#godddddd fuck me
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one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle
#my best friend doesn’t have tumblr but I am mentally sending him so many apologies right now jesus fuckkkkkkk#I feel so fucking awful rn#I went and watched taskmaster and that distracted me a bir#but literally. suicidal thoughts out of nowhere. urge to drink out of nowhere#it’s like. 8:15pm and I’m thinking of just going to bed now#only way to get my brain to shut up#I have such a busy weekend ahead as well#godddddd I want to enter hermit mode so bas#I’m not gonna do anything stupid don’t worry#but I sure Feel Like Doing It
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im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti
#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work#now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water#that oughta fix me#pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts#they were too important in my mind not to include#godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy#i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle#ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet!#wait no sorry that was a fucking lie#i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong!#ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#barnaby b beagle#hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM#unwell. simply unwell yes yes#there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url!#puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open#might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!
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Love, Dhes
Parker,
It's unfair how time with you feels so short. How the last 10 years have felt like no time at all. I like to think there are other versions of us out there, somewhere. Maybe in another timeline, another universe. I like to think we find each other no matter where we are or what we're doing. That we're together and happy and I get to love you in a dozen different lifetimes. That's what I hope, anyway. And I hope when this lifetime ends, we get to start over and do it all again. Because once just isn't enough. Not for me. Not with you.
I hope the next 10 years pass slower.
Love, Dhes
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#sue#dhestyn#kelly#bow#stella#duder the cat#marky#jax#i'm not fucking recovering from this#critical damage has been dealt to me#GODDDDDD this edit took me so LONG.#the GOOD news is there ARE other versions of them & they DO in fact find each other in every universe !!#whether or not they are happy though. well. that's a different story#cough monster boyz. cough slaughter house.#:-)#ngl a lot of the time i was working on this edit all i could think about was how much dhes has grown as a character#like baby dhes genuinely was such a punk. wouldn't be caught DEAD writing a love letter#let alone to kelly of all people#idk i'm just proud of him. seeing him so comfortable with himself... how he's able to show that to others & not feel afraid or ashamed...#it's really sweet!!!#like ik y'all don't know a whole lot about the boys as kids (bc i'm v protective of them so i don't share a lot lol) but trust me.#dhes has come a long way.#genuinely feel like i have watched him grow & learn & change & it does. give me feelings.#n e way. that's it.
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in the top 10 witty comeback hiccup moments i fear
#ALVIN THE TREACHEROUS AS I LIVE AND BREATHE !!!!#he literally roasts the hell out of him every time and it's so fucking funny to read#godddddd i love him SO BAD#hiccup#httyd books#httyd book 8#how to break a dragon's heart#how to train your dragon#jackshiccup text#the gritted teeth just sells it for me#the most polite way hiccup could've said go to hel
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Yellow for pee because pee is yellowand red for poop because poop is red
#cw bright colors#possibly? I don’t know but just in case#since I tend to always make things excruciatingly bright#runny’s art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2018#rottmnt fanart#unshowered#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rise donnie#I am never ever EVER going to color a drawing ever again oh my fucking godddddd#I actually really loathe this drawing a lot I’m not gonna go into it but like this is definitely#one of those things that makes me wanna bash my head repeatedly into a wall the longer I look at it#peepeepoopoo was written to preserve my own sanity. that’s all u needa know
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gay people cannot break up normally it always has to be something like "it was me. i called the cops. but you're still in charge, benson" and get like four women and cops involved
#GODDDDDD i enjoyed the movie so much. so so much. i loved how tense it was#seeing the caption (OMINOUS MUSIC) and knowing shit was about to go down felt like when playing games & you get close to an enemy#and the battle theme activates lol#the ending had me so tense though. for whatever reason i thought benson was gonna come out of the closet at any second#and it was just the silly plushies😭#i wish we had learn more about benson's circumstances but maybe he was just fucked up. good enough for me#randy bradley#the passenger 2023#the passenger
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a smile would be nice
#my art lol#persona 3#makoto yuki#minato arisato#p3 protagonist#kotone shiomi#persona 3 femc#hamuko arisato#aigis#aigis persona 3#p3 aigis#ryoji mochizuki#insert that audio like OH GODDDDDD IM SCAREDDDD!!!!!!!!! bc yes THATS HOW I FEEL RN AUGHHGHGHhhh. interpret that as you will#i s2g everytime i actually take the time to try and do a nice bg IT GETS COVERED UP BY THE CHARAS. EVERY FUCKING TIME#also bruh not THIS about to be the thing that forces me to actually properly draw ears. like i can technically but i dont like doing it#cus they look weird. but some of these character designs look really weird/wrong imo if i try removing/hiding the ears so GRAHH#its like how sonic forced me to reexamine anatomy in my feeble attempts to draw sonic styled charas. aughhh#granted i still think i suck ass at drawing sonic charas and my regular humanoid anatomy thangs aint that good either#but its considerablyyyy better i'd say comparing to my art from like 5-7 years ago for example. so thats a good thing ig?#anyways back on topic. upscaled this bc i accidentally made it tiny and honestly i still dont know if this looks that good#feel like smthns missing or the lighting looks weird but i think im just gonna stop looking at it otherwise ill go insane
