#going to try the stripping method my family did LOL

[wildtornado-o]

Helppp the self same battle totally killed everyone

[1kook]

skirt chasers - drabble iii

this a skirt chasers drabble in case u couldn't tell uhhh here’s i and ii lol

summary; “I think the alcohol broke my amygdala. Your epidermis looks pretty today— did you use that toner I told you about?” warnings; alcohol mention, tit sucking, unprotected sex, use of the pull out method, uhh making out??? ratings; mature (18+) misc; educational abolitionist!jungkook, drunk jk, mentions of throwing up lol, jk is an anatomy frEAK, more skirts, more jk has questionable kinks wc; like barely 2k

notes; i wrote this in like 40 mins bc i couldn't stop thinking about STIMBO jk from skirt chasers and how cool he is enjoy xxxx also i barely rmr shit from anatomy bc it was the worst course of my life so pls bear with me

His first mistake is getting drinks with the boys. You like to think you know your boyfriend pretty well, know what he’s good at, where he excels, where he thrives, and well. Drinking doesn’t rank too high on the list.

Jimin calls a little past midnight. “Kook’s on the table,” he slurs into the phone, too loud and too sloppy for a Wednesday night phonecall.

“Ha?” you mumble back, rubbing your eyes until you see stars. The room is dark, practically spinning from how out of it you are. Chaeyoung is dead asleep in her room, so even whispering feels like a crime. “Where are you guys?”

Some bar on the south side of town, that strip where all the newly turned twenty-one year olds go to get wasted. Jungkook’s supposed to be studying for some big exam he has on Friday— at least, that’s what he told you —so it takes a few minutes of convincing on Jimin’s part until you’re shrugging your coat on, blindly navigating through your apartment for your keys and wallet. You briefly consider taking an Uber, but ultimately decide you’d rather get stabbed to death on a public bus so at least your family can sue the city afterwards.

Jungkook is indeed on the table, except the table has long since tipped over. So now he’s just sprawled across some dirty bar floor, puppy-soft head of curls spilling over his forehead. He’s so cute, so adorable. You want to kill him. “Up,” you command, channeling the strength of twelve football players to haul your beefy boyfriend off the ground.

“Baby,” he beams, looking at you but not actually looking at you. “I think the alcohol broke my amygdala. Your epidermis looks pretty today— did you use that toner I told you about?”

You don’t even know what that means, can’t even question him, because then Jin is angrily yelling at you to cover his tab. You pay with a stiff middle finger, flail the three dollars in your wallet at him, before sweeping away your poor damsel in distress. “You’re supposed to be studying,” you huff, can’t even be mad when he stops to throw up in a bush outside the bar. You’re so embarrassed, pretend you don’t know him as you pull up the bus times on your phone.

He’s huffy by the time you get on the bus, sniffling against your neck as he cries about his common hepatic portal vein thing— you don’t fucking know.

Chaeyoung isn’t too impressed with you when you bring him home, dump him on the couch while she steals your AirPods from your room. “Explain yourself,” you demand, and his head rolls back.

“I hate school,” he complains, slaps a hand down against his forehead. You’re certain he’s concussed himself this time. Then he’s bending over, head held between his hands. “Wanna cry.”

You sigh, kneeling in front of him. “You’re almost done,” you comfort him, hand on the back of his head. He’s so sweaty, and smells like all his friends colognes at the same time. “You’re smart, baby, you can do this.”

Your words have the opposite effect, because then he’s rocking forward childishly, nearly rams your skulls together and kills you. He’s reached the point of his insobriety where he’s too sad and huffy to think, sadly leaning against your shoulder as if that’ll somehow solve all his problems. You doubt it will, but there’s really nothing much you can when Jungkook reaches this point, so you settle on softly patting the back of his head until the fool is fucking snoring against you.

Chaeyoung blesses you with her divine retribution the next morning by using up the last of your body wash, and then you’re left to deal with a hungover Jungkook on a Thursday morning. You’re pretty sure he had a class that morning, but he wakes up too late for you to even try to convince him to still go, and then he’s moping on your couch in last night’s clothes. You’re getting ready for your internship, blouse half buttoned, pencil skirt wiggled up to your waist.

“Abolish exams,” he mutters, numbly staring at the ceiling as you wipe his face with a cleansing towelette. He doesn’t seem remotely interested in the shower or the pancakes you made, which lets you know this is a much more serious issue than just a drunken episode. “Aren’t they stupid?” You nod. “Sure, test me on every damn thing we’re learning right now as if science isn’t always changing and I’ll have to keep learning anyway.”

He looks over at you, under-eye bags absolutely horrendous. “Tests are stupid,” you agree, and it seems to be exactly what he wants to hear as he sinks into your arms, face buried in your chest. “Too stupid for smarty-pants Jeon Jungkook.”

Jungkook groans, flops over you on the couch all smelly and gross. “They test you for memorization and not comprehension,” he adds, finally wiggling out of his stinky clothes.

With Jungkook, you can never tell where things are going. One minute he’s cursing the education system and the next he’s kissing along your neck in his rambling fury. “As if I these materials will somehow become nonexistent once I’m working,” he huffs, hands on your thighs. Your breath hitches in your throat, fingers digging into his biceps as he mindlessly kisses down the valley between your breasts. “Shit’s so fucking stupid,” he spits, bunching your skirt around your waist.

“Jeon—“

“I’m just trying to be a fuckin’ pediatrician, for fuck’s sake,” he growls, hastily undoes the front buttons on your blouse. Your black bra comes into view, heart pounding in your chest as Jungkook makes quick work of reaching behind and undoing it, pushing it away, and cupping your breasts in his palms. He guides one of your legs around his waist, tucks it around him as he gets to work raining down kisses on your tits. “So pretty, doll,” he murmurs, pretty pink lips leaving smooches down your chest.

You bite down on your lip, watch through hazy eyes as those big doe eyes flick up at you, tongue swirling around your nipple. “N— Not tired anymore?” you pant, hands in his hair. It’s still dry and knotted from last night’s adventures, but you don’t mind. Not when Jungkook’s hard cock is flush against your thigh.

“Nah,” he confirms, rolling his hips forward against your core. Oh he was horny horny this morning. Or was he angry horny? You don’t care, either way you were winning. “I serenaded you last night, y’know?”

You snort, but it morphs into a whimper when he captures your rock hard nipple between his perfect teeth. “Not a serenade,” you whimper, fingernails running along his scalp, “if I’m not there.”

Jungkook leans back, lets you breathe for a second as he unbuckles the front of his pants, jeans pulled down around his thighs. And of course he’s hard as fuck by now; this was Jeon Jungkook you were dealing with. He could get it up and going in two seconds flat at the mere sight of your collarbones. “You were there,” he insists, capturing your hand in his all romantic like until you’re flustered and shaking him off. He levels you with a cheesy grin, presses your palm against his chest. “Here.”

You gag. “That’s disgusting.”

Jungkook laughs, all squeaky and airy because he’s never given a fuck about looking cool in front of you. His next words only prove your point. “Why? Don’t like being nestled against my left lung and esophagus, all sexy like?”

You roll your eyes, tug your panties aside to give him a full view of what his dorky anatomical talk has done to you. “Dick me down or go away,” you say, pointer finger nudging his chin up when he stares too long

He snaps his teeth at you, almost bites your finger, the fuckin’ weirdo. “Sassy today,” he teases, presses the tip of his cock against you. Both of you groan, watch as he glides himself up and down your folds, angry mushroom head pushing against your clit. “Always so wet for me,” he mumbles shakily, eyes zeroed in on your wet folds and how slick they feel against him. “Didn’t stretch you out again.”

“Yo— You’re mean about that anyway,” you pant, pulling him closer by those firm ass cheeks of his. “I can tell when you’re using me as a reference model.”

Jungkook gasps as if he’s genuinely scandalized by your claim, follows your wordless command and finally lines himself up with your quivering entrance. “I’m a hands-on learner,” he offers, his cheeky smile still on his face until he finally sinks into you and his features twist up all pretty. “Your pussy’s just so pretty, baby,” he grunts, hand on your hip.

Your face feels warm, from the pleasure that rolls over your body and the vulgarity of his words. “Shush now,” you say, try to sound strict and in command, but he’s got his other hand cupping your jaw, looking at you like you’re a goddess and not some dorky college student in their even dorkier internship uniform.

“Temptress,” he mumbles, pushes past your clenching lips until he’s flush against you, your walls spasming around his cock because he just feels so good. “Tried to sneak past me in that tiny skirt.” He draws back, lets his swollen head catch at the entrance before sliding back in, pace slow and sensual, too intimate for some random Thursday morning. “Little doll just needs to be fucked in the morning, doesn’t she?” A pitiful whimper catches in your throat, eyes rolling to the back of your head with every glide of his dick back inside of you.

“N- Not my fault you have naughty eyes,” you whimper, hand coming up to bite at your knuckles as Jungkook continues to fuck you so sweetly. “Fuck.”

Jungkook ducks over you, wavy hair tickling your forehead as his hot breath fans across you. Smells like the mouthwash you made him take and hints of last night’s alcohol. “Can’t help it,” he husks, capturing your lips in his. Sloppy and wet, tongue clashing with yours as he guides you along, hips slowing to rhythmic ruts that have you moaning after each roll.

A few drawn-out thrusts later and you’re coming, body so sensitive this early in the morning, and it certainly doesn’t help that Jungkook looks like that (sweaty and worn, dark eyes watching you writhe beneath him). Surprisingly, it takes him a few more rushed thrusts before he follows, barely managing to pull out in time before his sparkling cum is splattering over your tummy and the skirt bunched around it. “No,” you whine, melting into the couch. “Jeon, this is my only one,” you complain, rubbing a hand over your eyes as if that’ll somehow make your legs work again enough to push him off.

Jungkook says nothing as he tucks himself back into his boxers, chest heaving from exertion as he crashes back onto the couch. “Liar,” he responds after a moment, out of breath and half asleep again. He’s still technically hungover. Hand lazily drawing circles on your knee as you sit up, wiggling your skirt back down. He gives you this indecipherable look. “I hid the other one under your dresser.”

You smack his arm. “Why the hell would you—“

He tackles you back into the couch, presses the stain into your skirt. It must feel gross against his naked tummy, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to care. “Makes me too horny,” he announces, pout pressed against your neck. “I had a teacher fantasy the other day. Did I tell you?” You roll your eyes, resigning yourself to this new life squashed beneath your boyfriend. “You were my high school anatomy teacher and I failed, so you made me stay after school for supplemental lessons—“

“That’s an abuse of power,” you point out, back to carding your hands through his now sweaty and greasy hair. “And you would never fail an anatomy class, that’s literally your comfort area of study.”

“Listen,” he stresses, lifts his head until he’s peering at you with these humongous Bambi eyes. “You spanked me and—“

“Go get my skirt.”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sucker for Pain

Dad!Mob!Tom Holland x Mom!Mob!Reader

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield

Warnings: Guns (its in the title lol), grief, a minor mention of blood, fighting, always angst (what I consider angst)

Words: 4.1K

Author note: Totally cried while writing this. Feel free to leave comments or message me directly your feelings while reading the chapter. Always love hearing from you guys.

Chapter 5: Sucker for Pain

Words: 4.1K

Word of Charlotte’s death had spread like wildfire, especially at school. Only Rosie was attending the past fews days. Parker set to join her in two days time, after the funeral, he was scared of what lied ahead. Parker was discharged from the hospital a few days ago, under strict instructions to rest. He started to go a little stir crazy, watching the days pass.

Most of the student’s attended the funeral. Charlotte’s demise was widely publicized which made Parker’s blood boil. No one knew her like Parker did. Who Charlotte actually was the complete opposite of the persona she put on in public and at school. Charlotte was secretly funny and enjoyed really cheesy corny jokes. Her sense of humor was one of things that made Parker fall in love with her.

All the Hollands attended. You, Tom, Rosie, and Parker, and hoped to pay your respects. Parker was exhausted, he had been going through the stages of grief. How could his life get so screwed in a matter of a few weeks. A couple weeks ago, he was a kid planning his promposal for his girlfriend and now he is a protégé of the biggest mob in London who was about to bury his girlfriend.

This was the final stage, the one he was dreading the most, acceptance. He didn’t want to let her go. Charlotte changed his world for the better. She was the first person he ever loved and loved him in return.

The denial didn’t last long. It was unfathomable how she no longer existed. How the world wouldn’t be blessed with her beautiful smile anymore. Or her corny sense of humor and gracious presence. How could someone so perfect just leave the world so suddenly.

Bargaining followed next, coupled with anger. Parker was angry at the world, God, himself, and the bastards that killed her. If they had only driven home when he wanted to, she would still be here. If he hadn’t gotten grounded and not overslept and cleaned up quick enough. If he hadn’t thrown that stupid party. If his dad never gave him an ultimatum. If he never turned 16. Even if he never existed in the first place, Charlotte would still be alive.

There are 5 stages of grief as if you move on from one to the next but no, they stick with people. Especially, depression and anger. How does anyone ever really get over death. Losing someone you love is greatest pain ever felt. Someone you held and protected. Losing Charlotte, in that moment Parker wasn’t good enough. Not enough to protect her or love her.

Bringing us up to date, acceptance. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye but since when did he start getting what he wanted. Parker stood like a statue as he watched Charlotte’s casket lower in to the ground. He knew he had to be strong not just for himself, but for everyone else, especially Charlotte’s parents. At the reception, Parker tried to speak to them but, he didn’t know what to say. How could he lie to them saying it was an accident when in reality he was the reason.

“You have some real nerve showing up here,” Mr. Owens said as Tom walked up to the grieving parents. “I was so sorry to hear about Charlotte, Mrs. Owens,” Tom explained. “You daft prick, you were there. You could’ve protected her,” screamed Mrs. Owens to Parker.

“Mrs. Owens, I just came to offer my condol—“ Parker tried to say.

“Fuck your condolences!” She yelled, throwing her daiquiri straight on Parker. Coating him, from head to toe, in a very potent alcoholic drink.

“I think what my son is trying to explain is that if you need anything, money or a favor, it would be our pleasure. Our family business has some important ties.” Tom exclaimed, hoping to bring them some peace. “You and your son end lives. That’s your family business. I want no part of it. Now if you don’t mind, please get out of my fucking way.” Mrs. Owens said, pushing her way past Tom.

“You people have too many strings. I just want my baby girl back, and you can’t do that,” screamed Mrs. Owens as she left the premises.

“Sir, you want me to take care of her?” asked William, Tom’s capo. “Leave her alone, she’s grieving. Parker come on, let’s go home and get you cleaned up,” Tom explained.

“She’s right. If it weren’t for me Charlotte would still be alive.” Parker said solemnly. Tom hated seeing his son like this, it was eating him up inside. Tom couldn’t do anything to stop it, it was up to Parker to face his inner demons.

The Holland household was starting to return to normalcy, at least what they called normalcy. Parker refused to leave his room for awhile. Staff and you would bring food up to his room each meal and take the untouched one from before. He was a shell of a person after the night. All the while Parker was getting over Charlotte, Rosie was getting under someone new.

Henry had been coming over frequently for two reasons. To comfort Parker in his time of need and to be with Rosie. Their love for each other blossomed rather quickly. Rosie was not one for big romantic gestures, but made an exception from Henry.

The day had come where Parker was to return to school. How could face all of them with the judgements and accusations. Charlotte’s death shook everyone to their very core, everyone was taking the news differently. It wasn’t common for the school community to lose on of their own. Maybe a teacher but never a student.

There were a multitude of mourners that ranged from the fake asses who say they knew her but didn’t, her former conquests who only saw her as a good fuck and her actual friends who were devastated. Posters were hung up and there were candles, teddy bears and “We miss you cards,” displayed all over her locker.

You drove them to school that morning, since Parker was still grounded. Arriving at school, all voices ceased to exist as the black Rolls Royce pulled up. Out jumped Parker and Rosie and all eyes shifted to them as they walked through the halls.

“Glad to see you are back Mr. Holland. You missed a few projects, you can make them up at a later time,” Ms. Erikson, Parker’s chemistry teacher, said. Parker just nodded in response.

Walking to his seat, he perfectly heard all the rumors being spread or was he supposed to. “I heard he was the one who killed her.” “I heard they were both at a gang bang” “I heard she died in his arms”. How could people be so insensitive to make snap judgements like that.

Charlotte’s parents’ opted for the cause of her death to remain hidden. But they were teenagers, they couldn’t help but, gossip. Rumors are just rumors, Parker would tell himself. They weren’t entirely wrong. He was the reason, he was there when it happened, and he held her as she died. Being in those hollowed halls was brutal. Parker was basically the new social pariah.

The student’s weren’t oblivious to the Holland family. They knew what most people knew. That Tom Holland owned one of the largest exporting companies in Europe, Holland Exportation and Luxuries. And they knew not to mess with the Hollands.

Once class was over, now came the hard work. Tom called it “Mobster Bootcamp,” Parker was currently taking lessons with his dad to carry on the legacy. Tom had a few tricks of the trade up his sleeve desperately wanting to pass on to his son. They had met in the Tom’s office to begin.

“Lesson 1: Always wear black or white.” Tom started with as Parker took notes, like the perfect student he is.

With one, blood will alter it completely and the other remains unchanged. It was a common theme, with the Holland legacy, wearing black or white. It was sleek, dangerous and classy all at the same time.

“The one big perk is that blood doesn’t show up on black fabric.”

“Lesson 2: Wives must be treated with respect, girlfriends are fair game."

“If you’re a good man, the only describable difference between a wife and girlfriend is that one has an unnecessary symbol on her ring finger. They both mean the same and don’t you forget it,” Tom concluded.

And Tom was a good man. Never has Tom even thought about cheating on you. Porn was pointless and strip clubs bored him. Why throw away the best thing that ever happened to him, you.

“Lesson 3: Someone brings a knife, you bring a gun” “Never be without a weapon. Anything can become a weapon with the right skill set, but always be prepared.”

Tom was a big fan of improvisation. Sometimes using what he had on hand, like his tie. Strangling wasn’t his most favorite method of killing but he liked to mix it up.

“Also find finesse in your kills. Your mother is a big believer in gun to the head, execution style. Me on the other hand, I prefer to roughen up a guy a bit, but you will eventually develop an M.O. (modus operandi). Another lesson, make sure you don’t always use the same M.O. mix it up a bit, otherwise they could trace it back to you,” Tom elaborated.

“That bring me to my next lesson.”

“Lesson 4: Blackmail is your best friend.”

Tom has had a few close calls in his day. Everything about running a mob had to be sneaky. Bodies couldn’t be found by any random person, they needed to be cleaned up and dealt with. The witness’s in a meeting were sworn into secrecy, he had enough dirt on them that he could get someone to fake their death if need be. Cops were never a problem with the Hollands. They were his puppets and he was the puppet master.

“Killing someone in a public place you risk being caught by an innocent bystander. Then one things leads to another and you are cleaning up two bodies instead of one.That’s why I have the warehouse and the police Captain in my pocket. Just remember everyone’s got a price,” Tom explained.

“Lesson 5: Have as little weaknesses as possible.”

Tom hated referring to the one’s he loved as weakness but it was the truth. He couldn’t be weak if he desired to be top dog. The moment you and Tom started a family, his liabilities increased. From that day, his only goal was to protect you and the twins.

“I would never call your mother a weakness, but I would die for her. Also for you and your sister. This makes me vulnerable. In the past, people have put her in danger situations for leverage against me.” Tom said, rubbing his temples. Parker just nodded in return. A long silence ensued.

“Dad, are you okay?” Parker questioned.

“Yeah. I’m sorry son, I have more for you but, just have a lot on my mind,” Tom apologized. “It’s alright. Any luck with finding Charlotte’s killer?” Parker asked, his voice tainted with hope.

“No, but I do have a meeting at the warehouse with a contact would you like to tag along?”

“How could I say no,” Parker said, kind of excitedly. They made their way out of the mansion and drove to the warehouse. Parker had never been here before. It was dark and cold looking. The walls were pure metal sheets and the floor had stains of blood scattered everywhere. “Good to see you, Jazz,” Tom said walking up to the mysterious woman tied to a chair. Jasmine Ramsey, a contract killer Tom was friends with. A little more than friends at one time, predating you.

“Fuck you, Tom. What’d I do to be graced with your presence,” questioned Jazz. “Nothing to piss me off, yet,” Tom chuckled. “Then why the fuck am I here,” she said a little peeved.

“My son, here, needs to ask you a few questions,” Tom said, pointing towards Parker who stood in the corner. “Aww a baby Holland. Following in your daddy’s footsteps, huh?” “Shut it, slag,” Parker yelled as he melded his fist with her jaw.

“Jesus. What the fuck was that for?” Jazz screeched. “Woah. Sorry Jazz, should’ve told him you were an old friend,” Tom says, holding his hands up in defense. “Oh, I’m so sorry miss. Could I get you some ice or something?” Parker exclaimed, surprised that he just punched an assassin.

“Its fine didn’t hurt that bad. Gotta work on your punch,” she said adjusting her jaw. “Really. Hurt like a bitch to me” Parker whispered, holding his aching hand. Blood began to seep out of the broken skin, staining his knuckles red. “Tommy you gotta tell your son to grow tougher skin” Jazz exclaimed. “What the fuck were you thinking Parker?” Tom said, grabbing Parker by the collar of his polo. “Sorry I just assumed with her being tied up and all” Parker exclaimed. “That’s how we do business boy. You’ll soon learn”Jazz explained with a shit-eating grin across her face.

“Anyway, I need info on a murder at The Luxe on the 11th. A young girl was involved.” Tom turned to Jazz.

“Oh I heard about that, poor girl, she was pretty too. What’s it to you, Holland?”

“That’s not important,” Tom hissed. “She was my girlfriend,” Parker interrupted.

“Sorry lover boy my hands are tied, literally,” Jazz said, rolling her eyes. “If I untie you will you talk?” Tom replied.

“Yes, you know me. I don’t appreciate being threatened.” “Alright Jazz, just spit it out.” Tom said as Parker untied her restraints. “I was downtown at pub, called Harmon’s. Heard of it?” Jazz expressed. “Yeah, a big hotspot for Shaw’s men,” Tom said, nodding his head as he followed along. “Well, I was searching for my target and overheard some men saying “It’s going down tonight, word from the Merchant is that he should be there, with his little whore.”” “Fuck. The Merchant. Where have I heard that?” Tom said, puzzled. “Short for Merchant of Death. Surely, you’ve heard the old mob tales.” Jazz elaborated.

“Of course.”

“Well if it is him, I’d stop looking you don’t want to find him,” she warned. “Please, everyone knows I’m fucking top dog,” Tom asserted. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Tommy. You are now, but he used to be and if he is returning, watch your back. All he craves is power. If that’s it I’ll be on my way.” Jazz explained, asking for permission to leave. “Yes of course, Jazz. Thanks.” Tom muttered. “Give my love to your wife,” she said, pressing a cheek to his kiss as she strutted out. “Seriously dad?” Parker asked with a side glare. “Parker stop it. I love your mother and I would never cheat on her. Jazz and I are just friends.” Tom explained creating a “I’m watching you” look on Parker’s face.

“Jesus, one punch ripped open your knuckles. You're the one telling mom. Now come on or we’ll be late for dinner,” Tom said, inspecting Parker’s hand. Being the new mob boss was in Parker’s blood, but you were always against it. You loved the mob and being part of it but you wanted your kids to have a choice, unlike you and Tom.

Meanwhile at the manor, you and Rosie were making dinner. You appreciated all the staff to clean and cook but, enjoyed the satisfaction when doing it yourself. Secretly loving your independence. While you were dating Tom, you would try to ditch your security much to Tom’s dismay. You were a junkie for thrills.

Rosie and your relationship is what ever mother desired. You treated Rosie like a daughter first and a best friend second. As long as Rosie’s life was never put in danger you would keep her secrets. The major one being Henry.

“Hey honey. Since it’s just us here, how are things going with Henry?” You asked curiously. “Wait, where’s dad and Parker?” Rosie questioned cause nobody else knew. “Taking care of some business. Now spill, I want all the details.” “Well things are going really great. We kissed.” “Really? When? Where?” You have always wanted to have this conversation with her daughter. “At the hospital when Parker was hurt. I had a panic attack and Henry comforted me. He is really great, mom. I don’t know I’ve just never felt this way before,” she explained. Rosie had boyfriends in the past, never long enough for anything serious to perspire.

“Roo if you’re ready to take that step, I’m here for you. You can tell me anything.”

“I’m okay, right now, considering”

“Considering what? Did something happen? Has Henry been pressuring you?” You grew concerned of your daughter. “No. God no, nothing like that. On the night of the party, I got drunk and remember that boy Connor?”

“Yes, go on.” “Well he… he tried to rape me.” Rosie murmured, trying not to cry. “What? Roo why didn’t you tell me,” you whispered, your heart breaking on behalf of Rosie. “Henry was there to stop it and I just want to forget about.” “Roo, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I’m always here for you ok? I love you so much baby.” “Love you too, mom” Rosie replied. Their conversation soon quickly ended as Tom and Parker came barging through the front door and Rosie excused her self to the restroom.

“Ooo, something smells good. What is my beautiful wife cooking?” Tom asked, coming up behind you and kissing your neck.

“The only thing she knows how to cook, spaghetti and meatballs,” you replied, jokingly.

“How was your guy’s day?” You asked. “Great, Parker really showed them,” Tom said, kissing your forehead and pulling you into a warm embrace.

“Jesus Parker, does it hurt?” you questioned as he showed her his battle scars.

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” Rosie said, walking back into the kitchen. “Oh nothing,” Parker said, trying to change the subject. Rosie just gave him a puzzling glare as she dropped the subject.

“Dinner’s ready,” you announced as they all made their way to the dining room. There they sat at the long table, Tom at the head of course and you to the right of him. You all talked about your day, of course, avoiding any mob talk.

“So what really happened to your hand” Rosie asserted breaking the silence. “Drop it. Will you?” Parker barked annoyed at her persistence. “Fine,” she said staring at her plate until her phone buzzed. That noise put a smile across her face because it was always the same person, Henry. “Roo, you know the rules. No phones at dinner,” you remarked. “I know mom, just give me one second,” replied Rosie, holding up a finger. “Rosie, your mother asked you to put it down. Who’s got you so giddy anyway.” Tom said, defending you.

“Oh nothing” Rosie muttered, putting her phone down. “Ten bucks it’s a boy” Tom said directed towards you. “Deal” you responded, shaking his hand. He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss, theirs loving way of shaking hands.

“I’m done. Dinner was great, thanks mom. May I be excused?” Parker asked and Tom nodded in response. Rosie cornered him on his way upstairs. It had been a while since they had talked. Sibling to sibling. Twin to twin. They tried not to keep secrets from each other. He hadn’t of told her about the mob and she hadn’t told him of her and Henry.

“Now tell me what the fuck you did to your hand,” Rosie barked, cornering him.

“Why the fuck do you want to know so bad?” Parker responded. “Umm, I’m your sister.”

“Rosie I don’t have time for your bullshit,” Parker yelled. “What the fuck happened? There’s something you aren’t telling me,” Rosie accused.

“Dad wants me to be the next him.” Parker explained. “I’m not following. What like run the company?” Rosie asked, confused by his statement.

“No. Dad is a mobster. He runs a mob and he wants me to succeed him.” “What the fuck? When did this happen? Why the fuck haven’t you told me?” Rosie exclaimed.

“Our birthday. This is what I was trying to tell you at the party!” Parker yelling causing Rosie to yell back. “Sorry, I was a little preoccupied and so were you!” Rosie hinting at Charlotte. “Don’t turn this on me. What the fuck are you doing with Henry, by the way? You think I don’t see the two of you sneaking around.” Parker quipped, in reality he had never seen their antics. “Nothing, it’s none of your business,” Rosie said, shying away from him. “Of course, it’s my business he’s my best friend.” “Well he is mine too and the world doesn’t revolve around you. If you weren’t so busy breaking curfew and sneaking out, you would see that Henry is really good to me, ever since that night.” Rosie explained stopping herself before she said something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge herself.

“Rosie, what happened?” Parker asked noticing her quick change in demeanor.

“You won’t care,” Rosie quipped.

“Try me,” Parker said softly.

“That night… someone slipped something in my drink and tried to take advantage of me, but Henry stopped it.” Rosie explained, trying to avoid the brute of Parker’s rage.

“Who? Tell me who right fucking now!”

“Connor.”

“I’m gonna kill him” “No, Henry already took care of it. You already have enough blood on your hands,” Rosie chuckled, surprised Parker cared that much. “Thanks,” he said with sarcasm.

“Roo, I’m so sorry. I should’ve known.” “It’s ok. I’m just trying to put it behind me”

“So what you are a mobster now?” “One in training. I need you to know I’m doing this for one reason only, to avenge Charlotte, okay. Not looking to kill for sport like mom and dad.”

Rosie’s suspicions grew over the years that her parents did enjoy living above the law. It didn’t bother her, she actually hoped the mantle would be passed on to her. She had a more fiery spirit than Parker, he was just a big softie on the inside much like his father. Appearances can be deceiving.

Tom was currently in his office, finishing up work for the night. Buzz, buzz, buzz. The last person he thought would call him, his dad.

“So are you going to say thanks?” asked Dom.

“For what? I don’t time for your antics, dad. A hit was hired on Parker and I have to figure out who did it.” Tom sighed. He was frustrated he was getting no where, who was the Merchant of Death. “Umm, hello. Like I said you’re welcome,” Dom quipped.

“You fucking mean that was you.”

“Duh, told you he needed a push in the right direction. I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger but I knew where he was.” “I have a crushed kid over here wanting revenge on the bastards who killed his girlfriend.” “Problem solved, glad he is joining the family business.” Dom said and hung up. How the fuck was Tom going to explain to Parker that his grandpa arranged the hit?

“FUCK!!” Tom screamed smashing everything in sight.

Meanwhile, Parker made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water when he saw you sitting on the couch, consumed in your book.

“Hey mom?” Parker asked, needing to get something off his chest. “Yeah, honey,” you responded, drawing your eyes away from your book. “I need to tell you something.”

“I’m listening… wait what the fuck was that. Hold that thought.” You hesitated when you heard a large crash come from Tom’s office.

“Let me go check on your father,” you said, getting up from the couch. Parker couldn’t help but be curious. He followed her before she closed the door and listened in, pressing his ear against the door.

