#get him away from that 13 year old

[cellsshapedlikestars]

not me reading the jorah mormont awoiaf page and whispering 'this guy suuuucks' every few seconds

[ibetittering]

Realized I haven't made one of these in a while 😋

(Part 19)

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

whos up crying abt how much five hargreeves (s1-s3, s4 is NOT real) loves his family

[kittiegun]

the hatzgang are drawn with disgustingly big heads and im tired of hiding it.

seriously the shapes are so clashing and dont fit together at all (not to mention, inaccurate?? super inaccurate)

robert looks like a thumb. his head is shaped like a thumg LOOK AT THIS SHIT.

HIS FACE IS AN OVAL YOU ASSHEADS!!!

[kiki-strike]

Thinking abt alcoholic Zuko always makes me so sad which is WEIRD bc im very mistrusting of anyone who isn’t at least a little weird about at least one substance. Like meeting people who don’t have any addict tendencies at all is always (narrows eyes) what’s wrong with you….

But thinking abt ZUKO as an alcoholic is like wait no he has to be happy!!!!! Despite the fact he totally is one if not since on the wani then once he becomes fire lord

[bunkernine]

society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

[ayyponine]

not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....

[webawee]

Okay this is kinda stupid but my dad made me a twitter account when I was like 10 or so, and today I, seeing how much of a dumpster fire twitter is now, decided to log back in and see what was going on.

So, while I was on there I figured why not change my age to what it actually is because you only have to be 13 to have an account, right?

✨ w r o n g ✨

And now my twitter account is locked because I wasn't 13 when I first created the account. Lmao, am I supposed to be mad? Do y'all even know how many kids lie about their age to create an account and then change it later on when they are of age? Every single kid I knew back in school.

This is kinda entertaining. I mean, kids shouldn't be on social media under 13 anyway, but there are probably millions that are, and if their accounts are being shut down when they decide to stop lying, guess what? that's gonna make them lie even more, dipshit.

[wixterirox]

when people interpret my favorite character wrong

[kakusu-shipping]

Fairy Tail Ships

Some Rando came at me on my main for a ship I hadn’t even said a single word about on a post about a character not involved in said ship so now I’m just gonna write down all my Fairy Tail ships unprompted out of pure spite

Multi and Probably Problematic shipping a-hoy under the read more be wary!

Okay so as every other of this kind of post will plainly spell out I always have One Guy who is just the Ship bicycle. This character could kiss literally anyone and I would be more than happy. Typically they in fact do.

For Fairy Tail, it’s Gajeel Redfox

You would not believe your eyes if my first fucking Gajeel ship was Gajeel/Gajeel. I love Edolas Gajeel and up until that point Earthland Gajeel interacts with pretty much no one positively. I fully believe he hard made out with himself. First kiss. First time? The full shebang. Canon as far as I think.

Following that IMMEDIATELY is Gajeel/Lily. My god. My God let’s just give Gajeel a beefy cat man to homoerotically throw around. “That’s My Cat” I love him he’s so fucking stupid he makes out with Lily on the regular.

Gajeel/Levy is probably the best developed canon ship in Fairy Tail and that’s really not saying much but I think they’re cute. The only caviot is Levi pegs him. I’m sorry, Gajeel cannot be a top.

I think Gajeel/Natsu is funny as hell they’re so violent. Gajeel thinks Natsu’s the dumbest man he’s ever met. They don’t kiss they bite.

Gajeel/Laxus is just as funny but just because they both think they’re the smart one in the relationship.

After that all I might loose a bit of steam but Romance in this show is rarely interesting but here’s some of my takes anyway;

Laxus/Freed is always a free sail Freed pining from the beginning Laxus having no idea what his own feelings are until some time mid season 7. Laxus taking everything casually and Freed over thinking every little piece of affection he gets. They’re an uncommunicative mess and I love them.

I like Juvia/Grey not because I think it’s a well balanced and fleshed out canon romance, but because I love Juvia and want her to be happy and think Annoyingly Horny Stalker and Too Tired For This Shit is the funniest trope. Also Transfem Lesbian Grey, Demiromantic Bi/Pan Juvia

Speaking of Stalker/Obsession ships, Lucy/Flare??? My god I had not-antagonist Flare for 3 episodes and I will never let her go. Red headed Lesbian raised by a Village of Giant Men. Get yourself a blondie GF you deserve it.

Another Stalker/Obsession because I’m just gonna keep on goin; Erza/Sho???? Hello??? That was one baby me was entranced by. Love when the stalker is also the bottom. I love Sho I think he’s so cute, I think his obsession with Erza is so cute, I think his Sister Complex is so cute.

More Erza tops a little sibling!! Erza/Kagura!! What is it about Erza that gives everyone who meets her an Incest Kink?? I love her. I love Kagura she’s SO pathetic after her angst over Jallal is swept under the rug for no reason (no I’m not salty about that)

SPEAKING of Kagura; Kagura/Millianna is very cute I am on board. The Lesbian Kagura content for those without the taste for Sister Complex.

Elfman/Evergreen is so funny to me because this is a Bisexual man with a huge preference for Men who really REALLY wanted to fall in love with a Man and be Married Manly Men who grow into Old Men together but no. He just HAD to catch feelings for The Prettiest Girl in his guild. He’s so mad about it. Whole ass that “But I am in love with a MAN. RIGHT NOW.” meme but gender swapped.

