#going insane still. every day. heard him cry for the first time that was Crazy. acting! but actually really for real ooc crying

[onlyswan]

summary: in which for you, jungkook would commit crimes and his mother would peel oranges.

idol!jk x reader | fluff, angst | word count: 9.5k

warnings/content: oc passes out in the shower / jk does something crazy i’m literally insane about this / baby bam cameo 🥺 / stitches >:( / blood draw / mention of speeding / jealous not but rlly jealous oc is pissed owfffff at the nurse who has a crush on jk lmao / jk and his mom loves them to death tho so obv who wins / love is beautiful let’s all cry <3

> in which masterlist!

note: *sitcom sound effect of crowd cheering* I’M BACK 🥰 hope u enjoy the product of my madness during finals season hehehe. and special thanks to my cutieful proofreader rio!! you’re one of my most favorite people i’ve ever met 🥺💕 + my beloveds who came to the rescue when i had medical questions !! i didn’t expect to receive help from soooo many and i’m so freaking grateful i could cri :")

—

“i ordered it the other day. how did it arrive so early?”

jungkook walks back inside the apartment, arms occupied by a stack of boxes that arrived in the mail yesterday.

he arrives at the living room, head tilting to the side in confusion when he realizes that the netflix show he was watching on the television is no longer playing. instead, there is the news channel.

he gasps.

“baby, you’re alive!”

your swollen eyes flicker up to him.

you’re lying on the sofa with your legs lazily dangling on the edge. there’s a toothbrush in your mouth, foam of bubbles between your lips, but your arm barely exerts the energy to make it do its job.

“you were asleep from afternoon to morning. do you know that? you’ve never done that before!” he exclaims, carelessly tossing the boxes on the floor. “i was getting scared!”

you only hum to acknowledge his existence, pushing yourself up from the sofa and unknowingly dodging the hug your boyfriend wanted to greet you with.

he ends up collapsing face first on the empty space you left, hurt and offended.

the bathroom door opens and closes.

he flips over, whining. “yah, we didn’t see each other for a day. didn’t you miss me?!”

still not a single word from you. sleeping that long must not have cured your exhaustion, jungkook surmises. you tend to be glum and cranky when you’re feeling unwell, as is usually the case when you wake up as unrested as before.

he doesn’t always know how to make you feel better, but he always tries anyway.

“our new bedsheets arrived!” he announces from the other side of the bathroom door, making himself loud so that you can hear him despite the shower running. “do you want to unbox them with me?!”

he allows the seconds to pass, but with his hands on his hips, he eventually begins to tap his foot on the floor.

“baby? may i go in?”

he turns the knob, just to be prepared incase the answer is a yes, but it doesn’t turn. a sad pout forms on his face.

huh? why is it locked?

you must genuinely don’t want to be bothered today.

“guess that’s a no.” he mutters to himself before calling out to you. “okay, i’ll wait for you!”

with a crestfallen sigh, he begins to walk back to the living room.

he doesn’t go far, however.

only several steps later, a series of loud crashes is heard from the bathroom and his heart thunders in his chest with a combination of numbing shock and fear.

“____, what was that?! did you fall?!”

he aggressively pounds at the door, extremely desperate this time around. he has no plans on leaving until he knows that you’re safe and sound.

“baby! open this! are you alright…? are you hurt? you’re scaring me. please, answer!”

he pauses, catching his breath as his mind runs a thousand miles per hour.

“____!”

he strikes the door with an open palm one more time, more so to express his frustration that is only growing worse with every tick of the clock. he only ends up hurting himself in the process.

“that’s it! i’m opening the door!”

he frantically whips his head around, racking his brain for the location of the key. there are two copies of it somewhere in the apartment, but in his panicked state, he is unable to pinpoint either of their specific spots. and he can’t fucking afford to waste any more time.

“ah, fuck!” he curses, left with no other choice but to give in to the instinct of breaking down the door with the strength and durability of his body alone.

he would most definitely break his shoulder first before the door.

only after the first try, that much is clear.

and so, with madness inconsiderate of his agony, he resorts to kicking it over and over again.

the repeated loud collisions rattles poor bam from his slumber. not long after, the dog’s barking creates a booming dissonance with his grunts and kicks at the door.

when it finally swings open, the force of his own body sends him stumbling on the bathroom floor, but he doesn’t waste time in bouncing back to his feet.

the twisting of his stomach is instantaneous.

there lies your naked, unconscious figure behind the glass— surrounded by bottles of hair and body products that must have fallen when your hands were searching for something to hold on to.

his voice cracks, breathless.

“baby, no… no, no, no.”

he kneels on the floor, and despite the strong urge to carry you out of there, he tries to calm down. it’s the first rule in every emergency case; professionals reiterate in seminars and news channel segments.

keep calm. keep calm. keep calm.

he won’t be able to forgive himself if he ends up causing more harm than good.

“____, can you hear me?!”

his instinct tells him to inspect every inch of you for any sign of injury, but then his vision becomes too blurry. he curses at the hindrance and forces himself to turn off the showerhead that was left running.

he harshly wipes his face, rushing back to you.

“please, please, please. wake up.” he begs.

he has a feeling that it’s futile. you can’t hear him and he’s wasting his breath. the thing is he doesn’t know what else to do.

“baby…”

he carefully turns your head over, almost relieved because he hasn’t seen blood so far.

almost.

at last, he gets a full view of your face, and he finds blood dripping. this has always been one of his most paralyzing fears— seeing you get hurt. now that it’s become a reality, there’s a part of him that wants to believe this is some kind of twisted dream.

“how- how did this even happen…?” he cries out, his own blood running cold.

for everything that happens after, his body acts on its own. bam is a constant presence in his peripheral, but he is barely in his right mind to acknowledge the presence aside from, “bam, move. daddy might step on you.”

he carries you out of the bathroom, kicking aside the beaten up door. he has made up his mind about bringing you to the hospital, but he can’t bring you like… this.

he lays you down on the bed, all that gentleness switched off in a split second so he can sprint to the walk-in closet. he hastily grabs whatever is on top of your neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants; and then a fresh towel on the way out. the gentleness returns as he pats your face dry, the pure white stained with dark red. he flips the towel and uses the other side to wipe the rest of your body, in a race against time but mindful of treating you like fragile glass.

once that is over, he dresses you in a pair of gray sweatpants, and with some difficulty, an orange t-shirt.

any person with functioning eyes will be able to tell that the shades don’t go together.

if you were conscious, you’d definitely berate him for making you wear this outfit.

but you’re not.

jungkook effortlessly swoops you in his arms— dripping wet hair, his and yours, leaving behind a trail of raindrops from your apartment floor to the cemented parking lot.

—

your body feels like it’s floating.

are you dreaming…?

you must be dreaming.

you hear an uncoordinated symphony of voices, but you can’t comprehend a word. in pursuit of clarity, you force yourself to open your eyes.

the voices grow a little louder. faceless figures hover you; a bright light shines over your face.

your senses must be playing cruel tricks. now it feels like you’re drowning, sinking into the unknown, and your body has succumbed into numbing defeat.

you want to sleep a little more.

you must truly be exhausted. it’s okay.

you’ve fought hard until now. you’ve done enough… has anyone tried in life as much as you did?

just as your eyes flutter shut, you regain sensation of your hand; a soft squeeze and a call of your name.

—

jungkook gently strokes your hair, sighing for the nth time since you got transferred to a private room. he’s relieved that all the scans came back clean so serious head and brain injuries have been ruled out. the doctor also asked him questions and ran some other tests before concluding that electrolyte imbalance caused you to pass out; the culmination of stress and fatigue from work, as well as your strong period, most likely being the main reasons. he didn’t even know about the latter until you stained the white sheets with blood.

it was fucking frightening being in the sidelines as they rushed to check on your vitals and to administer oxygen. even now, it’s unbearable to see you with a needle in your hand and a few stitches above your eyebrow. he already anticipated you not being pleased with having to get stitches specifically either; gasping and sitting up as soon as you heard the word come from his lips post-consciousness. consequently, the dizziness hits you. the doctor wasn’t happy about that.

“this is so annoying. i don’t want a scar.” you whine as you study your face on the camera of jungkook’s phone. “did i have to fall on my prettier side?”

“what are you saying? you’re pretty from any angle.” he interjects. “be careful. the wound might open up.”

you jut out your bottom lip, looking up at him with glassy eyes. the sight instantly tugs at his heartstrings, and he pulls you in for a hug. maybe he’s a little sad that you don’t appear concerned about the fact that you passed out, but god is he relieved to finally hear your voice again.

“ah, i should call the doctor.”

but his face remains buried in your hair.

“they told me to do so.”

“you should-”

“why?!” he abruptly reacts, drawing back. “does anything hurt?”

“chill. you said that they told you to.”

“oh, that’s right.” he sheepishly smiles. he can’t help but to overreact; he hasn’t turned off the alarms in his head. “i’ll go tell the nurse to get her.”

he starts to walk towards the door, but a tug at his shirt holds him back.

you shyly look at him with a scrunch of your nose. “i’m nervous. hug me for five more seconds.”

fuck, he would move heaven and earth to protect you from everything that can cause you harm.

“why would you be nervous? i’m right here.” he scolds you lightheartedly, not hesitating to seize the chance to hug you again. “i love you.”

“i love you more.”

you pull away after five seconds, and he’d be disappointed about you being too true to your words if you didn’t kiss him on the cheek so ardently.

his heart almost jumps out of his chest when you gasp out of nowhere as if you just realized that you left the gas tank open at home. your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“bam!”

oh, right. your child.

“my brother’s house!” he eases your mind.

you breathe out in relief, the heel of your palm pressing against the left side of your chest where your heart lives. “good… i was worried. he was probably more scared because he didn’t understand what was going on. i feel bad.”

you love bam so much; it makes him so happy. you’re so concerned about him even when you’re the one on the hospital bed. you make pretty good parents, huh?

“that’s right. he was worried about you, too. that’s why you need to recover quickly so he won’t be sad!”

—

the doctor kindly asked jungkook to give the two of you some time alone, so he’s been idly sitting at the lobby after buying a bottle of water. he’s pretty much used to visiting the hospital for routine checkups considering the nature of his job, but it always feels strange to be here for the other different purposes of the place.

is there any other building sadder than this?

if you heard him utter this question, he could easily predict what you’d say: but is there any other building with more love?

if he tries hard enough, he could listen to your voice and paint you in his mind.

you see love in every place that you step foot into.

his curious eyes continue to wander around. he spots people carrying flowers, baskets, and containers of food. there’s also a teenage boy in his high school uniform, carrying a teddy bear larger than him.

not that he wants you to stay longer, but if you have to, he writes down a mental note to bring one of your favorite plushies.

he eventually gets tired; considers scrolling on his phone again, but he decides against it when his gaze lands on a little boy sleeping soundly on his mother’s lap. suddenly, he is reminded of his childhood before he moved to seoul.

how simple life can be when you’re innocently sleeping on your mother’s lap, trusting that everything will be alright.

“ah, i miss my mom…” he utters absentmindedly. “i miss my mom so much. i should call her.”

his reminiscing is interrupted when a wheelchair rolls by infront of him. it is leisurely being pushed by an old man who wants to bring his wife outside for some fresh air.

in a parallel universe somewhere, jungkook can imagine them as you and him.

he sits up straight, looking back at the clock on the wall.

how long has it been? he wants to be by your side again.

—

“jungkook!” your face lights up as soon as your boyfriend steps into the room. “what took you so long?”

“i know. sorry, baby. i got a little distracted outside.”

“i’ve been waiting.” you pout. “why? were people bothering you?”

“not at all. don’t worry.”

you pat the empty space beside you. “here.”

“i think the bed is meant for only one person- damn, okay, okay-”

he swiftly gives in upon seeing the hurt on your face, occupying the space you reserved for him. “i love you. don’t be sad.”

you’re aching too much to wait for him to get settled. you wrap your arms around his waist like you’re a magnet attracted to steel, clinging to him for comfort.

if you’re being honest, you don’t know how you feel about being in this situation. overwhelmed? maybe a tiny bit relieved. in the past, it didn’t matter whether you were sick or not. you needed to work or else it was guaranteed that you wouldn’t survive. life is easier now. you have the luxury to use this as a reason to take a break. you have someone who takes care of you as naturally as he breathes.

“how was the doctor?”

“she’s nice… she just asked me about the things i remember before i passed out. then about my work, diet, sleeping schedule… stuff like that.”

you pull away a little, just enough so you can see each other’s face. you squint at him suspiciously. “did you have to get an expensive room?”

he chuckles. “how did you know? they didn’t tell you that, did they?”

“i literally have the perfect view of the fountain from here!” you point at the large window behind you. “i just passed out. i would’ve been fine downstairs.”

“don’t say it like that. it could’ve been so much worse.” he says with knitted eyebrows, palm cupping the back of your head and caressing softly.

he heaves a sigh.

“i was so scared that you injured your head. seriously, i thought i’d go insane if i lost you! i went past the speed limit driving you here!”

the distress he was under is apparent. you can’t help but to be racked with the guilt. you always do this, making him worry himself to death. you don’t usually do it purpose, and that only makes you feel shittier.

“you’re right. i’m sorry.”

“well, i…” he sighs. “it’s okay. i know you didn’t want this either. it’s not your fault.”

you press your lips into a thin line. “it kind of is.”

your lost eyes meet, and a connection is established like it’s a constellation sending a secret message. your heart flutters when he giggles, dimples and starry eyes and crinkled corners.

“stop it. it’s impossible to scold you when you’re so cute and self-aware.”

“then don’t scold me.” you sniffle sadly to kindle pity in him. “i’ve had enough of it from the doctor.”

your brain still works well enough to help you escape from trouble. that’s a good sign, right?

“my poor baby.” he coos, cradling your cheeks.

his hands are warm. you put yours over them; a wordless signal telling him you don’t want him to go away.

“let’s not get hurt again, please. we need to stay healthy and take good care of ourselves so this won’t happen again, alright?”

you nod in obedience. your eyes are fixed on him but you’re not certain if you’re registering what he’s telling you in your pitiful, shaken brain.

“the hospital already did me many favors. if we go back, i might have to build them another fountain as a gift.”

and knowing jungkook, with his golden heart and his black card, jokes become half-meant.

“what do they need that for?!”

he bursts out laughing, yet again, after you chide at him for his ridiculous and unnecessary expenses.

“nothing, i’m just grateful! i was really so scared but i’m relieved now thanks to them. i can’t remember the last time i felt that way.”

“you’re not scared of a lot of things.” you point out.

“that’s right.” he agrees. “only you scare me these days.”

you grimace. “am i scary?”

“you are, sometimes.” he laughs, squishing your cheeks together. “but i mean the things that could hurt you.”

as if on cue, your stomach grumbles and bellows like a monster stuck in an empty cave. your eyes grow twice its size in bewilderment, which then morphs into embarrassment.

“my stomach hurts.” you say quietly.

your nostrils flare as jungkook miserably fails to hold back his laughter. one of his hands leave your face, rubbing your tummy over the thin hospital gown.

“oh no, what are we going to do? where does it hurt? here?” he pouts. “should we go feed you now to make it go away?”

“what is wrong with you?” you slap his shoulder in annoyance. “i’m not a baby!”

“yah, be careful!” he yells, wincing as if he is the one in pain. “be gentle with the one with the iv!”

—

“you know one good thing that came out of this?” you gush out of nowhere.

you’re mixing up the ingredients of your bibimbap bowl with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks.

jungkook noisily drinks the final sips of his banana milk. afterwards, he makes a game out of shooting the box in the trash bin.

“what could that be?” he asks, doubtful.

he sits on the chair beside your bed. you greet him with a delighted grin, licking your thumb stained with gochujang.

“you proved your love. you committed a crime for me.”

he gasps to humor you, body freezing as if he’s currently processing the newly-learned information in his brain.

“oh? you’re right- i did! and you know what? i’d do it again!”

with a mouthful of rice, you shake your head in disagreement furiously. “you’re cute. but that’s the first and last.”

“but how are you sure that it’s the first?” he raises an eyebrow quizically.

silly enough, you envy him for being able to do so.

you hum in thought. “i guess you’ve stolen a few things for me, too.”

“few? you mean a loooot?”

“you’re the one who brings home food and random things.” you roll your eyes. “i never ask you to.”

“you told me you wanted the service bell!”

you feel yourself become flushed with sheepishness. he’s not lying. you’ve always found the object fascinating as a child, so you couldn’t help but to tell him to sneakily take one home after filming a competitive run bts episode.

did you have a silly phase where you and jungkook used it to summon each other just to laugh together about it?

perhaps.

“well, you’re rich. you could’ve bought me one instead.”

“but it was already there.” he reasons with a wide grin, gesturing infront of him. “i wanted to give it to my lover right away.”

his lover?

jungkook has successfully replaced your frown with an enamored smile.

“i made your heart flutter just now, didn’t i?”

a hospital stay has never felt this comfortable— not terrifying. you have stitches on your face and to add to that, this hospital gown feels super unflattering. somehow, your boyfriend’s loving gaze remains steady and you are melting.

“shut up,” you mutter, flustered, handing him the pair of chopsticks. “please eat with me. i can’t finish this on my own.”

—

“why would you let them put the needle in my dominant hand?”

you stomp your feet on the ground as jungkook squeezes some toothpaste onto a newly-bought toothbrush.

“i’m sorry! i was too stressed out so i just pointed! i think i got confused with- with left and right.”

you didn’t realize this while you were eating; that you were unconsciously holding the spoon with your non-dominant hand because the other felt uncomfortable. maybe because it was a simple task, scooping food and bringing it to your mouth. brushing your teeth, on the other hand… can be quite an arm workout.

“eeeee!”

he shows his complete set of teeth, urging you to do the same. you stare at him blankly.

“eeeee!” he repeats with heightened enthusiasm.

left with no other choice— you copy his awkward smile.

“there we go!” he praises you with an over-enthusiastic beam.

he carries on to brush your teeth, gingerly holding your chin to keep you steady as he does his job.

this is the first time jungkook is doing this for you. today is definitely not one of your finest moments. it feels a bit silly to be in this situation, and you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in this position in the first place. you can see that he’s trying his best—unnecessarily focused—and that he loves you, but you just hate giving him a hard time.

with a soft smile, he wipes the bubbles that overflowed past your lips.

“okay, spit.”

you spit out more of the bubbles on the sink. you assume that he’s finished, except he’s making another vowel sound for you to mimic the mouth shape of.

“ahhhh-”

“this is embarrassing!”

“baby, really? this is where you draw the line?” he playfully squeezes your cheeks together. “it’s almost over! ahhhh!”

and you let him do this thing, but not without a glare that is masking the embarrassing truth: you might be enjoying this more than you care to admit.

