#fuck you belos i will eat your fucking soul

[artsandspacecrafts]

TOH S3 spoilers

.

.

.

time flies when you're escaping and reliving the horrors of your past

manifesting a good ending for hunter, dana so help me god if you give this boy more trauma ;-;

[eldritch-spouse]

Okay so we know almost all the red flags in your boys, but what are so green flags in them?

Like, what some of your ocs will say to their darling to convince them *THEY* are the ultimate choice and ect?

[GREEN FLAGS? PFFT- OKAY. IF YOU SQUINT.]

Why you should date these losers!

Morell

He can cook so well!;

Great hunter;

B I G .

Santi

Juiciest tits in town;

Wholesome deep down;

Sugar daddy material.

Grimbly

Cute enough to give you diabetes;

Will make your enemies cry;

Heeheehoohoo he sleeps upside down like a bat.

Gallon

Mysterious drama whore vibes;

For the living latex enthusiasts;

Knows his drinks better than anyone else.

Nebul

Astrology bitch, but for real;

Loves animals;

Thick ass.

Vinnel

Funny;

Thee wanteth the jestussy;

You can hold him like a balloon while he floats.

Patches

Meow meow nerd man;

His ability to cum in his pants from a couple of touches alone will flatter you;

Two for one, you also get a gremlin horse-loving boyfriend!

Fank-e

*Slaps Fank-e's top* This bad boy can fit so many illicit substances in his storage space;

L0L R4ND0M XDDD R4WR :333 T4C05;

Rainbow dong, glow in the dark robussy, whatever you want.

Belo

This one's for the peeps in the back with religious guilt;

Can lift you into flight;

Usually very obedient.

Sybastian

Pick a shape!;

Amazing dad material;

Oral game on point.

Krulu

Godfucker privileges;

Everyone fears you;

Dominion over The Clergy.

Miara

Ultimate dommy mommy;

Usually a very bright soul;

Breederism, you say?

Breg

So dedicated. He's trying his best;

Heeheehaha dark mode;

Gee Billy, two willies?!

Fasma

Old wise soul. Sort of;

Alcohol and smokes always available;

Kind of like a living stim toy.

Ludwig

Jack of all trades, master of none;

Very chill for a wrath demon;

Living heater boyfriend.

Obie

Will eat your cooking no matter how terrible;

Will never judge the state of disarray your house is in;

Obscure musician.

Mervin

Devoted, but subtly;

Will get you nothing but the best ever, if you're mistreated he will go into Karen-tier fits;

Shags

Goth-ish.

Katia

MILF;

You get three platonic stepson yanderes;

This woman is so wholesome it hurts.

Very artistic and creative;

Knows mothman;

Cottagecore boyfriend.

Rinx

THE sugar daddy;

Big ole hands to finger grab you with;

Has a pile of riches he sleeps on like a dragon.

Zizz

Comfiest boyfriend;

You don't have to do anything, just exist next to him;

You have joint custody of 300 plushies.

Vesper

CEO OF SEX;

Everyone wants to fuck you so bad oh my God-;

Three schlongs and heart nipples.

Lacai

Short king;

Bug Man McGee;

Idk he's got Tumblr pretty boy charm, you guys like him a lot.

Ivani

Can do the goblin shark jaw extension;

Have you ever seen a shark with tits? Huh?;

Very easy to satisfy, just get her hot dogs.

Colmei

Limitless supply of honey cum;

You're treated like a bee Queen;

Heehee cute buzzing.

Adelo

Rule over angels;

Silly man;

Chad won the eye number lottery.

Adrul

You can ride his back!;

Serious but sweet;

Hell fears you.

[clown-hour]

Idea: Witches would be terrified by Furbies, they would think they are some sort of ancient predators that humans tamed. Gus, Amity, and Eda would be the only ones that would know that it's a robotic toy because Luz told them. King would refuse to refer to it as a toy, and would collect them to form an army.

Some individual characters’ thoughts on Furbies below the cut >:)

Eda, absolutely hyping up a Furby Luz gave her: And this folks is an ancient beast from the human realm! Humans had tamed it years ago and it has since evolved into a much smaller, less deadly size. They speak in their own language and their culture has only documented in ancient texts! *pulls out the official guide*

Hunter, handing Belos an Angel Furby: I confiscated this from the Owl Lady, I do believe you would enjoy this beast due to ancient prophets you spoke of from the human realm. Belos, actually concerned: … What the fuck is that, Hunter.

Amity, holding the one that Luz handed her: I don’t understand how you like these things, it looks like it’s ready to eat my soul. Also, I’m not sure if you know, but we do have demons that eat your soul, so it wouldn’t be far off from the truth.

King, with a Long Furby wrapped around him: I WILL COLLECT THESE MIGHTY BEASTS AND FORM AN ARMY WITH THEM!! You’re name will be Cupcake.

[not-a-vegan3]

Tim: So how do you manage your curse?

Belos: I eat the souls of palisman and kill clones of my brother, whom I also killed

*ten beat ups later*

Becky: What happened to him?

Tim: What he fucking deserved.

