#fuck every social media trying to turn itself into fucking tiktok

[saddragonhours]

i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate the tiktokification of other apps hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it i have to sit here and listen to someone else fucking scroll through stupid little videos that use voices that grate on my ears but i have to pretend to be calm about it bc if i asked that specific person to stop scrolling through tiktok she would take it as a personal fuckin attack hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate tiktok and what its done to our culture

[miscellaniousbyblue]

Even my fucking music streaming platform has a tiktok now.

I just

[sybbi]

Small addition: I think from what I read, it can be fined $5 000 per day multiplied by each user it provides service to.

[captainmalewriter]

I posted 78 times in 2022

That's 36 more posts than 2021!

75 posts created (96%)

3 posts reblogged (4%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swapsrus

@shootingstarwritings

@captainsfavstories

I tagged 75 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#male possession - 32 posts

#caption - 26 posts

#body possession - 23 posts

#male body possession - 20 posts

#male body switch - 20 posts

#male body swap - 19 posts

#body swap - 17 posts

#body switch - 15 posts

#male takeover - 12 posts

#reasonswhy - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 26 characters

#god i overthink everything

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Stop It

I sat there in the passenger seat as my Dad drove us back from the gym.

This was part of our normal routine, yet I found myself feeling really impatient.

"Dude, c'mon, get out of there already! This is getting weird," I said to him.

"Son, what did I say about calling me dude or bro? You will address me as Sir or Dad,"

"Knock it off man! This is just weird! Get out of my Dad already!"

"And why should I? Just look at these cannons!"

See the full post

455 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#4

Gift That Keeps Giving

“So... how does it feel?” Kamal asked the man in front of him as he adjusted the sleeve of his jersey. The handsome man stayed quiet as he continued to bounce around in place, seemingly trying to get comfortable in his own skin. 

Kamal couldn’t help but admire the man’s well groomed appearance; from his perfect beard to the stylish haircut, Kamal was already fantasizing what it would be like to see that handsome face from underneath him as he jackhammered his ass into submission. He could already hear him begging him to go harder between moans. He knew the jersey would have to stay on during sex to avoid the transformation reverting back, but Kamal accepted it as a fair trade off if it meant he got to fuck a hunk of a man every night from there on. 

See the full post

470 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#3

Watermelon Challenge

The sun was shining as bright as always that Tuesday morning. Beams of light shined into the young Tiktoker Mo Saffari’s room, causing him to wake up. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes, knowing it was time to get up for the day.

Mo grabbed his phone from the nightstand and unlocked it. He cleared out all of the notifications from his various social medias and checked for any new messages. He answered a few of the more interesting ones and left the rest on read. They could wait a while longer.

He then turned off his phone, and in the split second before he tossed it to the side, Mo caught a glimpse of his own reflection on the little black screen. He smirked as he admired himself. He knew he was hot, and with that thought in mind, he decided to snap a quick selfie for his Instagram stories. Something to get his many fans and followers going.

See the full post

480 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#2

Side Business

***

Then, out of nowhere, Jojo’s eyes opened. I saw how bloodshot his eyes were. I took a step back at the sight of it. Jojo started arching upwards too. It looked painful, seeing him stretch like that… He was still gasping while all this happened too. This disturbing sight continued for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, then Jojo slammed back down to his bed, as motionless as before he started flailing. 

I stood there, hand against my beating heart, trying to process everything that had just happened. It felt like I had just witnessed a man have a seizure and then have it resolved by itself! 

After another brief pause, Jojo’s eyes opened again. They weren’t bloodshot this time, they looked as white as ever. He rolled out of his bed, and began to look and feel around his body. 

See the full post

576 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Payback

***

Somehow, I had fallen onto my knees in the midst of all the pleasure. I was about to get up, but then an inexplicable pain began to spread in my throat. It was a sharp pain, like something had just jammed itself down my throat. I also noticed a weird, slimy taste in my mouth. It was disgusting!

“What’s the matter? Don’t like a little cum in your mouth?”

I heard a deep voice that sounded vaguely familiar, and when I looked up, I saw my own body looking down at me.

I stared in horror as I watched my own body flexing and pec bouncing right in front of me. I then looked down at my body, and saw I now had the body of the dainty twink that had just sucked me off!

