#good god i can't believe i haven't posted to this blog in months and THIS is what brings me out of retirement

[goldenwilliamson]

patience | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: finally some smut on this blog, hoorah. some short fluffy smut bc leah looked way too good in that suit and i'm craving someone to strap me down rn, so here we go...

summary: SMUT 18+, reader is waiting at home while leah is at an award show, but she is watching on tv and sees how good leah looks and gets rather impatient. when leah gets home she makes it worth the wait. top!leah and strap ons.

word count: 1.8k

You watched the TV in awe when you saw your girlfriend step into view of the camera for the first time. She'd showed off her suit to you on its hanger months ago, but seeing her wearing it was a different experience entirely. She had paired it with a tie, which was new, and it was working for you.

As soon as you caught a glimpse of her, your impatience kicked in. You sent her a text immediately telling her how good she looks and how as much as you love the suit, you can't wait to take it off her as soon as she arrives home.

It was interesting for you, being Leah's girlfriend. Even though you were a well-known footballer in your own right, Leah was England captain, and was invited to many events all over the UK for her service to the Lionesses.

While you and Leah don't keep your relationship a secret, you're certainly very private when it comes to sharing your lives together. The two of you will walk a carpet together at events which you're both invited to, but you would prefer to let Leah do her own thing at events which she has been invited to on her own. Opting out of being the plus one means that you are often left to watch on from the sidelines, which you do with no complaints.

The fans are very attentive when it comes to analysing photo dumps on yours and Leah's instagrams, looking at each post closely for signs that you two were still together. You'd been together for years now, but people were always speculating about your relationship status, especially since Leah had become so well-known after the Euros.

Tonight was one of those nights where Leah was doing her own thing, invited to attend the award night for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year. You watched on the whole night and cheered for Mary when she won, knowing she was so deserving of an award like this. By the time the night was drawing to an end, you were starting to get tired, but Leah called you from the car on her way home which energised you.

'You're still awake for me?' She asked, her voice coming through deep and rough as she murmured through the phone.

'I am now,' you say, but Leah can hear the exhaustion in your voice.

'Mm,' Leah hums, 'I'll be home soon, but if you're tired you can go to sleep baby.'

'No,' you say immediately, pushing yourself to sit upright in your bed, 'I need to see you.'

Leah chuckles, making you smile, 'Good, because since you messaged earlier I haven't stopped thinking about what I'm going to do to you when I see you.'

'God,' you groan, already feeling the wetness pooling between your legs, 'How long will you be?'

'Only about 15 minutes, be patient for me love,' she says.

'Okay, I'll see you soon,' you say before exchanging quick love you's and hanging up.

It's an agonising 15 minutes to have to wait for your girlfriend to arrive home. You decide to make do with the time and slip your baby blue coloured lingerie set on that you know Leah loves, then you crawl back into the sheets and sit on your phone as you wait.

You can hear Leah's keys in the front door and her purposeful steps as she moves through the house, quickly towards your bedroom. You move so that you're laying on your side on top of the sheets, propped up on your elbow.

When Leah steps into the doorway, meeting your eyes with a smile, you shake your head. You can't believe how sexy she looks, how assertive and dominant this suit makes her appear. Even though you both have a dominant side, you can already sense that tonight you will do whatever Leah asks you to.

She has you stepping out of bed and reaching for her the second she enters the room.

'Sorry to keep you waiting,' Leah says quickly before you pull her close by the knot of her tie and press your lips against hers. She responds right away, holding you close by the back of your head and letting her other hand fall firmly on your waist, pushing you back towards the bed.

When the back of your legs hit the mattress you sit down, spreading your legs wide so Leah can stand between them. Your fingers find the buttons of her blazer, unbuttoning it. Leah shrugs it off her shoulders and lets the fabric fall to the floor.

You take in the sight before you, just Leah in some trousers, a white button up, and a tie.

'God, you look so good Lee,' you tell her, kissing her fabric covered stomach.

'Do you like the tie?' She asks, and you immediately take it with both hands, running it through your fingers.

'I love it. It's good for this,' you tug on it lightly, bringing Leah's face down towards you. She takes the opportunity to plant kisses down the side of your neck, and across your shoulder.

While Leah is still standing, you reach for her waistband, unbuttoning her trousers so they also fall to the floor, allowing her to step out of them. She's left in her top and tie as you wriggle back on the mattress, giving Leah room to join you on the bed.

However, instead of following you, Leah makes a move toward your wardrobe on the other side of the room.

'Where you going?' You ask, already knowing the answer.

'Gonna get something,' Leah says simply, and you know that she is going to get one of your toys out of the dresser.

'What are you thinking?' You ask curiously, but Leah doesn't respond. You just lay back on the mattress as you listen to her rifling through the drawer to find what she's looking for.

When you hear her moving around some more, you look up and see she is pulling on her strap. She has also removed the shirt and tie so she is just standing there wearing nothing but her bra and the strap. The air feels thick and your heart beats loudly in your ears. You can't think of much else at this stage besides how much you want to have Leah inside of you.

'Is this what you want darling?' She asks, sliding her hand up and down the length of the dildo as she steps closer to the bed.

You nod like an idiot, 'Yes.'

While a devilish smirk, she crawls up the mattress until she's hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you again. You hold onto her lower back, pulling her lower body close to you as you roll your hips upwards, begging for contact.

Leah leans close to your ear, biting down lightly on your earlobe before whispering, 'You want me to fuck you then?'

'God, please, yes,' you say, grabbing at the dildo and trying to steer it in the right direction.

'Take these off first,' Leah pulls back, releasing your grip and moving to slip your underwear down your legs.

When she moves closer again she dives her head down between your legs, kissing you around your entrance, and then finally pressing one kiss firmly against your clit, making you moan.

'Need you,' you groan.

'Mm,' Leah moans at the sound of your desperation, 'You've been such a good patient girl, waiting all night for me.'

As she says this, she runs the tip of the dick through your folds, listening to how wet you are.

'Too long,' you say, not wanting to wait a moment longer.

'I know, baby, but I'm here now,' she says, as she begins to press down into you.

As Leah rolls her hips deeper, your eyes squeeze shut while your mouth falls open, moaning in pleasure.

'Look at me,' she tells you, and you open your eyes to see her focused face.

You reach your hand up to where her eyebrows are firmly drawn together, and you run your thumb gently over the creases between her brow, giving her permission to relax into the moment.

'Serious face,' you say affectionately.

'Shhh,' she quiets your teasing with a kiss, moving her lips against yours rhythmically as she begins to slowly thrust into you.

Moans and words of affirmation roll off your tongue, and Leah relishes in the sound, wanting nothing more than to make you come.

She adopts the perfect pace and finds the right spot with ease, each thrust making you slip closer to your orgasm.

'You're such a good girl, taking it so well,' Leah praises you, turning you on even more.

'Feels so good,' you say, struggling to find any other words to say.

Leah continues her movements, not stopping for a second. Her eyes are trained on you, watching how you get lost in the feeling of pleasure taking over your entire body.

'Slow down,' you ask, knowing that some long, deep thrusts will get you to the edge.

Leah does as you ask, re-positioning herself so her forearm is digging into the mattress, propping her up. She uses her other arm to wrap around your thigh and open your legs wider, allowing her to sink deeper into you.

'Fuck!' You moan loudly.

'Are you going to come for me like this?' Leah asks.

'Yes,' you say, your head rolling back on the pillow as your hands grip tightly around Leah's torso, assisting her movement.

'My pretty girl, want to watch how you come on my cock,' Leah says, her words driving you closer to your high.

'Lee,' you moan, voice breathy, 'I'm so close.'

'Good girl, come for me now darling,' Leah says, and this time her words tip you over the edge.

Your back arches and the waves of pleasure roll over you as Leah continues to gently thrust into you, letting you ride out your full orgasm.

'Oh my god,' you sigh, opening your eyes to see Leah watching you with pure adoration. Slowly once your breathing has settled, she pulls out of you and sits back, taking the strap off her legs and discarding it to the floor.

'You're amazing,' you tell her, as she moves to lay herself down next to you, wrapping her arms around you and guiding your head to rest on her chest.

'I'm glad you think so,' she says, making you smile, pulling you slightly out of your dazed demeanour.