“see? was that so bad?”

as he tenderly pats your face dry in the aftermath, he says: “i’m sorry. bear with it a little more. let me take care of you so you’ll be healthy again.” and you feel every ounce of his sincerity pierce through the barriers surrounding your soul.

“stop it…” your voice suddenly comes out broken.

you want to put all the blame on your period for the tears that are now brimming your eyes, but jungkook is your biggest weakness of all and that is an explanation enough.

“why are you crying?” he panics. “what did i say?”

“it’s your fault.”

you break down into loud sobs, incapable of even keeping your eyes open. you never understood why we close our eyes when we cry, but right now, you know that you can’t bear to witness his reaction.

“you’re so sweet.”

the towel that was wiping the water from your mouth is now drying the tears from your stained cheeks.

“am i making you sad?”

you furiously shake your head. how could he say such a thing? he is the greatest joy of your life.

“no?”

“no!”

“okay, come here then.”

he wraps his arms around your trembling figure, caging you in the solace of his entire existence. a sense of calmness washes over your system, especially as he runs his hand across your back in gentle strokes. this isn’t his goal though, it seems. you hear none of his quiet shushes beseeching you to stop breaking his heart. he hopes you let go of everything that has been weighing on you, but he has already eased all your pains by loving you.

“ugh, i probably look horrible right now.” you force a chuckle to lighten up the mood, wiping your face with the back of your free hand. “i feel gross.”

“that’s not true.” he gazes at you fondly, brushing your hair with his fingers. “it’s actually infuriating how you look so beautiful still.”

“i know. i’m nice to look at; that’s why you tolerate my attitude.” you conclude in jest.

“yeah, sometimes.” he rides on the joke.

“what…?”

“i’m joking!” he rushes to take it back with a laugh. “of course i’m joking!”

you pout. “are you really?”

“oh, come onnnn.”

he coaxes you with a kiss on the lips— a good morning kiss long overdue. you’ve been spoiled rotten with affection; he knows you need more than one. he interrupts himself several times to kiss you.

“you know i’ll love you until our hair turns white and our skin all wrinkly.”

to be brutally honest, you’re not fond of imagining that far ahead. it’s daunting. you doubt your capability to age with grace. you’re horrified by the thought of having the majority of your life behind you. nostalgia has always been more bitter than sweet. but maybe this memory could be the sweetest of all, if jungkook truly stays by your side until then. in a cottage at the countryside like he said once, or a cabin by the ocean.

you’re both so young; so arrogant when it comes to making promises that are a shot in the dark. so fucking in love.

“me too.” you half-smile, scrunching your nose— a telltale sign of your joy. “now, get out. i really need to pee.”

his face becomes drained of blood. “but you’re st-”

“i won’t lock the door this time.” you cup his cheek, looking at his eyes reassuringly. “we don’t need property damage added to the bill.”

—

“did you not hurt yourself?”

“me?”

“you broke down the door. that’s not easy to do.”

you and jungkook make the best out of a bad deal. you’re squeezed together on the bed, browsing through television channels that seem to never end.

“it was easy because you were on the other side of it.”

that is what he claims confidently, but you are not fully convinced.

“wow, why do they have more channels than we do at home?”

“you didn’t answer my question.” you pout. “did you hurt yourself?”

“i didn’t hurt myself. i’m totally okay. i promise.”

he maintains eye-contact as he speaks. given the assurance, your tight chest unrestricts. jungkook is not a good liar. it’s a trait that causes him inconvenience every now and then, but it helps you to sleep soundly at night.

“should we just watch funny animal videos on youtube?”

“i guess that’s fine.”

it doesn’t show but you feel excitement run in your veins aside from the iv fluids that feel peculiarly cold.

from under your cheek, his chest vibrates with a giggle. “okay, hold on.”

as he pulls up the application, you tangle your legs together beneath the thin blanket. you hear the rapid tap tap tap of the remote control navigating the keypad while he types on the search bar, but your attention is someplace else. you’ve found the crook of his neck to sneak into, lazily kissing every inch of his exposed skin. your lips eventually trail up to his jaw. he smells so nice. you’re addicted.

“baby, someone can enter any minute.”

“i’m not doing anything.” you mumble.

you smile against his lips when he gives you a kiss as sweet as honey anyway.

“i’m curious about another thing.”

“what’s that?”

“did you cry?”

he comes to a still. the answer to that question requires a little time and thought.

“almost…”

“why almost?”

“no time. i had to bring you here, of course.” he replies.

you huff a laugh, exhaling a twinge of melancholia. “don’t cry.”

“i won’t. i’m happy now because you’re awake and fighting with me.”

“ow-”

your cry of pain is silenced when he squeezes you in an embrace that makes it nearly impossible to breathe.

“red panda!”

a squeal assaults both of your hearing as soon as your eyes land on the wide screen infront of the bed.

“i want one so fucking bad.”

the enunciated curse makes your boyfriend crack up in amusement. “that much?!”

—

jungkook opens his eyes to a nurse lightly nudging him awake.

“i’m sorry, i had to wake you up. i need to check vitals and draw blood.”

“shit, i’m sorry.” he panics.

his brain is foggy from the nap, but he still carefully sits up on the bed, wary of the iv line connected to your hand.

“i… was tired and i fell asleep.”

“it’s no problem; don’t worry.”

she smiles at him, but he doesn’t see it.

“you look adorable sleeping.”

“ah, really?” he awkwardly responds, absentminded. “it’s embarrassing.”

he stands on your side, about to disturb your peaceful rest much as it makes his heart ache with guilt, but you’re already stirring due to the absence of his warmth.

your heavy eyelids blink at the nurse in curiosity. “oh… do you need my blood?”

“yes, but i’ll take your blood pressure and temperature first.”

“okay,” you mumble, offering your arm. “it might be higher now because i’m scared.”

she chuckles at your joke. jungkook tries to share an endeared look with her and non-verbally communicate adorable, right?

“i promise i’ll be quick. although we definitely want it to be higher than earlier’s.”

you wince as the cuff around your upper arm goes as tight as it could, and you sigh at the same time that it begins to deflate.

“good, good, good,” she chants with a mumble. “it’s back in the normal range again…”

she brings out a digital thermometer from her pocket.

“you know where this goes.”

she hands it over to you, and you awkwardly place it in your armpit, holding it in place. it’s quiet as you wait for the device to make the beeping sound, except for her pen creating friction with your chart as she takes down notes.

“how’s your stitches? do you feel any discomfort?”

“it’s fine. thank you.”

not long after, you hear the beep. you return the thermometer to her, but not before taking a peak at the numbers displayed on the tiny screen. 36.8°C. you think you’ll live.

“i’ll draw your blood now.”

the nurse’s voice is sweet and reassuring, but it doesn’t quite ease the nervousness evident on your expression. your pupils shake as you watch her disinfect the area, and then comes out the long needle.

another one, jungkook laments inside.

“____, i’m right here.”

you crane your head, whimpering out his name. “jungkook,”

“it will be just a pinch. i’m inserting the needle now, alright?”

you take a sharp inhale.

if only he could switch positions with you, he would do it in a heartbeat. unfortunately, all he can do is caress your hair and whisper that it will be over soon.

“it hurts.” your damp eyelashes flutter, face twisting in discomfort. “i don’t like it.”

really, just a pinch? obviously a lie.

“hey, baby. look at the tv.”

the autoplay was left turned on after you fell asleep together. inside the screen is a puppy rolling around a snow-covered lawn. the wagging of its tail, the wide smile, and the pupils as big as boba balls: they all scream the happiness of an innocent.

“it’s so cute… i miss bam already. can we go to a dog park again?”

“of course!”

that promise sparks your smile. you turn to your side, and jungkook also catches a glimpse of the cotton taped to where you were poked.

“all done. you can go back to resting.”

“thank you. will you need to take blood again?” you inquire at the nurse.

“hm, probably. it depends on the doctor based on the results we get from this one.”

“can’t you just do it while i’m asleep? or is that not allowed?”

“baby…” jungkook snorts, hiding his face behind the palm of his hands.

the nurse laughs at your desperate suggestion. “that is honestly not a rare request, but the thing is… you might wake up in the middle of it and injure yourself. we can’t do that.”

“that won’t be a problem!” you passionately argue your case. “i’m a deep sleeper. seriously!”

“ah, thank you so much for your hard work!”jungkook intervenes, bowing to the nurse out of respect and gratitude. “i’m sure you’re busy. i will handle this!”

“oh yes, yes- thank you. please don’t forget the medicine for after dinner.”

“i won’t!”

“if you need anything, you know where to find me again.”

“yes,” he nods, chuckling. “thank you.”

“then i should leave…? but you’ll see me again later! bye!”

the door shuts, and his attention lands on your unimpressed form: a blank stare and arms folded infront of your chest.

uh-oh.

“did she seriously wink while saying that?”

“what?” he freezes, genuinely clueless. “i don’t know. i didn’t see anything. i was looking at you.”

“i’m right here- i’m the patient. why would you need anything from her? huh? why is she so excited to see you again?” you ramble angrily.

“right?!”

he climbs on the bed, reclaiming his spot next to you.

“that was weird.”

“what if she made it hurt on purpose? that…” you frown, glancing at your arm. “that didn’t really feel like a pinch to me.”

“ey, calm down. she wouldn’t.” he makes a doubtful face, laughing off the accusation. “…i don’t think so?”

you blink, exhaling in disbelief. “are you taking her side now?”

“of course not! baby, i’m just saying… a professional won’t do that.”

“why not? she’s still human. humans do stupid things when they like someone. she obviously likes you.”

“and so what?”

he grins with a spark of mischief, leaving an inch of a distance between your lips.

“i’m obviously yours.”

but you turn your cheek and your eyes fall on your lap, a pout highlighting your downcast mood.

“it’s so annoying.”

the regret sinks in after. he should’ve stuck to the golden rule: agree with everything that you say. there’s no point in having an argument no one will win. does it matter who’s right and wrong if each other’s sadness is contagious in addition to their own? your gut has almost always been right, and he’s old enough to be conscious of not allowing a stranger to put a dent on your relationship.

“are you serious? are you uncomfortable?” he tilts his head to try and get a better look at your face. “should i request for a different nurse?”

it’s quiet for a beat and he feels inclined to fill the silence with whatever enters his mind.

“i love you.”

almost immediately, your features soften and he knows your heart is also melting. the two of you bite the inside of your cheeks to hide a smile.

“no, there’s no need for that.”

but he still can’t help but to be worried. your peace of mind is his top priority. he doesn’t want you to be more stressed out, especially by things that he has the power to solve.

“are you sure?”

“she pissed me off. i need to piss her off too.”

of course, his ever stubborn and competitive lover. he sits up properly, amused and curious.

“and how will you do that?”

“i don’t know,” you nonchalantly shrug. “i’ll come up with something.”

—

“come up with what?”

to your surprise, a voice you haven’t heard in weeks echoes from the door.

“mom…?”

you’re stunned after only hearing yourself react to jungkook’s mother’s unexpected entrance. your head whips to his direction; your eyes wordlessly interrogating him.

“i need to go to work so i called her to watch over you.” he explains.

“why would you do that?” you argue with him as quietly as possible, lips barely moving as you try to hide your face from your mother-in-law. again, not one of your finest moments. “you didn’t have to. i can take care of myself.”

“but you don’t have to because you have us.”

jungkook marks the conversation finished with a kiss pressed to your temple, leaving you dumbfounded. he jumps off the bed and for a split second, you make eye-contact with his mother before he towered over her for a quick hug.

her kind smile is embroidered in your memory; a memory that wraps your heart in a type of warmth only a mother can provide.

“mom! i’m sorry. i really, really, really need to leave now. but! i’ll try to come back early so you can go home early too.”

“aigoo, stop stressing yourself out.”

jungkook receives a slap on the back, somehow more loving can scolding.

“i can stay the night so do what you need to do. you don’t have to worry.”

“it’s not only because i’m worried!”

she sassily puts a hand over her waist. it takes everything in you not to laugh out loud.

“then what else?”

“mom! what else?” he cheekily smiles. “of course i’ll miss ____ too much.”

did your boyfriend just…? to his mother? your jaw becomes slack from the shame.

“i missed ____ too!” she contests. “go to work and give us our alone time.”

you shyly smile when she transfers her attention from her son to you.

“hello, my baby. are you hungry?”

—

“does my son feed you well?”

“he does! but it’s funny- other mothers ask the opposite. are you feeding my son well? do you make sure he’s comfortable?”

you think out loud, transfixed on how she peels oranges with ease. your hands would always be stained by the juices, (and eyes red and teary from accidental splashes) (it’s too embarrassing to even think about) but hers are still magically clean.

“is that so?”

you graciously accept the slice she feeds you. she laughs when your face lights up like a christmas tree one more time. it’s way sweeter than you anticipated. you can’t get over how delicious it is.

“mhmm!”

perhaps you relied too much on dramas when it came to your expectations of what a relationship with your in-laws would look like. you imagined yourself running around like a dog trying to prove yourself worthy of their son, yet for some reason, it looks like they adore you for simply existing. it makes you feel extremely grateful, but you don’t understand.

“mom, i have a question… i know it’s probably too late to ask this now, but…”

“what could that be?”

“are you really not against me and jungkook living together?” you swallow your fear of the possibility of an unpleasant truth. “are you not… worried… that i’m receiving too much from him?”

because you would understand the apprehension. as a parent, one’s main concern would be their child. to outside eyes, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that jungkook is being taken advantage of and he’d be better off dating someone with the same status. sometimes you wish you were that someone too.

she utters your name sadly.

“he receives happiness and love from you. those are the most valuable things you could give to a person.”

she caresses your hair like she wants to erase the anxiety poisoning your mind.

“my dear, how come you’re worried about that until now? haven’t we told you? you’re part of the family. forget about my sister! i don’t welcome her negativity in our house!”

“living together is different. it’s a big deal. it normally happens in a relationship after…” the following words feel foreign in your mouth; they come out quieter than the rest of your sentence. “getting married.”

“then tell me. why did you agree to live with him?”

because you’re selfish. because you want more time that you can have him all to yourself. because you want to be accessible— the first person he runs to when he’s seeking comfort and stability. because you want goodnight and good morning kisses. because you were afraid of the risks but you’ve grown addicted to the thrill of love.

“he said… no matter how hard i push him away, he will stay within my reach.”

you hear your own shaky breathing. that moment— it’s still burned into your memory. you’re still holding on to it. it’s a promise he is yet to break and you pray that he never, ever does.

“i don’t want to push him away. i want to be within his reach too.”

you’re two people loving each other with everything within your means. after the endless pains and the deafening noise, you like to think that’s what makes this relationship worth fighting for.

“does my opinion still matter knowing that? will you let me stop you?”

“no, i won’t. i’d make you change your mind.”

if you had a machine connected to you, she would see how your heart rate has gone off the charts. but you’re known to say whatever’s on your mind and that, much to your dismay, isn’t switched off despite sitting infront of the woman who birthed and raised the love of your life.

you sniffle, pursing your lips nervously. “but i feel like there might be a right answer to that one.”

what you didn’t expect was her to laugh until her belly hurts; placing a hand over her mouth in an effort to calm herself down and keep grace.

“mom! stop, i’m so embarrassed!”

“no, ____, don’t get me wrong!”

she is teary-eyed as she gathers herself together.

“the more time i spend with you, the more i realize why jungkook loves you so much. i’ve seen him show incredible commitment twice. do you know that? first, when he went to seoul to become a singer. second, when he told us he got an apartment because he wants to be with you… of course, as his mother, i’ll admit that he’s young when he made those decisions, but he always proves to me that he’s smart and responsible.”

the urge to cry returns and strengthens as she speaks. you feel your eyelashes become damp with unshed tears. you don’t know how to act. you fiddle with your fingers. you stare at the strings and peels of the oranges you can still taste.

“i believe we both know jungkook’s personality well. he wouldn’t have let me stop him either. i’m happy to know that you’ll fight for him too.”

“thank you…”

“tsk, tsk, tsk- what is there to cry about? jungkook will get angry at me if he discovers that i made you cry.”

she wipes away your tears; however, the unmistakable scent of oranges that has clung to her hands and the affection in her tone bring forth a waterfall.

“seeing this makes me sadder.” she laments, referring to the stitches on your face.

“me too,” you babble in the midst of quiet sobs. “it makes me sad. it’s so ugly.”

—

you can’t remember the last time you felt this alone. perhaps it’s the effect of staying in an unfamiliar building of complete strangers. without your mobile phone, may you add. you managed to persuade jungkook’s mother to leave an hour ago because you didn’t want her to sleep on the uncomfortable couch.

the lights are turned off except for the lamp beside your bed, and with the television muted, you could hear a hairpin drop.

you’re alone and you can do whatever you want.

you dragged the visitor’s chair infront of the window to admire the garden like it’s a painting in motion. you watched people converse, stroll, and drink coffee. you watched them run for shelter when the clouds became too heavy and the sky began to fall. oh, so that’s why you couldn’t see the stars.

at this moment, there’s nothing left to amuse yourself with but the trembling of the leaves and the raindrops forming temporary rings when they fall in the water fountain.

your senses crave for more. you reach over and crack open the window, just enough to allow the sound of the rain and the scent of it permeating the earth to enter your room.

“this is kind of peaceful.” you whisper, amazed by the new lightness carried by your heart.

you close your eyes and you breathe in the petrichor deeply. you want nature in your lungs as a reminder that you’re alive. you welcome the cold wind kissing your face. you can feel your hair touching your neck. you always do, but for once, you’re choosing to acknowledge it. your thumb slowly brushes across the palm of your hand, perceiving the texture of your skin, the softness, and the lines. and your feet, they’re in the clouds, the fluffy slippers jungkook’s mother bought outside because she knows they’re your favorite to wear.

you’ve loved and despised this body for a million different reasons. your mind and heart have accepted defeat countless times, but your body wakes up to every brand new day without fail. your body implores you to live. did it finally give up on you today?

“baby!”

you look behind to search for the source of the sound.

you get your answer from the kiss planted on your lips.

you only saw his face for a split second, but even if you had your eyes closed, you’d know it has to be jungkook kissing you.

you can smell him. you’ve memorized the way the shape of his lips fits with yours.

oh, the sounds of his kisses too. you like to call them the butterfly call because they make butterflies appear in your stomach.

you could trace the scar on his cheek with your finger if you want to.

god, what a privilege it is to experience life in this vessel.

a knock on the door forces you to part too early. the same nurse from earlier enters and you internally scream all the curse words in your dictionary. jungkook acknowledges her with a bow and a quick ‘hello’ before squatting down infront of you.

“i committed another crime for you today.”

“huh?”

your wide, confused eyes take a glimpse at the nurse who is doing something with the controls of your iv line.

hahaha… she knows he’s not serious, right?

