#fun fact! you can be alergic to sunlight

[jackdaw-and-hattrick]

Reasons people believe Bruce Wayne is a vampire and his explanations why he’s not (condensed):

- Has to use a parasol and sunglasses whenever he leaves Gotham, claims nocturnal lifestyle caused him to develop highly sensitive eyes and skin intolerant of sunlight.

- Extraordinary ability to slip away unseen, this claim was entirely shrugged off.

-Seems to have an entirely liquid diet, says texture issues make eating solid food not prepared by his butler intolerable.

-Was reported dead only to reappear no less than twice, claims he’s simply very bad at remembering to contact loved ones when he’s leaving for a bit.

- Keeps acquiring children who all exhibit the same bizarre patterns of behavior, simply said quote “like finds like”

- Seemingly superhuman beauty; says that this is due to him, quote, “not being an insecure baby when it comes to wearing makeup” and that, “the standards for men are ridiculously low.”

The public and this reporter remain unconvinced.