You exhale contentedly as Leah runs her hand up and down your arm thats slung over her body.

'So tired,' you say sleepily, your eyelids heavy.

'I bet you are,' she smiles proudly, 'You can go to sleep now baby.'

'Thanks for the good sex,' you say, your exhausted post-orgasm brain hardly even thinking through what you're saying, making Leah giggle.

She kisses your forehead and moves herself into a more comfortable position before she assures you, 'Anytime'.

[vidavalor]

Hi! Sorry if you'd already made a post about this but, what are "all the fine details in the story" that hint to Azi and Crowley already being together before The Kiss? Why think they're "very long-time lovers" before Crowley's confession? I honestly don't think Azi would've reacted SO dramatically to the kiss if it really wasn't their first (I read it as "I can't believe you used this precious humanly kiss to make me stay! God it feels good but i reject the temptation: I forgive you"). Thanks.

Hi there. 💕 Thanks for the ask & welcome! Come on in. I give out snacks to visitors so there are chips and guacamole tonight, should ye be hungry. I've written a bit about these topics and would be happy to steer you to those posts.

Since you're asking about the kiss specifically, I would recommend this post. There is also this one on the theory about how Crowley's talk of The Vavoom in S2 was recounting their first kiss to Aziraphale and when the show might be suggesting that took place. I'd also recommend this short post about how Good Omens uses non-linear storytelling and why it suggests that 2.06 was very unlikely to be the first kiss.

If you would like more about them as long-time lovers, I'd recommend starting with Crepes, as I wrote it to be an introduction to the idea. It uses the 2008 minisode in 1.01 to get into Crowley and Aziraphale's euphemistic coded speech and the story that seeing that opens up. If you find yourself going all ohhhh after Crepes (and I'm flattered to say that more than a few people have told me that they did) and you want more about what the show is saying about their history together, you should read Fish. That is a deep dive into what the show is saying about them as lovers dating back to ancient Rome. You can actually read Fish first but it probably makes a little more sense after Crepes. The rest can be read in any order, should you be interested, and most are shorter. There's a pinned post on my blog that I'm a couple of months behind on updating but there's plenty in there already to get us through to S3. 😊

I'm also partial to my recent post about S2 being Aziraphale's mental health crisis leading to his fall, The Devil Takes the Hindmost. It might give you a different perspective on The Final 15. Finally, I'd also say to keep an eye out for a post soon on the one big thing I haven't really yet come at-- kiss scene itself-- that just might change your mind. 😉

For now, here's Aziraphale miming a kiss at Crowley like you do with your partner earlier in S2 in a scene the show buried with a fast cut to Crowley in one of its most fun bits of sleight of hand.

Good Omens is no stranger to the art of prestidigitation. 😉

[inflamedrosenkranz]

[An Exercise in Imperfection] From self-righteousness and revenge to humbleness and justice: Kuai Liang's possible path to wisdom in the future instalments of MK1

Here, like the 4 previous ones gathered in this extremely long post, are 2 more of my drafts that I won't bring to completion, but which I nevertheless choose to publish here. Imperfect and incomplete, that is: so be it. However, I feel they are relevant enough to deserve a place on this blog. Again, since these are drafts, I haven't proofread them, so my English is probably worse than for my finished posts. The subject being Kuai Liang, and me being critical of him, the following won't appear in any tag for obvious reasons, and won't be rebloggable either. I'm gradually detaching myself from this blog, I'm also someone who stays in their lane, so I don't wish to attract hyenas and vultures too much. What's more, as all this was written several months ago (between December 2023 and February 2024), I've long since lost the sources of the non-MK screenshots that appear in my texts below. I'll look them up and include them later.

Sub-Zero: You can't match my experience.

Johnny Cage: You can't stand that Liu Kang picked me, can you? Sub-Zero: Easily his worst ever decision.

Kung Lao: If you reformed, Liu Kang would forgive.

Liu Kang: Come in from the cold, Bi-Han.

Ashrah: Bi-Han can be redeemed. Scorpion: I don't see how that's even possible.

Scorpion: I fear the Lin Kuei's beyond redemption. Scorpion: Together, we will restore its honor.

Sub-Zero: What is the point of your new clan? Scorpion: To film the role the Lin Kuei abandoned.

Scorpion: From the ashes, the Lin Kuei will be reborn. Sub-Zero: Do not presume you can burn it down.

Liu Kang: I had such high hopes for your brother. Scorpion: As did I, Lord Liu Kang.

To my mind, Bi-Han's frustration, anger, envy and jealousy at having four amateur fighters—Raiden, Kung Lao, Johnny and Kenshi—reap the rewards of his years of hard toil sacrificing his life and personal desires on the altar of Liu Kang/God's cause echo Kuai Liang's self-righteousness, anger, envy and jealousy at the thought of his brother earning his redemption. For if Bi-Han does, his brother fears he will return in grace and again be favored by Liu Kang after he's betrayed him to ally himself with the forces of evil he'd yet sworn to fight. Why then, should Bi-Han be so easily forgiven and regain his lost status after his wrongdoing, when Kuai Liang will have dedicated every second of his life without fail to serving Liu Kang and universal peace? Kuai Liang fears that Bi-Han will one day come back home, "come in from the cold" like the Prodigal Son in the parables and be welcomed as a king, and himself cast aside:

(In this parable, we can of course recognize both Bi-Han and Kuai Liang through the figure of the elder brother, and the 4 Earthrealm's champions and Bi-Han himself through that of the younger brother.)

And it all seems so unfair that he can't bear it or even imagine that it's possible, not after all the harm Bi-Han has done, according to him... He also doesn't forgive Bi-Han for betraying and deceiving the pride and the high hopes he had projected onto him. So that now that Bi-Han has differentiated himself from Kuai Liang, shown himself to be anything but the irreproachable man his brother demanded, the latter refuses to acknowledge that Bi-Han might one day make amends and take back his duties, prerogatives, privileges and honour as if nothing had happened. His self-righteousness lies in the fact that he is convinced that he himself is the very embodiment of immutable goodness and virtue in all its forms, and that his moral rigidity, stemming from this conviction, protects him from vice and impurity (on this subject, I refer you to @evilbihan's excellent analysis, Kuai Liang is not nice, in which they give concrete examples of the pyromanicer's condescending attitude). This is why he severely judges Bi-Han and Rain, and believes that his brother cannot be saved from corruption:

Scorpion: Like a dog, you bit the hand that fed you. Rain: You've no right to judge me, Earthrealmer.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

Being perfect is a deliberate and conscious choice, and falling into evil is one too, he thinks. But that's an error of judgment which, by means of a dialectical reversal, makes him permeable to evil, something he doesn't realize, just as Bi-Han, who sincerely thinks he's doing good as well, doesn't realize he'll end up on the wrong side of the fence:

Scorpion: A shadow's fallen on your soul. Sub-Zero: No, brother. I've seen the light.

Raiden: How can you feel no shame? Sub-Zero: Why should I? I've done nothing wrong.

Ashrah: There are many in the Netherrealm just like you. Sub-Zero: You conflate ambition with evil, Ashrah.

Two of Kuai Liang's conversations with Liu Kang and his double prove this, while also displaying his inner struggle against his bad inclinations:

Liu Kang: You allow vengeance to consume you. Scorpion: I should not punish Bi-Han for his crimes?

Scorpion: I won't be consumed by vengeance. Scorpion: How can your father's death not burn you?

The desire for revenge is normal, valid and legitimate. But if Kuai Liang carried it out, then he would understand that it leads to nothing but to the corruption of his soul. Revenge never resolves the original offence, nor does it appease the anger, despair or sadness that this same offence has aroused in us. On the contrary, revenge triggers an endless cycle of new revenges, new bloody feuds, new tragedies and never-ending regrets.

What the pyromancer doesn't understand is that he's no better than Bi-Han or Rain when he's posing as the absolute paragon of virtue and the ultimate ethical standard for differentiating right and wrong. He thinks he's humble when he's simply arrogant. Bi-Han too is arrogant in that he believes he's better than everyone else, better than Liu Kang himself, and that he and the Lin Kuei deserve a reward that was never included in the contract his clan signed with Liu Kang/God centuries ago:

Raiden: Did you ever want to be an Earthrealm champion? Scorpion: I have only ever wanted to be Lin Kuei.

