#funny bitch. awful bastard (affectionate)

[aro-ortega]

i, and i cannot stress this enough, LOVE hadley

[partywithponies]

Glossary of media discussion terms I invented myself and then bring up casually as though you should know what I mean (AKA Tash Translation Guide):

The Inherent Eroticism of Solving Crimes Together:

the simple fact that the kinds of common character dynamics between the two leads of any given detective or mystery or police show (i.e. trust, devotion, talk of being "partners", sneaking around together in the dead of night) are often very easily read as romantic or sexual to fandom-brained people, even if that obviously wasn't the intention. Even if one of them's already married. Even if there's a 30 year age gap. Doesn't matter

The Holliday Grainger Effect/Holliday Grainger Syndrome:

Named for the actress Holliday Grainger and the MULTIPLE TIMES she has been cast as the less attractive/less desirable narrative foil to the more conventionally attractive and desirable female lead, as though we're all supposed to pretend Holliday Grainger isn't also an incredibly beautiful woman

The Milton Keynes Conspiracy:

Named for my joke conspiracy theory about the teen soap Grange Hill, in which I claim that within the Grange Hill universe, Milton Keynes isn't actually a real place, and that whenever a character disappears suddenly with the only explanation given being that they "moved to Milton Keynes", that was just code for them having been disappeared by the government for getting too close to The Truth™️, and every time something odd or unexplained happens or something major is just brushed under the rug and forgotten about, that was all just shady alien-related government activity and all part of The Milton Keynes Conspiracy. I tend to bring up The Milton Keynes Conspiracy whenever a show's canon, continuity, or geography makes absolutely no sense under close scrutiny and the only "logical" explanations left are things like time loops or aliens or cracks in space and time or government conspiracies.

Bastard Man (Affectionate) and Bastard Man (Derogatory):

A very important distinction. The sparknotes version is that a Bastard Man (Affectionate) is a Card Carrying Bastard who does it all with charm and charisma and confidence, knows they're a bastard and takes a twisted pride in it, and is at least funny about it, while the Bastard Man (Derogatory) is just whiny and sad and won't actually admit to being a bastard man, and usually the narrative won't admit it either and keeps treating him like a tragic hero no matter what. Has a tendency to just get away with stuff with no payoff and isn't even funny about it. Shares a lot of DNA with:

Sadboy:

My absolute least favourite character archetype, though that's purely subjective and there are still SOME Sadboys I like. I know that my opinions are not universal because part of the reason I have such a visceral dislike for them is because they're often tumblr sexymancoded and I cannot escape them in the show's tags. They're wet. They're pathetic. They're miserable. And they're pretty. Usually played by a skinny pale white boy. (Like I said. Tumblr sexymancoded). And because of this, the show and the fandom alike will expect you to ignore the fact they're an awful person and excuse everything they've ever done wrong. Look, you can't be mad at them, look how sad they are about it. Look at their big wet puppydog eyes. In fact they haven't done anything wrong at all and you're crazy for saying they have. It's everyone who was mean to him who is wrong and his wife/girlfriend is a bitch for getting mad at him. He's just a sad wet little meow meow. Ugh. Disgusting. When will [REDACTED ACTORS HERE] answer for what they and their characters have done to me.

[katzirra]

Cory and the glitter story time if you feel inclined?

God so the post is HERE for the aftermath lmao

Unfortunately you cannot see just how bad it was, and how MUCH of it there was because it was like... micro-nano glitter....

This happened NINE YEARS AGO....

@spinejackel is my dear friend Cory, and back when I actually DID my Ask Xigbar blog the round before this last one or whatever?? - I had a whole crew and we all hung out on the reg and had a good time yadda yadda. Got kinda fucked by some falling outs and me realizing I think I'm just a shoddy friend period but ya'know. THROWS SPARKLES IN THE AIR.

But Cory is the Xaldin to my Xigbar, and I had affectionately named him Mamadin and Mother Din. Because that poor bastard would be the parental voice of reasoning nhjgh.

I don't remember what started the SPACE SILK thing but it was like... a birthday or a follower celebration or something? And we just kinda kept doing shit with these massive silk scarves with space design on them and nude drawings and it was a Thing™

So I'm shopping online one day and I come across some space silky scarves one day. BRILLIANT, I think. And I buy one for him, our other friend Dacien who was my Papa Larxy, Dem, and myself. BECAUSE AW WE'LL MATCH, BESTIES~

I keep this a secret, I make cards for them all and start putting care packages together for them all and they are none the wiser amidst the Skype calls, the group hang outs or anything.

Amazing.

Mother's day comes up and I think I'm the funniest bitch in the world. I order Mamadin a fucking WORLD'S OKAYEST MOM mug - the most Xigbar of actions I can do, honestly. PERFECT. So I get to packing all my shit together for each of them and I in my impulsive thoughts see my tiny packets of glitter for a project I never did just... chillin'. I think HAHA wouldn't it be funny to sprinkle some of that in these... like.... what a Xigbar level shit move to do....

So I unfold the scarves, sprinkle some, and refold them and package them up.

EXCEPT MAMADIN. I JUST PUT THE WHOLE PACKET IN THERE AND JUST WAS LIKE 'YEAH. GOOD." nfgjkh

Fast forward to Cory streaming, and my package arrives, and I'm like BRO OPEN IT ON STREAM!" and he's EXCITED njghk and he opens it and is like taking it all out and I'm like BRO BE DRAMATIC GIVE IT A FLUTTER....

I have never been more amused and horrified by the beauty of the chaos that happened from that as a little purple cloud just FLUTTERED DOWN and he was like >:O.......... WHAT THE HELL...

His pictures do it no justice, it was EVERYWHERE. I FELT BAD BUT ALSO LIKE... THIS IS WHEN I'M IN MY 20'S AND THIS WAS CHAOS FUN.

The worst part is I think this is about the time he was starting to plan for moving states out to his dad's so like IT GOT IN THE CLOSET SOMEHOW, IT GOT IN SUPPLIES HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW, I GOT PICTURES MONTHS LATER OF HIM POINTING AT A DOG PAW GOING "DO YOU SEE THAT?" AND IT WAS THIS GLITTER THAT DOG HAD NO WAY OF HAVING ON THEM....