“Tommy, what happened?” You queried. “It was him,” Tom spoke with an unchanging expression. “Who, Carson?” “No, Dom. He arranged the hit,” Tom said.

Parker’s heart sunk to his stomach. His girlfriend was dead because of his family. He really did kill her.

Maybe he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger but she was seen with him. As far as he is concerned it painted a huge red target on her back. What kind of life was he born into? He never wanted any of this and now all he is, is this.

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort

[dafukdidiwatch]

I’m actually pissed that this is a decent movie.

<A lot of spoilers>

Overview: Arctic Researchers/Scientists stumble on Nazis who live in the center of the earth who have survived by replacing their dying tissue for living ones in a bid for immortality.

And in order for me to talk about this film, I have to talk about this:

Fucking Sky Sharks.

I hate that movie.

I hate it So Much.

I bought it from a Walmart for $10 so what a waste of movie.

The first like, 10 minutes was the movie dragging on showing everyone in the plane in the worst way possible. An old swedish man watching shitty CGI sci-fi porn. A weird gang turn priest man which I for sure might have been the main character but had the weirdest backstory that goes no where and does nothing. Some drunk guy wanting to flirt with a stewardess and the joke is that she wasn’t a super model 20 something. So after going On and ON THEN the sharks come in to show how epic they are.

And they also suck ass. I couldn’t give a shit about the CGI this is a movie about nazi sky sharks I walked in not expecting quality.

Oh yeah, Nazi’s. Forgot to mention the Nazis. Because, you know, they made the sharks. And are also zombies who rose again to take over the world. And our first look is a female blond haired officer killing people in the longest and dullest way possible. Like, there is only so many ways you can decapicate a bunch of people with wires.

After that, move into the “plot” with random ass girl #1 and random ass girl #2 where girl #1 is also in the Antarctic (shocker) and finds a boat, goes in by herself without help/backup, finds out the zombies are not only in there, but also shark tanks because this is where they were raising the sharks.

So to recap: In the COLD NEGATIVE FROSTBITING SNOW COVERED DREADNAUGHT the nazis are not only alive and NOT freezing, but the great white sharks are also alive and NOT freezing. You can say bs science, I say bs movie.

Oh and you know what the sharks feed on?

Misogyny.

God this movie hates women so much. First, multiple porn shots/sexual harassment jokes on just the plane alone (again, first 10 minutes). Then the “sexy” female zombie commander because that’s what was in the Nazi Military: Women. Not saying shit about history or anything, just saying that I know a fetish when I see one. And the Random Ass Girl #1? The reason why she was at the boat in the first place is because she was on a solo rescue mission to help some researchers who found the boat. A Guy and A Girl. The Guy was like, killed normally or shot or something I couldn’t give a shit about. The Girl was stripped naked, hung upside-down by her foot, bare naked ass shown to us, as she is fed to the shark tank.

Yeah, real women friendly.

It also doesn’t help that when Random Ass Girl #1 gets stabbed with, I guess zombie venom for ReAsOnS, she has a shower scene where it shows her being affected and poisoned under her skin....but also how Hot she is by having it shot on her boobs, check, body stretching and curling to show ALL of her body. While under a show that’s in the middle of the fucking room like it’s Hannibal Lector’s bathroom.

And you that that would be the reason I hate this movie but it isn’t dammit. The movie was dull as hell. I’m only talking about the Misogyny for so long because it was the only thing that was actually worth mentioning. I didn’t give a shit about anything else!

The acting is bad and just monotone across the board. Apparently RAG#1 and #2 are like, rich spies from a super rich family corporation which took me a full as 20 minutes to realize. And they have no idea how the fuck to plot a movie! Finding out the sky sharks were because of Dear Old Granddad, results in THREE! SEPERATE! FLASHBACKS! EACH MORE BORING THAN THE LAST!!! I have no idea how you made working with NAZIS dull as shit but this movie found a way. Instead of having the history set in the beginning of nazis doing shit as a teaser to explain later, he just tells his fucking life story of how making Sky Sharks would save the Third Reich. And I Couldn’t Give A Shit.

It got so dull and bored that I literally fast forward through the entire movie to find interesting parts. Spoiler: there was none. Not even with more sharks like eating the world could it entertain me. I just fast forwarded to the very end, and only watched 30 minutes of a 90 minute movie. God I hate Sky Sharks.

So WHY am I bringing it up? Well, it really did set expectations and a bar for Nazis at the Center of the Earth. They both have rediculous titles that you can’t take seriously or expect “great things” from. They both deal with nazis, zombie-ish nazis, genetic research, scientists in the Arctic, and Nazi’s hiding in the Arctic. That is a lot, and I just watched Sky Sharks like 2 weeks before so this was very recent and absolutely in my head.

Which is WHY this movie was a very pleasant surprise.

We start with seeing Nazis doing action pact Nazi shit escaping for science! It even has that Wilhelm scream, but the movie has plot and vision. It didn’t make the nazis seem any more than being just army soldierd and has decent action and sets expectation for the rest of the movie.

And that’s like the big difference between this and Sky Sharks: The Treatment of the Nazis. The nazis here were treated, in my view, as powerful and dangerous. They are meticulous, uncaring, cold and distant. The head Nazi is actually Dr. Mengele, he is in this movie, and he is just so apathetic to everyone.

All the Nazi’s faces were covered in mask so you couldn’t see their faces, making them inhuman. And the first Nazi face we do see is Dr. Mengele as he just, slowly cuts the face off of a person. Methodically. Meticulously. He doesn’t even talk, doesn’t react as the person begs. Just does it. And was going to do it to the girl as well but because she kept talking science, he allowed her to live.

But it was close.

In the beginning it feels like two different movies because it cuts from two researchers who got kidnapped by Nazis surviving their own horror movie trying to escape, and the rest of the researchers being in a Survival Rescue Movie trying to find them. I honestly wanted to see more of the Nazi part because that was the more engaging section. It was filmed, framed, shot as a tense horror movie, where you don’t know if she will live or die.

I also want to approve of the lack of misogyny. Like, first, the Nazis are equal treatment terrible to everyone. They shot one of the researchers who wandered in because he was Jewish. (”I’m non-practicing” lol love that line). Second, the scenes that they did were filmed in a way to highlight the horror but not the sexiness of it. The guy and girl strapped to the table, they are both naked. We don’t see the whole naked body, just enough to establish it while censoring the rest. You see Dr. Mengele looking over them, but there isn’t sign of lust. He is viewing them both as just experiments (which also adds to the horror aspect but I digress). One of the girls ends up being thrown to the Nazi Officers to be raped and killed, but we don’t see that. She doesn’t have a shirt, but it isn’t films as a “sexy” moment, the camera doesn’t move or linger on her body. It is just a straight shot, where she tries to cover herself up. When they close in on her, crawling towards her, the camera focuses more on their approach than on her while at a distance. This is scary, but it isn’t sexualized. Which I approve and is a WAY PLUS from Sky Sharks.

This movie has an odd budget too. There is a lot of CGI. And it isn’t good. Not at all. It works to show things happening like CGI tanks...CGI snow/ice. CGI Robots and lasers. They don’t hide it at all. But then, they also have amazing makeup budget because the “ripping face scene” was amazing physical effects it looked so real. The Nazis are obviously frankenstein stitched up monsters, but they are well done in makeup and design. Like all the close up shit is amazing to look at.

Overall: It was an Alright Movie. Yes, there is plot. There is tension. There is fear trying to survive with the nazi. Bad CGI, and a bit campy at the end, but nothing to detract from the actual movie. It was a fun movie.

[burgeonmeraki]

My Current Skincare Routine

I believe in investing in your skin because it's going to represent you for a very long time. As much as I love wearing makeup, I’d still wanna look natural on the outside. But I also want to go out in public and not wear that much makeup. That’s why I'm a big believer that if you focus on your skincare, you really won't need a lot of makeup. Skincare is self-care.

Just a background story of my skin lol.

This is me back in High School.

Back when I was in high school (the puberty period), I literally have no problem with my skin. I never had any kind of breakout the whole high school life, and for that, I considered myself lucky. I don’t know if it’s in our genes or what, but I think my irregular period explained why I don't break out? I'm not sure hehe.

But when I stepped into college, that’s when I started having cystic acne, just once every month. I noticed my skin reacts in a different environment than I’m used to. Like when I was in college, I was studying in Manila. Manila is known for its air pollution because of traffic congestion. I have also found out that the water in Manila has chlorine, and I feel like my skin gets irritated, and that causes acne or breakout.

My brother who lives in South Korea sent a lot of skin care products. ca. 2017

I started using skincare products when I was in college, but mostly it's just facial wash, toner, and moisturizer. Then 3 years ago, I started putting serum on my face, a sheet mask or clay mask, and my skin feels so good after. My face feels so hydrated and the product that I used which is Innisfree works for me.

April 2018

RECENT BREAKOUT STORY (2020)

Ever since this pandemic and lockdown happened, I started breaking out. My skin became super oily, I thought maybe it was just the heat because it was summer then. I update my skincare, and nothing seems to work on me. And then I thought, maybe it was a hormonal imbalance, so I started taking pills for two months, still not working. The worst part of it, my pimples are cystic. Before, whenever I get a pimple it was just once every month. But now, when one pimple heals, there's another one comes, and they're mostly on my T-zones, which is the oiliest part of my face. I was so stressed about it, so I decided to see a Dermatologist at Cutis Essentials. Take note: this is my first time seeing and consulting a Dermatologist.

In order for the Doctor to treat me, she asked me a bunch of questions like, what kind of product do I use, she asked about my skin history and family history, and if I am taking some medicines or vitamins, and so on. And from that, I have learned that too much Vitamin E, B6, and B12 can cause acne. I have never taken any kind of vitamins in my whole adult life because I hate drinking medicines, but since there's a virus spreading all over the world, killing millions of people, I started taking it to boost my immune system. She gave me an oral medicine called Doxycycline and Epiduo Gel that dries up my acne. I stopped taking my pills and multivitamins and just stick to Vitamin C. I also stopped using this cleanser St. Ives Apricot Scrub and switch to a more mild facial cleanser. And hurrah, I finally see a good result. My face started clearing up little by little, and the oiliness lessens a bit. All I need to do is to get rid of my dark spots, which takes time.

The thing with doing your skincare routine, you have to stick with it consistently. And I gotta admit, there are days that I'm so lazy to do it and just skip some steps. Like sometimes I just removed my makeup, washed it, then put some toner to clean the excess dirt, then I'm done. That's my slacky routine. Don't do it hehe.

I did a one week sheet mask challenge and my skin feels so good after. I definitely recommend this product that I got from BeautyMnl. It’s called Superfood Coconut Salad Mask Package from the brand Farm Skin.  Last pic on the lower right, that’s The Ordinary AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution. 

A video of my skincare routine. Sorry if it’s a bit confusing LOL. I’ll make a better video next time hehe. 

MY CURRENT SKINCARE ROUTINE & HOW TO LAYER PRODUCTS:

I want to be clear, I am not a dermatologist or esthetician, but this method has worked for me. If your skin is irritated, I recommend hitting the reset button and start from scratch. Try introducing new products one at a time and use it consistently for a few days to see if it's working for you. Also, try to learn more about what your skin needs. Like if you have dry skin, moisturizer and hydrate i every day. If you have an oily skin like me, try to lessen the products that’s very greasy, and don’t use it during the day. Just stick with light moisturizer. It is a little bit of a process and takes time, but once you have it figured out, your skincare routine will be on autopilot, and your skin will look better and better.

Here are the products that I am currently using:

FACIAL CLEANSER

Brand: COSRX

AC Collection Foaming Cleanser

Cosrx is a Korean product. This gentle foam cleanser fights acne. It manages excess oil, without stripping skin of essential moisture. With BHA to exfoliate, lauric acid to provide antibacterial support, and centella ingredients to soothe, this creamy cleanser clears skin while keeping irritation at bay. | I have been using this for 3 months now and the brand works on me. My skin feels so soft after using this.

TONER

Brand: COSRX

AHA/BHA Clarifying Treatment Toner

Formulated with AHA, BHA and purifying botanical ingredients, the AHA/BHA Clarifying Treatment Toner works to soothe, refresh and soften the skin. It is effective for hydrating evening skin tone and texture, and it’s a mild exfoliation. | This toner for me is very gentle and it doesn’t sting and harsh like the other toner that I used before.

MOISTURIZER

Brand: COSRX

AC Collection Light Weight Soothing Moisturizer

This cream moisturizer provides light, non-sticky hydration for acne-prone skin. Made with asiatic acid, niacinamide, and zinc salt, it calms and strengthens skin’s moisture barrier while controlling excess oil. | I love this moisturizer! It’s not greasy so it’s okay to use it during the day because it’s fast-absorbing.

SERUM

Brand: THE ORDINARY

Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 1%

The Ordinary comes from Canada. A high-strength vitamin- and mineral-packed formula to minimize the look of blemishes. Contains a high 10% concentration of niacinamide (vitamin B3); reduces the appearance of spots, marks, and congestion; supported by zinc salt of pyrrolidone carboxylic acid to balance visible aspects of sebum activity. | I’ve heard a lot of good reviews about this product so I tried it, and the brand works for me. It just really takes time to lighten up my dark spots but it works.

EXFOLIATION

Brand: THE ORDINARY

AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution

A 10-minute liquid mask treatment that exfoliates to visibly improve skin texture and tone. This product goal is to enhance brightness, even out skin, and decongest pores; exfoliates the topmost epidermal surface; helps fight visible blemishes for improved radiance; reduces the look of fine lines with continued use. | Take note: this peeling solution stings for a few sec, but it’s tolerable. Read the instruction first before using this product. When I first used this, I noticed my skin feels like a glass skin, like it looks healthy. I was expecting my face to peel,  but it didn’t. I only use this 2-3x a week or whenever my skin needs it. 

PROTECTION

Brand: THE ORDINARY

Vitamin C Suspension 30% in Silicone

Helps reverse multiple signs of skin aging with vitamin C, an effective antioxidant; naturally brightens and refines tone and texture; feels smooth on the skin thanks to very light silicones despite the suspension format of the formulation. | I just recently purchased this and I think it’s a great add for my skincare routine to reduce all the blemishes on my face and fights skin aging because well, I’m not getting any younger anymore. This one is a bit greasy so I only use this in the evening, and it has an off smell but fades away for a few sec.

CLAY MASK

Brand: INNISFREE

Super Volcanic Pore Clay Mask 2X

Innisfree is a Korean product. Features 2x more powerful adherence to sebum for intensive pore care; provides triple exfoliation from encapsulated Jeju volcanic scoria, walnut shell powder, and AHA; enhanced deep cleansing formula removes away fine dust particles, pore-clogging dirt, and dead skin cells; provides powerful sebum-absorbing capacity as it washes away impurities while moisturizing and brightening skin; leaves a cooling sensation when applied that refreshes pores. | I have been using the 1.0 version of this for 3 years, which is the Super Volcanic Pore Clay Mask without 2x. I super love this clay mask because this brighten up my dark spots so fast. I only use this 2-3x a week or whenever my face needs it. I recommend this product.

SHEET MASK

Brand: INNISFREE

My Real Squeeze Mask

These face masks are dew-licious skin treats that target your skin's unique concerns and bump your entire routine up a notch. | So Innisfree has a lot of sheet mask that can be tailored to your skin's daily needs. All I can say that whenever I use this sheet mask, my face feels so hydrated, and fresh. It’s an instant boost for my skin. So every time my face looks so dry and dull, I use this product. 

LASH BOOST

Brand: SKIN GENIE

Hair Growth Booster

Skin Genie is a Philippine product. This nourishing clear serum is the answer to fuller brows and lashes. It helps minimize hair loss, prevent breakage, and prime the strands for healthier regrowth. | This product smells so good and I noticed that my lashes became more stronger, longer, and a bit thicker. It will just take times but it works its magic. I put this if I’m about to sleep because the serum goes inside my eyes and kinda sting a little bit.

LIP CARE

Brand: VASELINE

Lip Therapy

A lip-healing jelly with a mouthwatering chocolate fragrance for silky, supple lips. Clinically proven to moisturize chapped lips; instantly softens and soothes dryness and flaking; locks in moisture to help lips recover from discomfort; leaves a healthy, glossy shine; non-sticky formula glides on smoothly. | My lips get dry very easily, and it always turned chapped. Before I go to sleep, I always make sure to put some of this and viola, the next morning my lips feel so soft and hydrated. I used cocoa butter at night, then I use rosy lips during the day whenever I put my makeup on, and they smell so good.

MOISTURIZER

Brand: NATURE REPUBLIC

Aloe Vera 92% Soothing Gel

A hydrating and cooling gel containing 92% pure aloe vera. Gently moisturizes all skin types, including sensitive skin; soothes and refreshes dry, dehydrated, inflamed, and sunburnt areas; firms skin and naturally protects with vitamins C, E, and other minerals; fast-absorbing gel won’t leave a greasy feel; can be used on hair, face, and body as a moisturizer, mask, and/or sleeping pack | I super love this product. I have been using this for more than 2 years now and it does wonder on my skin. I use it on my hair and body too.

ANTI-ACNE GEL

Brand: GALDERMA

Epiduo Gel (Adapalene and Benzoyl Peroxide) 0.1%/2.5%

Epiduo is a prescription medicine used to treat the symptoms of Acne Vulgaris. Epiduo may be used alone or with other medications. Epiduo belongs to a class of drugs called Acne Agents, Topical Combos. | This gel is pricey, and this was prescribed to me by my Dermatologist. I still use this whenever I have acne, and it dries up my acne fast. 

ACNE PATCH

Brand: COSRX

Acne Pimple Master Patch

This is the original set of hydrocolloid stickers that comes with three different sizes to spot-correct pimples. It heals intensively overnight, protecting problem areas from infection and brings out deep-rooted blemishes without leaving behind scars. Slap a patch on your breakouts for instant relief away from bacteria. This will stop the insane urge to pick at your skin and pop your pimples. It’s made with A.D.F. hydrocolloid dressing, a unique material that helps extract gunk from stubborn zits and speeds up their life cycle. | I absolutely love this patch. I use this in the evening whenever I have a very bad acne. TIP: I use the Epiduo Gel first, applied it on my acne, and then let it dry first before putting the patch. I promise, the next day your acne heals so fast! But sometimes, if it's cystic, it will take a few try like 2-3 patch every night.

ACNE PATCH

Brand: LUXE ORGANIX

Hydrocolloid Acne Spot Patch Night Time

When patched to acne; it increasingly absorbs the pus and oil to reduce inflammation and fasten the healing process. This brand is from Korea. | This product works well on me too, plus it contains more patches than Cosrx. Cosrx isn't available in most stores here in Bataan, so I have to order it online. I just go to Watson and buy this, which is very convenient for me. 

CLEANSER

Soft Silicone Facial Cleansing Brush

Gently scrub your face with this along with the Foaming Cleanser, it is easy to use. It is great for getting rid of dirt and clogged up skin. I noticed that after I wash my face with full on makeup, it get rids all the excess makeup and dirt that you have on your face because whenever I apply my toner, you can’t barely see any dirt. You better get one of this. I got mine from Watson, and it is very affordable. 

FACIAL MASSAGE

Brand: BE KIND

Jade Facial Roller + Guasha Set

This beauty tool duo will renew fatigued skin in just a few cooling strokes. Made from 100% authentic jade, each tool is uniquely designed for restorative facial massages. Not only do these tools boost product absorption, they also offer different types of massages. The roller stimulates lymphatic drainage that reduces puffiness, while the gua sha relieves tense facial muscles. When used together, they liven up dull skin for a fresh, well-rested look. | Sadly, I broke my jade roller, but I am getting one soon. Make sure that before you use this tool, put it first on the freezer for a few minutes, and it feels so good, I swear! I used the jade roller whenever I put on my sheet mask. While I used guasha whenever I put on my moisturizer because it glides really well when your skin is moisturize.

OIL CONTROL

Brand: THE FACE SHOP

Oil Blotting Films

Contains 50 silky-soft blotting sheets; made with excellent oil-absorbing 3M film; works to absorb excess sebum; leaves skin looking fresh and grease-free. | I read that if you have oily skin and you're wearing makeup, don't put on another layer of powder just to get rid of the oiliness on your face. Instead, use this oil-blotting film to remove all the oil before retouching your makeup. It's a helpful way not to clog your pores and for your makeup not to look cakey. 

More skincare products that works on me but I don’t use it anymore:

MOISTURIZER

Brand: DRUNK ELEPHANT

Protini™ Polypeptide Cream

Protini’s proprietary formula restores younger, revived-looking skin, almostfrom the first application. Lines, wrinkles, and signs of sun damage appearreduced, and skin feels strengthened and moisturized. | I only have the sample bottle of this because this brand is a little expensive but I heard a lot of good reviews on this. It’s a bit thick for my taste, so I make sure to wear this at night and not under my makeup, that’s only if you have oily skin. 

SHEET MASK

Brand: FARMSKIN

Superfood Coconut Salad Mask Package

A set of 7 sheet masks that leaves your skin brighter, hydrated, and more youthful. Nourish, moisturize, and illuminate skin with this set of sheet masks formulated with a combination of superfoods and colostrum ingredient. | First time using this product, and so far, it doesn't have any negative reaction on my skin since they used organic ingredients on their products. Farmskin has different kinds of sheet mask packages, and it is tailored depends on your skin's daily needs. This package is for brightening and hydrating my face since I need to get rid of my blemishes and dark spots.

FACIAL OIL

Brand: HERES B2UTY

Tea Tree Oil Serum

A multi-benefit serum that clarifies your complexion. Treats acne and soothes redness and swelling with tea tree oil; enriched with green tea, which contain antioxidant and anti-inflammatory catechins to hydrate and regulate excess oil production; fades spots, eliminates acne scars, and protects against free radicals with chamomile, a powerhouse antioxidant; improves moisture levels as it minimizes the look of fine lines and wrinkles with rose hip oil; alleviates irritation as it tightens skin with antiseptic and anti-inflammatory witch hazel; draws moisture to skin with hyaluronic acid to revitalize skin’s outer layers; plumps, restores, and renews to instantly improve the appearance of fine lines. | When I started using this, I thought it was to prevent me from having acne. This oil doesn't work on my acne though, but it lessens the oiliness on my face. I just don't use it very often because I'm so lazy or sometimes I forgot. LOL

TONER

Brand: ESKINOL

Spotless White Classic Cleanser

Eskinol provides products which are specifically formulated for the Filipina skin. Its range of products is known to effectively solve oily skin problems and pimples. Removes deep-seated dirt, excess oil, and makeup with micro-cleanse anti-bacterial formula. Pure Calamansi extracts known to whiten skin. It has vitamin C derivatives to help lighten dark spots in as early as 1 week for an even skin tone. | This product is classic and very effective that's why until now it's still here, unlike other brands being discontinued in the market. I have been using this since college, but later on this particular calamansi formula is more effective on me, while the other formula doesn't work on me. 

BUYING THESE PRODUCT SOON:

PROTECTION

Brand: COSRX

Aloe Soothing Sun Cream SPF50 PA+++

An aloe-infused moisturizing sunscreen for dehydrated skin. Protects skin from ultraviolet rays and other environmental damages with SPF50 PA+++ | I’m reading a lot of good reviews about this product, so I am adding this to my cart now hehe. 

EYE CREAM

Brand: NEUTROGENA

Rapid Wrinkle Repair Eye Cream

Help improve the signs of skin aging with Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Eye Cream. Specially formulated for the delicate eye area, the fast-acting retinol cream helps fade the look of stubborn crow's feet, brightens and evens skin tone in the under-eye area, helps smooth fine lines and texture, and reduces the look of dark circles. This clinically proven retinol formula works quickly with visible results in just one week. | It says that this is the best eye cream for 2020 so let’s see if it’s going to work on my eyes hehe.

Whew! That was a lot of information. I hope you find this helpful and give your skin the love it deserves. If you have any questions or suggestion please don’t be afraid to say it to me. Til next time!

Love Lots,  Jamie  ♡

[kwbaker]

The Big Chicken by K Baker Via Flickr: 12 Cobb Pkwy. N, Marietta, GA https://www.ajc.com/things-to-do/atlantas-originals-visit-landmarks-that-are-unique-to-our-city/ locations.kfc.com/ga/marietta/12-cobb-pkwy-n

https://www.kfc.com/menu/promotions

The Big Chicken is a KFC restaurant in Marietta, Georgia, which features a 56-foot-tall steel-sided structure designed in the appearance of a chicken rising up from the top of the building. It is located at the city's biggest intersection of Cobb Parkway and Roswell Road and is a well-known landmark in the area. Constructed in 1956, it was rebuilt following storm damage in 1993 and underwent a $2 million renovation project in 2017.

  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Chicken

The restaurant was built in 1956 at 12 Cobb Parkway, on the newly constructed stretch of Highway 41, the first divided highway in Cobb County. Taking advantage of the prime location on the new and quicker route for travelers on U.S. 41, Johnny Reb's Chick, Chuck and Shake owner S. R. "Tubby" Davis erected the 56-foot (17-meter) tall structure over his restaurant in 1963 as a method of advertising.[2] The novelty architecture was designed by Hubert Puckett, a Georgia Tech student of architecture, and fabricated by Atlantic Steel in nearby Atlanta (of which Marietta is a suburb). Davis later sold it to his brother, and it became a franchise of KFC.[3]

In January 1993, storm winds damaged the structure, and rather than tear it down KFC was forced by public outcry to re-erect the building.[2] Among those who complained about the Big Chicken being torn down were pilots, who used the building as a reference point when approaching Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport and Dobbins Air Reserve Base.[4] The new Big Chicken includes the original design of beak and eyes which move, although this time the vibrations which plagued the first structure (even to the point of breaking windows) have been eliminated.[5] Pieces of the original structure were sold to collectors as souvenirs. In early April 2006, the structure narrowly escaped a small eastward-moving nighttime tornado, which overturned a tractor-trailer at a Kmart across the street, and damaged another building nearby.

The Big Chicken is commonly used as a landmark for driving directions. Locals will often include "make a [turn] at the Big Chicken", or "it's about x miles past the Big Chicken". This is referenced in music video game Rock Band 3's "Road Challenge Mode", when the player is told "Don't be alarmed if you're asking for directions in the bus and the locals tell you to 'turn left at the Big Chicken'".[6]

It has also led to a small cottage industry of sorts, selling souvenirs emblazoned with the monument, including one sweatshirt showing Big Ben in London, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Colosseum in Rome, and of course, the Big Chicken in Marietta. A board game featuring the Big Chicken and other local landmarks was also produced. There is a barbershop-style singing group called the Big Chicken Chorus, formed in 1986, which gives concerts throughout the year.[7][8] The Big Chicken was also featured on a promotional card in Sim City: The Card Game. The Big Chicken has also appeared in the comic strip Zippy the Pinhead as a part of artist Bill Griffith's fascination with roadside icons.

Ratings and reviews

3.5

45 reviews

#31

of 56

Teresa M11 reviewsReviewed September 8, 2020

No Stars If I Could

This location NEVER gets their orders right! And you can't call to complain because nobody answers the phone.

Date of visit: September 2020Helpful?

James C568 reviewsReviewed February 22, 2020 via mobile

Lunch

Great KFC at a land mark the place is clean the service was excellent if in the area need to stop by and try this place

Date of visit: February 2020Helpful?

mistyraine76 reviewsReviewed November 14, 2019

its kfc it is what it is

I do enjoy the dark meat meals the best, the mc and cheese bowl is also very good, What i don't understand is why the manager always parks in the best parking spot, Manager used to psrk across several handicap spaces but now only parks...More

Date of visit: November 2019Helpful?

camista270 reviewsReviewed April 5, 2019 via mobile

Eat inside a true original

This building is truly unique - has its own Wikipedia Page! Great photo-op with the family - Huge Chicken on roof with moving beak and eyes. Inside is spectacularly clean, with historical photos and a gift shop. The restaurant itself is a KFC - just...More

Date of visit: April 2019Helpful?

Staciajc123 reviewsReviewed March 19, 2019

It's THE BIG CHICKEN!

I am born & raised in Marietta, GA. And if you need directions to anything in Marietta - folks will tell you to go to the BIG CHICKEN and turn...LOL....what would we Mariettians do without it? We would literally be lost! It's a KFC inside...More

Date of visit: February 2019Helpful?

Bbqman33411,801 reviewsReviewed February 21, 2019 via mobile

Good meal despite tourist attraction

The chicken was fresh, hot and delicious. The real draw is this massive 100 foot tall tin chicken perched smack dab on highway 41. It’s been there near 60 years and only been remodeled a time or two. It’s cleaner now than it had been...More

Date of visit: February 2019Helpful?

olaf s56 reviewsReviewed February 10, 2019

Always good to eet at KFC

Well the choice of menu's and burgers are way mor than in the Netherlands. Did take the variety menu with the 3 different marietta burgers. they where good

Date of visit: December 2018Helpful?1  

joannereed5 reviewsReviewed December 23, 2018 via mobile

Horrible service

Walked in with my family at 8:30 to eat and a very rude worker told us the lobby was closed and we had to go through drive through. We apologized and wall out but on the way out we looks at the posted hours and...More

Date of visit: December 2018Helpful?

Bbqman33411,801 reviewsReviewed December 11, 2018

there is only one

and it's large, really tall and tight on the roadside. the food inside is about the same as most other KFC's but just the notion of parking your can underneath such a huge facade and looking up as you walk inside is worth the stop...More

Date of visit: December 2018Helpful?

GrandTour43417117 reviewsReviewed November 26, 2018 via mobile

Bad food

The building is fun to look at and it has cute souvenirs, but that’s it. The food was horrible. Staff was friendly, though!

Date of visit: November 2018Helpful?

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works 1 - 25 (FINAL) | Waver OVA

Much like the Fate/Zero post, this is mostly a set of notes which has already been released and is preserved here because of the difference editing makes. There was one completely insensitive, uninformed note and a note which I was writing down to be “more in character” which I’ve removed in all instances of the notes, though - it’s better you not know what was being said there. 

F/SN UBW 1 (Prologue)

Now that’s the Rin I know from fandom whispers.

Turns out this is ep. 0 and there’s actually 12 eps…

This brunette reminds me of Maiya.

This wavy haired guy’s a Matou? Geesh, he somehow reminds me of the Great B*stard Archer.

Miss Fujimura’s a bit of a non-sequitur…

If I remember the fan whispers right, his name is Issei Hyoudou…? (Or is that the High School DxD guy?) Update: Issei Hyoudou is the High School DxD guy, this is Issei Ryuudou.