“what did you do?”

his smile is so big that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons. you’d make a guess but there is an infinite amount of things jungkook could possibly be this excited about.

…apparently, one of them would be strawberry cake.

you gape at the transparent box he was hiding behind his back all along.

“did you steal somebody’s birthday cake?!”

“it’s a producer’s birthday and he received lots of cakes, so he told me i can take one home.”

“how is it stealing if he allowed you to take it?”

he tosses his backpack on the couch as he sets down the box on the table. he rummages through the bag his mother left behind, successfully bringing out a spoon. meanwhile, you get your blood pressure taken again.

as he opens the box, he sends a smirk your way.

“no. i hid the strawberry cake because there’s so many who wanted to eat it.”

“are you crazy?!”

the nurse clicks her tongue. “don’t talk and stay still, please.”

“oh,” your hand flies to your mouth on instinct. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry.” jungkook also apologizes.

you and your boyfriend secretly share a look, exchanging a smile that is stifled laughter inside. your lips remain zipped as the nurse restarts the process of taking your blood pressure. on the other hand, jungkook eats a spoonful of cake, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. you roll your eyes and he tries harder to laugh without a sound.

seconds later, he grumbles about the room being too warm. he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand, and he does the worst thing he could possibly do at this moment. he reaches for his back, pulling his sweater over his head. naturally, his inner shirt rides up and allows wandering eyes a peak at his glorious toned abdomen.

passed out in the shower. busted your eyebrow open. front-row seat for a woman flirting and ogling at your boyfriend.

how fucking great.

“hello? i think it’s done.” you snap.

“a-ah, yes.”

you hear her swallow as she removes the cuff from your arm. she may be wearing a mask but she’s hot and red all the way to her ears. you’ve only read about it in books. you didn’t even believe this could happen in real life until now.

“i will check your temperature too.”

“go on.”

you repeat the same process from hours earlier, drumming your fingers on your thigh as you wait for the beep.

“yah, why is the window open? you’ll catch a cold.”

jungkook, yet again, steals the attention of every person in the room when he rises to his feet. his shadow casts over you as he closes the window.

“i wanted to smell the rain.”

“is the room getting too stuffy for you?”

you shrug. “i just wanted to smell the rain.”

you feel the nurse’s stare. you offer her a smile and her nameplate briefly gets caught by your vision. kang ji-woo.

“ji-woo; that’s a pretty name.” you pay her a sincere compliment. “it’s healing, don’t you think?”

“yes? uh-uhm, y-yes…” she replies, unsure and confused by the sudden small talk. “actually, it’s been linked to a reduction in stress and anxiety levels.”

“thank you! babe, did you hear that?”

“uhuh, think about my stress and anxiety levels.” he leans against the window with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at you.

so now he’s flexing his arm muscles. cool, cool, cool. you know he’s not doing it on purpose and his entire existence is just naturally hot and it’s infuriating.

“i’ve been worried sick about you all day.”

his statement makes you frown for a new reason. at the same moment, the thermometer beeps.

“could you please tell him that i’m fine?”

“37.3, uhhh- that’s slightly above normal. how do you feel? does your head hurt? are you cold?”

“i feel fine though?”

“okay. please take a lot of rest and stay warm…” her gaze lingers at jungkook who is blocking the window. “keep the window closed. hopefully it won’t be higher when i check again later.”

seriously?! you could cry. you want to go home where it’s comfortable. where it’s only you and jungkook and bam.

but you bet somebody would be happy if you had to stay longer.

“i’ll look after ____.” your boyfriend sighs, pulling out a jacket from his backpack.

“you shouldn’t have kissed me. what if you get sick?”

your blatantness causes the nurse to pause in updating your chart. she awkwardly clears her throat. “yeah… that… that isn’t currently advisable.”

“i’m sorry. i’ll control myself.”

you earn a glare from jungkook, then he fakes a smile which you gladly return.

“before you go, may i request for a new blanket? sorry, i spilled something earlier.”

“sure thing! i’ll come back with that right away.”

—

“she seemed happy to leave.” jungkook remarks. “i can’t tell if you were actually being nice or being passive aggressive.”

you smile innocently, taking a bite off the strawberry you stole from the top of the cake. “i’m a fucking angel.”

damn it, why is he suddenly turned on?

were you serious about the no kiss rule?

“would you rather i be the type to pull their hair?”

he shakes his head with a laugh. “but you did slap someone once.”

“you want to see me that furious again?”

“never in my wildest dreams.”

he kisses the top of your head, producing an exaggerated ‘mmmwah!’ sound that makes you giggle happily.

“here, have some more cake.”

he offers you a spoonful of cake.

no, it’s bigger.

as a matter of fact, the piece could probably pass off as a cupcake.

you gawk at it as if you’re figuring out the logistics of putting it in your mouth. his heart does a flip when you tilt your head and do your best to take in the whole thing. however, in the middle of it, you decide that you can’t, and you end up biting it off a little more than halfway.

oh my god, he loves you. he loves you. you’re so fucking cute.

your cheeks are full as you struggle to chew. you cover your mouth with your hand but they don’t touch. you’re so elegant in your ways and sometimes he wonders how you’re still attracted to him after he acts stupid.

also, plain white nails? that’s new. you always want colors.

“your nails look pretty.”

he is so focused on you that he fails to take notice of another presence occupying the room.

“your mom did them for me.”

“i figured. she wants to do mother-daughter things with you.”

the short break of silence speaks volumes. you look at him, blinking with eyes hinting at a type of joy you’re lost on how to express.

“did you choose white?”

“no. we were watching a drama and it was the couple’s wedding.”

oh, that makes total sense.

“let me guess,” he trails off with a half-embarrassed, half-entertained smile. “she asked when we will get married?”

“why would she ask me that? how would i know?” you scoff.

his heart starts at a thousand miles per hour. fuck, are you hinting at him? are you messing with his feelings again? with you, he always needs to remind himself to be rational.

“i need more time to prove to you that i’m husband material.”

“what? stop it. i don’t care. i don’t need a ring.”

your unpredictableness pushes him to the edge of his seat.

“don’t pressure yourself. you already treat me way better than most husbands do their wives.”

the pride painted on your face is unmistakable. he feels his heart swelling in his chest. has he been doing a better job than he originally thought? after what happened today, he was terrified that he hasn’t been paying enough attention to you.

“i’m so happy with what we have.”

you offer him a delicate smile before eating the rest of the cake that was left on the spoon. he swears there’s a glowing halo above your head.

could your temperature have magically dropped in the past five minutes? would you kill him if he kissed you right now?

“is there anything else i could assist you with?”

and then he is rudely snapped out of his hopeless adoration and daydreaming.

“that’s all! thank you for your hard work!” you chirp.

he turns to the nurse with a lovesick grin.

“please come to our wedding.”

the unforeseen wedding invitation earns him a slap on the chest. he clutches the affected area, wincing in pain.

he hears you mutter. “don’t invite strangers to our wedding.”

the irritated glare he predicted to face isn’t there. rather, you’re wearing the flustered smile he only sees when he knows that he did something to make you fall for him all over again.

before ji-woo left, she tried to subtly reject the invitation by jokingly saying that she’d die to go, but most probably, she’d have to work that day. you know… being an overworked hospital employee and all. you caught her glancing at you with bitterness failed to be guised as indifference. you get it. you’d hate it if another person was in your place. frankly speaking, you could be miles pettier.

your boyfriend wipes the corner of your lips, thoughtless as he licks off the cake frosting from his thumb.

damn it, you wish she was also here for that.

“you haven’t stopped smiling.”

“you love me and you never let me forget that.”

you give an answer despite the lack of a question mark.

you just made his world stop spinning on its axis and you’re not even aware.

jungkook knows the heavenly feeling of knowing that he is loved, but he has never deeply considered the joy and relief when the person he loves believes that he loves them.

“i’m so lucky. i love you.”

you push yourself up to plant a kiss on his forehead. it’s a rarity he treasures and keeps.

“i love you too.”

he cries infront of you.

almost.

he excuses himself to the bathroom and cries in there a little.

you’re so easy to love— that’s why it makes him want to do difficult things for you. like commit more crimes?

[casekt]

Being loved by a bad man, he's her junkyard dog, "where you go I go", I'm gonna swallow some c4 or something

[yaravella]

More Than Anything Pt. 3 - Gepard Landau x Reader

Gepard Landau x Reader // pt. 3

Part 1, Part 2

content: f!reader, smut, mdni, nsfw

Synopsis: One day Serval brought you home and you have been a part of Gepard's life ever since. When he discovered he had feelings for you, it seemed it was too late.

Masterlist

Song mentioned: Bad Omens - Death of Peace of Mind

It was Saturday afternoon and for the first time after months, Gepard finally had the house for himself. Usually, Serval and her band will be flocking around the house because they’ll have practice from noon until early evening. And of course, that means you and your boyfriend will be here too so it’s the best choice for him to avoid going home. Today, he was free from all of that.  

After he watched your performance for the last time a few months ago, Gepard knew he was too deep in love with you to stay friends. The thought of you drove him crazy. The idea of not having you made him feel insane. He doesn’t even know he had this side of him, a toxic trait like this. Indeed, love is a death of peace of mind. 

He thanked Serval though, for not making any fuss about him keep skipping her performances. The first time he declined her invitation to watch her gigs, Serval just nodded her head and pat his arm. 

“Alright, brother. Just talk to me if something is bothering you.” She knew. After all, Gepard cannot hide anything from his sister. He felt bad for her, but he promised this won’t take too long. 

He didn’t expect it will be this hard to deal with whatever he felt for you but he knew he was going there. He is a man of determination after all. He muted all of your social media, he steer clear of you. If he saw Blade’s black Jeep parked in front of his house, he would drive away to somewhere else. Usually, he goes to Dunn’s bar. He gets a free drink from that guy though. Or he will just do some boxing training in the gym. Which is a great way to channel all of his emotions. 

The sound of punches hitting the sandbag could be heard from his room, echoing in the hallway. Sweat drips on his face, on his body, but Gepard is too focused to care. He kept hitting the sandbag as hard as he could. He found this is a good way to stop thinking. Stop thinking about you, or stop thinking in general. Sometimes, Blade’s face flashed in front of him though, right on the sandbag. It made him hit the sandbag harder. And when he ran out of energy and realized how silly and childish his thoughts are, he couldn't help but laugh in embarrassment.  

Gepard stopped his punches as he heard the sound of his doorbell rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone today, and Serval has her own key. Who is it? Gepard was about to ignore it, assuming it was probably some salesman selling shady items. But when the doorbell ring rapidly over and over again, he got pissed off. He grabbed the nearest t-shirt on the bed and stormed off to his front door, ready to put this rude visitor in his place. 

However, all of his anger melted down as he saw you in front of his door, alone, looking up at him with a distressed look. 

“Oh…” he breathed out your name, a name that tasted so foreign on his tongue but now he realized how much he missed saying it. He gulped nervously, analyzing your figure, your face. It’s really been a while since he saw you, and you’re still as beautiful as the last time he saw you, even without that hypnotizing smile that always greets him every time he saw you. All efforts he did to forget you went down the drain. 

“Umm… Is there… Is there something you need?”

He could see you were on the verge of crying. He didn’t know what to do.  

"Is… is Serval home?" your trembling voice sounds foreign to Gepard's ears. His jaw stiffened with worries. You were trying hard to hold back your tears, that much he knew. What the hell’s happening with you?  

"No, she hasn't come back," he said, "Are you alright?"

You sigh before giving him a smile, a fake one he notices, "Yeah, I'm alr-" a sob cut your sentence as you broke down into tears in front of him. 

"I'm sorry, Gepard. I'm not… May I… May-"

Not knowing what to do, he grabs your shoulders and invites you in, "Hey, hey, it's okay. Just let it all out," and you did as you naturally wrapped in his arm, crying your eyes out into his t-shirt. And now he’s suddenly aware he’s sweating like hell from his training. He probably smelled bad too. He just hoped you were too busy crying to notice. He also hoped you won’t notice the sound of his heart rapidly beating inside his ribcage by having you in his embrace. 

Gepard guided you to the loveseat in the living room area, the same seat he saw you the first time in your boyfriend’s arms. Here you are right now, crying in his arms. Life’s kind of funny, he thought. 

Gepard didn’t say anything much and let you cry as much as you want. He didn’t know what to say, except bunches of: “It’s okay, I’m here,” or, “It’s fine, just cry all you want,” anyway. But he made sure you felt safe in his arms. He brushed your hair and your back and embrace you tighter when your sobs got harder. 

It went on for more than half an hour, he figured out as he checked Serval’s steampunk-themed clock on the wall. He can feel the front of his t-shirt dampened by your tears. His body also started to go numb under your weight. However, he didn’t mind all that. Your crying had ceased but you still clutched the side of his t-shirt tightly, as if you were scared he will disappear once you let go. 

“Are you okay now?” he said softly, still brushing your hair. You slowly lifted your head, resting your chin on his chest as you gaze up at him with red puffy eyes. Your makeup was a bit messy, but you’re still pretty in his eyes. Even prettier now, somehow. Gepard felt sick realizing that he found you prettier after you cried. 

“Yeah…” you whispered with a croaky voice. 

“Care to tell me what happened?” he said, feeling his chest tighten once he saw your frown deepen. “It’s okay if you don’t want to-”

"Blade cheats on me…" you said softly he almost didn’t catch it. But he did and it made his blood boil. That fucking guy. He already got you and had the audacity to do that to you? Who the hell did he think he is? 

"He's stupid,” Gepard meant it, not only because he wanted to make you feel better. He wanted to say worse things about the other guy, but he held himself since he’s your boyfriend. Or ex, now? It looked like you were about to cry once more but you hold back. 

"Am I not beautiful enough, Gepard?" 

That’s a stupid question. You’re beautiful, especially when you were busy doing your own things. When you were singing and dancing. When you were writing lyrics on his kitchen island. When you were performing on the stage. You were stunning. You were beautiful. But you’re the most beautiful when you were smiling at him. He wanted to see you smile at him once more, and he would do anything for that. 

"He's just an ungrateful asshole," he said, cursing and thanking himself at the same time for not saying all that thought he had for you. “You are beautiful…” That sentence came softer, and feel almost like a whisper. He was feeling bold, even though he kind of regretted saying it since now you look at him in the eyes with an unreadable expression. This is probably the closest distance you had ever been from him. He can see all of your facial features better. He can see the smallest shift of expressions on your face. He can see your plump lips open up slightly before you speak. 

"Kiss me then."

It seemed he was not the only one who felt bold. Gepard thought you were messing with him. He studied your face, expecting you to burst out laughing, and said you were only joking. However, he found nothing in your eyes but desperation. Desperation to get any validation, anything to pick up the pieces of your crumbling heart, perhaps.

Before you can retract back what you say, Gepard captured your lips swiftly in his. Without hesitation. Probably an action he had so much confidence in doing after a while. It was a slow kiss. He made sure he memorized every inch of your mouth as his tongue made its way to dance languidly with yours. A soft moan slipped from your lips as he moved away to admire your face. 

“You are really beautiful,” he repeated, gently brushing your hair and tucking it behind your ear. He emphasized the word to make sure you really listen to him, to make all of your doubts disappear. Your face turned a bit red. That’s enough to make him kiss you once more, a little harder this time. 

Gepard lifted your body from the sofa to his lap. Following his lead, you straddled him, deepening the kiss as you circle your arms around his neck. He can’t help but grunt as he felt you bite his lower lips, tugging it a bit hard before you swipe your tongue softly on it. In response, he grabbed your butt and reposition you better on his lap. You probably felt his hard-on as you sit on it. But he doesn’t care. Maybe he wanted you to feel it. He wanted you to know that’s how much he wanted you. 

“Gepard…” you whispered out his name. Like a spell, a grunt left his throat as he grabbed the back of your neck, tilting so he can trail kisses on your skin. He kissed, licked, and sucked your skin until splotches of red appeared on it. 

“I think we should move to my room,” he said once he reluctantly pulled out from you, already missing the way you taste on his tongue. As far as he’d love to screw you on the loveseat, he probably can’t live a day after Serval walked in on him doing her best friend. 

As you get up from his lap, before you can process anything, Gepard already captured your lips in another heated kiss. While he did that he grabbed your thighs and picked you up like your weight was nothing, thanks for all the workouts he did. You immediately encircled your legs on his waist as you kiss him back, needy. 

He broke the kiss once you arrived in his room, throwing your weight on his bed. Gepard looked down at your figure, the situation slowly dawned on him. Here you were laying on his bed with a ragged breath, eyes locked with his, hazy with lust. Your fingers slowly moved to unbutton your shirt, one by one, eyes locked with his. He gulped as he saw your lacy baby blue bra revealed below your shirt. 

“Go ahead,” you said, teasing him. Gepard dropped his knees between your legs, once again locking his lips with yours. 

“Beautiful,” he growled between the kisses. He had fantasized about this moment several times in his sleepless nights, admiring you from head to toe, tracing every curve and line on your body. He thought the time would slow down as he memorize every inch of you. However, he couldn’t even form a coherent thought as he rained kisses from your jaw down to your chest, hands struggling to unclasp your bra. His mind was hazy as your hand made its way to his painfully hardened length. He grunted as he felt you stroke him through his boxer, slow and sensual at first before the pace fastened. 

“Feel good?” you purred in his ear. 

Asking for another validation, it seems, and Gepard willingly gave it to you by thrusting his hips to your hand and groaning deeply, anything to make you keep stroking him.

“Yes,” he voiced helplessly. Smiling in satisfaction, you push him away for a bit, much to his disappointment. However, his jaw almost dropped as he saw you pull down his boxer by the waistband, his hardened length immediately sprung free from its cage. 

“W-wait-” he shrieked in panic, looking down at you whose lips were dangerously close to the tip of his cock, “I haven’t showered.”

You only rolled your eyes in response, immediately licking his tip before putting half of his length in your mouth. Gepard felt his face turn hotter as he saw you skillfully run your tongue down and up his cock. You, who he thought he would have to forget today, were going down on him, sucking him, moaning with nothing but a pair of skinny black jeans. Probably the same skinny jeans the last time he saw you performing in for the last time. Gepard gritted his teeth nervously, still worrying about the fact that he was probably sweaty down there. But when you try to take all of his lengths down to your throat, he can’t hold out the loud grunt that left his mouth as he threw his head back. 

“Oh, fuck-” he hissed, hand immediately going on top of your head. Gepard grabbed a handful of your hair as he fucked your throat in and out. Your mouth felt so warm around him, felt so fucking good. You were nothing like his imagination. You were better. 

This is it. This is his reward for being a saint, for being patient in enduring all the torture you gave him for the past few months. For enduring all the time he saw you embracing and kissing your fucking boyfriend. Now here you are, looking up at him with teary eyes with his cock deep in your mouth. 

