#fun part of this is making shit make sense

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[hellincarnation]

Hello! This is a message to the anon who has been sending very haphazard, messy and increasingly nonsensical hate. They are pretty ew.

Not sure if cringe anon is the same as this one, but if you are, here’s a quick thingy. Sure, I’ve played with your message, adding humour as a lovely way of mockery to you. But there is a line to be drawn, I’m fine with you making snarky comments. I make snarky comments, but I draw the line when you start insulting whole groups of race. And….insulting us with the most generic types of comments.

Seriously?

That is the most ridiculous pseudo hate ever.

I’ll remind you that the term “asians” include Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, Viet, Malaysian, Singaporean, Filipino, Indonesian, Saudi Arabian, Indian, Bhutanese, Pakistani, Lebanese and so many more groups of people.

You’re gonna have to be the most dumb, blind and ignorant piece of filth if you think all of those groups of people look the same. If you really believe that, you’re bigoted and ill informed.

Also. OF COURSE SOME GROUPS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE A COMMON ANCESTOR LOOK THE SAME, OH MY GOD THE STUPIDITY!

And if you are part of Asia and you’re gonna whine like “I was just making a joke!” This is not a joke if it hurts people, yes this is a popularised statement but to many people, it is not funny. It is only a joke when EVERYONE is laughing. So shut up about that.

And then here

….that’s just so wrong.

First of all, I’m ethnically Chinese, which means my great grandparents originally came from china. I was not born on the mainland, nor was my parents, nor was my grandparents. And where I am currently living, consumption of dog meat is illegal. Even in China, the amount of dog meat consumption is drastically decreasing.

That is an old, outdated, stereotypical, insulting way to refer to Chinese people. Not only that!

You also might refer to people from Cambodia, India, Indonesia, Ghana, Laos, Vietnam, Nigeria and Switzerland. Unless you’re saying I’m from all of those countries, your statements makes no fucking sense.

I’ll wrap it up, in the end, I may laugh, joke around, make fun of such comments, but I draw the line when it could potentially hurt bigger groups of people.

My blog is a place to talk to my friends, I’ve made many good ones here, Mireya, Zahrawr, Tanaka, Jeah, Riyana, God, Tamanna, Etc

To all of you, I’m very grateful for getting to meet you.

To this Anonymous person: if you come out and say “oh it’s just a joke” or reveal that you are Asian too, shame on you. Out of all people, you should know how bigoted and disgusting those statements are. If you aren’t asian, even worse. You’re a stupid, ignorant and pathetic piece of shit who thinks it’s okay to send these types of messages. You disgust me.

Moving on, I will not tolerate any more of these types of posts, I will be deleting them on sight. I won’t be turning off anon, since there are lovely anons who like to send nice messages. But I will not be posting anymore of these stupid, idiotic and hateful comments, especially that could potentially hurt a large number of people.

Fuck off, leave all these people alone, leave me alone, this is not a joke, it’s not okay to be spout this bullshit so freely.

Update: I’ve blocked anon ;)))

If this turns out to be anyone I’ve tagged, I will be very very disappointed in you.

@jeahreading @tamanna-and-her-struggles @shinchansbitch @im-on-crack-send-help @iamgayforyourmom1510 @mentallyunstablequeen101 @momhwa117 @zeherili-ankhein @your-dazzling-sun @schrodinger-ka-billa @abyssmita @cafffeineconnoisseur @byproduct-of-hades @lotuseaterwhowistlesthedark @mireyaaaaaaaaa @circe-butbetter @mi-stress-of-chaos @lyrebirb @depressed-bi-twerking @hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe @lesbianpoetess @unhinged-as-hell @debacleofdaemons @sunshinerainbowsandlollipops @celesteablack @evry1h8s-me @transienctly-translucent @priimadonnna

[charbeloved]

you make me cry happy tears prometheus /pos

This'll be in chrono order for our mooting days that i remember or believe

Wave 1

@mysteriouswolf @geodetojoy [ + @royallygray but you came after tapes and cloud ]

I love you guys so, so much, you are my life and my family. You guys were part of my first wave of mutuals, and the first to reach out and interact. I still have all three of you guys' song covers in my playlist, and even if I wanted to escape you guys I'd have to scrub my computer and my phone clean to do so.

G, Prometheus, GMan, Geo, you are one of the most determined and most hard working people I know. Even though you've gotten a lot busier and shit you're still checking in with our group chats on discord and such.

Myst, Icarus, Mysti, you are one of the most caring and considerate people I know. I miss you, but I also know that you need to take care of yourself and even though you're on break (from discord atleast) you still took the time a week ago(?) to check in and ask how I was.

Roy, Daedalus, even though we've barely interacted I can tell you've got a creative mind, and that you're a caring person. I know you probably have a lot going on in your life now but you've still occasionally reached out and pop the 'how are you guys' in the gc of just me you myst and g.

Gradual 1

@rantapes @cloud-has-fallendown @glowinggayduo

I don't even remember how became moots, who followed who first, but from our little interactions I can tell you three are amazing and funny and just overall just kind people. I've been mutuals with Cloud and Falle since before either of them changed their usernames, actually, and any time I see you three in my activity I'm always really happy.