Like this glitter followed him states away...

But I love my Mamadin, and he was a really good sport for that and I would have understood if he never spoke to me again nhgjndghjk but it's a stupid fond memory.

[a-tomb-with-a-view]

if you wanna: boregallie + teachers + everybody knows/mistaken for a couple :))<3

wait fuck you already have a mistaken for a couple sooo boregallie + teachers + mutual pining? 2/2

Okay so this is supposed to be a two trope mash up but mama ain’t raise no bitch, so I’m gonna do all three and we’ll see what happens :)) (prompts are from this list, send me two and a ship and I’ll write a fic outline) it's below the cut bc I went a bit wild lol

Okay, so let’s set the scene. It’s in England bevahse the American education system absolutely fucking terrifies me and as much as I’ve figured it out for when the classes have no relevance, I cannot do that here, anywho, on e va.

Luke and Julie are absolutely the music teachers, they’re just vibing in the music building together, they totally jam out when they don’t have kids to teach, and they’re so glad their subject isn’t compulsory past year nine because they hate having to deal with cocky little bastards who think they’re the absolutely shit because they played the violin for a year when they were six, and then they just get to chill with the students who actually enjoy music.

Bobby is the chemistry teacher that everyone loves and clearly just wants to sleep for a year or get absolutely ratarsed. Reggie is the maths teacher everyone is slightly concerned about because he always seems like he’s had a little too much caffeine, but he will help you with your work and he’s an absolute gem. Alex is 100% an English teacher and he’s the local queer dad, has adopted half of his students, but not in the weird and mildly manipulative way, more in the “has tea and biscuits with his a level students and his classroom is always open at lunch if you don’t wanna go outside” way. Willie is a history teacher and he’s super excited about literally everything and people love him, but he’s also not got the patience for twats, who are swiftly dealt with, so his class is always super chill.

Now, there is so much pining going on here. Bobby and Reggie are friends, because the stem departments all hella coordinate to make sure maths topics that are needed for certain science topics are taught before those science topics are reached. Alex, Bobby and Reggie know each other because they’re friends with Luke. Willie and Alex are friends because the English and history departments also coordinate to make sure that students who might be covering a topic about, say, the Depression have a prior understanding, because they’ve covered it in History. The heart eyes that occur when they’re in the same room is probably actually deadly. They’re all pining so fucking hard, and Flynn is the only one with any actual clue what’s going on.

Anyways, because Luke and Julie are dumb and unhelpful (affectionate), the four of them don’t figure themselves out, they just keep pining, and becoming better friends, and pining. So, one time, the gang all stay over at Luke and Julie’s because they’re pals now, and adults should get sleepovers too, dammit, and clothes just kinda end up in a pile while they all wear oversized pyjamas bc they want to look cute. This results in Bobby coming to school in Alex’s blazer, which is clearly too big for him, and Willie just coming into Reggie’s class with no care to the lesson to return Reggie’s t shirt.

This is an English highschool, so obviously rumours are circulating in minutes, and Alex has already had four of his baby gays asking if he’s sleeping with mr Wilson from chem, and Reggie’s class would not shut up about the t shirt. The school are like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you’re in different departments, as lkng as things are appropriate we’re totally fine with you guys being together, but please, nothing on school grounds.

This is where Flynn steps in, because the boys are idiots, and she carries the gang braincell, along with the help of Nick and Carrie, because Nick, Bobby and willie are ace pals, and they’re all scared of Carrie. Anyway after lots of wheedling and whining and seriously shut up and sit down and realise you are in love with these three idiots, they get them to have an actual conversation, but because the four are morons, the conversation is essentially, ur pretty, wanna snog, and their friends watch in awe as they build an actual relationship out of that. They start pranking students so that no one has any idea what’s going on just because they find it funny. Ta da

Hope this was okay :))

[bubblegumlover99]

Tia's Bio ^^ (tw suicide and death mention)

Name: Tia Mitchell Species: Cat Age: 21 when the show started, 27 when the series ended, 52 in the 25 year reunion Height: A little shorter than Mordecai Eye Color: Hazel Hair Color: Dark brown with purple streaks Fur Color: Tan Outfit: It varies, but she usually wears a white tank top and jeans. Sometimes she doesn’t wear shoes, but when she does, they would be sneakers that turn to roller skates and jet boots, or high heels. Also known as: Tiana (her real name), Kitty boo (Benson), Night Cat (Detective name), Tee (her mom and her friends), Sweet T (Benson), Nerd (Rigby and Muscle Man), Kitty Puff (playfully from Benson) Date of Birth: July 22nd, 1989 Family: Tiffany (mother), Connor (deceased father), Clyde (stepdad), Leah (older twin sister by 5 minutes), Ryan, Chloe, Tony, Carol, Penny, Johnny, Kyle, Sam (all cousins as seen in another version of Family BBQ), Andy, Stanley (uncles as seen in another version of Family BBQ), Kimberly, Samantha (aunts as seen in another version of Family BBQ), Benson (husband in the finale), Stephanie (Tia and Benson’s daughter in the finale) Personality: Caring, playful, affectionate, tomboyish, smart, funny, aggressive, hot-tempered, adventurous, determined, sneaky, hard-working Friends: Mordecai, Rigby, Benson, Skips, Pops, Muscle Man, HFG, Thomas/Nikolai, Margaret, Eileen, CJ (stopped being friends with CJ after the events of 1000th Chopper Flight Party, but reconciled with her after they worked it out with Margaret and CJ), Techmo, Gary, Starla, Celia, Pam, Death (sometimes), Katrina Kittyhawk (My OC, only when Fifi isn’t around), Janet Sweetington (My OC), Megan (@paulichiwi’s OC), Becca Luna (@flufflepops OC), Fifi (eventually in the second half of Season 6) Enemies: Death (mostly), Fifi Quinn (My OC), Vivian (My OC, the daughter of Susan from Benson Be Gone), Natalia, Audrey, Gene, Party Starters Vince and Tommy, pretty much every villain she encounters xP Talents: Tia can run a little faster on all fours than Rigby, so she’s labeled as one of the fastest members of the park. Being a cat, she has retractable claws, sharp feline teeth that can be seen whenever she’s angry, enhanced agility and a fluffy, yet strong tail she can use to hang upside down on a tree branch. When she wears her shoes, they can turn into roller skates or jet boots with a click of her heels. Tia can also play the acoustic guitar and rap a few bars, since she mostly picks it up from Mordecai and Rigby. And despite having a deep, but still feminine voice, she uses it as an advantage to sing some low notes, but she can still sing some high notes as well, though not as high as Mariah Carey could go. xP Tia learned Chinese and Japanese in her school years and she can mainly speak Chinese fluently, which helped when she went to China with Benson in “Hello China.” Likes: Hanging out with her friends and family, playing games, drawing, singing, rapping with Mordecai and Rigby, playfully teasing Benson, Wing Kingdom, skating in the park, catnip, fighting her enemies, chocolate, soda, burgers, dressing up for Halloween, music with bass, breaking the 4th wall Dislikes: Asparagus, being insulted, the Unicorns, having to deal with Fifi, Mordecai and Rigby slacking off, CJ’s constant misunderstandings about Mordecai and Margaret, Quips and his jokes, Thomas (Death’s child), being criticized for the clothes she wears (her mom usually tells her that her pants were too tight, even though they weren’t to Tia), Muscle Man’s pranks, mostly dogs, cucumbers Fears: Bees, the dark, the thought of losing her friends and family, losing all of her 9 lives Catchphrases: “OHHHHHH!” “Hmm! Hmm!” “Yeah-yuh!” “Aw what?” “Ah sick!” “Dude.” “Bruh.” “YEET!” “Hell yeah!” “Fffffffffuck me.” (in frustration) “Well shit/fuck.” “Ohhh... my god!” “Suck it!” (in triumph) “(name), you son of a bitch bastard!” “You stupid (insult)!” “You wanna go, gumball? >:3” (to Benson whenever they start a playful fight) “I swear, if you (something), I’ll (threat)!” “Why me?!” (in despair) “WTF?!/WTH?!” “WHOOOO!!” “Sup?” “Shut up!” “Shut the

