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#going back for my flu shot when its october so i can try and time it as close as possible to the peak lol
lanomin · 6 days
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wooo I got my covid booster 🎉🎉! Got novavax again, the results coming out from journals are really encouraging and I really liked not being super sick for the next day. Please be smart and sexy and get boosted and mask up yall, we're all in this together
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cakesexuality · 1 year
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8 months Lupron, 1 month add-back
I've discovered that I'm now slowly growing a very small amount of dark facial hair that isn't super visible but I'm p sure it wasn't there before, and I mean if you're hoping to do testosterone later on or if you're using testosterone as your add-back then this is probably a desirable effect for you, but I'm using estrogen and progesterone as my add-back for a reason lol
(I didn't know this was something that could happen!! Bc it turns out that it's not about your testosterone on its own but your testosterone in proportion to your estrogen and my testosterone has hardly budged while my estrogen has gone way down, and I'm still working on how I feel about this but it might be helpful info for someone else)
I don't think my body shape has changed at all, since I feel like my fat has redistributed since starting Lupron, and I know for a fact that my bra size hasn't changed either, but it can take a few months to begin to see those sorts of changes with estrogen
Progesterone helps with my digestive issues but the two days on, two days off with Jencycla is causing some :^) flip-flopping of symptoms and I need to talk to my gynecologist about that, like if I could do every-other day to help even it out, although this is preferable to when I was on Depo and it would wear off after a couple months and things would get worse for weeks on end instead of only for like... half a day
Ever since my 2nd shot (my 1st 3-month shot that I got in October), my site (left arm) keeps getting a lil bit sore on and off when it shouldn't be even though that's never happened to me with stuff like Depo-Provera and flu shots and even my COVID shots stopped hurting after the first few days, and I had pain go down my arm when she did my most recent injection (April) which also has never happened to me before when getting any sort of injection, but I have muscle and nerve issues in my arms due to scoliosis so I think I'm gonna ask if we can try a different site like my thigh next time (July) so we can see if it's actually from the Lupron or if it's only from my shoulders being fucked up (or even if my body is just angry at me for always using the same site!!)
(I think I had mentioned that my arm kept getting sore in a previous update?? But I'd been spending a lot of time at a friend's house around that time where the way I sit on his couch puts weird pressure on my site so I thought it was from me being stupid and sitting wrong, but I haven't been to his house in a few months now and it still happens so it's probably not actually that)
I said last time that we weren't sure if I would transition to doing my shots at home bc I don't have the pain that I did when my Depo would wear off, but bc I've been having to go to so many appointments for other things, doing my shots at home might help take stuff off my plate
I still haven't had a consult with the anesthesiologist to talk about laparoscopy bc I haven't heard from anyone, I don't know who the doctor is so I can't reach out directly, and I called my gynecologist's office last week to ask if they knew what was up with the referral so I could maybe get my consult booked, since my gynecologist was hoping to have the surgery done before my next injection, but the receptionist doesn't know who the anesthesiologist is either, so she was gonna talk to the gynecologist and get back to me
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jinmukangwrites · 3 years
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Whumptober 2021 - October 7th - Blindness
Gift fic for @sassydefendorflower
Fandom: Nightwing, Batman - All Media Types
AO3
Warnings: Head Injury, slight descriptions of blood
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Slade dodges under the swinging blow of Blüdhaven’s newest sewer monster; born from whatever chemicals a rat has gotten into near some chemist-based super-villain’s old hideout. Now, while it’s not everyday Slade goes out of his way to take down various monsters across the ‘Haven, this time… he feels a little obligated to.
Yes, he is the reigning champion of being Nightwing’s least favorite and most powerful villain, but unfortunately Nightwing is Slade’s favorite and most interesting opponent. He came to the ‘Haven to give the kid a head’s up that he has a mark in the city; a regular challenge he likes to set for the kid to try and stop him. However, when he didn’t find Nightwing along any of his normal routes, nor in his apartment, he turned to the news to see if the kid had left for Gotham or some other city without him noticing; preparing to postpone this mark until he was back in his patron city and away from other bats.
It was then he noticed the breaking news that a giant, sewage themed rat was wreaking havoc under Blüdhaven’s streets in the downtown areas, near a major subway platform. Nightwing was spotted going in, telling people to stay out, and he hasn’t been seen since.
Of course, Slade went to the fight, and it’s a good thing he did. When he got there, he found Nightwing limp in the creature’s tail, held inches from it’s long and jagged front teeth. Blood trailed down the side of his skull in a steady flow. Slade knew immediately he was unconscious.
He took out one of his pistols and shot at the rat, but the monster was so large and feral it hardly did anything when it went into its arm. It dropped Nightwing like a sack of flour onto the ground, snarling as it turned to it’s newest threat, drool dripping down it’s snout. Slade pulled out his swords and faced it head on.
The creature, while lacking any intelligence, was fast and powerful. Even Slade had trouble ducking under its tail that it used like a club and avoiding its powerful legs and jaw. While it’s disappointing to see Nightwing taken down by a creature as low as this, he can’t exactly blame the kid when it takes himself several minutes to finally get his sword through the thing’s tail. He cuts off the appendage, then while the monster screeches in agony, he pierces its throat.
It goes down twitching and gurgling, its blood bubbling down into the sewer's already questionable streams of water. He whips his swords out, getting off a majority of the wretched blood, then heads over to his unconscious person of interest.
Nightwing doesn’t move as he kneels down beside him, in fact he’s still in the rather undignified position he had been dropped in. Frowning, Slade moves Nightwing into a better position that won't strain his spine and smacks his face lightly to wake him up. He doesn’t even twitch, causing Slade to frown more. His head is still bleeding, which is worrisome. He grabs a tube of smelling-salts from his pouch—usually used to wake up people he’s previously knocked out to get some information out of them—and firmly places it under Nightwing’s nose. A solid few seconds pass before Nightwing’s eyes shoot open under his domino mask; his hands fly out to his face to stifle coughs and he rocks forward so he’s sitting instead of laying down.
Slade doesn’t try to make conversation quite yet, more worried about that head injury. He holds Nightwing by the jaw to tilt his head and get a better look, but Nightwing reacts like the touch was electrified. He smacks Slade’s arms away and jumps to his feet, stumbling back and holding out a single escrima. Slade doesn’t know where the other one went.
“Sit back down,” Slade growls, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
Nightwing flinches at the initial sound of his voice, his mouth dropping open in shock before lowering his single weapon slightly.
“Slade?” he asks, his voice slurred.
Slade resists sighing, and lifts his eyebrow. Who else would it be? It’s not that dark here, even with Slade’s heightened senses. Nightwing doesn’t relax completely though, as if waiting for an answer. Not for the first time that night, another spike of worry rises in his chest.
“Kid, sit down or I’ll make you sit down.”