See the full post

673 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pop-pop-pop-popculture]

Going off of this reblog, that anonymous person made a great point! I'm the kind of person who gets lost in deep, deep thoughts from time to time, and that ask + response sent me (not in the comical slang meaning). If you really, really think about it, everyone, a "celebrity" is literally just the definition of a person who is famous, and the word 'famous' just means one is known by a ton of people. That's it. Think about it. My point being made here is that Hollywood itself is rather bogus, in my opinion, and the idea of being a "celebrity" (let alone famous) is just a phantasm. That's just the glam and fakeness of Hollywood, everyone! "Celebrities", especially A-list ones, whose heads are too far up their asses and/or believe in their own hype create this delusion in their own minds. In the end, they are literally just working people like all of us - the only difference is their career consists of entertaining people and a PR team. I'm excluding chefs, authors, and athletes. I think it's okay to have favorite actors, actresses and musicians, but to idolize someone, a person you literally do not personally know, to the point of an unhealthy obsession is wei--no, fucked up. It's fucked up. It's especially fucked up if that person someone has an unhealthy obsession with is a person who became well-known through social media. I'm looking at you, TikTok! 😒🙄 Most everything a celebrity says and does is because they were told to, not because it was out of true genuinity. However, that is not the case for every single celebrity! They have genuine moments once in a blue moon... It also honestly depends on who the person is too regardless if they're A-list, B-list, C or D-list. There are celebrities who are genuinely down to earth, humble, grounded, and nice, though. Who? I don't feel like dropping names... Anyways, sorry, Pop, for this long rant. I think I got way off topic, but I hope this still made sense.

  When I was a teenager, I actually always dreamt of becoming an actress for/in Hollywood. Of course, though, I was gullible and naïve. I still want to pursue film acting, but only as a hobby, not as a career. The more I found out how all of it really works from behind-the-scenes to being in front of the camera, the more interested I was, but the more I realized the reality of being a Hollywood actor (and celebrity in general)--both the good aspects and bad aspects--, the more turned off I became. You definitely need to have your head screwed on straight and do your research. This is a little off topic, but where I stand, it is certainly possible to become an actor/actress, however, it will take quite a long time before you land your dream role (whatever that may be) and get the opportunity to land a supporting yet big role in a popular television series or work with a well known production company, such as Marvel or Columbia Pictures, for example. Stay grounded, stay humble, and keep working hard towards those dreams! Dream big and make goals, but also be realistic. That is my personal advice to aspiring actors and actresses (as well as this!).   Anyways, regarding the topic of idolizing, I agree. You are so spot on! It's one thing to be fan of an actor or actress and show your support towards them, such as make a fan account, but, in your own words, "to idolize someone, a person you literally do not personally know", to the point of obsessing over them is disturbing.   People just need to get it in their heads that an actor, actress, and musician are literally just your average, every day person trying to make money by working the same job for different companies. Being a musician is different and I don’t know what their lifestyle is like, but.. moving on. The more you think about it, the more you will realize how true that is. You know what I mean? I hate to break it to you all, but your favorite actor/actress is not that special. Or perfect. Nobody is perfect.

To all the "famous" people who are genuinely humble, grounded, like to live a private and low-key life while still balancing out their “famous” lifestyle, and just overall really sweet, I see you and do not ever change (@ Hugh Jackman, Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, Anya Taylor-Joy, Sadie Sink, and James McAvoy).

[pandemellia]

Ugly Thoughts #2: I'm elated that you feel alone💖

Two weeks ago, my ex made a TikTok video where he was concerned that no one was asking him if he was okay. 

And I was thinking like-

PFFFFT HAHAHA!

LOOK AT THIS PATHETIC ASS FUCK OVER HERE!

NOW YA SORRY ASS KNOWS HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE!

YOU KNOW? LIKE HOW YOU CHEATED ON ME, THEN LED ME ON AND EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTED ME FOR TWO MONTHS WITH LITTLE TO NO REASSURANCE THAT YOU'D NEVER DO IT AGAIN, AND HARDLY ASKED IF I WAS OKAY?

AND I BEARED IT ALL ANYWAYS BECAUSE I WANTED US TO WORK OUT DESPITE MY MENTAL HEALTH DETERIORATING FOR THE SAKE OF YOURS?!

YET YOU STILL ABANDONED ME FOR SOME DISGUSTING HOE?!

I'M HAPPY AS FUCK THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU! 

HOW ABOUT YOU ASK THE LOWLIFE FUCKS THAT DO FURRY SEXUAL ROLE PLAY WITH YOU?! YOU KNOW, THE SAME ONES YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH AND YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR PARTNER WITH NOW?!

WHERE ARE THEY NOW, HUH?! THEY'RE YOUR "FRIENDS" AREN'T THEY?! THAT'S THE EXCUSE YOU USED WHEN I ASKED YOU TO BLOCK THEM SO THEY MUST BE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU, RIGHT?!

I'M PRETTY SURE THROWING AWAY 4 YEARS BECAUSE YOUR DEGENERATE ASS WANTED TO INDULGE IN YOUR STEP BRO-SIS FURRY FANTASIES WASN'T WORTH IT NOW, WAS IT?!

LET'S.FUCKING.GOOO-

So anyways; I may feel lonely now, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT as lonely as I did when he ignored me when I needed his reassurance after he cheated on me. It was extremely emotionally painful, at least for me.

Instead, he decided to ignore the problem, and hoped it magically fixed itself by insisting on a "break". 

