#get the best of both worlds. the dream đ
If I Was Your Boyfriend
"If he was your boyfriend, he would give you the actual world. Sadly he is just your best friend with the biggest unrequited crush ever."
Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: Unrequited Crush!AU, Idiots in Love!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff, Romance
Warnings: OC is scared of a bug (me fr), he kills it for her, he would do anything for her, yearning, unrequited feelings (? mhhm ?), listen. he may be a lil bit dense when it comes to reading signs jsjjss bless his heart, i need him as my boyfriend, so much tension between them, jsjsjs this is pure torture i want them to kiss!!, brief mention of adult toys, miscommunication because he suuucks at love confessions, protective & slightly jealous!Kook, he is the greenest flag though like seriously, the happiest end hihi, the inspo was seven mv kook, she is shorter than him because i have the hugest size kink with him and this is so self-indulgent <3, once again i need him as my boyfie
Wordcount: 10.5k
a/n: sometimes i have ideas for one specific trope without wanting to write the whole book lmaooo, so enjoy this lil slow burn fluff scenario which is so self-indulgent and fanfiction coded. also, it was inspired by a real life event where i found a bug in my bed and i had to kill it on my own :( i was being very brave about it đ ps: this is very unrealistic 'cause like why would you only be best friends with HIM? that wouldn't be an unrequited crush if that was me. happy birthday to kookie đ
The call comes around two at night. Jungkook picks up with the first ring. He was working out before that.
âHello? Are you okay?â he asks, resting his head against the edge of the sofa as he is currently sitting on the floor. He was doing sit ups before that, trying his hardest to regulate his sped-up breathing right now.
âKook, please help me.â
Jungkook sits up straight.
âWhere are you? Are you safe?â
âI donât know. I think itâs following me. I locked it inside my room but I can still hear it.â
âStay with me, Iâm getting dressedâ, he says, jumping to his feet to hurry to his front door.
âPlease hurry please. Iâm so scared.â
âIâm coming, donât worry. Are you home?â
âYes. Hurry please.â
âIâm coming, stay strong. Yeah?â
âYes, thank youâ, you say and end the call.
Jungkook curses, shoving the phone into his pants pocket. He puts on his jacket as he runs down the hallway and puts on his beanie once he is inside the elevator. He is restless in the small space, wishing for it to go quicker. Itâs too slow.
âCome on, come onâ, he stresses it, knowing that it is fruitless.
You are his best friend. Well, at least that is what you would call him. Best friend. Jungkook sees so much more in you. His best friend, his person of trust, his crush. He would never tell you his feelings because he doesnât want to make it awkward. But if there were no consequences for speaking up, Jungkook would tell you that you are his dream girl. You are funny, sweet, caring, talented, intelligent, wonderful, perfect, amazing, beautiful, pretty, stunning. Yes, Jungkook thinks that you are all of these things and more. When he is close to you, his heart races and he wants to keep looking at your face. When you are sad, he wants to make you happy again and when you smile, he wants to keep it on your face. When you arenât with him, he misses you and when you are with him, he hopes that time stops passing. You are the person he updates on the most mundane of things and whose text messages always bring a quick flutter to his chest. Your voice is the voice he could listen to for hours and your face is the face he doesnât get tired of staring at when you and he video chat late night till you and he both run out of things to say. And at the same time, you are the person with whom Jungkook never runs out of things to talk about, if he didnât have to breathe, he would continue to babble to you until your ears wore off. Jungkook swears that if there were no consequences for his words, he would tell you all of this.Â
But alas, there are consequences and so Jungkook is left keeping his true feelings hidden.
The outcome of tonightâs phone call obviously wouldnât have changed whether or not he had romantic feelings for you. Jungkook loves you as a friend as well. And he will always be there for his friends. Especially when they are clearly scared by something.
Jungkook rings your bell. You open the door as if you were waiting for him, grabbing him by his wrists to drag him inside. Jungkookâs entire body flutters at the feeling of your touch.Â
âFinally you are here. Come in quick, pleaseâ, you tell him.
You must have been sleeping already. You are in your pyjamas and have no make-up on. Jungkook swears that you have never looked more beautiful before.Â
âWhat happened? Did someone break in?â he asks instead of telling you that you are beautiful.
âWorse.â
âWorse?â
âKook, there is a huge bug in my room. Please kill it.â
Jungkook stops in his tracks. You call him over for that? You stop when you feel his strength all of a sudden, looking over your shoulder. He has his right brow cocked up.
âWhat?â you stress.
âYou give me a heart attack for that?â
âWhat? Of course. Itâs a bug.â
Jungkook sighs in annoyance, âseriously?â
âYes, seriously.â You round him to shove him by his back. âKill it for me, please Kook.â
âFine, Iâll kill itâ, he gives up and groans, letting you shove him to your bedroom. Jungkook would never dare to think this way, but right now he wished that you were shoving him to your room for something else. Nothing dirty of course, just cuddles. Lots of cuddles. He would literally trade both his kidneys so he could hold you in his arms until you fall asleep just once. He would make sure that you were warm and that you felt safe in his embrace. He would kiss your face and tell you sweet nothings like how he thinks of you when he listens to love songs and how he wishes that it was you and he whenever he sees a romantic scene in a movie.
God, Jungkook is so done for.Â
âWhere is this stupid bug?â he acts annoyed to make the yearning a little easier. It is difficult when you have your hands on his back and they are so, so warm.
âIn there.â You open the door carefully and look around. âFollow meâ, you say, tiptoeing into your room.
Jungkook follows you, smiling fondly. You are cute when you are acting like this.Â
âWhere is it?â he asks, trying his hardest not to think about how he wants to snuggle you for being cute.
âI donât know. It was right there when I last saw it.â
âMaybe itâs already gone.â
âNo, it was-âÂ
The bug flies past you, you scream instantly, jumping at Jungkook for help.
âThe bug! Eeeek Kooook! I hate bugs!â you squeak, hiding away in his chest.
Jungkook hopes that you canât feel his racing pulse, because it is racing. You never touched him like this before, let alone snuggled so close to him.Â
Act cool. Act cool. Act cool.Â
He wraps one arm around you, patting the back of your head.Â
âThere, there you big babyâ, he teases.
âI hate bugs so muchâ, you whine, snuggling closer.
He glances down at you, feeling every beat his heart takes.
Act cool! Act cool! Act cool!
What if he wrapped both arms around you? Would that go too far? He wouldnât mean anything dirty behind it, he just really wants to hug you and feel you melt in his arms.
âKill it, Kook pleaseâ, you whine and move your head so you were looking up at him. Your eyes lock.
Jungkook bites down on his tongue, forgetting to breathe for just a few moments.
ACT COOL! ACT COOL! ACT COOL!
What if he cupped your face right here and now to kiss your nose and cheeks and forehead and chin and lips and eyes? What if he did that?
âPlease kill it.â
âI am, you gotta let go for thatâ, he gets out, surprised at how normal his voice sounds eventhough he is currently losing his mind.
Please donât let go. Please donât let go.Â
You let go. Disappointment from his side. You hide behind him and grab his waist for moral support. Butterflies in his tummy, his knees buckle a little. Holy moly. Holy moly. Wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow.Â
âYouâre seriously so brave for thisâ, you tell him.
âYeah, yeah or maybe youâre just a scaredy cat.â
He has no idea how he is able to talk properly right now when you have him literally messed up.Â
Jungkook inches close to where the bug is sitting on the wall while his thoughts and heart are racing. He has to act nonchalant about the situation. You are only holding him like this because you are scared.
âDo you have a shoe?â he asks you, hating his hand for shaking when he presents it to you.
You bend down and take off your right slipper, âwill this do?âÂ
âPerfect.âÂ
Jungkook takes the slipper and carefully moves closer to the bug. Your fingers tighten on his waist.
âCareful nowâ, you comment.
âI amâ he gets out, concentrating vigorously. He canât mess up now, you are counting on him.Â
âAlmost there. Almost thereâ, you cheer him on.
Jungkook slams the shoe down. The bug has no chance of escape. You scream.
âGotcha.â
âDid you get it? Is it dead? Kook, is it dead?â
Jungkook lifts the slipper and looks at the squished bug on its sole. He shows it to you.
âDead.â
âYay, itâs dead. Ew how nasty, you can see the intestines.â
âRight. Give me a minute, Iâm cleaning it.â
âUse acid for it. Just to be sure it doesnât come back.
He chuckles, âsure, Iâll use acid.â
He leaves you in your bedroom to hurry to the bathroom.Â
Your apartment is familiar to him. He spends a lot of time here. Mostly to chill on your couch and watch shows with you. Sometimes you also cook dinner together and then eat it by the table, while other times you do a workout together. Seriously, you are his fucking dream girl.Â
One time as you and he were cooking together, he needed something from the shelf above you, but you couldnât step away from the stove. So he got it while you were right in front of him and his chest brushed against your back and he swears that he heard your breath hitch for a moment. Jungkook wanted to hug you back then. When you later that evening turned to let him taste the cooking only to use the same fork to taste it yourself, Jungkook almost kissed you.Â
One time when you were watching a show, you got cold hands and Jungkook offered to warm them for you. He didnât think you would accept, but you did and so he ended up with your cold hands under his hoodie as you warmed them up on his skin. Jungkook swears that he wanted to pin you against the sofa and kiss your cute face back then.
One time when you were doing a workout together, you struggled with a movement and asked him for help. He ended up having to hold you by your hips as he guided you through the movement. He wanted to flip you and kiss you senseless back then.Â
He never felt like this before. He was scared of these feelings at first, but now he canât get enough. You are a foodie, a romance lover and a lover for couple workouts and itâs so impossible for him not to be in love. You are seriously his dream girl. There is no fucking way around this.
Jungkook knows that tonight will be such a memory as well. the kind of memory which tingles, but which also makes him regret that he didnât act differently. When you cuddled into him, he wanted to hug you properly. When you grabbed his waist he wanted to turn in your grasp and kiss you against the door. But he knows that he canât. He would ruin what you are having and he could never get over this heartbreak.
Jungkook looks at your toothbrush as he cleans the shoe. Sometimes he thinks about how it would feel to be represented in your bathroom as the second toothbrush right next to yours. Â
Jungkook bites down on his tongue, burning holes into the empty space next to your toothbrush. He would put so much effort into taking care of himself so you could always look at the best version of him. He would do skincare nights with you. He would try out hair masks with you and rub body lotion on the spots you canât reach. He would brush his teeth, floss them and use mouthwash religiously just so his kisses would always taste good. He would do all of this if it meant you had an attractive boyfriend.
Jungkook looks away. He is doing it again, he is getting delusional. He shouldnât do that. It isnât his right.Â
He turns off the water and leaves the bathroom so he could return the slipper to you.
You are in the kitchen, looking at him instantly.
âIs it gone?â you ask him.
âYup, itâs gone. Your slipper.â
âThank you seriously. You just saved my lifeâ, you say and lift a bottle of his favorite beer. âThank You Beer?â
He shakes his head, âI need to drive.â
âOkay. Then a Thank You Water?â
âYeah, I can drink that.â
Jungkook accepts the offer because he can stay with you longer that way.
âComing right up. Get comfy in the meantime.â
Jungkook waits on the sofa, but stands up when you come inside the room. He accepts the water and sits back down. You plop down right in front of him, pulling your legs onto the pillow. Your knees are almost touching the side of thigh.
âYou seriously saved my ass tonight. I was already in bed when I felt something tickle my arm and then I turned on the lights and it was right on my arm. I screamed so loud, you have no idea.â
âThat sounds traumatic.â
âIt was traumatic.â You shudder. âI hate bugs.â
Jungkook laughs softly.
âWhat? Are you laughing at me?â
âNo, just laughing âcause I agree. You really hate bugs.â
âI do. Awful things, seriously.â
He laughs and you laugh as well. Your eyes meet again. He takes a sip of his water then asks a question which scares him a little.
âWhy did you call me?â
âWhy not?â
âI, I meanâ, he stutters, feeling his heart do somersaults.
âYou were my first thought. Itâs probably because youâre always keeping me safe.â
Jungkook swears he wants to kiss you right now. He is the first person you think of when you need help. He is your safe person. Wow, wow, wow.
âIs that weird to say?â you ask him shyly.
âNot at allâ, he gets out in a terribly hoarse voice.
âOkay phew. I knew that I could count on you.â
Jungkook gives you a smile. One you retort with a vast glance at his lips.
Jungkook brings the empty glass to the kitchen to clean it after he finishes it. You follow him.Â
âYou donât have to clean thatâ, you tell him, trying to reach for the glass but he moves it away.
âI got itâ, he assures you, looking at you over his arm.
You and he are so close again. He canât stop looking into your eyes. He knows that he is delusional, but in his mind, your eyes are so bright when you look at him. But itâs not real and he is acting stupid when he is staring like that. He turns his head away, blind to the few more seconds your eyes seem to linger on his face.
âWhat were you doing when I called you?â you ask him, watching his hands as he washes the glass.
âWorking out.â
âReally? At this time?â
âThatâs when I get energised.â
âOf course you do. What were you doing?â
âJust stuff on the floor.â
âNice. Like push ups and stuff?â
âYeah and sit ups.â
âThatâs cool.âÂ
He has his back turned to you, putting away the glass. He is wearing a white oversized shirt, but the movement makes it stick to his body, showing not only his skinny waist but also his built, muscular back. His shoulders grew so much over the past seven months. (Seven months ago was when you decided to download a dating app and told Jungkook about it. Jungkook started working out harder since then.)Â
He closes the cupboard and turns.Â
âSomething wrong?â he asks, somehow oblivious to your stares.Â
âNothing, no uhm.â You look to the side. âYou probably wanna leave now?â
He doesnât want to leave.
âIf you still need me here, I can stayâ, he offers.
Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.
âReally?â
He nods his head, giving you a sweet smile with teeth. He would do anything for you, even mess up his sleep schedule.
âMaybe there is another bug, you know?â you say, playing with your own fingers shyly.
His heart is jumping in joy. He can stay longer.Â
âThat could be possible, yeah. Should we check?â he offers as calmly as possible.
âYeah, please.â
Yay! Yay! Yay!
âI know I sound so stupid.â
âYou donât. Come on, Iâll check.â
You and he go to your bedroom together. Jungkook wants to hold your hand, but knows that he canât. You close the door to your bedroom. His pulse flutters for a moment. In another lifetime, this would be the moment you pull him into a kiss. But Jungkook knows that stupid things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies, not reality.
He has to act as your best friend who doesnât have a crush on you if he wanted to or not. He lifts your blanket and shakes it out.
âNo bugsâ, he comments.
âThatâs good, yeah. I should probably check the pillows.â
You crawl onto bed and make it your job to flip each individual pillow. Jungkook looks at you for a moment. He hates that things like different lifetimes are stuff of movies. Because in a different lifetime, he jumps onto bed with you to hug you. He listens to your giggle and makes you giggle even harder by tickling your sides.
You, oblivious to his longing stares, flip yet another pillow.Â
âNo bugs here, thank god. I probably sound insane to you, but Iâm actually so scared that thereâs a whole bug family in this room.â
âYou donât sound insane. Iâll take care of them if we find them.â
âYouâre seriously my hero.â
Jungkook is thinking. Maybe he could still make you laugh, he thinks. Not by showering you in skinship, but differently.Â
âHey, check this outâ, he says.
âWhat? Did you find another bug?!â you gasp, whipping around instantly.
âIâm a bug. Bzzzâ, he says and jumps onto bed, flapping his arms as if he was a bug flying.
You cough out air, following it up with a loud laugh.
Jungkook flops onto his back and wiggles his limps.
âNow Iâm flipped onto my back and canât get upâ, he says, squirming from side to side stupidly. âHelp me. Bzzzz.â
You laugh to the point it becomes just a little ugly and way too loud. At least you would call it that. Jungkook calls it the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. He loves to be goofy when it means that he can make you laugh. Some people call him childish and tell him to act his age, but Jungkook doesnât care about these people because you love the way he is. You always smile and laugh so much when he gets goofy and childish and it is so worth every rude comment he gets. One time, he played around with a snapback hat, acting silly with it until you cackled loudly. Another time he showed you a card trick with goofy sound effects, basking in the giggles you gave him. He knows that he looks stupid in these moments, but he would literally turn into a silly jester if it meant that you could laugh just one more time.
âHelp me, Iâm a bug and I canât get upâ, he whines dramatically.
âWait, Iâll help youâ, you joke and place your hands on his torso. One on his chest, the other on his stomach.
He tenses up like a board of wood, forgetting all about being silly. His limbs drop, as does his heart. You are touching him! This never happened before when he acted goofy. What should he do? What is the correct reaction to this?
âWhy are you such a heavy bug? I canât flip youâ, you are still being playful with him, but Jungkook canât find humour anymore. He is starstruck.Â
He chuckles deeply, letting out a breathy, âyeah.âÂ
You glance at him. The second your eyes meet, his heart is racing. You are so fucking beautiful.Â
âHehâ, he lets out and places his hand over yours, eyes flitting to your lips unknowingly.
âHmâ, you let out, studying his gazing eyes. Your lips feel kissed just from his look.Â
âMhmâ, he hums and smiles, shimmying his head just a little closer to you. He feels your minty breath swirl over his face like this, squeezing your hand in reaction. What if he just did it? What if he just kissed you right here and now?
Your smile falls.
âSorryâ, you whisper, pulling your hands back and sitting up.Â
Jungkook gasps for air, coming back to reality. What was this moment? Is he going crazy? Why would he do that?
Your eyes meet for a brief second then you look away again, rubbing the side of your neck.
Jungkook sits up, âI should, uhm, probably check under the bed too, right?â he tries to change topics and rolls over to stick his head under the bed. He might die of heart palpitations.
There are a few boxes under the bed, some shoe boxes and an exposed adult toy. Jungkook does a double take. Oh god, panic.
Jungkook shoots back up, staring at you with big eyes.
âWhat?â
âYou uhmâŠâ
âWhat?â You crawl to the edge and bend down to look, shooting up again within a second, âWhat did you see??â
His entire face flushes, he looks to the side instantly, right hand coming to rub the side of his neck. Your entire face feels on fire, you want to die on the spot.
âI, I didnât see anything I swearâ, he stutters.
âKook, please donât remember thisâ, you insist, shaking him by his shoulders.
âItâs seriously fineâ, he assures you, panicking so so much.
âThis is so embarrassing.â
âNo, itâs okay. Sorry for invading your space like that.â
âIâm actually gonna cry, please donât remember thisâ, you beg him.
âI didnât even see anythingâ, he lies, feeling his heart give up. For real, it will give up. He feels so guilty. You are so upset and uncomfortable and itâs all his fault. âIâm sorry.â
âNo you, I guess, I donât know, I justâ, you stutter, unable to form any coherent sentences.
Jungkook feels just as awkward as you, suddenly needing to stand up.
âI think I should goâ, he says.
âReally?â
âYeah, itâs getting late.â
âOh, yeah. Totally.â
Fuck, fuck, fuck. You fucked it. You are internally panicking, blind to the fact that Jungkook is panicking as well.
His face is so red and itâs making him scared that you can see it. He doesnât want you to think that he is imagining you like that, because he really isnât. But for just a second it crossed his mind and it managed to dye his face so red that he feels like crying. Of course he wants to stay with you. Of course he wants to spend every single second of this night with you, talking and laughing and looking at you, but he might not be able to get rid of this blush right now. He needs to leave.
You follow behind him, panicking more and more. You let him put on his shoes and his beanie, you watch him close his jacket unable to say anything. You swear that you always clean up after yourself, but you were busy this morning and forgot to put it away after sanitizing it. Jungkook was never supposed to see it. Not him. Everyone but him.
âIâll text you once Iâm homeâ, Jungkook tells you.
âYouâre not disgusted now, are you?â you finally get the scary words out.
âWhat?â
You are both dragging out the inevitable.Â
âI donât know, justâŠI tried the dating app stuff. I met people, you know?â
Jungkook feels like dying when you talk about this stuff. He stands in the apartment complex hallways, looking at you as you tell him about your hook ups and he wants to fucking die as he does. He has been loyal to you ever since he started this stupid crush on you. Of course he knows that it is impossible of him to expect the same from you. But he has been so fucking loyal to you that you literally broke his heart seven months ago when you told him about your newest download. He wasnât strong enough to get over his crush, so now he dies all over again each time you tell him about your hook-ups.
âAnd it just felt weird. I couldnât do itâ, you confess.
âReally?â suddenly what happened before is wiped from his mind. You never went through with it? His loyalty was reciprocated? Jungkook knows that he is being so delusional right now and yet he still hangs on to your every word like a worshipper of your syllables, staring at your lips as you talk.
âYeah, but I still have needs, you know? Oh god, why did I say that? This didnât make it better. Just forget I ever said anything.â
âI, I didnât hear anythingâ, Jungkook stutters, feeling weak-kneed. The wall between him being a good person and a reckless person is as fragile as a sheet of fresh ice. One wrong step from you and he might actually confess how he really feels.
âOkay good, letâs keep it at that.â You push at his chest. Jungkook swears he actually whimpers as you do it. âGo home and let us forget about all of this, please.â
Should he do it? Should he be reckless?
You step back, now standing in your apartment.
Do it! Open, mouth!
âText me once youâre home, okay?â
âOkay.â
No! This isnât the right thing to say! Be reckless!
âThank you for tonight, sleep tight.â
âSweet dreams.â
Tell her! Fucking tell her!
The door closes.
Jungkook falls out of his fearful trance, gasping for air. His heart tells him to knock for another chance, his mind tells him not to. He turns and leaves, hitting his own head as punishment for being the most stupid person that ever existed. Tonight could have gone so well. He could have had more time with you, he got the confirmation that you never tried the dating app thing, he had everything and he has to ruin it by being a creep. Why did he look under your bed? Thatâs where most people store their sexy stuff. Why did he have to make you uncomfortable? What if you never want to see him again? What if he ruined your friendship without ever doing the one thing he always wished to ruin it with? In his dreams he always ruined it by confessing his feelings, but his reality was because he was a creep.
Jungkook cries in his car on his way home. He forgets about texting you and spends a sleepless night regretting his choices.
Maybe he did fall asleep, otherwise it would be impossible for his phone to rip him awake the next day. He barely opens his puffy eyes at first, but opens them widely when he sees that it is you calling him.
âHello?â he picks up hastily.
âOh thank god. You didnât text me last night and I was worried.â
The text! Jungkook slaps his own forehead, sitting up straight.
âIâm so sorry, IâŠâ
âItâs okay, I already had a gist that you forgotâ, you assure him, âdo you have time?âÂ
âOf course, whatâs up?â
âYou know, uhm.â You laugh in embarrassment. âLast night was a mess, wasnât it?â
âNo uhm, itâs fine.â
âYou wouldnât be down for a grocery trip with barbeque and beer afterwards, would you? My treat, as an apology for traumatising you.â
âOf course, I would. Today?â
âYes, in like two hours? Iâll get off work soon and could go straight to the store.â
You and Jungkook often go grocery shopping together. You already have a favourite store to go to. Jungkook loves these moments. He loves to carry the heavy bags for you and get the stuff you canât reach. He loves to push the cart while you tell him about your day and then load the groceries into the bags with you. In another lifetime, you and he push the cart together and he steals kisses between aisles. In another lifetime, he holds your hand and the bags in the other. And in another lifetime, you and he go to your apartment to cook dinner for date night on the couch. Jungkook really wishes to live a different life sometimes.
âTwo hours sounds greatâ, he agrees in a cool voice even if he wants to squeal. He gets to go grocery shopping with you! How amazing!
âNice, then weâll see each other there.â
âYes, weâll see each other. Iâm really excited for it.â
âMe too. See you later, yeah? My boss is coming back.â
âSee you later. Good luck at work.âÂ
âThanks, Kook. Bye bye.â
Goodbye, my everything, my dream girl, my love. He thinks.
âBye.â He says.
The phone call ends. Jungkook drops back into the pillow and lets out a yelp of celebration, following it up with excessive kicking and punching of the air as well as squeaky giggles.Â
He didnât ruin everything and he will see you in two hours. Today is the best day of his life! But wait! Jungkook gasps and jumps out of bed.
âI need to get ready! Shower and wash my hair and pick an outfit! And do my skincare and brush my teeth! There is so much to do, oh godâ he talks to himself, running through his apartment.
You are pacing in front of the store. Jungkook isnât late, you are just early. Early enough to become painfully aware of your nervousness. You wonder how it will be between the two of you after last night. You could barely fall asleep because you were so embarrassed. Work didnât distract you either, your thoughts kept repeating what had happened last night. You hope that he doesnât look at you differently after what he had to see. It would literally ruin you.
Jungkook is your best friend. But if someone asked you honestly, you would say that he is the boy of your dreams. He is everything you ever dreamed of and everything you will never be able to have. He is too perfect for you. If there were no consequences for your actions, you would tell him how you really feel. You would tell him that you think that he is the most attractive man and person you have ever seen, that he is the kindest soul with the sweetest heart. That he is talented and amazing and the funniest person ever. And that you feel safe with him.Â
You would tell him that every time he comes to your place or you to hisâ and you spend time together, you wish that it was a date instead. You want to tell him that every time your bodies touch, your heart jumps out of your chest. You want to tell him that you keep repeating all the moments with him over and over again and that sometimes at work, you text him because you canât stop thinking about him. You also want to tell him that you thought about killing the bug yourself before deciding to call Jungkook just to have him close.
And the worst of it all? You want to tell Jungkook that the only reason why you downloaded the dating app was to get over your feelings for him because you knew that someone as perfect as Jungkook would never want to have you. But actions have consequences and so you call him your best friend whilst secretly wishing for him to just be reckless and kiss you.
Jungkook appears on the horizon, swerving through the crowd in a stoic expression. Your heart speeds up instantly. He is wearing black pants with a stripped shirt and a black jacket today. His hair falls on soft waves, his skin glows in the sun. He is so dreamy and handsome.Â
His eyes find you in front of the store, his face lights up and he lifts his arm to wave at you. You wave back, bouncing on your tiptoes. He saw you! He is waving at you!Â
He hurries through the crowd faster than before, reaching you within moments.
âHey thereâ, he says.
âHeyâ, you tell him and give him a hug.Â
Jungkook short circuits. He gets no time to react before you already step back again. You just hugged him. Holy moly, wow.Â
âSorry, was that not okay?â you ask, studying his frozen features.
âWhat?â He flinches back to life. âNo, it was amazing, I mean, it was okay. I uhm, I have this for you.â
He lifts a bouquet of sunflowers.
âSunflowers? For me?â
âYeah, I saw them and thought of you.â
âYou did?â
You accept them with shortened breath and a quickened heart. You are currently screeching inside. You feel on cloud nine.
âA-as a best friend of course, because weâre best friends.â
âOh. Yes.â You clear your throat. âWe are. Thank you for the friendship flowers. Iâll put them in water once Iâm home. Hopefully theyâll survive till then.âÂ
âIâm sure they will. Thatâs why I put the paper towel there.â
âI know, I saw. Thatâs so clever.â
âYeah, thanks.â He does a little twirl so he stands next to you, hands stuffed into the pockets of his pants in a cute way. âSo what do we need? Any particular groceries in mind?âÂ
You and he start walking to the store. He opens the door for you, holding it until you are inside. He follows and goes straight for the carts. You are next to him.
âYes, Iâm out of multigrain rice so Iâm buying all of them to make my mixture again and I wanna stock up on udon because they have a sale going on.â
âNeat, a sale. Iâll get some tooâ, Jungkook says, leaning his elbows on the cart as he pushes it. âI wanna see if they have the lychees again. They were so yummy last time.â
âThey were. Especially with that sauce you made.â
âI can make them for you again.â
âReally?âÂ
He nods his head, âsure, you could come over Saturday and weâll watch a movie. I heard that thereâs a few new movies to stream.â
âI should be free on Saturday.â
âNice, then youâll come over.â
You and he exchange a look, breaking it quickly to look at opposite sides. Unbeknownst to either, you are both panicking. Jungkook is so excited to have you come over but is also terribly nervous about the aspect of it. You canât wait to visit Jungkook but are also scared of the yearning.Â
A moment of silence where you each fill the cart with stuff you want. You and Jungkook always fill up the cart together and then separate the groceries afterwards. In another lifetime, you donât need to separate the groceries. In another lifetime, you share the same bag and fill the same fridge to cook from the same pots and eat on your shared couch whilst a show was running.Â
âHow was your day?â Jungkook asks because other lifetimes donât exist and in his real life, the only shared thing he gets with you is time.
