#g: fanatics
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feymarche · 2 years ago
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redrew my old dndads pokemon cards! the template is by @ jojohelps-blog :]
i wanna do the kiddads next for no other reason than my friend said this to me
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sodasa-was-taken · 7 months ago
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I'd like to address some misconceptions I've seen floating around recently.
If a ship is canon people write less fanfics about it
Let's start with the idea that a ship's status as canon has any effect on how much fanfiction it gets. First of all, while the top 100 ships of all time contain a lot of non-canon ships those ships have in more recent years either plummeted down the yearly ship stats list or left it all together as seen in the AO3 ship stats 2023:
Meanwhile newer ships have taken their place several of which are canon. People don't abstain from writing canon pairings because they're canon but for other reasons like not being too interested in their dynamite. There's often next to no canon-complacent fics about the characters in question getting together because that story already exists in the source material. That doesn't mean there's no au's of them getting together as many fic writers find it to be a great exercise as they need to figure out how to keep the elements that attract the characters to each other in differing circumstances. Furthermore, characters getting together are far from the only stories fic writers want to tell.
Secondly, the amount of fics that's tagged with a ship is not the same as the amount that focuses on that ship. A great example of this would be a ship like Lumity where a good amount of the fics they're tagged in don't focus on their relationship. These fics often take place after they get together and make references to them being a couple so people use their ship tag. This means that unlike back when the show had first started airing the fics that doesn't revolve around their relationship still adds to the fics their relationship are tagged in.
Lumity is also a funny case of becoming more popular after it became canon as the fandom for The Owl House itself increased a great amount during the second season. Because of how often their relationship was a secondary element in several fics the amount of fics their relationship was tagged in increased along with the amount of all Owl House fics not just the ones that focused on them.
M/M is often the most used relationship tag in general
This is just nonsense. Every fandom whose source material heavily features the development of a romantic relationship is as good as guaranteed that whatever relationship tag the main couple are tagged is the most prominent. They also often make up around sixty percent of fics within their fandom. In the case of f/f specifically here's a shot list of fandoms on AO3 where f/f is the relationship tag that's used most frequently: Supergirl, The Owl House, She-ra and the princesses of power, Avatar: Legend of Korra, Arcane: League of Legends, RWBY, Wednesday, Amphibia, Steven Universe, and of course Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury.
The amount of fics on AO3 are indicative of the size of a fandom
The actual thing that has an effect on how many fic a ship has on AO3 are a combination of how many people within a fandom writes fanfics about them on AO3, how many fics each writer has written and how long they've been people posting fic about them on AO3. The amount of fics writing within a year is all that's shown on the yearly stats which doesn't say anything about how many people are writing fics or how long they are. When the total amount is all someone has to go by there's nothing that explicitly confirms that all the fics weren't written by a hundred people who each wrote a thousand dabbles.
A way to calculate the total amount of fics for a ship and easily see increases and decreases in amount of fics per year throughout the years would be with a script that would look something like this:
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This is for Sulemio as there isn't a lot of data I'd have to find and add since people have only been writing fanfics for them for about two years. Since AO3 either doesn't allow someone to search for fics published within a given timeframe or I just don't know how to do that the numbers are fics updated from August 2022-August 2023 and from August 2023-now. This does mean that there are two fics that got counted twice. Oh, well.
If g-witch is so popular shouldn't it have more fics on AO3?
While the number of fics doesn't say anything about the minimum amount of fanfic authors it does say something about the maximum amount. Even if there was one fic per author that would still be a maximum of about a thousand authors. So what gives?
Well, there appears to be two main reasons for this. One is that the Gundam fandom in general is more a discussion and art orientated fandom. We just don't have that many people whose main thing is writing fics.
Another thing to note is that most of the fics on AO3 are in English and the English speaking part of AO3 skews towards a North American and European demographic.
Unlike some other fandoms the Gundam fandom is anything but centralized in the west so it's only maybe a third of the fandom that would even use AO3. The Chinese part of the fandom sure doesn't as the website has been blocked since before g-witch started airing.
You can get a good idea of how popular Sulemio is by only looking at the fan works that are in English
This is a big one. Like I pointed out before only about a third of the fandom makes fan works in English. We're also in a situation where we have two versions of the same ship name. One is writing in the latin alphabet, the other スレミオ is writing in katakana and is also the more commonly used.
Thousands of Sulemio fan art on twitter is tagged exclusively with the one writing in katakana and therefore wouldn't show up if someone used the one writing in the latin alphabet. Likewise, on the Chinese website Bilibili there are videos about Sulemio that have views in the thousands and ten thousands and let's just say that site is a bit of a challenge to navigate if you know little to no Chinese. Even using a translator will sometimes give you such gems as "Too many barrages" and only leave you more confused.
In conclusion the Gundam fandom is huge and the number of fics on AO3 is an unfair way to determine its size.
Also a quick aside to that one person who tried to be dismissive of the amount of fics Supernatural has on AO3 by saying a lot of it was Omega verse. G-witch has 44 fics tagged as Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics and Supernatural has 8105. That might seem like a big difference but percentage wise it's about the same amount. Let's make sure we don't live in a glass house before we start throwing stones, please.
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amplexadversary · 7 months ago
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Completely self indulgent post but here's one of the post-canon scenarios I have in my head for G Gundam.
Maybe skip this post if you don't like dark themes. Not all of what I've outlined is dark (most of it isn't), but I do cross the line past what appears in the show in regards to DG cells and abduction.
The shuffles all get roped into restoration projects on Earth between the 13th and 14th gundam fights, partially to have something to do alongside their training, partially out of inspiration by the common points of the Kasshus' and Master Asia's goals, and partially because netting their countries some decent publicity is likely to earn them favors during the Gundam Fight's off-years.
Sai is contacted by Kyral about an effort to clear out the infamous buildup of trash and cadavers on Everest; he wants Sai to leverage Neo China's help as something of a reparation kind of deal and Sai goes sure why not.
Sai recruits Argo because Bolt Gundam is built to withstand the cold, and he thinks Argo and Nastasha could help reverse engineer that quality to enable the use of their Gundams as both heavy work equipment and protection from the harsh environmental conditions that normally prevent this kind of operation.
George gets involved because someone he knows has a distant relative who died on the mountain a century ago, and they wanted him to check in with the forensics team on the project. This detail is important because eventually it becomes clear that there is a mystery to solve (that I myself haven't figured out all the details of yet but broadly know the setup and conclusion); DG-infected people are disappearing and not being investigated due to stigma. Our heroes are naturally going to be pissed about this, and will need an "in" with the field if they want to do anything about it.
First massively self-indulgent element: The forensics/body identification team inexplicably includes the real-world author Kathy Reichs, who somehow exists in this universe, and there's a little side bit about her having written a Bones book right before the 12th fight that featured a cooked cadaver found inside a gundam after entry into the Earth's atmosphere. There are a lot of weird coincidences in the book that parallel the DG incident, which creeps everyone out, but the similarities are merely born of the writer threading the needle of being believable and interesting in a way that became very true to life.
What does become relevant is when the Shuffles eventually meet up, she's able to explain the implications of a bunch of weird shit the fighters discovered (also Marie Louise read her book, and one of the in-universe liberties Reichs took writing about the gundams' black boxes that she explains in the afterword leads to ML realizing something important; that Neo Germany does not have its gundam's remains.)
While the Everest project is happening, Domon, Chibodee, and Allenby all want to continue their training somewhere on Earth, and receive a proposal from (an OC of mine who is) a historic preservationist (and an acquaintance of Allenby's): she has acquired the grounds of an abandoned castle in Europe* after submitting a plan to restore it, and needs to hire people to help with the labor.
*the castle is probably somewhere in Germany because I also want this pitch to have drama over Schwarz (pre-13th fight), Schwarz (Kyoji), and Schwarz (the next guy who was supposed to inherit the mask when the older ninja retired). Also Germany is fucking pretty.
In exchange for the help of the three gundam fighters, they and Rain get paid, plus room and board anywhere on the grounds, plus full access to the grounds and miles of sparsely-inhabited countryside for training purposes, and the privacy and ability to practice with their gundams that comes with being in the middle of fucking nowhere. Rain sets herself up to work a clinic in the next town over as well as practicing pro re nata wilderness medicine (I'm convinced every medic supporting the gundam fight would need to be able to do this.)