Gepard pulled your head back as he felt the fuzzy feeling inside his stomach start to intensify. There's no way he's going to end this so soon. Not until he was buried deep inside your pussy. 

“Pants off,” He commanded as he started to strip himself out of his boxer and t-shirt. Suddenly feeling like taking charge. Probably from the amazing head you just gave him. Your lips looped into a teasing smile, but you obeyed him immediately, tugging and pulling both your panties and skinny jeans off at the same time.

Fully stripped, Gepard trapped your naked form beneath his body, taking you into another hasty make-out session. His hand worked toward your wet pussy, rubbing around to find your clit before flicking it gently. A sweet moan erupted from you, fueling Gepard to rub it even faster. 

"Gepard," you breathed into his mouth, fingers pressing hard on his arms, "I need you."

Something he had been dying to hear after all this time. He could only imagine it before, not even in this kind of situation. But this had to be the perfect situation to hear it. 

He bit your lips and tugged it passionately before he pulled away from the kiss to grab his cock and aligned it with your pussy. His cock twitched as he rubbed it on your wet labia. He couldn't wait to be buried deep in you, but Gepard was hesitant since he probably didn't prepare you long enough. And he didn't have a condom with him now.

"Hurry," you moaned, whined, looking at him in desperation. Spreading your legs wide to invite him.

That's all it took for him to push the head of his cock to your entrance. Fuck it, he'll just pull out later, he thought, feeling a sudden rush of thrill in his stomach. Slowly thrusting in, Gepard growled at the sensation of being in your pussy. Maybe it was from all the pent-up sexual desire he had for you, or maybe because your pussy is just really tight and slippery, it was nothing like he had imagined before. He almost thanked Blade for cheating on you and leading him to have experienced all of this with you. Almost, because you still didn't deserve it. But fuck, your pussy is warm and tender as it sucked and clenched on his cock. So thanks, Blade. 

"Fuck…" he breathed, hissing as he pulled in and out of you. Fast at first but then pistoning slow and hard to prolong the sensation of you clasping around him. Your eyebrows creased as you let out a loud moan when he thrust hard in, once, twice. He must be hitting your sweet spot.

Gepard took one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking and licking it gently. You mewled in pleasure as a response, hips moving following his motion. Seems like he's not the only one who wasn't patient to reach your high. Your hips started to buck with more urgency as he circled the bud of his fingers once again on your hardened clit to help you get off faster. 

"Kiss me," you begged and he leaned down to slip his tongue in your mouth, immediately caught by yours hungrily. Gepard himself started to feel like he was about to lose it. He was seeing stars on the back of his head as he closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your tongue on his, of your slippery wall around him. 

But his pride wouldn't allow him to finish before you. So when he felt your body tense and slowed down, he felt relieved and immediately pulled out of you, splattering cums on your chest and stomach. He pumped himself a few times to milk himself dry, eyes gazing at your body, beautifully covered in cum. Once the last drop fell on your lower belly, Gepard let out a loud sigh and threw his head back.

"That was amazing," he heard you saying. Opening his eyes, he saw you close your eyes with a peaceful smile on your face. Not a sight of evidence that you've been crying over your asshole ex-boyfriend. 

He hovered on top of you, bracing his weight on both his forearms to give your lips pecks. You smiled on his lips, kissing him back. 

"Thank you, Gepard," you breathed, looking at him with pure affection, shifting something in him. As much as his mind wanted to tell him to assess this situation more, Gepard can't think of one negative outcome of this situation. He just knew from that moment, he wanted to make you happy. He wanted to prove that he isn't someone like your ex-boyfriend. That for all this time, all you needed is him.

A/N: Forgive me if I made several mistakes because this is my first lengthy smut :"D Boxing Gepard is inspired by the way he punches destructible items. Something shifted in me when I saw him violently punch them...

Me, next, Gepard... Stealing this from Twitter because I don't have himmm aaaaarghhh Gepard pls come home ;_____;

Anyway, I hope whoever read this enjoyed it~~~

[asimpforthe80s]

I'm here for you..

Starring: dead!Eddie x dying!Reader

Warnings: dead Eddie 'haunting' reader. Telling reader she's dying. Reader dying. Crying. Breakdowns. Reader quits her job. Basically a blob of angst.

Ever since Eddie died, you had seen him. You've seen and heard him everywhere. But you could somehow feel him. Fee him in your presence and speak to him as if he were alive. "I'm here for you.. you know that.." he said each time you broke down. Each time you felt down. After a while, it was like a hell. Like he was just there to haunt you or break your mind.

It was almost painful. How only you could see him, hear him, or feel him with you. "Stop it!" You yelled at him. It felt like you were losing your mind. "Why? It's the truth.. I'm here. You know me." Eddie said. He was always smiling and always there for you. But you couldn't shake him off. It was almost like he was just there to make sure you were going crazy. Every time you reached the point where you couldn't handle it anymore and would start to yell, cry and break down, he would show up and remind you that he's there for you. And it was the same every time.

"Stop following me! You're not real! Y-youre just.. y-youre dead, Eddie! A-and I loved you.." Once again, you were breaking down in your living room as n he kept talking and talking. He smiled and took your hand. The same way he used to when he was alive. "I was never more real than now... I'm here..." He said, looking into your eyes and smiling. "I know you loved me.. I know you still do.." he said softly while caressing your face.

"You're not real! You're not real.." you sobbed, trying to push him away. He kept caressing your face and rubbing your hair. "Do you remember this?" he asked softly. "It's me.. I'm here. You can keep pushing me away.. I will always come back. Because I love you.." He kissed your forehead. His words made you cry more. He was dead. You saw his dead corpse two weeks ago. Lost in the upside down. "You're dead.. you're not real.."

"I told you, I'm more real than I ever was. Because I'm here.. with you. Do you remember our first date? Do you remember how you laughed until your stomach hurt? How you leaned against me?" He rubbed your back.

You worked at a hospital an hour outside of Hawkins. You'd been working with a 10 year old boy, and he was about to go into surgery when you had to escort his mother out of the room. "You know.. miracles happen every day.. medical miracles happen every day.. and I'll be here for you-..." That's when you realized what Eddie had meant with that same sentence. You said that to the boy's mother because her son was sick. Was this what Eddie meant every time he said that to you?

It was. And as the mother started to leave, the boy was getting ready for the surgery with the doctors. Your mind was still spinning with thoughts of Eddie and what he had said to you. The whole time he was there.. you thought he was haunting you.. but he never left your side. And you never noticed. He was always right there. You quickly walked out of the building and started breaking down. As usual, Eddie was there.

He held you, caressed your hair and wiped away your tears. "I'm here.." he said, rubbing your back softly. The whole time, you weren't going through this alone. He was right there. Watching over you and taking care of you. And that was only one of the hundreds of times he showed up.. "I.. I figured it out.." you whispered through your tears. You were dying. And Eddie was just here to help you know it.

He kept holding you, comforting you. "It's ok... I'm here.." he said softly, wiping away your tears. You were dying. His presence now meant something different. You didn't feel like he's here to make you feel insane anymore. Now, you felt at peace. Because after almost losing each other, you were going to finally be with him again, in death. "W.. why didn't you just tell me..?" You asked. It made you angry, yes. But it also made you sad.

"Because I knew you wouldn't believe me..." he whispered. "And even if you did, I couldn't just tell you that you're about to die.. I couldn't give you that kind of worry or pain. I never meant to hurt you." He caressed your cheek softly. You didn't know if you should be mad at him or panic because you were dying. He took your hand and gently squeezed it. "I'm here.. everything will be ok... We're going to be together soon.. Don't be afraid.." he said softly. He looked into your eyes, trying to make them meet his.

"Doesn't it hurt..?" You asked. I mean, Eddie had who knows how many bats biting him and trying to eat him alive, so of course it was painful for him. But would it be painful for you? What were you even dying from? "It does.." he said softly. "And it will.. more than you could imagine.. But I know you're strong, darling.. You'll get through this... I'll be right there with you.. I'll hold your hand, and we'll walk through it together.. just like we used to, with everything.. That's what I've always done for you.." he said softly, caressing your hair and giving you the love and support that you needed.

"I.. what am I even dying from..?!" You were starting to panic. You were scared. "I can't tell you.." he whispered. His presence gave you strength, but you could feel the panic coursing through you. The thought of death filled you with fear and dread. He took your hand and kept looking in your eyes, trying to bring you comfort and peace. "Don't worry about that now.. I'm here with you.. Don't be afraid.. Don't be sad. I won't leave you." he said softly.

You sat down on the ground, not caring that it was raining quite a lot. He sat down next to you and put his arms around you, trying to take away some of the pain. "Don't think about the how.. the why's.. or the when's. Just focus on me. Just focus on my voice and my face.. everything is going to be okay.. I'm right here.." he whispered, looking into your eyes and rubbing your hair. "Tomorrow, while no one's down in the clinic, I'll run tests on myself.. figure it out.." it sounded more like you were telling yourself rather than telling him.

"Don't.." he said tightly, taking your hand and holding it. "Don't waste the time we have left going through tests... You're dying.. Nothing will change that. But if you're going to die, do you really want to spend your last minutes going through tests and trying to find out how? The important thing is that you're not dying alone." he said softly, squeezing your hand tightly. "L-last minutes..?" He wasn't really helping the situation.

"It doesn't matter how much time we have left.." he whispered, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. "It's more important that you feel loved. That you feel safe and that you don't have to go through the pain of dying alone." his voice was soft and gentle and his words were full of kindness and affection. While the situation was dire, he was trying to take away as much of the fear and dread as he could. "Y-youre already dead, I can go on and figure out what's wrong with me.." You were right, after all.

"I don't want you to spend your last minutes wasting your time on things that won't change a thing.." he whispered, squeezing your hand tightly. "Just focus on enjoying the time we have left together.. It doesn't matter what's wrong with you, because it's too late. Nothing can save you. Just focus on me.. focus on us." he said softly, trying to lift your head up and get you to look at him. If you were honest, his words scared you. Last minutes. Nothing could save you. It didn't make the situation better. He was dead, so when you died, the two of you would have all eternity to do stuff.

He kept trying to lift your head up. "I'm here, darling.. I'm not leaving your side.. Just focus on me.. Just focus on my voice and my face. Everything will be alright.. It's just two of us.. Like it always has been.." he whispered softly, looking into your eyes and trying to bring you comfort and peace while time slipped away. You looked at him, and it was clear you were scared. He looked back at you with his most comforting and reassuring look. He took your hand and squeezed it tightly. "It's gonna be ok.. You're not gonna go through this alone.. Don't be scared.. I'm here. We're together... And I will be right here.. till the last minute." he whispered softly, caressing your cheek and running his fingers through your hair.

"I-i still have 5 hours left of my shift.." you sighed, trying to calm down. "I know..." he whispered, taking you into his arms and pulling you close. "And those 5 hours are going to pass by quickly.. And it's gonna be the greatest 5 hours of my life.. because I get to spend them with you. And knowing it'll be the last 5 hours of this journey makes me cherish them even more. " he said softly, kissing your forehead and running his hands through your hair. "Eddie, you're already dead.." you sighed, closing your eyes to stay calm.

"Yes I am.. And I'm here, because you still need me. I may be gone physically, but I'm not gone from you.. I'm still here. In your mind and in your heart. I'll never leave you.. I'll always be by your side, until the very end.. even after that." He said softly, caressing your hair and kissing your forehead. "Don't waste these last 5 hours worrying about meaningless things. Just feel everything that I'm feeling.. And let us enjoy these last moments together." You started taking deep breaths. "I'm quitting.. right now.. a.. and I'll just.. enjoy as much shit as I can.."

He laughed softly. "Good. That's what I want to hear. Enjoy as much as you can. Let's make these last 5 hours the greatest of our lives." he whispered softly, running his fingers through your hair. You nodded and stood up. This was it. You're quitting the job you've worked years to get. You started walking into the building again. He followed you, a small smile on his face as he watched you walk into the building. He was proud of you for not wasting the time you had left on pointless tests. He watched you as you walked away, ready to enjoy every single moment of these last 5 hours.

"Hey, is my boss in?" You asked the receptionist. "Yeah.. he's inside in his office.." the receptionist said, pointing inside. "Tell him I'm quitting.." you said harshly. "Yes, ma'am.. I'll convey the message." The receptionist nodded. You saw your boss in his office. You didn't want to waste any time. "Thank you." You said and walked out of there almost immediately. In less than a minute, you were outside of the clinic. You felt the cold air and the warm rain hitting your face. You were ready to start taking back control of these last 5 hours. You had to make every minute count.

Time had almost ran out. You'd spent the last 5 hours trying to make the most out of your remaining time. You had went to the beach and saw the sunset. You went on a picnic and ate some of your favorite foods. You went to the park and took a stroll, enjoying every moment and every breath. And now, you were back home, ready to meet your fate. You were lying in your bed, ready to close your eyes for the last time. "Y.. you're gonna help me cross whatever border there is between after life and this.. right?" You asked, looking over at Eddie.

He looked at you softly and took your hand. "I'll be right there with you. I'll guide you across that border and hold your hand the entire way. I'm not leaving you. We will be together for eternity.. and I can't wait." he whispered softly, caressing your hair and rubbing your back softly. You sighed, took a deep breath, and closed your eyes. As you closed your eyes, Eddie's hand tightened around your's.. He was right there with you, till your last breath. And he would be there, after.. He would never leave you. You could let go now.

And you let go. You felt your body go limp and take your last breath. You accepted it. Not even knowing why you died. You saw the famous light and walked towards it, seeing Eddie stand before a big gate. And there he was.. right there waiting for you.. He was standing before a tall, magnificent, golden gate. He smiled and took your hand as you walked toward it. The gates opened as you approached, and you walked through them together.

[not-so-shy-lee-chu]

I heard you were a "sucker" for tit sucking, tickling and the like. Heh, get it cause ykyk suck- nvm anyways xD,

Imagine your in a gloryhole. Though, not the kind of gloryhole that you would think. Instead of having your mouth or pussy exposed... its your tits.. your overly sensitive, easy to manipulate breasts. With how overly responsive, match with how sizeable your breastds are... you were practically a star of the gloryhole. Though, not in the kind that you would think.. truth be told you were being held there sgainst your will. All those people, touching and prodding and squeezing your erect areolas only feeling the fiery need of your edged pussy, only fadding fuel to your masohism. The person who put you there has edged you atleast 3 months, since then.. you havent orgasmed.. not even once. You were basically a frustrated mess, now even your pussy is being exposed to the public soon. In a few days, you will be teased to insanity, teased till you go crazy, teased till you cry tears of frustration from longing that sweet sweet release... as if things cant get worse.. when the gloryhole is closed, he would make you watch other girls cumming their hearts out through a vr headset. Making you watch as their hair becomes a mess, and that sweet surge of pleasure tskes over their bodies, something that you can only yearn for. And as the day starts over, the cycle repeats itself, continuous torturous teasing during the day, and tantalizingly making you watch girl orgasm during the night.

As time passes by, your will and any defenses you might have all broken to shatters. You still wonder ever so slightly, when will you be able to orgasm? How long will you have to wait? Will your captor even let you orgasm? And, why is it that the more you're edged... the more your masochistic side is loving it~ >:)

-🍺

P.S. hope you like my teasee its only one of many hehe :)

OH LAWD HAVE MERCY, WHAT KIND OF A PARAGRAPH IS THIS 🤯😵‍💫.

Oh taking a look at this I loved it, Just forced to expose my nipples and get them sucked, toyed with and meanwhile I can't do anything to stop it and being there against my will? That's... that's hot. My nipples are perking up and tingling at the idea.

How about this tho, from the slave's perspective🪶😈:

I haven't been able to sleep at night. This guy, who kidnapped me for money. Turned me into his slave when he understood I was just as broke as he was. It was six months ago but the memories are as fresh as today... He stripped me, spend his first month edging my desperate pussy daily, tying my legs up and apart, cutting my underwear, he told me that day... I was no longer allowed to cum for the rest of my life. I begged him not to. He than edged my clit with feathers, little paint and makeup brushes, his own fingers and even... with little kisses on it sometimes. I couldn't bear it. I cried and moaned and begged him, told him about every single dime of money I had left and where I kept them. He didn't seem to be interested in my money anymore for some reason... I cried and cried, but it fell on deaf ears as he circled the paintbrush around my pathetic little nub. Licking his lips and chuckling as my button throbbed when he pulled away. That's when I heard him say... "I don't need the money anymore dear, I just found a way to make my own bank... And you're going to help me with that"

...

And now here we are... My body is completely mummified, I have a blindfold and gag on too. I can't see, hear or speak anything. I simply exist here behind this wall, with my boobs peeking put of my cozy cocoon into the other side of the wall. I can't see anything. All I know is that the guy that kidnapped me earns money from it. People come and go. I can't see or hear them. I just feel them start to play with my nipples... Oh my poor nipples. I wish there was a way to get out, to set free. I would give myself all the orgasms in the world but I can't... They play with my nipples, my poor nipples. They roll them between their fingers, caress and stroke the top of it, making my knees go weak. Good thing I'm almost fixiated here to my spot, I don't have to stand. I can just let it go. They sometimes use feathers and brushes on it, it tickles so much honestly. It makes me howl and cry from laughing. After a month or so edging, my whole body is sensitive. That's why the makeup brushes do make me cry if the person keeps using it for a long time. I hate those. I hate it, I hate how my pussy and nipple ache with each stroke. I hate how I can't touch them. I hate how good it feels yet not enough... Please. Please I'll do anything. Please I need to cum!

Ohh some of them even lick and suck it. That is the most unbearable one because I get so close to cumming and they suddenly stop. I know that guy makes them do it. He loves to hear my growl and cry of frustration behind that wall. It gets so mean, it makes me sob every time. But after that much time spent in here. I got used to it, I lost my mind to be exact :) I don't put much fight up anymore, I know it's useless. I know if I give him a hard time, he is going to make me watch girls cumming all night long as he edges my clit and nipples together with brushes and vibrators, or even call his friends to do it together. I know if I curse at him, he will tie me up and tickle me all day and all night long. My poor feet can't handle how vulgar he is with his brushes and nails. I even curl my toes at the idea of it.

So I just take it like the brainless slave I am. I just exist as my boobs, clit and nipples. They're all I can think about. I just want to cum, nothing else. I just want to cum for the rest of my life. But I know he is not going to let me. Never again. He enjoys it I can feel that. He sometimes keeps me mummied and sucks my nipples himself at night, than masturbates on them and laughs at how pathetic I am. I just stay there, squirming, whining at my gag to beg him so that he plays with them longer. Just a little longer please, I am so close. Needy and crazy as always... It's too late for me to go back. I only know this life and nothing else...

I'm a slave. That's what my life will be from now on.