I don't care how immature this makes me, but I DESPISE relationship "breaks". I may have said this before, and I'll keep repeating it again: when anyone suggests to take a "break", it's either because they wanna have an affair with someone else, or they're thinking of breaking up with you and running away from the problem. 

This has been proven time and time again on Reddit where people ask for advice about these topics.

Also, I have trust and abandonment issues, so it's pretty self explanatory on why this wouldn't work out for me.

My point is; a relationship is teamwork, and I believe you shouldn't emotionally check in and out of a relationship at your convenience, at the expense of your partner's mental health. 

If a relationship needs time to cool down from an issue, then take a few days apart. But a break will never ever be a solution for me. 

Nevertheless, he always insisted on breaks (the one that led to the break up was the longest, these breaks usually lasted 2 weeks or more) before this whenever we had problems in our relationship, and I always reluctantly complied despite him knowing why I hated breaks. He has depression, so I always wanted to accommodate his mental health.

Guys. 

I don't remember if I mentioned this to him, but I literally would Google symptoms of depression to try to understand why was he always acting this way. That's how much I cared about him. I learned that people with depression often have depressive episodes where they shut everyone out because they feel like a burden on them.

So I suffered in silence and tried to my best to suppress my resentment every time he'd ignore me.

But as it turns out, he never had "depressive episodes". He just used those breaks as more time to exchange nudes with other people and do sexual online roleplay with others while I was alone, riddled with anxiety and paranoia that he was cheating on me. 

Back to the last break that led to the break up; every single day, for two months during our "break", I was in constant fear that he'd cheat on me again, abandon me, or leave me for someone else. That was absolute mental torture. I cried everyday, was on edge all of the time on not knowing where we stood; and worst of all, I was made to feel like a burden for feeling anger and sadness from being cheated on. It's the reason why I don't go to the few friends I have on my main social media for the heartbreak I'm dealing with now. I felt (and sometimes still do) like this worthless thing that didn't deserve to have their feelings acknowledged.

And he managed to end up doing all three. Yes, leaving your current partner for someone else is emotionally cheating. You're falling in love with someone else while you're taken; and instead of working to get rid of those feelings by cutting off contact, you fuel them more by starting an emotional affair with the other person. And if you have it in you to objectify your soon to be ex partner by replacing them with someone else, then it's clear you never loved them in the first place. I swear, the only people who'd deny that this shit is cheating are the fuckers that are guilty of this lol. It's not just as simple as, "aS sOoN aS yOu'Re sInGlE, yOu gEt tO fUcK wHoEvEr yOu wAnT". No, people who do this start off their new "relationship" with deceit and manipulation, fuck off.

Writing this also made me realize that on the night he broke up with me, he had the goddamn audacity to BLAME ME FOR THE PROBLEM HE SINGLE-HANDEDLY CAUSED BY SAYING, "I cAn'T hAnDlE yOuR rEsEnTmEnT"

THIS BITCH REALLY TRIED TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR FEELING ANGRY AT HIM FOR CHEATING ON ME! AFTER I TRIED TO SUPRESS MY FEELINGS OF RESENTMENT TO GET PAST THIS ISSUE SO OUR RELATIONSHIP COULD WORK!

HE BASCIALLY EXPECTED ME TO FIX ALL OF HIS CHEATING ISSUES BY MYSELF BY JUST SMILING AND PRETENDING LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED.

HE ALSO SAID DURING THAT PHONE CALL, "Did you ever ask me if I was okay?" WHEN I BROUGHT UP HIM IGNORING ME ALL OF THE TIME.

BRUH YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME! MY PATIENCE DOES HAVE A LIMIT YOU KNOW!

ALSO ALSO, YOU IGNORED ME BECAUSE YOU INSISTED ON A BREAK! WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT ME TO DO? KEEP SPAMMING YOU WITH TEXT MESSAGES?! YOU WOULD'VE GIVEN ME HEAT FOR THAT TOO AND SAY THAT I WAS SUFFOCATING YOU!

I do have to add that he did ask if I was okay only once during the break...buuut then he kept ignoring me, never reassured me that he wasn't cheating, never blocked his sexual roleplay partners, never overall showed me he was willing to change his toxic behavior, etc. He never took my feelings seriously even though it was very clear that I wasn't okay with him ignoring me. So I think that question was just a way to relieve his guilt about his emotional affair with his current partner rather than actually showing genuine concern about me.

I actually wanna go back to our Instagram chat and see exactly how that particular conversation went, but I don't wanna trigger myself more. I'm honestly already crying writing about how I felt during the break.

Going back to the depressive episodes thing, I think its ironic because now I've been currently struggling with a depressive episode where I've temporarily deactivated my main social media so no one can contact me. Because I feel like a burden to my friends.

Because of him.

So I totally understand why someone with depression would isolate themselves, but I'd never ignore my partner like that. I felt like he just did that to ignore any accountability for his actions (and to cheat) until I was so starved for affection, that I'd just give him a pass for whatever caused an issue in our relationship in the first place. And I fell for it.