The group involved in the Castle project sticks around for a time, makes some good progress, and engage in occasional Shenanigans that come up when you put a bunch of weirdos in a Situation.
They aren't in town a lot save for Rain, but when they are they eventually start to pick up on gossip and news about the Mysterious Disappearances correlated with DG cell infection (as well as details that turn out to be important later). Eventually Rain brings this to Domon and Chibodees' attention and they decide that, yeah, this is tied to the DG, this is their problem, they should convene with the rest of the Shuffle Alliance about it.
Also of course Schwarz is involved because I'm the one writing this; the culprits' DG-tissue harvesting operation relies on having him captured and helpless, using cells from his body to "update" other victims' DG infections to a less aggressive strain. One thing I haven't decided is whether I want a reinstantiated Wong to head this shit, or make up my own morally bankrupt opportunistic asshole looking to twist the DG to their own benefits. I also need to decide where on the planet the center of all this insanity is, and it needs to be a place that isn't going to have any unfortunate implications (because that's a genuine risk with dark story elements)
... That's about as much as I have that is thought-out enough for me to explain. I return to thinking about this scenario a lot because it puts most of the characters way out of their element (and has a bunch of details that appeal to me specifically), and it kind of evolved into an incomplete plot outline that I don't currently have any plans to flesh out.
I think it's an interesting enough direction to go, because it follows through with a lot of the themes present in G, but takes advantage of the genre shift to avoid DBZ-crazy power scaling and adjusts the conflict more to a matter of where the main characters' prowess is most effective (Both in and out of the gundams. I'm assuming there are a ton of guys similar to Michelo's gang that just need fighting interspersed with everything else I described. In fact, kicking Some Group of Douchebags out of their protection racket is probably how team Castle even gets ahold of evidence related to missing persons.)
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fereldanwench · 1 year ago
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love that the ncpd shows up after you do a dispatch gig thingy
YOU'RE WELCOME FOR DOING YOUR JOB lmao
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sun-lit-goth · 1 year ago
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Really great article on overcoming fear through presence via eckhart tolles philosophy 🤓🤓
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maranull · 2 years ago
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Thought I should add a small Elpis appearance as a way to have her established in my version of the ER world.
I am now 400 words in her scene and I don't know when I'm stopping. She's also probably gonna appear more times as the fic progresses.
Now I truly get the OC appeal. I thought I knew it just by making her in game, but actually writing her in a proper scene? Damn. I get it now.
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mus1cnmov13f311nn · 2 days ago
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hai im isa (d1 yap session ahead)
“there is no other, she is my lover” - me thinking about all my favs
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just a lil about me !! (scroll to the bottom for my fav bottoms)
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- i LOVEE winter n im december baby but halloweens my fav holiday ever
- sharks n dinosaurs are my fav animals
- i listen to a lot of music 😻😻 more so rap, kpop, drill, indie, n metal !!
- eyedress, alex g, a$ap rocky, kay flock, seventeen, gojira, wallows, n playboi cardi are my favs !! but i def like many more artists just ask away !!
- ive been meaning to get into more things !! like watching more shows n animes n movies n listening to different music so if you have any recs pls feel free to share !!
- i dont game a lot BUT i do love games like roblox, minecraft, until dawn, fnaf, at dead of night n a bunch more that ive watched but havent played yet lol
- i also love many shows like soy luna, gravity falls, demon slayer, criminal minds n a lot others i cant think of rn lmao
- i LOVEE movies like snow white, mulan, corpse bride, alice in wonderland, killer klowns from outer space, american physco n many others !!
- i really love movie franchises like friday the 13th, it, childs play, harry potter, the karate kid, scream, avatar n a lot others !!
now onto my opinions about fandoms im in n opinions about my fav ships !!
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- obvi i respect everyones thoughts on ships that i ship as well even if i do not agree !!
- but i like what i like n i just like my favs taking it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
- believe me im TRIED reading the other side of my ships but i just dont enjoy it yk
- basically i literally only interact with fics n stuff that are smutless or my goat is bottoming 🙂‍↕️
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the following are of ships and/or characters that are my favs !!
bottom! johnny ‘pretty boy’ lawrence from “the karate kid” franchise
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my fav n has been my fav for years tbh hes so pretty n gay n girlfriend coded n i just love william zabka
- regarding ships n stuff i literally love shipping johnny with everyone in the series !! more specifically the cobras i love the lil polycule they have going on !!
bottom! ao’nung from the “avatar” franchise
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also one of my favs !! wrote a few fics of my lil fishie boy but i have toned it down a bit as i grow older n older than this alien
- with shipping i like ao’nung more with lo’ak n rotxo than neteyam but i do still like the pairing !! i just think all of the outcomes ive found with avatar fics ruined netenung for me a lil bit
bottom! draco malfoy from the “harry potter” franchise
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love draco sm hes just such an angsty character with issues that just add to his gorgeousness bc zoo wee mama is he a sight
- also i enjoy shipping draco with lots of different characters !! i do find myself reading a lot of him x blaise n harry bc their just so perfect for him n truly handle draco which i love !!
bottom! shidou ryuusei from the “bluelock” anime
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i love shidou hes my fav gyaruo to ever walk the earth n hes genuinely so unhinged n deranged its impressive n i love him
- ngl i also love shidou with everyone else !! ig more so with the itoshi brothers bc ive read more fics about them n just love the dynamics authors come up with
i have a lot more lmao like shouto todoroki, eli moskowitz, max goof, victor criss, jj maybank, theon greyjoy, zuko n A LOT others but the reason i didnt zero in on them much is bc ive either not finished the series theyre in (jj, theon, todoroki, eli) or i have n just havent found any moots that like it too lmao (zuko, vic, max)
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anyways dni list is to like be a decent n not hateful person n ill probs tag everything with isa yaps or some variation of that :P
don't know what imma post in the future probs just gonna be hcs n reboots n other random shi BUTTT my ask me anything is right there ask LITERALYY anything i love to yap :3 ty for reading :D
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vj-oda · 1 year ago
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youtube
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bestosunglass · 6 months ago
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THIS IS SO COOL‼️❓‼️❓‼️❓‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
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So, I had a convention last week, and I just got some pictures back from it, and decided to cosplay as Master Shake (inspo of human design for Shake @bestosunglass )
I really look like a asshole 😂
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hoshiszora-archived · 2 years ago
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Listening to Final Fantasy VI music while (slowly) working on drafts makes me miss writing Mister Locke Cole
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matan4il · 3 months ago
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My grandparents all survived the Holocaust. A part of our family did not. I chose to dedicate years of my life to studying and educating against such hatred, violence and atrocities.
I know what a genocide is.
I also know what a defensive war in residential urban settings against a fanatic, genocidal terrorist organization using its own civilians as human shields is.
And I know the difference. Because yes, there is a difference, even as there might be pockets of incidental injustice within that war (as is the case with all wars).
And it doesn't matter how many times the g-word will be used unjustifiably, it cannot make me confuse those two things. It also cannot convince me that people here confusing the two is any sort of a moral stance. It's just ignorant, has proven itself harmful to Jews, and is also doing a real disservice to victims of actual genocides.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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lovemomhatepolice · 19 days ago
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max verstappen nswf alphabet (part 1) (minors DNI!)