If people die when they are killed, then machines should, too.

I already know from checking up previous info that UBW is for the 5th Holy Grail War and Shiro Emiya is part of it.

The button says “voicemail”…well, it’s actually rusu, where rusuban denwa = answering machine (denwa = phone, so rusu means something like “protecting the house (while you’re gone)”). The best way to translate it would be “voicemail” though.

Fuyuki  Church (Kyoukai)? Rin has them on her voicemail???

I seem to remembr reading that this white-haired character is an alternate universe Shiro Emiya…but I guess we’ll find out later, huh?

Hmm…I’ve seen this Command Seal before. I think it might be Dewbond’s profile pic, in fact…which tells me that he likes Rin.

The compulsion the guy is talking about reminds me of Steph from NGNL and how she was forced to fall in love with Sora.

Rin’s treating this like a gacha game…LOL.

Pride vs. pride, huh? Anyways, I think the really entertaining thing of putting me under the pump like this is that I have such an incomplete understanding of how the Fate/ universe works that the outcomes of everything create enough entertainment for those who’ve committed to said universe. The things that I do know might be really late-game though – such as the white-haired Servant being an alternate Shiro – so I have my own surprises to confirm.

“The Archer class really is made up of archers!” - …and people die if they are killed, y’know? (<- I know this from the memes. I won’t cover Deen/Stay Night, people don’t normally recommend it.)

Why is a cup omnipotent, anyway? Cups don’t have the ability to have knowledge. By the way, I bet Rin’s acquaintance will have something to do with this.

Rin’s Holy Grail War work reminds me of my own experience with piano. Basically, I grew up doing it, so I never questioned it until I thought about what I really wanted to do. I expect Rin will be the same way.

Hmm…Sakura and…the Great B*stard?

Rin says all of this about “crude garbage”, so all I can focus on is the bin off to the side…LOL.

Oooooooh…so this appearance of Sakura is why people put F/Z before this.

Saber…the reason she’s so popular is because she appears in so many incarnations of Fate/ that she’s basically become a poster girl for it.

F/SN UBW 2

There’s something that pisses me off about Sakura. It’s probably because she’s fairly submissive, like a girl who was written to be a guy’s fantasy.

The OP and ED was subbed the first time, so the fact this isn’t is interesting.

I think I’ve seen these scenes before…probably because they look exactly like the setup for Today’s Menu for Emiya Family.

Hypoxia.

Sakura’s boobs jiggled…urgh…

This episode feels a lot more like a VN intro.

Some of these scenes were from a different perspective in the prologue, so I’ll try to skip them.

Stove = heater, if you didn’t catch on.

Oh hey, Emiya isn’t part of the archery club anymore…but there’s some evidence that an alternate Emiya became that Archer Rin has.

That’s Ilya, isn’t it…?

Emiya’s magic incompetence reminds me of Waver.

Shinji is Sakura’s older bro??? I never heard of this…? Step-bro, maybe?

I read one of the labels on the machine – makanai setto – and turns out it’s a [meal] set for staff (teachers).

This series’s messages are like anvils…even more so than F/Z.

Where does Emiya work…? (For some reason, I call Kiritsugu that but Shirou “Emiya”.)

Archer’s not in white…not that much, anyway.

“…I really nearly was killed.” – Yes, and people die when they are killed, Emiya. You said so yourself in Deen/Stay Night.

I know this iconic scene where Emiya stares at Saber! I’ve seen it in all the screenshots and everything.

F/SN UBW 3

The blindfolded woman in the OP is apparently Medea. I think I mentioned her offhandedly in one of the WP posts I did, so I didn’t expect to see her so soon.

Most of this ep is explaining this stuff to beginners. I can skip that.

I don’t get the appeal of Rin, but then again, I’m neutral at best on tsunderes.

Shoten Books? Like, Bookseller Books? How redundant…

“[G]enuine fake priest” - …LOL wut?

Why is Kirei giving me Equilibrium vibes…? Oh, it’s because he has silly hair that reminds me of Christian Bale. That’s why.

Most of this episode was recap from F/Z, so I skipped it.

F/SN UBW 4

I’m laughing – this new Berserker reminds me of Tsukasa (Dr Stone).

Ah, same old Gilgamesh. He’s just in different clothes.

Kiritsugu felt like he actually was a character. Emiya? Just a blank slate, really.

Welp, that was over fast…

F/SN UBW 5

I’m getting sick of Rin’s tsundereness, fast.

Okay, crash course in types of Servants. I needed this.

*Saber reveals the outfit is from Rin* - Ooh, Shiro, don’t go judgin’ Rin like that…

Oh-hoh, Sakura does archery, huh?

I bet Kuzuki actually is a mage. That’s how these things always turn out, no?

Actually, I think Emiya might be a better match for my piano experience. There’s this one person who played at a higher level of piano than I did, but they kept telling me that I was way better than them at piano (although I don’t know if that was self-deprecation and/or inflating my ego). As I mentioned in my relation to Rin, I forcibly cut it out of my life because my parents chose it for me – in short, no desire to hit the target, in one way of speaking.

I can see why Fate/ needed a cooking spinoff now…LOL.

Shinto = New City, with a particular combo of kanji.

Are these Touken Ranbu enemies, Rin…? (They’re called Historical Revisionists, technically, and I specifically refer to enemy wakizashi.)

I seem to remember from somewhere Sakura is Caster’s master…hmm. Another thing to confirm.

F/SN UBW 6

That Rin reaction face! I’ve seen it before!

LOL, that “I haven’t been sleeping lately” is relatable.

Medea is one of the only Servants that was originally a woman, so…it’s interesting to see she’s been given a chain as a method to keep up (but also vaguely annoying to see her have such a short skirt). A chain weapon seems to be the sort of weapon for an agile user, with possible sexual overtones (if you want to interpret it that way), so it seems like it came straight from a male fantasy of a woman.

Rin is the sort that places a lot of stock into obligations, I see.

F/SN UBW 7

I learnt how to read the word “mirage” in Japanese somewhat recently (in comparison to the basics, which I learnt through a CD-ROM maybe…15 or so years ago?). It’s shinkirou.

I find it interesting that these eps. are marked as Fate/Stay Night and the series is Fate/Stay Night UBW, because Deen/Stay Night (as I’ve been referring to the Deen version of F/SN) looks pretty different to Ufotable’s F/SN, judging by that “People die when they are killed” meme.

The subbers spelt “specialty” wrong…

Well, Emiya, being in a room with a girl…alone…you really are a typical VN lead, aren’t you?

LOL! I knew Kojiro was also part of this series and I think I knew he was an Assassin, but s***! He’s an absolute looker!

…and *sigh* Caster is using her sensuality against men. A regular Fujiko Mine, she is.

I think my heart did something when Archer gave that intense stare at Caster, too. This is no time for a reverse harem!

F/SN UBW 8

Ahh! Kojiro Sasaki’s (this Assassin’s) so hot! I love it!

The only person who can beat Saber is another swordsperson, huh? Logic checks out.

That blue ring looks like the one at the start of Shinchou Yuusha’s OP.

F/SN UBW 9

I thought Shinji was gonna barf, but that was actually laughing…that’s what happens when you don’t have the volume on.

This replacement Gilgamesh (Shinji) sucks…

Just squinting at Caster’s chest…boobs do not work that way, people. Fabric goes over things like that, it doesn’t tuck itself so neatly around them.

I think Rin’s a real idiot for ignoring that Shinji is a Master and a mage…

I almost thought Shiro was gonna kiss Sakura for a second there. Apparently you should approach an unconscious person from behind and tap them on the shoulder (as opposed to going from the front to listen for breath), in case they try to punch your lights out.

Watching Eizouken, which doesn’t have girly runs for the girls, and then watching this makes you aware even Rin is capable of girly running…(LOL?)

Gee whiz, I was so sure this purple lady with the whip was Medea and a Caster-class Servant. So she’s a Rider??? Update: So it was Caster, masquerading as Rider…is that how it goes…?

So is this a locked-room – or locked-school – mystery…?

F/SN UBW 10

This is basically “You wanna go?” from Saber.

Considering the coronavirus, these words (about people getting out of the attack completely healthy) seem sort of weird…

Samosan? Seppa seppa? What dialect is this???

*Emiya asks Issei to strip* - Ooh…this is why Fate is popular with women…*thinks of the fact this was a male-oriented VN first* Maybe.

I still think the Great B*stard kinda looks like Kyo from Fruits Basket (…not that I ever mentioned it earlier).

I just realised Taiga’s shirt is striped orange/black…like a tiger.

The amount of still frames in this episode, in comparison to the usual number, is significantly higher.

F/SN UBW 11

I just realised Kinoko Nasu means “mushroom” and “eggplant” if not exactly written the way it is…what a name…

*something about being useful to others* - U-Uwaaaaah…Emiya! Stop reminding me of all the things I’ve done at the cost of myself!

Hmm? I googled Rin’s birthday and I thought she was a Leo – she’s an Aquarius (Feb. 3rd).

Rin absolutely steamrolled Emiya, LOL.

I get the feeling Archer is saying “Only you can save yourself”.

F/SN UBW 12

Randomly, there is a Volkswagen.

*something about Emiya photosynsthesising* - Rin, that’s not how people work…

Batting centre? How can girls go there in skirts without flashing anyone? That’s taking into consideration how short Rin’s skirt is, y’know…(Practicality comes first at all times, people…well, not for Saber, who’s wearing stockings, but I worry about Rin, as you can see.)

People find blushing tsunderes cute…I kinda get it for male tsunderes, but for Rin…not really.

Ack! Another double episode!

Why does this ominous vibe on a bus remind me of Harry Potter…? (Then again, the first things I remember of the movies were a shrunken head and a bus that could squeeze through gaps, which might explain things.)

Hmm? So what is Kuzuki’s place in Caster’s life, huh? Who’s controlling the puppet?

Come to think of it, who is Assassin’s real Master? If Caster has control of him, that means he belonged to someone else before that, right?

I feel sorry for Assassin. I mean, he has to keep talking to Caster with his body torn open like that…

“Princess of Colchis” – So Caster is Medea! Maybe Scott (who said I was wrong about that) was thinking I was referring to Rider. Rider and Caster do look awfully similar…but wait, so what was the real identity of Rider, then? Update: Reading over the notes, I was mistakenly referring to Rider as Caster, hence the comment.

Wolverine!Kirei strikes again, it seems.

Lel, I forgot about Lancer…and Berserker, now that I think of it.

F/SN UBW 13

So this is Brave Shine, huh? It doesn’t sound familiar at all…

…aaaaaaaaand of course Saber is in a fancy white dress. It’ll sell a lot of figures – in fact, I think I’ve actually seen Saber figures with that outfit while browsing for Nendoroids and other merch as of late.

F/SN UBW 14

Well, this blonde guy’s hair is nice…but he’s basically Shou Tucker all over again. (I haven’t even completed Fullmetal Alchemist in any form – I just know what the guy did because the fans talk about it a lot.)

Gosh, evil begets nothing but more evil, huh? (re: Kirei and blondie here)

I gotta facepalm - this blonde dude really shouldn’t have maltreated Medea. She has a reputation for a reason.

It took me a few tries and the brightening of my screen to figure it out, but Caster spotted Kuzuki.

Gilgamesh, what the f*** did you do to those poor maids?! (Even if they were homunculi…)

The subbers appear to have spelt “homunculus” slightly wrong…

F/SN UBW 15

“Going through the front door would be a bad idea.” – Yeah, and people die when they are killed.

I really respect Illya now…and can see why she got her own spinoff.

This snowy mountain makes me realise exactly why they chose Ufotable for Demon Slayer.

F/SN UBW 16

I was wondering what Gilgamesh had torn out of Illya…ew.

I was watching Shazam the other day and a piece of advice the titular superhero gives is “Look out for number one.” (i.e. yourself) Rin has much the same mentality.

I seriously facepalmed when they tried to protect each other. One person should learn to stand down in the relationship for that to work.

Hmm…so this means Lancer’s Master is male, huh? (Why is that Master still a mystery anyway…?)

I facepalmed the third time (the second was soon after the first) when Emiya thought he could seriously protect Rin from Lancer. Knowing who Lancer’s Master is a much bigger priority right now, man – this isn’t a romcom!

I like Lancer’s sideways gaze, LOL.

*Archer comes in* - Well, hasn’t it been a while since we saw this guy? (voice drips with sarcasm)

“druther” – Hmm? I’ve never heard of this word before. Apparently, it means (when used as “If I had my druthers…”) “If I had my way…”.

Hmm? What’s this? There are two pendants instead of one…?

F/SN UBW 17

There’s a lot of shots centring around Lancer’s butt…LOL. (Or is that just the female gaze I’m forcing on to this?) Even still, because Lancer has an outfit like that, it’s kinda hard not to see that he does have a fine one.

“You have a lack of pride in your sword skills.” – Uhhhhhhh…I guess that’s why he’s Archer…?

I never seem to know who the Lancers are…geesh. Like, I could pick one from a crowd of Servants, but not their real names. Update: As it turns out, Karna (the one Indian Servant I had my eye on from Apocrypha) is a Lancer in Fate/Grand Order.

Apparently, Gungnir is the spear of Odin.

Kuzuki is a Master…of the Naruto run. (LOL)

Noting “sieben” and stuff, I think Rin’s magic is German in nature.

Why does Medea have elven ears, anyway…?

F/SN UBW 18

The subs suddenly turned yellow! What the heck?! (Prior to this, subs were white.) Update: Come to think of it, only Aniplex shows have yellow subs, while Funimation ones have white subs (although HiDive let you choose between white and black, the standard is white on the hardsubs). This might mean a switchover between who’s responsible for the show happened while this anime was airing.

“…within your grasp?”

Ooh, this I didn’t expect! Saber joined forces with Rin!

“…your wish was a mistake.”

*Shiro fights swords with more swords* - For some reason, I feel like I need to play some Daft Punk right now. (I don’t even like them as an artist, even though I’m meant to be the EDM expert around here…)

This all but confirms Archer is actually a Shiro Emiya from a distant future.

I just imagined an Archer whose body was made of swords. What a compelling image – a literal human weapon.

Those hand gestures…Shinji is a massive creep.

Huh? I’ve been skipping the post-credits segments for previous episodes because I’m binging, but there’s a post-credits segment here…

Hmm…this next-ep preview had a rook (or a king? I’m no good at identifying chess pieces by their appearance) with a red glowing symbol on it facing what appeared to be the symbol of the Saber class. What an interesting representation of the upcoming inevitable faceoff.

F/SN UBW 19

Wouldn’t it not make sense for future!Shirou to kill present!Shirou? I mean, you know the time travel paradox…if you kill the present guy, the future guy doesn’t exist.

“Sorry about that, punk.” – LOL. Lancer’s great.

Hey, wasn’t Kirei dea-oh right. In fiction, when there is no corpse, you can’t have assumed the character died. They probably skedaddled off somewhere, heavily bleeding and/or on the edge of death…and I’m assuming that was how Kirei got out of his scuffle too.

All this talk about ideals makes me wanna play Odd Future for some reason, LOL. (Well, the first line of that song is “I keep my ideals”, no?)

“…it is you who is disobeying orders.”

A eunuch, huh? Rin, you do know that a eunuch has his *erhem erhem* cut off…right?

Okay, people. Why must women be the source of the Holy Grail? This is only the 2nd time I’ve gotten to this point and you’ve got enough men to fuel the Grail instead. Why not use them??? Update: It’s safe to say I get my wish later.

“You’ve been removed from the bounds of time.” Subbers, I know you’re under pressure to produce subs, but please proofread…? Pretty please? Update: I should proofread too. My E key is a bit dodgy at the moment.

I predicted, a few seconds before it appeared on my screen, that Shirou wasn’t the type to do things he regretted. Yyyyyyyyyyup. That’s Shirou, alright.

F/SN UBW 20

Okayyyyyy. That was not an episode title that needed to be subbed.

Oh, gosh. Can you please just knee Shinji where it hurts, Rin…? I know you’re being choked, but you could still do something lik that.

…(lol)…What the heck, Shinji’s such a self-preserving prick!

So how many times did Lancer actually die and how many times was he faking it out?

“Dying because of some order that comes with being a hero.”

So who’s Gilgamesh’s Master now…?

Hmm…I thought by saving Rin and Saber, Shirou was already a hero. Maybe it’s just a perception thing.

H-Hey, Shirou…you keep saying redundant things…

F/SN UBW 21

Why is Saber just standing there, anyway…? (Well, Shirou did say it was his fight, but…she can do something…)

Okay, whose idea was it to cut after “However…”?! That’s terrible pacing.

This series peaked quite a few episodes ago. Now it’s just stretching for time.

Um, hey. Random question. Didn’t King Arthur draw Excalibur from the sword in the stone? Is that a stone or a tree stump? It’s hard to tell since the zoom quality is funny, but…if it’s a tree stump, someone got a crucial detail wrong. Update: Nup, it’s a stone. Forget I told you.

Having sacrificed myself for over a year for other people’s sake, I can’t say I agree that giving yourself up for others is a beautiful thing. This is speaking as someone who volunteers at a not-for-profit (the charity store). In fact, having thought long and hard about the fact I’ve completely gone down the wrong path from having taken this one opportunity I was given (note I did get rejected from a similar place before I got the position I did), I’ve thought, occasionally, that sort of thing is disgusting.

Did the Great B*stard even age 10 years while waiting for this new war…?

“…left off 10 years ago.”

Uh-oh. I don’t like Shinji – you can clearly tell that from the way I’ve been reacting to him – but there’s no way you’d use him as a Grail vessel…right?

F/SN UBW 22

If I understand the pink box correctly, it says kayumino-ru which is…*checks that up* itch cream(?) Another of the boxes says either iburon or ipuron, but it seems to be some kind of medicine (although I can’t figure out what it does).

“…flashy gold jerk…” – Yup, that’s why he’s the Great B*stard. The most narcisstic of all b*stards –so narcisstic he survived a Holy Grail War without being the victor.

Lemme guess, Rin…if I know my visual novels right, then the way to establish the mana link is either kissing or sexual intercourse, right? Update: Oh well, transplantation of a Magic Crest will work too. With the way Rin was reacting, I thought it was gonna be really intimate, but…nup. It’s just them taking off their shirts for one another…*whistles and pretends to walk away*

The reason I don’t like tsunderes is that whenever they want to be romantic, you can’t tell whether they’re giving mixed signals or not. Then again, you could argue I count as one, so…uh…*sweatdrop*

Shirou, why are you so concerned for the pillow?!

F/SN UBW 23

You can barely recognise the guy (Shinji)…huh.

H-Hey? You couldn’t mean Assassin’s back, right? Update: Y-Yep, that’s Assassin, alright. At least I can gaze upon his handsome face again…(lol) (<- If you’re wondering, there’s a difference between “lol” (or “small LOL”), “lel” and “LOL”. That’s the order they’re meant to be in, going from smallest to biggest laugh.)

Had to check Wikipedia, but Monohoshizao is the pole (?) wielded by Kojiro Sasaki…well, the correct term is nodachi (which I know better as ootachi from Touken Ranbu), but it’s referred to as a pole. To add something interesting to that, the ootachi I like the most (my beloved Taroutachi) is said to be 221 cm (throwing that into a converter, about 7.25 feet) and 4.5 kg (converting again, about 9.92 pounds)...which is basically something no human should be able to use, so if the pole is anything like Taroutachi...I have immense respect for this Assassin as well.

Assassin’s treatment here reminds me of Tora from Juuni Taisen…in a sense, they got what they wanted.

F/SN UBW 24

Cue the law of equivalent exchange from Fullmetal Alchemist, hahaha.

How can you be so sure you’ll beat the Great B*stard, Shirou???

Well, that Grail’s Holey, alright…(I bet you’re groaning at my joke, yes?)

I thought Archer was dead?! How did he fling a weapon at the last moment?!

Archer, you’re disappearing! This is no time for monologuing!

Why do I get the feeling I’ve seen Rin give the thumbs-up before as well…?

F/SN UBW 25 (FINAL)

Eyyyyyy? London…? Update: Oh, it’s the Clock Tower! That OVA is starting to make sense now! (Although I will watch it next, so there’s no need to muse over it.)

Tohsaka without pigtails is…weird.

Sherou (?)

Oh, romantic infighting (voice dripping in sarcasm)…That’s not what I’m here for. This is not a harem.

Ponytail Rin. This just gets weirder and weirder. Also, she kinda looks like Ishtar from Babylonia like that.

Tiny Pigtail Rin…it gets even weirder.

*yells* See?! It is London after all!!!

Update: Prior to this point, I had Silhouettes (by Avicii) playing in my head on occasion, notably when Archer was meeting his end. When Shirou came face-to-face with Saber’s grave, it switched to So Amazing by Luther Vandross. Although I normally don’t mention what I have on my mental playlist in notes like these, I just want to make note of that because it reflects the switch in mood. (Also, this is basically an extended transition into El-Melloi’s Case Files.)

Hmph. Yeah, nothing like hindsight to make something huge look small.

Sakura and Shinji’s relationship…it reminds me of a grumpy old man and his young daughter…(LOL?)

Ryudou’s reaction to romance reminds me of Tenya (from BnHA) in his more crazy moments.

All this talk about the Clock Tower is making me think that older!Waver will show up at any moment now…

…wa-hey? Well, *spits out some held-back laughter* whaddaya know? That’s the older Waver right there!

Ufotable’s older!Waver and Troyca’s older!Waver look fairly different. Ufotable’s isn’t as attractive because his hair has an artificial sheen to it and the man’s face looks more like a snake’s head in shape, so he looks a bit dumb. Update: Certainly Troyca’s Waver has a more egg-shaped head, but at least that makes his hair look nicer, no?

Post-credits segment. Keep watching.

Huh…that segment wasn’t very substantial. Maybe Hoshiai no Sora spoilt me on that front.  

Waver OVA (REWATCH)

*yells* I still think Flat Escardos is a terrible name!

LOL, I think Waver just called out a bunch of political writers right there.

So who are these old people??? (Lennon Glasses and Old Lady here) I still don’t know. Update: You do find out later – Inorai is the old lady and Rocco is the old man.

Okay, so apparently the set of characters used for “Rail Zeppelin” is literally translated to Demon Eyes Collection Train...sounds like something out of Demon Slayer.

If Kayneth is the OG Lord and this Reines girl is the new one, how did Waver become gen. 2? *rewinds a little* She’s el-Melloi Archisorte, meaning that somehow she and Kayneth are blood-related (also note Monkey D Luffy = Luffy is his first name and Monkey is the last name with D being a middle initial, so Reines could have her names around the wrong way as well). Still doesn’t answer the Waver part of the question, though. Update: The character page of the official website says Reines is the rightful heir to the name “Lord (Lady?) El-Melloi”, but she appointed Waver to be the Lord while she waited to become of age and take the position.  

As you know, I gotta question the guy’s (Waver) age. In Fate/Zero he was 19 and he looks much the same ten years later, so his approximate age range is 19 – 29 here. Wikipedia (which I linked earlier) says the anime this OVA is attached to occurs between the Grail Wars, meaning I might not be able to get an exact age. Update: “[A]lmost 10 years”, so I’d wager he’s on the back end of the age range (24 – 29).

Ooh, another good boy (Bram). I forgot he existed…and that’s kinda nasty that he’s got the bloodline of Sola-Ui in him. Update: Oh! Younger sister! That is nasty!

The word shisho (師匠), if I’m guessing the right characters, means “instructor” (or “teacher” if you wanna bend it that way). “Sir” is Waver’s title…I’m guessing that translatio choice is because he’s not a professor in title, assuming professor titles in this are given like they are in real life.

There’s something quite cute about Waver making such an indignant face…then again, he does have permanent worry lines on his face, so maybe not.

Like, whose bright idea was it to crush on the loli? Ravioli, ravioli, don’t crush on the loli! (Then again, I’m probaby worse, chasing after older men…)

Come to think of it, Ufotable is good at action motion (see exhibit A: Demon Slayer), but not free-flowing comedic motion like Waver falling over like this. That’s probably why the show jumped studios to Troyca (aside from divvying up the work of the Fate/ universe – Ei Aoki did F/Z, after all, so it makes sense he’d have some ability to take dibs on whatever works best for his studio…although he wasn’t too involved with this, I don’t think). Update: He was supervisor and storyboarder for this OVA.

Waver: Official butt monkey of the Clock Tower. Calling it now.

Troyca animates F/Z (however briefly)…I must say, they did a good job imitating Ufotable.

All I really remember from the first time around is the car chase, which really shows my priorities in anime…heh heh.

Troyca’s CGI is more noticeable than Ufotable’s, but they’re still on of the best studios for CGI, I think. That’s why they’re on my favourites list over Ufotable (since Ufotable, by general consensus, does better work but I think it looks more artificial in parts – case in point, Waver’s hair).

Setting up a mystery, like all stories, is very much about setting up the boundaries that you’re allowed to play in later. The only thing is that mysteries get more stringently judged for logic.

Hey, whaddaya know? Waver can fit Rider’s old shirt now! (Or maybe it’s the smaller version Waver implied was given to him during F/Z.)

“[W]hydunit” (in English) – LOL? There’s “whodunit”, but not “whydunit” – stick to “motive” or “modus operandi”, people.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Forty-Four: Bearing Fruit ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: A Light Amongst Shadows ] [ AO3 Link ]

For so long, he had so little to show for his actions.

His growth while training in Konoha felt...stagnate. From age seven when the massacre occurred to thirteen when the chūnin exams concluded, it was like he crawled along at a snail’s pace while time raced forward. Time, time, he never had enough time…!

Training under Orochimaru was...better, but still felt...lacking. Not in the sense that the snake sannin was keeping things from him, or...coddling him. More like he didn’t take Sasuke entirely seriously. Their views...differed. Whenever Sasuke spared those Orochimaru demanded he kill, he was called soft. It didn’t matter that he argued no one else had to die but Itachi. He could still see the derision in his teacher’s eyes.

A look that clearly said weak.

Then, finally, nearly a decade of work paid off. He confronted his brother, had a long and bloody battle...but emerged the victor. At last, his clan would have peace. Revenge.

But...no.

It was all a lie.

Madara - or Obito, as Sasuke later learned he was truly called - pulled the rug out from under him. Granted...as furious and confused as he was, Sasuke had to be grateful. If not for Obito and his scheming...he’d likely have never known about the truth of the Uchiha incident. Behind the slaughter of his family, his clan, his people.

But what irked him most wasn’t that he’d been lied to...it was that, once again, all his efforts were in vain. He mourned his brother, of course...but it felt like he’d been knocked all the way back to square one. Seeking revenge against those who wronged him.

Once again he was a little boy staring up angrily at the people who had truly taken everything from him.

But this time...he wouldn’t fail.

Danzō was simple enough. The fool’s martyrdom didn’t bother Sasuke in the slightest. It wasn’t like he’d have lasted much longer anyway. Next on his list was Konoha.

But before that could happen, Obito went and started a war. And during that war, Sasuke confronted even more truths. Learned even more about the futility of his previous plans, as he spoke to both his brother, and the prior Hokage.

Could nothing be simple?

Even his ultimate plan - to clean the slates of the old ways, and bring the shadows of the shinobi world to light - was stopped in its tracks.

By none other than Naruto.

How nauseatingly typical.

Of course, by now, he’s come to terms with that...interruption. But at the time, his rage, his disappointment, his fervor to do something, anything, about a world that had led to so many wars, so many deaths, so many massacres, pushed him to the most radical of solutions.

But at least he’d tried to do something…!

How many others simply laid down and accepted such a world? A world where genin watched young and grown men throw their lives away as tools? Where children were burdened with beasts of unimaginable power...and treated like pariahs when they’d had no choice in such matters? Where an entire clan could be wiped off the map simply for demanding equal treatment beneath a rigged and biased system?

It, quite frankly, sickened him.

But, for a time...Sasuke grew tired. So, so tired. Finally he had the power to make such a change reality. Ten years after the loss of his clan, he was practically a god among shinobi. But his only equal dogged his every step. Tempered him, maybe...but also refused to see any path, any method, but his own.

So, Sasuke intended to leave. Clear his head. Try to figure out the true path to peace.

But, Life had other plans. Itachi was revived. Shisui revealed himself to be alive. His niece and nephew were sparks of potential for a new generation of Uchiha, half-blood or not.

Something new finally bloomed in him.

Hope.

He wasn’t alone…! He had not one, but two of his kin at his side. Suddenly the bleak future of solitude he’d accepted was no more.

...but what to do with that hope?

They started at the top. Oust the prior council. Unite the clans against the imbalance of power between the administration and their populations. Homura and Koharu were forced to step down, stripped of their powers. Never again would they incite violence against their own people. Itachi was pardoned to match his brother.

At last, the Uchiha were free…!

Of course...it wasn’t so simple. Legally they’d been reinstated. Socially? They were still outcasts. But Sasuke cared little about that. He had his family. He needed nothing else.

...well...almost nothing else.

Idling was, for him, an impossibility. Sit too long without an occupation, and he’d surely go mad. So, he started scavenging for something to do. At first he considered rejoining the shinobi ranks - his brother had done so, taking over the ANBU branch. Shisui took a job as a Hokage bodyguard. But what could he do…? Simply doing grunt shinobi work seemed...pointless. He was too strong to be wasted on petty missions. ANBU work was challenging, sure, but...not his style.

And then...it hit him.

He’d return to his roots. A job he’d daydreamed of holding when he was just a boy.

Sasuke decided to rebuild the police force.

Of course, he knew he couldn’t do so alone. Strong as he was, he was just one man. To patrol an entire village - meet all of its citizens’ needs - he’d never manage.

So, he turned to their allies.

Having offered a hand to the Uchiha early on in their return, the Hyūga were like a looming shadow behind them, daring anyone to bring trouble to their distant cousins. Sasuke, Itachi, and Shisui were mighty - among the mightiest. But they lacked numbers. And that was where the Hyūga came in.

Among them, Sasuke had been getting to know Hinata best. No longer heiress (and no longer seeking to be), she instead had been serving as a kind of diplomat between their clans. With a returned Neji acting as Hanabi’s advisor, she in turn was the bridge between the families.

Which was wise. She wasn’t stuffy or overbearing like Sasuke quickly learned the rest of the Hyūga were. She he could get along with.

Rather well, actually.

Which is why he brought his idea first to her.

Something had sparked in her eyes. An eagerness. Quickly agreeing, she helped organize and bring the idea before her father, sister, and cousin.