Felt like doing this lol-

I approve

[edoro]

REALLY GLAD that Belos didn't know about the (Clawthorne exclusive?) "let the pain be shared" spell, because like. He'd do that shit with the Grimwalkers. If it helped alleviate his curse. Hell, if he could afford having more people know about it, he'd probably make it a punishment for failing him enough times. Forget being stripped of your rank and kicked out of the Emperor's coven, welcome to a fate worse than death (and no, it's not petrification!).

Speaking of petrification... Would be kinda fucked up if did that to people/wild witches, too, before he petrified them.

He probably couldn't afford to do this because the curse messes with your ability to do magic, right? But still, if he could...

wellll, while i think yeah if he had the ability to make other people feel his pain he 100% would abuse that (i mean, he kind of already does take all of his problems out on everyone else around him, especially the grimwalkers, lmao), i think you've got some stuff wrong/are making some assumptions i don't necessarily think are supported here

there's no reason to assume that the thing is a Clawthorne exclusive vs just like, a little bit of wild magic that's been retained because it's a handy little rhyme that a kid can memorize - that's my take on it, anyway, it's like if "circle circle, dot dot, now you have your cooties shot" actually Did Something

as for the curse messing with the ability to do magic, Eda's curse saps her magic and eventually left her unable to do it at all, but we can't necessarily extrapolate from Eda's curse to Every Single Other Curse Ever. also, what Belos has going on is very much a different thing - his curse is what lets him do magic.

my understanding of his whole deal is that the weird goop deer-monster form is a result of eating palismen, and he eats palismen in order to be able to use the glyphs he carved onto himself - when he has his sudden painful-seeming attacks of destabilization, it seems to be when he's using magic and suddenly runs out of those internal palisman reserves, and therefore he needs more in order to be able to get himself back under control and maintain his human shape.

so he isn't necessarily even cursed in the same sense that Eda is - he's just kind of stuck in this endless loop of needing something to power the glyphs on his own body, because he doesn't have internal magic to draw upon due to lack of a bilesac, and the thing he settled on (consuming the souls of tiny magical animals) turns him into a shambling semisolid abomination, so he has to consciously maintain his human form, and when he runs out of magic he can't do that anymore (which is why i think he went monster form when Luz slapped him with the sigil - the draining spell sucked away his internal magic reserves, which were already low bc he hadn't had any palismen since s2e6 which was like, months ago, so boom, goop deer time)

so it's sort of unclear what, like, doing the pain-sharing spell would even do in that case? could make someone turn into a goop deer. could do nothing. probably would not give them any of his abilities since his abilities come from the glyphs he carved on himself, and the palismen are just what make the glyphs work.

[shera-dnd]

Spoilers for Young Blood, Old Souls ahead

Oh Lilith you couldn’t have fucked up any harder could you?

Like for real kicking your sister under the bus for your success isn’t a sacrifice. It is selfish and I’m glad it has been eating away at you this whole damn time

Also in a thirstier subject: Now that we know Eda can keep her sentience while in monster form can I be a thirsty monster fucker about that? Because I’m a thirsty monster fucker

anyway back to the non-horny stuff

I’m actually enjoying Emperor Belos as a villain. I like his voice and attitude. I love how creepy he can be. I love how cryptic his shit is and I especially love all the aspects of tech mixed with magic that his staff and portal have (I’m always a slut for magitech)

ALSO HIS FIGHT WITH LUZ

LUZ YOU AMAZING LITTLE CREATURE

She really had the Dark Souls experience of  facing an early game boss (looking at you Warden Wrath) again as a basic enemy

She has just grown so much and she’s such a badass little witch now

also she really just said Found Family Rights!

okay I think that’s all I have to yell about for now

Fuck that was a good way to end the season

[monkeymindscream]

You've had Warden Wrath hcs, what about our dear Emperor Belos?

Of COURSE I have headcanons for Emperor Belos I love him!!

- He is ridiculously charismatic. This is the guy who managed to gain the support of an entire populace and radically alter their way life shortly after appearing seemingly from nowhere. Even if we assume that the majority of that influence came from people believing he could talk to the Titan, he still would’ve had to make them believe he could in the first place. A big part of the borderline-worship admiration his subjects have for him stems from his people skills back before he shut himself up in his castle.

- Pumpdrake spice season is his favorite time of year. What is a pumpdrake, you ask? It’s the botanical Frankenstein of a pumpkin and a mandrake. Instead of “carving jack’o’lanterns,” the tradition on the Boiling Isles is to hunt and slay the pumpdrake with the face/expression you want. Afterwards you gut your kill then display its rigor-mortis-ridden carcass on your porch or in your window or something. The guts themselves are super flavorful, with the smaller, more yellow-y ones being more savory (often used in soups and things) and the darker orange ones being sweet (the aforementioned pumpdrake spice). EB will eagerly consume literally anything containing pumpdrake spice in it. — Also: Like on Earth, there’s kind of a stigma against openly liking pumpdrake spice, because God forbid anyone be allowed to like harmless things on this wretched plain of existence. It’s a good way to get yourself labeled as “basic,” actually. Enter our Emperor, gracefully not giving a damn. Should he ever come across anyone complaining about people liking pumpdrake spice, he’d likely take great pleasure in materializing behind them and politely interjecting, “Well I happen to quite like pumpdrake spice, actually; would you care to explain to me why you’re so offended by it?” then quietly enjoy the rest of his drink as they shat themselves and tried to backpedal. — I have no idea how he enjoys the aforementioned drink while wearing his mask. Maybe he pours it into his eyes like he did with the palisman innards; maybe he has some sort of proboscis that pokes out from under his mask that he uses to slurp it up. Maybe he just uses a straw. Who’s to say.