Wave 2

@naris-606 @ruby-raider ( @host-the-radio-guy you came after The Askblr Wave )

Moather, Mama, Uncle Jimmy, you three are genuinely like parents to me (yes, even you Jimmy. Even if I call you Uncle.)

Lyn, Moather, you got me to be so much more active on Tumblr just with your silly little roleplay blog. If you didn't have Ask-Grian then I would certainly not be here today, you've helped me so so much and I genuinely would never have been so happy right now had qe never met.

Nari, Mama, you were one of the first of Askblr to follow me and the first to get me on Discord, I believe, unless Lyn got that first. You're so sweet, so kind, so caring, and I just can't help but see you genuinely as a Mama.

Jimmy, Timmy, whatever I end up saying or typing, you're so kind and you have an amazing sense of humor. I miss being able to call with you, and being able to just have the sillies againbut life must life and I figure you're in A Time.

@aurum-the-yapper @gh0styfr13nd @levidoesstuffs

You three are my siblings, whether you like it or not.

Aurum, I don't even have a nickname for you like I do the rest. Every time we interact it's so fun. When I first joined Askblr you were one of them, one of the famous people that I looked up to and that I didn't want to scare off.

Sam, Ghosty, you're like an older brother to me. I know we'll sometimes act as if I'm the older but I'm definitely not. I used to look up to as an Idol of sorts but you're definitely not idol material, not for me anymore, cause you're my brother and can't ever get rid of me.

Levi, Listener, you're a funny a person and I' so glad I met you. You beat all my friends at telling me happy birthday at the exact time I was born and it was just too funny, since I believe that was genuinely our first interaction and it was you yoinking the title of Ultimate Best Friend from the ones I actually talked to on the daily- and now you're my sibling. Even though we talked nothing about it. You're my sibling now.

@cat-in-the-desert @cookiekit1 @iwillcausechaos

You two came in during the wave of Askblr mods following me, Cat being RG mod I believe? I'm not sure- but either way, we've only interacted a few times. I'm sure you three are amazing people!

Gradual 2

@mcskedprisoner @charlybvnny

You two are from the whole Ask DSMPblr yeah?-

Uhm, yeah, so, you guys? I get scared yo interact with either of you cause in my brain you are like big mcyts. Happens with anyone i come across on tumblr im realizing-

IRLs

This bit is in order of when I met them IRL

@xoxii-is-asleep

Xoxii, hi, hello, we looked eachother in the eyes and laughed about mustard yesterday. Know youre my favorite cousin, love you

@jooberzzz @hermit242 @silly-the-shrimpy

You three were part of my first friendgroup that's ever gotten tumblr, you three are some of the reasons I'm still going.

Joob, Telemachus, Joobia Woobia, Child #1, you were the first one I 'adopted.' I love you like a mother loves her child and I need you to know that.

Hermit, Child #2, I miss you so, so very much. If you ever come back to Discord, or if you see this, I'll always have an account on discord named Charbeloved that you can friend.

Tater, Circe, Child #3, you're in the same bout as your sister to me. Stop getting taller. /lh

@theobs3ssivepuppeteer

Darling, Puppet, Dove, Light of my life, 3rd life Scar to my 3rd life Grian, Penelope to my Odysseus, my air, my universe, my everything. I miss going to school qifh you, I miss your hugs and your voice (i say as im about to be on call and mc with you) i love you.

You're the most caring, most considerate and amazing person I know, you're so sweet, hun, you're sweeter than dark chocolate covered on frosting and actually maybe not because just the thought of that is making my teeth hurt

@b0b3rty

Bob. You. YOU ARE YOU. i dont.

My qords are gone when it comes to you wait-

Idols

@clearlyclueless @cyncerity

You two.

Cyn, you got me into reading fics (now i write and i can thank you for that) and I look up to you dearly. Any time I see you in my notifs I go insane, honestly-

Clueless. Istg you made fics. I. I swear. Thats why i followed you.

For your fics.

Unless im misremembering but i believe you were also one of the first tumblrs i found (before i even made my account)

Others

@federalfazbear @mcsm-r0ckz @pequena-polla58 @pompygirls

I don't remember when you guys came in, but I know we've barely interacted at all- get PERCIVED if you followed me first and IM GETTING PERCIVED if you're an important person that I didn't follow first or someone I followed first, always feel free to reach out and ask questions i love interacting on the gay site!

i am also thankful for @literallyd34d and @belladonnamoonundead

[senseandaccountability]

HR department romance plots

I just… beyond the surface level of enjoying a new game with new relationship dynamics to explore, I really can’t feel much about the DAV companions or their romances.