After brief deliberation, it was agreed. The Uchiha and Hyūga would unite to create a new police force. The eyes to watch over Konoha from within.

Just as Itachi watched beyond their wall.

To Sasuke’s honest surprise, Hinata was among the first to join. She admitted to a similar sensation: one of idleness and feeling useless. Diplomacy, yes, she was well-versed in...but it felt unsatisfying. Shinobi missions, too, were just not the same. Not enough. She agreed perfectly that helping Konoha from within would help strengthen it. Clear out bad will, keep order, help those that needed help when a shinobi wasn’t able.

Was it any wonder, then, that they became partners, soon leading the force together?

It was then, some time after their founding, that Sasuke felt...complete. Like he’d finally found his role. All of his efforts - all the years, the work, the pain - were finally bearing fruit. No longer did he feel like a failure, always one step behind.

No...now, he’d taken the reins of his own destiny. He would protect and shape Konoha from within to something bigger, better, than it was before. The shadows would be cleared under his watchful eyes.

And he wouldn’t do it alone.

In fact...he’d never have to do anything else alone ever again. He’d found and gathered his family...rebuilt the bonds with his friends...and found a quiet love in the last place he expected to find it.

The fruits of his labors were sweet, indeed.

     I'm...slightly early for once! Woohoo!      Another of my more...introspective pieces. Sometimes when a prompt feels a bit too...vague, I do pieces like this. Not based on a scene, or dialogue, but more on a recap of how that prompt overarches for a character. And...most of the time it's Sasuke, lol - I don't know why! In all honesty I relate to Hinata very closely, so...I don't know why I default to writing from Sasuke's POV more often. He's just easier for me to write. *shrugs*      ANYWHO, this is - obviously - about how Sasuke finally finds a place and a purpose post-war. ALAS has a LOT of canon divergence post-699 (as my regulars will know), and this sums up a few ways it's different. There's...a LOT more to it, like the main conflict of arc three (aka everything post-699), but...that's not the focus for tonight.      But, before I blabber on, I'll call it a night - I can finally get to bed early for once xD And as always, thank you for reading!

[pajamaplants]

Michael: 1, 3, 4, 7, 11, 12, 14, 16, 19. // Ian: 2, 16, 19. // Charley: 4, 5. // Dahlia: 10, 11. // Rosie: 1, 8. // Bia: 9 (specifically her interactions with Ian before vs. after their breakup). // This is a lot so you don't have to do long descriptions but yeah! Love you lots

sorry for the long post to everyone who isn’t anna, the only one who will know or care about any of these characters......... lol but anyway anna none of these are in the actual book 1 story, it’s all either prequel/flash backs or book 2 stuff (and also i skipped some prompts bc this is already a lot and i want your input, i craaaaave it, love you so much thank you for sending me these and kickstarting a writing mood <3)

Michael

1. Them as a child:

He’d had trouble falling asleep, and now the forest was on fire. Michael had only wanted to go back to the lake shore for a bit, and sit by the waves to settle his racing thoughts, but he’d gotten lost on his way there and wandered down a too dark trail. Narrow flashlight beam the only light a head of him, he prayed he was going the right direction back to his family’s campsite. It was dark and freezing and Michael’s eight year old limbs were getting sore, when suddenly he smelled the thick smoke of burning wood in the breeze. A campfire, he thought. Good, he must be getting close. But as Michael traveled closer a hazy fog surrounded him and the nearby trees, his flashlight beam illuminating the smoke. He saw light ahead, fire glowing through the trees, but no wait, this was much too much flame to be a campfire. Michael stopped walking and watched bright clumps of fire crackling in the underbrush. This is really bad, his tired mind registered. Nervously he tried to move down wind away from the fire, coughing as he went, but the fire grew faster than Michael could walk. He hurried through he underbrush now, chest feeling heavy and head dizzy from inhaling smoke. Suddenly Michael had run himself into a rocky cliff face, the fire sparkling dangerously at his back. What do I do? he panicked. I don’t want to die, please. Michael moved around the rocks until he saw a natural crevice traveling back into the earth. Was that a cave? Fire could burn wood, he reasoned. But probably not stone. He crawled in between the rocks, shining his flashlight as he entered to check it was uninhabited, and saw it went back a few feet. The air in here was clear of smoke and much easier to breathe. Crouching in a small cave wasn’t ideal, but it was better than burning to death. Outside Michael saw the wildfire grow in intensity slowly. As it crawled along bark and dry leaves, a soothing crackling noise came from the charred forest. Tucked safely in his cave, Michael watched, cinders in the air reflecting on spellbound eyes. The blaze passed him by and devoured entire trees, cracking apart branches. Somehow now Michael felt less afraid; the air was warm, the fire’s glow bathing the opening of the cave in a lulling orange gleam. Eventually, Michael fell asleep lying curled in place on the rocks, the wildfire’s presence helping him find sleep better in a cave than back in a sleeping bag in a dark tent. In the morning he awoke, crawled out into the ashy remains damp with smoke, and traveled by the morning light through the destroyed forest until he found a path back to his family.

3. Their parent(s) (ok listen, this post is long enough, i going to just split all the ones i didn’t do here in another part 2 post later okay? so i’ll do this one later)

4. Their laugh: (and i’ll do this one later )

7. Their interactions with their pets, if they have them:

Every night his cat played a game with Josh, a one in which Josh always ended up losing as yet again Cannelle settled innocently on Josh’s chest or kneaded her way to resting on his legs and he felt too bad to disturb her. “Well, once she’s comfortable, what am I supposed to do?” Josh told him once. Now in bed trying to fall asleep, Michael rolled over, and with a lurch his heart beat rose sharply in distress, realizing there was his cat, lying in the same space as his space. The left side of the bed, that had once been Josh’s. The left side that Michael still some how always managed to sleep to the right of, despite the bed being his alone now. Michael pulled his blankets up. “Cannelle, c’mere, c’mon girl.” he called. He’s not there, I’m so sorry, and you can’t understand why, I’m sorry. He apologized silently to the cat. She blinked her brown eyes, then rose, tail in the air, and settled down under the tent of the comforter Michael kept open for her. He stoked her fur for something, anything, to latch on to other than the buzzing ache that settled into his muscles. The first week is the hardest, he’d been told. That’s a lie, he thought. It doesn’t really get easier. Michael counted her exhales, inhales, exhale, inhale, exhales; until his eyes finally closed and he slept.

11. Their interactions with a stranger (feel free to say who the stranger might be! wink wink):

Michael stepped casually from the elevator, fidgeting hand needing to readjust the fake access badge clipped to his chest. Bia gave it to him, had it forged for him to blend in better, and Michael appreciated the way eyes never stayed on him long. Down the hospital’s long corridor of drywall-white patient rooms he stopped when he found the one he sought, slipping inside. Michael had read this man’s profile. Daniel Keaton, 25, paralyzed from the waist down, the loss of total lower motor control result of a nasty accident. Bia gave him information on a couple of her patients that were in conditions no amount of surgery would help. Understand me, she had said, when she handed him the ID. I’m not letting you do my job for me, since I am more than capable. But not everything has a cure. The man in the bed looked away from a bland television program, saw the hospital staff badge, brown leather jacket, and the lack of any hospital scrubs and asked, “Hi, are you my new counselor? I don’t feel like talking, sorry.” “No, I’m a... physical therapist.” “I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re kinda useless at this point. Maybe you’re in the wrong room but I’m past the point of ever using my legs again, the doctors already told me.” ”I know. There’s a method that might bring you some relief, at least. Will you let me try?” “Knock yourself out.” Daniel sighed, closing his downbeat eyes in resignation. Michael carefully helped Daniel into a seated position in the hospital bed and proceeded to gently knead over the dead spinal nerves of his lower back. The accustomed electric warmth pulsed through Michael’s core, seeping up from his bones into the tissue, a faint glow emanating from the flat pressed palms on Daniel’s back. “Wait,” Daniel said suddenly, registering the strange sensation. “What are you doing?” “Don’t worry,” Michael assured. “It’s safe. This will help.” Daniel looked over his shoulder at Michael, slack jawed. “But... I shouldn’t be able to... why can I feel my legs?” Michael sensed his repair work was finished. He backed up a few steps. “Stand up.” “I can’t.” Daniel helplessly shook his head. “Can’t you?” Michael raised an eyebrow. Hesitantly, Daniel pulled his knees up and then gasped. He swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, devolving into startled tears as he did so. “I-I don’t understand. How? What are you?” “Just a man trying to help.” “What’s your name?” Michael held a finger to his lips. “Lie back in bed, Daniel. When asked, say it was a miracle recovery. You never saw me. Take care.” Before speechless Daniel could utter a question or thank you, Michael left the hospital room.

12. Them in their favorite outfit (i’ll do this one later)

14. Them in an uncomfortable outfit (i’ll do this one later)

16. Them sleepy (i’ll do this one later)

19. Them drunk:

One moment Michael was hiking side by side with Josh on the edge of a hilly forest trail, drunkenly laughing at something, but what he couldn’t remember, Josh had said something funny— when a pile of trail rocks under his feet slid loose and the world hitched violently sideways and down. As if his coordination wasn’t impaired enough by his boozy afternoon at their secluded campsite, all he saw as he tumbled down the leafy slope was green and browns, no sense of up or down. He yelped rolling on his back until he landed face first on something sharp in the creek bed that scorched his lips and face with pain. His hands clamped to his face in shock. Josh shouted something indistinguishably after him, clambering down the side of the ravine a lot more gracefully to the stony creek shore below. Michael covered his left cheek with a large hand, palm pressed to his mouth, and when Josh reached him and moved his hand to see, it came away red. “Tabernac, tabernac, tabernac, Josh cursed under his breath, quickly shedding his coat, stripping away his own t-shirt, and folding it over as a makeshift bandage to the jagged diagonal cut on Michael’s face. Tears welled in Michael’s eyes but Josh was quicker, wiping away the wetness and applying pressure to his stinging split lip. “Look, it was this broken glass right here you fell on. What the fuck is that, someone’s beer bottle?” “Fuckin’ bottle, why’s that there? ‘S not the brand you drink.” “Don’t speak Michel, god you’re sure bleeding a lot,” He paused. “I think we need to go to a hospital.” Michael was preoccupied with the trail of blonde hair traveling up Josh’s naval. He reached out and smoothed his thumb and forefinger down Josh’s naked chest. “You look... good like this.” “Ce n'est pas le moment pour ça!” his boyfriend chided. “Tabernac, you’re lucky that wasn’t your eyes!” “But...” It wasn’t supposed to go like this, they were supposed to be at camp tonight, where Josh would eat those cheap grocery store cherry danishes he liked while Michael would build a good fire for their dinner. Josh gently stood up. “No buts. I know you’re hammered but get up please, you gotta get stitches, there’s no way you couldn’t with a cut that deep,” Michael held Josh’s shirt in place over his copper-tasting mouth and Josh helped him to his feet. “Might even have a scar.” he continued. “Would you, y’still love me if I did?” “Obviously, now c’mon cher, we’ll go back and pack our things and take my bike into Fredericton.”

Ian

2. Them several years past their main adventure: (not gonna do years later, just making this book 2 Ian lmao)

Ian traced wandering lines in his sketchbook, taking his restless energy and channeling it into activity, distraction; one of the little tricks gained in the rehab center. Sobriety had been a bitch to learn, and often Ian flexed a muscle of self control he’s carefully crafted to hold him steady. Temptation tickled the back of his neck in his most stressful moments, and the times Michael left him alone for too long. And Michael, the man who took him to rehab, who brought art supplies to his room at the clinic For something nice to do, he had said. Ian had never loved a set of pencils so dearly. Michael had visited daily, talked with him about his therapy as he sat still in his chair and let Ian draw him. Ian never took Michael’s presence for granted, it was familiar and warm, a stark contrast to the first night they met. Time does strange things to people, Ian decided. But... Ian had to appreciate the change. Michael managed his medicines for him, took care of him with every meal he made for the two of them, and he made Ian laugh even in a dark moment of handling some sticky Orion business. Gradually he’d become his foothold in sobriety, his anchor point. His Michael. Ian shook the idea away. No, Michael’s not mine to have, Ian thought. Michael surely didn’t get the pesky flashes of impossible possibilities like the kind that plagued Ian’s headspace lately, of... more. He disdainfully flipped to a new page in his sketchbook, landed on a page of Michael sketches he’d drawn secretly and quickly ignored them by flipping to a fresh sheet. Ian settled back in his chair, and argued back and forth silently until he’d convinced himself Michael was his friend, his partner in literal crime, and that was enough. That had to be enough.

16. Them sleepy:

Michael returned home in the early morning, only to discover his bed was occupied. Ian was in boxers and nothing else, sound asleep. His partner’s limbs were bent up among his blankets, mouth puffing open slightly whenever he breathed out. Used to seeing Ian sleep in odd positions on the couch, Michael knew the way he tucked his arms under himself in his sleep. But it was strange to see him in here. How often did he come in here, even when Michael was awake? Michael stood silent by the bedside and watched Ian snooze peacefully, not wanting to wake him just yet. Did he miss me? This time, instead of dismissing it immediately, Michael let this thought settle. Michael imagined the way Ian must’ve been up waiting for him, maybe even worrying about him, before coming to open his bedroom door. Michael How Ian must have settled his head, nose against the pillow, and arranged the comforter Michael slept with over himself. And then his hand slipped, drifted downward, sinking down into Ian’s hair. Soft and thicker than he imagined, he combed through the wisps of black lightly enough to not disturb him. Missed you, came a hushed sentiment in his mind. Michael swept the bangs that fell messily over Ian’s forehead when his hand grazed across Ian’s temple. There had been times Michael touched Ian before; when injured pieces were in play and Michael stitched up the wounds. The burst of warmth when fingertips brushed Ian’s skin took him by surprise. Ian stirred from this touch however, and Michael’s hand flew to his side. Extending his arms, green swatches fluttered open; Ian stretched his legs and flopped his head on the pillow. “Hi, you’re back,” he mumbled, words languid like the hand that rubbed at his eye, then curled loosely on the sheets. “Hi,” Michael replied, the way Ian looked up at him striking some tender feeling in his throat. “What are you doing in here?” Starting to understand his indications, Michael saw the light flush of embarrassment rise as Ian rolled into sitting. “Did I fall asleep in here? Sorry man, my mistake. Been pretty tired lately,” he explained, kicking away the sheets and getting clumsily out of Michael’s bed. “I had all the lights off and must’ve walked in here instead of my room. Didn’t think twice, my head just hit a pillow.” “S’alright. You looked comfortable.” Michael smoothed his hand over the blanket and Ian’s eyes followed it. “... I was.” Ian shrugged before sheepishly fleeing the room for his own bed.

19. Them drunk:

“Hey, buddy.” A firm hand nudged Ian's shoulder. “Buddy.” The faint sounds of a bar swam to his ears; the clink of glasses against wood, quiet voices agreeing to go home, chairs scraping and the drone of a late night talk show host floating somewhere above him. “C’mon Ian, you need to get out of here.” With a soft sigh that left his chest slowly, he knew where he was. He sat on a stool in his favorite local dive, his body glued to the counter in his usual spot. Graham the bartender, to his credit, waited a full minute before poking Ian in the shoulder. “Mm, can I get one to go?” Ian’s voice came muffled from the crook of his arm. The sticky countertop was a comfortable place to lay his head and he liked the support it gave his loose limbs which currently felt curled up on each other. “No,” the barkeep responded firmly. “And you’re not staying the night… I’ll call you a cab.” Ian’s head popped off the counter, fingers clinging to the glass in his hand. “Don’t have to.” Ian stood, waiting for the lightheaded rush that made his knees wobble to pass before knocking back the dregs of his screwdriver and slipping a few crumpled bills under his glass. “Someone’s coming to get you?” Graham asked. Ian basked in the heat lingering in his throat, he swallowed. “H’yeah, sure.” He waved off the question with a flip of his hand and ambled outside.

Charley

4. Their laugh:

Samuel pulled through the discount rack, casting coat hanger after coat hanger aside flippantly and frowning. “Why’s this all ugly?” she lamented. Charley shrugged, back against the wall, eyes trained on the crummy mall clothes outlet across the way from the display window of theirs.  They did this as part of their job sometimes, building profiles. It helped understand daily routines a target had and was the best way to learn potential vulnerabilities. “Oh, now this is good,” Samuel piped up. “I should get these Dahlia for her next birthday.” Charley turned and saw her considering a set of women’s pajamas, with blue penguins printed on the pants and another pudgy penguin on the shirt with a speech bubble saying ‘Out Cold’. Charley took one look at the pajamas and burst out laughing. “Are you fuckin’ kidding?” he snickered, gesturing. “These? With these cute little bastards on them? Are we thinking of the same woman?” He deemed Dahlia maybe a little too serious and brooding.  “She could use these, I hate seeing her going to sleep in just whatever outfit she’s got on. She actually would like something goofy like this, she just doesn’t say so.” Samuel held the shirt and flipped flopped the long fleecey sleeve, before then using it to wave to Charley. He chuckled and checked his watch. “You’d know better than anybody, I suppose.” “There’s a lot of things about Dahlia you don’t know.” “Really?” Charley asked interested, hands busy tying long black dreads into a bun at his neck. “Care to share with the class?” Samuel shook her head. “I don’t betray her trust like I promised I wouldn’t betray yours.” Aside from the very first time, he thought. Samuel hadn’t broken her promise to him since. “I respect that,” Charley rolled his shoulders and glanced over into the clothing store opposite the one they stood in. An unassuming young man with green sneakers had just entered it.“Spotted him. Do your thing.” he said to his partner. The two watched him moving around the counter of the neighboring store. “He’s late for work,” Samuel said. “That’s why he’s rushing. He’s nervous his manager might be annoyed with him... here she comes. And he’s very attracted to his boss, he’s thinking about her...” her nose crinkled. “I’m not relaying that.” Samuel watched the manager cross her arms as the man blabbered on. “She thinks he’s nothing but a tiny-dicked idiot. Got him.” she concluded and Charley laughed again.  

5. Their crying:

Charley sat across from his partner Samuel at a cafe table in Ireland. His panic had brought them far across the ocean, further than he meant to travel but Charley chalked it up to stress and a need to just run. Their mission to hunt a certain target ended successfully with the target’s death, but included the death of an innocent bystander. Just thinking about it made Charley’s guts coil. He fucked up bad this time, he lost control and a man lost his life because of the mishap. “You’re still learning control over your power, you did not abuse it, the reins slipped from your hands. An accident, Charley. That’s all it was.” He wiped a stubborn tear from the crease of his eye. Samuel’s brow furrowed. “You don’t need to be brave in front of me,” she murmured, reading the shame and denial of his emotions from his mind. “I’m not like him.” Charley blinked his chestnut eyes, the sour rise that made his nose tingle bringing more tears as he thought of the man who had turned him this way. His partner saw through him like tissue paper, and she saw the replaying memories; the way his face had looked, the reason he hated to let anyone see him cry, and the way that the innocent man had been knocked below to his death. He reached for her ivory hand and she took it supportively, politely looking to the far end of the cafe while Charley mopped his brow with a cloth napkin, the older man’s torso shaking with low rumbles and sniffs. A couple other lunch goers nearby looked in their direction a few times, but left them undisturbed. “... We need to see Meissa.” Samuel said finally. Charley wiped his eyes once more looked morosely at his untouched scone. “What do I tell her?” “The truth.” she suggested, wrapping her coat a little closer to her. “I’ll vouch for you, I saw them both die. The other man was not supposed to be there. It’s unfortunate, yes, but we live in the present and must go on.” Charley thought that seemed a bit harsh. “It’s survival,” Samuel added gently. “You had to change to survive and here you sit. I survived the bear trap of my childhood and here I sit. This doesn’t end here,” She retrieved her wallet and left some money on the table. “Ready? We’ll make it through this too.” Charley nodded, took a deep slow breath to collect himself. Then Samuel placed her hands in his on the table and the two vanished from their seats.

Dahlia

10. Their interactions with an enemy/rival

Dahlia kept certain rooms in her house well furnished and comfortable, and others purposefully devoid of distractions. She was leaning against her desk in such a room now, desk and a single bookshelf holding some of her dream journals the only objects beside bare floor and walls, with of course, the projection system. Projected on the walls all around her was a calming cloudy ocean scene with the horizon stretched before her. She lit a cigarette, smoke curling bright in the projection light. She glanced at her watch. The chair and the man tied to it materialized a half second later. Dahlia didn’t bat an eye. Charley stood behind the chair, palms flat on the grizzled older man’s shoulders. “I appreciate the trouble,” said Dahlia. “I know you could’ve handled him alone.” “No trouble, and thank Sammy, she lured his greasy ass into the motel room. In fact, thank her yourself.” He disappeared and within five seconds he reappeared, this time hand in hand with Samuel. Her peacock blue heels clicked on the hardwood as she moved concentric circles around the man in the chair. “Still out cold, I’m impressed Charley-boy.” “Pleasure, I’ve been practicing my right hook. It’s nice to test it out on this freak. A five year old kid, that’s sick.” he shook his head. ”Good work both of you,” Dahlia hummed approvingly. “Now we wait.” “Mind if I bounce?” Charley asked. “Gotta teach my class in an hour.” “Go right ahead. Just be back here after for disposal.” Charley nodded and vanished. Dahlia coolly regarded the unconscious man, puffing on her cigarette, lost in thought. Samuel silently watched Dahlia thinking. Samuel became a usual presence to Dahlia in this way, like a friend sitting beside her on a windowsill, simultaneously looking out the same window as herself, seeing the same vivid world outside. At last, the large man stirred, opened his bleary eyes. “The hell?” he groaned, then his eyes fell on Dahlia, then Samuel. “Who are you people? Where the fuck did you take me, you pasty bitch?” Dahlia didn’t waste time. “Mr. Clark, you don’t know me and I certainly don’t care to know you, but I do know what you did to the five year old son of your next door neighbors.” The man tried to wiggle out of his restraints. “You’re crazy, I don’t know what you’re talking about, let me fucking go!” “Take a look around Mr. Clark, this is the last room you’ll ever see.” “What?” he froze mid struggle and stared at Dahlia, who tapped her cigarette calmly in a porcelain teacup on the table. He looked to Samuel whose pallid eyes pierced daggers in his direction. “You’re not serious... I’m not scared of some dumb bitches.” “He’s lying.” Samuel contributed. “Choosing to pursue that particular disgusting fantasy of yours was the wrong choice.” Dahlia said, then extended her arm into the blue projection light and Samuel handed her a bottle of liquor from a shelf. Dahlia uncapped it and poured amber liquid into a large glass. “What are you doing?” Mr. Clark clamored as Dahlia approached him with the glass. “I swear I didn’t do it! I never touched the boy!” “It’s tacky to lie,” Samuel commented, watching as the man squirmed in place. Dahlia grabbed him by the hair, yanked his jaw up in the air, and poured the cup down his throat. The liquid spilled over the mans chin and down his shirt as he spluttered and fought, but Dahlia made sure some went down his throat. “How does it feel to be robbed of your agency?” Dahlia asked, stepping back. “I want you to meditate on that while the darkness comes. To feel like– what was his name?” she asked the man. “Evan Watson.” Samuel supplied when the man kept quiet. “Yes, like Evan when you raped him.” The man coughed out a sting of curses at Samuel and Dahlia, but the words quickly subsided until both the room and the man were still. Dahlia shuddered and turned away. “You know I like to stay distant and trust you and Charley and the others to handle this part,” she said to Samuel. “But I hated the dreams I saw. The ones with kids are the worst.” “You don’t need to explain to me, I’ve seen the way it hurts.” “Right.” Her friend’s view into her mind let Samuel understand best, but that didn’t stop Dahlia from wanting to explain things to her anyway. I appreciate you Sam, she thought. In all the ways you help me stop these people. I’d be lost without you. Samuel smiled her pearly teeth at Dahlia and Dahlia wished then that she could also see into Samuel’s innermost thoughts.

11. Their interactions with a stranger (feel free to say who the stranger might be! wink wink)

Dahlia was an early riser, and like clockwork every morning she went to her chair on the front porch and smoked under the morning sun. But this spring morning she waited to receive her brother visiting for Passover, and this morning’s cigarette was interrupted by the arrival of Michael and his boyfriend Josh with suitcases in tow. She ran down the steps to hug her brother, and then shook Josh’s hand, thinking he somehow wasn’t what she was expecting. Not that she had any big expectations but she wanted only the best for her brother. She thought he was ordinary but handsome, with a wide friendly smile, crooked at the edges. He looked eager but nervous as Dahlia introduced herself. “So you’re the mysterious Canadian man my brother’s been dating huh? Good to finally meet you. I hope you’ve been keeping him out of trouble.” Josh laughed, a bright pleasant sound. “I’m studying criminal justice actually, if anyone will be keeping him on the straight and narrow it’s me.” His accent was noticeable and musical, and Dahlia saw Michael’s eyes shining as he glanced over at Josh. Her brother looked proud and happy she realized, happier and younger looking than when she’d last seen him. “Good, well we have some lovely matzo brei mom made on the stove, you’re welcome to it for breakfast.” “Thank god, I’m starving,” said Josh. “We left too early to have breakfast and nothing at the airport sounded good.” Josh left to go bring their luggage inside, and Michael stayed out on the porch with his sister. “I’ve got a good feeling about this one.” Dahlia remarked. “What makes you say that?” Michael wondered. Dahlia offered him her cigarette and he took it. “You’ve got a love glow about you.” “I do not have a ‘love glow’,” he grumbled, blowing smoke through his nose. She laughed and took the cigarette back. “No, but seriously, you look really happy with him, not like with anyone else before. Seems like the real deal.” “Maybe. I hope so. I want mom and dad to like him.” He’s serious with this guy, Dahlia mused. Her brother caring about his parents opinions? That was a first. “I’m happy you’re home, Mike. And I wouldn’t worry about what mom thinks at least,” she said, peering into the doorway. “Look at her, she’s already fussing over him in there getting him enough on his plate.” Michael chuckled. “Better get in there and rescue him before he’s overfed.”

Rosie

1. Them as a child (i’ll do this one later)

8. Their interactions with their significant other(s), if they have them (the significant other is outta the picture, so you get Rosie and her daughter instead)

Bia clinked her raspberry gin lemonade against her mother’s glass. They sat in a private VIP room at the King’s Throne, celebrating Bia’s acceptance into one of the top medical schools in the country. Rosanne frequented this particular night club for abundance of potential customers and good relations with the owner. They were on their second round of drinks. “To the start of your career! This is all for you sweetie, enjoy yourself.” Rosanne toasted her glass and took a long sip. Bia followed suit. “Honey, I want you to know I’m proud of you.” “Thanks mom.” “I’ve been proud since the first time I held you crying in my arms.” Maybe it was the alcohol, but Bia felt a lump rise in her throat. "Even if... I turned out differently than you expected?” Rosanne set down her amaretto sour. “You’ve surprised me a lot as you’ve grown,” she started. “But never negatively. Never wanted you to work in my trade, and you surprised me by never wanting to follow in my footsteps, by picking medical school and gettin’ accepted. I’ve watched a little boy grow into a wonderful, resourceful, fucking intelligent, brave and beautiful woman. Nothing could make me prouder.” Happy tears dripped down over Bia’s expensive make up but she didn’t care. Her mother pulled her into a hug and Bia let her mascara disintegrate.

Bia

9. Their interactions with their best friend

“Your quiet magical friend told me you were here in rehab. I’m really proud of you for being here Ian.” Bia sat beside him on the edge of his bed in his room at the inpatient rehab center. She looked much healthier now, but a different version of the woman he’d known once, before Phil Lancaster had ever touched her. “Thank you Bia, and you haven’t told anyone else about what Michael can do, have you?” “No, you made me swear.” “Okay, cool.” “But listen I... I’m not the reason you’re in here now, am I?” “What do you mean?” Bia shifted her shoes on the carpet and smoothed her hair. “Well, you and me were trying different shit a lot when we were together and I’d feel terrible if I–” “No,” Ian interrupted. “Trust me, you’re not the reason I’m here. I was an addict before I met you.” Bia sighed, still looking concerned. “Okay, just wanted to apologize for ever turning you onto it.” His time dating her had been comfortable and some brief, needed stability. They spent it trying drugs and having sex, but Ian’s favorite memories had been the late hours of the night when they lay beside each other and she shared stories; these including tales of her life as a surgeon and her wild experience of growing up with a drug mogul mother like Rosanne Madaki. “I’m the one couldn’t stop Bia, and you never forced me. You were one of the few things keeping my head above the water. Taking Xanax was my own choice and so is quitting it.” She smiled meekly. “That’s the spirit.” “So, how have you been recently?” “In constant therapy for... y’know, what he did. There’s no better relief than waking up in my mother’s house and remembering he’s dead and will never be anything but dead. Mom’s barely let me out of her sight, and when she does she has one of her bodyguards tail me around, she thinks I don’t notice.” “She loves you.” “I know, she just blames herself for everything still.” “We’ve all got our struggles,” Ian said patting her arm. “We’ll try and get better together, okay?” Bia nodded and smiled at him. “I’d like that.”

sorry for the long post to everyone who isn’t anna, the only one who will know or care about any of these characters……… lol but anyway anna none of these are in the actual book 1 story, it’s all either prequel/flash backs or book 2 stuff (and also i skipped some prompts bc this is already a lot and i want your input, i craaaaave it, love you so much thank you for sending me these and kickstarting a writing mood <3)

Michael

1. Them as a child:

He’d had trouble falling asleep, and now the forest was on fire. Michael had only wanted to go back to the lake shore for a bit, and sit by the waves to settle his racing thoughts, but he’d gotten lost on his way there and wandered down a too dark trail. Narrow flashlight beam the only light a head of him, he prayed he was going the right direction back to his family’s campsite. It was dark and freezing and Michael’s eight year old limbs were getting sore, when suddenly he smelled the thick smoke of burning wood in the breeze. A campfire, he thought. Good, he must be getting close. But as Michael traveled closer a hazy fog surrounded him and the nearby trees, his flashlight beam illuminating the smoke. He saw light ahead, fire glowing through the trees, but no wait, this was much too much flame to be a campfire. Michael stopped walking and watched bright clumps of fire crackling in the underbrush. This is really bad, his tired mind registered. Nervously he tried to move down wind away from the fire, coughing as he went, but the fire grew faster than Michael could walk. He hurried through he underbrush now, chest feeling heavy and head dizzy from inhaling smoke. Suddenly Michael had run himself into a rocky cliff face, the fire sparkling dangerously at his back. What do I do? he panicked. I don’t want to die, please. Michael moved around the rocks until he saw a natural crevice traveling back into the earth. Was that a cave? Fire could burn wood, he reasoned. But probably not stone. He crawled in between the rocks, shining his flashlight as he entered to check it was uninhabited, and saw it went back a few feet. The air in here was clear of smoke and much easier to breathe. Crouching in a small cave wasn’t ideal, but it was better than burning to death. Outside Michael saw the wildfire grow in intensity slowly. As it crawled along bark and dry leaves, a soothing crackling noise came from the charred forest. Tucked safely in his cave, Michael watched, cinders in the air reflecting on spellbound eyes. The blaze passed him by and devoured entire trees, cracking apart branches. Somehow now Michael felt less afraid; the air was warm, the fire’s glow bathing the opening of the cave in a lulling orange gleam. Eventually, Michael fell asleep lying curled in place on the rocks, the wildfire’s presence helping him find sleep better in a cave than back in a sleeping bag in a dark tent. In the morning he awoke, crawled out into the ashy remains damp with smoke, and traveled by the morning light through the destroyed forest until he found a path back to his family.

