#go awf man go awf

[brimstoneclone]

just kurt wagner things

[beepawz]

I made memes based on my Peter Parker/Transformers Earthspark crossover.

PCG stands for “Peter’s Cybertronian Guardian” as I still haven’t decided if it’s gonna be an actual tf cannon character or an oc (if cannon i have no idea who would fit best). Also there’s reference to another crossover idea I had that I’m incorporating in this as well.

Links to other posts:

A Witwicky Fresh Start

Wakanda Cybertronian Refuge Idea

AWFS Meme Batch 2

[mjj-nostalgia]

you know, I admittedly don't listen to Man In The Mirror as often as I certainly should, but MAN -

Whenever I hear it, Michael's vocals sound so majestic. Like it gets me every time. I'm like YOU BETTER SING!!!!

And don't get me started on when he sings words like "reeeealiiiiiyyyze"

Incredible.

[eclipsecrowned]

watching the bestie have away with words to express what i also feel but stumble over trying to say re: rep in an adaption.

[wittyworm]

i feel so confused and inside out. im hoping tomorrows Adderall adventure is more productive. today it felt like the adderall gave me a chance to relax my brain from the chaos only to realize. things are looking very. bleak. stressful. i dont know what the next few days will bring . for shorty. for me if i dont get these fucking jobs. i cant make art cause i lost all my shit when my ipad broke. i dont feel safe at home. i hoope shortys SS deposit comes through like they said. or else we are gonna have to get like the cops and lawyers involved.........................................................

[yappacadaver]

someone in the tags said "coffeeshop au level writing" and they are so right

the majority of veilguard reads as someone's very comfortable very self-indulgent fanfiction with the stakes and worldbuilding to match. Morality must be black and white, all our companions must have any potential edges completely sanded down, none of the designated "good guys" can ever meaningfully conflict with each other, "bad guys" must be easily distinguished through goofy voice filters and villain laughs, lore dealing with icky yucky prejudice or conflict must be completely ignored, because to do otherwise would be to leave the infinitesimally small comfort zone of the world's most sensitive hobbyist writer.

[snowflakeb0ttles]

have a headache and im being so brave about it everyone clap

[peachetteprice]

Slightly, I must admit, slightly obsessed with the idea of meeting Soap after a long reconnaissance and subsequent mission in a pub in Hereford, thinking he's a hunk of a man (possibly because he is) who happens to sip his beer like a slut and shoot you bedroom eyes despite barely even knowing your name.

Johnny, his name is. You learn it during the taxi ride back to his hotel, watching his cheeks become a fervent, dreamy red as you take him by the hem of his shirt and snog him like a woman crazed.

It isn't the first time you've chatted your way into a man's underwear, but it is the first time you're crumpled on your knees between his thighs as his hips push up into your abdomen, whining like a kicked puppy.

‘Take ‘em awf, lass,” he whimpers, gloss-eyed as you shove your palms beneath his shirt, ignoring the way his throat bobs, overflowing with saliva at the thought of you either going down on him, riding him until he cums, or a mixture of both, perhaps one after the other if he's fortuitous.

Yer a fucken’ tease, his head tips back as you rub the ball of your hand beside his pelvis, feeling his thighs flex under your hand.

Yer lucky I'm too tired to set ye straight, he moans as your fingers burrow into his boxers, thumb circling the perimeter of his weeping head.

Will ye let me ‘side yer mouth when I cum, yeah, bonnie? He begs, cheeks puffing with oxygen as you finally drag your tongue along his pulsing cock, travelling along a vein to reach the source of his desire, committing the sound of his stifled grunts as his thighs twitch, and his cock seeps warm cum onto your uvula, in case it's the last you'll ever hear of him.

| Masterlist |

[bunnyreaper]

a highland warrior of the mactavish clan is there when you need him most.

(18+/MDNI, attempted noncon)

one minute, everything was fine, just a part of your normal routine foraging in the woods--the next, your world was turned upside down. 

you should've known better than to wander further than usual, beyond the glade which the alderman had warned you several times not to go past. 

you're leaning over, inspecting the pretty little flowers on the ground, when your face is pushed into the dirt, your arse forced into the air as your skirts are forced up and over your mound. 

"and what do we have here but the finest flower of spring?" 

you scream as you kick and squirm, desperately scrambling to find purchase on the ground in a way that will allow you to wiggle free--but the man above you, his accent familiar, is so much stronger. your shift is up as you scream yourself hoarse, fat tears ripping from your eyes in anticipation of what's to come. 

"it'll be much easier if you don't fight me, sweetness." 

time freezes as you hear a metallic clink--what your fear-addled mind assumes to be a belt buckle, until a strong, scottish accent cuts through the forest. 

"this'd be much easier if i cut ye wee english prick right awf." "off 'er, did nae one teach ye manners? and ye say we're the savages." 

"don't kill me." 

you dare to glance over your shoulder, slowly turning until you see your assailant, head tilted back with a sword right to the column of his throat--and behind him, a crazed scotsman, baring his teeth just as he bares his sword. 

the man atop of you slowly pulls off of you, moving so slowly as to not catch his throat on the sharp blade. the highlander pulls him to his full height, almost dangling by his feet as he balances in the brawny arms of the much bigger, stronger warrior. 

the sword slides along the rogue's throat, enough to draw a trickle of blood but not much more, before it falls to the side of both men's bodies.

"now, i suggest ye run before i cut ye down proper." he growls, kicking the man away as his scrambling figure almost collapses into the dirt, much like you had. the highlander lurches forward, swiping the tip of his sword expertly to lash down the other man's back--a precision strike just to wound, not enough to stop his mad dash away and out of the clearing.

you try everything within you to steady your breathing as you lay, exposed, watching your saviour watch the other man's retreating figure.  

"i willnae turn round until ye decent, lassie." he announces, his gaze unwavering from the faraway treeline. 

your limbs move shakily as you reach behind you, desperate to pull your skirts back over your rear and regain some sense of your dignity. when you're covered, you cough softly, trying to indicate that you're decent enough for the man to turn back around. 

his first order of business is helping you to your feet, brushing off as much dirt as he can from your dress, and trying to offer you his most reassuring smile.  

you gaze upon him--admiring his fine, strong arms, inked with celtic knots, and surely thick thighs hidden beneath the drape of his tartan. what most strikes you is the kindness in his deep blue eyes, despite being obscured by a jet black warpaint. 

the sense of safety that washes over you is... strange.

"name's mavtavish, john mactavish. yer safe now, bonnie girl."

[neptunesgrl]

Things that my redacted favs do that are true because I said so

SWEETHEART, LASKO, GUY

SWEETHEART:

- Calls Milo angel in private, had a couple drinks and it ended up slipping out in front of the pack. David looked very confused for the rest of the night and proceeded to call SH in the middle of the night to say “what do you know”, “what did they (Angel) tell you”, etc. Angel found it incredibly amusing.

- Drinks scotch. Rarely, since it makes Milo uncomfortable. They had it in their apartment once and after they’d learned of his father’s struggle with it, they made sure to keep it out of sight when he came over. Hasn’t bought a bottle since they moved in.