âIt was okay. Yours?â
âI woke up like two hours ago.â
You chuckle, âof course you sleep while I have to work my ass off.â
âHey, Iâm on a well-deserved break, I earned the night owl lifestyleâ, he throws back, making you laugh with it.
âIâm not saying anything against it. I need a break soon.â
âIs work stressful?â
âYeah, quite. Thereâs been lots of new projects coming in.â
âNo, Iâm sorry. If there is something I can do, let me know.â
You look at him.Â
âI will, thank you.â
In another lifetime, you would hug his arm and rest your head against it and you would tell him that you donât mind a stressful workday when it meant spending time with him afterwards.Â
Jungkook meets your eyes. His heart flutters nervously, speeding up more when you look away. If he was your boyfriend, he would hold your hand and tell you that you looked beautiful after a long work day.Â
âI like the way you did your hair todayâ, he says instinctively. He has no idea why he said that because he never says stuff like that to you. He panics because of it. His tongue worked quicker than his brain.Â
You reach up to feel your hair, âyou do?â
âYes, it fits you really well.âÂ
âThank youâ, you murmur and cross a corner without warning, leaving him alone for a few seconds.
Jungkook follows after you hastily, confused as to why you so abruptly fled. Oh no. He went too far with the compliment. He definitely creeped you out again.Â
You are squatting down in front of the grain section, reading the labels carefully. Jungkook parks the cart next to you, standing still. He tries not to, but still looks at you. You shift your eyes to him, widen them and look away again. Jungkook swears he might cry. He made you uncomfortable.Â
âIâm sorry for saying that. I, I meant it as a friend.â
âHm? Ah, itâs okay. Thank you for saying it, I liked itâ, you say and stand up, filling the cart with the grain. Jungkookâs heart flutters happily. He didnât mess up. Yay!
âGot everything you wanted?â he asks.
âYep, except black rice. Do you see it somewhere?â
âUp thereâ, Jungkook says, pointing at it. The lower racks are empty, only the racks which are clearly for staff to reach so they could refill the store are stacked with the rice.Â
âNice.â You try to reach it, but fail. âKook, can you get it?â
âSure, let meâ, he says, stepping right behind you to get the rice from the staff rack. His chest brushes against your back. You gasp. He feels dizzy, but acts nonchalant.
âThere we go yourâŠ.riceâ, Jungkook says, eyes flitting down to you looking up at him. He didnât even realise that you turned.Â
There is almost no distance and so Jungkook tries to step back to be respectful because friends donât stand this close. You grab him by his jacket, making him gulp and panic greatly. His left hand grabs the edge of the shelf, his chest lifts in a deep gasp. You are taller today because of the shoes you are wearing. The shortened distance between your lips is making him dizzy.
âAbout last nightâ, you begin, but he interrupts you before you apologise for something you have no reason to.
âItâs alright. I shouldnât have snooped, Iâm sorry.â
âYou didnât snoop, I justâŠI clean up, I was just busy and forgot and Iâ, you exhales deeply, âIâm not making it any better talking by about it, am I?â
He laughs softly and reaches down to cup your hand, caressing your knuckles softly. The lines blur more and more. You both feel weightless. You can smell his cologne like this, he can smell your perfume. Itâs like you are high on each other.
âIf it makes you feel any better, I have some toys tooâ, he says, making your eyes widen. You look to the side and let out a giggle. Jungkook knows that it is of shy nature and so he giggles with you. âDid that help or did I just embarrass myself for nothing?â
âNo, it helped.â You meet his eyes, fingers squeezing his jacket.Â
Jungkook holds his breath, fingers tightening on the shelf. He is being so greedy. Itâs so unfair to you.Â
âI, uhm.â He clears his throat and slips his hand from the shelf to present the rice to you. âYour rice.â
âOh? Thanks, uhm, put it in the cart.âÂ
He steps back. Your hands slip from his jacket, his fingers stop holding you. They tingle in the memory of how it was to cradle you this way. His thoughts are racing, trying to calculate the weight of his confession. If he confessed, what would he lose? Your friendship, your time, the movie hangouts, the cooking together, the shared workouts, your texts and calls and video chats. All your laughter and smiles and giggles. Jungkook gulps. The loss is too great. He canât confess. Nope, never.Â
He grips the cart and pushes it, hoping that walking it off will help with the heart palpitations. You walk next to him, resting your hand on the metal cage part of the cart.
âDid you sleep well last night?â he asks you.
âCan I be honest? Not really. I was so embarrassed.â
âIâm sorry.â
âItâs not your fault. Iâm just awkward.â
He chuckles, you chuckle with him. You give him a glance.
âI think I donât have to ask you if you slept well at night because you never sleep at night.â
He laughs, you do as well.
âThatâs not true. I can sleep at night too, I simply choose not to. Oh wait. I need buckwheat noodles.â
You and he stop in front of the section. You stay by the cart while Jungkook browses the options.Â
âShould I make you makguksu?â he offers mindlessly.
âToday?â
âYeah.â
âSo you donât wanna go for barbecue and beer?â You chuckle and nudge his arm, sending tingles all over his skin. âDid you already forget again, you doofus?â
âI might have.â He gives you a sorry, cute smile.
Jungkook makes you laugh with it.
âKook, you little scatterbrain youâ, you chuckle, leaning into him.Â
Jungkook leans closer, placing his arm around your waist without touching you. In another lifetime, he would close the last distance. But not in reality. He looks at your lips, asking himself why you seek him out today and why he takes the chances so greedily. He shouldnât do that. You are just friends, nothing more.
âUh, sorryâ, you say and step away again.Â
Jungkook gulps, gasps for air. He doesnât understand what today means, but whatever you are doing is actually messing with him. He hasnât been able to breathe properly ever since that hug you gave him. You seem so clingy, but he doesnât understand why.Â
You grab the cart and push it.
âI think I have everything I need. You?â
âYeah, yeah sureâ, Jungkook stutters, stumbling after you like a lovesick puppy. He doesnât know where to put his hands and so he ends up stuffing them into his pants pockets while his eyes are glued to the back of your head. He is seriously under your spell. Every part of him.
You load the groceries on the conveyor belt together and then load them into separate bags. You pay for all of them and wish the cashier a good day. Jungkook carries the bags like always, while you are allowed to walk freely with the bouquet of flowers cradled in your arms.
âIâll pay you back at homeâ, he says, swerving outside as you hold the door open for him.
âTodayâs on me. As a thank you for yesterday and an apology.â
âWhat? But I bought so muchâ, Jungkook gasps, pouting sadly.
âItâs fine. I have money.â
âBut-â
âNo buts. Iâm paying.â
Jungkook pouts, huffing out air in defeat.
âFine, but Iâll pay for your stuff too one day.â
You chuckle, âdeal.âÂ
You and he walk together.
âYou should really start accepting when I offer. Itâs not a competition.â
âI just feel uncomfortable making you pay.â
âWhy?â
Because youâre his dream girl and you should never have to pay for him. He should be your wallet whenever you are out together, he should fulfil your every wish.Â
âI donât know, just so. You work so hard for your money.â
âYou work just as hardâ, you say and chuckle. âKook, youâre so competitive.â
Jungkook smiles, shaking his head in defeat.Â
âI guess am.â
You grin, hugging the flowers tighter. With a little skip in your steps, you close the distance. Just enough that one small movement would be enough for your arms to brush.Â
Jungkook glances at you. You are gazing at the flowers, smiling so brightly that your nose scrunches up. He could swear that your eyes are sparkling.Â
The lines blur again. He wonders if it would be okay for him to be a bad person, if he was allowed to slip his hand into yours even if you never gave him consent for it. There is not much he can still take.
You lower your nose into the flowers and smell them, closing your eyes in a happy squint. The metaphorical glass of how much Jungkook can take floats over.
He says your name and knows that the next words are coming out of him before he can think them through.
âYeah?â You look at him.
He is nervous and scared, but still talks, âcan we talk about something?â
âSure. Whatâs up?â
Panic. His situation finally sunk into his consciousness.Â
âI uhmâŠuhâŠI have a crush on someone.â
Microexpressions wash over your face. Shock, surprise, disbelief, jealousy, hurt, friendliness. A smile curls your lips. It doesnât reach your eyes.
âYeah? Itâs about time you doâ, the words and your voice carry a hint of teasing, but most of all forced friendliness.
You lower the flowers, carrying them in one hand by your side. They look sad like this. Jungkook doesnât notice because he is staring at the road in front of him because otherwise he would pass out in nervousness. He is almost twenty seven, but feels sixteen again.
âSheâs like really, really great and awesome and amazing and wonderful and so kind and perfectâ, Jungkook continues, heart racing to the point he feels dizzy. He saw this kind of confession in movies. He always thought that it was so cute when the guy did it. It isnât obvious enough to ruin everything just in case you didnât feel the same, but it is still cute enough that you canât help but be giddy.
âMh-hmâ, you hum, nodding your head.Â
âAnd I keep thinking about her. She is so pretty when she laughs and I love being in her presence. She likes my jokes and she always makes me laugh in return. YeahâŠâ
âThatâs great.â
âYeah, she is so great. I really wanna ask if she feels the same.â Jungkook falters in nervousness. He is going to ask the question. He is so scared. âIf you were me, what would you do?â
You take a deep breath and release it loudly, âI donât know. I havenât had a crush in so long.â
Jungkook falters, heart tightening. Oh no. Oh no, oh no. Oh. This is bad. This is really bad.Â
âAh, I see.â He gulps.
âBut let me know if you figure it out. Then we can go on a double date.âÂ
Wait. Wait. This is bad. Double date? This is so bad.
âWhat do you mean?â he asks weakly.
âYou know, you and your girl and me and my boy.â
âYou have a boy?â
âYeah, soon. Iâm talking to this boy on the dating app. He is very cute.â
âButâŠdidnât you say that you gave up on the app?â
âNo uhâŠno, itâs just that I only talk to this one boy now.â
Jungkook bites back tears.
âI see.âÂ
âMhm, yeah. Letâs go on a double date.â
No. No this is all wrong. No this isnât what was meant to happen. No.Â
âPlease.â
Jungkook doesnât even realize that he begged out loud until you look at him in question.
âPlease what?â
You and he stop. Strangers stream past you like you and he were two rocks in a river. You are facing each other, so close yet so far away.Â
You lied to him. There is no other boy. There never was and never will be. But there will always be other girls for him while you stay his best friend. Lying is all that you have at this point.Â
âPlease what?â you repeat the question.
âIâŠâ Jungkook breathes. âIâŠnevermind.â
Silence. Your eyes are locked so deeply that the world around you is blurry.
âOkay?â
âMhm yeah.â
His jaw tightens and he breaks the eye contact, looking to the side with his tongue in his cheek. He seemed angry. You would be lying if you said that you werenât feeling angry yourself. You turn away from him and continue walking. You donât want to be next to him right now. It hurts to only stay his best friend.
He looks at the back of your head and how it becomes smaller and smaller from distance. He doesnât understand you. He thought that the way you looked at him in the store meant something. And yet all this time you had another boy. He feels so betrayed that for just a second, he considers walking the other direction and leaving you to wonder where he went. However, two things hold him back; his competitiveness and his honest feelings for you.
He wonât stay your best friend any longer. He just decided that. He is going to fight for you, make you fall for him and forget all about the stupid boys you meet on this stupid dating app. He is better than any of them. He could treat you better, make you laugh harder, give you better hugs and kisses and provide you with afterglow so addicting you will get hot cheeks at work just thinking about it. He is your best friend, goddamn it, and he knows you better than any of these strangers ever will. And he is not going to lose you to some boy.
He jogs to catch up with you, calling your name with a certain harshness.
You turn. Your eyes meet. Jungkookâs brain short circuits.
âWhat?â you ask him, sounding small because of being called so harshly.
âI, I was just wondering, uhm, should we get ice cream after?â he asks because he panicked.
You shrug your shoulders, âI guess.â
âItâs on me, yeah?â
âYeah, okay.â
Jungkook inches closer, saying your name softly.
âWhat do you want?â
âI messed up before.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI, I just. I thought that I was doing a good job, but I think I made you think something else.â
âJungkook. I had a long day, please donât talk in riddles.â
âDonât date other boys.â
âExcuse me?â
Jungkook gulps, panicking because of your offended and harsh tone.
âI, I, I justâ, he stutters, widening his eyes.
âNo. What do you mean? I can date who I want.â
âI know, I didnât mean it like that. I meant that, oh god, I meant that I donât want you to see other boys.â
âHuh?â
âAh no, wait.â He slaps his own forehead. âWait.â
You cross your arms in front of your chest, âwhat makes you think that you can tell me what I can or canât do?â
âNo I didnât mean it like that. Wait just give me a moment, please Iâm panicking.â
You purse your lips, studying his face intensely.
âAre you also so nervous?â he asks.
âWhatâs with you all of a sudden?â you ask him, honestly worried. His face is as red as ripe strawberries.
Jungkook closes the distance and takes your hands, eliciting a gasp from you. He squeezes them gently, staring into your eyes as deeply as possible.
âThis wasnât how I always imagined this to go, but I canât stay quiet anymore. ___, the girl I have a crush on is-â
âSeriously?â
You and Jungkook turn around at the angry voice next to you. Â
âSuho? What are you doing here?â you ask.
âWhoâs that?â Jungkook says.
âKim Suho. I met him on the dating app. We went on like one date a month agoâ, you explain and slip your hands out of Jungkookâs hold to turn to the other guy, âwhat are you doing here?â
Jungkook stares at him darkly, clenching his jaw. You told him about this dude in passing. He hates him so much, hating him even more now that he interrupted this moment.
âThatâs what youâre going with? Seriously?â Suho throws back.
âYeah, you-â
âWhat the fuck are you doing with him? I told you to stop being friends with him, didnât I?â
Jungkook looks at you with big eyes. You never told him that. You always said that you lost interest in Suho because of different hobbies, but never mentioned that he could have been the actual reason.
âAnd I told you that you canât tell me what to do. Jungkook is my best friend and I wonât give him up for a man.â
âYes but I wasnât any man, I was your man.â
âHuh? No you werenât. We went on one date and you totally lost it when I told you that I had a male best friend.â
âBecause he isnât just your friend. Youâre in love with him.â
Jungkook swears that he passes out standing up for a second. Feelings? You have feelings for him? Did you tell Suho that or is he assuming because he is one of those weird men that think women arenât allowed to have male friends? What does all of this mean?
âWhat?â You laugh nervously. âNo? Of course not.â
âOh donât be ridiculous. I followed you from work and through the store. I saw everything.â
âHuh? What?â you gasp, hurrying to Jungkook instinctively because you know that he will keep you safe.
âDude, what the fuck? You creep, stay away from herâ, Jungkook says harshly and steps in front of you, feeling the fire of protectiveness start to burn in his chest.
âI saw what I saw. You have feelings for each otherâ, Suho says, pointing an accusing finger at you and Jungkook.
Jungkook and you exchange a look.Â
âNo IâŠâ
Suho scoffs and looks at Jungkook.
âAnd you? Gonna fucking pretend that youâre just friends or should I start punching you?â
âDude, Iâve never even met youâ, Jungkook defends himself, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
âIâll still fucking punch you.â
âDonât you dareâ, you hiss at him.
ïżœïżœShut up, ___.â
âHey, donât talk to her like thatâ, Jungkook speaks up loudly, making himself bigger. He doesnât care when people are aggressive to him, but he cannot accept aggression towards you.
âOr what?â
âYou wanna find out? Donât talk to her like that.â
Suho rushes to Jungkook and pushes at his chest. He thought that he could move him, but he canât. Jungkook just gawks at him in utter surprise.
âWhat are you doing?â he asks confused.
âWhy arenât you budging? Fall over you idiotâ, Suho growls and tries again with all his might.Â
Jungkook takes a small step back but then stays unmoving.Â
âDude, seriously. What are you doing?â
Suho growls and punches Jungkook. Except that he is so bad at it that Jungkook can easily dodge him. He reacts calmly to the aggression, redirecting Suho by turning him and giving him a gentle push away from him.
Suho stumbles and whips around.
âYou-â
Jungkook steps closer, âgive it up, man.â
Suho shifts his attention to you, pointing his finger at you. He tries to get to you by swerving past Jungkook, but the latter steps in front of you again, stopping Suho with a firm hand on his chest. He didnât show it, but the contact was definitely made with strength because Suho stumbles back from it.
âI said. Give it up. Iâm not gonna repeat myself againâ, he warns. For just a second his voice was deeper than usual and his eyes darker. You canât stop staring in awe, feeling so attracted to him that it is difficult not to grab him right here and now.
Suho ignores him, talking over Jungkookâs shoulder.
âItâs over. Iâm breaking up with you.â
âHuh? We werenât even together in the first place?â you say very confused.
âYes, wellâŠ. Now itâs really over. And just so you know, Iâll block you on everything.â
âI mean, okay.â
Suho turns and runs down the street clumsily.
A moment of silence. Jungkook turns to you. He is ready to take you into his arms if you need support.
âEverything okay?â he asks hesitantly.
âHonestly? I couldnât care less about this tantrum. What the fuck was that? We went on one date and it sucked ass. I mean, who in their right mind expects someone to give up their best friend? I donât even know this dude.â
âWould you have done it if you liked him?â
âWhat? No, of course not. I like you, not him.â
âWhat?!â
You look at Jungkook with big eyes.
âI, I meanâŠâ you look at his lips and Jungkook finally notices.
Holy fuck. Suho was right.
He drops the grocery bags and closes the distance, cupping your face. To his delighted surprise, you practically melt into his hands, gazing at him with dreamy eyes and your fingers closing around his wrists greedily.
âWas he right?â Jungkook asks, looking between your right and left eye. âDo you have feelings for me?â
âIâm scaredâ, you whisper.
âScared of what?â
âYou are so perfect and Iâm not. I donât want to know how you feel about me, so justâŠletâs just forget about what happened please.â
âYouâre not perfect? What the fuck? Youâre literally perfect. If someoneâs unworthy, itâs me.â
âWhat?â
Jungkook gulps.Â
You touch his chest.
âKook, what?â
âYouâre my fucking dream girl, ___â he finally confesses and now canât be stopped, âI get excited when you text me and get sad when I donât hear from you. Each time we hang out, I kinda wish that we somehow magically end up together. I repeat every little touch and shared laughter and look. Sometimes I canât fall asleep because of you, but wish to do so because in my sleep I can meet you in my silly, wishful dreams. Do you have any idea how in love I am with you?â
âAre you serious?âÂ
Jungkook nods his head, forcing your tears to finally flow. He gasps and begins wiping them away instantly.
âIâm sorry. Fuck, Iâm sorry. Please donât cry, I promise I wonât try anything. You, you wonât lose your best friend.â
âIâm just happy. So happy.â
âYou are?â
âI feel the same for you. I have done so for a long time.â
âReally?â
âYes, really.â You sniffle. âYouâre my dream boy too, Jungkook.â
âOh my god. Oh my god! Yippie!â he exclaims and overtaken by happiness, he swoops you off your feet to twirl with you, making you squeal happily as you hold onto him for dear life. Strangers definitely look at you weird, but you couldnât care less. They are non-existent for you and him. He likes you and you like him back. This day is the best day you and he ever had.
He sets you down after the twirling, cradling your face so he could hold it still for way too many kisses. He gives you kisses everywhere except your lips, making you giggle and laugh and tingle the entire time.
âIâm so happy, youâre so pretty and perfect and amazing and pretty and amazing and Iâm gonna kiss you there and there and there and oh my god youâre so perfect, Iâm gonna kiss you there and there, wow oh wowâŠâ he babbles between kisses, truly sending your heart into overdrive.
He probably would have continued his babbling for hours if you hadnât stopped him by lacing your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth into a kiss.
âAndmhgmhâ, he lets out, gawking at you first before the realisation of his situation sinks in. His knees buckle, his left hand grabs your hips and his right hand cradles your head, eyes falling closed. He is kissing you. He feels weightless, floating in time and space. His heart races so much that he feels it throb against his ribcage, the butterflies in his stomach are unbearably exciting. He dreamt of this moment a million times before, fantasised about it twice as much and yet he still wasnât ready for it. Your kiss is like heaven on earth. He swears that he gains new life through it. He wants to kiss you until his lungs run out of air, but you break it.
âWas that okay for me to do?â you ask him shyly.
Now itâs his turn to spill tears and for you to wipe them.
âIâm sorry, I should have ask-â, you donât get to finish your sentence, getting kissed again by Jungkook.
âIâm so fucking happy, you have no ideaâ, he murmurs, showing you his feelings one deep kiss at a time. âYou taste so good.â Kiss, oh so deep. âYour lips are so soft.â Kiss, the kind which makes your knees wobble. âYouâre perfect, youâre so perfect.â
You giggle, gazing up at him droopily. Jungkook giggles as well, peeling his eyes open to gaze dreamily. You and he cup each otherâs faces, resting your foreheads together.
âIâm happy.â
âIâm happy too.â
âWow, Iâm so happy.â
âMe too. So happy.â
You giggle together, swaying from side to side. Nothing, truly nothing, has never felt as right as this.
âWere you trying to confess to me before Suho interrupted us?â
âYeah.â
You giggle as you talk, âyou were really shit at it. I thought you were talking about someone else.â
âI know, I panicked so bad. I was so nervousâ, he is giggling too, âare you actually talking to another boy?â
âOf course not, you doofus. I lied.â
âOh my god, Iâm so relievedâ, he gets out and sweeps you off your feet again, carrying you under your butt. He twirls with you, smiling up at you as you squeak and laugh with your head thrown back.
âJungkook stop please, Iâm getting dizzy.â
He sets you down, but keeps touching you, seeking your closeness by rubbing his nose against your cheek. He is so close that the sunflowers are getting squished between you and him. It is a price you sadly have to pay in exchange for finally being able to be glued together.
âIâm so happy, I love you so much.â
âI love you too, Kook. So like barbeque and beer? Is it a date?â you ask.
âItâs the datiest date that has ever datedâ, he says, making you giggle because he is so cute and funny and you like him so, so much. He giggles with you because you are so perfect and perfect and perfect and he likes you so, so much.
âI feel like we have a lot to talk about.â
âYeah, oh god.â He kisses your cheek multiple times. âYou have to tell me all the thoughts you had when we hung out. Were you also so giddy, oh god, I was always so giddy and I kept looking at you because you are so pretty. Were you looking at me too? And, and did you also wish for me to be reckless? I always wanted you to just kiss me. Iâm talking so much, wow, Iâm so happy.â
You giggle, cuddling into him, âyouâre the cutest person ever. I canât wait to tell you everything.â
You nudge him to leave, but stop when Jungkook exclaims a loud âwait!â
âWhatâs wrong?â
âThe groceries. I almost left them hereâ, he says, bending down to get them.
âOh god, youâre so cuteâ, you snicker, hugging his arm and nuzzling into him like you always wanted to do.
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đčTears on My Piano
*part of the best of both worlds series*
Driver: Charles Leclerc
Genre: SMAU/Fluff
Occupation: Pianist/Songwriter/Artist
â TAG LIST IS CLOSED â
y/nferrai has posted
liked by y/n.nation, charlie_leclerc, trustthefund, thewink, and 3,543,156 others
y/nferrari BEST DAY EVER â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
the dream continues, thank you for everything, I love you all â€ïžđ€
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oscarpiastri congrats! it was an honor to be on the podium with you!
*liked by y/nferrari
vroomvroomgirl she actually did it đđ
y/nwonmonaco OUR GIRL IS THE WINNER OF THE MONACO GP - COULDN'T BE PROUDER
carlossainz55 vamos y/n!
*liked by y/nferrari
charlie_leclerc glad to have witnessed your win! đ€© I'll see you again soon!
*liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you Charlie! glad the lucky charm worked đ
charlespianonote the comment was so cute - I wonder if they're together đ€
worldof_y/n she's liked so many other comments, don't get ahead of yourself
leclercmusic but đ she responded back and didn't do that to her fellow drivers
l/nstappen she responded to max and lewis đ
l/nleclerc WAIT DID HE SAY SEE HER AGAIN SOON?
maxverstappen1 great race y/n! (even if I wanted to sleep through it) I couldn't be more proud of you đ€
*liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari maxieeeee đ„č thank you â€ïž
charliesquared I can just envision y/n freaking out when she met Charlie since she's such a big fan đ€Ł
charlieputh great race y/n! I'm so so proud of you 𫶠(pls stream my music)
y/nfan Ariana what are you doing here?????????
lewishamilton congrats future teammate! you're on your way to doing big things!
*liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari LEWIS MAKING ME CRY - I CAN'T WAIT TO RACE WITH YOU NEXT YEAR đâ€ïž
cary/n the Carlos erasure is terrible đ
youry/n girl get over it đ
scuderiaferrari our princess! â€ïž đ
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by charlieputh, yamaha, y/nferrari, charliesquared, and 1,830,265 others
charlie_leclerc today I got to fulfill a childhood dream of mine that included a photoshoot and putting on a Ferrari F1 helmet! Merci Ferrari and GQ for making this photoshoot happen - it was a lot of fun â€ïžđ
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leclercs7thgrammy we've lost him to the vroom vroom people đđ
charliesangels models better be thankful Charles chose music and not modeling
scuderiaferrari lovely to have you again Charlie! it was great to see you and not just hear your voice đ
*liked by charlie_leclerc
charlieferrari this just proves that y/n put his songs on their playlists
scuderiaferrari (it's the only thing she listens to đ€)
charlieferarri I KNEW IT
y/nferrari my helmet looks better on you than it does me đ„Č
charlie_leclerc nooooooooo, it could never. I think it looks best on it's driver đ
y/ngoesvroom your honor they're sickening
charlieputh so this is what you've been up to instead of meeting me in the studio đ
charlie_leclerc sorry mate, I was not about to give up this opportunity! (this may help us later on with the - you know đ)
charlieputh ooohhhhhhhhh
charliesquared WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
puth4you JOINT ALBUM KINGS? JOINT ALBUM ANNOUCEMENT TONIGHT?? đ
vroomvroomgirl this is for all the people on twitter who complained about y/n listening to charlie. he's the biggest fan boy of all
charliepianokeys damn, never knew he'd look so good in red đ€€
taylorswift so happy for you Charlie đ„ł
*liked by charlie_leclerc
maxverstappen1 would have looked better if it was blue đ
y/nferrari đ€șđ€șđ€ș GET YOUR OWN MUSICIAN MAX
maxverstappen1 WHAT IF I LIKE CHARLIE'S MUSIC TOO?
y/nferrari YOU TOOK MY FIRST WIN AWAY, YOU WON'T TAKE AWAY MY ARTIST OF THE YEAR
maxverstappen1 YOU'RE STILL ON THAT? THAT WAS 5 YEARS AGO
y/nferrari AND???? YOU RUINED MY RACE
charlie_leclerc guys đ€Ł
piano_f1intro not l/nstappen beefing in the comments over Charlie and he's just âșïžđ
y/n16l/n do you think y/n volunteered to let Charlie use her helmet intead of Carlos?
vamoscarlos55 she probably didn't even let Carlos know that Charlie was coming đ
f1gossipgirl I'm just waiting for the rumors to start up about Charlie and y/n
sillygeese twitter is having a field day with these two
f1wags has posted
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f1wags due to some very recent activity between Charlie and our grid queen y/n l/n, we thought we'd do an intro for a possible wag
charles marc herve percival leclerc, better known as charlie, is a monegasque pianist/songwriter/artist. charlie released his first single "as long as I breathe" in 2015, which was an overnight sensation. since then, the monegasque's online platform has grown as well as his world-wide popularity. the artist has won many awards, which includes 7 grammys to his name.
in 2023, he toured with Taylor Swift for the first leg of the Eras Tour. he had been featured on the midnights album as a writer and producer of "snow on the beach", "karma", and "midnight rain". his most recent work with the female singer was "the prophecy" from TTPD. Charlie has also worked with many other artist such as Adele, Maneskin, Noah Kahan, and Hozier. He is rumored to be in works with Charlie Puth, someone he has known since his early days.
y/n's fans started to comment on his posts after a small interaction on the driver's monaco post in may. however, they have been following each other on socials since early 2020. one of y/n's highlights on instagram has a post from April of that year where charlie's song is loudly playing in the background.
charlie has expressed that Ferrari is his favorite formula 1 team and recently did a photoshoot with the team along with GQ Magazine, which might mean some type of sponsorship from the brand.
is there something going on between these two or is it just friendly banter? đ
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f1gossipgirl there's definitely something there, but I think they're just really good friend
worldofpiano they would make a good couple though. they're both very successful so it's not like they're using each other for gain đ€·ââïž
y/nsferrarif40 y/n has also been to many of his concerts before đ
*liked by f1wags
charlieputh forgot to mention that I've also known y/n for years, just putting that out đ
charliesquared he really said "I've known y/n for longer so back off"
f1_delulu not Oscar creeping in the likes đžđ€š
princessferrari at least he's better than her timothee đ€ą
shewoninmonaco WE DON'T SPEAK HIS NAME đ€
oscarpiastri let's not bring him up pls
drivesincircles WAIT Y/N DATED TIMOTHEE CHALAMET?? (also hi Oscar I love you)
princessferrari yes she did but he was AWFUL
drivers&co I think Charlie is a very good good fit for y/n
l/nstappen even though I could see max and y/n together, her and charlie would be so cute
charliesangels CHARLIE - DROP ANOTHER ALBUM - AND MY LIFE IS YOURS đ§ââïž
charlieputh and charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by y/nferrari, dior, charliesquared, vroomvroom16, and 1,958,730 others
charlieputh CHARLIE - OUT EVERYWHERE JUNE 10, 2024
this album has been in work for almost a year, and it can final be yours to hear. charlie_leclerc has been my rock and bandmate for more than that time and I cannot thank him enough (even if he left me for some cars)
final stadiums will be out soon for the tour, so be on the lookout đ
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leclercs7thgrammy oh that 8th is going to hit different after this album đźâđš
y/nsworld dang y/n was here early đ€Ł
y/nferrari literally cannot wait to listen to it. I'm so proud of you đ«¶
*liked by charlieputh
charlieputh I'm surprised you haven't blown up my phone asking to hear it early
y/nferrari your phone is on do not disturb đ
ferrari_listens I just know that y/n is going to have the album on repeat
charlie_leclerc glad to have been apart of this journey with you mate. it was a blast to see you in the studio đ
*liked by charlieputh
charlieputh now I'll have to return you the favor for your next album
asharpcharles CHARLES ALBUM WHEN?????
maxverstappen1 great demos, can't wait to hear the entire thing
y/nferrari YOU'VE HEARD THE DEMOS? CHARLIE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU đĄ
charlie_leclerc what did I do? đ„ș
y/nferrari not you charlie âșïž, the other one đ
charlieputh MAX YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL - Y/N STOP TRYING TO CALL ME
y/nferrari fine.
charlieputh thank God it stopped
charlieputh DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOM ON ME? HOW'D YOU EVEN GET HER NUMBER???????
y/nferrari đ
charlie16 finally my town is on the list!
charliesversion definitly going to have to get tickets for the Las Vegas show since I'm going to the Grand Prix too!
y/nferrari has posted
liked by charlie_leclerc, y/nworldchamp, verstopen33, and 2,049,867 others
y/nferrari VIVAAAAAA LAS VEGAASSS
the city of sin and lights turned out better than expected and ended with a race win! thank you to all of my supporters tonight! I love you all â€ïžđ«¶
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y/n16 finally had some safety car luck! last year was not going to repeat itself!
princessofferrari thank you ferrari for pitting under the safety car unlike last year đ
carlossainz55 glad to have put my car in p2 behind you! one more race my friend đȘ
*liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari carloossss đ„ș I'm crying in my drivers room đ
oscarpiastri she is because I can hear her from outside
lewishamilton does she cry often? I just want to be ready for next season
carlossainz55 si, either when she's tired, she listens to her sad playlist, or she misses her boyfriend
y/nferrari CARLOS
carlossainz55 oops... đ«ą
l/nstappen3316 UHHHHHH Y/N HAS A BOYFRIEND??
charliexy/n guys - she said she loved her supports, Charlie was in her garage, ergo y/n loves Charlie. I've connected it
asharpcharles you haven't connected shit
charliexy/n I've connect it
vroomvroomgirl guys, if y/n wins the next race, she'll pass lando and finish p2 in the standings!
charlie_leclerc glad to have witness yet another race win! congrats race winner đ
*liked by y/nferrari
y/nferrari thank you for coming even if you have your show tomorrow :)
charlie_leclerc you're attending oui?
y/nferrari wouldn't miss it! đ
leclercs7thgrammy I can't believe I got to watch y/n win the Las Vegas Grand Prix and I get to see Charlie in concert tomorrow!
y/nferrari has posted
liked by maxverstappen1, sainztander, charlie_lelcerc, and 1,957,083 others
y/nferrari gotta lower the noise a little bit now, if he knows I'm in love, he's going to run away (but I could always just catch him in my car đ€Ș)
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shedrivesincircles oh girly is down bad for her boyfriend
ferrari_listens âCharlie be quietâ was her second most listen to song out of the album btw đ
maxverstappen1 ok now I see why you like the album so much
y/nferrari I totally know you cried when they played "never see you again" as a surprise song
maxverstappen1 i did not.
danielricciardo oh he definitly did. I'll send you the proof đ
maxverstappen1 IT WAS SAD OK - ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS THAT ONE SCENE FROM FAST AND FURIOUS
oscarpiastri you watch fast and furious?
y/nferrari YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T WATCH THEM WITH ME BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO INACCURATE
maxverstappen1 THEY ARE! LIKE WHO GOES AN ENTIRE MOVIE WITHOUT FILLING UP ON GAS?????
worldofpiano Charles in the second picture đ€€
charliesangels Charlie on the keyboard >>>
y/nferrari this makes me wanna do something while I'm in vegas đ€
maxverstappen1 well, the car is parked by that chapel thing. we can go to the casino!
danielricciardo I say we go visit the strip!
oscarpiastri but I wanted to see the sphere đ„ș
lewishamitlon guys?
maxverstappen1 you saw the sphere last year Oscar. dan they have casinos on the strip!
oscarpiastri I drove past it. that doesn't count
lewishamilton guys???
danielricciardo isn't the sphere on the strip?
maxverstappen1 oh yeahhhhh, I guess we can do all?
lewishamilton GUYS?
oscarpiastri what lewis?
lewishamitlon where did y/n go?
osco81 they lost y/n oh my gosh I'm dead đ
pianof1_intro I wonder where y/n went...maybe she went to pick up her boyfriend?
y/nferrari has posted
liked by charlieputh, vroomvroomgirl, world_of_y/n, and 1,204,367 others
y/nferrari this was max's fault ok? the chapel was too cute to NOT get married in
11.24.24 đ
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maxverstappen1 THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT
maxverstappen1 WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME??
maxverstappen1 everything aside, I'm very happy for you!
*liked by y/nferrari
maxverstappen1 BUT STOP TELLING EVERYONE THAT THIS WAS MY FAULT
charliesangles so we JUST found out that she had a boyfriend AND NOW SHE'S MARRIED????
vroomvroomgirl she drives fast for a living đ€·ââïž
world_of_y/n you're married, STOP IT WITH THE SOFT LAUNCH I WANNA SEE HIS FACE đč
charlie_leclerc very happy for you! glad my concert could help đ
y/nferrari hehehehehe đ€
f1fan24 so does the grid know who he is?
oscarpiastri yes and they're insufferable together đ€ą
y/nferrari HEY I don't say that stuff about you and lily đ€š
l/nstappen1633 aw man, I wanted her and max to end up together
maxverstappen1 she knows I'm too good for her anyway đ
y/nferrari AS IF - I WOULDN'T WANT TO KISS THOSE LIPS EVER
maxverstappen1 WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY LIPS?????
y/nferrari everything.
leclercs7thgrammy I wonder if she played any of charlie's music đ€
scuderiaferrari even though we weren't aware this would happen tonight, we are very proud of you y/n đ„°
y/nferrari I give my deepest apologies to the pr team - I love you all đ«¶
charliexy/n I want to be delusional so much đ
charliesquared the pictures are everything!
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by taylorswift, charliesquared, maxverstappen1, and 1,204,876 others
charlie_leclerc in preparation for the January concert, I have been working on my second classical album entitled Timeless! the songs that I have composed are tailored after the year of 2024. every emotion, feeling, and presence that I felt has been molded into my music.
these songs will be played for the first time at the Teatro Colon concert hall. once the performances are over, the songs will be out everywhere for everyone's enjoyment.
thank you for your unwavering suppoooorrrrrt đ
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leclercs8thgrammy so we win a grammy for "tears on my piano" and now we get another album? he is spoiling us
worldofpiano I'm getting tickets now, I cannot wait to hear the album in person
y/n.nation it's so weird to see y/n not in the likes or comments đ
vroomvroomgirl she got married and vanished đ«€
shedrivesincircles didn't even go on their annual skiing trip with her team. I know joris and Andrea missed her đ„ș
charliesangels there better be a vinyl so I can buy one for my record player
charlieputh congrats man! tour this year? đ
*liked by charlie_leclerc
charlie_leclerc I don't know mate, I wasn't the same after the tour đ
maxverstappen1 we all know why
*this comment has been deleted
verstopen33 MAX? WANNA SHARE WITH THE CLASS
the_lewink guys...is that a wedding ring in the first picture đ€š
l/nstappen3316 he just wears rings all the time, could be one of his normal ones??
charliexy/n pls let it NOT be a wedding ring. we lost y/n, I don't wanna lose charlie too đ
scuderiaferrari that's our musician! can't wait to add it to the playlist!
*liked by charlie_leclerc
asharpcharlie brb getting front row tickets asap
y/nworldchamp tell me why I thought he was about to announce that he and y/n got married since he said he kept a secret from us đ
charlie_leclerc has posted
liked by leclercferrari, charliesangels, noahkahanmusic, and 2,385,086 others
charlie_leclerc thank you to everyone who attended tonights concert. I know I shed tears earlier, but my gratitude still continues to over-pour from all the support.
timeless is now yours on all platforms đ€
dedicated to my one and only. mon coeur, je t'aime â€ïžđ
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asharpcharlie I cried during the entire thing. the music was so touching. we're so proud of you Charlie
charliesangels just listened to the first two songs and I'm already sobbing
charliesquared "when I'm with you" has my heart. no wonder it's the title song
noahkahanmusic mega job mate đ
*liked by charlie_leclerc
oscarpiastri I wasn't there in person, but I just know you blew the crowd away mate
*liked by charlie_leclerc
charliexy/n the lack of y/n is so concerning đ
world_of_y/n she was there tonight!
y/nworldchamp I can't even find her insta anymore? did she change her profile?
leclercs8thgrammy I can smell the 9th grammy cooking rn
taylorswift very proud of the artist you've become! might have to steal you away next year đ
charlieputh I think I already called dibs miss swift
hozier nah, he's been mine since 2021 đ
leclercferrari sorry, but I put a ring on it first đ
*liked by charlie_lelcerc
the_lewink Y/N????
vroomvroomgirl I know y/n has already added the entire album to her playlist
scuderiaferrari yes she has đ it's already playing at hq
charliesquared the devil works fast but y/n works faster
y/nsworld I NEED ANSWERS AS TO WHY Y/N CHANGED HER USER TO LECLERCFERRARI??
leclercferrari has posted
liked by maxverstappen1, charlieputh, y/n.nation, and 1,053,769 others
leclercferrari growing up, I always wished I could have learned the piano instead of karting every weekend. however, if my mother had listened to me, then I wouldn't have met the love of my life.
charlie, you never cease to amaze me my love. every thing you put your heart into blooms with success. thank you for entrusting your heart to me. I hope that I can love it as much as you love mine.
I will love you until your hands can no longer play your instrument, for then I can play our old songs until our hearts no longer beat.
my pride for you knows no limits. I love you â€ïž
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y/nsworld SO IT WAS CHARLES IN VEGAS???
leclercs8thgrammy oh my gosh I'm crying again đ
danielricciardo max is crying, thought you should know
maxverstappen1 DANIEL WHY?
oscarpiastri just let it happen man and join the club đ
maxverstappen1 fine đ
charlie_leclerc mon amour đ„ș i will play the piano for you until I can no longer breathe
*liked by leclercferrari
leclercferrari I love you so much. you can be my passenger princess until I can no longer breathe đ
charlie_lelcerc I think I will enjoy that đ
charliesangels so we can all agree that timeless is written about y/n
charliexy/n get someone who will make an entire album for you đ«
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Being a professional masseur for players and taking care of our boy art.
Hes just so sad and so pretty that you just giving head to make him feel better đ
Plot twist: he falls in love with you because duh? Hot+sex=you being promoted pookie, you are now the donaldsons elite employes!!!!!!
Baby, show me where it hurts...
pairing: art donaldson x fem!reader
summary: you never intended on becoming a "celebrity" massage therapist. you just wanted to be a massage therapist, the whole celebrity thing just sort of happened, you blame cali for that. but the novelty of your job wore off long ago, you hardly blink at the clients on your table nowadays. that is until tashi duncan calls you and absolutely fucks everything up
â or: art donaldson needs a massage therapistâŠ
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, oral (m!receiving), oral (fem!receiving), p in v, fingering (fem!receiving), angst? maybe? could this be considered angst?, slight age gap, no tashi duncan erasure because i don't stand for that, cheating but not really cause tashi knows, she always knows, she is an all seeing eye, and she kind of orchestrates it, SOOOOO much plot, like way too much i'm sorry, art being sad and tired, art also being kinda pathetic a little bit, unprofessional massages, no use of y/n.
word count: 10k+ (someone stop me....pls still read this lmao)
author's note: this ask was blessedly placed in my inbox and it was all iâve thought about since. this is my first big fic since my mike schmidt days so hopefully i'm not rusty! i've seen this damn cursed hell movie ten times, so hopefully i do it justice. i'm also still struggling sooo much with art and tashi as characters so please bear with me if they aren't movie accurate i'm trying my best. okay. thank you. hope you love it! mwah xoxo.
You don't get starstruck often, not anymore at least. The clients that find their way onto your table are just that in your eyes, clients. You don't see them as big time "celebritiesâ. Just men and women who need your professional help.
That being said, you almost dropped your phone the first time the Tashi Duncan called you.
It was a normal work day for you, spent buried in paperwork and training a new secretary. You're folding the steam room towels on your lunch break when your phone rings. No caller ID, you answer it anyways.
"Hello, you've reached Lush Retreat Med Spa," you rattle off into your phone, placing it between your ear and shoulder to continue folding. "How can we help you?"
"This is Tashi Duncan calling for Art Donaldson, we've heard great things about you and were hoping to schedule an appointment."
The towel drops from your hands, your mouth falling open in shock. You reach up to tightly grip your phone, not wanting to embarrass yourself by dropping your phone with Tashi fucking Duncan on the end of the line.
Of course you know who she is, but doesn't everyone? The tennis prodigy from Stanford who was on top of the world when a tragic knee injury stole everything from her in a single second. You absolutely idolized her when you were in high school and playing tennis competitively. You watched all the recorded matches you could get your hands on, wore your DUNCANATOR shirts to practice constantly, only bought the tennis rackets she used. You had her fucking posters plastered on the walls of your old bedroom for Christ's sake.
That was until you, ironically, shattered your wrist in a car accident and had to hang up the racket and pleated skirts forever. Just like her.
Now, Tashi Duncan and Art Donaldson are California royalty. An unfairly beautiful couple living what seems to be the dream. You'd never kept up much with Art's career like you did Tashi's, but you follow them both on Instagram and you see his face on billboards all over the city almost daily so you can assume it was fruitful. It may help him that he's extremely easy on the eyes, or "super fucking hot!" in your coworkers words.
"Hello?" Her voice ringing out from the tiny speaker ripped you out of your thoughts and back into reality.
"Y-yes, sorry," you cringe internally at yourself, stuttering over your words like a loser. You force yourself to sound professional when you speak again, "We'd love to help you any way we can. Do you have a certain time and date in mind already?"
"We're not home right now, we were thinking next Thursday. Around four." There's no question mark on the end of her sentence, you know that she isn't asking you, she's telling you. You don't even bother to check the schedule before you're answering.
"We will be free that day. I'll go ahead and put you in our system." you rush over to the front desk computer and open the calendar, thankfully you are actually free for Thursday. "I'm assuming you know our location?" you ask as you type in the appointment details, ignoring how your fingers shake ever so slightly as you type Tashi into the slot.
"Actually," Tashi's voice has a different tone to it when she speaks again, itâs something you canât quite place, your fingers slow down slightly as you listen, "we wanted to make this a home visit."
You stop typing completely, brows furrowed in confusion as you stare at your computer screen. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Donaldson but we don't do at home appointmentsâŠper our policy." you reply meekly, almost surprised that you're denying her.
"Duncan, actually,â she corrects you nonchalantly, you donât have time to unpack that before sheâs speaking again. âWe did read that on your website, but we'd hope you might make an exception. You wouldn't need to bring much. We have our own table." Her tone isn't harsh or impolite, just firm and certain, like she knows you'll give in to her.
You do.
"Well," you bite your lip as you wrestle internally with yourself, torn between what you want to do and what you should do. "Okay, we can do that for you."
"Great. I'll send you the address. See you then." She hangs up without saying goodbye.
You plant your phone next to you and stare at the filled out appointment slot taking up your computer screen, processing what just happened. You're going to Tashi Duncan's house. To give her hot pro-tennis player husband a massage. In their house.
"What the fuck."
SIX DAYS LATER...
The walk up to The Donaldson's huge mansion on a mountain has your stomach turning in on itself. All week you were a ball of nervous energy just floating around your office, trying to find anything to distract you from your upcoming appointment. Now that it's here, you feel you may have bitten off more than you could chew.
You hardly got any sleep last night, tossing and turning in your bed for hours before you gave up, barging into your building's gym to try and sweat your nerves out. When that didn't work you just retreated back to your apartment and got ready.
You try not to think about why it took you so long to get ready, longer than most work mornings. Taking more time in the shower, more time doing your hair, more time doing your makeup.
You even choose an outfit you'd hardly ever wear in front of regular clientele. A matching white polo set, a skirt in place of shorts. You tell yourself that you just want to look good, who wants to look like a mess in front of Tashi Duncan?
Your hands white-knuckle the steering wheel of your car on the drive over. You couldnât even play any music, the noise in your head already too loud as it was, only cranking up the AC and silently following the crisp voice of your GPS reading off the directions Tashi sent you.
The closer you get to the door the more you want to turn and run down the insanely long driveway, get back in your car and haul ass home without ever looking back.
You don't because you're a professional, or at least that's what you keep telling yourself.
Your hand shakes as you ring their doorbell, hearing it echo back at you from the inside. You only wait a few seconds before the large door swings open and there she is.
Tashi Duncan is every bit as beautiful in person as she is splashed across the pages of magazines and blown up twenty feet on billboards. She looks so effortlessly classy in her Ralph Lauren sweater and flowy black dress pants.
Your name falls from her lips, and all the blood rushes to your ears. Her silky voice wraps around each syllable with an enticing heat that makes you weak in the knees. You feel sixteen years old all over again, standing at the woman who basically molded you into who you are today. It's a dizzying sensation, the rush of nostalgia and emotions flooding in like an avalanche. The memories you have locked away in your brain of the countless late night practices, the hundreds of hours spent on the court, the trophies and ribbons littering your moms basement collecting dust, the refusal to give up and pushing your body past its own limits because you wanted to be just like her. You wanted to be Tashi Duncan, and when you catch yourself nervously rubbing your thumb over the scar spanning your right wrist, you guess in some sick twisted way that you kind of are.
"So glad you could make it," she greets breezily, stepping to the side to let you in. âWe were worried youâd get lost.â
The house is, of course, beautiful on the inside. Tall ceilings, big fireplace, a beautiful staircase leading to the second floor. Thereâs toys strewn messily along the living room floor, the TV mounted on the wall is paused on ESPN.
You hope you donât look as crazy as you feel taking in the space, taking in the fact that Tashi is standing right in front of you.Â
âNo, the directions were very helpful,â your voice only slightly wavers as you respond, you count that as a win, âitâs a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. DonaldsâuhâDuncan.â You cringe at your fumble, but try to power through by extending Tashi your hand.
She watches you for a second, sharp eyes flicking over your body quickly like sheâs inspecting you. It makes your cheeks feel warm as you struggle to not squirm underneath her gaze. Finally, she takes your hand in hers and gives it a firm shake. You ignore the way her touch makes your palm burn.
âArt should already be in the massage room, itâs in the pool house,â Tashi says, gesturing to the huge windows in the living room showing off a lavish underground pool with a smaller building situated next to it, âI have to take a phone call here in a few minutes so I trust youâll find your way there.â
You nod slowly, adjusting the strap of your supply bag on your shoulder. Tashi doesn't even pause walking further into the house as she speaks to you, heels clicking with each step as she makes her way to the large staircase in the middle of the room. Thereâs still no question marks tacked on to the end of her sentences, just like over the phone.Â
âItâs just through that door, first room on the left. I told him to leave the door open for you.â She continues, reaching the stairs and making her way up slowly. She tosses her head over her shoulder to make eye contact with you again. âHeâs been complaining about his shoulder acting up. The right one, itâs what needs the most attention. He serves with that arm, we need it at a hundred.â she fires off casually, like sheâs recited this information before.
You go to speak but her phone ringing cuts you off, echoing off the house's crisp white walls. âThank you for coming to see us, it was nice meeting you.â Tashi says politely, giving you one final once over before sheâs answering her phone and disappearing up the stairs.
âIt was nice meeting you tooâŠâ you trail off quietly, fully caught off guard by whatever the hell that was. Out of every single time youâd fantasized about what meeting Tashi Duncan would be like, none of them were quite like this. At least itâs over you figure, and you even managed to not make a complete fool of yourself.
You hold onto that tiny win as you walk through the living room doors and outside, making your way to the pool house like Tashi instructed. The entrance is unlocked as you step inside, thankfully you spot the cracked door a little ways in front of you.Â
The sound of your footsteps are loud as you make your way down the short hallway, tennis shoes making small thump sounds against the concrete floor. You pause for just a second outside the cracked door, taking a deep breath before pushing it open and stepping inside. The room is empty, the only things inside are some shelves lined with various essential oils and lotions, and an expensive looking massage table in the center. You muse over the fact that their table looks a little better than the ones in your own spa, no wonder they wanted a home visit.
The room is well lit as you walk around, dim in a way that promotes relaxation. The soft, ambient lighting bathes the room in a gentle, golden glow, complemented by the flicker of aromatic candles placed strategically around the space. You wonder who lit them, Tashi? Or maybe Art? You let out a small laugh at the idea of Tashi Duncan and Art Donaldson fawning over the room before you showed up, setting up candles and mood lighting to make it feel nicer, less clinical.
Youâre probably just reading too much into it. You always urge clients to ask for anything that will make them feel more comfortable, apparently Art just likes eucalyptus sage candles and mood lighting. It has nothing to do with you.Â
Your name being said from somewhere behind you rips you out of your own mind. You whirl around, and find yourself face to face with six time Grand Slam Champion, Tashi Duncanâs super hot husband, Art Donaldson. And heâs only wearing a fucking towel.
âHello,â he greets with a kind smile, though it doesnât quite reach his eyes, âitâs nice to finally meet you, thank you so much for taking the time to come out here.âÂ
Art is already worlds different from Tashi, or thatâs what youâre inferring after spending less than five minutes with each of them. Itâs still extremely apparent, Tashi has an almost overpowering presence to her, everything about her commands respect and she knows that. She uses that to her advantage, she likes it like that.
The man standing in front of you is nothing like that. The Art Donaldson in front of you doesnât seem like some big shot tennis player with more impressive stats than you could wrap your head around. Youâve come to know that a few pro-sports guys like to swing their dicks around, bragging about their booming careers non-stop during a session. Yet everything about Art is unassuming as he stands in the doorway like heâs trying to make himself look smaller.Â
âHi, Mr. Donaldson,â youâre not sure if it's appropriate to offer a man wearing a towel dangerously low on his hips your hand, you decide against it. âItâs no trouble really, Iâm happy to help.â
âPlease, call me Art.â The tone of his voice makes you want to shiver, smooth and warm like honey.Â
You try your best not to stare, but itâs so hard to ignore the toned expanse of Artâs body when itâs right there. Heâs all broad shoulders, firm pecs, sculpted legs, with a cut Adonis belt. Heâs like a marble statue, made in Michelangelo's perfect image.
Your eyes trail back up his body, lingering on his chest before rising up to his face. Youâre mortified to see heâs staring right back at you, effectively catching you in the act. Your cheeks burn as you tear your gaze away, looking at anything and everything other than him. In your panic, you donât notice the way his eyes rake over you in the same way.
âOkay, Art,â you say a little breathlessly, tightening your grip on the strap of your bag. âItâs nice to meet you. Mrs. Duncan let me know about your major problem areas, Iâll be sure to focus on them.â Involuntarily bringing up Tashi has your stomach clenching up in guilt, you just got done ogling her husband's body. You hope he takes the silent cue you're giving him to get on the damn table so you can start the massage and get the hell out of here.
Art nods silently, walking over to the table and moving to lie down on his stomach. You busy yourself with prepping your oils, taking them out of your bag and setting them on a small side table next to the massage bed uncapped for easy access. You canât help but sneak glances at the rippling muscle of Artâs back as he shifts, his skin looks soft and is littered with freckles. You donât miss the hiss he lets out when he lays his weight on his shoulder.
You usually donât speak much during appointments, only engaging in conversation when your client initiates it, but you feel the need to fill the silence between you and Art. The quiet atmosphere makes everything seem far too intimate, and sure on some level it always is, but this feels different.
âHowâd you hurt it? Your shoulder. If you donât mind me asking.â you ask once heâs settled, placing your fingertips to the middle of his right shoulder, feeling around for any tension. Art tenses slightly at your touch, taking a sharp breath. You guess you should have warned him, you open your mouth to apologize but he lets out a small breath and relaxes onto the table again.
Art sighs, his voice tinged with weariness. "It was, uh, during a match. I overextended trying to return a serve. Haven't been able to move it properly since."
You nod, hands starting to move in slow, deliberate circles across the muscle. âThat sounds about right. Most people donât realize how brutal tennis is to the body, injuries are common,â you pointedly try to ignore the flashbacks of your wrist failing to swing a racket properly after you healed from your accident, flashbacks of watching as the bone pierced through your skin. âSounds like you might need to take it easy for a while.â you continue, trying to keep the conversation light.
Art chuckled, though it was devoid of real humor. "Yeah, Iâve been playing a lot lately. Guess I pushed myself too hard." He winces slightly as you work on a particularly tight knot, shoulder tensing under your hands.Â
You pause, your hands stilling momentarily as you catch the underlying tension in Art's voice. "The seasonâs almost over, maybe it's time to give yourself a break, take some time to rest and recuperate." you remark softly, your tone gentle yet concerned.
Art's gaze flickers to yours, a flicker of vulnerability shining through. "I wish I could," he admits, his voice heavy, "But it's hard to step away, especially when it feels like it's all I have thatâs still keeping everything together."
Your heart clenches at the raw honesty in his words. Heâs completely silent afterwards, you wonder if heâs regretting telling you something like that, like maybe it just fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. Without a word, you continue to knead away the tension in his muscles, offering a silent gesture of support.
As you continue to work, hands skillfully moving over Artâs shoulder, you canât help but notice the weariness in Art's demeanor. His presence feels heavy, almost broken, as if the physical pain was just a small part of what he was carrying. You feel a pang of sympathy for him. You can feel the weight of struggles pressing down on him, the way his shoulders sag slightly even under your careful touch.
âI can feel the tension here," you say gently, applying a little more pressure, "Just try to relax.âÂ
With each knead and press, you remind yourself of your role. Youâre here to help him heal, and that was all that mattered. But as your hands move over his warm skin, you canât shake the feeling that this wasnât what you had anticipated, something that made your heart race with both excitement and anxiety. You were so worried about meeting Tashi you completely forgot about Art. Itâs a different story now as your hands explore the smooth planes of his back to the steady sound of his breathing.
