#gonna miss everyone but it's for my own sake

[clarkeybabey]

❝ i need you to fill the void ❞

# summary; someone spoils your secret

# playlist; void, the neighbourhood, nothing's gonna hurt you baby, cigarettes after sex.

# word count; 1.2k

# note; freya, faith, and talia cameo, I didn't proofread and I hate this oops.

Have a wedding they said, it'll be fun they said. You can't name a time when you've been this stressed out and anxious in all your years of living. To make it even worse, the one person who could help you breathe through all of this wasn't going to able to see you for another three and a half hours.

Last night, for the sake of tradition, you slept without George for the first time in more than a year. He texted you about a thousand times after you finally fell asleep about how he couldn't wait to be tied to you for the rest of your lives, which meant you woke up in the best of moods despite the lack of his presence.

Keeping everything a secret wasn't hard, since everyone had done it before for Simon and Talia. Unfortunately, some people you thought you could trust with an invitation weren't the most reliable. Your friends were sat off to the side some snapping pictures of you and themselves, others scrolling social media. Freya gasps, she's unable to control the way her lips purse, and brows crease as she turns the volume of her phone down as quick as possible.

You're sat in a chair, your makeup artist hard at work. "Something wrong?" In the blink of an eye, the girls are all standing around Freya, staring at the screen in disbelief.

Talia chews at her bottom lip before speaking, "Y/N, sweetheart, I'm gonna show you something, but I want you to try not to freak out."

You swear you feel your throat begin to close at the slight waver in her voice, now it's your turn for your brows to knit together, "I'll try," you mumble, absentmindedly picking at your manicure.

She makes her way to you as slow as ever with Freya in tow with her phone, which she hands off to you after turning the volume back up, swiping up and back to the video to restart it. You recognize the username as a girl George had introduced you to a few months ago at the sidemen's anniversary party, you don't recall sending her an invitation...

The video begins with a screech from her, "Hi, guys! This get-ready with me is extra special, this time my friend George is getting married," you feel your stomach drop, cheeks warming as she talks about only being a plus one to someone whose name goes in one ear and straight out the other.

"This better be a fuckin' joke," bile begins to rise in your throat and tears threaten to melt away every bit of the 45 minutes spent on your nearly Pinterest-perfect makeup. When you click on the comments you notice there are some from mere seconds ago and steadily continue to pour in, you shake your head hoping someone will pinch you and wake you from this atrocious nightmare, "God, I really wish this was a joke," you whisper, your bottom lip trembling uncontrollably.

You look up at the girls around you as you slowly start to crumble under the weight of it all. Faith is typing away furiously, jamming her fingers against her phone screen, you hand Freya her phone back, wordlessly reaching for your own that was laying screen down on the vanity.

When the screen comes to life you see messages, notifications from dms, posts, and tweets you've been tagged in. Nothing really catches your eye aside from two missed calls from George and a few texts just under them.

my fiance 😝😈: call me when you see this please, darling

And you did exactly that. He answers on the first ring, his soft, accented voice filling your ear ripping another sob from your throat, "Y'alright, love?" He asks knowing the answer, hoping to god you weren't on tiktok to see what he'd seen a few minutes ago, but as you cry into the speaker he understands you have.

You shake your head, before remembering that he can't see your actions, "No," you croak, making him sigh and shake his head. This is your day and somehow someone's managed to ruin it for you.

To be completely honest, George couldn't care less about everything being secret, but all you wanted through the whole planning process was privacy, no huge party after the ceremony, nothing.

You didn't want to post anything until you were boarding the plane for your well-deserved nearly three-week honeymoon. And your fiance was more than happy to oblige.

"Can you come here? Please, I couldn't give two fucks about tradition, we're fuckin' tiktokers for god's sake." you pause a second until you hear shuffling on his end, followed by a snort. "I'm already outside, baby," you hear the smile in his voice, you keep your phone pressed to your ear with your shoulder.

When the door swings open, he's standing there looking so damn good in the suit you picked out together so many months ago and it makes you cry even harder, knowing how much of a snotty mess you probably look now all because everything not going the way you imagined.

He wraps you into his arms before you're able to say anything, breathing you in. "You look beautiful," he steps back from you keeping a comforting hand on your hip as he looks you up in down, "this satin?" He asks pinching at the material of your dressing gown, to which you simply nod, your throat still feeling tight.

Of course, he notices how much everything's eating you alive, "I handled it, sweetheart. I figured out who invited her, they know we don't think its a good idea for her to come," he gives you a reassuring squeeze, watching your face closely for any change of expression.

You pursed your lips taking a deep breath through your nose, "Thank you, I missed you so much," he smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, instead of responding immediately, he chose to envelope you into his arms. Your ear is pressed against his chest so close you can hear his heart thumping against his ribcage, "Missed you more, could hardly sleep without you."

This time when he pulls away, his hands cup your face, and his lips meet yours in what you swear is the best kiss you've ever had, he doesn't keep you like that for as long as you'd like, leaving you chasing after the feeling. He rests his forehead against yours and his hand slips from your cheek to your neck where he feels your pulse quicken.

He breathes you in, this time stepping back for real knowing the girls are waiting for you, "Now go get in the dress I've been hearing about for months, wanna hurry up and make you mine for life."

You smile, the first real one you've worn since reading his messages this morning, "So impatient," you mutter and he shakes his head, swatting at your bum, "I can show you impatient," he quirks a brow, his voice is laced with suggestiveness that's unmistakable

"Later," he raises his hands in surrender as you turn back to the door that's ajar, his hand catches your wrist, turning you around quicker than you could let a gasp escape you. His lips find yours once more and you exhale out of your nose, relaxing against him as he smiles against your mouth. "Now you're free to go," your fingers dance along your now tingling lips, as you watch him disappear down the hallway,

When you return to the girls you almost have forgotten the original situation at hand aside from the fact that maybe every little thing about him is the best.

[toyama-division]

Hey, @nugsters here. (￣ー￣)b

Been pulling myself away from the community after realizing that I've been putting some unspoken pressure on myself to pander to an audience. That is not what I want to do at all. My Hypmic blogs were made for the sole intention of self satisfying my creative needs and since I've strayed from that, I have betrayed my own goals. Not to blame anyone, it's my own fault I got distracted.

I'll continue doing the division reviews and when I reopen my ask box I'll answer questions and asks like normal, but I'm going to quit and even possibly delete any RPs I've done. This includes my @suginami-division blog. Not like it matters since my 3 RPs have died off anyways. I'll also be scrapping any fan division crossover art projects I had, including a video I was planning to do. I didn't really get far anyways so it's not like it matters. (For the people who were concerned, here's the song I was gonna use, finally revealed: LINK )

If this upsets any specific persons, let me say again that it isn't anyone's fault. This is my own choice and I hope that all the lovely people in the community will respect my decision. Hope everyone has a good day and look forward to my self indulgent content. (≡^∇^≡)

[reidrum]

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

A/N: if i stared at this any longer it would never see the light of day...so here she is! this is the longest fic i've ever written and i'm kinda gagged about that but i really hope you like it and if you don't that's okay too this is just silly angsty brainrot anyways thanks for reading this my inbox is open if you wanna yap more summary: in which your kidnapping forces you and spencer to face the fallout following your recently ended relationship cw: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is kidnapped/held hostage, implications and mentions of SA to reader but nothing happens, cm type violence, ex!spencer, lowkey lovers to enemies back to lovers, cat adams, medical jargon, miscommunication trope, the bau team is family, afab!reader, pet names wc: 5.1k

Every case you and Spencer have been on has been insufferable for the rest of the team since your falling out, if it had to be given a name. Everyone always had to deal with your constant bickering and harsh words. It was the same in every case, a difference of opinions that led to incessant fighting between you two, Hotch would have to separate you both and use your joint intelligence separately for the sake of keeping everyone alive.

This last case was nothing different, a serial killer in Athens, Georgia who was religiously sacrificing young women in the name of a cult. Both of you fighting over what you believed the other to be wrong about in their part for solving the case. Spencer thought the unsub would have struck in a zone closer to his home, you assumed he was only going after women who resembled someone in his life. The real problem was that you were both wrong.

And it ended with you being held hostage.

It all happened so fast. You were in the car with Spencer and Rossi driving out to the unsub’s house to check for new evidence when you had stopped at a gas station about 15 miles out from the house to refuel. Rossi got out of the car to pump the gas, Spencer sat in the passenger seat, and you went inside to use the bathroom and grab a quick snack.

You quickly washed your hands after finishing in the bathroom and wiped your hands on your pants, still slightly damp as you turn the handle of the door. As you’re perusing the aisle looking for a snack, you can feel the presence of watchful eyes on you. Casually, you slowly look up and around at the source and clock a figure an aisle over with a cap turned downward blocking their face. 

Your gut was sending flares up, telling you that danger was near. You nonchalantly walk over to the aisle he’s in, pretending to look at the nuts and dried fruits while attempting to get a look at his face. In a (maybe not so) bright idea, you think to knock a bag of nuts on the floor next to the lurker’s feet in the hopes he’ll bend down to pick it up for you.

With a push of your hand, the bag knocks off the shelf and onto the floor and you both bend down to pick it up.

“I’m so sorry about that,” you chuckle lightly, “I’m such a clutz.”

“No problem at all, Miss—.” He stops talking all of a sudden, you’re unsure why. You follow his gaze to your left hip where your FBI credentials are peaking out.

Shit.

He draws a weapon faster than you’re able to react with getting your own out, and by the time yours is out the barrel of his is flush with your forehead.

“Drop it.”

You quickly recognize the man as your unsub, miles away from his hunting ground and about to stray from his victimology with you.

“Come on, up. We’re going for a little ride.” He snarls, glancing outside at the black SUV with your colleagues. He grabs you by a hairful and drags you out the back door, shooting the gas station clerk before making the escape with you to his pickup truck. You’re shoved against the car door, back facing him, as he place a zip tie on your wrists and opens the door to sit you in the back seat. The unsub gets in the driver’s seat and starts the car, glaring at you through the rear view mirror, “I’m gonna have fun with you, fed.”

Meanwhile, back in the car Rossi stands at the pump waiting for the tank to fill and Spencer remains in the car looking over the case details once more. He can’t help but feel something is wrong, but can’t place his finger on it. He looks over the details again meticulously, searching for a fault anywhere in your, or even his own logic. Rossi closes the tank and hops back in the car, “She’s not back yet?” he pondered.

Spencer hadn’t even realized you weren’t back yet, “I guess not,” something wasn’t right, “She went ten minutes ago right?”

Rossi nods, opening his mouth to speak when a gunshot coming from the gas station cuts him off. The men look at each other, eyes widened and rush out of the car, weapons drawn.

“FBI!” Rossi enters, looking for any sign of you but coming up empty. Spencer takes note of the disheveled store, produce and cans lying astray. He steps around the mess to find an out of place bag of sour gummy worms on the floor in the middle of an aisle only filled with nuts and dried fruit. 

Sour gummy worms were your favorite.

A sinking feeling settles in Spencer as he tries to fight the reality his brain is trying to tell him. He looks to Rossi with a pained expression, and Rossi matches it back.

“He took her.”

___

The next few hours are a blur for Spencer.

Rossi called the team to meet them at the gas station, already telling Garcia to hack into the security cameras to find any clue of where he’d taken you. Emily and Derek were checking out the crime scene, Hotch and Rossi talking to the sheriff. JJ finds Spencer staring off onto the one road connected to the station.

“We’re gonna find her, Spence.”

He whips his head up at the sound of her voice, “I should’ve realized sooner. I knew there was something off about his MO, a—and I just couldn’t place it. And now she’s gone and it’s all my fault and I never—“

“Spencer,” JJ interrupts softly, “You couldn’t have known. None of us did, even her.”

“I should have,” he laments, “And if she…if something happens to her because I wasn’t paying attention…” He trails off, too afraid of what his brain thinks is the ending of the sentence.

JJ offers him a sympathetic look, understanding the conflicting emotions, “We’ll find her, she’s strong. You know that.”

He stares back at her hoping, praying, that she’s right and you’re going to be okay. You have to be.

He’s pulled out of his head by Morgan calling him and JJ over, telling Garcia on the phone to repeat her findings.

“Okay, I think I have a lead based on the security camera footage on the car he has and where it’s been last seen. I’m sending the last known coordinates to your phones now.” 

An idea springs to him, “Garcia, can you also check the gas station records and see how much he filled his tank?”

The clacking sounds of her keyboard ring through the phone before she speaks again, “He didn’t fill a full tank, only like, fifteen miles worth of gas.”

Everyone looks up at each other in realization of what the new information means. You had to be close by. Morgan walks over to tell Hotch, who immediately talks to a state ranger about setting up a 15 mile radius around the gas station with monitored roadblocks, no entry or exit without inspection. 

After Hotch finishes he walks back to Spencer and lays a hand on his shoulder, “Good job, Reid,” He nods back with a thin lipped smile and fiddles with his pen anxiously, “Are you okay?”. Spencer can’t tell if he’s genuinely asking him or if he’s asking him for the sake of him being able to do his job properly considering the circumstances. Ever the profiler that man is, he thinks.  He nods again nonetheless and walks over to meet Derek at the car.

Spencer and Derek get into the car and set the route for the coordinates Garcia gave, ETA 14 minutes. He swallows nervously, do you even have 14 minutes? What if he’s too late? What if you’re not even there? What if he never got to tell you—

“Reid. Are you even listening?”

“What?”

Derek raises his eyebrows as he glances at his friend, “Got something on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re a shit liar, man.”

“I’m not lying.” Even he doesn’t believe himself.

“Spencer—“

“I’m just worried! Okay? We’re all worried, it’s not a big deal.” he snaps.

Derek stops at a red light and looks over the console, “I’m going to ignore whatever that was,” guilt sweeps over Spencer’s face as he continues, “I’m not stupid kid, I know how you’re feeling. But you can’t let whatever turmoil you got in that big brain of yours affect this case. Not now.”

“I know that, Morg—“

“No, you don’t. I know you’re thinking about her, we all are. And we all want—need—her to be okay too. We will find her, but we can’t let the unsub get away too.”

Spencer sighs outwardly seeing the truth in his words. As concerned as he was about you he needed to remember this was still an active case. He couldn't let your past with each other cloud his judgement, even if the fallout still haunts him every day of his life. He needs to save you, but he also has a job to do. He just wasn’t sure if he’d remember that when they finally found you.

——

A pounding in your head stirs you awake, the bitter taste of metal flooding your senses as you come to. You blink a few times adjusting to the lowlights of the unfamiliar environment, hoping to find something distinguishable to ground you back to reality. It doesn’t help once you realize the blood crusted over your eye is the reason for your obscured vision. You attempt to rub it off on your shoulder ignoring the sharp pains shooting up from the abrasive contact. 

Once you think you’ve cleared enough you blink a few more times registering your surroundings to be a house, a cabin more accurately. Your memory is a little fuzzy as you try to recount what happened before you were knocked out cold.

Gas station. Unsub. Unsub at the gas station? But where was I…I went to the bathroom… and was getting…gummy worms?… But Rossi and Spencer were just outside… now I’m here…so does that means the unsub—

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

You jolt at the voice—the unsub you’ve come to remember—and you realize your hands are tied up behind your back, quickly coming to the second realization that you are rendered both injured and immobile.

“What do you want, Jason?” you say hoarsely after a minute.

He chuckles, “I didn’t know they made them so pretty at the academy…” he walks over and kneels in front of you, gripping your chin between his forefinger and thumb to move your head, “They probably kept you around for…entertainment right?”

You whip your head, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Oh, you’re feisty. That’s good, keep it up. Makes this more fun.” he walks back over to the table and fiddles with something, you can’t really tell from the floor, “So how’d they make it work back in—what is it called—Quantico! They take turns with you or? There’s so many of y’all, probably had a system.”

The pounding in your head makes it more difficult to process anything he’s saying, “The hell are you talking about, take turns with what?” you ask, wincing through another wave of pain.

He turns around holding a metal rod and walks over, angling the rod under your chin to tilt your face up to meet his as he snarls, “I can’t wait to see how it feels to fuck a federal whore.”

All the color drains from your face and you kick into whatever gas is left in your autopilot. Your feet are flailing in every direction, body thrashing violently to prevent Jason from getting a good grip on you. You quickly learn the purpose of the metal rod hearing the clang! first, a millisecond passing before the pain and threat of unconsciousness spreads through your brain. 

The hit takes you out long enough for him to pin you down on the floor, the weight of his body landing on you before the metal rod goes for your limbs. It’s then you realize the throes of death have wrangled you for what appears to be the last time, and it’s probably wise to start saying—thinking— your final words.

To my parents, I love you. To Derek and Penelope, thank you for letting me third wheel with you. Emily, I’ll miss our weekend Sin City excursions. JJ, please give your boys the biggest hug from their favorite aunt. Rossi and Hotch, you always cared for me like I was your own—I am so grateful for you.

And Spencer…Oh, Spencer. How I hoped I would have the time to say I’m sorry for what happened, I hope you’ll forgive me in due time. I wish I told you that nothing about us ever changed for me. You were and will always be, My Spencer, I just wish I could tell you one more time how much I lov—“

“FBI, Drop your weapon!”

A clattering sound of something dropping rings directly next to your ear and the weight that was on you alleviates at the same time. You groan out and instinctively curl up on yourself, the pain spreading throughout your body. The sensory overload is so much you don’t hear the approaching figure crouching next to you.

“Hey Hey Hey,” Spencer stutters, quickly making work of the ties on your hands and holding you gently as he lays your head on his lap cradling you close, trying to hide the forming tears when he hears your whimpers of pain, “You’re okay, it’s okay. The medic’s coming.” He looks back to where the unsub was and watches Derek put him in cuffs, nodding at Spencer before walking out with Jason.

“…Spencer?” you whisper out weakly. You think you’re dreaming honestly, that in the wake of death you learn heaven isn’t a place but only his arms.

“Yeah, honey, it’s me.” he chokes out looking back down at your bruised face. He’s unsure how you still look angelic even when you’re hurt, but it doesn’t surprise him that you do. You were always good at defying the laws of nature, he prayed it extended to your immortality.

“It hurts.” you pout pathetically.

He brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes gently, “I know it does, honey I know. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this happened. I should’ve been there. I’m sorry, baby.” he whispers tearfully.

You cough out and whimper in pain, “I’m sorry too.”

Spencer shakes his head vehemently, “No, don’t apologize. Don’t do that, just keep your eyes open for me, okay? I’m right here, I won’t leave you.”

The tiredness soon wins and your eyes flutter close. Before Spencer can even panic and beg you to open them again the medic finally comes and asks him—pulls him— to move so they can start working on you.

He reluctantly backs up and watches on with glossed over eyes, barely registering all the things they were sticking in you to wake you up. The medics stabilize your neck with a C-SPINE and lift you onto the gurney, wheeling you back to the ambulance. The same medic who asked Spencer to move comes up to him again, “We’re taking her to Georgetown Medical, you’re allowed to ride in the back with us if you want.”

You slowly come to again on the gurney and Spencer meets your open eyes before you even realize they’re on you. Without hesitation he says, “Yeah, I’m coming.”

The medic team lifts your gurney inside the rig, and right before Spencer gets in he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around to find Hotch, “You’ll be okay?” 

It’s a loaded question. He’s not asking if Spencer is okay at this moment, because it doesn’t take a profiler to see that he’s the farthest from it. He says it as a grounding reminder knowing how Spencer gets about you. It didn’t matter to the team if you both fell out, the pair of you never faltered in your subconscious for each other. Both of your actions always moved faster than your brains, especially when it involved the other. 

That’s what worried his Unit Chief.

He nods and Hotch gives his shoulder a light squeeze, “Keep us updated,” the concern clearly etched in his eyes breaking through his usual stoicism as he looks inside the rig, “We’ll meet you there as soon as we can.”

Under the bright lights of the ambulance he’s—unfortunately—able to really take inventory of the injuries you sustained. The blue and black bruising scattered your limbs, the congregation of it on your stomach telling him you have at least two broken ribs. His eyes trail further down your body before abruptly stopping, but not on an appendage.

Spencer’s face pales even further than it already has staring at the glint on the undone button of your trousers shining in the reflection of the light.

If they didn’t get there when they did…If he got to you a second later…He can’t even fathom to think about what would’ve happened.

He’s broken out of his spiral by the EMT sitting next to him offering a tissue, which is when Spencer feels the tear and snot streaks rolling down his face. He takes it and wipes his face mindlessly before muttering, “Can I just…” hands reaching out to you before his words come out. Spencer doesn’t notice the EMT tearing up as he gently buttons your pants.

——

You were a fighter.

At least, that’s what the doctors told Spencer when they came and updated him in the waiting room. He blanks out for most of the conversation, eyes unfocusing and ears on low lest your name be spoken.

“She’s stable and awake now, the nurse can take you back to see her.”

He shakes his head to recenter and mutters a thank you before following the nurse through the double white doors. His senses are heightened as he walks closer to your room. The scuff of his shoes on the linoleum floors, the pedantic beeping of machines in the rooms he passes, until he hears the only voice that’s ever been enough to calm the warzone in his mind.

“Hi, Spence.”

His feet move on their own accord right next to your bedside, hands hovering awkwardly at his side. He’s silent for the first couple minutes, just a faint sniffle here and there before he takes a seat near your bed and hears you speak again.

“You can touch me, Spence. I won’t break more than I already am.”

“Don’t say that,” he chides quickly, “It’s not a joke.”

“Well, someone should be the comedic relief here.”

He lays the tips of his fingers right on top of the tips of yours, “You could have died.”

Your face softens, “I didn’t though.”

“You could have.”

“Spencer—“

“Stop down playing it. You don’t know what it was like finding you like that.”

“I mean I have some idea, ‘cause like, I was there.” 

Spencer deadpans at your poor attempt at lightening the mood, a faint smile peaking through while he shakes his head, “Insufferable even at your deathbed.”

“Yeah, the Grim Reaper heard me yapping and said ‘keep her’.”

He chuckles softly as his hand moves further up to rest the front of his palm on the back of your hand, “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve…been better. The doctor said one of my broken ribs punctured an artery, a big one apparently,” you flip your hand over so both of your palms are touching but not laced, you softly continue, “Told me I was lucky I came in when I did. Any later the internal bleeding would’ve spread to my lungs.”

Spencer feels the tears springing again and a lump forming in his throat, “I’m so sorry, sweet girl,” the pet name slipping out before he could realize, “I should’ve gotten there sooner, or realized something was wrong at the gas station.”

“Hey. Don’t do that. You saved my life.” your fingers intertwine with his and squeeze with whatever strength you can muster, which isn’t a lot and it makes his heart clench tighter. “I’m here.”