hell/fuck up!” “Dammit”

“I’ll kill

‘im!” “HOODY HOOOOOO!!” (sometimes uses it as a battle cry) Weaknesses: I don’t think she has any weaknesses atm, but yarn balls and laser pointers will distract her, no matter how hard she tries to resist it.

Extra info (if any):

Tia never had a graduation party after her senior year, because of a fight that happened between her and Fifi, but everybody turned their back on Tia ever since while Fifi pretty much got off scot-free. Nobody invited her to the graduation party, which lead to her deep depression and her near attempt to commit suicide by slitting her throat with her claws, but thankfully her sister Leah stopped her before she could do such a thing to herself. After that, Tia’s family and friends helped cheer her up, making her feel like she had her own graduation party, which made her feel so much better.

Her father was killed in a bank that Tia was trapped in during a robbery attempt when she was 19.

She secretly has a blanket from her childhood that she never let go of.

While not as strong as Skips, Mordecai or Muscle Man, Tia is strong enough to fight her own battles, and will not be afraid to stand up for her friends.

Tia is Autistic.

When Tia was 18, she worked as a delivery girl for the post office, but it doesn't go well when dogs were involved.

She actually had 6 fingers on each hand when she was a newborn, until the doctors took the extra fingers off, leaving a bump on the side of her pinkies.

In an envisioned episode of Skunked, instead of getting sprayed by the were skunk, Tia got bitten by it, yet the bite is still active in her even after she splattered tomato paste on her at the end of the episode. So she would use her werecat ability again in a different version of Real Date. Though Tia can’t use the ability on command; only when she’s completely enraged, that’s when she’ll turn into a werecat.

(If u want me to change anything, plz DM me :3)

[minsugasnerd]

Champagne

A/N: This is my first Jin scenario and to be honest I’m nervous af to even post this…

Genre: Fluff with slight angst

Word Count: 5,811

Playlist: She Said, I said - NLT / Beautiful - Wanna One / Falling In Love - McFly /  Mercy - Shawn Mendes / Cracked - Pentatonix / Take Your Time - Sam Hunt 

Summary: Everything seemed fine within your relationship with Ariella, until one day you walked into her apartment to find that things were not in the slightest bit okay. Being cheated on by the person you loved the most isn’t something you’d wish on your worst enemy.

Almost a year after you discovered that you weren’t the only girl in Ariella’s life, you finally let your guard down and let Kim Seokjin in. You couldn’t have been more thankful to have met him, he filled the empty space in your chest where your heart used to remain. Meeting him brought color and happiness back into your life.

[BaeBae Tae]: Please come tonight!

[Y/n]: I dunno Tae…I don’t really feel up to it.

[BaeBae Tae]: You always say that. If I have to, I will come and drag you from your hobbit hole!

You normally didn’t cave so easily but something told you he wasn’t lying this time.

[Y/n]: Fine…I’ll be there.

[BaeBae Tae]: FINALLY!

You couldn’t help but laugh, your newly best friend was always so persistent in trying you to come out of your shell and meet new people, do new things. He was that way since the first day you met him in his salon.

“Welcome! My name is Taehyung, what can I do for you today?” A very handsome man with blonde dyed hair asked, making his way to you from behind the register..

“Umm, I’d like to get my hair cut?” you timidly responded.

“Is that a question or is it a statement?” he retorted.

“I’d like to get my hair cut.” You cleared your throat and straightened your posture. He gave you a questioning look and you reiterated your statement. “Yeah, I’d like it to be cut.”

‘Let me guess, you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and are looking for something different, something new aren’t you?”

“How could you tell?” you asked, voice thick to your own ears. It had been three months since the awful day and you didn’t want to feel sorry for yourself anymore. You were tired of being sad.

“I’ve got a knack for reading people,” he mused. “Plus that’s what all girls do when they go through a breakup.”

“Well you’re not wrong so..” you trailed off.

“Say no more,” he gestured towards his wash station. “Come have a seat and spill the details.”

You left your bag at the front, hanging on the coat rack and followed him. Taehyung wrapped a vibrantly colored smock around your frame and you sat back on the chair, you felt more relaxed than you did walking in. With a turn of the nozzle, water started gushing into the basin and you rested your head against the fresh towel he laid out for you. The water felt like heaven on your scalp. It wasn’t too hot, nor was it too cold.