"You're really good at this," Art says after a while, his voice a bit lighter.Â
You smile, a genuine one, the first real smile youâve had since you got here. âThanks. Iâd hope so after all this time.â
Art lets out a small chuckle muffled by the table, it makes your stomach flutter. âHow did you get into this? Massage therapy seems interesting.â
You laugh but itâs a bitter sound, moving your hands down to focus lower on Artâs shoulder. You try not to think about your tennis career, even after all this time you struggle with the memories despite all the good it brought you. âThatâs a long story.â you mutter under your breath, even to your own ears you sound resentful.
âIâve got time.â Itâs a simple reply, but itâs so honest. Like Artâs genuinely interested in you, in getting to know you. It makes you feel dizzy.
âI, um,â you worry your lip between your teeth, working your hands harder over Artâs back. âI actually used to play tennis. When I was in high school.â
Art makes an interested noise, shifting under your hands as he moves his head to lay on the side of the table so he could look up at you. âNo shit?â he looks more shocked than anything.Â
You nod, humming in confirmation as you finally move onto his other shoulder. âYup, I was pretty serious about it back then, until I got injured.â You donât meet Artâs gaze, but you can see how his face falls in your peripheral vision. You kind of want to laugh at how ironic this moment is, you wonder if Artâs thinking about Tashiâs knee. You know he was at the match, youâve seen the blurry footage of Tashi Duncanâs fall from grace, watched Art vault over the net to get to her.
âThatâs awful. Iâm sorry.â He sounds like he means it.
âItâs okay, wasn't like it was my fault or anything,â you say, finally meeting his eyes with a rueful smile and raising your right wrist to show him your scar. âI got hit by a drunk driver coming home late from practice one night. Nasty fracture, bone went straight through.â You hope your voice is coming out as nonchalant as youâre trying to make it sound.
Art's eyes widen in disbelief as he takes in your scar, a mixture of shock and sympathy evident on his face. "Wow, that's...terrible," he murmurs, his voice tinged with compassion.
You shrug, the memories still vivid despite the passage of time. "It was tough, it was awful actually. All the physical therapy in the world couldnât get a racket back in my hand,â you confess softly, fingers tracing the outline of the scar absentmindedly again. âBut it also forced me to reevaluate things, in a way. It made me realize that life doesn't always go according to plan.â You see Tashiâs knee buckling in your mind's eye. âWhen I finally realized that I could take all the hate and all the anger I was feeling and channel it into something good, something like massage therapy, I never looked back."
You immediately regret over-sharing, feeling silly telling Art your sob story, but when you meet his eye again, he has an odd look on his face. His expression is soft as he looks up at you through long lashes, understanding and empathy swimming in the blue of his eyes.
"Well, silver linings, huh?" he says after a few seconds, thereâs traces of a smile playing on his lips. You let out a small laugh, nodding your head slightly.
"Yeah," you agree, a small smile on your lips. "Silver linings."Â
As the conversation fades into a comfortable silence, you and Art find yourselves locked in a silent exchange, your eyes meeting and holding a depth of something you canât quite pick up on. In that moment, the world around you seems to blur, leaving only the two of you suspended in a shared moment of vulnerability. There's a subtle shift in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that has formed between you, as if you've uncovered a piece of each other.
The shrill ringing of your phoneâs alarm pierces through the moment, both you and Art jump at the sudden sound. Itâs like a cold bucket of water pouring over your head, washing away whatever just happened between the two of you. The sessionâs over, youâre done.Â
âOkay,â you say a little too loudly, taking your hands off Art's back like his skin could burn you any second. âLooks like weâre all done.â You try to smile but it feels fake, forced, so you turn your back to Art and start capping your oils to shove them back in your bag.
Artâs voice breaks the silence as you pack up, sounding a little less confident than it did earlier. âUh, my neck has been bothering me too, recently,â he says offhandedly as he sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the table. âI think I may have slept on it wrong.â
You stop what youâre doing, turning to face Art again, silently cursing him for not just letting you leave. âDo you want me to take a look before I go?â You pray he says no. You should know it wonât be that easy, not with your shit luck.
âIf you donât mind?â His tone is so hopeful and his eyes are so big that your feet are walking towards him before your mind can catch up.Â
âNot at all,â you reply, your voice steady despite the tightness in your chest. You step closer, practically between his slightly spread legs, feeling the warmth of his skin even before you touch him. Your fingers brush against his neck, and he shivers slightly, the muscles tight and knotted beneath your touch.
"Just relax," you murmur, trying to maintain any shred of professional demeanor. As you work, you can't help but notice the way his breath hitches, the tension in his body melting away under your skilled hands. The room feels smaller, the air heavier with each passing second.
He closes his eyes, a soft sigh escaping his lips. "That feels amazing," he whispers, and you swallow hard, trying to focus solely on the task at hand. As you work, the intimacy of the moment isn't lost on you, and you can't help but wonder if he feels it too.
Minutes tick by like hours as you work the tense muscle of Artâs neck. You're acutely aware of every sigh, every shift in his body, every subtle reaction to your touch. You finally pull away when you think itâs been enough time, eager to get out of this damn house before you do something youâll regret.
You didnât notice how close you really were to Art until you pulled back only to be met with his face mere inches away from yours. Startled by the sudden proximity, you freeze, caught off guard by the intensity of Art's gaze. His eyes, dark and searching, seem to hold a silent question, a silent invitation.
Now, Artâs body is one thing, itâs objectively perfect. Heâs a professional athlete, of course itâs perfect. It has to be perfect. Itâs his damn face that gets you.
Heâs beautiful, beyond beautiful. He looks like he should be splayed across canvas hanging in the Louvre. The dim lighting in the room illuminates his face beautifully, his golden hair haloing around his head makes him look ethereal. Each of his features look as if they were handcrafted by a master sculptor, each contour and line a testament to perfection. His chiseled jawline speaks of strength and determination, while his lips, soft and inviting, seem to beckon you closer with every breath. His eyes are deep pools of ocean blue, though this close you can see a small splash of brown in his left eye you didnât notice before, swirling with emotions that stir something deep within you.Â
Something more shocking than Artâs beauty, is how fucking tired he looks. Lines of exhaustion are etched along his face, subtle but undeniable. The weariness in his eyes speaks volumes, a silent plea for respite from the relentless demands of tennis. And yet, even amidst the exhaustion, there's a flicker of longing. Heâs staring at you like he needs you, eyes wide and yearning. His chest rising and failing a little more harshly than it did before, each exhale coming out ragged and sharp.
âArtâŠâ you whisper, heart threatening to beat out of your chest. Heâs so warm, the heat emitting off of him makes you want to lean into it. You want to crawl on top of his powerful thighs and bury your face in his chest and never leave. Your hands flex where theyâre draped over Artâs neck.
It happens in slow motion, Artâs hand trails up the skin of your thigh as your name falls from his lips like a prayer, and itâs like youâve been electrocuted. Youâre rearing back with a sharp breath, dropping your hands from his neck and taking a couple steps back.Â
âIt was really nice to- uh to meet you, Art.â you say frantically, swinging your bag firmly over your shoulder and rushing to the door. Artâs still sitting on the table, silently watching you panic. He doesnât try to stop you. âI hope your shoulder feels better,â is all you say before bursting out the door and speed walking out of the pool house.Â
Your heart's racing as you walk through the backyard, hands shaking even through the death grip you have on the strap of your bag. What the hell was that? What the hell was that? Did Art Donaldson just make a pass at you? You must be imagining things.Â
The thought rattles around in your mind, refusing to be dismissed. His words, his toneâthey seemed to linger in the air, haunting you with their implications. The way he touched you, like he couldnât help himself. But no, it couldn't be. He was married to Tashi, and besides, he was just being polite, right? You try to convince yourself of that as you make your way back to the house.
As you walk inside, still slightly shaken up, Tashiâs the first thing you see. Sheâs sitting in the living room, laptop open on the coffee table in front of her.Â
âHey,â she says, sitting up straighter on the coach, âhow was it?â
You swallow, urging yourself to calm down. âIt was great, he should be seeing some improvement over the next few days.â
Tashi nods her head, seemingly pleased though it doesnât show on her face. âCould this be a weekly thing, these appointments. He could really use them.âÂ
No question marks. Motherfucker.
You flounder, stomach dropping. âWeekly? As in every Thursday?â
Tashiâs brow raises, eyes looking over you inquisitively. âYes, preferably all home visits.âShe stands from the couch, taking a couple steps towards you. âWe read on your website you take permanent clients, is that not the case anymore.â
You shake your head, eyes wide as they follow her while she walks. âN-no, Mrs. Duncan we do. We could pencil you in if youâre willing to pay monthly for the time slot. Would you like to talk to some of my other employees to work out a rotating schedule?â
Tashi stops a few feet away from you, hands in her pockets. âActually, we were hoping youâd be the one coming down. The only one.â You blink, her words slam over you like a ton of bricks. Just you, in a room with a half-naked Art. Every single Thursday. That canât happen, not after what just went down between the two of you.
You can practically hear the warning bells blaring in your mind, urging you to refuse, to put an end to this before it spirals out of control. Yet, there's another voice, quieter but no less insistent, whispering seductive promises of what could be if you were to stay.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you grapple with the conflicting desires warring within you. Tashi's expectant gaze weighs heavily on you, waiting for your response, and you know that whatever decision you make will irrevocably alter the course of things between you and Art. With a shaky breath, you steel yourself, the weight of your choice settling like a stone in your stomach.
"I...I'll do it," you finally say, the words leaving your lips before you can stop them. "I'll make sure to pencil you in for weekly sessions, Mrs. Duncan."
Tashi's lips curve up slightly, satisfied, but beneath the surface you can sense the tension thrumming through the air. You've made your choice, for better or for worse, and now you can only hope that it won't lead to the downfall of everything you've worked so hard to build.
âWonderful,â she says, gesturing for you to follow her to the front door. You trail behind her like a loyal pet, silently allowing her to drag you wherever she pleases. âThank you again for coming out, and please,â she pauses with her hand on the doorknob, turning to meet your eye, âcall me Tashi.â
"Thank you, Tashi," you murmur softly, the weight of her name feeling foreign on your tongue when youâre actually saying it to her for the first time. "I'll make sure to arrange everything at the office."
Tashi's smile widens, though there's a glint of something unreadable in her eyes. "I look forward to seeing you, then," she says, her tone laced with a hint of anticipation. "And please, if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to reach out."
With a final nod, Tashi opens the front door, the outside world beckoning beyond its threshold. You take a hesitant step forward, the weight of your decision pressing down on your shoulders like a heavy burden. As you step out into the cool evening air, you can't shake the feeling that you've just crossed a line from which there may be no turning back. But for now, all you can do is steel your nerves and hope that you haven't made a huge mistake.
A LITTLE MORE THAN SIX DAYS LATERâŠ
Your sessions with Art continue on. The guilt settling deep in your stomach each time you set foot in the Donaldson/Duncan house also continues. It worsens each time the two of you are alone in that damned massage room. Technically youâve done nothing wrong, but you know deep in the back of your mind that what youâre doing isnât normal. Each meeting is a strange mixture of tension and familiarity. When you arrive, Tashi always greets you warmly, her trust in you unwavering. It feels like a dagger each time, twisting deeper and deeper into your conscience.Â
Neither of you talk about it, what happened during your session, and Art doesnât treat you any differently. He still goes out of his way to make polite conversation, asking you about your life, about your business, he even brings up old anecdotes you told him offhandedly. He doesnât talk about tennis, and he has to know you can keep up in conversation with it since you told him about your history with it, you just assume he doesnât want to.Â
That makes sense, you always think back to the first time he met you. How he brushed off any conversation about his career, how his demeanor changed when he spoke about it. How drained he looked. There was a sadness in his eyes, a weight he carried that seemed to go beyond just a few standard aches and pains. You remember how it struck you then, and it strikes you still, each time you see him.
His shoulder is getting better, you can tell. He can lay on it, or raise it above his head, without wincing. That makes your heart swell, knowing that despite how weird and kind of fucked up everything is, heâs healing.Â
The familiar sound of your timer ringing pulls you out of your thoughts. Youâre shocked at how fast this appointment flew by, but you could tell as soon as you walked into the massage room to find Art already sitting on the table waiting for you, that something about this session feels different. Itâs silly to call it âsensing a bad vibeâ, but thatâs exactly what you felt entering the room's threshold.Â
Art didnât speak much as you worked, just laying on the table silently after saying hello and asking you about your week. The silence is definitely odd, Artâs not a chatterbox by any means, but he usually keeps some form of conversation flowing. After a while, you start to think it might be something you did, like maybe heâs mad at you. It sounds so stupid in your head, like youâre some poor high school girl getting hung up over a fucking guy giving you the silent treatment.
The only thing more stupid than that is how much itâs actually affecting you. Art has you over analyzing everything youâve said or done over the last couple visits, you dread that maybe he just came to his senses after all this time. That he finally snapped out of whatever trance he was in and remembered he has a beautiful wife, and that he doesnât really want you.
âAlright,â you say softly, stepping away from the table, âAll done.â As you turn off the timer and gather your thoughts, you can't shake the feeling that something is off. You force yourself to bury it, Art doesnât owe you an explanation, he doesnât owe you anything. You arenât his.
You glance over at him as he slowly sits up, his expression unreadable. "Thank you," he murmurs, his voice barely audible. You offer a small smile in return, trying to squash all the ugly feelings mixing in your stomach. You turn to busy yourself with packing up, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu.
Artâs voice cuts through the silence, sounding weary. âAre we still pretending it didnât happen?â
It catches you off guard, making you drop the bottle in your hands back onto the table loudly. Your heart races as you turn back to face him, unsure of how to respond. The weight of his words hangs heavy in the air, demanding a response youâre not sure youâre ready to give.
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. âI...I donât know,â you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. âI guess I was hoping we could justâŠforget about it.â
Artâs eyes search yours, filled with a mixture of longing and uncertainty. âI donât think I can,â he confesses, his voice tinged with sadness.
The same feelings from that day rush back in your mind, flooding all your senses. It's as if time folds in on itself, bringing you right back to that moment where everything changed. You feel panic clawing its way up your body, fight or flight response waging a war inside of you.
You chose flight, shoving the last bottle in your bag and making a break for the door. Ready to run just like you did back then, run and come back next week with your tail between your legs desperately trying to forget that this ever happened, again. Artâs voice stops you just as you have your hand on the doorknob.
âPleaseâŠâ he whispers, he sounds so broken, so vulnerable. âPlease, donât run.â
You donât know what it is, maybe itâs the way heâs looking at you, or the repressed feelings, or your shitty back bone, but whatever it is makes you pause, hand falling off the doorknob to lay limp at your side. You turn back to face him, the raw need in his eyes mirrored by your own emotions. It tugs at your heart, making it impossible to leave. You feel a surge of guilt and hesitation, but the longing in his gaze holds you captive. Slowly, you make your way towards him, taking small slow steps like you could still leave at any minute, but you know you wonât.
You walk until youâre crowding him, standing between his spread legs just like you did all those sessions ago. His eyes are wide, almost disbelieving, like he thought youâd turn around and slam the door on him instead. Which is what you should do, you should walk out that door right now and never step foot in their house again.Â
Art whispers your name, his voice a soft caress that sends sparks zapping down your spine. You're close enough to feel his breath fanning over your face, warm and intimate. You inhale, like youâre trying to absorb his words, his essence, his everything.Â
His hand takes yours, bringing it up to his chest. He presses it firmly against his pec, right on top of his heart. You can feel the rapid, uneven thumping beneath your palm. His thumb caresses your wrist gently, making goosebumps pebble over your skin.
Itâs easy to get lost in Artâs eyes, so youâre shocked to notice something that very quickly grabs your attention. Artâs towel is tented obscenely, hard cock straining against the thick material. You swallow roughly at the sight, feeling the need to touch, to take, to help.
Your knees hit the floor before you fully realize the entire gravity of what youâre doing. You donât care about any of that anyway, not right now.Â
Right now Art Donaldson is swiping his thumb across the scar on your wrist with his big sparkly eyes desperately looking into yours, unashamedly begging for you to touch him.Â
Who are you to deny him?
Your hands find the knot of his towel and yank it roughly, ripping it off Art's hips and tossing it aside. His hard cock springs out, slapping up against his stomach enticingly. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, pleased to see heâs perfect all over.Â
Artâs cock is long, and thick. Heâs big, but in an exciting way, not in an intimidating way. Heâs already steadily drooling pre-cum from his soft pink tip, already so hard and you havenât even touched him yet. You reach up, tracing your finger along the length of him lightly. Art inhales, his eyes fluttering closed as you touch him for the first time. The anticipation in the room is palpable, a heady mix of desire and need that seems to swirl around you both.
You circle your hand around the base of his cock, stroking up and up until your hand bumps into the head, where you start to rub your thumb back and forth gently, spreading the wetness from his pre-cum before sliding your hand back down. Slowly, you lean in, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his cock before taking him into your mouth, savoring the taste of him as he groans deeply, hands gripping the massage table tightly.
âShit,â he grits out, casting his gaze to the ceiling, chest already heaving raggedly.Â
You slide the warmth of your mouth down the shaft of his cock, moaning at the heady taste of him, skin soft and velvety on your tongue.Â
âFuck, your mouthâŠâ Art whispers above you, his words trailing off into a string of breathy moans. You hum in response, working his cock faster to draw out more of those noises. Hollowing your cheeks, you sink down towards the circle of your fist still holding the base of his cock with wet, slippery slurping sounds. Artâs hand lets go of the table, coming up to cup your cheek in a move way too intimate for what the two of you are doing.
You chance a look up, and your heart skips several beats at what you see. Artâs already staring down at you, his face twisted up in pleasure. His pale cheeks are flushed, brows drawn together tightly, plush bottom lip caught between his teeth. All that is enough to make you feel ten feet tall, but thatâs not what makes you pause.
Itâs his eyes, the way Artâs looking at you.
The look in his eyes isâŠworshipful. Reverent. Like youâre a celestial being, a divine grace walking among mortals. Not some girl on her knees for a married man in his houseâs private fucking massage room.
Yet the longer you hold his gaze, while still working your mouth over his hard cock, you feel something strange stirring inside you. Artâs eyes holding such a longing reverence so intense, it was starting to elevate you to a pedestal of adoration. Of devotion.
Right now Artâs like the sun, burning so brightly you feel you need to look away before he consumes you, but you donât.
âPlease,â Art begs desperately, voice so soft you barely even hear it. Thereâs tears welling in his eyes, his red rimmed and so so tired looking eyes. It breaks your heart, how could such a wonderful man be reduced to this?
You pull off Artâs cock, hand still pumping firmly over him. He whines at the loss of your mouth, hips bucking up to chase after the warm heat. His tip bumps over your lips as he moves, trailing a thin line of pre-cum across them.
Without breaking eye contact, you speak.
âYouâre so good, Art.âÂ
Itâs those four words whispered against the tip of Art's leaking cock that has him coming with a hitched breath and a soft cry. A few bursts of his warm come land over your parted lips before you take the head of his cock back in your mouth to greedily swallow down the rest.Â
"Thank you, fuck, thank you...!" Art grates out as his body trembles above you, hand squeezing yours so hard it borders on painful. You know youâre never coming back from this, but you still squeeze back as hard as you can all the same.
A LITTLE MORE THAN SIX DAYS LATERâŠ
Maybe this is just your life now, fucking the husband of the woman you worshiped like a God for years on end. Itâs like you canât stop, like youâre an addict or something. No matter how disgusting and shameful you feel every time you get home from Artâs appointments, you canât help but give into him. Itâs a twisted dance, a cycle of pleasure and regret that you canât seem to break. One look into his sad, kicked puppy eyes and you crack. Youâve convinced yourself it's just you reveling in the feeling of being truly wanted for the first time. But deep down, you know itâs more than that. Itâs the way he makes you feel alive, the way he looks at you like youâre the only thing that matters in his world.
Art wants you. He needs you. Heâs made that more than clear every single visit since you dropped down on your knees for him. The guilt gnaws at you, a constant reminder that you can't escape. Yet, every time you see him, every time he reaches out to you with that desperate need in his eyes, you find yourself powerless to resist.Â
Youâve never kissed, not on the lips. Artâs certainly tried, lips seeking yours out as your oiled up fist slips up and down his cock, as you sit on his lap and grind against him until heâs dirtying his towel. You just turn your head every time, letting him trail kisses along your jaw and neck instead somehow feels less real. Kissing Art will make it feel real, you know it will. So you donât.
Funnily enough, you think things are going well. Maybe even as well as getting a married man off every Thursday can go. You can see a change in Art, in his behavior and the way he holds himself. He smiles more, he laughs more, itâs like heâs giving more of himself to you each time you meet with him. Itâs exhilarating, the way your presence has this effect on him, almost as if youâre breathing new life into him.
Artâs newfound lightness is infectious. You find yourself looking forward to Thursdays with an anticipation that borders on impatience. The way he looks at you, the tender touches that linger just a bit longer, the conversations that flow more freelyâit all feels like a dream youâre afraid to wake up from.Â
You should have known it was too good to be true, that this little world you created in your head was just the calm before the storm.
Everything about this session was normal to start. Itâs a little less intense since Artâs shoulder is doing better, now you have free reign over the rest of his body. Greedy hands free to glide over the planes and planes of muscle youâve become familiar with.
As you work on his lower back, your hands moving in practiced, soothing motions, you notice a subtle rigidity in his muscles. âEverything alright?â you ask, keeping your tone light.
Art hesitates before answering. âYeah, justâŠa lot on my mind.â
You frown, âDo you want to talk about it?â
Art stays quiet, still laying silently on the table face down. You stare at the back of his head, like if you stare hard enough youâll be able to tell what heâs thinking. Taking his silence as not wanting to talk, you continue on. You donât want to pressure him to confide with you, not when he already has a wife for that.
As your hands continue to move over Art's tense shoulders, he lets out a deep sigh, breaking the silence. "I need you,â he whispers softly, his voice filled with an unexpected vulnerability. He shifts on the table, leaning up to look you in the eye; his own eyes are watery, lashes clumped together with unshed tears. âIt's not just the massages. I need you in my life, no more of this half-assed bullshit. I need all of you.â
You feel your whole world turn upside down in a single second, the distinct feeling of your heart lurching out of your chest and your stomach dropping to your feet. Itâs like the walls of the room start moving in on you, caging you in. It makes your chest feel tight, breath coming out in short jagged rasps. Panic grips you, and you violently rip your hands off Artâs body, stumbling back from the massage table.
 "I-I'm sorry, I can't," you stammer, voice choked with emotion, as you turn to flee from the room, not even bothering to grab your stuff. But before you could escape, Art was right behind you, reaching out to catch your wrist, his grip gentle yet firm. "Please don't go, please," he begs, his eyes pleading with you to stay and talk. You wrench your hand free and run out of the room.Â
You think you hear Art calling out your name through all the static rushing through your ears, but youâre not sure, and you donât look back to check. Your feet pound against the tile as you run out of the pool house feeling like youâre about to throw up, or pass out. Artâs confession is the only thing running through your mind. The only thing thatâs still clear through your dizzying panic.
You finally start to breathe again when you burst into the house, leaning back against the cool glass of the door to try and relax before you start to spiral. The silence inside is almost oppressive, the only sound the rapid thudding of your heart in your ears. You close your eyes, willing yourself to calm down, to find some semblance of control.
Your name being said grabs your attention, and you open your eyes to find Tashi at the top of the stairs.
âIs everything okay? I heard the door slam.â Her expression is a mix of concern and confusion as she takes a few steps down. You push yourself off the door, you need to leave as soon as possible, before Tashi can reach you and coerce you into staying.Â
âEverything's fine!â Your voice sounds shaky despite your best efforts to calm yourself, youâre basically speed walking to the door. âI just, I got a phone call, and I need to leave. Right now. Iâm so sorry.â
You donât even wait for her to reply before youâre yanking the door open and rushing outside. You hope to God that she doesnât follow you outside. She doesnât.
You walk, arms wrapped around yourself tightly in a feeble attempt to stop shaking. There are tears burning your eyes and making everything in front of you blurry. The wind whips your hair around your face, stinging your cheeks as you walk further away from the house.
Each step feels heavier, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you try to make sense of the storm inside you. The chaotic weather seems to mock your turmoil, perfectly matching the chaos you feel. You struggle to piece together what just happened, the intensity of Artâs words echoing in your mind.
âI need you.â
His voice had been so raw, so vulnerable, and it scared you. You werenât ready for that kind of emotion, that kind of responsibility, that kind of guilt. The weight of it had sent you running, and now youâre left grappling with the aftermath.
Fuck.
A LITTLE MORE THAN SIX HOURS LATERâŠ
The drive home was a blur. Rain and wind beating against the windshield nearly the whole time. Youâd laugh at how ironic it was, like Godâs punishing you with shitty weather, but youâre too busy fighting tears to find the humor in it.Â
The dread didnât set in until you got home, stumbling through the front door on shaky legs until you reached your kitchen where you promptly emptied everything in your stomach into your trash. After you force yourself into the shower to wash the rain, and guilt, off of your skin. You scrub yourself raw, skin pink and sensitive to the touch, like that will somehow erase all that youâve done.
When you finally step out, the bathroom mirror is fogged, a ghostly reflection staring back at you through the mist. You avoid its gaze, wrapping yourself in a towel and padding through your room to collapse onto your bed. The silence of the house presses in on you, letting your thoughts consume you.Â
Artâs words play on a loop inside your head, the look on his face burned to the forefront of your mind. The weight of his confession hung heavy in the air, rocking you with its intensity. Running away had seemed like the only option at the time, a knee-jerk reaction to the overwhelming flood of emotions threatening to engulf you.Â
You know you didnât run from Art because you donât want him, you ran because thereâs nothing you want more. In the aftermath, running felt less like a choice and more like an instinctual response to the storm of emotions threatening to consume you whole since the first day you met him. Every step away from Art was a battle against the gravitational pull of your desires, a struggle against the overwhelming urge to surrender to what you both shared.
The truth is crystal clear: you didn't run from Art because you're devoid of feelings for him. You ran precisely because your heart beats in synchrony with his, because the depth of your longing for him is as boundless as the universe itself.Â
Your phone pings from the dresser, you ignore it. A second later, it pings again, and again, and again. You furrow your brows, glaring at your nightstand until you reach over and pick up your phone. Itâs an unknown number, but you know who it is.
UNKNOWN NUMBER
I need to see you.Â
Please, I can send a car.
It's Art.
Tashi isnât home tonight.
Maybe youâre the worst person in the world, but all the fight leaves your body the second you read Artâs texts. You need to see him as much as he needs to see you. Your fingers type out a response before you can think twice.
Art
okay.
You send him your address, jumping out of bed to throw on the first things you see. A black SUV was waiting for you as soon as you got downstairs, just as promised. You climbed in after getting confirmation from the driver, and sat in the backseat quietly as you went down the familiar streets.Â
As the house comes into view, you can see the front doorâs light is still on, waiting for you. You barely wait for the car to stop before youâre opening the car door and stepping outside. The rain immediately drenches you, seeping through your thin sleep clothes. You take two steps before the front door swings open and Art comes rushing out into the rain. Heâs only wearing sleep pants, his bare feet smack wetly on the concrete as he runs to you.
Art stops short of you, hesitating, like he doesnât know whether to touch you or not. You want him to touch you so bad youâre scared it might kill you. The air between you feels charged, every drop of rain a tiny spark. Finally, Art reaches out, his hand trembling as he brushes a soaked strand of hair from your face. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you step closer, collapsing into his arms. The rain continues to fall around you, but at this moment, itâs just the two of you.
"Art," you breathe, your voice trembling. "What are we doing?"
He gazes into your eyes, the raw emotion in his expression mirroring your own. "I don't know," he admits, his hands gently sliding down to your shoulders. "But I can't let you go. Not now." His words hang between you, a fragile thread of honesty that binds you together. You can feel the weight of his words, the sincerity in his voice, and it tugs at your heartstrings.
Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as his words sink in. The honesty in his gaze, the desperation in his touchâit all overwhelms you, leaving you breathless. The only thing you can think of, the only thing that feels right, is kissing him. So you do.