They all just seem so disconnected from the story, from Rook (who in turn is entirely disconnected from all kinds of feelings because Rook is just Employee Of the Year), from the world, from themselves. I feel like Cole here, looking at them and saying in my gentle, fleeting voice: even the dwarves don’t really remember dwarves. It really feels like the interpersonal relationships are written by the HR person who sits with you as union rep to tell you that you should use a positive language, that "we are all simply employees here, it doesn't matter what title you have", give a little pep talk about teamwork and how to get the job done. That's what we're here for. Everyone's equal. We all want the same thing here, your boss is your friend. Have you tried talking to this person, see their side of things, mmmm? It's just... yeah, they're cute, all of them. But why do they like each other? Why do they want to be with Rook? Who are they even in relation to the world of Thedas, what do they believe in, what have they overcome, what do they hate, what sort of prejudices do they carry around? I have no idea.

And since I’m also replaying DAI again, I wanted to compare these romances to my canon romances in DAI.  With Blackwall, you immediately get a sense of attraction and a sort of flirting on his part that suggests this is something he falls into quite easily - “you know a lot about girls” to quote Cole - BUT it’s also something he really, really thinks he shouldn’t be doing now. Why? He is tied to the Warden plot, if you bring him along you get a sense of a man hiding shit but you don’t really understand what, and he still comes to see you (flying/climbing up your balcony wall idk) because he can’t step away. You get to tell him he’s a good man even though you know shit about that at this point, like with Anders in DA2 you can give your PC over to this passion/love despite knowing that there’s something off, something potentially harmful or dangerous. There is conflict, there are things that jar, that can even make you uncomfortable. 

Blackwall as a character is open and compassionate. He approves of mercy, shows mercy, he isn't judgmental of others. In sharp and delicious contrast Blackwall’s crime is vile. He isn’t bound by any sort of oath, he can back down, there is no greater good whatsoever in his actions. It’s inexcusable. And yet. YET. You can CONTINUE THE ROMANCE. He killed a wagon full of kids, THEN RAN AWAY AND LET HIS MEN TAKE THE BLAME and hates himself so much that he tries to become someone else by erasing his previous self from the face of the earth. You can still kiss him and tell him you want him to live and redeem himself. It’s fucking incredible to think about this in the light of Veilguard actually. Your LI, the child murdering coward. 

With Iron Bull you have the doubts all spread out on the table. He’s a spy, how could you ever trust him? He also doesn’t respond to your flirting, why the hell not when you hear through ambient dialogue that he’s fucking half the chantry, isn’t he supposed to be a fuckboy? But he’s fun, he’s a mystery, he’s got fascinating banter with everyone, he’s brought his found family along, he’s a Qunari who at least somewhat believes in the Qun - he’s got AMAZING conversations with Solas that characterizes Bull as deeply intelligent (and Solas as much more caring than he’d let on) and knowledgeable about surprising things like architecture. Cole, as always, gives us more insight into Bull’s mind along the way and even before the offer to ride the Bull, the idea of him has been through some adjustments. You change his idea about a lot of things and in return, Bull challenges your idea of him, your idea of the Qun, your idea of the world and possibly, depending on how you react to his romance, your idea of intimate relationships. The game’s writing allowed me to imagine a rather frumpy circle mage in her mid 30s reluctantly forming a friendship with this strange fellow, only to find herself very much attracted to him, only to find herself being cared for in a way she would never have let anyone do before simply because Bull told her that was the only way he’d be with her. This is how we’ll do it, are you in? Your LI, the service top Qunari spy who is terrified he’ll run mad without his belief system to dictate his actions. 

And Solas. I mean mythical love stories culminating in mythical endings aside, what I really fell for in this relationship was the refreshing dynamic not of enemies to lovers but of two souls just sort of connecting instantly during strange events, taking a few hard looks at each other and going oh shit it’s you, you get me HOW is it possible you get me when nobody else does? There’s so much external drama surrounding them, which is why I personally LOVE and ADORE how calm their internal connection actually is. They know, so early in the game, that this is it. You’re my home, you understand the bones of me, you ask questions no one else thinks of asking, you care about the world in a way I haven’t seen anyone else do. He is LITERALLY the only one who understands your Lavellan when they make her the herald, when she protests and they keep pushing and pulling and sing their song after Haven, and Solas is there to be sarcastic about it. If nothing else, I'd fall in love with that. And there’s this sense of impossibility from the very beginning, a sense of it being almost unreal because the first kiss is in the Fade, the second is in a frenzy where Solas goes from 0 to I LOVE YOU, MY HEART and then leaves and you know, you know how this is coded and YET - he seemed so wise and kind and sad, it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth. And even with this connection of souls, things chafe - he’s an absolute bastard about certain things, he mocks your heritage and you don’t know yet that it’s because a huge guilt blanket rests on top of him since thousands of years back, you can just argue back and receive his disapproval. He says it’s selfish of him to start anything with you yet he does - WHY DO YOU DO THAT, SAD EGG? Your LI, the ancient god of rebellion, treachery and lies, depending on the story. 

