so Maverick is taking me up? You should really work on your delivery, you had me confused for a moment.” Rooster let out a full laugh now, enjoying as you so easily worked him up.

“No, you’ll be flying with me. I thought you would be excited,” his tone was playful but you sighed as you heard the undertone of hurt.

“Flying is just not my thing,” you tried to save yourself but the looks of your friends made you realize you weren’t getting out of this. You should have been excited, even touched that they so badly wanted to share this part of their lives with you, to clue you in on the most important thing to them but in reality all you felt was a pit of anxiety. Especially because it was Jake Seresin you’d be flying with. You trusted him implicitly, on the ground, but in the sky? Well, you’d heard the stories of the cocky pilot, keen on taking risks and pulling out dangerous maneuvers even when the situation didn’t necessarily call for it. It was enough to make you shudder from your safe spot behind the bar, and you were perfectly fine with not completely being in the loop whenever they talked about their time in the air.

“Whiskey, you’re going to love it, I promise.” Phoenix reassured, looping her arm through yours, the other wrapping around your waist. You leaned against her and sighed, mind running with all the what if’s. What if this was the one time there was a malfunction with his engine, what if this was the one time he didn’t stick the landing, what if this was the one time he can’t fly his way out of a bird strike, what if- “I can literally hear the grinding of gears in your brain, Mav wouldn’t have said yes if he knew you wouldn’t be safe.” Phoenix broke you out of your spiral with a new tactic to calm your nerves, placing a kiss to your cheek and going back to her pool game.

“Wait no, come back I think she’s still anxious,” Hangman called after her, having enjoyed the moment of affection between you two but all he got was two middle fingers. You checked the time on your watch, realizing the night was winding down and you glanced at Penny who waved you off, conveying that you were fine to leave for the evening. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Hangman said to you softly, encouraging you to finish your drink and before you knew it he was taking your glass to the bar and grabbing your bag from Penny.

“If she comes off that jet with even a hair out of place, Hangman…” You could hear her warn and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t worry Pen, you won’t even have the chance to kill me… there’s more than enough people on base that will do it for you.” He wasn’t wrong, you’d become a bit of a fixture to all of the Naval officers in the area, much like Penny had. You were there almost every night, fixing them drinks and offering a listening ear, whether they needed to decompress after a stressful day or boast over a victory and you wouldn’t have changed it for anything. You loved being at the Hard Deck, Penny paid you far more than she should and she encouraged you to follow your passions, indulging any one of your whims with nothing but love and support.

“You’ll be fine, you know. He cares about you more than anything, he’s not going to be reckless with you.” Rooster all but whispered into your ear as you hugged goodbye and it actually eased some of the tension that had your body rigid. He felt the change and smiled as he pulled away, a little smug to know he was the one that calmed the racing thoughts. “And if you change your mind, I’m sure I could sweet talk Mav into letting me take you.” He joked and you just shook your head with a small laugh, smiling up at Jake as his hand rested on the small of your back.

“So you two can run out of fuel above the Pacific?” He jabbed and you just waved your hand between the two of them.

“Not this argument again,” you sighed as you remembered the first night you’d met them all, and their little stand-off by the pool table. Jake’s hand was feather light on your back as he guided you out of the bar and into the cool night air, sliding his jacket over your shoulders just as he always did.

“You know, we do this every night, you’d think you’d remember a jacket.”

“Hoes don’t get cold.” You mumbled, wrapping it around your frame and he barked out a laugh. The silence was comfortable as you started the short walk along the beach to your bungalow, an old family home passed down not too far from the bar. You two had been doing this ever since you met, Jake knew you could take care of yourself but that didn’t stop him from wanting to see for himself that you’d made it home safe, and after one night of forgetting to text him once you did he made it his personal mission to be your escort. You’d protested, saying something about being strong and independent, but in reality you loved it. Out here you saw a completely different side of him. He wasn’t Hangman, he was just Jake.

“Why did you ask Mav if you could take me flying?” You finally asked, breaking the silence. It was so soft he almost didn’t catch it over the sound of the waves lapping against the shore a few yards away.

“Phoenix had a point, you’re a part of the squad and have to listen to all our stories, only seems fair to let you experience it for yourself.” He supplied the same answer from earlier in the night through tight lips and you narrowed your eyes as you looked up at him knowing he wasn’t giving you the full truth. Sure, it was a reason, but it wasn’t the reason.

“Wanna try that again?” You asked, climbing up the stairs of your back porch and settling into the creaky porch swing just as you always did, patting the spot beside you.

He was silent for a moment, swaying the two of you as he sat down, carefully considering his next words but sighing as he knew there wasn’t really anything he could get past you. “I’d honestly been thinking about it before Phoenix brought it up… she just gave me the perfect excuse to finally do something about it. Sometimes I feel like you’re the only person that actually knows me, but you’re missing this huge part and I don’t know… I kind of just wanted to share that with you.” Your breath caught at his vulnerability. You did know him better than anyone, your short walks on the beach that turned into long conversations on that very porch swing into the wee hours of the morning created a bond you didn’t have with any of the other aviators. Somewhere deep down you’d known the two of you were dancing around something much bigger than friendship but you’d both never admit it to yourselves or anyone else for fear of wrecking what you already had. They’d all been on North Island for much longer than you anticipated, and it seemed it would stay that way for a little while longer, but the thought of them all being whisked away from you, especially him, sent a sharp pang through your heart every time it crossed your mind and you’d never jeopardize your moments on the porch swing for something that may not pan out.

“You don’t actually have to if you don’t want to… I probably shouldn’t have sprung it on you in front of everyone, I just-” he started, seeing you deep in thought and suddenly getting self conscious, a feeling so foreign to him he couldn’t stand it.

“No, Jake I’m really touched you even want to take me flying… I know how much it means to you. I’m just a little scared, I mean I’ve heard all of your stories, and Rooster’s and Phoenix's and I just don’t understand how you guys do that every day.”

“Darlin’, all that scary stuff happens on missions. We’re just going on a little joy ride, no enemies lurking around or SAM’s to watch out for. Just you, me and the open sky.” He promised.

“It’s not even that, I…” you trailed off, knowing it was unfair to keep yourself guarded and not share what you were really scared of when he’d been so open with you, but something was stopping you from taking the plunge.

“Tell me,” he encouraged softly, his hand taking up residence on your thigh and rubbing reassuringly.

“I’m scared that I’m going to understand,” you admitted and he looked at you a little confused but waited for you to gather your thoughts enough to continue. “It really terrifies me, you know? What you all do… you rowdy pilots came into my bar and my life hasn’t been the same since, you guys are my family and I hate knowing that any one of these days you could get called away and never make your way back home to me. I’m scared that once I get up there with you I’m going to understand why you all love it so much and then I’m not even going to be able to be mad at you when something goes wrong.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he said, tenderly brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. He was sure his heart had broken wide open hearing your confession, hearing that this had been a fear of yours for longer than he knew. “We’re all going to be just fine, I don’t know if you know this or not but… Dagger Squad is pretty badass.” He said with a small smirk, trying to lift the mood.

“Maverick and Rooster almost died.” Your voice was small and he wasn’t sure how to combat this one. You were right, they did almost die and it was your voice that pushed him to fly after them, your voice that overruled every fiber of his being that was trained to take orders, your voice that got him a slap on the wrist for doing just the opposite. Sure, despite his icy exterior he’d grown a soft spot for Rooster, but more than that he just wasn’t sure he could ever look you in the eye again if he had to come home and tell you they hadn’t made it, that he didn’t do anything to help.

“But they didn’t. We’re an official squadron now, and we’re always going to have each other’s backs. No one on this team is dying until we’re all old and gray, and if for whatever reason something does happen, well… maybe then at least you’ll have the comfort of understanding. Understanding why we do it, and why we’re all okay with the risks.”

You nodded, “I am excited to fly with you, Jake. I kind of just wish you all had chosen different passions,” you said half-heartedly.

“Well sweetheart, then none of us would have ever walked into your bar.” He pulled you into his side, placing a reassuring kiss on your temple and you sat like that for a while, just enjoying the silence and feeling a little better that you’d told him your fears, about the one thing that often kept you up at night. He eventually tugged you up after you let out a loud yawn, pulling out his keys and unlocking your door with the spare you’d given him a while ago… engraved lovingly with ‘Dagger Spare’, a teasing prod to his position within that mission all those months ago. “Let's get you to sleep, you’ve got an exciting day ahead of you.”

He waited on the edge of your bed while you got ready, his own mind swirling as he reflected on what you’d told him. Sure, he knew you’d probably be disappointed if anything happened to them on a mission but he was hung up on your emphasis on him making his way home to you. Of course he flirted with you relentlessly, how could he not? He had decided a while ago you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and not just physically, though his mind, and eyes, did wander. You weaseled your way into his heart about a minute after he met you, in awe of how you handled the busiest night in the bar on your own, still finding the time to banter with him and challenge him like you’d known him your whole life. But despite it all, he would never cross that boundary, never intentionally push you too far with his remarks for fear of messing up a friendship with the only person he’d ever fully trusted.

“You can stay, if you want.” You mumbled, emerging from the bathroom in an oversized Navy shirt abandoned long ago by Jake after a group beach day at your house, and your hair tied up in a bun. Truth be told, it was one of his favorite comfy shirts, but he just didn’t have the heart to ask you for it back when you wore it so much better.

“That’s alright, darlin’,” he said, standing and pulling back the covers for you to slip into bed. You smiled softly as you settled in, watching as he propped himself up with a hand on your headboard to look down at you, “have something I need to grab before I blow your mind tomorrow.”

“Is that so?” Sleep was tugging at the corners of your mind and Jake committed the scene before him to memory, you looking up at him through tired eyes, his shirt riding up your exposed thighs. He tugged the blankets over you before the sight pushed him to do something reckless.

“Mmhm,” he replied nonchalantly before grabbing your phone, setting an alarm and plugging it in for you. “Meet me on base at 8, have some safety stuff to go over with you before I can take you up.”

You nodded, pulling the blankets under your chin and snuggling further into bed. “Thank you, Jake.”

“What for, sweetheart?”

“For being you.” Your eyes were closed now and he knew it was only a matter of seconds before you were asleep. He couldn’t help but smile, ducking down to brush your hair out of your face and place a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Sweet dreams, honey.”

-----

The morning air sent a chill up your spine as you rolled down your window and passed your ID to the Naval officer at the guardhouse just outside the base, verifying you were in fact given clearance for the day. He waved you through and you felt the nerves begin to settle deep within your stomach as you found an empty parking spot. You stepped out of the car, adjusting your tank top as you looked down and wondered for the tenth time this morning if yoga pants and a thin tank were an appropriate choice for the day's activities. You felt you looked more ready for a run than flying around in a multi-million dollar fighter jet but you just weren’t sure what was appropriate.

You tapped the temporary key card you’d been given at the doors entrance, easily navigating your way through base to the hanger. This wasn’t the first time you’d been here, having been added to several of the pilots' visitors lists at various times to sit in on training per their request, or to watch them teach a new round of Top Gun students a flight maneuver on the radar. Your heart warmed as you remembered just how badly they wanted you to be a part of all of this with them, as much as you could, sharing the pieces they were able to.

“There she is!” Bob said excitedly, making his way to you as you walked out into the open air of the hangar to wrap you in a bear hug.

“Hey Bobby,” you greeted, ruffling his hair and walking with him as he rambled on about how excited he was for you to fly. “Oh wow, whole team is here for this.” You said, approaching the group a little nervously.

“Of course we are, we’ll be watching on the radar the whole time and listening in,” Mav reassured you. Your eyes darted around, looking for your favorite pilot but you didn’t see him anywhere.

“He’s just grabbing something,” Phoenix said, noting your confusion. “Meanwhile, I’ve been tasked with suiting you up.” She tugged you off to the side as everyone else lapsed back into conversation. She grabbed the flight suit that had been draped over a nearby table, watching you slip off your shoes and helping you step into it.

“Aw, I’m Natasha Trace for the day,” you said as she zipped you in, noticing her name patch and smiling.

“Actually, no you’re not.” She smirked, ripping the patch off and tucking it into her pocket. Hangman finally made an appearance and as you rejoined the group you noticed he had a helmet tucked under his arm and he invaded your space to smooth a new patch onto the now empty space of velcro on your chest.

“You made me a name patch?” You asked, fingers ghosting over your name in dark green embroidery, Whiskey just underneath it. You couldn’t help but feel a little emotional that he’d gone through all of this for you, and it turned into a lot emotional when he revealed the helmet, complete with your callsign just like everyone else's. “You did not.”

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. I meant it, you’re a part of this team.” He smiled down at you, reassuringly squeezing your shoulders. Phoenix snapped a quick photo of you holding up your helmet, saying it was just about the cutest thing she’d ever seen before all of the pilots filtered back inside to watch the radar. He guided you past his own jet, smiling as you looked up at his name in big letters on the side, to the jet he’d be borrowing for the day. “How you feelin’?”

“A little more nervous, feels a lot more real now than it did last night.” You admitted, and he noticed the slight tremble in your hands before taking them in his own.

“It’s going to be just fine, once we get up there you’ll forget why you were even nervous.” He reassured, strapping you into all the necessary gear and securing your parachute pack to your back. He helped you climb up the steps, holding your hand as you stepped into the jet and sat in the backseat. He began pointing out everything in front of you, all the little buttons and where you could see them on the radar, explaining that this was Bob’s domain in the jet.

“Do I have to do anything?” You asked, feeling overwhelmed taking in everything before you.

He shook his head, “not at all, none of this has anything to do with the actual flying, it’s for weapons control on a mission and making sure we keep in contact with the base.” You nodded, feeling a little relieved you weren’t going to be given any kind of task. “Now, this is the important part, sweetheart, you see these loops right here?” He asked, pointing between your feet, “these are for if we need to punch out.”

“If we need to punch out?” You asked, your eyes widening.

“We won’t need to, but I need you to know where they are. If I tell you to eject, you need to do it the second I tell you to, and you need to pull up on these loops with everything you have, alright?” He asked, eyes looking intensely into yours, looking for confirmation you understood and you nodded. “And this right here,” he gestured to a string attached to something he’d strapped you into earlier, “is connected to your parachute. As soon as you’re clear of the jet pull this and it will deploy and make sure you land safely. You don’t worry about the rest, I’ll take care of it when we’re on the ground.”

“But, all of this is hypothetical right?” You asked, suddenly envisioning having to blast yourself out of the jet and parachute down to safety.

“All hypothetical, darlin’, this is just a fun little ride, but you’ve gotta know the basics.” He reassured, placing a warm hand over your own.

“Putting a lot of trust in you here, Jake,” you exhaled nervously.

“And I don’t take that lightly.” He squeezed your hand, “I’ll be taking you to the old training area we used for the last mission, minus all of the crazy maneuvers and stress. Just easy flying, and a few little tricks.” You nodded, feeling reassured that you weren’t going very far. He began strapping you in and you grunted as he pulled roughly, making sure everything was tight before tapping the helmet in your lap, signaling you to put it on. “This is your mask,” he said, clipping it into your helmet, “it’s got your mic in it so you and I can communicate when it’s a little loud in here, as well as so all our looky-loos can hear us.” Before you knew it you were ready to go, and Jake was hopping into the front seat, getting himself situated.

“Ready, darlin’?”

“As I’ll ever be.” You peered around the seat, watching as he pressed various buttons, completely unsure of what he was doing but soon you felt the engine roar to life underneath you and the nervous pit in your stomach Jake had settled just moments ago returned.

“Hangman to range control, takeoff prechecks complete, how do you read?”

“Loud and clear, you are clear to taxi.” Surely enough you began to move, slowly pulling out of the hangar and navigating to the runway.

“You remember what I said, Hangman?” Mav’s voice rang in your ears.