He lets out the breath he’s been holding since he walked in, “You’re here.”

“I didn’t forget what you promised me when we…broke up,” God you wish it didn’t sound so terminable as it did, “I knew you’d find me. You always do.”

Another sniffle leaves him as he rubs his thumb soothingly on your hand, “I always do…Look, there’s something I need to tell you—“

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Penelope & Company burst into your room bearing balloons, chocolates, and many, many stuffies.

“How’s our girl doing?” Penelope huffs, hauling an entire Hallmark catalog worth of gifts in tow.

“She’s doing fine, Penny.” you chuckle lightly, trying your best to hide the wince of pain from your side, “You did not need to do all this.”

“Nonsense, everyone knows bear stuffies are the real medicine of the world.” she gleefully ignores the nurse onlookers, “I also brought you this, of special request by someone who shall not be named.” From her back she produces a bag of your favorite candy—sour gummy worms. A fact that you knew only one person was privy to.

You act surprised nonetheless, “My favorite! Thank you, Penny. And all of you, for coming to see my crippled self.”

Spencer watches the team take turns doting on you. Emily, JJ, and Penelope sit with you for about four Gilmore Girls episodes—another lost relic of modern medicine, according to Penny—after which Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch keep you company for a little bit before bidding you good night with forehead kisses and well wishes. Spencer stays with you the whole time, never once leaving your side. 

You are so loved, he thinks. He didn’t realize how much he liked watching you be loved. It makes him miss the times when he could do that for you too.

——

Weeks pass since the day of your kidnapping. You still find it weird to call it that, even though it’s literally what happened. You’ve been on house arrest—bed rest—begrudgingly, and while Penelope’s very glittery visiting schedule has kept you entertained, it’s been hard when the only person you really wanted to see has refused to come visit since you left the hospital.

You’ve asked Penelope why Spencer hasn’t come, and all she can offer you is a sad smile and a ‘He said something come up sweetie, sorry.’. Texting him seemed even more daunting, more because you weren’t about to beg for his attention if he obviously doesn’t want you to have it. 

The doorbell steals your attention and you glance over at the schedule before you walk over to open it, not expecting a visitor at this time.

Spencer looks up from his shoes hearing the door open, “Hey.”

A minute passes, “Why are you here?” you ask bluntly.

He looks confused, “I came to check on you, brought you takeout from the Indian place you like.” The food in his hand smells heavenly but you can’t seem to enjoy it yet without getting an answer.

“Why are you here, now?” you ask again with an addendum.

He either really wants to piss you off or his ear blew out on the way over but he chooses to ignore you and enter your apartment, “You having nightmares again?”

“What? No…” you lie poorly, straightening up your back, “Just tired.”

He chuckles, “Good to know you’re still a terrible liar. Did you know you wear Doctor Who shirts when you’re feeling anxious?”

Your brows fuddle in confusion but he elaborates, “It’s probably subconscious, something you find comforting and naturally gravitate to in times of distress. It’s a normal stress response but…you’re wearing an Eleventh Doctor shirt.” My Eleventh Doctor shirt, he thinks.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” you feign.

“Maybe it doesn’t,” he nods, “But you are anxious aren’t you?”

“Spencer, what the fuck is going on, why are you here, really?” your eyes narrow, arms crossing defensively.

“I told you, I came to check on you.”

“You just woke up this morning and decided it was convenient for you to see me today?” Spencer opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You stare at him with tearful eyes and the emotion spills out of you before you can stop it. You speak again after a few moments, voice barely above a whisper, “You left me. Again.”

He tilts his head, “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.” you grit out, “You were rooted at my bedside the entire time I was hospitalized, and the second I was discharged you were nowhere to be found. I thought, maybe with Penny’s schedule you’d come by, but then I came to find out that you didn’t even put your name down.”

“You almost died!” he retorts, “You almost died, because I made a mistake and you got hurt because of it!”

“So, that gives you the right to abandon me for the second time?”

“I didn’t…” he sighs out roughly, “I didn’t abandon you. I just, couldn’t…face you.” Face you, in pain, as a result of his actions.

“Is that what happened the first time you left?” you bite back.

His eyes steel over, “That was different.”

“I don’t see how.”

“You know why I left.”

“I don’t think I do, Spencer—”

“I left because I was putting you in danger!” he yells cutting you off, “I left because loving you meant dragging you into all the messed up stuff that happens to me, stuff that’ll keep happening to me.”

Tobias. Mexico. Cat.

A single tear rolls down your face, “That’s bullshit, I’m sorry. We work the same damn job, the risks are the same if we’re together or not.”

“You don’t understand—“

“Then fucking enlighten me, Spencer.”

He stares at you, fighting an internal battle of whether he was really willing to admit his truth to you, one that he knows you deserved to know but wasn’t sure if it would put you more in harm's way.

“Cat had details about your family.”

That’s not what you were expecting to hear. Your face drops, “Wh—What?”

His eyes dart around the room nervously, “After I got out of Millburn and we went to see Cat, she was trying all these tactics to get me to break. I was doing fine, until she started talking about you. She was saying things that only you told me, stuff that’s not even on record.”

You remember that day. You were supposed to go with him and JJ to the correctional facility but ended up stuck at the BAU because your skill set was more valuable in helping Penelope locate Mr. Scratch. You remember how he came back to you that day, distant and glassed over. It was easy to chalk up his behavior following it to his recent release, but when you woke up a few weeks later to an empty bed and a throwaway note saying ‘I’m sorry.”, you couldn’t figure out for the life of you why all of a sudden you didn’t exist to him, like you didn’t matter.

“I made a choice, one that I knew would protect you.”

“That’s not a decision for you to make.” you snap.

“I had to,” he says lowly, taking a step closer to you, “If being with me puts your safety at risk…” another step, “I’d rather live in a world where you hate me and are still here…” one more step, “Than one where you loved me and died because of it.” he manages to choke out, taking one final step towards you.

It’s quiet for a couple minutes, save for the soft whistle of the breeze coming from your open window. The resolve in you has long faded, leaving behind nothing but the skin on your bones to weather the damage. It makes sense to you why he did what he did, and you don’t know if the roles were reversed would you do the same thing. But you knew that you loved him and he loved you, and that alone should have been enough.

You can’t help but let out a whine, sounding like a petulant child, “That’s not fair, Spence.”

“What’s not fair, baby?” he softly whispers.

Your whine turns into a cry, “That, all of this. The fall on your sword act in which you decide what’s best for me is to leave me stranded, thinking I did something wrong that made you stop loving me.”

He steps forward a little more, his face mere inches from your own, “You think I stopped loving you?”

“Was I supposed to think otherwise? You couldn’t even stand being in the same room as me.”

His hands raise to gently cup your face, thumbs positioned under your eyes to wipe the fallen tears. He’s missed looking into your eyes as close as he is. For a man who doesn’t believe in religion he’s pretty certain the gates of heaven lie within your irises.

“I was selfish,” he swallows, “I wanted to keep you safe but I did so in a way that I felt was most logical, which turned out to be so fucking wrong regardless since you still got hurt.”

He brings your face impossibly closer, the warmth of his breath gently hitting your face.

“There isn’t a waking moment where I don’t love you. Even when we weren’t together, I still looked out for you and I made sure you were safe in ways I couldn’t tell you. I meant what I said. I told you I’d find you in every lifetime. I love you, in every lifetime, angel girl.”

The ache in your heart only grows with his words, reminding you that he always was and will forever be, Your Spencer.

“You can’t do that again,” you stutter out through tiny sobs, “You need to tell me what’s going on, whatever it is. We figure it out together.”

He nods softly, the hair on his forehead faintly brushing up on yours, “We figure it out together. I’m so sorry for everything, baby.” his lips press a long kiss to your forehead, “I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.”

You rise on your toes to meet your lips with his, the missed time and unspoken words flowing silently between you both. His hands wrap gently around your waist and pull you flush to his chest, with yours entangling with the brown curls you had missed so much.

Finally back in his arms, you sigh with exhaustion and relief, “You’re here.”

“I’m here, honey.”

[puppyeared]

this could just be "gatekeeping but im being really polite abt it" but. its less abt thinking only certain ppl should be allowed in, and more like i dont wanna open a pandoras box that makes it difficult for everyone to have fun. shrugs

i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

[dustpages]

Entangled Feelings (Mina)

WC: 7.5k

It could have been either bless or a course, you didn't know yet. She was the only person you could call family, yet her demeanour was far off from what is the classic representation of a good parent.

Mina adopted you when you were still a child, you had no memories of your biological parents. 

You have had the best education she could afford to give you, and she wasn't even that bad as a person to be around while you were growing up. She was fun to be around and was her fun to play with you to video games during your spare time.

Yet Mina didn't renounce to hang out with her friends and go partying when they had the chance, you had seen her coming home more than a few times wasted, but nonetheless the day after she was always up before you preparing breakfast for you. 

You weren't blind, you had always known Mina was a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Attractive but cute, able to stay at home wearing a flannel pj for a long weekend and going out all decked out like she was about to strike everyone's heart, and surely she could do it.

When puberty hit you, it did hard. Your hormones were galloping like thoroughbred, especially thanks to Mina and her mini dress she used to wear when she was around the house, and she could tell the effect she had on you. During the the years some of her panties went missing, and weird stains on her tops; all of that was a fun game for her. She was teasing you all along, and you were powerless against her. 

It was Saturday afternoon, Ginza, Mina wanted to go shopping with you tagging along. You weren’t enjoying the experience in the slightest, you didn’t like trying on clothes and most of all you found it unfair to carry all items in the shopping bags Mina bought. 

“Come on stop whining, you are just carrying the few things I purchased like a man should do for his woman. Now let’s head to the Fendi store there’s a new bag I wanna look for, if you are gonna be a good boy I will treat you to tonight’s dinner in my favourite sushi place”

During the dinner, glass after glass of the finest Krug champaign, Mina removed her white heels and without anyone noticing started rubbing her right foot on your tights and then manoeuvred to your pelvis area.

Taken aback by her actions you felt stunned.

“ Bloody Nora, what are you doing?” You yelled-whispered 

“I am just getting started, this is your treat after all. You have been a good boy for your mum” She praised you continuing the massage on your lower area.

Blue balls are what you got in the end. Mina received a text from her friend Sana, who invited her to a private party in a disco in Roppongi.

“I’m gonna fetch Sana by taxi and then we will head to Roppongi, you should get home and bring the shopping bag safely home. Our  business will be postponed” she smiled 

Mina didn’t even bother to ask you if you wanted to join her and Sana. 

“ Are you gonna party dressed like that?” You complained 

“ Of course I am. What’s the point of being all decked out if I cannot show off? Are you afraid I can receive some attention because of my outfit?” She mischievously retorted 

“ Suddenly I see, what I could not see, so suddenly you are showing your true colour. What kind of married woman goes out wearing a mini-skirt to show off her bare legs?” You raised the tone of your voice.

“ Someone who wanna have fun, goodnight baby ” Mina raised her arm to call a taxi and in the blink of an eye, she went off.

Gobsmacked you got home an hour later, shattered for carrying all the bags you tossed on the sofa. 

“Fuck off, how can she have gone to that party dressed like a hoe” You complained on your own.

5:12 in the morning. That was the moment you heard someone stumbling up the stairs.

Mina managed to enter your bedroom and let herself fall on the bed, landing inevitably on you. Jolted awake you tried to move Mina from your body, but unlucky she had arms and legs spread wide open like a starfish.

“ For god sake Mina, can you move you are smashing me?” you demanded 

Mina repositioned herself above you with her legs around your belly and her arms straightened on your chest, in this way, you had the chance to look at her face. 

The red lipstick was all ruined, the black eyeliner was all dripped down. She stared into your eyes for a few seconds before lowering her face and trying to kiss you.

“ Never in a million years, I will let you kiss me with those filthy, dirty lips of yours; which god only knows what they have touched” You pushed her back and raised your torso sitting on the bed.

“ You have to think incredibly high of yourself to come here in my room after having had some kind of affair with someone a few hours ago” 

“ I might have indulged myself with two salesmen tonight but I’m not satisfied in the slightest, I am still horny and needy. Please me.” She said 

At this point, you stood up pushing Mina off of you. You went berserk, the audacity she had to cheat on your father and the family's trust. Might have been the alcohol, might have been the natural bitchy demeanour, but you couldn’t bear to look at her so pretentious and bratty so you swiftly but not too harshly slapped her on her left cheek.

“ I don’t want a hoe in my house. What you did tonight is daunting to process. I am gonna sleep in the tatami room, you can stay here or wherever you like but stay away from me” You didn’t even look at her

As you were about to leave the bedroom.“ Your father knows it, he gave me his permission. I can prove it.”

“Stop it already. I don’t give a flying fuck if my father allowed you to be a free spirit while he is away. I can’t stand to live under the same roof with someone who acts as you do” This was your cue to leave 

Morning came, and you woke up with your lower back soaring due to not being used to sleeping on the floor. Mina entered the tatami room wearing a pair of trousers and a crop top T-shirt. “I am so sorry for my demeanour about last night, I shouldn’t have come to your room in the first place, let alone tell you about my night out. What can I do to make it up for you?”

“Don’t go and fuck around like a whore, you should be better than that. When Dad told me about your needs and that it was my new duty to help you with that I felt ecstatic, now I could have the chance to have sex with the woman I have been obsessed with for the last few months. Still, I was unsure about myself. I am not gifted as my father is down there and I have no experience.” You looked down

Mina closed the gap between you two and raised your chin with her right hand. “ I’ll not joke around the dimensions are not important but they are not paramount, if you know how to use your body you’ll have no problem at all. Plus from what I have seen you don’t seem so small either. I can teach you, and you can please me. It’s a win-to-win situation.” Mina softly kissed you on the cheeks.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch but I have been so horny since your dad left, it's so frustrating, so now, we are gonna have the first lesson if you don’t mind. I'll squeeze you dry until I'm satisfied". "Now, just take them off~" she sighed as you bit her neck. You put your hand into her trousers.

 "Don't rush into it" she whispered, she grabbed your hand and put it on her breast. Her tits aren't huge, but still satisfyingly handful. You slipped off your T-shirt, throwing it to the side. You leaned forward, kissing her breast through her bra, your hands worked their way up, slowly pulling her bra up. 

Your lips teased her breast, biting as she moaned. Your hands trailed down her hips, into her trousers, going right to her underwear.

Mina’s pussy was soaking wet, the love juice pouring onto my thighs like honey. You kneeled and helped Mina to remove her trousers and underwear. Inserting two fingers into her hole "Yabai" she moaned, as your fingers curled inside of her. She moved her hips down, pushing your fingers deeper into her pussy. Your pace quickened a third finger was adamant to be shoved in Mina’s fold. Her walls were closing around them, her hands pulled your hair causing your head to throb. You did not stop, increasing your pace, her pussy walls continued tightening as her body suddenly shook. She came as more of her pussy juice gushed onto the floor galore, shaking like a leaf during a tornado. She placed her hands on your head trying to stand still, as her orgasm subdued you removed your fingers from her womb and gave taste to her juice.

“You know it tastes like honey.” You stood up and not so gently pushed Mina on the tatami mattress. 

“Now go on. Fuck me.” Mina spread her legs and arms, waiting for you to put it in. You aligned yourself with her entrance, pushing in slightly. There was some resistance, but you could push past it and inside. You felt Mina’s pussy stretching to accommodate you. Mina’s walls pushed against your cock, and you both moaned. Mina’s cunt was tight and wet. You pushed in more. Without  further ado, no time to adjust was given to Mina’s walls, you rammed her pussy like a maniac, grabbing her hips and pushing her towards you.

Various positions were tried, fluids of all genres soaked the tatami mattress, and curses and blasphemies were yelled. Half a dozen of used condoms were scattered near the wall.

“Mina I cannot take anymore, I am about to cum” Mina kept riding you like she was trying to win a race at Ascot.

“Don’t come yet, I am about to. You have to pleasure Mommy once more.” Mina arched her back backwards as she rode her climax out, and then collapsed on your chest. Swiftly you helped Mina off of you and you removed your condom.

“Suck me off like you mean it Mina” Mina placed her lips above your member and bobbed her head up and down swirling her tongue around the tip. With your hands you pushed Mina’s head against your crotch even more, engulfing your penis in her throat. And within a few more minutes you coated Mina’s mouth in white, and as talented as she was not a single drop of jizz went out of her mouth.

With a resounding pop, Mina removed her lips from your member. “ You aren’t bad at all for a newbie. With my training, you will become perfect”

As both of you stood up, you abruptly pinned Mina to the wall almost choking her. “ No more fucking around you get me Miss. You have me now.” 

“ This is the possessive little boy I want. Fuck me like you did this morning or better and I have no reasons to look for any other man.” She smirked and rolled her tongue teasing you. 

It was a Friday late afternoon, you were climbing the stairs to go to your room. Passing by Mina's room you saw a multitude of clothes scattered on the floor, and Mina was in front of her mirror trying on the umpteenth outfit.

" Nope.. It's not hot enough" She commented about the outfit she was wearing. 

She looked up and noticed you entering the room.

" Come here, you need to pick what dress I should wear tonight"

You stood in front of Mina. " And why should I pick the dress? I'm not your boyfriend"

Mina's smile was like the sun breaking through the clouds on a rainy day. " Well, you might not be my boyfriend but you are my son, and your opinion matters. So come on, what dress do you want to see on me tonight?"

You felt a bit awkward, but she had put you in a situation in which you couldn't say no. So, you started trying various dresses on her. It took a good half an hour to find the right one. The final pick was a silver glowing top which left her back totally exposed , a leather skirt with black stockings and leather boots. You were feeling uneasy but you couldn't say no to Mina.

" So you really wanna wear that?" You asked Mina for the third time.

" Yes, I really wanna wear this. Now I wanna see how you wanna dress up tonight." Mina said.

" Me? Why should I dress up? I've never been told to go clubbing tonight." You retorted. 

"  Didn't I tell you that I'm inviting you out tonight with me and my friends?" Mina questioned. 

" No, you didn't." You said.

" Well, I'm inviting you. We will have so much fun together!" Mina's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

You were stunned. " I don't want to go clubbing, it's not my thing." You protested.

" Oh, you need to go with me and have fun. Come on, say yes, pleeease?" She begged you with her puppy dog eyes.

You couldn't resist her begging. " Fine. Let's get this over with." You gave up.

" Yay!" Mina shouted. " Now let's choose your outfit for tonight!" 

The next hour was a disaster, Mina was trying on different outfits on you like you were a mannequin. You didn't like it but you didn't want to make her angry. Mina decided you had to wear a black skinny jeans with a white tight T-shirt and a pair of sneakers. She had picked you up a brand new pair of black skinny jeans and she helped you to wear it. Her hands were feeling your body as she was checking if the fit was perfect.

"These jeans are too thight, I can't move my legs" You complained in front of your mirror. 

" It's fine, you look perfect, they aren't that skinny, you can move around, and you can wear it tonight" Mina insisted.

 You decided to not fight her, after all she had already won. She was the one leading this game.

Mina drove you to the club, you were feeling a bit anxious. You had never been to a club like this before and you were feeling out of place. Mina got out of her car and came to open your door for you.

" Come on, let's go inside!" She said with her signature smile.

Inside the club, the lights were flashing everywhere and the music was blasting your eardrums. The people were dancing as if they were possessed, it was like an inferno.

" This is insane!" You yelled to Mina.

" Isn't it? Come on let's go to the VIP area!" She shouted back.

Mina pulled you through the crowd, you felt like you were gonna pass out due to the heat. The VIP area was less crowded but still quite hot. Mina's friends were there already drinking and dancing.

" Here you are!" Mina shouted to them. " This is my son!"

Mina's friends were quite peculiar. You would expect a woman to have more female friends than males, here wasn't the case. In the group there were 4 girls, Mina included, and 6 men. 

All of them stared at you two with weird looks, Mina was the most shining star in the all universe and you were just an average young boy.

Her friends welcomed you two and one of her male friends came to Mina and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

" I'm so happy to see you. I've missed you." He whispered in Mina's ear. 

Mina was blushing a bit. " I'm glad to see you too! This is my son, isn't he cute?" Mina said and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Her male friend was taken aback by her question. " Yeah, whatever. I don't really care about him, you know who I am focused on" He said biting his lips.  

You didn't really like how he was acting, he was too flirtatious and Mina was playing with him like a cat with a mouse. 

You didn't care for her flirting, it was her life and you knew she wasn't gonna stop, you were a bit jealous but you were trying to ignore it.

Mina was getting a drink for her, and she asked you if you wanted one too. You refused, she pouted a bit but then she shrugged and took a sip of her drink. It didn't take long for her to start dancing, and her male friend joined her soon after.

They danced for a while, Mina was really moving her hips and her friend was getting more and more close to her. You were feeling more and more uneasy, the more they were dancing, the more he was getting close to her. You didn't know what to do, you felt like you needed to protect Mina from this creep but he was a friend of her and she was enjoying his company. 

 You didn't know what to do. 

" I think I'm gonna go outside for a bit.” You said to one of Mina's friends who were remaining at the table.

You didn't bother to wait for an answer and you went to the outside. You needed some fresh air, you were feeling like you were gonna faint. You didn't know how to process the feelings that were rising in your chest. You had always known Mina was a woman with her needs and her life, but seeing her like that made you feel weird. You didn't know if you were jealous or possessive of her, or maybe it was another reason why you felt this way. You just knew you needed some fresh air and a bit of time alone to think.

After 15 minutes you went back inside the club, Mina and her friend were still dancing and they were even closer than before, her arms were around his neck and he had his on her waist.  You felt like a dagger was piercing your heart, you couldn't watch Mina and this man dancing anymore. You needed to get away from there.

You went to Mina and her friend who had his head on Mina's cheek. " Come on Mina. I know you like me, if not we wouldn't have been dancing for a while now. Don't be a prick tease" He said to Mina.  

Mina laughed off, at that moment you went to her and stated that you were about to go home because you weren't feeling well.    

" I can go home by cab if you need to keep staying here. I've already called one indeed." You affirmed biting your tongue.  

" Oh, I don't like to leave you alone. I will go with you then" Mina said to you. 

" There is no need. You are having fun obviously and I am not feeling like staying here, I don't want to be a burden to you." You bowed and proceeded towards the exit of the club.   

  The fresh air immediately helped you to relax a bit,  you felt a bit better now that you weren't inside that hellhole anymore. You heard the sound of Mina's heels getting closer and closer to you, you didn't turn around, you kept looking at the traffic.

" What's the matter?" Mina asked you once she got near you.

" As far as I'm concerned I've already informed you about what I am about to do, so your presence here is utterly pointless Mina" You scoffed. 