Tanya: Be glad Umgadi don't fight in the tournament. Raiden: Care to show me what I missed?

Scorpion: You, Bi-Han. Both done in by delusions of grandeur. Rain: The sorcerers knew exactly how to exploit them.

Sub-Zero: My father was a fool to follow you. Liu Kang: He wisely honored Earthrealm with his service.

This brings to mind the parable of the eleventh-hour worker, which also relates to that of the Prodigal Son, and, by extension, to Bi-Han's conflictual relationship with the 4 champions chosen by Liu Kang, as well as to Kuai Liang's beef with his older brother:

Kuai Liang suffers from the same spiritual ailment and, if he's not careful, he risks ending up the same way, with arrogance leading to unrighteousness and pervertedness through the completion of personal vengeance. In this sense, he is reminiscent of the Pharisees whom Jesus endlessly denounced and rebuked in the Gospels:

In some of his intro dialogues, Kuai Liang gives unsolicited advice, boasts about his skills, lectures people and peremptorily corrects those he feels are behaving badly. As pointed out by @evilbihan in his analysis above-quoted, he even goes so far as to judge the decoration of Johnny's home ("Your mansion was unduly extravagant"). Like a Pharisee, Kuai Liang thinks he's spreading Liu Kang's Word, when all he delivers is his own moral view of the world, convinced that it comes from above. All in all, he emphasizes the letter of the fire god's law, but misses its spirit.

The Bible has a lot more to say on the subject:

"Whoever says 'I know him' but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him." 1 John 2:4

"Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches." Jeremiah 9:23

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 6:1

"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." 2 Corinthians 11:30

Liu Kang himself, who was a man before he was a Titan and a god, is not ashamed to admit his flaws and limitations. In this sense, he appears far more human than Scorpion, a mere mortal and his representative in Earthrealm:

Scorpion: As Time's Keeper, you could have abolished kombat. Liu Kang: Even a Titan's power has limits.

Smoke: Did you intend for me to be orphaned? Liu Kang: Some threads must be cut to weave time's fabric.

Smoke: I'm not sure I can forgive you. Liu Kang: Being Keeper of Time meant making many hard choices.

Admittedly, the Shirai-ryu grandmaster's interpretation of right and wrong is a little too literal, and has not been moderated nor shaped by the addition of pragmatism or humbleness truly embodied in body and mind. So far, Kuai Liang's self-proclaimed humility is indeed purely intellectual. It's made in stone, but not felt with nor acted upon from the heart:

"And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules." Ezekiel 36:26-27

I'm not reproaching Kuai Liang for being imperfect, since that's precisely what he needs to understand. That being mortal, he is vulnerable and fallible like all his human brothers and sisters, and that he must get down from his pedestal, especially if he claims to be a leader of men. His fault precisely lies in the fact that he does not seem to recognize he has flaws just like everyone else, that being Liu Kang/God's representative on Earth does not automatically make him a superior being (this is also what Bi-Han will believe, but in a different way). In this sense, he prefers to see the mote in another's eye without noticing the beam in his own:

"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." Matthew 7:5

This is the meaning of the teaching of Luke 6:37 that I quoted above: since no one is perfect, then whoever judges another as if they themself were beyond reproach should not be surprised to be judged in return.

Some people here will tell me that I'm exaggerating, that Kuai Liang also has many qualities and a lot of heart, a heart of flesh. I'm not denying that, and I never said he didn't. Again, I'm just saying that some of his benevolent principles are not well-directed, and this is precisely what constitutes his inevitable ontological imperfection, which he seems to refuse to acknowledge. For example, he has no problem welcoming Ashrah and Sareena into the Shirai-ryu and recognizing them as allies in Earthrealm's defense, whereas as demons, they normally represent a threat to its peace. But he gives them the benefit of the doubt, because he has no choice: Earthrealm needs more powerfum allies, whatever the cost.

He also welcomes Hanzo after Tomáš finds him and brings him back to the compound, just like the Lin Kuei found him and raised him 15 years earlier. Despite the fact that he was taken in by his attackers and family's murderers, Tomáš explains in his ending that without the Lin Kuei, he would have ended up badly, like Hanzo. And because Tomas seems to take the principle of reciprocity to heart, here's his credo:

Shang Tsung: I am a hunter, no different than you. Smoke: Except my quarry's never been the weak and helpless.

Sindel: It's impossible, Smoke. We can't save everyone. Smoke: Then I'll save who I can to make up for the ones I can't.

Yet there is a cruel lesson to be learned from human condition, which is that "the last will be first, and the first will be last", for men are all the same, different in appearance, but so similar at heart. [...]

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil." Matthew 4:1

Shang Tsung: Surely I can tempt you with something. Scorpion: Nothing you could offer would interest me.

"After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, 'If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.'" Matthew 4:2-3

Shang Tsung: I could teach you the secrets of shapeshifting. Scorpion: Stealth is the only tactic I need.

Scorpion: Building the Shirai Ryu is a formidable task. Liu Kang: I have faith that you will succeed, Grandmaster.

Smoke: Liu Kang's placed great faith in us. Scorpion: Let us prove worthy of it, brother.

Scorpion: You place such great faith in Argus. Tanya: Don't you place similar faith in Liu Kang?

Reptile: Am I right to put faith in Liu Kang? Scorpion: He's always proven worthy of mine.

Shang Tsung: Kuai Liang's betrayal cost us dearly. Sub-Zero: He will bleed for it, sorcerer.

Shang Tsung: If Kuai Liang had only joined Bi-Han... Smoke: With you against Earthrealm? That would never happen.

In truth, Kuai Liang isn't all that perfect. He too is tempted, just like any human being. Tempted by revenge, which Liu Kang warns him about, and which could well drive him away from Him... (I capitalize the h on purpose.)

Liu Kang: You allow vengeance to consume you. Scorpion: I should not punish Bi-Han for his crimes?

Scorpion: I won't be consumed by vengeance. Scorpion: How can your father's death not burn you?

He conflates Liu Kang's justice with personal vengeance and, convinced that because he's on Liu Kang's side, on the side of Good, he respects and enforces Liu Kang's word to the letter, he feels entitled to judge others [...] in a harsh and imperious manner, just as he thinks Liu Kang would do:

Scorpion: Like a dog, you bit the hand that fed you. Rain: You've no right to judge me, Earthrealmer.

Scorpion: Your mansion was unduly extravagant. Johnny Cage: It came with the megastardom. Package deal.

Peacemaker: I thought home was messed up. But this place? Liu Kang: Do not judge, lest ye be judged.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37

Scorpion: I fear the Lin Kuei's beyond redemption. Scorpion: Together, we will restore its honor.

Ashrah: Bi-Han can be redeemed. Scorpion: I don't see how that's even possible.

He severely prejudges the Lin Kuei's capacity for redemption, even though Liu Kang is inclined to forgive, to give a second chance, provided Bi-Han repents:

Liu Kang: Come in from the cold, Bi-Han. Sub-Zero: And again kneel before you?

Kung Lao: If you reformed, Liu Kang would forgive. Sub-Zero: You presume I've done anything wrong.

Kuai Liang's spiritual battle is against his own self-righteousness, against his pride in being part of a noble cause masquerading as humility.

"But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire." James 1:14

Sub-Zero: I don't want your throne. Just part of Earthrealm. Sindel: As if you would be able to steal either.

Shang Tsung: This is so unnecessary. What I can offer you, you won't decline. Sub-Zero: Unless it's your surrender, I am not interested.

Shang Tsung to Sub-Zero: "As our ally, you will be given command of several battalions. Few in Earthrealm could then resist the Lin Kuei."

Sub-Zero: Put your demons at my command, and we'll talk. Quan Chi: Do you think my hand that weak, Bi-Han?

"Then Jesus asked him, 'What is your name?' 'My name is Legion,' he replied, 'for we are many.'" Mark 5:9

Shang Tsung: Perhaps now you wish to entertain my offer? Sub-Zero: How would you know what I value? We are strangers to each other. Shang Tsung: I know that you wish to break free of Liu Kang's control to gain your clan unrivaled power. I offer the means to do both. Scorpion: Ignore him, brother. He promises only corruption.