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springtrap but he has claws and he slowwwwwly sinks them into youi while holdoing you close purring softly hes not eveb truing ta hurt you on ourpose justtrying ta keep you as close as possible and get you ta stay put for just a few more seconds oohohohhh ohhh hospital hostpital hospital. emergency room hospital
#ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh'#springtrap w/claws my absolute weakness#ohhh ouhuhhohohohohoooooo#slash me w/them thnits please ohhh oh my gos#spacie spoinks#i want him ta latch on and never let go#aouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh#houaaauuuuuuugh ohhhh#who ami kidding i cant pay for the emergency room bill#urgent care urgent care pjaaaa waiting room in the urgent care#patiently waiting ta be seen in the urgent care while im bleeding all over the seats from springrtap ripping me apart#w/his claws and teeth#there are bite wounds and deep gashes all over me and i am just sitting there really content and springtrap#is embarrassed he did so much damage but also slightly worried#sorry for writing fanfic in the tags i need him so bad and i need 2 be held even more than that#ohhh my god i need 2 fuck him so bad#ohhhh ohhh my godddddd#utgent care urgent care ohhhh calm drive ta the urgent care as i cover the car seats w/my own blood#fuuuck oh my god fuck oh mt god
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Pochontas (1995)
wiggins meta under the cut
here's the thing: ratcliffe is constantly being explained as a representation of the forces of greed and racism and colonialism/imperialism (arguably this can translate to capitalism as well), but what about wiggins? what is his role? he most obviously plays the role of the Fool, and provides a character for ratcliffe to have consistent dialogue with. but what does he represent?
i have a theory that wiggins is meant to represent the ethnic english, the culture of the english, and the willing servitude of the english to the evils of imperialism/greed/racism in exchange for a sense of superiority and security. wiggins is, paradoxically, both above and below the settlers in terms of status. he's a servant, but he serves the highest ranking man there. he's a yes-man, but he's also brutally truthful (spelling out for the audience ratcliffe's motivations and the immorality of the settler's presence and actions).
wiggins is also a caricature of the english to a T: he resembles many a self-styled stereotype of the typical englishman in english comedies. he's prim, a bit fussy, obsessed with gardening, a bit oblivious and silly and somewhat incessantly cheery. he's drawn, also, like an english caricature. his teeth and upturned nose in particular stand out to me.
the line "and he came so highly recommended" from each of these characters is so fascinating because of this because it highlights the mutual consent of these two allegorical characters to be involved with each other and subscribe to a master-servant dynamic, wherein ratcliffe has invested in wiggins to be useful and efficient, and wiggins has invested in ratcliffe to provide security both financially and socially. ratcliffe find's wiggins's personality (the cultural quirks of the english) trite and unnecessary. wiggins found ratcliffe's extremity to ultimately be outside of his own best interests once it could no longer protect him (ratcliffe being no longer able to provide the status and security once he was put in chains).
we can't be sure if wiggins has truly learned a lesson, however. he remains in America with some of the other settlers instead of returning to his homeland. we don't know what he intends to do there, or why he's made this choice. perhaps he's going to try turning over a new leaf and assimilate to a new society. perhaps he's going to try and influence his way into a similar position as before. in any case, we know wiggins's core motive is always going to be self-preservation. what that looks like without ratcliffe and the protections of aggressive imperialism, we simply don't know.
#i'm saying post-movie pocahontas has her work cut out for her with guys like wiggins still around#these two and their dynamic sits in my brain like mold fr fr#pocahontas (1995)#disney's pocahontas#disney ratcliffe#disney wiggins#ratcliffe#wiggins#governor ratcliffe#pocahontasedit#pocahontasgif#disneyedit#disneygif#fyeahpocahontas#disneyfeverdaily#disney animation#help i'm hyperanalyzing disney's pocahontas again#queso*edit#queso*gif#the ending of pocahontas is tragic in more than one way and this is one of those ways#like. there's no end to the conflict. not really#they got rid of one very aggressive problem in sending ratcliffe back#but a good number of the settlers are staying and the only powhatan they respect in any capacity is pocahontas#and the powhatan are sure as shit not gonna trust the settlers. they'll follow the chief's lead#on establishing good will first but i can't imagine they'll like it#peace is 100% not achieved and the lovers don't get to be together and pocahontas has to give up a LOT to shoulder a massive burden#and on top of it you got guys like wiggins who are total wild cards honestly#whose motives for staying are SUPER unclear#godddddd this movie fucking destroys me so bad i love it i hate it i want to eat i t
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"I vowed not to cry anymore if we survived the great war" "am I allowed to cry?"