Gildarts/Cana is so freaken good that YuGiOh Episode with Scorpio during the Eclipse Spirit Arc where he says he wants her to call him Daddy and she says she Would if he’s Been Around More you two I am going to scream don’t talk like that we’re trying to d-d-d-d-dddddDUEL

Also Eclipse Scorpio’s crush on Cana is cute as hell I love him he just wanted to play YuGiOh with a Hot Girl and she deserves a little boyfriend like him I’m all for them

Seven steps back tho the BEST Lucy ship, hands down, is Lucy/Taurus and I am SO INCREDIBLY SAD I’m alone on this! T4T Lucy/Taurus is my EVERYTHING!! Give him a SMOOOOOOOOOCH!!

Panther Lily/Samuel is so good to me another little freak with an unwarranted Incest Kink I love Samuel so much he’s so weird I want him to come back so badly please bring the little weirdo back so he can call Lily Big Brother some more for no god damn reason

Panther Lily and Edolas Coco is Very Cute and if it wasn’t for Gajeel being so unabashedly into Panther Lily that whole arc I would have appreciated it more.

Speaking of Exceed X People ships, Sting/Lector are like!!! Super good!!! Exceptionally solid I love them both so much!!

Rouge and Frosch as well but I feel like they’re super out of balance. Rouge is infantalizing Frosch and/or Frosch is not an adult in the world of Exceeds

Five steps back again because none of my thoughts are ever organized Second Best Lucy Ship is Lucy/Loke I just love a lot of Lucy/Celestial Spirit ships but this one This One is so cute I love how extra romantic he gets after going back to being Leo one of few ships I could actually see tying the knot and getting married.

Fuck it I’m just gonna keep talking about Lucy’s celestial spirits; I think Aquarius was Lucy’s first love and also her second mommy I don’t think they ever dated but to Lucy the love she felt for Aquarius was both Familial and Romantic when she was little. She claims Aquarius as her first kiss, despite it being a motherly peck when she was like 6.

Lucy/Virgo is super funny and I am positive it has Doujins out there made by men for men that I Do Not Want To See. I am putting the Asexual label on Virgo and shipping it from there.

Aquarius/Layla Lesbian Lovers in the Historical way. Layla had her Good Friend Aquarius come stay with her while her husband was away on business. They were Very Good Friends.

More spirit stuff Grey/Eclipse Cancer is so fucking funny Cancer literally opened Grey’s heart, they Yuri On Iced around with a Rainbow Gradient following them. Grey is repressing this so hard.

SPEAKING of Grey repressing he is Gay; Grey/Sugarboy??? Am I obsessed with the Catholic Arc of Fairy Tail? Yes. Yes I am. But Edolas Sugar Boy as well. Grey has such a Thing for your average stereotypical Gay Man and he is doing everything in his power to ignore it. I think he wants to be one of them.

Ultear/Meredy is SO FREAKEN CUTE. Mother/Daughter *chefs kiss*. They would both die for the other to live and they attempt it multiple times. Am I made Ultear eventually succeeded? Yes. Extremely. Get back here dammit you’ve already asked and the answer was No.

Lucy/Michelle more Stalker/Obsession more Sister Complex with a little dash of objectophilia post Catholic Arc. I love how the Fairy Tail anime just dropped Every inanimate object has thought, emotion, will, goals, and feelings but is unable to act upon them or even knows they have such feelings without forbidden magics and just Expected me to be Okay with that. I am not. I never will be. Michelle wants to fight Aquarius for taking Lucy’s first kiss right in front of her.

Wendy/Sherria are exceptionally cute. I don’t have much to say I just think they’re cute and wholesome and should be girlfriends.

But ALSO I think Mest/Doranbolt’s crush on Wendy is very cute I bet he beats himself up over liking a little girl. He’s her first kiss, she initiated it.

ALSO ALSO Doranbolt/Lahar is canon and I’m SO MAD THEY KILLED LAHAR LIKE FOREVER MAD. My Buddy Cop to Lovers...

Macao and Wakaba are a “Didn’t realize I was Gay and In love with my best friend until AFTER I was married to a woman” pair and I love them. They keep their relationship a secret. Make out in the guild’s storage room. Mira’s caught them once or twice and promises to keep their secret, so long as she never catches them with their pants down that close to the cheese again.

Levi/Lucy are a cute Best Friends to Girlfriends kind of ship. No one would notice if they started dating because they’d act the exact same as before 

But also Cana/Lucy?? Same energy in that no one would really know they’re dating until Cana gets stupid clingy/protective when other people hit on Lucy.

Mavis/Zera is under appreciated I know Zera isn’t real and is just a projection of Mavis’ loneliness and isolation but also she’s Mavis’ gay thoughts a WLW side. Her self love and care in personhood. They kiss.

Canon evil lesbian queens Kyoka/Seilah is a lot more than I expected out of this program and I am so here for it!! Go girls go!!!

Dimaria/Brandish as well, evil lesbians having a bad spat and taking it out on the entirety of Fairy Tail is very funny to me. They are toxic and horrid and I hope Brandish gets away from her.

Kamika/Cosmos, while not evil, are just as canon lesbians and I love that for them. Also Lolicon Cosmos.