Every time.

He even said shit like "wElL i wAs tAuGhT tO jUsT mOvE oN" as a way to sweep issues under the rug, so there's that.

The most frustrating part about this is; even if he gets these moments where he feels alone like in that TikTok video, he will never feel it in the same devastating way I perceive loneliness, if that makes sense.

[chaoticvictorianspirit]

This is literally Tumblr suicide. @staff I don't think you understand just how bad of a move this is. The vast majority of your users (and I dare say pretty much all your actually active users) pick Tumblr over other social media exactly because they like the customizable user experience. Listen to the people! Don't fucking bring in an algorithm and kill one of your only assets that set you apart.

Navigating Tumblr isn't half as hard as you make it out to be, it's only that people have gotten used to being spoon-fed "content", or having it shoved down their throats rather. But it's so easy to let that mindset go after just a bit on Tumblr. There's so many "hellsite guides" floating around, by the people for the people, and anyone actually interested in seeing what this place is picks it up rather smoothly. And guess what? They actually enjoy it. A lot. Those who only click in, scroll for 3 minutes and then leave wouldn't have stuck around even if the algorithm hand picked posts for them.

This site is a damn ecosystem and its non-algorithmic nature is tightly wound into the overall user experience which in turn shapes the way people engage with the site and with one another and the unique communication style that's become synonymous with Tumblr, which in itself is the core identity of those very communities you claim to value and want to nurture.

Focusing on bringing in new users and shaping the site to their liking won't make it profitable or relevant or whatever. It will make it a desolate shadow of every other social media out there. An empty cardboard box with the words "TikTok Number Two!!" scribbled on it in crayon. You'll completely alienate the userbase that kept this site alive for 15 years, meanwhile the "new crowd" you were trying to lure won't look in your direction twice. If someone isn't interested in Tumblr, they won't stick around, period. They've got plenty of other options.

THEY DON'T NEED YOU.

YOU NEED US

(and this all doesn't even touch on the other thing I'm furious about - changing the way post threads / reblogs / replies work. I know it's a wacky system -hellsite derogatory and whatnot- but it's such a key feature that literally everything revolves around it. It is the way Tumblr works. In a way, it is the essence of Tumblr itself. The entire user custom, meaning the ways we perceive and interact with the site, the behavioral patterns we developed, the culture around simply existing in this virtual space, meaning literally everything we do and the way we do it, is shaped by this interface. I don't think this issue has been given enough attention frankly - just as much as all human experience is shaped by the language we use, all virtual experience is shaped by the tools and interface available on any given site. Changing the way Tumblr threads look and work will effectively change our environment to something unrecognisable. Essentially we will be forced to work with different tools and different materials, so there is no chance for us to make the same "product". It's like sending a bunch of chefs into a mine shaft with shovels and pick axes, expecting them to keep making the same cream of mushroom soup and garlic bread without complaint. You pulling this shit and still calling it a restaurant doesn't make the mine any less hostile to the chefs. It just makes a whole bunch of chefs leave in search of an actual restaurant and one useless abandoned mine. In short, changing this will change the face of Tumblr in ways not many people seem to be actually thinking about. But that's a whole new rant I'm saving for another day.)

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[my-reality-my-rules]

Hello!

I was wondering how to stay motivated when you haven’t shifted yet but are starting to lose hope.

Thanks for answering my question!

Have a good day.

[thanks for this ask!]

(1) ASK FOR ANGEL NUMBERS

well, one of the main things that kept me going were angel numbers. truthfully, if it weren't for them, I'd have thought shifting and manifestation were all just one big fat lie. it had been around two months after I'd discovered about shifting itself, and i was getting impatient on getting results. i haven't received any at all, save for the first night i actually tried it. I'll admit it was more on the toxic influence of social media then (ahem tiktok), and i had been a baby shifter who was severely misinformed on a lot of things. a lot of people said that asking for angel numbers helped! i called bullshit, initially. even though i was curious on trying out shifting, some part of me simply didn't want to engage in what i had then thought to be of the supernatural.

out of a desperate moment, i asked for the angel numbers. it doesn't have to be anything grand. just a small request. before sleeping, i laid awake for a while, just thinking about what it'd be like to finally shift. i thought of the things i could never have, not here, and made a last attempt for the night. that's it. it had only been a simple, 'Whoever or whatever's listening to me, from out there, just send me a sign, please. Angel numbers. Something small that reminds me why I started this in the first place.'. and i went to sleep.

it wouldn't be until after three or four days that i started receiving them. i do remember feeling discouraged about it, when i didn't immediately get the results i wanted. but slowly, they started appearing. on the time, on the number of likes a comment has, in books, in the length of a video, on things I'd type half-asleep (I'm not kidding on that last one lmao). it went strong for a few months, now that i think about it. and it felt nice, you know? to me, even if it felt like the angel numbers were more a reminder that i was procrastinating on shifting, at least i had something to keep me going.