" Why are you being like this?" Mina asked you, her voice was a bit softer than usual.

" Never mind. Look a cab is coming here" You stepped forward and raised your arm.  " Good night Mina. See you tomorrow"

The cab arrived and you went inside, you didn't look back at Mina once.

You went straight to your room as soon as you arrived home, you were feeling like shit and you wanted to be alone. Your head was spinning and you felt like boiling, luckily you were able to plop on your bed before you passed out due to the high fever.

The next morning, you woke up with the most horrible headache and your fever had risen even more. Mina was there beside your bed with a thermometer in her hand. She was wearing a white satin nightgown and her hair was untied.

" Good morning! How are you feeling today?" Mina asked you with a gentle smile.

" I feel terrible" You whispered your voice was hoarse and your head was pounding. 

Mina put her hand on your forehead, she felt your temperature. " Oh my poor boy, you are burning up"

" Don't pity me now, when last night you were all over your fucking friend." You said.  

" Oh, my son, you are so cute when you're jealous" Mina pouted her lips. 

You glared at her, you were feeling so angry you couldn't think straight. You didn't know why you were feeling so possessive of her, but you just felt like you needed to protect her from everything and everyone. 

"Please tell me you didn't fuck him last night" You pleaded. 

" Of course not! You are such a stupid boy. He isn't even the type of man I would go out with." Mina said and you felt relieved.

Mina got up and went to your bathroom. She came back with a glass of water and a pill. 

" Here take this, it will help you to reduce the fever."

You took the glass from her hand, she helped you sit up so you could drink it. You swallowed the pill down and gave Mina back the glass. She sat on the bed beside you and caressed your head.

" I'm so sorry if I made you feel like this. You know you are the only one I care about, right?" She said.

You nodded and she wrapped her arm around you pulling you close. You felt like you were gonna die of fever but you were so happy Mina was holding you that it didn't even matter.

Mina helped you to take off your clothes and she tucked you in, she didn't leave your side once during that whole day. She fed you and bathed you, she was taking care of you like a mother should do with her child. You felt so loved and grateful to have her as your mum. 

Mina took a week off from work to keep an eye on you. " Mina thank you for being here for me" You said.  

" Anytime for my son. I am so sorry again for the other night. I promise you that you are the only one I care about in this world" She said to you and kissed your forehead. 

" I'm feeling better now" You stated. " Sucking your tits would make me feel even better" 

 You smiled.

Mina chuckled. "  You are such a horny boy"

She moved her lips closer to yours, and you wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her to you. You started kissing her neck and you could feel her breath quickening. You pulled off her T-shirt and her bra and your hands went straight to her breasts. She was moaning louder as your lips went down to her nipples. You licked them, sucking and nibbling them softly. You moved your hands to her shorts, unzipping them and pulling them off of her. She was completely naked, you couldn't resist anymore. You pulled down her panties and pushed two of your fingers inside her pussy. You felt her juices dripping on your fingers.

She moaned louder, you knew she was close, but you wanted to make her cum even harder. You moved your fingers faster and you could feel her pussy walls tightening around your fingers, she was cumming and you felt her pussy squirting her juices everywhere. You didn't stop, you kept moving your fingers and she kept cumming until she fell on your chest panting. 

She smiled at you, she was so happy and content. You kissed her softly and she giggled.

" You are such a horny boy" She whispered. " But you are my horny boy" 

"Let me rest tonight and tomorrow I'll fuck the shit out of you"  You promised her.  She nodded and went to her room. You fell asleep with a smile on your face, you were so happy to have Mina as your mother. You knew you would do anything for her.  You were so in love with her. You knew that your feelings weren't right but you just couldn't help it. You loved her for the person she was. You knew that you would always protect her and love her no matter what. 

The next day Mina woke you up kissing your collar bone.  You opened your eyes and looked at her. She was wearing a black satin robe with nothing underneath. Her hair was down and her makeup was light.

" Good morning. How are you feeling?" She asked you. 

" I'm feeling great. I need to fuck you." You answered.

Mina smiled and crawled on the bed to your feet. She started to pull down your boxers, revealing your cock. It was hard and ready for her.

" Oh my, look at this. Looks like someone needs a blowjob" She giggled. 

She bent down and started sucking your cock. She was moaning and groaning with her mouth full of your cock. You watched her as she was sucking you. You were so turned on by watching her. You held her hair back so you could see her better. She was swirling her tongue on the tip of your cock, you were so close to cumming. She kept sucking and moaning until you exploded in her mouth. You watched as she swallowed all of your cum. 

" That was delicious. I can taste your love" She smiled and kissed you. You felt her tongue against yours and you could feel your cum in her mouth.

" I want you" You mumbled liking her ear lobe.  " I need you" You pleaded with her.

Mina laughed and lay down on the bed. She spread her legs for you and you knew this was it. You moved between her legs and she pulled you on top of her. You felt her hands moving on your lower back as you entered her. You felt her pussy stretching around you. You felt like you were in heaven. She moaned louder and louder as you started moving inside of her. You could feel her pussy walls closing around you. You were moving faster and faster inside of her and you could feel her juices dripping on your balls. You were getting close but you didn't want to stop. You kept moving and groaning until you felt her cumming underneath you. You felt her pussy squirting everywhere and you withdrew your cock and with the head, you rubbed her clit.  You watched as she was cumming even harder. You could see her juices dripping on her legs and your cock. You felt her shivering underneath you and you knew you should stop.

" Mina, do you want me to stop?"  You asked. 

" Please don't. I'm so close to another orgasm" She pleaded. 

You shoved your length inside her womb and grabbing her legs to have more grip, you plowed in her pussy mercilessly.  Mina was moaning and screaming as loud as she could. You could feel her juices dripping on your balls as she was cumming once more. You felt her pussy walls tightening around you as she was squirting even more. You were so close to cumming but you didn't want to stop. You kept moving inside of her and moaning. 

" Mina, I'm about to cum"  You said.

" Please fill me up. I want to feel you inside of me" She begged.

Your hips were in overdrive. With a few more thrusts you filled her womb with your cum.  You felt your cock throbbing inside her as your seed filled her pussy. You watched as she was cumming once more. You could see her juices dripping on her legs and your cock. You felt her shivering underneath you pulled out of her and laid down beside her.

" I love you Mina"  You whispered.

" I love you too my horny boy. You are mine from now on baby boy” She smiled.

————————————————————————————————————————

Mina was beautiful it was obvious to you but today was entirely different. She had chosen a black leather jacket and a tight, sexy jeans skirt. Her top was a tight jeans piece of fabric that hugged her curves perfectly and showed off the swell of her breasts. To finish it all, she wore white heels accentuating her long legs.

Her hair cascaded down her shoulders flawlessly and her makeup was spot-on. She looked like a million quid! But what caught your attention was how well she carried herself. An air of confidence about her made you weak in the knees.

All of that preparation to attend a concert on the first row, with me trailing behind her. King Gnu were her group of choice.

King Gnu, the band was known for its unique music. The lead singer Daiki Tsuneda was an average guy, you would have never paid attention to him on the street if you had run into him. But the moment he stepped onto that stage, something about him changed. He oozed confidence and charisma. The crowd was entranced by him. Mina, too.

Mina was dancing to the music, her skirt rising higher with each movement. She was a sight to behold in her sexy outfit, dancing seductively, her body moving to the rhythm of the music. And she was enjoying the show, her eyes were glued to Daiki. She looked at him with a look of pure lust. She was in a trance and she didn't even notice you staring at her. 

Daiki during a particular song decided to go down the stage and into the crowd,  Mina's eyes widened in anticipation. You felt a sense of jealousy creeping into your heart. He was playing on the edge of the crowd and he looked like he was in a daze, like he was entranced by the crowd.  He was looking right at Mina and she was staring at him. You watched in awe as they locked eyes for a moment. You could see the spark of attraction between them. 

Mina looked like she was about to melt under his gaze and you felt a pang of jealousy. The song ended and he moved on, but he kept looking at her, even as he was performing for the crowd, you saw his eyes wandering back to her. Mina looked like she was in a trance, her body swaying to the music, her eyes locked on Daiki. 

She looked like she was under his spell like he could make her do anything he wanted. The concert ended and Mina clapped enthusiastically. She turned to you and you could see that she was flushed. "That was amazing! Did you enjoy the concert? Oh my god, he is so hot. I am so wet just watching him." She squealed. You felt a pang of jealousy.

"Let's get out of here," she said and took your hand, dragging you towards the exit. You trailed behind her, her hand holding yours tightly. She was in a hurry and you stumbled behind her, trying to catch up. She stopped at a corner and looked around before pulling you into a small alleyway. "I need to feel your cock in my pussy. I am so wet and horny just thinking about Daiki." She said, her voice breathless and husky. She pressed herself against the wall and pulled you towards her. She spread her legs, revealing her wet panties. 

" Are you pretending me to fuck you in this filthy and miserable place while you are so wet thinking to that singer?" You questioned. 

"  Yes, I need it. I need to feel your cock in me. I am so wet. Please baby, I am begging you" She pleaded, her voice cracking. You saw the desperation in her eyes and it made you weak for a second.

" Me fucking you while you are picturing having sex with that singer, won't happen. Never in a million years" You laughed and stepped back. 

 She looked crestfallen and her face fell. " Don't tell me you don't want me." She said, her voice small. 

" Of course I do, you are bloody sexy today. But you need to understand that a no is no, even for someone like you" You said mocking her.  

She looked at you for a moment and then she smirked. " Fine, I will go find someone who wants to fuck me. I am so wet for you, but you don't want me. I'll find someone else." She said and turned to walk away. 

" Go ahead, you are just bluffing. You wouldn't dare to do that." You laughed and crossed your arms across your chest. She turned around and glared at you. 

" Watch me," She said and stormed off. You laughed and followed her, wondering what she would dare to do.

 She walked through the crowd, her eyes scanning the faces. You could see her sizing men up and discarding them. She was finicky about her partners, and anything regarding her life.  You followed her, amused at the scene. She finally stopped in front of a man and looked him up and down. She smiled and you could see her confidence in full bloom. 

" Are you looking for a good time?" She asked him, her voice husky and seductive. The man's eyes widened and he looked her up and down.

" I beg you pardon ma'am. I'm not sure to have understood what you said." He retorted politely.  Mina pouted. 

" Don't be shy. I want to fuck. Are you in?" She said, her voice confident. The man looked at her in surprise and then nodded. 

You had fun enough and it was time to stop her show,  you tapped the man on the shoulder. " Sorry, she is busy, my apologies." You said and pulled Mina by the elbow. She struggled to free herself but you were stronger. 

" You cannot stop me. I am a grown woman and I can do whatever I want" She said and struggled even more. 

" Sure you can, but I'm quite confident you will follow my lead now" You retorted and kept dragging her.  You heard the man saying " It's okay, I understand" and Mina let out a frustrated groan. 

In a swift motion you lifted her over your shoulder like you would do with a sack of potatoes. She  kicked and screamed in a way a child would do but you didn't budge.  

You reached the car and opened the door. You set Mina on the backseat and she crossed her arms and legs. 

" You are a brute and a jerk, you know that?" She spat out. 

" I might have been abrupt but not a brut." You laughed.  

" You cannot dictate to me what to do, I am not a child." She pouted.

" I adore you when you act like this" You said. 

 She glared at you. 

" I hate you!" She screamed.

" We both know that's not true." You smiled and kissed her forehead. She looked at you like she wanted to rip your head off. 

" I am going to make you regret this!" She threatened. 

You laughed and kissed her forehead again. " I am looking forward to it." You said and closed the car door, driving back home. Mina was silent all the drive home, her arms and legs crossed. You could see the anger in her eyes. You could sense her seething, and you were glad about it. It made you feel powerful to see her so angry. 

The moment you entered your house, she jumped off the car and ran towards the house, slamming the door shut. You parked the car and entered the house, following the sound of her footsteps. She had locked herself in the bedroom. You knocked on the door and waited. 

She opened the door and glared at you. " Leave me alone!" She screamed.

" Are you done throwing your tantrum?" You asked, amused. 

She looked at you like she wanted to kill you. " You have no idea how angry I am." She spat out. 

You nodded and started to undress and when you had only you boxer on you looked at Mina. 

" Take off your clothes." You ordered her. 

 She glared at you. 

" Are you kidding me?" She retorted. 

" I am dead serious." You said and she glared at you for a moment before she crossed her arms and legs. 

" I won't take off my clothes, you cannot force me." She said, her voice petulant. 

" Mina, I can see your nipples through your shirt, you are aroused and you want my cock in you." You said, your voice husky. 

" No, I am not." She said, but you could see the blush rising on her cheeks. 

" Don't lie Mina, I can see through your lies." You said and walked towards her. She glared at you and she tried to run away from you, but you were quicker and you caught her. You held her against your body, feeling her curves. She struggled to free herself, but you held her tightly. 

You lowered your lips to hers and kissed her deeply. You could taste her arousal on her lips. You could feel her heart beating fast against your chest. She struggled for a moment and then she gave in, kissing you back passionately. You could feel your cock throbbing against her body and you knew she could feel it too. 

" Still mad Mina?" You asked.  

 She moaned and you could hear the need in her voice. She was so horny, it made you laugh. You held her against your body and walked towards the bed. You threw her on it and she bounced a bit before looking at you. You undressed her and threw her clothes on the floor. She was left in nothing but her bra and panties. You admired her body, her curves, her skin, everything about her was perfect. 

You kneeled in front of her and removed her panties, spreading her legs open. She looked at you with desire in her eyes. You could smell her arousal and you knew she wanted your tongue on her pussy. You teased her for a bit, rubbing your hands on the outside of her pussy, and then you licked her clit. She moaned loudly and you could feel her body shivering under your touch. 

You sucked her clit into your mouth, making her moan even louder. You could feel her pussy tightening around your fingers. You knew she was close to cumming. You rubbed her clit with your tongue and you could feel her pussy spasm. She came hard, screaming in pleasure. 

You stood up and removed your boxers. Your cock was throbbing with desire. You positioned yourself between her legs and aligned your cock to her entrance. 

" Tell what you want me to do" You smirked.  

She looked at you with lust in her eyes. " Please, please fuck me!" She begged. 

" Where do you want me to fuck you?" You teased. 

She looked at you and you could see the frustration in her eyes. 

" In my pussy, you stupid brat!" She screamed. 

You laughed and entered her slowly, watching her face. She was beautiful in her pleasure. You started fucking her slowly, watching her body move under yours. She was moaning and panting, her legs wrapped around your waist. You fucked her slowly, feeling her pussy tightening around you. 

" Harder, please, harder!" She moaned. 

You obliged, grabbing her hips in your hand  and pounding into her. Her screams of pleasure were loud and clear. You could feel your orgasm approaching. You fucked her harder, feeling her pussy tightening around you even more. She came again, screaming loudly. You felt your orgasm approaching and you came hard, filling her pussy with your cum. 

You collapsed on the bed, holding Mina in your arms. She looked at you with a satisfied smile. " I guess I deserved that" She said. 

" Yes, you did" You retorted and she pouted. 

" Are you still mad?" You asked. 

She shook her head. " Not anymore" She said and you kissed her forehead. 

" Good, because I am not done with you yet." You said and she smiled. You kissed her deeply. 

You rolled her over, made her lying on her stomach.  You stood up and positioned yourself in between her legs. She spread them open, her pussy wet and gaping wide for you. You slapped your cock against her ass cheeks and she giggled. 

 You teased her entrance for a moment and then you shoved yourself inside her. She moaned loudly, arching her back.

You fucked her slowly, watching her ass moving under your thrusts. You could feel her pussy tightening around your cock. 

" Harder!" She demanded. 

You hold your grip on her ass cheeks and sped up your pace,  pounding into her. She screamed in pleasure.

" Take it Mina, good girl."  You said. 

She moaned and you could feel her pussy spasming. She was close. You fucked her harder, feeling your orgasm approaching. 

" Cum for me baby." You demanded. 

She did. She screamed loudly, her pussy milking your cock. You came hard, filling her pussy with your cum again.

You pulled out and she turned around looking at you,  a smile on her face. You held out your hand and helped her up. She stood in front of you, your cum dripping out of her pussy. She smirked and wiped her pussy with her fingers, tasting it. 

You laughed and kissed her. " You are something else, you know that?" You said. 

She nodded. " I know. Now, what do you want to do?" She asked, rubbing her hands on your chest. 

" Shower first then we will see"  You retorted. 

She nodded and walked towards the bathroom. You followed her, watching her ass move as she walked. You couldn't help but smack it. She looked over her shoulder and smirked. " Oh, that is how you want to play huh?" She teased. 

You grinned and followed her into the bathroom. The water was already running. You entered the shower and grabbed Mina's waist. She leaned against you, her ass pushing against your cock. 

" Mina we should shower and then sleep. Tomorrow I want to go to the beach with you" You whispered in her ear softly.  

She nodded and turned around looking at you. " Yes, that sounds lovely. Let's shower and then sleep."

You nodded and she started washing your body, her hands rubbing your chest and arms. You smiled and did the same with her body. She giggled and you could feel her body shivering under your touch. You washed her hair and she leaned against your chest, moaning softly. You turned off the water and grabbed two towels. You handed her one and dried yourself with the other. 

" It is better if we sleep in my room, the bed sheets in your room are not clean at all." You laughed.  

" I know, I made a mess on my bed" She smiled.  

You nodded and handed her a T-shirt and a pair of panties. " Here wear these." You said. 

She nodded and put them on. You did the same and then you went to your room. She climbed on the bed and you followed her. You held her against your chest and she smiled. " Goodnight baby" She whispered. 

" Goodnight Mina" You whispered back and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and you watched her fall asleep. You smiled and kissed her forehead again. She was perfect and she was all yours. You had her and she had you. You could feel her heart beating against your chest and you smiled, she was yours. Forever 

[aroacenezhaanddainsleif]

"demon child"

i think lmk li jing should have been worse :)

"Father-" Nezha's mech takes a step forward, metal clanging against the asphalt.

Li Jing swirls around, glaring with a gaze filled with both anger and fear. "SILENCE!" He snarls, lifting the pagoda in one bracelet-clad hand. "Do not make me subdue you once more, Nezha."

Nezha is no fool. He knows all of them can see him flinch, even through the layers of iron and steel. He knows all of them can see the spear waver in his mech's fingers, foot shifting backward out of defense.

Ever the savior, Wukong steps forward to his defense, brown-orange fur bristling. "Hey, what the fuck, Li?" He snarls, tail swishing in agitation. "Us I get, but your own son?"

Nezha's father raises his pagoda, glare tightening the wrinkles around his eyes. "You have no right to judge me, simian. Or shall I remind you-" the seal upon the circlet reactivates, and Nezha can only watch in horror as Wukong cries out in pain, dropping to his knees. The rest of his friends- can Nezha even call them his friends, with how little he knows of them?- try to resist the tug of the pagoda's magic, but their feet start to slip.

He doesn't want to go back to that lotus-painted door again. He doesn't want to be crushed and confined under a heavy floor again. He doesn't want his tongue silenced and his actions subdued again. He doesn't want to be trapped ever again.

...But isn't he now?

Trapped in compliance, frozen in time as he watches them lose this fight?

Nezha is no fool.

He knows he is a hound that has been muzzled and chained- he knew that when they took away his strongest weapons and raised a pagoda at him for harboring the slightest thoughts of disobedience. He has always known.

But for the sake of the trust MK talked of, for the sake of what Nezha once stood for- a two-handed spear breaks through the pagoda's cyclone, severing the magic. Nezha can only watch as the dragon girl yells for Mr. Tang, everyone staring at him with confusion and pity as a golden glow takes them far away.

He knows his punishment. He knows why the pagoda was created.

He leaves his mech, bowing his head before his father as he awaits what is due.

"...Return to the Celestial Realm."

He is given a mercy. An unexpected one, at that, but one that makes his bowed head sigh toward the asphalt with relief. As of now, his use outweighs his disobedience.

He watches his father take off toward the horizon, mumbling an apology as he disappears from the festively lit alleyway in a swirl of lotus petals. He knows what it's like to be a chaos child, destined for destruction- he can only hope MK will have a happier tale than he did.

"...So hey, are we just going to gloss over what the fuck just happened with Nezha??" Mei asks once she's back on her feet within the mountain cavern, gesturing wildly at Wukong to explain.

"He-" Wukong starts, then stops, scratching his arm. "His dad... I knew something about it, but I always thought people were exaggerating. Cause c'mon, Nezhy? I know he's got a temper, but that-"

"Monkey King, WHAT are you talking about?" MK scratches his head, leaning on Mei with a similarly confused expression.

Wukong hesitates, pacing against the stone ground of the temple, then sighs. He opens his mouth-

And is beat to it.

"That pagoda was created to subdue Nezha." Tang interrupts. He pushes his glasses farther up his nose, focusing his gaze on crumbling towers high above. "...I remember the story now."

When he's finished regaling the tale in a quiet tone, the Monkie Gang has reeled through a rollercoaster of emotions- anger, disgust, pity, sympathy, and rage. Pigsy rolls up his sleeves, marching out towards the nearest wall with a loud "I'm gonna go back and give that fuckin' 'father' of his a piece of my goddamn mind-"

Sandy lays a gentle hand on his shoulder, steering the chef back. "Pigsy. Not right now." He says, although nobody misses the clenched fist of his other hand.

Wukong sighs. "...I always thought people were playing it up, but... I guess not." He closes his eyes, trying to reign in the feeling of guilt bubbling up inside him. To think he bullied Nezha for it, not understanding just how conflicted he must have been... Most definitely not for the first time in Wukong's life, he feels like an idiot who failed a friend. But there's nothing he can do about it now- so he rolls his shoulders back, settling his bristling fur as he waves everyone towards the stone passageway. "Welp! Traumatic backstories aside, time to get the world-saving-adventure underway, everyone!"

As for Nezha... They'll all just have to hope he's alright.

[jakesangel]

dating college jake ꣑୧ - requested

𝜗𝜚 dating college jake means him going to your dorm everyday after class no matter how his schedule is or his studies goes. he would never give up on spending time with you, even whne his owns friends would make gargling noises in the back or calling him a simp. even if you aren't in the same dorm, or has to use the bus to get to yours, he will still go with you.

ah come on jake, you're always with her. your hear his friends whine to him as you see him jogging to you, sorry guys i gotta bring my girl home, he talk-yells since he is going further away from them. finally, in front of you, he greets you with a deep kiss as he holds your cheek. even if you enjoy the moment, you can still hear the playful gags in the background, but jake couslnt care less, put a hand in the back of your pocket and walks you to your dorm.