navigation taglist requests
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Max is very understanding after sex. He knows that many times you are very exhausted by your activities. He tries to give you as much warmth as he can and always listens to what you say to him so that each time is even better than the last. He really enjoys hugging you to himself and so does lying on top of you, knowing that you are next to him. B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) He likes his body and thinks he is appropriately athletic and tall. He has received many compliments in life because of this, so it has had a strong impact on his self-esteem. But he likes his arms best, especially after a workout, when his veins are strongly visible. In your case, he is a big fan of breasts. He loves to lie on them when he has a bad time. He loves to touch them when you make love. And he loves to look at them at every possible opportunity. C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Max isn't some cum fanatic, but he can't resist the sight of you nimbly swallowing whatever comes out of him after your perfect blowjob. Well normally he goes on his knees himself then (figuratively and not) D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) It may sound unprofessional, but when Max first saw you, he already knew exactly what he wanted your sex to look like. I know it sounds quite perverse - but you had exactly the same thing, and, to my horror, your visions were not at all different from each other E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Max is already 27 years old, of course he is experienced. I would not exaggerate to say that he is very experienced, but he is. He's had partners before you, with whom he's been with longer and shorter, so he's already experienced a lot - that's why he's skilled with his tongue or hitting the right spot every damn time F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Doggy. Max knows what he wants and he's good at it. Taking you from behind gives him a lot of confidence and ability, so this is the best position for you. Oh, he still loves the way your back arches and has the ability to pull you close to kiss you. And you love it, because in this position Max can give you the most pleasure, especially when he's angry and emotional, and this is the easiest way for him to caress you G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He is rather serious when you make love. Sex is not strictly physical for him, and he likes to give a lot of emotion to it, so he is not a fan of emotionless fucking. And as for being moody at such moments, yes, it happens to him, sometimes you laughed or joked, he's not against it, not one bit H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) I think Max is cut down to nothing there. He doesn't look like someone who likes himself in a thicket of hair, so he's perfectly coiffed there. As for you, he would probably also prefer it to be either to zero or with some I don't know, maybe a stripe through the middle? I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) He loves to whisper romantic words to you and tell you how good you are to him. He hasn't experienced much of this in his life, so he tries to be as warm to you as possible. And he loves taking you out for romantic dinners before that J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) This is a busy man. His stamina is not at all as high as it might seem, due to the fact that he is constantly living under stress and fighting for the championship. When you're not next to him and he doesn't have anyone to have sex with, he doesn't even think about masturbation, preferring to save it for the moment of your return, when you'll be next to each other and he can give it his all
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Max would like to be blindfooled. For once in his life, for it to be someone else who took control and he didn't know what was going on. Oh, until he shivers when he thinks about it. And then there's the realization that you would be the one making him feel good and guiding him to the end while he's blindfolded, how much he would give up for that…. L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Max is traditional. He's fed up enough with the media world and the hype surrounding his career that he most enjoys making love to you in bed, in your apartment. If it happens otherwise, of course, he doesn't complain, but he likes to be in your quiet surroundings.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Very often he feels like having sex before the race. That's when he gets tugged by higher emotions and is just overstimulated to the point that all he wants is to be in your arms. Or when you're wearing your skimpy pyjamas, oh god. Max purposely bought you more pairs of one and the same pyjamas, just to see you in them every day.
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A/N: part two will be here soon! (If anyone wants me to tag them - let me know in the comments)
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
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synthsays · 1 year ago
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OMFG I-GEJECJSNENRFDSJCSHGCHF!!
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i've got no idea what hes doing & neither does he probably but you'd BETTER tell him he's going a GOOD JOB or ELSE
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astoundingbeyondbelief · 3 months ago
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As the proud owner of a Yaoi Hands Gigan, I'm pretty delighted to see people rediscovering one of the strangest of all bootleg Godzilla toys. Some lore:
First documented by @mr-x-the-psychotic-fanatic on July 7, 2014, as part of a figure set based on the Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars game pieces. Some were sold loose, others packaged. @misscouchpotatobew just unearthed a gold variant of Yaoi Hands Gigan as well.
I apparently coined the Yaoi Hands Gigan name, although I'd have to boot up my old desktop to find the original message (Skype didn't store chats on the cloud until 2017).
The bootleg Kaiju World Wars figures weren't on eBay for very long, but @kaijusaurus miraculously found a loose Yaoi Hands Gigan for £4.99 in a Glasgow store called Geek-aboo and presented it to me at G-Fest 2016.
The figure can rotate its head, arms, and tail 360 degrees.
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senseofnewness · 5 months ago
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nsfw alphabet for patrick is all i need rn 🧌
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
The first thing Patrick asks you after sex is whether you came. He's the type who prides himself on always bringing his partner to climax, so if you hadn't, he'd probably dive right back in without hesitation. But if you had, he'd cling to you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, his body enveloping yours, almost crushing you with his need to be close. Kissing would be inevitable.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Patrick Zweig is undoubtedly an ass guy. He enjoys boobs, they're fun (especially when they’re full and he can jerk off with them), but it's asses that truly captivate him. He loves grabbing yours, massaging it, nuzzling against it, even biting it. There's also a part of him that's deeply turned on by thighs, the jigglier, the better.
When it comes to his own physique, Patrick is quite pleased with his figure, especially his defined abs. The fact that he maintains them with minimal core training fills him with a particular sense of pride.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
There is nothing Patrick Zweig enjoys more than covering you with his cum. Whether you're on the pill or have an IUD, he relishes pulling out and spilling himself over your chest, stomach, or ass. For him, it's almost a game, a contest to see if he can come even more than the last time. It's not uncommon for you to find traces of his cum on random items of clothing when you do laundry. He’s unapologetically nasty like that.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He adores the moments when you switch things up and make him submit to you completely. There's a thrill in seeing how far you can push him, turning him into a moaning mess under your dominance. He loves your strap and you enjoy making him beg for it.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Patrick is an experienced lover, having had several girlfriends and countless one-night stands. His reputation as a player precedes him. Though he knows his way around the bedroom, his true expertise lies in his attentiveness. He is the kind of lover who always asks what feels good, eager to ensure his partner's pleasure.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
That man is a doggy fanatic. There is nothing to add. Sure, he enjoys kissing you and watching your expressions, but watching your pussy take his cock so eagerly? That absolutely drives him wild. Plus, he loves the sight of your asshole clenching when he hits the right spot. Well, when he's not in it.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Patrick adopts a serious attitude when he's in the mood, viewing sex as a matter to be treated seriously. Yet, occasionally, his playful nature emerges, leading to moments where he says something silly, causing both of you to erupt into laughter. Then ensues a playful battle of who can say the most outrageous thing while still doing it.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Patrick's unkempt hair is a turn-on for you, so he maintains minimal grooming. He mentioned trimming his pubic hair for hygiene, but the real reason is to be able to see the connection between your bodies more clearly when he’s inside you. He understands your fondness for nuzzling into his armpits, so he deliberately lets the hair grow there solely for your pleasure.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
If you're dating him, he's likely to express his intense feelings with declarations of love and neediness, often in dramatic terms. He begins with tender kisses and gentle touches. But after a while he transforms into a passionate and demanding lover, his language turning crude and his caresses urgent. With a one night stand, he would probably be needy and desperate. While he might see sex as a casual act with others, with you, it becomes the ultimate expression of love and commitment. It only counts when it’s with you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
It’s never a surprise when you find Patrick with his hands down his pants. It’s almost a soothing action for him. He can't resist pleasuring himself whenever the opportunity arises, whether you're beside him or not. If he feels the urge, he'll satisfy himself without a second thought. But he also enjoys when you join him in his little sessions, touching yourself while he watches and does the same.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Patrick indulges in numerous kinks, but if he had to pinpoint a few favorites, dominating you would be at the top. He adores choking and spanking you while pounding vigorously into the mattress. Restraining and punishing you also brings him satisfaction, especially when you call him ‘sir’ or ‘daddy’ in the heat of the moment. Yet, he’s also very turned on by the thought of you challenging him and refusing yourself to him. He would never do anything without your consent, so he enjoys having to work for it and make you beg for it.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Patrick has a penchant for bending you over wherever it's convenient. You guys do it in the shower, in the car, over the kitchen counter, on the couch, or even against a wall. Any place will do, though he has a particular fondness for semi-public spots where the thrill of possibly getting caught intensifies the experience. When you do it on a bed, he playfully refers to it as 'doing it like mommy and daddy.'
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Engaging in arguments with him is a turn-on. You can't have a typical couple spat without him grabbing your hand and guiding it to his hard cock. He finds you irresistibly attractive when you're flushed with anger and raising your voice. A slap from you and he's practically jizzing his pants right there.