3. Their parent(s) (ok listen, this post is long enough, i going to just split all the ones i didn’t do here in another part 2 post later okay? so i’ll do this one later)

4. Their laugh: (and i’ll do this one later )

7. Their interactions with their pets, if they have them:

Every night his cat played a game with Josh, a one in which Josh always ended up losing as yet again Cannelle settled innocently on Josh’s chest or kneaded her way to resting on his legs and he felt too bad to disturb her. “Well, once she’s comfortable, what am I supposed to do?” Josh told him once. Now in bed trying to fall asleep, Michael rolled over, and with a lurch his heart beat rose sharply in distress, realizing there was his cat, lying in the same space as his space. The left side of the bed, that had once been Josh’s. The left side that Michael still some how always managed to sleep to the right of, despite the bed being his alone now. Michael pulled his blankets up. “Cannelle, c’mere, c’mon girl.” he called. He’s not there, I’m so sorry, and you can’t understand why, I’m sorry. He apologized silently to the cat. She blinked her brown eyes, then rose, tail in the air, and settled down under the tent of the comforter Michael kept open for her. He stoked her fur for something, anything, to latch on to other than the buzzing ache that settled into his muscles. The first week is the hardest, he’d been told. That’s a lie, he thought. It doesn’t really get easier. Michael counted her exhales, inhales, exhale, inhale, exhales; until his eyes finally closed and he slept.

11. Their interactions with a stranger (feel free to say who the stranger might be! wink wink):

Michael stepped casually from the elevator, fidgeting hand needing to readjust the fake access badge clipped to his chest. Bia gave it to him, had it forged for him to blend in better, and Michael appreciated the way eyes never stayed on him long. Down the hospital’s long corridor of drywall-white patient rooms he stopped when he found the one he sought, slipping inside. Michael had read this man’s profile. Daniel Keaton, 25, paralyzed from the waist down, the loss of total lower motor control result of a nasty accident. Bia gave him information on a couple of her patients that were in conditions no amount of surgery would help. Understand me, she had said, when she handed him the ID. I’m not letting you do my job for me, since I am more than capable. But not everything has a cure. The man in the bed looked away from a bland television program, saw the hospital staff badge, brown leather jacket, and the lack of any hospital scrubs and asked, “Hi, are you my new counselor? I don’t feel like talking, sorry.” “No, I’m a… physical therapist.” “I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re kinda useless at this point. Maybe you’re in the wrong room but I’m past the point of ever using my legs again, the doctors already told me.” ”I know. There’s a method that might bring you some relief, at least. Will you let me try?” “Knock yourself out.” Daniel sighed, closing his downbeat eyes in resignation. Michael carefully helped Daniel into a seated position in the hospital bed and proceeded to gently knead over the dead spinal nerves of his lower back. The accustomed electric warmth pulsed through Michael’s core, seeping up from his bones into the tissue, a faint glow emanating from the flat pressed palms on Daniel’s back. “Wait,” Daniel said suddenly, registering the strange sensation. “What are you doing?” “Don’t worry,” Michael assured. “It’s safe. This will help.” Daniel looked over his shoulder at Michael, slack jawed. “But… I shouldn’t be able to… why can I feel my legs?” Michael sensed his repair work was finished. He backed up a few steps. “Stand up.” “I can’t.” Daniel helplessly shook his head. “Can’t you?” Michael raised an eyebrow. Hesitantly, Daniel pulled his knees up and then gasped. He swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, devolving into startled tears as he did so. “I-I don’t understand. How? What are you?” “Just a man trying to help.” “What’s your name?” Michael held a finger to his lips. “Lie back in bed, Daniel. When asked, say it was a miracle recovery. You never saw me. Take care.” Before speechless Daniel could utter a question or thank you, Michael left the hospital room.

12. Them in their favorite outfit (i’ll do this one later)

14. Them in an uncomfortable outfit (i’ll do this one later)

16. Them sleepy (i’ll do this one later)

19. Them drunk:

One moment Michael was hiking side by side with Josh on the edge of a hilly forest trail, drunkenly laughing at something, but what he couldn’t remember, Josh had said something funny— when a pile of trail rocks under his feet slid loose and the world hitched violently sideways and down. As if his coordination wasn’t impaired enough by his boozy afternoon at their secluded campsite, all he saw as he tumbled down the leafy slope was green and browns, no sense of up or down. He yelped rolling on his back until he landed face first on something sharp in the creek bed that scorched his lips and face with pain. His hands clamped to his face in shock. Josh shouted something indistinguishably after him, clambering down the side of the ravine a lot more gracefully to the stony creek shore below. Michael covered his left cheek with a large hand, palm pressed to his mouth, and when Josh reached him and moved his hand to see, it came away red. “Tabernac, tabernac, tabernac,” Josh cursed under his breath, quickly shedding his coat, stripping away his own t-shirt, and folding it over as a makeshift bandage to the jagged diagonal cut on Michael’s face. Tears welled in Michael’s eyes but Josh was quicker, wiping away the wetness and applying pressure to his stinging split lip. “Look, it was this broken glass right here you fell on. What the fuck is that, someone’s beer bottle?” “Fuckin’ bottle, why’s that there? ‘S not the brand you drink.” “Don’t speak Michel, god you’re sure bleeding a lot,” He paused. “I think we need to go to a hospital.” Michael was preoccupied with the trail of blonde hair traveling up Josh’s naval. He reached out and smoothed his thumb and forefinger down Josh’s naked chest. “You look… good like this.” “Ce n'est pas le moment pour ça!” his boyfriend chided. “Tabernac, you’re lucky that wasn’t your eyes!” “But…” It wasn’t supposed to go like this, they were supposed to be at camp tonight, where Josh would eat those cheap grocery store cherry danishes he liked while Michael would build a good fire for their dinner. Josh gently stood up. “No buts. I know you’re hammered but get up please, you gotta get stitches, there’s no way you couldn’t with a cut that deep,” Michael held Josh’s shirt in place over his copper-tasting mouth and Josh helped him to his feet. “Might even have a scar.” he continued. “Would you, y’still love me if I did?” “Obviously, now c’mon cher, we’ll go back and pack our things and take my bike into Fredericton.”

Ian

2. Them several years past their main adventure: (not gonna do years later, just making this book 2 Ian lmao)

Ian traced wandering lines in his sketchbook, taking his restless energy and channeling it into activity, distraction; one of the little tricks gained in the rehab center. Sobriety had been a bitch to learn, and often Ian flexed a muscle of self control he’s carefully crafted to hold him steady. Temptation tickled the back of his neck in his most stressful moments, and the times Michael left him alone for too long. And Michael, the man who took him to rehab, who brought art supplies to his room at the clinic For something nice to do, he had said. Ian had never loved a set of pencils so dearly. Michael had visited daily, talked with him about his therapy as he sat still in his chair and let Ian draw him. Ian never took Michael’s presence for granted, it was familiar and warm, a stark contrast to the first night they met. Time does strange things to people, Ian decided. But… Ian had to appreciate the change. Michael managed his medicines for him, took care of him with every meal he made for the two of them, and he made Ian laugh even in a dark moment of handling some sticky Orion business. Gradually he’d become his foothold in sobriety, his anchor point. His Michael. Ian shook the idea away. No, Michael’s not mine to have, Ian thought. Michael surely didn’t get the pesky flashes of impossible possibilities like the kind that plagued Ian’s headspace lately, of… more. He disdainfully flipped to a new page in his sketchbook, landed on a page of Michael sketches he’d drawn secretly and quickly ignored them by flipping to a fresh sheet. Ian settled back in his chair, and argued back and forth silently until he’d convinced himself Michael was his friend, his partner in literal crime, and that was enough. That had to be enough.

16. Them sleepy:

Michael returned home in the early morning, only to discover his bed was occupied. Ian was in boxers and nothing else, sound asleep. His partner’s limbs were bent up among his blankets, mouth puffing open slightly whenever he breathed out. Used to seeing Ian sleep in odd positions on the couch, Michael knew the way he tucked his arms under himself in his sleep. But it was strange to see him in here. How often did he come in here, even when Michael was awake? Michael stood silent by the bedside and watched Ian snooze peacefully, not wanting to wake him just yet. Did he miss me? This time, instead of dismissing it immediately, Michael let this thought settle. Michael imagined the way Ian must’ve been up waiting for him, maybe even worrying about him, before coming to open his bedroom door. Michael How Ian must have settled his head, nose against the pillow, and arranged the comforter Michael slept with over himself. And then his hand slipped, drifted downward, sinking down into Ian’s hair. Soft and thicker than he imagined, he combed through the wisps of black lightly enough to not disturb him. Missed you, came a hushed sentiment in his mind. Michael swept the bangs that fell messily over Ian’s forehead when his hand grazed across Ian’s temple. There had been times Michael touched Ian before; when injured pieces were in play and Michael stitched up the wounds. The burst of warmth when fingertips brushed Ian’s skin took him by surprise. Ian stirred from this touch however, and Michael’s hand flew to his side. Extending his arms, green swatches fluttered open; Ian stretched his legs and flopped his head on the pillow. “Hi, you’re back,” he mumbled, words languid like the hand that rubbed at his eye, then curled loosely on the sheets. “Hi,” Michael replied, the way Ian looked up at him striking some tender feeling in his throat. “What are you doing in here?” Starting to understand his indications, Michael saw the light flush of embarrassment rise as Ian rolled into sitting. “Did I fall asleep in here? Sorry man, my mistake. Been pretty tired lately,” he explained, kicking away the sheets and getting clumsily out of Michael’s bed. “I had all the lights off and must’ve walked in here instead of my room. Didn’t think twice, my head just hit a pillow.” “S’alright. You looked comfortable.” Michael smoothed his hand over the blanket and Ian’s eyes followed it. “… I was.” Ian shrugged before sheepishly fleeing the room for his own bed.

19. Them drunk:

“Hey, buddy.” A firm hand nudged Ian’s shoulder. “Buddy.” The faint sounds of a bar swam to his ears; the clink of glasses against wood, quiet voices agreeing to go home, chairs scraping and the drone of a late night talk show host floating somewhere above him. “C’mon Ian, you need to get out of here.” With a soft sigh that left his chest slowly, he knew where he was. He sat on a stool in his favorite local dive, his body glued to the counter in his usual spot. Graham the bartender, to his credit, waited a full minute before poking Ian in the shoulder. “Mm, can I get one to go?” Ian’s voice came muffled from the crook of his arm. The sticky countertop was a comfortable place to lay his head and he liked the support it gave his loose limbs which currently felt curled up on each other. “No,” the barkeep responded firmly. “And you’re not staying the night… I’ll call you a cab.” Ian’s head popped off the counter, fingers clinging to the glass in his hand. “Don’t have to.” Ian stood, waiting for the lightheaded rush that made his knees wobble to pass before knocking back the dregs of his screwdriver and slipping a few crumpled bills under his glass. “Someone’s coming to get you?” Graham asked. Ian basked in the heat lingering in his throat, he swallowed. “H’yeah, sure.” He waved off the question with a flip of his hand and ambled outside.

Charley

4. Their laugh:

Samuel pulled through the discount rack, casting coat hanger after coat hanger aside flippantly and frowning. “Why’s this all ugly?” she lamented. Charley shrugged, back against the wall, eyes trained on the crummy mall clothes outlet across the way from the display window of theirs.  They did this as part of their job sometimes, building profiles. It helped understand daily routines a target had and was the best way to learn potential vulnerabilities. “Oh, now this is good,” Samuel piped up. “I should get these Dahlia for her next birthday.” Charley turned and saw her considering a set of women’s pajamas, with blue penguins printed on the pants and another pudgy penguin on the shirt with a speech bubble saying ‘Out Cold’. Charley took one look at the pajamas and burst out laughing. “Are you fuckin’ kidding?” he snickered, gesturing. “These? With these cute little bastards on them? Are we thinking of the same woman?” He deemed Dahlia maybe a little too serious and brooding.  “She could use these, I hate seeing her going to sleep in just whatever outfit she’s got on. She actually would like something goofy like this, she just doesn’t say so.” Samuel held the shirt and flipped flopped the long fleecey sleeve, before then using it to wave to Charley. He chuckled and checked his watch. “You’d know better than anybody, I suppose.” “There’s a lot of things about Dahlia you don’t know.” “Really?” Charley asked interested, hands busy tying long black dreads into a bun at his neck. “Care to share with the class?” Samuel shook her head. “I don’t betray her trust like I promised I wouldn’t betray yours.” Aside from the very first time, he thought. Samuel hadn’t broken her promise to him since. “I respect that,” Charley rolled his shoulders and glanced over into the clothing store opposite the one they stood in. An unassuming young man with green sneakers had just entered it.“Spotted him. Do your thing.” he said to his partner. The two watched him moving around the counter of the neighboring store. “He’s late for work,” Samuel said. “That’s why he’s rushing. He’s nervous his manager might be annoyed with him… here she comes. And he’s very attracted to his boss, he’s thinking about her…” her nose crinkled. “I’m not relaying that.” Samuel watched the manager cross her arms as the man blabbered on. “She thinks he’s nothing but a tiny-dicked idiot. Got him.” she concluded and Charley laughed again.  

5. Their crying:

Charley sat across from his partner Samuel at a cafe table in Ireland. His panic had brought them far across the ocean, further than he meant to travel but Charley chalked it up to stress and a need to just run. Their mission to hunt a certain target ended successfully with the target’s death, but included the death of an innocent bystander. Just thinking about it made Charley’s guts coil. He fucked up bad this time, he lost control and a man lost his life because of the mishap. “You’re still learning control over your power, you did not abuse it, the reins slipped from your hands. An accident, Charley. That’s all it was.” He wiped a stubborn tear from the crease of his eye. Samuel’s brow furrowed. “You don’t need to be brave in front of me,” she murmured, reading the shame and denial of his emotions from his mind. “I’m not like him.” Charley blinked his chestnut eyes, the sour rise that made his nose tingle bringing more tears as he thought of the man who had turned him this way. His partner saw through him like tissue paper, and she saw the replaying memories; the way his face had looked, the reason he hated to let anyone see him cry, and the way that the innocent man had been knocked below to his death. He reached for her ivory hand and she took it supportively, politely looking to the far end of the cafe while Charley mopped his brow with a cloth napkin, the older man’s torso shaking with low rumbles and sniffs. A couple other lunch goers nearby looked in their direction a few times, but left them undisturbed. “… We need to see Meissa.” Samuel said finally. Charley wiped his eyes once more looked morosely at his untouched scone. “What do I tell her?” “The truth.” she suggested, wrapping her coat a little closer to her. “I’ll vouch for you, I saw them both die. The other man was not supposed to be there. It’s unfortunate, yes, but we live in the present and must go on.” Charley thought that seemed a bit harsh. “It’s survival,” Samuel added gently. “You had to change to survive and here you sit. I survived the bear trap of my childhood and here I sit. This doesn’t end here,” She retrieved her wallet and left some money on the table. “Ready? We’ll make it through this too.” Charley nodded, took a deep slow breath to collect himself. Then Samuel placed her hands in his on the table and the two vanished from their seats.

Dahlia

10. Their interactions with an enemy/rival

Dahlia kept certain rooms in her house well furnished and comfortable, and others purposefully devoid of distractions. She was leaning against her desk in such a room now, desk and a single bookshelf holding some of her dream journals the only objects beside bare floor and walls, with of course, the projection system. Projected on the walls all around her was a calming cloudy ocean scene with the horizon stretched before her. She lit a cigarette, smoke curling bright in the projection light. She glanced at her watch. The chair and the man tied to it materialized a half second later. Dahlia didn’t bat an eye. Charley stood behind the chair, palms flat on the grizzled older man’s shoulders. “I appreciate the trouble,” said Dahlia. “I know you could’ve handled him alone.” “No trouble, and thank Sammy, she lured his greasy ass into the motel room. In fact, thank her yourself.” He disappeared and within five seconds he reappeared, this time hand in hand with Samuel. Her peacock blue heels clicked on the hardwood as she moved concentric circles around the man in the chair. “Still out cold, I’m impressed Charley-boy.” “Pleasure, I’ve been practicing my right hook. It’s nice to test it out on this freak. A five year old kid, that’s sick.” he shook his head. ”Good work both of you,” Dahlia hummed approvingly. “Now we wait.” “Mind if I bounce?” Charley asked. “Gotta teach my class in an hour.” “Go right ahead. Just be back here after for disposal.” Charley nodded and vanished. Dahlia coolly regarded the unconscious man, puffing on her cigarette, lost in thought. Samuel silently watched Dahlia thinking. Samuel became a usual presence to Dahlia in this way, like a friend sitting beside her on a windowsill, simultaneously looking out the same window as herself, seeing the same vivid world outside. At last, the large man stirred, opened his bleary eyes. “The hell?” he groaned, then his eyes fell on Dahlia, then Samuel. “Who are you people? Where the fuck did you take me, you pasty bitch?” Dahlia didn’t waste time. “Mr. Clark, you don’t know me and I certainly don’t care to know you, but I do know what you did to the five year old son of your next door neighbors.” The man tried to wiggle out of his restraints. “You’re crazy, I don’t know what you’re talking about, let me fucking go!” “Take a look around Mr. Clark, this is the last room you’ll ever see.” “What?” he froze mid struggle and stared at Dahlia, who tapped her cigarette calmly in a porcelain teacup on the table. He looked to Samuel whose pallid eyes pierced daggers in his direction. “You’re not serious… I’m not scared of some dumb bitches.” “He’s lying.” Samuel contributed. “Choosing to pursue that particular disgusting fantasy of yours was the wrong choice.” Dahlia said, then extended her arm into the blue projection light and Samuel handed her a bottle of liquor from a shelf. Dahlia uncapped it and poured amber liquid into a large glass. “What are you doing?” Mr. Clark clamored as Dahlia approached him with the glass. “I swear I didn’t do it! I never touched the boy!” “It’s tacky to lie,” Samuel commented, watching as the man squirmed in place. Dahlia grabbed him by the hair, yanked his jaw up in the air, and poured the cup down his throat. The liquid spilled over the mans chin and down his shirt as he spluttered and fought, but Dahlia made sure some went down his throat. “How does it feel to be robbed of your agency?” Dahlia asked, stepping back. “I want you to meditate on that while the darkness comes. To feel like– what was his name?” she asked the man. “Evan Watson.” Samuel supplied when the man kept quiet. “Yes, like Evan when you raped him.” The man coughed out a sting of curses at Samuel and Dahlia, but the words quickly subsided until both the room and the man were still. Dahlia shuddered and turned away. “You know I like to stay distant and trust you and Charley and the others to handle this part,” she said to Samuel. “But I hated the dreams I saw. The ones with kids are the worst.” “You don’t need to explain to me, I’ve seen the way it hurts.” “Right.” Her friend’s view into her mind let Samuel understand best, but that didn’t stop Dahlia from wanting to explain things to her anyway. I appreciate you Sam, she thought. In all the ways you help me stop these people. I’d be lost without you. Samuel smiled her pearly teeth at Dahlia and Dahlia wished then that she could also see into Samuel’s innermost thoughts.

11. Their interactions with a stranger (feel free to say who the stranger might be! wink wink)

Dahlia was an early riser, and like clockwork every morning she went to her chair on the front porch and smoked under the morning sun. But this spring morning she waited to receive her brother visiting for Passover, and this morning’s cigarette was interrupted by the arrival of Michael and his boyfriend Josh with suitcases in tow. She ran down the steps to hug her brother, and then shook Josh’s hand, thinking he somehow wasn’t what she was expecting. Not that she had any big expectations but she wanted only the best for her brother. She thought he was ordinary but handsome, with a wide friendly smile, crooked at the edges. He looked eager but nervous as Dahlia introduced herself. “So you’re the mysterious Canadian man my brother’s been dating huh? Good to finally meet you. I hope you’ve been keeping him out of trouble.” Josh laughed, a bright pleasant sound. “I’m studying criminal justice actually, if anyone will be keeping him on the straight and narrow it’s me.” His accent was noticeable and musical, and Dahlia saw Michael’s eyes shining as he glanced over at Josh. Her brother looked proud and happy she realized, happier and younger looking than when she’d last seen him. “Good, well we have some lovely matzo brei mom made on the stove, you’re welcome to it for breakfast.” “Thank god, I’m starving,” said Josh. “We left too early to have breakfast and nothing at the airport sounded good.” Josh left to go bring their luggage inside, and Michael stayed out on the porch with his sister. “I’ve got a good feeling about this one.” Dahlia remarked. “What makes you say that?” Michael wondered. Dahlia offered him her cigarette and he took it. “You’ve got a love glow about you.” “I do not have a ‘love glow’,” he grumbled, blowing smoke through his nose. She laughed and took the cigarette back. “No, but seriously, you look really happy with him, not like with anyone else before. Seems like the real deal.” “Maybe. I hope so. I want mom and dad to like him.” He’s serious with this guy, Dahlia mused. Her brother caring about his parents opinions? That was a first. “I’m happy you’re home, Mike. And I wouldn’t worry about what mom thinks at least,” she said, peering into the doorway. “Look at her, she’s already fussing over him in there getting him enough on his plate.” Michael chuckled. “Better get in there and rescue him before he’s overfed.”

Rosie

1. Them as a child (i’ll do this one later)

8. Their interactions with their significant other(s), if they have them (the significant other is outta the picture, so you get Rosie and her daughter instead)

Bia clinked her raspberry gin lemonade against her mother’s glass. They sat in a private VIP room at the King’s Throne, celebrating Bia’s acceptance into one of the top medical schools in the country. Rosanne frequented this particular night club for abundance of potential customers and good relations with the owner. They were on their second round of drinks. “To the start of your career! This is all for you sweetie, enjoy yourself.” Rosanne toasted her glass and took a long sip. Bia followed suit. “Honey, I want you to know I’m proud of you.” “Thanks mom.” “I’ve been proud since the first time I held you crying in my arms.” Maybe it was the alcohol, but Bia felt a lump rise in her throat. “Even if… I turned out differently than you expected?” Rosanne set down her amaretto sour. “You’ve surprised me a lot as you’ve grown,” she started. “But never negatively. Never wanted you to work in my trade, and you surprised me by never wanting to follow in my footsteps, by picking medical school and gettin’ accepted. I’ve watched a little boy grow into a wonderful, resourceful, fucking intelligent, brave and beautiful woman. Nothing could make me prouder.” Happy tears dripped down over Bia’s expensive make up but she didn’t care. Her mother pulled her into a hug and Bia let her mascara disintegrate.

Bia

9. Their interactions with their best friend

“Your quiet magical friend told me you were here in rehab. I’m really proud of you for being here Ian.” Bia sat beside him on the edge of his bed in his room at the inpatient rehab center. She looked much healthier now, but a different version of the woman he’d known once, before Phil Lancaster had ever touched her. “Thank you Bia, and you haven’t told anyone else about what Michael can do, have you?” “No, you made me swear.” “Okay, cool.” “But listen I… I’m not the reason you’re in here now, am I?” “What do you mean?” Bia shifted her shoes on the carpet and smoothed her hair. “Well, you and me were trying different shit a lot when we were together and I’d feel terrible if I–” “No,” Ian interrupted. “Trust me, you’re not the reason I’m here. I was an addict before I met you.” Bia sighed, still looking concerned. “Okay, just wanted to apologize for ever turning you onto it.” His time dating her had been comfortable and some brief, needed stability. They spent it trying drugs and having sex, but Ian’s favorite memories had been the late hours of the night when they lay beside each other and she shared stories; these including tales of her life as a surgeon and her wild experience of growing up with a drug mogul mother like Rosanne Madaki. “I’m the one couldn’t stop Bia, and you never forced me. You were one of the few things keeping my head above the water. Taking Xanax was my own choice and so is quitting it.” She smiled meekly. “That’s the spirit.” “So, how have you been recently?” “In constant therapy for… y’know, what he did. There’s no better relief than waking up in my mother’s house and remembering he’s dead and will never be anything but dead. Mom’s barely let me out of her sight, and when she does she has one of her bodyguards tail me around, she thinks I don’t notice.” “She loves you.” “I know, she just blames herself for everything still.” “We’ve all got our struggles,” Ian said patting her arm. “We’ll try and get better together, okay?” Bia nodded and smiled at him. “I’d like that.”

[mayabriane]

My Birth Story

March 17, 2019, it was the day Larry got back home from being on tour and away from me for 3 months, excited isn’t the word to describe how we both felt anticipating this day. Knowing he had his first Atlanta show with Ella coming in just two days, we started Operation: Get Sol Here. Power walking in Piedmont and the hallways on our floor, eating spicy eggplant from Planet Bombay on Moreland (I got a level 4 in spice and almost died lol), having sex lmao (laughable because of how big and uncomfortable I was and how nervous Larry was lmao), etc. but through it all we tried to remain patient. I was a nervous wreck because I REFUSED to believe or accept Larry not being able to be here for Sol’s birth. He had a few more dates of tour left after the 22nd so if she didn’t come on her due date, March 20th, there was a possibility he would miss her. He had even worked with them so he could stay 2 days after her due date where he would miss 2 shows. We were really determined.

March 19, 2019, my 28th birthday and the first night of Larry’s Atlanta show with Ella. Sol was still chilling. I was having very minor, inconsistent contractions so me and my Mama headed to the show. We danced the night away. Left the Tabernacle and headed to get something to eat before calling it a night. Wishing, hoping, praying that labor would kick in and we could head to the hospital. But still no sign of Sol. I kept growing more and more anxious but Larry was determined and kept faith that she would come while he was here.

March 20, 2019, 2nd night of Larry’s Atlanta show with Ella and with still no sign of Sol coming my mom, Ti Lori, Cameron and I headed to the show. Danced the night away again and ended our night going to eat at R.Thomas. Although the evening was perfect, full of family, love and laughter, the fear of Sol not coming before Larry had to leave was growing stronger and stronger.

I was desperate. I asked advice from my beautiful and amazing doula, Akiyla, who shared a not so enticing but possibly successful natural method to induce labor; a concoction that’s main ingredient was Castor Oil. Because I couldn’t find all of the ingredients, I just put a tablespoon of Castor Oil in some pineapple juice and drank it. The purpose of this was to kickstart contractions that would send me into active labor.

At 3:30 AM on March 22, 2019, I started having painful, regular contractions. As they got closer and closer together I became more and more excited, THIS WAS IT!!! Akiyla helped me monitor the contractions and headed to our apartment. My mom had stayed the night with Larry and I so she was already here. I woke them up, took a quick shower and once Akiyla arrived my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. We called my doctor and they instructed me to go into the office to be checked.

Larry, my mom, Akiyla and I crammed into a small room in the doctor’s office for them to monitor my contractions and Sol’s heart rate. For some reason the machine wasn’t picking them up so the midwife came in to check my cervix. She said I was about 1 centimeter dilated, which was NOTHING and greatly concerned us because that meant I hadn’t made much progress. So she asked if I wanted her to sweep my membranes. For those who aren’t familiar, sweeping or stripping the membranes is an in office procedure where the midwife or doctor uses a gloved hand and inserts their finger into the cervix and separates the amniotic sack from the uterine wall. Basically damn near as painful as giving birth. I agreed to have her sweep them and just as quick as it happened I was screaming and crying. Agony. Because I was 2 days past my due date she sent me to the hospital to start labor. Before we headed to the hospital, we went to breakfast at Another Broken Egg, and by this time my contractions were starting to subside. I was so nervous but still determined to get Sol here.

We went and checked in at Northside. They sent me up to my room, I gave them my records and birth plan, got undressed and hooked up to have Sol’s heartbeat monitored and then all the contractions STOPPED.

We sat there for hours and hours and nothing. The first midwife came in and checked my cervix and said I was only 2 centimeters dilated. Not much progress at all. I became desperate again, and now so was Larry because we knew that he had to leave Atlanta the next day. Before all of this my plan was to go completely natural but now we started talking induction. We decided that we wanted to do induction because the midwife said that they would just give me Pitocin and that would kick start labor and I would dilate. Cool. We pushed the green button on that and waited for next steps.

Hours upon hours past and the 2nd midwife had still not arrived. We were growing more and more anxious and by this time me and Larry were impatient. I was growing even more concerned as well because my Mom was scheduled to leave Atlanta in just a couple days. The midwife finally came in and we started discussing induction with her. But before we got all the way into it she wanted to check my cervix to make sure she provided the best recommendation for induction. She checked and told me I was 1 centimeter dilated. She then explained that just giving me Pitocin would not work. She further explained that my cervix needed to be softened to dilate before contractions could kick start. That meant two steps before I could even start labor which also meant a ton of drugs and procedures that I was not feeling at all.

As we sat there in the room we all started to talk and try to make the best decision. Initially we chose the option that was the least complicated, but as I sat there with my mind and heart racing I knew that this wasn’t the right thing to do. As hard of a pill it was to swallow I knew that Sol was not ready to come yet and I did not want to try to FORCE her to come. Larry and I were devastated. We cried in each other’s arms because we knew now how great the possibility was that he would miss her birth.