#the great war is just on a loop for me#godddddd I ALWAYS KNEW THIS WAS SAD I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD#i gotta go i gotta focus but FUCK
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Cannot stop thinking about how Fernando was the first one to hug Seb after Monza 2008:
#two men who are not afraid to hug with both arms sjfklfl#but seriously fernando especially is always going full in on hugs(rather than the typical one handed) and i respect it#BUT GODDDDDD THAT HE WAS THE FIRST!!!!!! LITERALLY MURDERED ME#ive literally watched this race before and i didnt even notice#i think i wanted to see if there were pics of them from before 2009 and came across this and was so OH?????#fun fact if you look at my gallery from during the past gp +#its literally a mix of sad reaction pics and vettonso pics. what singapore does to a man. :')#but god i feel so abnormal about this hug. its just veru sweet to me okay!!!#vettonso is fun bcs theres not as much content so every little bit is very precious and important to me <3#likeeeeee how close they hug each other and the way theyre still close when they pull back to look at each other!!!#i wonder what theyd be like if they hadnt been rivals. but tbh on the other hand their animosity is why I like them !#but ofc very sweet to see them when the slate was blank bcs then im like hmmm how long until 'fuck you my boy' happens#well! you guys know theyre my brainrot nowadays :D#watching 2010 will be fun bcs its literally primetime for all my ships#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#2008 italian gp
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#this man always comes in with the most off-putting vibes ever#like is he never tired of being a huge headache#also his shadow falling on ama like a cartoon villain spooked the fuck out of me ngl#can they kill Him instead of ama (because i feel like Someone will die in this series)#CAN HE LEAVE AMA ALONE GODDDDDD#jack and joker u steal my heart#jack and joker the series
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listen.
#thinking about this post constantly#it consumes every waking moment of my existence#someone set me free#your dog stopped appearing in the photos are u kidding#AND ITS THE FIRST TIME I HAVENT MESSAGED#BUT ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY.#HEAD IN MY FUCKING HANDS MY GOD#MY GODDDDDD#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#/astro posts#their connection is not fleeting#we will get them Back#i know it#but. for all intents and purposes
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why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes
#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself#but oh my godddddd#''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT#WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING#LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN#OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP#THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW#WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?????????#''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important#characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work#this is totally plausible#''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT''#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#sorry this is making me go insane a little bit.#adventure time#fionna and cake#every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the#mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again.#as a thing* that could have happened
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240329 tokyo concert (cr. @/aur8ra on twt)
#MAN DOWN#me im the man#godddddd#he looks so fucking good#onlyoneof#ooo#ooo fansite#jung wookjin#nine
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undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.
#[cherry on top]#undertale yellow spoilers#[..its still you]#anyways. finished my uty playthrough yesterday. oh my god.#^ that might be a bit of a surprise given that ive said like. nothing about it on here#but honestly i felt like positive-neutral about the game for most of it. like yeah it was good;#but nothing that drove me crazy. yknow? it was just an overall good game.#which is why i didnt really say anything about it#then it started picking up near the middle-end with the steamworks-#i enjoyed axis and guardener a lot; ceroba was a cool party member;#and the music in steamworks goes hard. one of my favorite tracks tbh#then there was the buildup to cerobas fight.#then i /got/ to cerobas fight and. crumples up into a ball AAUUUUUUUUUU#OH MY GODDDDDD#something about it made me shatter into a million tiny pieces.#a lot of things did actually. like how HARD IT WAS#i was stuck on her for OVER AN HOUR#BUT I DID IT. I DID IT LEGIT. IT WAS SO SATISFYING WHEN I FINALLY BEAT HER#god im just insane about ceroba rn. women who fuck up everything big time#and see no other option other than to dig their hole deeper because they sure as hell arent getting out of it#OH AND THE ENDING... BECAUSE OH MY GODDDD OF COURSE CLOVER WOULD DO THAT AHUGHHHHH#THEY'RE THE JUSTICE SOUL. THEY WANTED TO BRING MONSTERS TO JUSTICE AFTER ALL THEY FACED#OF FUCKING COURRSSSEEEEEEE AAAUUGHHHHH <- wail of anguish#KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING.#SORRY. i needed to lose it for my mental health. quoting that one tiktok: 'im craeezay. im insaaane!'#for other tidbits i wanted to mention:#cerobas bossfight music went HARD. i fucking love the phase 3 transition especially with her yelling as the music starts;#that black hole attack can go fuck itself;#and if you were wondering how long it took me to beat uty. it was around 10-11 hours for a pacifist route.#anyways i totally need to play more games. that was fucking awesome and i need to experience more things like that
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