Even beyond my favourites, there are conflicts. Sera is A LOT (affectionate) if you're an elf, with Cullen you get a substance abuse story-line tied to his general dismay about his past as a really fucked up templar, Dorian has personal trauma and cultural prejudice he struggles with for the entire game, Vivienne is so complex half the fandom hates her and has very awkward and uncomfortable banters with almost everyone (save for Bull because he treats her like he would a tamassran), Cassandra is constantly challenged in her personal beliefs, very clearly reflected in her conversations with Solas and Cole has a whole personal plotline about deeply existentialist matters. What does it mean to be alive? Who is a person and who gets to decide that? He could have been a person, Varric says. Isn't he already? Does this unit have a soul? Not to mention that Cole functions chiefly as a speaker of truths, bringing a lot of complexity to the others. 

DAI is not perfect by any means but I feel like I know these bastards. I feel like my PC or even I could actively dislike some of them, because they are written to create dynamic conflicts inside and outside of their own arcs. I can write fic about them, I can imagine what they're doing during the events of DAV because I know them.

Because they are written like actual people in a world where some people have power over others and some people have been raised with a certain belief system and some people just have shitty takes on society, may they learn. 

[mythalism]

in my rook hating mindset now after that post this morning and cannot stop thinking about how they are literally the worst protagonist maybe in any story i have ever experienced JRHGKJERHGJERG. and like if you love your rook i am not saying you shouldn't. if you love your rook i am so so happy for you genuinely but you are also probably brilliant and have a huge brain because what the game gives you to build off of is so abysmal.

i literally cannot stop thinking about how insane it is that rook literally causes a double blight and worldwide catastrophe on a scale which thedas has not seen probably since the creation of the veil itself and just. experiences no remorse. and the story tries to tell us thats a good thing and makes them better than the villain/their foil. JHREGJKHERGJKHERG. HELLO?!!??!?!?! literally no one ever goes "hey maybe you shouldnt have done that" except solas and hes framed as the VILLAIN!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!! hawke blames themselves for not putting the pieces together fast enough when a bouquet of white lilies arrived at their door? the narrative gleefully condemn anders with the immediate opportunity to kill him for his crimes. nearly every single character in origins immediately puts the entirety of the responsibility for the fifth blight on loghain's shoulders, regardless of the CLEAR SUGGESTION that the battle at ostagar could never have been won. and all of these makes sense for the world and characters!!!!! of course hawke would blame themselves for their families deaths when they were given the role of protector by leandra after malcom dies. of course the city of kirkwall is going to want anders dead for his extreme act of violence rather than start the uncomfortable process of acknowledging the beloved chantry's complicity in large scale abuse happening in the mage circles!!!! of course alistair and the warden are going to blame loghain for the blight and cailan's death!!!! it doesnt matter if they are right or wrong, it makes sense for their perspective and worldview to feel this way!!!!

have yall gotten the low approval conversations in inquisition????? solas's "Inquisitor. Tell me. How does it feel? Being you. Are you blissfully unaware or, deep inside, is some part of you banging on the walls, screaming?" cassandra getting drunk and practically spitting in your face how she regrets raising you up to such power? blackwalls' "Are you proud of yourself, of what you’ve built here? How about the lives you’ve destroyed along the way? Given much thought to those lately? Is this Inquisition all you wanted it to be? Because I’m disappointed. All I see is a gang of thugs led by a self-serving tyrant." and these SCATHING comments from those who once believed in the inquisitor enough to join their cause come from decisions that affect a fraction of the population that dies under the southern double blight. people will rip the inquisitior to fucking shreds when they fuck up. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE TRESPASSER DLC EHRGKJHERGKJHERG. like holy shit every decision carries the weight of "oh my god whos gonna hate me. who is going to die because of my choice. how is this going to come back to bite me." have we forgotten what its like to return to varric after leaving hawke in the fade and confess what we did? the call we just made? to look him in the eye and tell him that we sacrificed his best friend? WHY IS ROOK NEVER ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THIS INTROSPECTION?????????? TO EVALUATE HOW THEIR DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE AROUND THEM BOTH PERSONALLY AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE????? OH MY GODDDDD

the regret prison scene is so insane. first its insane because its solas at his best and most cunty. but secondly it makes no fucking sense even if im largely distracted by pookie being fun and villainous. solas tries desperately to play up rook's regrets during their conversations and we are supposed to believe that it was that manipulation that allowed him to swap with them in the prison. how does this actually work? blood magic? dont worry about it, kitten. but then when we get into the prison.... the only two regrets that manifest are things that just happened within the last 3 hours - your two party sacrifices. lets be clear that these are not even real sacrifices because literally all of these people volunteer to go and then argue about why they should go. this is so fucking stupid. then rook looks at the statues and says "i dont regret this because this was your choice". YEAH????? OF COURSE YOU DONT FUCKING REGRET IT WHY WOULD YOU. HELLO???? THIS WAS NOT ROOKS CHOICE THIS WAS ROOK JUST SAYING "SURE I GUESS". AND THEN THATS ENOUGH! THEY JUST LEAVE BC THEY CONQUERED THEIR REGRETS!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT!!!!!! there is no discussion of rook being responsible for the blight in the south that we find out via ooc inquisitior letter has KILLED LITERALLY EVERYONE. no suggestion that their recklessness and willingness to act WITHOUT ALL THE INFORMATION at the ritual is the reason for every single thing the evanuris do following their release.