There at the start of the War Arc when Toby and Millianna were walking into war together and he’s looking at her with a flush on his face little guy got puppy love and I!!!! Am all about it!!! She’s a lesbian for sure but she’ll make an exception for him. I don’t think he knows what a gender is anyway

I think that fact that Ichiya and Nichiya most certainly Fuck is not discussed enough in this fandom this man fucks his own Fursona I need more people to speak of this.

Okay now my take on the Big Ships and Canon Shit because I actually didn’t talk about them above I focused on what I’d actually like to see.

Natsu/Lucy is. Fine. I saw someone say a headcanon that Natsu thought they were dating the whole time and I love that. ADHD Natsu who decided he liked Lucy and was going to ask her out but Forgot and then Forgot he Forgot and proceeded to think they were an official couple for 9 more season.

Natsu/Lisanna is also pretty okay. I love baby love, I love them as kids playing house playing marriage awkward dancing and kisses on the cheek and holding hands. They were eachother’s first love and that means so much to me there’s very little that could ever make you forget your first love. (Side note I think at this age Elfman had a crush on Natsu but didn’t say anything sense Lisanna also liked him)

Erza/Jellal bothers me. Maybe I just don’t like Jellal as a character enough yet but not only is he Not In The Guild like every other main series ship, he also is on some pretty thin ice on being an Antagonist or not. But, like above, he was Erza’s First Love and that really is kind of a Big Deal, being actually In Love for the first time. I think they could heal, and I’d love to see that actually play out. If anyone has any fics where this is a Real Issue that they talk about and face I would actually love to read them.

Mavis/Zeref is also pretty. Okay. I don’t like it, I think it’s pretty forced, I think the fact that they had a child when Mavis died after their first kiss is a fucked concept everyone’s avoiding despite it being the most interesting part of the ship. He’s her pathetic little meow meow, she’s his last shred of sanity decaying in his arms as he desperately plants kisses over her small prepubescent body. It’s VERY Dead Dove and everyone is avoiding it.

Happy/Carla... is this one people actually ship or just something in the background? Honestly Happy feels so much Younger than Carla most of the time despite them probably being the same age. He just acts like a little fool. I don’t like it. I think Carla deserves better. And is also a Lesbian.

Now for the end of my list a collection of characters I don’t have ships for but would Really Like To because I Love Them as characters and just want them to smooch somebody (would also love X reader fics with them)

Bickslow

Warren Rocko

Reedus Jonah

Tono Rabbits

Goldmine

Boze

Jura Neekis

Yuka Suzuki

Erigor

Lapointe

Dan Straight (The fucking guy of all time)

Toma Fiore

Jacob Lessio

Nadi

Yajima

Capricorn

Horologium

Deneb

[theaceofarrows]

A Robin tradition

-

13 year old Jason: Dick, I need to borrow the Batmobile! Roy needs help with his English homework, Alfred is busy, and the Batmobile is the fastest car we have!

18 year old Dick: [is mad at Bruce and knows full well that this is going to piss him off] Say no more

[Dick gets the keys]

Dick: I'll hide the keys to the motorcycles and the plane. When Bruce tries to call you, just ignore him

Jason: [running to the car] Thanks, Dick! You're the best!

-

[Years later]

Tim: Jason please help me! I need the Batmobile to save Kon from Kryptonite Zombies!

Jason: 'Kay, try not to hit any pedestrians

Jason: [takes the Batmobile keys out of his pocket tosses them to Tim]

Tim: You just had them in your pocket...?

Jason: Zombies, Tim

Tim: Right! Thanks! [Runs away]

-

[Even more years later]

Damian: Drake! I require the Batmobile. Connor needs assist-

Tim: [already tossing Damian the keys] Cool, see ya later

Damian: [already running to the car] Thank you!

[i-love-ptv]

Stacy’s Mom Has Got It Goin’ On ˚̣̣ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣

Pairing: Husband!Rafe Cameron x Soccer-mom!Wife!Reader

It’s not easy being a soccer-mom, especially when dads hit on you at every game as if you’re not married to Rafe.

Wc: 1,596

Fluff, Protective Rafe making an appearance, kinda pushy guy (idk what to say)

An: I’ve really wanted to write a fic based on this song, and this idea randomly popped into my head so! Am I using the names I wanna name my kids? Yes, yes I am.

Not proofread tbh

Feedback always appreciated lovelies!! xx

“I’ll be back, ‘mkay doll?”

You hum in acknowledgement, eyes peering back at the field after looking up.

Your husband, Rafe leant down and places a firm kiss on your forehead.

“Yeahhh, Daddy’s gonna be back, baby.” Rafe coos at your two year old, who was sitting on your lap, babbling freely while peering at him with her big doe eyes.

Rafe walks off the bleachers; in search of the concession stand to buy food for the three of you.

You brush your hand over your young daughter’s head, making sure her somewhat oversized hat is still covering her head entirely. Her hand wraps around your index finger.

It was oddly humid today, if you continued moving, you’d break a slight sweat. You can't even imagine what your daughter -Stacy must be feeling, running around on the large grassy field under the beaming bright sun.

You were proud of your baby girl though, nonetheless. And so was Rafe, of course.

You shout loudly when you notice the game is about to start, bellowing out a “Go Stacy!”

Stacy’s eyes easily found yours, for you and Rafe would always sit in the same spot on the bleachers.

Her eyes were slightly wide due to your shout, despite you and Rafe always cheering for her during her games.

She’s motioning for you to ‘shh’, putting her fingers to her lips before getting into her position.