𝜗𝜚 he will make such a good impression to your friends. the perfect soft boyfriends, not shying away from showering you with affections or helping you n your friends with studies. they will all be jealous but support the both of you. and because of his looks and kind nature, you guys will be the it couple. everyone will know about you guys, even people u never heard of.

𝜗𝜚 jake isn't much of a party kind of guy, but college pressure needs to be cooled down with parties. he'll stay with you all the time and won't drink so you can have fun. even if you'd rather stay with your friends, he'll stay sober and keeps an eye on you, making sure of your safety. he'll never leave the party without knowing your safe. if any man come close to you or your friends with bad intentions, he will come to you and protect you, not minding causing a scenes if that means your safety is at sake.

𝜗𝜚 studies sessions together ᵎ they would often leads to make out but he swear he wants to help you at first. he will also cheer you up the best he can when you're stressed about school or your job if you're juggling between those two. he would come often to your work place, and support you there.

come baby, you've got this. he says softly to cheer you up. you've tried really hard to learn the definitions but as you don't understand, nothing seems to stay in your brain. but with the help of your lovely boyfriend and his kisses, it's easy to stay motivated. superposition is a term to ... ? he starts, hintinf you to finishbtbr definition, describe an object... as a combination of multiple possible states at the same time ? you answer, expecting to be wrong again. but to your surprise, jake smiles widely, showing you his teeth before jumping on the chair. that made a loud noise in the library but he didn't care, yeah ! you did it my love ! he says before kissing you.

𝜗𝜚 he will lowkey live in ur dorm, or you in his, you having a dormate or not. because looong cuddle sessions in your or his dorm after the exams sessions is a must. but also sleeping wiht you at night, the days you dont have classes together helps him have his shit together.

lemme stay the night, he whines, baby please. he gives you his puppy eyes + pout combo right in front of your dorm door for every girl passing by to see. he knows you love his pouty self and will give in but you surely hate more other girls seeing him like this, so he shamelessly whines loud and clear to gain everyone's attention. i miss you too much baby, he says coming closer to you, please ? you notice a little smirk of his, him confident yiu will let him in. jake, you spent everyday of this week in my doorm, what is my roomate gonna say ? everyone in the hallway laugh at the svenery, happening way to often. they all know you will give in, n are jusy wqiting for you to open your door. so you care more about your roommate than me ? his fake pout gets bigger along his voice. what ? no ? i didn't say that ! you hear the laugh in the background and you know you lost. once again. so you sigh as you open him your dorm. he walk past you, grining after kissing your temple.

𝜗𝜚 school break would also be with him, either him going with your family in vacation, or you with his, he needs his pretty girl in order to rest. it could also just be the two of you, camping or in his apartment, a healing vacation filled with cuddling, laugher and kisses.

note : i feel like this is so short >.< but tbh college is more about studying than anything else ... i hope you like it anon <3

perm tag list ( open ) : @allurecile @luvj4key @stwrjvke @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee @luvlyhee @en-ner-jay @en-chantedtomeetyou @erenmyman @hoonored @jlheon @ghostiiess @vlaeaex

[soy-soi-si]

Imagine y/n having to join the team as a stand in for another person that was supposed to be there. And everything goes wrong.

Tw. angst, brief torture, injuries, death, past abuse, helplessness, reader almost dying. Foul language! Really crappy writing and not proof read prolly missing a few Tw's as well.

Y/n doesn't like the group at first. They seem patronizing, constantly talking about the person who was going to join. Constantly asking if you could actually do what he was supposed to. Hell even when she was completing the mission they kept checking on her more than each other even if two of them were under fire. She got so annoyed with Price after the genuine thirtieth time he told her the step by step of what she already did.

“If you keep fucking patronizing me I'll bust your balls Mr. Price is right. Now fuck off I'm already done.” She sighs at the deactivated bomb having completely gutted it and made sure it's not going to explode. Not to mention rescuing the hostages and securing the building and her section.

The laughter over comes echo's in her ear as she turns to the man it was strapped to as he cries out his thanks. She already checked him for weapons along with the other hostages; she untied them all and now has them in a corner taking cover just in case. Mostly women and a couple kids like three men including the one she saved.

She also deactivated the other bombs in her building and surrounding. “Christ sake your feisty lass!” she scoffs in response to soap, no longer looking at the civilians “You cunts have done nothing but baby and patronize me the entire time I've been around you. Sit and spin you big bitch.” The others chuckle at the end of the sentence.

“What am I sitting on again lassie?” she smirks “My fuckin 31cm dildo I'm gonna fuck you with later.” The cackles echo from gaz and roach. She hums before turning back to the civilians. “She's right about you patronizing her.” Ghost's voice echoes from the coms as a gunshot does as well. “my sector is clear.” She blinks as she hears movement outside.

“I think some strays came to my sector. I'm hearing stuff outside.” She raises her gun slowly moving to a window. She catches a peak of a huge group of the enemy surrounding her building. “I'm surrounded, there's easily a hundred if not over. Shit!” she notices one of them aiming up at the windows and she drops down. “these guy were not fucking anywhere near here until now…” she pauses as she hears one of the radios from the enemy in the hall and she crawls over to the door and she spots it sitting out front by the dead body and she grabs it closing the door again.

She listens to them moving to defend the hostages. “shit, they're telling everyone to come to my building!” She puts the other Radio against her mic. “Find the hostages, and the woman…” that's all she can make out before the window shatters along with an explosion. “take her alive and kill everyone else.” her ears are ringing as she sees someone coming out of the smoker and she shoots at them.

Searing agony sweeps through her after a second. She couldn't even tell she screamed as someone tackled her. “Get the fuck off of me!” Shooting them straight in the face then she shoots once at any movement she can make out the gun quickly clicking in response so she drops it pulling her handgun.

Then it's knocked from her hand as soldiers shoot at her from the doorway and it doesn't take long for her to realize she's on the floor surrounded by enemies. Each hostage she just saved gathered in front of her an executive guilt filling her body as each of them are made to look at her. She can't lift her hands or legs anymore in pure agony as the adrenaline is gone and so is each person she just met.

The seemingly leader steps in front of her holding a knife flipping it in his hand smiling as he crouches down to her eye level. She saw his picture and couldn't help but recognize him. “Hello there doll, you mind telling me where the pretty boy who was supposed to be on this mission is?” she glares at him. As he taps it against her neck, lightly cutting her skin each time. “So you've got Intel from our base. Sorry but he's fuckin dead. Died off base via a psycho girlfriend who thought he was cheating on him.” he takes a second before smiling. “Amazing news, pity I didn't get the honor though.” he cuts her wire. “But I'll make up for that with you pretty girl.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

She never wanted to die, at least not like this, not after lying her ass off about everything they wanted to know as they tortured her. She wanted to gloat in their face after what she said gets them caught and killed. But she could be proud at least at the wide eye angel personality and face she's pulling the cries and blubbering all fake.

“Puhluse I've told you everything!” She sniffles crying in agony, her eyes wide as she's pushed into a freezer, one you would have in a garage for wild game or fish except it's more like a transport cooler in size. The lid slammed shut over her and it's pushed into a hole of sorts crashing into the side then onto the small box beneath her.

“No, no no!” She tries pushing the lid up but it's heavier and heavier as dirt covers it. “FUCKIN BASTARD!” She kicks the lid, not even budging. She lays as she notices how cold it is here, probably freshly turned off.

She takes a few deep breaths as she knows she'll die in here sooner or later. She searches for her phone in her bra quickly finding it. Looking at the battery it's almost dead. “Shit” 10% she quickly shoots a text to her brothers group chat. A simple I love you. Before she calls the number one of the idiots gave her before they actually went on field. She desperately listens to the ringing before it's picked up. “Are you the Sargent!” She can hear the vehicle running. “Yes it's fuckin me! I lied to them about the information. They're headed for West Point and go get them! I want them to die for this!” She tears up knowing damn well she's setting herself up to die sending them away from her she bites her lip sniffling at the bright screen in agony.

“I’m sorry I fucked up big time. Just tell my brothers I'm sorry and that I love them.” “Y/n where are you.” Price's voice now echoes from the phone. “Dunno, but I'll be, I'll be.” she chokes back a sob at the words memories coming back as she looks at the lid above her. “I’ll be fine, just go get 'em for me. West point I sent them towards the dummy container and warehouse they're looking for weaponry.” her hands are shaking as the cold gets to her.

“Y/n breathe for me what are your surroundings like right now.” Gaz practically chokes out his question. “They buried me. You won't find me in time even if you look. Just go get them! Stop worrying about me and go get them! I didn't just go through torture for you to fucking fail on me!” She is starting to get sleepy as she switches her phone to the most battery saving settings she can. Sniffling, she looks at the phone. “Please tell him I love him and that I'm sorry. He's the, he's the one that was supposed to be on the mission he's my little brother,” laughing once she sighs, “Thank you for everything even if it was annoying for you to patronize me.” She smiles at the screen as Ghost goes to speak “we’re not going to-” it dies in the middle of his sentence, leaving her alone in the pitch black. She begins sobbing uncontrollably holding her phone in front of her wishing it was still on.

“N-no, ple-euase, I don-n't wa-auhnnt to digh-ie,” she can't breathe with how much she's choked up. “N, Noaut liku- ke, th-This-ss,” she's just getting more distraught by the second as all the composure she's been keeping until now is gone. She just sits there remembering her life, her recent life, then her childhood remembering how her dad would lock her in their freezer when he got angry.

“Da-Daddy please I don't want to die like this.” she can practically hear him scream from the other side as white spots appear in her vision. “Shut the fuck up you little whore!”

She reaches up barely able to feel her body as she knocks on the freezer like how she used to since it was against her and her siblings room. She can't even speak as she can't move anymore and she turns looking at her phone again in her limp hand.

I'm so sorry, I said I'd be fine on my own.

She didn't even realize she passed out not until her eyes opened again as sudden warmth hit her, let alone how it grabbed her neck. “She's alive!” Roaches' voice screams from above her as she's ripped from the freezing cold and put on the burning hot dirt of the outback. Someone pushed her onto her back doing chest compression then grabbing her nose before blowing into her mouth her head tilted back. Once then twice. Then three times as suddenly she gains control of her breathing, her head no longer as fuzzy as she chokes breathing looking around dazed.

She's rolled onto her side. “She's lost a huge amount of blood, the freezer floors full of it!” She hears roach climbing out as she lays her head on the dirt, unable to move besides shaking, noticing the early signs of hypothermia in her hands as they're almost blue.

“I got her phone to come on!” Roach and the second person here get in the back of the buggy and she notices finally it's a blonde man with a balaclava pulled down showing his scarred face then she sees the familiar mask on the top of his head and the tactical gear and she hears soap cursing in the front. “Patch her up already you fuckin bastards!” she looks at Ghost, feeling her tear stained face clearly along with her snot caked onto her. Seeing some on him from mouth to mouth.

He leans over her trying to wrap her head but she reaches up using what's left of her sleeve to wipe off her snot and tears off of him. He looks at her surprised but more so worried. “Aren’t you handsome, sorry about the snot.” her voice is barely there as her arm falls as she passes out again.

She didn't know scared older military men were her type.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude vs. Nica - Chapter 2

Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.

For simplicity sake, I will be using Robin in place of Rotkehlchen. However, I will notate it with a (*) to let you know when he is using German.

Ftn [1] A straight is a hand that contains five cards of sequential rank. There are different kinds of straights. The highest card determines the strength of your hand.

Ftn [2] It seems Jude may have been the one to press the finger against the contract, but it does not specifically state this, so I left it as is.

The battle for my lips had began, but -

(So amazing…..)

Plump Noble: Oi, you lose again!

Pale Man: I-I don’t have anymore money! It’s all over for me…..!

Jude: Gonna stop? It’s only just started.

At the poker table, Jude had a straight hand and a pile of chips in front of him, [1]

(This is five wins in a row…..how does he do it.)

Although, I watched the players I suspected were cheating, I didn’t see any suspicious movements.

Pale Man: L-let’s bring this out! This a land transfer contract!

A piece of paper with a suburban address written on it was slammed onto the table.

Pale Man: If I lose, I’ll change the name of the holder immediately!

Jude glanced at the contract and smiled twistedly.

Jude: Alright, if ya lose, you’ll seal it in blood.

Pale Man: A blood seal…

Jude then grabbed the man by the collar and threatened him in a low voice.

Jude: Ya know what’ll happen if ya don’t keep yer promise.

(Jude’s so lively…..)

The cards were dealt again,

Jude: It’s my win.

Pale Man: No way, that’s cheating!

After signing the contract, Jude cut the man’s fingertip with a card.

Jude: Oi, ya hafta keep yer promise.

Pale Man: Oh, wait! I’ll do anything else.

He held down his bloody finger, and pressed it firmly against the contract. [2]

The man collapses when he sees the blood seal on the document,

Jude: Thanks a lot.

I snorted and was about to follow Jude away from the table when,

(There’s a a large group of women over there, but the one in the middle is…..)

At a roulette table, all the women were gambling as if competing for Nica in the center.

He then took a woman’s hand and kisses her on the back of it.

Looking closely at the table, I could see that all the women’s chips were in Nica’s hands -

Nica: I’ll bet on 15. What about everyone else?

Young Lady: 27!

Plump Noblewoman: I’ll bet on 3!

The women bet their chips one after the other.

Nica smiled seductively at the scene,

Nica: You ladies are such good girls.

Nica puts out just one chip as the roulette starts spinning.

The ball lands on the 15, and all the women lose -

(They look happy even though they lost…..?)

The women give their chips to him with spellbound looks on their faces, like they’re waiting for something.

Nica: Danke (Thank you). As thanks, I’ll give you something nice.

(Maybe he charmed the ladies into betting their chips so he could gain them?)

My mouth was ajar with surprise at how different his competition style is from Jude’s.

Jude: ….Whadda great personality.

Nica kisses the women on the cheek, says “See you later”, and then beckons us.

Nica: So then? Who earned more money, me or you?

(The amount of chips are the same, but….)

The one with the upper hand was Jude, who now held the land contract.

The roulette dealer rang a bell, and a man appears from the back.

It’s the same person I saw in a photo before the mission -

Viscount Smith: You’re both incredibly lucky. Would you like to have a game with me?

(It’s Viscount Smith!)

Jude: As ya can see, I already have ‘nuff chips.

Viscount Smith: It seems so. Then want do you want?

He glanced at me and I gave a small nod.

Jude: Since yer here, couldja gimme some information on the people who frequent the place?

Jude: Ya should be able to bet that much, with your current status.

Viscount Smith reacted slightly, but immediately smiled.

Viscount Smith: A customer’s information is a sign of trust, I can’t hand that over easily.

Viscount Smith: If we’re going to bet, it must be something of equal value. What are you betting?

Hearing those words, Jude at me with his chin,

Jude: A land transfer contract along with this woman.

Kate: WHAT?!

Jude: She’s healthy ‘n she’s learned all her manners. It’s up to ya whether or not to use or sell her.

Viscount Smith looked me up and down as if assessing me before he spoke.

Viscount Smith: Hmm, not bad.

Viscount Smith: Alright, how about we play a game of roulette?

(I’m sure he has some kind of plan.)

I held it in and kept quiet…..

Nica: Can I be included on that match?

Nica: It would be no good if I wasn’t apart of game where robin* was at stake.

Nica: Beside, don’t you think this roulette game will decide the winner?

He smiled provocatively when Jude spoke with disgust,

Jude: Whaddya bettin’, yerself. (Insert one Jude eyeroll.)

Nica: The ladies over there.

My gaze was set upon all the women that surrounded Nica earlier.

Nica: If I lose, you can do whatever you want with them, how about it?

However, there wasn’t a single complaint about being made a into bet, just by his raising his voice.

Viscount Smith: Very well, then let’s begin.

(What if they both lose….?)

Both of them turned to me as I was filled with anxiety,

Jude: Just watch ‘n keep quiet.

Nica: Robin*, I’m looking forward to our kiss.

At that moment the ball was released,

I held my breath and watched it’s course -

There was a LOUD explosion, and my body was thrown to the floor.

(What’s going on?)

Black smoke filled the casino, screams and shouts echoed all around.

Thin Man: If this place collapses, our debt disappears!

Apparent Male Debtor: Light the fire! Kill the manager!

Loud Man: It’s a riot! Run for it!

Gunshots ring out and I frantically look for them.

Jude & Nica: Kate!/Robin!*

I heard a voice, and two hands were held out in front of me.

(I —)

I reached out my hand to “him”.

This is such a pokeball moment: Jude Jazza, I choose you!

[Master List] [Jude End] [Nica End]

Dividers: @.adornedwithlight

Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka Please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tags list!

[gothmikasagf]

Project matchmaker

Pairings: Lucifer x gn!reader, huskerdust

Warnings: reader is bored, bad choices, Lucifer is clueless and just wants to make Charlie happy, very bad choices, some swearing, crack fic, don't take this too seriously, reader is a dumbass, no smut. You might experience second-hand embarassement, sorry not sorry.

Summary: Valentine's day is approaching and reader is bored and wants to play matchmaker with Angel Dust and Husker. Lucifer is accidentally roped into it because he wants to make a good impression on Charlie. Chaos ensues.

Word count: 3.5k

Notes: I apologize for everything in advance. English is not my first language. Let's pretend Lucifer is actually over Lilith for the sake of the fic. Very, very nervous to post this but here we go.

Residing at the Hazbin Hotel wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. It was actually pretty difficult to find free rent and good company in hell, so even if you weren't sure about the whole redeeming thing, you weren't bothered in the slightest.

You spent the majority of your days going along with Charlie's exercises and gossiping with Angel Dust whenever he was free. You thought of yourself as pretty lucky compared to the average sinner in hell, so you weren't really complaining.

Still, there was something missing, some other form of entertainment, a dynamic that would switch up daily life a little and make it less boring. And after the weekly movie night on Voxflix that's when it hit you.

Since Valentine's day was getting closer, you and Angel decided to watch a cheesy rom-com, one of those that makes you sigh and squeal even if you don't believe in that type of love outside of the screen. You were just wondering about who the main couple reminded you of with flirty banter and hidden stares when suddenly the best idea ever-kind of-came to you!

"You okay over there, toots?" Angel had looked over to you worriedly.

"Never been better!" you smiled at him and redirected your attention to the movie, a plan forming in your mind.

You weren't even sure if Valentine's day was still a thing in hell, but if it wasn't, you were going to bring it back.

What you didn't know, though, was that the very own king of hell was gonna be accidentally roped into your schemes. And that you would end up developing an embarrassing crush on him.

Two days after your (not so) brilliant idea, you were in front of Charlie's room, asking for an audience.

You were ready to oversell your cause if necessary, but you knew Charlie had a good heart, and the fact that this idea might be beneficial for the hotel gave you high hopes.

You told her how it would have been wonderful if you could decorate the hotel's lobby for Valentine's day because everyone deserves a little bit of love, especially in hell! And throwing a small party would surely attract some new sinners.

At the end it didn't take much convincing. Charlie was very happy to have the opportunity to lure more people into trying to redeem themselves, and Vaggie wasn't too opposed either, as long as it was kept civil.

And that's how you found yourself in this predicament.

"I think pink would be the best suited for it." You said to none other than the king of hell. He was hunched over a gigantic banner that read "Valentine's day" followed by various hearts, and his face was scrunched into a deep, concentrated face.

After your successful meeting with Charlie, you thought either she or Alastor would have been the ones helping you with the task of decorating the hotel, you didn't know how wrong you were. Alastor didn't want anything to do with the project, pretending to be fully immersed in who knows what he was able to come up with on the spot. And you guessed that's when the big boss of hell himself came into the picture; having heard of Alastor's failure, he immediately jumped in to try and make himself look better in Charlie's eyes, even if it meant having to work with a lowly sinner like you.

He wasn't as annoyed by your presence as you were expecting, even if you were kind of bossing him around to get everything perfect. You would have the time to regret this later, right now you couldn't afford to not have the right atmosphere for what you were planning.

He nodded in approval and magically switched the color from red to pink, leaving some red hearts to create a better effect.

This wasn't your first time meeting the king of hell, you were right there when he and Alastor started fighting over who was the best father figure to Charlie. Although you didn't get to talk much that time or the one after that, as he was busy kicking Adam's ass. You were amazed by his powers, as any sinner like you would, and you found him to be quite a peculiar person. So you were quite happy, and also a bit intimidated, to spend this time alone with him.

"Now it's perfect" you said, finally happy with the final result. You started to think of a way to put it up effectively without having to use the hotel's old and rusty ladder when he unfurled his wings and easily put it in place.

They were so majestic and you had never seen such a shade of pure white, it wasn't really common in hell. You wondered how he kept them so pristine after all those years.

"Are we done now?" He asked while landing gracefully on the ground.

You looked around the lobby and smiled proudly at yourself. The bar was adorned with pink and white garlands, and cute and small red hearts spread here and there. From the ceiling, some pink and white paper flowers you and Angel Dust made were hanging beautifully, and the banner just tied them all together.

"We're just missing a little something." You said, not looking at him in the eyes. This was going to be the real protagonist of the event, and convincing him was going to be crucial.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at you expectantly. "We just need some mistletoe right there" you pointed at a secluded corner near the bar, where surely you'd manage to rope Angel and Husker close enough so that they at least would have to address the heart eyes they sent each other all the time. They weren't being as subtle as they thought.

"Mistletoe?" Lucifer crossed his arms and looked at you, confused.

"Yeah, you know the one that people usually have to kiss under. I think it makes a lot more sense for Valentine's day than Christmas, if I have to be honest."

"That's-" he tried to say, but you interrupted him because you really needed it for the plan to continue.

"I know, I know, but I spoke to Charlie and we reached an agreement." you really hoped that mentioning Charlie's approval was going to be enough for him to do it. You also hoped he wouldn't actually ask her because you did not have her approval for it. You were playing dirty, but you couldn't just surrender halfway through victory.

The man in front of you sighed, but he did it, you secretly thanked your lucky stars and tried to act as less suspiciously as possible.

You were getting good at this. Maybe you should really start considering a career in matchmaking.

"What does the king of hell think?" You asked while admiring your work. Maybe he didn't exactly like you or find your company suitable for his tastes, but you still thought you did a pretty good job together.

"I think it's still missing something" he said, looking around. He had discarded the jacket and hat half an hour ago, and you were just noticing he looked really good without them.

You were so wrapped up in your little plan that you didn't even take a good look at him. And maybe it should have stayed that way because he was Charlie's father, and oh, when did the room start to become so hot?

"Maybe a duck or two" he whispered to himself while scanning the bar's decorations. You took a little break from the inner hyperventilating to look at the same spot as him.

Was it some sort of hell's tradition you weren't aware of?