and let me be very clear bc i know this was causing drama on twitter last week. i am not saying the double blights is rook's fault. i actually dont think it is their fault, although i do think they are stupid and reckless and shouldn't have acted so carelessly. but although rook is responsible for ghilly and edgar breaking free, rook is not responsible for the their actions following that freedom, and rook is not at fault for being put into an impossible situation (the need to stop solas's ritual) without all of the information on what the ritual was and what stopping it might incur. however, the double blight is rook's fault in the same way that the veil, the fall of the elvhen empire, elven mortality, and every demon's existence is solas's fault; which is to say, it is and it is not. solas was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for the good of the world when he imprisoned the evanuris and blight with the veil. rook was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for what they thought was the good of the world when they interrupted solas's ritual. but while solas feels immense guilt and responsibility for the choice he made, rook feels.... absolutely none. and the game tells us that... they're right? people should just not take accountability for anything? i will give credit where it's due here that varric's contribution to this scene is quite good and his line where rook tries to take responsibility for his death and varric says smth like "no, that was my own choice and you dont get to take that from me" is B A N G E R. WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY IN THE REST OF THIS FUCKING GAME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

THAT was the lesson solas needed to learn, not that his regret was wrong but that it was MISPLACED!!!!!!!!! and that is why it is mythal acknowledging that their burden is shared and not his alone is the culmination of his entire story and what finally allows him to move on. pride stands alone, wisdom seeks out the input of others to make an informed and wise decision. this is also why he leaves such breadcrumbs for the inquisitor (a high approval one, at least) because he respects their opinion and their input and their existence and the way they treat him turns him back into wisdom from pride. this is why a romanced inquisitor mentions his name being pride and how its possible that hes not even CAPABLE of changing his mind because it would be so against his nature, and he needs someone whose opinion he values to show him the way. his flaw is his SELF INFLICTED LONELINESS!!!!! NOT HIS REGRET. varric even fucking says this in some random banter you get with his ghost in the infirmary but im too lazy to go find it on my desktop. its something about how he sees attachments as a weakness rather than a strength. his pride causes him to take on responsibility that is not his, his wisdom -> pride corruption has led him to believe he is the only one capable of fixing the world's problems and he will destroy both himself and those he loves in the process. he asserts that he is just a man but is unable to stop making decisions for the world like a god.

THIS is the solas/rook foil that should have been: rook relies on their friends and that reliance is ESSENTIAL; after all, the neve/bellara and davrin/harding sacrifice is essential to win. in contrast solas refuses to rely on anyone, and this isolation makes him increasingly cruel. when he has no one to mirror the way a spirit should, he becomes Pride, too proud and too god-like. his attachments make him more human. he is terrified of depending on others and will kill them rather than risk the vulnerability of dependence after what it has done to him (mythal, felassan). he has to unlearn this avoidance and fear, he has to admit that there "could have been a better way" that someone else saw and he did not. he must learn that he does not have all the answers. he is not Pride. its NOT that rook doesnt experience regret and doesn't take accountability for mistakes while solas is trapped by his own regrets. the message we got instead is so incoherent. but it was SO CLOSE TO BEING GOOD. the bones of this are littered everywhere in both the game and in the datamined content and for some reason it just could not be brought together in a way that makes sense.

the message that rook is "right" and better for not having regrets is genuinely insane, especially when the "regrets" they have to conquer are literally just. other peoples decisions. the fact that rook has the audacity to say to solas that he could never escape the prison while they could so easily because he is trapped by his own regret as if rook is better than him is genuinely so fucking dumb it makes me want to claw my eyes out for having been forced to read it. rook sacrifices nothing and learns nothing. the sacrifices within the game belong to the characters that make them, rook does not order people to their deaths in the same way that solas or even THE INQUISITOR do. rook never is asked to grapple with the fact that they ACCIDENTALLY unleashed a double blight, no matter how good their intentions. WHY DOES NO ONE BLAME THEM FOR THIS???? regardless of if it is their fault or not, the objective truth of fault does not matter, what matters is that you make decisions and PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR THEM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO THESE GAMES JEHRGJKREHGJKRHG. this is what the entire game is about doing to solas. judging him. based on his choices. and the game clearly wants you to have empathy for him in the end. but its so OBVIOUS that the vessel for building up that empathy should have been ROOK EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! THE SAME JUDGEMENT!!! THE SAME GROWTH!!!!! FEELING THE BURDEN OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. FEELING THE DREAD OF GUILT AND SHAME AND REGRET. TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR INTENTIONS!!! I DIDNT MEAN TO I DIDNT MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! LEARNING THAT THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT BUT THEY ALSO HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE FORWARD!!!!!! HELLO!??!?!?!?! they BARELY even express remorse for the treviso/minrathous sacrifice, even when faced with neve/lucanis's anger they just go "a decision had to be made and i made it". well. YEAH? LIKE YEAH THATS RIGHT BUT HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS??? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A PERSON, NOT A BLANK SLATE VIDEO GAME PROTAGONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD!!!! YOU MADE A DECISION THAT RESULTED IN PEOPLE DYING. ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS. ITS KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT. HOW IS ROOK JUST BORN BEING OK WITH THIS. ITS SO ROBOTIC AND ARTIFICIAL LOL