Nightwing almost goes boneless after that, breathing a single ”thank fuck” before sinking to his ass and putting his head in his hands with a groan.
Now Slade does sigh, even rolling his eyes as he does so, as he once again approaches Nightwing and grabs onto his face to look at the wound. Nightwing hisses and flinches out of his grasp.
“Don’t,” he says, “I already know how bad it is.”
Slade hums, folding his arms across his chest. “How bad is it then?”
Nightwing remains quiet for a moment, biting his lip, perhaps internally fighting with himself on whether or not it’s a good idea to tell one of his biggest enemies about how injured he is. Eventually, Nightwing makes the smart choice and speaks anyway, knowing Slade will find no pleasure in ending him if he's already down.
“Head feels like a war-drum. Feel like ‘m gonna throw up. Voice slurred… ears ringing… I-” Nightwing hesitates. Then sighs. “I can’t see.”
“You can’t see?” Slade repeats, kneeling down to once again take Nightwing’s face in his hands. Nightwing fights the grasp, but this time Slade holds strong and takes off the mask, revealing unfocused electric-blues.
“Nothing, it’s all black,” Nightwing whispers, a slight wobble in his voice that Slade is sure he’s trying to keep down.
He grabs a small flashlight from his tools and shines it in Nightwing’s eyes, frowning as there’s hardly any reaction in the pupils. He clicks off the light and releases Nightwing, thinking of options.
He’s sure the last thing the kid’ll want is to get dumped at the hospital, but Slade’s no medical expert, especially with something as fragile as a normal human’s brain.
He sighs, as only one option realistically reveals itself. The last thing Slade wants to do is risk Nightwing going home all on his own and possibly making this blindness permanent when there could be something that can be done to help him. Nightwing is a competent, talented young man, which is why he’s so intriguing to Slade—and while he has all the faith that Nightwing will find a way to fight even if his sight is forever gone, Slade also knows the loss of sense will be a major blow to the kid’s moral for months to come. He’s seen how far Nightwing can fall with helplessness and depression plaguing him, and honestly the thrill of fighting him leaves when his fire is replaced with a desperateness to prove to himself that he’s still worth something. He needs Nightwing to have a steady support system, and help for this injury.
Nightwing is going to hate him for a while after this, but Slade has no choice. He doesn’t fight against Nightwing to kill him, but because those fights are the only thing that brings a fun challenge. For how human Nightwing is, he fights like a beast, and Slade can’t lose that.
“Up,” he says while returning the kid’s mask; he grabs Nightwing by the arm and lifts him to his feet. Nightwing groans, but doesn’t fight too badly as Slade firmly wraps his arm around Slade’s shoulders. “Where is the best place to exit this place without being spotted?”
Nightwing, with the complexion of the inside of an avocado, talks him through on where to go. He looks one small fit of nausea away from throwing up all over Slade’s armor.
Luckily, he keeps it in his stomach—perhaps the discomfort in his body being something more desirable to deal with than a vomit covered Slade—and by the time they make it out of a small, boarded up and abandoned, exit to the subway line, Slade lets the kid take a break by the nearest dumpster. Nightwing, the poor thing, must have lost everything he’s eaten today in those fifteen minutes.
Now that he’s out below Blüdhaven’s night sky, he’s now the one in charge of leading the way. Nightwing stumbles along blindly—hah—never letting go of his weak grasp around Slade’s neck and shoulders.
Finally, they make it to where Slade has parked the car he had taken into the city. The windows are all tinted to near-illegal levels, but Slade still stuffs Nighting in the back-seats and hands him a bucket he had in the trunk that previously held a few hundred bullets from when he bought them in bulk.
“Throw up on the seats and I’m making you buy me a new car.”
“Bet this one was stolen anyway,” Nightwing mumbles, curled up in the backseats with the bucket touching his stomach like a flu-ridden child.
Slade scoffs and closes the door after reminding him to keep his head down but to stay awake. He takes off his Deathstroke mask, then the top bits of his armor, and shoves them in the truck. Then, after he gets in the driver's seat, they’re off.
Getting out of downtown Blüdhaven should be the hardest part of all of this; both for Slade’s navigation skills and for Nightwing’s gag-reflex. Eventually, however, they make it out of the twists and turns of downtown and eventually make it onto the main roads of the city—still crowded with cars coming too and from various ass-awful shifts of work. Nightwing remains quite agreeable in the backseats, responding that he’s awake every time Slade calls for a status report (about every five-ten minutes), and groaning at every turn no matter how slow Slade takes them.
However, that agreeableness quickly leaves the boy when Slade enters the on-ramp connecting to the north-south interstate.
Kid almost makes himself throw up by how quickly he scrambles to a sitting position; ignoring Slade's commands to lay back down.
“Turn around,” Nightwing growls. And it’s a strong growl too, reminds Slade of a chihuahua. Shaking and all.
“You’re currently blind, you have no idea where-”
“I know the roads of my city, Slade. And you’re leaving it.”
Slade sighs and merges into traffic, then uses one hand to shove Nightwing back town onto the seats. “Keep down, a cop will see you.”
“Where are you taking me?”
Slade remains silent.
“Tell me it’s a secret mansion somewhere and you have your own personal doctor that can help. Or you know a guy that happens to be down south. Or-”
“I’m taking you to Gotham,” Slade says, ripping off the band-aid.
Nightwing looks all sorts of emotions in the span of a few seconds. The one he settles on, however, is anger.
“No.”
“Batman gets injured all the time,” Slade begins to explain, but Nightwing looks frantic now.
“No, don’t take me back- I’ve worked so hard to get him to see that I can do things without him- and he has a new kid now and-”
“Suck it up,” Slade growls. “Deal with it. I’m not like you, kid. I don’t know how to take care of a normal human, and I definitely don’t know anyone who can because I have no need to. What you need is a doctor that can treat you off the record, who knows about your nightlife. Batman has that, doesn’t he.”
It’s not a question, but Nightwing’s silence is still an answer.
“Whatever your old man thinks of you for coming back injured doesn’t matter in the end. Nor does the new kid. What you should worry more about is what I think of you after this. You’re not fighting Batman, you’re fighting me.”
“What if he doesn’t let me fight after this?” Nightwing… Dick whispers as he finally lays back down on the seats. He’s taken his mask off and is rubbing his eyes, perhaps quelling tears or a headache. Perhaps both. “What if my sight doesn’t come back? What if he retires me?”
Slade remains silent for a second, then answers as firmly as he can. “I’ve known plenty of formidable enemies who are missing a sense. You’ll find a way to get back up, and if he doesn’t let you then I’ll just have to break in, kidnap you, and train you myself.”
That startles a laugh out of Dick. “I thought you were no longer trying to get me to be your apprentice.”