Maybe it was the sudden temperature increase in the room, or maybe you just wanted to make a good impression after an hour and a half of bossing him around (what were you even thinking?) but you found yourself agreeing with him. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

That night, the party was in full swing. The hotel's residents and some other sinners who didn't hate the idea of the theme party were all gathered in the hotel's lobby.

Charlie was ecstatic and she was going from sinner to sinner to explain her cause and invite them to the hotel. A way less hyper Vaggie was following her around, making sure everything went smoothly.

Alastor was still nowhere in sight, maybe hanging out with his friend named Rosie; while Nifty was going around chasing with a knife two bugs she found banging. They weren't going to have a good Valentine's day.

You were sitting at the bar next to Angel Dust, who was happily chatting away with you and Husker.

Lucifer was nowhere to be seen; he had appeared just before the beginning of the party, proudly showing you "his latest creation". A pink rubber duck with a bow and a small red hat resembling his own was pushed in front of your face. "It's a backflipping duck who also spits fire, and it's Valentine's day themed!" He grinned at you.

"That's remarkable" you had said and placed it on the bar counter, away from prying hands that could use it for who knows what.

"This was such a great idea y/n! We should do this every year!" an excited Charlie appeared behind you. "My dad is gonna be back soon, but I have to say you two did a really good job with the place." She patted you on the back and went back to chasing sinners.

"Yeah, what prompted you to do that?" Husk asked from behind the bar. You looked at the drink in your hand and shrugged. "I was bored"

Angel Dust snickered from next to you. "Our little y/n watched too many romantic comedies and thought they would hit it off with short king and maybe go at it or-"

"Woah" you chocked on air while Husk hid a smirk pretending to wipe the counter. "Angel, what the fuck?" You looked around to make sure no one important was listening in on your conversation.

"You didn't say no" he laughed, throwing his head back while Husk was pretending to swipe the floor where a couple of the red hearts had fallen. He was so close to the mistletoe.

"Because I don't need to, you'd have to be crazy to think you can bag the king of hell of all people" you hiss while trying to think of a way to get Angel there too.

"Darling, his wife left years ago, and he clearly hasn't gotten it on with anyone yet; don't sell yourself short." You took the duck you had put away and pretended to throw it at him. Only you accidentally pressed it, and actual flames started to shoot out from its mouth, causing Angel to jump back and land on the floor right next to Husk!

Your eyes went wide, and you dropped the duck to the floor. "Shit, I'm so sorry"

"Oh wow, he fell right under it" a new voice added.

Lucifer was right behind you and sent you an amused but also slightly confused smirk. Did he think you tried to kill one of your friends to get him under the mistletoe? Well, no shit he disliked sinners.

"Under what?" Angel started massaging his ass cheeks, you winced a little, thinking the impact of landing on the hard floor must have hurt him.

"Oh, y/n didn't tell you? We put mistletoe right there" he pointed at the exact spot. Now you were starting to rethink this whole plan, but it was already too late, so you had no choice but to push through.

"You know the tradition, right?" Husk shot you an unimpressed look while Angel was still on the floor.

"C'mon, it's not like you have to make out like them" you pointed at two sinners who were getting it on in a corner ever since they stepped into the party. You couldn't really blame them, wasn't that the spirit of the festivity anyway? Any kind of love was supposedly appreciated.

Then something amazing actually happened: Husk took Angel's hand in his, kissed it lightly, and pulled a blushing version of the spider to his feet.

Considering the way they had been dancing around each other for months, this was a huge accomplishment, and it was all thanks to you! At that point, you were too busy mentally giving yourself a pat on the back for the good job to fully pay attention to something that resembled Charlie's squealing coming from the back of the room. Did she have a radar or something?

When you met Husk's eyes the next second, though, you knew you had to get out of there and fast or you were done for. "Happy Valentine's day" you winked at them before sprinting like the coward you were to the other side of the lobby, leaving Lucifer and his little pink duck to handle the consequences.

Realistically, Husk and Angel combined couldn't hurt him even if they tried really hard, so you weren't too worried for him, and the duck had demonstrated she could defend herself quite efficiently.

As the party drew to a close, Charlie had roped you all into helping to clean up the place. You were busy taking down the bar decorations, carefully putting them in a box to store them for the following year, when you felt someone come up behind you.

You turned around and saw Angel dust with a handful of the white and pink paper flowers. He was headed right for the box on the counter, not looking at you.

"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't mean for it to happen the way it did. You shouldn't have gotten hurt." You kept your eyes on the garlands, refusing to meet his eyes.

"No hard feelings toots, but next time I'm not letting you pick the movie. And no more romantic comedies for you" you laughed as he carefully maneuvered the flowers into the box.

"Okay, I deserved that" he smiled at you. You took one of the flowers and offered it to him as a peace offering.

He took it, careful not to ruin your hard work, and pretended to swoon over it. Your friendship was gonna be okay. Surely you were even now? You even gave up rom-coms for a while.

After successfully taking all of the decorations down, you were headed to throw the mistletoe into the trash. It had fulfilled his role and caused enough chaos already.

Halfway through the path to the trash can you spotted Lucifer magically fixing some of the hotel furnishings that had been destroyed by some sinners.

He stopped when he noticed you and started heading your way. Oh no, did he find out already? You couldn't just run the other way now.

"I just spoke to Charlie, and she was really happy about the party, but something tells me the mistletoe wasn't on the list of approved decorations" he raised an eyebrow at you, weight propped on his cane.

You huffed out a breath you didn't know you were holding in and scrambled your brain for an excuse. Surely he wouldn't hate you too much? Having the king of hell against you was already bad enough, but having the king of hell against you while you had a pathetic little crush on him was even worse.

"That was a personal project" you said reluctantly, looking everywhere but at him.

"Oh, and how did this project of yours go then?" you dared to take a quick look at his face, and his amused smirk, which made him look unfairly sexy by the way, was starting to make you think he was on his own personal mission to embarrass you.

"Fairly well, if we don't consider I almost cooked and burned one of my friends to a crisp. Sick duck, by the way."

"No, she's not sick, just themed." you almost burst out laughing at that. Maybe you should tell Charlie to keep him more up to date. "But maybe next time you shouldn't meddle with the heart's matters, you'll find out it's better if things just happen naturally" oh shit, how was he hot even while lecturing you? This wasn't good. He wasn't good for your sanity.

You held up the mistletoe to take one final look at it. "Yeah, lesson learned. I was just about to throw it out."

Only, Angel Dust chose that exact moment to carry out his revenge, and you should have absolutely seen it coming, it was once again your fault, and you could only blame yourself.

"Oh wow, they're right under it. You know the tradition, right?" He mocked. Husk was right behind him, two boxes in his hands, and he was holding in a laugh. They passed right by you and left you and Lucifer alone. You were really starting to question all of the choices that brought you to that moment.

Maybe if you asked him to kill you right there and then he would be kind enough to put an end to your suffering.

"Oh, fuck me" you muttered, your eyes scanning the lobby for the closest exit. Escaping without saying goodbye to Charlie wasn't an ideal solution, but you knew she wouldn't want to see your face ever again after this.

"Won't you at least let me take you out on a date first? I am more on the old fashioned side" he grinned.

You were sure you heard him wrong. It surely was one of those cases when you mix up what the person you like says in your imagination with what they actually say in real life. Was the mistletoe also hallucinogenic? You wouldn't be surprised if it was.

"I'm sorry for Angel Dust, sometimes he just doesn't know when to shut up" You immediately lowered your arm and hid the evil little thing behind your back.

"Should I take it as a no then?" he didn't stop smiling, but it looked less sincere now.

"Wait, oh-" you scrambled for an answer that wouldn't make you look even more pathetic "I would love to, but only if you mean it, this evil thing has already caused enough chaos" you finally tossed the mistletoe into the nearest trash can.

"Darling, you forget I'm the king of hell, no little plant has authority over me" he chuckles, and you smile at him.

If either of you noticed something resembling Charlie's squealing and her being dragged away by Vaggie, you didn't say anything. You didn't even think twice when you didn't see Angel Dust and Husk returning quite yet from depositing those two boxes into the storage closet; so you liked to think that at the end of the day, both you and Lucifer were right, letting things happen on their own was good, but a little push in the right direction didn't actually hurt anyone.

And when Lucifer planted both of his hands on your face to pull you into a kiss, you thought that maybe you shouldn't have thrown away the mistletoe at all.

[screaminglygay]

Warm welcome

pairings: kate bishop x fem!reader, avengers x reader (platonic)

summary: after 3 months of being gone, you finaly came back home, but there is a new addiction to the avengers, will the two of you come along?

warnings: new series so very very slow burn!, some swearing, bad grammar possibly (i hope not hehe), alcohol consumption, bad jokes, reader being little mess, that’s it for this part I think:)

word count: 5.5k

an: new series!! since i got back into being very obsessed with miss bishop, so i decided to start a new series, its gonna be long, cuz my ideas for this went crazy!

an2: and yes, this is an universe where everyone is alive, most of them are 100% happy and it´s just a safe space, come at me as you want, but i just need them to be happy. that´s all, thank you.

an3: yup i am back! so sorry! work, school and sickness is just not it. ill answer all of you soon! thank you for support, i see youuu!

!MDNI!

After long time away from you found family, you finaly came back home. It was supposed to be quick mission in Morocco, but after you found out that this is something bigger than some usual drug trafficking you had to stay. Not just for Fury´s sake, but for your own too.

And that´s how you stayed over 3 months in some old motel, that looked like a typical horror hounted house, alone. But that was a past, you´re currently standing infront of the main entrance of the Avengers Compound, ready to open the door and see everyone.

As you open the door the voice of a F.R.I.D.A.Y., the Stark´s AI. "Welcome home, miss (Y/L/N), should I contact the others that you are home?"

"No, no. I want it to be surprise. And (Y/N) is just fine, like I´ve said before, many times." you smile.

As you traverse the hallways, anticipation builds with every passing moment, knowing that you're drawing closer to that cherished destination—the main living room. The anticipation turns to a gentle excitement, a feeling of returning to a sanctuary that holds a piece of your soul.

And finally, as you reach the threshold of the living room, a soft sigh escapes your lips, and a smile graces your face. The sight of the familiar couch, but most importatnly the sight of your favorite people.

"That´s the question, do you put cereals or milk first?" you hear Pietro´s voice, smiling at the fact that he didn´t change a bit, still the same goof. Three months are not so long, but at the same time everything can be different in three months.

You watch him for a little bit and then you dediced to speak up. "Everyone who puts milk first is total psychopat," you calmly say as all of their faces turns to look at you.

"Oh my god! (Y/N)!" Pietro says and in a second he´s lifting you up and pulling you into a tight squeezing hug.

"Hey Speedy," you chuckle as he´s crushing your body. "Pietro... too much, ouch." He let go of you.

"Sorry, sorry. It´s been like what?" Pietro laughs and puts you down.

"3 motnhs, 17 days," you look at your phone, "4 hours, 18 minutes and few seconds." Pietro laughs at your comment.

"It was a long time, let´s just say that." You can hear another sokovian accent, this time the voice belongs to a woman. Wanda.

She hugs you close, hints of warm vanilla and soft lavender dance around you. It's a scent that feels like homecoming, wrapping you in familiarity and a sense of belonging. You smile into the touch, as you felt that the touch is soothing the ache of missed embraces. You feel the gentle warmth of her hug infusing into your being, fulfilling a longing for touch that has been starved for far too. "Hi." is all you can mumble, while hugging the girl.

"Hi," she mumbles back, no words needed for the two of you, both of you missed eachother like lungs misses the air. To be fair, Wanda was the first person you grew close to, when you´ve joined the Avengers. She was quiet, but so well spoken at the same time. You never had to explain things for her to understand you. And the same went the other way around.

The rest of the Avengers come into the living room and all of their faces lit up, when they saw you. All of them are here. Except for Carol, who is probably somewhere in the space, you haven´t seen her in almost half a year, since she had off world mission even before you went to Morocco.

You shared many hugs with all of them, and you didn´t mind it a little bit. You were so touch starved after being alone, that you hold everyone closer for at least a few seconds and all of them did the same. Suprisingly even Yelena didn´t said anything, like she always did.

You scan the whole room, chcecking if you didn´t missed anyone and you in fact did. But the person is not someone you recognize. There is this tall, dark hair girl, who looks pretty much the same age as you. She looks effortlessly stylish in her well-fitted blue jeans paired with a cozy gray sweater. The jeans accentuate her figure while the relaxed elegance of the sweater gives off a vibe of comfort. The girl looks rather awkward as everyone greets you. Not that she wouldn´t know who you are, she does, she heard a lot of stories about you, almost like she knew who you are, but you don´t know anything at all and that makes her feel awkward.

You look at her and smile, not knowing what to do yourself, so Clint steps in, "(Y/N), this is Kate, our new help, Kate this is (Y/N), our old help." You nod at Clint´s words and extent your hand for her to shake it.

"Pleasure to finaly meet you, (Y/N)." Kate smiles her hand has a firm grip.

"Nice to meet you too, Kate." You smile, maybe too much for a normal meeting. You have to admit she is georgous and her completly blue eyes are making you forget where you are right now.

"(Y/F/N)!" Natasha storms into the living room, her voice a sharp, controlled fury that cuts through the air, making you swallow... hard. "When did you arrived?" Even thoug she was mad for not knowing you came back, she was very relieved that you are okay and alive. As her hands wrap around you, you let out a squek and you froze knowing what comes afterwards. "Are you hurt?"

"I´m fine," you quickly say as the rest of the team watch you closely.

"I didn´t ask you, how are you, I´ve asked you if you´re hurt." Her eyes scans your face where she sees the little cuts you have on your face.

"A little bit." You mumble and Natasha raises her eyebrow. "I might have or might have not fallen out of the third floor, " you mumble again.

"YOU FELL FROM THE THIRD FLOOR?!" Natasha is basically yelling at you right now.

"Kinda," sometimes you were terrified of that woman, and that sometimes is now.

Natasha takes a long deep breath, "(Y/N), how do you kinda fell out of a third floor?"

"I´m gonna check her up." Bruce smiles and stand up, leading you to the hospital wing downstairs.

"Thank you, for saving my life," you whisper to him as you´re leaving the living room.

"Don´t mention it, but you know... she´s worried about you. We all have been." Bruce opens the door for you.

"I know, but I´m really okay, just few bruises."

...

After 20 minutes of checking you up, and hearing your story of falling from the building, Bruce looks shocked. He didn´t said a word yet, only wrote down something in his report.

"This is going to be a very long mission report, just from the medical side," he looks at you, "(Y/N)... you had your lower ribs broken, twice actually. And- I´m suprised you´re not screaming in pain right now. How do you truly feel?" Bruce finally looks at you.

"I feel good, really. I mean it hurts, yes. But I felt worse. It feels like a daily workout with Natasha," you shrug as you joke, but Bruce doesn´t seem amused by your joke, but he still nods.

"You know Natasha can look into any mission report, right?" He looks like he´s more scared than you are.

"I´m aware, yes." You give him a confused look.

"Well good luck..." he pats your shoulder, "just rest for the next days, keep yourself hydrated and don´t share the story how you fell from the third floor, please. She would lose it."

"But it truly wasn´t my fault I-" Bruce looks at you and you stop, "got it." You nod.

...

"Alright, so picture this: I'm in this quiet little motel in Morocco, writing down some information I found out that day. It's just me, the mission, and this cute little stray cat that kept showing up at my door. Every night, like clockwork, she'd appear, almost like she knew I needed a friend. So, one day, I caved and let her in. You know, against all mission protocols and stuff. Bla blah blah... but she became my only friend, so I would not lose my mind completly." You talk about your experiences on the mission.

"And then, the weirdest thing happened. One day, she just disappeared. I was worried, you know? Felt a bit empty without her there. But on my last day, she came back. And guess what? She brought company—tiny, adorable company. She led me to this corner, and there they were, her little kittens. It was like she wanted to say goodbye and show me her new family all at once. It was… unexpected, but kinda touching, you know?" You smile, thinking about the tiny family.

"It was truly cute and adorable, also it was kinda relaxing after seeing all the bad and negativity. Like... animals are truly precious you know." As you´re talking you didn´t notice another person coming into the living room, until that person decides to speak up.

"(Y/L/N)," you turn around and notice it´s Nick Fury himself.

"Fury!" You smile.

He didn´t smile back, he has the same old Nick Fury look, "I want your report soon..."

"Y-yes, sir." You nod your head, hoping he would welcome you a little warmer, but it´s Nick Fury after all.

"And (Y/L/N)?" Fury says while basically walking out of the living room already.

"Yes, sir?"

"It´s good to have you back." He smiles, Fury smiles at you. There go your wish of a warmer welcome. Nickolas freaking Fury smiled at you and welcomed you home, warmly.

You have a pround smile on your face, when Tony speaks up, "I work for him for god knows how long and he never looked at me this way..."

Natasha looks at Tony and smirks, "can you blame him?".

You sink into the couch with a grin, finally getting a chance to unwind in your home-away-from-home. After swapping stories and catching up on compound news, Tony steps in with a suggestion—a special Avengers night. Not his typical flashy party, thankfully. He calls it a "Catching Up Night," just a laid-back dinner and some drinks.

It's not about going all out; it's about the simple pleasure of hanging out with your superhero pals, sharing laughs and updates. Tonight's vibe feels relaxed, a chance to chill and connect without the whole party frenzy.

...

Like always druing these 'non party party' you and Pietro moved to the bar section, as he loves to make people their drink based on their personality and you just like to sit and listen to him ramble.

"Do you want a drink called 'Tiny cold' or 'Closet paradise'?" he smirks, being proud of his jokes, like the usual.

"Really? First of all I´m not that tiny, also I´m not in the closet. What do you want me to do, tattoo a pride flag on my forehead?" You raise your eyebrow.

"If it wasn´t true you wouldn´t get so defensive, darling," he winks.

"I hate you."

"No, you don´t." Pietro towers above everyone you know, his playful teasing is basically a form of big-brotherly teasing.

"I´ll get the closet paradise, please." You roll your eyes.

"Coming right at ya!" Pietro smiles, once again, he won your little fight.

"So, Pietro, spill the beans! Who's this new girl, Kate?"

"Ah, Kate, huh? What do you want to know about her?" Pietro say while making you the drink.

"Everything! No one's given me a straight answer. Or any answer at all. I mean I didn´t ask, but I´m doing that now..." You ramble.

Pietro smirks at your words, "I mean... she´s cool."

"Come on, Pietro, don't be like that! Is she nice? What does she do?" You are obvoisuly frustrated as not even Pietro is giving you any tea.

"Well, she's got moves, that's for sure. Quick on her feet, sharp with her arrows—" He almost finishes up the drink for you.

"Arrows?" You cut him off.

"Yep, a regular Robin Hood type, except with better aim and a cooler outfit." He put ice in the glass.

"Is she nice, though? Friendly?" You want to get to know her.

Pietro nods and serves you the drink. "Yeah, she's cool once you get past the whole 'I'm new here' vibe she's got going."

"What do you mean?" You smile at him for giving you the drink.

"Why don´t we invite her and you find out yourself?" Pietro says, not really waiting for your answer and he is already waving like a crazy person at Kate, who is still standing next to the table by herself.

Kate smiles as she notices, that she doesn´t need to stand there awkwardly alone, and she little less awkwardly skips over to the bar. Small "hi" escaping her mouth.

"Hey there archer, why were you standing there all alone, when you can have fun with us?" Pietro starts the conversation.

"I uh-" Kate starts, but no smart explanation leaves her mouth.

"Pietro..." you look at him.

"What?" He looks at you, not knowing what he did wrong.

"No, he´s right. I´m little socialy awkward." The tall girl responds.

You smile at her, slightly noding your head. "Aren´t we all?" You try to make her feel a little better.

"I´m not." Of course Pietro had to say something.

"Well you´re one of a kind, Speedy." Pietro smirks proudly, while you roll your eyes once again.

"Um... what are you drinking?" Kate nods towards your drink in your hand. It was indeed very pretty colorful drink.

"I am drinking a drink that Pietro made..." You say while looking at the drink in your hand.

"The drink has it´s name, (Y/N)." Pietro smiles innocently.

"Yeah, well... I forgot it." You simple just shrug while Kate looks very confused.

"I´ll get one too, please. It looks tasty." Kate looks at Pietro, who just giggles to himself and starts to prepare Kate one 'Closet paradise' too.

All three of you start to be a little tipsy after some time, since Pietro´ alcohol ratio was 2/3 and the remaining ingredients 1/3, he´s just a begginer behind the bar. You realized that Kate is such an easy person to talk to and she´s not that intoverted as you though the first time you saw her earlier today. She´s the exact opposite to be fair, she´s very talkative. In some topics more than Pietro, which you thought is impossible.

After a little bit you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, when you sit down on the toilet, you can´t hide your stupid little smile anymore. Why are you smiling? You don´t really know. But it´s nice, it´s really nice actualy.

After 10 minutes, you come back to the bar, seeing that Kate is sitting there alone. "Where is our bartender?"

"He was invited to an arm wrestling match and, of course, he went." You can notice, that Kate´s cheeks are a little flushed, due to the few drinks she had.

"Of course." You chuckle as you sit next to Kate on one of the bar stools and your eyes immedietly look at her. "Do you like it here? Being in the team? Superhero stuff?"

Kate´s eyes meet yours, "I do have to say, that I idolized it a bit, but it´s not so bad. Not at all." She smiles at you, "what about you? Was it hard being away from your family?"

You nod, "First two weeks were okay, it went suprisingly fast, to be honest. Another week was really boring and then... it´s just mashed in one big mess of fighting, bleeding, falling and running away." You chuckle, but the smile never reached your eyes and Kate notices that.

Kate knows that she needs to make you feel better, "I uh... you know people here missed you a lot. To be honest when i officially joined I felt like there is something missing in here.."

"Oh please..."

"No, no, really. When I moved in, Clint told me that no one gives better tours than you. He also told me that no one makes better coffee´s, which was a first big indicator, that you have to be a class." Kate let out a chuckle and so did you. You often had many stories to tell, when you were giving tours, even though you are the second youngest Avanger. And the coffee you make? It can bring a smile even to the grumpiest Winter Soldier.

"And from that moment I heard a lot of things about you, (Y/N). It felt like I knew you too, like I missed you too." Kate admits, after that she sips on her drink.

"Wow, that´s really... nice to hear." You smile from ear to ear. "I hope you heard only the good things though." You slightly blush. "But um... thank you, Kate."

"No problem." She smiles back.

"To be fair, I didn´t heard anything about you, but I would like to change that." Smooth.

"That is pretty fair." Kate nods as she finishes her drink and so did you.

"We can go to the roof." Is a sentence you said at the same time and you also laugh at the same time

"Roof it is." You chuckle as you two get up and aim to the roof.