rooks actions are such a clear, perfect parallel to solas putting up the veil and the guilt that haunts him afterwards that i KNOW it was intended that way and somehow it just got completely shafted. it literally feels like they did have a coherent parallel going and for some reason were forced to change directions last minute and thus we got some mish mashed barely cobbled together incoherent nonsense with clear echoes of its former self. instead rook has no flaws, makes perfect judgements at all time, has unconditional support from all of their friends who also make perfect judgements, are immune to making mistakes, and the message is its actually just really easy to not have regrets if you just choose right every time and refuse to take responsibility for anything as long as you had good intentions :D

[m0rkl]

The People We Become || Portal!Stan AU || Stanford The Author

I'm shocked how much I want to talk about Ford in this seeing as he's not normally my favorite, but this is fun

Stanford F. Pines, still The Author

He's a lot more homely than canon Ford and much less willing to jump head first into danger.

After the portal is destroyed, he and Fiddleford commit to cleaning up the house and dealing with the aftermath of Bill. It take a LOT of healing and certain preventative measures, but he begins to feel safe again in his home.

Still, he's rather anxious about going into town and doesn't love being around normal people, due to being very awkward and blunt. He and Fiddleford eventually continue their studies on the weirdness of Gravity Falls.

Stanford ends up writing a bunch of field guides and academic texts about various things. It's not his favorite, but it brings in a sufficient amount of money, since his research grant ran out at some point.

He doesn't really stay in contact with his family, but they certainly try to contact him. Filbrick doesn't give much of a shit since Ford isn't "making millions" but Caryn calls on holidays. She often asks if he's heard from Stanley and Ford gives a clipped "no". He refuses to admit how much it hurts or that he sends out letters on occasion trying to contact Stan.

He doesn't attend Filbrick's funeral when he dies, but he does later help his mother move into a 60 and up community where she thrives until she eventually dies from natural causes.

Shermie gets in contact to tell him that his son's wife is having twins, hoping that will give him reason to reconnect with the family. He's very conflicted about if he wants to see them or not, but Fiddleford convinces him to go see the twins when they're born. He's extremely awkward with them, but is absolutely enamored with Dipper because of his birthmark. It's not quite the same as his polydactylism but its still nice for him to see another physical anomaly in the family.

After the birth of the twins, Ford doesn't really continue to stay connected, but he does begin to write a book series called The Gemini Adventures, a children's sci-fi fantasy about twins Castor and Pollux. He always sends the twins first editions of his books.

The books also always have a dedication to "S, where ever you are, who ever you have become."

Dipper and Mabel LOVE these books. It's part of the reason Dipper likes the name 'Dipper'. They've been Castor and Pollux for halloween before and Dipper would never admit it but he's absolutely written "his own Gemini Adventure story" aka fanfiction

Aside from his Gemini Adventures series, Ford keeps a personal log of his strange dreams. He doesn't know it, but these dreams are some connected visions of what's going on with Stanley. He also puts some of his adventures with Fiddleford in there as well as hiding his portal blueprints in it.

Eventually, Ford loses the journal amongst his shelves and shelves of books and Dipper finds it, thinking its one of Ford's unpublished novels.

I know this isn't exactly in line with some of the things I said about the book earlier, but this makes a little more sense I think.

[ii-neg-confessions]

Hello, I only recently found this blog and it finally clicked why everything in ii felt so off to me. So much undertoned bigotry.

I am going to use bullet points about my feelings so I don't go off trail.

1. I like the show but as in "this has potential, I like the concepts, I like the ideas and I like the characters to some extent. I just wish it was in the hands of actual good people and writers." I am not that shocked by the revelation that AE is horrible, I just assumed that was the case, I don't know them irl + when creators become popular they usually become scums (but AE was probably scums on earth way before their popularity.)

2. As a Southern Asian, I felt really weird about candle, especially silvercandle. And reading this blog it started to make sense, she's something about that area's (maybe just Asia in general, I wouldn't put it past AE to generalise the largest continent and all their countries) culture (? I hope i am making sense) and obviously Asia is still a big place and I can't speak for all plus I only watched the shit show of III once so I don't want to have to go through it again just for this point to make sense because you already know how horrid it is.

3. Bomb's character is ass, just an excuse to make fun of speech impediments (pls tell me I wrote it correctly) I don't have anything beyond him about that. So obviously it just feels like ablelism, actually no, it is ablelism. I am not disabled but I am sure that making the only part of a character his disability is not done in good faith.