- Reverse pick-pockets everyone. Hates when people make a big deal out of apologies or big emotional things. Their way to avoid it is to make silent apologies. Often but not limited to leaving a couple hundreds in their wallet, cause we all know SH makes bank.

- Nicknames for Milo include: Mi, angel (as previously mentioned), hun/honey, babe.

- Takes the NYT crossword incredibly seriously and looks forward to it more than they’d like to admit

- Raised in New England. Hopes to move back if they decide to have kids, that is until they gain their powers, and need to move back to Dahlia.

Side note: Their child listening to ‘California’ by Chappell Roan on full blast in their room and giving SH war flashbacks

- Has gained a slight NJ/NY accent from Milo. Slips out when they get mad. Specifically with the words: ‘jackass’, ‘told her (so i told ha)’, ‘off (awf)’, ‘call (just cawl me)’, etc.

LASKO:

- Constantly holding Dear’s hand. At first, it was difficult for him to initiate, but once he realized it was the least embarrassing thing he could ask for, it became habit. Sometimes Dear slides their thumb to his wrist to check his pulse when he’s nervous.

- (UNEMPOWERED AU) Dear is an EMT. Sirens used to startle and disturb Lasko, now he finds comfort in knowing Dear is getting to save people (corny and tooth rotting fluff ik)

- Once, Lasko wore Dear’s fleece that went with their uniform since they’d left it at his place and it was too cold to go out without one. It took him 10 minutes of pacing at the front door to go outside and grab the food he ordered. Just in case someone on the 2 second walk down there would need medical attention and thought he could help since he’d be wearing the EMT jacket.

- He owns every single PJO book and shamelessly reads them at least once a year. He’s in the Zeus cabin (obviously). Grover’s his favorite, because in his words, “he’s the only one worried about the logistics.”

- ‘Guilty as Sin?’ is THEIR SONG. I will not be taking any criticisms at this time or ever. It’s just the lyrics about feeling guilty for thinking about the other in that way. Like are you kidding me. ‘I’ve screamed his name, building up like waves’ DEAR WE KNOW ITS YOU IN THE WRITERS ROOM.

GUY:

(these are mostly fem leaning i am so sorry)

- Watched The Real Housewives. Insists Jersey is peak, Honey agrees. They take the finales very seriously. Honeys favorite is Margaret, Guys favorite is Melissa. He insists Honey and him are exactly like Joe and Melissa. I have RHONJ brainrot save me.

- Uses a sleep eye mask from dollar tree that says ‘nap queen’ on it. Found it in Honeys childhood bedroom.

- Raised in NYC (Brooklyn), insists he knows how to use the subway and always gets lost. Honey cracked the code within 2 days.

- Had headgear in high school. No further explanation. That’s it. That’s the HC.

- Child of…

🥁

🥁

🥁

dddiiivvvooorrrccceee!!!! i’m projecting He is so Chandler Bing coded don’t lie.

- Somewhere down the line, he’d like to write a book about him and Honey. Whether they work out or not. Very “You were a wonderful experience” / “You were…everything.” coded. Can you tell that not only am i awful at it, but I hate angst?

- Love letters EVERYWHERE. On dressers, in nightstand drawers, on the windshield of Honeys car, this man will find anywhere to put one of the many notes he has written gushing about his partner.

☕️📰🤍

This has been in my drafts for so long I feel emotional posting it. Please take good care of my baby.

[pelova4president]

That stupid smile of hers I

Esmee Brugts x nedwnt!R

II of that stupid smile of hers

summary~ In which y/n gets to go to the World Cup and falls in love with the girl with that stupid not so stupid smile.

I play for Arsenal but have been benched for most of the season. So when I got called up for national duty I was surprised, to say the least. But after all that happiness and surprise came the nervousness. How could I, y/n y/l/n who turned 18, just weeks ago get a call up for the Oranje Leeuwinnen. Sure, I’ve been the topscorer for the u23’s euros and Vivianne Miedema has torn her ACL, I’ve seen her stuggle, cry and achieve big milestones along the way. But she wasn’t going to make the world cup and everyone knew it.

The Netherlands needed another top scorer, they needed y/n. And that’s exactly what her coach, Andries Jonker told her.

A few days later the list of names that would go to the world cup was posted on the Oranje Leeuwinnen socials.

(pretend that you’re Vivianne Miedema)

y/n_y/ln, OranjeLeeuwinnen, AWF

liked by victoriapelova and 12.598 others

y/n y/l/n has been called up for her national team and will attend the world cup.

comments

leahwilliamsonn congrats, you deserve it!! ❤️

viviannemiedema trots op je 🥰

victoriapelova 😍😍

esmeebrugtsfan1 can’t wait to see her play

y/nballer69 so well deserved 🪄⚽️

I know a few of the girls. Well okay, I know all of them but did they know me?

I’ve played with Vicky in England, both of us playing for Arsenal and befriending almost immediately. Viv was the first one to welcome and introduce me to the whole Arsenal squad. Her and Beth took me in, just like they did with Vic and that’s just how I found myself playing fifa with Vic till morning. It was safe to say that I liked her company.

I knew a few of the other dutch girls playing in England, chatting with them when they played against us. Viv and Vic told me stories about camp life and the Olympics, about how vic won almost every table tennis game and was annoyingly good in chess, about Daan and her pranks and about Esmee Brugts, the annoyingly good footballer.

I’ve watched her, making the goal that got us to the world cup. I’ve watched her play for PSV back in The Netherlands. The goals she made, the way she just plays past everyone like it’s nothing, god it’s annoying. How could you be that good and so humble. And those stupid smiles she gives the camera after she scores, it’s so annoyingly cute.

So yeah, I had asked Vic and Viv about Esmee and they somehow got suspicious of how much I wanted to know about her. “Oh, ik ben gewoon geïnteresseerd. Ik moet iedereen toch een beetje kennen voordat we twee maanden in Australië zitten” (Oh, i’m just interested. I have to know everyone a bit before we go to Australia for two months) Viv and Vic just looked at each other and broke out into laughter.

Vic and I went to Zeist, to camp. It wasn’t that long of a flight but it felt like hours. Vic could feel the nervousness radiate off of me and put her hand on my leg that was tapping away annoyingly. “Oh mijn god y/n! Wat is er aan de hand man?” (Oh my god y/n! What’s going on mate?) Vic asked me. I just waved away the question and stared out of the window since I kind of sabotaged Vic to get the window seat.

We were greeted by someone from the staff that drove us to our camp. And just like every national teams socials does, the players got photographed at their arrival.

(pretend that you’re Jill Roord)

OranjeLeeuwinnen

liked by viviannemiedema and 9.484 others

one arrival you’ve all been waiting for 🥁

comments

lynnwilms_ the cold never bothered me anyway 🎶❄️

brugtsfan33 can’t wait to see the y/l/n and brugts linkup

↳ y/l/nballer5 me neither, this world cup’s gonna be amazing

Walking into the big hall, Vic behind me, I was starstruck. Everyone was already there, Roord, Van de Donk, Martens and even Brugts.

Vic pushed me and whispered in my ear “Kom op, je hebt nog twee maanden de tijd om naar dr te staren” (Come on, you have the next two months to stare at her) I started to get red and looked around checking if anyone heard us. Seeing this, Vic just started to laugh even harder. I pushed her and walked over to Kerstin who I knew from matches against City.