Oh please don't hesitate to send asks 🥰🥰 I enjoyed this one a lot! Thank you: 🍺 anon

[borahaerhy]

D-Day is an absolute masterpiece; let's discuss.

Obscenely long description of each of the songs under the cut

TL;DR: I'm an emotional wreck and this is the best album I've ever heard for so many reasons.

Haegeum??? That MV??? Never wanted to quit my job and start a gang that bullied the rich and steals their money more in my life (and trust me, that's something I've wanted to do since I was like 13). Yoongi is the only rich man I'd ever let lecture me about capitalism. He can do it all day every day. This is a fucked system, but thank you for turning me on while lecturing me about it and murdering people with some dirty chopsticks 🥴

D-Day is absolutely sick, 100% exactly what I'd expect from him. How a song can go so hard and still be so poetic to me is just insane. The beat is SICKENING. The chorus? CATCHY. 10/10 song, perfect opener to the album and set's the tone for the rest that's coming in an amazing way.

HUH?! killed me. We open the song with "what the shit do you know about me" and bro? Nothing, ion know shit about fuck, but you got me all the way fucked up with that attitude. Hoseok?? THE "HUH"S EVERYWHERE?? dead. deceased. The beat? Would literally sell my soul to be able to be in the studio when that man makes anything. I went to school to be an audio engineer, I've seen the way people put music together and create these catchy ass beats and have even made a few of my own, but FUCK BRO THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS MAN IN THE STUDIO.

^^That goes for every song, not just Huh, but I just thought that it was important for EVERYONE to know that I'd sacrifice my firstborn child just to watch this man work.

AMYGDALA had me in tears. I was literally sobbing reading the lyrics. There are no words I can say that will accurately express how I feel about this song. This song has been out for less than 24 hours and I already feel so close to it, I can't even begin to describe it. The way most of the instruments fall out in the pre-chorus just so they can all come back in the chorus for that intensity with him basically yelling the lyrics is just *chef's kiss*.

SDL Is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time. The chorus is everything, so beautiful. Talk about bitter sweet lyrics, I'm eating that shit up. His vocals are absolutely outstanding, that "I'm thinking 'bout you" is making me so delulu you have no idea.

People Pt. 2 has already been out, but man that song is gorgeous. IU's vocals are such a great contrast to Yoongi's rap, and when they harmonize I wanna start crying whY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD??!

I'M NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WAS CRYING, LEGIT SOBBING THE FIRST TIME I HEARD POLAR NIGHT. The instrumental is so uniquely Yoongi, and makes you feel so much. Yoongi is one of the only artists whos music makes me feel what they feel; and this song is the best representation of that. Everytime i listen to it I have to stop myself from crying and it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I cried before I even knew what the song was about, just because that's how good of a composer and producer he is. Genuinly one of the best songs I've ever heard.

I've never had an interlude make me feel so much. He's perfected the art of making his music invoke the emotions of his listeners and there's nothing more perfect than a minute-and-a-half-long interlude with no words in it that's still able to do that. Incredible.

Snooze is honestly one of the best thing's to have ever graced this planet if i'm being 100% rn. I know I keep talking about the emotion of the music but broooo. And the Woosung feature? His voice is amazing and is already so raw and emotional and paired with this song I just cannot. The lyrics make me want to sob, which I will probably do later when I get off work. And the the reference back to So Far Away? I'm on the floor someone please hug me.

Yoongi's vocals go fucking crazy in Life Goes On. If this was my introduction to Yoongi I would 100% believe that he's a singer and has been his whole life. The pure raw talent of this man will never cease to amaze me.

In conclusion, I love Min Yoongi with my whole chest and I hope he knows how much his music helps people, because it really, really helps. I can never even fully express just how this album alone helps me, that's not even speaking about all his other solo projects and the hundreds of songs he's worked on throughout his career.

If you read all of that I love u and I hope u have a spectacular day.

[tadpolejourney]

Days 11-12

I was so sick last night, I couldn't write. I'll have to put my work on Act V aside to catch up on yesterday and today.

Yesterday was such a crazy ass fucking day. I must emphasize that I have been having some very strange and crazy days lately, and this was the most insane day yet.

Let's start with first thing yesterday morning. I can't say I didn't see this coming with all the flirting we've been doing. Astarion propositioned me for sex. He's not at all interested in a real relationship. I reminded him our relationship isn't transactional and he didn't need to repay the favor of my blood for sex. He talked about how I 'obviously' wanted him because I was quivering when he bit me. More like he's been the obvious one, and I shook because it hurt like hell and it was taking everything I had not to cry out, but I let him protect his ego to cushion the rejection. When I turned him down, he told me I was no fun, but he doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. I can't just have sex with whoever, whenever. I've never had the luxury of being able to just 'let go' and have sex only for the fun of it with anyone who I felt attracted to. That has always felt unsafe to me, and probably always will. Truthfully, if I could I would have said yes to him. I had no other reason to say no.

We got Karlach an engine upgrade today. I'm glad we met the blacksmith Dammon and he's able and willing to help. Also, those two have some real chemistry. I wonder if either or both of them realize it.

Gale needed another magical item today. This time he said it wasn't working to quell his hunger like before. He seemed frightened.

We made it to the goblin camp. I really try not to be racist but goblins are fucking stupid, disgusting, and barbaric.

It looks like the mother owlbear in the cave didn't make it. I found her cub taken captive at the camp and bargained with a goblin woman to set him free. I hope he can find our camp.

Volothamp Geddarm, of all people, was imprisoned by a goblin woman who called him her 'pigeon'. I watched him floundering to come up with a verse in front of an audience of drunk goblins. I spoke with him in camp tonight, and he had 0 interesting things to say and kept constantly talking over me. A classic mansplainer. Never meet your heroes. Not that he is really my hero. His music really isn't my style, and I don't tend to read fairy tales either. He's more like someone I'm obligated to know about in my profession. Still, color me unimpressed.

We found Halsin at the goblin camp, alive and imprisoned. We helped free him and kill his captors. He knew immediately that I was infected, and that my infection was atypical. He's just as good of a healer as the druids claimed. But he can't cure us either. He does, however, know where to find our cure. Moonrise Towers. He asked us to kill the leaders of the goblin camp to protect his grove. Of course we're doing it. Also, why does every ally I make have to be so hot? IT'S VERY DISTRACTING. If I could find allies that are just average looking or even ugly, or like geriatric, or married, that would be fantastic. I hope Halsin is married. Or who knows, maybe we'll hit it off and I can forget about the dude I really like who I've definitely been hitting on that just fucking ignores me anyway.

Shadowheart has been carrying around a strange artifact this whole time. True to form she was very rude when I asked about it a tenday ago, so I ignored it. Until today. It made its way to me somehow while we were in the goblin camp. I finally heard the voice of this Absolute. It showed me a vision of its chosen, said I should aid in their search for a weapon. The power it wields to make us obey is unlike anything I've ever felt or experienced. The artifact protected us somehow.

I met the three leaders of the goblin camp. These 'True Soul' leaders all had parasites. They think I'm their ally because I'm infected. Minthara referred to me as 'grotesque'. She seems highly intelligent and tough as nails. Priestess Gut is a sadist branding everyone she can get her hands on, but not nearly as powerful as she claims to be. Dror Ragzlin is ambitious, and like all ambitious people, his ambition makes him a narrow-minded moron.

So that was yesterday up until being very sick last night in camp. Late last night Lae'zel snuck up behind me while I was sitting on the ground and put a dagger to my throat. She thought we were transforming, and she was ready to kill me, the others, and then herself. I felt her fear and her doubt, and it didn't take much to convince her to stand down. I wasn't positive we weren't transforming, but I also wasn't ready to die or let anyone else be killed over an assumption. We went to sleep after that.

According to a being that came to me in my dreams, I was sick last night because I really was transforming into a mindflayer. Lae'zel was right, but luckily she didn't kill me or anyone else. This guardian guy, a big, strange-looking, half elf male in fancy armor, says he made me better. Told me I needed to wield the power the parasite has granted me, that I had potential and could 'save us all'. Claimed to be my protector, and that he was fighting 'the enemy'. So purposely vague. Another day, another sales pitch. I don't know if I buy it. Perhaps some of it is true. I remain extremely skeptical.

Gale spoke to me this morning about the visitor in his dream, a supposed 'vision of unparalleled beauty and power'. I am truly annoyed that I felt so jealous upon hearing him say so. He confirmed what I'd suspected about mine. It wasn't a real person.

Everyone had the same dream, with a different guardian. Just when I thought shit could not get any weirder.

Today we attacked the goblin camp.

We went after Minthara first, as she is clearly the most dangerous and capable of the three. She was also closest to where Halsin was imprisoned and there was a scrying eye that would have made subterfuge impossible. When I struck what I'm sure everyone thought was the final blow I deliberately knocked her unconscious rather than killing her. I spared her without telling anyone. I thought about how if I did not have this weird entity or that weird box protecting me from the Absolute, I could be just like she is. I could not bring myself to kill her. I made an emotional decision, and I could definitely come to regret it later. Halsin could hate me for what I did. Minthara would likely kill me for what I did. She is Lolth-sworn drow. This would be utterly humiliating for her if she knew. Maybe she won't know though. The others didn't realize what I'd done. We stripped her while she was unconscious like we would have a corpse. I had a parasite in my bag that I nicked off Nettie's table when no one was looking, and I said it came from Minthara. Maybe her being alive can just be a 'miraculous survival'. I'm hoping the Absolute lost its influence there because of all the followers we murdered, and she can get a chance to be free. And this is yet another reason why I feel like I did something truly dumb: I'm not even sure that's how this works. I could have just condemned her to be a mindflayer and doomed many, or failed to make any change at all to her situation (which means she most certainly could get killed outright for her failure as a leader). I can only really hope for the best and live with the consequences of what I've done, whatever they may be.

I'm getting really tired of having to make all these crucial decisions that not only direct my fate, but also the fates of so many others.

When we pulled the tadpoles from Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin, the guardian spoke to me in my mind, encouraged me to absorb their potential. I hesitated, but he promised to protect me, so I consumed it. I don't even know where to start in describing the feeling. To put it simply: weird, cold, uncomfortable, but also good. I feel more powerful, and I'm still myself.

Astarion immediately wanted one for himself, put on a cute pouty face and everything. He's so funny. He could have just asked without the theatrics. However, of course I love the theatrics. We made a deal not long after we met that for any locks he picks on chests he can claim the contents for himself. Anything he keeps or gives away is fully at his discretion, and no one gets a say in that. I give him all the tools and kits to pick locks and disarm traps, and he takes care of that for us. That was the deal. When it comes to picking locks and spotting and disarming traps, he's the best I've ever seen. He makes it look easy. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I noticed the last few chests he's picked locks to open, he's asked the rest of us if we can make use of some of the things he finds. Today he opened a chest with infernal iron and willingly handed it to Karlach. He could have easily stashed it away and not a one of us would have been the wiser. That metal is worth a lot of coin. He's actually becoming a team player. I'm honestly impressed, he continues to surprise me. I thought at first he would be our biggest liability, but the opposite is true. He's proven himself to be our biggest asset. Naturally, I won't tell him that.

We found the way into the heart of the Selûnite temple the goblins were using for their camp. There's a ladder leading down into a chasm, and it's impossible to see the bottom. It's safe to say we found one way into the Underdark. I think I want to keep looking, because that ladder looks so fucking shady. Could just be my thing with heights though. I fucking hate heights.

Halsin suggested we celebrate tonight, rather than get an early start tomorrow. He reassured me our infection would be unlikely to progress spontaneously. He also doesn't know all of us nearly turned just last night. I hope he's right. I thought it could be really fun to let loose a little, and celebrate what turned out to be quite a victory. Saved the grove, saved the tieflings, freed Halsin, dispersed the Absolutists from this region, AND found another potential path for our cure.

When the party began, I wanted to talk to Gale right away if I'm being honest. But I thought, “Let's make him wait until I've spoken with literally everyone else but him. Let's see if he even notices, approaches me, or says anything about it at all when I speak to him”. Decided to test him. So I've barreled right past coping with his constant subtle rejection of me to being conniving to force him to actually reject me directly. You will never hear me proclaim to be mature or graceful, especially in matters of the heart. If he paid any attention at all, he got to watch nearly every single person I talked to either flirt with me or proposition me. I honestly lost count of how many people propositioned me... someone must have put something in the damn wine. I think Halsin and I were the only people not drinking it. I took a swig of Astarion's and spit it out immediately because it was so gross. Anyway... I made Gale think I was coming towards him halfway through making my way around the party, only to let Volo take me by the arm and whisk me right past him. I caught his eye and sent him the sultriest look I could manage without it being campy. Then I made an ass of myself flirting with Halsin. I don't know if Gale even noticed any of it. He probably didn't. The stupid shit I have pulled to try to get this man to acknowledge me...

When I spoke to him, he finally, finally, fucking finally opened up to me some. He talked about how he'd been living with his condition. Until he was kidnapped, he'd been in isolation for a year, maybe more. I was the first person he'd spent any significant amount of time with. He made some self-deprecating remark about leaving his wits and sensitivity behind in his tower. It took every bit of self-control I had not to just pounce on him. Instead I blurted out an 'I like you' sort of confession. But you know, snazzier than that in the moment because hi, it's me. Gave up on the whole 'done being obvious' thing once again and went right back to being obvious.

He paused before saying, 'Wait, are you...' and then he interrupted himself. Said something about how he'd clearly had too much wine and I not enough... and then proceeded to tell me that getting excited is a bad idea for him because of his condition. 'A conversation best held back for now.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH.

Boy I will prepare a fucking dragon's hoard of magical items for you to consume continuously while we lie together if that's what it takes. I am so frustrated. I want to have this explained to me in a way that actually makes sense. He's fucking hiding something. Something huge. And until now, I was too much of a lovesick puppy to see it. I had to have it thrown in my face for me to notice.

I'm starting to feel like I'm being played. I'm pissed.

So naturally I spend the night with someone else I like. Karlach. And then I friend-zoned her. I said yes to her earlier tonight because I knew what she wanted, and I knew what I was going to do. Worse yet, she wasn't the only person I strung along last night. And why would I do that to someone who would hang the moon for me, who has only ever been kind to me, who is probably the coolest person I've ever met and will ever meet? After all, aren't I the hero goody-two-shoes people pleasing sweet lovely little doll-faced creature everyone thinks I am? I'll tell you exactly why. Because deep down, I'm a fucking asshole, and now I'm getting exactly what I deserve for it. I feel like absolute shit about tonight, and I will for a long time. Probably forever. My guilt and shame are endless.

These are the exact reasons why I always end up alone.

I know I've been emotionally circling the drain for an entire page of writing now. I need to go to bed.

<<< Day 10 | Index | Day 13 >>>

[livelovesimallways]

"Prayed Up...." Pt. 2

Previous/Next

Read more under the link.

*after giving her a hug* "Congratulations..."

"Thanks, I guess."

*smirks* " I'm ignoring that. So anyway, how far along do you think you are?"

"Umm, after my ultrasound the doctor said I was about eight weeks. That was a some days ago so I'd say almost nine."

"Well, damn! That's pretty far, Dee!" *agitated* "When were you gonna tell me? And to have your first ultrasound too? Did anyone go with you at least?"

"No." *in a low tone* "Mimi was out of town and..."

"...Your sister wasn't an option?? I just don't get why you didn't tell me. I would've been by your side, no questions asked. To find out from friends after you had some issues is insane."

"I know..." *trying not to cry*

"Look, I'm sorry for getting all riled up. Even though you're an adult, you're still my baby. As a parent you'll always want to know what's going on with your child. And as my child, I will always have your back. You don't have to go through this alone. You have a village: Me, Mimi, and Sean." *looks at him* "Right Boo??"

*clears his throat* "Yeah..."

"Speaking of support, does your sugar daddy know he has a baby on the way? With all the gifts he buys you, he can surely step up."

"It's not his..."

"Okay...Well, did you tell the father then?"

"No..." *low toned*

"Shit..." *starts rubbing her back* "Listen, I know this is hard for you, but you have to at least tell him. Every child deserves both parents. Now if he doesn't want to be there, then that's on him. You have us." *rubs her back again* "Okay Dee??"

"Fuck..." *starts crying* "I am so sorry Dana. This isn't how either one of us expected things to turn out. If I didn't foolishly fall in love with him, none of this would've happened. I met him freshman year, fell head over heels that summer, and then was ghosted in the fall. I never thought I would see him again but I did and those feelings came back. I even justified shit. It was not supposed to go this far and now..."

"Listen, first you need to calm down. Shaking and stressing like this ain't good. There's no need to beat yourself up. We've all gone back to an Ex."

"You don't understand..."

"Alright...Then help me. Start with who this guy is and why this situation has you so stressed."

*starts crying again* "...It's Sean."

"Hold up...I think I heard wrong. I know you don't mean...?" *stares at him*

"I do..." *sobbing*

"Wow...Okay." *immediately gets up*

"I know you're not standing there nonchalant like that! Are you for real!? My mothafuckin sister!??" *slightly pushes him* "I met you that fall after y'all little fling. Why the fuck did you involve me!?" *pushes him again* "What kind of twisted shit are y'all on?"

"It wasn't the whole time, I swear. I'm so sorry Dana!" *still sobbing*

"So you're really not gonna say anything!?" *ignoring her*

"There's nothing I can say to help any of this. She was easy access, that's all. I don't know shit about a baby."

"Well now your disgusting ass does." *turns around* "And you! You need to cut that sorry shit the fuck out.! You're not sorry and you ain't a victim of love. You knew you were wrong and didn't care until shit blew up in your face. You're only stressed and scared because you're about to be alone."

"Here!" *throws her ring* "You earned it. I hope for your child's sake things work out." *leaves out*

"Are you fuckin happy now!? You've been dying to get her out of the picture so why all this crying?"

"I just wanted to be with you. Not have all this happen."

"How many times did I have to tell you to cut that delusional shit out? Why the hell did you tell her if you didn't want this to happen? And what the fuck is up with this baby shit?"

"I told her because I'm pregnant, Sean! I've only been with you and the guy I've been seeing. He had a vasectomy so it's obviously yours."

"Fuck! This is crazy." *starts pacing* "I hope you know shit ain't gonna go the way you want. We're not gonna be a family. I'll be there for the kid but that's where it ends. No one can know, Dee. I'll lose everything and that affects more than just me now. I'm gonna call my lawyer and get some things in place. Make a list of all the things your gonna need and I'll have it sent. Once the baby gets here, we'll figure out visitation and support, but until then, you're on your own.

To Be Continued......