“How’s the water?” Taehyung asked as he raked his fingers through your hair.

“It’s perfect.” You sighed.

“Good,” he massaged some delicious smelling shampoo into your hair. If he continued doing that, you for sure would fall asleep. “So tell me, what did the bastard do?”

“Hmmm?” you hummed.

“What happened with you and your boyfriend?” he asked as he rinsed the suds from your hair.

“Well,” you began. “I walked into her apartment and found another girl half naked on her couch.”

“Her?” Taehyung didn’t even try to hide the surprise from his voice.

“Yes, her.” you said, recalling that day you were left completely broken.

Things had been absolutely blissful for the most part up untll a few months prior to your two year anniversary. Ariella became a bit distant, coming home later than usual, and stopped being affectionate. There were even times where she would turn down your sexual advances. You wanted to try and remedy what was plaguing your relationship. You thought you could do that by surprising her, walking into her apartment and dropping your trench coat to reveal the racy red lingerie you bought just for her.

You walked into something that made your heart drop to the pit of your stomach; a half naked girl on her couch.

“Umm who are you?” you tried politely asking the half naked girl on Ariella’s couch.

The unknown female was about to answer when you heard your girlfriend’s voice coming down the hallway. 

“You wanna join me in the shower?” She stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed you were in the living room. “Y/n what are you doing here?”

“We’ll I was going to surprise you but I ended up being the one who was surprised.” You stated crossing your arms waiting for some explanation. Hoping that this wouldn’t be true. That this somehow was a really fucked up dream you were having.

“Y/n, I can explain.” Ariella said as she made her way closer to you.

“How long?” you asked stopping her mid stride. When no answer came that’s when you started getting angry. 

“I asked, how long?! How long has this been going on Ariella?!”

“Y/n you need to calm down,” she  calmly stated. “Let’s talk outside yeah?” She tried ushering you out but you forceful stood your ground.

“Whatever you’ve got to say, you can say it in front of her.” You motioned to the girl that sat still watching everything unfold on the couch that held so many memories.

“Fine, ” she huffed.

“Answer me. How long?” you repeated your question.

“I don’t know, a while?” Ariella answered you.

“A while?” you askedincredulously.

“Well, three months to be exact.” A squeeky voice chimed in. You looked at the girl on the couch and then back at your girlfriend.

“Not helping Ash.” Ariella pointedly said while running a hand through her dirty blonde hair, the hair that you loved playing with while cuddled up in bed.

“Three months?” you asked thinking back to that time. “So while I was out of town for two weeks visiting my family and attending my Grandmother’s funeral? The very trip I asked you to come with but you couldn’t cause you couldn’t get out of work?”

“I’m sorry Y/n.” she apologized but you waved it off.

“I’m so sure, I’m practically deodorant,” you snorted. “How could you do this to me?” The material of your jacket did little to nothing to keep you from feeling the sting of your nails being dug into your arms.

“Look it just happened okay? It wasn’t supposed to but it did.” You couldn’t believe the shit spewing from her mouth.The very mouth that kissed you and made you feel the most pleasure you’ve ever experienced.

“It just happened? I can’t -,” you began but stopped yourself. “Pick.”

“Pick what?” Ariella asked.

“If you even have to ask that says something.” You shook your head. “Me or her?”

As the seconds passed and the question going unanswered, the air around you grew thicker. Stagnant even. Ariella looked back and forth between the two of you. You tapped your foot awaiting the answer.

“Can’t we just, ” Ariella started but you halted what she was about to say.

“Just what? What Ariella?” you questioned.

“Can’t we all try out being together?” She asked as she tried to bring her soft hand up to cup your cheek but you slapped it away.

“You’re being serious aren’t you?” you shook your head in disbelief.

“We’ll I mean think about it Kitten, the sex would be great.” she answered and Ash snorted from where she was on the couch.

“Real fucking classy Ariella. I’m done.” You said turning for the door.

“Kitten wait!” you felt a hand, ones you had grown accustomed to feeling running through your hair, roaming your body, holding in yours, grip your wrist.

“Let go of me.” you demanded as you tried to remove yourself from her grip.

“Come on now, don’t be like that.” she cooed.

“I said let go of me!” you screeched and when she didn’t listen you yanked out of her hold.

“Aren’t you being a bit too dramatic Kitten?” your newly ex scoffed.

“Don’t call me that, I’m not yours to call Kitten anymore.” You drew back your hand to bring to across her cheek. The loud pang of the slap made the room go silent.You could hear a pin drop if you listened carefully.

“Oh my god baby are you okay?” Ash rose from the couch and rushed to her side. Her attempts of comforting Ariella were pushed away.

When Ariella raised her head to look at you, you saw the anger in her eyes, the pink outline of your hand on her cheek.

“I’m done. I fucking hate you!” you screamed as you turned to leave.

“You say that now but we both know you’ll be back.” she cockily replied. “You came back once before.”

You stopped in your tracks remembering the little argument you had a few months into your relationship. She made a not so funny joke about your inexperience with girls. It made you feel so embarrassed and it stung so much that you walked out and didn’t return her calls or texts for a week.

“Come on baby you know I was kidding. I miss my Kitten.” that was the text that had you crawling back to her. Something you now regretted.You took one last look at Ash and Ariella before telling her confidently that you would never be back.

Months later you found yourself finally rising from the depths of the depression that came with the split. You decided that you were going to make some changes. That’s how you ended up in Taehyung’s salon.

“What a fucking bitch!” Taehyung finally chirped in after you told him about the breakup. “I can’t believe she would do that to you. You definitely deserve better honey, the finest champagne, not weak tea,” he paused the snipping of your hair to lightly squeeze your shoulder.

He had turned you away from the mirror to keep the style of cut a mystery, as you had left it up to him. You thoroughly wanted to be surprised and wanted to make a major change. The conversation between the two of you had grown silent, with the exemption of Taehyung humming along to whatever music was on the radio. It felt like an eternity had passed before he had told you he was finished. He brushed the lingering strands of detached hair from the smock before removing the article and setting it aside. He swiveled the chair to bring your reflection in sight, and you were stunned to say the least.