Slade shrugs, allowing a smile on his lips, selfishly comforted that Dick couldn’t see it. “You have a lot of potential, kid, I’d rather you use it against me than not at all. I’ll train you and release you like the bird you are, and we can get back to the same ol’ dance we have.”
Dick takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah… okay. I’ll hold you to that.”
-o-o-o-o-
Slade parks the car in an old neighborhood in Gotham that has a considerable drop in crime compared to the rest of the city. All things considered. Though, the sun is beginning to rise and Slade’s positive the Bat knew he was in his city the second he drove into it. Dick knows this too, as he’s telling Slade to hurry up and get out of here despite the boy still looking green around the gills. Slade grabs his mask and armor, then turns to the stolen car he’s about to abandon and opens the back door near Dick’s face.
Suddenly, and rather embarrassingly, he doesn’t know what to say. Thankfully, Dick is a freaky empath sometimes and gives an exhausted smile.
“Don’t worry,” he says, “I’ll get through this.”
“Good,” Slade replies. “I won't let you quit.”
His grin widens. “Never.”
Then Slade closes the door and takes off quickly, only pausing on a distant roof to watch a large black figure and a smaller red-and-yellow clad child approach the car and catch sight of the injured bird inside.
From there, Slade turns and leaves, not looking back.
He’ll see Nightwing on the battlefield again. No matter what, Slade will make sure of it.
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loversamongus · 4 years
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Friends, Fevers, Family Movies
a/n: first one shot for @fromthewatertribe‘s 1k follower event! This turned out to be A LOT longer than I expected and it was also originally for a whole other prompt??? And then just??? Evolved into this??? I knew I wanted to write something that featured a Sokka friendship (and a Katara one!) but also feature good ol’ Zuko fluff. So here ya go. Word vomit. TO CELEBRATE NINA BEING AWESOME.
Also important: written as a world without covid, but does mention the flu. prompt: go to bed, you idiot.
words: 2k
relationship: Zuko x reader
Sharing an apartment with your best friends has its highs and lows. On the bright side, you truly lucked out between the epic prank wars, overly competitive game nights, and the bureaucratic division of chore responsibilities. However, there’s also the constant paranoia that someone can jump out of your closet in a gorilla costume, the frustrated search for the last blue Sorry piece after a certain sore loser flipped over the coffee table, and Katara’s insistence on hand washing all dishware even though the kitchen has a perfectly good dishwasher. The three of you never experience a dull moment.
And you’re so grateful to be living with them. Sokka and Katara are your best friends but now it’s like having a brother and sister of your own. Due to the smaller size of the apartment, you and Katara share a bedroom but neither of you would have it any other way. Though you both have your own corner of the room, you’ll spend hours laying on the gray shag rug in the middle between your beds just talking.
“Today, at the diner, a man had the AUDACITY to call me ‘pretty girl’ and like, yes I am pretty but I don’t need an old coffee-breathed, wrinkly limp noodle to tell me that so I assumed he was just stating the obvious and that I should also call him by obvious nicknames in order to better communicate with and understand the customer, as my manager puts it.”
“And what did you call him?”
“When I came back with their food, he said, ‘Can the pretty girl also get us some mayonnaise packets?’ And I said, ‘Not a problem, ‘crusty man.’”
Katara tried her darnedest to flash you a severe look but couldn’t help choking on a fit of giggles.
“Suki approves of it and we spent the rest of our shift calling each other different names when we crossed paths!”
The rest of the night would linger on with more work day stories, giggles, and Sokka occasionally pounding on the door for you both to shut up already because he is trying to sleep goddamnnit and can’t do that while the apartment is filled with your shrill girlish squeals.
Finally, when you both struggle to fight off sleep, you wave the white flag and drag yourself into bed. But just before you drift off, you hear Katara whisper your name from across the room. You’re not even sure if she’s awake, you’re both so tired, but you answer anyways.
“Hmm?”
“What do you think of Aang?”
“He adores you (yawn) it’s so sweet. I like him for you.”
There’s a silence and you think you’re free to finally fall into your dreams until Katara speaks again.
“What do you think of Zuko?”
“Hmm? I dunno, he’s our (yawn) friend and I like when he brings over (yawn) fireball for game night (yawn) why?”
Your exhaustion overpowers you before you could hear Katara respond, “Because he adores you, it’s so sweet. I like him for you.”
Although also your best friend, living with Sokka feels much less sweet and much more chaotic. Somehow you’re at each other’s throats more so than he is with his own blood related sister. It may have started when the Sock Battle started, a game in which Sokka made it his mission to hide his stenchiest pair of socks somewhere in your stuff. By now, you’ve found his socks in your pillowcases, in textbooks, in your gym bag, and in a picture frame next to your bed. You deliberately retaliate in any way you can during game night. While these instances often have you second guessing your friendship with him, you and Sokka could both put the bickering aside with a Disney movie and a bucket of buttered popcorn.
You could have killed him though when he gave you the flu. Katara was spared thanks to her daily regimen of vitamins and obsession with cleanliness, and Sokka had even recovered rather quickly. But you were not as lucky. Even though it was only the beginning of October, you had Katara dig out your flannel holiday pajamas to warm you up from the chills. The darling that she is, Katara made you her famous homemade soup and set it by your bedside table before heading out to see Aang. In the meantime, it was time for payback.
“Sokka, I need you to refill my water bottle.”
“Do it yourself.”
“Fine and when I get over to the kitchen I’ll lick every bag of beef jerky you own.”
“Oh my god, fine. Give me your water bottle.”
“Sokka, I need to charge my phone. Give me your charger.”
“No? Yours in your room, go get it.”
“If only my legs weren’t so weak from this terrible flu I’ve contracted from someone I trusted to be more hygienic.”
“Here, take it.”
“Sokka, you need to light a candle in the bathroom. Ooh do the rose petal one.”
“Ugh, no. You know I hate yours and Katara’s girly scented candles.”
“Okay, but then don’t complain about the smell when you go in.”
“It can’t be that bad— OH MY GOD DID SOMETHING CRAWL OUT OF YOU AND DIE?! OH MY GOD IT’S TRAVELLING. IT’S TRAVELLING THROUGH THE APARTMENT.”
By the fourth day of having the flu, Sokka was sick. Not of the flu. Of you. Katara had been spending as much time with Aang as she could to avoid catching anything from you so the responsibility of taking care of you fell on Sokka. And he was finally reaching the breaking point after you left used tissues all over “his side” of the couch. You snuggled into your pile of blankets as you watched your best friend grumble about the living room, every so often glancing at you while muttering incoherently.
After picking up the last of your snot filled, flu infected tissues, Sokka stood in front of you and took a long, exaggerated breath.
“I am leaving this Land of Disgusting to eat at the diner before driving Suki home.”
“Sokka, you had me at ‘I am leaving.’”
“Shut up. You still have a fever so I’ve called in reinforcements to look after you while Katara and I are both out. They’ll be here shortly after I’m gone. Can you handle yourself for 10 minutes?”