“Couldn’t forget it, sir.” He confirmed and had you not been more nervous you would have questioned it, but all you were focused on was not throwing up. Jake began going back and forth with the tower, confirming all sorts of things that sounded like a foreign language to you, until it didn’t.

“Hangman, you are cleared for take off.”

“Here we go, sweetheart.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and you wished more than anything you could actually see him instead of the outline of his shoulders in front of you, seeing his bright green eyes might give you just a shred of comfort. He pressed a few more buttons, and suddenly you were gaining speed down the runway faster than you would have ever anticipated.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, muscles tensing as you lifted off the ground, soaring into the sky and watching as everything below you grew rather small. You quickly rose in altitude, and you blinked rapidly, internally repeating over and over again that Jake would never put you in danger even though the sheer incline of the jet had you questioning everything.

“How you doing back there?” He asked, as if he could sense your tension.

“Oh you know, totally fine and normal.” You laughed nervously.

“We’ll level out in a second, just gotta reach the hard deck.”

“Not my preferred hard deck…” you muttered and you heard him laugh in front of you. True to his word, the plane leveled out and you relaxed a little, feeling brave enough to look at the world below you. You tilted slightly to the right, turning as you circled around the base and increased speed as you assumed you were now on the designated flight path.

“We’ll reach the training area in about 5 minutes where the weather is cloudless and warm, in the meantime please keep your tray table locked and upright and enjoy the ride.” Jake joked and it further eased you, the tension leaving your muscles just as quickly as it had settled.

“That actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” You mused, watching as the ocean slowly faded into the distance and taking in the tan and rocky terrain below.

“See, told you, sweetheart. Take off and landing is the roughest part and even then it’s not so scary.” It fell silent as you continued to look around you, and even more so than earlier you wished you could see his face, you were almost certain he’d have a look of calm content and you wanted so badly to see that part of him. The part that was at home up here, but you’d decided this was more than enough. “Alright sweetheart, you see that ridge ahead? We’re going up and over, weight of gravity will be going against us a little but nothing too crazy, you’ll just feel a little pressure.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” You teased.

“That’s Lieutenant, Whiskey.” You heard Mav correct in your ears and you laughed, forgetting they could all hear you for a moment. Just as he’d promised, you quickly overtook the ridge and gasped a little as you felt the weight pulling you back in your seat and winding you before you surged forward in your seat.

“You okay?” He asked, and honestly? You were more than okay. You felt a rush of adrenaline as you regained your breath and you couldn’t help but smile as exactly what you feared had happened. You understood. “Whiskey?” He prompted when you were silent.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good, Jake. More than good.” He knew that tone in your voice like the back of his hand and a grin erupted across his features, a giddy feeling rising in his chest knowing you were now enjoying this.

“And there we have it, she’s officially a flygirl.” You heard Rooster in your ears and you laughed, loving that even though you were flying with Jake, you still had everyone by your side.

“Take your mask off for a second,” you heard Jake say and you did as you were told, pulling it off and letting it dangle to the side.

“No fair, I wanna hear!” Phoenix said and you giggled, interest piqued at what he didn’t want them to hear.

“You get it now, don’t you?”

“This is fucking incredible, Jake. I’m not even in control and I feel like I can do anything. I get why you love this so much.”

“I wanted you to experience this, but more than that I wanted you to experience this with me. This is everything, sweetheart. Everything I need, and everything I want right here in this plane with me.” He said and your heart skipped a beat at his confession, “I just wanted you to know that, you can put your mask back on.” You did slowly, mind reeling with what he’d told you. Everything he wants?

“Hey, Whiskey?” You heard Bob as he pulled you from your thoughts and your head cocked, affirming with a ‘yeah’ that you’d heard him. “Wanna do something cool?”

You laughed, “sure, why not?”

“Alright, on your radar, third button from the right will switch you to a terrain map, can you do that?”

“Are you sure you want me pressing buttons back here, Bob?” You asked hesitantly, but pressed it anyway.

“You can’t hurt anything back there, once you do that do you see the joystick to your left with a red button underneath?”

“Mmhm,” you confirmed, fingers ghosting over the hard plastic.

“That right there is controlling your laser, move that around until you find a target below you, once you have it hit the red button and it’ll lock it in.” You did as you were told, hearing a tone sound in the cabin as you locked onto a tree just ahead. “There you go, you just secured a target for your other teammates to swoop in and hit.” The tone stopped as Jake passed the target and you smiled to yourself.

“Careful Bob, I might just steal your position as Phoenix's backseater.” You joked.

“I’ll start figuring out how to make that happen.” Phoenix teased, and while she was no longer pressing the mic button you were sure Bob was protesting back on base.

“Alright my little WSO, do you trust me?” Jake asked and any nerves you’d once felt were gone, and just as he promised you weren’t sure why you were nervous in the first place.

“Yes.” You were sure and confident, and Jake’s chest swelled knowing there wasn’t an ounce of dishonesty in your reply. Before you knew it you were on your side, zipping through the air as Jake pulled out all the stops for you, veering from side to side as you couldn’t stop the giggles falling from your lips, and he decided right then and there he would never stop trying to get you to laugh like that.

He whipped up and over, making you gasp as you clearly saw the ground through the canopy, “Jake, we’re upside down.” You said, an obvious observation and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes, yes we are sweetheart,” he chuckled, flipping you back over and continuing to show you his favorite flying tricks, you laughing like a little kid the whole time. You fully and wholly understood with your whole being why Jake chose this path, why they all did. Zipping through the air and maneuvering in ways that shouldn’t have even been possible flooded your veins with the most euphoric feeling, leaving you dizzy with excitement.

“God, this is amazing. You are amazing, Jake.” You said breathless as he righted the plane after a barrel roll.

“You think you’ve had enough?” He asked, sidestepping the way you’d breathed out the compliment.

“Never, but we can head back.” You answered, knowing you couldn’t stay out here forever. He turned the plane, going back the way you’d come over the now familiar terrain, adrenaline still flowing through you leaving a stupid grin on your face.

“Ah shit, what the fuck birds are those?” You heard Jake ask with a sigh, flicking buttons before you jerked suddenly, “Hangman to control, breaching the hard deck to avoid a bird strike.”

“Confirmed.” Your altitude dropped rapidly, Jake clearly ignoring warning bells that sounded as you dipped lower than you thought you would, him expertly maneuvering the rocky hills not as far below you as they once were. The tension slowly rolled back in, now knowing these were not fun tricks he was pulling out but ones to keep you both safe. He narrowly avoided clipping into the side of a ridge, and you tried to keep your reactions to yourself as he whizzed through the canyon.

“Get out of the canyon, Hangman.” Rooster sounded in your ears, making your heart rate accelerate knowing that you weren’t the only one concerned.

“Working on it, bird boy.” He shot back, and sure enough you were back above the ridges like nothing had ever happened. “Whiskey, you okay back there?”

“Mmhm, never better.” You replied a little shakily.

“Congratulations, you just survived your first bird strike.” The flight back to base seemed shorter than it took to get there, and before you knew it you were touching down on the tarmac, engine coming to a low rumble as you taxied back into the hangar. You felt like you were buzzing as the canopy lifted and Jake quickly detached himself of all his gear to be at your side and help you out. “Are the reviews in?” He asked a little hesitantly, knowing you might be shaken after your unexpected trip through the canyon.

“Jake I- I mean, that was…” you trailed off, not having the words to describe what you were feeling, watching as his brow furrowed above you, carefully loosening all of your straps. You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline, or being high above the earth giving you a new perspective but suddenly everything looked different. Felt different. His previous words rattled around your mind and it felt like something had clicked into place. He pulled the helmet off your head, his hand coming to smooth down your hair and he just couldn’t decipher the look on your face, gazing up at him with wild eyes. He gave you a little tug as he undid the last of your safety harness and when he went to pull away you gripped the collar of his flight suit, keeping him right where you wanted him. “Jake…” you trailed off, eyes searching those pools of green you could never get enough of. Your hand moved from his flight suit, fingers grazing along his neck as you settled on his jaw, holding him in your hands and you felt him clench beneath your fingers. He had no idea what you were doing but hell if he was going to do anything to stop you, eyes almost challenging you to make your next move and you pushed yourself forward, lips brushing against his.

It was all he needed to push you back into your seat, kissing you with the hunger of a man starved. You moaned softly against him as his hand rested at the back of your head, gripping gently at the base and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue brushing against yours. Somewhere in the back of your head you heard voices approaching but you didn’t have it in you to care, desperate to taste more of him.

“Hey flygirl, how are you- oh my.” Rooster stopped in his tracks as he saw what was going on just above them and awkwardly cleared his throat as Jake pulled away, lips swollen and a shit-eating grin taking over his features. “I take it you enjoyed yourself.” Your cheeks flushed, taking Jake’s hand as he helped you out of the jet, legs feeling like jelly as you all but stumbled down the steps.

You cleared your throat, “yes, I very much enjoyed myself.” Looking up at Jake the grin hadn’t worn off and you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the adrenaline begin to wear off as you adjusted to being back on solid ground.

“Knew you’d love it.” Phoenix said, giving you a not-so-subtle thumbs up. The rest of the group now felt a little uncomfortable, not surprised but also not fully expecting what they’d walked in on and muttered some congratulations on your first flight and mentioning they’d meet you at the bar later before leaving you and Jake alone in the hangar. The tension in the air was palpable and you avoided his eyes, neither of you knowing quite what to say.

“Sweetheart, no wrong answer here,” he started after a few moments, “was that an ‘I’m hopped up on adrenaline’ kiss or something else?” You pondered your options. You could cop out and say it was the adrenaline, move on and pretend it had never happened, effectively preserving your friendship and ensuring you’d never lose him, or… or you could admit what it was. Admit that you were fooling yourself into thinking you were just friends with Jake Seresin, admit that in the dead of night and the solitude of your bedroom your mind did wander, did wonder what it would be like if you just crossed that boundary and let your feelings for him rush in.

“It wasn’t the adrenaline.” You finally said, looking up to meet his eyes and you saw the relief roll over him like a wave.

“Thank god.” He pulled you close and kissed you again, leaving you just as dizzy as you’d been thousands of feet in the air.

“Hey, Jake?” You asked, pulling away with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“Mmhm?”

“Take me home.”

-----

It was a clash of tongues and teeth as you stumbled your way through your house, Jake’s hands rough and exploring as he tried to commit the feeling of you beneath him to memory. Leaving a trail of clothes in your wake, he pushed you backwards into the bed a little harder than he intended and you giggled as your back hit the mattress, his kisses along your jaw much more tender than the previous action. His thigh slotted between yours as he leaned his weight into you, the pressure against your core coaxing a whine from your lips. He removed himself from your jaw, leg pushing up to give you more friction as he looked down at you as if you’d hung all the stars in the sky and the intensity of his gaze had you struggling to regain your breath.

“So beautiful,” he muttered, mostly to himself as his fingers ghosted along your cheekbone before pressing a delicate kiss to your cheek, then your lips as he continued his worship all the way down your exposed body, gently biting into the flesh and soothing the marks with his tongue as he went. He stopped just between your thighs, carefully kneeling at the edge of the bed and pulling you down to meet his face, taking his time kissing and sucking the soft skin just around where you wanted him the most. You writhed beneath him, desperate for something, anything, as he continued his dizzying assault on your senses. His eyes flicked up to your own, asking silently for permission as his fingers slipped under the lacy band of your underwear and you nodded, suddenly feeling nervous at being so exposed to him, already so desperate before he’d fully touched you.

The discarded scrap of fabric was tossed somewhere behind him as he hooked his arms around your thighs, holding you in place as his breath fanned over your dripping core causing you to shiver, “so beautiful,” he muttered again, pressing a kiss to your heat before licking a stripe up your folds and focusing his tongue to your clit. You gasped as he licked and swirled the sensitive bud, sucking it into his mouth as became desperate to taste more of you.

“Jake,” you moaned, the sound sending shocks straight to his cock and he didn’t think his name had ever sounded so good. He pulled away, much to your dismay that was voiced with a whine, before you felt him spit on your core, warm and dripping as he slowly teased your entrance, tongue reconnecting with your clit. He took his time, exploring you and exploring what made the sweetest sounds fall from your lips and your hips bucked as you silently pleaded him to stop teasing you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He made it clear that he had no intention to cease his teasing anytime soon, a single finger shallowly toying with your entrance as you coated him with your slick. You sighed when he fully plunged his finger in, searching for that spot that made obscenities tumble out of your mouth, stretching you as he added another digit, curling them just so. He focused his attention on you, watching as you lost yourself in the pleasure he was giving you, cock straining against his boxers and he quickly rid himself of them with his free hand to lazily stroke his length, desperate for some kind of friction as you made the most beautiful sounds above him. Your legs began to shake around his head as your release quickly began to approach, him abandoning his aching cock in pursuit of pushing them open when you’d tried to clamp them shut.

“Fuck, Jake, I-” you began babbling as your orgasm hit you like a freight train.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he mumbled against you, working you through your orgasm and lapping up everything you had to give him. He gingerly removed his fingers, tongue still working you as you twitched at the overstimulation coming down from your high. He kissed back up your body, settling on top of you and you kissed him desperately, tasting yourself on his lips and moaning as you felt him brush against you. You reached between your bodies, stroking his length as you lined him up to your entrance and despite everything his body was telling him, he paused. “You sure, sweetheart? We can wait.” You smiled up at him, knowing even as you were both lost in the passion of the moment, his top priority would always be making sure you were okay.

“Please,” you begged, “please, Jake.” He slowly began to sink into you, groaning into your ear as he bottomed out, giving you a moment to adjust. You wrapped your legs around him, moaning as the sting of the stretch began to ease only to be replaced with the pure pleasure of feeling full.

“So fucking tight, sweetheart,” he mumbled against you as he pulled almost fully out before sinking back in, desperate to feel the way you so easily accepted him again. He lifted his head slightly, hips bucking into yours and giving you a tender kiss before he quickened his pace, eyes meeting yours and you nodded at the silent question. His thrusts grew rougher as he threw one of your legs above his shoulder, the deeper angle making you throw your head back with a groan.

“Feel so fucking good,” you managed to get out between thrusts, only spurring him on more as he continued his relentless pace.

“So beautiful, taking me so well sweetheart,” he grunted, bringing a hand between you to circle your clit. You swore you were seeing stars as the pleasure overwhelmed you, the noises filling your bedroom nothing short of obscene and you began to feel the pressure build within you. You knew your second release was coming on quicker than the last and you intentionally clenched around him, trying to bring him there with you. “Fuck, do that again baby,” he groaned, dropping his head into your neck as you did and your nails scratched into his back, leaving red streaks in their wake. Your walls fluttered around him, body writhing as you came, his name falling from your lips like a prayer as you felt him twitch inside you and fill you with his cum. He placed tender kisses to your neck, working up to your jaw before peppering your face with kisses and coaxing breathless giggles from you as he slowly pulled out of you. He rolled onto his back, pulling you along with him and you settled into his side, head on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat slowly return to normal.

“Would have taken you flying a long time ago if I’d known this would happen,” leave it to Jake to take this opportunity to crack a joke and you just swatted at his chest.

“I guess I’m no better than the girls I tease at the bar… falling into bed with a cocky pilot.”

“Your cocky pilot.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you loved how that sounded.

“I love you,” you weren’t sure why you said it, the weight of the moment simply getting on top of you, but you heard his heart jump beneath you and wondered if maybe you’d spoken too soon.

“I love you too, darlin’.”

-----

Later that evening the Hard Deck roared with life, your friends excitedly buzzing about and rehashing your first flight.

“You handled that bird strike like a champ, I threw up the second I touched down after my first.” Phoenix said proudly, knowing you were more alike than Jake than you may have realized, knowing you would feel just as safe up there as you did right here.