Shang Tsung to Sub-Zero: "It's your choice. I can give you freedom, or I can take your life."

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei will conquer the realms. Omni-Man: Consider me your distinguished competition.

"Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 'All this I will give you,' he said, 'if you will bow down and worship me.'" Matthew 4:8-9

Bi-Han's descent into Temptation is gradual...

Shang Tsung: It was all too simple, pulling your brother's string. Scorpion: It sickens me that he was so easily exploited.

Scorpion: A shadow's fallen on your soul. Sub-Zero: No, Brother, I have seen the light.

"And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." 2 Corinthians 11:14

Sub-Zero: You dare judge me, Ashrah? Ashrah: By how easily you were felled by temptation.

[...]

[weaselle]

i swear to all gods, almost every time two nationalities are at war, MOST of BOTH populations would rather not be

I haven't really reblogged or posted anything about the Israel / Palestine situation on here, because that's not what i wanted this part of my social media to be about.

But i suppose i do want people to know where i stand if they want to know that about this blog, so I'll make this post.

There's a history of back and forth which can seem overwhelming to try to untangle, but luckily you don't have to know about any of that to understand my take.

I'm not for or against Israel, I'm not for or against Palestine, I'm for the public of both, and i think the public of both groups is on one side, and the leadership of both groups is on the other side against them.

For example, in this specific instance before this latest flare up there were huge protests in Israel against Netanyahu for being, basically, a war mongering dangerous power hungry asshole, and also huge protests in Palestine against Hamas and his party for essentially the same reason. It is essentially two armed political parties that keep using each other to stay politically relevant and grab power. Both leaders break promises to their people and actively sabotage all attempts at making peace. And the people there know it.

That's why you get scenes like the returned Israeli prisoners yelling angrily at their government, or the Israeli hospital staff who chased visiting government officials out of the hospital clapping their hands at them like they were misbehaving dogs and yelling things like "are you proud? Is this what you wanted? This is your fault!"

Most of the people of both sides do not want any of what's been happening, and the people are also upset at their own leaders about it. But the US is far from the only country that has gerrymandering and voter suppression and propaganda and the occasional disappearance of a problematic journalist or some shit, so those leaders keep getting their hands back on the wheel.

I've traveled in several countries, i've met people from from literally all over the world, I've lived in a couple of large diverse cities. I've lived with someone from Russia and someone from the Ukraine both at the same time... and they were just like everybody else we were living with. They didn't care about any bad blood in their national histories, they cared about "are we all going to have our share of the power bill this month", and "whose beer is this in the fridge and can i have some".

We're all just people, and most of us would rather we all find a way to co-exist peacefully -- cooperatively where possible, respectfully where not. In my experience, that's the baseline for 80% of everyone on the planet. As far as i can tell most of everyone is defaulted at: a vague goodwill toward others, and too busy putting out fires in their own lives to want to go looking for matches in someone else's.

I know that sometimes that hardly seems true, but minding your own business is an invisible activity. What you see are the outliers.

also, crucially, high stress brings people off that baseline, which is why political stunting so often encourages panic.

So you can't pick a side like Netanyahu or Hamas because either of those sides you pick, you pick the wrong side. It has to be that it's both of them on one side, and the general population on the other.

Anyway i strongly believe (with some good evidence available) that most of the people of Israel and most of the people of Palestine have long wanted there to be some kind of peaceful resolution worked out, and that each public largely objects to what the leadership of both sides has been doing for years and years. I honestly believe most of the people on both sides of this conflict have more in common with each other than with their leadership.

Hamas militants have done awful things. And, clearly, what the Israeli military has been doing lately is despicable and unconscionable and wrong on such an extreme level that i shouldn't even have to explicitly say so, but here we are.

So that's where i stand. It's horrifying and tragic what those armed political powers have been doing to the people of both sides: keeping them in a state of terror, punctuated by brutal violence. I support the common public of both Israel and Palestine, whose political leaders have betrayed them deeply, and who deserve peace.

and that's all i'm going to say about that on here i think.

[goodluckclove]

clove I posted some of star!! You've already read it but it's on my writing account now

sunny i can't even tell you how fucked i was when i had to wait a whole day to respond to this while scott had the blog. oh my god. fuck.

but now i'm at stumptown and i don't even care that they didn't have the ice tea i like, which is the only good thing at stumptown since the coffee kind of sucks. i got a dirty chai because coffee shops add way too much milk to their chai and i have a baguette sandwich with smoked gouda and bacon. and now i finally get to talk about this.

i wanted to pull up our conversation from when you shared this except with me a few months back, but i have no goddamned clue where we spoke because my communication is not centralized at all. But i do remember reading it and thinking damn. Fuck yeah. You have something so haunted in your writing, which makes sense given the context in which the whole thing was created.

yours was probably the excerpt that really solidified my belief that a lot of writeblr is under some odd mass delusion that they're incompetent writers when they're all, in fact, pretty solid to great.

i won't even pull that shit where older people say you're so good for your age. like yeah, it's impressive you're writing like this at 15 - dangerous, but cool nonetheless. but your prose is ageless. it's inexperienced, but that'll pass with practice. even then, it's a universal inexperience. and that's a really special thing. you're clearly earning your stripes and i'm really proud of you.

i hope you're proud of yourself too, sunny. i believe you told me you had no intention of finishing this project, much less post it online, which i found such a profound loss if i remember correctly. the fact that you're finding a way to keep creating through chronic pain gives such immense depth to your craft and dedication as a writer - which is what you are, if you weren't certain yet.

just be sure to accommodate yourself, okay? hand exercises when you can remember. taking breaks. there's no making up for lost time here, you have all the time in the world. we're all gathered around the fire waiting for our storyteller, but we've got plenty of wood to burn and it's a beautiful night. i'm so excited to see what you do next, colleague.

anyways i already read chapter one of stars but if you people haven't you can here. it's great. i'm really curious to see how it continues!

[yuseirra]

Thank you so much for the reply I am in fact very happy in reading your analysis it has been a while since I have read such a good take and well thought argument plus looking more into your blog I am fascinated by your posts you are a new fav of mine looking foward your posts about OnK next chapters, I am once again super happy about your reply I love aquakana ;; you do a very good work I really admire your talent it is refreshing and necessary

Thanks anon :) oh, you're so welcome! I went straight to bed after replying to your message earlier, it was nice seeing your ask first thing as I hop on tumblr!/// Aaa thanks for the compliment! ;v;) I could be biased, but I totally mean what I say.

I'm not worried about Aqukana at all because in terms of the ships in onk, I'm looking at a even more complex one right now with a lot of mess being thrown out.

No worries anon, that ship is just too obvious. Things did get a bit messy and confusing in the middle, but I knew it was going to happen and I was excited to learn I was on the right track when stuff like ch 146 and 150-151 happened. That's how I started reading more intently again~ I was following the series, but I wasn't this invested. The one Aqua has romantic feelings for is Kana. It's just.. stated there at this point.

Speaking of which, I "ship" hikaai right? more like I support what's just there... If we compare them to math problems, Aqukana would be like a linear equation, while Hikaai'd be calculus. I believe.. that Hikaai is sorta the advanced question-version compared to Aqukana. When I'm trying to crack that nut, Aqukana is just.. a much much easier question to solve. That's why I don't worry about the former at all. The former is just too clear as day.

Oh, goodness, and I already stepped in with 90% conviction regarding them(hikaai I mean), I don't play a game I end up losing. But this manga is making it so hard for me, I swear. It's super stressful although I realize they're probably doing it for entertainment value and Hikaru was a character we know literally nothing about through the entirety of the story with him being pinpointed as the "evil mastermind", to make it even worse. They gotta fulfill people's expectations about him by portraying him as menacing at least once or twice when he encounters the protags, I get that, but it's such a rough road I signed myself into. I know I have a high chance of winning though.