Kerstin was kind enough to introduce me to everyone. Shanice who played at Liverpool came launching at me, ready to pick me up. “Klein monster, je bent er!” (Little monster, you’re here!) she yelled and picked me up while hugging me tightly. I congratulated her with the announcement of her girlfriend’s pregnancy and went on to greet everyone.

And to my surprise, there’s still was someone I hadn’t met yet. Esmee Brugts. Before I could even walk towards her Andries started to speak.

He thanked everyone for coming, got into his very serious speech and ended with who would room with who. “… Vic en Merel, Jill en Shanice en last but not least y/n en Esmee” (… Vic and Merel, Jill and Shanice and last but not least, y/n and Esmee).

I was hoping to be roomed with Vic, having spend the last few months with her in Viv and Beth’s house. That was too much to ask apparently, but Esmee, now the universe is just trying to get back at me.

I awkwardly looked up in search for Esmee. When i found her she was staring at me already. She gave me one of those dumb smiles she gives the cameras. I gave her a tight smile back before i turned to Vic who was sitting next to me. “Dit lijkt wel een realityshow, veel succes sukkeltje” (This is almost a realityshow, good luck loser) and with that she walked away to grab her suitcase and went settle in with her roomie.

When i saw Esmee talking to Lieke i saw my chance and went to our room. It was like all the other rooms i’ve stayed in for national duty but definitely bigger. I wanted to take a look at the bathroom which was way bigger than I expected. The rainshower being the best part of it all.

Walking back into the bedroom Esmee was already getting settled on the bed by the door.

“Hi” she said sheepishly. “Hey” i smiled back, god why was i already getting red in the face. “Ik heb fifa meegenomen, wil je spelen?” (I brought fifa with me, do you wanna play?) she asked me opening her backpack to get something out. “Ja, alleen als je tegen je verlies kan. Ik ben fifa kampioen in Engeland” (Yes, only if you’re not a sore loser. I’m the fifa champion in England) I told her. She laughed at me and got the game out.

A few games of fifa and a whole lot of laughing further and it was time for dinner already. Jackie was the one knocking at our door and yelling for us to come.

Esmee had won multiple times after i won the first round but i’ll never admit that to anyone. “Rematch after dinner.” I told her and she just nodded and went to sit at the table with Daphne, Jackie, Kerstin, Daan and Damaris. I sat between Vic and Jill. Vic gave me one of her smug smiles and i just rolled my eyes at her.

“Dus y/n, hoe vind je het tot nu toe?” (So y/n, how do you like it so far?) Merel asks me. “Het is goed, ik ben blij met m’n nieuwe roomie, gelukkig niet zo’n slechte verliezer als jij” (It’s good, i’m happy with my new roomie, luckily not such a sore loser like you). Merel huffed “Ja tuurlijk alsof jij hebt gewonnen, ik check dat later nog wel” (Yeah sure as if you’ve won, i’ll check that later)

esmeebrugts

When iopened instagram this wasn’t what i expected. I ran up to my room and saw Esmee watching some Netflix show on her bed. When she saw my face she bursted out laughing. “Als blikken konden doden..” (If looks could kill..) she said. I walked straight to her bed, jumped on her and started tickling her. “Dat is wat je krijgt, ik moet mn fifa imago hoog houden!” (That’s what you get, i got to keep my fifa image high!) I yelled. “Oke oke! Ik zal het nooit meer doen pinky zweer!” (Okay Okay! I will never do it again pinky promise!) she told me with that stupid smile of her. I stopped and looked down at her, how is she even this pretty like come on.. Esmee looked me in the eyes, at my lips and then away. I got nervous and backed up.

“Uhh ja d-dus ik ga nu dus ik ga even iets uhh ja ik ga gewoon oke..” (Uhh yeah s- so im gonna get like some uhh yeah i’m just gonna go okay..) I mumbled and ran away bumping into Daan who was walking to her room.

Before we knew it we were off to Sydney, Australia. Vic forced me out of my window seat but slept before the plane was off the ground, what a waste of that window seat.. This was gonna be the most boring and long 24 hours of my life.

I was so tired when we landed, only getting a few hours of sleep. We were welcomed by a few staff members from fifa and went into the coach who would bring us to our basecamp.

I chose the best window seat i could find and expected a certain Arsenal player to sit next to me but Esmee beat her to it.

We talked about what we wanted to do in Australia, our opponents and family. When Esmee asked me about life in the wsl i was already fast asleep, my head resting on her shoulder.

Esmee looked down at y/n and started smiling. Vic saw the interaction and tapped Daan on her shoulder. They gave each other knowing looks and started giggling away. Esmee looked up and saw the duo staring at her, she went red at the idea of being caught staring at y/n. She turned her head quickly and stared out of the window, falling asleep not long after.

When i woke up i heard giggling and saw Vicky and Daan looking at Daans phone. I chose to ignore it and went on to look at my instagram feed.

daniellevddonk

“Danielle van de Donk, Victoria Pelova. Het maakt me niet uit hoe klein jullie zijn ik maak je dood” (Daniëlle van de Donk, Victoria Pelova. I don’t care how small you are i’ll kill you) I yelled maybe a little too hard because Esmee woke up. “Hey wat is er aan de hand?” (Hey what’s going on) she asked me, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. I showed her Daan’s story and she just shrugged “Awh zo erg is dat toch niet, je ziet er schattig uit” (Awh it’s not that bad, you look cute). I don’t know what came over me but i just started to blush and looked away making Vic and Daan laugh even harder.

The rest of the camp went smoother than i thought. I was roomed with Esmee and we did almost everything together. We played fifa, boardgames, sat at the same table and if it wasn’t that we were out exploring together. Most of the time we just got lost but that’s when google maps comes in handy.

We ended first in our group. Esmee making those two beautiful goals against Vietnam and I made my debut and debut goal.

When Andries announced that i was starting against Vietnam i was over the moon. The game started good with Lieke making the first goal in the 8th minute and Katja the second in the 11th. Esmee saw her chance and took a shot. Everyone knew it was in when the ball went off her foot. I was the first one to jump on her to celebrate, hugging her tightly. “Es! Es, je hebt het gedaan!” (Es! Es, you did it!) I yelled

My goal was much less spectacular. Jill hit the post and the ball landed at my feet, I tapped it in through the legs of the keeper and to the back of the net. I couldn’t even do a celebration because everyone was already on me. It’s not like celebrations are a nedwnt thing anyway.

When Esmee scored her second goal i was on the bench but that didn’t stop me from celebrating just as hard.

The game ended and i ran straight to Esmee, congratulating her on those two rockets.

(pretend that you’re Lieke Martens)

y/n_y/l/n

liked by esmeebrugts and 8.975 others

honoured to have made my World Cup debut and thankfull for every one of you ❤️ ps. Esmee, i love your right foot 🪄

comments

jackie_groenen_14 😍😍

viviannemiedema zo enorm trots op jou ❤️

esmeebrugts only my right foot? 🙄

esmeefan56 has anyone else seen esmee’s comment 😭

y/nbrugts1 their hug was so wholesome

As the days went by Es and i only got closer, everyone started to notice it, even the fans.