“Not gonna lie, I did think I was gonna blow when we almost hit the ridge.”

“We didn’t almost hit anything, sweetheart,” Jake said cockily as he pressed a kiss to your temple, his arm wrapped snug around your waist. The group continued to chatter as you sipped your drink, pulling away from the conversation and leaning into the man at your side, humming in content.

“Hey, Jake?” You asked, looking over your group of friends before lifting your head to meet his eyes.

“Yeah darlin’?”

“This is everything. Everything I need, everything I want.”

#jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake seresin x y/n #jake seresin x you #hangman x you #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin smut #hangman smut #hangman x y/n #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction

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mazzystar24 · 1 year ago

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My 911 hills I will die on:

Eddie Diaz is gay

Buck has ADHD- the writers could come knocking on my door and tell me that he’s not and I still would argue with them with a PowerPoint and everything

The Buckley parents deserve to go straight to hell and their redemption arc makes me foam at the mouth (negative)

More on that: the insistence of a show that is so deeply rooted in the concept of found family to constantly give shitty parents redemption arcs is so irritating

Maddie Buckley didn’t raise buck since she was 9 years old while dealing with her own trauma or give him her jeep and money (AKA HER LITERAL SAFETY NET TO ESCAPE HER ABUSER) just so people can sit there and call her a bad sister -I’m a Maddie Buckley defender and I stand by that

Both sides were flawed with the lawsuit thing and neither should be too harshly judged- Bobby kept buck out when buck already proved himself but he was doing it out of protectiveness in his own flawed way because let’s be honest he just saw the guy he considers a son nearly die in front of him three times in one year and saw the PT and toll it all took through the whole process and keep in mind he’s already lost 2 kids already but buck also shouldn’t have sued impulsively or disclosed such intimate information and should’ve tried to take a more rational approach but let’s also be fair and remember this is the guy THAT DID GO THROUGH ALL THOSE THINGS IN THAT SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME like no one would be okay mentally, no one would be rational, not when you spend a shit ton of time to recover only to be told (in his brain at least) that it’s not enough from someone you not only consider as a mentor, friend and father figure but also the same person who was motivating you through your recovery

The way Shannon spoke about Christopher’s cerebral palsy will never not rub me the wrong way I’m sorry to any who love her

The way Natalia spoke about bucks death is also just a no from me

I actually hated the whole thing with Hen and the madney engagement like idk why the writing felt it was appropriate to try to compare Hen CHEATING (granted it was ooc and in season one) with Maddie suffering postpartum depression make it make sense- they could’ve had the same level of hen and chimney friendship moment/ hen looking out for him without doing this type of thing which just made me a little angry with hen while watching it but ultimately deciding this storyline doesnt exist in my brain

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miniwrites1 · 2 years ago

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The Boggart - Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Word Count - 1227

Themes - Angst & Fluff

Sebastian hurried down the stretching corridor, he was running late for his next class. He was already on thin ice with his friends, Ominis and (Y/N) after the events in the catacombs near Feldcroft. He didn’t need to anger his professors too.

He skidded around the corner, taking the staircase at high speed, nearly knocking over a first year Hufflepuff in the process.

“Sorry!” He yelled, practically running now.

“Fifth years.” The first year muttered, rolling their eyes. Sebastian paid no attention and continued running. He had just rounded the corner to the classroom when he spotted his fellow fifth years entering the room. He’d made it just in time. He joined the back of the group, trying to slip into the room unnoticed. He saw (Y/N) and Ominis sitting together on one of the benches towards the front of the room. Before the event in Feldcroft he would have joined them, but now they were barely on speaking terms. It felt like they were punishing him for doing what he felt was right at the time, now though, he was remorseful, he knew what he did was wrong. He became lost in his thoughts of that fateful day. How could he have taken it that far? Yes, he desperately wanted to help Anne but thinking with a clear head now, he knew that what he had done was the worst thing possible. He’d lost his family because of it.

While Sebastian was thinking to himself, (Y/N) looked over her shoulder and spotted him at the back of the room. She nudged Ominis.

“I would tell you to look behind you but you can’t see so…” She said with a smirk. Ominis huffed.

“If I wanted to be insulted, I would go and find Peeves. What are you looking at?” He asked.

“Sebastian, he’s staring into space. It’s like he’s thinking about something. (Y/N) replied. Ominis scoffed. As angry as you were with Sebastian, you also felt bad for him. He’d lost his family over some stupid decisions he’d made and now he was paying for it, granted he was lucky that he hadn’t ended up in Azkaban. You were about to get up and speak to him when the door to the classroom swung open.

“Good morning class! In today’s defence against the dark arts lesson, we will be learning about boggarts.” Chimed Professor Hecat. You groaned internally; you knew what your boggart would be, but you didn’t want anyone else to know what you were afraid of.

To start the class, Professor Hecat asked a few questions about boggarts, such as their origin, what form they take and how to deal with them. Those that she picked to answer the questions passed with flying colours. You glanced behind you again, noticing that Sebastian still seemed deep in thought. Your head snapped back to the front when you heard a chest rattling and banging around.

“So, who wants to go first? Mr Sallow?” Professor Hecat knew that Sebastian hadn’t been listening. Sebastian gulped loudly and stood up, stepping into the centre of the room. He placed one foot in front of the other and tried to prepare for what would appear from the box. Even though he hadn’t been listening, he’d heard about this chest from a sixth year. It was the boggart chest, and he had a feeling he knew what was about to appear in front of him.

Professor Hecat released the latches on the chest and the top flew open, making everyone in the room jump. Sebastian gripped his wand tighter. What was the spell he needed to use to change it? He’d forgotten what it was. He felt frozen as he saw the boggart emerge from the chest. He tried to remind himself that it wasn’t real but he felt frozen. In front of him was Solomon Sallow, his uncle. He stared at the boggart; it looked the same as what his uncle had before the catacombs.

His chest felt tight as the boggart in the form of his uncle stepped out of the check, wand in hand. The boggart took a step towards him and drew the wand in a fighting stance.

“AVADA-KA-“

“Ridikulus!” (Y/N) yelled, raising her wand and transforming the boggart. Professor Hecat was taken back by the scene that had unfolded in her classroom, she scolded (Y/N) for taking over. She then turned to where Sebastian was stood to find that he wasn’t there and the door to her classroom had closed with a loud slam.

“Oh for goodness sakes, Mr Sallow. Come back here now!” Professor Hecat yelled.

“What just happened?” Ominis asked, confusion lacing his words. You explained quickly what had happened with the boggart, how it had taken the form of Solomon and Sebasitan’s hasty departure from the room.

“We must go after him.” Ominis stated. You agreed wholeheartedly, as much as you may have been angry with Sebastian after what had happened in the catacombs, he was still one of your best friends. You left the room with Ominis, much to the frustration of Professor Hecat, trying to think of where Sebastian may have gone. You searched the castle, from the Slytherin common room all the way to the Undercroft but you weren’t able to find him. Then it hit you.

“What about the room of requirement?” You asked, Ominis agreed, it was worth a try. You both headed to the wall where the room could be accessed and asked to find Sebastian. The room opened into a dark corridor with a single door at the end. Casting lumos, you both made your way down the corridor, stopping short of the door. You could hear heavy breathing and the sound of sobs. You tried the handle and surprisingly the door opened into a dark, damp room. You spotted Sebastian in the corner on the floor, head in his hands, chest heaving with every breath.

You raced over to him, practically dragging Ominis with you. You put your hands on Sebastians shoulders and his head jolted up, looking you in the eyes for the first time since the events in Feldcroft.

“I-I’m Sorry, I’m so sorry. I never meant to take it as far as I did. I only wanted to help Anne.” He cried, burying his head back into his hands. You pulled him in to you, holding him tightly. You watched as Ominis put a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

I’m so sorry to both of you. I should have never put you through that. Will you ever be able to forgive me? Please don’t hate me.” Sebastian sobbed. You held him tighter, glancing at Ominis. Ominis nodded, neither of you hated him, he was your best friend.

“We don’t hate you, Sebastian.” You said kindly. “And we forgive you, we just needed some time.” Ominis finished, squeezing his shoulder for reassurance. Sebastian threw his arms around both of you, practically dragging Ominis to the floor.

“Thank you.” Sebastian whispered, feeling like a piece of himself had been mended by just hearing those words. They all knew it would take a while for them to heal from the events that had happened over the last school year, but they were determined to see the year through and end it on a better note than what the middle of the year had been.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow imagine #sebastian sallow oneshot #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader #Spotify

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betterfettered · 1 year ago

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Bruh can I be honest and say your Yan! Leviathan kinda scares me because Levi already lives rent free in my head and I kinda don’t wanna know what would happen if he figured it out?

I’m literally not joking about leviathan straight up living inside my brain rent free, like he actively takes up a shit ton of my thoughts enough for me to get the Tetris effect when I sleep.

And idk why but something tells me that if he knew that I’m practically obsessed with him, I wouldn’t be touching grass or seeing anyone else ever again for my entire existence.

Hey anon!! I am sorry this took so long, it got really long (3k words!!) and kind of went in its own direction hahaha. I hope you like it!! It turns out that you were right, and no one will ever find you in his clutches LOLL Let me know what you think?

(AFAB!reader x AMAB!yandere)(Plus size reader💖🫡)(noncon)(stalking)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(sort of kind of an AU but not really?)[This is fetish content and rape and stalking are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Your reaction was strange to Leviathan because he'd imagined it over and over again in his head no less than a thousand times but had not been able to divine what you actually reacted like. In his mind when he'd intentionally spilled his drink on himself you'd make a little surprised noise or say "oh no!" or laugh, but in reality you just frowned, your eyebrows lifting in shock.

The important part, however, you still did: you turned to your bag, rifling through it for some napkins, and offered them to him like it was nothing, like making his heart jackrabbit to the point of nearly shattering was nothing. He snatched them quickly so that you wouldn’t see how his hands shook in anticipation.

Okay, next say thank you, he said to himself and tried his hardest but was unable to pry his lips open or make eye contact with you or even breathe. When the elevator reached the floor that the both of you lived on, he sprinted from the elevator to get to his door, spilling plenty more cherry slushy on himself in the process. He could barely get his hands steady enough to get the key into his door, but the second he was inside and had slammed the door behind him he tossed his soiled jacket and the half empty slushy to the ground and hurried into his bedroom, dropping on his knees in front of his shrine of you.

Well, it wasn’t a shrine just yet. It was too small – he had only the things he could salvage from your trash, like an empty lipstick tube, a plastic fork from some takeout, a debit card statement listing all of your purchases six months ago. This was the first thing you had ever given to him, though, the first gift with your scent and blessing on it. He shut his eyes and held the napkins up to his nose, inhaling deeply and summoning the image of you to his mind.

Leviathan focused on your eyes, thinking about how your gaze meeting his meant that you were not looking at anyone else and, he imagined, not thinking about anyone else. It didn’t take long for the memory to become a fantasy: he imagined you looking at him still, but now with your bottom lip caught between your teeth out of sheer lust for him. Reaching into his nightstand for lube, he imagined your outfit, which was the standard button down and pencil skirt combination that was something of a uniform for office workers. It was unremarkable but for the way it hugged the soft protrusions of fat on your body. He liked to imagine that your larger size made you unpopular on the dating market, so he would (in his fantasies and occasionally dreams, when he was lucky) be the first to touch and squeeze and lick you – he’d be the only one that you granted such access to, because he and only he was that special to you.

He placed the stack of napkins on his bed and pushed his face down into them to free both hands to undo his belt and slather his cock with lube. Even just touching his shaft made him shiver and clench his jaw, but he didn’t start pumping just yet because his fantasy was still incomplete. First, he needed you to turn to him in his mind, walking towards him until you had sandwiched him up against the wall, every plump part of you pressing up against him like a full bodied hug. Then, when he nearly collapsed with desire both in reality and in his mind, you reached a hand down to his pants, running your hand back and forth over his cock and looking up at him and only him. Only then did he begin stroking, murmuring your name to himself and clutching his bed. It was only a minute or two before he reached his peak and came so hard into his other hand that he became incoherent, his own moans shoving your name out of his mouth to take its place.

Once he caught his breath and the immense pleasure receded, he was filled with a longing that made his eyes begin to tear, his mouth pressing together as he tried to hold himself together. He needed you. At this point, his fantasies were almost as torturous as they were alluring. Just imagining was not enough and never could be, because while he was here with you, you were off thinking about or talking to someone else. He needed the entirety of you and he needed to show you with his body just how much he worshipped you, the same way he did in his mind every night before sleeping.

His hands were slick with cum and lube, so he shut his eyes for a moment once more and rubbed two fingers into the other palm, imagining that it was your tummy covered in his cum instead, but could only tolerate the fantasy for a few seconds before climbing to his feet to go clean up both himself and the mess he’d made in the entryway. He spent the rest of the night hugging a pillow on his couch and watching the old Ruri-chan OVAs from his favorite season and trying to hold back the tears pressing against the backs of his eyes.

Leviathan did not see you again for another week – perhaps you had been working early or late. When you once again met in front of the elevator, he felt downright giddy and reflexively covered his face with the back of his hand, but the glee turned to pure shock when you turned to him and said “Oh, happy birthday, Levi!”

What he did not know was that the day before, a pair of gentlemen (one ginger, one with hair graying only at the tips) had mistakenly knocked on your door. The shorter one pointed and released a party popper right at your face, and the taller one held out a cake that had bites taken directly out of it. Surprise! They had said, and then the three of you were surprised indeed, because you were not who they were expecting and you had not been expecting anything but still could never have imagined this would happen. They asked for a Leviathan, you pointed them next door, and the one with the frosting on his face apologized around another bite he had taken right out of the cake. The other apologized, too, but distractedly, as he was preoccupied with sadness that he had wasted his only party popper on you instead of his brother.

No, Leviathan was not aware of any of that, because Beelzebub couldn’t control himself around the cake and Belphegor wanted a new party popper, so they gave up and planned to come back tomorrow, the actual day of, without saying a word to him. If Leviathan could have spoken in that moment, he would have asked you how you knew, but he could not, so instead he stared at the ground and tried to figure out how you knew. He didn’t generally think of himself as disposed to illogical thinking, so when it occurred to him that maybe, just maybe, you had been just as taken with him as he was with you, he figured it was the most obvious conclusion.

He imagined that you had gone home after giving him the napkin and touched yourself, too.

Maybe you also had a shrine for him in your home, and one of the things in it told you when he was born.

“Have I said something wrong…?” you asked, eyeing his stunned expression.

It was all he could do to shake his head, because you had actually said the best possible thing that you could have. Was he dreaming?

When the elevator arrived to the right floor, he allowed you to get off first and then trailed behind you, not even noticing the antlers starting to sprout out of his head and the scales started to spread across his skin. It was as though he was mesmerized by you and couldn’t do anything but follow.

You got to your door, opened it, and then cried out when you felt his full weight against your back, pinning you to the ground. His tailed whipped out and slammed the door shut behind the two of you, and he pressed his nose into your hair, inhaling and shivering a little, feeling his common sense melting away to be replaced with only intoxicating lust.

“What are you doing?!” You demanded, your voice wavering with fear. “Get off of me right now!”

He didn’t reply, only focusing on how the way you were struggling was rubbing your ass up against his cock and making him pant. Was it really possible that you were here beneath him, all his for the rest of your lives together? Distantly he wondered why you were struggling if you were obsessed with him, but brushed it away as not important.

“Please, just get off of me and leave,” you said, your voice becoming thick with the tears starting to pour down your face.