I cried so much and felt so defeated like I had let everyone down. Why wouldn’t my body do what it needed to do to bring our baby here? But then I remembered the countless times both Larry and I said and held firm on, that God’s plan was bigger than all of us. That he would make it so that everything happened exactly the way it was supposed to. And with pain and disappointment in my heart I swallowed this pill too and brought in the next day with faith. Larry ended this night before heading home by giving me the most beautiful Push Gift ever; a gold necklace with two little baby feet as the pendant, on the front of each foot is an aquamarine which is my and Sol’s birthstone, and on the back of each foot was her first and middle name engraved. I wear it everyday now ❤️

Days came and went and there was still no sign of Sol coming. On Monday, March 25th I went back into the doctor’s office for another appointment. She told me that if I had not gone into labor by Wednesday that I would need to come back in on Friday for us to start discussing induction, which also could mean C-section. NOPE. I was not having it. So I walked and walked and walked and walked some more. On the evening of March 25th I went to the gym and power walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes, did some squats then went back to my apartment. Just me and my big pregnant belly. My mom was staying with Ti Lori and Larry was back on the road finishing tour.

At 3:30 AM on March 26, 2019, a very painful contraction woke me up out of my sleep. As I laid there 10 minutes later another one came. I was like ok I need to go to the bathroom. As I walked to the bathroom I noticed that it was oddly wet between my legs and I was dripping a little heading to the door. Once I hit the bathroom door and turned on the light my water broke all over the floor. I thought I had peed all over myself because of how it felt but I texted Akiyla anyway and told her. She told me that if I continued to leak fluid after going to the bathroom that it was def my water. By this time my contractions were growing stronger and closer together and I was def still leaking. Omg...it was finally happening. I called my mom and woke her up and told her to head over immediately because it was time. Both her and Akiyla rushed here and took me to the hospital.

Got checked in and so the long journey of labor began. When they initially checked me they found that I had ruptured meconium, meaning Sol had pooped inside of me. They weren’t extremely concerned but knew they had to monitor her heart rate and once she was born check her immediately to make sure she had not swallowed or inhaled in the meconium.

For 10 hours I groaned, rocked and moaned through excruciating contractions trying to stay determined to go natural. My mom and Akiyla stayed by my side. I threw up three times. By this point I was so weak and exhausted I could barely sit up. So I asked for some pain medicine. They came in an gave me 2 shots, one of morphine and the other to help with nausea. That calmed me some but just a little. The contractions were getting worst. At the 13th hour they came in to check my cervix, I was only THREE CENTIMETERS dilated. NO WAY. And I had to get all to the way to TEN!? And it had already been THIRTEEN hours!? How much longer would it take!? How much more could I take?! Nope. That was it for me. I told them I wanted the epidural.

I got the epidural, craziest feeling ever. It felt like a skinny cold worm wiggled through my spine. Not long after that I was numb from the waist down. I couldn’t even lift my legs or rotate from side to side. And I was shivering uncontrollably. But I could no longer feel the contractions (bright side). They came in and checked me again I was 5 centimeters. Some progress but still not enough so they gave me Pitocin. Only a little bit made my contractions so strong the epidural was wearing off and they were extremely close so they took me off the Pitocin and let me ride the rest of it out with just the epidural. More time went by then they came in again and checked me, I was 9 centimeters. Omg NOW it was REALLY time. They called the Midwife to come which felt like AN ETERNITY for her to get there.

I was experiencing so much pressure it caused me to shit on myself twice. Yes, I shit on myself. I was so angry and annoyed WHERE was the midwife!!?? Finally she came in and it was time to get in the position to push. With Larry on FT, my mom holding one leg back and Akiyla holding my foot I started pushing. Everytime I felt pressure I would have to get in position and push as hard as I could for 10 straight seconds without breathing, let 3 seconds pass and push again for 10 seconds for THREE PUSHES. At the end of each round I was crying and trying to catch my breath frustrated because each last push felt like I was doing it enough. They kept trying to make me wear the oxygen mask, but it was giving me anxiety so I kept pulling it off. On top of all that it felt like Sol was coming out and going back in (btw I could feel everything except the contractions) so I asked for the mirror so I could see my progress. And OMG there was her head FULL of hair. Now it was ON lol

For 38 minutes I pushed and pushed and pushed and then at 2:03 AM she came. The moment of her coming through the birth canal at the last moment before she was Earth side, is unlike anything I’ve ever felt or probably will ever feel. I had transcended from Earth to spirit world. I was levitating. I was absolutely weightless, completely surrounded by a warm but gentle cloud of light and love. Unreal. I balled. So did Larry and so did my mom. Our beautiful baby girl was finally here. Our Sol Marie. 7 lbs 10 ounces, 21 inches long. And I was completely transformed. Since that day I was never the same. Life has all new meaning as does love.

My birth story was not like I imagined it would be and that is exactly the way it was supposed to be. Unpredictable. Unexpected. Unique. Surreal. But perfect. Perfect for me and our daughter.

If you read through this entire story you are just as crazy as me lol no but seriously, THANK YOU. Thank you for taking the time out to read my story and in a way share the journey with me.

Peace and blessings to you all, especially the Mamas. I love y’all.

[annachronistic]

BBC Les Mis highlights

I waited till the last minute to review decided to review the BBC Les Mis series after all 6 episodes have aired.  So here’s my partially analytical, partially comical commentary on the BBC series.  A lot of stuff under the cut, lol.

- The Waterloo scene with Thénardier flexin’ like he wasn’t just about to rob Pontmercy 😒.  The dude’s so two-faced, but that’s in character.

- The Toulon prison scene looks like it was filmed in an arid, desert-like region, like Zion National Park.  I’m very curious about where this was filmed!

- One moment in the Toulon scene that stood out to me was with the prisoner about to get executed by firing squad.  And Javert just says “fire” in the most monotone voice ever as if it was nothing.  It really shows how indifferent he is to this sort of stuff.

- The “you will never win” line from Javert makes him seem like a stereotypical movie villain.  Just add lightning and a dramatic music sting wait, there’s no music allowed.

- The French dialog in the background is a clever way to establish the setting.  I wish I knew more French so I could understand the background conversations!

- The parts of episode 1 with Fantine and her homies just hanging out and being happy were my favorite scenes.

- Fantine is played by Lily Collins, who is Phil Collins’ daughter.  Phil Collins is a musician.  But I thought there was no singing allowed, Davies 😤

- I like how Fantine has a last name (Tibeau) in this series.  I like the idea of giving names to characters with unmentioned last/first names in the book.

- Georges Pontmercy tries to contact his father-in-law George Washington Gillenormand, who is a pretentious royalist that won’t let Marius see his dad.

- Seriously, I know almost nothing about 19th century fashion and I still can tell that Gillenormand and his royalist buddies’ hairstyles are anachronistic.

- Cosette, Éponine, and Azelma playing together after Fantine arrived with Cosette at the inn reminded me of the powerpuff girls with their hair styles.

-This is sad as well, because this the last time Cosette will be happy in a very long time.

- Fantine being optimistic and thinking she’ll see Cosette in 6 months really makes me sad, knowing what will happen in the future.

- Madeleine firing Fantine for lying (when he himself is lying, in a way, by hiding his identity) seems harsh and out-of character.  Valjean is supposed to have the most dramatic character changes of all the characters, but it looks like he hasn’t changed at all since Toulon.

- Javert talks to Madeleine in the same condescending way he did when he was 24601.  He was being all passive-aggressive and basically accusing him of being a criminal without directly saying it to his face.

- The dude that buys Fantine’s hair and teeth looks hella creepy.  Like wtf is that tattoo near his eye?

- Javert was super indifferent to Fantine’s death.

- Javert seems more like lawful evil than lawful neutral in this series.

- Valjean Harry Houdinis himself out of prison and shows up to get Cosette...2 years later?

- Rosalie Thénardier (again, I like that she has a first name) is depicted very well and is not solely a comic relief.

- Creepy hair buying guy returns and sells Chuckie Catherine to Valjean

- Valjean when he sees that Thénardier followed him and Cosette into the woods to bargain for more money:

- Cosette is right.  The landlord is a nosy lil bitch.

- At the end of episode 3, Javert gets super pissed that Valjean has narrowly escaped.  This is so sad Alexa play One Way or Another by Blondie.

- Big time jump!  What year is it?  Now I miss the exact year being shown on the screen.

- Valjean has morphed into Queen Aggravain from Once Upon a Mattress, so I guess Cosette is a much-smarter Prince Dauntless?  (Stop it annachronistic!  This is not a musical review.  Andrew Davies forbids it 😠)

- Since Cosette has some traits of an ingenue, and since Davies likes making female characters one-dimensional, I was afraid that he was gonna make her really dumb.  Thankfully she is smart, and I don’t think that Valjean perceives her as being dumb.  I think he is trying to shelter her from the world not because he thinks she is weak, but because he is super paranoid and has trust issues.  Like he might be afraid of her meeting someone like Tholomyes or Thénardier.

- But Valjean goes about his protection of Cosette in the most jerkish way possible. 

- Mabeuf is the real MVP

- The return of the landlord in episode 4 (dun dun dunn)

- I hate the strip tease scene.  Like stahp.

- And I also dislike the over-sexualization of (abused!) women, and the idea that a woman has to be “sexy” or beautiful in order to be loved.  In the words of the great Bart Baker “It sends the message to young girls: pretty equals happiness.  If you’re ugly then you’re worthless and your life will be bland and shitty”

- In episode 4 Marius is pretty much a socially awkward Glenn Quagmire from Family Guy.

- The scene where Thénardier forces Azlema to break the window with her hand makes Thénardier look like a sociopath.

- I don’t know why Valjean took Cosette to the Gorbeau house where the Thénardiers were staying.  I think it’s to emphasize that Cosette remembers the Thénardiers?

- New drinking game: take a shot every time Thénardier says he was in Waterloo.

- The Gorbeau house raid was actually my favorite scene of episode 4 (I’m biased because I’m an action movie fan), although there is a shocking lack of “would you like my hat?”.

- Valjean going crazy and burning his arm with the hot iron and Madame Thénardier throwing that giant ass rock!   I think X Gon’ Give It To Ya by DMX would be the perfect soundtrack for the Gorbeau house scene.

- Gavroche’s brothers/gamin buddies in episode 5!

- Also, Gavroche looks like Huey Freeman from The Boondocks.  I cannot unsee this.

- Marius, justifiably upset at his grandfather says “You disrespected my father, and now you disrespect wife?!”  Like, he didn’t even say “future” wife, and he’s only spoken to her 4 times in the show.  Slow down there, buckaroo.

- Also Gillenormand changes somewhat even he changed more than Valjean wtf and has some regrets about not letting Marius see his dad.

- I hate seeing Valjean fighting with Cosette.  In fact, the whole thing is pretty farcical.  There are a lot of Jerry Springer moments.

- Case in point: Enjolras.  The background info for the reasons for the June rebellion was glossed over pretty quickly, so it seems like he’s starting shit just to start shit.

- Javert thinks Valjean is the leader of the rebellion like wtf?  At this point, BBC Javert seems more like the Javert from the musical (ya know, going after the same criminal for almost 2 decades instead of randomly meeting him in a series of coincidences). 

- I love the drone shots of the barricades

- Marius goes from super giddy to suicide bomber in like one day.  I love the recurring theme of characters going berserk.

- And Enjolras and the rebels thought that was a badass moment for him.

- It’s a 3-way tie between Valjean, Javert, and Marius for being the most extra™ character in the series.

- Cosette saying “I hate you” to Valjean somehow seemed both out-of character and justified.

- Éponine getting shot was too sad.

- Gavroche’s body getting put next to Éponine‘s :(

- The army guy staring at Grantaire and Enjolras after killing them :(

- After Valjean finds him at the barricade and sees he has a knife Javert is like:

- Valjean saying he might “change his mind” about not killing Javert ???

- not enough sewers 0/10

- Gillenormand’s reaction when he thought that Marius was dead made me finally feel sympathy for him

- Javert’s suicide was surreal because he was methodical about it.  After crying for a few seconds, he goes back to his stoic self and jumps off the bridge because he actually sees it as a logical solution.

- Valjean casually admitting to Marius that he was thinking about murdering him *eyeroll*

- The biggest what-the-fuck moment (history wise) was when Thénardier said he was going to La Jolla in the New World to trade slaves.  If I heard it right, he is talking about La Jolla in California.  California did not become a state until 1850.  So if this is true, then Cosette is in her mid-30′s, Marius is at least 40, and Thénardier is at least 77.  Damn, they aged well!

- Valjean’s hair finally changed color once he slips into depression.

- At least Valjean had a peaceful death, and Cosette was by his side.  His relationship with his daughter was resolved and the story was able to (sort of) have a happy ending.

- Speaking of endings, the series ends on a frickin’ cliff hanger with the two gamin boys begging on the streets.  I guess it’s to show that the world is still a cruel place, but some can overcome it?

- We now need Les Misérables 2: Thénardier goes to America and his 2 unnamed sons get adopted by the Pontmercys.

[athyrabunlord]

Below is my rambling response to @argnatien’s lovely review of 3.3k words (?!??!?!?) for LLSHP AU ch16~

I had hoped to finish ch17 in February but oh, it’s April now XD;;; So I’m definitely way later than you. But! I’m still very happy to receive your feedback! Yes, I did intend this chapter to be ‘quieter’ in terms of actions, but definitely still a turmoil in terms of emotions. The thing with the ending chapters of Arc2 is that, the characters were not given time to truly absorb the aftermaths. Everything happened so quickly, back to back, and suddenly their world is turned upside down. It’s not just Yoshiko – Dia and Riko are abruptly gone from their peaceful school life. Chika and You learned about what really happened to them but they never got the chance to talk to Riko about it.

I think I mentioned this already, but I’ll stress again that, if it weren’t for the carbonado necklace, Riko would have ended up like Frank and Alice Longbottom. She was subjected to not just one but several Cruciatus Curses on top of many Legilimens. It was a difficult scene for me to write as well, though I still strive to be as realistic as possible given the circumstances.

Riko had immediately Obliviated You and Chika while their… ‘injuries’ were still fresh, so to speak, while it’s already too late for Riko. Her mind was broken already, so there’s no point in Obliviating them. Besides, messing with memories is a crude method to deal with Cruciatus aftermath – it’s not done in canon HP verse. Unlike physical torture, I believe Cruciatus to be a direct attack on the mind to stimulate pain receptors, rather than actual attack on the person’s nervous system. So, if the mind forgets that it ever sent such signals, perhaps there wouldn’t be an aftereffect. Of course, all of this is just my assumption and play around with HP canon material XD;

Back to present, Chika said that being surrounded by friends and family would remind her that the pain from Cruciatus is in the past. What Riko needs now certainly is time and, as the girls have discovered, Dia to be with her too. I can’t elaborate more on this point but indeed, there is hope. Hope is what Aqours is all about.

Dia was raised and shown in public as the heiress of the Kurosawa family. They could not just outright disown or strip her of her title for no reason, that would be even worse shame than the current suspicions she now faced. Hence the best countermeasure they have for now is to keep her from public eyes. There’s the matter of her relationship with Riko as well. Though the Sakurauchis is an old family with prominent background, their lineage is nowhere as pure as Kurosawas. Both women, different social status, and now this incident… Dia and Riko indeed face quite a lot of obstacles.

Grounded in her family home, unable to contact friends and left with only thoughts of guilt and regret, Dia’s not in a good state in many ways (as briefly shown in ch17). Dia is not privy to Riko’s condition, so her mind would just keep wandering and assuming the worst. As Dia-oshi (that’s hard to believe probably, considering what I’ve done), it’s difficult for me to imagine how much pain Dia’s been experiencing but had to keep inside her with no way to vent her stress.

My parchment paper analogy is my attempt to differentiate Magical healing from Muggle healing process. For Muggles, we have equipment like MRT scans, EGG scans etc. So, as I try to rationalize how Healers work, the parchment analogy came to mind. Ink is indeed the stressor and is unpredictable, as in what sort of stain the ink would make on the paper is dependent on how the ink is dropped upon it. Thoughts/experiences change the pattern that the ink runs on the paper. Chika and You mentioned how their minds are like ‘dried parchment, one that’s been stained before but the ink color has long lightened.’ So, just how can Riko’s ‘parchment’ be salvaged?

Yes, you’re correct, she was just having a PTSD flashback upon seeing the person who betrayed and tortured her. She had no idea it was ‘Yohane’ – she still thought it was Yoshiko. She definitely is in no state of mind to think about the why and how. ………… yeah, I deserve to be stoned by Riko-oshis.

Hmm, yeah, can’t comment much on Yoshiko & Riko atm. But yes, Yoshiko will not go anywhere near Riko in fear of triggering another panic attack. I don’t remember what I said to you for ch15’s review LOL I agree, trust is indeed hard to regain.

Can’t comment much on the Yohane-Yoshiko connection either. Just as how Yoshiko can do certain things Yohane can’t (ie cast the Patronus), there are things Yohane can do that Yoshiko can’t either. The how and why shall be revealed in the remainder of Arc3. Yoshiko’s bad Occlumency is due to the fact she’s not ‘whole’. Yohane is definitely more accustomed to handling matters related to her soul, having practically grown up with such knowledge and those wings being a natural occurrence for her. In the alley, Yoshiko was practically losing control and attempting to force her way into Yohane’s mind, and so Yohane abruptly cut off the connection.

Specifically, it was Yoshiko’s emotional attachment to Hanamaru’s broken wand that stopped her from going berserk. To her, the broken wand was a remnant of the ‘old’ Hanamaru, from a period of time where things were still good. As hinted in past chapters, being the one to be able to approach Yoshiko while those tendrils were rampant, Hanamaru is a key factor in calming down Yoshiko.  Emotion is another key catalyst for the black tendrils. Finding out that Yohane had tortured Riko caused such undulated anger in Yoshiko. Clues from past events will be accumulating and adding up, and of course more to come. Good speculations, that’s all I can say for now 😃

Yup, playing around one’s soul definitely isn’t healthy for the long run, especially when you use said soul fragments as a form of weapon or defense. In a way, you could say Yohane-Yoshiko are damaged already. Neither of them is whole after all. Again, great speculations!

Hanamaru is connected to Yoshiko in a way, ever since the Dementor incident as a child. (ch17 sheds some light onto that mystery) She hasn’t been aware of this connection, at least not consciously, but she’s always been able to locate Yoshiko at Hogwarts (between classes and whatnot). After the Chamber of Secrets event though, she becomes aware of it without understanding what it really means. Seeing the Augurey enables her to make a comparison/metaphor, and so she stated that she could hear Yoshiko’s soul crying.

Foreshadowing… welp, ch17 did reveal more things haha

I’ve been fascinated by Augurey since I first read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which listed them alphabetically. So in the very early planning stages of this story, I thought of Yoshiko right away and wanted it to play a significant role. Ch17 does reveal more than it being a symbol. The Hogwarts registry that writes down the names of magical children is an Augurey quill, that’s why I chose to use it for a purpose in this story as well.

Just as how Professor Koizumi coaxed Ruby into letting out her emotions in Interlude2, Hanamaru managed to do so for Yoshiko. The poor girl needs it, it’s not healthy keeping everything inside after all. It’s mostly guilt, she keeps telling herself she doesn’t deserve to be comforted and she’s in no position to be crying when everyone else have suffered so much more. I’m glad that you as a reader find the moment satisfying, as I intended it to be in spite of the overall solemn and melancholic tone. Ch17 presents a different catharsis for her, another one that she needs, and for Hanamaru as well.

<_< ah yes memories. I’ve always found Obliviate a very fascinating spell – a dangerous one too – yet it was never expanded much in the HP canon. The most poignant instances would be Gilderoy Lockhart stealing credit, Hermione to protect her parents, and Bertha Jorkins who got tortured by Voldemort and regained her memories. All of these have different impacts, positive and negative, on characters and the plot.

And so, I did a little variation amongst the members – the Memory Charm saved You and Chika’s lives; Riko extracted her memory into the Pensieve before her mind cracked; Yoshiko’s own memories being disjointed due to the whole Horcrux issue; Hanamaru’s memory repression being purely psychological.

I make them suffer a lot don’t I… (but this is nothing compared to other AUs I had for them LOL *gets shot*) But personally, I find things so much sweeter (or, bittersweet at least) if there was suffering beforehand. The saying of ‘you won’t realize how much you miss/need something until it’s gone’ kind of feel.

Again, I must say I’m beyond amazed at the 3.3k review. Like, holy moly, that’s longer than most some of my blips already! I really appreciate all these feedbacks though – it lets me see how a reader views the story, and it brings me joy to see the little nuances here and there noticed and appreciated. I’m also glad to elaborate upon/share the more intricate details that have no room in the storytelling.

Thanks again!

[trippyzendome]

same mistake, different scenario

Honestly i made the worst mistake of my entire life. Everyone told me not to move in with cris, but i felt like i needed the help with rent and even furniture, moving things ect...  and by doing so I even closed some doors for myself within my social life with CN, Michelle ect. or maybe I just closed those doors myself because of my own guilt and embarrassment... which seems more reasonable - I am just weak and now I'm suffering all over again for being weak minded. I’m suffering the consequences of my own actions  with cris for the millionth time. The lease is 12 months long,  It hasn't even been a month and things are already going down hill and it’s only going to get worse. 

This is always how it starts, he feeds and pokes his fingers into my insecurities.. maybe he does it subconsciously, but it bothers me and breaks down my self esteem. I start to slowly hate myself.. 

The way he demands things from me, his tonality, his body language... it hurts, i believe his selfishness hurts the most. I am so selfless and thoughtful when it comes to him. I set the same expectations and i watch it burn into flames every time;  maybe my own expectations are the key ingredient to the catastrophe ?  What am I overlooking -  about myself ?  about him ?  shit, the whole relationship as a whole is what I'm overlooking.. I always get so close to leaving the relationship behind me and I always relapse like a junkie and people get tired of that. They get tired of the “the boy who cried wolf” ..  i stopped venting or even mentioning the relationship to anyone; I am embarrassed. I don't blame family & friends  for getting overly annoyed and tired of the relationship; we broke up every other month. Part of me senses that I burned all bridges within my social life and great opportunities ( prom, Disney, grad bash ect  ALLL PAID FOR -  ALL I MISSED OUT ON )   to please him.  Let’s not forget i always had a choice, yet I knew if I did attend these events I would only feel guilt.. we would argue. ect and I just didn’t want to lose him. The fact that he wanted my presence subconsciously made me feel obligated to BE present; if that makes any sense.  The farthest made it w/o talking to him was maybe 2-3 months... He may be one the many dark demons holding me back from shining as bright as I should.

 I try to stick up  for myself and communicate with him & maybe i don't do it the best way, but what other way is there? I continuously try so many different methods as a form of communication and nothing works. We moved in Feb. 12th  and I already feel myself becoming tired of the certain circumstances as if my peace and sanity is slowly being stripped away from me. I feel stuck and its my own fault, all of my steps have led me to this destination. i have no one to blame but myself. i KNEW the type of person he was and for 2 years, I believed in my naïve little heart- he could change. Yet, the only thing that changed every time, was his method's of manipulation. There is no form of privacy between us-  especially now that we live together; so here I am.. 

Now I really am stuck-  after so many years of self victimization. The family I have, has no intentions in helping me. They have worries and families of their own; plus they’re all about an hour away or more.. My back bone was my grandma and now she's leaving to-  1,150 miles to be exact. My moms too much of a damn junkie to gaf and now I also burned bridges with her also due to my relationship with cris. I can’t blame her for kicking me out the way she did. However I can’t ignore the pressure and trauma she put me through due to her own selfish habits. 

This turned out to be lengthier then expected, I guess i had more on my mind that i wasn’t even aware of. Maybe its just the birth control making me over emotional and im already a cry baby too lol. Lort help me ! 😂🤣

I can’t lie, being able to get this off my chest did make me feel better, hopefully now I can handle all situations with a clear mind. So many questions, so little answers. So many maybes and what ifs and no clear directions. 

[wonderfuls-worlds]

Mystic Messenger : Day 3 ~ V Walkthrough (FULL ANSWERS)

Thank you for your support, you were all so sweet to me <3

Contributor (THANK YOU SO MUCH): @verycharismaticdragon Thank you for suggesting your help : @therosettewolf, @anasaraz

Check out their tumblr !

If you are on phone, please setting the page to be seen in the computer version! On the phone, the answers are sometimes unaligned and it can confuse you…

In order to not bother and annoy my followers who don’t play this game by this looong post, I’ll put a seperate line. Click to see.

 00 :31 : Under the Shimmering [Zen, V]

I wanted to chill out more and then go to sleep. (nothing)

I was waiting to meet you, Zen (Zen)

The beautiful are sleepy heads..? (Zen)

I think your biorhythm will break living like that. (nothing)

I actually want to see V’s photos! (V)

God, finally we’ll have some peace and silence. (nothing)

Wow, you’re even humble! Such perfection ! (nothing)

Are you in a motorcycle gang? (nothing)

Zen, riding your bike under the moonlight… (Zen)

I wonder how Jumin will look like riding the bike! (nothing)

That’s the thing, you can never find your driver’s license when needed. (nothing)

Share with me some photos of your driver’s license, if you have some. (nothing)

It’s the same thing. Just do it. (nothing)

Both are so perfect. How am I to choose?! (Zen)

Wow! It’s you when you were younger! (nothing)

You’re here to see me!! (nothing)

I want to chat with everyone together. (V)

Aren’t motorcycles dangerous? (nothing)

Zen, you had an accident? (nothing)

You feel free as a bird when you ride with the wind. (Zen)

When you’re feeling frustrated and all, playing games are the best! 0% accidents! (nothing)

What if something dangerous happens to you? (V)

How exactly did the crash occur? (nothing)

Tell me what happened back then. (nothing)

V, you’re quite persistent. (nothing)

It would have been serious if V didn’t follow you. (V)

V, you should take photos of me someday as well! (V)

Trying to deny it by myself is too hard. I need some help here. (nothing)

Flowers? V, were you Zen’s fan? (V)

Zen, what were you like back in the days? (nothing)

You still look promising. (nothing)

Life is about rebounding back when you were considering quitting lol (nothing)

Maybe you’re in a slump? (nothing)

I lie low for a while. (nothing)

Do something that brightens your mood! (nothing)

Forget about everything and let time pass by. (nothing)

V, do you normally clock in such late hours? (nothing)

You seem to be coming in at late hours… Are you okay? (V)

V, you go well with wine! (nothing but best answer for V)

Zen, I hope you get to shoot a beer commercial. (Zen)

Have you ever heard of alcohol-related dementia? (nothing)

Don’t drink too much! (V)

Good bye! (nothing)

You have a lot to worry about. (nothing)

I’m like that as well. (V)

I think I should get going now. (nothing but best answer)

I’m going to stay up late. (nothing)

Visual Mode V

  02:46 : Paradox of the Survival of the Fittest [Unknown]

 I was testing the game you gave me. (Unknown)

Ray, why aren’t you sleeping? (nothing)

We connected as I wanted to see you as well! (Unknown)

You seem to have a lot of work to do. (nothing)

If you have something to say, come over yourself. (nothing)

There’s the modern convenience called the phone. (nothing)

Then it’ll bloom twice as much flowers! (nothing)

Wonder why it grew in two stalks. (nothing)

Wouldn’t it be because only one had sunlight and the other had none? (nothing)

It could be that one of it is like an extra giveaway, since it grew into two from one stalk. (Unknown’s heartbroken!)