Fatal and Mephisto is EXACTLY how Hikaru feels about Ai. I'm serious, I just knew it the moment I heard Fatal like the first few seconds in. It was incredible how it felt, it can't be any other way and I have conviction that the author has them on their mind. but GOD, they make me so nervous. This manga makes me so tense. I was worried that I got anything wrong ever since I picked up this series AGAIN for like the past two-three months? was it? because their situation, if I get it wrong, could be deemed as unhealthy and toxic(NONE OF THE "MESSED UP" THINGS TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD IT ANY OTHER WAY. I KNEW. I JUST KNEW IT WOULD PLAY OUT TO BE LIKE THIS. HIKARU CAN'T DO SH- I look at the guy and he's just... too mild to the point he is naive. Ai chose her man well!!! I swear this has to be where the story will go!!! this is how it will go!! I JUST KNEW!! Just wait okay?? I'm sure I'll be right in the end),

Oh, I'm so sorry;; I really get carried away when I talk about them lately, this is Aqukana we're talking about. The point is, there's nothing you have to worry about the ship or those two who are involved.

I tell you though, I'm serious about psychology and picking up people's emotions. Let me bring up the fact that I major in Psychology AGAIN!!! I REALLY look at these things intently. If I'm wrong, then okay, I guess, but the author should not depict those characters this way if what I predict are to be false. I haven't had an instance where what I predicted came to be too off. I don't think onk will be an exception.

I like aqukana too~/// I'm looking forward to their date in the anime! ;v;) They're the ones who get entire chapters dedicated to their dates, seriously. why would you do that to a ship that would flop if you're the writer, don't worry about them AT ALL. Really, don't worry. I don't feel my take is particularly unique or special. They're going to happen sooner or later.

Thank you!// You're looking forward to my analysis? It's an honor! I wish I DIDN'T need to put out analyses though ;v;... I love putting my ideas out here but I usually do it in the form of fanworks, not words. I didn't know I could talk on and on about something, but I just could not stay still and I guess that's what's been pushing me! Onk makes me so tense and I get relieved when they go on breaks (This applies even after 160. nervous laughs I can draw in "peace", just.. lately, every chapter they have makes me wrap my head so much and I need time to process, I can't do this anymore, HELP ME, it's pain, would have I liked it better if I didn't like this series and its characters as much and cared less? loving something is PAIN) but I will hold out and do my best! 'v')9 Let's have fun together. If the series makes me want to write out how I feel, then I will do just that. I'm sincerely grateful for those of you who tolerate me and/or even enjoy what I could offer!

If something about Aqukana pops up in the story, I'd love to draw them again too!~//They've been missing for some time and they really do need their moment, the author must know too and it will come and happen. This is something I'm sure of regarding this manga. I don't know HOW it will, but I know that it WILL. Believe me on this! :)

[akookminsupporter]

yk i used to have an old frnd who i was very close to. like really. we used to talk all the time even though we live miles away and haven't met in like 7+ years. but we always got along. she had a really wide and kind of a different approach to life than other people which i really found admiring. i learned a lot of things from her and i honestly miss her presence sometimes. we don't talk anymore. time got us. there wasn't any fight or anything, we just gradually drifted apart and that's what hurts the most. why am i telling you this? because you remind me of her sometimes. she was strong, opinionated and never feared stating whatever was on her mind. that's a quality i acquired from her. so yeah... reading your messages (replies to the anons) remind me of her sometimes.

hope u do well in life, get everything u want and keep up with your spirit, rosie. i wish you the best in life and i hope everyone around you shows their love in their own way to you. and it's my request to you too, that if you have something to say to someone, say it. you never know when things might change, nothing is forever even the best of relationships (platonic, familial or romantic) end sometimes and you don't know when a stranger might become your new special person. so please don't ever hesitate to show your love to your loved ones. i've lost people and it won't be a lie if i say i barely have friends right now (i'm not forty years old, sigh. just ended high school) but that's fine i still have a lot more things coming. i could meet new people in college and hopefully form new definitions of friendships and relationships. but yes, from whatever i have seen so far, what i am sure of is that nothing is forever. i talk to everyone and you won't believe me people see me as a "happy go lucky girl" which i always like, because why being sad in front of people and making them feel sad when they can't do anything to help you? (in a good way. but i have this serious issue of bottling things up and that lead to anxiety. bad one) i literally have these thick walls because of how scared i am of forming bonds just for the fear of losing them. sigh. i just told you nothing is forever but i, myself have a hard time accepting that. easier said than done, isn't it? lol anyway a lot of sentimental and philosophical stuff have been said. geez i might cringe later at myself if you post this. nvm, it's so good that i found your blog, found bts, found armys, and found uh idk everything? yeah, life could be depressing but i try to smile it off because why not?

a frnd of mine was saying she's going to kill herself and i swear i've heard that lot more times from different people. two kids (15 year olds) commited suicide in the last two months where i live. and i was crying in the bathroom because idk who might be next. and it scares me yk what if it's me next? or in future months or years later maybe if i can't smile anymore? it's so disturbing, sigh. and i hate when people joke and say 'i'm gonna kill myself' at the slightest discomfort in life. at least once, just for a second i want them to think of thousands of those people who are surviving under constant fear of hurting themselves for real, who are actually struggling to keep themselves alive, to fight back life harder than it comes for them, and those who want someone to help them out of vicious circle of depression, anxiety and other similar problems they're caught in. i don't like people who make mental health issues look 'aesthetic'. hope they grow up to know better soon.

god i need to learn how to shut up. sorry this long. i love your blog, please don't ever shut this down. ilysm, hope you stay healthy and live your best life. also, again i'm sorry if my message is too depressing. i started off only to tell you that you remind me of my (ex) best friend lol.

Hi, anon! How are you?

I hope this doesn't sound disrespectful but I was a bit surprised when I read that you recently finished high school. There is experience in your words, experience that is usually gained over the years, with mistakes and frustrations but also joys. You are wise beyond your years, anon. That was nice to see. Although I keep in mind that at no point did you mention your age, assuming you're a teenager is perhaps a bit bold of me.

I think I've said it all day but thank you for the nice opinion you have of me. Thank you for the way you think of me. Thank you for somehow telling me that my sincerity is perceived by all of you. I'm sorry that you and your former friend have drifted apart. Life is funny like that sometimes. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us something but not to stay. And in itself, that is also a life lesson.

In part, you remind me of me but unlike you, I have never had such positive thoughts about my future. About other people's? Of course, I have, but not about mine, I guess in that respect I like to preach but I don't apply what I preach.

Thanks for the advice and good wishes. You are a special person anon. Try not to change. Always try not to let life and all its tribulations ruin your way of thinking. Maybe try to be a little more positive about yourself. Trusting someone else people say is a rewarding thing to do, I need to work on that too, maybe we can do it together. I sincerely hope that people come into your life who bring something to you instead of taking something away from you. I hope that people come into your life with whom you can form sincere, honest and lasting relationships. You sound like the kind of friend I would like to have. That I often need to have.

I wish you nothing but the best anon, thank you for your kind words. I promise I won't forget what you said to me.

GRACIAS!!

[kart0]

Am I in love ???? Help

Ok so y'all already know I treat this blog like a journal. And on today's post I'm gonna talk a LOT. So get ready !!!! Also, DISCLAIMER: I'm hypomaniac rn, and my thoughts are zooming like crazy, so this will be one heck of a chaotic text

Remember my situationship, with my best friend, I had, a couple months ago ? So, after like two months of not speaking, he texted me. Casually. Trying to engage in conversation and all of that. And I kept my distance, because I didn't want to bother him with too many messages, I didn't want to idk make him hate me or something. I was scared. But he kept going, and it made me wonder huh, maybe we're ready to be best friends again. Maybe it doesn't hurt anymore.

It's hard, but I have to keep level headed and think logically, so I dont ruin what's left of our friendship, but my mind keeps straying away ( and I might blame this on my hypomania ) and I keep thinking about scenarios and stuff where we're together romantically and we're soulmates.

And I've always been a romantic, ever since I was a kid. It fascinates me. Having this kind of connection, seems so special and a wonderful experience. But turns out I am autistic, and I fall into the aroace spectrum. So I like romance but in an analytical way, I like to dissectic it and see all the layers and complexity. I don't know if I am capable of feeling romantic love.

But him... Oh man... We grew up together, literal babies. He knows me so well, and no one compares to him. As a kid I use to think, truly believe, we would get married once we grew older. And now there's still some spark of hope that maybe we'd get to date once in our lifetimes.

