#god zoink myself when

[d3ad-on-arriva1]

.

[minghaoyoudoin]

First

pairing: best friend!hyunsuk x fem!reader

genre: fluffy smut mostly

words: 6.5k (zoinks)

rating: 18+ ONLY!!! fr don't even think about it, minors

warnings: the concept of virginity, mention of and consumption of food, lots of kissing, dirty talk, oral sex (f. receiving), unprotected sex (don't be stupid like these two), hyunsuk is hung, some minor biting and hair pulling, creampie, aftercare, I'm sure I missed some but that's all I can think of lol

a/n: I'm baaaaaaack 😈 this was requested a very long time ago by my lovely 🐢 anon, I'm so sorry it's been so long! with this, I've finally written for all the cix boys mwahahaha. feel free to keep the requests coming, I'm finally done with school so my tumblr shenanigans are back on schedule!

Hyunsuk looked like he was going to vomit.

You stared at him across the small dining table, your forkful of pasta frozen several inches from your mouth. His usually golden skin had turned ashen, his face so pale it was actually bordering on green. Whatever he was thinking about to make him look this way was making the other restaurant guests stare.

“What is going on with you?” You blurted at last. You set your fork back on your plate as Hyunsuk’s eyes flicked up to meet yours. Panic weighed heavy over his warm brown irises, a blanket of fog to mute their hue.

Your best friend grimaced and swallowed thickly, his strong throat flexing. God, you were so tired of noticing things like that. “I think I ate something I shouldn’t have,” he choked out at last.

It was a lie. A poor one, too. “I asked you to lunch so I could ask you a question. Why are you the one about to throw up with nerves?” Your teasing helped disguise the anxiety eating away at you, but you weren’t completely sure if Hyunsuk bought it.

In all honesty, your reason for inviting Hyunsuk out today had everything to do with the fact you noticed things like his adam’s apple bobbing.

“You know I hate when people do that,” Hyunsuk said roughly. He took several deep gulps of his water, your eyes tracking the movement of his throat. “’Sukie, we need to talk’,” his voice rose several octaves to imitate yours, “’Can I ask you something over lunch?’. Do you realize I’ve been shitting myself since then?”

You laughed and reached across the table to pat the top of Hyunsuk’s head, at which he scoffed indignantly. “You know it’s nothing bad, Hyunsuk. I would have stormed over to your place to talk right away if that were the case.”

Hyunsuk had been your best friend for nearly a decade now. You knew him better than you knew yourself most days, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have your fun with him every now and then. If the roles were reversed you were certain he’d do the same thing.

The majority of the green tinge to Hyunsuk’s skin subsided as he finished the last of his water. “Fine then.” He motioned in your direction and finally took a bite of the sandwich in front of him. “Go on, ask your question.”

You opened your mouth and promptly stalled. You hesitated for several moments, abruptly nervous again. When you had played and replayed this scenario in your head earlier, you hadn’t actually considered what his real reaction would be. Would he laugh at you? Storm out of the restaurant? Declare he was done being your best friend for all eternity?

Hyunsuk raised an eyebrow. “Well?”

“We’ve been friends for a really long time.” It was not what you had intended to say.

“Yes?” He looked more confused now, though it was obvious his curiosity outweighed any annoyance. “What does that have to do with anything?”

You ignored him and pushed on, “Have I had a boyfriend in all that time?” Hyunsuk frowned and looked at a point above your head, obviously trying to remember.

“No.”

“Exactly.” You leaned forward in your chair, your pasta forgotten. “I think I’m going insane. Like, actually. No matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t figure out why, and then a couple weeks ago I realized. I’m frustrated.”

“…Frustrated.”

“Yes. I’m restless all the time, I can’t concentrate. I can’t even be alone in the same room with you without—”

“Hold on.” You cut yourself off as Hyunsuk raised a hand to stop you. His other one fidgeted with the white tablecloth, worrying the edge between his thumb and forefinger. “You can’t be in the same room as me?”

You realized now how that sounded when spoken aloud. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I…” You hesitated again, anxiety gripping your throat in earnest. “I’m twenty and I’m still a virgin. It’s driving me up a wall and—I, well…”

Hyunsuk looked like he’d seen a ghost. His eyes were wide, though they had taken on a different quality now than the panic that had been in them earlier. You couldn’t place it. “Say it,” he urged.

You leaned further towards him. He mirrored your movement, his face close enough to share breath. You glanced around to ensure no one was obviously eavesdropping and, once satisfied, you took a deep breath.

“Hyunsuk, I want you to fuck me.”

You internally smacked yourself. Why would you say it like that?

Hyunsuk released the breath he’d been holding in a strained exhale. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest, brown eyes studying your face. You tried to ignore the disappointment rearing in your chest. You’d been expecting more of a reaction from him.

After what could have been minutes or hours, he quietly asked, “Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why me? I know we’re best friends, but you’ve never mentioned anything close to this before. Are you even attracted to me like that?”

Oh yeah, this would hurt to admit. Reluctantly and unable to meet his eyes, you nodded tightly. “I wouldn’t be asking if I weren’t, idiot.”

You knew he was grinning without having to look at him. He was still near vibrating with nerves. “Okay. That’s… good to know. I just… are you just using me to ‘get it over with’? I don’t want to be that to you. I don’t want to ruin our friendship like that.”

At this, your eyes snapped back to his face. “It won’t, I swear it. And you aren’t just some tool I can use, you know. It takes two and all that, so if you aren’t up for it then I’m okay with never bringing it up again.” You paused, trying to gather your thoughts. “I suppose when I figured out I was frustrated sexually like this, I realized there’s no one else I could imagine doing it with. Someone has to be the first and I want it to be you.”

Hyunsuk was still staring at you with that unfamiliar gleam in his eye, something you now realized might be desire.

A new thought crashed through your fragile wall of hope and wiped the smile off your face. “Do you…” You cleared your throat. “Do you not… like me like that?”

Hyunsuk laughed softly, his expression gentling. “Are you kidding me? Of course I do. You’re, well, you’re you.”

That was as close as he would get to calling you beautiful, you supposed. Even so, it was enough to stoke the flames of hope in your heart higher. “Then that’s settled. I know it’s a lot to ask, trust me, I do. If you need time to think about it I completely understand—”

Hyunsuk was out of his chair before you could blink. He looked close to throwing up again, this time with his new knowledge rather than the lack thereof.

“I just need a minute to think.” Hyunsuk began to stride away but froze as soon as he turned around. He looked down at you, his expression pained. “I promise I’ll call you, okay? I swear it."

Despite yourself, this helped you relax. When you spoke, you meant every word, “Take all the time you need. I’ll love you either way.”

Hyunsuk flinched, just barely. He tossed some cash onto the table for lunch and walked away, his long legs carrying him much too fast. You watched him until he vanished around the corner, the anxiety in your chest only worsening when he was out of sight.

What have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found the only way to forget how horny you were was to bake. It didn’t matter what it was. Cupcakes, brownies, cobbler, muffins, you name it—anything that allowed you to focus on a recipe and quiet your mind was good enough for you.

The second you’d gotten home from lunch you busted out every baking-related item you owned. You’d started with a cake, then cupcakes because you accidentally made way too much batter. While they were in the oven, you took the opportunity to take a long shower.

You went through the motions of washing yourself on autopilot. First shampoo, rinse, then conditioner. Shave while the conditioner soaked. Rinse. Wash your body, then your face. The routine was second-nature, unfortunately, which meant it did nothing to distract you from your thoughts. Even after finishing, you stood under the scalding water for as long as you could, just staring at the wall.

You’d scared Hyunsuk away. You knew it in your bones. His promise to call you had made you feel better in the moment, but every time you obsessively checked your phone the screen was blank. At this point you didn’t even want him to say yes. Honestly you wished you’d never brought it up in the first place. You weren’t quite sure what you’d do if you lost your best friend over something as stupid as your virginity.

You didn’t get out of the shower until the water ran too cold to bear. Your teeth clattered violently as you pulled on underwear and one of Hyunsuk’s sweatshirts, big enough on you that it hung nearly to your knees. Across the front in big, bold letters was the phrase EXTROVERT UNIVERSITY. Perhaps not the most appropriate for you, but certainly accurate for Hyunsuk.

You were brushing the knots out of your wet hair when you finally remembered you had food in the oven. There was no way it had been less than 30 minutes since you got in the shower. You dropped your brush and ran, spewing profanities under your breath as you went.

You expected to see your apartment filled with smoke. Or, best case scenario, open the oven to see a pan of inedible hockey pucks. What you didn’t expect to see, however, was Hyunsuk seated at your kitchen island, slathering butter onto a cupcake.

For several moments you could only stare. Hyunsuk hadn’t noticed you yet, since his back was to you, and he was lightly bobbing his head to whatever music was playing in his airpods. You shook yourself free of your stupor and strode forward so you could lightly cuff the back of his head.

Hyunsuk jumped so hard he nearly fell off his chair. He ripped his airpods from his ears as he whirled around, his eyes comically wide. “Dude, you scared the fuck out of me.”

“I scared you?” You shot back. “You’re the one who used your emergency key to get into my apartment! And you’re eating my food.”

Hyunsuk grinned. “Be glad I did, the oven timer was going off when I walked in. I saved your ass.” You plopped into the barstool next to him, unable to hide your smile. He’s here, he’s here, he’s here. Hyunsuk’s eyes drifted to your chest—more specifically, to the writing printed across it. “Is that my sweatshirt?”

“Your observation skills are incredible. If you hadn’t noticed, I just got out of the shower. Would you prefer I be naked?”

Color flooded Hyunsuk’s cheeks, all the way to the tips of his ears. He avoided your eyes, instead watching the cupcake in his hands as he picked it apart. “I guess that’s sort of the point, isn’t it?”

You paused, dumbfounded. Surely you misheard. “Sukie… is that why you’re in my apartment? To fuck me?”

“Would you stop saying it like that?” Hyunsuk huffed, his face impossibly redder. “And… no. Not necessarily. I just don’t like how we left things earlier.”

“Me either. I’m sorry I sprung it on you like that.”

“I’m not sure there’s a better way to ask your best friend to fuck you. Taking me out to lunch was certainly a good start.”

You giggled softly. “I guess that’s true. Want to tell me why you ran off?”

The cupcake in Hyunsuk’s hands was little more than crumbs now. He didn’t answer immediately, much to your dismay, but you allowed him time to gather his thoughts as best he could. Eventually, he asked without meeting your eyes, “In all the time we’ve known each other, have I ever had a girlfriend?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Um, I think there was one. Sophomore year of high school, right?”

Hyunsuk threw you an insulted look. “Are you talking about my partner in chemistry lab? No, dude, I don’t even remember her name.”

“Oh. Then… no, no girlfriends.” Hyunsuk said nothing, he just stared at you expectantly. You looked back, hopelessly confused. “What are you… oh. Oh.” You leaned forward and he looked back at his hands again. “Hyunsuk, you’re a virgin too?”

“Don’t act so surprised.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—I don’t know, I’m confused. How can you still be a virgin? You’re, well, you look like that.” You motioned vaguely at his face, hoping that was all the explaining you needed to do.

“The same could be said about you, you know.”

Your cheeks heated. There he went again, finding a way to call you attractive without explicitly saying it.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked.

“I was flustered. You caught me off guard and you were looking at me with so much hope on your face. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

You laughed, earning yourself another dirty look. “Sukie, how could I be disappointed? I can’t exactly throw stones, you know.”

“Still.” Hyunsuk turned to look at you again, this time swiveling in his stool so you were head-on. The look in his eyes was earnest now. “Look, of course I want to have sex with you. The way you asked me earlier gave me the worst fucking boner in the history of boners. You’re just so fucking innocent. Don’t look at me like that, I don’t mean literally. I mean, you have no idea what you do to me, do you?”

Your heart felt like it would leap from your chest. “What do you mean?”

Hyunsuk stood fast enough that looking up at his face nearly gave you whiplash. You copied him in an attempt to even the field but he still towered over your head. “I get a raging hard-on because of you every other day. You’re so unfairly gorgeous that I can’t concentrate when I’m with you. Half the time I’m pretty sure you think I’m an idiot because I can’t even string two sentences together without messing up.” Hyunsuk pushed his hair away from his face, obviously agitated, but he didn’t seem to notice when the strands immediately fell over his eyes again. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. Not just that, I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you that exact same second—”

Hyunsuk cut himself off, his chest heaving. The black shirt he was wearing was tight, emphasizing the hard lines of his pecs and defined abdomen. You fought to keep your eyes on his face, though his admission had nearly knocked you flat on your ass.

“You’re…” You swallowed roughly, your eyes burning. “You’re in love with me?”

Hyunsuk gave you a tiny nod, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re in love with me, too, you know.”

He was right, you realized. You hadn’t thought much about it before—you’d purposely tried not to—but now that he said it aloud, there was no way you could deny it.

You loved Hyunsuk.

Hyunsuk loved you back.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted. “I guess I could crack a joke to ease the tension but that doesn’t feel appropriate—”

Hyunsuk moved before you could register it. One moment he was frozen, staring at you with wide eyes. The next, his mouth crushed against yours with enough force that you stumbled back a step. His broad arm snaked around your waist to steady you, simultaneously hauling you closer to his chest while his other hand gripped the roots of your hair at the base of your scalp.

You were kissing him back before you’d finished processing the feeling of his mouth on yours. His lips were unbearably soft, warm as they slid against your own. You whimpered quietly at the sensation, at the fact you were finally kissing him—something you hadn’t realized you’d been waiting your whole life for until this very moment.

Hyunsuk’s fingers gripped your ribcage, his hand large enough that his fingertips brushed the underside of your breast. His other hand, still tangled in your hair, forced your head back further, allowing him better access to your mouth.

You remembered your own hands and immediately shoved them between you so you could touch his chest. His heartbeat thundered against your palm, its rhythm mirroring your own. Further south, you were painfully aware of the hard length now straining through his jeans.

You couldn’t get enough. Your hands roved over him constantly, unable to stay in one place for longer than a second. His chest, his arms, his shoulders, his hair—you needed to touch all of him, all at once. Hyunsuk’s muscles tensed everywhere you touched and, when your fingers lightly tugged at his hair, he rewarded you with a small moan into your mouth.

His hips pressed insistently against yours, though you were certain he wasn’t aware of it. His body sought friction the same way yours did, the hot pounding between your thighs making your head spin. Hyunsuk’s hand around your waist moved to join the other one in your hair.

Gently but firmly he tugged your head back so he could look at you. You gazed at him through hooded eyes, your vision hazy with lust. Hyunsuk had an expression on his face you’d never seen before, one that would come back to visit you in wet dreams for years to come.

“Tell me you’re still sure.” He pulled the roots of your hair for emphasis, earning a surprised moan from you. Hyunsuk groaned. “Please.”

“I’m sure, I’m sure. Please, Hyunsuk.” You barely recognized your own voice. Rough and low, it belonged to someone else entirely.

He needed no more encouragement than that. Without warning Hyunsuk stooped so his shoulder pressed into your abdomen, forcing your whole body over it. You shrieked as he stood, both because of the fact you were being carried over his shoulder without warning and because of the sharp smack he gave your ass.

He didn’t need directions to your bedroom. Hyunsuk spent nights with you more often than not, though this would be the first time you’d done something in your bed with him other than sleeping.

Hyunsuk, despite the ferocity with which he’d kissed you, was gentle as he set you down on the bed. You sprawled on your back and propped yourself up on your elbows, allowing your eyes to rove over his body. He stared down at you with the expression of a man starved, but with every second that passed it turned more into insecurity. He didn’t know what to do now. Shit, neither did you.

You smiled up at him reassuringly. With as much sexiness as you could muster, you beckoned him closer with a finger. “Kiss me, Hyunsuk.”

As if under a spell, he obeyed. Hyunsuk placed one knee on the edge of the mattress and covered your body with his. He held most of his weight on his elbows, caging you in on either side. When he kissed you this time, it was softer. Sweet, like he was trying to savor you.

Your fingers hooked into his belt loops, pulling his hips flush against yours. You both released small groans at the resulting pressure. You allowed your hands to drift up his sides beneath his shirt, dragging it up his torso as you went. His skin was fever-hot and soft over hard muscle.

He sat up only long enough to yank his shirt over his head, immediately dropping down over you again. You touched as much of him as you could reach, the same fervor from earlier rising fast inside you. Everywhere your hands moved made goosebumps erupt on his skin. Hyunsuk broke the kiss, his breathing heavy. You watched him as he looked down at your chest, obviously unsure if he was allowed to touch you.

Wordlessly you sat up, forcing him to do the same. He stared at you in tense silence as you pulled his sweatshirt over your head, leaving you only in your lace underwear and bare skin. Your nipples tightened painfully under his gaze. The only word you could find to describe his expression now was hunger.

When he remained silent for nearly a full minute, you decided he needed encouragement. “Hyunsuk?”

It took him a moment to find words. “Yes?” He breathed, his voice hoarse. His eyes flicked between your face and your breasts, unable to stay on either one for longer than a second.

“If you don’t touch me in the next five seconds I think I might explode.”

He laughed lowly and palmed the impressive erection straining through his jeans. Curiosity nipped at the back of your mind, followed immediately by nerves. With painstaking slowness, he gently pushed you back down on the bed so you were on your back beneath him. He kissed you again, only once, before he began to move down your body. You squirmed as he left small love bites along the column of your throat, your shoulders, your chest. His touch was gentle, too gentle, but each time his teeth grazed your skin earned a breathy moan you couldn’t seem to control.

At last his full lips closed around your right nipple. Your entire body jerked at the unfamiliar sensation, followed immediately by a shaky groan of relief. Your fingers tangled in the roots of his hair as he sucked, his mouth unbearably hot and wet as it worked you. Your heart felt very near to thundering out of your chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured against your skin, almost to himself. His teeth tugged at your nipple for emphasis.

Just when your pleasure began to mingle with pain, he shifted his focus to your other breast. He dragged his tongue across your chest, leaving a hot trail of saliva across your skin, and brought one hand up to knead the breast he had just finished doting on.

Each moan that left your mouth seemed to encourage him further. With every passing second Hyunsuk’s confidence increased, his ministrations turning from gentle exploration to eager sucking. The bright purple marks that bloomed across your skin made you see stars.

“Hyunsuk, please,” you whimpered, both your hands now pulling lightly at his scalp. Hyunsuk wordlessly continued his leisurely journey down your body. He created constellations of kisses across your ribcage, your stomach—his tongue dipped briefly into your navel and ghosted across the hem of your panties.

You genuinely wondered if you would go insane when he looked up at you through his eyelashes, a small smile tugging at his swollen lips. “Where should I touch you, baby?”

You tried not to let your surprise at the pet name show. An unfamiliar sort of pleasure clenched in your core, drawing your attention to the wetness between your thighs. You couldn’t manage to form coherent words—instead, you allowed your legs to fall further open around him, baring your center to his face.