You also have a little trick up your sleeve when you want him to fuck you passionately. Just feign boredom or let out a yawn, and he's gone. He’s keeping you up all night while calling you all sorts of names.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
In his world, there's little he'd turn down (except the obvious hard-nos), though I reckon anything involving scat would be a hard pass. He might revel in some dirty play with piss under the shower when it’s all fun and ok but shit? He's got boundaries.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Patrick takes immense pleasure in eating pussies, he truly does. And he excels at it, especially if you enjoy the uninhibited, messy, sloppy kind of cunnilingus (which 99% of the time leads to ass eating, but that's a tale for another time). However, nothing quite compares for him to the sensation of receiving. He adores it, perhaps even more than penetrative sex. The feeling of being inside your mouth, fucking your face, the way your throat tightens around him, drives him wild. When you swallow him, it's like he's transported to another realm. In those moments, he remembers his science classes where he learnt that what you consume becomes a part of your body, integrating into your cells. He imagines he will be a part of your body forever.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Patrick Zweig always seems in a rush to cum. His excitement when he sees you fuels a need to release that energy quickly, often resulting in fast and intense encounters. Even in moments when he tries to be tender, such as when you're experiencing period cramps, he ends up fucking you like a machine. While you usually enjoy this, there are times when you plead for gentleness, and he manages to slow down for a few minutes before returning to his vigorous pace. However, when his focus is on pleasuring you and ensuring your satisfaction, he transforms into the most delicate and attentive lover.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Patrick's desire to fuck you knows no bounds, so quickies are a frequent occurrence in your relationship, at any time and place. You don’t always come, but when you don’t, he assures you that he'll make up for it later. On those occasions, you know for sure that what will follow won't be anything ‘quick’.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Patrick trusts you implicitly and isn't shy about sharing his fantasies and desires. He is well-aware that he is dating a freak like him, which makes it easier for him to discuss things he's seen in porn videos or wants to try. He values experimentation and thrives on taking risks in the bedroom. One of his greatest fears is that your sex life might someday lose its excitement and become mundane.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Patrick, being an athlete who maintains rigorous training, naturally possesses impressive stamina. Although, he often takes a brief moment between rounds to focus on your pleasure before resuming (surely he needs a minute). His endurance allows him to last long enough during sex to be able to orgasm at the same time as you most of the time.
There have been instances in the past, once or twice, when after returning from tour and being apart from you for days, he became overly excited by a simple kiss and some heavy petting and came in his underwear. You assured him that it would remain between the two of you, a promise you've kept until now.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He owns a few toys. It's more like a shared collection between you both. He often incorporates them into your intimate moments, considering them helpful aides. While you doubt he uses them by himself, he does find pleasure in you using a vibrator on him or occasionally inserting a plug.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's a master tease, especially on those lazy days when there are no obligations and you can lounge at home together. He effortlessly says things that leave you flustered and damp between the legs. In bed, he knows just how to make you lose your mind. His touches and kisses are calculated to leave you begging for more, deliberately keeping you on the edge, wanting you to admit you need him. In those moments, he knows how to be slow.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
When Patrick directs his attention towards you, he effortlessly maintains a quiet voice, just a few low groans escaping his mouth. But the moment he surrenders control and is under your care, he succumbs to overwhelming pleasure and becomes the loudest motherfucker. His moans are anything but manly, he sounds like a little bitch. Your little bitch.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
The first time Patrick Zweig came on your tits, you weren’t dating yet. It was just a casual thing born of mutual desire when the both of you felt an itch to scratch. It wasn’t the first time Patrick had come on a girl, but it was the first time he had done it on someone who wasn’t his girlfriend. He had apologized as he had assisted you in cleaning his cum from your cleavage with the sleeve of his shirt. You could tell he wasn't genuinely remorseful, his broad grin had betrayed that fact. You had swatted his hand away, insisting he lick you clean. Which he had ended up doing. If he wanted to make you his bitch, you would make him yours first.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
It’s no secret, Patrick Zweig has a big cock. Its length is considerable, matched by its impressive girth. Though the initial encounter was uncomfortable, now you yearn for the sensation of him stretching you open.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
The day he no longer yearns to fuck you incessantly will mark the day his love for you fades. His desire for your touch, your kiss, and your undivided attention is insatiable. If circumstances allowed, let’s say, if he weren't on tour and you weren't at work, he'd likely keep himself buried in you for years. That’s where he belongs.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Patrick swiftly drifts off to sleep moments after coming. A single 'I love you' is all it takes, and he's out like a light. Oblivious to the weight on top of you or the fact that he's still deep inside of you, he simply slips into slumber. Often, you find yourself pushing off so you can have some space to breathe.
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princesssmars · 2 months ago
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alone together
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a karlach x princess!reader.
in the blink of eye, you go from a carefree heir to a throne to a damsel in distress stuck in a tower. but there's a strange woman stuck with you, and maybe you can make each other a little less lonely.
wc : 8,655
contains: fxf. fem!reader. skin color not described. fluff. some light angst. smut. g!p karlach. oral and penetrative sex.
a/n: fuck that poll i'll do TWO fics for her i never cared! karlach has a little soldier because those bg3 mods have affected my brain and i need her to take me to pound town. sorry i rushed the ending i need this fic out NOW. enjoy :3
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throughout history, many tales have been written about the failures of monarchs.
there was thaymor the vain, whose search for everlasting youth to sustain his envied beauty led to him making a deal with faeries for a youth spell, but they didnt tell him he would absorb this youth from his entire family, killing his lineage in only a few short years.
atreyu the acceptable, whose father went from being the hero who defended his village from raiders to the king who turned it into a flourishing kingdom, while the most his son accomplished was developing a new bread recipe in the palace kitchens. to be fair, it was rather tasty. bit too many nuts.
but the one story you loathed the most was cassara the chilled. a young, beautiful, and promising young princess who was locked in her room for nearly half a year as punishment for a false accusation of pushing her brother, the crown heir, down a flight of stairs. in her lonesome and desperation, she had turned to dark magic to sustain herself, and by the time her parents found her, she was a cold and petrified shell. nothing more than a glamorous statue.
you would read these stories in the palace library and, admittedly a bit morbidly, laugh to yourself. your family line was known for its intelligence and charisma, able to control your kingdom with ample care for its citizens and contributing greatly to its numerous advancements.
it'd been this way for decades - so how on earth were your parents so damned stupid?
you had noticed things like this before. the pair of them listening too closely to what citizens had to say while holding court. a few years back a fanatical farmer had told them he saw a sign from one of his gods that unless the kingdom slaughtered half its cows it would be leveled, and the king quickly gave the order. then it was later revealed that the farmer had eaten some contaminated mushrooms he had found on his farm and didnt even worship any gods.
the kingdom ate a lot of chicken that year. some of the court mages used spells to increase the egg output from the livestock to make up for it, which led to you quitting the meat for two years. those magic chickens were...odd.
but besides that, your life was nothing short of amazing. you were the only child and the crown heir, so even though you had the unbearable weight of the heavily bejeweled crown in your future, with all the luxuries you were afforded like dresses, jewelry, lavish balls, and dinners, it was very much worth it.
on a day when you had political tutoring instead of attending court, your parents must have done something to piss someone off, because the next time you came in you'd never seen a citizen have such nerve. it was an old woman dressed in black rags and holding a weird-looking staff, most likely a witch.
your family had no qualms against magic wielders as far as you knew, seeing any amount of help to grow their empire as worthwhile. but that changed when she aimed her stick at your parents and spoke.
"your contempt for life that does not fit your 'purpose' is an affront for everything your kingdom supposedly stands for. a kingdom i helped your ancestors build. and all i asked in return is for you to remember my terms. to not disrespect me after all i've done. but you have failed. and for this you must be punished."
you were going to call her insane, call the guards to seize her and make an example out of anyone who would threaten and say such baseless claims about your family. you had heard the story of how your ancestors built this kingdom from the ground up hundreds of times, and not once was it mentioned that they received help from a witch.
you weren't afforded time to think it over when her staff pointed at you, her gaze making your blood run cold. the trinkets and bones attached to the end of the warped dark stick brimming with glowing tendrils of magic.
"your daughter, such beauty, such grace, such a beacon of what your family stands for," she taunts and moves her head side to side as she mocks you. "i will give you a choice. your daughter or your kingdom."
you scoff at her and the panicked whispers from the commoners and guards around you. this is bullshit. for all you knew she was nothing but a druid playing dress up, most likely hurt that her flower farm was torn up in one of your father's recent expansion projects.