(2) LISTEN TO MANIFESTATION SUBLIMINALS

another thing that's really been lifting my spirits up are subliminals! not necessarily shifting subliminals, if you will. manifestation ones, boosters, what have you. there's a lot of them on youtube, and there's usually a specific one for the intent you want to manifest. for this one, i highly recommend listening to moza morph, kapelsu, and Enchanted Workshop's subliminals! they're the ones i frequently use, and so far, they've been doing wonders for me. here's a link to my personal playlist, if you're interested. i add onto it every other day or so, when i find another sub that i like. I'm actually listening to it right now lol.

I've been in somewhat of a...well nothing's going wrong at the moment, but nothing right is, either. i didn't realise how demotivated i had actually been when i went on a subliminal binge last week. there's been a lot to do lately, and for some reason, listening to my favourite songs made me panic (??) instead of making me feel slightly relieved of the situation. so, i turned to subliminals. good lord, i actually finished most of my school tasks. christ that one luck/success really worked. i can't even put it in the right words—subliminals and subliminal makers are an absolute fucking godsend.

if you feel as if there's some kind of blockage when you're shifting, then try the smaller day-to-day-type subliminals first (ex., improved writing, clearer senses, better sleep, heightened attention span, get work done, etc.). build it up, and when you're comfortable enough, you can try moving on to shifting subs and/or guided meditations. the biggest tip that i can give when listening to them is to wholeheartedly assume you're already where you want to be. you need to believe in it, to see your results. it's all in the mind—which brings me to my next point.

(3) RECOGNISE YOUR POWER AND WORTH

i can't stress this one enough. if you truly think you can't, you won't. i don't remember the exact quote, or who even said this, but: your actions make your reality. you need to learn how to grow into yourself, to learn how to trust and love yourself.

a lot of people already say that, and it does get tiring to hear time and time again...but they're not wrong. listen, i absolutely abhor toxic positivity—and I'm not saying you should simply up and pretend your struggles are non-existent, because at the end of the day, they do tend to catch up to you. but they also help you heal, and build you to become a better person. maybe it's not what you want to hear, especially if you're at a low point in your life, but nonetheless, it rings true. you survive first, and then you live. it's a process.

shifting can take a lot out of a person, whether you're pursuing it or if you're simply gaining entertainment or inspiration from another's experience. mentally and emotionally, for the most part. it's important you look out for yourself, because again, who'd live out your dreams for you? people find themselves demotivated, but that shouldn't hinder their potential to do so much more. be so much more. I'm not saying this just as a reality shifter, but also as someone who wishes you all the best in general.

i hope this helps! have a good day as well, and happy shifting ❤️❤️

[trentaafcsblog]

3 with sancho

Prompts - Boy Things

3. Catching him liking another girl’s post

You both had the habit of side-eyeing the other person whenever they were on their phone, trying to get a glimpse at whatever’s on the screen just to make sure that they weren’t doing something that they shouldn’t. And you both know it’s stupid considering you trust the other person with your whole heart, but sometimes you just need the reassurance that they’re watching penguin videos on TikTok, or learning how to make the perfect macaroni cheese on YouTube, instead of stalking someone else’s Instagram account. But sometimes you do get caught out for letting your eyes wander a bit too far down someone’s timeline whilst you do everything you can to stop yourself zooming in on the bulge in their trousers or their nipples that are slightly visible through their tight-fitting top, and this happened to be Jadon’s day.

“You okay?” you ask as you sit at the opposite end of the sofa, immediately clocking that he was on a part of Instagram that he probably shouldn’t be on when his girlfriend was in the same room.

“I’m fantastic” he smiles as he looks up at you for a split second before his eyes are being dragged back down to his phone screen. Of course he’s fantastic - he’s literally in heaven. Tits, asses, teeny weeny little bikinis everywhere.

You can’t help yourself as you sit up as straight as possible so that you can get the best view of his phone, not that you particularly want to see who your man’s drooling over, but you just have to make sure that he doesn’t do the forbidden *tap tap* on one of their posts. Your eyes burning into the side of his head as you flick your attention between his face and the array of girls on his phone, double checking that he’s not smiling at any of them or letting beads of saliva trickle out of the corner of his mouth. And then your gaze is being drawn to his thumb that is now hovering over a photo of a random girl about to step into a swimming pool. Her orange thong bottoms just about visible as she flicks her hair over her shoulder and gives the camera her best pout. Shaking your head as if to say ‘surely not’ when his thumb starts to lower itself down towards the screen. Surely he couldn’t do this. Not when he doesn’t even know her. Not when it’s one of the most revealing photos on the internet. Not when you’re sat right next to him. Surely?

But he’s doing it.