“Which one’s yours?” You hear to the left of you, the unknown voice makes you tear your eyes away from the field.

You smile shortly at the unfamiliar man next to you, “Number 22.”

You can’t help but notice how he’s rather scruffy looking, an odd contrast to your upkept husband with his neatly buzzed hair.

“Mine’s number 13.” He says, flashing his teeth at you.

You gasp and shoot up a little, making you look down at your daughter on your lap. “Valerie’s yours? Oh she’s just the sweetest!”

The man chuckles, looking deeply in your eyes. This makes your eyebrows raise, slightly in confusion, but mostly in discomfort.

He hadn’t done anything out of the norm, you’d randomly talk to the other moms around too, but something about him made you uncomfortable.

“My name's Brandon, and yours?”

You introduce yourself briefly, before turning back towards the game.

His eyes dart to your left hand, looking for a ring, for any indication that you belong to someone else. He smiles sharply when he finds your fingers bare. This goes unnoticed by you.

Little does he know, you do have your ring on, just around your neck.

Your biggest fear was your youngest accidentally pulling off your ring, resulting in you losing it. Or, even worse: it pokes her eye or something of that nature.

You suppose you could be considered a ‘Helicopter-mom’ at times, simply going to the extremes to make sure your kids are happy and healthy at every point in time.

Rafe is the exact same way, maybe even a little worse. But you knew he was just protective, he loves this life that he has with you, since he had no idea the two of you would’ve been together for so long.

You had started dating Rafe when you were 18 and he was 19. It was good for the first few months, disregarding the few arguments that you had. But then, you had caught Rafe doing cocaine.

You don’t think you’ll ever be able to shake the look on his face from your memory.

You weren’t supposed to be at the party, you said you were busy filling out college applications.

So when he was mid-line, and he saw you standing there all dolled up, watching him with glossy eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces.

You weren’t supposed to find out, he wanted to keep this away from you, to keep you close to him.

He promised that he would try and stay sober for you, but eventually he’d give in every time the opportunity was in front of him. This resulted in several arguments, and surprisingly, a break up.

But things are different now. You both are in your 30’s, you got married, and of course, had two beautiful babies together.

Rafe knew he’d be crazy to fuck things up now, when he has the perfect life right in front of him.

Speaking of which; you’re really starting to wonder what the hell is taking him so long just to get some goddamn hotdogs and drinks.

You’re bouncing your knee anxiously, which makes your daughter giggle. You wish she wasn’t finding this amusing, but you know she can’t help it.

“Well who’s this cute girl, huh?” The man coos, tickling your daughter’s side.

“Her name is Noelle.” You huff, your mood quickly

shifting to do this stranger touching your daughter.

He lets out another chuckle, you wish you never had to hear it again. “Sounds like you’re quoting Teenage Dirtbag to me.”

You give him a pointed look, you’re really getting sick of his pestering. “That’s where I got it from.”

Abruptly, the crowd starts cheering madly. You look around and see Stacy's team celebrating briefly; they had just scored a goal.

You cheer and clap, grabbing Noelle’s chubby hands and making her raise her arms wildly while giggling with her.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe we could-” Before Brandon could finish his sentence, none other than Rafe Cameron comes stomping up the bleachers, huffing and puffing angrily.

He sits down and sighs, “God, I’m sorry babe. The line was so long! I swear I’m going grey right now.”

“And I missed the goddamn play!” Rafe exclaims. He looks over at you and immediately goes quiet once he sees those wide baby eyes that look at him curiously.

“Da?” Noelle mutters, reaching her tiny hands towards Rafe’s larger ones.

“Yeah. Da’s here babygirl, do you want your food? Huh sweet girl?”

Rafe hands you your food, setting his food aside so he can put Noelle in his lap. He begins to split half his hotdog in pieces for her.

You glance to the left, you notice Brandon looking like a fish out of water.

Rafe is the CEO of one of, if not the biggest business company around. And Brandon had just borderline harassed his wife, who was holding his child.

Brandon sneers at the two of you in silence while the game continues, nearly boiling at the fact that he couldn’t have you.

Your head is laying on Rafe’s shoulders, you’re rubbing circles on Noelle’s shoulder as she settles down.

“Everything alright babe?” Rafe asks, trying to peer down at your face.

You untuck your necklace with your wedding ring from your shirt, fiddling with it. “Yeah, now that you’re here Ray.”

There’s silence between the two of you for a few seconds.

“…What does that mean?”

You hesitate to answer, but you do regardless, “Nothing! It’s just uh..That guy next to me, was kinda like hassling me I guess.”

This makes Rafe straighten his back.

“He do somethin’ to you doll?” Rafe questions in a whisper. You know you have about 30 seconds to try and calm him down before he’s banned from every soccer game left in the season.

“No, okay? I’m fine, it’s cool. I need you to calm down Ray.”

Rafe’s nose is flaring, “What about Ellie? Did he touch her?”

You feel your throat closing up, your heart is damn near pounding out of your chest.

You don’t say anything to Rafe, but that look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.

You grab his bicep, trying to keep him grounded. Even though he’s changed, some parts of him haven’t.

Rafe speaks lowly in your ear, but not too much to frighten you in any way. “I’ll take care of it, okay? Don’t worry y’pretty little head about it.”

Rafe presses a firm kiss against your cheek, then presses a softer one to your lips.