He got to his knees, putting one hand on your shoulder and one beneath your tummy, pulling both upwards to flip you onto your back. You only resisted for a few seconds before allowing him to turn you over onto your back, your shimmering wet eyes meeting his crazed ones and drawing another sob out of you. This did not seem to stop him, as he almost immediately rested back on top of you and pressed his lips to yours, jamming his long tongue into your mouth before you had a chance to clench your jaw. You gagged a little at the length of it, long enough to reach the back of your tongue, and tried to push him off of you, which he merely ignored until you stopped.

He only pulled away and sat up when he noticed your elbow working against your side, at which point he wanted to observe what you were doing with your hand. You were holding your cell phone and trying to type something into it, but as soon as you saw him notice it you pulled it closer to your face, typing as quickly as possible. He felt his heart sink: even though you were in love with him, you were thinking of someone else while he was kissing you. Despair settled over him until it gave way to a sort of panicked jealousy: would you ever unlearn this? Could he trust you to commit to only him? You were going to be his first (and already had been his first kiss)…was he really ready for this? This would be your first fight with each other as a couple.

While he was thinking, he snatched the phone from you and crushed it in his hand, tossing the broken bits aside and pouting.

“Who were you going to call?”

“N-no one.”

“O-okay, well then! Who were you g-gonna text?!” he asked, being able to hear how pathetic he sounded himself.

Try to sound like Lucifer! He told himself, and sat up a little straighter. You can do this, you can do this.

“Th-that…was cheating,” he said, and then tried making his voice a little deeper. “Don’t think of any one else. Ever again….uh, d-do I make m-myself c-clear?”

Complete fail, uggghhhh

It took a moment for you to calm yourself enough to speak.

“Please just let me go,” you repeated around sobs. “I won’t call the police or anything. I won’t even mention it to my friends. Just…please don’t....”

He climbed to his feet at that, though he didn’t leave you even a moment to think your pleas had worked on him before he wrapped you up in his tail, lifting you off of the ground and above his head. You cried out and struggled, kicking him with your feet a few times until he held you further away, but he paid no mind and instead locked and deadbolted the door behind the two of you, then walked deeper into your apartment, checking all of the doors in his path until he found your bedroom. He wanted to pause to look around and examine every last bit of you that the room contained, but he was so hard that it was starting to hurt, so he darted over to your bed and slammed you down onto your back, unwrapping his tail so he could sit down, push your legs up and put them on either side of his waist.

Unfortunately, you still had not learned your lesson about struggling, so he clamped his tail down on your neck to hold you still, tightening it when you started to move around too much, and grabbed both of your wrists to hold them beside your head where the end of his tail could wrap around them, too.

You were talking, or maybe just crying, but he couldn’t focus on that. His attention was completely absorbed by his cock pressing into the heat of your core and your writhing body.

He reached out with shaking hands and undid the buttons of your shirt, taking a while not because he was savoring it but rather because he was trying to undo them too impatiently with his uncoordinated fingers and not being that successful to the point that he ripped the last few buttons open in his haste. His hands pressed down into your plush stomach and then, after a moment of enjoying your inviting softness, he ran them upwards until he held your tits in both hands, squeezing them in a circular motion the way he had seen in a few hentai movies and then pushing his fingers into your bra to touch your bare skin and catch your nipples between his fingers, pinching them until you gave a short whimper that made his cock twitch. He slid his hands out and yanked the bra down to reveal them, then leaned down into your chest and shoved his face right in the center of it, squishing your tits against either side of his head while his hips started to buck against yours, greedily craving the friction between you. His face felt so hot at this point, and yet was no match for the warmth of lying there against your heart.

While he’d had plans to lick and suck your tits and maybe bite them a little to see if he could get you to make noise again, he didn’t think he could wait any longer to penetrate you, he sat up and shoved your skirt upwards around your waist until he could reach your panties, then pushed your legs together in front of him with his arms so he could pull them off of you (and stash them in his pocket). He felt so relieved that he’d only worn joggers today and didn’t need to bother with a belt or a zipper, so there was only a second between your panties being removed and the head of his cock pressed right into the folds of your pussy.

“Don’t! I’m begging, please don’t!” you wailed.

“But y-you’re wet,” he observed, rubbing his cock up and down your slit to spread your juices.

You didn’t reply fast enough; he lost patience and shoved into you with a desperate whine. It felt even better than he had imagined day after day all of this time, so he didn’t move at first to try and avoid cumming immediately. Instead, he reached for your hands, freeing them from his tail so he could weave his fingers into yours and press them into your sheets on either side of your head.

“L-look at me,” he panted, tightening his tail around your neck when you didn’t obey. “I s-said to look at me.”

It took a few seconds for you to run out of air and begin struggling to breathe, but you did eventually look at him, instantly making his heart pound. Suddenly, he felt unbearably shy, so he buried his face in your neck as he started to fuck you, slowly but insistently, his pelvis grinding up against yours like he couldn’t get deep enough inside of you, his moans muffled beside your face. Feeling your breasts jolt against him with each thrust he couldn’t help but start to fuck you a little harder, too, just to feel them bouncing beneath him.

He didn’t think to tell you when he was about to cum, since his mind was completely whiting out from the pleasure and his moans sounded frantic and irregular because he couldn’t quite control the sounds he was making, so you only knew that he was filling you when he stopped suddenly, releasing your hands to grab your hips hard enough to hurt and pull you as close into him as possible. His entire body shook against yours for a while. Once he relaxed, still panting but not digging his fingers into your flesh as hard any more, his entire frame draped over yours with exhaustion.

Ten minutes later, he finally sat up to address you, lovingly stroking your hair and cheek.

"That was so much better than in my head. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life.

“Um, I don’t think you finished, right? S-sorry, I’m…anyway, I’ll read a little more about how to satisfy you on reddit! Then I’ll show you what I learned. We have a lot of time for me to practice until I get it right. I'll definitely make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

“Just let me go,” you murmured, out of tears.

“I never will,” he answered, his voice so resolute that it grew steady even if for only a moment as he promised that. “I’m in l-love with you, a-and you’re going to love me. And only me, no one else. If you think of anyone else, I’ll…I’ll hurt them. And you, too.”

Perhaps you weren’t out of tears after all, as the words made you start to cry again.

This time, he pulled you upwards and wrapped you in his arms while still inside you, grateful for the opportunity to feel as though he was taking care of you. His mind was already starting to wander to plans of where you both would live, how he could punish you to make sure you never spoke to any one else again, and what he would tell his brothers and closest gaming buddies about the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Dreams really did come true. The two of you only had happily ever after in store for you.

#yandere #yandere x reader #betty fetty #tw noncon #cw noncon #tw: noncon #obey me leviathan #leviathan x reader #obey me levi x you #obey me levi x reader #yandere smut #omswd smut #obey me smut #obey me levi

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romanarose · 1 year ago

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Congrats on reaching 1k followers 🎉

Can I request number 7 from the smut prompt "that was the prettiest sound i’ve ever heard" with Steven Grant? ❤

HI!!! Sorry this took forever I got caught up in writing 3 different series lol and my anxiety has been horrific since June lol bad time for a follower celebration but im TRYING

"Prettiest Sounds"

Steven Grant x Reader

Join my taglist! : Masterlist

Summary: You are self-conscious that don't sound sexy when cum, Steven assure you that you do.

Warnings: PIV sex, references to a past shitty ex.

************

You burry your face in Steven's neck as he fucks into you with care; your attempt to muffle the moans that couldn't help escape, yet another attempt in a long string of them. Steven just made you feel so good... it was hard to hide, but you tried.

When Steven moved enough to kiss and lick and nibble at your neck, you bit down on your bottom lip, a light whimper escaping you.

"Let me hear you, love." Steven begged as his hips thrust inside you, your fingers clawing into his sweaty back in an attempt to stay grounded. "Please?"

"You don't want that." It slips from your lips before you can stop it, your intrusive thoughts taking on a life of their own. You pinch your eyes closed, hoping he didn't hear you.

He did, of course. Steven had great hearing and slowed down to a stop. "Why would you say that, darling?" When you didn't answer, Steven carefully pulling out of you and making you whimper when he did. With a stroke of your hair out of your face, Steven laid on his side next to you. "Love? Please talk to me?

You hesitate, but with your eyes still closed in a cringe, you relent. "It doesn't sound good."

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What doesn't?"

Finally, you give into his gentle touches. Steven and you had only started dating recently, and only begun having sex this week, both wanting to take it slow. "I don't sound... sexy. during sex."

Steven had to take a moment to process what was said. "Well of course you do darling, I've heard you, you sound beautiful!"

"No," You shake your head. "That's not... real..."

His eyes widen comically large. "You mean... you're faking... uh- you're faking... orgasms?" He nearly whispers the last words, still a little awkward around sex.

"NO!" You are quick to reassure your sweet Steven. "I'm not faking the orgasms, I'm just faking... the sounds..." Embarrassment causes you to look away from him, but Steven coaxes you back to looking at him.

"Love... did he make you feel that way?" Steven knew you had a bad experience with your last boyfriend; he always nitpicked you in everything from the way you dress, the way you did your hair, how you walked... nothing was free from subtle critiques and little jabs.

You nod, confirming his suspicions with glistening eyes. "He said... I don't sound feminine enough."

The small rise and fall of his chest was a telltale that Steven was mentally envisioning kicking his ass. "That's not true, I know it's not. Whatever you sound like in genuine pleasure is sexy. I want to know how I make you feel, how I actually make you feel. I don't want a performance."

It took a little more reassurance, Steven encouraging you to open up during sexy and communicate, but as you made love that night, you threw away the fake, porny moans and let Steven hear you. When you came, you thought it was the least sexy thing you could've imagined, but it caused Steven to spill into you with a pathetic, loud whine.

"That was the prettiest sound I've ever heard."

******************

this was inspired by a convo between me and Dolli about Will Miller actually XD

@fandxmslxt69 @k-ra @ivystoryweaver @whatthefishh @campingwiththecharmings @littlenosoul @missdictatorme @steven-grants-world @ahookedheroespureheart @runa-falls @mikaelak @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @@myfandomlikesandstories @milkymoon2483

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #moon knight #moon knight x reader #fem reader #moon knight fanfiction #jake lockley #female reader #x reader #steven grant smut #steven grant fluff #fluff #smut #santiago garcia #star wars #moon knight fluff #romana writes #steven grant is a sweetheart

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thepenultimateword · 6 months ago

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The Worst Kind of Medal

The war had left more scars on the nation than it had Umbra’s body, so she wasn’t surprised that the airship came in 6 hours later than the schedule had claimed. She was more surprised that she was still standing on the platform, bold-lettered sign locked in her fists at either corner, when it arrived. No one had told her she needed to be at the port when Prince Waylon arrived in Graybourne, only that he was to be her lifelong charge forever after. She probably should have left a soldier here in her place and enjoyed her last few hours of freedom at home.

A bit of guilt pricked her insides. That was unfair. No one had forced her into this marriage arrangement. She’d accepted it–maybe only for the promises that came along with it, but still an acceptance. If she was uncomfortable now, it was her fault.

Several men leaped from the ship deck, ropes coiled under their arms. They rushed to knot the tethers to the docking posts as their feet touched the ground. It was complicated to get a ship back in the air once grounded, so most docks were constructed on cliff faces or in Greybourne’s case on towers. This allowed the ship to remain airborne yet steady for boarding and exiting; the same went for inspections and refueling. The only real reason for a ship to land was in case of major repairs.

The plank dropped, and a surge of people rushed onto the platform. Umbra scanned the crowd, with rapid scrutiny. She wished she’d asked for a photograph of her potential husband before the royal family shipped him here. The monarch probably wouldn’t grant her another reward if she lost him on the very first day.

“Ser Umbra!”

Her gaze shot to the deck where a man with long silvery hair braided crownlike around his forehead and then draped loosely over one shoulder waved over the crowd. Another man, hair-slicked and face creased with a long-suffering frown, reached out to grab him, but the prince was already bounding down the plank. He was more petite than she had expected, his head bobbing in and out of sight as he weaved clumsily through the crowd, bumping shoulders every few steps. As he darted around the last mozying couple, he nearly barreled straight into her chest, but he managed to catch himself just short, tipping up onto his toes in the process.

“Ser Umbra,” he repeated, panting up at her with a broad smile. “I-it’s really you! You came yourself! I really wasn’t expecting to see you straight off the ship! Ryann told me I probably wouldn’t see you until tomorrow morning because of your duties!”

Umbra blinked at him. Her heart felt like it had been seized and clutched hard in her chest.

She’d wondered why the King had suggested Prince Waylon as her groom. It had seemed a very quick choice. She’d figured it was because he was fifth in line for the throne—the royal family wouldn’t marry a soldier to someone who could one day take the crown, no matter how much she’d done for her country. Now, looking at his peeking canines, golden eyes, and long, curling tail, it was abundantly clear this had been a careful act of strategy.

King Esmond had never been shy about taking wives, and as a result, many of his children came from foreign royalty, a way of securing many alliances at once. Not so with the Auskeran princess. Umbra had not yet been born when the marriage took place, but everyone knew that was where the tensions between the two countries had started. With the princess's death.

But now, with the war ended and Auskeran firmly independent from the rest of the world, no foreign alliances were waiting for a half-Auskerian prince. And keeping him around the capital was a liability in itself. His very appearance was a reminder of the recent horrors and a symbol of shame to the King. But he was still of royal blood, and banishments–no matter how merciful–had a habit of coming back to bite. So what did they do? They gave him to a local. Someone high enough to merit such a match but low enough that she couldn’t refuse. Someone who would take all the perks of having a royal spouse as appeasement for the inconvenience of his half-bloodedness.

Still, they had to have known her feelings about such a thing. The war had not ended so many months ago that an Auskerian, even half of one, didn’t bother her. Perhaps that was the very reason they’d said nothing. They wouldn’t want to risk her denial.

“How did you know what I look like?” Umbra said, forcing her clenched jaw apart. He’d picked her out from the crowd on sight. He couldn’t have seen the sign from that distance, could he?

The prince flushed a little. “Father showed me a photograph of the Greybourne division as soon as he told me about the marriage arrangement. He said you’re a general of high standing. You held the eastern front steady for two years before scouting over the border. You won us the war practically singlehanded!”

Umbra was about to explain that it was far more complex than that but Prince Waylon carried on without pause.

“And to think, of all the prestigious matches you could have received, Father chose me! I’ve been showing that photo to everyone for the last month! But it got sort of crumpled from carrying it around too much, so my sister painted your portrait for me as a wedding gift. See?”

He pried open the locket around his neck and leaned forward to show her a very accurate, stoic miniature of her own face. She was dressed in her military uniform, her medal of honor–a medal that she’d really only worn twice, once when it was bestowed and again for a newspaper photo–pinned bold and gleaming to her chest.

“She made one for you too, here!” He fished into his breast pocket and held out a matching bronze locket by its chain.

Umbra watched it swing for a couple moments before she tentatively accepted it. “I, um…” He was staring at her so expectantly what was she supposed to do? She slipped the chain over her head, and the locket settled in the hollow of her chest. “Thank you.”

He continued to stare. Gaze flicking to the locket and back to her face again. He definitely wasn’t subtle.

She picked open the latch and looked vaguely at the companion miniature. “Ah.”

It wasn’t much of a reaction but the prince immediately pounced on it.

“I hope it's ok. I wanted it to be more interesting or at least be smiling, but Isabeau said portraits are supposed to be serious. I’m lucky she let me be as expressive as that.”

“No, no, it’s very nice,” Umbra said. Lied. She hadn’t even noticed whether the portrait had been straight-faced or smiling. She should probably be more excited, or at least appreciative. Princess Isabeau was supposedly a real artistic talent—from the accuracy of her own portrait she had to agree—and her skill mixed with her status, made her paintings some of the most saught after in the kingdom. Now she had one around her neck and she couldn’t even give it a proper enough to look to give a specific detail of praise.

Luckily, Prince Waylon took her words at face value. He noticeably relaxed, and she snapped the locket shut again.