OranjeLeeuwinnen

liked by y/n_y/l/n and 23.893 others

exploring Sydney with the team 🗺️

comments

y/l/nfanxx isn’t that y/n and esmee??

↳ brugtsfan1 i think so, they’re so cute

↳ woso23 i ship them so hard 🫶

After our win against South Africa we had to play against Spain in the quarterfinals. This was our most difficult game and everyone knew it. But we all knew that if we were gonna win the World Cup, we should be able to beat every team.

It was the night before the game and surprise surprise, i couldn’t sleep. I don’t even know why, there was no chance that i would even play so who am i so nervous for?

after going from side to side i couldn’t take it anymore and just got out of bed and went on a walk. I walked to the pitch and started shooting and taking corners. I ran a few laps around the pitch and sat down. Australia is actually unreal. The weather is perfect and the sky is so clear you can even see stars (or planes that look like stars but whatever).

I heard footsteps walking towards me and groaned. “Hey waarom lig je niet in bed?” (Hey why are you not in bed?) Esmee asked as she sat next to me. “Ik kan niet slapen en jij?” (I can’t sleep and you?). Me neither she told me. This time around the silence wasn’t as awkward, it felt kinda nice to be honest.

Esmee wrapped her arms around me and layed my head on her shoulder. I don’t think i actually hate that stupid smile of hers or anything about her really. I quite love everything about her, especially her stupid smile.

“Y/n, ze hebben me bij Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City en een paar uhh.. andere clubs een contract aangeboden” (Y/n, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City and uhh a few.. other clubs have have offered me a contract) she told me. “Es dat is geweldig, dan spelen we samen in de wsl” (Es that’s amazing, we’ll play in the wsl together) I cried. She gave me a nod and a hum.

Esmee turned her head and i looked up at her. “Ik hou meer van je dan alleen je rechter voet weet je” (I love you more than just your right foot you know) i told her looking down at my lap. She just chuckled and took my face into her hand. “Je hebt geluk dat ik ook van fifa verliezers hou” (you’re lucky i love fifa losers too), i fake angry pushed her away and she let out a laugh. “En jij hebt geluk dat ik je mag” (And you’re lucky that i like you) i told her. She looked at my eyes and then at my lips. I leaned forward and kissed her. Luckily she kissed me back.

We walked back to our room and fell asleep in her bed, her legs entwined with mine and my head in the crook of her neck.

When i woke up Es was already awake, getting ready in the bathroom. I walked up to her brushing her teeth and kissed her on cheek “good morning” I told her “Ik kan niet wachten tot je straks ook in Engeland speelt en we elke dag zo wakker kunnen worden” (Can’t wait until you’ll play in England too and we’ll wake up like this every morning) She gave me a lopsided smile and i started to get ready too.

I started on the bench and Esmee was starting. The game was tight, Spain scored in the 81th minute through a penalty. In extra time we scored. We still had a chance. And just like that, our dream was crushed. Spain scored in the 111th minute and we were out.

Esmee sank to the floor and covered her face with her hands. The spanish players were celebrating while our dream was gone.

I walked to Esmee and sat infront of her. “Es, je hebt gedaan wat je kon.” (Es, you did what you could) I told her and gave her a hug.

“Y/n ik ga naar Barça” (Y/n i’m going to Barça) she told me.

How stupid could i be, falling in love with someone i knew for a few months. How fucking stupid could i be, expecting her to come to England for me.

Just when i thought today couldn’t get worse... The tears rolled down my cheeks again and i walked away towards the tunnel, Vic screaming my name but i just ignored her.

A/N this is my first fic, english is not my first language so i’m sorry if i made mistakes!! might make a part 2?!

[thefrogdalorian]

Dincember Day 13: Family

Word Count: 2710 Rating: Teen Summary: Din Djarin is a complex man, with many walls you have not yet successfully broken down. You have been slowly building a life with the man who has a traumatic past he has alluded to, but never discussed in detail. One night, Din wakes up from a nightmare and finally lets you in. You comfort him, reminding him of your love for him and how much he deserves his unlikely family. Content Warnings: This one is pretty heavy. Deals with grief, PTSD, nightmares, survivor's guilt. Please be aware before proceeding! Author's Note: This came about because of how much I NEED to hug Din Djarin and make sure he's always loved and protected against The Horrors. Yes I know he's fictional but the sign won't stop me because I can't read. Also, I've written about Din comforting reader before but never reader comforting Din and I loved this for a change. Sometimes men just need a blub and a hug. Back to some festive fluff I hope tomorrow, but I hope you enjoyed!

Link to read on AO3 | My Dincember Masterlist

The slight movement next to you caused your eyes to flutter open. The cabin was completely dark and silent, save for the strange noise coming from somewhere next to you. At first, you thought that perhaps Grogu had wandered into your room as he sometimes did when he would Force leap to snuggle up with you and Din after a nightmare, and the peculiar noise was the sound of him snoring. You soon realised, though, that it was too loud to be Grogu. That left only one other person. You turned on the light resting on a small table next to your side of the cot to better assess the situation. 

When you turned over to face Din, the sight that greeted you caused your stomach to drop. You realised that something was seriously wrong. Din was sitting bolt upright, his broad shoulders rising and falling as the sounds of him quietly sniffling filled the room. 

“Din, are you alright?” You asked, voice full of concern as you sat up and rested your hand on the small of his back, moving it up and down, attempting to comfort him.

There was no response with words, just a choked sob. Din was too upset to vocalise his emotions. He shook his head slowly, looking around at you, his brown eyes shimmering with tears that had not yet fallen down his cheeks.

“Take your time, I’m here, I’ve got you,” You soothed, continuing to rub the warm expanse of Din’s back slowly. You hoped your motions brought him comfort, even if he could not vocalise a response. 

The sounds that were coming from the man you loved so much were like a punch in the gut, your insides twisted as you listened to the blood curdling sound. You wrapped your arm around Din’s shoulders and brought him closer to you, so his head rested on your chest. You ran your fingers through his curls softly, hoping that the motions would ease whatever pain he was currently experiencing. Your chest ached to know that he was in so much distress. You felt paralysed. Despite doing your best to help him, the awful sniffling sounds did not cease.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Din sniffed into your chest, “I wo-woke you up.”

“Din, it’s fine. I wouldn’t want you to go through this alone,” You said, kissing his head softly, “I’m here for you. You’re going to be okay.”

Din just nodded against your chest. You felt relieved that at least he was able to respond to your words, giving a small indication that he believed them. Despite his anguish, knowing that your comforting touches and words were reaching him on some level reassured you. 

“Was it a bad dream?” You asked, once the sniffles had died down.

“I had a nightmare about…” Din gasped, “My parents.”

“Oh, Din,” You soothed, pulling his head against your chest and wrapping your arms around him even more tightly. You did not fully know what had happened to Din’s parents, only that he had lost them under traumatic circumstances at a young age, which was why he had been adopted by the Mandalorians. “I’m so sorry, that must have been awful. I wish I could do something more to make it right for you."

“It was,” Din squeaked. His usually calm, steady voice sounded so shaky and small. It was as if he were a frightened boy, rather than the hulking man that he was.