You lean closer, your heart pounding in your chest, and gently cup his face in your hands. His eyes widen for a moment, a flicker of surprise mingling with the intensity of his emotions. Then, as if drawn together by an invisible force, your lips meet his.
The kiss is soft at first, tentative and sweet, a question and an answer all at once. His lips are cold and slightly trembling, matching the fluttering in your chest. You can taste the salt of your tears mingling with the sweetness of the moment. Time seems to stand still as you lose yourself in the sensation of his mouth on yours.Â
Gradually, the kiss deepens, becoming more urgent and fervent, a silent expression of everything words canât convey. Artâs arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, his fingers threading through your hair. The heat between you intensifies, both your breath coming faster, mingling as the kiss grows hungrier.
Artâs heartbeat echoes against your chest, you can feel his grip on you getting tighter like he's scared of letting you go. Your hands slide down to his shoulders, your fingers digging into his muscles as you press closer, your bodies molding together. His tongue flicks against your lips, seeking entrance, and you part them eagerly, welcoming him in. The taste of him is intoxicating, a mix of desperation and passion that makes your head spin. A soft moan escapes your lips, and he responds with a low growl, his hands roaming down your back, pulling you impossibly closer.Â
âArt,â you say in between kisses, panting into his slick, open mouth. âI need you to fuck me.â
You can feel Artâs whole body shiver, groaning unabashedly into your mouth like heâs dying for it. âIâve been waiting weeks for you to finally admit that.â
The two of you tear through the house, all tangled limbs and bumbling steps, you trail water all over the floor. Somewhere in the chaos you drop your phone and keys on the large kitchen island. Art refuses to let go of you to walk properly, blindly leading the way so he can keep kissing you breathless.
Art only stops kissing you when you finally make it to his bedroom, pulling away to wrestle the now soaked sleep pants off his legs. You follow by example and peel your shirt off, skin damp and cold but you could care less, not when Artâs pants are pooling at his ankles and heâs throwing his boxers carelessly over his shoulder.
âGod,â he breathes out, shaking his head like he canât believe you're giving him this, âYouâre so beautiful.â
The raw honesty in his tone has your cheeks burning, you cast your gaze to the floor instinctually, feeling too overwhelmed by his charged gaze raking over you. You can hear his feet softly padding against the floor, making his way closer. You watch his feet come to a complete stop in front of you, he takes a hold of your chin gently forcing you to look up at him.Â
His eyes, intense and unwavering, lock onto yours. âYouâre fucking perfect.â
With a gentle push, Art lowers you onto the bed, his weight a comforting presence above you. He tilts your head back and kisses you breathless, one big hand sliding lower and lower on your stomach till heâs got his hand down the front of your shorts, he groans when his hand makes contact with your bare skin. Youâd almost forgotten you hadnât worn any underwear. His hand so close to your aching center has your breath hitching as you kiss, hips bucking up towards his palm.
You reach for his cock, an angry shade red and leaking steadily, but he catches your wrist before you can touch. You meet his eyes confused, but he just shakes his head.
âItâs been about me the whole time, baby. Let me fix that,â he whispers.
You nod your head wordlessly. You wouldnât dream of denying him, not right now. He smiles, pecking your lips again before he starts to kiss his way downwards. He explores your body with his mouth with such care it has you shaking under every brush his lips. He kisses all down your jaw and neck, taking extra time on your chest to map out the skin of your breasts with his tongue. He circles your right nipple with the tip of his tongue a few times over before he takes it in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth gently. It has your back arching into his mouth, hands scrambling for a purchase on the silk sheets. One long finger slides around your entrance and dips inside, shallow, then deeper, stretching you slowly, carefully, while his other hand rubs your clit with light, gentle touches. âIs this good?â Art asks quietly, voice tinged slightly with insecurity, like youâre not completely unraveling because of him.
âGod yes! Yes â fuck! â Art,â you mewl loudly, hips grinding down roughly onto his finger, desperate to take in more of him. You can feel him smile against your skin, pulling off to blow cool air over your hard nipple and repeating it all over again on your left. His finger slides through the wetness collecting in your hole, spreading it to your throbbing clit. He finally sinks a single finger into the warm, tight, heat of your cunt.
Art pulls away from your chest to kiss his way down your stomach, sliding lower and lower on the huge king size mattress, he doesnât stop the rhythm of his fingers as he peels your shorts down your legs, tossing them aside. A guttural groan leaves his lips at the sight of your slick cunt parting over his fingers, taking them so well. He pitches forward like he canât help himself, like his lips are magnetically drawn to your cunt, and presses a small kiss to your clit.Â
âFuck!â You squeal and writhe as his finger fucks in and out of you, hands tangling in his messy hair, cheeks flushing at the sound of your leaking cunt squelching against his wrist with each thrust. Art's lips tighten over your clit, sucking for a brief second before he moves back to start laving his tongue over your cunt in careful, slightly clumsy, strokes. The sounds he's making, almost filthy slurping, accompanied by little moans now and then send small vibrations through you that shock your system, making you fist his hair even tighter.Â
Artâs lewd noises fill the air, mixing with your own moans to fill the room. His eyes stay closed for the most part, fluttering open every couple seconds to watch you fall apart. Your thighs shake uncontrollably around his head when you make eye contact, threatening to clamp around his ears and keep him there.
A sob tears from your throat when he adds another finger, then he curls them inside you and pulls back and god, shit, shit, fuck, fuck me, god, Art, please fuck me.
âFuck me Art please fuck me I need it so bad please-â you ramble nonsensically, pulling at Artâs hair desperately. You can feel the warmth starting to pool in your stomach, but you donât want to come on his tongue, or on his fingers, you want to come with him inside you.
Art lets you drag him up, the bottom half of his face is slick and shiny, drenched in your wetness. He makes his way up your body quickly, hands gripping tightly to your hips, not hesitating to kiss you even as your juices decorate his lips. You kiss back desperately, tasting yourself on his tongue. The head of his cock bumping against your twitching, empty hole has you whining.Â
âFuck me, Art,â you breath hotly, hips canting up needily. âNo condom, Iâm on the pill. I want you to come inside me. Please, I need it.â
Slowly, he starts to sink in. Feeding you inch by inch torturously slow. He kisses you the whole time, greedily swallowing the moans flowing out of your mouth as he stretches your cunt on his thick cock. You grab at his shoulders like a lifeline, kissing back with everything you have.
âGod, youâre so fucking tight,â he says through gritted teeth, hands gripping your hips hard enough that you know youâll be bruised in the morning. âSo fucking perfect for me, such a perfect pussy for my cock.â
âMove.â Is all you can manage to squeak out, nails digging into the meat of his shoulders.
Art starts to move, thrusts slow and gentle, like heâs easing you into it. Youâre grateful for it, youâve never taken anyone as big as him. Slowly, his thrusts speed up, cut hips smacking against the fat of your ass a little rougher than before. You revel in it, pushing your ass back greedily for more more more. From this angle, the thick head of his cock drags against your g-spot perfectly every time he plunges back into your dripping cunt.
âShit! Right there, donât stop,â you slur breathlessly, feeling the familiar warmth swirling through your stomach as he fucks you.
âI love you.â Art confesses against your lips, his breath hot and erratic. His sweaty forehead pressed to yours as he pounds in and out of you, the motion both relentless and tender. His eyes are wide open now, so blue and so big and so honest as they bore into yours so intensely itâs suffocating.
Itâs soon, itâs way too soon. Youâve barely known each other for a couple months, but you can't deny the warmth spreading through your chest, mingling with the heat of the moment, making everything feel both overwhelming and perfect.
Now that you're here, with Artâs cock fitting so perfectly in the wet heat of your cunt, you canât believe it took you this long. You love Art. Youâve been in love with Art since the first time he spoke to you. Since the first time he touched you like you were the solution to all his problems.
Art must take your stunned silence as rejection, head falling to rest on your shoulder dejectedly, but his hips donât slow their rhythm. If anything he speeds up, hips thrusting against you desperately.
âPlease, please say it back,â he begs, voice thick with emotion, âSay it back, I need to hear you say it. Please,â
You surge up, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as you can, ankles locking together across his back. Art couldnât pull out of you if he wanted to, judging from the long whine he lets out, he doesnât mind.
âI love you, Artâ You whisper back, barely audible over the lewd slap of his hips stinging your ass. Art groans so loudly you can feel it reverberating off the sensitive skin of your neck.
Hips speeding up even faster, Art turns his head to catch your lips in a searing kiss. This kiss is different than any of the other ones youâve shared tonight, full of so much emotion and unspoken words. You swear you feel your heart grow three sizes, almost full and threatening to break out of your chest.
âIâm gonna come, fuck, Iâm gonna fucking come,â he breathes between kisses. You can only moan in response, right on the brink of your own orgasm. His hips start to lose their rhythm as he chases it, fucking into you faster and harder.
Artâs cock gives a final twitch inside you before his hips are stilling and heâs coming with a broken moan, unloading everything he has into you. Youâre right behind him, vision whiting out as you come, thighs shaking where theyâre draped around his hips.Â
Art collapses onto you, both of you breathing heavily as you come down from the high of your orgasmâs. You lay like that for a while, heaving and sweaty wrapped up in each other's arms. You feel something slot into place, something that youâve been missing.
Artâs soft voice pierces through the afterglow, âWill you hold me?â
âYes,â you whisper back, circling your arms around his shoulders.
âŠ
When you wake up hours later youâre beyond thirsty, dehydrated from all the crying, and maybe from the sex. Artâs head is laying across your bare chest, tousled hair tickling your jaw and arms snug around your waist. He looks so peaceful, eyes closed with his long lashes fanning over his cheeks. The sound of his steady breathing is almost enough to lull you right back to sleep. You smile softly, running your hands through his hair slowly. Savoring how at peace he looks, so different from the battered, broken man you met.
You slip out of his arms as carefully as possible, not wanting to wake him. Rolling out of bed to search half-assedly for your clothes in the darkness. You canât find your shirt, only your underwear and shorts. You notice a red shirt strewn over the dresser next to the bed, illuminated by the moonlight pouring through the blinds. You pick it up without thinking, it's soft in your hands, the fabric thin and worn down. You toss it on before padding out of the bedroom.
You get a little lost in your thoughts as you make your way to the kitchen, Art loves you.
The thought has you biting back a giddy smile. Art loves you and you love him too. It sounds fucking crazy, but you know itâs true. Your life is so completely fucked, you donât know if you care.
Art loves you.
Your smile doesnât leave your lips as you turn the corner, arms wrapped around yourself tightly, the warmth of Art's affection lingering like a gentle caress.
âHe smiles more.â
The soft voice ringing out from your left makes you stop in your tracks. You turn, and there in the kitchen illuminated by the soft glow of the ceiling light, like an angel, is Tashi Duncan.Â
Tashi looks at you from her spot across the room with an impassive look on her face, sheâs got your keys in one hand, fiddling with them boredly. When you don't reply she speaks again, "He's playing better, won the last three tournaments he was in." She says casually, setting her half full wine glass down on the island.
You don't need to ask her who "he" is.
You're silent for a few more beats as she stares at you expectantly, silently urging you to say something. You rack your brain for a response, caught like a deer in headlights under Tashi's gaze.
"What?" you softly mutter, words cutting through the air weakly.
Tashi sighs in exasperation, like you're a child who doesn't understand the simple question she's asking. She raises her wine glass back to her lips, draining the rest of it before setting it down once more and making her way over to you.
You know you should flee, make a break for the door before she reaches you. Running away from the woman whose husband youâre fucking - whose husband you just got done fucking, and who told you he loved you - while she pays you seems like the easiest thing to do in the moment, but you don't.
You find yourself glued to the spot as Tashi's commanding presence looms over you, until she's all you can see. Until her expensive smelling perfume is all you can breathe, until she's towering over you, miles of soft skin on display in a classy black nightie.
She stares down at you, her face completely unreadable. It feels like hours as her brown eyes burn into yours, your heart must be beating a thousand beats per second.
When Tashi finally moves, itâs her hand you see rising up in your peripheral vision. At first you think she's going to hit you, get you back for sleeping with her husband, for falling in love with her husband. You tense up, bracing for the slap, it would be the least of what you deserve, but it never comes.
Instead, Tashi's hand finds its way up to the side of your face, cupping your cheek gently. You can feel the chilled metal of her wedding band make contact with your warm skin.
You feel like you might pass out staring into the eyes of Tashi Duncan. Everything you ever wanted in high school flashing rapidly right before your eyes.
If Art Donaldson is the sun, Tashi is the moon. Her light draws you in and keeps you looking at her, and never wanting to look away.
Her thumb slides across your bottom lip, the same lip thatâs kissed her husband. Ever so slightly, she pushes the tip of her thumb into your parted lips, far enough to touch your bottom teeth. Your breath catches in your throat, eyes widening in shock, your pulse is fluttering wildly. You distantly wonder if she can feel it on the inside of her wrist.
âIâm his coach, I need to be hard on him or he fails. I refuse to let him fail,â she says softly, tone casual like sheâs not brushing the tip of your tongue with her fingers. âBut Iâm not stupid, I know what he needs. Someone sweet, someone gentle, someone who looks at him and doesnât see tennis.â
You couldnât answer her if you wanted to, but you wouldnât trust yourself to speak anyway. You feel far away and floaty the longer her fingers sit in your mouth, your brain feels like molasses.
âI canât give him what he needs. Iâm not that kind of person,â Tashi says, eyes roaming your face languidly, like sheâs window shopping your features. Her voice is nearly a whisper the next time she speaks, âbut you are. You could be that for him.â
Your heart drops, the haze surrounding your brain rips away so violently, like someone took a leaf blower to it. Her words make everything start to fall into place, the at home visits, the âexclusive dealâ, the weird ass run-ins youâve had with her over the weeks.Â
This was never about the goddamn massages.
For a few seconds you both stay like that. Standing inches away from each other in the half-lit kitchen of her and Art's house. For a second, you think you can see the tiniest smile playing on her lips before she drops her hand from you completely.
"Thereâs a car waiting for you outside,â she says, still close enough that you can feel her breath fan over your face, âSee you next Thursday."
Tashi turns on her heels and leaves you alone, disappearing down the long hallway leading to her and Art's bedroom. You watch the whole time she goes, until she completely fades into the shadows. Your lip still tingling from her touch.
Thereâs only one thing on your mind as you incredulously stare down the now empty hallâŠ
These people are so fucking weird.
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the boy is mine âč carlos sainz
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
PAIR: CARLOS SAINZ X SINGER!READER
FACECLAIM: ARIANA GRANDE [she/her]
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED | MASTERLIST
A/N: okay but penn and ariana in that video đđđ anyway iâm back with my social media aus
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honeymoonavenue oh that boy is definitely yours
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#F1 #Formula1 #MonacoGP
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ynfanburner SO WHO IS ACTUALLY THE MAN Y/N?
âł user1 ynfanburner you guys are investigating this as if she got a baby daddy đ
ynnation y/n, nicholas galitzine, and carlos sainz in the same place??? ohhhh something is telling me that itâs either one of them
user2 MBAPPE đ€©đ€©đ€©
user3 got to love anya â€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
brighterdaysln oh miss y/n is in monaco, which means business
itookasampleofynsfragrance CARLOS SAINZ IS IN THE MUSIC VIDEO
thankuln now weâre getting closer to seeing him making that cameo
âł user4 thankuln and these people be the same ones that called us delusional đ look at us now
user5 here for monaco gp â here to see y/n and sainz â
f1
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f1 Their victory is div-i-i-i-ine â€ïž
#F1 #Formula1 #MonacoGP
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ordinarythings did they just quoted y/n?
âł honeyisneedy ordinarythings carlos sainz in the boy is mine music video? i think yeah
f1forever best duo! â€ïž
ferraribabe iâm going to miss csquared soon
etrnlsnshne no way the f1 account admin just spoiled the surprise for us y/n fans
user1 my boys won!!!
user2 iâm so proud of leclerc, home victory! â€ïžđŸ
user3 itâs been a long time coming â€ïžđ€
slightlytruestory iâm living for the y/n lyric
âł obviousssss slightlytruestory carlos sainz as the man propaganda is working and i love it
ynlnupdates
Liked by ytferrari, tunyn, lnismylight, and 103,030 others
ynlnupdates Y/n L/n spotted with Carlos Sainz after celebrating his victory at the Monaco Grand Prix, May 26, 2024.
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lnhoney i donât even watch formula one, but what happened?
âł vanillayn lnhoney it is rumoured that carlos sainz will be the leading man in her next music video
user1 now i need to see him in that video and i can live in peace
ynsangels in the words of hannah montana, i got the best of both worlds
user2 IM SCREAMING OMG
â YOUTUBE
â INSTAGRAM
carlossainz55 via instagram stories
carlossainz55
Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 1,293,029 others
carlossainz55 The boy may be yours but the pleasure was all mine yourusername thank you for inviting me into your orbit for a moment & christhedirector for building a little world to play. Hey ma Iâm in a music video! And in the presence of brandy and monicadenise ?? Honored to be alongside these icons â€ïžâ€ïž
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yourusername this is a dream come true to me! once again, iâm so honored to meet you. đ€
*Liked by carlossainz55
sweetenernsour i was supposed to be in the music video (i wasnât)
sain55 BRO IS LOOKING A LITTLE TOO GOOD
user1 whatever y/n is feeding this man, itâs working cause heâs so fine đđđ
âł leclercspassengerprincess user1 go clock in and go watch some f1! youâll love it i promise đ
whatthesainz bisexuals won today!
https.ferrari IM SO JEALOUS OF BOTH OF YOU
user2 real question isâŠwhoâs the smooth operator here?
hamiltonsbabe CARLOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE QUEEN đ
carlandoo we got y/n and carlos sainz collab before gta 6
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HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ââ OP81. [REWRITE]
he may not be a london boy, but you love him all the same, and youâre about to learn the hard way that loving someone can be a wild ride.
( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )
ââ part one.
INSTAGRAM.
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yourusername me and london boy have made so many memories here together and iâll cherish them forever â€ïž. i love this sport and i love the people i've met in this sport. i'll always love it and them, but sometimes you have to take a step back and set your sights on new horizons. that said, neither of us will be competing in any events this yearâ endurance or otherwise. london boy will stay in richmond and continue to receive the best care possible from people who have grown to love him as much as i do, and in the meantime, i'll start looking to those other horizons.
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user wishing you the best of luck!! weâll miss seeing you and london boy, but we know this decision wasnât made lightly and we hope whatever you do will make you just as happy as riding does!!
user london boy lives a more luxurious life than i could ever hopeÂ
âł user real like why am i jealous of a horse đđ
âł user knowing how well these horses are treated? we should all be jealous
âł user some of these horses have rain coats that cost more than my entire wardrobe combined⊠the day i learned that was not a fun day⊠đ
user honestly only ever tuned in to watch you both
user the events wonât be the same without you!!!
user IâLL MISS YOU LONDON BOY
user take all the time you need to explore other options! you can love something and still get burnt out on it. sometimes taking that step away can be the decision that allows us to continue loving something instead of growing resentful towards it. do what you need to do to be happy! đ«¶
âł user this is such a good way to put it!!
âł user THIS. i did competitive jumping for ten years and towards the end of that time i started seeing it more as a chore than the sport i used to be so passionate about. you absolutely CAN love something and still get burnt out on it. taking breaks is so important.
user iâm sure london boy will miss you but you do you girliepop! take a trip or go on an adventure!
user oh to be a girl riding her horse across the beach at sunrise đ„Č
âł user IKR?!? talk about dream life, sheâs literally living out scenes that iâve only ever seen in movies
âł user itâs london boyâs world and weâre all just living in it
user wait does this mean no more horse content???
âł user i mean sheâs not getting rid of her horse or even outright retiring, she just wonât be riding competitively for 2023
user is she leaving the uk or smth?? bc she said other ppl will be looking after london boy?? i know nothing about horses guys iâm sorry
âł user london boy will be staying at the stables as per her caption! he will be looked after by many trained professionals who will ensure he is properly fed, watered, exercised, and groomed each day! itâs actually very common for people to board their horses at a stable since horses often need large fields to graze and exercise in, and not a lot of people have big enough backyards or own property to be able to provide that themselves. whether sheâs leaving the uk or not, we donât know, but it definitely sounds like her training with london boy will be put on hold for the time being!
user miss girl weâll always remember you and london boy as the greatest duo in endurance racing history
âł user REAL REAL REAL
user does this have to do with her falling off a few months back??
âł user it could, she did mention the encounter leaving her pretty shaken
âł user yeah but the possibility of something like this happening is so high that a lot of riders have accepted it as an inevitable occurrence in their career
âł user even still, that doesnât change the fact that she could very well be traumatized or experiencing lingering side effects
âł user guys!! speculation will do us no good!! if she wants to tell us, she will!!
user YOU KNOW I LOVE A LONDON BOY đŁđŁđŁ
logansargeant wanna trade one paddock for another?
Thereâs a sort of terrifying uncertainty that comes with breaking a long-standing routine.
Itâs like a fucked-up sort of package dealâ you stop following the methodized schedule youâve meticulously upheld for years, and in exchange, you receive more time than you know what to do with and an overwhelming responsibility to fill it.
The only question is: with what?
The muscle memory lingers, and you suspect that itâll take some time for your body to un-familiarize itself with a sleep schedule that youâve religiously held on to for years, but thereâs no demands to maintain any of it and that makes any sort of attempt at continuing to run through the motions feel entirely obsolete. You may instinctively wake up at the ass crack of dawn, but without the necessity of a horse relying on your punctuality to get him fed, watered, and turned out to the paddock, thereâs nothing you can do beyond filling the morning with something until your internal clock catches the memo and decides to let you sleep in for once.
âYou know, when I invited you to tag along with me,â Logan begins in lieu of a greeting when he opens the front door and sees you standing on the stoep of his apartment, clad in athletic wear and a pair of well-worn running shoes, âI was under the impression that we both understood that to mean the traveling to races part and not necessarily the pre-season training.â
ââMy dearest sister,ââ you sarcastically quip back in a mockingly deep voice, feigning heartfelt sincerity and pressing your hand melodramatically to your chest. ââHow good it is to see you after so long! I would be absolutely delighted if you joined me on my morning run today.ââ
Your twin brother shakes his head in exasperation, but through the facade of annoyance, you can recognize the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
âHonestly, Logie,â You pretend to wipe a tear from the corner of your eye and add in a sniffle for extra flair, âyou're too sweet. What would I ever do without you?â
âWe saw each other a week ago at brunch,â he grumbles, reluctantly taking a step back from the door and allowing you to pass over the threshold into the warmth of the apartment and out of the winterâs frigid morning air.
âWhen?â
âLast Wednesdayââ
ââdid I ask? Oh! Boom! Gotcha!â You whoop out an exclamation of victory as you continue down the hall. âGosh, I am four for four now. You gotta step up your game, Logie-bear, or this is gonna end in a miserable shut out for you.â
He heaves out a heavy sigh that carries with it twenty-two years of suppressed brotherly rage and the exhaustion that can only come from being reminded at every chance that he is, and always will be, a minute younger than you. âYou're the bane of my existence, and I do sincerely hope you know this.â
âAw, I love you too!â
You step into the small kitchen at the end of the hall. With the exception of a little potted cactus sitting on the windowsillâ a housewarming gift from youâ it looks nearly identical to how it was the last time you visited.
A month ago.
When he moved in.
There's a woven mat on the floor in front of the sink, an ashy green that contrasts nicely with the off-white cream color of the cabinets and laminate countertops. You can't really tell if Logan actually bought the mat, or if it came with the place, but it's cute nonetheless and serves as one of the few pops of color in the otherwise monochromatically beige apartment.
âI see that my cactus continues to reign supreme as the only individuality in this place,â you comment, glancing over your shoulder in time to see him appear in the doorway.
He shrugs at your words. âYeah, well, you'd be surprised how busy you can get when you're preparing for everything you've ever dreamed about. No biggie.â
âLogan,â you turn to face him, âyou'll do great. There are two other rookies on the gridââ
âAnd I'll be in the worst car out of all of them.â
âYou don't know that,â you chide gently.
This side of Logan isn't unfamiliar to youâ the anxiety and fear of failure. It's always existed, and you've known about it since the morning of his first kart race when he confided in you that he was so nervous he felt like he was going to be sick.
The insecurities surrounding his own skills have persisted and thrived with every new track, every new team, and every new series, and as you've grown alongside him you've found ways to challenge his self-doubt, but you've also learned to accept that there's only so much you alone can do.
You can debate it and challenge the self-deprecating thoughts all you want, but the voice in his head will always be there, no matter how quiet it occasionally becomes.
So you choose to drop the topic for now.
It's too early in the morning for an impromptu therapy session anyway.
You turn back around and scan the countertops until your eyes latch onto the container of pre-workout tucked away in the corner, nearly hidden amidst the mountain of vitamin and nutrient supplements.
âI thought it was part of Bennyâs job to make sure you didn't have to use all this shit,â you comment, picking through the jars and eyeing them each with unapologetic distaste.
Logan reaches over your shoulder and plucks a packet of vitamin C tablets from your hand, âSometimes these just work better.â
âYeah, maybe if you donât have a nutritionist being paid to quite literally curate a diet specifically to ensure that you donât need to use these,â you gesture widely to the assembled mass of supplements. âBut, last I checked, dear brother of mine, you do have a nutritionistâ and a very good one at thatâ who would be horrified to learn youâre substituting real fruit forâŠâ you squint down at the nutritional label of another one of the jars, but thereâs very little that you recognize amidst the scientific jargon and long, five-syllable words, âlittle gummies that taste like fruit.â
He huffs, âGet your pre-workout or I'm leaving without you.â
âYou wouldn't dare leave without me,â you grumble.
âI've done it before and I'll do it again,â he snipes, giving a brief yank on your ponytail and cackling when you swat behind yourself in futility.
Thereâs more he isnât sayingâ there always is, nowadaysâ but you recognize the deflection for what it is. You want to claw him apart with questions and demand answers that bare every inch of his soul so you understand what he isnât telling you and why he feels the need to keep it locked away even from you, but you know better than to keep pushing at something Logan clearly doesnât want to talk about.
It makes you nostalgic for a time in your life when heâd sneak down from the top of the bunk bed after your parents had tucked you away for the night and slip under the covers with you, a well-loved stuffed bear hugged to his chest. Heâd curl up beside you and youâd pull the blankets up to your chin and watch him with big, curious eyes until heâd whisper out into the darkness of your shared bedroom what he was worrying about.
More often than not it was a byproduct of a hyperactive imagination still plagued by the fears of childhood. Something about the space beneath your bed andâ âWhat if thereâs something down there? And the only way you can see it is by its glowing eyes? But what if it knows when someone is gonna look under the bed, so it closes its eyes so you canât see the glow?â Or the curtains andâ âYou have to make sure they cover the whole window because what if you donât and then something looks inside and it knows Iâm not asleep and then it comes inside? I always hold really still and pretend to be asleep even when Iâm not if the curtains arenât closed.â
But sometimes it was about anything and everything else like the fox sitting in the bushes by the bus stop on the way home from school and whether or not it had water to keep it cool in the Florida heat, or the purple glitter pen Mrs. Moore used to grade his spelling test and how the girl sitting next to him had gotten her test graded with the green glitter pen, orâ âI forgot my coat in Mr. Garrisonâs class yesterday, and you went and got it for me and brought it to the car with you, and I didnât say thank you, but I always feel bad when I leave my coat behind because what if it has feelings and felt really bad because it thought I was abandoning it, so thank you for getting my coat so it didnât feel abandoned.â
But that was then and this is now.
Youâre both adults, and you live in different apartments on different ends of the city, and you work different jobs that separate you by half the globe at times. Thereâs no more talk of foxes by bus stops or glitter pens, and certainly no more sentient coats with fears of abandonment.
When you look at Logan now, he isnât wasting away, and really you owe it to him after you announced out of the blue a week ago that you werenât just taking a break from competitive riding, but rather taking a break from riding as a whole. He didnât press you on it thenâ still hasnât pressed you on it despite having every right to do so. The least you can do now in return is respect the boundary heâs trying to set.