“Aye aye, captain.”
Before leaving, Sokka grabbed one more blanket from your room to bring to you on the couch. You realize how lucky you are to be such a pain in the ass and still be so loved by your little family. These happy thoughts, along with the utter amusement over the possibility of Toph being the one taking care of you, lulled you into a short, soft nap.
When you open your eyes next, the living room is dark, save for the small lamp in the corner of the room. As you go to stretch out your legs on the couch, your feet kick into something that wasn’t there before.
“Sokka?” you ask wearily, assuming your friend is back from dropping Suki off home.
“Nope.”
It wasn’t Sokka’s voice. Nor was it Toph’s. Trying your best to sit up under the weight of five blankets, you turn your head to see Zuko’s face illuminated by his phone’s screen as his thumb continued to scroll.
“Oh. Hi.”
He looked over at you. “Hey. Can I get you anything?”
It takes you a moment to get over the fact that Zuko is the reinforcements, the one called to take care of you while your roommates are out of the apartment. But finally you respond, “Actually, my throat is really dry. Can you grab my water bottle for me?”
He reached over to the coffee table to grab your water bottle for you. Then, after handing it you, Zuko went back to looking at his phone.
“Katara says you have to take your medicine once you’ve woken up.”
“Ugh noooooo. I don’t want to.”
Taking pills has never been your been your strong suit. Maybe it’s your irrational fear of choking on them or just your innate ability to be stubborn about everything but you try to put up your best fight.
“You have to. Or else we’ll have to cancel another game night or you just won’t be able to play with us. And then who would kill Sokka first in Among Us.”
“You’ll have to continue my legacy, that’s all.”
“Just take the pills. I already cut them up for you.”
“Fine... thank you.”
After you swallow the last pill, you lay back down on the couch but Zuko gets up.
“Where are you going?”
“Since you’re up now, let’s watch a movie. There’s nothing else you should really be doing in your condition.”
“I have my DVDs on my shelf in my room. Pick me a Disney movie?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Oh my god, please? I am very sick and frail and only the nostalgic joys of my childhood can cure me.”
“....fine.”
You muster up a squeal that quickly turns into a cough as Zuko leaves the room. After a few minutes he comes back with Toy Story 2, a choice that makes you raise an eyebrow considering its heartbreaking song is not something you’d expect Zuko to want to watch. Nonetheless, you hardly protest as the two of you settle in on the couch for the movie to begin.
To your surprise, the animated movie managed to steal a couple chuckles from Zuko. After all the bickering throughout the week with Sokka, it was a welcome and pleasant sound ringing in your ears. Despite your better judgment, you shift closer to him, especially when you know Jessie’s big song is getting closer. He doesn’t move away though and even wraps an arm around you. When a chill runs down your spine, you wonder if it’s due to the fever.
“Are you crying?”
“It’s just SO sad, how could you not, Zuko?! Somebody needs to LOVE HER AGAIN.”
Grinning, he hands you the tissue box, which you fully accept both for your tears and flu-inflicted runny nose. But once the song ends and you’ve let out a good cry, your eyelids start to feel enormously heavy. Zuko must sense this because he scoots a bit closer to you, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to pass the flu onto Zuko, but for some reason he feels warmer than the mountains of blankets you’re buried under.
The rest of the movie plays on and you struggle to keep your eyes open, often shifting against Zuko to wake yourself back up. You know there’s more to the movie but Zuko picks up the remote and turns off the tv. Before you could even question what he’s doing, he’s lifting you up and walking you to your room.
“But we didn’t see the end of the movie!”
“You weren’t going to stay up to see the end anyways.”
“But you needed to see Jessie and Bullseye find new homes! With Andy! And Wheezy!! Wheezy gets fixed!!”
He helped you under the covers and sat beside you on your bed for a moment. You still feel enough energy to offer up a few more protests.
“Only the end of the movie can cure me with its pure, unadultered childhood joy! You can use some, too! Disney fixes all things!”
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, but before getting up, Zuko leaned in to kiss your forehead lightly.
“Go to bed, you idiot.”
You didn’t even register when he left your side because you were asleep again within minutes. In fact, when the sunlight from the bedroom window wakes you up hours later, you could have sworn it was all just a fever dream anyways. Disney movies cuddled up with Zuko? Definitely sounds fake. However, later on in the morning, you do begin to suspect it was all real when you find your Toy Story 2 DVD still in DVD player and catching Katara and Sokka trying to discreetly give each other a high five.
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faeriescorpio · 3 years
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Damien Time Travel Chapter 5
Damien stood by the door of the coffee shop, nearly twitching with anticipation and the need for answers. He checked his watch. The Colonel was five minutes late.
"Damien!" Came a gleeful cry, and Damien's vision was obstructed by hands swooping in from behind him to cover his eyes. "Guess who?"
"William," he greeted, smiling in relief. "How are you?"
"Brilliant!" Came the response, and The Colonel all but fell into his seat, grinning. "I went safari hunting again and almost got a lion!"
Damien tried to make a smile that wasn't a grimace, and William grinned, so he must've succeeded. He felt incredibly tense, still haunted by what the District Attorney had made him realize.
"How have you been?" William asked back. "I thought you were always working!"
"I'm taking a small break," Damien said. "I got a little sick, but I bounced back alright." William leaned forward with a gasp, eyes wide, and Damien twitched in surprise.
"What are you-"
"An illness?" His wild-eyed friend demanded. "Did you throw up? Did you have to call a doctor? Did you have to go to the hospital?"
Cursing himself for bringing up his 'minor cold' to The Colonel, who traveled far and wide and saw all sorts of germ-related horrors, matched with the recent end of the Spanish Flu Epidemic (god, he wishes he wasn't living in the 1920's and was back in his wonderfully safe, vaccine-filled world of 202- well.)
"It was nothing! I was out for a day!" Damien rushed to calm him. "I'm perfectly fine, as you can see."
The Colonel looked at him for a moment longer, eyes filled with concern, then tilted his head.
"Alright," he said. "I suppose you called me to just 'catch up' out of the blue, then."
"Maybe I did," Damien retorted, and William huffed in amusement.
"Right, Mister Do-Things-Efficiently wanted to leave Mark's party for having fun, and catch up now!" He guffawed, and Damien frowned as he remembered his fears.
"I have to admit," Damien stated, hiding his nervousness behind nonchalance. "When you first responded to my phone call, I was ecstatic. But what on earth are you doing in town?" It was something that was worrying him terribly, but he hid it behind a friendly smile.
"Oh," The Colonel laughed, rubbing the back of his head almost sheepishly, "Alright, alright, I'll tell you." He leaned forward, and Damien, still incredibly tense with nerves, followed suit.
"I was hoping to see some old friends," William said, smile fond, and reached forward to poke Damien in the chest. "I was under the impression that some of my friends were big hot shots too busy working!" Damien flushed.