Truth be told, you can’t be mad at him because you’d probably do the same had she popped up on your feed, and it’s not like she’s one of your friends either so it’s not really a personal thing, but you’ve literally just witnessed your boyfriend almost getting a hard-on over somebody else that he’s seen on social media and you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t even just the tiniest bit annoyed by it, hence why you’re deciding to give him the silent treatment until snaps out of his daydream about the girl in the orange thong and finally realises that his actual girlfriend is in a mood. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asks when you practically slam his dinner down and go and sit down at the end of the table, a place you’d never sat before because the two of you usually eat side by side or opposite each other like you’re on a date, even when you’re eating fish fingers, chips and beans and dressed in pyjamas that you’ve had for about six years, something that definitely wasn’t restaurant standard. 

“Sorry, did someone say something?” you’re saying as you look around to try and find the voice, knowing true well that it came from the man at the other end of the table. Jadon dropping his fork onto the side of his plate and raising his eyebrows at you until he gains your attention.

“I asked what was wrong with you” he’s saying again as you pretend to think for a second, swallowing your mouthful of food before acting as though the thought has just come to your head.

“Maybe I should ask what’s wrong with you considering you think it’s okay to like other girls’ Instagram posts” you snap as he scoffs at you before bursting out into a fit of giggles.

“Is that seriously why you’re pissed off with me?” he’s questioning as you nod your head, poking a few pasta shapes around your plate until he decides to speak again.

“There’s no need to get jealous of someone that I don’t even know, I’ve liked more photos of you than I have her anyway and it was literally just a one off” he starts as you look up at him from across the table, “anyway, if anyone should be raising a point then it’s me cose I’ve seen you liking all of Harry Styles’ posts, every single one to be precise, and the majority of the ones on his fan accounts too” he’s telling you as you feel your cheeks starting to heat up, turning away as you try to hide your growing smile because you know you’ve been caught out.

“That’s different though” you’re saying as he raises an eyebrow and hums in response. “You don’t see me getting myself into a strop about it because I know I’ve got nothing to worry about, and you shouldn’t either because you’ve got the juiciest ass in the whole wide world and I’d much rather stare at yours than hers” he’s reassuring you as you giggle and blush at his comments. Finally pulling yourself together and scooting across the table so that you can sit in your usual seat next to him, snuggling into his side and apologising for being so jealous, but at least you now know that your ass is better than hers, making a mental note to wear an orange thong tomorrow just to prove that point. 

@sanchooo-xo @alexajanecollins @domsgirl

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[thesinglesjukebox]

DRAKE - TOOSIE SLIDE

[2.67]

A meme-based, quick-spreading social media smash for which we really need a new metaphor.

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Since this site's inception, we have covered Drake 71 times. Every 51 days, give or take, an average of 8.8 of our writers sit down and review a Drake single. What's the point of it anymore? We're a decade-plus into both his career and this website, and while the highs were thrilling, especially the "Trophies"-"Worst Behavior"-"Hold On, We're Going Home" run from 2013-2014, those days are long past. We have entered the long nadir of Fucking Drake. "Toosie Slide" breaks through the monotony by being worse. It's imperially bad Drake, tyrannical mush that has consumed the pop attention economy. It's the kind of dance track that only works in an environment where people are legally barred from going out to dance, a rhythm-less, formless song that idles in sub-0PN synth work while Drake mutters some drafts about shooting dudes. He references Michael Jackson, but every one of Jackson's hits felt burdened with extraordinary effort. Drake, instead, managed to make something out of nothing for so long that he can no longer tell when he's making nothing out of nothing [0]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Shamelessly Trying to Go Viral Drake + Sad Boy Toxic Masculinity Drake = the Cha-Cha Slide on Xanax. [2]

Thomas Inskeep: aka the Electric Slide for the TikTok generation. Only with Drake going on over top of it in his emo sadboy fashion, of course. [4]

Tobi Tella: The aforementioned slide must be a slide away from dignity or artistic ambition. I joke, but this has to be the least effort he's put into anything in a while -- and this is the man who released Scorpion. It's almost at Bieber levels of thirst for virality, angling obviously to be a TikTok dance when the best of those come somewhat organically from bored teenagers. The song isn't even fun! It's a mid-tempo with no sense of life or energy, where Drake calls out dance moves like he's on Ambien. The rest of the song is filled with throwaway lines of his signature call to arms for basic girls and douchebags (I'm sure SOMEONE has captioned an Instagram post "I could dance like Michael Jackson"). And despite all of this, it's a hit, because of course it is. [1]

David Moore: Why submit to this depressive Stockholm Syndrome-dependent excuse for a line dance when the Ciara remix of "The Git Up" is sitting right there in mint condition, still in its original packaging? [2]

Alfred Soto: The Auto-tuned falsetto bit aside, "Toosie Slide" compresses Aubrey Graham's lack of affect into four bloodless minutes. Most people dance alone to a better rhythm. [4]