His eyes fell to your core and he released another shuddering breath. His long fingers hooked beneath your panties and pulled them to the side. For the first time, you felt truly exposed. Hyunsuk said nothing, the heartbeat in your clit reaching astronomical levels under his gaze.

He blew gently on your overheated core and your entire body convulsed. “Now seems like a good time to remind you,” he said roughly, “that I don’t know what I’m doing. You’ll have to tell me.”

“You’re doing great, Sukie. Just… do it, please, before I die.” Your hands in his hair tried in vain to push his face where you wanted it, but Hyunsuk was far stronger than you were. He didn’t move an inch, much to your despair. Instead, he helped you pull your panties down your legs until they were completely off, lying forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Without warning, his lips closed around your clit. You let out a sharp gasp, inadvertently yanking on his hair as you did so. Hyunsuk, to your surprise, moaned loudly at the sensation, his hips thrusting against the mattress as he sought to relieve the pressure between his legs. His forearms snaked beneath your ass, his hands large enough that they rested on top of your hipbones and locked you against the bed.

You didn’t know what feeling to focus on. His tongue circled your clit slowly, exerting just enough pressure to make you squirm. Your core spasmed with every movement, but you already knew it wouldn’t be enough.

“More, Hyunsuk, please—” your voice broke off into a moan as he obeyed. Hyunsuk’s teeth grazed your clit at the same moment his lips closed hard around it, sucking forcefully now. You sighed heavily, the breath whooshing from your chest at some of the pressure between your legs finally easing. Your back arched off the mattress and you tugged harder at his hair—you weren’t sure whether you were trying to trap him between your legs or push him away.

“You taste—” he said, his voice muffled against your core “—absolutely incredible.” Hyunsuk released your hipbone so he could position two fingers at your entrance, gathering some of your arousal onto his fingertips before timidly pushing into you. You muttered incoherent praises as his fingers curled, his middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot with ease.

You weren’t going to last. Hyunsuk rammed his fingers into you at an angle at the same time his mouth suckled your clit. You looked down at him, struggling to keep your eyes open, to find him already watching you. He growled against your center—actually growled—as he felt your walls tightening around his fingers.

“Please, harder,” you begged.

“I have to prep you, baby,” Hyunsuk scissored his fingers against your walls for emphasis, eliciting another gasp from you. “I’m big.” He didn’t say it as a brag but rather like it was a known fact, something which inclined you to believe him.

You threw your head back, lost in your pleasure. Hyunsuk’s pace didn’t falter. He continued to moan into your clit, the vibrations ricocheting up your spine and forcing you closer to your orgasm. The lewd sounds of him fingering you were broken only by his muttered praises about tasting so good or being so good for him.

“Hyunsuk, I—I’m gonna—”

“Yes, please, please cum on my tongue—”

Your hips rocked against his face, any sense of shame lost in your desperation to cum. Hyunsuk groaned against you again and it was the final push you needed to catapult off the edge. Lightning streaked through your veins, your orgasm barreling into you with such force that your thighs snapped closed around his head. He didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, instead feverishly moaning as he tried to prolong your high as long as he could.

“Oh my god.” You pressed your head and shoulders into the mattress, trying and failing to catch your breath. The echoes of your orgasm still zinged through your body long after Hyunsuk removed his fingers from you. When you finally managed to open your eyes, you nearly came again at the sight of Hyunsuk smiling up at you, his lips shining with your arousal.

He examined his glistening fingers and, like he was curious, he placed his fingers between his lips. He blinked innocently at you, smiling either at your taste or the expression on your face. Perhaps both. You groaned shakily and gently massaged his muscular shoulders. Somehow, your orgasm hadn’t calmed you down. You were more turned on than ever, actually, and you had never needed anything the way you needed his cock.

You pulled Hyunsuk up your body by the back of his neck, appreciating the startled noise he made. When his face hovered above yours you pressed an enthusiastic kiss to his lips. He tasted of chocolate cake and you, a flavor which instantly became your new favorite.

“I swear I’m going to return the favor,” you whispered into his mouth, “but if you aren’t fucking me senseless in the next thirty seconds I’m going to scream.”

Hyunsuk nodded fervently, all too excited to oblige you. You helped him out of his pants and underwear, almost too afraid to look down. As he’d warned you earlier, he was big—you could tell that much just by his height—but when his naked length brushed your thigh you seriously worried it wouldn’t fit.

“Raise your legs, baby.” Hyunsuk looped his arms under your knees and hauled them up, holding them there with his hands braced on either side of his ribcage. He kissed the tip of your nose and moved his face so you couldn’t look anywhere other than him. “Please stop me if I hurt you. We’ll go as slow as you need.”

Something in your heart fractured. Hyunsuk, your best friend. Your friend turned lover, and probably the sweetest person you’d ever met.

“I’m okay, Hyunsuk. Promise.”

He nodded, his eyes sharing lust and anxiety in equal measure. You finally allowed yourself to look down as he took his cock in a hand and pumped slowly. Any coherent thought left your head at the sight. Hyunsuk wasn’t just big, he was huge. Long and thick, his cock was flushed an angry red and looking very much like it would hurt.

He dragged the tip between your dripping folds, his precum only adding to the slickness there. Hyunsuk fitted the head into your entrance and pressed a chaste kiss to your brow. He thrusted experimentally, his cock entering you just enough that you both gasped in unison. You bit down hard on your bottom lip, unable to look away from your joined hips.

He captured your mouth in his again, probably to distract you from the pain. Even with the lubrication from both your cum and his, the stretch was enough to steal your breath. Hyunsuk kissed you like he was trying to stay grounded to earth. Low, frenzied moans rumbled in his throat on each pass.

The muscles in his shoulders bunched and flexed beneath your fingers. You gently bit down on the flesh above his collarbone to muffle the sounds coming from you, somewhere between moans and cries.

Your walls wouldn’t seem to give way. He took his time, never trying to force his cock all the way into you or increase his pace to one you couldn’t handle. Just looking at the size of his dick was intimidating enough, but having it inside you was something else entirely. He managed to get halfway in before the pain subsided enough that you began rolling your hips against his, silently begging for more.

He pulled out and, at long last, your walls relaxed as he pushed in. All at once, his cock plunged into you to the hilt, both of you gasping in surprise and pleasure.

“That’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed into your hair, his entire body shaking. “Atta girl.”

You whimpered, tears stinging the backs of your eyes. God, it hurt. He was massive and you were too tight, and holy shit you needed more, more, more.

“Move now, Hyunsuk,” you choked out. Your heels dug into his ass, feeling it flex as he timidly pulled out and thrusted back in. It still hurt, certainly enough to make you grit your teeth, but there was pleasure there now. Something in your lower stomach was already tightening like it had when he used his tongue. The urge to chase that feeling was enormous.

You bit down on his shoulder, harder this time. His hands found both of yours, lacing your fingers together and forcing them to either side of your head. His pace was still unbearably slow, his fear of hurting you blocking him from truly fucking you.

“Hyunsuk—”

You couldn’t finish your plea. His name cut off into a sharp whine as he snapped his hips into yours. He did it again, and again, and you were gone. Your moans were sometimes words, sometimes not, but they were completely wild and all for him.

The hard pace he set had your walls clamping down hard around him with every brush to your g-spot. Hyunsuk’s teeth were fastened onto his bottom lip, his eyes locked on the place your bodies collided, over and over again.

“Oh god, Hyunsuk, please, please—”

Your legs violently shook around his hips, the pain from before replaced only by pleasure now. Your walls spasmed and clenched around him, drawing deep whimpers from his throat.

“You’re so tight, baby.” His voice was unrecognizable. “You like this, hmm? You like your best friend fucking you stupid?”

You nodded, barely registering the words coming from his mouth. You were overcome by pleasure, by the feeling of his cock stretching you out and filling you so full you wouldn’t ever be able to forget it.

With skill you couldn’t understand, Hyunsuk pulled out completely and flipped you roughly onto your stomach. He hauled your ass up and closer to him, his cock easily filling you again before you could mourn the initial loss of it. You gasped, partly from shock and partly from pleasure.

Your forehead fell against your arm as he fucked you from behind, his pace fast enough now that it forced you further up onto the mattress. His body leaned over yours and he kissed any part of you his mouth could reach—your hair, your throat, your shoulders, it didn’t matter to him.

Hyunsuk was getting close now. His moans had turned breathy, his thrusts becoming more erratic as your pussy clenched hard around him. He gripped your waist hard enough to bruise, fucking you on his cock at a ruthless pace.

The hot ball in your stomach grew unbearably tight. You begged him to make you cum, to fill you with him, and his only response was to pound into you harder. When his fingers dove between your legs and found your clit again, your orgasm exploded out of you with the force of a falling star.

Your walls clamped down on his cock hard enough that he couldn’t fully thrust anymore. “Yes, baby, that’s it…” Hyunsuk sighed heavily, allowing his forehead to rest between your shoulder blades. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Your lips parted and your entire body locked, unable to produce any sort of sound under the weight of your orgasm. Hyunsuk’s cock twitched inside you, filling you with hot cum in thick bursts. For the first time, you remembered that you weren’t using protection and were extraordinarily grateful for the birth control pills you took regularly.

Your sweat-slick bodies trembled in the wake of your orgasms, his cock still nestled deep inside you as you came down. You weren’t sure how long you stayed that way, just holding each other and panting heavily. At some point Hyunsuk shifted so the two of you were spooning, but he didn’t try to remove himself from you once you were both laying comfortably.

There were tears in your eyes again. You tried to control it but a small sniffle escaped you despite your valiant effort. Hyunsuk was immediately on alert. He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced you to look at him, the look on his face a perfect combination of adoration and worry.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered, panicked. “Are you hurt? Did I… Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” You hastily wiped away the tear that had escaped one of your eyes. “Sukie, no. I’m amazing, actually. Better than amazing.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“I’m just… really happy.” You sniffled again, the truth of your words making another tear slide down your cheek.

Hyunsuk didn’t look convinced. He placed a delicate kiss between your eyes and at last removed his cock from you, both of you grunting at the sudden loss. Your pussy throbbed, a deep ache that you were certain would last for the next few days.

You admired your view of his nakedness as he padded into your connected bathroom, coming back a minute later with a washcloth in hand. You watched him through your eyelashes and let your legs fall open again. Gratification echoed through you at the way his cock twitched in response.

He knelt between your thighs and cleaned you gently. “We, um. We made a mess,” he admitted sheepishly. His throat and face flushed a deep, pretty scarlet, all the way to the tips of his ears. You grinned down at him lazily.

“Care to do it again sometime?”

He blushed further, eliciting a giggle from you. Wordlessly he stood and pulled on his underwear—something you protested to no avail—and he gave you a timid kiss before leaving the room. He returned before you could ask where he was going, holding two butter-slathered cupcakes and a bottle of water in his hand.

“I didn’t even get a chance to frost these, you heathen,” you laughed. Still, you accepted the cupcake he offered you and smiled at him warmly in thanks.

“So,” he began, his mouth stuffed, "is the internet right?”

“What do you mean?”

He motioned between you, both still naked except for his underwear and the sheet tucked around you. “Is our friendship ruined because we had sex?”

You pretended to think for a moment. You didn’t really have to ponder this question at all, but you did enjoy the frazzled look that appeared on Hyunsuk’s face. You took a bite of your cupcake and socked him playfully on the shoulder. “I definitely think it’s ruined, yeah.”

“For real?”

You leaned forward and kissed him too quickly for him to react. “I’m gonna be thinking about that tight ass all the time now.” You squealed when he pounced, caging you between his arms and nearly squishing your cupcake between your chests. You gave him a radiant smile, exhilarated.

Hyunsuk returned it, looking joyous and thoroughly spent. “I think I could get used to this.” He adjusted so that he rested casually between your legs beneath the sheet you’d covered yourself with. He took your cupcake and set it safely on your nightstand, now able to let his head rest on your chest as you held each other.

You petted his hair, just savoring the feeling of his heartbeat and his breaths that evened into sleep quicker than you’d thought possible. This boy, you thought, smiling sleepily at nothing.

Yeah. You could get used to this.

thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed, please leave a like and reblog to show your support!

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© minghaoyoudoin 2022 - all rights reserved. reposts/translations not allowed. I do not assume to know the personal lives of the idol(s) depicted in this fic, this is for entertainment purposes only!

[pomoprin]

Not killing myself anymore ✌🏼

I feel like a god right now. I was sitting in the car zoinked out of it bec i drank my coffee too fast and figured, lets loa my way thru this. Lets assume o already have my job. So while i was spacing out in the back seat i was imagining stuff id like to hear, implying i had the job and i was so good at it.

It wasnt even a serious attempt and yet i felt good about the whole thing. At that point i didnt even want the job in 3d cus i alreafy felt like i had it.

Lo amd behold, i get the job offer a few hours later right when i was about to sleep (im so thrilled i cant even sleep)

So note to self. Do it your way and whats important is that you know you have the thing ❤️

[oflgtfol]

we had a fucking. bird in the store today and so we turned the music off so we could hear it and honestly? this was one of my best shifts lately. it was 7 hours long and i was out on the floor so im physicslly exhausted but god damn it was great emotionally. something about it being so quiet really made me so relaxed and calm. who woulda thought that no longer having brain meltingly obnoxious top hits radio pop songs playing 24/7 would be such a relief

[claraoswaldfics]

Halloween Night, part 2

(Continued from part 1)

It took me a few minutes and a good chunk of breakfast before my memories had lined themselves up in an order I recognised. And let me tell you, there was one memory in particular in there I’m surprised I ever forgot. I still get a rush thinking about it now.

I’d love to tell you I was a suave and charming flirt that night, or a beguiling seductress, because I can and have been both before. Seriously, give me a little black dress or a tailored suit and I am an irresistible force. I’ve wriggled into a cocktail dress and draped myself over a piano once. What I’m trying to say is I draw confidence from the way I dress and tonight I was dressed as a sixties cartoon character. 

But that wasn’t the only reason I was nervous. There was a girl; strike that, a woman; strike that, a flame-haired goddess sat next to me, and the two of us were in a taxi back to my place. She was also dressed as a Scooby Doo character, but maybe not for much longer.

We didn’t go back to Amy’s in the end. Mine was closer anyway, and Priya, traitor that she was, had actually arranged a backup Halloween party for her to go to should ours fall apart. That left my flat empty for the night.

I wouldn’t describe myself as calculating per se, although I have been accused of it, and looking after children and travelling with the Doctor (the same activity a lot of the time) does mean I’m working out plans in my head a lot of the time. But finding out that no roommates would be home that night meant I did find myself shamelessly plotting and pursuing the little turns in conversation that might take me and her to where I wanted us to go that night. 

I picture myself as a chess player, and not just because I really fancy female chess players.

The Doctor always says it’s a matter of picturing your goal on the other side of a chasm and building a bridge as you jump. The problem is that picturing my goal very much distracts me from the general architectural effort, to put it lightly.

As a result, I don’t remember much of the taxi ride. I was too focused on not making an absolute blubbering fool out of myself to delegate much brainpower to long-term memory storage. Conversation with intent to flirt is a challenge, and not one I’ve had the time to perfect. And while I may not have been my best witty siren self, but I hadn’t stuck my foot in it, and I’d even made her laugh a few times, although not as much as she made me laugh. 

If there were times when I felt in control, it was all because of her. She was cool, she was calm, and her smile could switch from wicked to understanding in an instant.

We didn’t kiss in the taxi. I really thought we might; the tension was certainly there and I did a lot of really top-level pouts on the ride. But she seemed intent on putting me at ease first. So we talked. We talked about all manner of things – her modelling work, November 1st hangovers, her first kiss with a woman; that last one didn’t have the calming effect she was going for.

“I’d tell you about mine,” I quip, “but you were there for it.” 

“If you want, I can be there for your second, too.”

I blinked; is this really happening? 

As if to confirm, her warm hand graced my bare knee.

I leaned in.

Then the driver knocked on the divider to tell us we’d arrived, shattering a potentially magical moment. 

Amy gave me a pat on the shoulder and rolled her eyes. She left the taxi and paid the driver while I was momentarily stuck in my reverie. I had half a mind to cuss him out there and then, but in retrospect, I may have inadvertently gotten my revenge by leaving a damp sweaty patch on his back seat.

After that the night stalled for a bit. 

I had some problem with the locks that took a few minutes of fiddling with my keys in the biting cold to fix. And Amy had to pee the moment she got indoors. My train of thought went off the rails for a bit here, I’m ashamed to admit. I’d hoped she would press me against the wall and stick her tongue in me the second the door closed behind us. But instead it had gone like this:

“I might just go and freshen up a bit.”

“Maybe I’ll join you”

“Oh. If I’m honest, Clara, I just meant I needed to use the loo.”

“I thought you were talking about the shower.”

“No. Do you need the shower?”

“No.”

“Do I need a shower?”

“No, you’re very clean. And you smell very nice.”

“So the toilet is…”

“Up the stairs, yeah.”

And then I shut up for a bit.

Was this a ploy? Was she using this chance to put on makeup and make herself look nice? Was she trying to look less like she was in fancy dress? Should I be doing the same – making myself look less like Velma? Or… more like Velma? Maybe she was into it? 

Or maybe… Had she drunk too much? Was that why she was on the toilet? Or maybe the alcohol was why she was with me here in the first place? No, she’d only had two, and she’d been very articulate in the cab (although don’t ask me what about). 

Why did I say “I’ll join you”?  Obviously she meant the toilet! Come on Clara. Get your head in the game!

And stop thinking about toilets, I told myself, or else…

Amy slunk back into the room, framed herself against the doorway and leant against the wall. She’d mussed her hair up a little, and the hem of her dress was further up her thigh than she’d worn it at the club. I’d paid a lot of attention to that hem.

“So,” she asked, in a low, Scottish, purr. “where were we?” 

“Um,” I replied, one leg already shaking, “I’m really sorry, do you mind if I… y’know…”

“Oh, sorry, of course.”

“It’s just we only have the one and I had a bit to drink…”

“Yeah, yeah. Gotcha.” She cleared her throat. “Hurry back.”

Mood ruined. Again.

From atop the porcelain, I looked down at the flagging fabric around her ankles. Sorry, bi panties, tonight might not be your night. Not while fate is twanging my libido like a guitar string. Vibrating my every thought to a melody of rapture and anxiety. What I’d give for a moment of clarity!

Pulling myself together, I fixed my face for the second time in five minutes. Okay, so the tone of the night was currently a bit more bathroom farce than I’d have liked, but did that mean there was no way to salvage it? That I’d have to let the fire in my loins die out? Hell no!

In a stroke of what felt like genius, I lifted off my jumper and shed the layers beneath it, stashing both bra and top in the cupboard beneath the sink. As I pulled the jumper back over my head, I felt practically gift-wrapped.

(I then had a brief flirtation with leaving even the jumper off. I decided against it)

When I returned to the living room, breasts freer than usual, Amy had already made herself at home, adopting a very relaxed slouch across the sofa, and was waving a DVD box at me.

“We’re watching this”

I didn’t have time to object or ask before the screech of bats came from the telly. The DVD was already playing. With something approaching horror, I realised what film was in the machine. The live-action 2002 Scooby Doo movie. 

I questioned briefly exactly what percentage of this woman’s identity revolved around Hanna-Barbera productions, and how high that number would have to be to stop me fancying her.

“Oh, come oon, sit down. It’s a laff.” Amy propped herself up by her elbows. “Look, I know I’ve been winding you up a little, making you nervous, but…”

“I’m not nervous.” I spluttered. 

“It’s okay to be…”

“I’ve never been nervous”.

 “Right. Okay. Good.” I got the impression she’d seen through my act. “So why don’t you sit down and we can watch the film and not be nervous together?”

“Yeah, I can do that.” I nodded, and started walking.

“If you like, we can even not be nervous on the same couch.”

“Okay, yeah.” And again, after a pause “yeah.”

I sat down on the other side of the couch. Not presuming to touch her but not far enough away to make it look like I was distancing myself from her. I pulled down the hem of my skirt, then took it back in a bit, to be flirty, then took it back in again. I wondered if I was overthinking this, and then how many times I’d already asked that tonight. It was a lot, but did that in and of itself qualify as overthinking? 

Had Amy seen all of that? I gave her my best “everything is fine, I’m relaxed” smile, and she smiled back. “Sure you are,” she seemed to say.

We made a reasonable dent in the movie that night. My fears that Amy might turn out to be a rabid Scooby-Doo superfan were assuaged quite early on, as she kept asking questions over the top of it. Small talk like that did set me at ease a little more. Yes, that actress was in ER. No, the CGI hadn’t aged terribly well. I don’t know why Mr Bean is here either. That sort of thing. It helped that I happened to know a lot of trivia about films from around this time. Young Clara had spent a lot of time on trivia quizzes after she’d learned the electric joy that came with being right all the time. And right now that feeling of moderate control was really helping to steady the boat.

“Wine?”

Amy was very receptive to the idea. Thankfully, Priya had a bottle of red in her half of the kitchen (it was a whole political situation, don’t ask) that I was very happy to leave an IOU for. As shaky as my hands were, I could still easily uncork a bottle, and I managed to carry both glasses in without spilling a drop. We sat, more snuggled up than last time, and raised our glasses “to Scooby Doo!” Everything was going to plan.

“Do you think Shaggy says Zoinks when he orgasms?”

I spat out my wine.

“What??”

“He says it every time he’s even slightly scared. You expect me to believe he doesn’t say it…” and then her voice went spicy and French “...in flagrante?”

“Yes, but scared and horny aren’t the same thing?”

“Are they not, Clara Oswald?” 

She put down her wine glass and centred me in her double-barrelled stare. I was suddenly very aware of her height. Parts of me began to boil under her gaze. She was right. Oh god was she right.

“So tell me, what does Velma say, in the heat of it all, when the moment comes?” She drawled, darkly.

All of a sudden, there were no words in my brain.

A switch had been flipped. Amy’s hand was on my knee. More accurately, the very tips of her fingers were, and they were delicately making their way upwards. I gulped as they traced their way beyond my knee-highs and onto my flesh. She angled her approach so that as her wrist brushed the hem of my skirt, her palm was gracing my inner thigh. And she showed no sign of stopping.

I responded in kind, wrapping my right hand around the inside of her left knee, our arms crossing each other, mine over hers. If I moved my hand further in, so would she. The sensation of her cotton tights on my skin thrilled me, the fabric barely concealing her warmth beneath it.

“Mmmmmm.” The sound of her voice was much closer to my ear than I expected. As I turned my face, hers was already there. “Not so nervous now, are you?”

The warmth of her breath on my lips was too much for me to take. I leaned in, eyes closed, and kissed her. Her hand paused on my thigh, as if contemplating how to proceed, mere centimetres away from my panties. I couldn’t see her reaction, but I pictured her blinking in surprise, before feeling her press right back into my face. She was returning my kiss with abandon.

Beneath my skirt, I could feel the squeeze of Amy’s hand on my thigh and I broke the kiss to gasp. I swear I felt the curl of Amy’s lips into a smile as we parted.

“Now that’s not fair. I was going to kiss you first.”

“Well you’ve got to be faster next time.”

“Faster, yeah?” She beamed.

With that she swung her leg over and straddled my right thigh. Her hands fastened onto both sides of my face as we once again locked mouths. Every part of me was clamped by her warm embrace. It felt like returning home after a long, cold night. My hands quickly found work snaking through her hair, her roots bunching in the gaps between my fingers; my palm graced her cheek on her left, and my other hand soothed its way up the back of her neck, exerting a small pressure to keep her lips on mine.

Amy pressed forward, shifting me sideways on the sofa. Her leg had moved up my thigh and was rubbing right up against my mound. The heat from it radiated up and through me, stirring every sinew like mulled wine. It was like I had a second, lower heart, thumping down below, pulsing want and need through my body. 

I moved my hips up so she could feel like this too. The chub of my thigh encountered some elastic resistance from her tights, but I was soon met by a warm damp patch as I made contact. She responded like a vice to that and was soon rolling her hips up against me. I tensed my wide but muscular thigh in a rhythm with her and soon we were both just as wet as each other. And with every movement, our cores came closer and closer together, the hems of our skirts forced back above the waistline. 

All the while I was thinking, I’m doing it! There’s a girl on me and she wants me as badly as I want her! And now our boobs are touching! Oh my stars!

Almost as one, our hands pawed at each other’s backs and pulled our midriffs into contact. While Amy’s hands pressed down, hoping to circumnavigate under my jumper, mine found their way upwards, having located the base of a zipper on the back of her dress, and chasing the potential that offered all the way up.

As my fingers gently tugged at the plastic zip slider at the base of her neck, she pulled her face away, but no more than an inch. A string of saliva still connected our lips. I could still feel her heartbeat on every part of us that touched.

“Don’t touch that zipper.” She said, her voice a mix of steel and cheek. “Not yet. Not while I’m still having my fun.”

I had visions, let me tell you, of biblical, pornographic revelations on that couch. Desperate visions of Amy taking me right there and then, her flinging me back down onto the cushions and spreading my legs with her glorious caber-throwing arms, of her diving in and ripping my panties off with her teeth, eating me out with my jumper and skirt still on, her glorious mane clamped between my thigh highs.

The thought alone could have got me off.

But then I heard keys in the door. My eyes sprang open. My bastard Judas roommate was back. Damn you, Priya!

But Amy was on the case. “Bedroom?” She asked.

“Upstairs,” I replied.

I shooed her through the hall and up the staircase as fast as I could. When I had opened my eyes for that split second, Amy’s eyes had been right in front of me, focused and dilated. No doubt mine were the same. I wasn’t going to let that slip through my fingers. Though the stairs were nearby, there was no way to get up them without going past the front door, and sure enough.

“Who’s this, Clara?” Priya, always so smug.

“Shut up,” I muttered, still hurrying Amy upstairs.

I could hear the giddy smile on her face as she shouted up the stairs.

“Where are you off to with your friend, Clara?”

“Shut up!”

I could tell Amy was stifling a giggle. Probably tempted to turn around and introduce herself, maybe give Priya a little wave. I’m sure they’d have got on like a house on fire, but the making friends part of my brain wasn’t in control at that time.

“I’m so sorry about my roommate.” I said, shepherding Amy through the first door on the right. “She’s cool, I promise, but I don’t want to spoil the mood and...”

Amy wasted no time. As I turned to close the door after us, Amy was behind me, pressing me into the door, her hands snaking their way around my waist and her words slithering into my ear.

“Oh Clara.” She exhaled, before giving me two quick pecks on the neck. “I think I’ve teased you long enough tonight, don’t you?”

With that, her hands went to work. Before I could believe it, her left hand was up my jumper, and her right was beneath the waistband of my skirt. I gasped as the tip of her middle finger made its first contact with the absolutely drenched fabric of my underwear, and as her left hand found its way to my uncupped breast she let out an “mmmmmmm” of admiration.

“You sexy thing” she drawled, part of a honey trap before grabbing my breast in a tight squeeze.

I squealed.

She continued her conquest of my body. Kissing my neck. Circling my nipples. Massaging me over my panties. I was at her mercy and all the better for it. I pressed myself back into her, hoping to feel her warmth from every angle. I could feel her breasts against my back and her core against my arse, and she responded in kind, pulling me in and strapping me against her with her arms.

“Amy” I squeaked.

“Clara” she moaned.

She gave my nipple a cheeky twist and I momentarily lost all feeling in my legs. I stumbled backwards, but she effortlessly supported my weight against her. It barely slowed her down. The elastic of my panties thrummed over her fingernail as she explored further down. She kept playing my body like a cello and I was more than happy to sound out her music.

When I next opened my eyes, there was a mirror in front of me. I must have stumbled back further than I thought. But what I saw in it- for a second it was like a different person.

The woman in the mirror locked eyes with me. Her hair a mess, her breathing haggard and primal, escaping between a sigh and a whine. Her lover’s hands under her garments created a pale diamond of flesh, its north exposing her shivering ribcage and its south teasing the peak of her pubic mound, all of it glistening with sweat. Over her shoulder, a curtain of sleek red hair, as a blood red mouth devoured her neck. With every desperate breath, the woman’s body shook, positively writhing in ecstasy. 

And her eyes…

Pupils dilated, between rapture and fear, gazing into the sublime, on the crest of a revelation.

The woman is me.

The woman on her neck is my lover.

And I am so irrevocably, irrepressibly, incandescently gay.

There’s a wisp of cold air on my throat and I notice that Amy has moved, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. She has a sly purse to her lips; she knows the effect her fingers are having on me and has no intention to stop. But I can see I’m affecting her too. I can sense it in the redness of her face, the pressure between her fingers and the synchronous rhythms of our hips. 

“Liking what you see, eh, Velma?” She teased.

“Oh shut up”

I’m going to claim it was the breathlessness in her voice rather than the name Velma that set me off, but whatever the reason, every part of my body switched into overdrive. Lust controlled me bodily. Gripping the back of her skull, threads of hairs through my fingers, I pushed her open mouth onto mine and slid my tongue straight in. 

For a split second, her hand on my clit was shocked out of its rhythm, but I wasn’t about to allow that. Something was building under my skirt and I was going to usher it out. My palm gripped the back of her hand and steered her back into tempo. My fingers, like hers, were instantly sodden and they glided frictionless back and forth over me. Faster… Harder… Building up. Building up...

Oh God I was so close…

“Amy” I moaned into her mouth, not for a second letting up on our kiss. “Amy, Amy, mmmmmmm, fuck, Amy.”

Her voice cut through everything, clear as day.

“Cum for me, Clara”

And I did. Oh how I did.

The ball of passion inside me erupted, rolling up my body at a spine-snappingly fast pace. It shot through to the ends of my fingers and the tips of my toes, before contracting my whole body in convulsions. I lost control of the hand on my clit, but Amy’s soldiered on, her fingers compelling waves and waves of pleasure out of me.

I would have shrieked her name, if I could think at all in those moments, but all that escaped my mouth were guttural grunts, rising, rising, rising in volume. For minutes, for hours - I’d never felt anything this intense in my life. It was like I was pure electricity, nothing but sensation, and it was you, Amy, you that did this.

My vision went white.

“Jinkies”

And then I slumped onto her like a ragdoll. 

End of part 2.

[frostsinth]

The Bard’s Bounty - Pt. 6

Part 1|2|3|4|5

Zoinks, sorry for the delay folks. I hadn’t written enough yet to post on schedule, then when I did finally get around to finishing, it was very late, so I thought I would wait until today to post to be sure people see it.

Decided how this will end! Not sure how many parts left, but I’m wrapping it up. I like the idea of 10 parts, so probably pretty close to that. ENJOY! Likes and reblogs are always fantastic, but comments make my day!

The next time I woke, I felt my heart racing in my chest. As if I had just spent the evening running through the forest rather than sleeping on a cold stone floor. But despite that, my breath was calm and my body still. I shifted slightly, fully expecting to be horribly sore and more than a little tender from everything that had happened the previous day.

To my surprise, I was neither sore nor in much pain at all. The general expected pain from my side of course; a tingling ache that threatened to turn into a more searing hurt if I moved too much. But I felt as if I had slept in a soft feather bed rather than on the ground in a shallow cave.

The sound of soft dripping water filled my ears, and I couldn’t suppress a yawn as I slowly came into the waking world. I stretched a little more, and blinked the heaviness from my eyes. I was groggy, and slower than usual. I knew this, but somehow did not feel quite so rushed to rise.

The sun must have set; it was dark save for the golden flickering light from a soft fire. The large pile of ash growing under the branches in the center suggested it had been burning for a long time. Its warmth felt nice on my face as I turned towards it.

I realized then that it wasn’t just the fire that was warm. There was a weight and a warmth over my middle, and behind my shoulders at my back. It took me another moment to realize I was not laying on the ground as I last remembered being.

Starting, I sat up too quickly, then gasped sharply at the torturous stabbing pain in my side. I heard a soft grunt from behind me, and the warm body I was leaning against shifted.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Balam removed his arm from around my waist, reaching up to rub at a sleepy face. “Careful, yeah? Though it seems your fever has broken-”

I clutched my side, turning and looking at the orc through a grimace. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He cocked one bushy eyebrow down at me. “I was sleeping.”

I looked up at him, then around, then down at myself. I felt my face burning hot as I realized I had been laying curled up against him. I grunted stubbornly, and pulled myself further away. I thought about trying to stand, but my head spun even with the minimal movement, so I quickly dismissed the idea. I was prideful, not stupid.

“Do you often take advantage of unconscious, injured women?” I snapped angrily instead, putting one hand to my forehead in a pretense of brushing my hair away. But mostly to hide my scarlet cheeks.

He laughed, a dark sound that was more bitter than amused. “You were restless on the stone. Didn’t seem to be sleeping well at all.”

“So that gives you the right to-”

“I did nothing.” He cut me off sharply, and I looked at him in surprise. His irritation melted a little, and his thick lips twitched into a smirk. “Besides, you didn’t seem to mind last night.”

I felt the heat reaching my ears, and I opened and closed my mouth a few times uselessly. I settled for an angry snort, sensing his careful ironic choice of words. Turning to the side, I shifted again, wincing a little in pain.

“Gods above, you’re almost not worth the gold.”

Another chuckle, though this one was a little lighter in nature. “Yeah? Changing your mind about letting me go, are you?”

I shot him an angry look, my lips pursed. “Don’t make me use the enchantment on you, you smug bastard.”

He held up his palms, still smirking a little. “Alright, suit yourself. Just leave my face off the ground, eh?” His grin grew a little, and he lifted his hand up to his chin, winking at me. “The ladies like it just the way it is.”

I groaned, rolling my eyes. “I wish I could use it to shut your damn mouth.”

Balam simply shrugged his shoulders. His huge, bare shoulders. I felt my eyes lingering on them briefly, but quickly pushed the intruding thoughts from my mind.

You have a job to do, I reminded myself, He’s just goods to be delivered. Just a pay day. I tried to stifle the surge with emotions that came with the reminder. I knew the routine. Had done it a hundred times before. Why should this bounty be any different?

“What would you do with it?”

I blinked at him a few times before my mind realized he had spoken. “Do with what?” I grumbled, rubbing at my arm.

He wasn’t looking at me, instead staring deep into the crackling flames. He pulled a long branch from a pile drying nearby, and poked at the coals.

“With the gold. What are you going to spend it on?”

I laughed, a little incredulously. “Does it matter? What do you care?”

He shrugged again, and a strange look crossed his big brown eyes. I couldn’t place it, but it made me feel a strange lingering guilt I hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since my first bounty.

“Just wondering what my freedom is being traded for,” That lopsided grin slipped across his face, “Perhaps knowing will make my fate a bit easier to swallow, eh?”

“Tch.” I scoffed, leaning back against the rock. 

It was cool on my skin, and I shivered a little involuntarily. I couldn’t help but remember the blissfulness with which I had originally woken. I glanced at Balam out of the corner of my eye. I could almost feel his firm, warm skin again. I swallowed the memory stubbornly.

“You don’t think I deserve that much?” He grunted, then shook his great head. 

The thick dreads had come loose from their binding in the back, and fell about his face like black tentacles. I turned away, following his own gaze to stare into the fire. It was better not to make a connection, I reminded myself again. Better not to get attached. 

“You said you’d be set for a while,” He continued, and I realized with mild irritation he wasn’t going to let it go, “So does that mean I’m your last hunt?”

I hesitated, pursing my lips into a tight line. Gods it was hard to ignore him. I fought hard against the urge to look at him out of the corner of my eye. Instead glaring into the fire. Listening to it snap and crackle.

“Maybe you’ll become a farmer,” He mused, then chuckled, shaking his head again, “Nah, I can’t imagine you up to your elbows in pig shit.”

“Oh would you just shut up??” I snapped, reaching up to push my hair out of my face.

Balam’s grin was evident in his voice. “Not likely. Though I might for a bit if you tell me.”

I sighed angrily, then winced and brought my hand to my side. The wound was tender, but not hot. I rubbed its edges gently, thinking. I thought I noticed him twitch slightly, his eyes flicking over to me. But perhaps it was my imagination. Or the firelight playing with the shadows.

“I’d use it to get out.” I grumbled begrudgingly.

“Out?” He echoed, “Out of what?”

I didn’t answer, staring into the fire. What did he know? And why should I tell him anything? He would never understand. He would never accept the choices I had to make. Never see that often, they weren’t real choices at all. I wrapped my arms around myself and let my head fall back.

“Look, I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to anyone, ok?” I said, staring up at the cave ceiling. “I just want to finish this job and get paid. So shut up, and stop making it-”

I cut myself off, tightening my lips again. But he wasn’t about to let that slip go.

“Stop making it what?” He growled, “Stop making it real? Stop making it so hard?” The orc scoffed, tossing his stick into the fire, “Well, apologies for making you realize I’m not just some… cattle you’re picking up for market.”

“You’re the one with a bounty.” I reminded him bitterly. “I didn’t make you a wanted criminal. I didn’t piss anyone off so much they were willing to pay a fortune for your hide. I’m just doing my job.”

“Pardon me for thinking you might not be such a frigid bitch.” He shot back.

I laughed, trying to make it sound harsh and uncaring. Trying to make myself feel that way too. It was better that way. To feel nothing.

“What ever made you think otherwise, orc?”

Now it was his turn to fall silent. But it wasn’t quite the blessing I had thought it would be. Instead, it burned painfully in my ears. I almost shook, and more from just the cold. I bit my tongue, fighting the urge to fill the silence with my own voice.

After a long stretch he began to hum softly to himself. It was so quiet, at first I didn’t hear it. When I did, I still couldn’t quite make out the melody. But it seemed oddly familiar…. Suddenly, my blood ran cold, and I froze in place.

“...Where did you hear that song?”

My voice was thin, and I wasn’t sure he heard me. He kept humming softly, the same melody. In his deep, smokey tones. The only song I knew, the only song I had ever bothered to learn. If someone sang it over my headstone, I would roll over in my grave.

I sat up, and shoved him as hard as I could with one hand. “Answer me. Where did you hear that song?” I demanded.

He barely flinched at my touch, but he did stop humming. “Where do you think I did?” He finally replied.

I let the silence stretch, listening to the soft dripping of water off the leaves outside. It had stopped raining, but only very recently. I looked out the entrance to the shallow cave, watching the light of the moon slowly grow into a silvery splash over the wet leaves as the clouds overhead parted. Turning his question over in my head in a panic.

My hands shook, and I clasped them in my lap to hide it. I felt raw. Vulnerable. As if he had stripped me bare before him. I stared down at my cold fingers, struggling in the wave of emotions and memories that flooded me. Threatening to drown me if I kept them buried in my chest. I couldn’t seem to push them down this time.

“...I have a debt...” My voice felt thin and weak like paper, and I didn’t look at him when I spoke. “And I need to pay it off… Then I can get out.”

“A debt for what?” 

His voice was equally soft, but it stung me, and I felt my emotions welling behind my eyes again. I wiped at my face with the back of my hand, swallowing stubbornly.

“I don’t know you.” I hissed softly, trying to turn my voice bitter. Even to my own ears though it sounded sad. “Why should I tell you anything? Why does it matter?”

He didn’t say anything. But suddenly I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder. His large fingers sliding over my cool skin. I shook my head, jerking as if to pull away. But he kept his grip firm. Then he shifted, and came closer, until I could feel the heat of him surrounding me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Alright, alright,” He said softly, retracting his hand. But I could still feel his body right next to mine. “...I’m sorry, you’re right. I don’t know you…” He paused, then sighed quietly, “But sometimes that makes it easier, no? After all, in just a day or two, you don’t ever have to see me again.”

I shook my head again, squaring my shoulders and tightening my jaw. I even managed to shoot him an icy look out of the corner of my eye. But his face… his expression was so soft, so warm; I felt my own falter for a moment.

“I ran away from my clan,” He told me, reaching up his meaty hand to rub the back of his neck, “Because I couldn’t bear to tell my father I didn’t want to be a warrior like him. I couldn’t bear disappointing him.” He shrugged slightly, “I wanted to travel, see exotic places, and learn songs, maybe even sing them myself.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why are you telling me this?”

He sighed again, shaking his head a little. “Consider this my confessional.”

“Confessional?”

A nod. “After you turn me in… well, there won’t be anyone to hear my story-”

“You think I want to?” I snapped, again a little harsher than I intended.

But he didn’t flinch. Just gave that lopsided grin of his. “I don’t really care.”

I scoffed as loud as I could, rubbing at my arms. I wasn’t sure what to say to that. So I said nothing, and let him speak.

“I was 13 when I left. Basically a man by Tlaloc standards,” He continued, leaning on one leg with the other propped up before him, “And I thought I knew what I wanted. Thought I had it all figured out. Didn’t manage to get very far. Still haven’t. My clan was only a few days ride from here when I left.” He rested his wrist on his bent knee, seeming to think it over. “I spent the next few years just trying to earn a little gold so I could travel. Learned some songs. Stole a lute. Tried to ply my trade to any who would listen.” His big brown eyes seemed to stare off into space, and I found myself without the heart to interrupt him again. “Most thought it was a joke. If they paid me, it was for the comedic relief.” A slight shrug with one shoulder. “I guess I gave up at that point. Figured; if that’s how they see me, that’s just how I’ll be. So I began to be just what they thought I was… a ridiculous orc who couldn’t fight so he became a bard.”

I listened quietly, wringing my hands in my lap. I had to say, this was a first. I had never heard a life story before; not from one of my bounties at least. Certainly, I had heard confessionals, but not like this. I felt a strange tension building in my own body, as the struggle between my empathy and my emotional distancing raged. But I continued to hold my tongue. Decided it didn’t hurt to hear his story. I listened, but warily. Wary that it was some ploy. Some attempt to make me feel sorry for him. And I would not. I refused. I had come too far to give up now.

“I told myself I liked the attention. I watched the other bards and did as they did. Flirted, drank. Got into petty brawls. Serenaded beautiful women, even a few men.” A soft chuckle now, and he wiped one finger at his eye. “Gods, the stories I could tell you… But you know, I was never really happy. If I ever let myself slow down for a moment… Even just for a breath; it would all come flooding back. Everything I had given up. My home, my family. My dream. Just because things were… not what I expected…” When he laughed now, it was sad, and his eyes dropped down. “I think if I could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self to keep fighting. To tell all the critics to go fuck themselves. Not to wait to have enough coin; just start walking! Everything would work out in the end if I just… started walking…”

He sighed, leaning back against the stone wall and intertwining his fingers behind his head. His chest muscles flexed in the firelight, but I found my eyes wandering to his face. His jaw was squared, his lips in a thin line around his big tusks. He gave a huge shrug, the motion moving his whole torso.

“That’s my confessional. The quick version of it, anyway.” I thought I saw the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. “It’s almost a relief to get it off my chest. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone the story before. No one bothered to ask either.” The big brown eyes became a little sad. “Everyone I ever knew took one look at me and thought they knew everything they needed to know… ”

I wondered if I had done the same thing. I wracked my brain, trying to think back to the first night I had seen Balam. I remembered knowing who he was the instant he had walked in; there was no mistaking his presence. But… What had I thought to myself really when I saw the self proclaimed bard? I couldn’t recall.

Again, silence settled around us like a heavy blanket. Instead of warmth, however, I felt cold. And stifled, as if the air was too thin. A few strings twanged in my heart, and I internally kicked at myself. Struggling to simply ignore his story. It didn’t matter, I told myself. Let him say what he wanted. He was right; he’d be out of my life in a few days anyway.

By that reasoning though… what did it matter then what I told him?

“My parents sold me to the guild,” I flattened my voice, removing myself from my own story to make it easier to tell, “To pay off the debt they owed. Then it became mine. And I’ve been working to pay it off ever since.” I dropped my eyes to my feet, shuffling them quietly.

“...How old were you?” He asked softly.

I didn’t answer for a moment. I found I was surprised. I didn’t expect him to care. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had. Or if anyone had even bothered to ask why I did what I did. I picked at the old wound, and felt the familiar emptiness welling up in my core.

“I was about 5, I think…”

“Damn… “ He breathed, “That… That’s young.”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything else. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and resting my chin on top. I stared into the flickering fire, my brow furrowed. Ignoring the pain in my side. I almost appreciated it, in that moment. It felt like an anchor. I reminder that I was alive.

He shifted quietly, and cleared his throat a little. “What… what would have wanted to do? If you weren’t a bounty hunter?”

I shrugged. “I never really thought about it.”

“Oh come on. Surely you had a dream. When you were little.”

I blinked slowly, swallowing hard. “When I was little, the only dream I had-” I stopped myself, and shook my head, clearing my own throat. “It doesn’t matter. I was a kid. And dreaming gets you nowhere.”

“Iara-”

“It’s not important. Just… drop it, ok?”

He hesitated, and I heard him moving again. Felt his heat beside me.

“... I know you are… maybe not everything you appear to be…” He started, his voice quiet. I turned my head slightly, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. “And I’m sorry, if I made the same mistake everyone makes when they look at me.”

I shrugged again, squeezing my knees tighter to keep from shaking, ignoring the pain it brought to my side. “I’m probably exactly what you think I am.”

“No.” He said firmly, sounding more convinced. “You’re not. I was wrong.”

I turned to more fully consider him, and found his big brown eyes waiting. Watching me. Full of such sincerity, such honesty. Such a rareness in this world. It almost hurt to see it. As I watched, his face seemed to dissolve before my eyes. I saw him glance down at my lips, and felt a slight heat rise to my cheeks. I couldn’t help sneaking a quick peek at his own, and when I looked back up, I could see the smile in his eyes.

Gradually, he moved closer, leaning forward. He kept my gaze trapped in his. Seemed to wait for me to object, or to stop him. At first, I flinched. I started to pull back. But something stopped me. Perhaps it was the way my heart was pounding like a caged bird in my chest. Or the sound of my blood rushing in my ears. Perhaps it was the heat that came off his body in waves, or the sweet musky scent of him that filled my nostrils.

I didn’t pull away. I let him lean in, each slow movement asking my permission before proceeding to the next. And I gave it. I held his gaze, and didn’t balk when his big hand slowly reached up and cupped my cheek. I tilted my head back as he leaned in over me.

When his lips pressed against mine, I felt a strange elation in my chest. Not like anything I had ever quite felt before. It was tender, and gentle. And I felt tears welling in my eyes. Because no one had ever treated me so carefully before. Like I was something precious and delicate. Something to be treasured.

I melted into him, and he scooped me gently into his arms. Settling me into his lap as he kissed me. It felt strangely familiar, and I reached up, resting my hand on his big jaw. Feeling the warmth of his smooth skin beneath my palm.

Suddenly he jerked back, and his eyes widened slightly. I flinched, surprised, looking up at him in confusion. And maybe a little fluttery panic.

“Hey... Um… are you.. Ah,” He stammered and stuttered, and I thought his cheeks flushed a shade darker, “The ah, poison… I’m not going to pass out again… Am I?”

I stared at him for a moment. The tension burst like an air bubble on the surface of a glass of wine. And I began to laugh. My face split into a huge smile, and I laughed so hard I gasped in pain and clutched at my side.

“Shit, sorry,” He mumbled, adjusting me in his lap slightly.

I shook my head, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye. “No.. No I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.” Despite that, I couldn’t help but chuckle again. “You’re safe. The poison is harmless after it’s exposed to air for a few hours… I haven’t reapplied any.”

 “Oh, well, that’s good.” His big, lopsided grin filled his face. “Because I’d really like to kiss you again.”

I laughed again, and realized I couldn’t remember the last time I had. Not like this. Not a real laugh that filled me with such rippling joy.

His grin grew. “I like your laugh.”

I tried to turn my head away, feeling my cheeks flush. But his hand against my cheek turned me back delicately. And he kissed me again. I brushed his hair back with my hand, and wrapped it slowly around him. His hand rubbed my back lightly, his other giving my thigh a tender squeeze.

I don’t know how much time passed as we moved as one, our lips interlocked. Our breath and hearts as one. He never pushed for more, never demanded anything. And he moved so tenderly the whole time. I relished the sensation, and didn’t want it to stop.

But finally, he pulled back a little. Breaking our lips apart. His deep sigh splashed against my cheeks, and he bent down to rest his forehead against mine. 

“You should get some more rest,” He told me softly, “You’re still healing.”

I closed my eyes, staying there for a time. Breathing in the same air as him. Then I shifted, rolling down and resting my head in the crook of his shoulder. He wrapped his arms all the way around me, creating my own private cocoon. I drew in a slow, deep breath, enjoying his musky scent. Wishing I could just live in it.

“....A family.”

“Hmm?”

I swallowed nervously, and traced a hand on his bare chest. “When I was little. All I ever dreamed about was having a family again.”

I felt his arms tighten slightly around me, then his hand reached up and stroked my hair gently. I closed my eyes again, letting one fat tear run down my cheek.

“You were supposed to be the last one.” I confessed quietly. “Your bounty would pay off the last of my parent’s debt. And I would be free.”

He didn’t answer for a minute, but I felt his hand in my hair hesitate, ever so slightly. Then he gave me another gentle squeeze.

“Get some rest.” He breathed in my ear, “I’ll keep you safe.”

...

UPDATE: Part Seven HERE

[iscariotsdeputy]

Staci Pratt’s Lines From The FC5 Script

THE SCRIPT IS FOUND HERE ON THIS POST GIVE THAT POST THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES

now to our regular scheduled staci content under the read more!

[Surprise reactions, yes I’m naming these]

Good Lord! 

What the- 

Jesus! 

God almighty! 

Christ almighty! 

Whoa!

What was that? 

I heard something. 

You hear that? 

What? 

What's that?

[FUN BATTLE CRIES]

Enough! 

No more! 

I'm done with this!

Goin' in! 

Cover me! 

You're dead! 

You're mine! 

Kill them! Let them die for the Father!   (ZOINKS)

Kill them all! They don't deserve to live! 

The weak must be culled! 

We've got this! 

Mercy is for the weak! 

Show them no weakness! 

Cull the herd! 

You don't deserve to live! 

You'll pay! You're all gonna pay! 

You're all gonna die! 

You don't deserve to live!

Is that it? 

You started it! 

I didn't want this! 

We don't forgive unbelievers! 

This didn't have to happen! 

[That feel when the grenades hit]

Move, move, move! 

Move, go! 

Grenade! 

Grenade, move! 

[This boy is on fire!]

Oh God, the fire's gettin' bigger! 

Fire's growing! 

The fire! It's out of control!  

Good Lord that fire's getting big! 

The fire's spreading!

[Lad on the run]

Moving, cover me! 

Runnin' for it! 

Hey, cover me! 

Movin' positions! 

Gonna try to get higher up. 

Gonna climb higher. 

Cover me, I'm heading down. 

Moving down, cover me! 

For sure! 

Better go fast! 

Got it! 

Okay! 

Got ya!

[When he wants to run but he’s like me trying not to infodump: suppressed]

I can't move! 

They've got me pinned! 

I'm pinned down! 

I'm taking fire over here! 

They've got me pinned down! 

[Staci hearing threats]

Jesus! Where was that?! Damn!

Lord! Jesus, what was that? What the hell! 

[Staci underfire]

Damn! 

Dammit, dammit! 

Lord Jesus Christ! 

This is bad!

God, no!

Ah shit! 

[Staci when he sees them enemies]

Look, over there! 

Over there! 

There they are! 

There! I see them! 

Gonna do some Cullin'...      (staci excuse me?)

Don't move! 

Dammit, watch out! 

Hey, watch out! 

[Wounded Staci]

Ah. 

Ow. 

Ah! 

God! 

Jesus! 

I'm hit! 

They shot me! 

They got me!

[HE’S RELOADIN’]

Reloading! 

I'm reloading! 

Reloading! Cover me! 

Gotta reload!

[SALUTATIONS FELLOW NORMAL NOT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE]

Hey. 

Hi there.

What's up. 

Hey, man. 

Hey sister. 

Hey there.

Hey!

Hey Brother.

Brother, how are you?

Miss. Nice to see you. 

Hey there Miss. 

[Sights on Staci, a sniper with the same values as me]

Sniper! 

Sniper's got me in his sights! 

Got a sniper on me! 

[Funky Fresh Idle Filler]

Gotta look after your gear, keep it clean. Out here your weapon is your life. 

The Father keeps all the best stuff for his Chosen. Leaves us the scraps. 

No one is going to take anything from me again. Ever.

The night hides many sins. 

It gets cold at night. 

Even in the dark, they can see ya. 

[Sneeze] [Clear Throat] [Sigh]

[Happy sigh. Like the Blue Jays won another world series recently.] (I shit you not this is how it’s in the script)

I'm not weak. I'm not weak. 

They're gonna pay. 

No mercy. Show no mercy. 

Some say the sun is life. In the cages it brings only death. 

I wasn't sure I'd ever see the sun again. 

[Deep breath] Just smell that fresh air. 

Jacob took me on one of his hunts, only we weren't huntin' any animals. A couple of prisoners had escaped... they didn't get far. I had to help round up the wolves.. you know... to be made into Judges. They were so scared... so scared. I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin them. As I was cutting them open they changed... it wasn't deer. I... I don't think it was a dream.

Good idea to be ready for anythin'. From what I saw Eden's Gate isn't foolin' around.

I was locked down in Jacob's Gate for days. I can't imagine living down there for years. 

Jacob had one thing right. Things are only goin' to get worse and you gotta be ready for it.

[Friendly Fire]

Watch it!

We're on the same side! 

Watch where you point that! 

Do you mind? 

Don't test me!

You trying to kill me?! 

You tryin' to make me angry? 

I wouldn't do that, if I were you.

You doing that on purpose? 

Trying to get me killed?! 

Watch it! 

Be more careful! 

Careful! 

Hey! Watch it!

[DON’T LET HIM USE THE MOUNTED GUN]

Goin' for the machine gun! 

Gonna take the machine gun! 

Cover me I'm going for the machine gun! 

I'm taking the machine gun, cover me! 

Leave the machine gun to me!

[If a friend is down I think, or maybe you, who knows?]

Good lord! 

Jesus! 

God, no! 

Father save us! 

[SO IF STACI KILLS YOU???]

Now who's weak? 

I'm sorry. I really am. 

[Staci death pleas]

Father! Forgive me! 

Oh God oh God! 

[Filler after Staci kills someone AKA post-combat]

Culling the herd. It's just culling the herd. 

Did you see that Jacob? Who's weak now? 

For sure. 

You okay over there? 

You can't let it get to you. 

It.. It'll be okay.  (i love him,,,,,,,,,,)

[Battle Filler!]

They deserve what they get! 

Show no weakness! 

Kill them all! 

Death is too good for them! 

[Reviving]

Going to help! I got 'em! I'll get 'em! I got this! 

Hold on, I got you! Be right there! Don't die on me! 

[You Revive Him! Gold Star!]

It just wasn't my time. Thanks, friend. 

You are a God-send. Thank you. 

You're like my guardian angel. 

[Battle Taunts]

Whatta you gonna do? What, having trouble standing? What's wrong? How do you like it? 

[Staci asking for help]

Oh God! Save me, please!

Oh god, it hurts! Make it stop!

Please, Father. No more!

[If you aim your gun at Stace oh n o]

You don't want to test me.

That's enough.

You wanna see what happens? 

You're not gonna like what comes next... 

You think that scares me after what I've been through? 

Don't be testin' me, Brother. 

Don't push me. Not now. 

I'm warning you. 

I'm not goin' to put up with this, Miss. 

[Staci and Boomer]

You got that dog under control, right? 

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm good with dogs. 

Dogs remind me too much of those damned Judge wolves. 

I don't like the way that dog is looking at me. 

Just keep that dog away from me. 

[Staci and Cheeseburger]

I don't trust bears. 

Keep that thing away from me. 

Bears are dangerous. 

Bears should be in the wild. 

Bears are killers.

[Staci and Peaches]

Now that's a cat.

Big cat.

Big claws on that sucker. 

Nice kitty. 

Beauty coat on that cougar. 

[More Filler, But Longer And Contextual!]

Sometimes it's all just too much...then I remember my purpose. Our purpose. 

Jacob, he's knows everything that I'm thinking. He's got the key to my mind and he twists... and twists... and twists. 

Jacob... he's in control. He controls everything. 

I don't know how much more of this I can take. 

I would've rotted in Jacob's Gate if it wasn't for you. 

Good to see things gettin' back to normal. 

Jacob has got eyes everywhere. He knows your thoughts, before you think 'em. He's inside your head right now. 

Jacob's plan worked. I tried to warn them. I told them not to go back. 

I don't know how much more I can take of this. 

If Jacob gets his way, we're all dead. 

I... I don't know what to think anymore. It's.. it's so hard to keep it straight. 

That goddamn cage, it's like my wires are crossed. 

I can't believe he's really dead. 

No more sacrifices. No more. 

No one can take Jacob on. It's just not possible. 

Jacob's going to win. He always wins. 

Whitetails are honest, decent people. They're fightin' the good fight, and they deserve any success that comes their way. No place is safe, but the Wolf's Den gives you a good chance at livin'. 

Empires fall. The weak.. the world is full of them. They're going to to cull the weak.

I... maybe we shouldn't waste time talking right now.

There's no time. No time!

Jacob... his experiments... he takes us... owns us, speaks to us. He hears us.

They'll find us. They always find people. We gotta leave... before they find us! Before they punish us!

No... keep goin! We move or we die!

Jacob knows. He knows!

You're strong. You're not weak. That's good... good.

I'm alive but I'm weak.. weak. Need to be strong. We are meat. We are all meat.

We could have died. And maybe... maybe I deserved... no, stop, stop! The weak... must be culled!

I... I don't know what we're supposed to do now. Protect and serve? Out here? There's no law anymore, Rook. Look around. Someone should have been here by now. Nobody gives a shit about what's happening here. We're on our own. Survival of the fittest. The weak and strong...

Maybe we didn't survive that crash. Maybe all this is purgatory. We have to atone for all the shit we've done before we can leave this place... we have to suffer before God will grant us salvation.

The whole time I was locked in that room I just kept thinking about how I got here. You know why I became a cop? To get laid. That was it. It was a whim. And then... after awhile, I tried to convince myself that I did it for the greater good. To help people. But I can't. I know that now. Jacob taught me that... I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore... I don't even know who I am.

[STACI DIALOGUE WITH PHIL, THE PEGGIE, IDK]

Stace: I.. I was told to feed the Judges but I didn't know where their food was.

Phil: Jesus, Pratt. Does nothing stick in that brain of yours? Over there, where it's always kept.

Stace: Right! Th..thanks Phil! It won't happen again!

Phil: It better not.

[Also there’s no confirmation this is Staci, but it was right under the above dialogue]

Stace: Hey... I need to get in.

Peggie: Seriously? Didn't I just let you out?

Stace: There's a new prisoner. I got to go get him. For Jacob.

Peggie: Fine. Get goin'. Just leave me the fuck alone.

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Black Survival characters as callmekevin quotes

the man the pickens the but titles

Adela: Wow, he’s good. Doesn’t even need to move his fingers, really.

Adriana: “The baby’s going to cry!” I wonder why!

Alex: You and your baby can play along with mama in over fifty babysitting activities! Six unique babies in game, each with their own unique personalities and needs! (reads the german version) I hope my baby’s in german. I have a feeling with my personality and that accent, it’ll sound really anrgy.

Arda: “Congratulations, you’ve just unlocked a bonus costume.” Is it another one that a middle aged man would wear? Cuz that’s the only type of fashion I’m into.

Aya: I guess we’ll end the episode to miicasso, just looking out in the ocean, wondering why they’re not as loved as some of the other characters.

Barbara: Stop trying to push your government agenda on me! I just wanna play good game!

Bernice: I could destroy any of you kids in unarmed combat.

Camilo: I’m still confused on how Barbie’s gonna get inside those twelve dancing princesses.

Cathy: Operate now:brain surgery. Good, I’ve played surgeon simulator, I can do this.

Chiara: “We found the first part of the flute!” I found this dirty flute in the tree! I should blow on it!

Daniel: “We must start by cutting the patient’s hair.” (white person voice) I was thinking the same thing, it’s disgusting! Let’s get rid of that fringe!

Echion:Why do we all have to be trendy boys from the 90s? Why can’t I be, like, an older gentleman?

Eleven: Nothing could distract me, honestly. (cut to an upgrade game playing itself as she watches)

Eva:This is normal for me. Every year, I sleep through july, august and september. As the great philosopher Green Day once said, wake me up when september ends.

Emma: “-as you would a pencil during a pop quiz” Ah- I didn’t take quizzes, I left school

Fiora: Ah, I’m such a good samurai, I studied the blade

Hart: (playing the guitar) What’s new scooby doo, we’re coming after you, we’re gonna solve that mystery, what’s new scooby doo, the trail leads back to you, whats new scooby dooooooo~ (walks off and breaks the guitar) NA NA NA NA NA-

Hyejin: You know what, I’m just gonna have a nice time this time- FUCK!

Hyunwoo: She doesn’t stop when you tell her to stop! Oh my god, she just loves killing herself! Barbie’s so relatable.

Isol: “We should encourage sharing, what are you feeling?” “.....” “Oh, he got all shy now.” 

Jackie: Oh, if I had a baby I’d do stuff like teaching it the alphabet backwards, like, count using colors, like (points to a blue surface) look, it’s the color three!

Jan: That cat is even higher than I am. Like Barbie, not me, I’m not actually high.

Jenny: Was this show a whole cover for human trafficking?

JP: If I can’t get past the menu, is there much point even playing? (..) Hold on guys, this is going to take some serious gamer thoughts to actually get working.

Lenox: Oh, sssssssugar. I can’t swear in front of the kids.

Leon: Okay barbie, let’s get started- (falls into the pond) Ow, shit.

Li Dailin: Come on, it’s my only skill! Drinking!

Luke: “You jumped too early!” She’s like, ‘Oops! You killed me!’

Magnus: (rrrr rrrr sound) God, Luigi is such a chad, revving his engine like that. ‘I’m gonna park the car, okay? I don’t wanna tip the valet.’ Oh my god, luigi- is a bit of a douchebag-

Mai: Well, Tessa, George wasn’t paying his mortgage and his farm got foreclosed on. That’s not my fault, he didn’t hold up his responsibilities.

Nadine: They’re all grabbing onto him and he’s like “Let go of me! I’m not used to human contact!”

Nathapon: I’m gonna try and translate this so you can understand. (laggy parrot speaking ensues) I think she said ‘you’re high as shit, wake up!’

Nicky: Some... unresolved anger there. Zoinks.

Rio: I don’t know, I’m lost. All I know is this child’s creeping me out.

Rosalio: “You know what, Kevin, our job now is to be funny ‘cause we’re never gonna win.” “I can’t do that either”

Rozzi:”Why not take a break?” Because I do this for a living, shut up!

Shoichi: “Eww!” What, a fly? Mama has a murderous look in her eye.

Silvia: Can you stop spinning so fast?! I need to make a fecking character here

Sissela: “By 202, one in two of us will have cancer in our lifetime.” Jesus christ, I’m already depressed.

Sua: Did you win, or did you just accidentally fall into first place?

William: “Kevin, did I do something to you?” “You did.” “Did I hurt you in some way?” “I had a dream that you played a +4 on me, now I’m upset.”

Xiukai: Ground beef? Why would we use beef that we found on the ground?

Yuki: I think I just subconsciously hate myself or something.

Zahir: Ah of course. A game about singing, where I can’t sing.

[datingdonovan]

18, 35, 73, 84, 91 :)

aaaaaaa kaitlyn thank u this is so fun these are WACKO questions so its time to think deep at 330am here we gooooo

18 - Do you believe in karma? i mean yeah i think so you reap what you sow

35 - To you, what is the meaning of life? ok so we asking the hard hitting ones huh? lol i guess to do what you’re meant to do. im sort of religiously questioning right now but i guess i would say like for me that would probably be whatever God’s plan is for you??? i just think like, the main thing is to find the thing that is for YOU not the thing everyone tells you is the right thing to do in general. i feel like it’s summed up well in this Howard Thurman quote i saw once and i’ve never forgotten it!!! “Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” i think yeah, everyone needs to find the thing that makes them personally come alive and feel fulfilled and do that, because someone loving and excelling at that thing makes the world better for us all, no matter what the thing may be!!!! i think!

73 - You can only have one of these things; trust or love. woah is this like, for me or for others? like if i could only have love or trust in my heart i would pick love i think. i already have trouble trusting and we...... we get by lol. if i could only receive one of those things from others, then i’d say..... also love i think??? but it’s like a confusing thing because is the love romantic or friend or what??? and like, does the nontrust mean you can’t really understand where a person is coming from because you can’t ever really know much about them??? if so then i’d change my answer and choose trust because my main thing is like, i want to understand people and have them understand me whether they’re friends or lovers or whatever. i guess yeah like, honestly depending on how much you can’t trust like if it’s an excessive amount of distrust like, the love is almost empty care and admiration without a real knowledge of them or closeness to them and so maybe it’s honestly better to have trust and whatever closeness, understanding, and relationship that engenders even if you can’t call it love it feels pretty darn good to me. this question confused me but i hope i explained my stance well LOL

84 - What is a saying you say a lot? LOL idk when i started saying oh my word but i say it so much. gee whollickers. good golly. i dont know lol i often talk like im from like the 1940s and people comment on it and think its hilarious. i think i’ve said this in another post too but my fam and i are huge on making up our own silly sayings and one of mine recently has been “what the snakes.” on that line of thinking i also just really like thinking to myself “snacktown” or “snaketown” or something recently. dont ask me where it comes from i just think it as an exclamation of like????? usually coolness or excitement??? i think??? i dont know im so lol xD raNdOM!?!!?!? zOMG uwu

91 - You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? oh zoink!! im so glad i started eating healthy and got these wonderful veggies. gonna pull a weird card here and say they give me the superpower to literally hear God talk like in my ear. this is a development that is either very good or very very bad. it probably incites the creation of a sitcom about my life

lol thank you these were so fun and craCKED ME UP!!!!!

ask me a thing

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #207

“it’s late, and you’re still staring at the light; to call it an addiction’s impolite.”

Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? Happy being a girl. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? When it's to people who are aware of how behind I am in the adult world in any context, yes. Very. If they know nothing about me, then I don't care. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Height, I don't care. Weight, fuck no. What do your parents call you? Both usually say "Britt," but Dad's more likely to use terms of endearment like "sweetie" and such. Well, Mom does use "hunny" a lot too. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? Idr. About the "normal" age for little kids that played Neopets, probably. Would you say you’re an emotional person? Way too emotional. What’s a color that suits you the best? Black. And a color you just can’t pull off/don’t want to? Probably most... I wouldn't know, almost every single thing I wear is black. I have literally one light purple shirt, and I think that's the only non-black shirt I own. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? Very talkative, extremely imaginative, outgoing, I was definitely weird, tomboyish, very happy... Man, I miss being that kid sometimes. A type of personality you just can't stand? The older and older I get, the more I cannot STAND a closed mind. I like people who accept they're far from always right, and sometimes, your "right" isn't such for someone else, and that is fine. You don't have to see the same way to still get along perfectly (though of course, there's no need to respect an opinion that spits upon, invalidates, or is just plain hateful towards another person/group). Like just as an example 'cuz I feel like I explained that poorly; I'm really not into the idea of polygamy at all, but I'm not against it for people it works with. You do you. Your appearance in one word would be? "Abilify." :^) City type of person or country? I like the live in a more country-ish area, but I found through Chicago I LOVE /visiting/ cities. What’s something you’re obsessed about right now? When am I not obsessed with Mark, meerkats, Silent Hill, opossums (a newer addition), WoW, etc. etc.? My whole life runs on obsessing over something, fren. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? ZOINKS that would suck ass. Do you really badly want anything right now? For the past couple weeks, I've become more and more antsy to get up to Sara's again. When I land a job, fancyin' up my tattoo just because as I've said again and again it is SO important to me and must be perfect, then I'm saving up to go back up there. What’s something that makes you really stressed out? With all this job searching and such going on, it's like all I can think about, so why not mention what fucked me up at my previous ones: Putting me in a position of responsibility and expected knowledge. Ex., when I was a sales associate and was asked "Oh, do you have this?"/"Where is this?", it was CONSTANT PANIC MODE because I never knew and had to ask somebody, when I was expected to be a knowledgeable employee to the customer, and then comes the horror of feeling like I'm inconveniencing and annoying them. Have any particular standard look you look for in a significant other? I don't have a "standard look," no, but I am more likely to be drawn to a gothic appearance. But I don't actively search for someone that meets that criteria or anything. Do you listen to Wiz Khalifa? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Please legalize medicinal use already. Recreationally, idk. Do you date outside your own race? I'd have no reservations against it. I dated a Hispanic... less than a day, but still, you get the point that I don't have a problem with it. What are some of your turn-offs? SEXIST/MISOGYNISTIC, too old-fashioned, racist and/or homophobic, raunchy, arrogant/self-centered, lack of sincere interest and enthusiasm in conversation, poor hygiene, I'm gonna get SHIT ON for saying "too slutty," not taking dating seriously... that kinda stuff. I'm so picky. Are you gay, straight, bi, or trans? Bisexual. Are you vegetarian? If not, would you ever consider becoming one? I'm not now, but I hope to return to it after I get to my goal weight... In my few months of vegetarianism, it was proven that my immense pickiness with food was making the diet unhealthy for me, as I was strongly lacking in certain vitamins and such. I'm going to have to somehow overcome that if I want to return to it, which I REALLY do want to do the more and more I get into animal welfare and care. Are you in love? Yes. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimist, I think, out of the two. But I like to see myself as a realist. How much money is in your wallet? Literally just $11 lmao. What’s your favorite sex position? Only experienced in these with a man, so answering with that in mind. I like sitting on his lap, facing him, with my legs around his back. What do you ultimately wish for in life? Happiness and peace. Have you ever been pregnant? No. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? Tip your goddamn waiter/waitress, assholes. I do believe in tipping based on the quality of service, BUT at least give them SOMETHING for working. Do you have your driver’s license? No jkajdsklfaj;wer. I haaaave to practice more. Whenever I'm in the car, I always strongly prefer to listen to my music, controlling it from the passenger's seat, and at least right now, I can't drive with loud music, barely any at all really, so I have a hard time giving up blaring my music while Mom drives lmao. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No. What’s your favorite carnival food? Idk, I don't go nearly enough. Who did you last kiss? Romantically, Sara. Platonically, either my niece or nephew when leaving. Have you seen the final Harry Potter movie? I haven't even see one. Ever been called a slut? No. Would you ever have sex with someone not of your preferred sex? I'm bisexual so like- Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? No. Do you take any meds on a daily basis? Yep. What did you do today? Watched LPs as always; did some job searching; played WoW, way shorter than usual though; took a nap; made a new icon; took a shower; listened to music; did some social media scrolling. The usual stuff. What do you wear to bed at home? A tank top and pj pants. What do you wear to bed when you're somewhere else? The same, but with a bra. Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? No. Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? I'll just talk about the unordinary ones, 'cuz I have a lot. The ones I'd consider "weird" are vomiting, whale sharks, and pregnancy. Vomiting is because it's just incredibly unpleasant, but also because I know what goes down is not supposed to come back up. Like no one likes puking, no shit, but I'm legit afraid of it and lock up on what to do when I feel it coming, like I don't know what to do. Whale sharks... ahaha. It literally came from World of Warcraft. The design of their mouths is fucking horrifying, and I hate hate hate how they sometimes phase in-and-out of the Vashj'ir map so just like pOP UP. NAH, SON. It's just their damn mouths, even though I know their esophagus is far too small to swallow a human. As for pregnancy, just... ew. I'm afraid of parasites, and it's a parasitic relationship. Something should NOT be growing inside of you. What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? I'm very compassionate, especially when it comes to others enduring emotional struggles. I really feel for hurting people. What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? I have strong morals and stick to them. I'll always stand up for what I feel is right. What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? Ah jeez, there's a lot... but probably my anxiety. It's held me back and manipulated my actions since middle school. I struggle not followings its rules, but I'm sure trying. Who do you most admire? Mark, my mom, Sara, Sara's dad, Steve Irwin... man, there's too many great people. Who do you most love? Sara, my mom, and my pets, Teddy especially. What three things do you look for most in a partner? EXPRESSING OF THEIR EMOTIONS/TRULY FEELING!!!!!!!!, compassion, and a cool head. If you could ask God (to atheists - IF there was one) one question, what? Hm. Good question... There's a lot, but mostly little wonders; I feel like I have a decent understanding of the god I personally see, so don't have any magnificent questions. Perhaps regarding why they created our world. That'd be interesting. Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10: 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper: 7. Charm: *big shrug* Cheerfulness: 3-4. Confidence: 0-3. Courtesy: 8-10. Curiosity: 6-10. Forgiveness: 9-10. Generosity: 8-10. Greed: 0-3. Helpfulness: Well, I like to try to help, but I don't feel I'm very successful at that, so idk. Honesty: 5-9, depending on who I'm talking to and what the subject is, I guess. Loyalty: This is very flexible, and I don't feel like I can put a number on it. It depends on how deserving you are of the trait, and yes, you can lose my loyalty in a heartbeat if you give me reason to take it away. Optimism: 0-4. Patience: This can go from a whopping 0 to a 10, lmao. Very dependent on the situation. Self-sacrifice: 8-9. Wit: -10. Briefly describe your family. Kinda broken. Tight bonds scattered between certain people, no bonds with others. What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you? The breakup. I wouldn't wish that night upon Satan himself. How did it affect you? We know. Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares? Speaking of that... Jason is in most nightmares I remember. The common theme is it's either after the breakup and we have an awkward running in with each other, or it's long before when everything was "perfect." All things considered, I'd call even that a nightmare. Those fuck with me the most. Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Do you have any close friends? I can count those on maybe two fingers. Of what are you most proud? Letting Jason go. Of what are you most ashamed? I've talked about the Joel situation multiple times. What is your religion? Theist. Where do you stand on abortion? Mostly pro-choice. Where do you stand on the death penalty? Sometimes justifiable and one's deserving end. Felons are lucky enough it's done humanely. Where do you stand on wearing fur? If you're not surviving out in the arctic, fuck you and all you stand for. Could you kill somebody? I'm perfectly aware I could in defense situations. For what reason would you kill somebody? Defending myself or loved ones. Hell, probably even strangers. I'd kill a rapist with zero fucking hesitation, even if they were assaulting someone I'd never seen before. Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now? No. Do you trust easily, or not? NOPE. What, if anything, would you sacrifice your life for? Defending peace, gay rights, or if it was to protect most of those I love. What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? Be a successful photographer, reach financial stability, come to a point where I'm actually proud of what I've done, play a roll in wildlife conservation, be happily married, and just overall be content and satisfied with my life. How do you plan to reach them? Working my goddamn ass off and not taking "no" for an answer (not about the marriage part tho lmao). Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? No. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? I just want a pet family with Sara. What do you see yourself doing next year? Man, I don't have a clue... What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? I don't want to think of that. That's too far ahead. I'll be 43... I've gotta work on too many things now. Would you ever have an affair? I'm very curious as to who would actually answer "yes" to this. Would you ever have a one night stand? No. Lmaoooo actually this is sad as fuck, but I think I've said in a previous survey just knowing myself, if we were both single and clicked, I'd be doomed if it was Markiplier. My morals would sadly go out the window. If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do? That's literally been the story of my life for years now, especially the past two. And it's torture. Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk? No. Well, actually, I do want to do wildlife photography, and it can be pretty dangerous. Were you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. Do you have any famous relatives? No. Ancestors, yeah, but not close relatives. Are you a loyal member of any organizations? No. What type of criminal would you be? With how forgetful I am, I'm certain I'd be a very clumsy one that gets caught very quickly, lol. What are you listening to right now? "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be? Um idk. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling? Someone for a job interview. Do you drink? Rarely and/or for some special occasions. Never enough to get drunk. Do you smoke? No. What is the first thing you notice in someone? I guess posture? How they carry themselves? Do you get attached easily? BOY! DO I!!!!!!!!!!! Do you like your eye color? I wish they were more blue. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance? Definitely not bungee jumping, I know how I react to that kind of up/down movement, and probably not skydiving, either. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both regularly since middle school. Are looks important in a relationship? Not very. What is your favorite thing to do? Binge a new song I fell in love with for like days lmao. What was the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? PhotoScape. It's easier to move watermarks for photos on there, and I was working on the ones I took a few days back. Do you like to gossip? No, I feel super guilty. What kind of computer do you have? An Acer. Do you know all the words to your national anthem? I think? Have you ever failed a grade? No. Have you ever made the opposite sex cry? Yes. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you own a designer purse? Hell no. Waste of money for a goddamn purse that's just gonna get dirty and scratched. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Jason and I magically had a baby over summer vacation when I was very obviously never pregnant. Do you say the "h" in the word “herb”? No, though I did for a super long time 'cuz I had no idea it was wrong. Do you speak any languages besides English? Not fluently. Can you run in high heels? I wouldn't really know, but boy do I doubt it. Do you have to take stairs or an elevator to get to your house? No. What do you usually order at Subway? Ummm I think white bread, ham, American cheese, bacon, jalapenos, banana peppers, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Did an alarm wake you up this morning? No. How long is your mother’s hair? Past her shoulderblades, near the middle of her back. Is there any particular place you’d like to vacation to next? Surprisingly, I'd love to go somewhere tropical, like Hawaii or some shit like that. Somewhere with clear water and unique, beautiful wildlife and nature. What is your beer of choice, if any? Never tried beer, never want to. The smell is bad enough. That and I associate it with when Dad was an alcoholic. Did you share a bed with anyone last night? No. Well, other than with my cat. Do you know anyone who volunteers regularly? Yes. Have you ever ruined a nice pair of shoes, and how? Maybe, playing in puddles or biking through them and mud as a kid or something. Who were the last friends you went to hang out with? Sara. How many chairs are in the room you’re currently in? None. Have you texted a relative in the past week? Not besides immediate family. Are you doing anything important today? No. If I were to bring you any type of food right now, what would you pick? If I was actually hungry, I have been craving hotdogs on the grill like CRAZY lately. No clue why. When did you move into the house you’re currently living in? April-ish 2017. Do you ever sleep with the light on? No, I can't. Do you pray to Jesus? 20+ years of that did nothing. No. What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? N/A Do you have a bonfire pit in your yard? No. Would you consider being homeless if it meant you could travel the world? I don't know; there's lots of factors to consider. Would I be willing to leave my pets (but Teddy, probably; I'd want him with me) with my mom? Would I have something like a camper? Where am I getting this money to travel and provide for myself? Do you know your next-door neighbor? Mom knows one, but I personally don't. What’s something you have never done? Lots of things? As an example, uhhh... I've never done a cartwheel, despite childhood efforts? Name someone you know who is a true risk-taker, adventurer, and free spirit. Do you admire that person? Idk. Do you wish you were more of a free spirit? I think I already am, but it'd be cool to be more of one. Are you allergic to any medications? No. How do you feel when someone says something you’ve experienced doesn’t exist? Tell me depression isn't real, my PTSD isn't genuine, I can "get over" my anxiety if I want to hard enough, stuff like that, and I will not fucking associate with you. These are things that have massively affected my life; I dare someone to tell me these experiences aren't real issues. What worldview do you have? A realistic one, I think. I'm positive in some areas, negative in others. Hm... I'm probably more pessimistic about the world's future, though. Do you have friends who have different religious beliefs than you? Duh? If applicable, who was the first person you “came out” to? Sara. What’s one thing you’d like to do more? Travel. What was your style in high school? Some emo/metalhead hybrid that wished with all her heart to be capable of affording a goth wardrobe and bitch I still do. What’s one thing you are jealous that other people got to do but you didn’t? Have a healthy teenage experience. Have you ever taken birth control pills continuously? I have for years for my cycle. I had just about debilitating cramps and sometimes periods that lasted over a week. Who is your personality twin? Sara is probably the closest. What’s a common name that you hate? Edward, above all. Not a big fan of William, Robert, or Allen, either. Who do you wish you were best friends with? If you don't count my girlfriend as "best friend," maybeeee... Alon still? Or Baylee. I need to talk more to her, she's awesome. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? I don't believe so. …in fairies? I believed in the Tooth Fairy. …in Santa? Yes. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. What is your newest hobby? Hm, I don't think I've found a new one for a long while... What gives your life meaning? I don't know. What motivates you to do what you do? The pursuit of happiness. What was the weather like the last time you went out? Too fucking hot. Do you go for walks often? No, though I really want to around a lake at a local, small park. Problems consist of no way to get there myself, it's WAY too fucking hot with my sweating issue, and my knees just wouldn't have it; I know I couldn't walk the full lap around it. Also expect some art installations around the path and probably the gazebo are PokeStops for Pokemon Go and really wish I could play it, so that's bait to do it lmao. What color shirt are you wearing? Pink. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? It really depends on who I'm watching. Favorite on the face of the planet are Mark's ego projects, then my second fave are probably Shane's conspiracy videos, then I love let's plays. Do you need any new clothes right now? I seriously need more pants. And new bras. Do you collect anything? If so, what? Silent Hill merch and meerkat stuff. ^and if not, what would you like to collect? When I can buy shit myself, ya girl is gonna have way too much Markiplier merch. YouTuber stuff in general, actually. Too shy to ask for that kinda stuff now lol. Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think so. What was the last thing you ate? A burger. Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? ...? Like, baby food? No. Or maybe you mean shit like Lunchables? In cases like that, sometimes? What was the last stupid thing you did? Oh boy, who knows. Do you get embarrassed easily? You. Have. No. Idea. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, then uhhhh... I like Chloe and Adrian. Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Hell no. I'd never wanna see it, I'd never want my hypothetical child to have to witness that, etc. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. Wet clothes are no. Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Straight, I guess? Though my hair does swoop to the right, so it's kinda a wave? What was the last craft project you completed? Oh, yeesh. I don't do crafts. The closest thing was I guess Sara's Valentine's Day gift for last year? Name 3 YouTubers you would like to meet in person: Markiplier is literally the only one that matters lmao and it's not "would like to meet in person," he will be forced to endure meeting me ok. Meeting Shane Dawson would be amazing, he's such a relatable sweetie, aaaaand #3 would probably be Rhett and/or Link, as similar to Mark, they deserve a tear-filled thanks as well as back-breaking hugs for seriously helping in keeping me alive through my suicidal year. I mean it when I say they genuinely helped me keep going. What color are your nails painted currently? They’re never painted. Do you use a pill box? No. List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: Jason, Jason, and Jason. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? No. Which did you like better: high school or college? My college experience was horrid. High school had great memories, but of course negative ones, too. Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? 2017. …and why? It was my year of recovery from the breakup. What was the last store you shopped at? I went to Wal-Mart with Mom. I think that was the most recent, anyway. Do you have a favorite pharmacist? No. Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? No. What’s something you discovered recently? I'm a Billie Eilish fan. What makes you more creative? Music. What’s the last magical thing you experienced? YO okay so when my brother and nephew were here, we went to the science museum and into a 360 VR-esque show about astronauts. I got SO nauseous and dizzy, but it was nevertheless extremely cool. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? Just tonight! I ordered at a drive-thru myself. Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? An elephant! Do you want to lose weight? You have no fucking idea. Which insects scare you, if any? Lmao most. Especially rhinoceros beetles, big beetles in general honestly, cockroaches, earwigs, centipedes... like a lot okay. I like observing praying mantises, but I would probably have a fucking heart attack if one was on me. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? Well, yeah, though I get the likely survival reason, that being we know many are venomous, so we're naturally averse to them, especially if we don't recognize the type. Were you raised religious? Yes. Have you ever been abused? No, thankfully. Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? N/A If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Man, I have SO many color combination ideas. If I could get it done in the safest manageable way by a pro, I saw this look once with totally bleached/pure white hair that fades to blood-red tips, and BOY would I get that in a heartbeat. If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? I hope so. I think so. The only thing I imagine myself being weak with are tattoos. Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don't think so... List five careers that you’d like to have: Meerkat biologist, paleontologist, artist, poet, something in wildlife conservation/protection. List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: Scuba-dive, I'd LIKE to ride a rollercoaster (far-out for me, trust me), but I know I never will, and uh... idk. Riding a motorcycle would be cool, but that's another thing I hiiighly doubt I'll do. What was your first imaginary friend’s name? I never had one. What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Chance, a cat my mom rescued. She was our very first family pet. She was absolutely incredible. Do you like to go barefoot? Unless I'm in a house, no. Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Yeah. Do you have a YouTube channel? Yeah. Is there someone who stopped talking to you for no reason? Oh, who to begin with? Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank or bitch? "Bitch" more than once. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Have you ever slow danced with anyone? With Jason, yeah. And I don't think so, but maybe Sara briefly? Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. What would you do if you were pregnant? I don't have a fucking clue. Do you like cuddling? With someone I love. Have you ever cried in school? Yes, but I think I kept it private. Who’s the last person to send you a message on Facebook? A woman whose wedding I'm shooting this Saturday. Have you ever witnessed someone else engaging in a sexual act? Just making out. Where did you get drunk last? N/A What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? She's my girlfriend. If someone went through your pictures, would they find a dirty one? No. How did you do on the last test you took? I haven't been in school for a long time. How come you’re not going out with the person you love? I am.

[rkness]

zoinks,

@rksomi

there’s four new kids in total (look at her, she can count!), and vanessa swears by the first week she’ll talk to them at all to make sure they’re settling in okay. new trainee life is wild, scary, even if it’s still just as exciting; she’s done it twice and she’s still not as comfortable as she probably should be at this point (she blames the sns scandal, truth be told). so when she sees one of the new faces, she doesn’t hesitate to approach-- her smile widening to the point of her trademark vanessa lee grin. though a part of her pauses, head cocking to the side as she slows her pace.

“oh my god.” the english slips out before she can stop to think. “you’re adorable, oh my god. this is going to sound so weird, but like, can i adopt you?” the words tumble free and into the open; shameless as she is, she doesn’t falter, doesn’t blink. “okay, seriously. like, i know we just met and all-- but you’re my child now. wait, is that okay? oh! sorry--” her eyes scrunch up as she widens her grin. “probably should introduce myself. hi! i’m vanessa, it’s so nice to meet you. welcome to trc!”

[fans-of-fiction]

Tozier, Meet Right Hand - Richie Tozier x Reader (IT)

I owe the anon that requested this an apology because this imagine is over a month late. I feel so guilty for not getting this out sooner but I’ve had a whole slew of mental and physical health problems over the past 4-6 weeks and my emotional PTSD has been weighing me the fuck down. I hope you know that your requests mean more to me than you will ever know. With so much love, E <3

Prompt/Plot: #3 - Anxiety/Panic Attack. Richie has a very hard time admitting his love for Y/N—especially when she seems so close to Bill—but after she shows up at his house in a snowstorm, and helps him after he has a panic attack in Neibolt, he’s ready to make an exception.

Warnings: Richie has a panic attack. Swearing and mentions of masturbation (it’s Richie. What canya do?)

A/N: Written in Richie’s POV. There’s a flashback to the snowstorm that’s acknowledged with time marks. Not a BillxReader though it may seem like so at first.

Words: 5659

July 1989

“Fuck,” I mumbled as Bill, Eddie, Y/N and I stepped into Neibolt. The stale and visibly dusty air wafted around us like smoke in a wind-tunnel. “Wonder how many lepers’ve died in here.”

“Sto-” Eddie gagged audibly. “Stop with the leper talk, Richie! It was,” A click-wheeze came from Eddie’s aspirator as he breathed in deeply. “It was one time!”

I chuckled and looked over at Y/N. She laughed as she knelt down to tie her shoelace with a happy tranquility that almost made me forget we were standing in the middle of a crack-head house. If it wasn’t for the creaking of the heavy, wooden door struggling shut behind us—locking us away from Beverly, Ben, Stan, and Mike—I could have easily thought that we were standing in the middle of the old, dark section of the library where they keep the original copies of Shakespeare, right next to Jesus’s passport.

Bill—our own fearless leader—turned and spoke once he found his bearings. “Guh-guys,” He croaked. We could all tell he was scared, but he stood his ground and hid it well. “I th-thuh-think we sh-ssh-shuh-” He couldn’t get it out.

Y/N stood beside him and slung one arm over his shoulder to calm him. Something bubbled in my stomach. “It’s alright, Bill.” She reassured, her voice soft. “Take your time.”

Bill smiled down at her and she smiled back. The bubbles churned. It was like someone was boiling a kettle in my guts. I looked at the word Freese’s on my shirt. What the fuck? I asked, almost out loud. You’ve had beef burritos before. Would you cool it?

“Th-thanks, Y/N.” Bill managed, ready to start again. “I th-think we shuh-should split up.” His stutter had nearly disappeared with Y/N at his side. Yeah, I chimed in my head. Let’s all split up, Bill. I’ll bet my allowance you and Y/N will find each other anyway. Something clicked in my head. I didn’t do it often, but I found myself stopping to think, and suddenly the feeling made sense. It wasn’t the burritos. It was seeing Y/N help Bill. It was watching Y/N hug Ben when he gave her his spare change for gum. It was hearing Y/N say, ‘I’d hop in Brian’s parachute pants.’ when we watched The Breakfast Club on VHS in Beverly’s apartment. It was because I don’t look like Brian from The Breakfast Club, or Bill, or Ben. Fuck, I thought. The realization crashing over me like a black, choking wave. Richie Tozier, you jealous shit. I could feel my cheeks going red and my pants growing hot. Fuck, I groaned. Fuck. No. Not here. Not in fucking Neibolt. Run your mouth, Tozier. Crack a joke. Spit a remark or something. Do a voice. Do a voice, Richie.

And like that I was Shaggy. “Like zoinks, Fred!” I carolled. “It’s like, get another catchphrase or something, huh-ha!”

Y/N chuckled—Success—but quickly shrugged it away so she wouldn’t make Bill feel bad, but Bill didn’t care. He was determined to find this made-up, whack-job clown. “Ruh-Richie and E-Eh-E-” He tried.

“We get it, Bill.” Click-wheeze. “ Richie and I can stay Can stay on the ground floor if,” He pointed a finger at Bill and Y/N. “You two wanna go upstairs.” The kettle clicked on again broiling harshly. It was so hot that I almost missed the joke opportunity. That’s my cue, I thought.

“Yeah,” I laughed, wrapping my arms around Eddie. “Oh, Bill!” I squeaked. “I’m so scared, Bill! Won’t you hold me?” I shuffled my arms dramatically up and down Eddie’s back and hair, making loud kissing noises. “Mwah mwah Mwah! Oh, Bill! Mwah mwah mwa-”

“Richie!” Eddie shouted and squirmed. “Richie my hair! Have you even washed your hands in the past twenty-four hours, Richie? Richie!” He pushed away, hands rushing up to his head to fix the mess. I doubled over,  laughing so hard I could barely breathe. All the heat left my stomach. I managed to stand up and wipe my glasses off, but looking at Y/N I saw that her cheeks were red. Really red. She was embarrassed. Welp, I concluded. That’s it, Trashmouth. You threw away any shot you had. Tozier, meet Right Hand.

Bill put an arm around Y/N’s shoulder and they turned towards the rickety staircase. Wanna go for broke, Tozier? My thoughts were coughing at me. I know well enough that my mouth’s a badly cracked dam, and it’s impossible to stop the leaks.  “Be safe you two!” I spurted as they walked away. “Use protection!”

There was a scoff from Eddie. I grinned a Trashmouth’s grin at him but turned back around to find Y/N looking at me. She was disappointed. I would have walked back to my house and locked myself away until I died if Eddie hadn’t scolded me once she and Bill were out of sight. “Are you serious, Richie?” He chided. “Would you just tell her you like her already?”

I turned to Eddie so that I could glare at him through my thick frames. “Gee, Eddie.” I quipped. “Let’s see, if you’re the only Loser I’ve confessed my love for Y/N to, and believe me, I regret that… well… I suppose two and two equal no. Fuck no. Never.” I adjusted my glasses, which were sliding down my hot face. “She’ll never know because she’ll never feel the same way.” I turned to walk away. Anywhere but there under Eddie’s decrypting gaze. “And that’s the story, Eds.”

I made my way to a small alcove—It looked like a living room. In the middle, a lone chair sat in a slew of tangled roots and dead vines, sprouting from the ceiling—but I didn’t make it far. “Richie,” Eddie called. His voice sounded different. Less frustrated and more confused.

It enticed me to look at him again. “What, Eddie?”

He stared at me, eyebrows furrowed. “Richie, you said ‘love.’”

When did I say Love? I thought. I tried to remember but I felt about as confused as Eddie looked. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Eddie suddenly smiled. His cheeks turning up to mock me. “You finally said it.” He chirped. “You wouldn’t admit it before, but you just did. You said ‘my love for Y/N’, Richie.”

A floodgate opened. I did say that. Richie Tozier is a bastard in love, Ladies and Gents. I could feel my cheeks catch fire, probably a vivid crimson, and as I mulled over Eddie’s words I could hear his voice, somewhere else, somewhere distant, somewhere on the other end of a telephone line.

Winter 1988

“Richie, could you tell Mrs.Douglas that I won’t be in class tomorrow?” Eddie said into the receiver.

I chuckled. “What’s the matter, Eds? Rather tickle your pickle while your mom’s at work than sit through math?”

Eddie when to sigh but his shitty lungs spat a wheeze instead. “No, you idiot.” Click-wheeze. “My mom’s taking me to the doctor.”

“Why,” I quipped. “Dick stuck in the VHS player again?” He scoffed, but I laughed.

“Richie! That’s gross!” He wailed. “I’m going to the optometrist, dip-shit. My mom wants to make sure I don’t need glasses.”

“Just where my extra pair,” I suggested.

It was Eddie’s turn to laugh. “I can see Jupiter in those fuckin things.”

We both giggled, but the moment was cut short by the doorbell. I listened closely to see if I could hear my mother’s footsteps, wondering if she was sober enough to be awake. Silence. “Hold on, Eds.” I sighed, knowing very well that she was unconscious. “Doorbell.”

Put the phone down, but didn’t hang it up, and ran down the stairs. The front hall carpet was cold, a sign that the snow storm blowing outside was as bad as the weather goons had predicted. Putting a hand on the cold, brass doorknob I noticed that I never knew who to expect when opening the door. It could’ve been a salesman, or a dinosaur, or God himself. Frankly, I would have expected anyone else before I expected her.

It was Y/N. I knew her face immediately because whenever she passed in the hallway it was all I could see, though Eddie was the only one who ever caught me staring. She looked cold. So cold that she was shaking, her hands clutched to her chest. Even with frostbite, she was stunning. So stunning that I forgot to crack a joke, or at least say Hey.

“Richie!” She exclaimed, her voice barely audible in the wailing wind. I noticed her teeth chattering in between words. Don’t be a pussy, Tozier. Let the pretty girl in.

I moved out of the way and put one hand on her shoulder, guiding her into the house. “Holy shit, Y/N,” I said, stunned. “What the hell are you doing outside in that storm.”

She chuckled. My concern wasn’t a joke, but even in the cold, her laugh was warm, like Saturday morning sunshine. “It wasn’t this bad before.” She assured. “It was nice enough to walk to Mr.Keene’s, but all of a sudden the wind picked up and the next thing I knew I was on your doorstep.”

I chuckled, feeling an odd sense of honour that she recognized my house and felt safe enough with me to seek shelter from a snowstorm with me. “You can stay here until it passes if you want.” I offered, hoping and praying that the storm would last forever. Now’s your chance to get to know her, Richie. I thought. Now’s your chance to impress the hell out of a pretty girl from the safety and comfort of your own home.

Y/N smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Richie.” She said. “I really appreciate it, especially because,” She paused. “Well, I guess we don’t know each other that well, do we?”

I thought about it for a second, but only because it took me aback. I felt weird to think that I’d known her for any less than forever. I shrugged my shoulders. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I lulled casually in my best Clark Gable impression before turning towards my kitchen. She chuckled. I felt a sense of success I rarely felt with my parents. My Dad always working, my Mom always drinking. It made me feel good. Hopeful. Like I’d been working in a sulfur mine all my life and just caught my first breath of fresh air.

I was looking at her differently now. I didn’t just see a beautiful girl I’d love to parade around the school beside. I saw a beautiful girl who—despite being frozen—radiated warmth and light. I felt a sudden urge to sweep her up in my arms. Shut up, Trashmouth. My head spat. You’ll only ever be the kid who lived in a warm house when she got caught in a snowstorm. The thought hurt, and though I tried to push it out, it pushed back. You shouldn’t flatter yourself, Richie. The least you can do is help her enjoy her stay in your dark and lonely house before she forgets all about you. Now, go be a man. I took a deep breath. “You look freezing.” I acknowledged, motioning to her shaking hands.

She chuckled. “I guess so.” I could still hear her teeth chattering. At the bottom of the stairs sat the clean laundry my mom was going to take up before she popped the cork on what was probably her second bottle of wine that day. I grabbed a blanket and walked over to Y/N, pulling it around her shoulders.

“Here,” I mumbled bashfully. “You should probably warm yourself up.” Her face was so close to mine that I could smell her chapstick. Cherry. She smiled as we made eye contact and then reached up and fixed my glasses, which were sliding down my face. I chuckled. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Her smile grew. “Thanks for letting me stay for a little while.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to calm the goosebumps. “No problem.”

We made our way into the kitchen. I flicked the kettle on. As I was searching through the cupboards for the box of hot chocolate mix, Y/N took a seat at the table. I could hear her pull the wooden chair out and sit down on its creaky seat. I looked for the hot chocolate a little harder, with hopes that I’d find it soon and could distract Y/N so she couldn’t notice how dusty and cold the house really was.

As if to confirm my worries that she was looking around, eyes scanning the walls and shelves to find some secret part of my backstory that she could crack, I heard her chair push back on the linoleum floor. I heard her step around the table to the wall with the family photos on it, her socked feet making only soft sweeping sounds. Please, I begged, practically tossing bowls and cups across the floor. Please don’t look at those. They’re not me. I’m not my family. I’m not my mother, the alcoholic, or my father, the worker who ignores his trashmouth son. I’m not them. They’re not me. They’re not-”

“So this is your family, huh?” Shit. Her voice was soft and polite. Enough so that I ignored her almost presumptuous question.

“Yeah,” I joked, ignoring the mess of kitchenware and the fact that I probably had no hot chocolate to begin with. I walked over and stood with my back to the photos, facing Y/N. I smiled an overdramatic grin. “Don’t we look alike?”

She chuckled, seeing clearly that my parents and I held little resemblance. “Are either of them home?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing. She was wondering why she hadn’t thought of asking earlier.

I debated lying to Y/N. Telling her that both my parents were in Venezuela on an expedition or something. But looking into her eyes I found something pure. Something whole that said ‘I won’t judge you, Richie. You can trust me.’ And so I trusted her, but not with the whole truth. “My dad’s at work,” I explained. “My mom’s having a nap in the den.” Quick thinking, Richie. If you were only that quick on your feet, maybe you’d have less trouble with Bowers. My stomach hurt just thinking of the mulleted asshole, so I focused on Y/N. I studied her face and found no signs of judgement, only curiosity and beauty.

“Oh,” she said. “Will she be mad if she sees a girl in the house?”

I thought about it for a second. The answer was yes. She would probably be appalled. She may even throw Y/N back out on the street before she could slip her boots on again, but she would definitely notice me. Maybe even see my cry for love and attention and give me some for once. But it would take something drastic. Something that I wasn’t willing to drag Y/N into. Something that I hadn’t even noticed was about to happen anyway, because I hadn’t heard the TV click off, or the scuffling of my mother’s slippers. I hadn’t noticed her standing in the doorway, already positioned—slightly off-kilter with the wine in her system—to rip both Y/N and I apart.

“Richard Tozier,” She tried to boom, but it only came out as a deep slurred mess. I could smell the alcohol on her breath from several feet away, and with Y/N standing unfortunately in between the two of us I knew that she could smell it too. She was probably already figuring out the basics of the Tozier household. Drunken mother, working father, under-acknowledged Richie Tozier. “Did you think you could sneak some tramp into the house without my knowing?” Her eyes were distant, glazed over, never quite finding what she was looking at.

Y/N turned to look at me. She wasn’t as offended as she was concerned. Thanks for blowing it, mom. I could tell she wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but she was smart enough to know that it wasn’t quite right.

My mother spoke again. “Turn the kettle off and get her out of here, Richard.” She babbled. “I want you to do your homework, not this-”

“I don’t have any homework, mom.” I corrected her. “I told you that when I got home.”

She squinted her eyes at me, her eyelashes curling against her eyelids. “Don’t lie to me, Richard,” She tried. “You said that you had a science project, remember?” She sounded so sure of herself that it sparked pity in my gut. Pity for both her and myself and Y/N for having to watch it all unfold.

“That was last week, mom,” I mumbled. “Last week was the science fair. I had to carry my project four miles to the school and back. Remember?” I could feel tears threatening to spill behind my eyes, but I refused to cry in front of Y/N so I held them back. Looking at her gave me enough strength to subdue the urge to let them fly, but it also made me aware of her new expression. Her eyebrows turned up ever-so-slightly. She understood what was happening fully now, and she pitied me. She pitied poor, ignored Richard Tozier, who only craved knowing that his parents gave half a shit about him. She was as witty and observant as I was. I wondered if she also felt like she was too smart for her own good, and as she saw me wonder I saw her scheme.

Her eyebrows relaxed, her eyes gained a sense of confidence they didn’t have before, and the corners of her mouth turned up in a grin. I had no idea what she was planning to do, but the thrill of it was almost enough to send me over the edge.

“No, no,” My mother mumbled defiantly. “No that was today, Richard. I remember it like my own name and I won’t have you lie to me. Now go do your homework!” She tried to raise her voice but only hiccuped instead.

Before she could turn away to return to the den, Y/N stepped back towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist,  pulling me in. Suddenly she wasn’t herself. It gave me a strange sensation, like I was watching myself do a voice or host an impression. She became someone new.

“I’m sorry, Mrs.Tozier.” She cooed, one hand reaching up to pull off my glasses smoothly. “But I doubt that Richie’s gonna get to do any sort of work today.” My mother—though disoriented—was still coherent and fully noticed the handsy actions Y/N was putting out. Her face went red. “I’m afraid,” Y/N continued. “The only thing he’ll be doing today is-”

My mother had had enough. “Young lady!” She managed, though still slurring. “I’ll have you-” Hiccup. “Get your hands off my-” Another hiccup. “Off my son!”

Y/N laughed, and like that, I saw her plan in full light. It was brilliant. She was brilliant. “Oh, I can manage that,” She grinned. “The real problem is keeping Richie’s hands off of me.”

My mother yelped and tried to run out of the kitchen, but she could only manage a slumped set of lunges. “Oh, my!” She cried out. “I need another drink.” The thump thump thump of her crashing steps faded as she left Y/N and I standing together in the fluorescent-lit room.

I turned to Y/N, who was smiling so fiercely her cheeks strained to keep up. “That should get her to pay attention from now on, huh?” She laughed, but I stared in awe, hyper-aware that she hadn’t yet let go of my waist. I could feel her warmth radiating through my Hawaiian shirt. Suddenly the white lights didn’t feel so cold. The room didn’t feel so empty. My house no longer felt lonely. Y/N—with only her smile and her divine presence—filled the void of the house I’d been fighting to fix for years. My house was the sulfur mine, and Y/N was a million breaths of fresh air. I would’ve stood and stared until I died, if she hadn’t pulled away.

“Thanks for saving me from the cold, Richie.” She said, still grinning from ear to ear. “And I’m sorry if I just got you grounded, but I thought maybe-”

“I don’t care if she throws me out.” I interrupted, half aware that my mouth was moving. “That was the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Y/N smiled bashfully and looked at her feet. “It was my pleasure.” She assured. “But I should probably head out now. My parents will be worried if I’m not back soon.”

Her smile faded as I nodded. We made our way to my front door. She started to take the blanket off her shoulders, but I told her to keep it for the walk home. “Once again, Richie,” She smiled. “Thank you.” She leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. I could feel my face go red. She noticed my crimson cheeks and giggled, before stepping out the door, and just like that, she had gone as softly and abruptly as she had come.

“Holy fuck,” I said out loud as soon as the door shut. “Wait ‘til I tell Eddie.” I stopped for a second. “Oh, fuck, Eddie!” I took the stairs two at a time, raced back up to my room, and threw the phone up to my cheek so fast I almost took off my glasses. “Eddie! Shit, man I’m sorry dude.”

Eddie scoffed on the other end of the line. “That was a long time, Richie. Who the fuck was at your door?” He paused. “And if you say something witty like ‘It was Y/N, the hottie that I’ve been eyeing for months. We boned for a while until our love sparked a fire hardy-har-har’ then I will walk to your house and slap you myself, Tozier.” I laughed. Long and hard enough to get Eddie very concerned and very curious. “What the hell are you laughing about, Richie.”

And though it took some convincing and a promise or two, I made it through the story of the past twenty-five minutes. “Jesus Christ, Richie,” Eddie mumbled. I could practically see the dumbfounded look on his face. “I knew you had a crush on her, but shit, the way you’re describing her… Richie Tozier is a bastard in love, isn’t he?”

I laughed, but in surprise rather than amusement. No matter how much I liked Y/N, no matter how much I wanted to scream from the fucking rooftops that I would happily marry her, I would never tell Eddie that I was in love. Not willingly. I would never admit that I loved her—out loud, especially to anyone else—until I knew she felt the same way. “I’m not in love, you idiot.” I spat. “She’s just hot, you know.”

“Oh suure, Richie.” Eddie retorted sarcastically. “You’re not in love and my mother wants me to roll around in the sewers as a hobby.”

I laughed back at him, but it felt forced. I couldn’t let him know. Not now. Not yet.

July 1989

“Okay, so what?” I asked. Throwing my hands up and turning towards the alcove again. “So what if I said it, it doesn’t matter because she can’t hear me and even if she could, she wouldn’t understand.”

“That’s bullshit.” Eddie fought back. Though I was facing away from him I could practically see the scrunched, ‘Would you get a load of this guy?’ look on his face. “You know damn well that she feels the same way about you, Richie. Why would she help you with your mother if she didn’t care? You know she only lives a block away from you, right?” In honesty, I didn’t know that. I would have turned around to look at Eddie and ask how he knew but a piece of paper caught in the dead foliage demanded my attention, though that didn’t stop Eddie from talking. “She could have made it through that storm easily, but no. She remembered where your house was that one time you had that garage sale, remember Richie? She knew where you lived and she took shelter with you because she fucking loves you too, dip-shit!”

His voice sounded distant. It was like this paper, this flyer, had sucked in all of my senses. I reached the roots and plunged a hand in, clutching the sheet and pulling it out to reveal a face I saw every day in the mirror. It was my school picture. I was smiling up at myself through my glasses, which were nearly covered under my hair. At the top of the page, in massive, attention-grabbing, black letters was the word Missing.

My head clouded over as the room began to spin. Eddie was talking but I couldn’t hear him. I could barely hear myself wheezing. Air. Shit. Where the fuck did the air go? Suddenly I found myself craving the old, dusty air of the Neibolt house. I was choking for anything and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t assume control over my body. My heart was pounding so hard I could practically see it. Cold sweat was causing my glasses to slide down my nose, but with my aching hands grasping the paper I didn’t bother to fix them. My diaphragm tried to draw air in but it kept hitching in my throat.

“Richie?” Eddie called over, concerned. “Richie, you look really pale. Are you ok, dude?” I couldn’t answer. My tunnel vision was hyper-focused on the paper. I could feel myself beginning to black out. Eddie screamed something but fuck if I knew what it was. I was too busy shaking to figure it out. My knees were beginning to buckle underneath me and if it weren’t for the hands on either one of my arms, helping me sit down, I would have collapsed. Someone took the paper from my hands. I wished and I willed for my eyes to focus, and after a little while, they finally did. My eyes cleared to reveal Y/N. She had tossed the flyer off to the side and knelt beside me, her hands on either side of my face. She was staring into my eyes and though I couldn’t hear her, I figured she was pleading. Probably for me to calm down, or take a breath, or stay alive. Believe me, love, I thought. I’m trying.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop struggling. I wondered if Y/N had read the flyer and figured out why I’m in my current state. She was certainly sharp enough to do so. As if to prove me right, her voice broke through. “Richie, you’re here with us. Look. Look at us, Richie! You’re not missing!” She hit the nail on the head, and much like when she saved me in my own house, she was saving me now. It was as if I’d been trying to listen to her through fifty feet of water, drowning in the sea, but she managed to swim to my depth and pull me up again. I could see and hear and breathe and for the first time in the past forever I felt calm, though my heart was racing. I raised a hand and pointed at the Missing poster. “B-Buh-But I-I-” Eddie thrust his aspirator at me. I took it graciously.

“You’re here, Richie. You’re right here.” She shuffled forward on her knees and pulled me gently into her chest. “I know that this scares you, but if you ever went missing, the Losers and I would never stop until we found you. Understand?” I murmured. Y/N pulled away for a second to look in my eyes. “You understand that, right, Richie? We would risk life and limb to get you back if that’s what it cost.”

I nodded, still trying to gain my composure. She smiled. “Wanna hear a joke?”

I mustered a half-smile. “You-” Wheeze. “Bet I do.”

She chuckled. “What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?”

I stared at her for a second—who would’ve guessed that Y/N had any dirty jokes in her arsenal—then shrugged my shoulders.

“One’s a Goodyear, the other’s a great year.”

I let out a howl of laughter, hunching half in between my knees. Oh, I noted. There are my lungs.

“Fuck panic attacks.”

I smiled. “Y-yeah.” I squeaked. “Fuck” Wheeze. “panic attacks.”

Y/N laughed with me and then spoke. “How about we get you out of here, huh?” I nodded again. Y/N stood up and turned to Bill. “Could you help Richie outside?”

Bill nodded excessively. “Uh-of course.” He knelt down, slung my left arm over his shoulder, and helped me stand up. Y/N helped Eddie crack open the front door. They walked out first and explained what had happened to Mike, Ben, Stan, and Beverly.

“T-thanks” Wheeze. “for helping me, Bill.” I managed. “I r-really” Wheeze. “appreciate it.”

Bill chuckled softly. “That’s f-fine, R-ruh-Rich. I-I know p-puh-panic at-tacks can be s-ss-scary. Yuh-you’re just l-luh-lucky that Eh-Eddie yelled up f-for Y/N.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry for joking about you and Y/N earlier, I didn’t mean to-”

He cut me off by laughing. “Th-that’s ok, R-Richie. Y/N was w-wuh-worried about the j-jokes at first, but I just t-tuh-told her it was b-because you l-luh-love her.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean? I-I don’t love Y/N.” I shook my head and forced a fake laugh, but it was too late. Bill already knew.

“Th-that’s ok, Eddie. We c-could tell. Th-th-the hard p-part was convincing Y/N ab-bout it.”

“Y/N,” I had to stop myself from screaming. “Y/N knows?! Bill, I totally annoy her, why would the-” His furrowed eyebrows made me stop. “What?”

“You d-d-don’t know?”

I shook my head, lost. “Know what?”

“Y/N l-luh-loves you.”

For a second I couldn’t breathe again. I stopped walking and stared at him. “There’s no way.”

He laughed. “Shuh-she does, R-ruh-Richie” He said matter-of-factly. “Y/N told the l-luh-losers wuh-weeks ago.”

I stared at him. “Weeks ago? Dude, why didn’t anybody tell me?!”

“She w-wanted you to f-fuh-find out on y-your own, Rich.” Bill walked down the stairs and over to his bike. I made note that the rest of the Loser’s had picked theirs up too. Mike, Ben, Stan, and Beverly were all looking at me, concerned.

“You ok, Richie?” Mike asked. I nodded and then glanced at Y/N. She met my eyes and gave me a warm smile, taking the chill out of my chest.

I knew that Bill was telling the truth but there was no way in hell I could accept it. I looked at Eddie. You knew the whole time, didn’t you? I spat sarcastically in my head. Eddie turned as if he could feel my glare and looked back at me, the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. Asshole. I chuckled and then looked at Y/N again. She was on her bike, one foot on its pedal, ready to ride away. I remembered how she stood up for me in my house, how she radiated warmth and light, how she kissed wrapped her arms around me when I introduced her to the Loser’s and they let her join, how she was my breath of fresh air, both within my house and the Crack-Heads’. Jokes may help you in your sulfur mine of a house, Tozier, but they won’t help under water. I told myself. Go chase your air.

I knew exactly what I had to do. I scuttled down the Neibolt steps, across the lawn, and over to Y/N’s bike. Glancing at Eddie I could see his content expression. He knew what I was doing. Don’t flatter yourself, Eddie Spaghetti. I chuckled in my head before standing in front of Y/N’s bike, my hands on her handlebars.

She put her pedal-foot down and began to speak, but I cut her off. “Y/N, I-I’ve been meaning to… to tell you that… well… I-I kinda-” Once again I couldn’t get the words out, and upon further inspection, I realized that Y/N’s lips were on mine. This is the kinda silence I can get behind. I could taste her cherry chapstick and I could smell her shampoo and I couldn’t help but close my eyes before pulling away. It was as if I’d just taken seventeen thousand hits of Eddie’s aspirator.

“I love you too, Richie.” She chuckled. All I could manage was a wow. She laughed again but louder. I leaned in again to kiss her cheek but the moment was broken by Eddie’s screaming.

“I fucking told you, Tozier!” He yelled, a smile overtaking his face. The Loser’s—myself and Y/N included—burst out in a swell of laughter.

I walked over and gave him a noogie. “I guess ya did Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Richie!” Eddie squealed. “My hair, Richie!” I laughed, reached down, and grabbed my bike. Bill pedalled Silver forward, the first to kick up the gravel of Neibolt Street. The rest of the Loser’s weren’t far behind. With Y/N and I riding in the back, we headed into town. Along the way, I couldn’t help but stare at her. She loves me. Y/N loves the Trashmouth, and the Trashmouth loves her too. And so we rode through Derry, forgetting all about old houses, and dusty air and fucking clowns. Instead, I appreciated the warmth of the July sun, the smell of what Stan calls Phlox flowers, and Y/N, because thanks to her, I can breathe.

I fucking love all of you lovely readers and I wish you all the best in life.

With love,

E

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff - Unikitty!

WARNING: M&Ms and Honey Nut Cheerios in yogurt is the best thing you could do for breakfast. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

Sunshine! Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Positive vibes in an accurate state!

Hmm, a spicy series dedicated to a character from an amazing movie; said character is a magical unicorn kitten that is chipper, quirky, and boundlessly optimistic yet prone to short bursts of unbridled rage that rules over a vivid, colorful domain with her unicorn/puppy brother, her fox friend that is the kingdom’s staple wild scientist, her bodyguard whom is a hawk and crocodile hybrid, and her pragmatic and stoic royal adviser that is a literal grey blockhead? My god, is this not a valiant Sunday afternoon with a blessed trip to Eden full of color and style, kinks and dinks, curves and wiggles, pricks and spindly dead ends, with every flower dancing with elegance to the endearing melody of positivity under the eyes of human life’s chilling stare?

It’s an active victory road of surreal, easy-going entertainment! BUT...

I’m getting ahead of myself; I should at least present the possible cons this show could wring in the future. First, it’s upbeat, nonsensical nature can be a major turn off for those who are wanting more “serious” endeavors (esp. those who considered something like The Last Airbender on and want nothing more than for lightning to strike twice) and can find this obnoxious and loud. As a followup con, people might find Unikitty herself, a supporting, pretty minor, character from the popular Lego Movie, to be obnoxious with her generally manic demeanor; in addition to the track record of spin-off cartoon shows based on secondary characters nnnnggggnnnot being a pretty one. Now I will say, standard rule: this show won’t be for everyone, I’ll agree to that. And I have a bias towards liking gung-ho characters, won’t deny, but I can see that they’re not trying to have our main character steal the show all the time and have her in your face at all time; giving the others a spotlight. I can safely say this is better than other spin-off shows I’ve regrettably seen like [shudders] Planet Sheen, Adult Party Cartoon, or Shag and Scoobs: Get A Clue.

Like zoinks, Skooks. Where were you in 2006?

One last thing, and this has been bothering me a bit, people keep wanting to bring the Lego Movie and Teen Titans Go in when thinking about this because it’s made by people that made the Lego Movie and Teen Titans Go........[sigh] Y’know? This might be late, but I’m gonna speak small on this last part for a sec, if you mind? [deep inhale]

[exhale] A show from an existing property can provide continuity from said previous work; that is doable. However, and this might sound stupid, I see that Unikitty! takes place in its own realm, it’s own universe, so can we not judge it on its own unique merits until it actually brings ties from the Lego Movie into its show in some.......coherent way? Can we let it.....be its own thing? Furthermore, even when we’ve all had our thoughts on Teen Titans Go, is there nothing else we can compare it with to give it a....glass half full approach towards looking forward to it, since TTG is not the end all, be all for Cartoon Network? I mean, CN may have boosted TTG like the black plague, but has the show or the channel’s actions really plagued our minds with a level of pessimism that hype for new shows are met with a bleak to meh outlook? Now I will say this could be just Teen Titans Go with Unikitty slapped on it, or it could be a more child-friendly version mixtape between...

One of my favorite online cartoons

and one of the most perfected adult cartoons imaginable.

Dick Figures and Superjail! are what I love about cartoons. I can harp and sound intellectual about the best cartoons having a strong narrative, what the writers do with arcs and such, and so on; those are important elements. But honestly, if it’s competent and entertains me, I will be hooked. And if I can tell the creators are having fun with their work, I’m there with them and these two shows are prime examples. I could argue for hours on why Superjail worked so well. The episodes may not have added to any thought provoking lesson or idea, but they didn’t need to. They were simple, hedonistic adventures that had the art and animation to compliment it.

And the color to give ‘em their uniqueness

That is what I believe is channeling Unikitty! With those behind Dick Figures and the Lego Movie working on this, a serious surprise to me, I see they’re wanting to make our unicorn feline more than just a one note character while still giving her the characteristics of her movie appearance. Like the Warden from Superjail, they’re juggling an upbeat narcissist, a reckless yet capable leader, and a quick tempered yet sensible character all around. It’s not gonna be perfect, but then again...never expect perfection. The animation’s top notch, the coloring is not a sore to the eyes, they’re making the most of the character’s simplistic designs, the lego clicking sounds from characters is a clever detail but not a annoyance to the ears, and all technicalities aside, the sunny side attitude is just a plus for me, especially when I’m in a bad mood. The new year speaks for a positive stance of change, and I say Unikitty’s the character to boost a spirit or two. That’s what she’s all about and that’s why I say, benefit of the doubt, the show’s in good hands. Fun-filled effort put into a fun fulfilling show. Do give it a shot, support it and the other CN shows if you can/wish, and remember to stay positive.

Boops For The New Year

[moro-nokimi]

rewatch part 4

oh no i think this is the busjacking

does he really yank other shinigamis’ chains too

ugh, more fucking eyes. aaaaaaaaaaaaagh

SNORT. the timing

prissy bitch

why wouldn’t you think that ryuk wouldn’t have an ulterior motive though

(raye sulks home)

how did the shinigami realm get like that, though?

oh this is nightmare fuel. fridge nightmare fuel but still

SNORT

blah blah go talk to someone who gives a shit about your eugenics light

“once every millennia” not really? they just come down rarely. we know this

NO IT IS THE BUSJACKING

:(((

hey there’s ide

oh no it isn’t. semi thankful for that

that note reminds me of the rick roll poem

tuned out after the discussion of something we’re already familiar with

feel like i’m watching mindhunter but more fucky

YES THE RICK ROLL POEM

oh no

zoinks

noooooo

light yagami got the death note AND bitches

4.0 gpa and 4 bitches

nooooooooooooooooooooooo

i’m so tense i’m laughing at my own joke

PLEASE trip. PLEASE

one man

ah, the glory of public transport. i can smell the BO

haha

light just doesn’t give a shit?

MICHAEL ADAMTHWAITE?

he sounds completely different than ribbons almark but the exact same as rester. sad moments. but ig it suits them

“no cause for suspicion” :(

aw :( this is a genuinely happy moment

so much shit happens on public transport i’m just nonplussed

(raye voice) ah FUCK

i wonder how rare violent crime actually is in japan. like this

yeah okay buddy

raye just caught the idiot ball right in the face

i just physically smacked myself right in the head

oh my gawwwwwwwwwwwd he’s still talking

oh yuri :( poor girl

sure you do

why didn’t the FBI just give those agents fake IDs? 

hate to see it

he’s still goinnng ffs shut up osoreda

it’s a piece of papeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer chill the fuck out

aha

CINNAMON TOGRAPHY

GET DOWN FOR FUCK’S SAKE

HE HAS A GUN AND FAILED GUN SAFETY, GET THE FUCK DOWN

OH MY GOD

carrie_fisher_facepalm.png

HE START’S FIRING?

lol ryuk starts gloating

oh yikes that closeup

i remember when i clocked what gun nancy was using in stranger things season 3 bc it was the same one that osoreda used

he may be a top student but he’s grade A lacking in common sense for sure

oh gross, raye had to see some guy get hit by a car. OH NO YURI SAW TOO

this plan is really good though...

alumina again. still a banger

[theythemsam]

spn 11x06, liveblog, collected posts (all 14 of them) or as i like to call it: They grow up so fast, don’t they? *whipes sweat pearl from eyes as i try to keep the door to Amara’s room shut bc Oh Wow that girl is hungry* every moment is a joy!

I feel really sorry for Goldie, her parents sound like controlling assholes.

#but now without a soul shes prolly gonna kill her mum when she tells her she cant date again

 Cas has gotten into really bad tv… uffff

#man cant live on caviar alone… #hey uh cas have you watched the get down pose and black sails before getting into trashy reality tv? #cause if not im arresting you for homophobe crimes

 Cas having flashbacks and finally getting to show ptsd signals about all the shit that happened to him recently? Very nice!!!

 I knew the girl would try to kill her mum

 Ufff if I had a blindfold removed in this motel room I would wish for that blindfold back

#the wallpaper is so uglyyyyy

 Amara looking at cat pictures asdfgh She’s learning about the internet

#how funny would it be if Amara would just start talking in Internet Speech and confuse the hell out of Crowley #Amara eating a soul: Zoinks #Amara throwing someone across the room: Yeet #Amara smacking her lips obnoxiously after each meal: TastacionsTMTMTM #Amara when Crowley doesn’t let her eat all the souls: uhhh its called vore stop kinkshaming me?

 Metatron is such a douche

 “You hid it under your matress.” Asdfg Metatron you idiot man

 Metatron teasing Cas for being traumatized and then getting the shit beaten out of him… I Stan

 Ufff both Cas and Sam trying not to kill while being taunted by their enemies…

#im love em!!!

 OH NO

#ohhh yes! #god the cage visions excite me! #like on the one hand im like oh no Sam is hurting but on the other im like OHHH YES Sam is hurting!!!

 Amara is so creepy! Hey uh a) its creepy cause she’s so damn young (looking) but also b) Dean literally cannot consent to any of this and it makes it even creepier and c) Im Hate This

#will it ever be addressed?

 I see those fingers creeping outta that cage, I’m gonna chop em off

#on one hand I am excited for Lucifer bc sams trauma… on the other I am not bc I know its gonna be played as a joke and there will be so many rape jokes again and ahhhhhhhh #im really not in a position where I can actually allow myself to be triggered

 Asdfgh girl you’ll be a woman playing while Amara is walking down the street

#nice!!!

[wolf-skins]

millennial joel headcanons feat @fabulouslittlefox, part one:

wolf-skins sent a post other notable kid!mill... also this

fabulouslittlefox: GOD THANK YOU

wolf-skins you're welcome

fabulouslittlefox u think he listened to everybody by the backstreet boys? I'm feeling it....for some reason lmao

wolf-skins uh ofc he probably wanted to be in a boy band before he wanted to be just a singer

fabulouslittlefox CHRIST but did he have an emo phase ? for him I guess it'd be southern gothic 😂 (not really but I saw the opportunity and ran w it lmao)

wolf-skins lmaooo can u imagine a lil texan boy running around with thick black eyeliner and all-black clothes? i feel his emo phase would be more subtle if there was one

fabulouslittlefox YES he does acoustic covers of emo songs

wolf-skins yes

fabulouslittlefox also I bet that bitch was into rage comics

wolf-skins wears his hat low over his face while he does so + yes. yes he was so into the era of meme that* he thought that soulja boy era was annoying though

fabulouslittlefox god I wanna see fuckin Joel cover fuckin what a catch donnie on his goddamn guitar in a cowboy hat as he rides off into the sunset LMAO same

wolf-skins god yes i wanna see it too

fabulouslittlefox or fucking Evanescence God

wolf-skins YES YES OH MYGOD my immortal going under

fabulouslittlefox KGKSKFLXKSGKZMVMD fuckign Bring me to life

wolf-skins SOPT he probably went all for it in his covers like got SO into it

fabulouslittlefox I'm crying because I can see this happening

wolf-skins i know i know same do u think he put it up on youtube i kinda feel like he'd be a cover youtuber with a couple hundred subscribers

fabulouslittlefox um I think the fuck YES

wolf-skins just like a lowkey youtube cowboy singing cover songs passionately and dramatically

fabulouslittlefox please god that's all I want OK OK WHAT IF Tommy found his channel and saved all the videos and somehow got them to play off either like CDs or a USB drive (bc his town has electricity) and fucijgbshowed ellie

wolf-skins PLEASEUFKCING PLEASE joel was so grumpy about it he still wouldn't sing for her irl for the LONGEST time

fabulouslittlefox LMAO FKSKFOZKCNZ Joel disowns Tommy for a month bc of that

wolf-skins yes ellie would show the whole town until joel snatched whatever it was and broke it so Extra

fabulouslittlefox YES MCKSKCKS jokes on Joel tho bc Tommy has duplicates of everything

wolf-skins IUFGWOHI

fabulouslittlefox and the other one is locked up safe Until Joel is fast asleep then everyone Sees

wolf-skins yes good  joel just pouts over this for the rest of time too

fabulouslittlefox LMAO GOOD

wolf-skins ellie would start making texan accent mock jokes

fabulouslittlefoxwhen Ellie start learning guitar 🐚 start to play a song that Joel covered and mock his singing

wolf-skins if that sentence made sense

fabulouslittlefox MFKSKGOZKCKS

wolf-skins YES like that

fabulouslittlefox WHY IS THERE A SHELL IM

wolf-skins fucking mobile do u think

fabulouslittlefox Joel sings that song from SpongeBob that Sandy sings about missing texas

wolf-skins joel would be that tourist who got a conch shell + oh my god

fabulouslittlefox HE WOUDL THE MAGIC CONCH

wolf-skins when sarah found it as a really young child and pretended to be ariel he would act out as sebastian while she had a stuffed flounder and she'd hang up the "shell" on him

fabulouslittlefox oh my god plea s e,,,,,,,,

wolf-skins he sang this for her:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC_mV1IpjWA he'd try to mimic it but he could never get rid of the accent

fabulouslittlefox I literally cannot top this this is officially the cutest headcanon

wolf-skins i know

fabulouslittlefox and it hurts THAT MUCH MORE

wolf-skins I KNOW

fabulouslittlefox REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE u killed me liz

wolf-skins oh my god i'm gonna cry over sarah all over again her friggin card and her jokes she's so pure

fabulouslittlefox DONT CRYYYY I love Sarah sm my daughter whomst I only knew for like 5 minutes

wolf-skins ok but what song do u think was the first he finally sang for ellie irl (not like the videos which were Not to be Mentioned in exchange for it) + god i know

fabulouslittlefox hmmm hmmm would this include songs he taught her to play I'm guessing?

wolf-skins probably a cute lil acoustic song for ells

fabulouslittlefox YOU AR E MY SUNSHIN E THE FIRST ONS

wolf-skins NO YOURE KILLING ME

fabulouslittlefox YES

wolf-skins IM GOING TO CYR

fabulouslittlefox I KILLED MYSELF WITH THAT

wolf-skins i can already hear ellie singing it

fabulouslittlefox I KNWO HHHHHHHHH

wolf-skins ok but

fabulouslittlefox I have ANOTHER song that she would absolutely know/learn

wolf-skins what if one of them sang it to the other when the one was Really Hurt to make them feel better or something

fabulouslittlefox STOP IT LIZ IMAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

wolf-skins and like if that theory that joel is dead in tlou 2 and she sang it when he died

fabulouslittlefox stop it but also keep going bc I love pain

wolf-skins why do i do this to myself

fabulouslittlefox FUCKFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHHH I hope yr ready to catch these tears bih

wolf-skins he's all coughing up blood or something and she just holds his hand and sings it and begs that he stays bc she still won't let him go deliver them to me

fabulouslittlefox 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫IM WEW LADS IM DYIN TONITE

wolf-skins you know how i feel about hallucination!dads too so trust me i know if that is what happens in the next game i will Fucking Die ok next headcanon tho

fabulouslittlefox more music hcs ?

wolf-skins shore that's like sure but not

fabulouslittlefox LOL Goes well with my shell from earlier

wolf-skins exactly

fabulouslittlefox I can't remember if I've shared this b4 but the one hc I'll cling to forever is that Ellie learns on her own or is taught by joel landslide by Fleetwood Mac and that it's really relevant to her idk why I just love it sm

wolf-skins holy fucking shit um i always think of them or one of them playing that song so it's fucking canon imo also joel made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ZSX7eMGU0

fabulouslittlefox GOOD IM SO GLAD IM NOT ALONE W THSI fabulouslittlefox sent an audio post I Won... also THIS just came up on my dash and I feel it'd fit them too JOEL DID MAKE THAT CKSKGKSKC

wolf-skins JOHNNY CASH yeah i feel it joel probably was a huge cash fan

fabulouslittlefox PROLLY hes a huge cash fan but agrees that the NIN version of hurt is better

wolf-skins he probably loved playing Man Comes Around

fabulouslittlefox Dude I feel it

wolf-skins ok so jaz and i discussed he loved war docs but what other movies or shows do u think he would've loved

fabulouslittlefox Also I feel like he'd do a southern gothic cover of while my guitar gently weeps hmm

wolf-skins undoubtedly

fabulouslittlefox moonrise kingdom I feel he enjoyed that

wolf-skins ok what is that ok it's got bruce willis and u know what

fabulouslittlefox a Wes Anderson film about a troubled kid who goes to camp and runs away to find his love

wolf-skins joel would've loved bruce willis

fabulouslittlefox YEHA

wolf-skins do u think the taken movies were relatable to joel

fabulouslittlefox zoinks yes

wolf-skins he sure as fuck is like that in game

fabulouslittlefox speaking of zoinks I bet the fucker loved Scooby Doo RIGHT

wolf-skins "GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER" yells Joel an incorrect quote that is correct + yes he fucking did the classics

fabulouslittlefox watched the fuck outta boomerang and the old cartoons

wolf-skins https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u0-11E6x14 joel

fabulouslittlefox IM GONAB PISS OMVLEXKAKCKSN CANON

wolf-skins RIGHT ok i'm gonna copy this as a part one to put in my tag