After 30 more minutes, and 2 more goals, Stacy’s team wins.

You and Rafe cheer loudly, letting out “That’s our baby girl!”

You meet Stacy at the bottom of the bleachers, holding Noelle in your hand as the littlest claps her hands between Stacy’s face.

You’re too busy congratulating your daughter to notice Rafe pulling Brandon aside while his daughter, Valerie is off talking to her friends.

Rafe puts a firm hand on his shoulder, “Hey man.”

Brandon lets out a nervous laugh, “Hey there, Rafe Cameron, right?”

“Yeah, let’s keep this short. I better not see or hear you talking to my wife again, do you hear me? I don’t give a shit what happened.”

Rafe continues shortly, “And keep your fucking hands to yourself, if I find out you touched my either of my daughters again, I swear to God himself I’ll put you under.”

The two men are holding eye contact, one looks with confidence and borderline rage, while the other looks with fear.

Rafe walks down the bleachers, meeting you and your girls.

“You were amazing out there sweetheart!” Rafe smiles while pulling Stacy into a bear hug.

“Jesus dad, you’re crushing me!” Stacy laughs with a slight wheeze.

Rafe ruffles her hair and puts his arm around your neck.

“All good to go?”

You nod your head, and with that, the four of you begin to walk to Rafe’s parked car.

Rafe realizes that this isn’t the first time you’ve been hit on at a soccer game, or anywhere in fact. And this definitely won’t be the last.

Cause everybody’s in love with Stacy’s mom.

[catgrandpa]

Gotham has always been weird, so when the groundskeeper at the cemetery noticed the Wayne kid’s plot was disturbed, he just chalked it up to more of the same ol’. Alright, so ‘disturbed’ may be a tad too light of a word, but what’s an empty grave in the grand scheme of Gotham? God knows in a city like this one, they could use all the burial room they could get. He figured he’d just jot it down on the website and hope nobody noticed for a while.

Too bad he didn’t account for the 13 year old boy in Bristol who periodically checks the cemetery’s website when he’s feeling particularly lonely.

Plot Removed.

Tim Drake stared at the two words under the heading for Jason Todd’s plot number. Removed? What do they mean ‘removed’? They can’t just remove a plot? That’s a person down there! That’s Robin down there! You can’t Remove Robin!

Calm down. Deep breaths. Assess the situation.

Robin has been dead for 5 months and 14 days. There is no reason for a grave to be removed that early, especially one of a member of such an affluential family. Chances are likely it’s a simple clerical issue. He can call first thing in the morning and make them aware of the mistake. He can have it all fixed in 5 hours.

Just a phone call.

In 5 hours.

…

Tim hates talking on the phone almost as much as he hates waiting.

Well it won’t be the first time he’s snuck out to head to Gotham proper at 1am. It can’t even really be considered sneaking out if there’s no one home to catch you.

Buses stop running at 2, so he layers a couple sweaters under his coat and grabs his best running sneakers so he can comfortably make the trek back.

Just a quick trip to settle his nerves. Maybe get a few shots in if he spots Batman, but really he just wants to see with his own two eyes that things are okay and Jason can rest.

It’s 1:37 by the time he gets to the headstone reading ‘Here Lies Jason Todd’ and the gaping, muddy pit in front of it.

This- This doesn’t make any sense. This is not removal. This is destruction. Desecration. Somebody did this. Somebody-

Assess the situation.

A hole in the ground, approximately 1.5 feet in diameter.

Mud and grass flung outward but with little force.

Large chunks of earth turned over and shoved away.

No signs of tool marks or clean lines of entry into the dirt.

Dragging claw marks.

Staggering, shuffled pairs of foot prints in the mud.

A trail of dirt.

Something… Something large clawed its way out of the ground here. Something large and bipedal and- and humanoid.

Tim refuses to jump to any conclusions he can see all the facts laid in front of him. He’s going to cautiously follow the trail and simply hope to any god listening that he isn’t the world’s first line of defense against the zombie apocalypse.

He’s been walking for 23 minutes and there’s good news and undecided news. Good news: he’s closing in on the target and the trail isn’t taking him out of the way so his trip home won’t be prolonged. Undecided news: The potential Zombie Robin is heading directly for Wayne Manor.

As zombie apocalypse news, this is very bad. From Tim’s collected observational evidence, his not-so-professional opinion is that Batman, faced with a horror movie level zombie of his dead son, would not respond well, and would likely not fight back.

In Batman and Robin news? Tim’s unsure. If Jason is simply back? What could that mean for them? Batman can have his Robin. He wouldn’t have to continue nearly killing others and himself every night in his grief. Jason could-

No. Stop. Do not jump to conclusions.

Hope only brings heartbreak.

What would Batman do? Get close and see if the target is a threat.

Target is male. Mid-teens. Dark hair. Pale skin. Leaning against surfaces as he walks. Appears injured and disoriented.

Minimal risk assessed. Approaching and attempting contact.

Target identity confirmed: Jason Todd.

“J-Jason?” It comes out as a croaked whisper. Jason shows no sign of acknowledgment.

Tim clears his throat, steps right in front of his path, and tries again.

“Jason. Jason, stop I want to help you.” Still nothing.

“Please, Jason. I can help, I promise I can help!”

Why isn’t this working?! Why can’t he just do something right for once?! He wants this to work, he wants to help Bruce, he wants to fix Batman, he wants to not be alone, he wants-

“Robin!”