But I don't know what I want, what I truly want, because everything gets mixed up and it's like, foggy, in my brain and I get confused. Like, as an autistic person, I know I can get attached really hard onto someone, so it could be it. But maybe it's not, what if there's real feelings ? But again, I'm hypomaniac right now, what if I go back to normal I regret my choices ? I can't take this risk, I've already damaged our relationship too much. I can't take the risk of hurting him more. Because he like-liked me. And he treated me so well and was so kind and caring.

And now it comes: the self hatred.

I hate myself, and I know I have little to no self esteem. And I don't consider myself to be a good person, even though I'm always trying my best, and I'm not really pretty either... But I don't deserve love. I don't deserve his love, because I'm not sure I can give him back. I can't kiss him. I can't have sex with him. I can't give him a normal love life, a true relationship. He is neurotypical, and he wants and deserves something better than me.

I can't be what he needs. But god, I want him so bad. I wish I could be normal. I don't even know if he would see me as a man. He definitely liked my longer hair, and girly clothes. If we got together, would he regret me ? Would he be embarrassed of me ? Oh man, I haven't even talked about his parents. They used to love me. But now... After what I've done, how I broke his heart. They probably hate me.

He probably regrets me too.

My head is such a mess right now. Part of me wished he didn't message me. So I wouldn't remember how painful it is to year for something I can never have. I long for love but I don't know if I can feel it. But I'm so scared of being alone. And also, I'm such a jealous creature too. I'm terrified of him meeting a pretty girl, and getting his life together and we'd never talk anymore.

I wish I could be normal. I'm crying writing this, because it hurts so much. I know I feel something for him. But I can't tell what it is. I just wished we could go back in time, before things got messy.

I'm like a stupid teenager, I keep checking my phone every second to see if me replied.

Ugh.

That's all. Thanks for reading. Makes me feel less lonely.

[tie--up--loose--ends]

To that person I had so high opinion of before all that:

Thank you for dumping me last January, silently after all I offered was support.

I never felt so bad for doing something for someone else.

Now I can't even finish your fic.

And your fic WAS MY ONLY FAVOURITE FAN FIC about that character. The ONLY one.

BUT WHY WOULD YOU CARE....AS EVERYONE ELSE IS ALWAYS AROUND YOU COMMENTING SHOWING YOU LOVE.....why would you care that I won't read.

Yeah why would you?

Or why would everyone else

"Thank you" so much.

I wish I have never told you how much I like your fic.

At least I will finish it and now I can't because it became a trigger. Only see how that link got deleted in the blink of an eye, and me not even being asked what's going on.

I was in the middle of severe depression and was having non stop panic and anxiety attacks meanwhile deleting my blogs and my whole fic.

But no one cared to ask what's going on.

And dumping me for what?

Because Little Miss Anastasia Steele COMPLAINED WITH HER BIG MOUTH because that person can NOT use my DELETED GIFS for their fic.

And they complain why? Because they got this?

Excuse me but there is nothing to complain about.

Why haven't she read my fic instead of ONLY using my gifs for every piece of fiction about that character she was writing?

Hmm?

But she is a "wh**re "for your fic.- that's a quote. She said "I'll be a w***re for your fic...." And she gets recommendations.

Of course.

But so good that at least someone has "friends".

Not me though.

News for you both-

This was MY WORK and I DELETED it and didn't wanted it USED.

I don't need to explain why and you don;t need to be mad about it.

First - Because it was my work. And I don't want my DELETED WORK USED after no one would show a basic for of mutual respect towards the hard work that goes into it.

Second- because NO ONE READ my fic after I begged for 1 comment for half a year, and everyone was playing deaf.

------

WHILE YOU BOTH AND EVERYONE WERE RECOMENDING EACH OTHERS. And that one friend of yours won't shut up how good you are.

Then Little Miss Steele person had 400 notes per chapter.

So they deserve recommending?

Why? So they can become MORE POPULAR?

While OTHERS STAY UNSEEN?

God knows why that person is popular at all.

But my invisible fic with 10 likes didn't deserve recommendation?

Despite the fact that it was good.

At least so people who would like it to know that it exists....

But no....

No recommendation for me by no one.

Why?

Because I'm not popular?

I don't think so.

So thanks for showing where your loyalties are......

And everyone else keeping quiet because they COULDN'T CARE LESS.

I should have never involved myself with you.

I got PTSD as side effect of all that happened the "betrayal" included.

That mean I needed to have counseling for half a year after that nice experience.

While people write prequels....and what not.

Probably it's good to go from "ONLY 20 NOTES and a writer block" to FANDOM FAN-FICTION SUPERSTAR .

didn't HAPPEN TO ME. I had 10 f* likes so I deleted all I posted and enjoyed a year long DEPRESSION.

So - I wasted 4 months of my life for a person that dropped me with no second thought because I asked ANOTHER PERSON my things not to be used....

Wooow.

Also FOR TEH RECORD- I DON'T DO HATE/ OFFENSE.

I always follow the common courtesy rules!

However I have NO control over what someone would perceive as "offense".

So thanks for dumping me. For nothing.

And thank you for doing it silently. Deleting my name from your tag list and that link to my fan blog I did for your fic.

You think that's not enough and means nothing?

Do you know how many people did whatever for me or my fic?

NONE.

So yeah....To each their own. 4 months form my time no on e will give me back. But now that you are a big name.....and you have it all why would you care for those who are not.

I bet it's better in the populars club having friendly talks with other writers.....about writing.

--

I wish I knew I don't mean anything, before I believed I was friend of yours.

I was some number it seems. And one that meant nothing to you it seems.

Because the friends get their fic read and commented and recomended...as that one fic about We could be heroes.....

And for the record- I didn't need anything.

But sure a kind word would feel good.....like "You wirte too...Coool. Welcome new author. "

Well I got nothining of it.

I was dumped. Because I'm not popular.

And little Miss Steele has 2000 followers....so ...I'm sure their support means more.... lol

Anyways.

Rude.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

Hi,I recently found your blog and I saw that you talked about DSMP stuff and you sometimes post about ccdream and whatever crappy thing he's doing.I'm not sure if you're the right person to ask this,and if not,feel free to ignore this,it's not a big deal.I just don't know who else would be willing to answer this.

I was really into the DSMP a while back,and I only watched Tommy's POV,mainly,so I quickly became a fan of his.Truthfully,I haven't watched any of his content in months but I still consider myself a fan.I'm not someone who's aware of toxic fandoms or whatever drama goes on within them,but I obviously know about the whole dream drama,but even we'll before that,I've only watched one or two dream videos from him,and didn't know about any past drama.I was mainly in the fandom for lore and from Tommy.

My question to you is,where should I stand with cctommy?Because,to my knowledge,he hasn't talked about the drama with dream and still talks about him in a positive light.That could just be because of the whole legal stuff and he cannot talk about it,but still.I know he makes mistakes and he apologises for them,and the thing is,I genuinely believe he's a good,smart person who has people around him to help inform him about serious stuff and mistakes he makes, but if he's continuing to mention dream casually,should I still follow and support him?Because I obviously love his content and how hard he works to give content to us and I fully believe Tommy is a good person,but I still can't support someone who's talking about a gross person like dream as if there aren't serious allegations going around about him.

God I am not the person to ask I have awful fucking moral scrupulosity around this I can’t watch Tommy's videos live bc having cc!Dream mentioned positively without warning makes me start biting my skin. Please don’t ask me this I don’t know and I’d spend weeks wanting to die because I’d be convinced any answer I give is evil and I deserve to be literally tortured over it lol. Like, /nm but I do have really bad issues with moral scrupulousity around this and I cannot answer sorry :(

[thepetiteninja]

Welcome to 2024

Hello again!

My most recent post was from 4 years ago. And so much had happened since, so I guess it's time for another update. I'm writing this for me who will be reading this entry after a few years, maybe when I remember to dig up my old tumblr account again just because I felt like reminiscing.

So anyway, I'm turning thirty this year. That hasn't sunk yet because more than anything — I'm getting married this year too. It's still to the guy I have been writing about years before. We're turning 9 years this 2024, and are tying the knot this October. He proposed to me two years ago. On top of the Singapore Flyer, 11.11.22. Damn, what a date.