You mutter a few curses beneath your breathâ words your mother would throw a fit over if she could hear youâ and feign a scowl, but some of the tension in Loganâs shoulders has released and that's all you can ask for.
âIf you leave me behind, Iâll leak a picture of your pathetic kitchen to the tabloids and let everyone tear apart your design choices,â you threaten, digging your knuckles into the tender spot of his arm where bicep meets shoulder and taking pride when he squirms away and beyond reach.
He flips you off. âYouâre just jealous I have a cool cactus and you donât.â
âHey!â You give a lazy kick in his direction, but he sidesteps it easily with a laugh. âI gave you that cactus!â
âTomato, tom-ah-to.â He flippantly waves his hand in your direction, laughing again at the indignant squawk you make. âJust hurry up and make your damn drink.â
As he makes his way out of the kitchen, presumably to grab his shoes, you unscrew the lid from the container and reach for the scoop.
Only to find it entirely empty.
âYou asshole! There's nothing in here!â
Loganâs cackle echoes from another room.
INSTAGRAM.
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yourusername day 14 without london boy and i have officially succumbed to the boredom and willingly subjected myself to the presence of my arch nemesis (love you logie đ«¶)
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logansargeant in my defense, you just showed up
user you could not PAY me to go out in this weather
user as a florida girlie myself, this is my nightmare
âł user REAL
âł user genuinely seeing this makes me so glad i live in a place where thereâs no snow cuz yea, the view is pretty and all, but not even a gorgeous sunrise would make up for me freezing my ass off and having to wear seven layers just to keep the feeling in my fingers and toes
user i wish the most stressful part of my day was going for a morning run đ
user calling logan her nemesis is so real i just know that man is a menace
âł user the f2 clips of him and liam are proof enough
âł user logan sargeant was a menace back in f3 đ have you SEEN the prema videos with oscar and fred? bro is diabolical when he wants to be
âł user i'm so excited for the chaos he'll bring to the grid this year
user the snow man is so cute!!
user â14 days without london boyâ OH I AM ILL đđđ
user ok but that view is gorgeousness
âł user ikr?! winter sunrises are genuinely so pretty
user iâm still so confused as to why she isnât riding anymore?? can someone pls explain
âł user to be entirely honest, iâm not sure really what there is to explain. first and foremost, we arenât owed any sort of explanation as to why sheâs decided to take a step back from riding. it could be a personal decision, a career decision, or something else, but whatever it is we arenât automatically entitled to it just because y/n has previously been very open and vocal about her and london boyâs training. second, she never actually said that she isnât riding anymore. she said sheâs taking a step back from competitive riding to focus on other things, and the âwithout london boyâ part of her caption implies that she hasnât seen him, but she could just be taking a prolonged break, or she could be focusing on something else that has prevented her from going to see him. but again, none of it is our business and she doesnât owe us any further explanation to what she meant.
âł user THIS THIS THIS!! as sad as i am to not have london boy on my feed, y/n is a grown adult with her own private life and we have to respect her decisions!! if or when she chooses to come forward about the specifics of her future plans and goals, then thatâs great and iâll continue to support her endeavors, but for the time being we all just have to be patient
user the selfie logan posted with you on his story was so cute!! đ„°
user sheâs a runner sheâs a track star
user iâve missed the twin content!
âł user me too!! i really hope that her taking a break from competitions (as much as i love london boy) will mean we get to see her actually going to more of loganâs races, especially now that heâll be in formula 1!!
oscarpiastri if the rumours are to be believed, i look forward to getting to catch up at the races this year
ââ tags: @urfavnoirette @casperlikej @awritingtree @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis @405rry @aquangxl @bellezaycafe @peqch-pie @formulaal @chonkybonky @mess-is-my-aesthetic @flippingmyshit @peachiicherries @spacegirlstuff @myxticmoon @landosgirlxoxo @k-pevensie28 @moonypixel @lewisvinga @81vas @maih23 @thatoneembarrasingmoment @elz-xo @the-navistar-carol
ââ a/n: surprise! i've been working on this for a little while now (i got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday, so the time i've spent recovering has been spent polishing up the last few details for this first part) but here she is! as promised, the newly rewritten and revamped 'he likes my american smile'! i feel like i always say it, but the original genuinely holds such a special place in my heart because it was the first work i ever posted here on tumblr, so i'm really happy to take all that i've learned since then and apply it where i can in this new version. i really hope the changes and development is as loved by you all as it is by me, and that you all enjoy!
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đ§đš đšđ§đ đđźđ đČđšđź ⥠choi yeonjun.
If you had known that a fun night out eating junk food with your best friend that you have always harbored a crush on would turn this sour because he misunderstood your words, you would have kept your mouth shut. Now Yeonjun has gone radio silent on you and if you want to salvage your friendship, you will have to get over your feelings first because he will never forgive you if he finds out. Right?
⧠choi yeonjun x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ⥠best friends to lovers!au ⥠angst ⥠humor ⥠fluff
⧠7 k words
⧠warnings! inaccuracies wrt college sports/scouting/ice hockey, profanity, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, discussion and exhibition of puck bunny behavior, mentions of slut-shaming, misunderstandings, miscommunication, jealousy, some pining, yeonjun is stooooopiiiid, yn is also stooooopiiiid, one (1) singular heavy makeout sesh that gets a little out of hand hehe (:
⧠note! hi, world! this is a sideblog i created v v recently, but you wonât find links to my main anywhere bec iâve decided to be a catfish on this one (: LOL jk, i just wanted a fresh start. i will be cutting back on the hoeing around i used to indulge in w my writing on that blog, and keep this place as sfw as i can - weâll focus on tummy-aching angst instead! w a happy ending ofc bec ya girl is a softie đ
leave me feedback if you like this! follow for more! (:
⧠masterlist | inbox â
"Dude, this has gone so fucking soggy, it's like chewing leather. Please stop eating it."
Your words of disgust and grimace of distaste were, unsurprisingly, nothing to deter your best friend from munching on the cold fries he'd left for the last when he'd been too busy gobbling down his burgers. Stuffing a handful into his mouth like an actual ape, he in fact wiggles his eyebrows at you in a challenge.
"I feel like I've seen an orangutan eat exactly the way you just did, Choi Yeonjun. Please stop."
That makes him giggle and clear his mouth, finally raising his hands in surrender. "Kay, I give up. They do taste like leather."
"Not even gonna ask how you know that⊠But this is why you're supposed to have your fries with the burgers and not after it."
"But they mess up my palate!"
When he pouts like that, it's so hard for you to believe that he's the universityâs senior ice hockey teamâs ace, their Center, their captain, and that heâs looking to get scouted professionally, this year. When he pouts like that, he takes you back to the time you first met him on the first day of your high school, both clueless freshmen with wide, innocent eyes full of huge dreams about your future.
Dreams that you're both very, very close to making a reality, now â him as a professional hockey player, and you interning at the law firm of your dreams.
Damn. Time sure flies fast.
âWhat? Is there something on my face?â Yeonjun tilts his head and you blink away from your thoughts, averting your gaze from his to instead stare at his shitty, soggy fries.
âYeah. Stupid. A lot of it.â
Yeonjun rolls his eyes and rips a tissue out of the dispenser on the table to dab around his mouth just in case, and that gives you room to breathe in and out and try to will away the heat you can feel in your cheeks.
See, now, the thing is â you donât necessarily have romantic feelings for your platonic best friend of eight years. Thatâd just be absurd and kind of creepy. But you sure as heck have always harbored a crush on him.
Itâs just impossible not to!Â
Guy has always been literally the most gorgeous human being youâve ever seen, even at the universally ugly age of fourteen. Heâs a gentleman, always kind to every single person in his life, would probably cut a limb off for a friend in need, and ever since your sophomore year of college, heâs gotten into manically coloring his hair, whichâŠis seriously injurious to the onlookersâ health because dear God, the dirty blonde of his hair with the dark roots peeking through from his middle part? Makes your heart literally pound.
And he isnât even doing anything! Other than being gross with a tissue paper and inedible fries, which should absolutely turn you off from ever liking anything about him, but it does the opposite.
That is another thing about him â heâs too freaking smooth and sexy about every damn thing in his life. The day his hair turned from black to blue, nearly two years back, he developed all these flirty charms on top of his kind ones. Now he isnât just an insanely handsome dude whoâd hold your hand to help you cross the road, but heâd also freaking wink at you when you thank him for his kindness.
You as in a person, not â not you. Heâd never wink at you, you're too friendzoned for that. And it's kind of a blessing because youâd probably run the risk of jumping back into oncoming traffic if he did.
Wow.
You canât count on one hand the number of times you have had to tug on the reins of your heart when itâs tried to take a flight, jumping off the cliff of your very inconvenient crush and into the bottomless abyss of having actual romantic feelings for him. Because that would be catastrophic. And not just because you fear he'd reject you and youâd lose the one person who means the most to you in the world.
âShould I get more burgers?â
Your gaze snaps to him in surprise. Heâs pouting again, this time looking at the greasy fingerprints laden menu card kept on your table. The anxiety that had started to churn in your stomach at the prospect of your very concerning crush turning into something more, suddenly leaves and you huff out a small laugh.
âYouâve had six in the past hour, Jjun. Iâd say stop for the night, maybe?â
âHey, I have a big appetite!â He scowls at you. âAnd itâs close to midnight, already! You know I begin my diet for the season from tomorrow!â
You groan. âWell, then, why did you ask?â
âTo be encouraged, of course! To be comforted.â He widens his eyes and blinks at you. âOr did you forget Iâm also supposed to be nursing a broken heart?â
The groan you release at that is loud, drawn out and filled with a yearâs worth of exasperation. This is the other reason why you catching romantic feelings for him would be catastrophic. His emotional quotient is seriously questionable when it comes to the matters of heart. If he could love a partner half as much as he loves dogs, maybe he wouldnât be ânursing a heartbreakâ because of the fifth person that has dumped him since your final year began. And you arenât even done with your mid-sems yet.
But you don't tell him that, instead patting on his leather jacket clad forearm with a fake sympathetic expression. âAh, yes, poor you. My deepest condolences to your heart.â
He knows you and your bullshit and you know he does, so the attack that his hands launch at your throat in the next two seconds doesn't surprise you, and your defensively raised shoulders don't surprise him.
You're both dissolving into giggles, then, having nothing short of a wrestling match across the small cafe table. "I really liked Lea, okay?"
"Oh yeah? You didn't evenâoof, that tickles! You didn't even know she was Kai's sister!"
At that he lets go of you and slumps back in his seat with a scowl. "Please don't remind me. I still worry he's gonna stab me in my sleep somedayâŠ"
You place a palm over your mouth to stifle your laugh. "To be fair, Lea shouldn't have been indulging in puck bunny behavior if she didn't want to be treated like one."
"Don't say that wo~rd," Yeonjun whines with his whole head thrown back. "She's Kai's sister! And she's younger than me!"
"Just by four months! Stop being dramatic, Jjun. She's a junior at college â she knew what she was doing."
Yeonjun doesn't look convinced. "I mean⊠I don't think she was with me only because I'm hockey captain. She knows all of HK's friends personally."
You wonder why he is defending her. Did he actually, genuinely like the girl? Romantically? What are the odds of Yeonjun finally making an attempt to open his heart up to someone and them ending up dumping him? He doesn't really look that dumped, though, so you figure that this must be out of some misplaced protectiveness he feels for one of his best friend's sisters.
Man should've thought of that before he dated her. Sigh.
"Yeah, which makes it worse." You wince when he frowns. "Come on, Jjun. She's known you since middle school but decides to make a move now? Only to break it off in three weeks because others are 'slut-shaming' herââyou make air-quotes around the term, rolling your eyesââwhen they call her out for wearing another guy's jersey in preseason when she's supposed to be dating you. Can't tell me that's not manipulative and experienced puck bunny behavior."
Yeonjunâs eyes are wide when you finish speaking. âWhatâŠ?â
âShe didn't have feelings for you, Jjun! I mean, you obviously didn't have any for her either, but I hope you keep it that way with these girls. I highly doubt Lea even tried to get to know you at all, given how busy she was posting pictures of y'all on all her socials." His expressions haven't changed much, so you try to conclude your point quickly. âAll I'm saying is, it is actually a good thing youâve never taken these relationships too seriously. Thereâs more business than emotion with these clout chasers, Jjun.â
Yeonjun is gaping at you now and you're a little confused as to how to take it. Is he surprised at the revelation about Lea? You doubt that to be the case when the entire tale of their romance had been broadcasted all over the campus this past week.
So thenâŠis he surprised at your opinion of things? You sure hope he isn't about to pick a fight with you because you're in no mood to concede. Not about this. Not when you've died multiple deaths every minute that Lea has spent being a pick-me by your best friend's side.
"I⊠She did have feelings for me, Y/N. Theyâthe girls that I date all have some feelings for me, come on." He gives a small chuckle that is so wry, it makes you fidget in discomfort. âI havenât taken these relationships that casually. I'm â Iâm not some vain playboy, sleeping my way around the college.â
Okay, hold on â what?
What?
How did he take that away from your rant? He's really defending himself when you never even attacked him? When you never would attack him?
"Yeonjun, no⊠That's not what I'm tryingâ"
"Let's â let's just drop this." He looks distressed, and the frown on his lips makes your heart hurt. More so because you are the one who put it there. "You won't get it, anyways."
Now that â gives you a pause. "I won'tâŠget it?"
He gets up, unbothered and unabashed, and walks with his tray of empty wrappers and inedible fries to dump it into the trash can near the exit of the cafe. You wordlessly follow, tilting your head in an attempt to catch his eye, but Yeonjun's got some 5 inches on you so you can't really force him to look at you when he doesn't want to.
And now he's walking out of the cafeteria.
"Jjun?"
He sighs and stops, looking over his shoulder, straight into your eyes with a bored stare. "What?"
"What? You're, like, not even gonna explain that last sentence?"Â
This time you're the one with the wry chuckle while Yeonjun fidgets in discomfort.Â
"What won't I get, Yeonjun?"
"Look, it's⊠well. Youâve always subtly looked down upon all the girls Iâve dated in college, and that was fine. Youâre my best friend, youâre allowed to be a critic.â He shrugs with a nonchalant look in his eyes, but his lips are still twisted sourly. âBut⊠I never realized you thought I was the problem. Someone so vapid that my only appeal is the fame hockey gets me.â
No⊠literally when did you insinuate that?
You're rendered mute, taken aback by how badly Yeonjun seems to have interpreted your words. He exhales and it sounds very loaded. You don't miss the way he keeps avoiding your gaze; nor the disappointed frown that decorates his forehead.
âYou wonât get it because you donât want me, youâve never wanted me â and that is absolutely cool! But just because you like to have me as a comedic relief character in your life doesnât mean that no one sees any depth in me.â
âA⊠comedic relief character?â your voice comes out low and hoarse and almost tattered, a little shrilly from disbelief. You're not even gonna touch on his 'never wanted him' claim because the rest of his speech has your brain actually spinning. âWhat the hell are you talking about? This isnât about you â itâs about these girls⊠Youâre my best friend, Yeonjun!â
âAnd yet you canât find one reason why these girls would like me beyond using me for clout.â He gives a shrug and finally meets your eyes again. But his stare is absolutely vacant and unreadable. âYou donât use me for clout, though, and yet you keep me around. You obviously donât care about my opinions, or you wouldn't have exchanged numbers with Changbin when I told you he was bad news. What else is there to our friendship other than laughing together, then?â
His words are like death blows â each syllable laced with a different kind of poison. Every inhale you take from the air his words have contaminated seems to sear a painful path through your lungs. Breathing hurts. Looking at him hurts. Your eyes are filling up and your tummy is aching.
Thereâs so much wrong with everything he just said, so much misinterpretation, so many actual blatant untruths, that you donât even know how to begin correcting them.Â
How did you even get here?
Youâd only been trying to warn him about girls that might use him. You were only trying to protect his heart.
How did that turn into him thinking you donât value your friendship with him? That you donât value him?
âOh, and by the way,â he continues, pushing both hands into his leather jacket and looking into the distance, âChangbinâs probably gonna ask you to cheer for him this season, which is kind of a big deal because⊠you know, this out final session and there will be professional scouts present and all. So if you decide to say yesâŠâ He pauses and turns to look at you again, gaze tired and eyes lidded. âIf you say yes, I hope you know itâll mean a lot more.â
Why is he bringing up Changbin again? Youâd only exchanged numbers to get that guy's incessant ass off your back â you havenât even responded to a single text heâs sent you in the past two months. Cheering for him? In a season as important to their careers as this one?Â
Absolutely out of the question.
Does Yeonjun not know you at all?
Youâre about to tell him that, when he suddenly pulls his phone out with a sigh. âIâm planning to hand my jersey over to Chaeyoung â you know, running for senior cheer captain? Thought Iâd ask for your opinion, but⊠Youâve already made that pretty clear tonight.â
Angry tears blur your vision and your heart hurts as if itâs dying a slow death in your chest.
Chaeyoung, really? So heâs skipping seamlessly from Lea to Chaeyoung.Â
Of course.Â
Why did you even bother worrying about his heart when he clearly doesnât even have one. How could you forget.
Maybe itâs a good thing you never let yourself fall for Yeonjun beyond a crush.
âFor what itâs worth,â you finally manage to mutter, brows furrowed and gaze focused on your worn out sneakers, âIâm sorry. I was trying to look out for you, not â not hurt you. Youâre the most important person in my life, Yeonjun. I could never hurt you.â
You donât wanna wait around to hear his response, so you just wordlessly walk away. Your dorms are hardly half a mile from here; you can shut yourself in your room and sob into your pillow in less than twenty minutes from now.
The fact comforts you enough to make you walk faster.
And also helps you ignore the pain that runs across your entire body when Yeonjun doesnât even attempt to stop you.
You havenât checked your phone in a while now but it has to have been over six am currently because you can hear your roommate moving around. Stealthily, you pull the comforter down from your face to peer into the dark room, only to hear a loud sigh echo around the place.
âYouâre seriously still up?â Yuqiâs disappointed voice calls out. âThe crying sounds stopped sometime after four so I reckoned you fell asleep.â
You wince in guilt. âFuck, Yuqi, Iâm so sorry I kept you awakeââ
âWoah, what?â
She turns the lights on, suddenly brightening the room. Your roommateâs dressed in her cheer outfit, probably on her way to early morning practice. She is running for captain as well and the voting concludes in five days.
Cheer captain⊠ChaeyoungâŠ
You can feel another bout of tears coming on, the back of your raw eyes stinging anew. Your head is pounding like someoneâs cracked your skull open, but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ache that originates from your heart and makes your entire chest cave in on itself.
âOh my God, babe, you look worse than you sound!â
You click your tongue and rub at your eyes. âI⊠Ugh, itâs been a weird night, Yuqi.â
She kneels beside you on the floor, face drawn in concern. âAre you okay?â
âI will be.â You try to sit up with her help. âI guess?â
âOh, babeâŠâ Yuqi sits next to you and draws you in an embrace. âWhat happened?â
âYâYeonjun,â you can barely articulate his name before your throat closes up again.
âAh, man. Whatâd the idiot do this time?â
Yuqi has been your roommate and your closest friend since freshman year. Needless to say, she knows all about your friendship with Yeonjun and more than a little about your crush on him. She believes heâs too oblivious and doesnât particularly like him for that reason. More often than not, youâre batting for his defense against Yuqi.
Right now, though, you feel like youâre gonna agree with every colorful word she uses for the guy.
So you tell her exactly what happened â give her a play by play of all the words said and reactions given, receiving hisses and grunts of annoyance in response, until you mention what he said about Changbin and Yuqi breaks your narration with a gasp.
âWhat the fuck?â
You just sigh and shrug a shoulder. âAnd heâs picking Chaeyoung to to wear his jersey for the most important season of his life, so I guess itâs whatever.â
âYou know, it seemed to me like he was upset and acted out defensively⊠which would have been okay to a certain point, a misunderstanding that could be cleared out â had he not pulled that Changbin card. Why would he ask you to go after a teammate?â Yuqi tugs at the end of her ponytail in frustration. âAnd Chaeyoung? Literally the enemy? Now he's just an asshole.â
That last bit makes a small chuckle tumble out of you. âHow⊠how is she, though? As a person?â
Itâs so stupid of you to still attempt to look out for Yeonjun when he just dismissed your whole friendship. But you cannot help it.
âSheâs⊠not a bad person, to be honest. As much as it pains me to admit.â Yuqi sighs. âSheâs friends with the entire cheer team, friendly with the players, never been a bully to anybody. Hence why sheâs running for captain alongside me.â
Should that comfort you? You believe it should. You warned your best friend about girls that might try to use him â and Chaeyoung sounds like she might not be that kind of a person. Thatâs good news, right?
So why does your heart seem to ache even more?
âEverything just...hurts, Yuqi. So much.â You tip your head against her shoulder. âWhat do I do?â
âAdmit to yourself that you donât just have aa crush on Yeonjun, for starters?â
You turn to look at her with surprised wide eyes. âWhat?â
Yuqi just rolls her eyes. âCome on, Y/N. You canât move on if you donât admit to it first, can you?â
Move on�
Is that what you have to do now? Maybe.Â
If you want to attempt to salvage any bit of your bond with Yeonjun, itâs best if you at least get rid of the affection that permeates the boundaries of platonic friendship.
âAnd then maybe text Changbin back,â Yuqi continues. âHeâs their goalie. Iâve talked to him a couple of times, heâs nice. Kinda cute? If nothing else, he'll help take your mind off of Yeonjun and Chaeyoung.
You just exhale a deep breath. âMaybe.â
16:37 | changbin (:
congratulations to yuqi!
tell her i knew she would make it :D
âȘ Haha thanks! Will do!
soooo our first matchâs three days away
kinda wanted to ask u something before that
meet me at the lockers after practice today lol?
âȘ Oh itâs Monday already right?
âȘ Iâll see you at the lockers, sure!
âȘ How does around 7 sound?
perfect~~
just like your eyes >.<
âEw, man, ewwwâŠâ
You press your phone to your chest with a gasp, turning to glare at Yuqi. âHey! Itâs rude to read over someoneâs shoulder!â
âNo, whatâs ruder is you not telling me how cringey this guy is!â Yuqi is very close to rolling on the floor, and you really canât blame her.Â
Youâve been texting back and forth with this Changbin guy for over a week now. Heâs definitely nice and definitely more than a little cute, Yuqi didnât lie to you.Â
But â the way this dude flirts? Good God.Â
Cringe must be an understatement. You have permanent goosebumps at this point because of how often you experience full body shivers out of the absolute secondhand embarrassment he has made you live through, every single day.
On the other hand, there's been radio silence between you and⊠him. Your best friend. His name sends a painful pang through your chest, so you've been avoiding even thinking about him. And Changbin's been a great distraction on that front.
That is not to say it has helped any feelings to blossom in your heart for the guy. His sweet but cringey self is a friend, at best. Your heartâŠis obviously elsewhere.
Things became so much clearer once you let yourself think everything over without any pressure and pretense, and admit to what you feel for your best friend, like Yuqi suggested.
Turns out you were wrong, after all. You really haven't succeeded at managing to stop yourself from falling further than a harmless crush for Yeonjun, because this constant hurt that has made home in your chest ever since he stopped talking to you? The wave of gloom that overtakes you whenever you so much as think about him? Surely a lot more harmful than what a crush warrants and surely surpassing best friend territory; by a leap.
The next step was attempting to move on with the help of Changbin, but that clearly fell flat on its face.
Exhaling a tired breath, you send a blushing emoticon back to the guy, and wonder why you're responding to his flirting when you know you've already failed and this is gonna end in tragedy.
âHe sends you congratulations for making captain, by the way," you inform Yuqi when she's finally stopped giggling.
âAw, did he say that was cool? As cool as your hair, maybe?â
You just groan and roll your eyes. âIâm gonna go see him tonight. Heâll probably offer me his jerseyâŠâ
That sobers Yuqi up. âOh. So itâs time, huh? Whatâre you gonna tell him?â
You give her a wry smile. âWhat do you think?â
Understanding flashes across her face as Yuqi pats your shoulder in comfort with a sympathetic smile. âWell⊠At least you tried, yeah?â
Yeah⊠and failed spectacularly.
And are now hopelessly in love and helplessly heartbroken.
The locker rooms are nearly empty when you get there by seven. According to Changbin's text, he'll be there in the next five minutes and you are to wait by the rows immediately opposite the entrance to the bathrooms.
For a men's locker, the place is fairly clean and pleasant smelling.Â
You're in the middle of inhaling a chest full of some citrusy fragrance when the pitter-patter of a feet reaches you â and then abruptly stops. The small gasp that meets your ears before you've even fully turned around is enough for you to recognise him.Â
Why're you bumping into him here of all places?
He's been a ghost around the campus, as absent from your shared classes and the cafeteria as he is from your inbox â your life.Â
But here he shows up â to catch you waiting for a guy he's always warned you against and only told you to accept when he was mad at you.
You're beginning to regret this whole thing you began with Changbin even though you're here to end it tonight.
Swallowing, you swerve on your heels to come face to face with a freshly showered Yeonjun, dressed in a fluffy hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, head filling up with thoughts of burying yourself in his embrace. His hair isn't fully dried yet, with some of it sticking to his forehead, butâŠwhat draws your attention is how gaunt and tired his face looks.Â
There are large purple bags beneath his eyes and permanent frown lines around his lips. You're willing to bet this is not all due to the season's stress, because the last time you saw Yeonjun with dark circles was when you came down with a bad flu in high school and were bedridden for a week. He stayed by your side the whole time, despite both your mothers warning him about catching the infection, and barely slept.
You know it's a little unfair of you to think this way when you're the one that hurt him first, even if unintentionally, but you can't help wondering whether Yeonjun would still care if you caught a flu now. Would he even bother checking up on you, now that he's made it clear that he believes you don't think much of him and your friendship.
Does he still value you and your bond, despite the conclusions he's drawn about your feelings?
"What are you⊠oh."
Those are his first words to you in over a week, and the absolute disappointment on his face kinda makes up for the lack of verbal cues.
Your fists tighten on your sides, hating the way his eyes fill up with nonchalance and the way his lips purse. Why's he acting like he doesn't care? He should care!
But at the same time, you don't want him to think of you even worse than he has been. So you clear your throat and try to explain, "I've⊠I'm gonna clear things out with Changbin. Tell him I'm not interested so that he doesn't â he doesn't hope for anything more."
Yeonjun raises an eyebrow up, setting his jaw and lowering his eyelids. "You're good at that, aren't you? Ensuring that people aren't living with false hopes?"
Hearing his voice after so long fills your heart up with an emotion you're probably too inarticulate to explain. But his words, as snidely delivered as they are, confuse you. "What�"
Rolling his eyes as if explaining himself to you is a waste of time for him, Yeonjun waves a hand in dismissal. "Nothing at all. He'll be heartbroken, though. Was really counting on you cheering for him. Are you absolutely sure you're not interested?"
His patronizing tone is a little too much for you, and even the lower pitch of voice he's using â one that you have always secretly fawned over â isn't able to curb your frustration. "Yes, Yeonjun, I'm sure. He'll live, he'll find someone else." And because you're beginning to feel irritated and jealous, you add, "If his second choice isn't Chaeyoung, that is."
You see the way a vein pops in his forehead and a sense of satisfaction runs through you at having struck a nerve. "Oh, so you've got words to say about Chaeyoung too, then? I thought you'd let her pass because she's famous enough by herself. Cheer vice captain, and all."
He's throwing you bait to rile you up, you know that â but you can't help the fiery fury that overtakes your senses either way.
Stalking up to him, you push a finger against Yeonjun's chest and glare into his wide, surprised eyes. "If you really think she's interested in you for you, go ahead and date her. Don't goad me into giving an opinion when you won't even care about it."
He brings a large hand up to wrap around yours, holding it tight in obvious anger. "Like you care about mine?"
"I'm literally here to say no to Changbin, Jjun! What the hell is your problem?" you yell out, pushing at his chest with your free hand â but to no avail because he holds your other wrist with his other hand as well.
"My problem is that you're saying no because you think this is beneath you!" he yells back, leaning from his towering form to bring his face to the same level as yours. "You think my girlfriends, my lifestyle â everything's beneath you!"