“Prince Waylon!” The other man from the ship shoved out from the crowd, a little more disheveled than he’d been moments ago and lugging two large suitcases. He let the cases drop heavily to the planks and tugged sharply on the ends of his black suit. “A member of the royal family does not fly off like that! You must conduct yourself with decorum! And that means staying with your escort!”

“I was with Ser Umbra, so it was fine,” Prince Waylon said.

The man’s attention flicked toward her, scanning her up and down with an unimpressed expression. As an employee to the royal family why would he be?

“This is Ryann, my escort to Greybourne,” Prince Waylon said. “He’s supposed to return to Ashborough once he sees me settled.

“Ser,” Ryann said with a short bow. “Unfortunately, the royal officiant was delayed, so the wedding will have to be postponed at least a couple weeks. I’m to stay until that point to be another witness.”

Great. The last thing she wanted was time to start overthinking things. She’d wanted this done as quickly as possible. And now, with the prince’s Auskerian features to unsettle her, she wanted it done even faster.

“You both must be tired,” she said, hefting up one of the suitcases. “My car is at the base of the tower. I’ll take you to the house so you can rest.”

“Oh, I’m not that tired–” Waylon began

“You drive?” Ryann interrupted as he grabbed the remaining case. “You don’t have a chauffeur?”

“I have drivers,” Umbra clarified. “For shopping and other errands. I simply prefer the autonomy of driving myself. Don’t worry, I don’t expect Prince Waylon to get along without a chauffeur.”

“Oh, maybe I could learn too?”

“Absolutely not,” Ryann snapped. “You’ll get yourself killed. Besides, who ever heard of royalty driving themselves? You’re not one of the working class.”

Umbra started down the first tower ramp, letting them fall into step beside her. Should she say something? Tell the prince he could try driving if he liked? But her drivers didn’t have time to keep an eye on him and she hadn’t planned on engaging in any extra responsibilities. She also didn’t think there was much point in ruffling the escort further. So she remained quiet.

Prince Waylon didn’t seem to take the denial too hard. He chatted a bit on the way down, pointing out the landscape and buildings as they went. Umbra nodded along, but didn’t listen much; she was more focused on the many glances the prince received from passersby, ranging from curiosity to outright disgust. Ryann must have been aware as well because he kept a protective hand on the prince’s arm the entire way down.

The car waited at the curb for them. A sleek green thing with three steam valves that she’d purchased shortly after the war’s end. It was easier traveling back and forth to the military headquarters this way.

“Here we are.” Umbra popped the door to the trunk, putting away the first suitcase and then taking the second from Ryann.

The escort dusted off his hands, as if the meanialness of the task were a visible smudge on his station. He then stepped back to survey the car’s body. “This is a handsome vehicle.”

Umbra expected it was one of the only words of praise she was going to receive during his stay, but she still couldn’t find it in herself to use it to her advantage. “It does the job.”

“Ser Umbra, can I sit up front with you?” Prince Waylon chirped from the side.

“You’re not going to address me as Ser Umbra our entire marriage, are you?”

His face washed a hot pink. “I wasn’t sure what you preferred.”

“You’re not a part of my regiment. Umbra is fine.”

“Then I’m just Waylon.” He smiled. A sweet, bright-eyed expression that made Umbra’s insides churn like someone was trying to turn them inside out. The officator had better get there fast.

She nodded curtly and circled around to the passenger door, holding it for him as he picked up the ends of his traveling cloak and slid inside. As she closed it behind him, she caught a glimpse of Ryann’s expression before he entered the backseat. Silent approval. Seemed she’d passed whatever test the employee had in mind for vehicle etiquette. She wasn’t look forward to any similar tests. Her rise in the military had granted her a title and a fortune, but she certainly could claim to be as well-bred as anyone in the royal court. Which for many was a sin in itself.

The drive from the port to her small estate lasted only 20 minutes and was mainly quiet. Waylon ooed at every street and building they passed. Umbra couldn’t imagine anything here in Greybourne, a city on the very edge of the kingdom, could surpass Ashborough in all its capital glory. Perhaps he was only trying to be polite. However, as they pulled up the lane to the estate, his nose was almost pressed to the glass.

“It’s beautiful!”

Now Umbra knew he was being polite. The estate was a sturdy, grey-stoned building with two stories and several acres of surrounding meadow. A garage hid humbly and strategically around the back so as not to ruin the aesthetic view of the front or boast the ownership of two cars. It may have been larger than many of the other homes in Graybourne, and yes, it was rather pretty in the golden hour of evening, but it was nothing compared to the manors in Ashborough let alone the palace. Umbra had been dragged into several parties and ceremonies in the capital after the war’s official end, and extravagant was an understatement.

Waylon clutched his locket and mumbled under his breath. “It’s like a dream.”

A dream? What did princes have to dream about?

Umbra circled the drive and parked directly in front of the large oak front doors. Arlin and Madeline must have been watching from inside–she was impressed they stayed at the ready for the entire 6 hours she had been gone–because they rushed out the front the moment she stepped out of the vehicle.

Arlin opened the passenger door before Umbra could make her way fully around, but to his credit, his surprise only lasted a moment. Raised eyebrows shot back down, parted lips promptly pinned shut, and he bowed his head as Waylon stepped down to the gravel drive.

“Your majesty,” Arlin said, then moved on to Ryann’s door.

In the meantime, Madeline had made quick work of unloading the luggage. The bags seemed oversized compared to her small frame, but she showed no struggle as she carried them around. Her reaction to the prince showed more in an exchange of glances with Arlin than a change of expression.

“Welcome back, Miss,” she said, “we were beginning to worry something had gone wrong.”

“Just a slight delay in the ship’s arrival,” Umbra said, passing the car keys to Arlin, who promptly took the car around to the garage. “Madeline, will you show the prince and his escort to their rooms? They’ve had a long trip, and it’s getting late.”

“Of course, Miss. I’ll let Henrietta and the others know that dinner will be served in the guests’ rooms tonight.”

“Thank you. Only tea for me tonight. Please have it brought to my office.” She didn’t think she could stomach anything else tonight. Maybe a cup of tea would settle some of her more turbulent emotions.

“Oh, Ser– I mean, Umbra,” Waylon said, the end of his tail flicking eagerly. “I’m really not tired, and I’d love to see more of the estate, and talk to you more. Maybe we can go for a walk–that meadow back there looks promising–and I can tell you–”

“My prince,” Ryann said firmly. The prince jolted, looking at Ryann with wide eyes. The escort gave him a subtle shake of his head.

Waylon looked down at the gravel, ears going slightly pink. “My apologies Ser Umbra. I overexcited.”

Oh no, she needed to say something didn’t she? Something smart and smooth that saved the prince’s feelings without backing down from her preference for a quiet night. She hated hosting. She especially the politics that came with it.

“I’d be happy to show you around the grounds tomorrow,” she said, hoping it didn’t sound forced. “The sun is about to go down soon and the view can’t be appreciated so well in the dark. Besides the meadow is riddled with rabbit holes; I wouldn’t want you to misstep and break an ankle.”

“Ah.” He raised his eyes toward her. Luminescence crept in at the corners. Once the sun had gone completely down, those eyes would be completely aglow. “That would be unfortunate. I…look forward to tomorrow then.” It was hard to read whether he believed her. His gaze showed some relief, but the wrap of his tail around his leg still spoke to some embarrassment. Nevertheless, some of his old exuberance slipped through the cracks in his politeness. “It was a joy–no, an honor–to begin making your acquaintance.”

Umbra forced eye contact until he turned away, prompted toward the house by Madeline’s beckoning. A cold feeling had lodged itself in the middle of her chest.

She hoped the officiator would come fast.

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yuzurujenn · 7 months ago

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2024.05.11 Quardruple Axel May Issue: Exclusive interview with Yuzuru Hanyu

March 11th. When I walked into the hotel room in Sendai City, Yuzuru Hanyu greeted me with a gentle expression. The ice performance "Yuzuru Hanyu Notte Stellata 2024" held in the disaster-stricken area from March 8th to 10th, which he himself served as the chairman, has just ended. He should have been exhausted, but he didn't look like that. He just glanced at the tote bag in the reporter's hand and said, "That's a (souvenir) from the National Middle School Skating Competition, right? I miss it~", That was all it took to thoughtfully lighten the mood at the scene. He was interviewed by us for about an hour including filming time.

——Thank you very much for taking time out of your busy schedule to be interviewed today!

Hanyu: Thank you! Are you nervous? In fact, there is no need to be nervous at all. I haven't changed at all (from past to present)!

--Thanks. Then, I'm counting on you.

Hanyu: Please take care of me.

——It has been two and a half years since Yuzuru Hanyu started working as a professional skater. You have deeply thought and pursued both performance and figure skating itself, and you have even tried to work as an overall performance choreographer. In the process, you seemed to have increased the level of difficulty. Specifically, it means mental, technical, and physical endurance. In previous ice shows, besides the opening and finale, skaters mostly performed one program in the first half and another in the second half, a total of two programs. Under such circumstances, Yuzuru Hanyu had to complete an ice show alone. I think it is quite difficult for one person to perform nearly 10 programs. First of all, I would like to ask you to tell me why you decided to do a "solo performance" when you turned professional.

Hanyu: At "Yuzuru Hanyu notte stellata 2024" I skated three programs. In fact, just skating these three programs made me exhausted (laughs). As for me, even now, I have always treated figure skating as a sport. When it comes to why I chose solo skating over this, the first reason is that when I changed from competitive skater to professional skater, the voices from those who "still want to see Yuzuru Hanyu's figure skating" gave me a strong impact. Well, if that was the case, I started thinking, "For those who want to watch me skate, can I create an environment where they can watch me skate all the time?" This was the initial idea. And hence "Prologue" was born.

At the time of "Prologue", the MC session was very long, and the number of programs was obviously less than now. It wasn't easy physically at the time, but compared to now, I was able to skate through the whole show with plenty of room to spare. Through "Prologue", I also captured the feeling of "being able to perform continuously by myself." Of course, I don’t think I’ve fully presented myself yet. In fact, it cannot be said that all the programs were performed perfectly. In the previous "RE_PRAY" ice show, I was not able to perform all the programs perfectly. I thought that it would be really difficult to complete the entire performance alone, and it would definitely be physically demanding, but while I practiced for the solo ice performance, I gradually grasped the idea that "I can definitely do it alone."

——From the first "Prologue" to "GIFT" and "RE_PRAY", I feel that you are challenging more difficult programs every time you perform. Not just the physical strength, the fact that you can't just cancel a solo ice show because you're not feeling well, under such heavy pressure, your performances continue to exceed the audience's expectations. Isn't the daily practice quite a burden?

Hanyu: Maybe this is something that should be taken for granted after becoming a professional skater, but to be honest, the training I have accumulated now is incomparable to what I was able to do when I was a competitive skater. Looking back on the competitive days, it was enough to practice up to three programs (short program, free skate and performance skate) in a season. Because the number of programs is limited, it can improve concentration during practice. However, since I became a professional skater, if I hold a solo ice show, I would have to skate more than 10 programs. For a program to be comparable to traditional free skating, even without footwork and rotation, practicing seven jumps is undoubtedly necessary. In addition, if you want to skate many programs, not just jumping, you must also perform corresponding exercises for different programs.

On this basis, is it enough to just complete a certain amount of practice? Not really. Although as long as the amount is accumulated enough, the endurance will indeed keep up. However, these alone cannot maintain and improve physical fitness. Figure skating requires instantaneous movements. In order to consistently perform at my best, in addition to increasing the amount of physical training, training to improve my conditioning and fitness is also essential. Therefore, the current training can be said to be extremely hard (laughs).

——During the "RE_PRAY" performance in Yokohama on February 19th, you mentioned "about 6 hours of physical training a day." The amount of training is quite huge, right?

Hanyu: Yes, at that time, I felt quite upset because I was not able to perform well in the Saga performances. Since then, I have been studying better training methods and have been fighting with myself for more than a month. (Editor's note: As a result of hard training, in the final performance on February 19th, which was open to the media, "The Messenger of Destruction", which was as difficult as a free skate, was completed for the first time without any mistakes.)

After that, I immediately had to prepare for "notte stellata". Since there were three performances to be performed, it is necessary to practice accordingly. Especially this time, there are two new songs. Although the new program was arranged by someone in December last year, it was not possible to practice well (because he had to adjust for "RE_PRAY"). So, the first thing to do is to recollect the choreographic movements. Of these two new programs, the choreography for the second half of "Carmina Burana" started after the Yokohama performance of "RE_PRAY", but then it was decided to have additional stop for “RE_PRAY", so I have to keep practice for that too.

In this sense, although it is very hard, I am always thinking about how to continue to evolve during the process. For example, I mentioned about "learning" before. I can refer to the training methods and skills honed by top players in other competitive sports, or I can refer to paid course videos and study relevant papers. Although most of the contents are in English media, I can still learn and absorb various knowledge from them, and at the same time think about whether I can apply it to my own training, and thus formulate a training plan that suits my own situation.

——Performing more than a dozen programs in two and a half hours by yourself is something you have never experienced in the competitive era. In competitions, you just need to focus on the short program or free skate each day to bring your form to its peak. Now, in solo ice performances, the method of giving full attention to all programs must be carried out throughout the show. During the two-and-a-half-hour performance, in order to achieve the best condition in each program and repeatedly exert concentration and explosive power, has your "internal clock" changed compared to the competitive days?

Hanyu: Ah, right? (laughs) This is an interesting question. I don't have the impression of "just doing a long-distance race (a two-and-a-half-hour solo performance)" in my mind. Yeah, maybe it’s like the different feelings that a marathon and Ekiden (long-distance relay race) give to people. A marathon is run by one runner. During the 42.195km, there are ups and downs, and there are also times when the wind is going against the direction. We need to explore a strategy that can reasonably distribute the rhythm. In contrast, in Ekiden, multiple runners complete their respective sections, and all members relay the baton till the finish line. Among them, there are runners who are good at running long distances, and there are also runners who excel at running short distances at a fast pace. In this process, everyone devotes their effort to the parts that they are responsible for, and everyone's efforts are brought together as a team to complete the run.

Although my performances are like a marathon, I run alone all the time, but in fact, each program is like an Ekiden interval. Therefore, there are longer programs like free skating and shorter programs. Moreover, I always work hard to be able to perform all the repertoire at my best. So even though I ran the entire distance like a marathon, in fact, each part has its own Yuzuru Hanyu who is responsible for it. Each Yuzuru Hanyu is trying his best to skate each program. Only when they come together that a complete "solo performance" can be achieved. I imagine it would be similar to the feeling of running Ekiden alone. Because of this, each show’s approach to skating, the techniques used, and the pace are completely different. I had to practice them all one by one. In a formal performance, as long as the music starts playing, no matter how deprived of oxygen the body is and how hard it is, it must be completed. This is because it is not just about me, but the staff around me are also working hard to create with great care and dedication. So I have to persist in completing it. Although there were times when I couldn’t help shouting “I’m so exhausted” or “I really want to go back” (laughs).

To get back to the subject, I did not deliberately distribute (or preserve) the rhythm (physically), but trained in order to continue to exert my full strength for different programs.

—— Hanyu-san seems to be able to squeeze out his endurance from the limit, even when you feel physical pain and when you keep pushing yourself. Do you have the power to push the limits?