I feel sad for the weaker stalk... (nothing)

There’s nothing you can do, it’s nature’s way of survival of the fittest. (nothing)

I want to save the weaker stalk somehow. (Unknown)

You’re right. The weaker stalk was the one that sacrificed! (Unknown)

But for flowers to blossom, the weaker one should be stripped. (nothing)

Throw it out and buy a new pot. (nothing)

Rescue both. (nothing)

It’ll be a flower gained from the other’s sacrifice... (nothing)

Wow… I’ll look forward to it, Ray! (nothing)

Yawn. I think the game you made is more interesting. (nothing)

It was fun. With hidden morals and all... (Unknown)

Are you going back to work? (nothing)

Ray, when are you going to sleep? (nothing)

  07:00 : Take Care of Your Health [707, Jumin, Jaehee]

Why don’t you lower the brightness? (nothing)

Change your glasses into sunglasses lol (nothing)

Huh. The name’s even suspicious for a start. (nothing)

I’ll get ready to write it down! (707)

Isn’t that just a bunch of powders and not a drink? (nothing)

Can I taste it? (nothing)

Reports to police right now (nothing)

It’s not like the stakes are some kinds of market free-giveaways... (nothing)

A match of outstanding product quality!! (707)

Send in an ingredients review document as well (nothing)

Seems you have an innocent spot in you, Jumin. (Jumin)

You don’t even know the prices at convenience store? You must be joking! (nothing)

Throwing it out down the drain… of something you made with great difficulty… T_T (707)

You’re suddenly acting a bit pathetic. (Jumin)

In other words, you’re distracted. (nothing)

Catching your breath is important as well. (707)

You’re nodding to that? ;;;;; (nothing)

Tell me more of this cleaning fairy. (nothing)

Cleaning fairy sounds too suspicious... (nothing)

Awesome! Why don’t we learn it’s secret cleaning methods at the party? (nothing + answer to the email)

Huh; It’s Jaehee;; (nothing)

Jaehee, good morning! (nothing)

You are very persistent. (nothing)

Too bad, you were this close to being successful in your fabrication. (707)

Jaehee, good luck today! (Jaehee)

You just came in. Are you already leaving? (nothing)

Isn’t it enough to have one friend like V? (Jumin + V)

You really have only two friends? (707)

Can someone translate what Seven’s saying? (Jumin)

1011011…... (707)

It wasn’t too far. It was way way too far. (nothing)

I thought it was funny lol (nothing)

Stop getting distracted and get to work. (nothing)

Don’t forget to bring Sevenstar Drink Version 2 when you come back! (nothing)

  09:13 : Back in the Days [Zen, Jaehee]

Jumin’s company? (nothing)

A morning meeting of beautiful people? Lol (Zen)

Cat café (nothing)

Did you get your license renewed? (nothing)

I’m ready to hit Save. Please show it to me!!!! (Zen)

I’m actually tired of seeing it since I’ve seen it numerous times. (nothing)

When did you debut? (nothing)

Oh! I suppose the roads were familiar to you- (nothing)

You must be happy. (nothing)

And the story goes that it was your girlfriend. (nothing)

Ooh, celebrity! (Zen)

It must have been worthwhile! (Zen)

What photo did V debut with? (V)

Oh, um, yeah. Let’s put it like that. (nothing)

Zen, I invite you to the room of mirrors. (nothing)

Yeah. I think its hard to compare appearances with you, Zen! (Zen)

The one with Pickachoo!? (nothing)

I wanna be - most very best - (nothing)

I will decline as Ninpendo might get us because of copyright infringements. (nothing)

Great! I’ll catch Backpack Monsters by inviting him to the party. (nothing + answer to the email)

Oh… sweet jesus..! (Zen)

Wow lol (nothing)

My eyes are screaming out with joy! (nothing)

Welcome! (nothing)

Jaehee, our professional Zen-critic, can you please explain to us what kind of performance it was? (Jaehee)

And like this, the number of photos in my folder increase one by one... (Jaehee)

I want to see that performance - (nothing)

AI role…? It must have been easy for an AI to play an AI role. (Unknown)

Jaehee, your Zen-intelligence is really awesome. (Jaehee)

Skin conditions are always better when you’re young… (nothing)

Truth is, I think I prefer V than Zen. (V)

Jaehee, have a glass of cold coffee right now before you run wild. (Jaehee

It’s a meeting with V’s acquaintance, right? (V)

I want to know whom he’s having the meeting with - (nothing)

It’s my father-in-law ^^ (nothing)

V’s dad… I wonder what kind of person he is. (nothing)

He would have received some hardcore education. (nothing)

Silver spoon family class... (nothing)

 I like V’s humble attitude. (V)

They have few things in common, but they’re also different - (nothing)

A virtual world of their own… (nothing)

I think their relationship is… too glorified. (nothing)

I think they pair well together ^^ (V)

You do know that beer isn’t part of brunch, right? (nothing)

Enjoy your meal- (nothing)

Are you worried? (nothing)

Does V know about this? (V)

You have one… called being a fan-girl. It’s your boyfriend and friend. (V)

I want to be friends with V too. (V ( best answer)

It kind of bothers me that there’s a secret V keeps even from his friend. (Unknown)

Bye- (nothing)

Jaehee, have a great day today! (Jaehee)

  12:22 : My Best Friend [Unknown]

  I did- (nothing)

Not yet. (nothing)

Of course! Friends are really dear. (nothing)

No… Humans betray someday. (nothing)

You’re friends with flowers ^^ (Unknown)

Aren’t you working indoors all the time? (nothing)

What’s the flower language of blue roses? (nothing)

What’s the flower language of daffodils? (nothing)

Lisianthus (nothing)

I like lily-of-the-valley! (nothing)

Um… I think I feel more close with the friends inside the game. (V)

You can! Though more time would be needed. (Unknown)

Who is it? (nothing)

I’m jealous... (Unknown)

Um, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it… (nothing)

I don’t feel it at all… I wish you’d be obsessed with me a bit more... (nothing)

I don’t think you’re obsessed with me. I’m just glad that you seem to care for me a lot! (Unknown)

Who is this person? (nothing)

Then Ray, are you working for this person? (nothing)

When the party is held… I think I would want to leave here. (nothing)

I want to be with you…! My mind will not change. (Unknown)

Bye! (nothing)

I want to see you today, Ray ! (Unknown)

Visual Novel Jumin

  14:09 : Small Cute Adorable (707, Jaehee)

  Oh, savior of Justice!! Has a villain appeared?  (nothing)

Every day is a crossroad lol (nothing)

Is something wrong? (nothing)

What’s your real job? (nothing)

You’re a person receiving a salary. (nothing)

I secured your portrait of the deceased. Thanks. (nothing)

What a dangerous mission… I wonder if you can return safely…? (707)

I understand her. She must’ve been surprised to learn that your mission is a dangerous one… (nothing)

Condolences to Jaehee’s eyes... (Jaehee)

I think I’m already used to it now-^^ Hahaha. (nothing)

I pray for your successful mission. (nothing)

Will a nude photo be next? (nothing)

Do I need to feed the fairy with compliments? (707)

Such delicate plot… This messenger is truly awesome. (Unknown)

I am curious of the next theme. (nothing)

Is 3 days enough? Won’t you need a week? (nothing)

3 days...? (nothing)

Got it. (nothing)

...Let me hear it out first. (nothing)

Oh! Compliment from the bottom of Jaehee’s heart ! (nothing)

I was about to recommend the first one!! (707)

Jaehee… you want to get out of this fast, right? (Jaehee)

Cars are dreams! Don’t sell it! (nothing)

Seven! Sell your car to me! (nothing)

Maybe it’s duty-free business? Lol (nothing)

Since it’s largely influencing the national economy…I think it’ll be larger than what we imagine… (nothing)

Okay… Good bye. (nothing)

It’s inevitable because of its size difference. (nothing)

What is it...? (nothing

Not really. (nothing)

I pay a decent amount earnestly. Thought not as much as Jumin… (nothing)

I’m a person with a fragile wallet that gets billed with withholding tax. (nothing)

Wouldn’t V’s mother’s hair color have been mint? (nothing)

The father might have dyed his hair...(nothing)

V might have colored his hair...TT (nothing)

You’re the son of  dragon? Whatever... (Jaehee)

I wish a dragon would come to the party... (707)

Wouldn’t it be better if we invite those who can actually attend the party? (Jaehee)

Let’s make an equal world for everyone together! (707)

Lololol (nothing)

It looks like a strong name. (nothing)

Whoa... (nothing)

It’s not the right time to unveil the sealing of the dragon Smug, so I therefore decline. (nothing)

Okay! Let’s invite it! (nothing + answer to the email)

Can the party be really held properly? T_T (Jaehee)

Wow- (nothing)

So this person has nothing to do with the pilot you first mentioned! (nothing)

How is this person related to you, Jaehee?;; (nothing)

You’ve put your effort in trying to find the most ordinary person! (nothing)

We’re already too ordinary, and I don’t think we need to invite this person! (707)

We cannot decline someone like that! (Jaehee + answer to the email)

Whoa…are you going to fall now? (nothing)

What are you talking about? I’m sure you’re not really flying through the sky…. (nothing)

Sounds dangerous... (nothing)

I want to try that! (nothing)

A genius! (707)

I’d expect nothing less from someone V has appointed in charge of security. (V)

I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust all of Seven’s words. I mean, we’ve seen him playing tricks a lot… (Jaehee)

Didn’t he invite the vampire and udon…? (Jaehee)

The party might become more interesting! (Jumin)

No way- They both don’t look like bad people. (nothing)

I’m worried that V might become baffled with all this. (V)

You don’t think V told those two to recommend only the weird guests to pretend to be holding a party, do you? (Unknown)

To rest during the evening, I must continuously work.. (nothing)

I should pick up and finish up the work I was doing- (nothing)

I’ll start my grand afternoon…! (nothing)

16:32 : Precious friend [V, Jumin]

V! Hi! (nothing)

Hello. (nothing)

Do you think the members were serious with their recommendations? (nothing)

I think it’ll be fun! (nothing)

Jumin, welcome. (nothing)

Two friends gathered in a chatroom^^ (nothing)

Rich people helping each other out - what a great world they live in. (nothing)

What kind of person is V’s father? I wonder what his impression is like. (nothing)

Did you exchange any secrets? (Unknown)

Ah, then you two should enjoy your conversation through the phone ^^ (V)

Is it a humiliating secret that you can’t share with me? (nothing)

Fathers are said to be close but distant as well. Especially in  case of father-son relationship…! (nothing)

Oh… You’ve become estranged. I’m a bit like that as well. (V)

V, you have a lot of secrets... What kind of secrets are you hiding from your father? (Unknown)

 It would have been better if you’ve told V before proceeding with it… (V)

I think it’ll be a good occasion to get together. (Jumin)

Can I go to that occasion? (Unknown)

I think it’s was Jumin’s way of being considerate of you- (Jumin)

V… you seem very uncomfortable with your father. (V)

Feels like your business will be a big hit! (Jumin)

You must have seen each other often since you both lived in the same neighborhood- (V)

Do you have any stories… like secrets regarding V? (Unknown)

Impressive; (nothing)

Church..? I don’t think that type of religion can heal people. (Unknown)

I want to hear memories of you two ^^ (nothing)

Who sang better? (nothing)

Cute - !! (V)

I think V would have won... (V)

So, who won? (nothing)

Please don’t say that, V. It’s not your fault. (V)

Yes… Sometimes an emotional decision can worsen the situation. (Unknown)

It’s going to get better little by little, V. (V)

Don’t you think this sadness isn’t something you can overcome? (Unknown)

V… don’t fall into too much despair, and try to cheer up! (V)

Bye. (nothing)

Though he looks very cool on the outside… I think he’s having a hard time. (nothing)

He wouldn’t think me as a replacement of Rika, would he? (nothing)

Is there anything I can do for V? (V)

I think Rika was more unfortunate. (Unknown)

I’m going to think of V… Bye. (V)

I’m going to take a break now! Take care! (nothing)

(Jumin calls)

18:24 : Explosion of Emotions [Yoosung, Zen]

Yes, I did. (nothing)

Umm… I did see it, though I didn’t understand quite well. (nothing)

Please calm down… (nothing)

Yoosung, you must be in pain... (Yoosung)

Doesn’t it feel like everyone is hiding something? (Unknown)

Hello – (nothing)

Welcome, Zen the Gorgeous - (nothing)

We were talking about Jumin. (Yoosung)

Yoosung is currently exploding with emotions. (Zen)

You should be nice to your relatives. (nothing)

Aunt and uncle? (nothing)

Whoa… isn’t that harsh? It was their daughter’s funeral…. (Yoosung)

Don’t you think Rika’s family affected her in a bad way? (V)

There seems to be a lot of drama... (nothing)

Rika was adopted? (nothing)

They’re a family. Didn’t they keep contact with Rika? (nothing)

I didn’t know since Rika had a bright image... (nothing)

I think V’s trying hard too. Why don’t you leave him alone for a bit….? (V)

It’s not easy to trust someone with secrets. (nothing)

 Lololol (Yoosung)

I think having someone next to you would help ^^; (Zen)

Yup. It is a heal-all-potion, the panacea. (Zen)

I don’t think that’s something… Yoosung needs. (Yoosung)

Zen said that to help you… but you just shake it off… (nothing)

Don’t treat Yoosung like a child. He’s an adult. (nothing)

Zen… it might reach him later on. (Zen)

I don’t think it’s a good idea to enforce your method. (nothing)

Everyone might become more light-hearted when everyone reveals the truth! (Unknown)

I wonder what V’s thinking... (V)

I’m glad that at least you’re acting more positively. (Zen)

His way of grieving might be out of this world! (707)

Seven maybe has a heart made of steel? (nothing)

If you ride the motorcycle, V will get worried. (V)

Riding your motorcycle? Through the wind- (nothing)

You can ride through the wind with a VR game. (nothing)

I hope you’re not taking your motorcycle for a trip around your neighborhood! (nothing)

Zen, you’ll look gorgeous even after sweating. (Zen)

  Visual Novel Yoosung

  20:11 : Reason behind the Curiosity [Unknown]

 Why does the background look different whenever you log on? (nothing)

You’re on your way here? Wow... (Unknown)

I was about to have dinner – (nothing)

I’m not in my room yet... (nothing)

I was resting. Doing this and that. (nothing)

Bzzzz! Wrong, you’ve got them all wrong! (nothing)

You’ve got a few right ^^ (nothing)

Um… don’t we need time to learn about each other? (nothing)

How much do you like me? (Unknown)

I feel… a tad suffocated. (Unknown – but not the best answer)

I actually feel good. (Unknown)

I acted naturally, not trying to pry out secrets. The ALs felt really natural…. (nothing)

It was fun today as well. V turned a bit more active. (V)

Give me a second... (nothing)

Yes! (nothing)

  Visual Novel :

I’ve been waiting for you! It’s great to see you. (nothing)

Aren’t you busy? (nothing)

You said you needed caffeine. (nothing)

You talked about a garden. (nothing)

I want to go to that garden fast. (nothing)

I’m not an idiot- (nothing)

It’s a little chilly. (nothing)

They’re beautiful…! (nothing)

Just what do you do here, Ray? Why are you so busy?

When will this game end? (nothing)

No, I’d like to try it some more. (nothing)

I want to finish it quickly and go home. (nothing but don’t make him cry ;-;)

But…just what is this place? (nothing)

I want to go back and rest! (nothing)

Already ? I don’t want to go back. I feel trapped in there… (nothing)

Let’s walk for few more minutes. I want to talk to you some more. (nothing)

(THAT ENDING THOUGH, IM DYING)

21:49 : Powder of the Coordinator ! [707, V]

Hi-ho (nothing)

Cleaning Fairy! Have you completed all your chores? (707)

Yes, it was great talking to V and all. (V)

Yes- I went for a walk in the gardens. It was great. (Unknown)

I don’t know... (nothing)

Yes! (nothing)

This time it’s an insurance scam? (nothing)

Heartwarming.... (nothing)

When can I receive reimbursement? (nothing)

Yes^^ (V)

I’m holding the phone right now. (707)

Wow! I’m so glad! (nothing)

I’m embarrassed ^^; (nothing)

What else did you find out apart from that? (nothing)

Wow…! (nothing)

You really didn’t come in very often before lol (nothing)

And what other kinds of information did you find out? (nothing)

Sure- (nothing)

A tad later, please. (nothing)

Feels great that he’s looking out for me! (V)

I don’t know… Perhaps he’s not sincere about it. (Unknown)

Can I change the channel? (nothing)

V said not to advertise. (V)

Let’s hear it out first. (nothing)

Done with the advertisement? (nothing)

I want to buy one for V. (V)

Where did the insurance ad go? (nothing)

Yes, I’ll order one box, please… There’s someone here who needs it… (nothing)

Good luck with your convenience store thing! (707)

Bye, Mr.Advertiser. (nothing)

V calls

23:07 : Another Level of Salvation [Jaehee, Yoosung]

  Jaehee, you should have some of Sevenstar drink…! (707)

Hello, Jaehee! You’re up late! (nothing)

I believe Seven will be able to avoid them without a problem. (707)

Troubled times, these times... (Jaehee)

I have a bad feeling about this... (nothing)

Why don’t you go to a shaman? Or hire an exorcist... (nothing)

Yes… I hope they stop before they create more victims. (V)

Um… Maybe it could actually save someone… That’s probably why deeply religious people look very happy. (Unknown)

Welcome- (nothing)

Yoosung, what have you been up to? (nothing)

No… We must stop him!!! (V)

Was it effective? (Unknown)

Are you ordering Sevenstar Drink!? (707)

Did you fall into the world of gaming? (Yoosung)

Isn’t that a virus..? (nothing)

Seems like a sign. (nothing)

Sob... (nothing)

Sniff… I smell something… the smell of a spaceship burning… (707)

Weren’t there any hidden information? (Unknown)

Start binge-gaming from now on. (Yoosung)

I’m thankful that he’s become brighter...  (Jaehee)

Go back to the game. (Yoosung)

I believe it’s a problem you eventually have to return to and solve... (V)

Sounds like good words, but it’s always better to do an adequate amount of good deed. (nothing)

She’s right! (nothing)

I can see how dangerous it is just by hearing it; (V)

It may be happiness to those that want to be saved by force... (Unknown)

Why don’t we, the RFA, inherit and continue that!? (Yoosung)

Yes… But we won’t be able to do as much as before. (Unknown)

It might not be fancy like salvation, but I will do my best. (V)

Eating might help you ease that stress. (nothing)

Yoosung, it might be time for you to look for professional help. (nothing)

I’m a bit suspicious lol (nothing)

Whoa, interesting! (nothing)

He looks too fishy. I’ll decline. (nothing)

Let’s invite him! I wonder what his next costume will be after the leopard. (nothing + answer to the email)

Yoosung, you’re leaving in a speed of light. (nothing)

Vent out stress by gaming! (nothing)

I think he just needs a way to vent out like that for now. (Jaehee)

He needs true salvation... (Unknown)

I think I should get some rest too. (nothing)

If you find it, please tell me as well! (V)

 Visual Novel Jaehee

Day 4 | V is here.

[that-black-parade]

V’s Route Walkthrough (Day 3)

[Previous Day | Next Day]

00:31 Under the Shimmering. Selection 1

I was waiting to meet you, Zen. (Zen)

I wanted to chill out more and then go to sleep. (Nothing)

Selection 2

The beautiful are sleepy heads…? (Zen)

I think your biorhythm will break living like that. (Nothing)

Selection 3

God, finally we’ll have some peace and silence. (Nothing)

Wow, you’re even humble! Such perfection! (Zen)

I actually want to see V’s photos! (V)

Selection 4

Zen, riding your bike under the moonlight… (Zen)

I wonder how Jumin will look riding the bike! (Nothing)

Are you in a motorcycle gang? (Nothing)

Selection 5

That’s the thing, you can never find your driver’s license when needed. (Nothing)

Share with me some photos of your driver’s license, if you have some. (Nothing)

Selection 6

It’s the same thing. Just do it. (Nothing)

Both are so perfect. How am I to choose!? (Zen)

Wow! It’s you when you were younger! (Nothing)

Selection 7

You’re here to see me!! (Nothing)

I want to chat with everyone together. (V)

Selection 8

Aren’t motorcycles dangerous? (Nothing)

Zen, you had an accident? (Nothing)

Selection 9

When you’re feeling frustrated and all, playing games are the best! 0% accidents! (Nothing)

What if something dangerous happens to you? (V)

You feel free as a bird when you ride with the wind. (Zen)

Selection 10

How exactly did the crash occur? (Nothing)

Tell me what happened back then. (Nothing)

Selection 11

It would have been serious if V didn’t follow you. (V)

V, you’re quite persistent. (Nothing)

Selection 12

V, you should take photos of someday as well! (V)

Trying to deny it by myself is too hard. I need some help here. (Nothing)

Selection 13

Flowers? V, were you Zen’s fan? (V)

Zen, what were you like back in the days? (Nothing)

Selection 14

Maybe you’re in a slump? (Nothing)

You still look promising. (Nothing)

Life is about rebounding back when you were considering quitting lol (Nothing)

Selection 15

I lie low for a while. (Nothing)

Do something that brightens your mood! (Nothing)

Forget about everything and let time pass by. (Nothing)

Selection 16

You seem to be coming in at late hours… Are you okay? (V)

V, do you normally clock in such late hours? (Nothing)

Selection 17

Have you ever heard of alcohol-related dementia? (Nothing)

Zen, I hope you get to shoot a beer commercial. (Zen)

V, you go well with wine! (Nothing)

Selection 18

Good bye! (Nothing)

Don’t drink to much! (V)

Selection 19

You have a lot to worry about. (Nothing)

I’m like that as well. (V)

Selection 20

I’m going to stay up late. (Nothing)

I think I should get going now. (Nothing)

02:46 Paradox of the Survival of the Fittest. Selection 1

Ray, why aren’t you sleeping? (Nothing)

We  connected as I wanted to see you as well! (Ray)

You seem to have a lot of work to do. (Nothing)

I was testing the game you gave me. (Ray)

Selection 2

If you have something to say, come over yourself. (Nothing)

There’s the modern convenience called the phone. (Nothing)

Selection 3

Wonder why it grew in two stalks. (Nothing)

Then it’ll bloom twice as much flowers! (Nothing)

Selection 4

I feel sad for the weaker stalk… (Nothing)

It could be that one of its like an extra giveaway, since it grew into two from one stalk.

Wouldn’t it be because only one had sunlight and the other had none? (Nothing)

Selection 5

There’s nothing you can do, it’s nature’s way of survival of the fittest.

I want to save the weaker stalk somehow. (Ray)

Selection 6

You’re right. The weaker stalk was the one that sacrificed! (Ray)

Throw it out and buy a new pot.

But for flowers to blossom, the weaker one should be stripped.

Rescue both. (Nothing)

Selection 7

Wow…I’ll look forward to it, Ray! (Nothing)

It’ll be a flower gained from the other’s sacrifice… (Nothing)

Selection 8

Yawn. I think the game you made is more interesting.

It was fun. With hidden morals and all… (Ray)

Selection 9

Are you going back to work? (Nothing)

Ray, when are you going to sleep? (Nothing)

07:00 Take Care of Your Health. Selection 1

Change you glasses into sunglasses lol (Nothing)

Why don’t you lower the brightness? (Nothing)

Selection 2

I’ll get ready to write it down! (707)

Huh. The name’s even suspicious for a start. (Nothing)

Selection 3

Isn’t that just a bunch of powders and not a drink? (Nothing)

Can I taste it? (Nothing)

Selection 4

Reports to police right now. (Nothing)

It’s not like the stakes are some kinds of market free-giveaways… (Nothing)

Selection 5

Send in an ingredients review document as well. (Nothing)

A match of outstanding product quality!! (707)

Selection 6

You don’t even know the prices at convenience stores? You must be joking! (Nothing)

Seems you have an innocent spot in you, Jumin. (Jumin)

Selection 7

You’re suddenly acting a bit pathetic. (Jumin)

Throwing it out down the drain…of something you made with great difficulty… T_T (707)

Selection 8

Catch your breath is important as well. (707)

In other words, you’re distracted. (Nothing)

Selection 9

You’re nodding to that? ;;;;; (Nothing)

Tell me more of this cleaning fairy. (Nothing)

Selection 10

Awesome! Why don’t we learn its secret cleaning methods at the party? (Email)

Cleaning fairy sounds too suspicious… (Nothing)

Selection 11

Huh; It’s Jaehee;; (Nothing)

Jaehee, good morning! (Nothing)

Selection 12

You are very persistent. (Nothing)

Too bad, you were this close to being successful in your fabrication. (707)

Selection 13

Jaehee, good luck today! (Jaehee)

You just came in. Are you already leaving? (Nothing)

Selection 14

Isn’t it enough to have one friend like V? (Jumin)

You really have only two friends? (707)

Selection 15

Can someone translate what Seven’s saying? (Jumin)

1011011… (707)

Selection 16

I thought it was funny lol (Nothing)

It wasn’t too far. It was way way too far.  (Nothing)

Selection 17

Stop getting distracted and get to work.

Don’t forget to bring Sevenstar Drink Version 2 when you come back! (Nothing)

09:13 Back in the Days. Selection 1

Did you get your license renewed? (Nothing)

Cat cafe. (Nothing)

A morning meeting of beautiful people? lol (Zen)

Jumin’s company? (Nothing)

Selection 2

I’m actually tired of seeing it since I’ve seen it numerous times. (Nothing)

I’m ready to hit Save. Please show it to me!!!! (Zen)

Selection 3

Oh! I suppose the roads were familiar to you— (Nothing)

When did you debut? (Nothing)

Selection 4

And the story goes that it was your girlfriend. (Nothing)

You must be happy. (Nothing)

Ooh, celebrity! (Zen)

Selection 5

What did photo did V debut with? (V)

It must have been worthwhile! (Zen)

Selection 6

Zen, I invite you to the room of mirrors. (Nothing)

Oh, um, yeah. Let’s put it like that. (Nothing)

Yeah, I think its harsh to compare appearances with you, Zen! (Zen)

Selection 7

I wanna be — most very best — (Nothing)

The one with Pickachoo!? (Nothing)

Selection 8

Great! I’ll catch Backpack Monsters by inviting him to the party. (Email)

I will decline as Ninpendo might get us because of copyright infringements. (Nothing)

Selection 9

Wow lol (Nothing)

Oh…sweet jesus…! (Zen)

My eyes are screaming out with joy! (Nothing)

Selection 10

Welcome! (Nothing)

Jaehee, our professional Zen-critic, can you please explain to us what kind of performance it was? (Jaehee)

Selection 11

I want to see that performance — (Nothing)

And like this, the number of photos in my folder increase one by one… (Jaehee)

Selection 12

AI role…? It must have been easy for an AI to play an AI role. (Ray)

Jaehee, your Zen-intelligence is really awesome. (Jaehee)

Selection 13

Truth is, I think I prefer V than Zen. (V)

Skin conditions are always better when you’re young… (Nothing)

Jaehee, have a glass of cold coffee right now before you run wild. (Jaehee)

Selection 14

t’s a meeting with V’s acquaintance, right? (V)

I want to know whom he’s having the meeting with — (Nothing)

Selection 15

It’s my father-in-law ^^ (Nothing)

V’s dad…I wonder what kind of person he is. (Nothing)

Selection 16

Silver spoon family class… (Nothing)

He would have received some hardcore education. (Nothing)

Selection 17

I like V’s humble attitude. (V)

They have few things in common, but they’re also different — (Nothing)

Selection 18

A visual world of their own… (Nothing)

I think they pair well together ^^ (V)

I think their relationship is… too glorified. (Nothing)

Selection 19

You do know that beer isn’t part of brunch, right? (Nothing)

Enjoy your meal— (Nothing)

Selection 20

Are you worried? (Nothing)

Does V know about this? (V)

Selection 21

You have one…called being a fan-girl. It’s your boyfriend and friend. (V)

It kind of bothers me that there’s a secret V keeps even form his friend. (Ray)

I want to be friends with V too. (V)

Selection 22

Bye— (Nothing)

Jaehee, have a great day today! (Jaehee)

12:22 My Best Friend. Selection 1

I did— (Nothing)

Not yet. (Nothing)

Selection 2

No…humans betray someday. (Nothing)

Of course! Friends are really dear. (Nothing)

Selection 3

Aren’t you working indoors all the time? (Nothing)

You’re friends with flowers ^^ (Ray)

Selection 4

Lisianthus. (Nothing)

I like lily-of-the-valley! (Nothing)

What’s the flower language of daffodils? (Nothing)

What’s the flower language of blue roses? (Nothing)

Selection 5

Um…I think I feel more close with the friends inside the game. (V)

You can! Thought more time would be needed. (Ray)

Selection 6

I’m jealous… (Ray)

Who is it? (Nothing)

Selection 7

Um, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it… (Nothing)

I don’t think you’re obsessed with me. I’m just glad that you seem to care for me a lot! (Ray)

I don’t feel it at all…I wish you’d be obsessed with me a bit more… (Nothing)

Selection 8

The Ray, are you working for this person? (Nothing)

Who is this person? (Nothing)

Selection 9

I want to be with you…! My mind will not change. (Ray)

When the party is held…I think I would want to leave here. (Nothing)

Selection 10

Bye! (Nothing)

I want to see you today, Ray! (Ray)

14:09 Small Cute Adorable. Selection 1

Every day is crossroad lol (Nothing)

Is something wrong? (Nothing)

Oh, Savior of Justice!! Has a villain appeared? (Nothing)

Selection 2

You’re a person receiving a salary. (Nothing)

What’s your real job? (Nothing)

Selection 3

I secured your portrait of the deceased. Thanks. (Nothing)

What a dangerous mission…I wonder if you can return safely…? (707)

Selection 4

Condolences to Jaehee’s eyes… (Jaehee)

I understand her. She must’ve been surprised to learn that your mission is a dangerous one… (Nothing)

Selection 5

Will a nude photo be next? (Nothing)

I think I’m already used to it now—^^ Hahaha. (Nothing)

I pray for your successful mission. (Nothing)

Selection 6

I’m curious of the next theme. (Nothing)

Do I need to feed the fairy with compliments? (707)

Such delicate plot…This messenger is truly awesome. (Ray)

Selection 7

Is 3 days enough? Won’t you need a week? (Nothing)

3 days…? (Nothing)

Selection 8

Got it. (Nothing)

…Let me hear it out first. (Nothing)

Selection 9

Oh! Compliment from the bottom of Jaehee’s heart! (Nothing)

I was about to recommend the first one!! (707)

Jaehee…you want to get out of this fast, right? (Jaehee)

Selection 10

Seven! Sell your car to me! (Nothing)

Cars are dreams! Don’t sell it! (Nothing)

Selection 11

Maybe it’s duty-free business? lol (Nothing)

Since it’s largely influencing the national economy…I think it’ll be larger that what we imagine… (Nothing)

Selection 12

Okay…Good bye. (Nothing)

It’s inevitable because of its size difference. (Nothing)

Selection 13

What is it…? (Nothing)

Selection 14

Not really. (Nothing)

I pay a decent amount earnestly. Thought not as much as Jumin… (Nothing)

I’m a person with a fragile wallet that gets billed with withholding tax. (Nothing)

Selection 15

Wouldn’t V’s mother hair color have been mint? (Nothing)

The father might have dyed his hair…. (Nothing)

V might have colored his hair… TT (Nothing)

Selection 16

You’re the son of a dragon? Whatever… (Jaehee)

I wish a dragon would come to the party… (707)

Selection 17

Let’s make an equal world for everyone together! (707)

Wouldn’t it be better if we invite those who can actually attend the party? (Jaehee)

Selection 18

Whoa… (Nothing)

lololol (Nothing)

It looks like a strong name. (Nothing)

Selection 19

Okay! Let’s invite it! (Nothing)

It’s not the right time to unveil the sealing of the dragon Smug, so I therefore decline. (Nothing)

Selection 20

Can the party be really held properly? T_T (Jaehee)

Wow— (Nothing)

Selection 21

You’ve put your effort in trying to find the most ordinary person! (Nothing)

So this person has nothing to do with the pilot you first mentioned! (Jaehee)

How is that person related to you, Jaehee?;; (Nothing)

Selection 22

We’re already too ordinary, and I don’t think we need to invite this person! (707)

We cannot decline someone like that! (Jaehee)

Selection 23

Whoa…are you going to fall now? (Nothing)

What are you talking about? I’m sure you’re not really through the sky… (Nothing)

Selection 24

Sound dangerous… (Nothing)

I want to try that! (Nothing)

Selection 25

I don’t think it’s a good idea to trust all of Seven’s words. I mean, we’ve seen him playing tricks a lot… (Jaehee)

A genius! (707)

I’d expect nothing less from someone V has appointed in charge of security. (V)

Selection 26

Didn’t he invite the vampire and udon…? (Jaehee)

The party might become more interesting! (Jumin)

Selection 27

I’m worried that V might become baffled with all this. (V)

You don’t think V told those two to recommend only the weird guest to pretend to be holding a party, do you? (Ray)

No way—They both don’t look like bad people. (Nothing)

Selection 28

I’ll start my grand afternoon…! (Nothing)

I should pick up and finish up the work I was doing— (Nothing)

To rest during the evening, I must continuously work. (Nothing)

16:32 Precious Friend. Selection 1

V! Hi! (Nothing)

Hello. (Nothing)

Selection 2

I think it’ll be fun! (Nothing)

Do you think the members were serious with their recommendations? (Nothing)

Selection 3

Two friends gathered in a chatroom ^^ (Nothing)

Jumin, welcome. (Nothing)

Selection 4

What kind of person is V’s father? I wonder what his impression is like. (Nothing)

Did you exchange any secrets? (Ray)

Rich people helping each other out — what a great word they live in. 