"Wait, you just wanted to see me?" Damien said, eyes round with surprise and relief. Maybe this had happened the last time around too, only his secretary might've deflected William's call. Which would've been a shame, but at least this wasn't some unknown side-effect from messing with the timeline.
"And that fine district attorney you've got there!" William continued boisterously, and Damien flushed again as several customers at the coffee house looked over at the loud voice.
"William, that better not be inappropriate," Damien said, face flaming. William snickered, lacking any sense of self-embarrassment.
"Well, it's true," He said. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, but I'd like to get to know my friends!" He leaned forward. "They're the one that leaves the building with you, in the gray suit, right?"
"Have you been stalking us?" Damien asked, and the Colonel laughed again.
"I just wanted to make sure I was about to bother the right person!"
And then Damien had a brilliant idea. Oh, oh, why hadn't he thought of this before? It would stop every problem that was about to happen right in its tracks! He wouldn't have to worry about the mansion party because-
"Why don't you meet them? I can get a little party together, October 13th, Friday?" He offered with a smile. "You can get to know them and we can have some fun!"
"But that's the same day as Mark's party," William said, eyes suddenly narrowed, and Damien swallowed as he remembered that as exuberant as both versions of his old friend could be, the older version before becoming Warfstache was still incredibly intelligent underneath that raucous noise.
"Um, " Damien said, "Well,"
"What aren't you telling me?" William demanded suddenly, pressing his hands against the table. Damien blinked, internally panicking.
Oh no, oh god, what am I going to say-?
"I don't know why he invited us!" Damien blurted out, and William stared at him behind his strange glasses.
Damien had meant, 'I don't know why Mark invited me and the District Attorney', but then his mind kicked back into gear and he realized he could spin this in his favor.
"I don't know what we're celebrating," He continued, and William leaned closer, and his voice became hushed. "We haven't been all together as a group like this in years, and now just out of the blue he invites us without even coming up with a reason why?"
"I see," William said, eyes narrowed, and Damien realized with a start that their faces were inches apart, and he pulled back a bit.
"It is suspicious," William continued, voice dropping low, and he brushed his fingers against his mustache absent-mindedly. "I can't help but wonder..."
"Wonder what?" Damien asked, and Williams shook himself like a wet dog shaking off water, or a man trying to shake off unwanted thoughts.
"Nothing," The Colonel said, and stood up suddenly. "It was good to see you, but I must get going."
"Wait," Damien said anxiously as William headed for the door. "Are you coming to my place Friday?"
"I don't know," The Colonel said, and Damien's heart sank like a rock. "I don't know..." He sighed. "I want to believe that Mark has good intentions, and unless you have solid proof telling you otherwise...?" He let his words trail off, and Damien drooped. William nodded like he saw what he expected.
"I'll see you later, Damien," He said, exiting the shop, and pointed at the mayor. "And I expect you to introduce me to that friend!"
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hopeintheashes · 3 years
Text
Fic Masterpost
Everything I wrote in 2021 (post from December 31, 2021).
The list below was last updated October 24, 2021. All links go to AO3.
My AO3
https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeintheashes
9-1-1
Bad Things Happen Bingo
Bad Things Happen Bingo: series link
we're losing all this daylight, but soon the moon's gonna rise: one-shots including Chicken Pox and Black Eye squares
shook the best when your love was home (Shaking and Shivering square): Buck's the one shaking and shivering. Eddie will always keep him warm.
Waves (Worked Themselves to Exhaustion square): Post-4x14 (Survivors). Buck's trying to convince himself and everyone else that he's fine, even as the world tilts on its edge.
A Trick of the Light (Allergic Reaction square): Eddie’s not feeling well. It takes a while to figure out why.
The Sharp End of the Knife (Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms square): He hadn’t expected it to be worse once Eddie was back at work. Buck with anxiety nausea.
Long-form
First Best: Hurt/comfort, angst, sickfic. Buck and Taylor as friends with benefits, where the benefits are platonic cuddling and a little bit of tough love. Buck and Eddie, figuring out that they don't have to live without each other, or by anyone else's rules. In which everyone finally learns to ask for what they need.
Home Series
Home series: Eddie, Buck, and Christopher figuring out how to be a family. (Shameless hurt/comfort, all of it.) Part 1 - Warmth: Hurt/comfort, sickfic. As Buck finds out, sometimes you can't just keep pushing through. Eddie and Christopher are there to put the pieces back together. Part 2 - Hazards: Hurt/comfort, sickfic. Buck learns (several times over) what Eddie already knows: Kid germs are merciless. Totally worth it, though. Part 3 - Home (Show Me Where the Light Is): Hurt/comfort, lockdown, becoming a family, parenting, first kiss, figuring things out. Eddie, Christopher, and Buck, getting through the pandemic together. Bonus Content: I like me better when I’m with you: One-shots in the Home universe. Just an excuse for more shameless hurt/comfort. One-Shots & Episode Tags let go (episode tag for 5x04): It comes out of nowhere. // It comes out of everywhere. Buck and Chim, during and after that scene in Home and Away.
the static’s where you’ll find me (episode tag for 5x01): Buck goes home with Eddie after shift. No one is okay, no matter how much they’re pretending to be.
Gravity: Buck and Eddie, sick!Buck, flu, crying from fever. He's sinking. That's as far as he can get his brain to go: that he's being pulled down under by something deep and inevitable. Black-hole gravity. Well. No use fighting it, then. Buck's sick, but he's not alone. with every small disaster: Episode coda. Buck comes to Eddie and Christopher after the events of 4x05 (Buck Begins). He's not okay, but that's alright. He doesn't have to be. not like it hurts much anyway: The survival strategies that got us through childhood are hard-wired in a way that's tough to switch off. Buck is struggling with Ana being in Eddie and Christopher's life. Angst, pining, jealousy, unhealthy coping strategies, hurt/comfort. Ambiguous/unresolved ending, because so often in life we're in the unresolved middle of things. Other Challenges/Prompt Fills:
Sick/Whump Prompts Touch Prompts
Criminal Minds
Maps series: Some people have a gravity like the sun, and the way they burn blinds and wounds: the collateral damage of incandescent love. To lose them is to be knocked out of orbit. // Untethered. That’s what he is without Morgan. Part 1 - Maps: JJ pov, sick!Reid. Casefic, hurt/comfort, angst. Includes canon-typical violence, including canon-typical violence against children. There are kids going missing in New Hampshire. Reid is not okay. JJ's trying to keep them both from falling apart. Set early in Season 13. When people ask me which fic I'm most proud of, this (Maps) is the answer I give. Part 2 - They Don’t Love You Like I Love You: Morgan pov, sick!Reid. Hurt/comfort, pining, angst. Post-Amplification. Reid's sick, again, and Morgan's trying to keep everything under control. Part 3 - Enough: Reid pov, sick!Reid. Hurt/comfort, pining, angst, heartache, not a happily-ever-after ending. The truth comes out, in the end. Set sometime between Maps and the middle of season 14.
