#goombas aren't harmless

[lore-of-the-mushroom-kingdom]

Wild Goombas

So there is a location you can go to in Super Mario Odyssey located in the Mushroom Kingdom. When you read about it in the brochure it's established as a place overun by Goombas. The place is refered to as Goombas Woods because it has a bunch of Wild Goombas in it. But something I wonder is how exactly do wild Goombas work?

The reason these Goombas are called wild Goombas and are Goombas that are clearly not working for Bowser. But the also attack Mario and the brochure mentions having to deal with these fearsome beasts. So are these Goombas like feral? Because we know while there are Goombas that work for Bowser who are traitors, but we also know friendly Goombas exist throughout the world including ones that didn't betray the Mushroom Kingdom. We also know Goombas are just as intelligent as any other character in this world.

Side note honestly creatures that aren't sapient are very rare in the Mario World. The Wild Goombas are obviously living in the Mushroom Kingdom but seem to be generally aggressive. So I question are they feral?

Another instance of something like this the Gloombas. In Paper Mario 64 you can come across a species of Goombas called Gloombas. These Goombas are described as nasty Goombas that live in the tunnels of Toad Town. They aren't described as working for Bowser, or residents of the Mushroom Kingdom. They are attack Mario and friends as well seemingly acting similar to the Wild Goombas. So are these Gloombas wild Gloombas?

[yakkolicious-writing]

Don't Go Chucking My Heart

Genre: Crack, Romance Fandom: Super Mario Bros. Central Relationship: Luigi x Chuckya Wordcount: 1,704 words Summary: In the greatest love story since Twilight, Luigi, number two hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, finds himself smitten with a Chuckya, a minion of Bowser's with hidden depths. Can the two overcome the odds and realize that they aren't so different? Warnings: None Rating: G. Suitable for all audiences.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54872599

This fic was inspired by @silly-lil-lee. I hope you enjoy!

Luigi stood in front of the hole in the airship. He knew he couldn’t; he knew he shouldn’t. But yet, something in his heart said that he had to. He must. Luigi jumped into the air, slowly fluttering down by kicking his legs, and landed in the hole. Inside of the hole was a cannon. The cannon raised itself, Luigi inside of it, and aimed itself before firing. Luigi flew through the rainbow ring, and then, he grabbed onto a flagpole. He looked down, and there, he saw him: the hunkiest hunk to ever hunk. There, he saw Chuckya.

Luigi admired Chuckya’s round, perfectly spherical body, with an amethyst hue that shone in the sunlight. His diamond orbs were full of passion, and his ball-like antenna was as red as a cherry: and it looked good enough to eat too. Perhaps the boxing gloves he wore on his hands weren’t the most welcoming, but Luigi didn’t mind it. He knew what it was like to wear gloves all the time and be ostracized from society because of it. The Toads of the Mushroom Kingdom never treated him with kindness. To them, he was always “green Mario” or “the green man.” Even Princess Peach didn’t respect him. Maybe he didn’t put in as much work as Mario, but he still helped. A “thank you” or even a tiny slice of cake would be nice every once in a while. But alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Peach was always going to prefer Mario to him. It was a blessing in some ways, but a curse in others. Luigi may not have been interested in Peach, but he wanted someone to love, and there was something irresistibly charming about that Chuckya.

“No,” Luigi thought, clinging to the flagpole like he clung to heteronormativity, “I can’t.”

Like Romeo’s feelings for Juliet, Luigi knew his feelings for Chuckya were forbidden. After all, Chuckya worked for the enemy, that fearsome foe Bowser. Sure, Chuckya may not have been Bowser, but what would Mario think? Mario was a great older brother, but like all great older brothers, he was prone to worrying about his little brother. Bowser was always up to no good, which gave Mario reason to think that Chuckya was also always up to no good. Besides, Luigi was always being bullied in the Mushroom Kingdom by those callous Toads. What would they think if he came back with Chuckya? Mario would at least give him a chance, but the Toads would never do something so kind. Luigi could come back with someone as harmless as one of those pink female Goombas, who could easily be crushed underneath one’s feet, and the Toads would still relentlessly bully Luigi for it. Unlike a Goomba, however, Chuckya could very easily fight back. He was known for his violent tendencies. He would pick up people and throw them in a random direction of his choice: Mario knew this firsthand. It was why he told Luigi to stay away from Chuckya. But yet, Luigi was the moth to the flame that was Chuckya. Chuckya’s magnetic personality drew Luigi closer.

Eventually, Luigi decided he had to make his move. He slid down the flagpole, catching Chuckya’s attention. Chuckya scratched his head.

“What are you doing here?” Chuckya asked, even though he had no mouth.

“Oh! Um, well, I, uh,” Luigi stuttered.

“Whatever,” Chuckya said, “I’m on duty. And now, it’s chucking time.”

Chuckya slid towards Luigi and picked him up. He held him firmly yet gently in his boxing glove-covered hands. Luigi could tell that Chuckya wasn’t going to drop him. He felt so secure in his hands. Maybe one day, he could feel this same way again, and Chuckya could have less violent intentions.

Chuckya turned around and tossed Luigi through the rainbow ring as if he were a basketball. Luigi soared through the air like a green-clad missile before landing back on the airship.

“Oof!” Luigi cried; his eyes were wide like saucers, and his jaw was clenched.

Luigi stood up and dusted off his overalls before jumping back into the cannon hole. Luigi shot back through the rainbow ring and grabbed onto the flagpole once more. Chuckya looked up and gasped.