"this is crazy, we all know this is crazy, right?" your head whips to stare at your parents, who won't even look you in the eye. you start to feel sick, refusing to believe for a second that they could actually be considering this. "mother, father!"
your father raises his hand and the room goes quiet. he stands, an imposing figure by himself, and his cloaks and crown make him more so. the family crest glimmers from his chest, a golden dragon with its wings bared. you try to remember what it stands for to quell the fear in your chest.
your family is strong, your family has knowledge that goes beyond others, your family is more powerful than this pathetic pretender-
"please, just...just don't hurt her, we beg."
your eyes strain at the sight of your father, the king, on his knees with his hands clasped together.
he's pleading with her. this woman is threatening your life and he's begging to her.
you only manage to have one last thought before you're enclosed in a cloud of black and feel your body being ripped through space.
your family is fucking stupid.
your new life is far from what you're used to, but you become suspicious of how pampered elisia - the hag - has made everything for you.
you live in a tower, a tall and black and imposing thing that if you weren't a damn hostage you'd probably think thrice about entering. it stood at the top of an abandoned keep you think you'd heard of in another bedtime story, something about an ogre and a damsel…whatever.
elisia had made it extremely clear that there would be no way for you to escape. her magic would keep the place functional while she was gone; the dark halls lit up, kitchen stocked, library filled. but try to navigate the gigantic lower level that led to the exit and you’d end up in an endless loop that left you feeling dizzy enough to give up for the day.
(for good measure the keep was also situated on a crumbling mountain above a pit of actual lava. have to applaud her efficiency.)
but then you asked if she had planned on you going insane, as would eventually happen if you were left here alone.
the sound of her cackle rang in your head for a few days.
‘what makes you think you're alone in here?’
the cloth of your bed was soft, the gentle canopy making you long for the glamorous and full one you'd had at home. but even the mocking familiarity couldn’t rouse you into sleep that night. every tumble of a rock echoed throughout the halls of the prison that was now your home, making vomit rise in your throat as you remembered the witch’s words.
you tried to calm yourself down, convincing yourself she only alluded to another thing being here to scare you. for the first day you tried to follow your daily schedule as well as possible. wake up, clean and dress yourself, eat some breakfast, focus on hobbies and interests, tea in the garden, etcetera.
but to say it was a struggle is an understatement. you forgot how everything was made easier by your maids and lady’s in waiting, having issue with just doing your hair alone. you didn’t even want to begin on breakfast, fighting with the damned bewitched oven and settling for a fruit salad.
and so you stick to reading, it’s not like you need help doing that. it reminds you of when you were younger and your governess would call out “sick” and when a replacement was being prepared you’d wait on the cushy classroom chaise and read and read and read until your eyes started to hurt.
and now you’ve resorted to reading a cookbook. you’re halfway through a recipe for grilled cheese when you hear it, the displacement of rock in the walls and a dull, eerie humming. you feel the goosebumps rise on your skin and try your best not to let your fear show as you pass a quick glance up at the doorway.
and an eye is staring right back at you.
the book falls from your hands and hits the ground with a hard smack, throwing you from holding the eyes gaze as you make sure it’s alright before looking back at the doorway, only to find nothing there.
this is getting weird. and unsettling. and annoying. and so you muster up all the foolish courage you can, pick your dress up by the hem, and chase after the creature.
you recognize it’s not the smartest idea, chasing after something potentially dangerous and definitely stalking you. but if it’s resorted to staring at you from doorways it can’t be prone to violence. hopefully. curse your father for burdening you with his impatience. and dimwittedness, apparently.
whatever the thing is its fucking fast, tucking and weaving around corners almost faster than you can keep up with.
(you mentally thank your fitness educator for making you routinely run laps around the gardens when you became too lazy for your parents liking back when you were twelve. sucks you’ll never see her again, she was always funny.)
the mysterious being messes up and you cheer to yourself when you hear it stop itself from crashing into the wall.
“hah! looks like you’ve-“
gods above you must look like a dunce, panting in the middle of this dark hallway as you stare at the big bad that was staring at you in your entrapment. but it’s not what you expect. it’s not a monster, or a creature, or the angel of death here to free you from the torment of boredom.
it’s a woman. a devil woman. a very large and disturbingly attractive devil woman.
gods above, you’d been involuntarily celibate for far too long.
it’s clear she’s not going to start conversation first, appearing as if she’d rather sink into the walls themselves than explain herself to you.
“are we going to keep staring at each other or are you going to explain why you’re stalking me?”
“i’m not stalking you!” she blurts, clearly annoyed by your accusation. well, if she only responded to being called a pervert you’d just have to deal with that.
“you were standing in the doorway and ogling me as i was reading, sounds pretty stalkerish to me.”
“that’s not- i wasn’t ogling-“
“and you’ve clearly been in here with me a while, i’ve heard that weird humming and seen that light before. why not introduce yourself if you weren’t being a creep?”
“i’m not a stalker! i’m supposed to be here!” her eye twitches and you figured you’ve pushed her far enough to the truth. you didn’t want to annoy her too much, the giant woman looked like she could snap you in half with ease.
no, don’t think about that. stop staring at her muscles. stop it-
maybe she notices your silence or maybe she notices how you are not no politely checking her out, because she takes the infernal axe off her back, - which you hadn’t even noticed, survival skills going down the drain - sets it gently on the ground, and slowly starts to walk towards you.
you try your best not to show weakness or fear as she approaches, clearly trying to show you she doesn’t mean to harm you. she could have easily harmed you earlier when you chased her like a mad woman through the keep, and you start to feel a bit flushed with embarrassment.
“i can kind of explain why i’m here, if you’d like. somewhere more comfortable preferably.”
she leads you back to the kitchen and the whole time your eyes never leave her body, taking in every detail you can to try to piece together her story.
she has numerous scars starting from her face and trailing down her body, the gaps in her leather outfit letting you see the raised veins and literal vents in her arm and shoulder. add the injuries and incredibly well defined muscles together and it’s not hard to figure this woman is no strain her to hard battle, and could easily overpower you if she so desired.
(yet again you have to trample your inner libido at the thought. you need to get out of this place and fast.)
once in the kitchen, you both shit down and you listen as she tells you everything you want to know, answering every question you have without failure.
“what’s your name?”
“karlach. named after my mum. what’s yours?”
“princess y/n of tuquestia. are you a devil?”
“an actual princess, eh? here i thought that old witch was exaggerating. and no, i’m a tiefling. blame the burning skin and engine on that bitch downstairs mizora.”
“mizora? why the hell would you get mixed up with her?”
“i didn’t ask to. it’s a long story. i think your foods burning, love.”
“gods damn it. whatever. why are you here? how long have you been here?”
“guess that wicked witch is old buddies with my devil because they made some bet way back when that if she managed to screw over some kingdom they both hate mizora would give up one of her best soldiers to help her.”
“so what, your an extra ounce of protection to make sure i don’t jump out of a window?”
“guess i am. and please don’t, wouldn’t end well for either of us.”
after an hour of trying to make a simple meal and glaring at karlach whenever she’d tease you, a warmth bloomed in your chest uncaused by the infernal being across from you. until that point you had pondered when the effect of the endless days of loneliness would seep in, when you'd start talking to visions in your mind before slowly going insane.
but now you had karlach. big, loud, always yapping karlach.
you didn't have many friends back home. you had your handmaidens who were respectful but always too careful, brief flings from when you snuck out to the local towns taverns and polite conversations with visiting monarchs and royals. but never a true friend.
so you’re unable to tell if the way karlach acts is…normal. it’s not like she’s just standing behind and watching you as you try to live your life during the day. not that you’d mind that much.
it’s quite the opposite; she’s always talking. maybe it’s because during your first conversation you made a one off comment of resorting to talking to an old teddy bear you’d found in your closet for company, but there doesn’t go a minute where’s she doesn’t just strike up a conversation with you.
she asks what your home is like, how did you grow up, what it was like to be a princess (that ‘was’ stung more than you expected), if you ever had any pets, any friends, a boyfriend.
you’d snorted at that, telling her if there’s one thing you were grateful to your parents for it was respecting your preference for women. she goads you to go on and listens intently to your story of the time you and a neighboring princess got caught in the quite the situation behind one of the curtains at a large gala…
you figure it’s only polite to ask her all of her questions back, and clearly it’s the right option since each time you do her face lights up almost literally and she animatedly explains every little detail of her life and adventures before she got screwed over and stuck in avernus.
and oh, avernus. if there’s one thing to smack you into reality it’s when she finally deems you trustworthy enough to tell you how exactly she’d become one of mizoras best. you were not the least bit surprised that someone like gortash would screw her over.