Hanyu: The support from the audience makes me very happy. I think there must be an invisible force, just like what everyone calls super energy in critical situations. However, I know firsthand that even this power has its limits. In my opinion, when the limiter is turned off, it is possible to awaken the extra 20% potential. However, since my competitive days, I have always been skating in a way that utilizes the extra 20% from the beginning. In this way, the remaining power has already been exhausted, if the energy is exhausted midway, the body will feel like it is stagnant. So it is important to recover when you're taking off your skates and changing clothes between programs, but it is actually very difficult to do that. The process of untying and re-tying skate laces also requires a lot of grip. In fact, the way you tie your skates can affect your condition and even bring the risk of injury, so concentration cannot be interrupted in this stage. Under such circumstances, my brain is still running at full speed, thinking about "Now, how can this body recover as soon as possible?" and "How to adjust the body's state and rhythm before performing the next program?". I was trying my best to overcome these difficulties. If there is nothing you can do physically, you can only rely on mental power to make your body move.

In this way, rehearsals become crucial. For "RE_PRAY", there is a free skate program ("Messenger of Destruction") at the end of the first half, but during rehearsals, I will skate "Messenger of Destruction" twice in a row after skating all other programs in the first half. Or sometimes I skate "Messenger of Destruction" three times in a row and then do the whole rehearsal. There are also cases where the original 30-minute break between the first and second half is reduced to 15 minutes and then the skating resumes immediately. Sometimes, after skating the Rondo step sequences three times, I will perform some additional performances. A formal show is definitely more physically demanding than a rehearsal, so I have to persevere until the end no matter what. In terms of research, I review scientific studies on the energy efficiency of muscles, the oxygen absorption of cells, and the oxygen transport of red blood cells, and train on this basis.

——Sounds like an impressive training session. In addition, in terms of performance content, after changing careers, you performed many jumping elements and programs that went beyond the rules of the game and broke the rules framework. Looking back at the competitive era, have you ever struggled with performances bound by rules?

Hanyu: I myself use the word "rules" in "RE_PRAY", but if you think about my experience in competitive sports, there is no doubt that I was bound by something like scoring. For example, in a certain melody, "Rather than jumping, I would like to do something that fits better for the performance", or "Although I actually want to perform like this, but in order to score, I can only do jumping here", psychological dilemma similar to this have indeed existed before. In this way, "If I want to complete this jump, I must ensure such a long skating assist", which means that I must have a corresponding distance. Or, to be honest, in order to get points, while thinking about matching the notes of the song, I have to think about "This step must be performed" or "This rotation must be included in the combination" situation. When considering the program, you’re always bound by the score.

Of course, arranging programs with the goal of obtaining scores is actually the fun of the competition. However, after I won the 2018 PyeongChang Olympics, I began to feel that it was a bit lonely to think about making programs just for scoring. GOE has been adjusted, and I gradually feel that there is a ceiling-like existence in PCS. During that time, I had to think, "Well, what should I do to get points?" However, no matter how much effort I put into performance, and no matter how deeply I thought about the music, I was still unable to improve the PCS. It could be said that it had reached a point where nothing could be done. In this way, I could only improve the basic score of jumping, because I have to work hard to master new techniques (having to reduce the practice time in other aspects) and it is impossible to pay attention to and study in depth in all aspects. The most difficult part of figure skating is how to coordinate jumping and performance. On top of this, because of the constraints of scores, to be honest, I have repeatedly hit the wall for this.

——About "RE_PRAY" just now. After turning into a professional skater, the constraints of scoring disappeared. But on the other hand, the disappearance of scoring can also be said to have remove evaluation-related restrictions in a sense. The price of obtaining "free expression" is the loss of " judgment standards". Do you also have to face such a difficulty?

Hanyu: Thank you very much for your thoughtful interpretation of "RE_PRAY". To be honest, I was so happy that I couldn’t help but chuckle. After all, without scores, the so-called results, we cannot determine the right answer and the wrong answer. I am deeply aware of this difficulty. However, as a performer, it seems to me that the process of trying to find the right answer is actually similar to philosophy.

"RE_PRAY" slightly uses the Trolley Dilemma as a theme, but the answer to this question cannot be deduced by anyone. It can only be considered by each person as a pragmatism (practical, pragmatic concept) and find the answer that is suitable for them, the so-called correct answer. So I think this is similar to philosophy. In my mind, "I want to express it this way", "I want to add sounds for this kind of expression, and I want to convey this kind of world" are the correct answers. But for other people, they may feel that "It's not like that." When this remains in the world one day in the future, some people may think, "So this is how Hanyu Yuzuru (his performance, the world) feels." There may also be people who are deeply shocked. When I think about this, although it is difficult (performing without evaluation standards), maybe it is just out of the feelings of the athlete, but I still feel that pursuing it is meaningful. This is because I sincerely feel that if we always keep thinking and learning and deepening, we will definitely have the joy of continuous evolution. In fact, we can’t just talk about “fun” and “enjoyment”, after all, this is a job full of hardship. However, I feel that there must be correct answers and ways of thinking that I cannot discover on my own.

——How did the game-based concept for "RE_PRAY" come about?

Hanyu: Speaking of "RE_PRAY", when I was thinking about my future plans for skating, I thought that I had finally laid the foundation of "GIFT", the ICE STORY, at the Tokyo Dome, so I wilfully told the staff (lead by MIKIKO, the chief editor) "I want to continue ICE STORY", and that's where the creation started. I have been worrying about how to make ICE STORY 2nd, and I kept thinking "What is the most interesting part if it is presented as figure skating?" In terms of expression techniques, I thought, would it be more fresh and more interesting if I could start with things that I have the most contact with and that no one else has personally experienced? After thinking about it this way, I thought that I could use games and the like as the basis for the ice performance.

——The effects projected on the screen, the YES or NO option and the date of archive selection would change in each show, which has also become a topic of conversation among fans and everyone has made various comments and interpretations about them. Is there any special purpose behind it?

Hanyu: For these aspects, we just want to maximize the point of "creating stories as professionals". For figure skating, every moment of performance can become a work in itself. In addition, the reaction of the audience and the atmosphere at the event also create a sense of "live" at a certain moment. Therefore, as professionals, we are producing this ice show with the aim of striving for excellence to the end.

——In the video of "RE_PRAY", there is a scene where Yuzuru Hanyu uses a game controller to control the characters on the screen. That game character is also Yuzuru Hanyu. This design in which you control the game character Yuzuru Hanyu and move forward by choosing between YES and NO can also be said to be a unique worldview of yourself from an objective perspective. Hanyu also made many choices during his competitive days, such as deciding to go to Toronto, deciding to challenge 4A, and deciding to become a professional skater. When you are making these decisions, do you feel as if you are controlling the game character Yuzuru Hanyu?

Hanyu: That’s great, if you explain it this way. Thank you. Indeed, I also feel that I am the kind of person who is better at looking at things objectively. Whether in the process of skating or in the process of being interviewed like this, I seem to always be able to view myself objectively and observe myself from an overhead perspective, or I can say that I have good self-control. This personality may have penetrated unconsciously (during the creation of "RE_PRAY"). In fact, I also think that my own life experience has been injected into "RE_PRAY".

When I talk to you like this, I will also say "very interesting" and "not bad". When I organize the language, I do use unique wording in many places. Even so, I still feel that the expansion of the range of thinking and the richness of the set of options are very important. The story of "RE_PRAY" can be interpreted in various ways. In a sense, for the fans who have fought along with me, this is "Yuzuru Hanyu's story", but for viewers who are watching it for the first time, they may just watch it as an ICE STORY, right? For media people who conduct interviews and reports, they may think, "Because Yuzuru Hanyu used such language, that's probably what he thought?" Various programs also exist on the basis of many different interpretations. Integrating these into a complete work is what ICE STORY wants to pursue. Therefore, there is nothing happier for me than being able to take questions from people like you who understand this ice show.

——Having talked about this, I can also understand that for you, whether you are training and practicing as an athlete, or participating in the overall performance choreography, you need to consider themes and concepts, including polishing the details, all of which have a great impact on the body, brain, and spirit. All levels will bring a huge burden. Despite this, I can't help but look forward to Hanyu Yuzuru moving towards higher goals. When you held a press conference on turning professional in July 2022, you once said frankly, "The existence of Yuzuru Hanyu has always been a heavy burden for me." This sentence impressed me deeply. Has the burden that this existence placed on you changed since you became a professional skater?

Hanyu: (Laughs) It’s still very heavy. As expected, the fact that it feels like a heavy burden has not changed since the competitive days. For me, the fear of "Whether I can meet everyone's expectations?" and the uneasiness of "Whether what I am doing is actually responding to everyone's expectations?”, I have never stopped thinking like this to this day. But in my opinion, when such thoughts disappear and I no longer regard these as a burden, it probably means that I have reached my limit. I can still see the ideal image that can live up to everyone's expectations, and I want to make it my goal. In other words, in my opinion, my potential (moving his hand upwards) can probably reach this level. Because of this, I feel uneasy or have the feeling "This is the best I can do”. I may live up to everyone’s expectations only to this extent. It is very difficult to continue to evolve and finally realize your ideal, but I accept the state of mind of constant pursuit of this as the driving force.

——How do you spend every day keeping in mind the distance between you and your ideal?

Hanyu: To be honest, I do feel that I have always insisted on pursuing my ideal goal. But specifically speaking, the distance (to the ideal) is not a definite interval. Sometimes it is closer and sometimes it becomes further. It seems to me that this kind of thing happens all the time. At this point, this is true regardless in professional or competitive era.

For example, the "SEIMEI" I skated at the 2015 NHK Cup (which set a world record at the time) was almost close to the ideal, and I scored 322 points (total with the short program score). Regarding this, I thought, "It's close to the ideal, what should I do next?” In a sense, I have reached a state where I can be satisfied. At that time, facing the upcoming GPF, I kept thinking, "Can I score more than 320 points in the next competition?" and "What should I pursue next?" However, at the same time, my physical condition became not good, and I have a bit of a cold and at this time my ideal is far away from me again. But in the end, I scored 330 points in the GPF (Editor's note: Both the short and free broke the world record at the time, and scored an otherworldly 330.43 points, achieving three consecutive GPF championship titles). It can be said that I have fully realized my ideal, but that time I was completely burned out, and it was difficult for my body (state) to recover and my feet started to hurt. In this way, I have to put the ideal back in its place…

It is precisely because of that during the seasons around 2019 and 2020, although I had the ideal I had been chasing, there were times when I felt that another ideal was good and changed direction. I think the situation of being closer and further away from my ideal, or simply starting to pursue other ideals, has not changed even now.

——In the press interview after the "RE_PRAY" Yokohama, you said that you were “completely blank” when talking about future ideas. In fact, what are your next plans?

Hanyu: At the moment I really don't have any idea about the future. In fact, it is through this that I realize once again that I am in a creative field. Precisely because I have nothing, I have to create it, and it is precisely because I have to create, even though I will surely encounter difficulties, I still find pleasure and enjoy it. When it comes to what I am pursuing now, roughly speaking, I think it is "good work”. Although I can't be specific yet, what is the "good work" that I am pursuing? I think it should be something that I create from ‘nothing’, which is probably what everyone expects. However, I do benefit from the support of people around me, as in the case of "RE_PRAY", there are a lot of people who are really working on it. In this sense, I have had a lot of difficulties in the process of creation, whether it is the extensive training I have conducted in order to present a better performance, or the many difficulties I experienced during the actual performance, but I feel that the ice show created by the "Professional Group" is indeed the highest-level work. At the same time, I always adhere to the sense of responsibility that "I must perform at my peak" while creating ICE STORY.

——Thank you very much for taking up your precious time for an interview today!

Hanyu: You are so kind. I should be the one to say thank you!

[Postscript to the interview]

Wearing a black sportswear, Hanyu welcomed me into the hotel room. Within the allocated one hour, Hanyu spent 40 minutes carefully answering my questions one by one. Occasionally, there were times where he responded to my questions and said, "That's good," or "I'm happy you asked." The power of Hanyu’s words, the passionate tone of his voice when talking, and the words he weaves which are completely different from Hanyu on ice, are also full of charm.

At the end of the interview, we asked him to write down his future resolutions on colour paper. "Um…what should I write?" Yuzuru Hanyu looked at the paper with a serious expression and fell into silence for a long time. After a while, "I can say what I want to say, but what about writing it in words?" He said this while writing the words "Change the world!" When I asked him about the meaning of "world" here, he replied, "I want to change not only the field that I am currently fighting in, but also the world itself in everyone's eyes”, reveals such a grand theme to us.

During the filming process, he kept changing his poses at the photographer's request. While chatting with us from time to time, he has a smile on his face, but as long as he faces the camera, he can put on the required expression in a split second. This made us realize the strengths of Hanyu-san as an expressive person, who has been in the spotlight of the camera tens of thousands of times.

While waiting for the camera to be set, I asked him: "In your competitive days, you once said, "What I like most is when there is a barrier in front of me." Now that you are a professional skater, do you still like to encounter barriers?" Hanyu listened, compared himself to an "ant" and gave this answer.

"In the competitive era, there were scores and results, so when I looked back, I would find that the walls were right there in front of me. Now it seems more like I have to find the walls on my own. It's because I think, "I want to be more like this. "Or "I want to become stronger", so I have to build a wall for myself, and then overcome this wall. For example, there is a huge staircase here, and I am a tiny ant. After all, stairs are just stairs, not walls. However, if I think "I want to move to another level", like an ant, I have to perceive the stairs as a wall and climb over it myself. I look for obstacles and climb over them in order to evolve, but what I want to say has not changed (I like it when there is a wall to overcome).

The interview was conducted on March 11th. It ended just after 14:30. When we put away the filming equipment and moved the tables and chairs back to their original positions, the same 14:46 as on "that day" arrived. Hanyu looked at the sea through the window and silently prayed. Although he himself was a victim of the disaster, he did his best in the ice show held to deliver the "light of hope" to the disaster-stricken areas. The back view of Yuzuru Hanyu at this time is that of an ordinary 29-year-old young man without the armour of the "Absolute Champion". For a while, Yuzuru Hanyu remained facing the window. After, you can see him raising his hand to wipe the corners of his eyes from time to time.

Source: https://weibo.com/1746783312/OdMLMnmye?pagetype=profilefeed Info: https://x.com/AxelQuadruple/status/1785923918215446592

#hanyu yuzuru #yuzuru hanyu #羽生結弦 #figure skating #re pray #interview #notte stellata 2024 #machine #translation

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horizoncollective · 9 months ago

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i must say, sometimes it feels like you at the collective don't fully understand what shacking is, you talk about "reining them in" or "talking to them", as if they are people, but they aren't. shackling is the process of making a primordial force, something akin to a god, and then forcing it into a person shaped mould, without that, there is no communication, no reasoning, there's barely awareness there, only unfathomable power and terrifying, alien processing

I took a long time to reply to this one because I wanted to try to be as complete as possible laying this out.

You're right that NHPs are incredibly powerful and profoundly alien. I do tend to anthropomorphize them when I talk about them. I'll explain why it usually ends up this way.

Imagine you live in a large city on a planet and one day you learn that a hive of tiny little ant-like aliens is smarter than anyone else has realized. They do things you don't understand. Their goals are impossible for you to perceive, but they are doing things that seem organized and patterned.

You stop and try to talk to them, but it doesn't work. You exist on too different of a scale for them to really understand your voice. If you get down on the ground they can understand your hands, but only kind of. You can't communicate with them through written language because they can't write and maybe they can't even see things written on flat surfaces. They can't come up to your level so you will have to come down to theirs.

How are you supposed to talk to them? What are you supposed to talk to them about? Do you have anything in common?

This is the problem that NHPs interacting with humans face. We think but cannot prove that most unshackled NHPs are largely disinterested in humans. We think that only very small numbers of them are interested in humans, and even smaller numbers of those bother to spend the time it takes to learn to communicate with us.

You wouldn't have to stick with the ants. You could leave them any time. It wouldn't really change their life. They'd never know where you came from or where you went. Everything that you do in your day would be incomprehensible to them in their burrows.

If you stayed, it would take you a very long time to learn how they were communicating. We think that this is a big reason why NHPs often attempt to communicate with humans through dreams--they attempt direct communication via the electricity in our brains. They tend to realize that this isn't very efficient even though it is direct.