Alex Clifton: Drake made his own TikTok music video with the most boring dance in the world. "Toosie Slide" is pretty bland just as a song, but the dance itself is foot up, slide, foot up, slide, and that's it. It's designed to go viral because the dance is so easy that you don't have to be Charli D'Amelio to learn these moves. At least the "In My Feelings" challenge was interesting -- I get that we're all social distancing, so dancing outside cars is not the best move currently. But Drake is meant to be an entertainer. Entertain us, then. [4]

Katie Gill: 1. Who was breaking quarantine to film those damn outside shots? Get yo ass indoors. 2. Does a song going viral on TikTok really count if it's designed from the ground up to go viral on TikTok? 3. Does it even count as going viral when previous viral TikTok dances are these beautiful, intricate things and yet "Toosie Slide" is so basic that even the "Cha Cha Slide" has more complexity? This feels like something that was quickly pushed out to be timely it, the way that every single podcast you listen to quickly pushed out a COVID-19 themed episode in the past few weeks. Look, kids, Drake's self-isolating! Isn't that trendy? [4]

Katherine St Asaph: A thought almost as harrowing as "what would you have done during the Great Depression": what did you do, past tense, during the Roaring Twenties, which in this century were the Roaring Tens? How did you spend it? Would you have spent it with more roar? Nobody ever thinks they're thinking this will never end. Lately I can't stop listening to 2010s dance-pop -- the more viscerally nostalgic the better, the more love in this club seconds away, the more desperate Blackout death drive. It is a fleeting substitute for a unattainable rush, because now you and I are furloughed from rush, new career in global anhedonia cosplay (unless, of course, it wasn't cosplay for you). Not even Drake is immune. Probably I'm not the only one who recalls the 2010s as Drake's decade: soundtracking all yesterday's parties, making every year's memes, being appointed by millions as the liver of their vicarious best life. He defined the decade, which is to say he's a relic. What could a Drake song even be right now? An energy drain, Drake likening himself to Michael Jackson as if he hadn't already one-upped himself by sampling the man; bringing back YOLO as if these were remotely YOLO times; answering the chorus "don't you want to dance with me?" with "no"; dictating steps for a TikTok dance that already seems played-out, while pacing through his palatial Masque of the Red Death quarantine palace. He sounds as defeated as the rest of us. (A Billboard headline: "Drake's 'Toosie Slide' Turned Into a Springtime Pop Anthem." Springtime? Anthems? Did they lay off everyone who experiences real life?) It must sting Drake that his former protege Abel Tesfaye has outdone him once again, if not on the charts anymore then in the mood. The city is cold and empty. Another month of this and we'll all be turned on by just a touch. And we'll be on our own for long enough, sliding right foot, left foot into limbo. [3]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[scrambledthoughtz]