(you’d only met him once at your parents invitation and faked food poisoning when he had asked you for a dance. karlach laughed so hard at that her fingers scorched the table you were sitting at. it felt in that moment that you’re stomach was even warmer than her.)
but when she explained everything after he gave her up, the pain of being taken from her home, having her heart replaced, turned into a killing machine and mistaken for a devil, your heart ached. all you wanted was to reach out and touch her, to place at least a comforting hand on her shoulder, but another pain she felt was going without contact with anyone because of her engine.
your old sociology instructor would weep in joy if she could see you know, mourning for the life of someone you just met could have had. all you wanted wasnt to escape this tower, or to wear the latest dress made custom by your tailor and drink some of the not sneakily hidden wine in the kitchens stone walls. it’s just to make her feel better.
so you come up with a plan. probably not the smartest one, but the only one that’ll get you results quickly.
you go about the morning as normal. wake up, clean yourself, meet karlach in the kitchen for breakfast. easy peasy.
now there’s just manning up and going through with this. you had told karlach you were making omelets, the tiefling practically bouncing in her seat as she cleaned off her axe while she wanted. as soon as you could tell she was distracted, you raised the vegetable cutting knife to your hand, took on a deep breath, and then-
“fuck!” her head jerked up at your cry, body standing up on automatically as she watched you cradle your hand to your chest and keel over. she goes to place a hand on your back to help you up and see what’s wrong when she stops herself, so close she can nearly feel the fabrics of your dress brush against her skin.
“damn it, princess. um, ok, it’s not too deep, i’ll get you a towel.” she rushes around the kitchen, searching for a piece of cloth to help you with your wound. but once she sees one sitting not even two feet from you by the fireplace, she’s stopped from alerting you by a swooshing air coming in from the hall, specks of magic floating through the air.
“what on earth are you doing?” elisia‘s voice comes out in a screech, looking like a cloud of darkness as her tall frame draped in black cloaks moves into the kitchen with a quickness. she’s just as quick to dig her nails into your wrist and bring your injured hand up to her face, ignoring your whimper that sends a pang of worry into karlach.
“what, are you turning into an idiot like your father? how can you be so inept?”
“ok ok, it was just an accident!”
she spits out a curse in a language you don't understand and drops your wrist, ignoring your grunt of pain. “the whole point of this is for you to be trapped here, not for you to end your life because of pure foolishness.”
her eyes zip to karlach, and you admire how the tiefling doesn't stand down to the hag's piercing gaze, squaring her shoulders almost like she is preparing for a fight.
“you. did you forget about our precious zariel’s little gift?” elisia smiles down at karlach’s chest, which noticeably glows brighter as her frustration rises. “one touch and you could have burned it closed. do you enjoy watching my hostage bleed out on the stone?”
“i don't think making her pass out and likely die from excruciating pain is in your plans either. i can't help her if i can't touch her without endangering her life!”
the echo of her booming voice leads to an eerie silence, both of you waiting for what elisia says next. your eyes meet from across the room, glowing amber trailing down to your hand before you give a quick nod to let her know you’re okay.
elisia groans, tapping her staff on one of the sturdy counters. “fine. what do you need in order to do what you’re here for?”
”i…i need an engine upgrade. just enough to be able to make contact.” you can't help but notice the tick in karlach’s voice, a slight glimmer of hope at just the idea that she’ll be able to touch someone again, even if it’s just you.
“you’ll still be able to use it as protection, yes?”
karlach nods, and after a few seconds of contemplation, the witch wordlessly disappears into a plume of smoke.
“do you think she’ll consider it?” you question, voice strained as the stinging of your palm reaches a new high. in a rush the woman is collecting the things needed to take care of your wound, gesturing for you to sit on top of the table while she helps as much as she can without hurting you further.
“focus on me, yeah? it’ll be over in a second.” she holds a bottle of alcohol over your hand waiting for your confirmation that she can pour it on the slash to sterilize it. you wish you could say you reacted gracefully, but based on her facial reaction it’s safe to assume the sound you cried was anything but pretty. quickly she guides you to dry it off and wrap it in a bandage, a sigh of relief escaping you when the would is properly covered.
“thank you. sorry if i made you worried, didn’t mean to cut so deep. still not very good with knives.”
“of course i worried, you’re - wait, you did this on purpose?”
you give her a sheepish smile as she stares at you in shock, eyes darting from your hand to multiple spots on your face before she bursts into a loud laughter, your body going stark straight from the surprise of her mood shifting so suddenly.
“glad to know i was right about there being something more than air in that head of yours, princess. now i’m aware you’re also crazy.”
“hey, it worked didnt it? now you’ll get your engine upgrade, and you’ll finally be able to touch me.”
“yeah looking forward to wrangling your stubborn ass from trying to find more secret tunnels in your bedroom.”
“i know they exist! what keep doesn’t have a secret tunnel?”
you’re thrown into a playful argument about how she’s certain that secret tunnels that you remembered dearly from your old castle wouldn’t be in every type of royal origin, while you try to persuade her it’s basically an untold law for building a keep.
all the while she’s trying to ignore how the light of the fireplace brings out the warmness of your skin, while you decide not to bring up how to the idea of touching you made her bite her lip and stutter her breath.
karlach gets her upgrade sooner than later, the itch appearing with a nice but scared-looking tiefling who uses a strange-looking metal to fix karalch up. you can tell she's trying to stay calm through the endeavor, not wanting g to risk the poor man due to her excitement. and the whole time you stay by her side, eyes trained on the rather strange way the procedure is done.
but once its done she stands there, almost unable to believe what she hopes to be true. she turns her body to face yours, eyes near begging for either of you to do something when you wrap your arms around her neck and push your body into hers.
and gods, is she warm. like cuddling up with a wool blanket in bed during the chilling midsts of winter. you can tell your sudden act of affection scared her at first, but once she realizes whats happening she wraps her arms around your waist so tightly it feels like shes trying to fuse you into one.
you hear elisia in the back, groaning at the act before leaving with the stranger in a hurry. when their footsteps are no longer heard karlach lifts your body up with ease, twirling you around before setting your body back to the floor.
her chest is having, excitement coursing through her body as flames rise and retreat from the vents in her shoulders.
“i cant believe it. i never thought i would- that you and i could-”
she cuts herself off with the most joyous laugh you've heard from her yet, pulling you into another hug and burying her face into your shoulder, minding not to scratch you with her horn.
its almost adorable how cuddly karlach becomes after that; a giant war fighting barbarian nervously asking if she can receive a random hug in the middle of the day, standing behind you as she makes sure you're following the steps of a recipe you found, even indulging you when you ask for her hands to warm your stomach when your moon week arrives.
only two weeks after her upgrade do you realize that you have feelings for her. maybe you've known for longer, only denying it in the fear that you'd lose the only true friend you'd ever had. even if she didn't return your affections, the reasonable part of you knew she would never turn you down in a harsh way. but you knew yourself, and knew the embarrassment would lead to you distancing yourself from her and ignoring her at any chance possible, which was the opposite of what both of you needed at this time.
you try your hardest not to make it obvious, but when she catches your eyes lingering on her a few times too long she decides she cant ignore it any longer, choosing to finally have that long awaited talk with you before you head to sleep.
she was escorting you from the library back up to your room for the night, gently guiding you with a large palm on your back while your attention was focused on a book you had found deep in the history shelves. it was endearing, how you'd pay little attention to where you were going and nearly trip over a stair before cursing it under your breath.
“i knew you were a bit of a history buff, darling, but you cant exactly learn if you give yourself a concussion.” karlach smiles.
you don't reply, mumbling something about being too engrossed in the text. with a choked back laugh she shakes her head and bends down to pick you up, one arm under your back and the other under your legs. she can see your eyes widen over the edge of the pages before going back to what you were doing. once she reaches your door she not-so-delicately kicks it open before placing you on your bed, bending down to start helping you take off your slippers.
once she's done she starts to look up at you when she takes a quick glance around your room. she’s only been in here a few times, when you’d fall asleep hunched over a tome in the library and she had to gracefully put you in your bed. there isn’t much in here save for the bed and a simple closet. but her eyes catch on the tally’s you’ve been keeping on the wall, inching closer and closer to the three month mark.
she starts to second guess herself. why would you have any feelings other then basic ones of friendship with her, a barbarian ordered to prevent you from leaving a tower you were trapped in? as much as you tried to hide it it was clear how much you missed your home, your parents, the grand lifestyle in which you were raised.
she’s about to make a quick exit after asking if you need anything else when you're doing it again: staring into her soul like you apparently so enjoy doing.