Robin jerks to a stop.

Tim reached out his hand.

“Robin. Robin please, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really scary, I’m really scared. But I just want to help you. Help you find Batman. Help you get home.”

Jason just stares at him. Of course he does. Of course it’s not going to work. Why did he even bother hoping he could help?

Hope only brings heartbreak.

His sight blurs as his eyes fill with tears and he starts to lower his outstretched hand.

His arm is slowed as a cold hand weakly grasps his own.

“Don’t… scared… Bat… help… Dad… help.”

A relieved sob tears out from Tim’s chest and he gathers himself together. He yanks his extra sweater off and gently pulls it over Jason’s cold shoulders. Jason lets Tim drag his arm over his shoulders to try and carry some of his weight.

“Okay, Robin. Yeah. Your dad will help us.”

Batman will solve everything once Tim gets Robin home.

[radiance1]

imagine with me Danny ends up in Gotham some how and is a mad scientist that is hired to make cool shit and gets BANK but then the bats crack down on the shit and they see a 13 year old boy with big ass goggles with machinery all around him and looks up for a second before glancing up again as if confirming what he saw and then slowly turns around “Hi…? I swear if these are one of my delusions than I will be complaining to HR- wait am I… HR?”

Danny ends up in Gotham after Nasty Burger happened, but to not become Dark Danny, he buried himself in machine work, using some blueprints from his parents' lab as a baseline and then eventually creating his own.

Some guy in Gotham found him one day and decided that he had a talent for making stuff like this, and that he'll pay Danny handsomely if he made some things for him, and, well. Danny was pretty low on money from his parents' bank account after blowing most of it on machine parts.

So he accepted.

Then the guy started requesting some other things for some other people and he eventually became his middleman for the big hitters in Gotham who wanted his stuff. Well, not that he knew his stuff was being given out to the big hitters that also include villains, since he spent most of his time just building, then eating, then passing right the fuck out, and repeat.

Then the bats crack down on him, and Danny's been making some shit for more than 24 hours already with no rest time and just a little snack here and there, and then he questions if he accidently inhaled something he wasn't supposed to because the bats are literally in his workshop/house.

So he thinks he maybe high as shit right now and then just treats them like they weren't there and goes back to making his thing because that one guy said a person with a fuck ton of money wanted it. Then Batman pulls him away from the machine and he's like: "Huh."

Still thinking this is a massive hallucination because he's high as a kite, he tries to get Batman to let go, but his grip is pretty strong, then he pokes him and then goes: "Oh, maybe this isn't a hallucination."

"Oh sugar honey iced tea."

[emacrow]

Alfred gains an unique apprentice after his arm got fractured.

Most of the batfam has been causing a ruckus in the Wayne Manor for the past 4 months that even Alfred was feeling a bit worn out.

To the point that his personal favorite market friends suggest getting a trainee, or a ward to help him out epecially because Alfred isn't getting any younger, no matter how well he took care of his own health.

Helda got herself a ward herself, a sweet little girl, name Ellen who help her keep the lil Duckling candles shop in order especially after her hip surgery went through, and will be taking over for her considering helda had no descendents, but Ellen make her feel young again.

Alfred merely delined, but ended up getting the card still by persistented friends. A card with a purple GrandFather clock symbol and a number on it. He left it in his draw as he was not rude enough to throw away.

Then came the prank war 13 on June 15th in the Wayne Manor that Alfred accidentally ended up being targeted by pure coincidence which ended with him with a fractured arm..

Both Bruce and Alfred was majorly disappointed with how far escalated the prank war went that got immediately stop when the batfam saw Alfred gotten injured during it.

Except now Alfred is stuck for 6-10 weeks without using his right arm until his personal doctor said it ok to take the cast off then have a arm sling..

Alfred was immensely stubborn for 3 days, 3 days of trying to do all his duties.. before he gave in..

And called the number on the card, and received a lovely blue letter with a couple of oddly specific paperwork on a type of help he need, what is your age, your job occupied, have any illness or arthritis, needs in case of meta or superpower sudden surprises appear, how dangerous is your and your family lifestyle, etc

By the time he finished the paperwork and hand it sent back in the return blue letter. It was by day 5 on a Friday when he received a letter back, stating that that a ward been selected and will be coming from Amity Park to help him.

Alfred was expected a teenager, but a 7 year old boy with blaring light blue eyes, starlight like freckles, black hair with a medium space designed suitcase and a very old and worn out bearbert plush on top of it.

"Good morning, You must be Mr. Pennyworth, and I'm Danny." Danny beamed a soft smile with the eyes of wisdom and understanding. Alfred pause for a mere second before a soft smile bloomed and open the door wide for him.

"Hello there Danny, do come in. Alfred said softly as he watch danny a bit with curiosity.

Would you like a snack before we start the day?" Alfred ask as he escorted danny to the kitchen to help him with today breakfast along with a list of the breakfast dishes with ingredients.

"That ok, what would you like to help you do, cut the vegetables, stir the pot, help lift the food into the oven, or clean the dishes, because you aren't going to try and do that all with a broken arm, right?" Danny said as he look at today breakfast list, going to the sink and cleaning his hand thoroughly first before touching any fresh ingredients already put out while Alfred pick the frying pans, cups, dishes and utensils for the batfam.