“I’m so sorry you had to relive that, honey,” You soothed, “It was just a dream though. You’re safe now. You're here in this cabin with me and Grogu and nothing bad will happen to you. Alright?”

Din nodded again. You felt some of the tension he had been holding in leaving his body as he relaxed slightly in your arms. It would take some time before he was fully calm again, but you knew he was on the right track at least, as the sniffles grew gradually more infrequent.

“Thank you,” Din finally said gratefully. He slowly lifted his head from where he had nestled it in your chest and turned to face you.

Your breath hitched at the sight of him, Din looked utterly broken. His eyes were bloodshot; there were deep, dark bags under them too. The lines on his handsome face seemed even more drawn than usual, the warm orange glow of the lamp that you had switched on revealed the devastating toll that his nightmare had wrought on him emotionally. 

“Oh, Din,” You whispered, reaching up to hold his face in your hands, stroking his stubbly cheeks gently with your thumbs. “I hate to see you like this. If you want to talk about it, share your burden with me, you know I’m here for you.”

“Thank you,” Din sighed, breaking eye contact and looking down at the cot below you. “I’ve never told you what happened to them, I mean, my parents… have I?” Din asked, his brown eyes remaining firmly fixed towards the blankets. 

“No, you haven’t,” You shook your head, “But you don’t have to tell me if it will upset you more.”

“I think… it would be good for me to share things with you. I mean, I thought for so long that they were the only family I would ever have,” Din admitted, brown eyes now looking at you once more. “Until I found you,” Din added, a small smile pulling at the corners of his plush lips.

You were floored by the beautiful sentiment. Sometimes, glimpses of the closed-off, emotionally unavailable bounty hunter that Din had once been came through. Despite how much Din had grown as a person since you had gotten to know him, you knew there was somewhat of a dark past there that he was still doing his best to overcome. The loss of his parents at an early age undoubtedly was a part of that past, and you were honoured that he trusted you enough to confide in you about what had happened to them. You both shifted so that you were sitting facing each other and you reached out to hold Din’s large, warm hands in your hands as they rested in his lap, you wanted him to know that you were with him.

“I was born on a planet called Aq Vetina. I had a happy childhood, my parents absolutely adored me. I never doubted for one single second their love for me. And they adored each other,” Din shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. You could see how much pain it was causing him to cast his mind back there. You looked at him encouragingly, squeezed his hand and with your reassuring touch, Din continued: “It was like any other day. I think I was running around the town centre with my friends, playing happily like a child when we heard it. This terrible noise was unlike anything I had ever heard before. It was the sound of them approaching... the Separatists. My friends... we panicked and scattered. I sprinted back in the direction of my home, but my parents had already heard the commotion. Somehow, I found them in the chaos, and my father picked me up. When I found them, I thought I was safe, but we weren't out of the woods yet. My father was carrying me, my mother was running alongside and we were heading for shelter away from the destruction but…”

Din was too upset to continue. You wanted to reassure him that he did not have to relive it if it was too painful for him: “Din, you don’t have to–”

“No, please,” Din said, exhaling shakily. “I want to tell you. I think… Talking helps, it’s important for me that I talk about them. So that I never forget them.”

“Okay, Din,” You nodded, trusting he could handle it.

“We tried to make it somewhere to hide, but it was too late. The droids were right there, obliterating everything in their path. Up ahead, there was a building that we probably could have taken shelter in, but it was risky, there were more droids up ahead. So my parents… they found somewhere small enough where I could hide and be safe. They hugged me, then opened the doors and put me down below, in a cellar. The doors closed and that was the last time I ever saw them. The next time the doors opened there was a Battle Droid there and I thought…” Din stopped, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath, “I thought I was dead.”

“But you’re not Din, you lived, you survived,” You reminded him.

“I know. All thanks to them. My parents... they paid dearly to keep me safe. In my dreams, the door opens and the droid is there to shoot me, except the reality where the Mandalorians arrived at that moment, shot the droid and saved me does not happen.” Din said shakily, his voice cracking. “In my dream, no one comes. The droid is there and it… it…” Din whimpered.

“I know, Din,” You held his cheek in your hand, wiping the tears that fell as he cried softly, “I know, you don’t have to finish that off.”

“I just feel so guilty sometimes, why did I survive?” Din said, between sobs. “Out of everyone on that planet, why me? My parents, they should have had long and happy lives together, grown old and watched me grow up. But instead, they were wiped out along with everyone on Aq Vetina. Yet, I survived.”

“Oh, Din,” You breathed, “I cannot even imagine how traumatic that burden must have been for you to carry. You were so young, too. It's no wonder that it still haunts you all these years later. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your parents, they wanted you to live. They made the ultimate sacrifice so you could live, they would want you to do so without guilt. To be happy. And if they could see you now, they would be so proud of the man that you are. Do you know that?”

“I just… I go between gratitude to them for the life I’ve lived since and thinking that I should have… gone with them,” Din whispered.

Hearing Din say those words floored you, the air was sucked out of your lungs. To think that he would contemplate such a thing devastated you. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just when I have these dreams, these dark thoughts surface. When the droid comes, I think it might’ve been fairer if there was no Mandalorian to save me, so we all went together,” Din whispered darkly. Your hand was still cupping his jaw but he was no longer looking at you. “I just feel unworthy sometimes.”

You took a deep breath and reached out to hold his face with both hands. Din lifted his chin to look into your eyes. You exhaled and began to reassure him. “Din Djarin, you are more than worthy of every single good thing that has happened to you in your life,” You said, firmly. “You were just a little boy when it happened, Din. There was nothing you could have done. There is nothing you can do to change the past. I think it’s… it’s probably a pretty normal thing to think after such a traumatic experience, but you mustn’t believe it, Din,” You pleaded, “Okay? You lived for a reason. Look at everything you have achieved, the way you love Grogu, the enormous role you had in retaking Mandalore. And the way you love me. You deserved to live, Din, you deserve to be happy.”

“Thank you,” Din said, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. “I know you’re right.” Din opened his eyes again and looked at you. “I just wish I could see my parents one more time and thank them. I wish they could see me now. I know it’s been so many years and I probably should have gotten over it by now," Din shrugged.

“There is no timeline for getting over something like this, Din. It will be a part of you forever. But I also think what happened to you shaped the man you are. The man who I love so much," You said, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs tenderly. “You are giving Grogu all the love that you wish your parents had been able to give to you. That little boy lost his parents too, you know what that feels like. But then you came along, you gave him a life, Din. After so many years of pain, now he has a father to love and protect him. Where would he be without you?”

“I know, I love him so much,” Din admitted, his voice cracking at the mention of his son.

“And he loves you. And I love you,” You wiped the tears that trailed down Din’s cheeks with your thumbs. “We are a family, Din. You lost your parents when you were so young, but you have a family now.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” Din whispered.

“Well, it's a good thing I’m not going anywhere,” You smiled through the tears that had begun to fall down your own cheeks. “I’m with you forever, Din. Until our songs are written.”

“I love you,” Din whispered, bringing you close to his chest and wrapping his arms around you. “Thank you for loving me, for being my family.”

You just allowed Din to hold you, knowing from the way he nuzzled into your hair that he was getting comfort from having you in his arms. You stayed like that for a while, drawing strength and comfort from each other.