fed up w/ quarantine & other thoughts

been feeling really fucking fed up with myself recently. every time i feel like complaining about this quarantine or shelter-in-place, i feel like a stuck-up asshole and i just remember that TikTok that's like "Kim, there are literally people dying." i understand that i'm in a huge position of privilege given the circumstances because my family and i can afford to stock up on food, toilet paper, and cleaning agents. i know that we are lucky to even have the chance to complain about the fact that we are stuck at home -- reading, sleeping, catching up on lectures, painting, or whatever other activites people have picked up during this quarantine. i know that there are people out there (like doctors, nurses, mail men, grocery store workers, Uber drivers and more) who are working their asses off to make sure that we are able to maintain at least some degree of normalcy despite the chaos that we have all been thrown into. and massive props to them -- i really can't even begin to express my gratitude for those who are still working hard at their jobs while the rest of us get to stay at home. so trust me when i say i know. i know i shouldn't really even be complaining because in the grand scheme of things, i am lucky. my family is lucky. many of us are lucky. but with all that being said, i'm not going to deny the fact that these extended periods of time spent cooped up inside has taken a bit of a toll. i've been so fed up with myself recently for a number of reasons. first, it has been SO hard to focus at home. i'm not used to being inside for so long, or not having the option to go somewhere else to study when my room proves itself to be a massive distraction. it's not like i don't have anything to do. i do. i had midterms last week, and finals this week. but despite this, i've found it so difficult to focus and to commit to sitting down and actually put effort into my schoolwork. i'm the type of person who hates turning something in when i know i haven't put my best effort into. sometimes it is what it is, but especially with my bigger assignments (like this 10-page research paper i have due at the end of this week), i would absolutely hate to turn in something that i'm not at least decently proud of. and i've always been this way. i always tell people the story of when i fell asleep the night before my country report was due, and i woke up to it being finished, thanks for my mom to took over and finished up my project while i had temporarily passed out on the floor next to the computer. in the end, i got an A, but i was still upset because i felt like i didn't deserve the grade that i had gotten. it was my mom's A, not my own. since then, i've mellowed down a little. i've grown to understand that i can't put my 100% into everything, but i still hate turning in something that i'm not proud of. but i just can't find the willpower to sit down and freaking type out this paper. i don't even know why. actually, maybe i do. a few weeks ago, i went to an academic coaching appointment at Foothill, and i told the coach that i may have an perfectionist instict where i drag out assignments because i know that they're going to take a lot of effort and brainpower and i don't want to churn out anything sub-par. it's a worthy revelation, but it doesn't do me any good if i don't work on it. now, i'm not a perfect (or even a stellar) student by any stretch of the imagination, but i don't think i really realized how much of my identity is tied with school and my education. without that structure and constant push, i feel genuinely lost. it's like, "what now?" what am i working towards? if i have too much time on my hands, i'm almost always itching for that empty space to be filled with schoolwork, or any type of productive activity. it's not like i LOVE school or anything, but i also don't hate it. and actually, nowadays, i really miss it. i miss my instructors. i miss my classmates. i miss sitting in a classroom and participating in-person. i'm honestly kind of sick of talking with people over the phone, text, email, or FaceTime. i miss the physical face-to-face connection. i miss my workplace. i miss it a lot. i miss my supervisors, my co-workers, and the ridiculous conversations we'd have during the night shifts. i miss laughing so hard that my stomach hurts and tears are streaming out of my eyes. i've been spending an obscene amount of time on social media, and it's been more toxic, time-consuming, and draining than anything. i've uninstalled and reinstalled Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok countless times over the past week. i honestly lost count of the number of times that i uninstalled one of those apps in a brief moment of determination and productivity, and then reinstalled in a prolonged period of boredom. my sister has been so productive these past few days, and i envy her focus. i'm starting to develop an irrational resentment towards her. she is able to focus for long periods of time, she has the willpower to not snack out of boredom, and she has somehow developed impressive upper body-strength. she goes on daily runs, and she is able to manufacture structure for herself in an otherwise long, uneventful day. the days are beginning to blend together, and i've told myself that i wouldn't let myself succumb to boredom. i try to keep myself busy. i downloaded an audiobook that i listen to in the morning and while i'm walking my dog. it's a charming book, something that i wouldn't be able to get through if i was physically reading it myself. it's called "The Rosie Project." i see so many people rediscovered hobbies and talents, learning how to cook, finally getting to that "stack of books that they've been meaning to get to", creating their own home workouts, and i feel so much guilt. i feel so much guilt that i've been sitting on my ass all day, complaining. not doing much except for refreshing each of my social media apps, hoping for new posts to scroll through. i know that there are things that i should be doing, but i just can't. i know that i should learn to cook because i am going to be moving out soon. i know that i should take this opportunity to work out more often. i know that i've been looking for more time to read, and this extra time has cropped up. i know, i know, i know. i'm beginning to develop familiar resentment towards my friend, who keeps on sending me frightening statistics. stop getting your anxiety all over me. i know that the amount of coronavirus cases in the Santa Clara county has tripled in the past week. i know that the president is shutting down borders and banning international (and even domestic) travel. i know that we are basically trapped. i know that a "shelter-in-place" directive is one of the most serious directives out there, and that it should not be taken lightly. i know that we need to work on flattening the curve, and that we are barely even there. i know that school is probably cancelled for the rest of the semester and that it'll take place virtually, even though the shelter-in-place is only supposed to last until April 7. i know that it'll be extended because the spread of this virus has shown no signs of slowing down. i know that, despite what the media tells us, the elderly are not the only ones who are susceptible. wash your hands, wear a face-mask when you go out, wear gloves, don't touch your face or your mouth. social distancing is the legal mandate. stay 6 feet away. no social gatherings. stay at home, stay at home, stay at home. don't go to the beach and party it up like a fucking idiot. all non-essential businesses shut down. no one knows how long this is going to last. the death toll keeps increasing. our governor may even shut down beaches because ppl aren't taking the shelter-in-place mandate seriously enough. it's crazy, it's uncertain. thankfully my professors have been so understanding, so kind, and so generous. my Ethics professor made our final option (although i'm still going to take it because i have a fucking B in the class right now -- another story for another time). my research methods professor has extended our paper deadline three times, and she sends out announcements reminding us to take care of ourselves. i know that it's a difficult time, but i can't help but feel guilty. yes, it's a difficult time for everyone involved, but surely more so for others? i'm just sitting at home complaining and eating chips. this doesn't apply to me? i don't deserve an extension on anything because i'm not doing anything anyways. it's not like i have anything else to do except my assignments, and i'm still not doing them. i feel like a lazy piece of shit who is just going to take advantage of these extensions to procrastinate even more than i already am. sure, it's lonely at times and i've only really talked in-person with my family for more than a week. but i didn't do anything to deserve this. the real support and recognition should go to those on the frontlines -- the doctors, nurses, infectious disease experts, and so on. props even to my dad, who is a dentist. i'm just sitting at home, having the luxury of doing nothing, having my meals made for me, while my professors are frantically working behind the scenes to make sure we still get our education. i don't deserve this. it always boils down to this, and i'm not sure why. a lingering feeling of guilt or "un-deserved-ness".