Upon reaching the rooftop with Kate, a gentle but brisk breeze sweeps by, causing a subtle chill to settle around you. The evening's tranquility is undeniable, yet the slight coldness in the air prompts you to huddle a bit closer to yourself, silently wishing for an extra layer to ward off the chill.

"I don´t want to admit it, but Pietro makes really good drinks." Kate starts as you two sat next to eachother.

"He does, he´s the best, really." You mumble as you nod to Kate´s comment.

She looks at you, for a bit scanning your face, then she speaks up again. "Do you and... Pietro you know? Are you two together?"

That question almost makes you sober, "I- what?!" You look at her, "oh god no! No, no, no," you laugh.

"No? Oh sorry, I just... assumed." She lets out a little shaky breath.

"We´re close friends, but that´s all. I actually joined a little bit after them and since all of us were scared and going into the unknown we decided to stick together. Including Wanda." You explain the situation, while Kate nods at your words.

"Oh- I see." Her eyes are still on you.

"I wouldn´t choose Pietro in any scenario..."

"That´s harsh." She chuckles.

"I mean it in the best way possible, he´s... anyone who will date him is lucky and unlucky at the same time. Being his friend means having a strong willpower not to kill him, I can´t even imagine what it would be in a relationship with him."

"That´s fair, I guess." Kate nods.

"Give him few more moths and you´ll understand..." You let out a small giggle.

"So you´re not into cocky people?" Kate is bold, very bold. it shocks you, but at the same time it excites you a lot.

"I- don´t really know. I guess... if you´re nice to me, that´s all I´m asking, really." You shrug, once again making eye contact.

"Wait really? This little? Oh come on, not even type? Just 'Nice'?" Kate can´t believe your words.

"Yup. I´m not picky at this point."

"Oh wow, you´re one of the migty heroes, and all it takes to steal your heart is to be nice?" Kate smiles at you, trying to hold a laugh.

"And a good smile, I´m quite sucker for pretty smiles." You didn´t even register you said it, until Kate repeats it.

"Nice and a good smile, whoa (Y/N), be little humble." She nudges your side with her elbow.

"Very funny, Bishop. Do you know how hard is to find someone, who is actually nice? It´s hard these days." You sigh dramatically.

"Whatever you say." Kate lays down, looking at the stars. You watch her for a few minutes and then you lay down next to her.

It feels like you two know eachother longer than just few hours. The alcohol might be a little helper, but at the end you feel like you two are gonna be close friends.

"I still think that there is way more good people than bad, so you might have a chance..." she mumbles as she watches the night sky.

"You think?"

"I know that. For example here, all of you guys are nice, super nice. And I´m not saying it just because you´re 'The Avengers', but I can tell that no matter what you´re trying to do the best." Kate turns her head and looks at you.

"You know you´re part of this punk family too, right? And also it would be weird and kinda pointless, if some bad guys were in the Avengers." You chuckle as you point out.

"That´s not what I´ve meant and you know it." She rolls her eyes and looks back up.

"How did you even met Clint?" You ask, shifting your position so now you´re laying on your side, facing the archer.

"Um... I saved a dog´s life and he almost hit me with his car." Kate responds like it was nothing.

You laugh, "I have to say that is very original way to get into the team. 'You almost killed me and I won´t sue you, if you let me be an Avenger.' And bonus points for saving a dog´s life."

Kate groans and turns on her side to face you, "it was not like that... I was running away from a weird kinda scary looking guys, which later on I found out they were called 'Track-suit mafia'-" As Kate starts to explain how she actually got on the team and how she is basically the young and female version of Clint, you can´t help but notice how happy she is.

She's delving into these tiny details that might not matter to the story at large, but they mean the world to her, and you can sense it. Her storytelling consumes her so much that she's using her entire body, mostly her hands, to illustrate every bit of it. You find it incredibly endearing, the most adorable thing you've ever witnessed.

"Oh wow, so you´re badass basically." You laugh.

"I- yeah, you could say that too." She laughs as well.

"Well it is a honor and-" you sit back up, while you still look at her. "Thank you for your service, miss Bishop."

Kate smile and notices your subtle shivers in the chilly air, gently nudging you. "Hey, you're shivering. Come on, let's head back inside."

You attempt to brush it off with a weak smile. "Nah, I'm good, just enjoying the view."

She tilts her head, giving you a knowing look. "Sure, you are," Kate teases. "But seriously, you're freezing. Let's go before you turn into an icicle."

Reluctantly, you nod, giving in to the undeniable truth. "Alright, fine."

The door creaked open, welcoming you into the comforting embrace of the heated indoors. With a grateful smile, you thanked Kate for her concern, secretly relieved to escape the biting cold.

"There you are! Where have you been?" A slightly drunk Tony takes your hand, "thanks to me, being so amazing, I´ve got a little suprise for you!"

"I was- what surprise?" You give Stark a confusing look.

"It was not thanks to you, but Fury." As soon as the voice echoes through the room, you instinctively recognize it—Carol, immediately drawing your attention her way.

"Carol?!" You turn around and notice a tall blonde lady standing behind you, with her hair down and a black pants with a black tank top.

"I heard you came home." She said with her typical smirk, while her big strong hands wrapped your body. You simply just nod.

"How long will you stay?" You knew right away, that it won´t be for long.

"Just tonight, I´ll be leaving tomorrow early in the morning." You sigh, it was like this all the time, Carol will come and go, you didn't hold it against her at all. She is the protector of the whole space, not only The Earth. It was hard for her too, you hoped that she will remeber to be Carol for a bit, not only the Captain Marvel. And thanks to Valkyrie, she´s taking care of herself too, but after what happened to Monica, it became worse again.

"So still nothing?" Carol just shakes her head and you frown.

"But we won´t stop looking and we will find her." Carol is trying to be strong, but all of the people in this room knew, that it was just too much, even for a hero like her.

Trying to ease the situation you speak up. "Well then let´s ejnoy this few hours, all of us together." You smile, "I´m glad you´re home too, Car." She nods and smiles back at you.

"Natasha have mentioned, that you had fallen from third floor..." Carol sits down.

"You never finished that story, (Y/N)." The Widow stares at you and your eyes immedietnly search for Bruce, he only shakes his head.

"Oh um... it is not worth telling, nothing special nor interesting." You smile and quickly grab bunch of chips on the table.

Captain Marvel looks at Natasha and nods, "I see," and with a smirk on her face, she sips from her drink. "One would say, that it would be an interesting story to tell." Carol point out.

"Well it´s not." You take some more chips.

The night flowed seamlessly, filled with lively conversations and shared laughter as everyone talked and truly enjoyed themselves. It was one of those evenings where every conversation was engaging, every joke landed perfectly, and the camaraderie among the Avengers felt stronger than ever.

…

As you wait for the elevator to your room, you can´t help but smile. After a long day, today was really good. After you reached your room it didn’t took you long enough to fall asleep.

...

"MY BEST FRIEND CAME HOME AND NO ONE TOLD ME?!" You hear a voice yell at you. Before you can open your eyes, your hit with what felt like pillow.

"Huh?!" You blink a few times to get use to the light in your room.

"WHEN DID YOU CAME? HOW LONG ARE YOU HERE-" Now it was your turn to take the pillow and throw it at the person. As you finaly focus you notice that it´s Spider-boy himself.

"What time is it?" You mumble, still being half asleep.

"6 A.M. BUT WHY DID NO ONE TOLD ME YOU´RE-" And he is hit with another pillow.

"Don´t yell, please," you rub your eyes.

"You´re not happy to see me?" Peter sits next to you on the bed.

"I'm excited to see you, but maybe not with the yelling and at a more reasonable hour than 6 freaking A.M. I'll be much happier." You smile as you open your arms, inviting him into a nice early morning hug.

"Why did no one told me you´re back? I´m always the last one to know things." Peter whines dramatically as he pulls away from the hug.

"Well Tony told me you went with MJ and May on a dinner, so that´s why he didn´t want to ruin it." You shrug, "Anyways how are things with you and MJ?" You raise your eyebrow and he blushes a bit.

"Things are good, really really good, (Y/N). And yesterday dinner with May was really good, we all had fun." You smile at his response.

"I´m really glad." You are happy for you friend, it took him ages to finally confess to her. "Do you.. uh do you know Kate?" You look at him as Peter nods his head, "well... I met her yesterday, and we had a little converstaion on the roof and... she is nice. Really nice. Clint chose a good person" You say with a little blush on your face.

"Oh my god- is she like really really really nice?" He teases.

"Yeah..." You smile, knowing that Peter got your message.

"That is cute. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has a crush. Awww." Peter chuckles.

"Eww stop. I don´t know if it´s a crush, maybe it is... but you- " Peter cuts you off.

"Can´t tell anyone. Got it. Don´t worry. But under one condition..." Peter points up a finger.

"And that will be?"

"You have to talk to her, actually talk to her. Not just you´re super topic about the weather." You always talked to people about weather, when there was nothing else to do and you were dying to save the conversation.

"Easy." You smirk.

Spider-boy raises his eyebrows, "Easy? Let me bet, that you you will forget your own name when she looks at you."

"Oh shut up." You get out of the bed, taking just some oversized hoodie, since you already have a black swetapants and a shirt. "And since you woke me up this early, you´re making me a breakfast." Peter just nods as you two walk into the elevator.

...

When Peter starts to make you some pancakes, Carol walks in.

"There you are! I´m leavin for now, but-" You didn´t let her finish, you just rush to give her a warm long hug.

"I know. Just be careful and don´t forget to take care of yourself." The blonde one smiles.

"Copy that. So... see you later?"

"See you later, Cap." You salute her, which makes her laugh. And with that, Carol went into the skies once more and this time you hope you will see her sooner than in 6 months. The sentence 'see you later' is always better than a goodbye.

As you and Peter swap stories, reliving the adventures and crazy story times. Before he can finish his story about training with Bucky, a dark-haired girl strolled in, catching your attention.

"Morning." She smiles at you and then looks at Peter. Her raspy deep morning voice, messy hair and gray sweatpants with a white tanktop is something no one prepered you for.

"Hi, hello, morning, good- one!" Kate smile just widens and she goes past you to the fridge to get a fresh orange jucie.

Peter leans in closer and mumbles. "You owe me 10 bucks," having the most arrogant smile on his face. You just slap his arm.

"Can I get some pancakes too, please?" Kate watches as Peter flips another one on the plate.

"Of course!" He starts to make a few more, until he looks at his phone, "oh no! I completly forgot. (Y/N) watch the pancakes. I have to go, but you ladides have a good morning!" Peter gives you his spatula and even though Kate just nods and sits down, you know what his plan is.

"Bye Peter." You stare at him, but deep down you´re glad that you can spent some alone time with the archer.

He just sends you a wink and leaves the room.

"Need any help with the toppings?" Kate asks, watching you finish the rest of the pancakes.

"N-no, I've got it. I mean, I can handle it. Thank you, though."

Kate chuckles softly, noticing your nervousness. "You seem a bit flustered. Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just... morning jitters, I guess. I'm not a morning person."

"I see." She smiles.

"Do you have any plans for today?" You look up from the pan.

"Just the usual, a bit of training, maybe some archery with Clint later." Kate asnwers as you put some pancakes infront of her. As Kate tries the pancakes, you feel a sense of relief mixed with a tinge of excitement.

"The pancakes turned out pretty great! Anyway, how about we plan something fun for later? Maybe a movie night?" Kate say while finishing her last piece.

"Sounds perfect! I'd love that, Kate." Oh maybe early mornings are not so bad.

...

Over the next month, the bond between you and Kate flourishes, evolving into a deep and cherished friendship. Training sessions become a shared routine, where sparring sessions turn into moments of encouragement and laughter, each victory and defeat strengthening the relationship between you. Kate's guidance and support during training sessions spark a newfound confidence within you, making each session not just about physical exertion but also about trust and shared goals.

Movie nights become a beloved tradition, the occasional heated debate over the best movie snacks were on daily basis. It's these moments, cozy and intimate, where you find yourself drawn further into the orbit of Kate's infectious personality, her laughter becoming the soundtrack of your nights.

Walking Lucky, Kate's faithful companion, becomes a cherished routine. You find comfort in these quiet moments, admiring Kate's easygoing nature and her love for Lucky, feeling your admiration for her grow stronger with each passing day.

Yet, as your friendship blossoms, so do the feelings within you. What started as little crush has transformed into something deeper, a warmth that lingers whenever you're near Kate, a longing that grows with each shared laugh and meaningful glance. But you bury these feelings deep, treasuring the friendship too much to risk changing its dynamics.

thank you for reading! hopefully you’ll love this new series!!! 💕💖💞

[petew21-blog]

Life upgrade

Hi, I am Earl Montgomery. I am 34 year old gay man. I studied history and enhlish literature at Columbia and then I became a teacher. I have been working as a teacher since than and I have to say that being a teacher is one of the most honorable proffesions there are. You get to educate all the young minds and set them on a right path in life. If only they would listen to me during classes. Maybe my life wouldn't be so boring. The job takes all my energy. I never believed that so many teachers get burnt out, but man. Once you see that your job affects only few of those kids and the rest just doesn't care, you contemplate back on your life. What could I have done different? I could have had a happy, adventurous life full of fun and sex. Oh how I miss the sex.

Oh sorry, my bad. You thought the guy wearing sports clothes is me? Oh no no no. This is me actually

That guy is Barry. The gym teacher. He's the same age as me. But his life is much better. He works as a gym teacher, coach and in his free time he is a personal trainer in gym. He gets to coach all the hot bodybuilders and sometimes women, that lust over him a later on sleep with him.

I onced tried to hit on him, thinking he might be bisexual, but ended up being ignored for the rest of the school year. He started talking to me again recently and that's fine. If there is no drama it's all good. Besides. He has his own life full of sport and travelling around the world, fucking everything that moves. And I have my own life. My slightly boring and depresive life.

Who am I kidding? I hate my life. I wish I were Barry. To have his hot body, his libido, his life full of travellling and fucking everyone.

Suddenly it was so bright all around me. I was in a garage. Running. I stopped. Where am I? Why am I running? How did I get here?

I looked around but the place was empty. Then I looked down and saw the grey clothes for sport that Barry has. "This can't be". I walked over to the nearest car and saw Barry. No, I saw my reflection.

"Well well well. Can't ignore me now, huh?" I flexed my biceps over the shirt. So freaking hot. He is so buff. Must be amazing to be so strong and have strong muscles like this. His skin is so tense and beautiful. I gotta go somewhere more private to look what he's hiding under this. Don't know how this freaky friday will last.

Vibration in my pocket. Some girls want to have a private class with me in the gym. But the emojis don't seem like they want to take the training very seriously. Might be fun.

"Flex for the camera. Perfect!"

"Omg Barry, you're really hot. How did you get so big?"

"You think this is big... you haven't seen all of me yet. Haha" Where the hell was this coming from? Why did I say that?

"Really? We were actually thinking you coul help us stretch some time and show us how to do this to not hurt ourselves."

"I can stretch you both now in the showers, babes" Whyyy am I saying this. I'm not straight for fucks sake. Oh no. I'm not, but Barry is. I need to get back. I can't be straight.

1 hour later

"Thanks Barry. What a great personal class. Haha. Same time next week?" the taller oned asked while walking away from the gym

"You bet!" the sex was really good I have to admit that. But only this body craves it. Not me. I am gay, I don't want to watch pussy all day.

Phone vibrated again

Holy shit, A message from my number:"Hey, I don't know what you did to me, but I just jerked off for the third time thinking about my own body and I can't keep doing this... I want to swa... SUUCK your dick"

Oh maan, he has the same problem as I do. His body responds to what the person craved before, bout our minds didn't change our sexual orientation it seems.

"Came to your body's place in 30 minutes. Bring lube. Don't be late" I texted. I love this confidence the body is so full off.

And I bet I am gonna love the fact that my old body is gonna suck my dick very soon.

Haha. Gotta thank the istock photos for the inspiration

Story from inbox: Would you be able to do a story where a nerdy teacher swaps bodies with the hunky football coach. Maybe even cucking him?

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

I admire your patience with those readers who need you to spoon feed them the story. Everything is in the comics but they still manage to go pass it. I can't help but feel a bit sad for them? Do they not understand what they read? Are they not attentive when reading it? I'm legitimately concerned because I function so differently I can't fathom this. If you like a story, isn't it normal to make your best to grasp it's essence and reflect on it? I know I project a lot about this, everyone works and registers things differentely of course but sometimes it's very frustrating to see people consume any media and just completely miss all the important messages in it, or even just fail to get the scenario sometimes, and it feels like it's very common now... Idk I just wanted maybe to have your perspective on this? Sorry for the long post (Been here for a few years now and your a true inspiration to me. All my luv to you! ❤️)

You know, I'm gonna be honest. I used to stress out about this... a LOT.

As a story-brained person, this is definitely something that comes naturally to me, and perhaps to you, and to many other people who are wired similarly. To us, following the path of a story in an analytic, highly detail-motivated manner and unwrapping the themes can be as exciting as lifting up a rock to see the bugs underneath. It's an exciting mental activity that's stimulating and feels effortless.

And yes, as an author who spends literally 60% of my day thinking about this comic and how to draw it, panel it, script it, make it better (I script and panel in my head constantly)........ I have trouble realizing/dealing with the fact that some people are just here to CASUALLY enjoy the story that I am lowkey obsessed with.

But I've come to realize that... that's NORMAL! And healthy.

People have different attention spans for different things.

People have varied ways to read a story and engage with it.

People have unique interests.

People don't have the same amounts of energy to devote to reading!

Maybe someone missed a detail I lovingly and painstakingly put into the dialogue because they're reading the update late at night after a long shift at work. And maybe someone scrolled past the dialogue completely and just got the gist from looking at the art, because they're in a hurry to get to practice at their favorite sportsball.

And maybe someone just had a really bad day with a really bad encounter, and they're reading the update in a terrible mood and instead of seeing MY grey-morality narrative, they're focusing on all the negative points and misread the vibes because of their own biases that stem from places of hurt.

The thing is, I have to be okay with that as an author, because I will NEVER be able to get into my audience's heads and read this comic 'correctly' for my own sake.

They will always have a slightly different interpretation of things, and they will always misunderstand details and miss clues. And sometimes, they will be wrong about the way they read a character's motivations... and sometimes maybe they won't be! That's just a part of communication. That's a part of telling a story.

An imperfect delivery, and an imperfect reception should, in my opinion, be a natural and accepted part of storytelling. We're human, and we all have a different lived experience, and we will ALL have different takes on a comic, even if it's so close that we THINK we are both getting the exact same thing. That small human interpretation variation is a home-made touch that makes it feel more organic.

In short.... Not all light particles make it here from the sun, but damn the result is stunning anyway.

[sapphic-serenade]

Selfish

pairing: Atsushi x AFAB!cat!reader plot: You ask Atsushi to leave work early to help satiate your heat, and he does just that. word count: 2.2k contains: Reader has a cat ability similar to Atsushi's, reader and Atsushi are both in heat, reader and Atsushi are both using their abilities, established relationship, missionary, mating press, biting, tit sucking, unprotected sex, possessiveness, breeding kink, probably a lot of inaccuracies (virgin moment, sry), lmk if I missed anything a/n: Well well well my first one! I hope you guys enjoy it~ feedback is appreciated and encouraged!

Atsushi would never want to admit this, just because of how terrible it sounded, but he was being selfish. So, so selfish, but also so selfless at once.

He did what he always did when he had to leave for work before you'd woken up- plant a small kiss on your forehead, leave a small note on the table, grab his pre-packed lunch that you'd prepared the previous night and leave. Yet, he felt off. Everything at the Agency was business as usual too—his coworkers, the clients, even down to the workload—still, he couldn't shake off the physical discomfort he was experiencing.

Atsushi knew it probably wasn't the best idea to try and go to work during his heat, especially since you were also going through it at the same time, but neglecting what he considered to be one of his moral duties just felt scummy, especially for the sake of his own lust.

Still, he was having a hard time. Though he knew that his job was an important one that absolutely demanded his full attention, the memory of your sleeping figure lingered in the back of his mind. The sweet scent that hung around your almost-nude, warm body, plastered in a thin sheen of sweat...the simple thought was enough to make him hard within seconds. He'd barely even held back from waking you up to have a quick round of morning sex before work.

He thought it would be best for the both of you if he tried to stave off his urges until he got home, difficult as it may have been. Unfortunately, nature doesn't quite like when you go against it so brazenly.

At home, you were curled up in bed, feeling lonely as ever. Your libido was through the roof, and yet you couldn't do a single thing about it. Your fingers, while being an adequate option at any other time of the month, certainly wouldn't be able to get you through your heat. You needed your partner; needed him to plunge his cock as deep into you as it could go and fuck you senseless until you were full with his seed. Atsushi's scent hung on the sheets on his side of the bed, and you rolled over to cuddle his pillow. You were hot, unbearably so, and all you could think about was Atsushi. You felt like you'd die if you weren't stuffed with his cum soon.

Panting heavily, eyes tearing up, you reached over to grab your phone from your bedside table, your clammy hand almost dropping it on the ground. Clenching your teeth, you opened messages and scrolled to Atsushi's contact.

You almost hesitated to text him. Would making him leave work just to come and fuck you be selfish? At the very least, anybody else would deem it unnecessary. But they weren't writhing in their beds, naked and yet sweltering, feeling like they could burst at any moment. They didn't have any abilities that only exacerbated the discomfort, making them even more sensitive to sound and touch. They didn't know what Atsushi was capable of.

Biting your lip, you clumsily typed in three simple words and pressed 'send'.

Atsushi, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket, pulled it out and saw the singular notification.

i need you

Atsushi, in what would have certainly been considered unusual by everyone else, stood up without a word and made his way to the door, taking nothing and nobody else with him. It was as if he couldn't hear the objections of everyone else, or even the simple 'Where are you going's.

He was probably gonna get in trouble for it, but he'd long since tuned out any common sense by that point in favour of thinking about you and you alone.

This was selfish of him. Though he knew that coming home and having sex with you would undeniably make you feel better, it was ultimately for himself that he'd left work that day. He craved the feeling of your welcoming, wet pussy far too much, wanting nothing more than to completely fill you to the brim. He needed you just as much as you needed him.

The trip wasn't far, thank god. Atsushi didn't even take the time to remove his shoes when he got home, instead pulling them off haphazardly on the way to your shared bedroom.

When he soon burst through the door and laid eyes on you, he could have came right then and there.

You were stark naked in bed, desperately rutting against his pillow as soft whimpers left your mouth. Your feline ears and tail were on full display, twitching as if you were about to explode from the discomfort. Your red face was half buried in the blanket, your fangs sinking into the material like a teething toy as your catlike eyes were slightly glazed over beneath furrowed brows. When they saw him, you lifted your head and let out a small mewl.