Alfred notice right away that danny was floating a bit to pick the heavy large pot full of marinated food from the fridge that was supposed to be on the stove for slow brothing for later today dinner, considering alfred couldn't well take it out himself since his arm was broken..

Smiling softly to himself that it was a good idea to have a ward of his own as he teaches danny the best techniques to make a Benedict.

New post here

[deebris]

The Mysterious Visitor 1

Batfamily x batsis (platonic!)

Synopsis: On a cold, snowy dawn, a naive young girl knocks on the door of Wayne Manor in search of her brother, whom she hasn't seen in a long time.

Warnings: The reader is 13 years old and is Damian's twin sister; the tone of the story is somewhat sad.

Word count: 2.1k

Note: I felt the need to emphasize that Talia is very attached to the reader and kept her hidden from Bruce. Although it's obvious that the reader is their biological daughter, I still haven't specified her physical characteristics.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

It was late at night when the doorbell of Wayne Manor rang. Much to Alfred’s dismay, he seemed to be the only one awakened by the sound, as he didn't hear anyone else getting up to answer the door. Whoever was waiting outside seemed patient, or perhaps shy, since it took a good two minutes for the bell to ring again. A single chime, just like the first time.

It was snowing now; no one would be crazy enough to show up in the middle of the night in this cold unless it was something important. Because of this, Alfred hurried to slip on his slippers, moving as quickly as he could to the entrance, but still cautiously peering through the peephole to see who the visitor was.

All he could see was the top of the head of someone very short, with a few strands of hair standing up, covered in snowflakes.

“Who is it, Alfred?” The sudden question from behind didn’t scare him, but it did surprise him. Dick had been awakened by the sharp sound of the doorbell the second time it rang and came down quickly to check.

“I don’t know yet, Master Dick,” the butler replied, intrigued, glancing quickly at the boy to see him rubbing sleep from his eyes. Alfred noticed how he stepped forward, obviously cautious about who might be on the other side. “I can handle this, sir,” he stopped him while turning the knob and opening the door without giving him a chance to protest.

Alfred tightened his robe as he felt the cold air rush in, ruffling the white hairs on his head and making the hairs on his arm stand up. He looked in astonishment at the young girl standing before him, clearly suffering from the outside temperature. Her lips were trembling and chapped, with a trace of dried blood coming from one of the cracks. Her rapid breathing also did not go unnoticed, forming a cloud with each exhale.

“Can I help you, miss?” he asked with furrowed brows, feeling pity for her condition. Perhaps she was just a street child seeking shelter; you didn’t seem dangerous in any way.

“I-is this the W-Wayne Manor?” The question came out stuttered, and your eyes had a confused expression. He wasted no more time and extended his arm to pull you inside. It didn’t seem right to leave you out there.

“Come in, come in. Don’t stay out there, it’s not healthy.” He had that concerned, almost paternal tone, and you didn’t refuse his gesture. You grabbed the old man in a hug to keep safe from the cold, grateful he didn’t push you away. In fact, he pulled you closer, placing both hands around you and guiding you to the largest couch in the room.

“It’s just a girl,” he announced to Dick, who had been trying to peek at your figure since the door had opened.

“And who is she?” Dick moved closer, sitting on the couch facing the one where you and Alfred were seated and embraced. You didn’t seem to want to leave Alfred’s side anytime soon, appreciating the warmth he provided, clutching him firmly.

“What is your name, dear?” You heard the old man’s question, but it took you a while to respond. Alfred didn’t mind being ignored, or at least he thought he would be, already averting his eyes from you until your fragile voice was heard.

“Y/n,” you pronounced your name simply, so quietly it could only be understood due to the common silence of the early morning.

“What were you doing out there? Where are your parents, young lady?” Alfred pressed on with more questions, rubbing one of his hands on your back to bring comfort.

Now that he could look at you more attentively, he saw how well-dressed you were. And just by feeling the fabric of your coat, he knew it was an expensive garment. Your knowledge of Wayne Manor also didn’t escape him. It didn’t seem like something important to note in this situation, but you certainly weren’t an abandoned child; you were probably lost and knew them somehow.

His question seemed to upset you, as you turned your face to hide it, avoiding giving an answer. He noticed your reaction and decided to change the subject: “Let’s take off this coat and get a blanket. What do you think?” He moved you away, already pulling the sleeves of the garment off your arms, and you didn’t resist. The coat was damp from the snow and definitely no longer served to keep you warm.

“She’s going to get hypothermia if she stays like this,” Dick said hurriedly as he went to get a blanket, finding a thick enough one on one of the armchairs. Someone must have left it there before going to bed.

“I will light the fireplace,” you heard the old man say as he got up from the couch and picked up some sort of stick, probably a large lighter, to start the fire.

You opened your mouth to try to thank him, but stopped yourself, finally feeling shy upon realizing you were in strangers’ home. You felt a large, soft blanket wrap around you, turning your eyes to see the tall boy crouched in front of you, draping it over your shoulders.

“In a few minutes, you’ll feel better.” His voice sounded genuinely concerned, and you felt guilty for disturbing their night. You regretted disobeying your mother; you were supposed to be home now.

Dick saw your lost look, wondering who you were. Your expression was distant, and he thought you were lost in thought, until he felt your hand grab his wrist, preventing him from getting up. Your touch was gentle, yet cold, and now your eyes were focused on his.