4. The rep is dogshit. Not even enby and I feel bad for all the rep that gets praised to bits.

5. Weird writing choices, the plot points are alright ig, just wish they weren't written by bigots. (Someone pls rewrite this shitty show)

6. The whole Cabby thing just felt weird like really weird. Why is she antagonised for essentially doing what fan does and having a very valid reason to do it , it's her disability aid(? Maybe I am wrong but I do not respect the show enough to rewatch it)

7. Someone pls save Paper, he doesn't deserve this dog shit DID rep. I hate the implications that people who do face the problem he does are evil like is that the lesson you wanna teach kids? Like especially kids with mental disorders who might watch your show, actually who are watching your show?

8. The excuse of "it's a kids show" is dumb. Kids deserve content that teaches them something actually nice. The excuse that kids don't care about what you show them is exactly why we end up with adults like the meatheads on AE. These things, the shows they watch majorly affect these children. And I don't think a kid should carry the values of a fucking Zionist, and have that subtle not so subtle subtle bigotry in their mind. And obviously it's not just shows which affect them (duh) it's a combination of the media they consume, the adults around them and various other factors but media definitely affects a child's ideologies but I am definitely not smart enough to comment on that.

9. Obviously I am not really mad at a fictional show but I am mad at the very real people with real actions that have consequences, are continuing to be horrible and do not apologise for it.

Uh end note I guess, I hope the people on AE start changing now and if they don't then I hope they die choking on their lunches because they don't deserve to go out with things like murder, bombs, shit that will obviously be used to make you feel bad about them. I hope they get heart attacks and die.

Anyways something positive, to my knowledge, there is only one admin for this and all I gotta tell them is that they are doing great and I thank them.

Glad to be waking up people against this bullshit show and this bullshit crew

also thanks for following!

[sladsher]

Cass’ literal deaths

I feel like people don’t bring up a lot of things in Cass’ story that I find really interesting so I’m gonna talk about them because there are a surprisingly minuscule amount of fics about them (these are all mainly from her 2000s run cause it’s her longest and also I’m newgen and haven’t caught up yet)

Most of these are gonna be about death and stuff mainly cause they’re the hardest ones to find stuff on.

ps I apologise If this is rambley and makes no sense or isn’t correct (which I will apologise for every 2 seconds) Cassandra Cain is my favourite one and my newest hyper fixation. (Further apology for if this makes no sense for her character at any point (newgen and im shit at characterisation)) also I wrote this at like 2am

First up Cass’ death wish she had in batgirl, I know she’s grown from it since 20 years ago but it was still a massive part of her character that people seem to ignore (correct me if I’m wrong again I’m newgen and I haven’t properly read any of the new verse stuff yet) It’s not like it’s not interesting either, the guilt she feels for her kill is so important to her character. Side tangent but I feel like it wouldn’t be ignored if Damian (or any of the other batfam members) felt so guilty about killing he was willing to be literally suicidal about it (Again if this happens and it gets ignored forgive me, I’ve been here like 2 weeks)

next victim is the fact Cass has literally died twice and I rarely see it brought up, even in cannon they just completely forget about it half the time. I mainly bring this up because A. The angst potential is unmatched and B. She literally took a dip in the Lazarus pit!! like trying to find any content at all about Cass’ fun swim in the lazzy pit is like trying to find lost media. And trust me as someone who loves angst and also cass I have been scouring. And it’s not like people don’t like the lazzy pits (cough cough jason) either!!

Also Cass literally has a whole brother (mad dog) and I’ve seen him mentioned like twice ever.

In conclusion, Cass’ story is unmatched and people should write more angst about her relationship with death because pretty please and also DC hates Cass.

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

wait tags aren't enough, i need to go more insane

FIRSTLY bringing back my discord reaction because. i stand by it okay.

okay so first thing i notice is the colour, the very monochrome red/salmon pink (?) in the background, their skin, even the hair. and then the bright contrast of the white shirt, the green pieces and words (AND WHAT WORDS THEY ARE!), the gold necklace. sidenote but i am IN LOVEEE with the way you render the necklace, it looks so slinky and fun. like not what a necklace looks like but what a necklace should look like if that makes sense?? it looks better than a real necklace basically. the composition?? oh my god. the rectangle that can't perfectly contain them is so fun, and then the words at the top and bottom (like teeth!) with "promise" emphasised like that! the ANGLE of them!! charles' completely focused expression, his lashes (the most important part!!!), his pointy ear and his wispy hair. what little we can see of edwin and what it hints at, the perfect hair and the back of the ear (which is so difficult to draw, i'm jealous of you!!) and the line of his neck and uh. his fingers. still so put together. also the lighting is just beautiful, i adoreeeeee the highlights over charles' eyebrows and eyelids, the side of his face, his chest, that seem to come from the bright background! ✨

SECONDLY NEW THINGS

comparing this against the previous version is insaneeeeeeee it's like spot the difference but difference is my sanity. no joke. i feel like i see the most difference in charles' face? so so gorgeous, i am in LOVE with the line of his nose and his lashes and his curls aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! THE GOLD MARCELA YOU ARE A GENIUS charles should wear gold eyeliner always and forever. thanks for coming to my ted talk. MULTIPLE EARRING CHARLES MY BELOVED and the NIP PIERCINGS?????? if you're trying to kill me you're. succeeding. holy shit. edwin playing with the piercings........

i've said this before but the angle is everything!!!!!!!!!! the subtle power dynamics, charles tilting his head up like that, even furrowing his eyebrows slightly.... and then the effect of this constrained rectangle with charles' head the only thing that pops out! and you know i'm crazy for that green/pink/white contrast we don't need to repeat this discussion.