Suits/White Collar crossover
Stay: Mike/Neal, sick!Mike. Dinner at Neal’s was supposed to be a one-time thing. Rated E (includes sexual content).
Marvel/MCU
After the End of the End of the World: Endgame fix-it, everyone lives. Natasha-centric. She wakes to pain, in shallow water, in half-familiar arms. The eclipse hangs in weird stillness above. She feels broken. Shattered. Like she shouldn’t be alive.
Teen Wolf
Breathe: Scott-centric; Scott & Stiles friendship dynamics; hurt/sick Isaac. Hurt/Comfort, Angst. Who decided that he was in charge? He’s no leader. He can’t fix this. Set immediately post-Unleashed.
Supernatural
Early-season fics. Hurt/comfort, angst, some fluff. Written a decade ago. There are enough, and from long enough ago, that I'm not going to link to them individually, but feel free to explore them on AO3. A couple of highlights: Polarnatt: Dean with Benny in purgatory. sick/hurt!Dean, Benny in the caregiving role. Hurt/comfort, angst. Purgatory exists in a dim half-light that silhouettes the endless trees. Dean can’t decide whether it’s twilight or dawn. He finally settles on the kind of light that comes to the far, far North in the middle of winter; a few hours of dimness, pulled out, stretched forever. He saw taffy at a state fair once, turning and pulling and pulling and turning. He couldn’t look away. The sky here is pulled out like that, stretched between the hands of God, blocking out the sun, keeping the monsters caged. Sinking: Set early in Season 1. Hurt/comfort, angst. Sam is sick and grieving. Dean does what he can to help. At first, the weight on his chest is indistinguishable from grief. Sea Otters and Bumblebees: The fluffiest thing I have probably ever written, and I still love it to pieces. Based on this prompt: Sam is sick and drifting in and out of sleep on the couch while Dean teaches Cas how to make a real Thanksgiving dinner. Any other "family" members (Bobby, Jody, etc.) can be there too!
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deeeelightfuldee · 3 years
Text
surveys 053.
do you sing in the shower? oh every single time. Its something I look forward to. 
do you think money makes people happy? As someone who currently relies on birthdays and holidays as her income, I can tell you it would relieve a bit of stress from me to even have like 100 bucks a month.
what's your relationship status? single.
what time is it? 12:25 am
what emotion are you feeling right now? I’m all over the place. Tonight Kile and I were messaging back n forth in a consistent manner which we haven’t done in a long time. Things were a bit romantic, which was extremely hard for me to deny participation in, and then it ended with me saying bye. boy it is hard to let go of him
do you have netflix? I do.
have you ever traveled outside your home country? no. Sadly, without a shot I will not be getting, I’m unsure of how I’ll be able to until the restrictions lessen.
coffee or tea? teeeeeeea pls.
shower or bath? Shower unless the bath is deep enough to cover my long self. 
what's your favorite pizza topping? depends on what kind of pizza. For instance, Jacks just GETS how to do supreme. some places nail the pepperoni, or fresh garlic or whatever. 
what's something that makes you happy? thinking about decorating my own place one day.
do you have siblings or are you an only child? I have 2 brothers and 1 sister
what's your favorite instrument? Piano, cello, drums
what's your favorite food? today it is fruity pebbles.
what is something you are always losing? I am pretty consistent on things going back to their original spot. I suppose if I’m losing something maybe it’d be like a scrunchie.
are you good at spelling? a good amount of the time.
what is one goal you have? all my goals are shifting.
did you get a flu shot this year? Nooo. never have. 
what's your favorite Disney movie? oh boy. i am not good with narrowing down those. are you bored? Not really, I’m just trying to keep my mind occupied until I’m sleepy.
what are you listening to? serendipity, bennys tail hitting my pillow, and my fans.
what's your favorite foreign language? I think it depends. are we talking for the way it sounds? or one that I’d want to learn?
what do you do when you can't sleep? this, read, find quotes, do puzzles, stare at the ceiling.
do you like cats or dogs better? this is one of my very least favorite questions to be asked. why would anyone want to choose between the two? both are so great.
do you have any piercings? Just my ears
what's your favorite vegetable? Potatoes
do you eat meat? Yeah.
what's your favorite season? any of them minus summer. Honestly, probably winter. 
do you still write letters? I love to, but I no longer have anyone to write to. 
what would make you really happy right now? i think a distraction that comes from having a crush.
what's your favorite song? ooo this changes but right now i’m into a lot of blue october.
are you good at giving advice? so, I’m the person you go to for advice if you want the moral, behaved, “you won’t regret this later” type advice. I’m great at giving that.
what's your favorite hobby? Right now, this.
do you prefer to talk or text? That is going to depend on the person. almost always text. But some people.. their voice is just intoxicating.
what's your favorite pair of shoes? I’m going to have to trash all my shoes for ones with heel support. 
how often do you read? (as in books) usually daily, but I’ve fallen out of that lately.
do you have any pets? I have 2 cats currently. I really want a golden retriever, but hey.
what's your favorite day of the week? they’re all similar at the moment, but probably saturdays
are you in college? I’m in the inbetween. Finished 2 bachelors, but am waiting for grad program
are you/have you ever been in a long distance relationship? I have been,
how do you typically listen to music? I use Spotify. either thru my headphones, my bluetooth speaker, the kitchen google, or my phone.
do you like going to the beach? I do so long as I have shade or the water is good to swim in.
did you make any new year's resolutions? I think pandemic NY resolutions were all about survival thru mentally exhausting times.
how old are you? 29 yrs young
do you know anyone who is blind? I do
who is someone you admire? My mom
do you have a good singing voice? when I was a kiddo, preteen, and teen yes. not any longer.
are your nails painted? Nope. I just wanted a break from keeping up with them.