He had cut off all of your hair into an inverted bob. Never in a million years would you have thought you’d have a hairstyle like this. Your gaze on the mirror remained frozen until Taehyung nervously cleared his throat.

“You - you like it right?” he asked.

“I love it,” you said, voice barely reaching a whisper. You looked at him through the mirror and saw a boxy smile on his face. 

The bell on the door chimed as is opened, breaking the moment you were having.

“Taehyung-ah. I’ve got your food. Next time it wouldn’t hurt you to be a bit more polite when asking. You should eat before it gets cold.” A voice spoke out. You looked over at the door and saw a strikingly handsome man holding a bag of takeout food. He didn’t notice you until Taehyung had mentioned that he was with a customer.

“Jin-hyung thank you so much. I’ll eat it as soon as I’m done with this client.”

Jin’s head rose up and his eyes automatically locked with yours. It was as if time had slowed for a moment, the features on his face had softened when he took the sight of you in, a small gasp left his beautiful lips, and his lashes fluttered as he blinked, not knowing if you were real.

“Yah! Take a picture it’ll last longer.” Taehyung laughed.

Jin coughed to hide his embarrassment although he couldn’t hide the rose tint on his cheeks and neither could you. You got up from the chair to make your way to the register to pay, but much to your own embarrassment, you were caught in the awkward shuffle and dance with Jin. He was in the way of the register and stepped to the right just as you had and to the opposite side as well.

“Oops, here,” he stepped back and out of your way. “Sorry.”

Taehyung had moved behind the counter and silently face palmed as he watched the interaction. You reached into your bag to retrieve your wallet but was stopped.

“It’s on me,” Taehyung had said.

“I can’t let you do that,” you replied. “Let me pay.” He shook off your offer.

“Heartbreak haircut is on me.” He winked. Why was this stranger being so nice? You lowered your gaze as you hung your head. “Nuh-uh,” he placed his index finger beneath your chin and tipped your head back up. “Don’t hide. Show off your new ‘do. Show that you’re a strong girl who deserves better, who deserves champagne, not tea.”

His message left a confused look on Jin’s face but you knew exactly what he had meant.

“Thank you,” you earnestly told him. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“No need to thank me,” he hugged you from behind the small counter. “Now comeback in at least 4 weeks or so, so I can trim it okay?”

You nodded and made your way out the door, you had a feeling Taehyung was one of those people who was there to stay in your life.

You donned your burgundy bomber jacket and laced up your black boots, feeling confident in your outfit of choice for the night. You were never one for going out or partying, but you couldn’t refuse Tae. You were putting a final layer of mascara on when your phone rang. 

“Hel-,” you didn’t even get a chance to finish before your eardrum was assulted.

“WE’RE HEEEEEEEERE!” Taehyung shouted.

“Shit Tae! That really-,” you were cut off by the dial tone. “Rude,” you muttered.

After grabbing your keys and wallet, you made your way down the flights of stairs towards your awaiting ride. Little did you know that the car was mostly full, you were the last person they had to pick up for the night.

The front window rolled down to reveal Taehyung in the passenger seat.

“Hey gorgeous!”

“Hey Tae,” you beamed and reached for the handle on the door, but someone beat you to it. 

Jin had gotten out from behind the wheel to open your door for you. He was always like this, you weren’t as close to him as Tae but he treated you kindly. He was dressed entirely in black, black jeans that were ripped just in the right areas, a black shirt decorated with some obscure band’s name, and a simple zip-up jacket. You had run into him and talked to him a few times here and there at Taehuny’s shop but never had you seen him like this. 

“I got it,” Jin smiled at you. You thanked him and slid in next to a few people you hand’t met before. Jin closed the door after you were safely inside and walked in front of the car to resume driving.

“You must be Y/n? Tae has told us all about you.” The male with light brown locks said. “I’m Hoseok and this is is Yoongi.” He pointed to the man next to him that had mint colored hair. They both stuck out their hands for you to shake. Hoseok’s smile was infectious and you almost instantly felt comfortable with him.

“It’s nice to meet you Hoseok,” you replied as he dropped his hand from yours. “You too Yoongi,” you reached out to shake his hand as well.

“Lesssssssss go!” Tae spoke up from the front as Jin drove off into the night, something about his voice told you he had already indulged in a few drinks earlier. You couldn’t wait to see what was in store for the rest of the night.

Entertaining didn’t even cover what drunk Tae was. Apparently you guys were just going to meet up with a few other of their friends at some club, Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook. You discovered that Jungkook was barely old enough to get into said club and that Taehyung had quite the crush on Jimin, If Jimin hand’t known before this night, he sure did now. You were awestruck with how handsome he was.

You sat sipping on your strong drink at the table that was reserved for the group while almost everyone else was on the dance floor. Namjoon and Yoongi were chatting up some girls at the bar. Hoseok was dancing with some girl, well more like this girl was grinding on him but he didn’t look like he minded, not one bit. Jungkook was positioned at the booth with the DJ, you guessed music was his thing. Jimin and Taehyung kept going back and forth, from the dance floor to the bar to grab a drink and then resume dancing with each other, every now and then they would lean in for a peck on the lips. You had to admit, they made a really cute couple.

Jin had long since disappeared, leaving you by yourself. You weren’t lonely nor was it like you weren’t having fun. In fact watching others have fun was what you loved the most, it was almost like your own version of having fun. 

“Y/n! Come dance with meeeeeee!” Taehyung whined.

“I’m good but thanks Tae.” you declined.

“Pretty please?!” he continued whining.

“He won’t stop until you do,” Jimin piped in with a laugh.

“Jiminie is right,” a voice said from your left. You looked back to see Jin right behind you. “Go have fun, dance a little.”

You couldn’t argue at this point, not when Taehyung had already grabbed your hand and dragged you onto the dance floor.

The song had switched to The Boom by T.Mills. The loud bass filled your ears, so loud so that it tuned out everything else. You moved your body fluidly with the beat as did Jimin and Tae. You weren’t the best dancer nor did you do a whole lot of dancing but right then and there, you let loose. You turned your head towards the table and  saw Jin staring straight at you. Normally you would have shied away from a persons gaze but you didn’t, not from his. Before you knew it, the song had ended and morphed into another. You kept dancing for a few more songs before complaining that you were tired and needed some water. Taehyung had whined but let you go back to the table.