"Atsushi..." you wailed, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "I'm sorry-"

"Y/N," he choked out, before shaking his head and approaching you. "Don't be sorry."

"I just...ngh-"

"I'm here, baby," he huffed as he yanked at his tie, climbing onto the bed. "I'm here now."

"'Sushi..." you whined, rolling over and exposing your sore, swollen tits to him. “I need you…”

"I- god, I need you too-" Atsushi hurriedly replied, crawling so that he was hovering over you. He immediately smashed his lips onto yours and your arms wrapped around his neck, effectively keeping your faces trapped together. You quickly parted your lips, allowing his tongue inside your mouth, and already you felt as if you could cum from his hungry, possessive kisses.

Atsushi finally pulled off his tie, and the pair of you hastily unbuttoned his shirt and trousers, pulling them all off until he was only clad in his underwear. His erection wasn't at all hidden, especially not when Atsushi grinded it against your wet cunt as he kissed you. The friction of the now-wet fabric made you whine into the kiss.

"C'mon, Atsushi..." you murmured, reaching down to grab the waistband of his underwear. "Please fuck me."

When you opened your eyes, you were met with Atsushi's golden, tiger ones staring back at you. His ears, tail, claws and fangs had appeared too, making him appear larger as he hovered above you. Atsushi obliged, helping you pull down his underwear so his cock sprung free, before tossing them somewhere across the room. You took his already-leaking dick in your hand, earning a hiss from your partner, and pumped it a couple of times. The tip was red and would have been very sensitive, but you didn't have time to tease him today. You just wanted him inside you as soon as possible.

Atsushi pulled back so that he was perched in between your thighs, and lined up his cock with your entrance. He prodded your pussy with his tip, gathering some of your slick, before looking into your eyes.

"Are you ready?" His grip on your hips tightened slightly.

"Yeah," you nodded, swallowing. "Please..."

You both let out loud moans as he finally sank into you, your wetness acting as a more-than-adequate lubricant. Atsushi did his best to savour the moment, slowly pushing his cock deeper, but the feeling of your pussy clenching him was too much to bear. You wailed as he bottomed out, the sudden pleasure coursing through your veins and leaving you shaky already.

Atsushi wasted no time, pulling all except his tip out and then slamming back into you. Your apartment wasn't a big and nice one, so your walls weren't exactly soundproof, but your judgement was too clouded to worry about the repercussions of your loud, borderline pornographic screams.

It was messy. Your kisses were sloppy, sweaty bodies colliding against each other in the most passionate round of sex the two of you had had in a long time. It was always like that during your heats. Your claws dug into Atsushi's back, scratching at his skin, struggling to keep a steady hold. His hands had an iron grip on your waist, leaving little red marks in your soft skin.

"'Sushi- shit-" you groaned, tossing your head back onto the pillow, overwhelmed with pleasure. "Ah, so good!"

"Yeah? You—fuck—you like that, beautiful?" He breathed, his eyes locked on your gratified, fucked-out face.

"Please, more!" You managed to gasp in response. "Want more...!"

Atsushi's mouth made its way down your neck, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses and love bites all across your collarbones and shoulders. He focused especially on your sensitive areas, fangs grazing over your sweet spots before burying into your skin. You moaned and whimpered with each new marking he gave you, making his dick twitch inside of you.

"Mm, so fuckin' gorgeous, baby..." he muttered against your skin, "Gorgeous, and all mine, yeah?"

Usually Atsushi didn't talk like this, his tone being more gentle and less vulgar, but he simply couldn't help himself. Not as he watched the bites that he gave you blossom into pretty little hickeys, marks that indicated that you were his, and he was yours. He increased his speed.

"Yeah- ah- all yours, babe-" you were interrupted by another bite, which made you cry out in pain and pleasure. The combination of feelings felt amazing, and you found it getting increasingly harder to talk properly. You reached a hand up behind one of his tiger ears, dragging your claws over the area. You felt Atsushi's body tremble above you for barely a second before he hissed.

"Fuck, Atsushi, give it all to me," you moaned through his thrusts, "Gimme a whole litter, c'mon..."

It was as if something inside him snapped. It wasn't that he didn't like the idea, but rather that he might have liked it a little too much.

Before you knew it, your body was folded in half as Atsushi's cock prodded against your cervix, making you see stars. He was so deep, hitting all of the most pleasurable spots that nobody else would ever reach. His clawed hands pinned your ankles next to your head as he thrusted at an inhumane speed, courtesy of his ability. You couldn't contain your wails, barely able to form any coherent thoughts let alone speak.

"'Sushi-!" you babbled over and over in unison with the headboard slamming against the wall. Atsushi leaned down and took one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking on it. The pleasure was almost too much for your body to handle, and you could feel yourself getting close. "Right fucking there, yes...!"

"Gonna fill you up, baby," he lifted his head, his lips connected to your breast with a thin string of saliva. "Gonna fill you with my cubs, make us a family..."

You merely moaned in response, as you felt the coil in your lower stomach tightening further and further, until it finally snapped.

You didn't breathe for a moment as your orgasm washed over your entire being, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You didn't think you'd ever felt so good before. From your cunt all the way to your fingertips and toes, the electric feeling rushed through you, making you writhe and gasp in pure satisfaction. Atsushi continued to relentlessly pound into you, and you could tell as you rode through your high that he was getting close too.

A few intense seconds passed by before he let out a guttural grunt and you felt his warm load shoot deep into you, painting your walls white. Your pussy fluttered around his cock, buried as far as it could fit, and he let out a raspy moan at the sensation.

"Ah, god, Y/N..." he whispered, as he slowly thrusted a couple more times, shooting out more cum before calming down from his own high. "Did so good f'me, baby..."

"Mmh..." Atsushi slowly helped you lower down your legs, but not before pressing a few sneaky kisses to your calves. He didn't pull out, not wanting his cum to spill out of your hole, but instead tilted his head back and let out a long sigh.

"Gonna stay inside, okay?" He asked, and you nodded. With the little strength you had left, you reached up and caressed his jaw with a sheepish smile.

"I'm sorry I made you leave work early."

"Hm?" He glanced down at you, taking your hand in his own. "Don't be- this was so worth leaving work for."

You chuckled at his words.

"Thanks, Atsushi, for this. I love you so much, you know that?"

With a smile, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. His fingers softly brushed over your stomach.

"I love you too." Atsushi breathed, his voice lighter than air. Feeling his breath fan against your swollen lips, you cupped his cheeks in your hands.

"Do you..." you paused for a moment. "Do you actually think that it took, just now?" Atsushi raised an eyebrow at your question, before his lip curled up.

"I don't know. Maybe, just in case..." he cut himself off by kissing you again, and you then noticed his cock inside of you, hardening once more. You smiled into the kiss, knowing that the two of you were gonna be there for a while.

MDNI banner: @/benkeibear

Tagging: @gettinshiggywithit @pillow-princess-diaries

(Please shoot me an ask or a DM if you'd like to join my taglist!)

[dexterkronos]

Why MothJohn when OwlJohn?

Okay so like being serious here; what's with everyone assigning Monster Johnathan Sims into being a Moth? Why can't he be an owl?

This has bugged me an inordinate amount and in true Eye Lady fashion, I'm gonna try to prove my propaganda ideation has merit (and also unravel this bloody mess).

--------------------------------------

Please help me unravel this with your own theories/responses/knowledge this is critical for my AO3 Magnus x (OwnSeries) AU

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Points for OwlJohn:

Owl symbolism in the Magnus Institute's logo

Owls (mainly the Little Owl) are associated with the Greek Goddess Athena (Goddess of Wisdom, Warfare and Handicrafts), and the Eye is a Wisdom-based Entity fragment.

Being an Owl (Athena) puts them at odds with Spider (Arachne), thus being reflective of the Eye (Watching) and Web (Acting) mindsets.

Harpy John! Like, hello???? Bird wings??? Being a big floofy owl creature like Eda Clawthorne from The Owl House????

Owls blink super quickly so like, metaphor for not being able to close eyes?

Points for MothJohn (so far)

Mentions of a 'chrysalis' in MAG 162

Death's-head Hawkmoths are apparently tied to supernatural/evil things?????? [Source: Wikipedia..? (i cant remember)]

Moths apparently represent transformation and rebirth??? [Source: some website labelled the "Tarrant Country College" idk i took a cursory glance]

Quote about being between a moth and a pilgrim [MAG 164..?] (Courtesy of @cirrus-grey )

Moths can have eyes on their wings to scare off predators (Courtesy of @nonbinarytoast)

If I've missed anything, please tell me because I'm genuinely curious for the sake of the Magnus-(Own Series) AU I'm cooking on AO3.

Might even try cooking a MothJohn vs OwlJohn propo image, or use one of my Archivist OCs for the Magnus-(OwnSeries) AU. Or both. Or all three.

(Also yes I know about Sphinx!Jonn and Dragon!John variations but there's no. bloody. owls.)

[gretavanbrie]

Landslide (J.T.K.)

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember, does he feel the same?

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

Warnings: no smut for this part just pure ANGST ;), established friendship, swearing, unrequited love, light portrayal of anger, jake & y/n are a little dramatic but aren’t we all?? mentions of childhood, alcohol consumption… if I missed anything lmk, I’ll fix it no issue!!

A/N: I’m actually really excited for this one!! This is based on the winning answer of this poll I did, if you guys are looking for a bit more context on what this is about. I may have hurt my own feelings a couple times amidst writing this, I had my Jake lane friend read it and she was not too happy with me so hopefully this will strike a nerve for you guys as well!! If not that’s cool too! My writing is pretty sporadic so I’m gonna try and put out as much content as I can if you guys end up liking this story. I’m a waitress so my hours are long and unpredictable I do apologize in advance lol. I’m debating on if I should leave this as is, or make two long parts, or even start a mini series…not too sure yet but lmk what you think!!! Also this is vaguely proof read. If there are any mistakes, bare with me.

Part 2 | Part 3

Here you were, standing in front of the mirror, clammy hands nervously smoothing down the fabric of the dress you adorned. You made it a point to pull out all of the stops today, you’d washed and beautifully dried your hair. You gave one last look at your makeup before running your hands through your hair and heading to grab your bag. You let out a shaky breath picking up your phone.

The boys were back from tour and some mutual friends were having a little gathering as a welcome back. Any other time you wouldn’t have been so uneasy but the conversation you had with Josh had been replaying in your head the entire time they’ve been gone.

“Are you ever going to tell him?” You immediately recognize that voice.

Everyone was outside as the small farewell party for the commence of the tour had somehow migrated towards the backyard of Josh’s lovely home. You clear your throat in an attempt to rid the uneasiness in your voice.

“Excuse me?” You turn setting down the bottle of wine you were going to pour for yourself. He stood at the entryway of the kitchen as you feigned a confused expression to which he saw right through.

“Y/n..we may not hang out as much as you and my brother do but I still know you just as well. If not more, it seems” you just stared at him for a moment trying to find a good way out of this before quickly turning around and finished pouring yourself a glass. With your back still turned you speak up knowing there’s no use in hiding it anymore, if there was one person you could trust with this information it would be him.

“It’s just not a conversation to be had, he’s my best friend nothing more. It’s just a silly crush it’ll go away” you waved your hand to seemingly brush it off as you turned to face him. Not the whole truth, but not necessarily a lie? God you didn’t even believe yourself, how could you expect him to. You brought the glass to your lips letting the smooth red ease your nerves.

“A silly crush that’s lasted since senior year?” The minute those words left his mouth your eyes widened in shock. Quickly swallowing to refrain from spitting your drink all over his nice white shirt.

“What do you mean by that?” you stare inquisitively not knowing he was privy to just how deep this ‘silly crush’ had run.

“Oh c’mon don’t play coy. Like I said, I know you. We were friends first..lest you forget.” You giggled recalling the vague memory of 2nd grade recess, he stepped further into the room before continuing on.

“You keep too much to yourself, you’ve gotta stop sacrificing your own needs for the sake of what you think the other person wants. Disregard me as his brother for the time being, right now I’m coming to you as a friend. I’m not here to pressure you into telling him anything, that is your own decision to make. I just want you to ask yourself if this is what you really want. I mean come on your twenty-seven now y/n. You think I haven’t noticed that you’ve refused to see anyone since summer going into senior year?’

“That’s not true” you cut him off, defending yourself.

“I wasn’t completely celibate I was seeing that one guy Liam for some time… a-and Henry my sophomore year of college. I’m just not looking for anything.” Truth was, you were at one point. You convinced yourself getting under someone was the only way to get over another. Until you realized neither of them were Jake and that’s why you could never see them as a part of the long haul.

“And did you ever make it official with them? Or better yet, did they last any longer than 8 months?’ He challenged. You looked down at your feet defeated knowing there’s no use in denying any more. You know he knows. There was a beat of silence before you spoke up once more.

“I’d rather him be my friend than nothing at all, Josh.” you said quietly looking up at him as he embraced you in a hug running his hands through your hair.

You hear him sigh before he quietly speaks into your hair.

“I know.”

———————————————————————————

You shut your eyes and shook your head as if to rid the memory. You had wracked your brain enough about it. Josh was right and you knew it, it’s been nearly 10 years but you hadn’t always had feelings for Jake. For a while actually you would nearly gag at the mere thought. Albeit there wasn’t much room for romance during the pre-pubescent “cootie” stage of your life.

Your parents and the Kiszka’s became rather close throughout the years. You and the Kiszka clan wreaked borderline havoc growing up. With all the trouble you got into it was only a matter of time your parents would cross paths. Once they realized the five of you were inseparable they decided there was no use in staying strangers. Danny and his family soon came into the picture and you considered yourselves a bond to never be broken from that point on.

Although Jake had deemed you guy’s best friends summer going into 5th grade year, you were closest to Ronnie in high school. You were girls together. During the time of first periods and finding out boys can be attractive you migrated towards each other and found solace together within the testosterone-tainted group you had formed. You’d always struggled making friends, you didn’t normally speak unless spoken to. You weren’t necessarily shy, you just always felt like you didn’t really fit in with all the rest.

Once you crossed paths with Josh 2nd grade, he left you no choice but to be his friend. He was overly inviting and basically dragged you to join him on whatever crazy idea him and his twin had gotten into next. You chose to not complain given he was actually nice to you and took time in making sure to include you.

You had remained school friends for the years following, hangouts limited to recess and lunchtime until around the summer before 5th grade when you moved a few houses down from their own. You saw them playing outside from your bedroom window one day and begged your mom to run down there and greet your friends.

You and your ponytail came flying out of the house screaming “Josh! Jake! It’s me!!! From Ms. Crowley’s Class!!! I live by you now!!!”

“Y/n!! Is it really you!! We can play at home now!!” Josh exclaimed, his twins' smile growing ten fold.

“You have to meet my brother and sister, we can all play together now!” Jake said, calling out for Ronnie and Sam. You were quickly introduced to the two and although they were a couple years younger, you were kids, and found joy in whatever silly games you had come up with together nonetheless.

As you sat up against the tree cooling off from the intense game of freeze tag you all had just played, you saw Jake walk up and sit beside you.

“I can’t believe you moved close to my house, loser. Today was fun.” the boy said, ruffling your hair.

‘Hey! Quit! I’m not a loser.” you laughed pushing his arm away.

“Yea-huhh, that’s why you couldn’t catch me during tag.” he mocked, you squint your eyes at him playfully before pushing him away from you.

“That’s why you have cooties!” You retaliated feeling defensive now.

“See! Sore loooserrr” Jake sing-songed.

‘You’re being a meanie now Jakey, it’s just a game” you pouted looking to your feet. You probably were just being sensitive but you hadn’t known better. His expression softened realizing his words might’ve stricken a nerve.

“Oh come on, you know I’m kidding, you’re my new best friend. Especially now that we live so close” he said, lips tugging into a shy smile as he softly elbowed at your side. You whipped your head up to look at him

“You think I’m your best friend? You promise?” You said as hopeful eyes met his own. No one had ever made it a point to deem you as such. A friend is one thing, but a best friend was something far more special in your mind.

“Pinky promise.” he assured, hooking your smallest of fingers with his own.

————————————————————————————

The sentiment was sweet and you were thankful you had friends like them growing up, it made life a little easier knowing you had a constant. Easier until teenage hormones came into the picture and Jake was no longer your boy-ish ‘best friend’ and had started growing handsomely into his features. His face became more chiseled, his chest a bit more filled out, voice dropping a couple octaves lower and not to mention he grew taller. It all happened too fast for your awkward teenage self to process. One day he was regular old Jake and the next he was…hot.

So, you did what you thought was best. Denied any and all attraction and gaslighted yourself into thinking it would go away. It was Jacob for fucks sake, your life-long friend who you considered a brother to you. You and Ronnie had gotten suspiciously closer that year, you brushed it off as ‘needed girl time’ but as years passed you realized you were just trying to distract yourself from Jake in hopes that if you saw him less, the attraction would eventually metastasize.

Boy were you wrong because Jake was adamant on including you in every hangout as he began to gain popularity. You had convinced yourself things would drift off throughout high school, thinking the boys would deem themselves ‘too cool’ to hang with you now and the silly pinky promise he made would be brushed off as immature to him. But it wasn’t, he instead kept his promise. His friends soon becoming your own, girlfriends never lasting long because ‘you and Ronnie are more important to me than any other girl’ he says. Finding yourself at their house more often than you had expected for this new chapter of your life and before you knew it, you had grown closer than ever, and your growing crush more suppressed than ever.

You were shaken out of your thoughts as your phone began buzzing. An incoming call from none other than Veronica herself. You quickly picked it up, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Girl where are you?! You promised you’d be here by the time I got here” you heard her whine on the other end. “Everyone is already mingling, the boys are late yet again and I have no one!” You laughed into the line knowing she was just exaggerating.

“Oh come on Ron, it can’t be that bad you know Mike a-and Dave’s girlfriend.” You tried reasoning, knowing you’d be just as anxious if your friends hadn’t showed up just yet.

“I’m sure they’re already there, talk to them for a little bit okay? I’m sorry, I’m leaving now I just got caught up finding what to wear” you continued, not necessarily a lie although you didn’t want her to know the real reason you were stalling was because today could possibly change the entire trajectory of your life. Dramatic to say the least, but true.

“It’s okay y/n, I was giving you shit. I’ll be fine… wait a minute. Did you say you were looking for something to wear?? You’ve never cared about that stuff, who are you trying to look good forrrrrr?” she teased.

“‘Oh hush Ronnie, it's just been a while since I’ve gone out and felt hot. Just needed a boost of confidence today is all, no secret fella or anything” you giggled.

“Yet…” she laughed.

“Yea yea whatever, let me go so I can head over” you said grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes.

“Okay okay, byeeee love you!” She said before quickly hanging up.

“Love you too” you said to no one in particular, smiling to yourself at your dear friend's abruptness.

There was no reason for you to be so nervous, it’s just the boys and Ronnie. It was Jake that had you so uneasy. You had replayed yours and Josh’s conversation enough times to knock some sense into yourself. You weren’t going to lay it on him full force but tonight was your chance to let your guard down and not shy away from him. Maybe even flirt, as best you could anyway, if things were smooth sailing. He’s been single for some time this was your chance to maybe plant a couple seeds. You wanted to see if there was even the slight off-chance he may just like you back and you’d be able to look back at how foolish keeping it from him was.

It was easier said than done as you started second guessing your entire look. You felt as though everyone would think you were trying too hard but that wasn’t the case, you’d gone out in more extravagant looks than the white linen sundress you settled on. It was flowy and stunning, casual but beautiful enough to make you feel at your best. Your hair cascaded beautifully down your back from your blowout, you put on your expensive perfume. You felt great, the only significant difference was that you wore a little extra makeup and you took the time to do your nails. You knew it was purely the anxiety talking. Plus, no one even knows how you feel about him other than Josh.

In attempts to calm yourself, your hand reaches for your phone as you stop at a light. Opening your Spotify you hit shuffle on your playlist. You sighed and smiled as the familiar guitar from Cannock Chase by Labi Siffre started playing. You and Jake loved this song, singing it on too many drunken nights to count. It truly was a beautiful song. You decided to just enjoy yourself and let the evening take its course rather than stressing out about it.

————————————————————————————

You pull into the long driveway of your friend Spencer’s house seeing all the cars parked out front. You find a good spot and walk up to the door seeing a few others talking by the front steps, you recognize his fiancé and smile politely walking towards her.

“My god, y/n is that you? You look absolutely stunning.” She smiled as she wrapped her arms around you before pulling away and linking arms, guiding you towards the entrance of her and Spencer’s shared home.

“Mmm and you always smell amazing, have you been inside yet? We missed you like crazy, Ronnie’s been inside waiting. I think the boys are here already though-“

“Thank you Claire, I appreciate it. I’ll be sure to find them” you cut her off smiling gently as you gave her hand one last squeeze before stepping inside. Claire is a lovely woman but has a bad habit of rambling, you find it endearing but others seem to tire of her rather quickly.

Upon crossing the threshold into their home you’re immediately greeted by the short brunette.

“Finally! The boys are here, come on, we've been wondering where you were.” You nervously laughed as Ronnie grabbed your hand and dragged you towards the backyard.

You weave through the small bunch of people gathered in the living room and kitchen before you walk through to the sliding door, stepping onto the patio. Josh spots you and immediately heads over to give you the warmest of hugs.

“I knew it was you, I’d recognize that perfume anywhere. Glad you could make it little one” you smiled in his embrace at his terms of endearment, your cheeks warmed at the sentiment.

“Thank you Joshy, I’m so happy to finally see you. It’s been far too long.” you smiled up at him before you were quickly swept away.

You startled as you felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind lifting you up and twirling you. You laughed recognizing the familiar cologne, you see his chestnut brown locks as he sets you down.

“And who might this lovely lady be?” Jake jokes, stepping back to get a good look at you.

“What an extravagant greeting, I see you’ve been gone long enough to forget about a girl like me” you joked back, hand coming up to rest on our chest as you feigned a look of hurt. Your favorite bit with him now taking it’s course.

“Ahhh, nonsense. A girl like you? Unforgettable'' he assured in his familiar cockney accent flashing you that infamous smirk you’ve grown to love. You looked down bashfully as you blushed yet again. You’ve almost grown sick of how quickly he can turn you into mush, you know he means nothing by it. You can’t help but wish maybe he did.

“Oh come on, you’re just saying that.” You laughed as you walked over to pour yourself some wine. Opting for a white this time given your attire. God forbid your nerves get the better of you and you spill it all over yourself.

You can’t help but notice you and Jake had accidentally coordinated outfits. He bore a cream colored blazer, akin to his cream colored pants. The muted brown button up he had on underneath was unsurprisingly left open with a couple of his pendants decorating his chest. He looked handsome, to say the least.