[h5eavenly]

oh my god i just fell down to my knees in the middle of the parking lot

first of all y/n is a better person than me bc i would've denied everything. bc how are you gonna pull up TO MY PLACE and rat me out to MY BF under MY roof???? just ain't no way 😭 i can't really defend y/n on the bet thing but i will say the absolute fucking NERVE to show up to her door and expose her in her own household yeji was so wrong for that i'm cryinggg 😭😭 i would've gaslit them both into the next lifetime like my love she's clearly not in a right mental space rn don't listen to her 😭😭😭 it would've been so bad bc ain't no way you're giving me a read like that under my own roof baby we can go outside for this

but in all seriousness woah this is really crazy. your gf is telling you that she was forced to sleep with somebody and that she was threatened and harassed for months and you're telling her that it's always everybody else's fault but never hers..... yea it's really crazy. i understand hyune's frustration and where he's coming from bc he basically just found out y/n had been continuously lying to him even though he created many opportunities for her to come clean to him and i understand he didn't really mean it but that was a lot. btw the chapter was beautifully written as always, and i particularly love how you work with these characters and make them so nuanced and three-dimensional that you can tell when they're saying stuff they don't necessarily mean but still can understand where they're coming from + how their statements validate their anger bc even if the statement itself is absolutely out of place, their feelings are justified and both things are true at once so you can't bluntly judge one of these things without acknowledging the other. ik i sound like a broken record but the intricate layers that you work with regarding this smau make my literary theory loving self so happy and you deserve all the flowers for it. im absolutely obsessed and my heart is still 200 metres deep like we might as well just bury it atp but i loved every single line 🩷

good news is cat is finally out of the bag!!!! and everybody cheered bc now yeosang has nothing on y/n and he can be finally dealt with. ik we still have a long way to go bc honestly seungmin's revelation gagged me a bit i was like oh???? we still haven't seen hanji and ayen either and im honestly so seated for their carousel debut. but woah this was really the highlight of my week i haven't felt so many things in such a short time in literal days

NO BC same id deny everything like my life depended on it worst case id pretend to fall into a rare amnesia out of nowhere like uhh WHO ARE YOU GUYS EVEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE🤨 🤨🤨

it feels like hyune was too overwhelmed by the weight and length of her lie to fully register what shes saying like he heard everything but didnt really listen

baby :(( idek how to respond to you rn im speechless im just so happy that you think so of my writing i wanna cry and scream and idk thank youu so much i have stopped writing for years and this series was the first thing ive written in a while so to see this overwhelming love and positivity is insane to me :(( also i dont think the rest of skz are gonna debut in carousel tbh han might make an appearance in the past like seungmin but thats about it🥺💗💗 im happy you enjoyed this ty for writing to me🥺🥺

[thedandelionthief]

one of your aftg guys for blorbo bingo !!

you get three of them because i’m insane

in order it’s neil, andrew, renee

NEIL. NEIL JOSTEN THE ONE AND ONLY. i heard they’re making a new mental illness for him in the dsm 6. this guy has been through literally every bad thing possible and yet he’s still so. himself. and i absolutely love him for it. the character development is INSANE whenever he calls the foxes his family it makes me violently sob and shake my kindle at impossible speeds. i would love to give him some hot soup. he’s also one of the funniest protagonists in any book series ever? i love characters who have 0 filter and are incredibly sarcastic and snarky (that word makes me violent but it’s the best way to describe it). whenever he insulted riko i cheered for him out loud. it’s crazy how a character with this much tragedy going on in his life that has made me cry and be more worried for a character than i ever have in my life (the countdown literally made me sick), he also has some of the funniest lines in anything i’ve read ever. he’s such a guy i love him so much and i want only the best for him in his future

andrew on the other hand IS literally the blood that courses through my veins hes my everything and i fully support every bad decision he has ever made. when i was first reading the foxhole court i was like “this guy sucks as a person” and then i got halfway through the book and realized that he’s actually like. a very caring and protective guy who just wants the best for his family and the few people he chooses to let in even though he goes about it in very unorthodox and destructive ways (such as murder. i’m talking about murder. he killed his twin brother’s mom). but even then it all makes SENSE. like he doesn’t act without reason at all and i think there’s so much depth to his character that you don’t see at first and it’s interesting how that parallels with the whole monster branding and how the other foxes see him… also his thing with promises makes me INSANE i could write a five page essay. he’s not as well. funny as neil?? so this section probably seems a bit more serious. he’s so intense all the time, but he definitely does have his funny moments, usually with some really good sarcasm which once again i love more than anything. overall his methods must have rubbed off on me because i was fully prepared to kill everyone who has ever hurt him after finishing the series

and renee!!!! <3 she was originally my favorite character and then i fell down a rabbit hole of andrew minyard insanity. but i still love her SO MUCH. i think it’s really cool to see a christian character who is seen as calm and wise who is ALSO extremely skilled with knives and not afraid to hold her ground. the fact that nora makes a point of showing how her faith doesn’t take away from her strength but instead adds to it is. mwah chefs kiss. also she’s been through so much and still came out of it such a kind person. and she talks about how she CHOOSES to be a kind person. it isn’t something easy, she doesn’t just wake up every day and love her life because with everything going on around her and in her past that would be so difficult. but she chooses to try and be a good person even though she doesn’t believe that she is one. she’s just so important to me i love her and i need to give her a hug

if you read all that i’m sorry

[moriartyluver]

The only thing keeping me sane abt the baby is the fact that they can always make another pen and he wasn’t even that formed yet😭

The bouquets of lilies being fresh is going to ruin him even more because it means she was still mourning until then

Honestly fl has every right to be salty for a little, girlie lost and had to deal with sm

Imagine William trying to get her attention and constantly glancing at her during the dinner because he hasn’t seen her in so long and just can’t get enough of her but he’s also scared to keep looking at her for a long time because he doesn’t wanna bother her🤭

Bro definitely had a little shrine, it was like a Lana Del Rey shrine expect for fl instead

Louis is such a therapist, mostly a couples one but he could definitely be a good children’s therapist

YES EVERY ROOM.

Okay not every room but most rooms, and they had done it in a bathtub, end of story

Almost everyone in the gang had heard them😞 they are traumatized but fl and liam couldn’t care less

Honestly almost all the mtp characters are probably virgins and haven’t had their first kiss or a crush

Actually I take that back I feel like liam would’ve had these small crushes (that mainly formed from admiration) when he was a teen for a few people but they weren’t like big ‘I wanna marry you’ crushes but just small short ‘wow you’re so cool, kind and smart I’m gonna crush on you for a few days and then move on’ type of crushes

HELP FL MAKING IT A COMPETITION

PAUSE

WDYM BY THAT

So is the something part of fl or something different😟

🎀.

I think the saddest part abt losing the baby for fl would be losing the last thing she had of liam. It was mostly because the baby was an extension of her dead lover that had her so distraught

Fl would still be wearing traditional black mourning clothes when William sees her again and all the people who didn’t know abt William coming back would ever so confused when she suddenly starts wearing other colours again

Thing is with fl is that she’s actually really understanding but she doesn’t show it if that makes sense. Like she lets William back in really easily because she knows that even tho he was selfish for not finding her as soon as he could, she knows he was suffering a lot in her absence and physically too. She doesn’t think what he said to her before he jumped into the Thames was right but she sympathises with him bc she realises soon after that he was trying to push her away for a reason

Honestly fl and Liam are giving that one lyric in flawless by the neighbourhood “So, she put his heart in a bag, he wouldn't ask for it back He didn't want her to cry, she didn't want to be sad She said, you better not leave me This shit'll be fucked for days and weeks and months”

He keeps trying to sneak little looks at her because he thinks she got even prettier although tired, in his absence and he can’t take his eyes off her aww. The moment their relationship goes back to normal, they can actually love each other freely without having to worry about anything. Fl breaks off her engagement to liam wannabe and lives with him happily ever after and they have a bunch of kids who are little hybrids of them

I swear liam is on the very thin line between normal love & infatuation and then just insane obsession and low-key yandere type of love for fl. the shrine is such a funny concept tho like imagine one of his brothers sees his little collection of photos that he has of fl and him together. Gets worse after they get married 😭

Louis is og Charlie’s and og Lottie’s therapist u can’t tell me otherwise. He had to do couples counselling for fl and Liam except that wasn’t very hard tbh.

NAH THE BATHTUB 😭 THEYRE SO DOWN BAD. Only the other members of the gang’s bedrooms are safe. Every damn room is crazy 😭 they didn’t have much time. Had to make it count. Arguably Moran has had it the worst out of all of them. We make fun of him for being a cockblock but for him all of a sudden he’s walking in on some kid he’s known since said kid was a teenager getting pinned to a desk by his not actually wife

The only mtp characters I can imagine getting any sort of action would be Moran, James, possibly Albert?? John but that’s because he’s married. Patterson low-key a dilf like bros 40 and still looking fine. Most of the others have never even spoken to a woman let alone kissed one

I relate to liams crush situation. It’s usually platonic but the admiration makes it feel romantic if that makes sense. I’ve never had a proper proper crush on a guy before bc British dudes are NASTY unless they’re from mtp.

Liam is just such a hoe and it’s so funny to kind of mischaracterise his nerdy ass that way man 😭

[siren-of-redriver96]

Assembled all my fun dialogues for Fantastic Beasts

Enjoy :)

Rolf: Grandma, before you met grandpa… was there any other man you liked?

Tina: Well, there was one, yes… he was considering to ask me out, before dissapearing for a long time…

Rolf: Oh…

Tina: And then we got to the situation most stories you’ve heard from us start with.

Newt Scamander appeared, and everything went differently.

*

Newt: I don’t like it when people start their sentences with “Mr. Scamander”… it’s usually either a complaint or something about my brother.

Theseus: (to everyone sitting around him) In case you’re wondering, this is a third of my working life.

*

Newt: (quietly) Would you like to visit me in London?Tina: Huh?

Theseus: (in the background) He said “Would you like to live with me in London".

Newt: Shut up!

Queenie: Heard that too!

Newt: I didn’t say that!

Queenie: Ah, no… sorry, my bad, you thought it.

Newt: Bloody …           

*

Newt: (before starting to realize a plan) Theseus … can you remind the ministry that it needs me?

Theseus: (pinching the bridge of his nose, nodding)

*

Random official: Mr. Scamander, you’re completely insane!

Newt: And, by Merlin, I’m enjoying every second of it!

*

Jacob: So, yes, he got us both out of that situation at the bank … and he actually wanted to take care of me all alone, but Tina took us home …

Theseus: Ah yeah… nothing unusual so far, but … he then took you to his case after only having known you for a day?

Jacob: Yes… he just asked me to feed some creatures after I was better … but I guess that’s not that weird…

Theseus: Actually… forget it, go on.

(…)

Jacob: After he had caught that Erumpent … I thought it was about time…

Theseus: For what?

Jacob: To switch to first names…

Theseus: (stills for a moment, then surpresses a laugh) Alright… go on, please.

(…)

Jacob: And then I stepped out into the rain … poor guys, they were all crying …

Theseus: Newt was… crying? When you were leaving them?

Jacob: Yes… almost as bad as Queenie…

(…)

Jacob: Anyway, I could only open my bakery because he left me that suitcase full over occamy egg shells, with that letter saying it was from a well-wisher… I would have preferred “friend”, but… words are just words, we were from the beginning, I think.

Theseus: Very well… then I suppose it’s time.

Jacob: For what?

Theseus: (streches out hand) First names.

*

Tina: So, after I saw him using magic openly at the bank, I of course had to take action.

Theseus: So, your first official meeting was when you … arrested him. (heavily surpresses laughter) Go on.

(…)

Tina: Then I took him to my office instead…

Theseus: And he didn’t resist all the way from the bank? Not even a bit?

Tina: No… I didn’t even have to use shackles. just held his arm… is that unusual?

Theseus: It’s interesting …  

(…)

Tina: And when I entered the room, the beds were empty.

Theseus: Ah, classic Newt.

Tina: And there was dust by the end of the bedsheet … I suspect he didn’t take his shoes off…

Theseus: That… is new, I assure you.

Tina: I suppose because we were strangers…

Theseus: Were, ah…

(…)

Tina: And then he called that we needed an insect and a teapot…

Theseus: Ah yes, he likes that combination.

(…)

Theseus: He… took your hand? Touched you?

Tina: Yes, I guess because I was in shock… but he did try to wipe some mustard from my lip before, and at the port he… (blushes) … not important.

Theseus: (smirks) Tina … such a small name…

*

Years later…

Newt (stay at home dad at this point) comes to pick up Tina from the department after work.

Auror: Scamander, you’re wife’s here!

Tina: (leaves her office and comes over to him with a broad smile) Wife!

Newt: Hello, husband. (kisses her, beaming)

Tina: (chuckles and takes his hand as they walk away)

Other auror: Forget it man, these two are invincible. And crazy … and very happy - it’s all very frustrating.

*

Rio: Watching full-grown Chupacabra nearby while Newt approaches it

Nagini: What is that?

Jacob: He’d have a name for it…

Theseus: He’d have a first name for it.

Newt: (notices a pattern on it’s left leg - beams) Antonio!

Everyone: (raspberries)

Tina: (chuckling) Shh!

*

Theseus: I thought you had actually switched sides … why else would you use my face to get into the ministry?

Newt: Because you keep on hairing onto me?

Theseus: … what?

Newt: Yes, everytime you hug me, you loose them like an old Doxy. Whenever I need to use polyjuice, all I have to do is check my shoulders …

Theseus: (stills) …  what do you mean “whenever”?

Newt: Erm… never for directly illegal purposes… (blushes)

Theseus: How many times?

Newt: (thinks … a few moments pass as he slightly nods a few times)

Theseus: Are you honestly … counting?

Newt: Hope I can…

Theseus: (covers his face in his hands with a groan)

Tina: (shakes her head) I think we can consider “frequently”…

Theseus: (nods into his hands)

*

Travis: You want an end to the ban on you traveling internationally. Why?

Newt: (whispers) She has salamander eyes…

Travis: Pardon?

Newt: There are creatures out there I’d… like to supervise!

*

Mrs. Esposito: (calls upstairs) Tina? There is a Mr. Scamander for you here!

Tina: …… tell him I do not want to see him!

Theseus: Don’t worry, I get that all the time …

Tina: … (slowly walks out the door to the top of the stairs)

Theseus: (smiles) Hey Teenie.

Tina: (runs down the stairs into his arms, hugs him tightly)

Mrs. Esposito: (stares)

Tina: Don’t worry, we’re taking a walk outside.

Theseus: Absolutely.

Mrs. Esposito: Very well… but be careful!

Theseus: Don’t worry, I know not to mess with her … (chuckles)

Tina: (laughs) He does…

(they leave)

*

Newt releases three full grown dragons against Grindelwald’s followers in the ministry’s atrium

Travis: … Scamander, how is that better?!

Newt: Well, it can’t get any worse now, sir.

Tina: (looks at Theseus help-searchingly)

Theseus: Hey, you insisted on marrying him.

*

Queenie: We stand as one, united, against the puritan ...                                  

Tina: (joins in) We draw our inspiration from good witch Morrigan ...

Newt: (accepts challenge) Our heads could do with filling, with some interesting stuff!                                         

Theseus: (joins) For now they're bare and full of air, dead flies and bits of fluff! 

Bunty: (joins too) So teach us things worth knowing... 

Jacob: (joins Tina and Queenie as they start screaming) WE CHO-CHOOSE IT!

Newt, Theseus and Bunty: JUST DO YOUR BEST, WE'LL DO THE REST!      

Tina, Queenie and Jacob: THE CASTLE WALLS THAT KEPT US SAFE...       

Hogwarts: AND LEARN UNTIL OUR BRAINS ALL ROT!!!                                    Illvermorny: YOU TAUGHT US ALL OUR MAGIC, AND NOW ONE THINGS QUITE CLEAR                                        

Hogwarts: HOGWARTS HOGWARTS HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS, TEACH US SOMETHING PLEASE (ENTER CANON)  

Illvermorny: WHERE'VE ROAM, WHERE'VE ROAM, OUR ONE TRUE HOME, OUR ONE AND OWN, IS                                         

Hogwarts: YOUNG WITH SCABBY KNEES

*

British auror: So how did you and Newt Scamander meet?

Tina: I arrested him.

Entire divison: 🤣

*

Theseus: (taking Newt’s testimony) Alright…

Newt: Any more questions?

Theseus: Most should be covered, but there’s one thing I’m still … trying to understand…

Newt: Yes?

Theseus: (lets down the quill magically and folds his hands on the table, looking at him for a few moments) Several pedestrians in Paris witnessed something strange, right after you arrived - we thought it was gossip, but Jacob confirmed it. (sighs) Newt… why did you lick the street?

Newt: Ah, that … that was research? There had been creatures in this area, and then I found this puddle … I do realize-

Theseus: A puddle? … you licked rain water off a street?

Newt: Not exactly. It was saliva.

Theseus: ………………… 😐

Newt: (sighs) Spit.

Theseus: I know.

Newt: Good. It was the Zou-Ou’s. That’s what brought me onto it’s tracks.

Theseus: You licked the saliva of a creature off a sidewalk in Paris? Is that accurate?

Newt: Yes. (thinks a moment, then chuckles) Have fun writing that down.

Theseus: We’ll scratch that. Travis would have you admitted. (sighs again, massages the bridge of his nose) Did it taste well?

Newt: … it was saliva, off a city sidewalk!

Theseus: (chuckles in painful)

Newt: … reminded me of your fashion sense, to be honest …

Theseus: Yeah right, stoplight …

Newt: (joins in chuckling) …. you need a vacation, right?

Theseus: Like I’m ever that lucky…

*

Percival: I've been seeing the same story for years ... young aspiring auror shows up, outstands everyone, career is going steadily towards the top - and then some wretched guy shows up and ruins her life.                                         

Newt: Oh boy, did I!                                         

Tina: Oh boy, did you!                                         

Everyone else: OH BOY, DID HE!!! (cheer)

*

Tina: (packing her file bag in the almost empty office)

Theseus: (calls through the office, semi offended) Goldstein!

Tina: (hides behind her table) Darn it…

Theseus: Where is she? (stops before her table, crosses his arms) Goldstein.

Tina: (rises slowly - one eyebrow then as well though)

Theseus: Did you tell Haystach from Mysteries’ you may be joining us for drinks tonight?

Tina: (puts an hand to her hip - with a slight smirk) Are you denying me my night off, Mr. Scamander?

Theseus: Right, Mr.-Scamander me. I granted you one on Wednesday, didn’t I?

Tina: (sighs) I got my ��History of Hogwarts” copy just yesterday!

Theseus: You told me you wanted to meet new people. That’s how it usually happens.

Tina: I think I’ve met plenty already. Why don’t you entertain them tonight?

Theseus: Cause it won’t be fun without you?

Tina: …. fine. Though I think neither of us should get into drinking this often right now.

Theseus: (chuckles) I’ll just take your drink away in time.

Tina: (laughs) I’ll tie you to the bar, mister! And leave you there!

Theseus: Feel free if I should order a third whiskey.

