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#good job me for getting my shit in order
jrueships · 3 months
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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halfbit · 3 months
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fun guessing game you get to have with your family when you're mixed: was the shit they pulled racially motivated or not
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cuyberpunk · 8 months
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even duolingo has given up on me
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mistress-light · 10 months
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Whelp, I am officially overworked since last week. Had a breakdown, couldn’t think, felt empty as hell. But, here I am getting there.
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gibbearish · 10 months
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oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with
#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my#id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that#and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!!#like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box????#she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because#its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25#for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now#so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box?????#and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making#up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance#and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility#which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays#course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country#and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids#so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this#like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do#so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too#(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job)#but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to#give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO#ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking#my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre#beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig#and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed#except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird#why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember#and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation#like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even#occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them#shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name
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dirt-str1der · 1 year
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Do you consider any of the non protagonist yakuza girls well writen?
I think none of them had rights
#Thanks for the ask !#like you have to actively like girls to notice them theyre inconsequential#also who is this why are you sewing discorse in my inbox#i spelled discourse wrong. my mom ordered the dog trainers to train ollie right now because he is insane and hes eating soo many treats#not because hes a good boy but because they are tossing that shit at him#they were literally almost there with yasuko#i thought her story was so fucking interesting ...#like its really not a fault of the girls they are all pretty good characters in their own right#like we have a variety of them too. we had miss tatsu who was out there turning guys inside out but she randomly had to go get kidnapped in#order to complete kiryus training arc. like how funny would it be for the whole thing to be staged and miss tatsus like Lol good job kiryu#for passing my test. oh this guy ? yeah he did get the better of me but i kicked the shit out of him then roped him into my schemes. dont#you think practical application is more effective than training ? anyway theres nothing more i can teach you but you can come train whenevr#we didnt even get an in game appearance for yuko but apparently she was a massive troll but too cute to get into any real trouble#mirei was. . . i literally said ‘are you kidding me’ when they revealed what happened to her like seriously ? is this real ? they did#that ? like literally she should have been living it up in cahoots with katsuya and being so sexy and divorced forever. she should have#faked her death because every single parentsl figure haruka had leaves her. and god haruka like honest to god i love that she just ran off#like that i thought it was so kiryu of her to be an absent father. but also my friends have all brought up very good points which is that#haruka should NOT have gone back to morning glory like she should have stayed in ono michi with her loser girlfriend whos a boyfriend with#her new extended family and only go back every now and then to see her siblings honestly i hated that .... like girl spread your wings ..#choose where you want to roost stop going back !! just get out !!!!!! its literally okay to tell the rest of your family ‘i dont wanna wipe#your asses forever i love you guys but im out of here’. and god i .. as much as i loved y0 makoto should have left her shitassed husband#girl had a whole ass baby with him ... find someone better im sorry ..!!! like whatever i know that thst was the ‘best’ option for her and#she deserves financial stability and a rich doctor husband but she also deserves crazy sex with a girl with one eye#i think what yumi did was awesome but like. actually i have no complaints about yumi. wait no i do. kazama was a shitass for marrying her#off to that politician because he couldnt stand having a woman in his house. im now thinking of that unecessarily hot doctor from y0 wtf was#her deal. and god the unnecessarily hot cho-han lady from y5.. oh wait ako had rights. she fell in love with kiryu at first sight then got#over him which is literally the best thing a girl could do for herself. PLUS she throws molotovs and is generally awesome#i cant remember any other girl. oh yeah god reina. .. reina .... god milky though .... i think she was fantastic and i want her badly. and#yayoi fucking disappeared after a certain point in time and ran off to another city with her baby daddy and sugared him to open a bar#well its not canon but im certain thats what happened because she literally went radio silence like girl where are you ....
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greppelheks · 1 year
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I've got a busy week ahead with four days of work, a job interview, an appointment with my therapist, two days of celebrating my birthday, lots of packages to pick up (I'm getting my shit together) and lots of grocery shopping, baking and cooking for my birthday.