But the past few years weren't all about butterflies and happiness. These past few years were actually some of the worst ones of my life so far. I'm in debt. But fortunately on a good payment plan now that I haven't missed. I risked a really good job to pursue hosting full time — that only lasted for 3 months. Then shifted industries because I wanted to still give myself a chance. And so now I'm still hosting but for e-commerce livestreams. Got promoted twice in a year. I'm now a trainer. But I still do copywriting on the side because it makes good money. At least now I've flipped it up. Doing my passions full time then writing on the side. I'm tired though, to tell you the truth.

Mind-wise, I'm confident. I know what I can bring to the table and what I'm capable of. I don't second guess myself too much now. I still work hard and multi-task. I know my worth. I know my strengths. I learned my lessons well. I've been through difficult times and now I've gained stability. I know I'm ready to fly. In a smarter, more mature way.

Life-wise could be better. Because the wedding is right around the corner, everything I'm earning is being poured to it. So you can say I'm still living paycheck to paycheck after all the great things I take pride on. I'd like to think I've planted a lot of seeds that I'm just waiting to harvest soon. Hopefully the wedding turns out great, so I could finally enjoy the fruits of my labor completely. To be honest tonight, dinner was just a pack of pancit canton and cup noodles. It's petya de peligro and I don't know where to get tomorrow's fare to work. But I'll get by. After a day, salary's gonna come. I really hope it gets so much better soon.

So these things, y'know. It's entirely great but minutely terrifying. And every single time God proves to me that there's guidance from above. You won't believe how many conveniently unexpected blessings I've gotten over the past tumultuous years. I can't even comprehend how I've weathered through all the moments I worried about. But I'm here, sitting on my couch, safe, satiated, typing whatever comes to mind. It's these reflective, peaceful pauses that makes you realize that despite the chaos, I'm actually okay. Barely breathing but pushing on.

I'd like to think future me who would be reading this somehow, someday, would look at me and say: "just wait, it's going to be better". Because I would be saying the same thing to myself who started this blog 10+ years ago. It had gotten so much better. Crazier, but better. I wish future me would say, "babe, we're a millionaire". But more importantly would love her to say, "we still love what we do". No matter what that looks like.

So there. I think that's an ample update about how I am now. And hopefully in a few years tumblr would still be here so I'd be able to read all this again. It's a good self-therapy shit. And also I just missed writing my thoughts like this.

Ok, I'm just rambling now. Until the next update!

[challengereality]

[littlefireofhestia]

hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.

i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.

the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.

i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!

i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.

now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.

anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!

Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

I’m always open to questions about Hestia.

First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.

The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.

You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.

I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.

Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.

Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.

Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.

P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.

[trillgutterbug]

tagged by @malewifemanhunter ty!!

name: trill q gutterbug, the q stands for queer

star sign: who knows or cares

height: 5'10, which means i can definitively say coffee doesn't stunt your growth, even if you start drinking it age 4

time: 9:38am 😓 i do NOT want to be awake rn but the rest of my family is gone atm so the grisly burden of letting the chickens out at ass o'clock fell to me. (eta it is now 12:13 bc i fell asleep for two hours before posting this)

birthday: the day laura ingalls wilder was wed

favorite bands/artists: of montreal, why?, clipping., and nine inch nails are the eternal faves i can't get sick of, but im also tremendously partial to kendrick and lil nas and hozier and mcr and twenty one pilots and the like. also i listen to a lot of chillhop and electroswing, because im a good person with good taste

last movie: i think mad god, which was fantastic and completely incomprehensible. i don't usually have the attention span to sit through a movie if im watching it alone, so.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (eg, the way i still have to finish everything everywhere all at once, which i got an hour into last week, enjoyed tremendously, then got up to walk around and listen to a podcast and play a video game and jerk off or whatever the fuck, and just haven't gone back!)

last show: i believe the latest ep of what we do in the shadows.... or maybe sunny? or euphoria? whatever it was, i was watching it with jackie im sure!

when did i create this blog: idk where to find that info, but im p sure 2014, after LJ shat the bed and i dipped from active fandom for a couple months and when i came back it was like.... owo where'd everyone go?! here, apparently.

what i post: constant thirsty nonsense about a rotating string of fandom obsessions, shitposts, sometimes a bit of tumblr-brand anarchism and socialism bc even the junkfood buffet churns out a smidge of healthy caloric content every once in a while

last thing i googled: i don't use google but the last thing i duckduckgo'd was........ where's wade wilson from, bc i saw something that said vancouver and one of the movies implied regina but i swear to GOD i know it's winnipeg from some other source. results annoyingly inconclusive.

other blogs: @truelevelb1tch, my rick and morty side, which is going to pop off again in a MONTH (!!!!!!!!!) when s6 starts dropping 😱😱😱. i do not apologise for the person i become when r&m occurs, fair warning

do i get asks?: not enough to worry about, thank goodness

following: idk where to find that info either, but it's probably a few hundred, the vast majority of which are inactive at this point. i probably see <50 blogs on my dash??

average hours of sleep: like eight, which is NOT enough for me, but it varies wildly between 5 and 10 depending on what im doing for work on a given day/whether i have to get up early for animal-related reasons/if im up reading fic until 3am/time of year/blah blah

instruments: flesh flute....,,,

what i’m wearing: nuthin

dream job: I Do Not Dream of Labour

dream trip: i hate travelling! but i am partial to visiting my cousins' farm on the reg, so let's say that

nationality: canadian

favorite songs: the trapeze swinger by iron and wine has been my fave song for about ten years. it's almost ten minutes long and if stats across various laptops and ipods and phones could be collated, it would show a playcount in the thousands lol. i first heard it as the closing music on the amazing podfic for the inception fic presque vu and it gutted me on the spot. ode to the mets by the strokes is also on the same trajectory. otherwise, my fave songs come and go in the usual way, by liking something and listening to it repeatedly until i can't stand it. (eta: just went into my music app to see if i'd forgotten anything, and literally the only thing on my "most played" list is the trapeze swinger, so...)

last book i’ve read: currently reading (aside from the massive eternal stack of ww2 ref books) the half life of valery k by natasha pulley and grimscribe by thomas ligotti. most recently before that i read borne by jeff vandermeer, the kingdoms by natasha pulley, blood meridian, the d&d 5e player's handbook, and some postapoc scifi thing that was so forgettable i genuinely cannot conjure up the name of it or its author!!

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: idk, they all seem uniquely bad in ways that do not necessarily improve upon the unique ways in which our current universe is bad. but to be sporting i'll say star trek of course, anything jared harris is in bc i want to fuck him more than im afraid of space terrorists or freezing to death or nuclear radiation, and the fictional universe i've been manifesting in my imagination for years where we never invented agriculture and i died at birth for simplistic umbilical cord-related reasons

lowkey tagging @kaasknot, @collapsinghorizons, @mollynoble, @twobrokenwyngs, @pohjanneito, @lingua-mortua, @sloppyplanetary, @alakeeffectgirl, and @quiescentire

[hgwellsmykabering]

@purlturtle tagged me in a little W13/Bering&Wells questionaire for her website - Thanks for thinking of me, and feel free to post my answers on there with my lilolilyrae ao3 URL, and/or this tumblr here!

How did you get into Warehouse 13/Bering and Wells? What do you love about the show/ship, what woke your interest, what kept it going?

I first watched Warehouse 13 with my family when I was about 13 - I think season 3 had just been released, and there were re-runs of the earlier seasons on TV, I liked it and got the DVDs for my birthday.

I shipped Helena and Myka from the start - and it might be the one and only popular ship that I got into without prior influence from fandom! While I already had a tumblr, I wasn't active in many fandom circles there, and I had never even heard of ao3 yet... But when I discussed the W13 characters and possible relationships with my parents, and my mom was like 'we may not like it, but Pete and Myka as the main characters will end up together, it's always like that' (curse you, season 5, for proving her right), while my dad suggested Pete/Helena and didn't believe me that Helena and Myka were the most shippable... well, I went online, found my first fanfiction, and felt Very vindicated at not being the only one to realize their potential! So really, Bering&Wells got me into fandom.

When did you start writing for them? Do you still write for them, or have you moved to other fandoms/ships? (no worries either way, it's absolutely fair to move on!)

I started writing for them back in 2016 with a College AU that I never quite finished (and don't have the heart to mark 'abandoned' but am honestly not sure whether I'll ever come back to), then only sporadically stayed in the fandom until I found some new Bering&Wells online friends some time last year, and I started writing for the ship again a few months ago.

What do you/did you like about writing for Bering and Wells? What motivates/motivated you to write for them?

Apparently, I have a ship-type of 'Women with a tragic backstory where one had to leave the other for a while', and, well... they just fit that perfectly.

Also, all the lost potential of canon! I do so enjoy fixing that.

What kinds of stories do you or did you write for Bering and Wells? Happy endings or sad endings? Hurt/comfort, plot fics, AUs, kid fics, fix-its, smut, …?

So far it's been short fics, mostly smut, but given that since I started writing for them again this year, I only wrote 3 new fics for the ship so far, I don't think that's much of a pattern yet xD we'll see! I definitely plan to write more.

Have you created or are you still creating other forms of fan art for Bering and Wells/Warehouse 13, like GIFs, videos, paintings? Do you wanna show it off (share a link)?

Photo posts on tumblr! I think I only made the one moodboard for Bering&Wells so far, but I am taking prompts for photo stories, moodboards and manips to all of my ships :)

Do you have a favorite story, or a story you’re proudest of, and would you tell us which it is?

...I'll link the one that isn't smut xD and I did get positive reviews on this!

The Grey of Memories, 1.5k, T, emotional hurt/comfort, no warnings. Tumblr | ao3

From the smut fics, my fav is And You Don't Need To Stay Silent on ao3, 5k, E, emotional loud sex in a newly established relationship

What do you/did you find easy to write for them; what is/was hard or challenging? Do you feel you have a good grip on the two main characters; is one of them more elusive than the other?

Well you see... It's honestly been so long since I last watched much actual W13 canon... So now when I think of the characters, it's all a mash-up of ideas from other people's fics, plus my own specific headcanons - and I honestly don't care to change that. (Insert that text post 'does fic really have to be in character? Is it not enough that I don't need to learn any new names?')

As for writing them to still be recognizable to people with different headcanons, I've found that Helena's old-timey British-ness and tendency to use the pet name 'darling' helps a lot, while I don't have any such tricks for Myka, so I suppose writing HG would be easier there.

What's your writing style? Planner, Pantser, Plantser? Do you work with a beta? Have you ever co-written a story with someone else, and how did that experience go?

I can write one-shots in one go, but for anything longer than about 5k, or if I just don't have the time to finish even a shorter story when I have an idea for it, I note down the outline and go through it later. I don't usually work with betas unless it is a fic written for a gift exchange.

What are your favorite kind of stories/story tropes for Bering and Wells, either to write or to read? What are stories or tropes that you don't like (or can't stand) to write or read for them?

While I'm not usually a fan of kid fics, with Bering&Wells I really enjoy stories that include Christina, especially in a fix-it way, but also in AUs.

For canon compliant fics, I like some good emotional hurt/comfort dealing with trauma - as they are going through a lot in the series, and canon isn't always perfect about dealing with the aftermath.

What are your favorite Bering and Wells stories from other authors/writers? What do you like about these stories?

One of the, if not the first fanfic I ever read is Time After Time by muppetmanda on livejournal, and it is still my favorite! A long timetravel fix-it for (almost) everything, NC-17, getting together.

Other great stories:

Transient by tantedrago on ao3

Warnings: Major Character Death

38k, M, a Ghost!Helena AU

Lots of lovely angst, how Helena and Myka start to interact and get close is beautifully written.

Trapped (aka oh my god, they were roommates) by paddingtonfan69 on ao3

11k, M, deals with the 2020 pandemic

The title says it all! This is a quarantine AU with Myka and Helena as college professors, getting together while stuck in the same appartment and competing for the same job. I love the premise and I adore where the author went with it.

Only for tonight by Numo on ao3

76k, E, bigender H.G.

HG and Myka get together despite many dificulties with each other and the Warehouse regents. I also really love the idea of bigender!HG and how they are written as both genders in different scenes.

(lady I will touch you with my mind) by corchen on ao3

18k, not rated (could be E)

This fic has a wonderful idea for an artefact, and Myka and Helena's feelings and reactions are very well written!

~

I haven't replied to all of the questions, but if someone else also wants to do the interview for purlturtle's blog, you can find all questions here!

[starryevermore]

Omg hey how are you doing? ❤️ I haven't been on here in ages. I miss the time around end 2019-maybe June 2020 because that was my prime time in the fandom. I wasn't a huge fan of the 25x25 project so I kinda lost interest in SnC and their friends (idk if they're even friends anymore nobody interacts with them from what I've seen). I took a break from this blog but now that they're back with the ghost stuff I'm interested again. I'm so glad they stopped filming with Jake and Corey, the girls bring such a great atmosphere to their content and they matured so much I very much appreciate it. I don't really keep up with everyone else I occasionally see a tiktok of Aryia on my fyp doing covers or promoting his song but otherwise I'm out of the loop. It's kinda sad how everything fell apart 😭💔

I'm currently debating of changing my blog here because even tho I like SnC it's not my prime interest atm. The thing for me I go through so many phases I feel like I can't be a blog soley for one thing. Like I was into Criminal Minds for months until the end of May. Now I'm obsessed with an Italian rock band called Måneskin, thanks to Eurovision (I highly suggest for everyone to check them out they're amazing 😭❤️ I even started to learn Italian lmaoo) So who knows what I'm into in the next months, I know I will lose my mind when the new Stranger Things season comes out later. I don't really know what I should do with this blog maybe I'll start out fresh.

Anyway I just wanted to check in bc I saw the threads from yesterday. I miss you guys, its such a shame that basically everyone left here 😭

Hey!! I'm good, how are you? God, I feel that "prime time" so bad. I didn't join until April 2020 I believe, but my prime was definitely like May through July/August. Personally, I enjoyed 25x25 when it first started but as they kind of moved away from what the point of the series was (like about the time they went to Vegas), I got less interested. But I'm really into the paranormal stuff they're doing again. I didn't realize how much I missed it until they brought it back. I'm also glad they stopped filming with Jake and Corey. I feel like if they had done that, it would've just been the same stale content that they were giving back in late 2019/early 2020. At first I was a bit hesitant about the girls since I know Kat always got easily freaked out during Sam's rituals (which is understandable! I'd do the same!) but I was worried it would be another Jake and Corey 2.0 kind of thing but just with her and Stas. But they've surprised me with how calm they've been, and I really enjoy them being in the videos. And oh my god I feel that. I'm constantly torn between wanting the "good old days" of when everyone was together, but I just keep reminding myself that the last couple of videos we got with most of the friend group together just didn't do it for me. Better to enjoy the past than to have a bad present, or something.

And you should def bring in some of your other interests! Lowkey, I would've abandoned this blog if I didn't start posting about the mcu/seb/chris. Remember, this is your safe space and you can do whatever you want with it! Honestly, the best thing you can do is just go multifandom. That way when you cycle through interests, you can just say "hey, I mean, this blog isn't dedicated to one thing anymore, and I can do whatever I want with it". And you'll be surprised by how many of your followers are also into your other interests! Like, I knew the MCU was a big fandom, but I was still shocked at how many of my mutuals were also into the same things as me. And I know of at least a couple who are into Stranger Things/Måneskin/Criminal Minds. And you'll get new followers too from those fandoms who are into those things! So go ahead and start posting for them! And, just speaking for myself, even if I'm not always into the same things as you, I still love seeing you on my dash!

Lmao, lowkey felt bad spamming with all of my bottled up feelings, but yesterday was just a big day for me finally opening up about things irl and I had to get some things off my chest over here too 😂 And I know, there are so many people who have left or just aren't as active anymore (and that's fine! they have their reasons!), but I also miss the way things used to be. Honestly, idk if I'll get to that level of connectedness that we were all at in 2020 again, even in my newer fandoms cause I just get scared I'll get attached and then they'll leave and I'll have to start all over again 😭