“Hmm you don’t sound so excited to see your lifelong friend, I’ve been gone for months and this is the treatment I receive?” He exaggerates, giggles escaping between words not able to take himself seriously.

“I thought we were besties y/n” he laughs, feigning a hurt expression knowing that would make you crack.

You can’t help but let a giggle escape your lips, the joke now running dry.

“Alright, alright. I guessss I missed you '' you say, wrapping both your arms around his waist. He gives the quickest peck to the top of your head.

“It’s good to see you sunshine, been too long” he gives you one last squeeze, you smiled at the old nickname he called you as you pulled away.

“Did you forget about us?!” You hear Danny exclaim. You whipped your head towards the back door sliding closed as the self-proclaimed “better half” of the band stepped outside.

“How could I? With the million random voice notes I’m sent a day…not a chance” You tease walking up to hug Sam.

“Glad I could aid, you look fantastic y/n. Definitely better than when we left” Sam teased tapping his chin as if in deep thought.

“Hey! Not cool man.” you jokingly retort as Danny comes up to give you a side hug.

“Yeah your hair’s longer or something or..you put on blush? Fuck, I tried. I don’t know what girls do but you look great” Danny says pulling back to examine you, you blushed at all the sweet gestures.

“She’s always been a looker!” Josh blurts in his exaggerated Midwest accent, raising his brows giving you a cheeky smile. You giggle at his candor.

“Yeah? You’re like…glowing, I’m glad to see you so happy. Also I didn’t tell you when I saw you but I don’t know why you were nervous on what to wear, this dress looks beautiful on you” Ronnie says smoothing out the flyaways on the top of your head. You and Josh make eye contact, he flashes you a look knowing exactly why you were nervous before averting his eyes and taking a sip of his mixed drink.

“Thank you guys I really really appreciate it, but this is a celebration for you! We haven’t seen each other in quite some time, let's make the most of it yeah?” You say raising your glass.

Jake would never say it out loud because he loved teasing you, but you did look rather beautiful today. Sam was right, you looked different. Good different. Maybe it was the hair, or maybe it was having some stress-free months without them. Jake knew they could be quite the handful and maybe this time away from each other caused this new glow, so he thought.

Whatever it was, he admired the way your hair blew softly in the wind. How the midday sun had created the perfect glow on your skin. He especially loved how the sweetness of your perfume matched your sweet personality. He was extremely proud to have you in his life.

“Cheers to that!” Sam exclaims raising his seltzer can.

“Alright! First order of business now that we’re all here "Josh butts in, waving a finger in the air. We wait patiently for his supposed plans, all you hear is the faint music for a second before he speaks up again.

“Yeah.. I’ve got nothing. Although it is a rather beautiful day..” he continues looking around at the beautiful midday sunlight. The six of us break into laughter at his wit.

“Doesn’t Spencer have a pool table? I say we play a couple rounds and catch up?" Sam offers looking around for approval.

‘I’m in, everybody down?” Jake speaks up, moving to stand beside you. Hums of approval circulate as we all migrate inside towards the billiards table. Before you fully enter Spencer’s spare room you feel a hand on your lower back. Turning, you're met with Jake's familiar caramel eyes.

“Hey.. whenever you’ve got time, you mind if I get a word alone with you?” He asks. You should feel worried given the question but he seemed…excited? You couldn’t precisely read the emotion clouding his irises.

‘Um, sure. I-is everything okay” you couldn’t help the anxiety that burned in your chest.

“More than. Just gotta share something special with you.” He says flashing you a warm smile, quickly easing your nerves.

“Okay then, I’d love that.” You smile before you two make your way inside the room seeing a couple of others have also decided they wanted a go at pool. You spot Ronnie sitting next to Danny on the loveseat and plop down beside her. Taking a long sip from your wine.

“Thirsty?” She laughs, boy she has no idea.

“Yea just needed some refreshment in my life, you know?” you wink at her before setting your glass on the table beside you. She giggles before continuing her conversation with Danny. You watch as the boys argue over who gets solids and who gets stripes.

“You ever gonna learn how to play pool y/n?” Jake teases knowing you’ve never been the best at it. You decide to entertain it.

“Only if I come across a good enough teacher.” You quip smiling up at him.

“Come on then, I think I know a guy” he smirks, reaching his hand out to help you up. You gently take his into your own, pulling yourself onto your feet. Josh takes your spot on the couch as Jake walks you both towards the table and hands you the stick.

You smile at Sam on the other side of the table. You immediately try and get into position going solely based on what you’ve seen. You hear a chuckle behind you as Jake presses himself against your back and adjusts your aim so it’s pointing towards the white ball. Your breath hitches in your throat at the proximity. He clears his throat before abruptly stepping back and shoving his hands in his pockets. Weird.

“Your position was correct, but you were pointing at the black one..you definitely don’t wanna shoot at that just yet” he laughs. “The white one does your dirty work, use it to bounce a striped ball into the closest hole. You and Sam will take turns shooting at your respective balls unless-“ you can’t help but snort, you quickly cover your mouth realizing you’ve interrupted him.

“Hey, get your mind out of the gutter” you just shrug as he smiles. He continues on demonstrating and explaining the rules until you feel confident enough to play a match by yourself. You were grateful Jake has always been so patient with you.

‘You got this y/n!” You hear Ronnie cheer, flashing you her bright smile. You blow her a kiss as Sam initiates the game. Your turn comes and you throw your hair over your shoulders and lean into position. Jake quickly averts his eyes to be respectful although Josh wasn’t shy with it at all.

“Damn mama, lookin good.” he playfully winks, raising his glass to you.

“Oh hush” you laugh before making your first shot that unfortunately didn’t go in but after a couple tries you got the hang of it and you and Sam were down to a close match. You hear Danny and Josh narrating the match like some football game as it comes down to the last few balls on the table until eventually only the 8-ball remains.

This was it. You were one hit away from winning, if you missed this Sam would win and you wouldn’t let that boastful man win any time soon. You may have calmed down over the years but you were still just as competitive as your younger self. You adjust the stick between your fingers, closing one eye to aim just right.

Point. Shoot.

The familiar thud of the ball falling in sounds. You swiftly turn to the long-haired man standing behind you.

“I did it Jake, I did it!!” You exclaim getting lost in the short high of your win. Letting your excitement get the best of you, you tackle him in a hug wrapping your arm around his neck.

“Can’t believe it took you so long to give in and actually play” he says, arms still wrapped around you, pulling back and staring at you. The realization settling in that you may be way too close for comfort. You swore you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips, you brushed it off as wishful thinking. You allow your eyes to run across his face a couple times. Seeing how the tour has treated him. His stubble subtly grew atop his lip, focusing on how soft they looked. His hands tighten around your waist as his breathing picks up. You realize you’ve lingered for too long as silence washes over the room.

You loosen your grip on him and step away from his embrace. You look around seeing everyone had dispersed talking with others. Suddenly feeling very awkward, you clear your throat adjusting the fabric of your dress before combing your fingers in your hair in an attempt to recollect yourself seeing as you now feel incredibly flushed. You clear your throat before speaking up.

“I think I’m gonna step out for a sec” you smile meekly, grabbing your glass.

“N-no yeah, by all means” he gestures towards the door adjusting the lapel of his coat that you had so desperately clung onto moments before.

————————————————————————————

You rush out smiling politely at everyone you pass on your way to the back deck. The sun has started to set, the beautiful golden hour shining brighter than ever across the yard. You step outside feeling the breeze brush past your skin, quietly thankful there was no one out here. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you sit on the porch swing.

You stare off trying to process whatever the fuck that was. God, he just made your heart flutter without any thought. The way he leaned up against you. The way his eyes seemingly locked onto your lips for a split second. It was all too much, were you being delusional? Either way you needed a breather before you made any mistakes. He was your friend, he would never deem you as anything more. He’s seen all your ugly awkward phases, there’s no way he’d see you in any sort of romantic light especially with the amount of beautiful women he meets, he could have anyone.

“Can we talk?” You heard his voice as the sliding door shut. You turn and meet Jake’s eyes as he steps closer in your direction.

“Of course! Sorry, I didn’t mean to just run off. I think the riesling might’ve gotten to me a bit” you force a laugh.

“Come sit” you continue as you pat the spot next to you on the swing. He adjusts his coat before taking a seat and running his hands through his hair.

“Ahh don’t worry about it, I just figured I wanna tell you sooner than later. This is special to me and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while” his tight-lipped smile showing as he toys with his bracelets before looking up and turning to face you.

He grabs both your hands in his and your heart beat quickly accelerates.

“You’re important to me, y/n. And I think it’s time I share this with you, I can’t hide it any longer. I've been avoiding it because I couldn’t find the right words to say…” he says as his eyes lock in on your own, his thumb gently rubbing over your fingers.

What the fuck is happening? You think to yourself.

“What is it, Jake? You can tell me anything you know..” you say hopeful eyes gazing up at him.

If this was going in the direction you’d hoped, all your dreams would come true. You quickly brushed it off not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I know, sunshine.” He chuckles softly.

“Um, I wanna start by saying I value how close we are which is why I need to make this known..”

Oh my god, is he…

“I’ve been deciding on wether or not I want to pursue this and I don’t think the answer could’ve been clearer, its been in front of me this whole time for fucks sake” he gives a breathy laugh as he scoots closer, eyes boring into your own. His eyebrows furrow for a moment like he’s unsure if he should continue but it's quickly replaced by a smile.

This is it.. is this his way of telling you he feels it too?

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it..”

Please say what I think you're gonna say..

“Yeah?” You prod, the hope in your tone making you internally cringe.

“..I started seeing someone from our crew…i really like her y/n” he smiled looking at his shoes.

Oh.

The minute those words left his mouth your world seemingly went mute. Your ears rung like you had just been dunked under water. Your smile faded as your face became agonizingly hot and your throat tightened. How could you be so foolish? You should’ve known better. Of course he wasn’t about to confess his undying love for you as you would to him, you let your hopeless romanticism take over and now you’ve hurt your own feelings. Your dress suddenly feeling too tight on your body. You hair was touching all the wrong places. There probably was no need for the internalized dramatics but you wanted to crawl out of your own skin right now.

“Earth to y/n? Aren’t you gonna say anything” he laughs, scanning your face for any sort of emotion. You’d learned how to keep a good poker face dealing with his plethora of girlfriends. You faked a bright smile as tears threatened to spill over.

“Y-yeah!” You clear your throat realizing your voice has broken.

“Is everything okay?” He asks cutting you off before you could continue on. You still kept the insufferably wide fake smile on your face.

“Everything’s great! I'm just so happy for you Jakey, she must be a very special girl and I'm glad you’ve found someone who can put a smile like that on your face” you said, taking your hands from his grasp and rubbing his arm. You made sure to bring out your old nickname for him to convince him you were being sincere.

Jake was listening intently but knew you were lying. He’s known you for years, if he had know any better he’d say you looked heartbroken but decided not to press on it.

‘There’s no way she’s upset, she sees me as just a friend.’ Jake thinks to himself.

“Y-yea i just wanted to tell you today ‘cause she’ll be here any minute now and i’d love for you and Ronnie to finally meet her” he says, now seemingly unsure of himself.

“Wow! Y-yeah.. I mean I’d love to!” You say nervously running your fingers through your hair. God, how were you gonna get through meeting her so soon after the love of your life, who didn’t know he was the love of your life, had just single-handedly shattered your heart.

“Great, i'm so happy you’re my best friend sunshine” he says standing up opening his arms signaling he wants a hug. You rise and give him a quick embrace.

“Yea… me too.” You say as you try and fight off the tears once his arms wrap around you.

You excuse yourself to grab another drink. You rush inside but of course you just had run into Josh on your way to find the strongest bottle of alcohol this house could provide.

“Woah slow down little lady— hey… you okay?” he says, noticing your glossy eyes.

“Peachy. Now, if you’ll excuse me for just one second” you say trying to squeeze past.

“Ah-ah-ah, not until you tell me what’s got you in such a hurry.” He says grabbing your wrist.

“I just need a second alone, please josh..” your voice trails off into whisper, you were trying your best to stay composed but the more he kept poking and prodding at this fresh wound the more afraid you were of completely imploding.

“Oh, okay..” he complies, releasing his grip as he watches you snatch the entire bottle of wine and make your way to the guest bathroom. You were gonna need some liquid courage to withstand meeting whoever this chick is. You didn’t mean to be so sour but you felt foolish.

————————————————————————————

You sat down on the closed toilet seat after locking the bathroom door and thanked whomever that this wine bottle was a twist cap. You took a few sips before processing everything.

10 years.

10 years of convincing yourself that this would go away, but it somehow only grew stronger.

10 years of being irrevocably in love with one of your closest friends.

You were stupid enough to think he would feel the same way when he’s legitimately touring the world and has any girl he chooses at his feet.

Why couldn’t it be me?

I should’ve spoken up sooner. It’s all too late. Would he have even liked me back?

You let your head drop as tears clouded your vision, you succumbed to just letting them fall freely now that you were in private.

You wept for your inner teenage self knowing all she wanted got squashed right before your eye. Life can turn on a dime, you shouldn’t have wasted so much time hoping one day he just might make a move. I mean josh was right, you pathetically remained single because you only had eyes for his brother… for the most part. You’ve mingled but none of them could ever truly get your mind off of him. And for what? He’s just a guy. Albeit, a guy who is incredibly kind to you, knows all your in’s and out’s. How you like your coffee, all your favorite songs. He knew that you had to sleep with one extra blanket in bed because the only way you can fall asleep is if you're wrapped up in it. He knew that you would only ever accept flowers if at least one of the petals has wilted because lest we forget, we too are all but a little damaged. He’d grown to know all your weird habits as if it was second nature to him. He was what every girl desired.

You'd devoted yourself to him, built your life around him almost. Your earliest memories are plagued with him and his family and now everything has come crashing down faster than you can handle. You had a feeling deep down that you needed to get over him years ago so who are you to sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You knew better than to think he could ever love you back. You knew blind faith would come back to bite you in the ass.

It was stupid to wait so long with all these bottled up feelings towards him, you feel like you’ve wasted so much of your time helplessly hoping in silence and now who were you meant to seek advice from. You can’t tell your best friend he’s just broken your heart because you’ve been madly in love with him since you were seventeen. You can’t tell Ronnie because, although you’re incredibly grateful for it, she would come to your immediate defense and the last thing you wanted was a big fallout at their welcome home party. You’ve never been in more internal conflict than now.

You allowed yourself to shed a couple more tears before touching up your makeup and chugging down some more of the cheap Riesling. They would come looking for you any second now.

You collected yourself taking one last glance in the mirror before exuding a shaky breath as your hand reached to turn the knob. Stepping outside your met with Josh leaned up against the wall. Was he waiting for you to get out?

“There you are..” he whispered, swiftly grasping your arm and dragging you right back into the bathroom.

“J-josh what the fuck? What are you doi-“ you were cut off by him shushing you and locking the door.

“Listen, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he would actually make it official with her. I thought she was some fling of his. If I had known I would’ve warned you.”

“So you know about our conversation?” You softly ask, trying to tame the lump growing in your throat.

“Yea, she’s here and Jake said you ran off after he told you he wanted to introduce you to her”

“Oh my god, I probably embarrassed myself. I wasn’t thinking Josh, I was just afraid I’d lose it in front of him” You say bringing your hands up to rub your temples. Josh reaches to grab your wrists, holding your arms in front of you.

“Hey, hey.. stop stressing yourself out. Everything happens for a reason, okay? You didn’t embarrass yourself, no one suspects a thing. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, it's pretty big news for you” he says, thumb rubbing gently on your forearms. The waterworks were conjuring up again, a small tear slipped as you met his eyes.

“I waited too long Josh…” you whispered.

“You were right. I shouldn’t have done this to myself. I-I mean, am I crazy for wishing someone could love me the way I love them?” You questioned rhetorically, your teary eyes staring into Josh’s pity-filled ones. You hated how he was staring at you. You didn’t need pity, you knew the mess you got yourself into.

"Not crazy at all, sunshine.” Hearing Jake's nickname for you coming out of Josh’s mouth felt wrong. Especially right now.

“Come on. let's take a deep breath and greet the guest, shall we?” He offers. You inhale a sharp breath before nodding your head in compliance, it was gonna happen one way or another, might as well man up for now and wallow in the privacy of your own home.

————————————————————————————

You both make your way into the living room seeing everyone gathered around the couch. A few people seemed to have gone home, there were a lot less people than when you showed up. Sam, Dan, and Ronnie sat on one couch.

Your eyes peered over to Jake in the kitchen talking to a beautiful blonde. She was wearing black silk blouse and some mom jeans. It was casual but elegant, you envied how effortlessly pretty she was.

“Hey.. stop getting in your head.” Josh whispered in your ear. Claire and Spencer waved for you to come join everyone. You took your seat as Ronnie got up from her spot next to Sam and came over to sit next to you.

“Where were you? You like..disappeared” she giggled. You smiled at her as best you could.

“The wine wasn’t sitting well, I needed a breather” you laugh hoping she believed you.

The only reason you never told any of your friends about your feelings for Jake was because at first you were convinced it would go away, so why embarrass yourself by telling someone something only for it to not be true in a few weeks and potentially jeopardize an entire friendship. Then as the years went on of you gaslighting yourself into thinking it would go away, all of a sudden 10 years had gone by.

“Ugh I feel you, Sam made me the nastiest marg earlier. I thought I was gonna yak” she says clutching her stomach. You laugh along with her, thankful she didn’t pry any further.

You were broken from your conversation as Jake walked in the room, his hand locked in hers as he guided her in.

“Alright everyone, this is Laura. My beautiful girlfriend.” He says leaning in to kiss her cheek. Jake seemed like he’s had one too many, his words slightly slurring but you don’t question any further. She politely smiled and greeted everyone. Jake notices you, his eyes twinkle before shining you a bright smile and gesturing for her to come meet you.

“Y/n, Laura. Laura, y/n.. this lovely lady has been one my best friends since elementary school” he introduces, slurring his words a bit gesturing towards you with an open palm. You smile wide and rise to give her a quick hug, Josh watching you intently. Your hospitality is admirable.

“Oh my gosh! You’re y/n! I've heard so much about you, I love your dress” she compliments.

Fuck. She’s actually really nice, it sounds terrible to say but you were secretly hoping she was bitch so you wouldn’t feel as bad for being so upset. Your moral compass however, refuses to allow you to feel negatively towards anyone undeserving.

“Thank you, you're so kind. It’s a pleasure to meet you” you smile bright as your cheeks flush from the sincerity of the compliment. She excuses herself to the bathroom, as Jake gestures for the two of you to take a seat yet again. The constant sitting and standing was starting to wear you out.

“Soooo what’d you think?” He says

“Short interaction, but she seems like a great girl Jakey. As long as you're happy I’m happy.” You give a tight-lipped smile, toying with a loose string on your dress.

“That’s it? That’s all you're gonna say?” he asks, stumbling over his words. There’s a certain tone he brought on that you didn’t like.

“W-well I don’t know what you want me to say… a-are you drunk right now?” You say, now adopting a confused expression.

“You could at least act a little more enthused for me. I mean do you even care at all? I was excited for the two of you to meet” he says, scooting back in his spot. He seemed offended, where was all this coming from?

“I-I’m sorry? I don’t know why you’re getting so upset with me. What do you want me to do Jake?” You say lowering your tone so the others around you do catch wind of whatever disagreement this seemed to be.

“You know what…just forget it, you could at least act like you care.” He spat, harshly grabbing his drink and abruptly leaving from his spot beside you. You sat there in shock.

What the fuck.

Your face suddenly felt hot, your throat tightened aggressively. You needed to get out of this house. You did care, too much. That’s why you felt your entire body go numb as tears clouded your vision. Why was he being so mean? Today has been the worst day ever. You swiftly get up from the couch and collect your things. You think you’ll make it with a successful Irish goodbye but of course with your luck, Josh catches you just before you slip out the front door.

‘Hey, where are you going” he asks.

“I can’t josh, I need to leave. I’m so sorry I just- I don’t know what came over him or how much he drank in the amount of time between our conversation and now but suddenly I’m the bad guy?? I don’t even know what I did wrong, apparently I don’t care enough? When you and I both know that’s far from the truth. I just wanna go home josh…please. I think I really fucked it this time and I need to process everything a little bit, okay? I really don’t mean to ruin your welcome home party, truly. I’m so glad to see you guys and maybe you and I could grab lunch this weekend to make up for me leaving so soon and bringing this drama.” You ramble, furiously wiping the tears streaming down your face. Josh doesn’t say anything, he just frowns and pulls you into a much needed hug.

“Alright mama, don’t worry about it.. you haven’t ruined anything. He probably had too much to drink. As far as I’m concerned I’m the only one who knows about this little fallout. Text me when you’re home, okay? Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” He questions.

“I’m okay, I was only kinda tipsy and that whole thing really sobered me up.” You let out a pathetic laugh at how humorous this all was. He rubs your arm before allowing you to make your way out.

You felt guilty for leaving so early, you didn’t mean to make it about you and you would’ve stuck it out but given Jake's newfound attitude towards you, you didn’t feel very welcomed anymore. Maybe you could’ve been more enthused but this was also heavy news for you. You start feeling regretful as you realized you had been a bit insensitive. You would have shown more joy for your best friend but how were you meant to give any more than that?? I mean she left for the bathroom in the middle of the greeting for fucks sake.

You sighed feeling at a loss. Granted, your feelings weren’t his responsibility but how exactly was he expecting you to react? You weren’t necessarily jumping with joy at the idea. But then again, he had no idea about your feelings. In his eyes, his best friend wasn’t matching his energy on something he deemed important. You start wracking your brain on everything you could’ve done to avoid this, essentially kicking yourself while your already down.

You make it to your car, hoping to just go home, have a night of reflection in a warm bath. As you sit down your phone vibrates in your hand.

Message from: Sam Wam Bam🕺🏻

-some friend you are..

Sam?? What the fuck? Why is he saying that?

Message from: Jake ❤️

-don’t even bother reaching out anymore.

wow.

He must’ve said something to Sam. Now sam probably thinks you were being a shit friend and ditched him and his brother at their own welcome back party after sharing the news with everyone.

You dropped your head to rest on your steering wheel as you realized you seemed inconsiderate to the people who didn’t know about your repressed feelings for the man. You felt like you ruined everything. You knew better than to get your hopes up, why did you think today would be any different and he would spontaneously have feelings for you? Foolish.

You let out a sob at their messages knowing this whole situation has been misunderstood. Because of it, everything was crumbling down around you.

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So…thoughts? How we feelin’?