#ft. some light hcs abt chai's backstory here cuz it's free real estate baby
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psychangels · 2 years ago
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thinking abt chai and his cockiness. so take my analysis
chai's cocky attitude stems from three things: bullying, ableism, and his low self-esteem. and all three of these things r intrinsically connected due to their nature
i don't think the idea that chai was definitely bullied should surprise anyone. as awful as it is to say, he's very much an easy target for that sort of thing. the weird kid with a messed up arm sitting alone at lunch is the most likely to get picked on.
the majority of this bullying was certainly ableist. and of course it's going to have a negative affect on chai's self-esteem and overall well-being.
"but what does this have to do with him acting cocky?"
it's a defense mechanism, plain and simple.
if chai acts confident enough, they'll leave him alone. if he acts unaffected and bites back, twice as hard, eventually they'll go away. if chai acts cool enough, if he pretends everything is fine, everyone will stop paying so much attention to his arm. if chai acts cocksure enough, if he's annoying and loud and arrogant, then everyone will stay away from him. no more pity friends. no more fake ones, either. it's not like he deserves real friends, anyways. he should be alone. it's better this way.
it's a three for one deal, and it works wonders! ...until it doesn't
now, it should also be noted that i don't think chai is purposely an ass ALL the time just to make ppl dislike him and whatnot. in fact, there r plenty of instances where he seems to do it unintentionally due to his low empathy and difficulties with social cues.
a primary example of this would be during the scene where korsica joins the team. chai is being kind of a jerk, but it rlly doesn't feel like he's MEANING to be. after all, later, when he goes to talk to korisca he speaks much softer and is overall more kind.
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