Tina: I will. (packs up a file)

Theseus: (summons her coat, hands it to her with a grin)

Tina: (smirks halfly at him) You’re the worst.

Theseus: You too, Goldy. Come on.

(they walk to the door - yet he falls halfway from a rope stringing him to a table)

Tina: (leans against the doorframe, snickering) It’s time you get a night off too, right?

Theseus: (half-serious) You wouldn’t!

Tina: (walks away) Good night, Mr. Scamander!

Theseus: (sighs, reaches out for the rope, which loosens yet before he can)

Tina: Come on, we’ll be late!

*

Tina: (about Theseus) He needs to control his temper.

Also Tina, narrating: Two months later, after one of working as a legal defendant for your father, I realized this man had the combined patience of this country

Newt: Isn’t much though, right?

Tina: Which was just enough to deal with your father, true…

*

Queenie: (skips through minds around)

Tina: (hums in her head) …. dam dam dam dam … Mr. Scamander, send me a dream …

Queenie: (falls off her chair laughing)

Tina: NOOO

*

Newt: I've had people complain about my aura... but I don't, so...      

Tina: (kisses him on the cheek)

*

(a near incorrect quote)

Theseus: You’re mad.

Newt: Thank Goodness for that! Because if I wasn’t, this would probably never work!

*

Newt: Hey, would you like to see a magic trick?           

Theseus: Er, sure?                                         

Newt: Tina!                                         

Tina: (in the distance) What?                                         

Newt: Theseus attacked me!                                         

Theseus: Wha- I didn't... (gets tied to chair)                                         

Newt: :D                                         

Theseus: I didn't attack him!                                         

Tina: (peeks through the door) I know.                                        

Newt: (runs away with her, both giggling)                                         

Theseus: You two are ministry officials!                                         

Newt & Tina: mInIsTrY oFfIciAlLs

*

Jacob: Sometimes I wonder how Newt is has his job.

Theseus: Because I’m good at my job.

*

Newt: Darling?

Tina: What?

Newt: Where is my suitcase?

Tina: What?

Newt: Where - is - my  - suit - case?

Tina: I, er … put it away.

Newt: Where to?

Tina: Why do you need to know?

Newt: I need it!

Tina: Uh-uh! Don’t you think about getting into trouble today! We’ve been planning this dinner for two months!

Newt: The public is in danger!

Tina: Then you and your case should stay in here, don‘t you think?

Newt: Would you please tell me where my case is, Porpentina? We are talking about the greater good!

*silence*

Tina: *peeks out of the kitchen* “Greater good”, you say?

Newt: Yes…

Tina: *fetches her wand and tosses him the suitcase* Let’s go!

*

[ruminate88]

My Therapy Session: Why I was in a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable ppl

Healing Journal 09/05/24

I write a lot of songs to heal through and process everything that I’ve went through and usually through music, the lyrics just flow. I just open up my mind and heart and let whatever comes out, come out!! This is what came out today:

“This is my therapy session: I went headfirst into their oceans Just to find they have no emotions They were a mirror of what needs healing I hid behind my feelings

We don’t talk about anything deep All I want is to go to sleep Use me and hold me tight But there’s no true peace in the night

Are we just running from intimacy? Are you showing how much I don’t love me?”

after writing these lyrics down and then recording them and listening back, I had a moment of self discovery here!!!! I knew in school they had labeled me. The teachers made me feel stupid and sometimes kids laughed me or my best friend Lori too!! 😔 I often felt very stupid and as if nobody ever liked me, I had a lot of cousins growing up and they never left me out buuuuutttttt, I always felt something was different in me compared to everyone else and I never knew why I felt this way. I still don’t know why I felt that way. 🤔😟

however, as I look back at my younger days, I realize there is a wound there that never really got healed because when I dropped out of school after the seventh grade, I was thrusted in to taking care of everybody and becoming the family caretaker. I was never able to really stop and heal from school. Then when I’m an adult, I still do not feel good enough and when I met Cody, woooooooooow!!!!!!!!!!! Cody also said he felt the same way as me! he felt like an outcast the same way that I did He always felt like something was different with him too, and we instantly bonded over that and also, I could not believe how insanely attractive Cody was it blew my mind. 🤯🤯🤯🤯 I did not think Cody would like me AT ALL because he’s so gorgeous and I felt so ugly compared to him. I legit compared myself to him so hard-core and did not feel good enough for him. sadly, I was looking at his appearance and not his heart or personality... (I’m sorry cody) He did make me feel seen and heard at first, which meant more to me than anything at that time!! Cody will never know what that meant to me and how much that impacted me!!! Yet when Cody ghosted me later, it took all of that away and made me feel even more stupid than when I first met him….. 😭💔💔💔

so then, when I date Andrew, I also think Andrew is insanely gorgeous, and I’m just dumbfounded why he would even talk to me at all because I feel deep in my heart, Andrew can also have any beautiful girl he wants!!! so, why would he notice me at all? It didn’t seem real!!!!! I never fully believed in it , I compared myself to Andrew even worse this time because I was so wounded from Cody now and I know I projected that onto Andrew!!! however, Andrew kept crying that heeeeeeee, wasn’t good enough for me and every time he said it, it dumbfounded me and surprised me. 🤔😳🤯 Why would he say that? He’s so smart. He’s so insanely gorgeous. He seems like a really popular guy. He had over 2000 followers on Instagram and Facebook so, what did he want with me? I beat my self up, but when Andrew kept talking to me and saying really romantic things to me, soooooo I slowly let my guard down to let him in, ❤️‍🩹🫶🏻💔 BUT I was terrified to have real, deep, conversations with him because I did not feel smart enough, MOSTLY cuz he was in college but he was so gorgeous too. 🥵🥵🥵 He would flirt with me and ahhhhh I would lose my mind!!! I thought back then he was crazy sexy and I just wanted to give him every part of me!! I wanted Andrew to have my body, my heart, soul AND mind!! 😫 yeah, I was terrified to get super close because if I did, he would think I was stupid and I was never going to be good enough for him but he kept saying he wasn’t good enough for me over and over 😝😳🤔🤷🏻‍♀️ so many times he said it and also said “I’m not worthy of your love” but I felt that way too. I just didn’t understand it back then!! it was extremely sad and the relationship was doomed from the start. I eventually towards the end started trying to get closer to him and more open but he was so closed off, I was just getting frustrated and confused. If I could be brave to open up, why couldn’t he? 😆💀

I couldn’t be my real authentic self although I wanted to be sooooo bad cuz I had a fear of being fake. I tried to come at Andrew with genuine intentions. I never wanted to hurt him. I would never ever hurt him and I wasn’t trying to use him. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I desperately wanted to be closer to him, but I was afraid that he was going to hurt me like Cody did. (Which he did) but I did want to know him more and be with him so badly. I just couldn’t wrap my head around what I was looking at every time he sent me a selfie on Snapchat. I would just gaze at his snaps, thinking, wooooow 🤩🤯🤯🤯 there’s no way he looks this beautiful and thinks that I’m beautiful too. It’s not possible. I had zero confidence in myself!!!! 😞😞😞😞❤️‍🩹

realizing now that the reason I would chase these emotionally unavailable, people, is to hide there. They don’t talk real deep with me and that was fine because I felt stupid and I didn’t want to open up and look stupid regardless because of the way they betrayed me. I see now these wounds all go deeper and further beyond just Cody and Andrew and of course, what Jake did too!! (which I know I need to talk more about Jake and deal with him because there’s a lot there but I’ve been focused on Andrew and Cody.) It all hurts so it doesn’t matter who I’m talking about ❤️‍🩹

If you ask me when it stops hurting, I would say, “Be patient, don’t give up on God and it’s different for each person!! You don’t want to hate people plus you wanna forgive them for yourself ❤️‍🩹 forgiving them doesn’t just take all the pain away or change what they did, but it releases you from being trapped in a box. We’ve all been there before. Open the box and let yourself out. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 FORGIVENESS IS ALSO A PROCESS!!

LOOKING AT PEOPLE’S APPEARANCES ONLY, IS NOT FAIR OR RIGHT FOR ANYONE! NO ONE CAN CONTROL HOW THEY WERE CREATED AND THE HEART IS A LIVING AND BREATHING THING THAT NEEDS SO MUCH LOVE ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I AM SORRY TO CODY AND ANDREW IF YOU NEEDED HEALING AND SO DID I. I COULD NOT HELP YOU HOW YOU NEEDED AND YOU ONLY HURT ME MORE!

[aresxseunggi]

103 — sgs 27th.

MOVED FROM DISCORD.

italics: @idleds the way i just realized this didn't tag you :(

bold + blockquote: me

ares was, in every sense of the word, happy. he was excited. having seunggi at his side was always his favorite thing, sure, but this? “a few more steps, baby.” was mused as he continued to guide his blindfolded fiancé. out of a car, into a building, turns and more doorways — it was safe to say this was more than a simple trek. not to mention the flight to get here, which ultimately revealed the location as thailand. but that was fine, it wasn’t necessarily the location but more so where they were now. not that seunggi knew that much seeing as since the moment they were in the car, the blindfold made its appearance. “sit for me, careful — you’re going to the floor, okay?” how insane this must sound, especially considering the fact that seunggi couldn’t see. but it would be so worth it. part one of three parts was almost here and oh — ares couldn’t stop smiling. “i’m going to take it off but i need you to keep your eyes closed. i’ll tell you when to open them, i promise.” ares was finally letting go and taking the blindfold, and followed that up with reaching for one of his fiancée hands. a large bottle was left there as another door could be heard opening, steps along the tile nearing the man on the floor. and then? then ares was taking a few backwards steps to make sure seunggi was the focus here. “go ahead and open them.” there were three people in the room, them and one other — and a ball of black and white fur in the shape of a baby panda. one that was quickly fumbling its way towards the only person with its bottle.

seunggi, by all means, was practically putty in ares' hands here. he generally felt that way about birthdays — that it was more about putting on a happy face for others, letting his reaction fuel their happiness for the day without any real thought about himself. it didn't matter; seeing them happy made him happy, too. just a bit of a cycle of giving, he supposed. but he never felt like that when it came to spending his birthday with ares (or any day, really). celebrating became actually celebrating, actually taking the time to ensure that they were both having a good time. so, when it came to putting the blindfold on, he was all for it. he trusted that whatever ares had planned would make anything and everything (including the flight) worth it.

"the floor," was murmured to himself, as if he needed to verbally remind himself to not tip and face plant on his way down. both hands fell to press his palms onto the surface before his weight settled, crossing his legs in front of him (better to keep everything close when he had no idea what the fuck was going on, no?). losing the blindfold was a bit of a relief, but he couldn't help but hold the bottle in his hand out awkwardly, not at all sure as to what he had in his grasp. then the door was opening, and seunggi felt a little bit like he was in a damn mob movie. it was weirdly quiet, he could hear footsteps getting closer, and he still had no idea what the hell was in his hand —— his eyes pulled open at the okay, first letting his confused gaze bounce around the room, before: "oh my god." oh, god, did his eyes get wide and his lips pull into a small pout after he gasped. he probably looked like a cartoon character on the verge of literal tears as he looked at the baby animal, hands outstretched to make its transition closer a little easier. "oh, god — i'm going to cry. look at you!" he cooed, hands finding the bear's little stomach — don't even get him started on that — to slip it into his lap. "hi, baby, how are you?"

a few more backwards steps, all done with a growing smile as ares found his way to the chair closest. the way his heart probably doubled in size, and only continued to swell, was a testament to how crazy he was about seunggi. simply sitting back and watching a sweet moment unfold was it’s own brand of overwhelming. something he had to capture, hence the opening of the camera, the zooming in as seunggi’s hands opened and that little bear was brought to his lap. though he was putting it on the floor soon after, adjusting it to make sure the scene in question didn’t get missed. as much as he adored the memories this camera let them capture he wanted pictures. with the way the baby panda was all but pawing at the birthday boy, of course ares was going to want pictures. “her name is mei.” ares murmured as he pulled his phone from the confines of his pockets, and in the same moment he was taking a picture or two. maybe three or four — one was bound to be clear and that’s all he wanted. “she’s four months.” came next, followed by a soft creak as he shifted back in his seat. god, he couldn’t stop smiling. this had to have been one of the best moments and he was so happy to be witnessing it. “happy birthday, baby.” he’d try not to say it too many times today, but no promises.

"mei," seunggi repeated, eyes still full of wonder as he scratched at her belly carefully. "four months? oh, god —" he gave an almost exasperated huff because, really, he was almost on the verge of tears. it wasn't a lie. he was just so happy, so content with this little living, breathing ball of fur nestled in his arms, that any more context and the dam was going to break. and that wasn't even considering the fact that ares, the love of his life — his fiancé, had set all of this up for him. his lips fell into a further pout, brows furrowing before he forced his lips into a tight line as his gaze shifted towards the man in question. "thank you," he murmured. a hand lifted, clearly reaching for ares to join him where he sat instead of all the way over there. "come here. she's so soft, a. you're gonna love her."

“m’trying to let you enjoy her.” but oh, how tempting it was. ares wasn’t even slightly immune to the cuteness in front of him, of which seunggi played a big part in. sure, mei was adorable but mei and seunggi? his face hurt from how big it made him smile. “but if you insist.” ares laughed as he happily got to his feet to again go back to seunggi’s side, which was followed by him carefully kneeling down. a hand went to seunggi’s chin to tip his head in search of a kiss before any petting could happen, though it wouldn’t be long at all before he gave into the urge. “she has a twin but kannika said they are hard to handle together.” was said in reference to the worker, eyes dropping to get a closer look at the baby. “she’s so adorable, oh my god,”

seunggi immediately scowled at that, refusing to buy into that excuse for one second. with how cute she was, there was more than enough to go around. his grin widened at the sight of the other man giving in, hand falling in to go back to scratching the panda's fur. where his gaze was glued to the baby momentarily, too, he didn't resist the tilt of his head for a kiss, all too happy to have ares by his side once more. "a twin?!" was whisper-shouted, as if the thought that there was another panda out there, just as cute and soft as mei out there, unable to be held, was going to break him even further. seunggi turned a bit, arms lifting the bear like they were in the lion king, so ares could get a closer. "y'got to touch her, baby — she loves it."

“mhm, maybe if we beg we can see both of them.” was said with a soft laugh as his position changed just enough to fall to his ass with a soft thud. if he was going to be in the presence of such cuteness, he was going to be comfortable during. “jesus,” ares was actually going to melt with the way seunggi was holding her up, laughing again as his hand lifted to give those little ears a scratch. “look at her,” was cooed softly, expression going fond as her little tongue came out. “oh god, seunggi, look. she loves you.” or whatever her expression meant, that is. “i can’t get over it.” her, him, it. ares was reaching for the bottle to try his hand, to see if mei even wanted it when she could have all the pets in the world. “we’re going to have to come see here again.”

oh, seunggi could feel his whole body going warm with how ares was looking at the bear, his tone of voice — all of it. he'd give everything and more to see the other experience this kind of happiness every day, and he'd do everything to ensure that ares would be able to. he let out a small laugh, handing over the bottle with ease. one arm slipped under the bear's bum to let her back rest against his chest, while the other was too busy letting her hand play with his. "can we?" thailand wasn't that far, was it? it was far, sure, but not impossible. "god, she's probably going to get so big."

oh, god. ares was honestly melting in real time, and scrambling for his phone again as the bottle was put down. “smile, baby.” ares was cheesing hard as he brought the camera up so he could snap a picture of the way seunggi was holding mei. “yeah, we are definitely coming back to see her. we might not get to pet her again once she’s grown but seeing her. maybe she’ll have babies by then.” ares murmured as a hand lifted to grab her little foot. “look how sweet.” was cooed with a little wiggle of the foot in his hand, and then he was back to scratching her ears. “she’s going to be on my mind for weeks.” if not more.

of course seunggi's head lifted at that, smile wide as could be as he prepped mei for the picture, too (meaning, he scratched under her chin a few times in an attempt to make her smile, whatever that looked like). "mm, maybe we'll have some of our own, too," he murmured, hands now busy tapping along the bottom of mei's feet. apparently he needed to understand every part of a panda but, in his defense, he'd never seen one this close before. "would y'like that, mei? play date with the kiddos at your place?" he teased, speedy finger now poking a bit at her belly. "here, do you want to hold her? i want to get a picture of you, too."

this moment was only getting softer and warmer with every second. babies of their own? that had his stomach doing flips, honestly it did. he was so, so excited by the idea. it seemed like the more time that passed, the more they spoke about it? it seemed less distant and more concrete for them. a couple pictures were snapped, and the phone lowered slowly to watch. “maybe.” the smile that grew basically said it all — he couldn’t wait for their own baby. “we can bring, uh — bamboo, or something.” whatever pandas ate. did they eat other things? they were bears, after all. “of course i want to hold her.” he wasn’t trying to steal her away from seunggi, and would give her back obviously — but he wouldn’t object to a few good minutes. both hands were going for her as his phone landed on the floor, smile only growing as he got his hands on mei. “oh my god,” oh my god. he loved her already.

seunggi handed over the bear with ease, careful not to poke either mei or ares as he did so, grin growing wider and wider at the sight of his fiancé with the baby. "oh my god," seunggi mirrored, the words instinctual on their own because — someone truly was going to need a mop to clean him up. he was going to melt into the floor. "you two look so cute," he cooed in awe, hand blindly tapping for ares' phone, not wanting to peel his eyes away by any means. after a solid ten seconds of missing the device entirely, he took it in his hand and swiped to the camera, holding it up quickly. "smile for me, baby."

“she’s so —“ perfect, really. mei was precious and ares was pretty sure he was never going to want to leave her side. even if he did know that wasn’t possible, and that here soon they would be on their way anyway. still, that just meant more fun to come and more reason to enjoy their time here. “smile, mei.” was cooed softly as the bear was lifted a little, head turning to press gently against the bears head as his eyes landed on the camera. staying still was the goal here, though lord knows he wouldn’t last long before wanting to move around and experience the pandas full potential. “i just wanna squish her.” a quiet complaint of sorts as he offered a careful hug to the panda and then was lowering her to his lap, and letting go to see what she did. not much, really, she just sat like a little lump on a log. “i wonder if she has toys or anything — like a ball.”

"two cuties," seunggi mused, resisting the urge to pinch his fiancé's cheek between his fingers in order to snap not one, but a handful of pictures. it'd be a shame to not make the most of the moment while they were hanging out with her. ares' phone was offered up in return once he was done, mostly because he truly was finding himself physically incapable of looking away from mei for too long. "i just wanna nap with her. she'd be so good, like — right here," he thought out loud, patting his chest lightly. though, at the mention of toys, his head lifted to ask the same of the worker, hoping to receive one in good time. "can offer my head in the mean time. i'll gladly sacrifice my nose if it'll make her happy."