“Do you want to try to get some more rest?” You asked eventually, aware that Din had not slept very long. The Nevarrian sunrise was still hours away.

“Okay,” Din whispered, manoeuvring the two of you so that you were lying down. Your cheek ended up against his broad chest, so you could hear his beating heart and his arms wrapped around you. “Thank you, for everything, cyare.”

“You’re welcome, Din,” You replied, “I’m here for you, always. Thank you for being so open. I’m proud of you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Din sighed. 

You closed your eyes, suddenly aware of how exhausted you were after such an emotional conversation. Sleep would not be far away, it seemed. But judging by the small, even breaths coming from your favourite Mandalorian, it seemed that Din had beat you to it. The soft sounds indicated that he had finally slipped into the much needed slumber that his mind and body were crying out for. 

You hoped that confiding in you about the terrible nightmare he had endured and subsequent thoughts that haunted him had eased some of the burden that Din carried with him. As you turned to look at him, pride swelled in your chest. You were so proud that the frightened, traumatised boy from Aq Vetina who had lost everything he ever knew and everyone he ever loved that one fateful day had grown into such a kind, honourable man. You knew Din loved you and Grogu with everything he had. Despite the horrors he had endured, he had worked hard to overcome them and not let his traumatic past define him. 

And along the way, he had found his own unlikely little family. A family that would receive all of the love he had stored up inside him, love that had been dormant, just waiting to be unleashed; to be given to others. Learning to love others was a process that had begun with Grogu, the special little boy softened the cold, detached Mandalorian's heart and revealed his softer side. But in meeting you, Din had discovered that his capacity for love went beyond what he ever thought possible.

You felt honoured to receive that love every single day, just as you knew that Din felt grateful for your love in return. You knew that regardless of what trials and tribulations lay ahead, Din Djarin would always have the one thing that had eluded him for so many years, but had nonetheless always deserved: his own family. 

[divinesolas]

Cregan lost his father, brother and wife and then he got a new family and lost all of them like goddamn.

Cregan didn’t go crazy enough like that man truly is Ned Stark’s grandpapi cause he could have really gone apeshit and I would be like “Go awf King”

😭😭😭

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep4 Musings - Random (Spoilers)

IWTV's the type of show you need SEVERAL hours to unpaack--this is just the odds & ends I don't have as much to comment on. (I've queued five Ep4 musings for this evening, that are way more character/plot-heavy.)

Go AWF, Eglee! (Now I get why she lunged at Celeste like that--she was after Eglee's man!)

If someone don't get this Bilbo Baggins lookin arse ghoul TF off Louis' case--!

Sure, Mr. I Do Not Consider Myself Abused.

I hope they do, Louis, I'm not even joking. I'd love to see a whole new wave of TVC-based academia come out in AMC's wake. There's A LOT to chew on.

Get this pretty bish off my dang screeeeen.

At first I thought Daniel was referring to Lestat here, but Les isn't Lou's biographer. But I guess he meant because Les was commenting so much on everything in Louis' life at that time.

That cuck chair cost 10 million dollars, Armand.

I feel SO bad for him, if he didn't realize HOW MUCH Lestat was around--I KNOW Louis hallucinated Les while they were banging. 😬

😱

🤦

Daniel, you gigantic unmitigated MORON. 🤦 WHYYYYYYY would you reveal your hand like that?! This dude is SLIPPING. 😩

So Loumand kept dead victims saran-wrapped (bleh) in their flat, and let Daniel just stroll on in--"don't be afraid, just start the tape." No wonder Daniel called it a "dump."

Who's being reported missing/dead on the news? What's Armand mean by that being "enterprising/fascinating"? Daniel's penchant for following the scoop on gritty gory crimes?

But then Armand implied that in high school Daniel raped a girl and made her wear a paper bag over her head so he wouldn't have to look at her, not caring when she cried. 😱 And it was that "splinter of coldness in you" that made him fascinating to Armand. GOD. Anne Rice would be proud.

Louis look ready to reach over and wring Daniel's neck. 😅

Bienecke Library in New Haven is at Yale--they collect rare books & stuff. Lemme find out the Talamasca's posted up there. "Post-war reconstruction of Paris"--that's good, nice work, COLLECT YOURSELF.

Psst! I wouldn't touch that, knowing where it's been. 🤢🐀🐀🐀

Not this knockoff Lestat strutting around in housecoats. 😂

😨 I'm boycotting AMC & cancelling my AMC+ subscription.

So Loumand/Armand's art dealing was Louis' thing initially--I like it! He needs a job. I can imagine him at Sothebys or Christies or something.

If only Armand knew Florence told Louis "Don't come back, fragile son...." Louis and Marius both managed to capture the soul of Armand in art--I need to lay down.

THIS CREEP'S TRYNA STEAL ARMAND'S PHOTO! 😱 What a wanker! Literally! Dang, even in the 1940s Armand's not safe from pervs! 😩

Is this thievin pervin swindlin a-hole tryna warn MY Louis!?

(YES, actually, Louis; you DO.) Was it that Alois creep? Did Lou EVER have the correct photos? Is there a Talamasca mole in the archival staff? (Is it Rashid, LOL?) Or, god forbid, Alderman Fenwick was right all along (boo!): "You're a dumb pimp who got robbed blind years ago." A SPY'S afoot!

The jumpscares this episode are RELENTLESS! That startled me! 😅 And OUCH about the ageism. (NO ONE stood around clutching their pearls when Armand chokeslammed a little Black girl not THIRTY SECONDS AGO, but suddenly everyone's aghast that Armand hemmed up this old buffoon?!)

The SOUND I just made. XD

The coup's already happened--Loumand just doesn't know it yet. U_U

[the-iceni-bitch]

𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐝?

Relationship: Ransom Drysdale x Jake Jensen (Gem and Blondie, NLLYL: Before)

Words: ~3.3k

Summary: Ransom doesn’t want to go, but he can’t stay.

Warnings: explicit language, brief mention of m/m sex, ANGST!!!! Angst, angst, angst, angst, angst, homophobia, implied use of the f-slur, dysfunctional family, so much self-hatred. 18+ ONLY (due to the AU)

A/N: You may have been expecting more Kinktober, but apparently it’s Angst-mas. Listen, all of us knew this was coming but that doesn’t make it hurt less. Just remember they both end up where they need to be and that I am so sorry for doing this to all of you 😭

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on my fics follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications.

Ransom took another uncomfortable sip of beer and looked around at all of Jake’s family as he sat next to his boyfriend. It was weird, he was so used to dysfunction and drama that being around so many people who actually seemed happy to be related to each other made his skin crawl. He didn’t know how he was supposed to interact with these people. Even though Jake was sitting right next to him and holding his hand, he felt alone.

That didn’t stop him from smiling like he knew he should be. His thoughts may have been filled with anxiety but his WASP upbringing meant he could put on a good face no matter what. When Jake squeezed his hand he squeezed it back, beaming at his boyfriend even as he wondered at how he could possibly be a part of this man’s life when he was so colossally fucked up. He felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop in relation to him being a terrible person, and he hated it.

“Hey,” Jake’s smile dropped a little when he looked at Ransom’s face, his eyes full of concern which only made Ransom want to throw up. “Are you okay? I know Sam Adams is kind of basic beer, I can run to the store if you want something different.”