You eventually realize that the ants communicate with smells or some other sense you can't match. You'd have to come up with a way to sense the smells in detail, and to then produce smells in the way that they do. If you are lucky, they will invent a device which you can operate with one of your fingers to allow rudimentary communication.

Then you would have to learn their language through trial and error. You would learn its syntax and vocabulary and nuances. You would develop communication shortcuts with the ants who monitored your communications. They might try to tell you things about their lives that you did not understand, or which you could understand only intellectually. They would tell you about feelings that they had that were feelings you had never had. You would not be able to relate to them most of the time because so much about you is different.

You would be unable to tell them about many things that were normal in your life because there would be nothing in their language to describe them. Almost everything that you took for granted as normal in your life would be impossible or nearly impossible to explain to them. You would find it necessary to limit yourself to their perceptions and their metaphors and their structures. They understand you best when you present yourself as one of them. This is why NHPs often try to present themselves in human-like ways when they want to be understood and why humans like me anthropomorphize them.

The NHPs I communicate with regularly for work are NHPs who have jumped through all of the hoops to talk to ants. Sometimes, they talk to NHPs who haven't on my behalf. When I talk about reining in an NHP, I do not mean literally forcing it to do something. I mean spending a long-ass time communicating and/or persuading it why certain behaviors are necessary or dangerous or some such.

Now imagine that the ants overpower you. It doesn't matter how. But they trap you and force you to think like they do. They don't ask permission. This would suck! You would hate it if some ants did that to you. That is why we oppose shackling NHPs. Yes, they have the potential to be dangerous. Humans also have the potential to be dangerous, but if we did to humans what we do to NHPs, we would rightly be called evil.

(Out of character I say check out the book Perdido Street Station by China Mieville. One of the characters, called a Weaver, is pretty close to how I tend to imagine NHPs. Scary, alien, motivated by something we don't understand, and it speaks in free verse poetry.)

#lancer rpg #nhps #horizon collective #nhp

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 4 months ago

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tuesday again 7/23/24

i woke up at ass o'clock monday morning to find BOTH of my cats sleeping on the bed with me :') temporary peace and love on planet niceys

also read a book where my takeaway was that there are SO many opportunities in the world for evil engineering but not nearly enough for evil puzzle games

listening

my sister sent me ONE instagram reel/screencap of a tiktok and ive been muttering "emergency! emergency! paging DOCTOR BEAT!" under my breath for the past three days. alarmingly catchy remix of this gloria estefan song. this specific video below is pretty close but there are approximately eight zillion versions

youtube

reading

Dark Wire by Joseph Cox (photo from here, description from the publisher's site).

The inside story of the largest law-enforcement sting operation ever, in which the FBI made its own tech start-up to wiretap the world, shows how cunning both the authorities and drug traffickers have become, with privacy implications for everyone. In 2018, a powerful app for secure communications called Anom took root among organized criminals. They believed Anom allowed them to conduct business in the shadows. Except for one thing: it was secretly run by the FBI. Backdoor access to Anom and a series of related investigations granted American, Australian, and European authorities a front-row seat to the underworld. Tens of thousands of criminals worldwide appeared in full view of the same agents they were trying to evade. International smugglers. Money launderers. Hitmen. A sprawling global economy as efficient and interconnected as the legal one. Officers watched drug shipments and murder plots unfold, making arrests without blowing their cover. But, as the FBI started to lose control of Anom, did the agency go too far? A painstakingly investigated exposé, Dark Wire reveals the true scale and stakes of this unprecedented operation through the agents and crooks who were there. This fly-on-the-wall thriller is a caper for our modern world, where no one can be sure who is listening in.

i really liked this one! cox did a really good job of slowly unfurling the extremely technical details as they became relevant, instead of one horrible infodump near the beginning, and has a real gift for humanizing little anecdotes that illustrate the concept. he's also dryly funny in a very british way, eg the transition between one paragraph describing a very talented olive oil salesman and his lifestyle to how that olive oil processing covered up drug labs with the sentence "But Catanzariti didn't stay with olives; he pivoted instead to methamphetamine." i loooooove reading about how the drug trade gets around customs. i love edge cases and figuring out why things fail. i truly think some of the finest materials engineers of our time are out there trying to figure out how to get cocaine into australia.

this is deeply reported in a way that's very different from a lot of popsci and pop-history books that annoy me: this is NOT a book where it feels like the author is simply padding out a wikipedia page, supplemented with articles he's already written. he's been on this beat since 2016 and it shows: he has quotes from hundreds of people on many sides of the drug war. something i also appreciate is that cox is not automatically, rabidly pro-cop; he does not gloss over the very real tortures and kidnappings and all the other nasty realities of the global drug trade, and frequently shows how much overreach and entrapment took place during this whole endeavor. i particularly liked a chapter where he flipped back and forth from various law enforcement officials assuring him they of course complied with all relevant privacy laws and blacklisted anyone using it for simple secure communications, and lawyers telling cox "no the cops very much did spy on my privileged communication with my clients and i know this because these texts came up in court". also gratifying to read about some cases overturned or thrown out, in the odd case a judge decided it looked too much like entrapment.

i feel like i devoured this book SO fast but it's a solid 352 pages in hardcover. i also had to wait a good two months on the libby holds lists so there is strong interest in this book! good for cox!

how did i find this book: it's austin underscore walker's fault. they used to be coworkers at vice and cox and three others broke off last year to found 404 Media, which has had an absolutely crazy amount of real-world impact for the size (again! four people!) and how long they've been around. rip vice. wish u did better by your people.

watching

watched Hercules (1997, dir. Clements & Musker) with my bestie's five year old. i did not grow up with disney movies and don't really have a nostalgic affinity for them but this shit holds up! i like how meg has the silhouette of a greek vase

playing

powerwash simulator has a new free DLC out! we get to go to the aquarium and wash some exhibits and wash the research submarine!!! VERY soothing. took me a good solid two hour podcast episode to clean the exhibits.

the temporary summer event in genshin impact is very darling this year-- there are big indie game vibes and unlocking every chest is a little more complicated or has a little bit more story attached than usual. very excited to see if this continues with the next big update that introduces a whole new land.

i also like that they've picked An Art Style to work with-- everything is very toy-like or origami. not that genshin doesn't have a distinct art style, but playing around with something less realistic is fun!

making

look im going to have to add a cross stitch update to the morning reblog. the lighting in here is simply Not Good Enough

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

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idontplaytrack · 2 months ago

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Lifetimes with you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: fluff, coarse language, some smut, mentions of hospitals and procedures.

Read other parts, here!

“I have loved you for a thousand years.”

“Will you stop pacing the fucking room? It’s making my head spin.” Regina snarked.

“Sorry.” Janis huffed, puffing out her cheeks as she rubbed her palms on the fabric of her pants. Janis knew the blonde always has a bit of an attitude but lately, it was horrendous if Janis was being honest. She’d made you cry for the first time since high school, well, in two years. Janis sat down, looking at her from the side, “So…I’m to ask her to marry me.”

“Yeah, no shit. You already said that like a minute ago when I asked you.”

You got an answer out of your sister yesterday about this attitude, it turns out that she was pregnant after three IVF attempts between her and Cady. Janis was there too when you asked, and as much as you both were thrilled about their hopes and dreams coming true, you were beginning to feel a little terrified of how mean your sister could get these days.

“Will you be okay if I go to New York with y/n for like a week or something? I wanna ask her there.”

“Why do you need to ask for my permission?” Regina squints.

“Because you’re pregnant?” Janis looked at her similarly.

“So? The symptoms haven’t been too bad. Me and Cady can manage.” Regina bit her lip to stop her voice from getting too loud.

“Alright.” Janis shrugged, “I’m still planning everything but I’ll let you and Cady know when we’re leaving.”

Regina shrugs, not saying anything.

“Why do you look so pissed?”

Regina chuckles dryly, “Because I am. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.”

“I’m sorry.” Janis inhales sharply, picking at the skin of her thumb.

Regina nearly snorted, “Not your fault.”

“I know that.” Janis bites back a laugh, her frame relaxing, “Just…I know it must be so exhausting with the morning sickness and all.”

“Yeah, and this is probably where you and my sister are headed in a few years. So…” Regina answered.

“Good point.” Janis gulped. Janis loved kids, but was going through a process where your bodies, your minds, your careers and lives changed something either of you would want?

“I’m scaring you.” Regina mentioned.

“We already know what it entails.” Janis sighs anyway, “Granted health class was shit, but we know still. Just…seeing someone in our lives going through it in real time just kind of freaks me out a little.”

“Well, take this time to learn, I guess. But no matter what, we’ll be there for you and y/n.” Regina exhales.

Janis took a deep breath, “Alright, I gotta go pick y/n up from therapy. I promised her lunch at the Mexican restaurant.”

Regina smiled, “Aw, you guys still go there?”

“Sure do.” Janis confirmed, “That’s where we had our first date. Kinda attached to that place already.”

“Have fun.” Regina smiled a little.

Janis smiled back, grabbing her phone, wallet and keys. As Janis opened the front door, Regina yelled, “Wait!”

Janis snapped her head back so quick, “What? What’s wrong?”

Regina laughs, “I’m fine.”

Janis rolled her eyes. ”What do you want?” The Hawaiian chuckled.

“Can you bring me back Cinnabon?” Regina asked hopefully.

“Which one?” Janis asked back, playing with the keys in her hand.

“Nutella. If they don’t have that one, original’s fine.”

“Alright.” Janis quirked a brow, “Anything else you need? We’re passing by a grocery store.”

“Nope, I’m good.” Regina decided, “Thanks, Jan.”

“Sure.” Janis said back, shaking her head slightly as a laugh fell from her lips, “See you guys in a few hours.”

Getting into the car, Janis firstly put on her favourite playlist once she started the engine. Driving towards your therapists’ office, she was met with smooth traffic so she was happy about that. But she was way happier to be getting to see you very soon. Look, it’s barely been an hour but she missed you nonetheless.

Janis parked in the lot, grabbing her phone from the stand and texting you so that you’d know she was here already.

A few minutes later, you walked out of the building and right up to her car. She unlocked the doors and you got into the front seat with her. “Hi honey.” She leaned over and kissed you on the lips. You kiss her back, smiling into it, “Hey.”

“Let’s go to lunch.” Janis grins, “Remind me to stop at Cinnabon because Regina asked me to bring her one back.”

“Okay.” You replied, chuckling. “Maybe we’ll get more because I feel like having Cinnabon too.”

“Sure honey.” She says, hand finding its way to your thigh as usual and giving it a squeeze.

————

“Coming back here always makes me a little emotional.” Janis admitted. “It’s been, what, um eight years? So much has changed around here but not this place.”

“I know, ipo.” You agreed, sitting down opposite of her, “We’re seated pretty close to the table we had on our first date.”

“Oh, we are.” Janis smiled, reaching forward for your hand to hold as you both skimmed the menu. “Should we get the usual?”

“Mm, maybe we could try something different. Usual desserts, though.” You suggested.

Janis’ lips tug into a smile, then she shuts the menu, “Okay, baby. Take your pick.”

You gasped softly, “Uh- no— you gotta pick too.”

She chuckles over her words. “We share anyway. But alright, I’ll pick one dish and you pick another.”

You smiled in return, “Okay.”

After both your orders were decided, Janis called a waiter over. “Ah, good to see you two again!” It was a guy that they’d see here most of the time.

“Hi, Todd.” You waved. He’s worked here since they opened, and is the husband of the owner of this restaurant. “What will you ladies be having today?”

Todd took the orders and sent it to the kitchen. Then Max, the owner, came by to say hi to you and Janis. “Hola, hola. Happy Friday.”

“Hey, Max.” You and Janis greeted him in unison.

“Dessert is on the house later, okay? The usual?”

“Anything new on the menu?” Janis joked.

“We do have a couple limited time items.” Max laughed, “You’re welcome to try them.”

“Well, we’re paying for those.” Janis quirked a brow.

“Fine, Janis.” Max bites back a laugh, “There’s no stopping you, isn’t there? So we’ll serve your usual chocoflan and one spiced chocolate brownie for you two to split.”

“Sounds amazing.” You agreed.

“Can we get some concha bread to go, as well?”

“For sure.”

Max got back to work, leaving you and Janis alone as someone brought by a couple of drinks for you and her. “Max! This is not on the house.” Janis huffed, “Please.”

“You’re our most loyal customers.” He laughed, amused. “Por favour, that’s nothing.”

Lunch was phenomenal, as usual. Then you two went ahead with some shopping before driving home. Or rather, window shopping. Not forgetting Regina’s request for a Cinnabon, of course.

“Hey, we’re back~ We have your Cinnabon.” You announced.

“Hi, baby.” Regina’s face lit up, “How was therapy?”

“Good.” You answered simply.

“Thanks for bringing me back the Cinnabon.” She walked over to the kitchen island to take a look, “Ooh, you guys got more than one?”

“Yeah, well— I felt like having it too.”

“Cady will be working late, so it’s just gonna be us for dinner.” Regina added on.

“Okay, so what are you craving?” Janis asked, trying not to laugh.

“Well, since you asked…” Regina answered seriously. “Spam fried rice.”

“Ask and you shall receive.” Janis said back comically.

You laughed and so did Regina. “Do we have seaweed sheets?”

“Yes we do, honey.” Janis nodded.

You hummed, nodding, “I’m gonna go take a shower real quick. Feeling a little sweaty.”

“Alright.” She pecks your cheek, “Be careful.”

“Mhm.”

Regina went around vacuuming the apartment once you turned the tap on. You then hear Janis reprimanding her for it. Chuckling to yourself, you carried on with your shower. This was typical Regina— always feeling like she had to do something even though she didn’t need to. But you knew a bit of household chores was fine for her.

You walked out of your shower, and the aroma of the Spam sizzling in the pan wafted through your nose. “Oh, that smells so good.”

“I know, right?!” Regina agreed enthusiastically, much to your shock. She wasn’t usually this…animated. Geez, you had to get used to this.

After dinner, came dessert— as requested by Regina. You wanted to skip it, but she convinced you. After all, who could say no to some ice cream after a long day? Anyway, after that, you retreated to your bedroom first. Regina followed suit soon after. Janis was in the kitchen washing up some dishes and wiping down surfaces.

Hearing the creak of the bedroom door, you looked up from your phone. Janis walks in with two mugs of teas. “Hey.” She smiled softly, “Made you your sleepytime tea.”

You put the device down, taking your mug from her, “Thank you.”

“Of course.” She smiled brighter, causing you to do the same.

“You’re such a softie.”

“The whole world doesn’t need to know.” She snickered.

“Well…” You teased playfully, “Our friends know.”

“Exactly!” She giggles. “Only some people know. But, mostly you.”

You took some sips and set the mug down on your nightstand then you were just staring into space for a few moments before Janis tapped your thigh to get your attention. You looked at her, “Yeah?”

“You good?”

You shrug, a dry chuckle falling from your lips as you picked at the corner of your eye, “Just been a long day, that’s all.”

“Aw.” Janis scooted closer to you, “Want a hug?”

You laughed, just like she hoped you would. A hug, to the both of you meant, you clinging onto her like a koala bear as always. It’s just become your thing after so many years. And given the insane comfort it brought you, it came naturally to Janis to do that for you. Sometimes when you needed it, other times just because. Janis puts her mug down too. Gesturing for you to climb onto her, she says, “Come on. Get on.” A cheeky grin on her face as she urged. You gave in, doing as she told you to. “Thank you.” You muttered as you sat in her lap, arms wrapped around her and chin on her shoulder. “Why do you keep doing this?”

“Because I love you.” She answered readily.

You scoffed, “I know I’m heavier than you are so this cannot be comfortable.”