“Having fun?” Jin asked you as you sat.

“Very much so,” you laughed. “I can’t keep up with those two. They tired me out.”

“They tend to have that affect on most people,” Jin laughed along with you. 

You fanned yourself, obviously heated from dancing.

“You need something cold to drink?” Jin asked signaling the waitress over.

“A water would be nice.” You replied as you dabbed at the sweat on your forehead with a napkin.

As the waitress got closer, her face became clearer. It was someone you didn’t expect to see ever again. Ash.

“What can I get for you?” she asked all too sweetly as if she wasn’t the one who helped turn your life u[upside down.

“Can we get two waters please?” Jin answered for the both of you.

“Sure thing! I’ll be right back with those,” she smiled. It made your stomach queasy.

Concern ran over Jin’s face when he turned back towards you. “Are you okay?”

“I just don’t feel so good all of a sudden.” You answered him.

“Do you want me to gather everyone so we can go?” He said slightly standing up.

“No I don’t want to make them leave. i’ll just call a cab or something.” you replied, reaching for your phone.

“No let me take you home. I’ll just let Namjoon know, he can take the others home in his car.I’ll be right back.” He got up and made his way to Namjoon at the bar. You watched as he duck his head down to hear Jin more clearly. In less than a minute Jin was making his way back to you.

“Okay everything is good. Namjoon said he would take care of getting everyone home.” Jin told you just as Ash came back with your waters.

“Is there a problem?” She asked with a snicker.

“She doesn’t feel well so I’m going to take her home.” Jin kindly explained,

“Oh no! I hope you feel better.” Ash said but you could tell she was being sarcastic. You glared at her, you two had a stare down before Jin told you that the valet brought his car up to the front.

The drive home was silent, except for the directions you gave him and the slight hum of music coming from the radio. You were fighting the urge to cry all the way to your place.

Pulling up to your apartment, he put the car in park and jumped out to open your door once again. He was a true gentleman. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

He followed you wordlessly to your door, you really didn’t feel like being alone so you stopped before unlocking your door to ask Jin if he’d like to stay for a cup of tea or something.

“Sure, I’d like that Y/n,” he smiled as he kicked off his shoes by the door.

“If it’s alright, I’m going to go change.” You told him as you put the tea kettle on the stove.

You walked to your room and shut the door. You felt your strength leave as you let the tears flow. You knew you had deserved better than what Ariella did and were over the whole thing but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. You made your way to the bathroom to rid your face of your now smeared make up. From the kitchen you could hear the kettle whistle and the thuds of cups against the counter as Jin got the tea ready. You quickly got changed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie, your comfort clothes.

“I’m sorry I took so long,” you apologized as you walked into the kitchen, his back was to you and he was steeping the teabags in the hot water. 

“No need to apologize,” he turned his head a fraction towards you. He was alarmed to see the telltale signs of someone crying on your face. “Are you okay?”

You couldn’t find your voice, your shoulders began to shake from the sobbing. A gentle pair of arms wrapped around you. Jin rubbed soothing circles on your back. “Shhh. It’s okay. You don’t need to cry, someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be crying.”

You had stayed like that for some time before Jin suggested that you go lay down and he would bring you the tea.You walked back towards your room and curled up under the blankets. Jin slipped through the crack in the door with your cup and sent you a look asking if it was okay that he sat down next to you.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said. “I just hate seeing you cry.”

“It’s a long story,” you told him.

“I’ve got time.” he replied.

“Until Ariella came into my life I didn’t know that I was into girls as well as guys...”

At some point in the night, the two of you had fallen asleep. You woke to find yourself snuggled up to Jin and he had his arm wrapped around you. The sight of this handsome man sleeping had your heart warm and so full. How could he be even more beautiful while asleep? After having told him everything about Ariella and Ash he explained that things happen for a reason. That maybe it was the universe’s way of showing you what her true colors were and that you deserved so much better. Everything he told you, comforted you more than anything else could.

It was as if he could feel your eyes lingering on his face so his own slowly opened. A smile so bright appeared on his beautiful face.

“Good morning,” you whispered. Without hesitating or thinking, you pressed your lips against his.

“It is now,” he chuckled. “What was that for?”

“Last night. For letting me vent about everything that happened. And because I wanted to.” you shrugged which made him laugh again.

“No need to thank me, as long as I’m around I’ll be here for you.” he gave you a slight squeeze. His phone that sat on your nightstand started ringing and he excused himself to answer it.

“Dad? Yeah no problem. I’ll be there.” He rose from the bed. “I’m really sorry but my dad needs me to help him at the restaurant so I’ve got to go.”

“You don’t have to apologize Jin,” you told him as you got up and stretched. You walked him to your front door and thanked him again. “I - uh-,” you tried finding the right words. “I really enjoy your company.”

“Is that right? Well maybe you’d like to go on a date with me?” he asked with the most hopeful look on his face.

“I’d really like that.”

You exchanged numbers before he left. You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face all day. You stayed in your pajamas and watched movies all day. You pondered how the rest of their nights went when you received a text from Tae.

[BaeBaeTae]: Why did you leave so early last night?

[Y/n]: Because I ran into Ash...she ended up being our waitress.

[BaeBaeTae]: Oh shit! What happened?

[Y/n]: She was just snarky and I said I didn’t feel good so Jin took me home.

[BaeBaeTae]: Is that so? And then what?

[Y/n]: Nothing. We fell asleep and he had to go cause his dad needed him.

[BaeBaeTae]: Zzzz...Boring

[Y/n]: And then he asked me out on a date.

[BaeBaeTae]: Fucking finally! That boy has been drooling over you ever since you first walked in the shop. You’re not the only one who got asked out ^_^ Jimin asked me out this morning!!!

[Y/n]: Nuh-uh! Shut up! Ayeee get it!

[BaeBaeTae]: I already did!

[Y/n]: TMI TAE!!!

