#fuck why couldnt it have been lethal i just wish i could stop existing already so everyone can feel better | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

3knecrotic · 11 months ago

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I need new metal. I need to recarve my thigh. It's. It's healing but I don't deserve that health. I need to remember hym. I can't ever forget hym. I need to remember how fucking useless I was up until the very fucking end. I need these letters to remind me how fucking disgusting I am. So I don't get comfortable. So I don't relax. So I can't be happy. So I can't make a mistake while excitable. I need to feel like hy owns me. I need to feel like hy'd stab me through the leg a million times with no remorse just so hy can feel Some sense of satisfaction from that horrible relationship. God.

#vent #i want to pray but i feel so weak i dont think God will hear me #im forgotten. abandoned. now the only thing i feel as tho i can pray to is hym.#i wish i listened to hym #fuck why couldnt it have been lethal i just wish i could stop existing already so everyone can feel better #so hy could show up just to smile at my funeral because im finally dead after all i put hym through #why couldnt i give hym my fun eral #why am i so #fucking #weak

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