“is there anything else you need, princess?”
you feel a sharp pull below your stomach, not expecting the effect her words would have on your body, only increased by the feel of her large hand still around your ankle, the heat radiating from her and hitting you full force as whatever shes feeling grows in intensity. you gently reach a hand up to feel over the ridges of her cut horn, down to the slit in her eyebrow and the shaved cut of her hair. the whole time she waits, chest rising and falling as she tries to keep her composure while your touch continues its journey down and down until your gentle fingers are grazing over the curve of her nose and her lips.
you finally kiss her, and despite how damned good it feels she can't help but feel bad about how desperately she wants so much more. with all the carefulness she can muster she kisses you deeper, pulling you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are on both sides of her body.
“karlach, please…” you whine out into the quiet room, eyes closed at the bliss of her pressing her body closer to yours, her mouth deciding to start kissing down your throat when you stop kissing her to speak her name. not like she seems to mind, for every time you moan out her nails dig into the fat of your hips through your dress.
“gods, i’m so glad i was right. knew you wanted me, i had hoped you did.” her words are muffled by a quick bite to your throat, her mind going blank at the high pitched moan you let out at the press of her sharp teeth into your skin. she sucks a few more marks into the flesh before dragging her tongue in a line from the bottom of your neck back to your chin, staring into your eyes once she stops.
“clothes. clothes off, now.”
she obeys your demand, standing straight up to start working at her boots before tugging off her shirt like it’ll burn her, your slight giggling doing nothing to help her speed. once she’s done she looks back down at you, rolling her eyes to the sight of you laid pretty on your stomach, arms cushioning your head as you wait for her to undo the basic laces on your dress.
“you really are a spoiled princess, huh?” karlachs deep laugh does nothing to stop the need growing inside you, and neither does the feel of her hands ghosting over your back.
“don’t be mad just because i know my worth, brute.”
you can only let out a gasp when her fingers dig into the fabric and rip it down the middle, yanking the ruined dress out from under you. she waste no time in getting you into the position she wants, spreading your legs apart and pushing you down by the middle of your back.
“if i’m being too rough you’ll tell me, yeah?” you weakly nod your head from its place in your covers, but with a small pinch to the left cheek of your ass you know that was the wrong answer. “give me words, baby.”
“yeah, yes, fuck i will.” you don’t have time to be embarrassed by the desperation in your voice, since as soon as the affirmation leaves your mouth her fingers are spreading apart the lips of your cunt and licking a hard slow line up into you.
if she wasn’t explicitly put inside this keep to keep you safe you would have thought she was trying to kill you in the most euphoric way possible. she eats you like she’s starving and isn’t sure when she’s going to eat again. you then remember that before you the last time she slept with someone else was back when she was free in baldurs gate, so a decades worth of longing and lust has been steadily building inside her body.
and now she’s going to take all of it out on you. the thought just makes more cum run down your legs, eagerly caught by the hot mass of her tongue.
you thought she’d be more talkative but instead she’s laser focused on your center; she spreads you farther and farther to get a better view of you, rubbing at your clit with her wide thumb before pinching it when you wiggle your hips back at her. she ignores your whines in favor for drawing those deep sounds from the inside of your chest when she takes the bud inside her mouth and sucks, pulling roughly until your legs start to shake.
“karlach, fuck ‘m close, ‘m close!”
“that’s it, come on princess, cum for me. cum so i can split you open around me and make you mine.”
and like she’s a god that commands it you do, back arching near painfully as your hands fist the sheets and your throat goes raw with the force of your moan bordering on a scream. the whole time she refuses to slow down, sucking even harder as you cum so hard you fear you’ll pass out.
a minute later your high starts to die down, slick covering your thighs and a light sheen of sweat coating the rest of your body. you knew you’d been pent up these past few weeks with only your hand and pillow for satisfaction, but that was…intense.
you feel karlach pressing light kisses to your backside, leaving more little bites and marks around your hips and up your back. she briefly settles her body on top of yours, and while the weight and feel of her sends fireworks up to your brain and down to your cunt, the warmth of her is making the sweat on your back feel even worse, a pout forming on your lips.
“mmm, you’re hot.”
“glad you noticed.” she laughs, the deep timber of it rumbling through her body and into yours. for a brief second, you think you’d like to feel it for the rest of your life. the thought of it only makes you more desperate, trying to burrow your face deeper into the bed.
“think you can handle another? or does the princess need her bath and rest already?”
with a newfound determination, you try your best to lift her off of you, pushing your hips back into hers in the hopes she’ll feel enough pity to give in and roll off of you. instead, you get the opposite, both of you moaning at the grind of your ass against her groin. and fuck, does she feel big. bigger than you've ever taken, and there were some heavy hitters at the tavern you'd frequently sneak out to. soldiers who were big and strong and looking for a pretty thing to make their troubles go away for the night.
and now you had the upgraded model of all of them combined in front of you, lips still covered in your cum as she stared at your body like she wanted nothing more than to get her hands on it and not let go until she was fully sated. you crane your neck back and up to kiss her, tasting yourself as the two of you share a sweet yet intimate kiss, tongues fighting for dominance before you give up and let her win, hips continuing to buck when her long muscle pushes its way into your mouth and starts to explore.
you can only hold on to your small amount of patience for so long, and karlach starting to suck and bite at your tongue isn't helping in the slightest. your hands desperately reach up to grab at her, any part of her you can reach. you grasp helplessly at her large hand that's gently wrapped around your throat, her claws just barely scratching the sides. she squeezes the tiniest bit and you nearly cum from that alone.
“aw, you’re so desperate for it, aren't you baby?” she chuckles, loosening her grip so you can give a weak ‘mhm’ in response. “tell me what you want and it's yours.”
you tilt your head back farther, big wet eyes staring back at hers and clearly having the desired effect if her lip bite and groan are any indication.
“just want you. want you inside me so badly it hurts.”
in under a second her strong arms are flipping you around like it is nothing, spreading your legs and holding them up for you to hold, your brain instantly following her lead and doing as she intends. while you do that her hands are busy pushing the fabric of her pants down her hips, throwing them to the floor with a huff before she settles back in front of you, staring at you as you stare at her. well, a part of her.
she takes a few seconds to revel in the attention you’re giving her, pretty eyes trailing up and down her body, spread out oh so obediently for her while you willingly give yourself to her to indulge in. she’ll have to remember to tell you how much it means to her in the morning because all she can focus on now is fucking you until the both of you pass out.
and so she fits herself into place, swollen thighs helping to keep yours apart as a red hand goes to align herself with your entrance, catching your eyes again and waiting for your enthusiastic nod before pushing herself inside. you moan at the combination of pleasure and pain, grip on your legs faltering as your head falls back onto the bed. karlach isn’t doing better, moaning at the same time as you at the feeling of finally getting to be inside you.
“gods-fuck,” she groans, pushing her hips further until she’s finally fit her entire length inside of you. you’re given a few moments to adjust, but impatient as ever you buck your hips, whining as despite the fullness it’s still not enough.
she smiles, resting her body on top of yours, throwing your legs over her shoulders, and kisses you before starting to thrust at a speed that makes your eyes cross.
there are no words to describe how it makes you feel, just like there are no words you’re able to speak as she wrecks you oh so beautifully and oh so roughly. the only sounds in the room are the rough plap plap plap’s of her thighs meeting yours, the wet sounds of her length coming in and out of you, and the squeaky moans being exerted from your chest that had your cheeks hot to the touch.
needing to ground yourself you reach out for any part of her you can, fight hand gripping around the thick keratin of her horn. your left can only grip onto the stub of her other one, but as your nails dig into the skin at the bottom of it a loud cry leaves the barbarian as she somehow makes her thrusts hit even deeper.
you can’t even begging to imagine what you look like, the (former?) esteemed and regal crown princess spread out and moaning at the top of your lungs as a blood war fighting tiefling barbarian fucks you six ways into next sunday. but with each passing minute of her dick pressing into that oh so good spot inside of you, you can’t find it in you to care. you deserve this. karlach deserves this.
and gods is it so hot to see how much she takes advantage. she has all the stamina of a titan, only momentarily stopping her brutal pace to make sure your weak legs stay up and apart. if you didn’t know any better you’d think she was in a trance, gaze fixed on the sight between the both of your legs.
with a gentle tug on her horns you bring her head back up to look at you, those beautiful amber eyes droopy as her mouth falls open in another moan. you whine and yank slightly harder, pursing your lips at her confused face when you realize you’re still unable to communicate anything other than squeaks.
she brings her lips to yours so fast your heads bump, both of you giggling into the kiss. despite the continued frenzied movements below its sweet and intimate, a soft and fuzzy feeling growing in your chest as she pulls away and starts to press short kissed to your lips and cheeks.