Are you an extrovert or introvert? I’m an introvert but I can behave very well with the extroverts.
what are you having/had for dinner tonight? I had some tacos.
do you ever write in a journal? I would like to begin again, but this is a decent makeshift option
if you could time travel when/where would you go? I mean I’d love to go back to some great memories, but I worry that could be painful beyond repair.
what's your favorite animal? whales.
what's your favorite kind of cereal? honestly my cravings for cereal are for any kinds that I can no longer have. so dont ask.
how was your day? I’m only 44 minutes into it.
do you ever listen to classical music? I do. Clair de lune is one of the best 
what inspires you? learning. learning always inspires me.
how many pillows do you sleep with? I have like 20. OK huge exaggeration. I believe the true number of sleeping pillows is 4 large, 1 mini. 
how many hours of sleep do you need? I typically run off of about 3. I’ve had sleep studies done regarding that. But If I’m getting good oxygen and the temp is coooooooold I sleep so good.
do you have big or small feet? I have pretty average to slightly bigger. 
what's the weather like where you are? It’s been in the upper 80s.
what's the most interesting thing you can see out the window? just the reflection from my TV. it’s real dark out.
does/did your high school have a school song? no.
what month is your birthday in? July.
what's your dream job? the brain.
are you excited for summer? I’ve had a lovely summer, truly.
what foreign country would you want to live in for 6 months? switzerland.
did you have to go to school today? No, no I have not.
win a million $$ or never have to pay for anything again? Never have to pay for anything. Why would that even be a question. do you throw coins into fountains? when I was a kiddo
do you have a trampoline? Nope
what's your favorite song lyric? what if we could put our lives on hold and meet somewhere inside of the world, I would meet you... would you meet me? 
what did you eat the last time you went to the movies? Ill be honest IDK if we even got food.
do you ever measure time in songs? only if I’m in the shower. I’ll be like ahhh I’m 4 songs in.
do you know how to play chess? I’ve been taught MULTIPLE times. have I retained any of them? na.
what's your favorite game? (any type) right now I’m digging skipbo, trionomos, rummykub, and trouble.
do you enjoy traveling? I love it. so much.
do you tend to wait till the last minute? nope. I’m almost always 2 weeks prior
have you ever owned a goldfish? Yep!
how do you relieve stress? go on a drive. 
without looking it up, guess the outside temperature? I’d guess maybe 70. lemme see how close I am. 68!
now look it up - how close were you? woops. 68! two off.
do you prefer digital or analog clocks/watches? Digi. 
do you prefer to shop in stores or online? I almost always prefer online, but in store has its own perks like seeing the quality of things.
do you enjoy coloring? oh heck’n yea do you like to dance? I do!
have you ever owned a horse? my family did, yes
do you take selfies? oh i do. MUCH less now, than I did before. before I used to send kile like 10 a day. now I might take 2 per week.
do you ever listen to music in languages besides English? Not often, but on occasion
have you ever cried from listening to a song? absolutely.
do you prefer headphones or earbuds? so I appreciate how headphones are safer for the ears, but i typically wear earbuds.
can you speak Spanish? Very little. like a few words
what's the last thing you watched on youtube froggy freshhhhhhhhh dunked on now what time is it? 12:57. Im getting sleepy. --------- ok now it’s 859 am. I passed out last night.
do you ever watch musicals? sometimes. it’s not my favorite thing
do you know anyone who's a twin? Yeppp
do you ever get carsick? oh heck yeah, i do love the windows open
what's your opinion on wolves? I really never had an opinion. check back.
when you're sad do you prefer sad music or happy music? sad. indulge me
do you like seafood? Nooo. i wish
do you enjoy going to the zoo? no. i really dont. are there any celebrities from your hometown? uhhhh not that I know of
do you shower in the morning or at night? morning if I was great hair. If I want meh hair, night
do you prefer to work alone or in a group? Alone. ALWAYS.
do you go to the gym alone or with a friend? I don’t go to the gym. < problem solved.
do you like coconut? I like the scent but not the food. <<< SAME who is someone you're jealous of? JV for her abs
what's your favorite place to go out for breakfast? eggheadz
do you still have your christmas tree up? nah. its a tickle early (july)
do you have a favorite type of bird? cardinal.
have you ever had an overnight flight anywhere? yup. plenty of times.
if you use them, tell me 5 of your recently used emojis heart eyes, disappointed looking off to the side, sad face with eyes closed, hearts all over the face, and rolling eyes.
do you know anyone that plays the violin? yep. 
how much money is in your wallet right now? I would need to count
anything you're looking forward to tomorrow? having been done with packing lol
have you ever auditioned for anything? yeah I used to do auditions all the time for plays I was in.
did you have a webkinz when you were younger? No.
how would you describe your aesthetic? airy, comfy, inviting, warm
have you ever been told you look like a celebrity? yeah a couple times but its like not even a tiny bit close.
when was the last time you rode a bus? i have never.
if you saw $50 on the ground what would you do? is there a wallet attached?
do you know how to play any unusual instruments? yeah. don’t ask me. I’m not pleased about it.
are you an early bird or a night owl? kind of both. 
have you ever had trouble understanding someone because of an accent? oh yes. But the more time you spend talking to those individuals who have accents stronger than what you’re used to, become very easy to understand over time.
do you ever go to Massachusetts? I’ve never been but I’d love to go.
do you personally know anyone who is transgender? yeah a few people I’ve met through school. 
do you remember anything from when you were 5 or younger? yeah a few very small memories. 
do you need to do laundry? yes I desperately need to pack and I’m waiting on the laundry for that to happen. 
do you know anyone (including yourself) who actually enjoys math? NOT ME. not even close to me. Kile seemed to like it. 
do you have a favorite poem? the one written for meeeeee
if you were from somewhere else, would you visit your town on vacation? I don’t think i’d think of it, it’s not near anything specific.
where would you spend $100 if you had to spend it all in one store? amazon.
would you rather go to Japan or Greece? Greece.
now what song are you listening to? Gilmore girls, text notifications, fans
what are you wearing right now? shorts and a blue teeshirt. Bout to just be in a short shorts so I can tan. 
any fun plans for the weekend? travelingggggg.
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gingerlytragic · 4 years
Text
New Rules
At what point does decency morph into an aural assault invitation? And when is it then appropriate for said decency to mutate into disdain? And for God’s sake, can we all agree on a universal plan to manage/extinguish it? These are genuine public issues that, continuing as unidentified and unenforced conundrums, will inevitably breed a new kind of twisted and hostile version of an “acceptable” social milieu.  For example, “How are you?” in no way requires a thoughtful response. A thoughtful response is a waste of time. It is regretful to the instigator, and plainly disrespectful. Rather, the acceptable answer to this inauthentically polite query is a perfunctory nod and “how ya doin?” At this point it is very important to break eye contact, drop your shoulder and keep it movin’. Because once we start pretending to care about the real answer, uncomfortable conversationalists will never stop. They’ll never learn the rules which aren’t legally, but ought to be, in place 
I’m sure violations of these rules occur all the time, all over the country. Never more had it begun rearing its head, however, into horrifying existence, as it did when I moved to the South. Perhaps such transgressions exist in the North, but I had always been more preoccupied with my own assholery and social tip-toeing to notice. A conversation in New Jersey, wherein a two-word answer would suffice, a guy might grant you a grunt. In North Carolina though? That same two-word answer is stretched like taffy over a candy hook made from your brittle, dwindling patience. Much like taffy, their words are stretched and elongated, becoming thinner and less substantive with each pull, while cavities slowly and painfully form.