You couldn’t help but laugh at Taehyung. You had been texting back and forth for a while before you started feeling sleepy again. Grabbing the blanket on the back of the couch you curled up on the couch to take a nap. Your phone buzzed one last time, it was from Jin.

[Jin]: How does Friday sound?

[Y/n]: Perfect :)

[Jin]: Can’t wait!

The week passed by quicker than you thought and before you knew it, Friday had arrived. You were nervous as this was your first date in a very long time. When Jin picked you up he told you that he too was nervous. He had planned the whole thing out, he wanted it to be simple yet fun. After having dinner at a dumpling house, he drove the two of you to a park where a big screen was set up and other couples were there, sat on laid out blankets with pick nick baskets between them. Jin opened your door like usual and then removed a few blankets of his own from the back.

“What is this?” you asked.

“Movie night in the park,” he said as you two began walking towards the grassy area. “I remember you told Tae that you love watching movies at the drive in. This isn’t a drive in but-,”

“It’s perfect.”. you beamed and intertwined your fingers with his.

When you reached the crowd of people, Jin picked out the best movie-watching spot and laid out the blanket. Both of you had sat down, talking a bit before the movie started. A vendor that was selling popcorn, candy, and drinks from a push cart came around and asked if you guys had wanted anything. Jin purchased a medium popcorn, a chocolate candy for you, and two sodas. So far this date was the best you’ve ever had.

The movie of the night was A Werewolf Boy. It was about an elderly woman who returned to visit the cottage she used to live in when she was a girl which was where she met and taught a wild boy how to behave as a human being. Sometime during the movie, a slight chill swept over the park making you shiver. Jin had noticed and brought you onto his lap and wrapped the other blanket around the both of you. His scent was so intoxicating you almost couldn’t focus on the movie. As hard as you tried not to, you ended up crying a little in the movie especially at the end. When it was over, everyone erupted in applause for the wonderfully directed film.

“You ready to go?” he asked as he helped you stand before collecting the blankets. Once again you took his hand in yours and you gave it a small squeeze. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Yes I did. I really enjoyed the movie.” you replied as you walked back to his car. Once seated inside Jin turned the heat on.

 “I’m glad you did, I did too. I was so nervous that you weren’t going to like it or that I was going to mess something up.” he confessed with a slight blush.

“It was perfect Jin. Tonight was the best night I’ve had in a long time.” you leaned over the console to kiss him. “Thank you.”

He was the perfect gentleman and walked you to your door before placing a quick peck on your cheek.

“Good night Y/n.”

You walked in and closed your door. You leaned against the door for a moment recalling the whole night and your heart fluttered. Were you developing feelings for him? You weren’t sure if this was going to go anywhere but you were hoping it did. As you got ready for bed your phone rang 

”Hey Tae,” you answered.

“Sooooo? Spill it! How was your date?” he excitedly asked.

“It was perfect Tae, it really was.” you sighed and told him everything that took place on your date. He told you he was happy for you, truly happy. In return he told you how things were going with Jimin, at the end of their date, which was a few days prior to yours, Jimin had asked Taehyung to be his.

“Look at us all happy and shit! We deserve it Y/n.” Taehyung gushed.

“We sure do Tae.” you agreed.

Days turned into weeks, and one date into a few more before Jin had formally asked you to be his girlfriend which you had happily agreed to.He made you the happiest you’ve been in a very long time. He showed you how to love yourself and others again. He showed you how beautiful you really were and how you deserved to be treated like a queen.

Months had passed, winter turned into Spring and you two were celebrating your sixth month anniversary. Once again, he planned the date, since he was always so good at it you decided to let him take control of that. He took you to a very upscale and fancy restaurant, you ate dinner by candle light and soft romantic music.

“You know you didn’t have to do this Jin,” you confessed while taking a sip of champagne.

“It’s our anniversary Y/n, I wanted it to be special.” He replied.

“I know but, I would have been fine just sitting at home eating take out and watching trashy TV.” you explained.

“Really?” he shot you a questioning look.

“Of course, I’m fine with anything as long as I’m with you. Be it, here or at home relaxing.” you told him.

“That’s why I love you,” he beamed. Your heart went crazy with those words, you had never exchanged ‘I love you’s’. You wanted to take things slow.

“You love me?” you blushed.

“Of course I do, Y/n. I’ve loved you since the first date.” He mused.

“Oh,” you blushed even harder.

“I mean how can one not love someone as beautiful as you are? You make me so happy.” He confessed.

“Kim Seokjin,” you reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers in his. “I think I’ve loved you for just as long. You’ve taught me how to love again and I’ll never be able to thank you for that.” His eyes were glimmering with pride.

“You deserve to be loved to the fullest and to love to the fullest. Happy six months gorgeous.” He raised his glass to yours.

“Happy six months handsome.”

The two of you ate and drank a bit more with light conversation. After Jin had paid the bill, he helped you with your jacket. You both thanked the hostess and bid her a goodnight. Jin held the door open for you and you walked out into the lukewarm night air. You walked hand in hand for a few blocks enjoying each others presence when someone came into your sight.

“Ahhhh look who it is Y/n and her soon to be ex.” Ariella spit out.

You stopped dead in your tracks and Jin asked if you were okay. 

“That’s Ariella.” you whispered.

“Let’s go,” he said and tugged on your hand.

“It’s okay, she can’t hurt me anymore.” you told him.

“What are you his pet now? He tells you what to do?” She quipped.

“Ariella,” you nodded your head at her. “This is my boyfriend Jin.”

She looked him up and down and scoffed. “I bet he can’t make you happy like I can. Can’t please you like I can.”

“That’s enough!” Jin shouted.

“It’s okay Jin, she can say what she wants, she can’t hurt me anymore. And remember, I’m yours.” you calmed him.

“That’s soooooo cute! But we both know that’s a lie. We both know you’ll come back to me.” She laughed.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong Ariella. I love Jin and unlike you, I know how to be faithful, and you,” you looked at her with disgust. “You don’t. You used to be my cup of tea, but now,” you looked at Jin. “Now I only drink champagne.”

“Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to enjoy the rest of our night. Have a good life.” Jin stated as you both walked away from a very stunned Ariella.

“I’m so proud of you babe,” Jin said as he bent down to kiss you.