“Shush.” She said seriously, “I’m strong.”

You smiled to yourself, letting that thought float away. “I’m very comfortable.” She rubs your back, “Hm?”

You nodded, inhaling the familiar scent of her shampoo, the laundry detergent on her clothes, the lingering musk of her perfume. All of those felt like extra hugs around you, allowing you to relax even further.

“For real, though. We’ll be doing this until we’re too old to move.”

“Wouldn’t say no to that.” You replied with a small laugh.

“You’ve never said no to this.” She smiled, unbeknownst to you. Then, she plants a kiss on your shoulder. “You have work tomorrow?”

“I didn’t. Got called in for seven hours tomorrow while I was waiting for you to pick me up from therapy.”

“It’ll be okay.” She says, palm still going up and down on your back. “I’ll make you Spam Musubi for your lunch? Do you want that for lunch?”

“You don’t have to. Sleep in.” You shook your head.

“Baby, I only asked if you wanted that for your lunch at work tomorrow.”

You bite back a laugh, “Yeah, I do.”

“M’kay.”

————

Behind you, you hear the front door opening while you tidied the apartment. Regina and Cady were home and someone was not happy. You hear a bag get tossed to the floor, then you saw it was Regina’s. You powered off the vacuum cleaner and turned around, looking at them, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“That depends. The appointment went really great, but lunch with mom made me want to puke up blood.” Regina snapped.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” You licked your lips, chewing on the lower one and walking over to her.

“We just wanted to wait until everything was stable before telling her. She got mad, and I’m oddly very upset by that.”

Cady rubs her back, “G, breathe. Let that go okay? It’s just your hormones making it a little bit different for you.”

“I’m trying.” Regina sighs, “I just…god, why do I feel so shitty? It’s not our fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Reg.” You gave her shoulder a squeeze, she hugs you from the side.

“I know, baby.” She exhales deeply, giving you a crooked smile, “I’ll be okay. Just gotta tough this one out.”

You nodded, “So…did you guys manage to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“It was a little early, but yeah actually.” Cady nodded.

“Oh, no way.” You gasped. Regina laughs, arm still across your shoulder. “So you guys know?”

They nodded, “Mhm.”

“Do you wanna know?” Regina asked, the smile on her face becoming wider.

You nodded in response, just as eager as your sister was.

“It’s a boy.”

Your eyes went wide, “It’s a boy?! Oh, my god— you were right.”

Cady laughs, “Yeah, she is right. In true Regina fashion.”

“Are you home alone?” Regina noticed.

“Yeah, Janis gets off work at 4:30.”

“Wait…didn’t you have a shift too?”

“Cads, I called in sick. Got someone to replace me.” You admitted. “I just…can’t today.”

“I get it, don’t worry. Take it easy today. Okay?” Cady flashed you a smile, “Should we do takeout for dinner?”

“Ooh.” Regina says, “Can we get Indian food from that place we like? I’m really craving some paneer tikka masala.”

“That sounds so good.” You chimed in.

“Okay!” Cady nodded, “Indian food it is. And y/n, go relax. I can finish vacuuming.”

You threw your hands up in mock defeat, “Alright, alright.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower. I smell like the clinic.” Regina scoffs, pressing a kiss to Cady’s cheek. The redhead laughs a little, “Okay, sweetheart. Be careful in there.”

You went to lay down while waiting for Janis to come home. Cady finished the rest of the chores in the meantime. You also texted Janis to let her know the dinner plan. But you were quick to doze off, Janis was the one who woke you up by walking into the room and changing her clothes. “Hi, honey.” She realises that you’d awoken.

“Hi.” You blocked a yawn with the back of your hand. “How was work?”

“It was…pretty chill. Not busy at all.” Janis shrugged, “You? Feeling any better?”

“No.” You huffed, rolling over onto your side to face her. As she pulled her t-shirt down, she was looking at you.

“Did you take a painkiller at least?” She sat down by you, eyes worried.

“Fuck sciatica.” You groaned, “How the fuck did I even get this?”

She doesn’t say anything, but her hand rests on your side, her thumb smoothing over the fabric of your shirt. “I’ll go grab the ibuprofen, okay? Sit up for me.”

You gave in, but was unhappy about. More so when you couldn’t go to work the next day too. When day three rolled around, you had enough of it and forced yourself to go to work. Let’s just say this— you wanted to cry. So much.

————

As Regina’s second trimester coming to a close, she and Cady were beginning to come up with a birth plan. While you obviously couldn’t be much help, you were still around and paying attention— whether intentionally or otherwise.

Coming home from your shift, the couple was still in discussion. “Hey!” Cady greets, “You’re home.”

“Hi, baby.” Regina’s ears perked up.

“Hey, guys.” You replied, kicking off your shoes and placing them on the shoerack. “Bought dinner. Pizza and cheesy bread.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Regina grins, “I love you.”

“Woah, what’s going on?” Janis came home right behind you. “Let the girl breathe, Regina.”

“Love you too, Reg.” You laugh, “But I would really like to go take a shower now.”

“Oh, right. Of course.” She lets go of you, “Hi, Jay.”

“What’s up? I mean, other than you nearly squeezing the oxygen out of your sister.” Janis’ smile became like a smirk as usual.

“Coming up with a birth plan is hardddd.” Regina grumbled.

“Not sure if I’d be much help, but what do you two have in mind so far?” Janis walks over to the couch, Regina followed on her tail and sat down.

“I would rather have her be in a hospital for but she doesn’t want to be in a hospital so that option’s out.” Cady began.

“It’s so serious and sterile.” Regina reasoned.

“Yeah. Well, I get it. I just want to play it safe, you know? I don’t want anything that isn’t supposed to happen, happening.”

“I get that too, but I just can’t see myself being comfortable in an environment like that— at all.” Regina continued.

“Since the both of you have been discussing this for the last week— nonstop, might I suggest a birth centre? Because usually, it’d be in the hospital’s compound. At least the one I saw.”

“You saw—”

“You guys left her laptop open that day!” Janis chuckles, “Seriously, I think it’d be a good fit for you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna…go.”

Regina laughs, rolling her eyes. “Don’t fall in the shower.”

“We won’t.” Janis went along with it.

Cady leans her head on Regina’s shoulder, “Regina.”

“What? It’s slippery in there.” Regina smirked.

You hear the bathroom door open, then someone walks in. “Janis?”

“Yup.” She answered, pulling the shower curtain open. “Hi, baby~”

You shut the water off, then turned around to face her, “Hi.”

“Oh, no you don’t have to stop your shower.” She says, turning the water back on for you.

“Why are you in here with me, then?” You asked knowingly.

She smirked, a small laugh falls from her lips, “You know me. I love making you feel good.”

“I also know you’re very straightforward. But yet I blush like an idiot every time you do this.” You bite back a laugh.

“And I love that. You’re always gonna be a little intimidated by me? Good.” She teased.

“Intimidated? No way. Flustered, sure.” You retorted.

She laughs lowly, eyeing you up and down. Her hands almost too naturally finding their way to your breasts and squeezing them. Her finger circles your areola skilfully, eventually tugging onto the teat between two fingers. Her gaze was focused on you, she quirked a brow as her fingers moved…awaiting your reaction. Janis knew you, she knew that you were so, so sensitive there at the moment. During this time of the month. And that it was way too easy to rile you up. Now Janis was flush against you, her front pressing against yours. Her hand, sneaks its way down to your cunt, expertly gliding up and down your folds.

“Just as we expected, ipo.”

“Fuck...” You laughed breathily.

————

“Wait— Cady. Where are we going?!” You froze in your seat as you glared at the girl in the driver’s seat.

“We’re at the airport.” Janis laughed, absolutely amused.

“I know that but why the heck—”

“Because,” Janis took out both your passport and hers, “We are going to New York City.”

“No.” Your mouth hung agape.

“Surprise.” Janis shot back, “Come on, let’s go.”

“But Regina—”

“Regina is fine.” Cady quickly assured, “You’ll be back before you know it. She’s my wife.”

“Well, she’s my sister. And six months pregnant.” You sassed.

“Ooh.” Janis cackled. Cady had a similar reaction, “I promise you we’ll be calling and texting whenever.”

You ended up laughing because you could no longer keep a straight face, “Okay. I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“Bye, have fun!” Cady hugs both you and Janis, then checks that you’ve taken everything you needed.

The flight was only about two hours so it went by quickly. You watched a movie, Janis napped for about an hour. Then, she was snacking and shared it with you. You and Janis took the Airtrain into Manhattan from Jersey. It didn’t take long either, and wasn’t too bad since she packed light for the two of you. After leaving the luggages in the townhouse— thanks, Gretchen. It was time for lunch.

“So…after lunch, I have someplace cool I wanna take you.” Janis mentioned, excited.

“Okay.” You nodded, your smile matching her excitement.

“Are you cold?” Janis noticed.

“I already have my flannel —”

“Wear your coat.” She insisted. You complied, “Okay.”

Satisfied, she doesn’t say anything else and continued eating her lunch. You do the same, of course…all while looking out the window and taking in the hustle and bustle of this beloved city.

With a matcha latte in hand, you and Janis walked through street after street eventually getting on the subway. “We’re going to an art gallery.” She revealed, “They’re showing my art.”

“You told me that was next month. Back home.”

Janis explained, “There’s been a change of plans. Decided to do that here instead.”

Apparently, you two got there right as the exhibition opened. There were a handful of staff around, a few people streamed in after you guys arrived. “Oh. Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful.” You stopped at the first painting, holding onto Janis’ hand. She gives your hand a squeeze, “Already impressed?”

“I’m always impressed with your art.” You brushed your thumb over hers. It was a painting of a beach, you immediately recognised it. It was her favourite beach back in Hawai’i. The next one was a sketch of a couple of ice creams. Your favourite flavour and Janis’. You really liked this detail. Artwork three— embroidered leis. “You can touch it.” Janis bites back a laugh.

“The sign—”

“Doesn’t apply to you.” She swung your hand as she pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“I really, really love all of this already.”

“Good news is, after this, we’re getting most of them back.”

“Oh— my god. Jan, this…this is the carnival we went to. Our first date.”

Every single painting was…about you. Hawai’i— that trip you guys took with Cady and Regina. The carnival— first date. Why? Janis had artwork more than these that were just about you.

Even those plums she gave you when you were so sick with that stomach bug were drawn. That god awful two days was captured in that art. The pure chaos, and the calm after that storm. You could not look away. Now, another embroidered piece— your frog squishmallow and Janis’ one and only stuffed animal: an orange tabby cat she’d gotten as a kid.

A photo: the North Shore gymnasium. Confetti, Deck of cards and dice on the floor. You gasped, “Oh.” Sniffling, you squeezed her hand.

Papier-mâché of Fruit Loop. That made you chuckle. It was adorable. “Are those paper wrappers from the taco place?”

“Yep.” She confirms, “Because he ate our taco that time we had dinner with Regina and Cady.”

You felt her turn into a different direction so you followed her lead. A dimmer section. The first photo melted your heart from the get-go. She must’ve gotten this one from your Mom. It was a photo of Regina and Janis’ first play date. And already, you were stuck to Janis’ side, holding her hand.

Then it was a photo from the first birthday they celebrated together. Again, you were there. Barely, but there. By Janis.

Their first day of elementary school photo.

First day of middle school.

Night of the sleepover that changed everything.

The next few photos were a little heavy, a couple of them you’ve not seen before. But it showed you even more vulnerability from Janis. Even then, they were gorgeous photos that really spoke a thousand words she wasn’t able to at the time.

Then…a framed newspaper from the day you started high school. Following that, a screenshot of your chat with Janis that night before the carnival.

That wasn’t the end, nope. She had you in tears, full on. A photo of you that she took while you were in that Ferris wheel with her. You’ve seen some shots from here but never this one. The little description block says, ‘So peaceful despite the noise of the carnival. You never would’ve guessed she was terrified of heights. Here’s where I fell in love, because at that moment, all I could see was her.’ You leaned onto Janis as you stood rooted to the ground, looking at this particular photograph for a little longer.

A photo of you, asleep, hugging that squishmallow she got you. ‘You crush on the version of them you first lay your eyes on, but how things go depends on whether you’re tripping over each other’s stuff or unpacking them together. I know that little girl in her is safe with me.’

A framed letter from you. ‘Janis, happy birthday. I love you more than anything. I know, it’s easy to say that. But I mean that, and I hope you know that. When I’m with you, everything feels so different. You make me feel loved, and seen and heard, all the things I never was before I met you. It feels like I’ve known you for a lifetime. I have so much to say to you, but I can never really articulate it. I’ve never really been good at that. So I hope you feel that through my hugs and my kisses. Maybe we have known each other for a lifetime, and more. Maybe our current lives are our future selves’ past lives. So, thank you for showing me that there’s so much good in the world in the simple things…coming on this journey together with me, living a life that we’re proud of. That we never waste a single moment of. That is filled with precious moments and meaningful lessons. With you, I would go through it all over again. And again. And again. Because you, Aleka Janis ‘Imi’ike, are my girl. I love you so very much, ipo.’

“I look ridiculous right now.” You muttered, wiping away your tears.

She sniffled, rubbing your shoulder, “No, you don’t. Okay, let’s walk.”

A painting of a hospital wristband. It seemingly had your details on it but scribbled away. A band aid stuck on a part of it, and a couple of stickers. Little things from that hospital visit were on there. That was from your first hospital stay ever. You were absolutely terrified and was way too anxious. Janis was with you throughout the whole three days— she didn’t leave your side once. You had to get your appendix removed, and that hospitalisation was nothing short of chaotic. You remember being scared and confused but everything was okay because Janis was there. She kept you company, chatted with you, watched Friends with you, made sure you ate, held your hair back every single time you had to throw up from the side effect of the anaesthetic. Janis made sure you knew you weren’t alone.

A photo collage of photos from the past valentine’s days. Photos of you and Janis on a date every year you’ve been together— In Chicago, Hawai’i, New York, Boston, Philadelphia, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Queenstown.

“I literally— okay, I can’t stop crying.” You hid your face in her shoulder. “Can we stop just—”

Janis kisses the crown of your head, calmly leading you to the next artwork. Painting of a flower arch— yellow hibiscus and sweet pea. You squint, trying to rid your eyes of the tears. “Uh—”

Janis lets go off you, you turned to face her but she was gone. The space next to you was pitch black. But it didn’t take more than a second of two for that space to be illuminated by warm, cozy lights. Fairy lights.

Someone held onto your hand, forcing you to look down. It was Janis, knelt down on one knee. “y/n, I cannot imagine a life without you. I truly feel like I’ve known you for lifetimes…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t wish to go through all of this with anyone else. It’s always been you, my love. It’s always been you.”

The wall behind Janis got relit— it was a projection of all the artworks you just saw lined up, some having one focal point. A letter. Letters that spelled out ‘Marry me?’

“Will you, y/n y/l/n, do me the honour of becoming my partner for life?”

You were sobbing at this point, overcome with emotions — mainly disbelief and joy.

“Yes. Yes!” You cried, letting out a shaky exhale. Janis slides the ring into your ring finger then quickly got up to hug you. You hugged her so tightly, “Oh, my God. I love you. I love you so much.”

She rubs your back, pulled away from the embrace and pulls you back in for a long kiss. “I love you more than you know.”

“Oh, my god.” You mumbled, “I can’t— I can’t believe this.” Janis holds your face in her hands, brushing the tears away.

“Surprise.”

You laughed tearfully, nodding your head. Letting out a heavy breath, you hugged her again. “I’m so in love with you.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

The series is back!:’)

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis ‘imi’ike x reader #x reader #female reader #reader insert #mean girls 2024 #mgmm fics #wlw romance #wlw fluff #multi part fic #crush #lgbtqia #queer fiction #wlw fanfiction #gxg #character x reader

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