“No, I’m fine.” Ransom lied, smiling even wider to hopefully cover for the tightness in his throat. “Everything is great, your family is wonderful.”

Jake was about to say something else, he could tell, but fortunately Jake’s sister chose that moment to stand up with her husband. Her grin was huge and she was bouncing on her toes, and even with his anxiety Ransom couldn’t stop a chuckle when Jake started bouncing too. It took a few minutes for everything to die down and then she was finally able to get out the words she had apparently been holding back all night.

“We’re pregnant!!”

The uproar of pure joy was deafening, and it only got more intense when the sonogram was revealed. Every member of the Jensen clan started hugging each other, some of them even cried. Jake was one of the criers, running to his sister and dragging Ransom behind him until he wrapped her in an enormous bear hug.

Ransom felt a little better now that all the attention wasn’t on him as the boyfriend they’d never met before. Or at least he felt better until he heard the word “uncle” directed at him.

“What?” His mouth was suddenly very dry and his smile felt more forced than ever.

“You’re gonna be ‘Uncle Ransom’. Isn’t that exciting?” Jake’s sister beamed at him until Jake poked her in the arm, shaking her head but still keeping that jubilant smile on her face. “Or… you know, sorry. Mom!!”

The rest of the afternoon was a blur for Ransom. A happy, noisy, gut wrenching blur. He didn’t think he’d actually finished the beer he had been holding, and he was vaguely aware of people moving around him but nothing else registered. All he could think about was how fucking serious things were. Up to a certain point he had already been aware, but that was just with him and Jake. Jake’s entire apparently fantastic family had never entered his mind until that day, and he could not figure out how he was supposed to fit in with all of them. Especially as an uncle. The only uncle he’d known was Walt, and he was just awful. He couldn’t be around kids. He probably shouldn’t even be a part of any sort of functional family.

Before he knew it he and Jake were home. He hated the way his boyfriend was looking at him, like he wanted to stay so happy about his sister’s news but also could tell that Ransom was lost in his fucked up emotions. So he managed to put on a placating smile, ignoring the ache in his stomach and his racing pulse when he told Jake how happy he was about him getting to be a fun uncle. His freakout was saved for when he managed to get in the shower after Jake got ready for bed, sitting on the bottom of the tub and breathing painfully while the hot water washed over him and he tried not to feel like such an utter bastard. All night he obsessed about how he didn’t deserve the man he was sharing his bed with, and how much easier things would be if he could bring himself to either talk to Jake or just leave.

It was like that for the next two weeks. Ransom’s cheeks hurt from all the fake smiling and acting cheerful each night when he went to bed. The only time he seemed able to relax was when he and Jake were having sex, and even then he felt like he was being an asshole for trying to distract himself with his boyfriend’s body, so he tried not to do it unless Jake was adamant about it. He knew Jake could tell something was wrong, and as much as he loved the man for knowing that asking would just make Ransom more stubborn, he almost wished the blond would just do it. Maybe if he finally broke down things could get better.

But he didn’t really want to break down. Ransom knew himself, he wasn’t a man who thrived on deep and meaningful conversations. He couldn’t believe how grateful he was when he got an invitation to some boring party for Linda’s real estate firm. A year and a half without a word from his mother or anyone else in his family and all of a sudden he was invited to some fancy soirée out of the blue. Yeah, he hated his family, but he hated what he was feeling around Jake right now even more. He even considered just telling Jake he was going and then drinking himself to oblivion in some random hotel, but he did miss Harlan, and if the old man was going to be there, hopefully Ransom could get his grandfather to talk some sense into him.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to go, Gem?” Jake looked so earnest and sweet while he helped Ransom with his tie and it made him feel like the slimiest douche in the world. “I’m pretty charming. You could introduce me as your ‘roommate’.”

“I’m sure, Jake.” Ransom couldn’t even bring himself to call Jake by his nickname, he hated himself. “Trust me, aside from the food and the open bar, it’s going to suck massively.”

“Okay.” Jake leaned up to peck Ransom on the lips and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling the blond closer for just a moment. “Call me if you need a ride.”

Ransom promised he would, kissing Jake deeply for some unknown reason and looking into his eyes before saying goodbye. It felt painful and he couldn’t figure out why, like it was somehow more permanent and he wasn’t going to be home in just a few hours.

The hotel was sufficiently swanky for what he knew his mother’s expectations would be. He was even more glad that he hadn’t let Jake tag along, handing the valet the keys to that ancient jeep would have been especially awkward. There were so many blue bloods packed into the ballroom that Ransom could practically smell the old money, and he wasn’t impressed. While he was scowling and trying to get his bearings his mother found him, immediately making a stress headache begin behind his left eye.

“Hello Ransom.” God, he’d forgotten how fake the woman was. That smile was showing far too many teeth. “Thank you so much for coming. How have you been?”

“You’re really going to act like you care, mother?” Ransom let her embrace him since he didn’t feel like making a scene, but he hated every second of it. “Where’s Harlan?”

“Your grandfather wasn’t feeling his best so he’s resting at home.” Linda refused to let go of his arm when he stepped back. “But I’m very glad you’re here. There’s someone I want you to meet. This is Sloane Hargreaves.”

Linda gestured to a young woman who looked like every social climber’s wet dream, with eerily straight and white teeth and not a single blonde hair on her head out of place. She was attractive, but her eyes were sharp and cunning, like she was constantly assessing how she could maneuver a situation to her advantage. Everything about her presence put Ransom on edge, especially when she shook his hand and she let out a laugh that was just shy of shrill.

“Yeah, nice to meet you.” Ransom had to yank his hand away from her. Pretty or not she was freaking him out. “If Harlan isn’t I’m going to head home, Linda. There’s no reason for me to be here.”

“Nonsense. It’s not like you have someone to go home to.” Oh, he did not like the way Linda’s eyes glittered when she said that. “Be a gentleman and escort this lonely young lady for the night. What could it hurt?”

Aside from his patience he couldn’t come up with anything, so he just shrugged and let the bourgeois waif wind her arm through his. The way she was clinging to him didn’t help him relax at all, nor did the constant inane chatter. That combined with the cloud of Chanel No. 5 that hovered around her made his headache even worse. All he wanted was to go drink and forget about his fucked up family and the boyfriend to whom he was scared to commit.

He didn’t even know how long it had been before Sloane finally left him alone to go to the ladies room, but it was far too long. Ransom was on the far side of the room from the exit, but he still tried to make a break for it, cursing to himself under his breath when his mother intercepted him with that same, phony smile on her face.

“Now now, why are you rushing off so soon?” Linda sank her claws into his arm and steered him towards a secluded table. “I haven’t talked to you in so long and you’re already leaving.”

“Who’s fault is that?” He took the scotch she handed him and downed it in one gulp. “Why did you even bother inviting me here?”

“What, I can’t miss my son?” Linda scoffed when he just scowled at her, tapping her manicured nails against the tabletop with irritation. “Fine. Your grandfather has been talking about missing you quite a bit and is adamant about letting you back into the family. He’s gotten the idea in his head that you must have made something of yourself if you haven’t come back begging on your knees by now.”