Your mouth falls open in utter shock because once again â this was never about him! "Yeonjun â no! For the last time, no, I don't think that! I don't think you're vain or unlikable, or that anything you do is beneath me, I just â I just fear someone will break your heart if you're not careful!"
"Is that so? You're not judgemental of the girls I date? Didn't you call Lea a â a puck bunny?"
"I didn't mean it like that!" you scream back and lean towards him, leaving barely inches between both of your fuming, frowning faces. "I was just getting metaphorical and, hell, maybe I was jealous because you've never asked me to cheer forâfuckâŠ"
Panicked, you pull away from Yeonjun's loosened grasp, looking away from his raised eyebrows and open mouth.
You did not mean to say that. Not like this, not now⊠maybe never.
Face heating up like a damn furnace, you stumble away from your frozen best friend in a hurry. If he thought you were sabotaging your friendship before, he's going to absolutely hate you for harboring feelings for him. It's a blatant breach of his trust.
Shit, you should've begun to distance yourself when you first felt the tender tendrils of affection for the cutest fourteen year old guy you'd ever seen. You shouldn't have let those feelings fester â you shouldn't have let them grown into this beast that now stands to swallow your years' long friendship.
Tears prick your eyes, but there's no time to mourn right now â you need to get back to your dorm and bury yourself beneath a pillow before that.
But you've barely made it to the gates to the locker room when a firm hand grips your upper arm from behind and twirls you around. Back pressing into the wall, a gasp is torn from your chest when Yeonjun's huge, twinkling eyes cage you in. His arms resting on the wall next to you are completely unnecessary; you'd stand still through an apocalypse if he pinned you with this gaze of his.
"WhatâŠwhat do you mean you were jealous I never asked you?" he breathlessly questions, literal stars sparkling through his dark irises at you.
Now. If you were not adept at reading your best friend like a book, maybe you would have wondered if coming clean right now would make his eyes brighter or dim them instead. Maybe you would have debated whether lying your way out of this situation and apologizing later would be a good idea. Maybe you would have ducked from under his arms and made a run for it.
But because you have known this boy for more than seven years now, have observed every single expression of happiness and excitement that his face is capable of producing, have admired how adorable hope and anticipation looks on him â because you've loved him since the time you could barely even understand what love meantâŠyou have no reason to doubt.
"I mean I wanted you to ask me, Jjunie. I wanted to be the one that'd be by your side, wearing your jersey and cheering from the stands for you," your voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, but Yeonjun clings onto every single word, given the stutters you can hear in his breathing. "I⊠I wanted you to look at me when you scored, point at me and tell everyone around us thatâŠ"
Your gaze flickers down his face, running across his nose to land on his parted, plump pair of lips. They spread a little to allow an airy chuckle to pass, and then form a wispy, questioning: "That?"
He's moved incredibly close to you, nearly touching your foreheads together and leaving an inch of space between your mouths. You look up into his eyes and they are hooded, spilling happiness, adoration but also something sincere.
"That," you rasp quietly, slowly in the small space between you, "that I'm your girl."
Yeonjun's exhale of minty toothpaste breath washes over your face, forehead tipping over yours and nose sliding against yours. When he speaks next, his lips brush the corner of your mouth and your body grows taut like a bowstring, ready to snap at the barest flick of his hands.
"Are you my girl?"
His voice has gotten incredibly lower and guttural and you just bring your hands up to clench into the fabric of his hoodie to ground yourself. Your eyes slide shut against the intensity of his own, breaths coming shorter and faster.
"I'd â I'd like to be. IfâŠyou'd have me?"
"Of fuck, baby, don't you know you've always owned me?"
You barely get a moment to process the term of endearment and the acceptance, let alone the actual depth and true implication of his words, when the softest pairs of lips you have ever felt brush against yours. Tentatively, so lightly that they almost tickle. Gasping in an exhale, you part your eyelids to find Yeonjun looking at you through a similarly shuttered gaze.
"Can I kiss you?"Â
Oh God, oh God, oh Godâ
âYes, please.â
The words have barely exited you before Yeonjun is erasing any remaining space between you completely by pressing his mouth fully against yours. His lips feel even more softer than they look, molding against yours like a pair of clouds. Combined exhales of relief leave the two of you, breathing just as in sync as your bodies are. Your hands move from his jacket to run across his broad shoulders and your fingers wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.
As if waiting for you to do just that, Yeojun guides both his hands to your waist, bringing you closer to him, before one of them detours to run past your waist and down your thigh to hook around your knee. His mouth opens against yours, then, teeth biting into the flesh of your bottom lip. With a shuddering gasp, you hold onto him tighter and allow him to lick into your mouth, lost in the taste and feel of him.
His hand grips onto your leg to lift it from the ground and wrap it around his thigh, allowing him to slot his hips against yours perfectly. You can feel yourself spiraling, unable to form coherent thoughts beyond the heady rush of electricity that zaps through you with every pull of Yeonjun's lips. When you begin to grow breathless, his lips detach from yours to slip down your chin and press against your throat.
A mixture of gasp and whine escapes you, making his grip on you tighten and his lips turn bolder in their exploration of your neck. You feel his teeth scraping over your collarbone and shivers run through you, causing your back to arch and press further into his body. He groans against your skin and runs his hand up your leg to caress the delicate skin of your thigh.
You realise this is getting kind of out of hand because you've just confessed your feelings and you're still in the damn locker room, but your eyes can't help but clench shut as your fingers tug on his silky soft hair, silently asking him to keep going.Â
But Yeonjun is far more in control of the situation than you are, given the way he turns his kisses from hungry to chaste, slowly. Pressing a closed mouth peck to your cheek, he rearranges his grip on you to pick you up with his hands beneath your thighs, and carries you to a bench. He sits down and drapes your legs over his own to make you straddle him, holding you firmly but softly in place.
He plants a soft, sweet kiss to your lips and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyelids part to the blurry sight of his shining eyes. It takes you a moment to realise you have tears in your eyes â and that he does as well.
With the softest smile that you have ever seen on him, Yeonjun brings a thumb up to your face and flicks at the corner of your eye.
"I've liked you ever since high school, you know?"
Your lashes flutter in fascination. "Really? But you never⊠you alwaysâŠ"
His cheeks grow pink when you scrunch your nose up instead of finishing the sentence, and he shuts his eyes. "You just never really showed any interest⊠You never looked jealous or bothered by my love life."
"I was being a good friend!" You chuckle when he rolls his eyes. "Besides, I had plenty to say about the girls you dated?"
He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, still looking at you with a soft gaze, but his lips have twitched into a devastating smirk. "But you never said I could date you instead."
A blast of heat flushes your entire face at his words. Remember when you said he never flirted with you and you were grateful for that? Yeah, you still stand by that. Your heart's racing so fast, it's a wonder it hasn't malfunctioned yet. Yeonjun reads your face, too, and pecks your nose with a giggle .
"I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out, baby," he then whispers to you, sounding so forlorn that the sound of his voice, especially with that pet name, makes you wanna cry again. "I should've realized you were jealousâŠ"
"I'm sorry, too, Jjun," you whisper back, hands coming up to play with the drawstrings of his hoodie that your eyes focus on as well, suddenly hesitant to meet his open gaze. "I wasn't careful about my words and hurt you. I was a bad friend."
He chuckles at that, which draws your eyes back to his own again. "To be honest, I was more hurt because your words made me conclude that you would never like me back. So you literally don't have to apologize at all."
A smile blooms on your face. "Can I kiss it better, then?"
"Oh, you can always kiss it better, baby." Teeth flashing and eyes squinting, Yeonjun nuzzles into your neck, full of giggles that you mirror as well.
Right then, a call of your name resounds across the locker rooms.
WaitâŠ
Fuck.
Changbin!
Yeonjun's wide eyes look at you with questions. You just sigh and shrug your shoulders.
"Back here, Bin!"
"Bin?" Yeonjun raises an eyebrow with his eyes narrowed, making you stifle a giggle.
"Should I try Binnie, then?"Â
He gasps in outrage, threatening to bite into your cheek, while you lean away to escape him, still suppressing your laughter.
Footsteps echo across the hall before a gasp is heard at the end of the aisle you're seated next to. Changbin stands rooted to his place, mouth agape and eyes wide. You've corrected yourself in your seat, but â your seat's still kinda Yeonjun's lap.
"I⊠um?"
You purse your lips in apology. "I'm sorry, Bin. I can't accept your jersey."
"I⊠can see that, I guessâŠ"
To his credit, Changbin doesn't look a lot upset. Just very confused. You decide to try and help him.
"I can, however, get you Song Yuqi's number if you want?"
Instant fireworks explode in his eyes. "What? The â the cheer captain, Song Yuqi?"
"Mm hm. Cheer captain, my friend, my roommate. You know, the one."
"Wow, Y/N, that'd be so cool, man! Thank you!"
And then Changbin's hopping his way out of there without another word. Yeonjun breaks into laughter the moment he's out of sight.
"Poor guy kept asking me if it was okay to approach you and I kept saying we're just friends. He must be so confused, right nowâŠ"
You look at the boy who's still cradling you in his lap. "So. We're not just friends anymore, I hope."
He tightens his grip around your waist, eyes doing that thing where they switch from being rounded to suddenly narrowed and intense. "That depends. Do you kiss your just friends like that?"
You nudge his nose with your own, heart thumping at the intensity of his dark eyes and the reality of your changing dynamics with him. "Only the ones I intend to do more with."
Yeonjun's eyes widen in surprise and then narrow further with mischief. "Is that so, baby? Well, how about I take you to a nice dinner date tonight and then we can discuss what more can happen later, hm?"
"I'd like that very, very much." Swallowing past the lump of emotions that suddenly lodges in your throat, you bite your bottom lip and smile.Â
He smiles back, but then brings a thumb up to tug your lip free. "Don't bite your lip, baby. You've got me to do that for you, now."
And then he kisses you again.
© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.
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what would you say (if i told you i love you)? â charles leclerc
PART: 3? (read part 2 here)
summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what theyâve always known, and something more
warnings. swearing, online hate, weâre getting to the angst now đ«Ł arguments, charles is an idiot, arthur and joris being sick of his shit (but what else is new)
pairings. charles leclerc x arsty!reader
face claim. tara michelle
authorâs note. again, i have no idea how much modern art sells for at auctions so donât come at me if this seems unrealistic đâčïž i also feel the need to clarify that y/n has 2 instagram accounts, one personal and one for art stuff âșïž
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y/nsart auction update! đš
tide - sold for âŹ12,460 erode - sold for âŹ9,500 wave - sold for âŹ20,890 glint - sold for âŹ6,300
this is nothing short of a dream come true for me. the support iâve seen both on social media and at the auction (once again, thank you to everyone who stopped by!) has been beyond anything i ever could have hoped for đ©”
if youâd told me when i was a little girl that one day people would pay for art iâve created, i wouldnât have believed you. iâm so so grateful to have been given this opportunity to do something that i love and to share it with the world đ i canât wait to see what the future holds!
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username congratulations y/n! đđ
*y/nsart liked this comment
leclerc_pascale C'est tout Ă fait mĂ©ritĂ©. N'arrĂȘtez jamais de peindre, ma fille, vous avez un don! / completely deserved. never stop painting, my girl, you have a gift!
y/nsart merci beaucoup đ„č je promets de ne pas le faire x / i promise i wonât
arthur_leclerc congratulations petite sĆur! / little sister
y/nsart merci arth âșïž
y/nsart also, âpetiteâ? iâm literally older than you?
arthur_leclerc but youâre smaller đ
charles_leclerc toujours fiĂšre de toi, ma chĂ©rie â€ïž / forever proud of you, sweetheart
y/nsart đ
charles_leclerc youâre still mad at me? âčïž
y/nsart if you wanted one of my paintings you could have just asked rather than wasting over âŹ20,000. i would have let you have it for free
charles_leclerc i didnât waste anything, y/n
username uh oh mom and dad are fighting đł
username ironic how her highest selling painting was literally bought by her best friend đ
username i guarantee you it would NOT have sold for that much if charles hadnât been bidding
username i donât want to be the one to say it but lately it kind of feels like y/nâs been using her friendship with charles as a way to promote her artâŠ
username as much as i love y/n icl i think you might be right đ„Č
username đ€ąđ€ąđ€ą
username stop using charlesâ fame to try and make yourself relevant! youâll never be good enough for him babes đ„°
username the switch up on these comments from âfansâ is actually so embarrassing
username i know! itâs like as soon as y/n starts becoming successful everyone suddenly decides itâs not because of her own hard work but because of charles đ
username lmao how has she managed to make tens of thousands for that shit she calls art? iâm sensing a clout chaser đ
username this REEKS of jealousy
username these comments make me sick. y/n has proved time and time again how talented and hard working she is. just because charles doesnât know you exist doesnât mean you get to hate on another girl who he ACTUALLY cares about. grow up.
*charles_leclerc and y/nsart liked this comment
username i feel so bad for y/n. no offence to charles but if heâd let the auction play out normally without bidding (although he does have a right to do so if he wants!) then she wouldnât be getting all this hate right now đ
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charles_leclerc back to work đłđ±
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username no y/n like? âčïž
username is y/n with you?
username guys check kym illmanâs instagram! he said charles turned up to the paddock aloneâŠ
username i mean, y/n could be arriving later right?
username if y/n isnât there itâll be the first race sheâs missed since singapore last year đł
username y/n has a life besides charles! just because sheâs not at one race doesnât mean theyâve fallen out or anything âșïž
username but think about itâŠneither charles nor y/n have posted anything to do with each other since the auction a week ago normally they can barely go a day without posting each other đ„ŽïżŒ
username can everyone just stop talking about y/n đ all she ever did was distract him anyway
username forza charles! â€ïž
username heâs not even smiling :((
username because he knows ferrari are shit, itâs probably nothing to do with y/n
username i didnât even mention her? đ
joris_trouche i think youâre missing someone mate
username JORIS??
username HE KNOWS SOMETHING!!
username JORIS PLEASE TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW
username i hate to be the bearer of bad news but y/n just posted. sheâs not at the grand prix đ„Č
yourusername
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replies:
arthur_leclerc oh shit arthur_leclerc what did he do joris_trouche just say the word and iâll smack him for you đ âł yourusername please donât do that đ yourfriend you donât need him, mon amour â€ïž âł yourusername âșïž
you:
did i do something wrong?
we havenât spoken in a week
charlie đ€:
no, y/n
you:
you wonât answer my calls
charlie đ€:
iâve been thinking about what you said
i donât want you to have to deal with hate because of me
you:
so you think ignoring me is the answer?
charlie đ€:
iâm not ignoring you, y/n, iâm trying to protect you
you:
what the fuck?
charles, i donât care what people say about you
charlie đ€:
but i do
isnât it for the best? if we arenât seen together for a while, you wonât get any of the hate
you:
you really donât get it do you
if you think i want you to cut me off to âprotect meâ then maybe you donât know me as well as i thought you did
charlie đ€:
donât say that
i just want everyone to see you the way i do
you:
and i already told you, i donât care what they think of me
i only care what you think
charlie đ€:
why?
you:
iâm surprised you havenât figured it out yet
charlie đ€:
figured what out? [ seen at 4:11PM ]
y/n?
you:
i think itâs best if we donât see each other for a while
bye charles
charlie đ€:
what?! [ seen at 4:13PM ]
y/n come back [ delivered at 4:14PM ]
just tell me what you mean [ delivered at 4:20PM ]
please y/n [ delivered at 4:47PM ]
liked by yourfriend and 1,637,937 others
scuderiaferrari A DNF in Zandvoort for Charles. Now time to refocus ready for Monza đ
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username what the actual fuck was going on with him today?
username i donât know. iâve never seen him so distracted đ
username honestly a rookie mistake. if heâs going to be pulling shit like this then he doesnât deserve his seat đ€·
username itâs just one mistake?? calm down đ
username why do i feel like this has something to do with y/nâŠ
username oh my god will you all shut up about y/n đ theyâre not even dating !!
username and? theyâve been best friends since they were 5 years old. if my childhood friendship broke down iâd be pretty fucking upset about it too
username we donât actually know that theyâve fallen out thoâŠneither of them have said anything
username but isnât it obvious? y/n not at the race, charles being distracted and sulky around the paddock? theyâve definitely argued about something
username charles i canât keep defending you when you do this đđđ
username how this guy has managed to keep his seat with all these mistakes i have no idea đ
username hopefully y/n will be in monza to bring him some good luckđ€
â part 4
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i have no real desire to become a parent any time soon lol but oh, this is making me question everythingâŠâŠ (twt link, sfw fanart) dad!satoru thoughts under the cut đ (gn!reader)
imagine adopting with satoru and he treats your sweet little baby as the most precious thing in the entire world. and to the two of you, they are. you both love this little human so much and with every day, you watch as satoru blooms more and more into his role as father with misty eyes, so happy about the life you've built together.
he learns to braid hair and loves buying clothes and making home cooked toddler food. he takes courses about nutrition and child growth, learning about what vegetables and proteins to use and what to avoid in order to ensure your child the best of the best. he still makes cooking and eating fun, though. you're in awe at how happily baby gojo eats the food, so giddy in their excitement as you feed them.
and oh my goodness, satoru would absolutely spoil your child to no end!!!!!!! getting them all the toys and plushies they want, no matter the price or abundance of things you already have at home. he's also barely able to tear himself away from them if he has to leave for work. (if he even goes to work still lmao i can totqpally picture him quitting everything to solely focus on your home life now, finally living out his dreams as house husband <3333) every time he leaves, he misses the two of you soooo much, regularly checking in and you answer the phone with a slightly exasperated smile but with your heart fluttering at the enthusiasm all the same.
at night, he doesn't mind being the one taking care of your crying baby at all and they love the attention every time, immediately calming down once his arms come down around them to cradle them close. he reads to them, lies down next to them in bed, whispering little anecdotes and fairytales he's made up himself. sometimes you take them into bed with you, making sure they're nestled in safely between the two of you, satoru's finger clasped in their little grasp, and the little darling sleeps soundly through the entire night without making a fuss.
i justâŠ.. there's so much love and warmth in your household and your happy, little family is so perfect it's actually ridiculous sometimes. because it's something neither of you had ever thought a real possibility but now that it's real, you cherish it soso much. ok i need to cry about this now :'))))
author's note âč hiiiii tysm for reading!!!! if you enjoyed: reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated <3
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the locked heart of a celebrini -jack hughes-
part 1; chapter 1: hockey boys
nhl players x platonic abigail celebrini
jack hughes x abigail celebrini
series masterlist
Liked by mackcelebrini, eklund_72, jswayman1 and 13,471 others
abbycelebrini | aiden and mack have always given the best hugs. so thankful for these 2 buffoons đ„°
tagged: mackcelebrini, aidencelebrini
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mackcelebrini love you so much. you're the best big sister in the world đ
| abbycelebrini â€đ
aidencelebrini love you đ
lila.donaghue aiden gives better hugs than mack đ
| mackcelebrini wow. you really know how to break a guys heart, huh đđ
nhl our boys!
| abbycelebrini yes absolutely â€
sanjosesharks always been adorable
_quinnhughes aiden really is a good hugger
| aidencelebrini thanks bro
eklund_72 insider information: macklin is a better hugger than aiden. i said what i said
| user1 how do you know?
| eklund_72 my best friend is their sister :)
user2 who do you think is the better hugger of the two?
| abbycelebrini alright let me just start out by saying that i love them both so much and this was the toughest decision i've ever had to make
| abbycelebrini the best hugger is macklin, but mainly because he's just so much taller than me & his hugs are like a soft, warm envelope đ
| mackcelebrini i love you â€
user3 y'all are so freaking cute đ
canucks aiden is a fantastic hugger
Liked by sanjosesharks, eklund_72, beckettsennecke_ and 22,914 others
abbycelebrini | absolutely love working with my favorite people. the future is teal đđŠ
tagged: sanjosesharks, officialsjsharkie
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sanjosesharks we love having you on our staff đđŠ
eklund_72 can't believe it's been 3 years already đđŠ
officialsjsharkie happy to work along side you too đđŠ
user4 you're so lucky to work with al those good looking guys
user6 every hockey girls dream job is to work with a team
jackhughes come work for the devils. so much better đ
| abbycelebrini not enough money in the world could get me to work for the team you play for đ
| jackhughes ouch sweetheart
| abbycelebrini oh my god. leave me alone
nhl it's such a pleasure having you on the roster
lhughes_06 can't wait to play against your team đ
| abbycelebrini you're an angel lukey đ
lila.donaghue i love your job!
| abbycelebrini i love it too đ
Liked by mackcelebrini, officialsjsharkie, nhl and 36,903 others
abbycelebrini | couldn't be more excited than i am right now. welcome to the team, little bro đđŠ
tagged: mackcelebrini, sanjosesharks
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mackcelebrini happy to be here. always been a dream of mine đđŠ
| abbycelebrini i know. i'm so excited for you! đđ„ł
sanjosesharks we've been collecting celebrini's & we almost have the whole set. welcome aboard, macklin!
eklund_72 congrats bro. looking forward to working with you and hope you're just as awesome as your sister đ
| mackcelebrini even more so đ
| abbycelebrini you wish, mack. but don't you dare try to steal my best friend
| eklund_72 wouldn't ever dream of leaving you đ
user4 so so so happy this is happening. my favorite player on my favorite team â€
user5 look at him smile đ€©
nhl congratulations, macklin.
| mackcelebrini thank you
aidencelebrini congrats bro. looking forward to seeing you on the ice
lila.donaghue such a cutie đâ€
| mackcelebrini â€
| abbycelebrini indeed he is
officialsjsharkie my favorite shark!
user3 superstar in the making đ€©
tags: @captainboomaray @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @callmemana
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Reflections in the Murky Waters
[Short sequel to Murky Waters - Island of the Slaughtered]
TW: panic attacks (??), nightmares, ig horror, mentioned death
"Well, hoping is the only thing we can do right now.. Why not make the most of it? Right Noah?"
-
Cody jumped up from where he lay in cold sweat, tightly gripping at his shirt. His breathing was heavy and he felt tears run down his cheeks. He softly groaned â covering his ears with both his hands, his surroundings were quiet but his mind was loud. He winced at every memory, every thought and every imagery that stayed in his mind
"Another nightmare again?" A soft voice spoke, shuffling in her side of the cabin. "S-sorry.. Did I wake you?" Cody asked, moving his hands away from where they were. "No.." Gwen whispered, moving closer to the other. "I'm having trouble sleeping.. It's like every time I close my eyes I can hear him call my name." She vented, staring at the rotting wooden floor beneath them.
"Yeah.. I get the feeling. I have this.. recurring dream." He confessed, picking at the seams of his jeans. "Yeah? Want to talk about it?" Gwen offered, tilting her head as she looked at the boy. Cody took a deep breath and closed his eyes, images flashing in his mind. "It starts out with me, I walk out of the cabin holding some stuff. And I look out in the forest and he's there.. He's alive." He dragged out that last part with pain in his voice.
"I make my way towards him but.." He stopped for a moment. He hated this part. "E-every damn time I could even get close to him.. He gets pulled into the forest.. A-and it's quick! I ran after him, as fast as I could. Every night I go to bed, I try to save him.. even if it's only in my dream.." He breathed out, his voice getting weaker by the second. He's never confided these dreams with anyone before. He never thought talking about them could be just as painful as having them.
"But no matter how I try and what I do.. I couldn't save him." Tears were streaming down his face and his voice was broken. It was a pain to hear it. "Heh.. There was this one time, I managed to get to him in time. I had his hand in mine. And I was pulling him out of the water but something was also pulling him down. He told me 'Let go because it'll hurt more if you keep dwelling on it' I-I don't know if that was my brain telling me to get over it or.. if it was actually Noah.." Cody finished, he opened his eyes and buried his face in his hands.
Gwen moved her hand to the others back to console him. "It takes time to heal and right now, everyone in this cabin needs it but I think our main focus right now is to survive.. There's no point in healing if you know you'll get hurt again the next day." She sighed in defeat. It was like every slither of hope they had was slowly drifting away and all they had left was their lives. "Surviving? What's the point! There's nothing to live for anymore." Cody cried. "Don't say that!" Gwen scolded, furrowing her eyebrows.
"We promised we'd get out together.. And that's what I had going for me.. It's not like someone's waiting for me at home anyway." He muttered in between sobs, moving his legs closer to his chest. Gwen looked at the other and sighed. "Can you atleast promise me we'll both get out of here? You and me.." She asked. Cody slumped over and rested his chin on top of his knees.
"It's what they would've wanted.." He answered. "You're right.. They're our friends, they only want what's best for us." Gwen smiled, to which Cody returned. They hadn't smiled in a while â they never found a reason to anyway.
Maybe this time the world will be fair.
--
i woke up and immediately thought, "man cody's brain chemistry must've been fucked lmao.. lemme write abt that" HUAHAUAHUA I CRAVE ANGST RAGHH đșđș *feral gremlin noises*
anyway this isnt me shipping gwen and cody, unless u wanna view it that way ig đ€š i just think they'll hv a kind of bond and comfort in one another ngl đ
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Hii, this is my first time requesting something so don't hate on me lol.
Could I get some cuddle headcanons for beel, and mammon?
Much loveee
âcuddling!
âł mammon and beelzebub Ă gn!reader (separately)
âł genre: fluff | wordcount: 500+ | warnings: none
âł notes: sorry this took a while! but i hope you like it. tooth rotting fluff right here đ
âmammon
mammon holds you very tightly
he cuddles you like it's the last time he'll ever get to touch you again. he holds you like he's afraid of losing you, which, to be fair, he really is
most nights, it isn't really a bad thing. he just likes clinging holding onto you a lot, you know? he likes feeling how close you are
literally does not care about cuddle positions. he will drape himself on you and he will roll around the bed like a rolypoly until you both get comfortable
he does have a special place in his heart for when you ask to hold him though
like. you want to hold him đ„șđđ no he's not crying
just try petting him while you're cuddling, he will melt
fingers in his hair, rubbing circles on his back, or even something as sweet and simple as intertwining your fingers. he's near tears already
he is a sucker for sweet nothings. from him or from you. he enjoys whispering into your ear about how much he adores your laugh and your smile and how happy you make him
on the occasion that you guys aren't able to cuddle to sleep at night, he has a little hoard collection of your things he stole very politely borrowed but is reluctant to return
the collection consists of things like your clothes, pillows, and he might take a stuffed toy if you have more than one so he can crush that to sleep instead
okay fine he'll return it if you ask. in fairness he's horrible at hiding things from you
he just misses you a lot đ he loves you a lot
âbeelzebub
warm. so warm
he is soft and sweet and gentle in everything he does about you!!
very much like a teddy bear
if permitted, he will scoop you up in his arms to carry you off to bed at every opportunity
he is also lowkey afraid of rolling over on top of you in the middle of the night and suffocating your face :(
he tries his best to be careful with you
whatever positions you'll end up in depends on you, but if you don't have any preference, he'd like to hold you
having you wrapped in his arms with your head nuzzling into his chest just hits different i guess đ it makes him feel like he's protecting you
he doesn't move around a lot in his sleep though, despite his fear of crushing you so there may be the issue of having up wake him up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom because his grip is too strong
he doesn't use words much, he just likes to hold you against him. just to feel you there
when his head is on your chest, he immediately tries looking for your heartbeat. he isn't particularly sure why, he just likes listening to it
big fan of pressing his face against in the top of your head đ and just nuzzling in general
so many little kisses on your forehead, your temple, a goodnight peck on the lips, anywhere he can reach, really
and he would be elated if you did the same
on the occasion he wakes up because of a bad dream (like in lesson 6(?)) he would very much appreciate it if you held his hand. he might not talk about it in full, but his heart would soar even at such a small gesture
tldr you mean the world to him. by the way
dividers from @clutteredfun
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For the ask game: how about 8, N and đŁ ?
| I Saw You In A Dream |
Acheron x Gn!Reader | Minors do not interact
Warnings: Gender Neutral Reader, No pronouns for reader, Fluff, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Alcohol Consumption, Love at first sight, Substance Abuse (itâs more implied but yea), Soulmate AU (very implied), Reader slaps a guy, Reader gets drunk, 1.4k words.