“feels so good, princess, you’re so damn good.” she pants, resting her head in the crok of your neck. the small bit of praise makes you whine and clench around her, her thrusts stuttering for a moment before she digs her knees harder in the bed to make up for the extra resistance.
“aww, you like that?”
you turn your head in the opposite way out of embarrassment, hoping she’ll drop it and bring her focus back to the view of how her cock gradually comes back sticker each time she pulls out of you. instead she nudges her forehead into your chin, bringing your eyesight back to her.
“you like to act like a brat but you just wanna be all good and pretty for me, don’t you? it’s alright, you can tell me.”
face scrunching, you scratch your fingers again at the stub of her horn and she lets out a mix between a groan and a laugh, quickly hitting her hand down to the apex of your thighs and rub harsh circles on your clit.
“oh fuck, karlach, fuck!” your words are high and slurred, mind going blank at the pleasure she forces onto you. you feebly try to slow her down, gripping around her wrist to try and calm the overwhelming pressure building up. “i can’t, can’t it’s-“
“cmon baby, can talk a bug game but can’t take it? do it for me, yeah?”
she doesn’t wait for your answer, cutting off any potential sass as her finger rubs faster and harder and she tilts her hips ever so slightly upwards so she’s pressing directly into your spot, and in under a minute you’re clenching around her and nearly losing your mind at the sheer force of your orgasm, too blinded by the pleasure to notice karlachs strained keen as her thrusts come to a halt and the warm feeling of her cum flows inside of you.
she allows you to bask in the euphoric peace between sleep and consciousness for a few minutes, pulling herself out of you and gently shushing you at your strained whimper. her fingers brush away some of the stray sweaty hairs from your forehead and pressing sweet pecks to your cheeks.
“need some help, hun?” she asks, already predicting your tired nod. without a hitch she gently picks you up, not wanting to disturb you from the peaceful state you were currently in. with all the grace of a ghost she carries your limp body to the small bathroom, turns on the enchanted tub faucet, and gently placed your in the warm water with her sat behind you.
you go in and out over the next hour. you remember the feel of her rubbing the sweat off of your skin, her gentle praises whispered into your hair, her body warming up your towel to dry you off before tugging your nightgown over your head. when she rests your body on tops of hers on your bed, with the gentle hum of her engine calling you to slumber, your final thought is that you wouldn’t mind staying in this tower a little longer.
for the next few weeks everything is nothing short of perfect. the introduction of romance only brings the two of you closer, never going more than an hour separated. its nice to pretend that the two of you aren’t trapped and are instead two lovers on a really weird vacation, spending your days eating magic food, reading books, and making love before doing it all again the next. day.
elisia surprisingly only visit once, silent as a ghost when she appeared in the doorway of the simple chamber room when karlach had decided to join you on a small couch while you were napping, staring at the both of you silently before huffing and leaving in a plume of smoke.
now, you've always been a deep sleeper, something that worried your parents in infancy but became something they were glad for when they heard comparisons to babies that cried all throughout the night. as soon as your head hit a pillow? it was lights out, your body quickly drifting off into a peaceful slumber until you were ready to arise exactly eight hours later.
when you finally start gaining those first few bits of consciousness you feel floaty, high off of what happened the night before, and your body ready to cuddle up to the warm and cozy tiefling still in bed with you.
but when your fingers extend to the soft sheets next to you they feel nothing. she's not there.
your body jerks up, grasping the shirts to cover your chest in a grasp for self-comfort as you look around your room, which is also empty.
you know logically she’s probably off for a short while to get something to eat or doing her daily rounds around the keep, your brain coming up with any scenario other than ‘regretted last night and left you in the dust.’.
before you can come up with more ways to drive yourself crazy, you can hear faint noises in the distance and below you - metal clashing, grunts of exertion, before the sound of someone hitting the wall so roughly that there's no way they didn't break any bones rouses you from your bed, quickly throwing a robe over your body before rushing down the spiraled stairs.
you let out a shrill shriek when a large airborne object nearly takes your head clean off as soon as your foot touches the last step, heart racing so quickly you fear you’ll pass out. your eyes focus on the space in front of you as you quickly try to figure out what danger has entered your ‘home.’
karlach, dressed only in her small sleeping top and trousers is rigid and staring straight at you, clearly disturbed by your scream and unmoving until your subtle nod lets her know you’re unharmed, she has a few bumps and scrapes including a long bleeding gash on her arm, blood trickling down until it reaches her fingers which are gripped around one of the large kitchen knives.
you don't need to ask what the danger is because it'd be hard to miss it even if you were blind. there's a knight standing just a few feet away from her, donned in shining silver armor and holding a similar shining steel sword. his helmet has been thrown aside to reveal an admittedly dashing face and blonde mane, the stereotypical look of a prince charming.
well. charming until he opens his mouth.
“princess y/n! finally, i have found you! your father the king has been contacting numerous kingdoms to track you down and bring you home safely. don't worry about this beast, i will slay it and you will finally be safe from your captors!”
“oh you want a beast i’ll show you a beast, pretty boy-” karlach moves to attack the knight before you step in front of her, placing a gentle hand on her chest to stop her in her tracks.
“how did you get in here, sir?”
“its sir garrick, your highness…” the man answers, eyes flicking between you and the hand you have on karlachs chest. you don't care to move it, though.
“and how did you get in here? you just.. walked through the drawbridge? no other obstacles?”
he nods. and though its an answer it does nothing to help you or karlach answer the question on your minds.
“do you reckon she’s dead?” karlach asks.
“i doubt we could be that lucky.” you roll your eyes and turn to face her, the woman relaxed at your touch but still on guard because the knight is still staring at the two of you like he just saw an owl bear pick up a lute and start singing. you do suppose this was rather odd, a lost princess found in a tower and gravitating to the giant barbaric tiefling rather than the knight in shining armor.
when you look into karlach’s eyes you can see a glimmer of hope inside of them, just the same as when you revealed your feelings for one another and when she’d tell you her dreams of returning to her home city again in the dead of night.
“well clearly she allowed this guy to get in here, or else he’d probably have a goats head and a cows arse by now-“
“excuse me, what’d you say?”
“which means she might allow us to leave, right? probably with some invisible strings attached?” karlach’s hand lightly grips your waist, her smile wide as she even considers the possibility of the both of you leaving.
and while you try your hardest to outwardly match her enthusiasm, your mind is racing with questions and hypotheticals. this woman had a vendetta against your father, went through the trouble to take one of zariels prized soldiers and have her watch over you day in and day out, and now you could just…walk out?
karlach goes to retrieve some proper clothing while you and the ever-so-confused knight stay where you are, the man thankfully answering every question you have while you wait for your companion to come back. you can tell he desperately wants to ask about your closeness, subtly reminding you that he's been trained to take on large threats in enclosed spaces, even fighting numerous devils in his travels. you ignore it as your mind continues to race with the possibilities of what could happen when you walk through that door, if this is all some sick joke and as soon as you walk through the doorway you’ll throw up your own guts.
but it fades when karlach comes bounding back down, fully geared and with a small bag slung over her shoulder, failing to hide the optimistic smile on her face. her large hand encloses around yours, and you cant help but to return the smile and grip her hand just the slightest bit harder.
“alright pretty boy, show us the way home.”
the knight hurriedly nods and starts towards the entrance. when you reach the large stone door, the one you've stared at so many times with despair in your heart, its indescribable the feeling you have when the sun hits your face and the sounds of birds tweeting fills your ears.
karlach is shaking your hand, smile wide and eyes bright at she looks up at the sky for the first time in a decade. as you start to walk she rambles about all the foods she cant wait to try, visiting her home city again, sleeping in a real bed for once, and all you can think is that you would stick yourself in that tower again just to keep her by your side.
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