Apparently in North Carolina the invitation of “How ya doin” need not be signed, sealed, and delivered. No, no, no. In the balmy October of the South, just existing in a space warrants no-knock access to your attention and headspace. Let us set the scene… 
I sat for too long in a doctor’s waiting room, reading. On the other side of the room, at my nine-o’clock, a 65-year old white woman with silver fly-aways made herself known by a diet coke can full of factors. From my seat I heard her gargling coughs. They were deep and wet in a way a girl can appreciate, and undoubtedly caused by her smoking at least a carton of Parliaments a day. She sported nose tubes that seemed to connect to nothing, and initially hobbled through the threshold with a cane and a silent struggle. A metaphorical silence of course, as the coughing was perpetual from the start. 
Sitting to my right, comfortably in my periphery, was an able-bodied white man in apparent health. He was about the age of the female smoker but the two could not have been more different.  Let’s call him Craig and her Joanne-- Jo, if you will. When Craig entered the building he walked right over to the receptionist’s window. He presented his paperwork and the woman in scrubs, Rhonda, for our purposes, went to work on her computer. Now, apologies to any HIPPA enforcement agents out there, but the window of glass does nothing to prevent the rest of the waiting room from eavesdropping. The furthest chair is fifteen feet away and other than a TV with looped new clips of “how to incorporate greens into your diet” and “a patient with diabetes dies every seven seconds” there was no obstruction of sound.
The free air space proved so much more frustrating than informative, and this is why we need rules. I didn’t hear about this guy’s weird growth or incontinence or shitty blood pressure. I learned, instead, that he is a perpetrator of multiple social-felonies and should be put away from the public forever. After Rhonda the receptionist’s “thank you,” he stayed put at the window to engage in assault. Yes, I know the climate and yes, I am selecting my incendiary verbiage with care. This. Was. Assault.
“When’s this mask thing gonna let up, huh? It’s eighty-six degrees and I gotta wear it while I work outside!” Craig didn’t care about masks then and he doesn’t care about the masks now. Or maybe he does, but that isn’t why he was talking about it. He was just filling air; stuffing to the seams miniscule pillows of conversation to ease his own discomfort at what was once just innocent silence, a polite absence of sound. I know this because at Rhonda’s lack of intrigue, he continued, “My mamma is out in the country. She doesn’t understand new food, so I go out there to eat with her when she’s lonely.” 
Oh Craig, I thought. Does he go to help her understand the new food? Is the new food the cause of her loneliness? Does she miss her old food? And what new food are we talking here? Was Craig’s mother just woken from a vampiric slumber and now summons assistance with Lean Cuisine? WHAT IS THE NEW FOOD, CRAIG? I had so many questions.  I never did find out though, because at Rhonda’s radio-silence, he awkwardly forged ahead with more relevant small talk. Opening his wallet for his copay he suggested that he “ought to be getting a flu shot this season, right?” I’m not sure Rhonda recognized his rhetorical tone, because she finally caught interest enough to respond,  “Oh, would you like your flu shot? We can do that during today’s appointment!” “No, no,” Craig explained, “I don’t want my arm to hurt.” With a meek “...okay…” from Rhonda, Craig lumbered away and lowered himself into a chair at my two-thirty. He kept his eyes forward and nose, for the most part, in his own business. 
Meanwhile, Joanne over there was hacking up a storm. A tornado, to be exact; one that transported her out of Kansas, to a self-sustainable yellow brick road of mucous. Our old girl Jo was on and off the phone, talking and laughing to herself, but politely contained all the contents of her brain deep inside, with an airtight cap and a six-digit combination lock. Her sinus molecules may have been spewed but her thoughts were not, and I appreciated this about her. 
I learned by her last phone call that Jo wasn’t from around here. One could easily hear that she didn’t speak with any sort of accent, though that isn’t uncommon for the less redneck natives. Juxtaposed with Craig’s mumbling drawl, her language was crystal clear and frank as fuck. Jo offered a job to the stranger on the other end of the phone, and was as transparent as you’d expect from a Northerner, “Don’t you dare accept unless you’re serious, this has fallen through four times before and I won’t be made a fool of.” I was given no inkling as to what the job entailed, as Jo possessed no performative bone on her body. If Craig was in her position, he’d have turned to tell me about how his stubborn mother needs to accept this part-time job offer at Panera, in order to immerse herself in twenty-first century food and culture, being a vampire and all. 
Jo then started breaking down the commute from the Path in JC over to Liberty State Park, or the WTC, “or one of those, who remembers?”  Recognizing the NY/NJ transit-ese, my eyes lit up. Suddenly Jo’s coughing bothered me less, her loud phone call became endearing, and I stopped wondering where those damn nose tubes were leading. Because now she was from the North. One of us, I thought. I marveled as she caned her way to Rhonda’s window, not for small talk, but to sanitize her hands and empty an entire tree-limb’s worth of tissues from the soon-to-be-empty box. The threat to the environment worried me not, for Jo is a New Yorker (or better yet, from Jersey), and I’m sure she knows what she’s doing. 
The army of tissues, it turned out, was not for her tube-occupied nostrils.  I never saw the spider, but heard the thump thump thump of her trying to murder it. With her cane. It was quite a jarring sight, actually. “Now that is a big spider,” Jo remarked aloud, but privately. With this new information I smiled and chuckled to myself. Something about the sight of an aging Northern woman with a cane and oxygen attempting to annihilate this creature in a doctor’s waiting room. Craig would have let us know about the presence of the spider and then stomped on it in some barbaric execution of manners-meets-masculinity. 
As I turned my head, eyes bright and lips curled beneath my mask, Craig’s gaze briefly latched onto mine. Audibly sighing and shaking his head, Craig gestured as if we were in this together. “Can you believe this woman,” his eyes suggested. Dude, you don’t even know, I thought, I am SO on her side. I turned my attention back to my book. Though both born during Eisenhower, Jo conducted her morning according to how she felt, reacting to what happened around her. I believe Craig would have had the same morning, regardless of events, acting instead of reacting. Walk in, make small talk, be polite, mention mama, eyes front, don’t bother anyone. Ironically, Craig’s version of manners is contingent on the mindless suffering of others. We need not assault the aural orifice of others to avoid awkwardness of our own silent suffering.
So we need rules. Like most legislation, the states can decide for themselves where to draw the line and what the punishment should be. I don’t think the death penalty would be appropriate for a minor transgression, but then, we are in the South.  If marijuana possession, which you keep to yourself, warrants 45 days in prison and a one thousand dollar fine, then what’s a short stint with a court-mandated muzzle? Craig is not a bad guy, he just can’t read a room. Until all the legal kinks are worked out I hope his next doctor’s appointment is full of other selfishly polite Southerners with whom he can share tales of ma in the country. And I hope Jo moves back up North, takes me with her, offers me that mystery job, and I’ll never let her down.
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adalbertosoos-blog · 4 years
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The sale price was not released
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