“Thank you, I am too. I love you so much Jin, thank you for being my everything.” you told him.

“I love you too Y/n” Jin smiled. 

You never thought you were going to love again, but then Jin walked into your life at the right time and showed you what real love was.

A/N:*runs and hides* sooo cheesy and badly written but...I really hope you guys enjoyed it! I worked hard on this as it was my first Jin fic. Thank you for reading!!

[masked-fox-creations]

Rick and the No Good, Very Bad Grammys

This is what I'm contributing to the fandom today.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We have a lot of fun on our chat. This is for @lynsleigh

Summary: Rick is not happy with the winner of best album at the Grammys. 

Pairings: Rick/Stan (stanchez)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Uh, some cursing? Honestly this is incredibly tame. 

ao3 link

“Cheating bastards!” Rick cursed, jumping to his feet.

Stan looked over at him, preparing for the other man’s tirade. He should have known Rick would be steamed if Beyoncé didn’t win at the Grammys; of course he actually hadn’t expected this scenario. She was a powerhouse after all, and her songs were catchy he had to admit. Rocket had been stuck in his head for a week now since Rick wouldn’t stop singing it.

“I-I-I can’t believe this shit! Who the fuck even knew Adele put out an album last year?”

“I don’t even know who she is.”

“She did Rolling In the Deep,” Rick explained, glaring at the screen where some white woman was being handed an award.

“Doesn't ring a bell. She the chick who set the rain on fire?”

Rick turned to Stan, eyebrow quirked.

“H-how do you know that stupid ass on but not the one she’s famous for?” Stan shrugged.

Suddenly there were several dings in rapid succession. Rick dug into his pocket, pulling out a phone Stan recognized as his multidimensional cell. He watched as Rick’s face scrunched up.

“That Miami fuck.”

Rolling his eyes Stan asked, “What did Miami Rick do now?”

Rick shoved the phone in his face. Stan moved his hand back a fraction so he could actually read it.

“‘Hey motherfuckers’.”

“U-u-use the right inflictions or don’t, don’t read it out loud at all.”

“Fine. ‘Hey motherfuckers! Guess who was at the Grammy’s to see Beyoncé win? One of the greatest moments of my life!’”

Attached was a photo of Miami Rick grinning wide, behind him the stage where Beyoncé was holding that golden statue. Miami Stan was off to the side, rolling his eyes affectionately at his Rick.

“Huh, so he’s in a timeline where Beyoncé won. Good fer him.”

“‘Good for him’? H-h-hell no! That, urp, asshole is shoving his better timeline into my face! Smug bastard. And look at these others!”

Stan sighed but allowed his boyfriend to rattle on about the other Ricks. Apparently most of those who were in a Beyoncé-victory dimension were shoving it in the others’ faces, because of course they would. They were Ricks, after all.

“Even that John Wayne, tobacco chewing, tin can shooting fuck has a-a-ah winning Beyoncé.”

“You mean that cowboy Rick? The one with the hat who plays acoustic guitar? He’s pretty attractive.” Rick gave him a sour look. “What?”

“As I was saying, this is ridiculous. N-none of th-urp-ese other chumps deserve to be in the better timeline. They don’t appreciate her as much as me.”

Stan eyed the shirt Rick was wearing—a giant image of Beyoncé’s winking face. Definitely proof of his admiration for the singer. Stan made a mental note to ask other versions of himself to see how many Ricks were decked out similarly. He should probably keep that from his Rick, though.

“Listen, babe, I know you’re mad that Beyoncé lost to the chick who’s pieces are falling apart and burning—”

“Okay, you’re fucking with me.”

The phone dinged again and Rick examined whatever message he got. Stan watched the fury spread across his face.

“What—”

“Doofus Rick,” he explained, tapping away furiously on the small screen. “Th-that shit eating son of a bitch just invited everyone whose Beyoncé lost to wa-urp-tch her win in his dimension. Can you believe this guy?”

Stan opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly Rick’s cell rang and filled the room with Video Phone. He petulantly answered, putting the speaker on. Beyoncé’s dulcet tones were replaced by Doofus Rick.

“Hi there, B-218!”

“Doofus.”

“I-i-it’s J19-Zeta-7, actually. I just wanted to invite you to my dimension. I understand how awful it must have been to see Beyoncé lose, she really deserved that Grammy!”

“I know.”

“But I recorded her win! We could make a big day of it, invite some other Ricks and their Stans, and experience that wonderful moment together. I have plenty of popcorn, and my Stan is already putting homemade cookies in the oven.”

“Why th-the fuck would I want to put myself in the same room as you and a bunch of other assholes to watch what should have happened in my dimension? Even I’m not that much of a masochist.”

“Aww, geez, B-218, I hope I didn’t offend you. I-I just wanted to spread some joy. Everyone here is so happy for Beyoncé. She even got a congratulatory tweet from president Hilary—”

Rick hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

“That’s it. L-urp-ee, we need to find one of the dimensions where Beyoncé rightfully won and kill those versions of us, then take their places. For Beyoncé I’ll put up with Florida.”

“No.”

“‘No’? What the hell do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I mean, I’m not leaving my family and neither are you.” Rick rolled his eyes, crossing his arms like a child.

“Fine, we’ll kill all of them.”

“Rick, sit your ass down,” Stan said, grabbing the end of his lab coat and pulling him back onto the couch. “We’re not taking over another Rick and Stan’s life. I’m too old for that shit.”

Rick was pouting at this point; Stan resisted the urge to say anything, not wanting to further his ire. Though it was a little funny. Alright, a lot.

Rolling his eyes Stan leveled with him, “How about we just mess with the other Ricks? I don’t know, spray paint all the windows in the Council of Ricks, pee in Miami Rick’s fountain. Oh, let’s steal some Rick’s tv. Doesn’t that writer one own a huge flat screen?”

Rick had perked up as Stan listed felonies, frown replaced by an exuberant grin.

“Th-that’s perfect, Lee! We’ll hit all those bastards in the brighter timelines.”

Stan smiled to himself as Rick planned who’d they hit. He even took his phone back out to create a soundtrack for their evening—Beyoncé filled, of course.

“Don’t forget Doofus Rick’s dimension, babe. Cookies sound good.”