- He has a genuine soft spot for Kikimora. This derives solely from the fact that he called her “Kiki” at the end of Young Blood, Old Souls. Like yes I know Lilith called her “Kiki” too and they obviously didn’t care for each other, but look: as far as we’d seen up until that moment EB referred to people almost exclusively by their formal full name/an unshortened form of their first name (“Edalyn/Lilith Clawthorne”), or by a derisive title (“Human”). But he gave Kikimora a (seemingly honestly affectionate??) nickname of sorts. Plus she’s essentially his face and mouth when he either doesn’t feel like making public appearances or just plain can’t - that has to imply at least some level of trust there. — Kiki’s fully aware of this, and is insufferably smug about it. She’s lucky the Isles’ Top Dog likes her, because literally no one else does. (She’s not particularly bothered.)

- Romance is his favorite book genre, believe it or not. Or at least it would be if the writers on the Boiling Isles could step away from clichés for five freaking seconds. — DO NOT GET HIM STARTED ON PINIET PUBLISHING HOUSE THEIR BOOKS ARE THE WORST OFFENDERS OF THEM ALL. Hell, their books are the reason half those clichés are even clichés to begin with - they mass produce utter shit. He’s wanted to petrify righteously arrest Piniet for years, but Kiki always stops him by pointing out that the publishing company’s books are wildly popular amongst his coven (the whole Isle, really, but speaking specifically here) and destroying the source would likely cause a massive dip in morale. And anyway, he hasn’t technically done anything legally wrong that they could bring him in for - it’s ultimately more trouble than it’s worth.

- He’s fucking clueless when it comes to some of the actual responsibilities that come with keeping an empire running. Don’t get me wrong, he understands there are certain things that need to get done, and he understands why they need to be done. He just doesn’t have the instincts for how. Like if some official-whoever were to come up to him and ask him “Emperor,  how do you plan to stimulate the economy in some of the Isles’ poorer areas?” he’d be lost. Fuck if he knows, man, how is one person supposed to be able to answer that?? He knows magic - he has dissected magic down to its core and could list the names of all its squishy bits by heart. He knows greater-scope things. He does not know how to break-up infighting between two townships. — When he’s asked questions like this, he will usually respond by looking to his right. Kiki (who was standing there, waiting) will then promptly step forward, say something to the effect of “The Emperor has discussed this issue with me previously, he is of the mind that-” and will then offer a suggestion. No one questions it because well the Emperor is sitting literally right there, so obviously if he had any issues with it he’d have punted the little gremlin into orbit by now, right? Everyone just assumes EB doesn’t feel like repeating himself when he’s already discussed it with his assistant. Truth is Kiki pulled that out of her ass on the spot. Lucky for the Isles she’s good at her job. — This plays a big part in why EB’s likes Kiki so much. She takes a good chunk of responsibility and stress off his shoulders so he can focus on whatever mysterious tasks the Titan may (or may not we’ll have to see) be instructing him to complete.

- His omnipresent/all-seeing shtick comes from his connection to the Titan. By virtue of the Isle literally being made from their body, the Titan is, essentially, everywhere. Therefore, EB’s awareness spreads everywhere. This has limits, obviously, since at the end of the day EB’s just one person and can only split his focus so many ways (not to mention it takes more energy to “see” the farther he looks away from his physical self), but it’s still more than what most people can do. Even more than what most Oracle witches can do.

- He takes abysmal care of himself. Yes, I know, it’s shocking to think that the guy who’s dumping magic goop into his face wouldn’t be a paragon of self-care, but trust me on this one. He will go days without sleep then get frustrated that his body is behaving so sluggishly; he’ll neglect to eat until his stomach is so empty it’s cramping, and he’ll still put it off for “just a bit more, it can wait for just a little longer.” The man is a disaster. — This also actually stems from his connection with the Titan. Over time, EB has become so entwined with it (see: its heart beating faster when he’s agitated/excited) that his own body has slowly stopped registering its own needs. Its attuned to what the Titan needs, and the Titan doesn’t need anything. Which is a flawed fucking system, really, because he still needs everything, he just has no way to gauge when or how much anymore.

- The reason the main nine covens are “the main nine” is specifically because they’re each a track of magic that EB is proficient in. And as the creator of the coven system, he got first say in which ones were quote “important.”

I have more (because if left sit long enough I could talk about my favorite characters for days) but a good chunk of what’s left kind of move out of “headcanon” territory and into “theories,” so I’ll stop here. If anyone’s interested in hearing the theories (or AUs, or ships, or whatever) feel free to send an ask and I’ll ramble some more.