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i am so happy i will be in colorado tomorrow instead of putting up with this awful ass warm weather georgia has so hatefully given us this week
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eri-blogs-life · 2 years
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i can’t even cry good right now cause my nose is all stuffed up so it’s hard to breath so i can’t just let myself go and bawl my eyes out
#my food order hasn't arrived yet and i'm low on fuckin... blood sugar or whatever#whenever i miss a meal i get sad#and i mean technically it's really just whenever anything deviates from my norm i get sad#and sometimes when things are going normally i get sad#depression's a bitch#i can't bring myself to call up the restaurant and ask about the status of my order#cause i'm too fucking depressed and anxious god damn it#i feel#very#very...#worthless#like for real what's even the point of me being around y'know?#shit job that is actively not good for humanity#shit physical and mental health#shit financial situation#got good friends but i don't feel like i can rely on them in times like this or any time ever#like i feel like if i'm not positive 100% of the time i'm around friends they're gonna leave me#my family sitch is .. okay but not amazing#love life's DOA#and now i'm sick on top of that with a sick that hasn't left me for like two fucking months#and the worst thing#THE WORST THING#is I KNOW all of that is a fucking lie#i know my fucking bad mental health depressed-ass brain is going to negative extremes#like yeah a bunch of shit is not so good right now but there's also presumably a lot of good stuff#but my brain absolutely will not latch on to any of that no matter what i think#no matter how i try#and knowing that i know that... and that depression isn't something you can just get over or cure or whatever#knowing that i'm gonna be stuck feeling like this for my whoel fucking life...#definitely makes me wish my life were not so fucking long
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asbestieos · 2 years
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actually no i work so hard bcos im perpetually paranoid of being fired 😭😭😭 i need to give my manager so many reasons why she NEEDS me
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dragqueenpentheus · 2 years
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just swept and vacuumed and mopped and showered and !!!!!!
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spikeyjo · 4 days
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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hopeheartfilia · 19 days
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huh maybe im experiencing some self confidence issues
#i think i can brute orce the fuck out of this#cbt all up in my cranium#anyway. im smart and im perfectly decent at msot stuff#im charming and hot#i totally believe all of that#yeah do that thing when you dont do the negative self language#fuck that guilt that is trying to be the ground below your feet and closing your troat#i fail at shit so what#im still good at stuff#uhh im having a violent reaction to this#so its definelty necessary#okay okay lets go slow. i have nice tits. my hair is fluffy. my eyes are pretty#onto the harder stuff#i am nice and i have people that love me#i can draw well. it looks good when i draw. it looks good. i am not wasting my life#i try my best. i can survive in the modern world. i am not reliant on my mother#i am not fucking up my brother irreversably. im trying my best to help him grow up safe and loved#my family cares for me and doesnt actually think im a failure that is failing them specifically#because im not. im doing as good as i could be and it is good enough. im good enough.#oof i feel weird okay okay lets keep at i#dial it back thou. I cook well and i am organised#that sounds like shit with my adhd but i try and i have so many systems in place and#when you put strain on the systems you see that i have systems and they are ridicukous but they hold#where my peers dont. none of them have even a semi ordered calendar#i can and will get a decent job this month and it will be fine with everything else at home#i will move out and its alright to want to move out#im not being some sort of ungratefull child that is leaving my family in a hard situation if i do#and if my mother deckdes to cut all contact because i want to mvoe out then she will be in the wrong not me#im trying so hard to be there when ny brother needs me and im not that good at it but#im still trying and thats good enough even if im not perfect at it
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helielune · 27 days
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#i was like lets make a cute little thing really quick and then i tunnel visioned for.... 20 mins?#don't open the tags unless you're prepared for a wall of text#my art#another one of those images which uncomfortably straddle the line between 'my scribbles' and 'my actual work that i put real effort into'#anyway this is me after i was like let's make a proof of concept for a productivity app it'll be fun and fast#and in order to make a full proof of concept i went back to the initial thoughts i had about the app (which i wrote down of course)#so i could. y'know. get the full concept down. and then i read like thousands of words of completely disorganized spitballing. head spinnin#but also did you know that me from what. like 3 years ago? shares remarkably similar ideals as me today. who would have thought really.#i had forgotten about half of the stuff that i originally wanted in the app and now my app idea is slightly bigger#(my already big mind palace app is already. big)#and maybe you'd be like 'wow okay that just means you grew up and developed so you don't need them anymore!' false sense of security it's#actually because i am no longer a student and also have no job so my daily life is different but my work ethic (lack thereof??)#is still the. same. so if i were ever to work in a society again i would need. them. most likely#and the other half of the stuff that i originally wanted are things that i unwittingly wrote into my recent drafts so yeah i got kinda#blindsided by myself back there. 'oh shit YOU were the one who came up with this first. wtf i thought i was being original and innovative'#slight exaggeration bc what im making is like 98% clone and 2% not clone (but maybe still 99% clone bc there might be another app out there#that i just haven't heard of but is like exactly the same as what i am thinking in my head)a nyways#okay yeah uhhhhhhh so i'll be back at some point with more fun words good night fellows#also did you know that ms paint has layers now (not that new news) and also doesn't let you save in layers that's crazy shit
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neverendingford · 1 month
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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sukisukidaisuki66 · 2 months
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Damn it I’m so fucking nervous
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