A/n: This was honestly a good challenge so thank you mootie! Thereâs some themes in this fic that I usually donât write for whatever reason, and it was fun to get out of my comfort zone. If you saw me forget one of the prompts no you didnât. I really struggled with this at some points, so if itâs not the best I apologize đ
Summary: Everyone has a reason for entering the dream, but just what exactly is yours?
Prompts:
ê° 8 ê± âiâm taking you home, and thatâs that.â
ê° N ê± fondness
ê° đŁ ê± an alleyway behind a dive bar
Itâs late at night when you run into who you assume must be an angel. Youâre walking down the streets of Penacony, just another person in that dream thatâs hoping for more out of life, and then thereâs Acheron who bumps into you by pure accident. Your eyes dart to her, seconds away from glaring at her, but as your gaze locks onto hers all that frustration melts away in an instant.
It was almost too good to be true, and if you hadnât been the one to witness it you wouldnât have believed it even for just a second. Thereâs something about her that reels you in. Itâs in her eyes that you find something youâve been missing for so many years. Maybe, itâs the kindness others lack, the love you never received, or something else you hadnât realized just yet. It doesnât register with you at first but as your eyes linger, itâs then that you realize that bumping into her was no accident.
âSorry, didnât see you there.â Acheron says in one of the calmest voices youâve ever heard.
You look at her for a minute before her words really sink in.
âI-Itâs okay, I shouldâve been more careful.â You reply, stumbling over your own words.
She smiles and starts to walk away, but something inside of you snaps. Suddenly you have to know her name. And regardless of how foolish it seems you run straight for her.
"Wait!" She stops what sheâs doing to turn around and face you. "Uhm, I uh didn't get your name?" It comes out more as a question rather than a statement, but you take it in stride once you see Acheron relax and chuckle.
"You can just call me, Acheron." She replies.
It's in that moment that you feel the whole world freeze around you. Your heart beats faster than you felt humanly possible and your eyes glimmer with something new and inviting. Something was alive inside of you.
Even Acheron can't help but feel a little lighter when she smiles back at you. Sheâs unable to deny there is something alluring about you, it pulls her in like the arms of a lover. For a moment she forgets her reason for visiting Penacony. Itâs only for a second that she allows herself to fulfill those childish desires. Sadly, the moment is short lived and before long the both of you go your separate ways.
As weeks pass by you find yourself haunted by that vision of her smile. You wonder and hope that she is also thinking of you, but as hopeful as you seem youâre stuck drinking bitter liquid at some run down bar in Penacony. The only hopefulness you feel in that moment is when you wish for the drink to take its effect, crossing your fingers that soon youâd forget all about her and your lonely existence, but itâs not so simple now is it?
No amount of drinking could make that image of her stupid grin disappear, but why? You barely knew her. The only thing you did know was her name and even that left you down a dead end. You swirl the liquid in your drink and let out a quiet sigh. You couldnât stop thinking about her, and no matter how hard you try to ignore the nagging feeling it just wonât go away.
At some point you figure you just hadnât had enough alcohol in your system and decide on some more, but that was a plan that was bound to backfire, and it only causes more problems than solves them. You somehow manage to get yourself into some trouble and before long you were promptly kicked out of the bar. It wasnât entirely your fault, the guy in question had it coming, but the bartender couldnât really do much after you had slapped him in the face. Regardless of how warranted it was you were sent on your way, feeling even more empty than before.
You stumble as you make your way towards the main street, rubbing the back of your head which had started throbbing for some reason. You assume the alcohol is to blame and try to alleviate it the best you can. Itâs not until you reach the corner of someplace familiar that you spot a figure lurking underneath a lamppost. Curiosity leads you to follow it, squinting to get a close look and jogging forward as it grows further away. If it hadnât been for all that drinking you mightâve caught up with them, but instead you find yourself lost behind what looks to be the same bar you had just left.
âWhat the fuck, man.â You mumble to yourself, pressing a soft palm to your forehead hoping to relieve some of the pain.
You decide out of frustration that it was best to sit down, and thatâs when you hear a voice behind you.
âItâs you.â The voice sounds pleasantly surprised.
You look up and see through your somewhat blurry vision that itâs Acheron, and you canât help but smile like an idiot.
âAcheron.â You sigh happily.
She smiles at you and chuckles softly. âYou sure seem happy to see me.â
You lean forward and reach your arms out for her, totally ignoring how wrong it was to act so over familiar with an almost complete stranger. Acheron smiles and walks towards you and then sits beside you. You lower your arms into your lap, too drunk to feel any of the shame that shouldâve come with that rejection.
âSo,â Acheron starts to say, âWhatâre you doing here?â
That really was the big question for you, but sadly you werenât certain anymore.
âIâm.. not sure.â You admit, feeling a little more sober upon the realization.
Thereâs a brief moment of comfortable silence before you ask Acheron the same.
You turn your head to look at her, taking her question one step further while you wear an expression that is calm yet curious. âWhat about you? Why are you in Penacony, Acheron?â
She looks up to the sky filled with a sea full of stars. âIâll tell you, but not yet.â
You whine in disappointment. âAww, thatâs so unfair.â
The both of you look at each other for a moment before bursting into a quiet symphony of laughter. Resting your hand on the ground beside you, you bump your pinkie against Acheronâs. You freeze up for a second before exhaling a slow, shaky breath. Has breathing always been this hard? You feel embarrassment as you turn to look at Acheron briefly, simultaneously introducing yourself to her pleasing grin.
âSorry, I didnât mean to.â You try to explain. Regardless of your shame Acheron is quick to reassure you.
âThereâs no need.â She pauses to look up at the stars again and smile.
While you both gaze up at the starry sky you find yourself wishing that the moment never ends. It had been so long since youâd felt such an unusual thrill. You werenât sure why youâd experienced so much excitement, but regardless you wanted it to last forever.
âAcheron?â You ask, still looking at the sky.
âHmm?â She replies, now staring at you intently.
âDo you ever miss home?â You asked, but something about your tone told Acheron that this wasnât the real question you wanted to ask.
âSometimes.â She says hesitantly.
You turn to look at her, your eyes locking like two planets aligning within the cosmos. âBut?â
She smiles. âSaw right through me, huh?â
She sounds almost surprised but you brush the feeling off.
âBut.. I think this place has grown on me.â She admits.
Sheâs careful with her words. Suspecting you also had secrets of your own, but she keeps that curiously to herself. You look at her and she looks at you, both of you smile. Something about every exchange youâd had with her felt far too intimate, awakening a feeling from within that only left an ache in your chest. You take a deep breath, clear your mind, and reach out your hand to place a gentle palm atop Acheronâs. Wrapping your fingers around her hand you give her a slight squeeze.
Youâre thankful that she doesnât reject you, but it only makes you want to get closer. A part of you feels like youâve met her before. Why else would you feel so comfortable around her? But if you were going to get to know her, you want to do it right. She deserves that, you thought. And as you look up at the night sky filled with stars, planets, and whatever else lurks in the cosmos; you find yourself at home within that dream.
Perhaps, you loved Penacony after all.
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Okay so I really wanted to talk about emonette's character plus Shadybug and Clawnoir's relationship......... Well this is gonna be a long one so sorry in advance
Okay let's go!!!
So as we saw in the special emonette said that she was constantly bullied by Chloe(guess she doesn't change in any universe đ that damn brat I hate her.... not more than Lila though) and considering how broken she sounded that was not the same bullying that Chloe of this universe did to Mari that shit must've been extreme. However, I donot think that the bullying alone there must've been more aspects which lead her to the path of evil.
Well, while we're at it let's talk about this scene.. God this was so heart wrenching....
When she said that-
"I'm sorry mommy dear, I fine I just- just dropped my sewing kit it's A BIT DAMAGED"
When she said the above line while glancing at her face which reflected on those broken pieces of mirror.... I swear I wanted to cry. Don't you see how poetic this was, while she seemed to be taking about the broken mirror we can clearly see that the one who is broken Is her some one once said
"But that's the irony, broken people, are not fragile....."
So while emonette is completely broken inside she never lets show on her face, no matter how sad, how broken, how miserable she is she keeps moving forward, you wonder why? Well, because it's MARINETTE for crying out loud.... no matter what universe it is our Mari puts on a brave face in front of other, she tends to hide her scars and crying silently not letting others know. Even in the original universe she would have broken much sooner if it was not for Alya finding out her identity. But as emonette said herself she doesn't have loving parents, a best friend and a supportive boyfriend, she was left all alone to suffer without anyone by her side
I still wonder what her wish really was though, knowing her it certainly not power. Could it be something else which she yearns for. Okay so hear me out do you remember what she said to Mari? She said:
"Do you think that it'd be any different from how it is now? Guess what, I don't have your nice little life. The world where I'm from there are no awesome girlfriends to inspire me everyday, no amazing bff, lovable, calm and gentle mom or a boyfriend who doesn't think I'm a total loser...."
These lines broke me though đ...
So my theory is that in that universe Tom is dead and Sabine is abusive( I totally can't imagine that tho) that would explain why she behaved like that with Sabine and she works in her dad's bakery to keep his name.
Oh well I have a worse on........ Both Tom and Sabine are dead and she was adopted by someome who were very abusive(let's consider that after she graduated junior high she moved out of that school and is probably out of Chloe's grasp) they even intended to sell the bakery, the only belonging of her late parents she was left with. That was when she met supreme and he offered her that in exchange of killing her abusive guardian she will have to work with him. So maybe her wish could be returning to those happy times with her parents without Chloe or any suffering. Well I guess it was a bit far fetched but anywaaaays.... đ
Okay let's analyse another scene..... The one where she was reading Mari's diary.
What's interesting about her in Mari's room was that she certainly recognised her room and we can see that she does live in the bakery after all. The reason why she acted that way was to save her identity getting exposed to Claw Noir(which I don't think she cares that much about) or she really wanted to find out if this version of her had a better and happier life than hers.while she pretended that she wanted to look for clues, she went through Mari's personal stuff life her computer, her diary and her other things not because she was looking for clues but because she wanted know what kind of life this MARINETTE had.
Look, she was crying while reading that diary. She wants this life.
Just look at her... Looking into the life of a version of herself she wishes she could be. A world where "THERE ARE AMAZING GIRLFRIENDS TO INSPIRE HER EVERYDAY, AN AMAZING BFF, LOVABLE AND CALM MOM AND A BOYFRIEND WHO DOESN'T THINK THAT SHE IS A TOTAL LOOSER".
You see.. behind that evil mask there is a broken girl who longs to be loved. she wants a shoulder to cry on, hands who would embrace her tight when she is crying. She may look like a total badass who doesn't need anyone but no! that's not the case at all.
Aaaand I think she does have someone like that in her life already, and that person is the one and only CLAW NOIR. ........Even if she refuses to acknowledge it.
So, while she was shutted down, abandoned, bullied and absused her whole life and had no one to helf her up, Claw Noir was there for her,even though he is a total dork who teases her all the time.
Well yeah he is hella rude and disrespects her A LOT, it may look like she may never fall for him normally, but lets consider emonette's circumstances...... As much as we know she doesn't have anyone to rely on, no friends and probably no family. She never had anyone to inspire her. In a life like this...... After she got her miraculous and met Claw Noir, she finally had a reason to live, a reason to fight and a person, she could work together with and trust just a little bit yeah not totally cuz well he does let her fall head on..
In Mari's room when she reads the diary and learns about Ladybug and Chat Noir's relationship, their friendship, their partnership. She does look like she wants that too. (Also this may not apply to everyone but sometimes two people who like each other tease each other a lot....... )
They may fight eachother and not consider each other as partners, but they do make an amazing team. They may not be partners but they've got eachother's back at time of need. Just how Shadybug needs Clawnoir's strength while fighting and how Clawnoir relies on Shadybug's plans.
Also this scene...... While you can say that he is acting this way because he now knows that she is Marinette, the girl he likes.., but we know he is Adrien afterall he may care about Shadybug deep down without realising it and with him now knowing who she really is has realised it.
Just look at him he looks sad when he sees her cry too. He may act like he doesn't care but he actually does. He is like "I am the only one who can hurt her, anyone else who dares to do that must pay....." .
And the scene where she opens up to Mari was just so emotional, I literally started crying. There was pain, sorrow and grief in her eyes. She was suffering and was jealous of Mari,'cuz she thought that she had everything for granted, she thought that she never knew what suffering was like. Her words were so sad. But after Mari made her feel that they really are alike and changed her for better I felt so happy......
And after that when she met (now improved) Claw Noir they felt like they were more to each other and I loved it..
All I want now is a ShadyClaw series.. we need to know what happened after that.... And before they landed in the multiverse.
Well aren't they the cutest.
I wish they become a couple in future.....
Oh well that was a long one.....
Well I had it in mind for quite a long time but couldn't write it because I have exams coming đ. But wanted to finish it before I forgot it. So here I am. I hope y'all liked it though.
Okay let's end it with a quote:.
âYou know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.â
I hope this becomes true for our beloved emoadrinette.
Bug out!đđŸ
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hunger
Musician!R x artist!guitarrist!E
In which Ellie sees how much you want to make your dreams come true so she helps you as much as she can.
but being a rockstar comes with a lot of fun, and a lot of painâŠ
TW: not proof read đđ
CW: mentions of gore, in the future mean Ellie, a bit of angst, some fluff, whiped!Ellie, a bit of loser Ellie lol, mentions of the U.K!! And a lot of fucking cursing, mentions or descriptions of drugs and alcohol, and smoking, a lot lol.
Smut in the future of courseÂ
you couldnât afford to continue with your studies.
not that you cared about college either, you knew you had a greater purpose since you were a child, writing songs as soon as you learned your ABC's, and singing as soon as were out of the womb.
music school was WAY out of budget.
The original plan was the U.K⊠too expensive to get thereâŠ
Then it was of course New York⊠you know the drillâŠ
When you moved to Brooklyn you were expecting to get a closer insight on the music industry.
to be where the majority of your favourite artists grew up in.
However, you were greeted with a guy trying to mug you but getting mugged by an older woman while you flee the scene, and an extremely expensive rent for an apartment the size of a sock.
L shaped. a room, a very small study, a bathroom that didnât had a separation between the shower head and the toilet and the smallest kitchen to ever exist.
However, the view was like no other, the big window pointing to the walls marked in art to the bone, people on the nearby basketball court, playing live music, skating or, of course, playing basketball.
Working two side jobs to pay for your needs and your pretty black cat named tuna.
still, working during day time as a receptionist and playing in ugly shit holes of bars at night wasnât easy to maintain.
You needed a roommate fast.
and as today calls, with Mia storming out of the pub.
bruised lip after fighting a creep, guitar hanging from her shoulder and both middle fingers pointing at you and your band, while walking backwards to the exit and screaming.
"I quit you cunts! this aint going anywhere!"
you also needed a guitaristâŠ
Thatâs when you started to talk with your friends, you needed someone that wouldnât kill you in your sleep, or worse⊠steal all your shit and run away, or even lamerâŠ. that would get you in a pyramid scheme.
So you called your best girl, the most precious sunshine in the world. Dina, who by now was sitting across your bed, feet on your lap while you massaged them.
for fucks sake, poor Dina worked as a hostess in a very expensive restaurant, working on high heels for six hours a day. She needed the relive.
"so I told him that if he ever came closer to me I was going to yank the little three hairs left in his receding balding stupid head of his, smash his skull hard against the pavement and make him clean his brain splattered with his tongue" her soft demeanour and relaxed body contrasting her poison laced words, however, all you could see was flowers and rainbows clouding around her.
"Dina, I need a roommate, like now, or I'll have to go back to Michigan with my dadâŠ" you changed the subject as soon as she stopped talking, her eyes darting to you and her body lifting from the mattress.
She already had two roomies and her rent was way too good to be located in new York, you didnât wanted her to leave such a good opportunity of a place.
"do you perhaps have a friend that would be waling to take the smallest of rooms aka aa fucking 2x2 meters study? And very small bathroom and shower that leaks and I haven't been able to fix, in this very shitty part of Brooklyn and-"
your rant was interrupted by Dina's hand on your thigh, cleaning the tears that were falling from your eyes without you noticing.
 this was your chance to prove to yourself you could make your dreams come true and money wasnât helpingâŠ
"I have a friend⊠I mean she is not like, rich, but she has financial aid in NYU in visual arts, she just enrolled a few months ago and her landlord is a fucking weirdo, also⊠I guess she would like to live the Brooklyn experience?, you know, all Basquiat and shitâŠ" she said almost not paying attention to her own words while looking for her friends contact on her phone.
The pencil Ellie had on her hand was hammering the table in front of her, this lecture too boring for her to even care.
She had to add it to her schedule for extra points after missing too many classes.
Her early morning classes were a pain in her ass, she had to work night shifts to pay her "fucking new York rent" as she told her best friend Jesse.
"bzzz, bzzzzâŠ" the sudden messages scaring the shit out of Ellie, she wasnât dealing right now, so who was messaging her? Both Joel and Jesse knew she was in class, her last hook up stood her up after a night at a party and she had no other friends⊠perhaps an emergency?
She unlocked her phone, hiding it behind her sketchbook, (she was doing homework for another class)
@Dina_beatchlvr
Hey, Ellie, sorry the time.
Jesse told me u in class, but I am.
I am here with my friend, she has this free studio down here in Brooklyn, great location and pretty view from the main window.
@ells69
Sup, umm, I already have an apartment tho?
@Dina_beatchlvr
Yeah, I mean⊠thought you wanted to get away from your landlord as possible? đ€·đœââïž
@ells69
What's the catch? How much? And who is your friend? Iont wanna die before 27 :))
@Dina_beatchlvr
 the catch is that she needs a roomie and I donât want wtvr weirdo in her personal space.
I also happen to know that you need to renew the contract with your creep of a landord, anddddd, the place is smoke and pet frendly :)) (she has a pretty cattt)
Also this her @dyk34u
Think about it ;)
Of course Dina knew what she was doing, she knew that your insta would call her attention.
Hell she knew you was her type. (and the bikini pics work wonders for her plan)
Without a thought Ellie moved in with you, no time to check the actual location before leaving her new York apartment and took off everything with her.
You didnât knew her aside from that one pic Dina showed you from like three years ago, yet you trusted Dina with your life, you knew she wouldnât let you get killed or robed.
Dina and her boyfriend came with Ellie to help with the unpacking, the two being the first ones to enter the "house"
Behind them, a woman mumbling obscenities about how small the house was and how actual of a shit hole this was and how she was tricked to live there.
she looked a bit taller than you, a bit muscular but skinny, freckles dusting all over her face and shoulders as she was wearing a wife pleaser, perky boobs that displayed against the white thin fabric of her shirt and some skinny jeans, however, the most important part.
A guitar case hanged in one of her shoulders.
Perfect.
When her eyes landed on you she shut her mouth.
"sorry, ummhh, I am Ellie, you must beâŠ" she extended her hand to you and you took it while telling her your name.
that evening was rather uneventful. really just helping her unpacking and putting things away, it was your free day at your day job. Still⊠you were playing almost two shows every night.
You weren't the best at playing guitar, you and the girls were enduring these shows.
all of you looking for a new guitarist.
Holding auditions with pretentious shits or men denigrating your job for being "a bunch of dykes in a whiny band"
So, a few hours prior to going to your first gig of the night you took all of your courage to ask her.
"from one to ten, how good are you at playing? Guitar, i meanâŠ" Ellie was sitting across from you, finishing to place the headboard.
Her sight puncturing to your face as soon as you asked that.
She took it a s a challenge, squint eyes eyeing you up and down, a small smirk glowing.
"oh I am shit, a two out of ten if you count one being a new born."
her hand grabbing for her guitar nearby, you laughed at her dry sarcasm, although your laugh was short lived as soon as she started to play.
veiny and tatted hands strumming and playing a jazz melody.
her fingers waltzing smoothly like she was just a breeze on top of the strings, making it look so easy.
her eyes connecting with yours, her face relaxed and a pretty shit eating grin all over her features.
She didnât knew how you manage to convince her to go and watch you guys play, (only at the first pub of the night.) even though she had a test the next day seven am sharp.
She was in a trance as soon as you started to sing, lyrics soul puncturing and music enticing, easy to hear, hard not to take heartfelt.
The way you moved on stage, your body contorting and dancing, music guiding you like a puppet, she wanted to see you like this for ever, it was like a spell put on her, nothing else in her mind, clouded completely by you.
You.
She knew you would make it big.
you mention coming here to make your goals come true and she didnât had a doubt you would make it.
I mean, Look at you! Everyone around you bewitched.
When the first gig ended Ellie couldnât think of anything else, she needed to be there when you make it big, to be beside you.
"what'ya think?" you asked her out of breath, clothes tight on your body (she was looking at your tits) from all the sweat while you took your hair up.
The veins on you neck popping out, flush skin shimmering with sweat.
"can I kiss you?"
She wasnât thinking at all, only you all over her, you.
your mind thought a hundred thoughts in less than a second, pros and cons and then landed on "we are in 2023 girl, a kiss is like a hug now a days" right? Like, this is only friendly and of course I wouldnât make anything weird? Right?
RightâŠ
So you took her by the hair and pressed your lips to hers.
Her strong hands groping your ass and yours moving to her waist to feel her closer, caressing the small of her back, open mouths and the taste of liquor from Ellie, clashed with the taste of cigarettes form you.
She sent you a message when she arrived to the apartment, after thatâŠ
You didnât saw her when you arrived.
you didnât saw her when she left.
when you left she wasnât home already.
you didnât saw her when you came back from day work.
So you went to the store, out of nowhere craving noodles to eat before you could sleep a bit and then go to play.
Certainly no to entertain your wondering mind, Ellie fogging all of it, like you where walking down an infinite path down Ellie lane.
The growing anxiety quivering in you head, what if she thought it was a mistake?
However, when you came back you saw Ellie sitting.
crossed legged on the living room.
guitar on.
and a bunch of papers scattered around her.
She was learning your songsâŠ
let me know if you wanna be on the tag list
remember that my requests are open <3
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I'm always thinking about waking up next to abby
leaving kisses on her freckled back, on her shoulders, her arms, her half-open mouth đ
honestly I would gladly hump her ass too
morning pee? âïž morning hump? â
ïž
oh to wake up next to Abby Anderson đđđđđ„șđ„șđ€€đ€€ (sorry for the delay anon, it turned out to be a drabble đ„ș)
[CW: established relationship, somno (they talk about it, though), fluffy, they're oh so in love and living together, (MDNI)]
Sunlight makes you squirm a little bit, even though the window is behind you and it's linda early in the morning. The sleepiness still creeps into you, but you can't go back to your dreamland, got a lot of stuff to do today.
Still, looking at your girlfriend's back you think that keeping in bed a little bit longer is okay, right?
Her freckled, bare skin calls for your touch. You press light kisses there, fingers crawling softly from her lower-back to the side of her body, caressing with so much devotion.
It feels so good to wake up next to her, knowing she's okay, she's with you, she's safe. Sometimes it's just overwhelming to go day by day scared of what could happen to her during patrols, and you know she feels the same. Chest aching so tightly everytime one has to leave without the other, concern messing with your head; but right now, you're just happy you can wake up next to her.
Filled with glee and comfort, you kept kissing her back and strong shoulders. Your hand slipped to her abdomen and then you felt her holding it.
"Morning, sweet girl", her voice sounded so good even though she just woke up. You smile against her muscles, kisses going up her shoulder to her neck. "Woke up extra clingy?"
"I'm just thinking how much I love you", you whisper against her ear, seeing the smirk on her lips. She gets all blushed with your words and you find it so cute. "Good morning, love"
"What did I did to deserve this amazing greeting?", she turns, laying on her back and pulling you to get on top of her. Her sleepy face is so cute, you just want to fill her with endless kisses.
"Well, first, you are an amazing woman. So strong, helpful to others, who cares about people. And so, so skilled. You're also the best. The most pretty woman in the whole world. And also makes me cum a lot", you kiss her at each topic, having her chuckling and holding you by the waist. "And you're so smart. And I love you a lot", you finish with inumerous pecks on her lips.
She smiles lazily, caressing your sides.
"I love you too, babe. So much", she murmurs, looking at you so attentively that it makes you realize again how lucky you were for having her.
The days you both are in a hurry, the morning kisses are brief or distributed along the routine while you're dressing to go eat. You'll be kissing in the shower, picking clothes, before leaving the dorm.
There are mornings coated in heat and desire. Once you talked about it, the conversation was calm and careful to boundaries, and in the end you both agreed on giving free access to each other if in your sleep. So from there on, sometimes you wake up with her hand between your legs or on your tits, her mouth giving you wet kisses along your skin while she takes your scarce sleeping clothes.
When you're too worked up and being the big spoon... You can't resist but to hump her ass or thighs. She wakes up in the middle of the process, chuckling and grabbing your leg, enjoying your small moans and whimpers due to the sensations. It's lazy and fueled by the sudden desire that creeps into you seconds after you open your eyes, warm core and needy, foggy mind.
"Someone woke up ready for me", she said once, turning around as soon as you reach the climax. "You must be extra wet right now...", her addicted kisses on your neck makes you squirm, body sensitive but oh, so welcoming to her.
"Dreamed about you", you whisper, easy smile after that high.
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TWST Book 7 Chapter 6 spoilers and reactions ahead
.
.
You know, through all the updates people have been wondering "where is OB Malleus? is he seeing the dream too? why is he not interfering despite our group being 'awake'? does he even know about all of this?" it might seem crazy what I'm about to say-
This update started with a banger giving us Baul knighting Sebek and giving him an armor that's just like his after fighting off the Silver Owls together
Btw I'm currently on a mission of stealing all the gel in NRC to keep Sebek from putting his hair up again. If you care.
Silver carrying an injured Lilia on his back while Yuu and Grim look after the egg instead of leaving him behind like he asked. I'm ok I'm ok.
Sebek got to show off his UM training. I'm so proud of him đ„č
They killed my hot wife.
Fighting as Meleanor vs The Knight of Dawn felt so sick and twisted knowing what the outcome was.
FUCK THE SENATE. TF YOU MEAN "Filthy bat" "Don't touch Malleus" "get out of the capital and don't show up here again" I'm genuinely upset, what the fuck leave Lilia alone đ
Maleficia's magic was not helping with hatching the egg, and touch and love is more effective so of course the responsibility falls on Lilia. Huh, who would've thought-
Lilia and the egg communicating. Did y'all see that. Is anyone else being totally normal about it.
Meleanor knew what she was doing when she left her child to Lilia.
Also what do you mean his own grandmother couldn't provide him the love he needed to hatch? đ
Lilia's numerous travels around the world were all to find something to help hatch the egg. And he got discriminated against by both humans and fae everywhere oh I'm so sick-
Egg!Malleus feeling lonely even before hatching. Lilia being the only one who hears him crying. Lilia running to him despite it being dangerous. đ
HE DISCOVERED HIS SIGNATURE SPELL WHILE SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO HATCH THE EGG. THE SPELL THAT BEST REFLECTS THE ESSENCE OF HIS SOUL IS THE ONE HE USES FOR BOTH MALLEUS AND SILVER. Shaped like a father fr.
Oh so the egg seems to gain strength only whenever Lilia shows up around it? What a coincidence I wonder what could this mean
Lilia's VA did a phenomenal job. I started ugly crying too. The 200 years were worth it to Lilia đđđ
*Silver voice* I'm sure we were all wondering, "if these dreams are supposed to be happy then why have we seen nothing but pain and suffering so far?" well, it turns out Malleus being born is his happiest moment in life.
not a single thought behind that baby's eyes (he's 1 minute old)
Leona was right he sure *is* a lizard
not the senate suddenly praising Lilia as a hero đ I haven't forgotten what y'all said earlier.
Oh shit OB!Malleus is back. I got so caught up in the euphoria of seeing Malleus' birth that for a moment I forgot about overblots.
Malleus has his mom's looks and his dad's voice according to general Lilia
OB!Malleus is absolutely pissed at his grandma and the senate. Good for him.
Malleus offering Lilia a dream where Meleanor and Levan are alive...
If anyone is wondering "how are we supposed to win a battle against OB!Malleus?" the answer is: you don't. We only survive đ (for now ig)
Silver is able to secure the entire group in his arms. So normal about it haha.
SON IS BACK.
IDIA IS AWAKE LET'S GO GAMERS LMAO
we have reached 100 chapters. I can't wait to see what Idia's victory strategy is going to be
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