Selection 5

Is it a humiliating secret that you can’t share with me? (Nothing)

Ah, then you two should enjoy your conversation through the phone ^^ (V)

Selection 6

Fathers are said to be close but distant as well. Especially in case of a father-son relationship…! (Nothing)

V, you have a lot of secret…. What kind of secrets are you hiding from your father? (Ray)

Oh…You’ve become estranged. I’m a bit like that as well. (V)

Selection 7

It would have been better if you’ve told V before proceeding with it… (V)

I think it’ll be a good occasion to get together. (Jumin)

Can I go to that occasion? (Ray)

Selection 8

I think it was Jumin’s way of being considerate of you— (Jumin)

V…you seem very uncomfortable wit your father. (V)

Selection 9

You must have seen each other ofter since you both lived in the same neighborhood— (V)

Feels like your business will be a big hit! (Jumin)

Do you have any stories…like secrets regarding V? (Ray)

Selection 10

I want to hear memories of you two ^^ (Nothing)

Church…?! I don’t think that type of religion can heal people. (Ray)

Impressive; (Nothing)

Selection 11

Cute - !! (V)

Who sang better? (Nothing)

Selection 12

So, who won? (Nothing)

I think V would have won… (V)

Selection 13

Yes…sometimes an emotional decision can worse the situation.  (Ray)

Please don’t say that, V. It’s not your fault. (V)

Selection 14

It’s going to get better little by little, V. (V)

Don’t you think this sadness isn’t something you can overcome? (Ray)

Selection 15

V…don’t fall into too much despair, and try to cheer up! (V)

Bye.  (Nothing)

Selection 16

I think Rika was more unfortunate. (Ray)

Thought he looks very cool on the outside…I think he’s having a hard time. (Nothing)

He wouldn’t think me as a replacement of Rika, would he?

Is there anything I can do for V? (V)

Selection 18

I’m going to take a break now! Take care! (Nothing)

I’m going to think of  V… Bye. (V)

18:24 Explosion of Emotions. Selection 1

Yes, I did. (Nothing)

Umm… I did see it, though I didn’t understand quite well. (Nothing)

Selection 2

Please calm down… (Nothing)

Doesn’t it feel like everyone is hiding something? (Ray)

Yoosung, you must be in pain… (Yoosung)

Selection 3

Hello — (Nothing)

Welcome, Zen the Gorgeous — (Nothing)

Selection 4

We were talking about Jumin. (Yoosung)

Yoosung is currently exploding with emotions. (Zen)

Selection 5

You should be nice to your relatives. (Nothing)

Aunt and uncle? (Nothing)

Selection 6

Whoa…isn’t that harsh? It was their daughter’s funeral… (Yoosung)

Don’t you think Rika’s family affected her in a bad way? (V)

Selection 7

There seems be a lot of drama… (Nothing)

Rika was adopted? (Nothing)

Selection 8

I didn’t know since Rika had a bright image… (Nothing)

They’re a family. Didn’t they keep contact with Rika? (Nothing)

Selection 9

It’s not easy to trust someone with secrets. (Nothing)

I think V’s trying hard too. Why don’t you leave him alone for a bit…? (V)

Selection 10

Lololol (Yoosung)

I think having someone next to you would help ^^; (Zen)

Selection 11

Yup. It is a heal-all-potion, the panacea. (Zen)

I don’t think that’s something…Yoosung needs. (Yoosung)

Selection 12

Zen said that to help you…but you just shake it off… (Nothing)

Don’t treat Yoosung like a child. He’s an adult. (Nothing)

Selection 13

I don’t think it’s a good idea to enforce your method. (Nothing)

Zen…it might reach him later on. (Zen)

Selection 14

I wonder what V’s thinking… (V)

Everyone might become more light-hearted when everyone reveals the truth! (Ray)

I’m glad that at least you’re acting more positively. (Zen)

Selection 15

His way of grieving might be out of this world! (707)

Seven maybe has a heart made of steel? (Nothing)

Selection 16

Riding your motorcycle? Through the wind- (Nothing)

If you ride the motorcycle, V will get worried. (V)

You can ride through the wind with a VR game. (Nothing)

Selection 17

I hope you’re not taking your motorcycle for a trip around your neighborhood! (Nothing)

Zen, you’ll look gorgeous even when after sweating. (Zen)

20:11 Reason Behind the Curiosity. Selection 1

You’re on you way here? Wow… (Ray)

Why does the background look different whenever you log in? (Nothing)

Selection 2

I was about to have dinner — (Nothing)

I’m not in my room yet… (Nothing)

I was reading. Doing this and that… (Nothing)

Bzzzz! Wrong, you’ve got them all wrong! (Nothing)

You’ve got a few right ^^ (Nothing)

Selection 3

How much do you like me? (Ray)

Um…don’t we need time to learn about each other? (Nothing)

Selection 4

I feel…a tad suffocated. (Ray)

I actually feel good. (Ray)

Selection 5

It was more fun today as well. V turned a bit more active. (V)

I acted naturally, not trying to pry out secrets. The AIs felt really natural… (Nothing)

Selection 6

Yes! (Nothing)

Give me a second… (Nothing)

VNM — Selection 1

Aren’t you busy?

I’ve been waiting for you! It’s great to see you. 

Selection 2

You talked about a garden.

You said you needed caffeine. 

Selection 3

I want to go to that garden fast.

I’m not an idiot—

Selection 4

They’re beautiful…!

It’s a little chilly.

Selection 5

But…just what is this place?

Just what do you do here, Ray? Why are you so busy?

When will this game end? 

I want to finish it quickly and go home.

No, I’d like to try it some more.

Selection 6

Let’s walk for few more minutes. I want to talk to you some more. 

Already? I don’t want to go back. I feel trapped in there…

I want to go back and rest!

21:49 Power of the Coordinator. Selection 1

Cleaning Fairy! Have you completed all you chores? (707)

Hi-ho. (Nothing)

Selection 2

Yes. I went for a walk in the gardens. It was great. (Ray)

Yes, it was great talking to V and all. (V)

Selection 3

Yes! (Nothing)

I don’t know… (Nothing)

Selection 4

This time is an insurance scam? (Nothing)

When can I receive reimbursement? (Nothing)

Heartwarming… (Nothing)

Selection 5

Yes ^^ (V)

I’m holding my phone right now. (707)

Selection 6

I’m embarrassed ^^ (Nothing)

What else did you fin out apart from that? (Nothing)

Wow! I’m so glad! (Nothing)

Selection 7

And what other kinds of information did you find out? (Nothing)

You really didn’t come in very ofter before lol (Nothing)

Wow…! (Nothing)

Selection 8

A tad later, please. (Nothing)

Sure — (Nothing)

Selection 9

Feels great that he’s looking out for me! (V)

I don’t know…perhaps he’s not sincere about it. (Ray)

Selection 10

Can I change the channel? (Nothing)

V said not to advertise. (V)

Let’s hear it out first. (Nothing)

Selection 11

Done with the advertisement? (Nothing)

I want to buy one for V. (V)

Where did the insurance ad go? (Nothing)

Yes, I’ll order one box, please….there’s someone here who needs it… (Nothing)

Selection 12

Good luck with your convenience store thing! (707)

Bye, Mr.Advertiser. (Nothing)

23:07 Another Level of Salvation. Selection 1

Hello, Jaehee! You’re up late! (Nothing)

Jaehee you sould have some of Sevenstar Drink…! (707)

Selection 2

I believe Seven will be able to avoid them without a problem. (707)

Troubled times, these times… (Jaehee)

Selection 3

I have a bad feeling about this… (Nothing)

Why don’t you go to a shaman? Or hide an exorcist… (Nothing)

Selection 4

Yes…I hope they stop before they create more victims. (V)

Um…maybe it could actually save someone…that’s probably why deeply religious people look very happy. (Ray)

Selection 5

Yoosung, what have you been up to? (Nothing)

Welcome — (Nothing)

Selection 6

Was it effective? (Ray)

No…we must stop him!!! (V)

Selection 7

Did you fall into the world of gaming? (Yoosung)

Are you ordering Sevenstar Drink!? (707)

Selection 8

Seems like a sign. (Nothing)

Isn’t that a virus…! (Nothing)

Selection 9

Sniff…I smell something…the smell of spaceship burning… (707)

Weren’t there any hidden information?

Sob… (Nothing)

Selection 10

Star binge-gaming from now on. (Yoosung)

I’m thankful that he’s become brighter…. (Jaehee)

Selection 11

I believe it’s a problem you eventually have to return to and solve… (V)

Go back to the game. (Yoosung)

Selection 12

Sounds like good words, but it’s always better to do and adequate amount of good deed. (Nothing)

She’s right! (Nothing)

Selection 13

I can see how dangerous it is just by hearing it; (V)

It may be happiness to those that want to be saved by force… (Ray)

Selection 14

Why don’t we, the RFA, inherit and continue that!? (Yoosung)

Yes…but we won’t be able to do as much as before. (Ray)

It might not be fancy like salvation, but I will do my best. (V)

Selection 15

Yoosung, it might be time for you to look for professional help. (Nothing)

Eating might help you ease that stress. (Nothing)

Selection 16

I’m a bit suspicious lol (Nothing)

Whoa, interesting! (Nothing)

Selection 17

He looks too fishy. I’ll decline. (Nothing)

Let’s invite him! I wonder what his next costume will be after the leopard. (Email)

Selection 18

Yoosung, you’re leaving in a speed of light. (Nothing)

Vent out your stress by gaming! (Nothing)

Selection 19

He needs a true salvation… (Ray)

I think he just needs a way to vent out like that for now. (Jaehee)

Selection 20

If you fin it, please tell me as well!! (V)

I think I should get rest too. (Nothing)

[kpopfanfictrash]

99 and Marlowe

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jongin

Genre: Soulmates!AU (kWritersNet May Prompt) + Angst 

Prompt: “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

Rating: PG-13 

Word Count: 4,158

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:24 PM]

Marlowe578: hey 99, you there? [10:26 PM]

Marlowe578: just watched West World and thought it was complete crap [10:28 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I shouldn’t be surprised by this. I know you hate everything, but I let myself hope. [10:29 PM]

Marlowe578: I refuse to be lectured by a child. It was just so impractical… If the robots were that terrifying, why didn’t they just burn them or destroy them? [10:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: See, this is what’s wrong with you old folk. Thinking you know everything. Nothing is new. Tell me, Marlowe – have you ever seen a robot? [10:32 PM]

Marlowe578: I’ve seen Christopher Walken, that’s pretty damn close [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: lol [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: There was nothing you liked about it??? [10:34 PM]

Jongin sits back, almost smiling in the light of his computer screen. 99 is young, that much is obvious by her ellipses and hyperbole. Everything is new, fresh and intense with her. Maybe that’s why Jongin enjoys her company. He knows 99 is a she from a slip-up she made once, accidentally sending him her grocery list instead of a novel attachment. Jongin opened it and nearly choked – tampons and avocados being the first and second items on that list.

If he doubted 99 was a female before, he didn’t then. You were, of course apologetic. Sending cringe emojis and memes until Jongin finally typed STOP in all capitals. That did it – rarely did Jongin express emotion outside of bored amusement, so when he did people tended to listen.

These days though, if Jongin delves into anything deeper than antipathy it’s near impossible to escape.

Jongin sets his fingers against the keyboard.

Marlowe578: The special effects of West World were cool [10:36 PM)

99problemsBUTaSni…: Wow, hopeless [10:36 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that all you wanted to say? Message me and shit on my favorite TV show? [10:37 PM]

Marlowe578: hey, you’ve shat on plenty of my favorite things in the past [10:38 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Name one!!! [10:38 PM]

Marlowe578: Tesla, Schubert, Oscar Wilde, Proust… [10:39 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I said one [10:40 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Also, only pretentious people like Proust [10:41 PM]

Marlowe578: why hello, pot. Calling the kettle black. [10:41 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: hahaha Okay, I apologize. You gave me one suggestion that I love, so I thank you [10:42 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome for your introduction to higher culture [10:43 PM]

Jongin sits back, tapping his fingers against his wooden desk he’s had since 1982. He met 99 on accident when he entered the wrong chat room. Jongin was rather disgruntled at finding himself knee-deep in some Young Adult vampire teen novel and didn’t fail to make his displeasure known. As soon as he did though, 99 appeared.

Jongin was called a snob, a nitwit and a newt amongst other things that night. Most of her insults left him gaping, staring open-mouthed at his screen. The creativity of 99 was astounding, as was the speed with which she typed. Her words flowed like water, the sudden barrage of insults made all the more impressive by her fault-free grammar. Jongin actually laughed, the first time in a long time such a thing had happened and that was the beginning of his and 99’s friendship.

Sometime after that Jongin ended up telling her about the movie his URL was based on. Only Lovers Left Alive, a vampire movie released a few years back which still gave Jongin chills every time he watched it. His URL was an ode to a side character, Christopher Marlowe. In the film Marlowe is a vampire who writes most of Shakespeare’s plays in the sixteenth century.

Marlowe578.

The Marlowe part comes from the movie, 578 being the year in which Jongin was born.

It’s not unheard of, living for multiple centuries. Fifteen centuries, though – Jongin sighs. He’s an anomaly. Maybe it’s why he relates so much to that vampire movie. 99 is typing, Jongin watches her ellipses blink as he stretches his arms overhead. The noise of the city drifts through his open window, the only sound helping him sleep at night.

Jongin can’t relax without the background noise, without distractions that don’t require actual participation. It’s why he continues to lose himself in his worlds – in fiction, science, anything that’s not real life. It was a long time ago Jongin stopped caring for the real world. The real world hasn’t really worked out all that well for him.

Soulmate. The concept is intriguing, if somewhat unrelatable to Jongin at the moment. The idea of one person you’re destined for, another human who completes you. In a world with 7.3 billion people though, what’s the chance you’ll find that person during your lifetime?

Jongin imagines those odds would be slim, if it weren’t for the freezing. The freezing is the point where people age until twenty-ish and then just… stop. Halting their decay until meeting their other half. Once they find them, their soulmate – they start to age again. Slowly. Together. Jongin has searched for this person for 1,439 years. Frozen with this face, this body until his soulmate is found.

It seems like a long time, if he stops to think about it. It’s at the point though, where the passage of time has dulled any fear or sadness Jongin feels about his existence.

The saddest part of eternity is having to spend it alone. His parents, sister, friends – they’re all gone. Jongin watched them meet their soulmates. Watched them grow old, have families and eventually die. With each death, he felt the uncertain chasm inside him widen.

99 is young still.

99problemsBUTaSni…: I watched Only Lovers Left Alive again [10:44 PM]

Jongin sits up to respond.

Marlowe578: It’s one of my favorite things to introduce others to a thing that they love [10:45 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that what you do for a living? Professional hobby-finder? You might want to start with Trump. He seems bored, trolling Twitter and whatnot [10:46 PM]

Marlowe578: sigh. 99, I was trying to enjoy my evening. Now I’m over here thinking about a pumpkin tyrant [10:48 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: LOL sorry. So, did you leave the house today? [10:49 PM]

Jongin glares at his screen, hands falling off his keyboard. 99 knows his age, knows how antipathetic he is towards the world and seems to take certain pleasure in teasing him. Not in a mean way, 99 is never mean. She isn’t malicious even when she’s calling him a sniveling, cowardly nincompoop. She’ll say all this and apologize moments later saying she doesn’t know what came over her and really hopes you have a nice day.

99 enjoys pushing Jongin’s buttons. Loves finding his triggers and making him angry, happy, sad. Her pushing has led Jongin to do some rather stupid things over the past year. Bungee jumping, line dancing, going to the circus. All of which Jongin was instructed to report back following. That’s how long he’s been talking to 99 for now – just over a year.

Marlowe578: I left the house. Went to the park, stared at a few squirrels and wondered how it’s possible they haven’t evolved in over 1,000 years [10:51 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: But why would they need to? They’ve got us humans feeding them, extending their species [10:52 PM]

Marlowe578: true. The park was too sunny. I squinted at various children and ended up going home [10:53 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: It must be so strange to see you in person, since you’re an actual grandpa trapped in the body of a young adult. Does Hollywood know about you? [10:55 PM]

Marlowe578: we can’t all be a few years past our freeze date, still confident that the world will do right by us [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: : (  [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: She’s out there, Marlowe. I know she is. [10:57 PM]

Jongin shuts his eyes. Keeping them closed until there’s another ping from his computer.

99problemsBUTaSni…: If she never shows though, at least you’ll have me [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: an actual bundle of sunshine! [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the queen of quips! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the gatherer of geniality! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the minister of magic! No, wait that’s different [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: let me know when you’re done [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: … jester of joviality [11:01 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Omg a JOKE? A JOKE! THIS, FROM THE MONARCH OF MONOTONE [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: I don’t want to admit I’m laughing, but I am [11:03 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Good! Haha okay Marlowe, got to go – sleep is calling. Tell me the new thing you do tomorrow, k? [11:05 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: night! [11:05 PM]

Marlowe578: night [11:06 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:07 PM]

Marlowe578: sweet dreams [11:09 PM]

Jongin stares blankly at the page. Quickly, he shuts his laptop.

His bedroom is dark and he rubs his eyes, staring out the window at the concrete beyond. 99 isn’t real, she’s just a fantasy. An online persona, a portion of human that’s not whole. They might be friends, they might be friendly – but definitely no more than that.

99 wouldn’t think of Jongin in that way, anyways. She’s still in that phase of her life where everything is new, everything is exciting. Where possibility lies around every corner and the idea of her soulmate is still somewhere far in the future. A hypothetical concept, rather than tangible.

Jongin stands, stripping his t-shirt to toss this in a corner. His pants quickly follow, leaving him naked but for his boxers. As Jongin collapses on his bed, he stares up at the ceiling. Planning methodically for what he’ll do tomorrow.

Breakfast, sure. Eggs or maybe toast. He’ll work from home since Jongin is a computer engineer, one who takes government projects when he feels like it – mainly whenever he’s bored. It’s not like Jongin needs the money at this point, it’s more that he doesn’t like being idle. Jongin made his fortune early on. It’s not too difficult to do, given enough time and real estate. Jongin just likes working, likes something to do with his time that’s not thinking about the one thing he doesn’t have.

Jongin falls asleep slowly, the hum of his computer mingling with the street outside. Drifting over in waves until softly, he’s pulled under.

Jongin’s computer pings first the next night.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:50 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, are you up? [10:51 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:53 PM]

Marlowe578: good evening [10:54 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe… sigh. Today was absolute shit. [10:55 PM]

Jongin blinks at his cursor. This is unusual. Normally it’s 99 who consoles him, not the other way around. Slowly, he lowers his hands.

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:56 PM]

99 starts to type, then stops. Jongin pictures her erasing. Lowering her head in frustration before typing again.

99problemsBUTaSni…: My boyfriend broke up with me. [10:59 PM]

Jongin falls back in his seat. Ah. There it is, the answer to the question he didn’t even know how to ask. 99 is taken – or she was. It appears she’s now single, very much so. Bending forward, Jongin types back.

Marlowe578: he’s an idiot [11:00 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: He’s actually very intelligent. He went to a prestigious university, scored highly in standardized testing. [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: an intelligent, emotionally stunted idiot [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: haha [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I guess I knew this was coming. We’ve been dating for over a year and … no fireworks. No spark, no buzz, no zap. Aren’t you supposed to feel a zap when you meet your soulmate? [11:06 PM]

Marlowe578: you make it sound like a bug spray [11:06 PM]

Jongin stares at the screen for a while longer before he types again.

Marlowe578: my sister said it felt like sunshine. She was in the shade, beneath a giant elm tree when her skin… she said it glowed. Glowed, when she met him. [11:08 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: You have a sister? [11:09 PM]

Marlowe578: *had [11:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. This whole thing just … I’m sorry. My problems are unimportant, compared to that [11:13 PM]

A smile crosses Jongin’s lips.

Marlowe578: don’t be sorry. It’s not often I get to talk about her. She’s been gone a long time now [11:14 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m still sorry [11:15 PM]

Marlowe578: stop. Tell me what happened [11:16 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. He wasn’t my soulmate. I never felt that glow, I guess. But I still cared… He didn’t seem to think caring was enough [11:18 PM]

Jongin’s fingers curl into fists and he very slowly releases them. It’s infuriating anyone would hurt 99. She gives so much of herself – gives so easily and without judgement. Jongin wishes he could be like that. It’s not just the passage of time that’s made him this way – even when he was young, he was scared to be alive.

Scared of going outside his comfort zone, in case he was rejected. The idea of someone hurting 99 for being what Jongin never could be, makes him furious.

Marlowe578: he’s stupid if he thinks the love of soulmates is the only love that matters. All love is important, not just his [11:20 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Believe it or not, you just made me feel better J [11:22 PM]

Marlowe578: good. [11:23 PM]

Jongin settles back to stare at his screen. He’s about to say more when she responds.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Do you ever get scared? Scared your soulmate has already come and gone and somehow you missed them [11:25 PM]

Jongin can’t quite breathe. Without realizing it, 99 has hit upon the exact fear which keeps him up at night. What if his soulmate has already happened? What if they were already born, in the middle of living when they met their end. Though their bodies freeze around twenty, humans are still susceptible to harm.

Death by gunshot, stabbing, drowning, hanging. Anything could have happened to his soulmate – sweeping them from his life before they even entered. Leaving Jongin to be faced with an endless existence until his body disintegrates into the sun. He’ll never know that connection, never find the peace he craves. Somewhat shakily, Jongin types.

Marlowe578: Every day, 99. Every day I’m scared. [11:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. At least I’m not alone, then [11:29 PM]

Marlowe578: As long as I’m here, 99. You’ll never be alone [11:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Same. [11:31 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m going to go to sleep, Marlowe… I’m exhausted. [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Thank you [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: For being here [11:32 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome. [11:33 PM]

Marlowe578: goodnight [11:34 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:35 PM]

The next day, Jongin leaves his apartment. Maybe it’s 99’s influence, maybe it’s something else entirely. For whatever the reason, he decides to eat lunch outside. There’s a deli 99 told him about he’s been meaning to try. The problem has always been that they’re only open at lunchtime and don’t deliver – so it means Jongin would be forced to go in person.

When he steps out on the sidewalk, he squints uneasily into the sun before catching himself. He should at least try to be present. Walking through the city is disorienting. It’s crowded and noisy, two things Jongin greatly dislikes. If it weren’t for background noise, he would have left long ago.

The hustle and bustle flows around him, easing Jongin into the tide of people. He allows himself to be carried, pulled along by this wave of humanity. The deli is a few blocks away and Jongin manages to arrive relatively unscathed. Unscathed but for one, rather unsettling incident which occurs when he’s nearing the building.

It’s one block away when he feels it. The day is sunny, so for a second Jongin thinks he’s stepped from the shade. Thinks his jacket is too heavy but then – the oddest sensation passes over him. A light tingling starting at the base of his neck before wrapping around his chest, wrapping around his torso. It spirals down his arms, caressing his fingertips as Jongin’s gaze snaps up.

There’s so many people though – too many to see through and Jongin stumbles, gaze darting every which way. Though he moves fast, pushed on by the bustling crowd, the tingling begins to fade away. Soon it’s nothing and outside the sandwich shop Jongin comes to a halt. It’s been so long. Hundreds and hundreds of years and now that the moment is here, Jongin can barely think.

After a few minutes of standing there wild-eyed, he becomes aware he’s garnering attention. Slowly Jongin ducks into the deli, head buzzing as he steps up to the counter. He ends up ordering the completely wrong sandwich. It’s impossible to think, given the situation. Impossible to sit here in this small shop and eat so Jongin ends up taking his sandwich with him. Walking dazedly back to his apartment as he struggles with the nausea in his body.

What if he just lost his soulmate for good?

No – straightening his shoulders, Jongin takes a deep breath. This is good, this is a good thing. Jongin’s soulmate exists. They exist, they’re here and they’re in this city. Excitement growing, Jongin slowly – for the first time in years – allows himself a bubble of hope.

Later that night, his computer pings.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:05PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe!!!!!!!! [10:06 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:07 PM]

Marlowe578: your apartment had better be on fire [10:07 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: What, why? [10:08 PM]

Marlowe578: only a fire can warrant eight exclamation points [10:09 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: har-dee-har. If my apartment were on fire, why would I be chatting you about it? [10:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Anyways, I digress. Marlowe, something weird happened today [10:11 PM]

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:12 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay I’m going to sound crazy but… I think I passed my soulmate [10:13 PM]

Jongin can’t breathe. Can’t do anything but stare at the screen. His room is suddenly too small, too claustrophobic and for a solid minute he stares.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe? [10:14 PM]      

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay, I’m just going to tell you anyways. I was going to get coffee and this amazing warmth came over me… this tingling. I was warm and I was tingling and before you even make a joke no, I didn’t need to pee [10:16PM]

Slowly, Jongin exhales. 99 was going to get coffee. 99 passed her soulmate on her way to get coffee. There’s no way it could have been Jongin, since Jongin didn’t even leave his apartment before lunch. Slowly, he lowers his fingers to type. Jongin’s head feels heavy, his thoughts numb and for some reason he’s disappointed.

Marlowe578: did you see his face? wow, 99 [10:17 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Your enthusiasm astounds me. LOL no, I didn’t see his face. Just, you know – *the feeling* I think I’ll stake out the place tomorrow. See if he shows up [10:18 PM]

Marlowe578: you should do that [ 10:19 PM]

Jongin looks suddenly away from his screen. As he stares out the window he wonders why he’s feeling so upset by this. He hasn’t been upset by something in a long time and besides, he also encountered his soulmate today. Jongin also passed his soulmate and should feel excited by this. He should want to tell 99 all it, instead of worrying about the fact that 99 might very soon be leaving him.

Jongin turns back to his screen.

Marlowe578: 99, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep but we’ll talk tomorrow, ok? [10:21 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh. Yeah, sorry! Sleep well [10:22 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, wait [10:23 PM]

*Marlowe578 has exited the chat room* [10:23 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe…. what if you aren’t sure you want to meet your soulmate? [10:23 PM]

When Jongin wakes, he doesn’t let himself to think about his conversation with 99. Instead he showers, repeating his daily routine and quietly redirecting his thoughts every time they stray to 99. Today she’ll find her soulmate. Today she’ll leave him and Jongin will be alone. He might as well get used to that fact.

Around lunchtime, Jongin decides to walk towards the deli. If he’s going to be alone for the rest of his life, he might as well be alone with someone else. The thought makes him wince. This is depressing. His soulmate is a soulmate for a reason. They’re meant for him, he’s meant for them. The thought makes his stomach sink though, worry growing heavier with each step.

When Jongin enters the deli, he pulls the rim of his baseball cap lower. Staring at the other customers while trying to appear as though he’s not. He orders an iced coffee, taking a seat towards the back and watching people enter from the street. Nothing happens though, no pulse racing or no tingle and eventually Jongin opens his laptop.

The words of the café surround him as Jongin starts to relax.

“So, I told her that he was crazy. Four weeks is way too long to change a pillowcase.”

“No, love. You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“When I get home, okay? We can talk about this when I get home.”

He’s on page 254 of his book, halfway through chapter 25 when he hears the bell ding.

Heat blazes up his neck.

Jongin looks up, startled to make eye contact with the loveliest pair of eyes he’s ever seen. Slowly, the door falls shut behind you. The heat from his neck wraps his body, burning Jongin from the inside out. This isn’t just a tingle. His sister was wrong – this is a blaze, an inferno, a moment that swallows him whole.

You appear similarly entranced, staring at him with such sincerity that for a moment, Jongin doesn’t know where to look. That’s when the door opens behind you, smacking you upside the head and making you stumble. Jongin shoots upwards, forgetting his laptop entirely as he rushes across the room.

He comes to a stop before you, one hand on your elbow to steady you. The blaze has faded to a dull heat, pulsing through his body as you take a step closer. “Hi,” Jongin breathes, staring at you.

“Hi,” you say.

Jongin smiles. Your voice is warm, full of laughter and he can’t help but grin. “I’m Jongin,” he says.

“Y/N,” you respond, glancing over his shoulder. “Are you in the habit of leaving your expensive electronics out in the open?”

Jongin nearly laughs, raising an eyebrow instead. “Not usually, no.” He turns towards his table, looking back over his shoulder to see you follow. “I, uh.” He glances down at the floor. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either,” you confess, taking a seat before him. “Jongin,” you repeat, nodding once. “I like it. You know it’s odd,” you say as you survey his face. His deep, brown eyes. Sharp jaw and cheekbones. Soft, full lips. “I felt it yesterday when you passed me.”

Jongin’s lips lift. “I felt it too,” he murmurs, oddly shy for some reason.

“I didn’t want to meet you,” you add, watching his eyes widen.

“Oh?” Jongin seems surprised by this. “Why not?”

“I was just in a relationship,” you say, picking a spot on your jeans. “My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago. He said we weren’t soulmates and were wasting each others’ time. There’s also, well.” Here you pause, flushing when you look downwards. “There’s this guy. We’ve been talking online for about a year, discussing vampires and whatnot and I really thought I wanted to meet him.”

Jongin can’t move.

The room fades to black, then back into view around him. He scans you slowly, taking in your voice, noting your mannerisms. He looks at you again, seeing the Harry Potter keychain dangling from your wallet. It’s shaped like a snitch. Heart beating strangely fast, Jongin wonders if this is a moment of brilliance or insanity.

It can’t be you.

Slowly, he leans forward. “Did you… happen to get coffee yesterday afternoon?” he asks, your brow crinkling in confusion.

“I – uh, yes?”

Taking off his hat, Jongin sets this on the table beside him. He feels as though he’s going to be sick, feels delirious because – oh, you’re smiling again. “I just want to say,” he says, his voice low. “That boyfriend of yours is an idiot.”

Across from him in your tiny red chair, you stop moving.

Gaze lifting from your lap to his face while your expression shifts from confusion to something else entirely. “I,” you start to say, then stop. Your hand drifts to your mouth as you stare across the table. “He’s actually very intelligent,” you whisper.

Jongin’s smile widens, reaching to take your hand in his. Where he touches, there’s light. Sparks, fire - zip, zap, zop.

“99?” he asks softly.

Nodding, you lower your other hand to his. “Marlowe?”

“Jongin.”

kWritersNet May Prompt Event (soulmates!AU) + [3,000 Followers Drabble Game Master List]