“What’s the catch?” Ransom snorted when she tried to look coy. “C’mon, Linda. There’s no way you’d be thinking of letting me back in if there wasn’t something in it for you.”

“You’re too goddamn smart for your own good.” She muttered under her breath and shook her head before addressing him again. “I know, Ransom.”

“You know?” Ransom chuckled a few times before freezing when he saw the smug look on her face. “What do you know?”

“I know about your… god, I can’t even call it a job.” Linda sneered when Ransom seemed to shrink in on himself, leaning forward as she went in for the kill. “Not just a sex worker, but a sex worker for fa…”

“Stop.” If he had to hear that word come out of her mouth he would start crying, and he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. “Just stop.”

“You have your disgusting job, your piece of shit apartment, and that little boy toy you’ve been fooling around with.” She tutted when Ransom buried his face in his hands and groaned. “It’s ridiculous and uncouth. I’ll not have you parading your vulgar plaything around in front of the family or our friends.”

“They're not my friends, mother.” He felt like he was going to be sick. “He’s not a toy, I love him.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, no you don’t.” Linda sipped on her wine while she watched her son crumble in front of her without an ounce of sympathy. “You love money and being a damn pain in the ass, and as much fun as you might have introducing that fruit to society, I won’t have it. Break it off.”

“No.” Ransom shook his head and barely kept his feet as he tried to hold back a panic attack. “I don’t want to come back if I have to leave him.”

“Oh really?” She cocked her head as she gazed at him with those predatory eyes. “You come back and date that pretty, sweet blonde girl who was hanging on your arm all night and I’ll pay for everything.” When she saw Ransom go completely still she knew she had him. “I have a house all ready for you just a half an hour from Harlan’s, that gorgeous vintage BMW you always wanted, and you’ll get to be part of an important family again. All the parties, all the events, and status. Tell me you don’t want it.”

Ransom felt like the bottom just dropped out of his world. He couldn’t do this. He was a bastard but not that big of a bastard. But he was a bastard. He was dysfunctional and repressed. He was in love with Jake but he was terrified of what that meant. He didn’t know how he could possibly fit into that man’s life and make him as happy as he deserved, because Ransom knew that he didn’t deserve the happiness that Jake did. It could be better if he let him find his own way now, before he had the chance to hurt him even worse. Ransom should only be around assholes, he always knew it, the fact that he was considering this just confirmed it.

By the time he climbed into a cab to go back to the apartment he was drunk. Miserable and drunk. The pool of self pity he was wallowing in was so deep he couldn’t see the bottom. He couldn’t even find his keys, he had to have Jake buzz him up.

“Hi gem, how was it?” Jake turned around on the couch to greet him and his face immediately fell. “Oh Ransom…”

“I can’t… I can’t do this.” Ransom couldn’t bring himself to look at Jake, leaning against the wall and sinking to the floor as he buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh baby, no.” Jake jumped over the back of the couch and went to sit in front of Ransom on the floor. “Don’t apologize, you never have to apologize to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Me, I’m what’s wrong.” Ransom was choking on his words but was determined to not look like the terrified little boy he felt like. “I’m too fucked up for this. I’m too fucked up for you. I can’t give you what you want.”

“All I want is you, Ransom.” Jake reached out to him and flinched when Ransom recoiled. “Just you, that’s it.”

“No it isn’t. How the fuck could it be?” Ransom could hear the pain in Jake’s voice but couldn’t stop now. “You want the family outings and to be ‘uncle Jake’ and domestic bliss. I can’t do that shit, Jake. I can hardly be in the same room as kids, much less have any of my own.”

“Ran…” Jake saw the tears falling from Ransom’s eyes and he lost it, sobbing and gripping Ransom’s hand in spite of the man trying to pull away. “As long as we fucking talk to each other we can make it. You don’t have to do this. I know you feel like you fucking do because yes, your family is that fucked up, but you don’t. I’m here for you, for whatever you need. I love you.”

“I…” Ransom wanted to tell him he didn’t love him, but that was such a fucking lie it got caught in his throat. “I have to go, Jake. I need to leave. I should be back with my family.”

“I can be your family, Ransom.” Jake couldn’t stop himself from pulling Ransom close and wrapping his arms around him. “My family can be your family. You deserve to be loved, to have a family that cares about you. I promise Ransom, you deserve the world. Please believe me.”

“I… I can’t.” Ransom finally crumbled and wept as he embraced Jake in turn. “I’m sorry, I just can’t. I want to, but I can’t. Jake, I have to go back.”

“Ransom,” both of them were a mess but that didn’t stop Jake from kissing Ransom like he was his last breath of air. “I love you so much, goddamn it. I am not going to make you stay, but you should, you can. God, please fucking stay.”

Ransom kissed him back. It was desperate, full of longing and pain. He wished the world would end before the kiss would, but then he had to breathe and reality came crashing around him. His eyes met Jake’s again and he saw the last glimmer of hope die, and he hated himself for killing it.

“I love you, Jake Jensen.” Ransom kissed Jake’s forehead and rose to his feet, staggering towards the door so he could spend the night somewhere else where he wouldn’t have to see the suffering on the face of the man he loved. “But I don’t deserve you. You’ll find someone better, I know you will.”

“Ransom, fuck, just wait.” Jake ran after him and grabbed his wrist to turn him back around. “I’m not stopping you, and I’m not going to tell you that this isn’t the most painful thing anyone has ever put me through, but I’m not going to fucking hate you. You can try all you want, but I love you, I’ll always fucking love you, and all I want is for you to be happy. If it can’t be with me, it should be with someone amazing. Don’t let your family fuck you up any worse, okay?”

“Goddamn it, don’t be such a fucking grownup, Jake.” Ransom had to stop himself from kissing the man again, wrenching himself out of Jake’s grip and running a hand through his hair. “You can keep all my shit. You should forget my number. Goodbye.”

As soon as the door closed behind him he felt his heart freeze over, the sound of Jake’s muffled sobs washing over him as he called himself a cab and went down the stairs. He managed to keep it together for the next week, his face stony and his jaw clenched as he let his mother get him set up in the new house. He even went on a date with the daughter of the upper crust family Linda foisted on him, and Christ was she boring.

It wasn’t until he was moved in, the furniture still wrapped in plastic and a few boxes left to unpack, before he let himself grieve who he’d lost and what he had done to the man he loved, collapsing on the floor and sobbing violently as the moon rose through the trees surrounding his new home. Jake was wrong, he was an absolute and total bastard who deserved nothing but unending pain for the rest of his life. So he let himself feel it, determined to never let go of the anguish that he had brought on himself.

[woetoy]

u: teehee naia has see through tummy so u can see her womb. me: has the urge to draw out all of her organs and bones in some horror-esque way. theres nothing wrong obviously w what ur doing but i love drawing shit realistically esp if it involves Anatomy. i drew a skeleton man once and i was like. "im gonna draw his organs and bone structure as accurately as i can."

Don't have much to say besides go awf!! Anatomy is cool indeed. Glass frogs in general can inspire a lot of unique takes since they're such freaky looking lil guys

I sometimes consider adding a visible heart to Naias design but I dunno. Tho it'd be the stylized ❤️ version I think, I'm on that cutesy train with her 😌