AND YOUR TECHNIQUE?? the colouring and the shading and the sketch-like lines and the texture... it is everything i fear. dreaming of a date where you just show me your art techniques. holy shit

AND THE QUOTES??????? nick's quote will always be famous ofc (love those changes too, the added contrast and the sketchy quality of the blocks, but still matching the dark pinks!) AND CHARLES' BOOK OF SECRETS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am NOT ready for the day that drops fr i'm telling you now

OVERALL

i did not think it was possible to fall MORE in love w nip touch art but you've managed to prove me wrong once again. JUST LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THEY ARE (okay okay i'll stop) charles in gold is everything to me. currently hyperventilating into a paper bag. if you care. also you dropped this 👑💍💖 they're yours now to do with what you will

10. in the meanwhile as you chop down our roots measure out D E V O T I O N add lantern oil stir the concoction counter-clockwise. leave it to simmer on the lowest heat. [charles' book of secrets] poem by me art quote by @wordsinhaled

[codemonki]

So like TMA!Miles was still touched by the web at a young age except is was a tag team effort between Manfred and whoever the Web Avatar is (they will have fought over Miles because DAMN would he make a good web avatar)

His dad was still a defense attorney and he still grew up with Larry and Phoenix, but when the power went out in the courthouse after an earthquake spiders go into the elevator and the last few moments miles had conscious involved spiders crawling all over him and crawling into Gregory's sinuses.

After this Manfred would either take Miles in (which I'm a big fan of bc franziska miles sibling hours) or he would get miles into an orphanage so that he may continue to learn of the occult and interact with the fears (both in hope to make his perfect archivist) and the whole time miles would be unaware.

[almondpiglet]

just fooling around at the speed of sound... found a cool brush to play with...

[buggachat]

can't stop thinking about how Félix was seen as "a cold, calculating, intelligent character. yes, he made some weird decisions (how did shoving cheese under adrien's pillow fit into his plan? why did he bully adrien's friends when all he was there to do was shake gabriel's hand? etc) but, ignoring that, he definitely carefully considers all his actions" and then Emotion dropped on us "uh yeah so Félix is actually deeply emotionally unstable" which is both counter to how everyone saw him and actually perfectly explains his character in ways the fanon version of him couldn't

[puppyeared]

is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings

[vynnyal]

This is a pretty good point in the wip to share this, methinks :]

Map part for the hole dwelling map, starring... Not my ocs! I wanted to use ocs, but I don't have any-- so I just used the characters from a fic I was reading at the time 😂

Turns out, the symbolism was so much fun to twist into the 11 seconds I had to work with, I ended up going way more complex than I meant to. If you wanna read the fic this was based on, please do!! And tell the author I said hi! :D

[enbysiriusblack]

get him back! is soooo a jily song btw.

[fleshadept]

No hate at all, but just as someone who’s worked on smaller film production crews in a less expensive city than LA I want to tell you that 29 people on staff is NOTHING for a production company of their size. There’s so much work from project planning and plan development to animation and SFX and graphic design to actual camera operators, audio techs, and lighting crews, to social media marketing teams and then administrative staff to handle all the paperwork involved in getting permission to film in all these locations and organizing flights, hotels, and car rentals for every place they travel to. 29 people is honestly a pretty low number for a company of this caliber.

i know. i just directed a short film with a production crew of 37 and post crew of 11. i am aware of the possibility that productions can be that size. my point was more that they did not need to be “a company of [that] caliber.” they very much could have left buzzfeed, hired a camera op & sound mixer or two, or shit, learned how to do it themselves since it’s youtube and that’s the norm, and more gradually expanded into a professional operation at a sustainable rate. being a "production company of their size" was not a command performance, it was a choice, and it was a bad one.

they did not need to leave buzzfeed and maintain their status as solely talent. the show they were leaving with was not all that complicated! they do not NEED to hire a fucking social media marketing team. a location manager, sure. camera ops and audio for when they're out exploring? sure! but a crew of that size isn't really necessary, is my point.

but they (and the try guys) were used to a quality of life at buzzfeed as talent that they didn't want to let go, and even when the try guys left, i was a little disappointed that they tried to maintain the same level of almost corporate professionalism about their videos instead of like, figuring out how to use a camera or an NLE themselves. i'll admit it's a super petty gripe; like, fine, whatever, shoot for the moon! but it's also meant that they keep feeling the need to Expand and, evidently, legitimize themselves as "more" than just youtubers. they make a LOT of money--but for every one person they hire, that's another person they're obligated to pay a living wage for their skills, and so if they want to be a bigger company, they necessarily must always have Line Go Up. which then compels them to do stupid shit like they did this week