“aw, baby.” ares cooed softly as both hands went to mei’s sides again and he was lifting her up to offer to his fiancé. “she’d keep you so warm.” the bear was placed into seunggi’s lap and then ares was letting folded hands fall to rest in his own. “i don’t know, she looks a little out for the count right now. you could probably get a nap in. you have —“ he paused to look at his phone with a gentle tap of the screen. “almost thirty more minutes here. plenty of nap time.” ares would, one hundred percent, sit here and watch them with total fondness in his heart. “this wasn’t even apart of the original plan, we just got lucky.” he added with a laugh, eyes lifting from the panda to land on seunggi. “i’m so happy we get to experience this together.” on seunggi’s birthday, no less.

"are you sure? i'm sure she'd love to play with a ball. — can pandas play fetch?" even if they could, with the way mei stumbled to him in the first place, he wasn't quite sure if she was willing to run like usain bolt for them. still, he let his hands find mei's fur once more, scratching gently along her belly. and, well, at the mention of plan, seunggi couldn't help but let an eyebrow raise. "then what was apart of the original plan?" he supposed it could just be a trip to thailand was a pretty damn good gift in itself. he truly was more than happy with flying out to wander the country and let that be that. mei was just a fantastic little bonus that he'd keep tucked in his heart for years to come. "i am, too, baby. thank you for setting all of this up."

“i think if anything she’d just knock it around or something.” was murmured as he leaned back on his palms and kept his gaze locked on the cute pair. “oh, the original plan is still happening. i have a friend there that was able to make this happen here, though.” bless her, this was better than he could have ever expected it to be. which was crazy considering he had expected it to be amazing to begin with. “anything for you.” was said with nothing but love — that’s really all he had right now, a heart full of love. “you mean everything to me, i’d do anything to see you this happy.” was murmured with a softening of his smile. “even if it means we have to come see baby pandas once a year.” ares sighed and his tone was one that pointed to being burdened, as if spending a day with the love of his life and pandas wasn’t as close to heaven as it got.

"ah, is it?" huh. food for thought. he'd do his best to not get too curious about what ares was going to pull out of his sleeve, but now that the idea had been put in his head… well, he couldn't control everything. "can you thank her for me? i think i owe her an arm and leg for this, really." seunggi's gaze melted further in real time, his lips curling into an impossibly fond grin despite not moving much at all. the hand closest to ares lifted, searching for his own to hold. it was followed by a a slight lean in, clearly looking for a kiss, too, because the deep warmth in his chest was growing greedier and greedier by the second. "i love you so much. even when you pretend to find this inconvenient."

“you can thank her yourself, she’ll be there.” god, the urge to just spill the beans was growing. he wanted to watch seunggi light up at hearing what he had planned. but more than that ares wanted to see it in real time, so he’d be patient. “you’re making me feel so soft.” was murmured as he took the offered hand and leaned in for his kiss, smile still present with a soft huff of a laugh. “i’m glad you do.” ares was pressing in for another, though the sound of a small ball rolling their way stole his attention. which, considering the ticking time, had him lifting his phone towards the worker with a small smile as he asked for a picture of the three of them. “if she falls asleep on you i think you’re stuck here the rest of the day.” ares murmured as he scooted closer, fingers intertwining with seunggi’s to bring to his own lap. “i’m framing every single one of these pictures. mei’s gonna be all over the place.”

"oh, good. i hope she's prepared to be thanked a million times over." he wanted to tease and press on where, exactly, there was, but he'd do his best to refrain, even if it was almost on the verge of making his eye twitch. "good. only fair that we're on the same page." his lips pulled into a more obvious smile until his eyes were flickering towards the ball. "mm, i might just fall asleep with her. a little power nap never hurt anyone," he tossed right back, letting his hand fall into ares' lap before a finger stroked along ares' knuckle. "should give her her own little wall." he hummed in agreement, though, after a moment: "you should paint her, maybe. i think that'd be nice, if you're up for it."painting was one thing — a thing ares was very, very good at, in seungg's opinion — but painting on a wall? that certainly was asking a lot of him. nonetheless, seunggi's grin remained natural and unmoving as his head tilted towards the camera in the worker's hands, leaning a little bit further against ares as he did so.

“you can use my lap as a pillow, i’ll even play with your hair.” ares would die inside from such a cute moment, but that was a mighty good way to go. “you’ll help?” ares glanced to the panda in question as if already commuting her to memory for the painting. “could be fun to do together.” ares brought their hands up to kiss the back of seunggi’s but only after the worker was handing his phone back. “we can add her babies when and if she has any.” and maybe their own kids could help — a never ending cycle, one ares would be happy to be apart of. “you’re going to be such a great dad, you’re a natural.” not that a baby panda really equates to a human baby — but, well. the idea was there and ares couldn’t stop thinking about it.

"of course i will," seunggi hummed, eyes glued to ares' features even as he looked away. seunggi wasn't particularly gifted when it came to art — he'd never really had enough practice to make anything that was worth something to him. but he could hold a brush and paint a straight line, so he could definitely assist. "ah, we definitely should. they'll be apart of the family, it's what they deserve." seunggi's hand slipped free from his fiancé's to card through the hair on the back of his head before he pressed in to press a kiss to his cheek. at the comment, seunggi's eyes lifted quickly — a fact he was most definitely embarrassed about. "you know, that means a lot to me. especially coming from you." really, he didn't think anyone else saying it would be able to hold a flame to ares saying so. "i can say the same thing for you. your eyes — you're so loving. feel like you've been pummeling me left and right every time you look at her," he snorted, scooting and turning away so he could actually lay his head in ares' lap.

as seunggi spoke, as he moved to get comfortable, ares felt that familiar feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. the love he had for seunggi grew and grew daily, it was almost as if he couldn’t contain it anymore. not that he saw it as a problem. an over abundance of love was a good problem to have. “if we can love her this much in thirty minutes just … imagine. i’m excited to see it first hand. not rushing it — just happy to know it’s in our future.” ares was already dragging his hand through seunggi’s hair as he looked down over them, smiling softly as he watched mei make herself comfortable on seunggi’s middle. “she sees it too. it’s like she knows she’s safe with you.” safe enough to doze off, which had his heart swelling again.

seunggi’s smile softened as ares spoke, features growing more and more relaxed with every pass of his fiancé’s hand in his hair. soon enough his eyes fell closed, too, frame slowly melting into the floor as his head did with ares’ lap. the hand not rubbing gently along mei’s back lifted to search for ares’ free one, intent on holding it as he drifted off. surely, his mind was filled with thoughts about how seunggi feeling safe enough to doze off here, with ares, must’ve meant something, too — but his comfort level with the little ball of warmth on his chest grew to an all time high, leaving him to fall asleep with a ghost of a hum on his lips.

(ending it here ajskdlfasjdfkasjfkskadf but they would have went and washed/played w adult elephants next <3)

[fqjth]

💡chris showering his baby mama how much he 😏appreciates😏 her after a tough couple of days with his baby boy 💡

much needed relief

pairing ➵ chris evans x reader

summary ➵ chris shows his wife how much he appreciates her after a rough few weeks with their newborn

warnings ➵ smut, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration (p in v)

words ➵ 1488

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It was the first night the two had spent alone in what felt like forever. The house was quiet, the only noise coming from the television, something that neither of them was fully paying attention to. They were exhausted, and the absence of loud crying was calming to them.

Adjusting to being new parents had found itself difficult, especially with Chris working all the time and leaving most of the responsibility to Y/N. At first, she didn't mind it. She knew that Chris' job was demanding and called for him to be gone for weeks at a time. However, the last few day's had been more challenging than previously.

He wouldn’t stop crying, no matter what they did, he wouldn’t stop. At first, they thought he was unwell, but once they went to the doctors for a check-up they found that wasn’t the case. He was healthy, as per the doctor's words. As a suggestion, the doctor said it might be an unbalanced routine. With Chris coming and going, he has not had the chance to adjust to a normal schedule. So, that’s what they were trying to implement, a normal schedule.

However, of course, when things just started to settle down, Chris had to go away for a few days for work, leaving Y/N alone again. She was tired, and the lack of sleep was driving her closer to insanity.

When Chris got back, he came home to Y/N on the verge of tears rocking the baby back and forth to try and calm him down. Chris took the reigns immediately, taking him into his arms so Y/N could relax, even if it were just for a moment.

It was the same back and forth for the last few days, Y/N and Chris trading places every so often to calm down their son. And it wasn’t until Chris’ parents offered to babysit for the night that the two had some peace and quiet.

They sat on the couch, watching some mind-numbing television. Chris had his arm draped over Y/N’s shoulders, allowing her to rest comfortably against his chest. His fingertips gently rubbed against the side of her arm, relaxing her completely.

“I love you” Chris whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Y/N’s temple. She looked up at him, a smile painted on her lips.

“What was that for?” She asked, her smile being heard while she spoke.

Chris smiled back down at her, mirroring her expression. “Can I not say ‘I love you’ to my wife without their being a reason?”

Y/N shook her head, laughing slightly as propped herself up on the couch so she was looking at Chris from a better position. “No, I’m just saying it’s been a while since you’ve just said it. Just took me by surprise, that’s all” she leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips, soft and quick.

It was true, neither had said they loved each other in ages. Not for anything reason other than being too caught up in the craziness of their lives. They knew they did, love each other, it was unspoken between them but it was still nice to hear.

“I love you too” Y/N hummed against his lips before Chris pulled her back in, his hands resting firmly against her hips as he deepened their kiss.

Their lips melded together, moving against one another in passion and lust. In one swift motion, Chris had pulled Y/N onto his lap. This had been the most they had touched each other outside of quick kisses and brief embraces. It was a much-needed release, as if all the tension from the past few weeks was leading to this moment.

Chris' hands still gripped against Y/N's hip, pulled her against him. She bucked her hips, causing friction to build between them. Chris chuckled as his lips moved to her neck. "So needy already, haven't done anything yet" he nipped away at her sweet spot, Y/N tipping her head back as a small sigh left her at the sensation.

"Just," she breathed, "missed this. Missed you". Another sigh left her lips as Chris continued to bite and kiss at her neck, his hands moving upwards and under her shirt, grazing her skin with his fingers. He placed one hand on the small of her back, pushing her forwards, so her chest pressed against his.

His lips found hers again, wasting no time before slipping his tongue into her mouth, fighting hers for dominance. Y/N's hands rested on either side of Chris' face, deepening their kiss as she pulled him closer.

As if she weighed nothing, Chris stood up from his seat on the couch, carrying Y/N as his hands rested firmly against her ass, not breaking their kiss once. He walked them to the bedroom, managing to open the door without dropping Y/N.

He laid her down on the bed slowly. The action allowed her head to rest softly against the pillow. "Chris" She hummed as his lips reattached themselves to her neck, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses along her collarbone. "Need you to touch me".

"Anything you ask for, sweetheart" he hovered over her lips before placing another kiss upon them. Slowly he moved down her body, stopping when his face rested perfectly between her thighs.

The material of her skirt was bunched around her waist, exposing her underwear. Chris ran two fingers up her slit through her panties, pooling her wetness along the fabric. "Gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart" Chris spoke, hooking his fingers under the lining of her underwear before pulling them down. "Gonna show you how much I appreciate everything you do for us"

His mouth met her core as his tongue ran circles upon her clit, Y/N throwing her head back against the pillow. His eye's locked on her as he watched her face contort in pleasure. He slipped two of his fingers into her entrance, a quiet moaning escaping her as he did. Her hands fell into his hair, tugging gently against his brown locks.

"Fuck, Chris" she gasped as Chris picked up his pace, pumping his fingers as he devoured her sweetness with hunger. "Feel's so good" her words of approval caused Chris to hum against her, the vibration sending a shockwave down her body.

He continued his motions, feeling Y/N get closer to her high as she began to tighten around his digits. Her back arched, a string of curse words leaving her lips as her body was overcome with pleasure. She sighed as Chris removed himself, licking his lips as to savour her juices.

"You always taste so sweet, baby" He whispered, tugging at his sweatpants as he pulled them down. His erection sprung free against his naval, precum dripping from the tip. "Can't wait to feel you around my cock"

He hovered over her again, kissing her deeply as he lined himself up at her entrance, slipping in with ease. Y/N sighed at the sudden stretch, a burning feel absorbing her as Chris began to buck his hips into hers.

Hands roamed her body, gripping her thighs as he pushed it towards her chest, the new angle allowing him to hit the deepest spot inside her. She moaned out his name, arms wrapping around his torso as she clawed at his back, surely leaving marks.

"Feel good, baby?" Chris asked, whispering against her ear. Y/N nodded her head, unable to form any words as her second wave of pleasure crept up on her.

She was still sensitive from her previous orgasm, making every thrust Chris was performing a mixture of pain and pleasure. The feeling intensified as he began leaving tight circles upon her already swollen clit.

"Chris" she moaned, body shaking as her walls began to tighten around his shaft. "I'm gonna..."

"I know, sweetheart" Chris placed a kiss on her cheek, his hand caressing her hair as his eyes locked with hers. "It's okay, I wanna feel you cum around me"

His words sent her over the edge, her second orgasm rushing over her. Her walls pulsated around his cock, warm and wet as his pace slowed. It wasn't long until Chris himself came undone, pooling inside Y/N, finishing with a moan of her name.

They waited a moment, holding each other before Chris removed himself. Y/N sighed at the sudden emptiness. He laid next to her, wrapping his arm around her as he pulled her closer.

"I love you" she hummed, whispering as her eyes began to flutter shut. Exhaustion had replaced feelings of euphoria in a matter of seconds, weeks of sleepless nights finally catch up on her.

Chris pressed a kiss to her temple, squeezing her gently. "I love you too, more than anything" he smiled, feeling himself drift off to sleep.

They savoured this moment of intimacy, knowing these simple pleasures were fleeting. They treasured them more than anything, holding each other as they drifted off to sleep.

✾ ✾ ✾

submission box ➵ here

authors note ➵ this was honestly a bit shit, so i apologise for that

i love this man though, everything chris evans does is a turn on.

[a-shy-blueberry]

Missed Calls

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x GN! Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder, so why is yours going cold?

Warnings: Allusions to severe injury, allusions to depression, angst, aged up characters

Word Count: 1k

Your call rang out again, he sat there counting the times till the call finally disconnected, the automated voice greeting you again. The beep came and your voice echoed through the apartment

“Katsuki, it’s Y/n again… I know you’re probably busy, I just. I just wanted to see you.”

“I miss you ‘Suki, please call me back,” you finished. Your voice was closer to cracking this time, trying so hard to keep it together as you were met with the vacuum of silence around him.

“Good,” he thought. The sooner you got the message the better, no point in prolonging your hope. Better things ended now. You’d be better. Find someone that could match you, the bright light you always brought into his life. Someone that was whole. Someone that wasn’t a failure. Someone that wasn’t so angry. Someone that could love you.

Your phone buzzed and you leaped across the room, fumbling to open the lock screen only to be greeted with a promotional text.

You felt the tears slip down your face.

You were acting crazy, this was insane. You knew he was busy, he told you as much, but you couldn’t help this feeling that he was slipping away. You looked up, willing the tears back into your eyes as if that could help the ever sinking feeling growing in your heart.

Where had things gone so wrong?

It’d been weeks since you had seen him work drawing him in for more shifts, constantly an excuse every time you checked in with him.

How could you blame him though? He loved his job, he was born to be a hero and you never wanted to come between that.

But weeks went by, after five you finally snapped, two days gone by without so much as a text, a callous voicemail left in his answering box.

It wasn’t until a day later that Kirishima told you about the accident.

You were such an asshole.

Demanding his attention as if you mattered as much as the hundreds of lives he saved.

You rushed to his apartment, refused entry again. Him telling you to go away, that he was fine through his door. That was the first time your heart broke.

Katuski couldn’t get out of bed anymore.

His limbs felt like they were full of lead.

So fucking useless.

He wanted to kick and scream out of frustration.

Why couldn’t he get up?

The phone rang but he made no movement. His body immersed in the quicksand of his covers. Couldn’t you see how much he was struggling?

Your voice came through the apartment. You had been crying, he knew the instant he heard you. The choked sound clenched his heart.

You were crying because of him.

Or were you crying over him?

The whispers in his head grew cruel. You’d leave him the second you walked through that door. He should end things, you deserved that much. He wasn’t whole anymore, the ache in his chest all-consuming.

Would you even recognize him? The shell left behind?

He struggled again. He should call you. He rolled over. His phone in hand, staring at the background picture of you. The radiant look on your face, he didn’t deserve you. If he’d call he’d feel better, he knew that. But what if it didn’t work? What all it did was cause you pain? All he’d do is bring you down with him.

He closed the phone, dropping it back on the nightstand, ignoring the way it buzzed when you called him.

A month went by this time, texts intermittent, calls nonexistent and Katsuki still ignoring your requests to visit, you knew you should drop it, let him be, let him heal but you just couldn’t. Promising yourself each week at this would be the one, he’d text you first.

The all-clear from the doctor came and went.

You shaved your legs, picking out a few new sets of lingerie, only to leave them abandoned in your closet.

You tried asking him again, this time he didn’t even acknowledge it.

Your anniversary was a week away, and you’d feared you’d given up, telling yourself every day not to expect anything. You picked up something small for him, maybe the sting would hurt less that way.

You dropped it off in his mailbox the day after.

Katsuki had been drafting this text for days, the apology you deserved. The explanation, you needed. Over and over he watched the cursor move right, then scale left as he backspaced.

Delete

Delete

All he needed was to tell you how he felt, how much he loved you. He loved you so much, he just, he couldn’t see you right now.

Fear was gripping in his heart.

He could feel it snaking through his ribs, a cold shiver running down him.

Would you even accept that?

Delete

Delete.

He’d get better first, explain himself in person, give you everything you wanted.

He’d get better first.

“Katsukii, it’s y/n… this is the last time I’m gonna call.”

“Look I don’t know where things went wrong but I can’t do this anymore, I’m miserable.”

“I love you Katsuki but it’s like loving a ghost… fuck, I just feel so empty now.”

“I just can’t keep living like this.”

“Goodbye Bakugou.”

The beep that followed was deafening, ringing against every wall. Hot tears burned against Katsukii’s face, his lungs burned, trying to force air through them but none would come. His fingers folded into fists, hitting the bed underneath him. He wanted to scream. To fight.

But how could he fight when he already lost

His phone buzzed and he snapped up, grabbing at it to see. Maybe you changed your mind, surely you wouldn’t end things over a voicemail, you loved him. He checked the notification, nothing but an email. The phone clattered to the floor.

You were gone.

He was supposed to get better first.

He was supposed to still have time.

Where did things go so wrong?

Do not copy or repost my works, or share on other platforms. All Characters are aged up, at least to their 20s. All characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi.