#god knows this should be the exact moment i see this even tho my bday was yesterday

[aryomengrande]

smooches and hugs my dear!! 🍰🫂

GENNYYYYYY THANK YOOOUUU (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

[prydon]

a ( VERY LONG) long island geek rundown

aka me just rambling on about paul for paragraphs upon paragraphs, complete with pictures.

so i went to the con with the lovely @haiileyrutledge aka maggie who drove me all the way there from the philly bus station (god bless), it was our first time meeting in person and i still can’t really believe we did this just a few months after we were just kinda joking about going together on twitter when we hardly knew each other

literally the first second we walked into the con, before we’d even gotten our badges, paul mcgann was sitting RIGHT THERE at his autograph table and i may or may not have started aggressively hitting maggie in the shoulder and freaking out and hissing “he’s there, HE’S THERE” and she had to drag me past him so we could get our badges

then we sat in on the panel before his to make sure we got good seats for his. it was a panel with wendy padbury and frazer hines and they were adorable!! by the end of their panel we were literally buzzing tho bc we knew what was next

when paul came in the first thing he did was squint up at the ceiling and complain about the brightness of the lights, like “oh this is quite harsh isn’t it” so they turned them down for him, much to maggie’s chagrin bc she’s a photographer and it made it very hard to take nice photos (look forward to her uploading her photos btw, she got some GREAT shots regardless of lighting)

then we all sang happy birthday to paul, per the interviewer’s instructions! it was v cute. someone uploaded a video of it on youtube. (i took one too, but it was much worse quality)

first question the interviewer asked was what the secret to paul’s eternal youth was, which paul took a SUSPICIOUSLY long time thinking about before finally just claiming it was his insomnia. how not sleeping is supposed to make you look better i have no idea, but it’s clearly not hurting paul’s appearance, despite him “not having slept since the nineties” (his words)

and so on went the panel. it was quite fun, and though i’d heard almost all the anecdotes paul told before, they weren’t ones he’d told a million times and the interviewer asked interesting questions about his brothers and some of his earlier roles.

he also asked him about holby- the most recent episode, even- which i was not expecting lol. he asked paul if gaskell was really dead, and paul was just like “lol it’s a soap, who knows what could happen” and joked about another soap character whose death had turned out to be a dream. 

also of note is that paul never called gaskell by name once and exclusively referred to him as “doctor death” lmaooo. i actually know why this is- he mentioned on a radio show a week or so ago that a holby city fan yelled “doctor death!” at him in the street once- but he didn’t....explain this background to the panel audience, so i’m sure many were baffled by it :”D the interviewer was like “so your most recent role, professor john gaskell-” and paul was literally like “ah, yes. doctor death!” asoifjsaij what a dork

^ this pic is actually from the sunday panel but god, actual dork with a heart of gold paul mcgann being juxtaposed next to menacing shots of “doctor death” was never not hilarious 

speaking of holby, I GOT TO ASK HIM A QUESTION DURING THE Q & A, and i asked him what it was like working with guy henry! he said working with old friends is tough bc they know all your acting tricks lol. he went on gently roast guy and say he’s looked like he was 40 since they were at rada and that one of their professors told guy that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t find real success until he WAS like 40 bc he just had one of those faces, and lo and behold, that was case. notably, paul said all of this while holding eye contact with me since it was my question, and i was literally trembling by the end of his response bc i can barely hold eye contact with my family members let along PAUL JOHN MCGANN

he also said “fuck” at one point. at another he pulled the cap off his water bottle with his teeth and maggie and i were both like...*sweating*

after that we got our photo ops! then managed to get some food in us, and then i went to get paul’s autograph and give him his bday gift, which i already detailed here [x] so i won’t get into that. notably he also called maggie photogenic and said their photo op looked like a housewarming photo of a couple just moving in. we were both dying afterwards.

theeeen that evening i attended a dinner party for fans with vip passes that the stars also attended! the food was v yummy. there was ice cream too.

unfortunately i didn’t end up at paul’s table, but i was at the table next to him so i may have eavesdropped. my table had jon davey, who plays cybermen and daleks and ood etc, and who was very funny and decidedly attractive, and who at one point pulled out his phone and showed me this video while nearly dying of laughter over it

paul was actually late to the dinner because he crashed a painting panel!!

^ here’s him painting his tardis picture with his dorky ass reading glasses on. what an old man. i love him

he did show up eventually, and ended up drinking a decent amount of red wine and i’m pretty sure got tipsy and at one point misheard the person next to him as saying “penis hands” and was like “penis hands???? PENIS HANDS???”

all my table ended up leaving early but paul’s all stayed hanging on his every word bc that’s the effect he has on people :’)) so i ended up scooting over there just to listen. at one point his assistant came over and whispered to me that paul HAD gotten the letter i gave him with his gift and he WOULD read it tonight and i was like “omg no it’s ok, i didn’t need him to reply asap or anything, i just wanted him to have it!!”

i left the dinner when paul left- his table were the last ones out- and maggie was outside the dinner waiting for me and may have collapsed into a fit of giggles when she saw paul. then we went to our airbnb and fuckin CRASHED because we were so damn exhausted

on to SUNDAY

i started placing bets on what paul would be wearing that day on sunday morning, since i know he only has like three different con outfits that he wears. lo and behold we get to the con and he’s wearing THE EXACT SAME CLOTHES AS SATURDAY. like, down to the scarf and shoes. they were 100% the same.

idk why he was, but he must have washed them, or he must be an ethereal being incapable of sweating because he was just as nice and fresh as the previous day [shrug]

we wandered around the dealer’s room for a bit, maggie bought a vinyl from a charity sale booth and i bought a couple dwms with bb eight on them bc why not

my lovely internet friends and fellow paul superfans @savageinkspillage and @paulmcgannlesbian both paid me to buy them autographs, and i was happy to oblige because it meant i got to talk to paul again

i went up to his booth and he said “good to see you again!!” and told me he was so touched by the birthday card :”0 and thanked me again for the drawing!

i told him what names to sign to for the autographs and there was an incredible moment where i told him to address one to “brittany” and his brain like. short-circuited and he tried to spell it out to me except he spelled it some ridiculous white mom way like “B-R-I-T-N-I-Y” or something and i just stared at him for a moment not sure if he was fucking with me before being like “.....no?”

once i told him “two t’s” he got it and said “like the place!!” and asked me if i knew where brittany was in a stern teacher voice and i was p sure it was france but not 100% so i was just like “d-don’t quiz me”

he also let me take pictures of him holding the autographs that i could send to my friends, which was very sweet!! here’s him with @savageinkspillage‘s.

he was very determined that we let them dry before taking them because he didn’t want them to be smudged, and blew gently on them himself like a dork.

before we could go, he also fully just was like “give me a hug” and got up and hugged me AGAIN. THREE PAUL MCGANN HUGS IN ONE WEEKEND. T H R E E.

then after he hugged me he noticed the bowie vinyl that maggie had just bought in the dealer’s room and was like “!!!!!! is that a vinyl!!!! can i see!!!”

maggie was like “of course” and handed it over and he was FAWNING over the thing and promptly informed us that it was definitely an original print bc it was made of a special sort of material only used to make records in the 70s, and that it had never been played. maggie said she got it for $10 and he was like “TEN BUCKS??”

he also sniffed it because apparently “that’s what you did with vinyls” and took it out of its sleeve (with maggie’s permission) and freakin’ messed with it to show us how bendy the materal was before giving it back to maggie and emphatically telling her to “treasure that”.

he asked us where we got it and i said it was at a table in the dealer’s room, next to where they were keeping his painting from the night before. upon hearing about the painting he was immediately like “noooo don’t remind me of that!! i’m so ashamed!!” and i was like “WTH PAUL NO IT WAS SO GOOD”

here’s paul’s painting!! it’s lovely!!

also at one point maggie’s hoop earring fell out and full on, like, made a break for paul mcgann and rolled behind his chair. she was embarrassed but he just picked it up and messed with it, feigning putting it on his ear and saying he wished he was a girl so he could wear earrings like that and i was like “you should get your ears pierced!” because he SHOULD. he just laughed.

we literally had a whole, like, probably 10 minute conversation with him and he was just so lovely and funny and warm and thanked me one last time for the drawing before we walked away soasifjsaoifj 

THEN it was time for his sunday panel!! it was a great change of pace from usual panels, it was called “doctor’s orders” and run by a podcaster who’d based it on advice columns- basically, he asks paul a bunch of questions looking for advice that he’d gathered from fans and paul had to impart his wisdom.

here are just a few choice tidbits from the panel:

q: what do i do if my boyfriend never puts the toilet seat down? paul: get rid of him

q: there are beehives in my house, what do i do?? paul: don’t kill them!! bees are our friends. move out. let the bees have the house instead

q: boxers or briefs? paul: briefs. *pointed look at audience* some of us need the support.

he was asked the trolley problem and said without hesitation that he would move the trolley to kill the one instead of the five. he also endorsed stealing from businesses to feed the hungry (unsurprising because *cough* he’s a socialist). he revealed that he shoplifted all the time as a kid as a right of passage in working class liverpool and asked the audience to raise their hands if they’d ever shoplifted. when a decent amount did, he called it a sign of a healthy society. he doted on his sons quite a bit which was adorable, and said he was the “soft touch” when they were growing up while mum was bad cop.

at one point he said if liverpool won the premiere league he’d “sit naked here in front of you” and then immediately was like “...i don’t know why i said that.” the audience was roaring with laughter the entire time. it was legitimately the funnest panel i’ve ever been too :’0 and we had front row seats!!

at the end, the host opened the panel up to the audience to ask their advice questions, and maggie asked one about how to survive while studying abroad in london next year. paul gently ribbed her at first being like “well, remember to sleep and eat” but then reassured her “you’ll be fine” and i could physically feel her melting beside me.

after the panel he chatted a bit with the women next to us, who i know to be old guards of paul mcgann fandom. i didn’t hear much but i did hear paul refer to “that brexit shit” lol.

the last time maggie and i saw paul, he seemed to be leaving the con and nearly tripped over a remote control cybermat on the way out, which was cute.

all in all...i really don’t have words for how amazing this was. i couldn’t have asked for a better environment to meet my favorite actor in, and i have gained so many wonderful memories that i can’t even keep track of them all, and i can’t wait to do it again.

[kookiebluey]

Wlog for the BTS London concert on the 10th💓

Just so I don't forget, I’d like to write down how I felt b4, during and after the BTS concert on the 10th💜

 I remember it wasn't a chill day at all, and I went to tutorials and lectures in the first half of the day. Can't say that I'm extremely excited cuz I was never really hyped for anything. It's not because I didn't like BTS enough, it's the fear of expecting too much and end up getting disappointed somehow. Well, I guess I was wrong and I could have looked forward to it even more xd

 I went back home after the computational lecture ended, then packed up my stuff (which was partly packed the nite b4) as quickly as I could. When I thought everything was settled, I realised that my parcel has arrived and I haven't printed my ticket yet. Everything was done in a hurry, and I left home at 2:05 for a 2:15 train.

 On the train, I was still kinda calm and had a look thru my notes from class. Then I spent the rest of the time sleeping and imaging how would I feel when I actually meet them at the concert. Would it feel like how it was in my dream? Or would it be something completely different?

 I arrived at London and google mapped how should I get to O2 arena cuz hahah I had no idea. Everything went by smoothly and I even managed to follow someone with a "jungkook 98" shirt when I sort of got lost hahaha.

 I took pictures of boards that were at the station and made a call to see where Joey is. Joey was already queuing. Lol up till this point, I kinda hoped that I've vlog-ed this. Its gonna be so much fun going back and rewatching everything. Anyways, Joey introduced me to her friends and we went on talking about what we could do inside. She prepared everything for me - like the lightstick, batteries, telling me they wouldn't really go thru my stuff hence its ok if I had a lot of stuff with me lolz

 We finally got in and we went up to get some drinks (which I didn't). I said bye to Joey (cuz we sit in different areas) and went to the toilet to change into a black T-shirt I got from Korea (haha I know its an unnecessary fact).

 Then, finally, I entered the arena and managed to find my seat. Sadly, on my seat, there's this girl that wanted to sit with her fd and would trade for a seat that's much further away from the stage (honestly wtf). I insisted that I'd like to keep my seat and eventually she gave in.

 I then had conversations with her fd (ie the person next to me now) and she went on about how she coped with their concert yesterday at the pit. She seemed to be a really old fan and had went to a lot of the functions in the past. I don't entirely agree but I said nothing hahah (I mean whats the point in arguing - its not like Im gonna see her after this).

 The fans were really hyped and they sang fanchants in every MV that came up at the arena. Love to see how the staffs' expressions are hahah - they'd be like wtf BTS is not even here what are u guys on about? Hahah bro I feel u I felt the exact same thing xd

 Finally it hit 8pm and the concert is about to start. They came out after a series of promo vids and after a marvellous stage arrangement. It was really hyped and it really lits up your mood. Just imagine someone really calm like me (ie calm during clubbings and all) getting really hyped and stuff hahah~

 I was really worried that I could bearly see Jungkook cuz he got injured and might stay at the main stage. BUTTT he actually brought his chair to the extended stage and sat at my side of the stage!!! Don't get me wrong, but I might have saw him better just cuz he was sitting the whole time xd

 It's that feeling when something that's on ur screen, on your wall or even in ur dreams (but is somehow non existing in ur life) suddenly was in front of you. I guess I was just 20 steps away from them if there were a platform from my seat to the extended stage. It was so close and you could see their facial expression so clearly. Even tho I couldn't make a heart or anything (cuz its embarrassing), or even get eye contacts, its still like a dream come true.

 I could see their little interactions right in front of my eyes, and hear their voices live. All of the members did a magnificent job and I honestly fell in love with every one of their performances. If I did said anything about having a bias and all, its really nothing like that anymore. I like every member and they are all so good looking (omg Jin is sosososososososo handsome I cannot).

 Standing for a total of 2 hours but it felt like 15 mins. Every song sounded so much more better live, and seeing them dancing so so close to you. It's a moment when you feel they are actual human beings - not cartoon, not animations.

 Jimin's performance actually did hit me - he was so attractive omg!! He also so cute when he looked around to try to interact with any fans that tries to catch his attention!

Jhope, Suga and Rapmon's performances were so lit!! Even tho they were never my favourite, they look so much more better in person!

Jungkook got injuried, so he sat down on a chair the whole time. But his voice was so angelic - and hahah I caught that moment when he forgot to sing a line - cuteeee. His interaction with his hyungs were also adorable - I love how they involved him even tho he couldn't dance, and he also tried to join in the dance even on the chair xdd - the thing is, he is a little conserved and he do not have actual interaction with any of the fans - but that's him and it isn't necessarily a good or bad thing. (btw JK look exactly like in photos and videos and thank god he decided to sit at my side of the stage on the day of my concert)

Jin, as what I've said, is so attractive omg!! He is THE VISUAL - no doubt  - he is stunning in person!!

V has his own charm as usual. He also looks exactly the same in phots and vids - and I caught the cute moment when he smiled at JK and start dancing his part hahah he also got "shot" by a fan's heart (I believe) and pretended that he got shot on stage - hahahah so freakin cute

 They all had really natural expressions during performances - and you couldn't imagine how could a person look so good in any angle and at any moment - its almost like calculated moves - and they are photogenic at every point of their performances -

What I had to do is to pick out moments that my camera didn't went out of focus or pointing at a wrong angle - they look fab in every single moment - no joke

 Ok so the conclusion is I was totally enjoying every moment and did not felt bored at any point of the concert - like not even slightly

I only wish time went by slower cuz I couldn't grasp all the moments that I'd like to record on my phone or to be aware of

 So I could tell Jungkook was a bit depressed in general but at least he didn't cry like how he did in the last concert - I really feel bad for him and thank god he didn't perform - I have a feeling I'm gonna be even more depressed cuz I'll miss his performance the most hahah

 Anyways then the concert ended and I asked every possible person to send me their vids. But honestly the ending was so sad. I actually felt like crying, but I didn't cuz I stopped myself from anticipating the concert too much in the first place, and therefore the contrast wasn't as great.

 Joey was really really depressed and I totally get it. Never thought you'd feel so at lost after you went to a concert you love. Its that feeling that "yeah they're right in front of you but now we had to take that back". Its really hopeless and you suddenly realised they are really superstars.

Its not like I wasn't aware of that fact that they are actual stars, but this reality hit you really hard when youre in a concert. There were so many armys and they wouldn't even know that you've existed. Its sad that they were so close and now you've understood that they are not your fds (even tho they seem like it in vids) but actual stars that are so out of reach. The contrast of being so hyped then falling back down to the bottom of the valley (hhaha its so different to the feeling of riding a roller coaster when going down is the best part).

 I love you BTS❤ even tho you'd never know our existence. They are truly remarkable and loved by so many.

 So moving on from this sad topic (XD), I met joey on the next day and convinced her to take a pic of me at an enormous wall with a print of BTS poster. I was kinda shy and couldn't really take a good pic until after a couple shots. We then had flat iron and it was a great restaurant - would really want to go again! We then attempt to take pretentious shots (which joey succeeded, and I hahah obviously failed) and had desserts. We then left to catch the train - but Joey lost her Oyster card:( She said something weird would always happen when shes with me ahahha I wonder why xd

 Yah so this was my marvellous bday gift - cant explain everything in short sentences, but I was so submerged into bts music right after the concert. You could literally think of nothing, do nothing, but listen to their music and rewatch the videos. I really want to keep the solid memory of the experience I've had at the concert - and pls don't forget it!!

 PS I really owe joey a lot cuz she persuaded and helped me to get the ticket. She got a JK fan for me, knowing I'll regret for sure! She knew me too well and at some point in life we do have to live like a teenager when we are teenagers rt? xd

Add-on: OMG so V went to flat iron too - honestly, how could they just walk into a restaurant w/o getting a room or anything, literally, just a table in which anyone could have sat on and anyone could have bumped into them. Sadly he didn’t go to the restaurant I went nor the time I went (I believe) but still happy cuz we had the same food ahahaha