“How did you get back here?” Chuckya asked, surprised.

“It’s very easy,” Luigi said, “but since you’re throwing me like I’m a ragdoll, maybe it’sa best I don’t tell you.”

“Fair point,” Chuckya replied, crossing his arms.

Luigi slid down the flagpole once more, and Chuckya sighed.

“Look, man,” Chuckya began, “I’m on duty, and my job is to chuck people. If I chuck ‘em away, the big guy pays me the good money, and the good money pays better than any other job. If you come back again, I’ll have to tell him, and he might fire me. I’m already struggling to make rent, and if I get fired… I don’t know what’ll happen to me.”

“Oh,” Luigi said, “why can’t you just lie to him?”

“I’m not a good liar,” Chuckya explained, “and besides, the big guy doesn’t like liars.”

“Oh… that’s so sad…”

Chuckya’s eyes grew softer, but he couldn’t let himself go soft. The only thing the big guy hated more than liars was softies. He rapidly shook his head and put on a fake glare.

“I don’t need your pity!” he shouted.

“Oh, I’mma sorry,” Luigi replied, cowering, “but… do you want my pity?”

“What?” Chuckya asked, raising an eyelid.

“Do you want my pity, Chuckya?”

Chuckya sighed and crossed his arms. A single, shiny teardrop rolled down his face.

“Well, I didn’t know anyone would ever feel bad for me,” he explained, “it’s just… I hate being a minion. Sure, I’m good at chucking things. I was great at the shot put back in high school, but chucking things isn’t all that I want to do with my life. I wanna see the world, go backpacking, meet a nice person and settle down when I feel I’ve done enough, and then, I could open a gym or something.”

“Oh, you have-a so many dreams,” Luigi said.

“Oh, I got tons of dreams,” Chuckya replied, “it’s just that I was born as the wrong species in the wrong kingdom. Maybe I’d be traveling right now if I was a Toad born in the Mushroom Kingdom. Instead, I was born a Chuckya in the Bowser Kingdom…”

It was at this moment that Luigi knew what he had to do. He ran up to Chuckya and embraced him tightly. Chuckya gasped.

“What are you doing?” Chuckya asked.

“I’m giving you a hug,” Luigi explained.

Chuckya didn’t know how to feel about this new form of touch. Chuckya lived in Bowser’s Kingdom, where hugging was forbidden; the turtle king didn’t want to promote kindness in his army of coldblooded killers. Yet this hug, as Luigi called it, felt so nice. Chuckya didn’t want it to end, but if Bowser found out that he had hugged someone he was supposed to chuck, he could lose his livelihood. Chuckya groaned, causing Luigi to let go of him.

“Oh, I’mma sorry,” Luigi said.

“No, it’s alright,” Chuckya replied, “I’m sorry. I… actually really appreciated the hug. It’s just… oh, what’s the big guy gonna think? He hates hugs!”

“Oh, well, that shell of his definitely would make hugging hard,” Luigi suggested with a giggle.

“No, no, it’s not even that. He doesn’t like it when his employees get… affectionate. We have to be able to stop Mario at a moment’s notice, we don’t have time to be nice!”

“Oh no. I never realized how badly you guys had it.”

“I just want to do more with my life! There has to be more to life than chucking for minimum wage!”

“Do you want to run away with me, Chuckya?”

“What?”

“I want more in life too, Chuckya.”

“Really? You live in the Mushroom Kingdom! It has to be great over there, especially since you’re one of its heroes!”

“Not to the Toads I’m not. They just see me as Mario’s annoying little brother. They call me ‘green Mario’ and get upset whenever they see me. The princess doesn’t treat me much better. I’m not entitled to love just because I help save her, but I don’t even get a ‘thank you’ most of the time. I never get a slice of cake. I don’t know what her cakes taste like. Mario is my only friend, but sometimes he’s so busy he doesn’t even have time to say ‘hi’ to me.”

“Aw, that is sad… maybe the Mushroom Kingdom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either.”

“Yeah. We should find somewhere else to be. Somewhere where we don’t have to worry about this silly game that Mario and Bowser play. Somewhere where we can just… be. Somewhere where I don’t have to be the sidekick, and somewhere where you don’t have to be the guy who chucks people.”

“You know what? Let’s do it. If the big guy sends people to find me, I’m gonna tell ‘em to shove a stick up his-”

Before Chuckya could finish his unclean thoughts, Luigi put a finger over his mouth.

“Don’t,” he said softly, “this story’s-a rated G.”

“Oh,” Chuckya replied, “good point.”

Luigi looked down from the cobblestone platform.

“I might need a little help getting down,” Luigi explained.

“I can carry you,” Chuckya offered.

“Oh, I’da like that,” Luigi said.

With that, Chuckya picked up Luigi, as if he were going to chuck him. However, he didn’t throw him. Instead, he slid to the edge of the cobblestone platform and jumped off. Holding Luigi tightly, though not tightly enough to crush him, the two flew through the air, landing on green grass. Chuckya set Luigi down, took off his cap, and ruffled his hair gently, making the green-clad plumber laugh. Chuckya set Luigi’s cap back on his head and offered him his hand. Luigi took it, and together, they ran as far away from the Mushroom Kingdom as they could. Chuckya finally had someone who understood what it was like to want more in life, and Luigi finally had Chuckya’s heart, and he knew now that he wouldn’t go chucking it.

APRIL FOOLS!

You have been PRANKED! BAMBOOZLED, even! I don't actually ship Luigi with Chuckya, I'm just a normal Luaisy shipper. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this!