“Does Damian live here?” you asked hopefully.

“Damian?” This caught him off guard. He was confused, processing for a few seconds what he had heard. From his confused tone, you felt your hopes fading, thinking he had no idea who you were talking about, but his next words encouraged you a little more: “How do you know him?”

You hesitated. At first, you weren’t sure if they were trustworthy, and your mother always said to be careful with whom you spoke. Growing up within the League of Assassins made you aware of how evil some people could be, and having grown up under Talia’s extremely protective arm, who treated you like an untouchable jewel, you were limited to conversations with few people, developing an abnormal fear of strangers. But bad people wouldn’t have taken you in as they did, would they?

“We’re siblings. Is he here?” Your confession didn’t carry the same weight for you as it did for the two men in the room. Alfred heard well, and like Dick, widened his eyes. Neither of them remembered Damian ever mentioning he had a sister. If you were truly an al Ghul, where was Talia? That woman might have had the blood of a viper, but she didn’t seem like the type to let her daughter wander alone at night.

“You said… He’s your brother?” Although Dick’s question was directed at you, he looked at Alfred, who returned an intrigued frown.

“Yes.” Your voice sounded simple to him, still not noticing the tension in the room.

“Master Dick,” Alfred said his name as a cue to follow him, walking away from the couch, and the boy quickly stood up. You found it strange and turned your neck to see them going to talk in the corner of the room in whispers, watching them with curiosity.

“I think it would be wise to inform Master Bruce.” The butler sighed, trying to speak as softly as possible, knowing you were watching them. “If she is Ra's al Ghul’s granddaughter, it’s convenient to take her home as soon as possible and avoid any unnecessary conflict with the League of Assassins.”

“You think she ran away from home?” Dick asked, turning to see you, who now was no longer watching them but had your gaze down, playing with your hands.

“I suppose so,” Alfred said punctually, moving away and walking to the stairs, climbing them with his usual formal posture. “I’ll wake him up. Stay here.” He seemed calm, but inside he was worried.

“Right…” Dick murmured to himself while taking slow steps back to the couch. He analyzed your face for a few seconds before sitting hesitantly beside you. You were almost disappearing inside that blanket, wrapped up like a cocoon, and he found it a bit amusing. All he could see was your head and hands.

You didn’t bother to say anything, nor did he. Instead, he clasped his hands together and paid attention to anything else, trying to hold back the urge to ask questions but couldn’t help himself: “So, you’re Talia’s daughter?”

“You know my mother?” You raised your gaze, and your tone was excited by the possibility.

“Not personally.” He picked at his nails before deciding to keep the conversation going, as the silence was becoming too uncomfortable: “My name is Dick, by the way. But you probably know that.”

“The old man is your grandfather?” For the first time, you referred to Alfred as “the old man” out loud, which made him smile amusedly. Dick found it funny how the nickname sounded innocent, imagining how the man would react knowing someone had referred to him like that.

“It's like he was. He's family.”

“Is Dami your family now?” You asked, trembling with the answer. It wasn’t something to be proud of, but you couldn’t help feeling jealous, and you hated it. It was an excruciating feeling, mixing sadness, anger, and other confusing emotions.

Dick frowned at your question. You seemed disappointed with the idea and it didn’t escape his notice how you were completely unaware of Damian’s current life. It’s been more than two years since he came to live here, enough time for Dick to see him as he always saw his other brothers and participate in patrols as an equal.

“He’s my brother too,” he tried to sound compassionate, and suddenly the silence returned, as you didn’t want to talk anymore and he didn’t know what to say. A lump formed in your throat and your heart felt heavy with each new beat. “How old are you?” He tried again, this time changing the subject.

“Twelve,” you answered immediately, but then shook your head and corrected yourself: “Thirteen.”

“Twelve?” Dick repeated the first answer to try to confirm, letting out a muffled laugh at your strange confusion.

“It’s thirteen.”

That was impossible. Damian was thirteen.

“I still haven’t gotten used to the new age. My birthday was on Monday.”

Damian’s birthday was on Monday.

Dick swallowed hard. He lost his voice for a few seconds, trying to piece things together in his head. He felt his heart race with nerves, doubting if he had been hearing voices all along.

“Y/n, right?” He said your name, seeing you nod positively. “Are you and Damian by any chance… twins?”

You heard him well, but couldn’t help feeling your heart ache with sorrow. He had no idea who you were, even after you knew Damian saw him as a brother. The realization that Damian hadn’t even mentioned you was painful, and as you felt the tears start to roll down your cheek, you quickly wiped them away.

“Hey, hey. Why are you crying?” He moved closer, brushing your hair back with his fingers. You seemed to be the type to answer yes or no questions with gestures, as you nodded positively to him once again.

“Twins…” Dick whispered to no one, trying to come out of shock.

“Y/n,” he called your name hoping you would pay attention, but you continued trying to dry the unstoppable tears. “Y/n,” he called for the second time, and you finally looked at him again.

Now, analyzing your face after what he had just discovered, he finally noticed how much your features resembled Bruce’s. It was like he had been blind and now could finally see.

“Does the name Bruce Wayne mean anything to you?”

“He’s the owner of this house,” you said nonchalantly, as if that was all that mattered and you needed to know.

His next breath came out shaky, completely incredulous. ‘Damn Talia,’ he cursed mentally. This night would be long and, undoubtedly, very complicated.